#fic: isn't it strange?
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kaizsche · 2 years ago
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isn't it strange?
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“You love me.” Elijah surmises.
“You hurt me, Elijah.” Her upper lip curls in a snarl.
Something inside him twists forward, to gather her in his arms, to pull her close to him. Like a forgotten memory, or perhaps a force of habit Elijah would never get to remember. To feel.
“You hurt me, Elijah!” Elena shouts again and again and again and Elijah desperately seeks her body curled tight against him again and again and again as well.
He makes a mistake.
“But I can’t remember that, Elena. Make me remember.” He beseeches, knees drawn on the ground. “I beg of you, make me remember everything.”
Hoping he might have a better understanding of what he did to her so that he may be absolved of his sins. She shakes her head violently that he can hear the air around her face startle from the sudden movement. “No, Elijah. Don’t. Don’t make me do that.”
“But how could I ever—”
“Just be like this.” She murmurs now, gazing upon him as if it is the last time he’ll see her. “Be a stranger for me, Elijah.”
from strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and strangers again. - CELESTE
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majoris · 8 months ago
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hi i feel 100% normal about this scene
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feroluce · 10 months ago
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Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.
Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks
Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.
And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.
So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.
He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.
Caelus doesn't have any of that.
He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.
And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.
So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-
("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")
-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.
Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.
(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)
((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."
And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.
And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.
The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))
#caelus#sampo koski#hsr caelus#hsr sampo#sampo & caelus#honkai star rail#hsr#my fics#me a few days ago: my favorite silly little guys uwu#me today: ANGST#honestly I feel like this isn't even a super strong angst though#it's more just. bittersweet? melancholic? something.#I JUST. REALLY LOVE STORIES ABOUT THE NATURE OF GRIEF#and 2.0 laid the groundwork for that beautifully woohoo#I just remembered this probably isn't common knowledge oops but April is the cute red haired girl in Funny Bone#her name was revealed by the creators on twitter. she's named April like April Fools!#anyway I ship it hardcore now thanks bucket boi & studio#but anyway yes I love and adore the loneliness of the trailblazer's loss and grief after 2.0#because we know from Sunday that Firefly is “spiritually dead” but the trailblazer wouldn't have that knowledge#and they wouldn't know her identity or about any of her connections to other people#and I love that juxtaposed against Sampo and the possible strange nature of his own grief-#-given how the Masked Fools operate and how they see Elation in everything and everywhere#Sampo is no saint- like at all lol- but I do like him and Caelus getting along and being bros#and I don't think it would be terribly ooc for him to care about someone he sees as a genuine friend#he maybe rarely considers someone a genuine friend. but still dmxjjdjdk#listening to Sam's boss theme as I tag this... have been listening to it a lot ever since I finished 2.0 tbh#it's probably what inspired a lot of this haha#because it does sound strong and intimidating and imposing#but you can hear it#the heartbreak
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maydaydiaz · 2 months ago
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the policing of fics in this fandom is insane like what do you mean you're complaining about things you get FOR FREE
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rainboq · 1 year ago
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@blusthings did some fanart for an unreleased chapter of my fic Arcadia is Burning as a birthday gift, thank you so much Blu!
[Image ID: Rachel is sitting on a starwell, with a bottle of liquor on the steps next to her, she is wearing red flannel, a print t-shirt, and torn skinny jeans. Chloe is crouching in front of her, applying an alcohol soaked pad to Rachel's skinned knee. Chloe has a smirk on her face and asks Rachel "So what, you thought you could do a kickflip and I'd like you or something?" Rachel blushes slightly, smiling and brushing back a lock of her hair as she asks "Did it work?" Chloe blushes in response.]
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sisterdivinium · 5 months ago
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Now is the time to place your bets on whether or not this hyper self-indulgent doctor superion Vampire the Masquerade AU fic will or won't get to 100 handwritten pages...
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popcorn-plots · 1 month ago
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guys I did a thing
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sobeautifullyobsessed · 5 months ago
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Just watched No Way Home, and it got me to wondering...
After working that huge memory spell to make Peter be completely forgotten, did Strange have to sleep for like 3 days straight or something? 'Cuz that had to expend a tremendous amount of energy and surely he would need to seriously recharge his magical batteries.
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satelliteinasupernova · 1 year ago
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Rewatching the final episode now recognizing that the Jughead walking along side Betty in the finale is writer!Jughead, who just wants to make sure Betty is happy and fulfilled with the ending that he wrote for her... Sorry to everyone who was frustrated with the finale centering around Betty, but RAS wrote that episode framing just for me.
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nostalgia-tblr · 2 months ago
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i am reading a book and i am not 100% sure but i think alison weir has misinterpreted what a 'precontract' is?
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dollyboned · 1 year ago
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i made an ao3 account! english isn't my first language (and it probably shows) but i will try on translating every longfic im planning to wattpad. sophfearsteens on both if you're able to read brazilian portuguese or is trying to learn!! i promise my grammatical errors are almost nonexistent and if happens to occur it's probably because portuguese is so damn hard and confuse that i cried over the 4 ways we've of saying "why/what" when i was 9 <3
kisses, love ya!
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rotisseries · 2 years ago
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this year, I kept a reading log spreadsheet of all of the fanfiction I read. so, assuming I don't read anything else in these last few hours of 2022, these are my final stats. here is my ao3 wrapped!
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i read 496 fics this year. these are surely rookie numbers 😃 (this picture isn't even the entire spreadsheet)
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my total words read in fanfiction this year is 6,227,818. 6. million. and 22 thousand. words. 24 of these fics, or about 5% of the fics read, were of a length equivalent to that of a standard fiction novel, which is a length of 40,000 words at the lowest average count. I feel like it's necessary to state here that, whenever I read incomplete fics, I put their current word count, but when the fics updated, I did NOT update the listings, so this number is an estimate
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my no.1 fandom this year was stranger things! at 74% and 441 fics read, a surprise to no one. the runners up are the legend of zelda, in no.2, with 24 fics and 11% of my reading, and avatar the last airbender, in no.3, with 18 fics and 8% of the stuff I read!
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my no.1 pairing this year was byler, with 57% at a count of 289 fics read! again, a surprise to no one! runners up are, no.2, ronance, with 67 fics and about 14% of the fics I read, and no.3, steddie, with 58 fics and 12% of the stuff I read
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my highest month for fanfiction reading was july! of the 496 fics I read this year, 162 of them were read in july, which is about 33%.
468 of the fics I read this year were completed when I read them, which is about 94%.
the author I read the most from was @andiwriteordie, with 34 fics, which is about 7% of the fics read. tbf though, this is because she's insane and wrote a LOT of stuff this year.
409 of the fics I read this year, or 82%, were oneshots.
and those are my ao3 reading habits for this year! I'm thinking that maybe I'll track some tags and other stuff for 2023
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longagoitwastuesday · 9 days ago
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Found Gojo/Ijichi art. All is good in the world
#The chokehold they have on me is unexpected lol#I was thinking just a few days ago that Gojo/Utahime was growing on me in earnest beyond the art and fics#even though it definitely came from that with how looking for Utahime stuff almost necessarily takes you to Gojo#But yeah Ijichi/Gojo still are it for me here haha I felt like a genoma soldier in mgs when I saw the art. Could feel the ! pop over my head#I could have done a silly little dance#I don't know. It wasn't even romantic truly? Or not explicitly? I love when art does that. For some reason it moves me so much#There's this comic in which Utahime Shoko and Ijichi all feel Gojo's absence through the silence he left behind#instead of being his annoying self asking for sweet or teasing or joking around and it left such a big impression on me#And there's another one in which Utahime is doing just something work related and suddenly she notices how quiet it is#How strange the silence#Smiles softly because it's comfortable. Because it's better. But it doesn't feel better. It doesn't feel good.#Her smiling face and tilting head thinking 'Oh. It's so quiet. How strange' doesn't feel positive at all and that too isn't exactly ship art#but it too moved me to the bone and left a big impression on me#Ship related art with Gojo as one of the parties I love when they include Geto's absence somewhat. There's one in which Gojo's talking#with Geto and iirc Geto teases him about how he doesn't look happy at all about finally getting Utahime to agree to a date with him#and Gojo makes some comment about how it's all for nothing because there's an uncrossable line between them. A separation#That they're bound to break up or something so it's not truly worth it to make the connection#And then you can see Gojo is actually alone and Geto was never there. He just knew him so well he could make up what he would have said#And damn was that good#Same with that one first fic I read back in June. It was Gojo/Utahime but it was in great part about Geto's abandonment of Gojo and Shoko#It started and ended that way#And it drove me nuts haha so good#Anyway... I don't know. I love when artista exploit that aspect of the characters mourning Gojo in their daily routines#Ijichi checking if there's still sweets in the car. Shoko double checking some rooms. Utahime musing about how quiet it is without him#It feels so... so true to life. How it never ends. How at times memory plays tricks on you and for one instant you almost forget#You almost expect the other person to appear. And then the absence feels bigger and unbearable again#Like living it all over again#Oh it's true. I don't need to keep sweets in the car anymore#It's true. He won't ever be in this room again nor will he ever be the one opening the morge's door#He won't be making noise or interrupting me anymore. I can't even say it's bothersome yet it is. What do I do with this silence I have left?
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4b-rey · 1 month ago
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Good news everyone! You can read the entire fic here:
I'm so glad that this important part of Tumblr history has been preserved for posterity.
That hiv Hamilton fanfic called "to scale the blue sky"
Found via somethingawfulforums archives
Apologise for the lack of chapters, this is all that was archived. I copied and uploaded everything I could find of the original story.
This is the description and tags used on the original ao3 page archived on Oct 26, 2017. Please proceed with caution due to themes of sexual assault, r*pe, date r*pe, drug use and racism.
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If you would rather listen to a description of the story I recommend listening to the podcast episode "Hamilton, HIVLiving and MikuBinder- Representation at cost" by Author's Note: Don't Like, Don't Listen on Spotify (YouTube version)
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malachitezmeyka · 7 months ago
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Since I posted my mermaid AU fic 38-ish hours ago I received three comments on it from people I don't know and I honestly have no idea how to react to it
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gravegoer · 16 days ago
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What if we get like an internal monologue of just how much Sevika is into you? Like if it’s her first day as counselor and she sees you walking around the halls helping out as an assistant. She can’t help but think reader is so damn cute! Maybe even reader flirts a little from afar <3
Pretty Piltie ⋆˚✿
thank you anon, and yes i love this, this is very cute ! i went a little different for some plot but i hope you like it :) i also have a few more pirate sevika fics coming out so look out for those ! coming sometime this week :) masterlist
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After her first day on the council, she saw you in the hallway, walking around with your clipboard in your face. (Definitely in a hurry)
She raised an eyebrow at the pep in your step and the carelessness of you flipping through pages while walking. Before she could even move to the side, you bumped into her.
"I'm so sorry," You looked up at her with an embarrassed look on your face, "I thought the halls would be empty."
She couldn't even get a word out before your eyes widened, "Shit. The meeting is over, isn't it?"
You scurried to the doors she just came from, and she almost laughed at your actions. Even after the exasperating meeting she had a smile graced her lips.
Well, I could get used to that.
When she got home, her mind flashed back to the girl she encountered in the hallway, furrowing her brows. She tried to rid of the image. Maybe she was just thinking about it because it's the only exciting thing that occurred today. Yeah, that's it.
The next week, she had to come back for a second meeting, this time staying back longer to discuss things in finer details. A couple of councilors have already up and left as it was getting late.
After a few minutes, she saw you walk in with one of the council members. You had a nervous smile on your face while the older woman spoke to you.
Sevika let out a snort at your expression, finding it to be oddly cute but containing herself moments later. Although she couldn't stop eyeing you when you stood behind the councilors chair just across from her.
You were scrawling out things on your clipboard while the grey-haired woman in front of you spoke. Sevika was only half listening as her eyes bored into your face, taking in all your features.
I mean, who knew Piltover had princesses like this.
Suddenly, you looked up to make eye contact with Sevika, her brows 5 she averted eye contact to look at the woman in front of you.
She saw your smile from the corner of her vision when she looked away. Fuck.
It seemed like every time you looked away she stared back at you, she didn't come here to eye-fuck her co-workers assistant but damn.
She watched the way you tilted your head when hearing something strange, or raised your eyebrows at something controversial, bending over to whisper something in the ear of your boss.
All in all she was definitely lost in thought when someone called her name, "Sevika!"
She looked over at the woman beside her who spoke, "Shall I repeat myself? I say, what are your thoughts on this matter?"
Sevika blanked. She racked her brain for an answer but the only one it was coming up with was the curve of your smile and the hue of your eyes.
She saw your surprised face and you mouthed something to her, "Say you agree."
She coughed into her fist before speaking, "I suppose that's fine."
The others looked at her suspiciously but carried on nonetheless. Throughout the rest of the meeting she made sure to pay close attention, so that she wouldn't slip up Infront of her co-workers again.
When the meeting was dismissed she was the last to leave, running her hand down her face in a way to ease her mind. She took a deep breath before stepping into the hall.
She was greeted with the sight of you talking to a few advisors, taking notes, and handing out papers. She found it endearing the way you bounced from person to person, engaging in conversation.
It seemed like you were taking peoples opinions for your survey. This was her chance to redeem herself. (She's embarrassed you had to help her earlier.
After speaking with an unfamiliar lanky man, you turned around and locked eyes with Sevika once again.
You waved at her, flashing her a cute grin. But before you could take a step towards her, your boss was calling her away.
Immediately, you deadpanned and pulled your lips into an exaggerated frown. Sevika smirked at your expressions and flicked her hand teasingly in a shoo, motion.
She would most definetly be seeing you again.
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i know this is a bit shorter than my usual, spare me
im also having major writers block and i have 20+ asks so 🙏 let me cook here, i also have many projects i want to get to
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