#fic: be good to me (i beg of him)

[braceletofteeth]

Strangers From Hell Incorrect Quotes [13/?]

insp.

[scrambledslut]

WHAT IS WITH THESE HOMOSEXUALS REFUSING TO RUN AWAY WITH THE LOVE OF THEIR LIVES

[dollypopup]

Not a question per say but I thought this was an interesting Reddit post and I know you've said similar stuff in the past (https://www.reddit.com/r/BridgertonRants/comments/1ibjy0z/do_some_polins_even_like_colin_bridgerton/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

Oh man, I was sick of the 'make Colin grovel/beg/suffer' nonsense all the way back in SEASON 2!!!!! It's a shame it continues to be all too prominent of a theme in Polin in general. (honestly, this is why I stopped reading and writing fics) but whoever the person who made that rant is, I wanna be friends with them! I feel like a lot of Colin fans have been outspoken about how unfairly he's treated in what should be his fandom, but because we're a minority in the fandom, we get pushed out by polin fans who just. . .don't like him? (Why they gravitate to this ship I will NEVER know) And the people talking about how 'Oh, they're not *really* Polin fans, they're Pen stans!' like. . .they're still the ones that went on Polin fics (including my own?) and talked about how Colin didn't deserve her? They still wrote so called 'Polin' fics with no pushback at all of Penelope abusing him and it being totally fine? They were all too happy to see Colin pushed to the wayside time and time again? Can't lay down with dogs and be surprised you have fleas in the morning, you know?

Like it's genuinely no surprise to me that Pen stans who hated Colin but still shipped Polin for the sake of Pen getting her prize became Nicola stans who hate Luke because they're mad that they didn't get together.

I miss the Polin that were *both* ride or die for each other in fandom. Since S2 I feel like it's just Pen being an OOC girlboss queen and Colin being her footstool in way too much of this fanbase. God forbid he have any emotion other than full fawning over her. smh

I think we go through cycles in the fandom. Maybe we're in a new era of people recognizing how toxic Polin is/was/can be and people are calling out how weird it is that the fanbase seemingly hates half the ship. But idk, I feel like this is just another person who will be pushed off to the side because though what they said was true, people just don't wanna hear it. I will always ALWAYS stand by the fact that people can write whatever they want and deserve respect in fandom. I avoid any of those fics because I try not to say negative things to or about creators. But sometimes I so badly want to be like 'if you read this from his perspective, is it a love story, or is it a tragedy?' and like. . .most of the time, from his POV in these stories, it's a tragedy. And there's really not a lot of variety (most of the stories that countered the typical 'colin begs and suffers and grovels and is called an idiot' narrative have left) so it's all there is. And you just can't help but come to the conclusion that this fandom just. . .doesn't like him.

Which sucks, he's fantastic. Polin deserves love stories where they're both treated well.

[veryunwellindividual]

i am… a neglectful mother

[veerbles]

very curious about public opinion

honestly we all know post ck kaz is putting his whole back into making the council's lives miserable until they stop slavery. but what about the 1/13 of them that is uhhhh maybe like his friend or something (don't ask him to admit this out loud. he won't)

[iced-souls]

RANDOM SMOKESCREEN THOUGHTS!!

More specifically transformers prime smokescreen.

I’ve been having transformers brain rot for a bit now, and i both hate and love smokescreen so i therefore have been getting more thoughts on him.

I unfortunately am not a fic writer, and dont draw TF all that often, which means I will never do something here with these random ideas. But i like the ideas so I’m just leaving them here to simply get them OUT THERE i guess. Alas i cannot keep them within any longer!!

Moving onto the actual thoughts for i have 3:

1. Smokescreen gets hit with prime beam right after Predacons rising movie.

This is a simple one but; You know how after Optimus dives the allspark into Primus, and all the light beams shoot out? And then one of the orbs swoops over to Team Prime, which is probably the light orb of Optimus? Then the orb takes a look at them all and charges into the screen, thus ending the film?

So I was thinking what if the Optimus light orb charges into smokescreen, to make him a prime. More specifically a very comedic crash that sends smokes flying ten feet back.

I just thought it’d be neat if after all his talks with bee to try convince himself that he isn’t meant to ever be a prime, he ends up becoming one anyways. Of course I also can imagine the scenario being with Bumblebee, but eyyy smokeyyyyy

2. Prowl joins Team Prime during the events of the show (Universe where he, Smokey, and Bluestreak are bros [of some sort?])

I don’t know much TF lore, but I’ve seen a lot of talk about prowl smokescreen and bluestreak(who i don’t really know who that is sorry), are brothers, maybe just real close buddies, cause they can look similar. BUT EITHER WAY i like the thought and so I think about

Got me thinking if a Autobot/Random Cybertronian ship crash lands on earth, and Team Prime meets Prowl. Who upon bringing back to base find out he and smokescreen already know each other, except the last time they heard from each other was before Smokescreen joined the Elite Guard, and prowl left a note on smokescreen and bluestreak doors simply saying “Adios Bros”. And then prowl was gone!!

They both figure Prowl probably had mission he wanted to complete like he usually does with his research and stuff, but the note felt rushed and weird, so they never knew if he was ok or not. Blue joins Elite Guard to receive a position where he can scout/patrol areas in order to hopefully find him, Smokes does the same. Blue doesn’t make it back home one mission, and smokes gets put far away from patrol/scout duty with Alpha Trion. But smokes is able to find out tiny pieces of prowls’ whereabouts using the hall of records. Unfortunately the only new info is of his departure, going to explore around the core of primus. [not sure about what he does there, maybe shockwave related stuff, maybe just research/scouting stuff] and the rest is history!

I also had in mind Prowl not liking the idea of joining the Elite guard. So with the flashback aside, Smokescreen notices the familiar image of prowl, ducks out of sight, patches up his shoulder symbols, aaaaaand punches prowl in the face!!!! Lots of hugs and happiness, mixed with fighting and anger!! Smokescreen knows more about earth then prowl aka the smarter brother, so he uses his earth knowledge to annoy prowl is a bonus thought. Prowl is stoic acts like he does not care, smokescreen sees otherwise from knowing him longer.

I’d like to think that prowl joining takes place before smokescreen gets kidnapped for the omega key, cause that could be the first time Team Prime sees prowl obviously show that he cares for his brother, plus smokescreen showing that he can take care of himself and isn’t a weak little brother like prowl was insisting he was by escaping the nemesis.

I enjoy family tropes what else can I say for this one-

3. The “decepticon warship” Smokescreen was on after his blackout, was actually Lockdown’s ship.

Same kinda lockdown from Transformers: Animated. The decepticon bounty hunter guy. And in my mind, in prime, no one has ever escaped his supervision before. Well except smokescreeen now.

We don’t really get tooo much info on Smokey’s time in captivity, like how long he was there for, or if anything else happened, or if there was guards. Mostly all we got is smokescreens word.

I figure after the big attack on smokescreens area, decepticons hired lockdown to assist in the transport of autobot survivors, or close to survivors. Maybe more important looking/seeming bots, extra cash for autobot info, take his time with his haul.

I feel like Lockdown wouldn’t appreciate some elite guard kid escaping through a pod to be his first escapee. SO PERCHANCE I DUNNO maybe he’s still keen on that not being the case, and keeps a bounty on Smokey.

Then either during the events of the show, or maybe after predacons rising thou i think show could be better, they get a reunion!!! Yayy!!! More Smokey showing off to team prime, and more Smokey lore!!

And that’s it! Do with this what you will, all I care is that I now have a weight of my mind..

[jtownraindancer]

didn't think it was possible, but finally found a Peter Krause character I absolutely cannot stand

get this bitch some therapy

[necrotic-nephilim]

6,23

for the choose violence ask game!

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

oooh, this is hard. generally any sort of "fans of this thing are annoying" for me comes with the caveat that i don't think it's *all* fans and i don't even think it's most fans, but rather a loud minority that has shaped the ship as a whole. for some reason JayRoy tends to come to mind the most, because i've been slowly dipping my toes into the Arrowfamily and i cannot *stand* any JayRoy opinions on Oliver's parenting. i think JayRoy can be blamed for a *lot* of the misunderstandings some fans have about Oliver and Roy's relationship, as well as the existence of the Arrowfam in the first place beyond just Oliver, Roy, Dinah, and inexplicably Artemis Crock, bc Young Justice (tv) will never stop leaving its mark.

any time someone gets shipped with a Batfam member, their entire fandom presence surrounds the Batfamily and headcanons are all about Bruce adopting them too and them just being another face in Wayne Manor. and for whatever reason, Roy is one of the worst victims of this. so much JayRoy content doesn't even care to acknowledge Roy's bonds with the Arrowfam, his *daughter*, his complex relationship with Chesire, his relationship with the Titans and the Outsiders, and so forth. he's just Jason's rescue boyfriend. if i have to see one more JayRoy fan act like Bruce needs to save Roy from Oliver and they badly cite Snowbirds Don't Fly, i might lose it.

i think this could also extend to TimKon as well, with a *lot* of TimKon fans not understanding Kon's relationship to the Superfamily and *grossly* demonizing Clark for the sake of Kon being Tim's rescue boyfriend. like the misunderstandings fanon has about Clark and Kon will never not infuriate me, and i *do* think TimKon carries a brunt of that blame bc it falls into the "Kon is another orphan that Bruce takes in" vibes.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

JayRose i think is a recent one! i used to dislike JayRose bc it felt underdeveloped and like slapping two characters with daddy issues together, but i've lately been more and more enticed by it bc of a beloved anon who has so many delightful JayTimRose thoughts. ironically i could also say JayRoyTim, bc initially it was not my speed but once again, some anons have begrudgingly convinced me, which is impressive bc i never thought i would come around to a ship involving JayRoy for all of the above reasons. i've also been coming around to BatJokes as of recent. i never hated BatJokes but it was certainly never For Me. lately though, that faith has been questioned and i've been interested in it.

the one i've been very unwilling to but have somehow gotten dragged into is JayTalia. i was always turned off by how that was handled in Lost Days and hated the pairing. but... i've been enticed by the dead dove potential of it. i'm being converted. to be fair i still think it was mishandled in Lost Days but... i'm sort of coming around to enjoying it for what it is. idk how i ended up here but i will take any excuse to whump Jason.

[twilight-deviant]

Hello dear! About your last DD post, YES GOD SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT, I fucking hate that take so much. And I saw one attached to the thought that Dex is looking at Matt to be his new “north star”. What?? The “north star” method was used by his psychiatrist to control him, it could never lead to him finding a path to redemption because Matt would definitely not hesitate to use it against him for his own purposes again, because as you said, he hates his guts, and wants nothing more than his downfall (pun not intended, oops). Matt can be ruthless to get what he wants, as per what happened to Julie, and in Fisk's case, he kept threatening to get to Vanessa too, which hey, it's pretty illegal according to law (and he has been doing it since season 2, in that prison scene! Where Vanessa still had no prior involvement in Fisk's criminal organization!).

So backing up what you said about counterarguments against this, I love my man Matt, he can be even more of an asshole to the ones he loves/cares about and I will still love him, and yet there's lots of stuff he shouldn't be defended about lol. It's perfect for what the og show wanted to accomplish.

I get that Wilson Bethel shines in the role and brings sympathy to a character who partly deserves it, every good villain needs that. Still, if Fisk won't be redeemed neither should he (never would want them to, they did all that shit and I love them for it). And Dex/Matt relationship in Born Again makes less sense to me if it's Dex mirroring himself in Matt and wants Matt to see that, to catch that glimpse of empathy. “In another life you might’ve defended me” it doesn't feel like Dex is hopeful Matt might “save him”, but rather he's speaking to Matt like he sees the Fisks in him.

In a perfect world, Born Again would acknowledge that, the fact Bullseye still feels like Matt is not sorry for his methods, about using Julie, instead of straight up jumping to him being a temporary ally. But oh well.

Damn, I'm so sorry for the long ramble! Feel free to ignore this lolo. Hope you have a nice day!

Hey rambling is nice sometimes, and my inbox is open for a reason. lol. ♥

Referencing [this post].

Matt is such an amazing main character (who sucks) because he breaks away from the formula of so many two-dimensional heroes to make some legitimately unhinged choices. Not only does he have extreme anger issues, but he does enjoy hurting people. He'll also get such tunnel vision, he sometimes makes cruel choices to serve the "just" conclusion. He's awful, just awful, to friends and loved ones. No one's doing it like him. If he killed, he'd be a bona fide antihero, and he pushes the envelope as much as he can without taking that final plunge. So yes, I love calling him out on the bad he does. Because it makes him interesting, and characters have to be interesting. It's their whole purpose.

The idea of Matt being Dex's north star... I mean, full disclaimer, I do believe people can/should do whatever fanon or fics they want. But there's that, yeah, and then there's canon. And I like a healthy understanding of which is which. Like how canonically there's no chance Matt purposefully helped Dex knock a tooth loose so he could kill people and escape, but if someone wants to write that fic, godspeed. I like evil Matt sometimes. (There's at least some justification for Matt winding him up in 3x13 because it helped get at Fisk. But Matt setting him loose in BA 1x08 and accepting the potential murders just because he felt sorry for him? The best friend murderer?) I don't think it was any more intentional than the comic with the same gimmick. Matt just likes hitting him. lol.

[Daredevil (2023) #4]

Anyway, north star. I don't know if you've watched Jessica Jones, but I'm reminded of the episode in S1 where Jessica makes Kilgrave do a good deed. Then he decides he'd like to do more of it, so long as Jessica is always by his side telling him what to do because he lacks all empathetic instincts to do it himself. She genuinely considers going through with it but decides she can't/won't and that he's too dangerous. That's what I imagine for Matt and Dex in such a scenario. Even if Matt could get Dex to do as he says and follow his examples, it puts an undue burden on Matt to constantly monitor his actions. (Like how in a fight together, Matt tries to ensure Frank doesn't kill anyone bad, but with Dex there's even more to fret over because he'll kill the bad and the good with little/no compunction.) Not to mention that Matt would be a horrible example to follow. Because he goes too far a lot of the time. It's only his own unique moral code that stops him from taking the final step. And Dex doesn't have that, so realistically, Matt would run himself ragged constantly keeping Dex from crossing the line. (If someone wants to imagine it anyway, that's great. Variety is the spice of life. But I can't see it working well, if at all, or longterm.) There also remains the real potential in such a scenario, as you say, for Matt manipulating Dex and using him to his own advantage. Because he already has.

What's more, it would undo the character development path Dex was on following DD S3. He was really coming into his own as Bullseye in the finale. It was good. Everyone was happy. Even BA 1x01 held up this trajectory. And then scenes from the last two eps of BA come along like they wanna reset him. 👎

I can't begin to know what bull-hockey BA has planned for S2, but I'd say sometimes a spade really is a spade. Matt isn't pretending to hate Dex. He genuinely hates Dex so so much. He has a mountain of reasons why and none for why not. Like even if Vanessa ordered Foggy's death, Dex still pulled the trigger. (And killed ten other people that night. Plus the mayhem of S3 and killing of Lantom.) I do ship DexMatt. I've shipped it since S3, mostly amidst the sound of crickets. But it's a hateful, spiteful, toxic thing. And I do believe if BA writes any sort of semi-redemption "enemy of my enemy" arc where Matt teams up with him for S2 (versus them attacking Fisk independently/simultaneously), they've lost the plot. They truly don't understand or care about Matt's character. They just want something that subverts expectation and looks cool.

And I will retreat to the sweet, sweet existing logic of Matt willing to work with Fisk (who even now in BA has given Matt less reasons to hate him than Dex) before he utterly draws the line at Bullseye. Because he hates him so much.

[Daredevil (1998) #86]

I'm aware these are different realities with different versions of the characters, but Earth-199999 gives zero evidence for and no reason why its Matt would feel warmer towards Dex than 616 Matt does towards Bullseye. What because of his documented mental health issues? Matt didn't care about that in S3 before Dex killed his friend. Why would he care now?

The above comic reaction is because Bullseye killed Karen on a job (unintentionally). Don't tell me he wouldn't feel just as strong when Dex killed Foggy on a job (intentionally). To say Matt can overlook it now is like saying he cares less about Foggy. (Also, if BA brings Foggy back just to ease Matt's conscience so he can work with Dex, I vote we chuck the whole reboot in the nearest bin. That would be such bad writing. You can't give yourself such a sloppy convenience. This is yet another reason they should have brought Foggy back in S1 if they were going to. That way they can demonstrate it's unrelated.)

If BA S2 wants to have Matt use Dex like a wrecking ball, just as he did in S3, maybe. If it's done well. But actually treating him like an ally would be so bad. Just bad. Rinse the taste out of my mouth bad. But it does seem like they want to siphon any humanity from Fisk's character (make a one-tone villain) and pump it into Dex (overly sympathized), so I also wouldn't put it past them. They seem to want a narrative of elevating Fisk's villainy past reason (there's that MCU too-much gene) to have a really united front against him (still trying to recreate Avengers 2012). Neither Fisk nor Dex deserve redemption, like you say. You know that one post that's like, "Free my man. He did all of it but I don't care," or whatever. I'm over here like, "Lock him up! Lock his a** up!" 📣 (On a personal level, I don't care. For fic or AU reasons, I'll break him out, but by all means, canon, hold my man accountable. 👏) All I want for Fisk is a little more of the pre-existing humanity BA stripped from him.

Anyway, yeah! Dex is who he is. Matt is who he is. I'm not gonna look away when I don't like it. Baby girl, I'll put a spotlight on it. Complex, human characters are the last stronghold against flat slop.

Thanks for the ask. (◕‿◕✿) Have a good one. ♥

[starseeker-tarazed]

Fairy Tail gang I need more fics of Natsu finding out his past earlier than in Canon. Like pre-tenrou and just after Tenrou like PLEASE. Fics where he always remembered or regains the memories I'm BEGGING

[hoshiina]

*looking right at my hoshina reqs and hyoga wips* I should write for kuroda yukinari.

[kayessbeebeebeee]

I need some Odinson family angst y’all. Pls give me some fic recs. Please.

[youlightmeupriorson]

Dick Grayson is such a slut.

That’s it. That’s the post.

He can be 🔛🔝 of me

(And until I find someone else, my fan cast has always been Steven R. McQueen for Dick 😩)

[candyriku]

finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)

[whysamwhy123]

So, I started writing a dumb crackfic about a bunch of my blorbos attempting to hit on my newest blorbo because it was funny in my head buuuuut turns out I'm not funny enough to bring it to life so I probably ain't gonna finish it. But I don't wanna feel like I completely wasted my time, so I'm just gonna drop the unfinished thing here because I can't seem to make myself continue it. It's a shame because I feel like it would have gotten a little better/funnier after I got the set-up out of the way, I had plans for where this would go, but alas, my brain has failed me yet again. And whatever, this most likely appeals to absolutely no one anyway, so here it is, read at your own risk because it sucks!

Jack was minding his own business before the show, wandering the halls while dicking around his phone, when he spotted Hook, just standing there.

‘’Hey man, what’s up?’’ he said, leaning against the nearest wall, still looking at his phone.

When no response came, Jack looked up. Hook was still as a statue, his eyes focused forward. Did he not hear him?

‘’Hello? Hook?’’

Jack got closer and slowly turned his head in the direction Hook was staring. ‘’What are you looki - whoa!’’

Jack almost dropped his phone when he first caught a glimpse of her. No wonder Hook was staring - she had to be the most beautiful woman he’d ever soon. She was fucking gorgeous. The kind of woman that’s so beautiful it feels like she shouldn’t be allowed to exist. Or that you shouldn’t be allowed to look at her, how dare you think yourself worthy! But she was real and she was right there all the way over on the other side of the hallway. She seemed to be checking how she looked in her phone’s camera, adjusting her long blonde hair and examining her makeup as though it wasn’t already perfect. She was perfect. She was wearing this all red ensemble that showed off just how killer her body was. And she was tall too. Long legs.

Jack’s mouth was agape. He knew it wasn’t polite to stare but how could he not?

‘’Jack, buddy,’’ Hook said, not taking his eyes off the beauty across the hall. ‘’I’ve found my next conquest.’’

Jack couldn’t take his eyes off her either. Who could blame them? ‘’Who is that?’’

Hook somehow managed to tear his eyes away from the vision they’ve been blessed to look upon and turned his head to Jack instead. ‘’My next conquest. Weren’t you listening?’’

Jack forced himself to look away - any longer and he was about to start drooling. ‘’No, who is she? What’s her name? I’ve gotta know.’’

‘’You seriously don’t know who she is?’’

The two men whirled around to find Daniel Garcia right next to them.

‘’How long have you been there?’’ Hook asked.

Daniel waved him off, a whatever gesture and then nodded his head in the direction of the unbelievably gorgeous woman. ‘’That’s Mariah May!’’

Hook and Jack blinked at him.

‘’From Stardom?’’

More blinking.

‘’Club Venus? Rose Gold?’’

‘’You’re just saying words at us, man,’’ Hook said.

Daniel gave them a judgemental look. ‘’You guys don’t watch Stardom? For real? Do you not watch any joshi wrestling at all?’’

Jack scratched the back of his neck. Hook gave a half-hearted shrug.

Daniel shook his head. ‘’What’s wrong with you guys? Y’all got no taste. Where else do you find spots to steal?’’

‘’My dad,’’ Hook said.

At the same time, Jack said, ‘’Shawn Michaels, I guess?’’

Daniel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘’I’m surrounded by uncultured swines. Look, she was one of the hottest - literally - free agents in the business. She just signed here, she’s debuting tonight.’’

‘’She’s a wrestler?’’ Hook said. ‘’Damn. Would have been easier if she was a rat.’’

‘’She could be,’’ Daniel said. ‘’You can be a wrestler and a rat at the same time.’’

Hook narrowed his eyes at Daniel. ‘’You would know.’’

Daniel smiled back, completely oblivious. ‘’Yeah, I mean, look at Adam Cole. Or Edge. Or CM Pu -’’ He stopped himself and his eyes went wide in Jack’s direction. A very uncomfortable silence fell over the three of them, one that seemed to last precisely one million years. ‘’...other examples…’’

‘’Alright, enough standing around,’’ Hook said finally. He took his hands out of his hoodie pocket and cracked his knuckles. ‘’I’m going in.’’

Two hands, one from Daniel and one from Jack, shot out and grabbed his hoodie, preventing him from taking a step.

‘’No way,’’ Daniel said.

‘’Nuh uh,’’ Jack added.

Hook glared at the two. ‘’I saw her first.’’

Daniel was aghast. ‘’No, I saw her first! You didn’t know who she was until fifteen seconds ago!’’

‘’That doesn’t count,’’ Hook argued. ‘’I saw her first in the building, so I get first dibs.’’

‘’That’s not fair!’’ Jack whined.

Daniel said, ‘’You don’t understand, man - I’ve been crazy about this girl ever since I first saw her on Stardom World. I’ve been waiting for this moment for months - that could be the love of my life right there!’’

‘’Yeah, well, I wanna fuck her,’’ Hook said, as though that was the most airtight, well-reasoned counterpoint imaginable. ‘’You can fanboy over her all you want after I’m done with her.’’

‘’Hell no! I don’t want your sloppy seconds!’’

‘’If ‘the love of your life’ is sloppy seconds, what does that say about you, huh?’’

Hook and Daniel had been gradually inching closer to each other with each response. They both looked mad, like they were one second away from throwing punches. Jack couldn’t let that happen. Not after last time…

He put a hand on each man’s shoulder and created some distance between them. ‘’Guys, guys, calm down! We don’t need to fight.’’

Clearer heads seemed to prevail, Hook and Daniel shared a nod and then their body language changed, less guarded.

‘’Besides, you’re both wrong,’’ Jack continued. ‘’I should get to approach her first.’’

Hook and Daniel, now suddenly allies, raised an eyebrow each at Jack. ‘’Why?’’ they both asked at the same time.

‘’Because…’’ Jack started. His mind drew a blank. ‘’...I…want to…’’

Now it was Jack’s turn to be blinked at. He wracked his brain - he couldn’t let this opportunity slip away, not when the girl in question was that hot.

‘’Okay, here’s why it should be me! Or, I guess, here’s why it shouldn’t be either of you!’’ He pointed at Daniel. ‘’You hit on girls all the time, while I don’t. So much. So it’s only fair that I got a shot first because, you know, it’s a special occasion.’’ Daniel looked incredulous and opened his mouth to respond but Jack cut him off by pointing at Hook and continuing. ‘’And you! Aren’t you already seeing someone?’’

‘’Uh, no? The fuck you talking about?’’ Hook asked, looking very annoyed at the mere suggestion.

‘’What about that girl you hook up with all the time? The one who’s always texting you? Carly something?’’

Hook rolled his eyes. ‘’Alright, look - technically, I never told Carly we were exclusive. I just…told her a bunch of other stuff and she kinda assumed and I didn’t correct her because I didn’t wanna seem like an asshole. But just because she lets me hit on the regular doesn’t mean I owe her anything - she should understand that. So how is it my fault if she gets mad about something like this?’’

Jack furrowed his brow at his best friend. ‘’You…you don’t seriously think that, right? That’s gross!’’

‘’Nah, that makes perfect sense,’’ Daniel said. ‘’Flawless logic. She’s the one in the wrong, not you.’’

He and Hook shared a quick fistbump. Fuckboy solidarity.

Jack sighed deeply. ‘’See? This is why I should get to shoot my shot first - I won’t treat like her dirt like you two assholes!’’

Daniel looked offended. ‘’I’ll have you know, I’ll treat her like a queen!’’

Hook nodded. ‘’Yeah, same. Unless she doesn’t want me to, you know?’’

Fistbumps all around.

‘’There’s gotta be a way we can decide, fairly, who gets to go first,’’ Jack said. ‘’Some way we can settle this like mature adults. Like men.’’

The three men took a long moment to ponder their predicament and search for an appropriate solution.

Hook glanced down at his fist. ‘’Rock, paper, scissors?’’

‘’Yes,’’ Jack said, emphatically.

Daniel rubbed his hands together. ‘’Alright, how we doing this? Elimination style or triple threat rules?’’

Jack decided to defer to Hook; it was his idea after all.

Hook considered it for a moment. ‘’The usual 3-way match rules. First to score a fall wins.’’

The three of them formed a triangle and each of them placed a fist onto their other palm, ready and waiting. After silently confirming they were all ready through a series of shared nods, Jack took it upon himself to count them down.

‘’Okay, here we go! Rock, paper, scissors, sh -’’

Before he could finish, Jack was shoved back by Daniel, his back colliding with the wall. Daniel then grabbed Hook’s hand, still balled into a fist, and promptly covered it with his own palm, preventing Hook from changing his option and signalling paper-beats-rock.

‘’I win!’’ he announced proudly.

Hook ripped his hand away. ‘’Like hell you do!’’

‘’The fuck was that?!’’ Jack demanded, rubbing his back where it was now sore. ‘’That wasn’t a win, you cheated!’’

Daniel smiled smugly. ‘’No, I didn’t. We said triple threat rules - that means it’s No DQ.’’

A lengthy discussion ensued about what exactly constitutes a disqualification in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, hollowed by a side tangent about why there aren't disqualifications in a triple threat match. Upon realising that they weren’t going anywhere and were just wasting time, they all agreed to play by elimination rules. Hook was the first fall, picking paper while Jack and Daniel went with scissors. And in the finals, Jack’s paper bested Daniel’s rock. How poetic.

‘’Yes!’’ Jack exclaimed triumphantly. He took a great deal of satisfaction in Hook and Daniel’s sour, dejected expressions.

Jack glanced back over to confirm that Mariah was a) still there and b) hadn’t overheard any of that, which turned out to be true on both counts. She was in the exact same spot as before, still admiring herself in her phone’s camera. Jack could relate.

Jack took a few deep breaths to psyche himself up. ‘’Okay, Jack, you got this. You got this! I know exactly what’ll work here!’’

Hook groaned. ‘’You’re not seriously gonna try that again, are you?’’

‘’I told you, it totally works!’’ Jack said, defiant. ‘’Sometimes.’’

‘’What’s he talking about?’’ Daniel asked.

Hook sighed. ‘’He has this thing he does to try and pick up girls. It’s stupid - he just stands around looking sad and supposedly, a girl will eventually come up to him and ask him what’s wrong.’’

‘’It. Works. Sometimes,’’ Jack insisted.

Daniel considered that. ‘’Huh. Yeah, I can see it. One time, there was this girl who told me I had ‘sad eyes’ and it was half the reason she fucked me. So you might be onto something.’’

With his confidence boosted, Jack took another breath to calm his nerves and headed down the hallway to his target. He willed himself to stay calm, but he grew more nervous with each footstep. The closer he got, the better he could see her. She was even more stunning up close.

When he was near enough, he put on his game face. Which was to say, he put on his best sad puppy dog eyes and leaned against the wall, dejected.

His head was bowed, but he could see Mariah out of the corner of his eye. Unfortunately, she was still distracted by her own reflection. Jack didn’t blame her, but he really needed her to look his way. 

He let out a loud sigh. Nothing. So he sighed louder. Still nothing. The third sigh was so loud and exaggerated, it was almost comical. But it was the one that got the job done. Mariah finally looked up from her phone and found him there. There was a flash of concern on her face and Jack knew his diabolical plan was working.

‘’Excuse me, are you alright? You look really sad!’’

Whoa, she has an English accent? Jack wasn’t expecting that. It took him a couple of seconds to process and actually respond.

‘’Oh, it’s nothing, really. Just one thing after another today, you know?’’

Jack knows this is the part where she asks more questions about why he’s so sad and tries to cheer him up.

Mariah just hummed. ‘’Okay,’’ she said, and then turned her attention back to her phone.

Uh oh. It’s not going according to plan! Jack’s brain scrambled for what to do next. He pushed himself away from the wall and closer to her.

‘’Uh, hey, wait! Uh, I’m Jack!’’ he said, offering his hand out.

She eyed his hand curiously and then reluctantly shook it. Goddammit, why did he try to shake her hand? That’s not romantic, that’s…business-y?

‘’Nice to meet you, I guess,’’ she said. ‘’I’m Mariah May.’’

‘’Yeah, I know who you are,’’ Jack said. He wracked his brain for what it was Daniel said about her back there. ‘’I saw you wrestle in, uh…Venus World?’’

[nappycherub]

Okay so maybe it’s bc I’m poor but y’all having an aversion to reo spending HIS money IS CRAZY😭 like he’s not JUST rich,?he’s billionaire rich!! that is more money than anyone could possibly have to do with ???more than the human brain can comprehend y’all better get over that guilt of him buying you a lot of stuff like it’s better to put that back into the economy than to hoard it💀 that’s like telling Santa you don’t want anything for Christmas when he done already made the toys just take them!!😭💀