#filss

[rvb-quotes-but-one-word-is-pussy]

RvB meme dump #3

[aidenpriceless]

Would like to ask, does F.I.L.S.S monitor our accounts?

She used to be in charge of monitoring accounts until an interesting incident took place where it appears she repeatedly tried to take down mine. It was quite sad to see her like that, I hope she recovered from that malfunction.

[lavernius]

VERY belatedly processed that the "Sheila" that exists in 19 is actually FILSS from the Staff of Charon/PFL Offsite Storage Facility. Which is baffling to me because that means it's technically not even the Sheila Lopez fell in love with, regardless of them sounding and acting the same. He got a facsimile of his wife back but it's not ACTUALLY her so he doesn't even get real closure from it. He's literally cosmically tortured.

[sypsart]

good morning rvb woman likers

[rvb-relationship-royale]

RvB Friendship Fray- Round One, Part Two, Poll Four

[robotnuts]

the saddest death in rvb on a meta level is Shelia’s by FAR. she was left in that pelican dropship functioning at .01% capacity and no one bothered to help her or transfer her out of there. church and caboose just leave her there. epsilon asks for her help again in s10 but still doesn’t help her back. her death happens offscreen and is unceremonious- she probably runs out of power at some point but no character ever acknowledges it, and the narrative expects you not to notice because a different version of her exists at the director’s hideout. she’s replaced and forgotten about. i miss you Shelia. 

[n3onwraith]

OH MY GOD JUNIOR SIGHTING!! YIPPEE JUNIOR MENTION!!

[favvnsongs]

two thirty am in my blorbo feelings and I like to think that alpha and filss would have been pals ;__;

[electricpurrs]

the diseases rvb gives me is that when we find out FILSS is alive and fine and wants to help the crew because she cares about then i was genuinely so happy and emotional. i got attached to the alexa ai disembodied voice

[pvtchurch]

he has literally never met a woman before and the only woman he knows WAS SPLIT OFF FROM HIS MIND.

[banamine-bananime]

god, the relationship between alpha and all the freelancers is just So Much. like, the way the only people alpha, apparently, is allowed to directly interact with are the fucking Director and the Counselor. that on its own would have been enough to make me tear my brain apart like no additional torture needed.

yet basement boy here knows the freelancers better than anyone. he inhabits their home in the sense that the MOI is kind of his body. that's complicated by the other AI of the MOI, like at the very least there's FILSS and she seems to run most of the MOI's day-to-day systems like life support training simulations etc., and by the fact that clearly alpha does not have constant access to all the cameras and mics of the ship or it would not be possible to lie to him about agents dying. but it's his purpose of existing to understand every minute variable about them that could influence mission success in such depth to figure out anything that can be done to help them improve and succeed and survive.

do you get me??? fucking Parasocial Relationships Man of all time. the sheer intensity of that one-way relationship. the way they'll all never get to know alpha, have no idea that in this all-time-most-toxic-workplace trying to break them there's someone who loves them so much. who they're the entire world of and who they don't know exists. and each fragment coming into the world with the knowledge they failed to keep them safe latent somewhere in them. and then getting to go out and meet these people who seem so familiar and important somehow.

i dunno man. but it keeps me up at night.

[leonardalphachurch]

saw the question of “how long does it take rvb to pass the bechdel test” and i got curious and also wanted to make myself mad so.

my answer is Reconstruction: Chapter 5 (s6e5). there’s a recorded conversation between sheila and tex about the ship crashing.

my answer with no caveats is Evacuation Plan (s9e4). carolina, 479er, filss and south all participate in a conversation that takes up a good chunk of the episode.

i talk a LOT more about the state of female character interactions under the cut.

the first time two women talk at all is s2e11/bgc30:

sheila bisexual moments. while iconic, this isn’t much of a conversation (tex doesn’t ever speak to her) and it’s certainly about a man so. doesn’t count. next!

next is s3e1/bgc39:

while here it’s implied that they are actually having a conversation at least we still don’t actually see any exchanges between them and they’re still talking about men and quote “Boring stuff like oppression, and a hostile work environment.” which is great but. a) we don’t see it. and b) again, still about men

next is tex and kai’s exchange in season 5. which is misogynistic as fuck and even if it did pass the bechdel test i would refuse to count it. but guess what! not only are they talking about men, but we literally do not see them talk to each other. kai speaks to tex “who’s o’malley?” but tex doesn’t respond to her, instead asking the guys “who’s the girl?” (s5e10/bgc92). then they talk in the background of the next episode while church and tucker are misogynistic. then it’s two more episodes until we get this gem

y’know, girl stuff! how fucking charming. these writers really have a great grasp on how woman act. god, it’s even worse when compared to tex and sheila’s conversation earlier. in what world would tex be fucking intimidated by kai.

and you know what the joke of this all is. even if they did have a conversation here that passed the bechdel test it still wouldn’t count under some rule sets because kai still doesn’t have a name at this point. great work team.

s5e15/bgc92 has a deleted scene where kai calls up a girl friend and they talk… i’m not counting it because 1) kai is as of yet unnamed and the girl friend is never named, 2) the conversation is ostensibly about junior, though they do talk about other stuff enough that you could argue it’s not about a man, but 3) it’s deleted. you don’t get credit for shit you deleted.

next time two women talk to each other is recovery one episode 4. this is the first time we see two women have an actual, back and forth conversation. the conversation is between south and commamd about wash, delta, and the fact that south isn’t rejoining freelancer. i do think this conversation fits the spirit of the bechdel test (two women talking to each other with deeper characterizations unmoored from being about men) but that’s only really by technicality. command isn’t a character here and doesn’t become one for another 4 seasons; the conversation is only retroactively a deeper one. it’s up to you whether or not you pass it. i think it’s important to remember that the bechdel test isn’t really a hard test to determine what’s feminist (and was made in the first place to be about queer women being able to see themselves in media) but rather a marker to help sort out if the female characters in a work are allowed any depth outside of men. this exercise is less about finding a scene fitting exact criteria and more about. me going oh god it really is fucking bad out there huh.

my actual pick, as i said in the beginning, is s6e5. though tex mentions gamma and the aliens, the conversation is still about the fact that the ship is crashing. and in terms of the spirit of the test, two women yelling at each other as they die definitely fits definitely fits “deeper character motivations outside of men” imo. it’s. kind of really sad though. the first time we ever see tex and sheila have an actual conversation is the last time we really see either of them, chronologically. we only got to see them have a relationship as they were dying. why couldn’t they have been friends in life.

if a recorded conversation isn’t good enough for you, you’ll have to wait until s8e15. season 7 does not have a single woman in it. tεx and filss talk about pfl’s files. it’s not exactly an in depth back and forth and the conversation is shared with simmons and church but. it’s something. i think sheila and tex’s convo fits the spirit of the test a bit more but. let’s chalk it up to two conversations in the 8 seasons. fantastic.

all right, season 9 time. come on, a third of the main cast is women! that’s gotta bring our numbers up, right?

episode 1? no. 2? no. 3?

incredible! we have a conversation between female operative and pilot! just kidding. the wiki doesn’t name them bc they haven’t been named yet, but this is a conversation between carolina and niner! no funny business! just an actual conversation between woman! wow. only took us nine seasons to get to a point where i can confidently say something passes the bechdel test with no caveats. unless we look at the 60 second rule. then. oops.

but… wow! episode 4 has… THREE women? talking to each other? and then a fourth joins in? i thought it was a myth! being able to handle so many women on screen at once… they really did something special here. anyway, this episode is the first to pass with flying colors. i can’t time shut bc i don’t have the videos on hand but i’m certain this passes the 60 second mark. great work! if only it didn’t take you nine years to get to this point.

ugh. i had more written past this point but tumblr erased it and i don’t feel like fucking redoing it. i got to the point i wanted to so. maybe i’ll continue this later. would like to explore the rest of pfl and chorus. it’s impressive how well pfl manages to avoid having women actually speak to each other. they’ll literally be in the same conversation but never actually address each other. this happens multiple times.

[ashen-sky]

Personal highlights from...

Red vs Blue The Ultimate Fan Guide

In honor of s19 and the continuation of where s13 left off, here are some highlights from the ultimate fan guide published back in 2015. I've been re-watching the show and it made me want to flip back through the guide. (Everything is sort of in the order it appears in the book, with a few exceptions)

Delta appears as a guide of sorts with fun facts

Caboose's position is listed as "Team Rookie/Occasional Captain/ Church's Best Friend" (it is actually struck out in the book)

He is also the only one listed with the title Captain, appearing as "Private/Captain Michael J. Caboose" (due to Wash "promoting" him, in the canyon on chorus)

Tucker is "Private First Class", Church, Donut, and Simmons are "Private"s, Sarge is listed as a "Colonel" under rank (the other Red's and Blue's ranks appears with their name while his is under "position"), and Grif is "Minor Junior Private, Negative First Class"

Wash used to be a chronic bed wetter (thanks D)

There's also a six page transcript of his psych eval prior to PF where we find out he injured a commanding officer because he wanted to "send everyone to their deaths", he also put a former bully through a mirror in fifth-grade

Grif is stated to have been assigned to Blood Gulch because he was the only survivor of an alien attack on a colony during the great war, he fell asleep at his post and everyone assumed he was KIA

Donut's position is listed as "On all fours... cleaning Red bade"

Doc's profile is "Doc/ O'Malley" and the whole thing lists both their interests, i.e "Position: Canyon Medic, Galactic Overlord"

Andy's (the bomb) name is "Andrew D. Kaboom"

Sheila and Filss share a page

Tex's notable attributes are "Kicking ass (and nuts), being a mean lady, and resurrection"

The password to unlock the file on Beta that CT left behind was "Allison" (Thanks again D)

York's page comments "Several reports were filed against Agent York claiming he and Agent Carolina had something of a "personal" relationship [...] Freelancer Command was unable to find any proof to support these accusations."

One of his notable attributes is "watching his right side" and his position is "team scoundrel"

Eta and iota (Carolina's AIs) were "fear and happiness"

According to the official time line, Carolina was around 6 when Allison died (Allison died 23 years before Blood Gulch and Carolina was born 29 years before)

Wyoming's real name is Reginald

South Dakota's Status is listed as "Extra Crispy"

Smith once spent two days contemplating in silence what Caboose meant when he said his favorite color was "Happy"

Dr. Grey's position is "(Mad) Doctor", she was considered a prodigy at age 11 when she diagnosed every patient in House M.D. within five minutes of their introduction, and she thinks Grey's Anatomy is "far too trite"

Felix and Locus' names are listed as Unknown in the book, but I do believe their names were revealed in a s14 episode

The counselor advised the director to tell Tex that Alpha was in Blood Gulch to protect him and stop her from investigating the project

Notable Features of Blood Gulch include "Avoid Tucker's Rock at all costs, as it has not been properly sterilized"

BTS from D: The opening shot of Season 6 was created by shooting players moving in different quadrants and combining the shots"

Important events at High Ground, "Washington killed Agent south in cold blood- with a much less cold flamethrower."

Fact from D: "Once a year, Reds and Blues stationed at Rat's Nest still pay tribute to Agent Alabama by sending a flaming mongoose soaring through the night sky."

Donut likes to spend his leisure time in Federal Army Outpost 37, in the jail cells in handcuffs

The statistics pages, 9 pages of stats from number of robots murdered (112) to Church's sniper rifle accuracy (9.3%)

Bow Chicka Bow Wow was first said in season 4, and Simmons never sucked up in season 12, season one had the most "son of a bitch"s at 14 Donut made 32 accidental innuendos, and the odd number of pedals in vehicles was called out on five occasions Tucker has the highest kill count of all reds and blues (counting wash and Tex), at 24 followed by donut at 22 and Tex at 21, Caboose is the lowest at 2 raised by Lopez and 3 and Church at 8 Sarge has threatened/wished death on Grif 56 times, and Donut has nearly died five times Seasons 2 and 9 had the lowest kill counts Carolina had the highest flash back kills at 68 in season ten, and the twins are tied at 23 kills in season nine

