#writer!Jughead is MY jughead

[satelliteinasupernova]

Rewatching the final episode now recognizing that the Jughead walking along side Betty in the finale is writer!Jughead, who just wants to make sure Betty is happy and fulfilled with the ending that he wrote for her... Sorry to everyone who was frustrated with the finale centering around Betty, but RAS wrote that episode framing just for me.

[sumeria]

the pontifications of forsythe pendleton jones iii

[arsenicpanda]

Riverdale season 7 should have been about Tabitha going through different timelines, maybe with Jughead as her assistant (very Jughead’s Time Police), as she tries to untangle things, and as she does, she takes everyone with her through various decades of Archie Comics, not just the 50s

[theresidentstorian]

[sumquiasum]

Riverdale as fall out boy lyrics?

I read Riverdale characters as FoB lyrics even though the original prompt would have allowed me to include some lyrics I kicked because it was more ships than characters. Oh well!

From Under the Cork Tree + Riverdale characters

Archie

Veronica

Jughead (writer/narrator)

Jughead (character)

Betty

Kevin

Cheryl

Hiram

Jason

Bonus: Riverdale thesis statement

[crazymisscarly]

The Exoneration Update

I am FINALLY writing again! Thank you for everyone messaging me with your enthusiasm because it really does encourage me to keep going :D

Chapter 9 - Adjusting

Jughead is struggling to adjust to life outside of prison. Luckily, he has a high tech fridge and a five year old to help him out.

Read it from the beginning here.

[thestanhoe]

Is this some type of sick JOKE? I come crawling back for inspiration and jeronica are KISSING ??? and I have literally no idea what's going on ??

[izzysamosriverdale]

Barchies, just take your karmic L

Hey - Ted, Evan, Delusional BA Troll, slowburns, BarChonis, fake Jabithas, BA-slobbering hack journalists, etc. - RAS said NO! JUGHEAD was Betty's Angel, NOT Archie! Bughead are confirmed soulmates. Cry harder.

[supergleedalequeen]

you’re a jughead fan, stfu you pretentious asshole

Oh no are you going to cry until your tears turn to crystal chandeliers that crash down on the party of your son's evil wife and kills your cheating husband while you stand at the altar chanting with your coven or whatever Taylor Swift writes from her mansion

[godheadjones]

Three Times Tabitha Tate Went on a Fake Date (And One Time She Went on a Real One)

She pats his hand, just slightly, but it doesn’t go unnoticed, as Jughead raises his eyebrows at her. Another moment passes, the jukebox playing softly. “Sounds great, Tabitha. Get ready for my Jones charm.”

“You mean for me to be completely repulsed by it?” she jokes. “We’ve been friends for some time now. I’m pretty sure I’m immune to anything you could possibly bring to the table.” 

She’s lying, of course, but not that Jughead’s aware. He only itches the space between his lips and his nose, with a teasing smirk plastered on his face. “That is an absolutely brutal way to turn a guy down, Tabs.” 

---

read on ao3

fandom: riverdale

ship: jughead x tabitha (jabitha)

taglist: @jabithajates @jabitha-endgame @sapphicserpentqueen @imreallytryinghelp (ask to be added or removed)

[lovelaceisntdead]

Jughead paradox episode of all time. Here's to vughead becoming canon.

[jabitha-endgame]

just caught last’s night episode and haha I’m gonna pretend I didn’t

[mean-vampyre]

Supernatural episodes are so boring yet so insane because they will be like hey another bad guy to kill with guns but also how can we make dean look sad and get even more family trauma? well how about dean is sent back in time by the gay angle who gripped him tight and raised him from perdition to meet his dad before he became a bad father (he went to war but that wasn't bad enough to make him an angry guy) and tell him to buy the car that will later on become and accessory to his masculinity and gender expression, and meets his mom when she was young (and shes hot holy smokes) and the grandparents that he didn't knew existed to the point of not knowing he and his brother are named after them (he has the woman name, don't even imply that that means anything beyond funny gay joke) and also finds out that the seasons 1-3 canon that his dad found out about the supernatural and became a hunter after his mom died a supernatural death is not true because his mom was actually the original hunter AND she wanted out because that's not a good life for the family she wanted to have yet you can never break the cycle because his dad ended up neglecting them and forcing them to become hunters and the reason why his mom died in the first place is because she made a deal with the bad guy to save his dad, and the end of the episode is well dean we had to put you in a traumatic situation without any warning to figure out why the bad guy is bad, you know how the job is anyway carry on wayward son!!!

[misfortunegirl]

anyone who is inlove with me 👉👈

[wolfofansbach]

BEING A LIST OF THE THIRTEEN GREATEST RIVERDALE LINES, ON THE OCCASION OF THAT SHOW'S TERMINATION

As our much loved/hated show comes to an end, I feel compelled to record, for posterity, the greatest thirteen pieces of dialogue to spring from the pens of RAS and his henchmen. It was, of course, originally a top ten list, but I simply could not exclude a few of these treasures. Without further ado: 

13. 

“I dropped out in the 4th grade, to sell drugs, to support my nana.” 

“That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.” 

Spoken by: an inmate of Leopold and Loeb Juvenile Detention Center, and Archie Andrews. 

