#finally find another relationship
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CAN I GO FIVE FUCKING MINUTES WITHOUT SOME SORT OF LIFE ALTERING EVENT
#you ever get dump your ex#spend the next month being emptionally manipulated by him#finally find another relationship#they go to the hospital less than a week later#then they fucking dump you without talking about anything a month later#and then you find out a few days later that they lied to you about why they dumped you#so you spend a week in some sort of depressed sludgefest and then one morning at 11:11#youre like 'lmao i wish i could get some closure'#and 2 hours later you get a text from the boyfriend of your former high school best friend who ghosted you without warning 5 years ago#he starts hitting on you#so you send her screenshots youre not sure she'll see bc you thought you were blocked#turns out youre not#and now youre helping your former best friend dump the fuck out of her boyfriend after 5 years of no contact#lmao anyone relate. hello#help
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I would say that, considering his history, he's not that wrong, but even I have doubts as to whether that would be right. But at the end of the day, this is just a joke that's been in my head for a while, sooooo…eh.
Oh hey, an attempt at a comic? Made by me? That I didn't give up during the process or lost all motivation? What was my only attempt at this, 2019? Damn, it's been a long time.
I thought about leaving this here without editing or any colors, just the natural ones from the paper and pencil. But something in my head said "HAHAHA, no" so I went back to work. I had to put this idea down on paper this time (literally). If another year passes without me being able to execute this idea, I would lose my mind.
This scenario was inspired by this video by Jehtt, inspired by the original meme by Windii. Credits to both of them.
For a long time I wanted to joke - especially on the anniversary - that I wanted Sammy to only have less than 5 seconds in the next game (or in other words, take his screen time in DR, and shorten it even more). You know, just for the funnies (unless..?) But,thanks to the news released at the beginning of January this year about The Cage, I legally can't do this joke anymore…this year. Don't worry, after that comes out (and finally gives Sam the screen time he wants,hopefully) and we start to crawl into the Bendy 3 production era, I'll make this joke when I can.
Anyway, happy birthday Sammy Lawrence. You may not be my favorite character in this franchise, but there are some things I can actually appreciate about you. Plus, you made me laugh a few moments before (you know what I'm talking about) so there's that.
And happy 7 years to Chapter 2, and by extension, Susie, Norman, Alice, the Searchers, (Johnny????), and Beta Ink Bendy. (I would mention Jack too, but he was only introduced with the release of CH4, so technically it's not his birthday yet, but I'll consider him here).
And now? May I be able to do something for CH4's anniversary. Wish me luck,cus I'll need it.
(it might be really late now, but it's still the 18th where I live, so it's still his birthday, so I still won)
#bendy and the ink machine#batim#bendy and the dark revival#batdr#sammy lawrence#porter batdr#batdr porter#crookedsmileart#another fun fact: I thought of this comic with Wally in mind instead of Porter#Problem is I don't have any designs at the moment of Wally as his ink counterpart;and I didn't want to have to think of a design for him no#So I switched to Porter;I think it still fits#my relationship with Sammy is complicated#Sammy; as the human director of the music department? He is ok. He's not my favorite of the human cast; but I don't dislike him. He's fine#Sammy; the prophet? Eehhh. I prefer the human.#Like there are things I can actually appreciate about him.#Certain details that I find interesting. And his appearance in CH2; for what it is; it's not bad at all.#But in general? I'm not very interested in this guy (at least;this version of him) And his post-CH2 appearances don't really help his cause#I still believe they had no plan to bring Sammy back later in the story#but because of his popularity they decided “yep;let's bring him back”; problem is: I don't think they knew what to do with him after CH2#and one might argue that they still don't know#Hopefully;The Cage will finally give Sammy the screen time he so desperately needs.#and maybe; then; I can finally start to like him a little more (okay; let's not go that far now)#Maybe his deaths in the franchise aren't his happiest moments; but they were definitely mine#HAHAHAHAAHHA (/j.....unless)
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#you know if every house you move into is riddled w ghosts maybe its not the paranormal but the person u r living w...#or maybe the ghosts r trying to warn u abt smth😭#one braincell one braincell one braincell#literally so in sync!!!4!4#Ks hand is getting closer and closer to T on the back of that couch...#yes u should hang out some more. go ahead pls.#(atp not even just words. they say the same sentences at the same time. its happening. they r merging into one.)#compliments!#THE INTIMACY OF KNOWING EACH OTHERS FAMILIES#FOR GODS SAKE. I CANT TAKE IT😭😭😭#cute that we have finally arrived to them admitting that they r besties. we may be actually getting somewhere.#(give them another 10 years and maybe they will manage to actually hang out? dare i dream!)#fucking love this dress on T!!!#they keep finding new and exciting ways to grab and hold eachother🧐#“a three body problem is that im in a committed relationship-” hmmmmmm#K asking T abt videogames! so cutesy!#well at the end T did manage to fuck Ks wig off (just an ep later)#also her hand placement! hello!?#trixie & katya#trixie mattel#katya zamo#iltw#trixya
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there is some symbolism iv never considered in that one episod of pt5 where zenigata rescues fujiko before she kills lupin
#there are many timelines and variations in lupin as a serie so that every ship could work#in my own prefered timeline lupin finally gets the hint that fujiko plays him like a fiddle#to me she does like him but he is an instrument to her#she is cold hearted and calculating and always thinking about relationships in terms of profit#i got some ideas abt her background that justify this. essentially she kills the detective that is after her and with that kills#the soft part of her that she couldnt control before#eventually and despite his affection lupin gives up the objectifications and the desires he projects onto fujiko#whom uses his delusions like a master tbh#thus allowing himself to consider zenigata. he plays with zenigata the way fujiko plays with him#hes just not as calculating. he feels pity and remorse where fujiko doesnt#he finds the thrills and the doubts and the lack of trust and the risk of betrayal in zenigata. the things that he loves the most#he isnt about stability. he thrives in the unknown. he loves that zenigata could backstab him and does so sometimes#and in that lack of stabilty some form of stability builds up. there is familiarity#and most importantly there are rare times when they can put the game aside and just chill#just enough to gather the energy to go back to trying to kill each other#plus zenigata pampers him during those breaks and he loves that#he acts with carelessness but he does care. in that regard he looses to fujiko#at least thats how she sees it. he doesnt see caring as a flaw#and zenigata is so sweet. he really is. and lupin loves to stirr up the crazy in him#fucking loonies the both of them#so in essence zenigata doesnt really 'save' him from fujiko but he becomes lupins new favourite toy to throw around#fujiko is only upset that because of that ugly looser of a detective her grip on lupin is loosening#she does find ways to use that newly developed affection luzeni has to her advantage thou#lupin is still her instrument she just drags zenigata along now#fujiko is such a good and interesting character and deserves so much better honestly#despite my love for TWCFM i wish there was another serie centralized around her where her ruthlessness is examined#and her cunning is studied. and the proper law enforcement she should face the same way lupin does#shes like a million times smarter and more ressourceful than him. steals much more. embezzles. manipulate#lupin is just a small time pickpocket next to her. she isnt about stealing a painting shes about emptying the pockets of the richest men in#the world. her goals are much more ambitious
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mama's gonna help build the wall
#mother did it need to be so high?#i highly recommend giving your wol mommy issues it makes the hydaelyn shit sooooo much worse 😊😊😊#finally fleeing from one pair of handcuffs after years of deliberation only to find you've ran right into another pair#and all the shit she warned you about the outside world was right. it does hurt like fuck. are you gonna go back?#what are you gonna do. hate her? for being right? the woman who birthed and raised you?#i love u inherent unfairness of mother-child relationships#gpose#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv au ra#funnylizardman
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Anime good :) (Patreon)
#Doodles#MP100#Shigeo Kagayama#Reigen Arataka#Ritsu Kageyama#Forgive the anglicized name order lol#MP100 was another one of my breakfast anime! Admittedly I did not Just watch it during breakfast tho lol#It was too good ahhhh I kept finding my thoughts returning to it throughout the day!#I probably ended up watching an additional episode or so per day over however long it took haha - drastically cut down the number of days!#The lead ups to the finales especially got me - there was no way I could for the whole next day to see them through!#Plus getting to see those beautiful EPs gosh <3 What could be better than some absolutely stunning animation ♥#I was quite impressed the whole way through :D The cast was great and the animation was beautiful and fluid and impressive#And the technical ability that went into the painted animation! Gosh!!#But most of all - of course - it's just a good solid story <3 Of course it's beautifully expressed but it's just - good down to its bones#I love a story like that :) Mob is such a wonderful character and he's surrounded by good people ♥ It made my heart happy to see#He's loved and he loves <3 That's my very favourite!#Unsurprisingly to me I was most enamoured by the brother relationship who could've seen that coming lol me? Siblings? Pfsh ♪#Ritsu's a sweet boy as well <3 I cried at him crying from Mob not even considering forgiving him because there was never anything to forgive#Not me shorter older sibling feeling exactly the same way hhghghh I'm fine ;;#Reigen is such a fun deadbeat supportive adoptive dad haha ♪ He's hard to pin down! Loved his redemption arc(s) :)#Flawed individuals my beloved <3#Such an enjoyable cast and set of circumstances! I might actually have to give OPM a proper go sometime soon if this is the writing quality
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Hey what if. I cried. What then.
#😭😭😭😭#rose reads tvc#it's the unhealthy relationships show full of toxic people and i know that#but i can't help but be weak to the idea that they all have love for one another to some degree.#and that with eternity in front of them they can find ways to finally express that love and find peace with each other and themselves#(i know it's a naive take. and yet.)#(also this only applies to the characters i like 🥰 love & light etc.)
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coil ch
edit: tumblr stole half of my tags so i put a bad version of the second half of what i was trying to say in my notes :( sorry
#magic and mystery#m&m coil#this one was actually sweet tho#kinda mad that lockhart's getting any credit at all but what can ya do#i think i would be more destroyed if blaise actually killed him#hhow tf did he actually find the chamber tho???#like what could make you guess there???#i hope that gets answered#cant remember how he found out in the hp books either#think he followed them????? maybe???#but he took too long to have followed them in coil i think.. so idk#but it was an incredibly sweet ending#and i like that we got to see ginny's love for chaos form#if allegory writes another year then that year will be insane#especially w/ percy and pansy now in the gang too ??!!#man the gang is going#and again i predicted since early coil that by the end of coil pansy would join the gang#i believed in her#dad snape is back again and thank god too#obviously the pm is gonna mess w/ their relationship#but yk#him getting his name cleared and not being able to do anything abt it im happy but worried abt him going home#how are they even gonna end the year off??? will snape pomfrey and mcgonagall rlly let him go home#theyre gonna have too right??#also the diary is still in play and im concerned#but for now we have a ch ending on a nice note#ALSO I FINALLY GOT MY BLAISE POV ID BEEN CALLING FOR AWHILE NOW#surprised it took this long and that it didnt address things i thought it would#it was good and it made since for him to be thinking like that in the moment#but i rlly want him to atleast address pansy's arm getting broken eventually
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I'm dying, I had another fandom breakup several years ago where I also poured my frustration into a deeply pornographic fic.
The main differences are:
different fandom, obviously
this was actually one of the last fics I ever wrote for that fandom, it really was a kiss off. the only fics I posted after it were just me finishing up some prior obligations.
I actually wrote it and posted it, as opposed to the pornographic vent fic I was writing for wwdits that I set aside for now.
I APPARENTLY POSTED IT TO TUMBLR FIRST?
I know this because someone just reblogged it (and said some really kind things, thank you ;;) and I had completely forgotten that I'd been so deep in my fit of pique that I was like "well this is vent fic that I wrote to cope with my frustration towards canon, not REAL fic, so I should post it to tumblr, not AO3."
At first I was just laughing over the sheer timing of it all, someone digging up this ancient post with like 25 notes from many years ago the exact same week that I'm having angst over the fandom I replaced the old one with, but then I actually clicked on the post in my notifications and was like.
wait.
did I.... post a sixteen-thousand-word fic to tumblr?
I DID. AND PEOPLE READ IT??? like that's the fucking wild part, that people were willing to sit down and read a fucking sixteen-thousand-word fic under a read more on tumblr. people were so strong back then.
(thankfully, I was convinced to crosspost it to AO3 a few days later, which actually made the fucker readable.)
the sheer ridiculousness of my tantrum (and my weird internal classification for what fic "deserved" to be on AO3 vs. what should just quietly be forgotten on tumblr) has me laughing. which I think was actually kind of needed, haha. we all need to laugh at our own fandom angst sometimes.
if I do end up finishing and posting the wwdits ventfic, I promise I'll actually post it on AO3. lmao
#writing liveblogging#kind of wild how my nandermo sex pollen/potion fic morphed over the course of the season in my head#from a silly 'oh we thought we were dosed with sex pollen so we've been fucking for two weeks but it actually wore off after an hour' fic#to a fic about what you do when you realize the truth about your relationship#and what it means to hold a secret that will destroy everything you love#(i.e. mirroring Guillermo finding out they've been fucking because they're into each other not because they were drugged#and the vampire bite secret)#and finally becoming a fic about struggling to forgive someone who wronged you even if they didn't mean to#and how knowing what you don't want isn't the same thing as knowing what you do want#and ultimately a lot of makeup sex#and a relationship that is severely damaged but perhaps salvageable#I HAVE GROWN... AND SO HAS THIS FIC... lmao#but I realized I was just stressing myself out more so instead I drank some pumpkin beer and wrote meta for another show#and downloaded phoenix wright#and here we are#maybe I'll finish it once I've chilled out some and maybe I won't#that's life I guess
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Have you ever played/watched a playthrough of the game 12 Minutes? I think you'd like one of the reveals in it.
I did watch a full playthrough a while back. Unfortunately for this recommendation, I thought it was <3 stupid <3 No offense to anyone who likes it, I just thought the design of the loop in the first place was a bit clunky, the characters were sort of eh, and then the reveals themselves were, as I remember and as they played out on whatever stream I was watching, just kind of bad? A poorly put together story surrounded by poorly put together gameplay, but. like. willem dafoe was there 👍
#truly no greater evidence of the fact that you can’t just put sudden incest in your game for your shocking twist and expect me to find it at#all interesting or thought-provoking or even like. god. i don’t know what emotion they wanted the reveal to prompt honestly.#certainly didn’t do anything for me or for whoever i saw streaming it.#like they were just fucking frustrated at how obtuse the game had gotten at that point. which generally in point and clicks is sort of#expected except that the nature of the time loop being so set in stone meant that the feeling of making no progress was made even more#irritating than it would usually be in such a game. anyway my point is they were fucking annoyed and the reveal just made them go :/ uhm.#okay? like not even really disgust or horror or anything at that point just like. yeah alright i guess this is new information i’m being#given. idk what to do with it though.#like i think the ‘incest all along’ sort of twist needs to really hook you with the characters first so that you’re invested in the#relationship before the curtain is pulled back. and invested in a way that depending on the story either makes you sort of have an internal#struggle with your own instinctive disgust against your investment because part of you wants these characters you like to be happy together#anyway while another part of you knows that there’s something disturbing happening here. or like the entire thing should have been written#in such a way that already had you on edge and this final puzzle piece confirms why and you sit back and soak in the horror.#i *think* 12 minutes wanted to be the second one? i saw ‘think’ because it failed at being either and in the end the twist went over like#a lead balloon. just sort of shit. like im the incest guy and even i thought it was shit. anyway.#ask#tw incest
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ok guys its not funny anymore when is d&p hard lauching im starting to getting anxious /hj
#this is mostly in jest bc idk if they will and im okay with that they do what they feel comfortable and their life is none of my business#but if they plan to. can they do it faster. had a moment rewatching BIG where it got to me... wow... theyve had something REALLY special#for 15 years huh. dan is finally living his truth and a life happier than before but during this journey he had phil at a such important#point of his life. they endured so much. and probably fucked up in between bc we humans arent perfect and thats ok we make mistakes even if#they might hurt the person we love but hey. they persevered and now are thriving even more than before#and i got so emotional like... dudes... i want to tell you both thru the means where is possible for me that im so proud and so happy#for you both and you work and your journey and for experiencing pure queer joy that all queer people deserve#BUT LIKE AS MUCH AS ALL OF IT IS OBVIOUS AND SERIOUSLY DONT EVEN NEED A VERBAL CONFIRMATION ITS CLEARLY AS ITS PRESENTED#IDK I FEEL LIKE THEY HARDLAUNCHING WOULD GIVE LIKE. A SENSE OF PERMISSION FOR ME.#LIKE HEY WERE CHOOSING OURSELVES TO TELL YOU THIS INFORMATION ABOUT OUR PRIVATE LIFE#AND NOW YOURE FREE TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE WANT TO HAVE A UPPERHAND ON THIS ON OUR PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP#SO ITS A BOUNDARY FOR US AND FOR YOU#AND ILL BE LIKE THANK YOU FOR THE PERMISSION. SO HAPPY FOR YOU MARRIAGE OF 15 YEARS#idk guys im weird i genuinely just like to treat celebrities like theyre just another human being i find while i go on about my day#it even took me a while to read phan rpf fics not bc i thought it was like OOOO PROBLEMATIQUE but bc i felt genuinely guilty even tho i#joined the phan bandwagon back in the day#i only let myself joke nowadays bc theyre more open and comfortable with it and such so like... i allowed myself for that and the jokes#but still. o|-< i get embarassed sometimes just bc theyve not publicaly disclosed what ARE they NOW (outside of all the soulmate metaphors)#its not a them problem tho its a me problem im too empathic for no reason#ANYWAYS SORRY FOR YAPPING ON THE TAGS CAN YOU TELL I MANAGED TO BUY MY ADHD MEDS AGAIN#j.txt
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Back when you called us devils answering 'can a human piece of shit be redeemed?' by saying no.
- but you can't denigrate someone trying to do better
#another question is: Can victims and their persecutors have a healthy relationship?#No. But they can learn to see the other as a human being. The wrong has been done - but their interactions can improve#(those two questions and answers are not the same btw! victims have the right to never forgive their abusers!!)#(theyre a bit linked in the story - and i cant wait to find the scan for volume 5 - but the narrative never feel like its trying to excuse#yusuke and his 'gang' 's actions)#(up until what i read at least)#(i hope akari is fully happy now.. probably impossible - but i hope shes at least at peace with life)#A L S O: you cant escape your past#even if you forget about it - even if you bury it - even if you run away from it - youll have to face it eventually#youll have to face your wrongdoings#i hope the ending better feature yusuke and akari parting ways tho#he made her suffered far too damn much#and i know she forgave him - and shes the one who has the final say#but man... man...#aaaaaaaaaa yusuke is so fucked in the head#middle school yusuke.. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#back when you called us devils
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one year ago today i got some of the worst news ive ever gotten in my life so far. i am so lucky because the news wasn’t as bad as it could have been and also on the scale of things you could get bad news about it’s basically nothing like it’s not even a big deal compared to other things ive experienced let alone other ppl. but it was fucking horrible. it came out of nowhere. it defined the last year and it changed my whole life. there’s no point to making this post there’s no point in acknowledging it with other people around bc quite literally not a single person on this planet cares / is still hurt by it to the degree i am and im not saying that bitterly it’s simply a thing that is true of the situation. but i feel the need to acknowledge it on here not for anyone to sympathize or whatever but bc ive been documenting all the fallout of it on here / vaguing abt it multiple times a week for 52 weeks lol and i want this to be part of the record. but it’s like. damn. it’s been a year since it happened. but more importantly i SURVIVED this year. i survived. im still here. and even though im still wounded from it and can’t see all the good that came from it right now (though i am definitely aware of a lot of good that has come from it!) i am growing and changing. i might never fully heal from it (though maybe i will!) but one day this will not hurt as bad as it does. i am going to try to hold on to that.
#purrs#delete later#NOT to use this phrase knowing what it connotes. but what if you came into my life and the instant i made eye contact with you i knew i#wanted to get to know you and you became a role model for me in 4.5 days and then i spent 4.5 years clinging to your ankles and developing a#(possibly delusional / one sided) psychic bond with you and we were part of each others stories and you changed my life foreveand helped to#shape my heart and helped me find my wings and learn to fly and then one day in july tou revealed that you got another job and had been#searching for the last 6 months and you were abandoning us just as i was finally coming into my own in my most vulnerable moment and the#implication of this (because of your personality / lifestyle / whatever) is not only that we would no longer be colleagues but also no loger#in each others lives basically at all (also this is because of my own mental illnesses and our complicated relationship dynamic btw) and i#sobbed harder than i ever sobbed before in my entire life right in front of you and you told me to stop crying because it was making the#decision harder but that only made me sob harder because i love you and i still love you. and we were both girls#<- again. NOT what this is. just punchline of meme reference
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and i know its said a lot but im soooo serious when i say trans women who are musicians are so fucking good. go listen to pigeon pits three albums in a row and experiencing her journey in discovering herself and the evolutions of her relationship then come back to me
#i didnt even realize she was trans until halfway through the second album and i had to google it lol but seriously hope shes doing well#NOT TO BE CRINGE but as much as people rag on folkpunk i really do like it bc the albums are just from people. self produced and self writte#n#so its very personal. especially cause the bands usually deal with addiction or homelessness or gender issues#and often times when listening to someone whos been in the scene a while. you can basically see their journey as their music develops#like all of pat the bunnys bands are a very good example of this cause you compare johnny hobo to his final solo stuff….#pigeon pit is another favorite of mine cause i listened to her whole discography on a road trip and yea it was good#and days n daze ofc cause thats my fav band LOL i even have all their earliest albums that arent on spotify on burned cds so i can listen to#it whenever. plus ive saved like every video of them i could possibly find on youtube. and read interviews and and WHATEVER closest thing il#ill get to a parasocial relationship but thats not happening bc i understand these are just people dealing with addiction and mental illness#in the way that they can#but yea whatever getting off track idk i like the things i do and i think its good
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the insanest thing is that tommy just ignores all that about arthur. literally can't bear the thought that he both loves and hates him to such a cataclysmic degree
#the black comedy of tommy finally sleeping with grace and finding hope and joy here while arthur goes Through It#certainly another reason why their's was a doomed romance. can't have that#it's like i'm always saying the shippers don't have to worry about any of the other women. they have to worry about arthur#it's also one of the reasons why arthur doesn't really have a romantic relationship in the show#arthur/linda is genuinely somewhat offputting here because she is just a tommy stand in in a way
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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