Tex's attack to free Alpha was 2 years before Blood Gulch, the great war ended 1 year after Alpha arrived in Blood Gulch and after the Wyoming incident in Blood Gulch (where they tried to kidnap junior), Chorus takes place 5 years after Alpha initially arrived in Blood Gulch

The mission books has adorable illustrations (they look like Caboose's guides from s14)

There's a mindmap for all the Leonard and Allison iterations and they they connect

Sarge has a guide on how to build a robot, scented lube is preferred, along with mad scientist goggles, a cup of baking soda, and seventeen tablespoons of sugar

More silly plans with fun diagrams

Donut's diary, D tells us that Donut washes his underwear on tuesday's

Caboose's Wisdom section on: feelings, relationships, army etiquette (including gems like crayons don't work as bullets. Use markers.), life, and the reds and blues

Simmons made a text based adventure games

BTS from D, the story of Simmons refusing to go to the Vegas Quadrant is a reference to Gus Sorola (Simmons' VA) refusing to go to Las Vegas with the rest of the rvb creators

You can find the case against Sergeant Grif from the reds at rat's Nest (he was selling red team's ammo to Caboose before he was locked up in the brig, Private Jones wore a wire tap to help the red's catch Grif's under the table dealings)

Leonard met Allison in the mess hall during basic training where he pissed off another recruit and Allison had to save his ass (Church was right, Carolina get's her temper from her mom)

I'm Church. private Church. Leonard. Leonard Church." the only thing I cared about in that moment was that she knew my name. She smiled. Her smile could light up solar systems. "Kind of a funny name. Church." "It's Jewish."

I spent the rest of basic chasing after her. In some ways, I never stopped.

Here's hoping non of our beloved idiots die in season 19! I mean, I know Church will be gone, but the others... they deserve a happy ending.

Also I miss the freelancers and AI...

[kronosveritas]

I’ve always loved Agent North Dakota, but my fondness for him is only becoming stronger the more I think about him.

(Quick break from my regularly scheduled Tuckington bullshit but I just have to get this out there. I apologize in advance if any is wrong, this is just a collection of my thoughts on North. More art coming soon)

Because, hear me out. North was assigned Theta as his ai due to his kind and nurturing nature as a person. When theta can’t sleep instead of “pulling him” (taking him offline) North stays up late with him, sometimes walking the halls of the Mother of Invention while talking to him to help him fall asleep. If that doesn’t work, you know he stays up with him all night. ALL NIGHT.

This already seems incredibly selfless and kindhearted, but it’s actually even more selfless than you’d think, because the agents are shown to almost all be quite scared of the Director, including North. The Director is also shown on multiple occasions to not care about the AIs feelings (which isn’t surprising, considering how he treats the Alpha). North stays up with Theta because he wants to be there for him, and make him feel better, but this is actually incredibly risky because it means that any training he has to do the next day he will be doing without having rested at all, and FILSS (the project freelancer onboard computer system) has been proven to be able to track even the slightest difference in reaction time and other factors during training (think of that scene when Carolina was training martial arts with the holo targets over and over again) that would inevitably be impacted by not sleeping at all, so this means North probably has to push himself ridiculously hard just so he doesn’t fall behind in stats, regardless of how crazy exhausted he probably is.

Even so, if he’s missed enough sleep I bet there have been times that his stats for that day’s training dipped slightly and the Director probably yelled at him and criticized/berated him for who knows how long. And North wouldn’t have been able to offer any sort of explanation in his own defense because he knows that if the Director found out what was going on he would most likely order him to pull theta on the nights where he can’t sleep, which North had previously told York makes theta even more scared.

In addition to this, he may actually be one of the smartest of all the freelancers, or at least the most perceptive/best judge of character. Why? Because he started to figured out what was going on with Project Freelancer before almost ANY of the other agents did. Correct me if I’m wrong, I haven’t watched these seasons in a while unfortunately, but he/York were the first ones out of all of them to figure out that the Director was lying to them about the “insurrectionists”, the first to suspect that the Alpha was being tortured, and the first one to question whether Project Freelancer were actually the good guys.

I bet that’s part of the reason that North was trained to be a sniper. I mean, yes. He was probably chosen for the sniper specialist position in Freelancer due to his incredible natural/pre established skill at the ability from his regular military duty too, but most likely a lot of his sniper training was DONE at Project Freelancer. I bet this is because the Director wanted him to be an agent due to his incredible combat sense and sharpshooting ability, as well as the fact that he had a twin who was also being recruited (and the Director is a sick son of a bitch, so he wanted to do his experiment about driving one of them crazy, which as we know ended with north being killed), but he still feared North’s natural intuition and compassion, as well as his moral compass, which were much more in tact than that of some of the other freelancers (Maine or Carolina for example), and he wasn’t really holding something over him to bait/keep him there like he sort of did with Wash (based on the guidebook). Initially, yes, North fell for the Director’s bullshit and thought that the Freelancers were the good guys, but even though he probably had fewer direct interactions with any of their enemies than ANY of the other top agents since he was a sniper and a stealth operative, he STILL was one of the first to figure out what was going on. Because he’s likely smarter than many of the others, and he’s a good person- and that’s what the Director forgot to take into account when trying to completely brainwash his agents (and almost succeeding).

ALSO, I mean, come on. The guy can DUEL WIELD SNIPER RIFLES WITH PINPOINT ACCURACY. In season 10 episode 19 (I think?) when he, Tex, and York are breaking into the Mother of Invention and trying to free the Alpha, he shoots SEVEN rockets out of the air that were fired by a LAU-65D/SGM-151 missile pod, meaning that upon being fired all the missiles fly into the air in crazy, unpredictable curving directions before converging on their target with heat seeking accuracy (so, aka- they aren’t just traveling in straight lines, their movement is random at speeds in we can safely assume are at LEAST excess of 100mph, because according to most statistics I can find on the internet, average rocket launchers shoot projectiles at around 294 meters per second (657.659 miles per hour), though we can assume these ones are slower than that based on eyesight, but still probably above the 100mph mark. And he shoots all the missiles in the span of only a couple of seconds before they can hit Tex, their mark.

This is while he is DUEL WIELDING sniper rifles! So not only is his accuracy INSANE, his reaction time is arguably even BETTER.

And the missiles he hit were not only traveling incredibly fast, but aren’t even large targets, or moving in straight paths, and he manages to destroy them all before they find their mark. BECAUSE he’s using two sniper rifles as well, I feel the need to point out that he also can’t use the scope on either one of them, so his accuracy to hit SEVEN targets traveling in RANDOM patterns, THAT FAST, is all just with his eyes, not any sort of scope or ironsight. Of course, it’s assumed that Theta is helping him to some extent somehow, but like, Theta doesn’t control his movements/aim or anything, and doesn’t increase his reaction time. Also, we at least know he verbally didn’t have time to ask Theta to do too much to help him before those missiles were fired since it happened so ridiculously fast.

CONCLUSION/TLDR: god DAMN he’s good.

[grifpaw]

it is my opinion that simmons has been poorly written for most of his screentime after burnie stopped being the writer for the series. like, simmons does not do anything notable for the entirety of the chorus trilogy. you could say he had some semblance of a character arc but his so-called character development was stuff that was already handled in previous seasons. for one, it had Already Been Established for Years that simmons doesn't suck up as much anymore. don't even get me started on the whole can't-talk-to-girls thing. the only previous mention of anything similar was a single line where he expresses mild discomfort after tex and filss try to involve him in their argument (pretty reasonable actually). my point is they did NOT need to double down on that so hard. it's not that funny and it's just not really in character for him. and just, overall his personality is so watered down now. he's about 80% less bitchy and i don't like it. i actually see it as an integral part of his character that he's a little cocky and self-absorbed but i guess nobody cares about that anymore. so in conclusion i like chorus but i like simmons even more and i feel personally offended that he is so out of character. anyway that was today's unhinged rant thanks everyone.

[january-summers]

There’s several fics I’ve read where Wash’s family thinks he’s dead because PFL lies about the agents when they join and send death certificates to their families or whatever.

Consider: that’s the SOP, and FILSS has that shit automated.

Director gets his daughter’s notice of death while Carolina is standing right in front of him.