In: 3 x 2 

Yeah, okay, this one had to be on the list. It’s funny, I’ll admit. It’s a great example of the overwrought semi-sincere melodrama that helped make this show so special. It’s low on the list largely because The Normies got their hands on it, so every time I hear someone make a reference I get all “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch.” 

12. 

“No! No! What are we supposed to do now? I’m horny as heck!”

Spoken by: Archie Andrews 

In: 7 x 16

Season 7 is undeniably dreadful, and yet there are diamonds in the rough. The occasion is the failure of a projector, just as Archie and Reggie prepare to watch a pornographic film. The utter desperation with which KJ Apa delivers this line is exquisite. One is made to feel they are witnessing a genuine tragedy. 

11. 

“Tonight, they’re making an exception and debuting a cover of the song my parents claim they were listening to the night Jason and I were conceived.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom. 

In: 1 x 1 

Really a fantastic line. A wonderful encapsulation of the casual absurdity of Cheryl’s character, and a foretaste of the lunacy we would plumb in later episodes and seasons. 

10. 

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones

In: 1 x 10

A genuine classic. “High school football” before “high school football.” One is never entirely sure just how sincere the line is meant to be, both on a meta-level and in-universe. A perfect illumination of Jughead’s pretentiousness. It is made all the better by the occasional cuts to Lili Reinhard’s agonized face. 

9. 

“At the last dance, multiple students were murdered.” 

Spoken by: Principal Holden Honey. 

In: 4 x 2

Delivered as an explanation to Toni and Cheryl, as to why there would be no school dance this year. Principal Honey is in fact supremely rational in the cancellation of this dance. This being Riverdale, he is of course treated as an unreasonable tyrant. 

8. 

“Bro, I know all the secrets of this universe.” 

Spoken by: Archie Andrews (evil version)

In: 6 x 5 

Spoken as evil Archie reveals his evil plan to keep the parallel universes apart. KJ Apa’s delivery once again makes this line. He is comically sinister. Strangely, he sells it. 

7. 

“A Vughead kiss, right now, in the present might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones. 

In: 2 x 14

One of those lines that both makes me laugh and makes me genuinely angry. This was a fairly early season, and this may have actually been the first line to get me asking, ‘did they genuinely write and deliver that?’ Extra points for use of the atrocious ‘Vughead’ portmanteau ship name rather than ‘Jeronica.’ 

6. 

“I’m the ultimate wild card. I am the daughter of The Black Hood. The nightmare from next door. I’m training with the FBI and I’m coming for you, you psycho bitch.” 

Spoken by: Betty Cooper

In: 4 x 14 

Just delicious. Another one of those lines that leaves you somewhat unsure whether or not the writers understood how genuinely hysterical it was. “The Nightmare from Next Door” sounds like an announcer hyping up a wrestler. Spoken with a raw sincerity by Lili Reinhart. Also points for the heavy homoeroticism between Betty and Donna. 

5. 

“For I am Cheryl Blossom, Queen of the Bees.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.

In: 5 x 16. 

This one really doesn’t require any elaboration. 

4. 

“Elijah ascended…and I will, too.” 

Spoken by: Edgar Evernever.

In: 4 x 5. 

Admittedly, this one is only spectacular with context. But in context—the context being that Chad Michael Murray delivers this line while dressed like Evel Knievel and standing in a cartoon rocket right out of a Warner Bros cartoon—it becomes utterly magnificent. 

3. 

“It’s not queer baiting, it’s saving the world.” 

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 6 x 22. 

It’s actually hard for me to decide whether this one is funnier with or without context. Without context it’s wonderful, but it possibly becomes even funnier when you know that the context is that Veronica needs to kiss Cheryl to transfer superpowers into her body so she can turn into a Scarlet Witch knock-off and stop a magic comet summoned by Sephiroth an English wizard who is also the Devil. 

2. 

“If there’s no wedding reception, it means the Gargoyle King has won.” 

Spoken by: Kevin Keller. 

In: 3 x 12.

One of my personal favorites. This is a perfect line because like #3, it requires no real elaboration. There is absolutely no context in which it isn’t hysterical. 

1 .

“Word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance has seeped into the demimonde of mobsters and molls my father used to associate with, so the five families are sending their youngest and brightest, their ‘princes,’ as it were to, well, come court the rare Mafia Princess who can belly up to the bar with the big boys.

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 2 x 20. 

This is, in my opinion, the all-timer. Every word is perfect. The rapid-fire alliteration. The use of the word ‘demimonde.’ The entirely unnecessary addition of ‘as it were.’ This is borderline Dr. Seuss. The fact that Camila Mendes delivered it without cracking a smile should have won her an Emmy. No. An Oscar. This line is Riverdale. 

[wallbeatjournal]

say 9 mean things about jughead.

maaaaaaaan.

bad writer: bad prose

bad writer: bad ideas (i was gonna make a list but i've decided to summarize it as "incel vibes")

closet case

bad reader. really bad takes on moby dick oh my god. i would have planned his murder too

betty and veronica are both arguably better-read than him btw

closet case

ARCHIE MISUNDERSTANDER

ruined the serpents. that trajectory. from biker gang to G&G club to cops......that time he got his tattoo flayed off deserved actually

small dick. subtextual BUT canonical. we all saw that little switchblade you were swiping around all s2 in the season of cock and hole cliques (sorry. "serpents" and "red circles")

but don't say any of this to his face please. when you're mean to him you're literally being hateful to this little guy and how dare you: