#fic: afterglow

[lovehermioneforever]

oc valentine's day challenge 2023 : day one/february 7th : the seven kinds of love (all except agape)

↳ featuring : caroline davenport & jj maybank (eros), diana bryant & the liars (philia), adalyn manes (philautia), theodora hudson & nancy drew (storge), myra shang & charlie (ludus), adelina solo & poe dameron (pragma)

tag list : @richitozier , @arrthurpendragon ( let me know if you want to be added )

[back2bluesidex]

Girl crush and afterglow both are amazing they made me cry so much 😭 you should take responsibility ma'am

I'm so sorry, anon! 😭 I made you cry! 😭 But thank you so much for giving them a read and liking them enough to send an ask! 💜💜

[chloewriteswhenshewantsto]

Afterglow

Authors Note: It’s me. Hi. I’m back with another attempt at “writing”. This is an angsty one this time. I felt I should learn to write something that pulls at the heartstrings. I hope this doesn’t disappoint.

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton X Female! Reader

Warnings: Angst, Period Specific Sexism

Word Count: 2.9K

Anthony looks up from his desk, rubbing his tired eyes as he calls out a gruff. "Who is it?"

The rain outside continues to batter the windows, the sound muffled but still audible through the thick oak door of his office.

Anthony's expression softens immediately as he sees you standing in the doorway. He smiles, setting down his pen and pushing himself away from the desk.

"Love, what are you doing up at this hour?" he asks, his tone gentle as he looks over to you. "You should be in bed."

“I couldn’t fall asleep without you.” you admit sheepishly. “The bed doesn’t feel the same without you in it.”

Anthony's smile widens, his heart swelling with a tender affection as he hears your admission. He steps closer to you, his hands coming up to tenderly frame your face.

"You know I'd rather be in bed with you too, darling," he murmurs, his voice gravelly with tiredness. "But the ledgers won't balance themselves, I'm afraid."

“Surly you can do them in the morning, you’ve been working so hard lately, my love.”

Anthony lets out a weary sigh, his thumb gently stroking your cheek as he holds your gaze.

"You know I'd love nothing more, sweetheart," he admits, his exhaustion clear in his voice. "But there's so much work to do. I've been neglecting my duties, thanks to our trip to the country"

“You have been in here all day, it is past midnight surly you can rest now.” you say frustratedly. Your husband is a hard worker, but the dark circles under his eyes betray him. He needs to rest.

Anthony flinches slightly at the tone in your voice, the frustration in your words evident. He lets out another sigh, his hands dropping from your face and going to his hips.

"I know I've been working late, darling," he says, his voice quieter now. "But there's just so much to do. The ton relies on me to keep the estate running smoothly, and with the ball coming up, there's so much to prepare for-"

“Then let me help you lighten the load, I might not know how to balance the books but teach me I am a quick learner. Surly two heads will be better than one.” you say, pleading with your husband to let you help ease his burden.

It is not a woman’s job to deal with finances, you know this, and your husband is a proud man that will want to take the pressure off everyone but himself. You can only hope that he is too tired to argue with you tonight.

Anthony hesitates for a moment, torn between his natural instinct to handle everything himself and the desire to please you.

"Darling, it's not your job to help me with all this," he starts hesitantly, his gaze flickering between you and the papers scattered on his desk. "I'm supposed to take care of everything, that's my responsibility as the viscount-"

“And what of my responsibility as your wife?” you interrupt him sharply. “Is it not part of my duties to help you when you are struggling.”

Anthony falls silent for a moment, your sharp words cutting through the air like a knife. He looks at you carefully, his expression a mixture of surprise and contemplation.

"Of course it is," he admits quietly, his shoulders deflating a fraction. "Be that as it may, these are things that I'm supposed to handle, sweetheart. The estate, the financial planning-"

“I wish to help, I wish to spend time with my husband outside this office!” you frustratedly plea.

Anthony's expression darkens, his shoulders tensing as he struggles to keep his own temper in check.

"You know I wish I could spend more time with you, darling," he snaps back.

"You think I don't want that too?" he retorts, his voice rising slightly. "You think I enjoy spending every waking moment in this damn office, bogged down by paperwork and figures? But it's my job, my responsibility-"

Anthony continues to rant, his frustration and exhaustion getting the better of him as he snaps at you.

"I don't need another problem to deal with. I don't need you hovering over me, trying to help, when I'm the one who has to carry the weight of this estate on my shoulders. You're already distracting me enough as it is."

The words hang in the air like a poison, their harshness cutting deep.

"You need to stop being so bloody needy!" he snaps, his tone sharp and frustrated. "I'm doing the best I can, but there's only so much I can handle! You're asking me to do the impossible. Besides, what on earth could you possibly know about running an estate? All you know is dresses and tea parties and silly little gossip rings, you don't know the first thing about what I’m going through-"

Anthony immediately regrets his words the moment they leave his mouth, his eyes widening in alarm as he realizes the damage his words have done. His lack of sleep and his patience that has been holding on by a thread that has finally snapped.

The words hang in the air like a poison, their harshness cutting deep into your heart.

Anthony's face softens immediately as he sees the tears welling up in your eyes. His anger and frustration disappear, replaced by regret and guilt as he realizes the impact of his words.

"Wait, darling, I didn't-" he starts, reaching out a hand towards you.

“I am sorry I didn’t realise I was another problem that you had to deal with, my lord.” you say stonily, taking a step back from his reach. “I shall leave you be.”

Anthony winces at your formal address, the coldness in your tone cutting through him like a knife.

"Wait, no, that's not what I meant-" he tries to explain, his voice filled with remorse.

Anthony stands there, frozen, as the door swings shut behind you. The sound of the rain outside is suddenly deafening, drowning out the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears.

"Shit," he mutters, raking his hands through his hair in frustration. "I shouldn't have said that, I didn't mean it...fuck." he curses out, swiping the papers of his desk in anger.

Anthony storms over to the corner of the office, pouring himself a generous glass of whiskey. He downs it in one gulp before pouring himself another, the whiskey burning its way down his throat and into his stomach. He paces the room, his mind a maelstrom of guilt and self-recrimination.

Anthony spends most of the night in his office, drowning himself in paperwork and the bottle of whiskey by his side. He tries to focus on the figures in front of him, but his mind keeps drifting back to you.

He can still hear the echo of your hurt and angered voice in his ears, the way you'd shut the door behind you with a sharp click. It pains him how callous and cold he'd been to you, how he'd let his frustration spill out in the worst possible way…

As the first rays of sunlight start to filter through his office windows, Anthony finally falls asleep at his desk, head resting on his arms, his dreams plagued with visions of you. Countless apologetic notions fill his thoughts, he will make things better. He has too.

———————————————————————

Anthony groans, as daylight makes its way through his office windows. Lifting his head off the desk, memories of last night come rushing back, and with them, the sharp pang of guilt. His head is pounding from the liquor, his neck aching from the awkward position he slept in. He sits up, rubbing his temples with a weary groan, the events of the previous night playing over in his mind on repeat.

"Bloody hell," he mutters to himself, shoving a hand through his disheveled hair.

Anthony spots a maid walking down the hall as he emerges from his office, his expression still weary and guilt-ridden. He stops her, and with a gruff in his voice from tiredness, he asks her.

"Excuse me, have you seen my wife this morning? Where is she?"

The maid, a young woman with a cheerful smile, gives Anthony a puzzled look as he stops her in the hallway.

"Good morning, my lord," she says, a little taken aback by his weary and disheveled appearance.

Anthony runs a hand through his hair, attempting to straighten it but failing.

“I have not seen the viscountess this morning, my lord. Would you like me to check with the other maids on her whereabouts?” she respectfully responds.

His heart sinks at the maid's response. He had hoped that he would find you wandering the halls, ready for him to apologize and make things right. But instead, he is left with a sense of confusion and growing dread as to your whereabouts.

"Yes, please. Anything you can find out would be greatly appreciated. I need to speak with her urgently." he says tiredly.

The maid nods her head in understanding as Anthony dismisses himself to ascends the stairs with a heavy heart, his mind still spinning with guilt and worry. As he reaches the door to his bedroom, he hesitates for a moment, taking a deep breath as he mentally prepares himself to face you.

He quietly pushes the door open, peering into the bedroom to see if you are there.

Anthony's heart drops as he sees that the bed is still made and empty. You are nowhere to be found, and he immediately starts to panic.

"Damn it, where is she?" he mutters, stepping further into the room as he looks around frantically trying to find clean clothing to change into.

Stepping out of his room, Anthony runs through the hallways of the estate, calling out your name frantically as he looks in every room and corridor, his footsteps echoing loudly. He checks the library, the study, the drawing room, anywhere he can think of where you might be, but you are nowhere to be found.

"Damn it, where are you?" he repeats, his voice ragged and desperate. "Please, love, where are you?"

As Anthony is running through the estate, he is stopped by a staff member who approaches him urgently. His eyes immediately snap to theirs, a flicker of hope and desperation in his gaze.

"What is it? Where is she?" he asks urgently, his voice betraying his anxiety.

Anthony listens intently to the staff member's words, his heart hammering in his chest as he hears the words "gardens". Without a moment's hesitation, he spins on his heel and takes off in that direction, his steps quick and determined.

Anthony's heart stutters in his chest as he sees you, tucked away in a tranquil corner of the gardens, reading a book. Relief floods through him, but it is quickly replaced by guilt and worry. He pauses, watching you for a moment, his eyes taking in your figure, the sight of you a balm to his weary heart.

Taking a deep breath, he steels himself and starts to walk towards you. Your eyes meet his, and he is struck by the sight of you, sitting there under the tree, reading like nothing had happened between you. His heart clenches in his chest, and he opens his mouth to speak.

"Darling," he says, his voice hoarse with emotion. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

“I suppose so, if you are not too busy that is.” you dryly respond looking up at him.

Anthony flinches slightly at the cold tone in your voice, but he doesn't blame you for being angry. He takes a seat on the grass next to you, rubbing a hand over his face in exhaustion and regret.

"I am never too busy for you," he replies softly, his gaze fixed on yours. "I... I wanted to talk to you, to apologize for last night."

Your expression does not give him hope that this will be an easy conversation for them to have. Feeling nervous he gestures towards the book in your lap, his expression softening.

"May I ask what you're reading?" he inquired, his voice quieter now, almost nervous.

“It is a book on mathematics, I thought it would be smart to fill my brain with things other than dresses and endless gossip.” you respond hitting back at him for his earlier words.

He winces at your words, his shoulders visibly tense as he absorbs the sting in them. He knows he deserves it, after everything he said to you last night. But still, the reminder of his careless words hurts.

"I deserved that," he admits quietly, his eyes downcast. "And I am sorry, for what I said yesterday. It was careless and cruel, and I didn't mean it, truly. You are not another problem, love. You are my partner, my wife. I was just... frustrated, overwhelmed."

Releasing a sigh you meet his eyes. You can see how tired he looks, how vulnerable.

“I know that, which is why I wanted to help. I never meant to become another issue that you had to deal with when you are already so busy.”

Anthony's heart aches as he sees the hurt in your eyes. He reaches out a hand, tentatively resting it on your knee.

"You are not an issue," he says firmly. "You are the furthest thing from it. I was out of line, love, and I'm sorry. I... I should have let you help, should have been grateful that you cared enough to ask. I know how difficult it is for you, sitting at home while I'm stuck in that office day in and day out."

“You hurt me you know, with your words,” you say sadly. “I went to bed alone last night and I cried for what seemed like hours. Then I thought of how angry I was with your stubbornness, so I woke up this morning and went straight to the library because as much as I am upset with you I still love you too much to see you end up in an early grave because you worked yourself to death.”

Anthony's heart clenches as he hears your words, knowing he is the cause of your pain. He lets out a shaky breath, his hand tightening on your knee as he hangs his head in shame.

"I know," he says quietly, his voice thick with regret. "And I don't blame you for being angry with me, I was a fool for saying those things to you. You have no idea how much I regretted those words as soon as they left my mouth. I hurt you, and for that, I am truly sorry. Tell me how can I make it better."

“If you wish to make things up to me you may sit with me and teach me what you know of accounts. I do not wish to have this argument again so I wish to know so I may lend a hand when you truly need it.”

Anthony's eyes widen in surprise at your suggestion, but he quickly composes himself, a faint smile tugging at his lips. He nods slowly, his hand still resting on your knee, a warm and reassuring presence.

"I'd be happy to teach you," he says softly. "And I promise, I will never be that careless again, love. I'll ask for your help next time, I swear it."

“Hmmm, you better.” you gently smile at him. “Also if I am to help you I would like a desk. A large one.”

Anthony chuckles weakly at your request, a mix of relief and amusement at your stubbornness. He nods, his gaze fixed on you.

"Of course, love. You'll have your very own desk, right next to mine. And I'll make sure to explain everything to you, I promise."

You lean over to kiss him gently. Placing a hand on his cheek. You can never stay mad at him for long you blame his face.

“You know if we are to spend more time together in your office, we might need to think of a way to destress after all our hard work.”

Anthony raises an eyebrow at your words, a smirk playing at his lips.

"Oh, and what do you suggest we do to... 'destress', love?" he asks, his voice dropping lower, a hint of something dark and suggestive in his tone.

“Hmmm something like this prehaps.” you say as you climb upon his lap giggling.

Anthony's breath hitches as you climb onto his lap, and he instinctively puts his hands on your hips, pulling you closer to him. His eyes darken with desire as he looks up at you, a smirk on his lips.

"I like the way you think, love," he laughs, his hands traveling up your waist.

The staff can't help but overhear the sound of laughing and joyous voices coming from the gardens, and a wave of relief washes over them. After all, witnessing the viscount and viscountess argue and bicker wasn't a comforting sight for them. As they continue about their work, they can't help but feel glad that the tension between you and Anthony has been lifted, replaced instead by playful banter and laughter. A happy couple suited the viscount and viscountess a far lot better than a bickering one.

[whenlostinthedarkness]

Chapter 2 | Part Two: Silk Chiffon

Lead Singer!Reader x Lead Guitarist!Ellie Williams

Summary: A smoke session in the hotel leads Reader & Ellie into a conversation about the past that affect their future.

Warnings: Sexual Content(f/f fingering, oral, and dry humping), and Infidelity.

WC: 5k

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been reading this series so far & for the positive feedback 💜 Enjoy

Series Masterlist

"Do you ever think about us?”

Ellie's words echoed in your head like a prayer sung in a cathedral. Over and over and over.

“I uhm-I mean..”, you couldn't help but stutter.

Meanwhile, Ellie stifled a laugh as her eyes remained on the ceiling and her mind reveled in the amusing way you were reacting to her question. “You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to.”

Your pupils searched around the room as your hand came up to scratch against your bare arm. You needed something to tame the anxiety running marathons inside of you and your surroundings were the only thing you could use as a tool to calm it.

“I think about us.” Ellie said it so casually, you had to question if what you heard was real or a hallucination.

“What?”

Ellie's chin lowered, her eyes following along with the movement until they rested on you. “I think about us.”

She shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, when in reality, what she was confessing to was something so thoroughly massive in your brain.

“In what way?”

Ellie’s eyes left yours as the confidence seemed to drain from her once sharp facial expression as she shrugged her shoulders. Suddenly, she grew shy at the thought of talking about your relationship together and how it still runs through her mind on a near daily basis.

The temperature seemed to rise in the hotel room even though a soft breeze was flowing freely through the window. Without a word, you turned to walk the short distance back to the couch and took a seat in the same spot you once occupied before; Ellie followed shortly after.

The strain in the room was severely obvious.

You presumed the only reason Ellie had asked a question like this or brought up this sort of conversation all together, was due to the fact that she was clearly very high and spaced out. Which, you weren't wrong about.

Ellie was indeed very high and sunken down deep in her mind as she dared to travel to the one set of memories that were usually barred with yellow caution tape. The memories always appeared so enticing and leaving her wanting to visit the scene of the crime again..but never being able to push herself fully over that barrier to engage with them.

Now, it was different. She was high, you were high, and a shared hotel room was proving to be a nudge in Ellie's rib as she became consumed with thoughts about something else. Someone else.

It was suddenly like you were a hyper fixation of hers that she was bursting at the seems to talk about, yet, she held it in. Instead, opting to keep quiet and let her thoughts be silent or get distracted by something else that wasn’t her life. Yeah - that's what she needed, a distraction.

“You still wanna watch that movie?” Ellie’s voice was so fucking soft yet at the same time very hoarse, it almost made you melt right then and there into the couch.

“Yeah,” you gulped, “anything in mind?”

“How about….”

Your finger aimlessly flipped through all of the options on the screen as Ellie scanned each of the selections until she found the winner.

“But I’m A Cheerleader- that one!”

You shook your head with an amused smile, "Typical".

“What?” Ellie's smile returned to her face as the room relaxed for the first time in several minutes.

“You’re just so predictable- that’s it”, you said playfully while shrugging your shoulders.

“It’s my favorite fucking movie. You should already know I’m biased to it.”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” you waved Ellie off as your thumb clicked a button on the remote that started the films opening scene to display on the large flat screen tv.

In her best efforts to fight off the chill in her body, Ellie grabbed the blanket she had packed along with her and spread it along the lower half of her body as she allowed herself to relax into the cushions.

“How old were you when you saw this for the first time?” You wondered as your eyes watched the cheerleaders twirling high up in the air as the camera panned to an up-skirt view.

“Too young.”

“Like how young?”

Ellie shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe like ten..eleven. Something like that.”

You nodded with wide eyes. “Damn, ten?”

Ellie chuckled at the disbelief in your voice. “Yep. One could say it was my gay awakening.”

“What about Princess Jasmine?”

“She’s different. She’s an angel and can do no wrong.”

A thunderous laugh left your lips which instantly made you slap a hand over your mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound.

“Plus, I was too young to understand I wanted to fuck Princess Jasmine so she doesn't count as my gay awakening.”

Ellie enjoyed your laugh, enjoyed it that much more when she was the one inducing it. It’s like she got a shot of pride directly injected into her veins whenever she could sprinkle a moment of joy or humor or any other emotion that made you feel good. She wanted to make you feel good always and would if you let her.

It's comical in a way. When Ellie was 19, it was as if she had to keep trying to convince herself that she didn't care about you nearly as much as she knew, deep down, she did. In fact, it was as if she was fucking up on a near consistent basis purely just to keep up the act that she was only caring about herself. If the act was more for you and the public, or herself, she wasn't sure. It only became more difficult for Ellie to keep up with this act the further and further you both got into your relationship.

When things were going really well between you both back in your college days, fuck, was it good. On the other hand, when things weren't going well, usually because of something Ellie did, they really weren't going well. It was almost like the good moments were a spotlight shedding on what could’ve been if you and Ellie both had been just a little bit older and more matured and established in yourselves. Sort of like how you both were now.

Yours & Ellie's conversation tapered off naturally as the both of you started watching the movie. Not that Ellie was having much luck in concentrating on the film.

You, on the other hand, were fully entranced on the current scene where the main characters, Megan & Graham, sneak off to have sex for the first time.

The film made it exceptionally pretty. The soft pink tones, the gentle touches, the intimate eye contact between the characters- it truly set the mood for what your first intimate experience with another girl felt like.

Your gaze was too concentrated on taking in all of the details in the movie, that your sober mind had never bothered to notice, that you missed the heavy gaze Ellie held on you as she moved her body slightly. Now, she was seated on the couch, but her body was twisted so she was facing directly towards you with her knees pulled up to her chest.

Eventually you caught on to Ellie's stare, nearly catching you off guard when your eyes met.

"You okay?"

Ellie didn't answer verbally, just opted for a nod as her mind was deep in thought. You mimicked her nod of the head and returned your eyes back to the movie while trying your best to ignore the heat from Ellie's eyes that you could feel were still concentrated on you.

"I miss you."

Your eyes returned to where they were moments ago as you looked into Ellie's green eyes. "We see each other like everyday Ellie."

Ellie nodded, "Yeah, but not like this. I feel like we are walking on eggshells together most of the time and now it just feels..I don't know. Natural. Like old times".

You knew exactly what Ellie meant. She was talking about how things were when you were dating, but now you were far from that and hadn't been even close to that for a couple years.

"I mean..things are different now."

"But why?”

You matched Ellie's position as you twisted your body to face hers. "What do you mean why Ellie. You know why."

Ellie knew you were right, yet there was some part of her that wished things between you both would've gone back to normal after your breakup. Surely wishing something like that was foolish, yet Ellie lived to be the fool.

"I just miss you."

"What things do you miss?" You asked genuinely as the movie now became background noise to the first conversation the both of you had really ever had regarding your past relationship.

Ellie's brain immediately went through film clip memories in her mind of all of your good times together. The late night escapades, the movie nights, the jam sessions, even the sex. It was all something that felt right and natural. Ellie missed all of that, and tonight was feeding a hunger for that feeling she wanted to have again with you. She didn't want it to stop.

"Shit like this..," Ellie shrugged, "..watching a movie, smoking weed, cuddling on the couch.."

Ellie's voice trailed off on the last part as if she were ashamed, which, in some ways she was. However the need for this feeling with you was outweighing any guilt that she could be feeling right now.

"The cuddling huh?", you teased with a warm smile. "Do you think that's a good idea? Cuddling?"

The answer was clear. You knew it, Ellie knew it, yet the both of your bodies somehow began to scoot closer and closer to one another.

"What's so wrong with cuddling?" Ellie asked with innocence which made you roll your eyes.

"I think you know why we can't cuddle Ellie."

By the time you finished your sentence, you and Ellie had hunched backs as you both naturally leaned in towards each other like metal to a magnet.

A heavy sigh fell from Ellie’s lips as she fought a battle within herself that she didn’t know the outcome of. That hunger, that want, that nostalgic feeling coming back was making her want to take in spoonful after spoonful of you and this feeling. On the other hand, she knew it was bad to even entertain such a concept.

She had a loving girlfriend at home that was great in every way possible, but why didn’t she make Ellie feel like this? She kept asking herself this question over and over. Until she couldn’t take it anymore. The two choices sit like two different entrees on fine china. Ellie’s mind kept going from one to the other, trying to decipher if she wanted normalcy or if she wanted you.

“Fuck it.”

A breath gasped out of your mouth and vibrated against Ellie’s lips as she held them against yours like her life depended on it.

Your first thought was shock, but relief soon chased it as you found yourself melting into the tender kiss.

One of Ellie’s hands went up to cup the side of your face as your mouths continued moving slowly against one another’s. It felt so sweetly familiar.

For a second, you were nineteen again and kissing your college roommate for the very first time. The pent up tension and feelings were coming to fruition and that similar sense of relief that you felt when you were 19 was present in this very room as Ellie cradled you in her arms with a grip that held a fear of you trying to leave.

What Ellie didn’t know is that you too had an appetite for this sorta of feeling and you weren’t planning on cutting it off anytime soon. At least not tonight.

Ellie's girlfriend wasn't a thought in your mind or hers as you instinctually moved into Ellie's lap to straddle her waist. Both of your lips moved fervently against the other as tongues collided and saliva coated both your mouths like a shiny clear gloss.

Everything felt second nature and habitual. The way one of Ellie's hands gripped your waist tightly as she pulled you as close to her chest as possible, and the other rested at the swell of your ass. Natural.

The way one of your hands cupped the side of Ellie's face as you ground your hips down towards her; so fucking natural.

Ellie let out a groan at the friction as she tried to pull you tighter to her body, even if it was impossible for you both to get any closer. Her strong grip on your hips was enough to have you mewling into her mouth which only made Ellie feel more starved and deprived of your alluring noises, the warmth of your skin, and the way your mouth fit against hers like the missing puzzle piece that had been brushed under the couch for ages. It was a sensory overload that you both had missed and craved, yet suppressed time and time again - and for what reason?

At this very moment, everything else was quiet and nonexistent. All that was in both of your worlds right now was two past lovers who desperately needed one another.

Ellie allowed you to gently push her to fall backwards so her back rested on the couch as she gazed up at you sitting on top of her.

The quiet and stillness suddenly made everything stop. The eye of the tornado had passed and now it was stillness- A calm just after a storm that caused a kind of damage that could destroy towns.

Ellie mimicked your heaving chest and wide eyed gaze as you stared down at her and she stared up at you. Images of her girlfriend were now flickering through her mind, yet her hands never even thought about straying away from your hips.

As much as this moment was a moral battle for Ellie, there was also a sense of comfort in the familiarity that was your legs resting on either side of her.

Silently, your eyes made a treaty with one another that spoke of consent and allowing whatever happens, to happen but that didn't make you any less hesitant. You had nothing to lose, but Ellie had an entire relationship to lose.

You both could stop the betrayal with just a kiss - you both should stop the betrayal with just a kiss.

Yet still, Ellie nodded as she sensed your hesitancy. She wanted you to know that she knew exactly what you were thinking and feeling and still she wanted this so incredibly bad. Who were you to deny that you wanted the same exact thing when it was consenting right in front of you?

You couldn't nod any quicker and Ellie couldn't move any slower as her hands squeezed your hips in a nearly feral manor. This made you smile and feel a sense of shyness as Ellie looked at you as if you were the Mona Lisa in the flesh.

Gently, Ellie's hips rose up off of the couch to collide with your center, making you bite your lip as you brought both of your palms to rest on top of Ellie's stomach.

Your eyes remained fixed on her as you bent the upper half of your body downwards towards Ellie; your hands sliding all the way up to her shoulders as you did so.

You were now hovering directly above her like a mobile above a babies crib. Ellie's tongue wet her lips as she looked at you as if you were a meal she had been starved of for years, which you had been, but all by choice.

In a challenging nature, you ground your hips down onto Ellie's. Her eyes squinted harshly at the interaction as she slid her hands down so she could unashamedly knead your ass.

Your faces were so close together that both of your breaths were hitting the other with a vapor of warmth that was charged with anticipation and excitement. Ellie was finding it all torturous.

"Please."

Her voice was so quiet it was nearly drowned out due to the audio from the movie, but your focus was on her and only her. You heard her perfectly clear.

"Please what?" You questioned knowing damn well you speaking would lightly brush your lips against Ellie's as you remained hovering above her.

Ellie let out a groan paired with a rolling pair of eyes as she squeezed your ass harder in the hopes that would get her message across...but she should know you better.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to use your words El."

You wore a near devious smile as you turned your face to the side, allowing your mouth to graze along the skin of her freckled cheeks and travel downwards towards her neck.

The tingling feeling made Ellie shiver the closer you got to that euphoric spot just below her ear and when your lips did finally meet that thin layer of skin, you paused entirely, making Ellie huff out of frustration and neediness. You found it all very amusing as your lips continued ghosting along.

“Are you not having fun?”

All Ellie could manage to do was sigh loudly which seemed to spur you on even more.

“Awe you don’t seem like you’re having fun.” You sealed your sentence with a severely light peck to her neck in the exact place she wanted, making Ellie’s hands squeeze your ass again as her eyes began to close. “Then again, maybe you are.”

“Shut up.”

Suddenly, Ellie sat up, forcing your body to sit up along with hers. She wrapped one of her arms around your waist and firmly held you against her as she swapped your position with hers. Now, Ellie was above you and moving quickly to take off her hoodie.

You laid in awe as you took in the view before you. Ellie in a white tank top with messy hair that was stuck up in multiple places, yet the image was as close to the past as it could get in your mind. Except now it was fast forwarded a couple years- Ellie’s facial bone structure was more pronounced, her upper body was more lean and muscular, and her eyes had dark gray underneath them from exhaustion, yet you felt like it complimented the green in the nicest way.

Once again, silence consumed the room, even as Ellie lowered herself downwards and kissed you without warning-not that you needed one.

From here, the race began.

In contrast to earlier, both of your locked lips were desperate and chasing one another. Saliva began dripping along the sides of Ellie’s mouth as she left open mouthed, gasp filled kisses that only separated when she desperately needed to have your bare skin touching hers.

Quickly, Ellie moved to rest inbetween your legs before her fingers found the hem of your flimsy t-shirt. The further the material moved upwards, the more present the urgency was as you assisted Ellie in lifting the material the remainder of the way up until you were tossing it on the floor.

You swore you saw Ellie’s eyes pop out of her head when your bare chest was on full display for her to indulge herself in shamelessly-and shamelessly she did.

A guttural noise came straight from her chest as Ellie’s hands moved to squeeze your tits together, making you lull your head to the side out of sheer pleasure.

“Ellie,” you whined, making that same noise slip off of Ellie’s tongue as she moved her face and began furiously kissing along your collarbones.

Her tongue glided along your skin, leaving trails of wetness in her path, until she got to the place her mouth had been watering for.

Your nipple felt velvety against her tongue as she lapped it up using various circular movements. This feeling used to be a phantom, but now it was in the flesh and she couldn’t believe she had been depriving herself of the delicacy that was you for all these years.

Your fingers twirled the hairs that sat along the back of Ellie’s neck, occasionally pulling them whenever she hit a particularly heavenly spot. Ellie gently grazed her teeth along your nipple while her other hand stayed firmly placed on your ribcage- half in order to keep her own balance, the other half just so she had an excuse to be touching you with every limb that she had.

Ellie began sucking on your nipple and you couldn’t help but arch your back off of the couch, naturally making yours and Ellie’s centers grind against one another. Clearly Ellie was enjoying the friction-and so were you-as she continued sucking even more harshly on your nipple, just the way she remembered you liking it.

By now, you were dripping wet as the currents of pleasure, from the friction and Ellie’s mouth, had you rocking your hips against Ellie as you searched for any sort of abrasion in order to ease the pressure that was weighing heavy on your clit.

“Take this off, you spoke through heavy breaths as your hands moved to the back of Ellie’s shirt. You were tempted to just start taking it off yourself, but you were still hesitant in whatever was happening between the both of you and the only thing that was reassuring you it was okay was Ellie giving her consent.

Ellie swiftly moved upwards and discarded her shirt so it met yours on the floor-a silent consent. Now, the both of you were matching with bare chests exposed to one another.

The moment Ellie moved back down to kiss you again, both of your bodies began sinking up in a rhythm that was getting both of you equally worked up. Ellie’s hand moved to your thigh and lifted your leg up to her hip as she ground her hips down against yours again, but this time with much more access and ability to move against one another with an added pressure.

While the both of you continued fucking with clothes on, Ellie’s hand had managed to slink in between both of you. Her fingertips pressed firmly against your clothed center, feeling the slightest bit of wetness that she was hoping she would find seeping through the thin cotton of your sleep pants.

In unison, you both made a noise of pleasure as Ellie continued rubbing along your clothed core, until you gave her bicep a squeeze.

Ellie released the suction of her lips against yours and peered down at you with a cautious facial expression. “You okay?”

You smiled slightly at the worried expression on Ellie’s face and nodded. “Yeah, I'm good. Really good.”

Ellie’s eyebrows relaxed from their tense state, yet she was still confused. “Are you sure this is okay?”

You shrugged as your eyes averted from Ellie’s worried look. “I think that’s a question you should be asking yourself, not me.”

There was that reminder again about how wrong this situation was, but how could something that’s so wrong feel so incredibly right to Ellie?

Silently, Ellie’s mouth moved to your neck as her hands went to rest along either side of your body. “The only thing I'm thinking about right now is how you taste.”

Her lips left a long kiss to your neck as your eyes nearly rolled to the very back of your head as she did so. “Take off my pants then.”Ellie snickered at your confidence as she obeyed your command.

She maneuvered her body so she was sitting back on her knees-her hands were quick to reach the top of your pajama pants and shed your lower half of it’s top layer.

“God damn,” Ellie sighed words that were meant to be internal, but at the sight of the dark spot that was gathering in the center of your panties, she just couldn’t help herself.

As much as she wanted to enjoy this moment and take her time, Ellie also couldn’t fight off her primitive urge to have your cunt on her mouth.

Swiftly, Ellie’s thumbs hooked on the sides of your panties; you raised your hips upwards to assist her in fully discarding the material off of your legs.

The natural scent of your pussy filled Ellie’s nostrils as she felt her heart start to speed up. Her hands were quick in moving to wrap around your thighs as she settled her face so that it was just above your warm and visibly wet center.

Ellie started off with slow kisses to your inner thighs and lower stomach,trying once again to take her time, until she physically couldn’t take it anymore.

Her teeth sunk into your thigh, making one of your hands raise up to rest on the back of her head and your crotch raise up to move along Ellie’s face.

Ellie’s tongue moved along her lips-the faintest taste of your wetness hitting Ellie’s taste buds for the first time in years. She was desperate now.

Her face moved down, pressing a long lick to your center and allowing you and her to both have some relief from the built up tension. She found herself humming in satisfaction as her tongue peaked out to gently lay flat along your dripping clit, causing you to jerk your body upwards from the sensitivity that was already very prominent. Ellie bared her teeth in a grin before she went back for more.

Ellie’s tongue made out with your cunt as she gave you the sloppiest, messiest head of her life. Your wetness mixed with her saliva as it dripped down her chin while she licked up your center faster and faster with each lick.

Your hand squeezed her brown locks as Ellie wrapped her lips around your clit, sucking it with all the pressure she could muster up before popping it out of her mouth.

Her eyes would briefly glance up at you to watch your every facial expression and bodily reaction to make sure she was hitting every spot that once drove you wild; she was happy to know your body was still a well read book in her library.

Ellie’s tongue went back to give quick, but long licks to your cunt, making sure to leave more pressure then the next. One of her hands moved to your inner thigh and pressed it down gently to ensure you were keeping your legs fully wide open for her, especially when her lips would take a break from the licking and go back to suck on your clit again and again and again.

You could feel the warm tension in your lower abdomen spreading throughout your body as you fully allowed your voice to moan and groan out whatever words came to mind that would accurately describe the ecstatic feeling that Ellie was putting on you.

“’m so close,” you whined as you subconsciously squeezed Ellie’s hair in your hand even more as you tried your best to keep your eyes open so you could watch the way Ellie looked in between your legs.

At your confession, Ellie began to slow down. Infact, her tongue was licking along your slit, but purposefully not putting too much emphasis on your clit because she knew you would be coming undone all over her tongue if she did.

As tempting as all of that sounded to her, she hadn’t even had her fingers inside of you yet.

Your eyes squinted as you watched Ellie’s tongue as it moved tantalizingly slow. By the way the corner of Ellie’s eyes were pinched, you knew she was smiling deviously even though her full face blocked as her tongue dragged up and down your cunt.

Her eyes looked straight into yours as her mouth disconnected from your center. A line of spit connected the both of you before Ellie wiped her lips with her thumb. With that same thumb, Ellie glided slowly along your cunt as the severity of your wetness made a squelching noise that had Ellie regretting she had ever removed her mouth from you.

Ellie’s teasing had you making noises as if you were a new born baby crying out for its mom. Begging and pleading and writhing so you could have your way, but Ellie wasn’t having any of it, she was much too entertained by how you were acting.

“What’s wrong?”

All you could do is respond with a whiny tone as her thumb dipped inside of your cunt for a brief second that didn’t last nearly as long as you needed it to.

“You like that? You want my fingers inside of you?”

Your nodding was so quick, it made your entire head vibrate. Ellie snickered with amusement as she watched you grinding yourself down onto her fingers that were beginning to pick up speed as they rubbed along your pussy.

“God you’re so hot.” Ellie’s eyes were super glued to your lower half as she watched the way your hips rolled into her hand, leaving your wetness to glisten on her fingers. She could only imagine how good you’d look riding her fingers like this.

The next time your body ground down, Ellie tested the waters by slipping the tip of her middle finger inside of you with ease, thanks to your wetness. Your little, bitchy whines were enough of an answer for her to proceed, But first Ellie wanted to take you to bed and ensure she had enough room to properly fuck you into oblivion.

At the disappearance of her fingers, you looked down with a mix of anger and shock. However, Ellie was quick to give clarification as she stood up from the couch with her hand outstretched towards you as she nodded in the direction of her bed.

You nibbled on your lower lip as you placed your hand in Ellie’s palm, just before she assisted in getting you to a standing position.

And from there, everything felt like a blur.

[carlos-in-glasses]

Thank you for the tag @nisbanisba @strandnreyes @lemonlyman-dotcom

@emsprovisions @whatsintheboxmh @corsage ❤️

Today for WIP Wednesday I have a Work is Published Wednesday! Poet Fic in some ways expands on ideas I began in Afterglow of a Supernova, so I wanted to re-share it before posting the new fic in a couple of weeks.

Plot: During a call where Carlos and TK help Carlos’ high school crush from the wrestling team, the fiancés are invited to dinner as a thank you. TK finds himself triggered in a surprising way, while Carlos reflects on his closeted teenhood and how different – or in some ways similar – his life is now. Can our heroes rescue each other from past traumas before they begin their future together? There are conflicts and resolutions to be had before dawn. Read on Ao3

_____________________________

Sliding the bedroom door enough to slip through sideways, Carlos drags open his middle dresser drawer in increments so the runners don’t rattle. They rattle anyway, and now there’s the brushing sound of cotton sheets as TK turns over in bed.

“Baby?” His voice is soft and nasally.

“Oh, hey.” Carlos can hear how sad and flat he sounds. “Sorry, I was just grabbing a shirt. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

TK shuffles over. He’s ended up on Carlos’ side of the bed. “No, no – come here.” He pulls the sheet away to let him in.

Carlos wasn’t expecting this. He’s confused and feels stuck where he stands, like his knees have locked.

“Come on in here.” TK beckons him and pats Carlos’ dented pillow. “I didn't mean for you to sleep on the couch tonight. I thought you’d follow me to bed. But then I fell asleep.”

Carlos somehow operates his limbs. He drifts over and gets under the sheets slowly, as if he’s easing himself into a bath of too-hot water. “I thought you’d want to be alone, after that.”

“Maybe I did for, like, five minutes.”

Carlos instinctively reaches out, suggesting for TK to rest his head on his chest.

TK snuggles up eagerly and kisses Carlos’ neck and collarbone. “Wow, you do feel cold. Oh, baby. I’m so, so sorry,” he says between kisses. “I wish I could take everything back.”

Carlos breathes TK in. His hair still smells like coconut after this morning’s shower. “I’m sorry too. I don’t know why we did that to each other, like we were competing.”

“I think I went into this old place inside myself and couldn’t get out,” TK says, sounding anguished. “Not without exploding, anyway.”

“I guess these things are never simple. I guess when we were younger we both got lucky in some ways and not in others.” Carlos wishes he were better at figuring this out, but life is so often one big guess, and it drives him nuts. He rises, pushing TK up so he can look him in the eye. “TK, I am so heartbroken over what happened to you. Please know that.”

Read on Ao3

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[ender1821]

afterglow

chapter 3 posted on ao3: read here!

Rebuilding is a much more daunting task than Gem had once taken it to be.

— — —

(This fic is now a part of the @multidimensionbb MCYT WIP Purge event!)

[cherrycola27]

afterglow

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol and drinking. Military inaccuracies. Allusions to and eventual smut. Friends to lovers. Mutual pining. Unrequited love. Minors DNI. 18+. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

...........................................

Chapter 5: Don't Walk Away

Jake knew that his time with you was coming to an end. He couldn't believe that you were seriously leaving. Be couldn't stomach the idea of you flying with someone else.

Since you were going back to Lemoore, Cyclone had decided to make him a single seat pilot like he was during the uranium plant mission. God, that fucking mission. If he could go back in time, maybe he wouldn't have flown it. Maybe he would have fought harder for you to go with him. That was the beginning of his downfall with you.

Jake couldn't believe how stupid he was. He had you in the palm of his hand, and now he was watching you slip through his fingers like sand in an hourglass. You were leaving in two weeks, and you hadn't spoken to him since the night he confessed his feelings for you.

It broke his heart when you told him that jt was too little too late. That you had been waiting for him to say that for almost two years. How could he have been so blind? Because he only cared about himself, that's how.

Jake had taken you for granted, and he could see that now. He'd always expected you to be there for him, and now that you weren't, his world was falling apart.

This week, he was finally cleared to fly. You had opted to stay on desk duty until you left.

He climbed in the cockpit and went through all of his preflight checks, but before he could take off, he had a panic attack and jumped out of his jet, and became physically sick all over the tarmac.

Everyone had asked him if he was okay, but how was he supposed to tell them that the thought of you not being in the plane with him made him feel like an elephant was sitting on his chest and made his vision go blurry. The rest of the team watched him spend the entire week trying to get up in the air, but it all ended the same way. Right before takeoff, the anxiety with set it, he would jump out, puke, and run into the locker room like clockwork.

By the time Thursday rolled around, everyone was in a good mood because you'd all been given a three day weekend. Tonight, the Daggers were throwing you a going away party at the Hard Deck. They wanted one last chance to celebrate with you before you left them next Friday.

Penny had agreed to close the bar down, but it still seemed like all of North Island was there. Well, almost everyone.

You sat in a tucked away corner booth and fiddled with the straw in your drink. You'd been watching the door all night, willing him to come.

"Glow, why is the guest of honor sitting alone looking all sad?" Rooster said as he slid in the booth next to you.

"I'm fine, Roo, honest." You told him.

"He'll be here. He may be a gigantic asshole, but Hangman cares too much about you not to come. He's been a mess all week. Couldn't even get his plane in the air." Rooster told you.

"What?" You asked him. You had been trapped in an office and hadn't heard anything.

"Jake would go through all of his preflight stuff, get cleared to taxi, and then he'd freak out, jump out of the cockpit, get sick, and run away. I asked him about it yesterday and he said he couldn't fly without you." Rooster told you as he sipped his beer.

"He sure didn't feel that way when they offered him the uranium plant mission." You grumbled under your breath.

"No one ever accused him of being smart." Rooster shrugged. You chuckled and smiled for the first time that night. Just then, the bell above the door chimed. Your eyes shot over to it, and there he was. Jake Seresin in all of his glory.

But he didn't look like his usual self. His hair wasn't neatly styled, dark bags had made a home under his eyes, and he didn't have his usual glow about him. Rooster quickly got up to leave, and Jake spotted you across the room.

He walked over to you and you noticed he had something tucked under his arm.

"Hi." He breathed out as he approached you.

"Hi." You replied.

"Glow, can—can we please talk. Privately?" He asked you. You sighed and nodded. You made your way through the crowd to the back deck. When you pushed through the doors, the noise of the party faded and was replaced with the sweet sounds of the ocean. You leaned against the railing, admiring the rays of the setting sun.

You turned to face Jake. He paced nervously across the old wood.

"I—I have something for you." He stammered as he shoved the box he'd been carrying in your hands. You untied the ribbon and lifted off the lid. You gasped when you saw the contents of it.

"Jake—you can't be serious." You met his eyes. "I am." He replied as he swallowed thickly.

You looked back down at the box. Inside where his wings. The ones he'd worn every day since his father pinned them on him, and his discharge papers, dated three months from now, when his contract was up.

"Jake, I thought you said you were going to spend your thirty years or more and then retire. What happened to that? What happened to becoming Admiral Seresin? Wasn't that your plan, your dream?" You ask him, still not believing what is in front of you.

"I haven't been able to fly for a week without you with me. You really think I can go another twenty years? I can barely go twenty seconds without thinking about you!" Jake exclaimed.

"If you're not flying with me. I don't want to fly anymore." Jake breathed out.

"You didn't seem to feel that way when you first came here." You argue back.

"I know. I was so stupid. I was so desperate to make a name for myself. To prove myself—that I— I forgot that it wasn't all about me. My biggest regret right now is not fighting harder to get you on that mission with me. If I could go back in time and do it all over, I would. I would choose you. I would choose us." Jake admits to you.

Your breath catches in your throat. "Jake—"

"I'm not done." He cuts you off. "You have been the best thing in my life. You have always been there for me. You have my six in the sky and on the ground. You're my constant, my anchor. I am a better person because of you. I know I can't take back all those hurtful things I said and did. But I can spend the rest of my life making up for them and proving to you how much I love you. Because fuck, Y/N, I love you so goddamm much it hurts." Jake declares with tears in his eyes.

"Jake—" You begin, fighting your own tears.

"I would do anything for you. To prove to you how sorry I am, even if that means hanging up my wings." Jake breaths out.

You don't know how to respond. You stand there looking at him, holding his wings in your hands, and you finally let the tears fall.

In this moment, you realize how serious he is. You can see his hard exterior cracking. You've never seen him be so vulnerable.

When you meet his eyes, it isn't the cocky Hangman standing across from you. It's Jake, your Jake.

The one who took care of you when you were sick. The one who always saved you a seat in flight school. The one who punched an ensign for grabbing your ass.

It's the Jake who watches rom-coms with you and was more concerned about your well-being than his when the two of you had to eject during a training exercise. You remember how scared he was then, and you can see that same look on his face now.

You open your mouth to speak, but Jake rushes across the deck to you and cups your face in his hands and kisses you. It's warm, and it's soft, and it feels like home.

"Please, Y/N, please don't go. I need you. And I promise if you stay, I'll never leave you again." He whispers as he presses his forehead to yours.

"Okay." You choked out. Sobs still catching in your throat.

"Okay?" He asks.

"I'll stay. I wasn't going to say anything until after the party, but, I retracted my transfer." You confess to him.

"Wh—why?" Jake stutters out.

"Because leaving wasn't going to solve anything. Believe me, I think we've both learned that lesson." You tell him. Jake gives a knowing smirk.

"And the idea of not being around you hurt more than being around you. We are a team, through the good and the bad. I couldn't walk away from you—from us. We have something, Jake, and I don't want to lose it." You tell him.

"I don't want to lose it either. I don't want to lose you, Glow." Jake tells you. "Tell me you're still mine. That we can move on from this." Jake pleads with you.

"I'm willing to try if you are. But I need you to tell me that I'm all you want. That I'm enough for you." You say to him.

"You're more than enough for me. You're all I want." Jake tells you earnestly.

"Now, can I take you home? And I promise I'll still be there in the morning." Jake asks.

"Yeah, let's get out of here." You grab his hand as the two of you jump off the back deck and sprint to his car, giggling like idiots.

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter as much as I did! I'm thinking there is going to be about two parts left (and possibly) and epilouge for this story!

Taglist: @thedroneranger @roosterscock @shanimallina87 @desert-fern @teacupsandtopgun @mayhemmanaged @lovinglyeternal @lovingbradshawafterdark @wkndwlff @roosterforme @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @hecate-steps-on-me @cassiemitchell @na-ta-sh-aa @milestellerlover @katieshook02 @mak-32 @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @ohgodnotagainn @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @potato-girl99981 @djs8891 @roosterbruiser @roosters-girl @sebsxphia @rosiahills22 @dempy @olliepig @seresinsweetie @linkpk88 @my-obsession-spn @eternalsams @callsign-magnolia @alchemxx @stargazer-88 @clancycucumber230

[cher-rei]

afterglow- pt 8 [ T.A.A ]

pairing: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, workplace romance, fluff

[wc: 5.6k] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

notes: longest chapter to date to get the ball rolling. literally. Alex is so cute thoughhhh. and sofía and gavi 👀 a little foreshadowing before the next fanfic

you got to the stadium earlier than most but even then the bustling sound of the supporters chanting outside from the stands could be heard all the way down the tunnel where you and jobe had just walked in.

the atmosphere at camp nou had always been something most only dreamt of experiencing, and here you were to witness it at its best with a generational rivalry. a rivalry that you couldn't quite pick a side to.

but here you were as a real madrid supporter, in a jersey with jude's name at the back. he made you wear it, of course, there was no questioning that. his reasoning was that by wearing the jersey you'd give him the energy and your good luck would reach him telepathically or something.

in all honesty, he was just waffling so you gave in.

"oh, I'm getting emotional already," jude joked when he walked out of the locker room in his kit, a cocky smile spread on his face.

you and jobe both shared a look of distaste but jude didn't quite get the message and continued to talk about how he had a gut feeling about today's match. it was entertaining at best to see him get riled up and butter himself up before getting out on the pitch and it made you wonder.

jobe shook his head and pat you on the shoulder with a closed-lipped smile. "I'm going to find our seats."

jude scoffed at his brothers departure. "what? no good luck?"

jobe waved him off without turning around and you were mentally cursing yourself for not going with him. the match didn't start for another 15 minutes so you were stuck with him until he calmed down. he was nervous, that's the reason he couldn't stop talking.

so you watched him with your arms crossed as he spoke, switching from topic to topic until he finally stopped. "are you good now?" you smiled softly at him which earned a mock laugh but you reassured him that he was going to play great, as usual.

you nudged him on the arm. "I'll be in the stands cheering you on don't worry. you've got this, just don't think too hard."

his shoulders relaxed and just as he was about to thank you, but the moment was ruined.

"which shouldn't be difficult seeing as you don't think at all," you added after, your nose scrunched causing his smile to drop, his arm raised ready to put you into a headlock but even more screaming was heard from down the tunnel.

you both paused to listen to the conversation in spanish, rapid fire as it echoed through the tunnel while you waited to see who the voices belonged to.

emerging from around the corner were two people, a barca player and a girl that looked rather familiar. she had the most gorgeous blonde hair you'd ever seen, her face was dotted with light freckles and her presence simply oozed beauty.

her and the player that you recognised to be gavi, the team's youngest midfielder at the moment were arguing about heaven knows what. you looked up at jude dumbfounded, trying to get some context out of the conversation seeing as he was unfazed.

jude simply laughed. "this is normal for them. they're not actually arguing."

your eyebrows raised as you watched the girl point to gavi's shoelaces in annoyance, but gavi on the other hand was looking at her a little differently. his amused smile didn't go unnoticed, and he abruptly cut her off to point to the zip up hoodie she was wearing.

"they're always like this. childish banter." jude looked at you with a cheeky smile. "can you feel the tension between them?"

you nodded slightly, now watching as the girl took off her hoodie to reveal the barcelona jersey underneath and gavi was extremely happy about this for some reason. he didn't waste a second and took out his phone, telling her to turn around so he could take a picture.

then it hit you.

your hand flew to your mouth. "oh shit, that's sofía messi."

jude hummed out, sending gavi a silent greeting when he looked over to you guys. "in the flesh. she's super nice, don't be alarmed by the way she's acting with gavi. that's just how they work."

oh, now that's something you were interested in. that little thing they had going on was definitely leading somewhere, whether it be sooner or later.

when you finally left to get to your seat you gave jude one last good luck hug, one that you felt he needed more than he let on. "you better score."

he watched as you left the tunnel and seemed almost offended by the fact that you thought he wouldn't. "just for you."

sweet talker.

"you better!"

the boy did not disappoint.

real madrid won 2-1, wherein both goals were scored by jude. for the entire match you and jobe were at the edge of your seats, either in distress or in utter joy. the atmosphere in the stadium was indescribable— it was truly an experience.

and after the last goal he made sure to dedicate his celebration to both you and jobe, blowing a kiss to the stands where you were sitting. now most people would be flattered by the gesture without a doubt, but you and jobe were more disgusted by the cheesiness of the act and fought back the urge to throw up.

overall it was an amazing match and you thoroughly enjoyed yourself, and you couldn't wait to tell everyone about it when you got back home. especially since trent was rather jealous that you got to go, while he had to stay behind and... do his job.

his complaint made you laugh and you promised that you'd tell him all about it when you got back to fill the void of missing out, saying that he could live vicariously through you instead. all weekend that you'd been gone trent had checked up on you, filling you on on little bits that happened throughout the day and whatnot.

you couldn't deny that it made you miss it back in liverpool, not really the place but rather your job. the comfort finally started to settle in on that side of the world and you were getting your things back in order, just how you liked it. needless to say, you couldn't wait to go back home.

a heavy sigh left your mouth as your eyes trailed over the pitch where you and jobe were now standing, waiting for jude as he spoke to the other players. "I can't believe I can't speak spanish. instead of teaching me how to find a petty theft criminal, dora should've helped me find a spanish boyfriend."

from beside you jobe judged you with his entire body, not just his face. did that really just come out of your mouth? "why would you say that? you need medical help at this point, your desperation is showing."

you put your hand to your chest in mock offence, dumbfounded that jobe was that straightforward when calling you out, but it was the truth, unfortunately. "guilty." you put your hands in the air defensively but proceeded to point out that he would only understand what you were going through when he was an adult.

you pat his arm sympathetically. "enjoy it while it lasts."

"enjoy what?--"

he was cut off abruptly by jude sliding in out of nowhere, only this time with someone at his side. you looked up at him as if to say "what the fuck jude??" but you plastered on your best smile to mask your slight anger.

he knew the earful he was going to get on the way back to the hotel but it was for the moment right? and besides, he was doing you a favour. "sofía, this is jamie, my best friend."

"your only friend," you said through a forced smile and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

sofía laughed at your comment, and you were once again left in awe at just how pretty she was. it was actually unreal to the point where you didn't even know if you were actually talking to her or if you were just there frozen at a loss for words.

the was a soft smile on her face and she put out her hand for a handshake. "I'm sorry for coming up like this, I just wanted to say that I'm a fan."

you pulled a face. "you are??" jude slapped you on the arm, an indication for you to calm down and so you did. "I'm an even bigger fan then. seriously you are gorgeous to say the least."

sofía waved her hand shyly in disagreement, a soft chuckle leaving her lips. "you're just as pretty trust me. seriously," she took the liberty of taking a step closer to you because jude was gone and you did the same. "pedri wouldn't shut up about you."

fuck you dora.

a blush rose to your cheeks but you played it off well enough. the two of you continued to speak for a bit, just dabbling in casual conversation about your trip and hers. she was only visiting barcelona at the moment and was heading back to miami next week.

she just finished school too, but wasn't too keen on studying further. it wasn't like she needed to anyway, she had the money to live her best life anywhere she wanted, but you could see in her expression that it didn't make her feel as good as most would.

"you should tell me when you're free next time, maybe we could could arrange a little outing," sofía promoted happily and it took every nerve in your body to stop you from screaming or doing literally anything.

before either of you could say anything further a ball came launching from not too far off and hit her leg. all sofía did was shut her eyes, and you knew that look all too well. when she gained her composure again another ball lightly hit her leg to which she turned to the side.

you followed her gaze to see gavi standing innocently, the ball under his foot but and not anywhere in the air. the girl let out a scoff from beside you but didn't bother giving the midfielder the time of day.

"sorry about him," she apologised. "he's just... I don't know."

you laughed sheepishly, and thought back to their little argument earlier. "yeah you guys were really going at it in the tunnel."

her face flushed with embarrassment and you couldn't help but laugh, telling her that you didn't understand anything that they were saying anyway.

she rolled the football beneath her feet, casually flicking it up and dropping it again. of course she played, it was practically in her blood even if she wasn't actually a messi.

"he's stupid that's all." sofía looked up at you with a look of distaste as she spoke about gavi. "doesn't tie his shoelaces, makes stupid bets--"

your eyebrows raised in eagerness at the last past, an idea of what the bet entailed but she promised to tell you another day. "so are you guys..." you trailed off and crossed your index and middle finger together causing her to immediately recoil at the question.

"oh god no." she shook her head at the thought. "I'd lose my mind if I were to be around him anymore than I already am."

an unconvinced hum left your lips at her answer before another ball came hurling and hit her leg. only this time, sofía actually reacted. "pablo, I swear si pateas esa pelota una vez más te voy a dar una concusión."

you had absolutely no idea what she said but the anger in her tone was evident and that definitely meant that it related to murder. not too far off from where you were standing gavi rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face didn't go unnoticed by you.

she let out another angry sigh, mumbling in spanish under her breath and you made the mental comparison of a spanish eminem. seriously, it sounded like she was rapping the way she spoke. "I think it's time for me to go unfortunately, the child is getting restless."

as opposed to your former greeting at the beginning, this time she went in for a hug, mentioning that you guys should seriously talk more, and her dms were open. she was such a genuine soul that you couldn't not say yes, or anything for that matter because gavi came in from behind and dragged her away by the hood of her zip up hoodie.

he made sure to send you a polite wave though so you didn't mind, you were sure enough that sofía was giving him an earful already.

from liverpool to barcelona, then to madrid and london and finally back to liverpool.

that's what your vacation week consisted of. you only stayed in london for a day, you didn't feel the need to be around your mother any longer than that. she just wanted to see you and that's what you gave her.

shaun was there obviously— her boyfriend that your father didn't like at all, and rightfully so. it was two minutes into dinner when she asked if you were moving back to london with maya, and you were more than delighted to tell her no.

"I have a flat back in liverpool already. I'm moving in before christmas."

every question she asked, your answer was dull and straight to the point, because if you were to give away in more information than necessary she was most definitely going to try and fight you for it just so you could move back in with her.

"I saw you went to visit jude, how was the trip?"

"it was great, I missed work though so I'm excited to go back home."

home. you called liverpool home and it visibly annoyed her, setting something off in her mind and shaun knew that if anything were to come out of her mouth it would end up in an argument so he cut in and spoke to you for the first time since you arrived.

he cleared his throat. "so how is work jamie? are you finding it difficult?"

you shook you head but kept your eyes on your food, not bothering to make eye contact. "nope. I love it, it was worth the move and I'm having fun."

your mother hated every bit of what you said. it made her feel worthless, that you would willingly toss her to the side just to get away from a bad moment. the day that you moved she didn't speak to you once, not even a goodbye and here she was saying that she missed you.

and to make matters worse shaun just had to bring up the topic of relationships. "and do you have a boyfriend yet? seeing as you're doing so well i'm sure you're talking to someone."

"no I don't." short and simple. all your answers remained that way for the rest of the evening and till the moment you bid your goodbye for your trip back to home where your presence was actually wanted.

when you got back on the train, you felt yourself loosen up, your shoulders losing their tension and your mind at ease. being around her was suffocating, to say the least, but she was still your mother regardless of how she made you feel so that's why you gave her the time of day when needed.

when you got back to your sister's flat you were met with a few empty boxes with labels on them all sprawled out in the living room. your sister was somewhere in the kitchen with noah by what you could hear.

you took off your shoes in the doorway and left your suitcase and bags, the brilliant idea of making a surprise entrance clouding your mind. your quiet footsteps patted the wooden floor as you neared the kitchen, your sister's and her husband's voices not too far off while you waited for the perfect moment to make your silent entrance.

"babe, I was wondering if we could-- ah!!"

maya's oscar-worthy scream echoed through the entire flat. the evident shock on her face had her plastered, her heart racing because you had shown up behind her out of nowhere. you didn't think that she'd be that startled so you must of caught her off guard by a mile.

noah was the first to speak up, his face a shade of paper white. "what happened to 'hello'? or 'hi I'm back'?"

your shoulders merely shrugged in response with a lopsided smile that maya wanted nothing more than to wipe off your face. after the usual greeting and after you were done putting your bags away, you decided to join them in the kitchen for a chat.

as usual, maya asked about your mother and how she was doing but your lack of interest in talking about made her drop the topic. you were sat on the kitchen counter, watching as your sister and her husband sorted their things into boxes, jokingly arguing with each other.

maya gasped and turned to noah. "do you remember when we got this?" she was holding up a mug, which wasn't in the best shape. it was white with tiny red hearts on it.

you'd seen the mug a few times before when you were doing the dishes but no one had ever used it before. a smile drew to noah's lips and he took a closer look, his fingers pointing to something painted on at the back.

"we made this mug on our first date, at that pottery place." he showed you the mug, prompting you to look at the print that made your eyes widen in shock.

11/05/2011.

that was 12 years ago. your sister has had the same partner for 12 years and yours barely lasted 2 years. an unfamiliar feeling settled in your stomach at the thought while you watched them married couple reminisce fondly.

it was an insane amount of time to think about, 12 years was quite literally half your age. you'd known noah since the age of 11 and now were best friends with his 5-year-old son. it dawned on you that either your life was moving slower than expected, or that you just hadn't worried about your future in that sense.

michael hadn't ruined relationships for you entirely. or at least that's what you hoped, fear was never something you particularly loved to think about. was this your breaking point— the universal awakening from the gods that hinted for you to actually do something instead of worrying about the past?

this was it. the new beginning, the fresh start that you needed and were fully going to take charge of. whatever happens, happens.

you hopped off the counter with a pep in your step, an alarming amount. "I'm taking alex with me on a little field trip."

it was sunday, so it was only a matter of time until noah had to pick him up from football practice which was perfectly timed.

"for what?" maya asked you, half expecting you to rest after your trip instead of going somewhere but you had another idea.

"for the experience of a lifetime."

most wondered why alex only called you "jamie" instead of "aunt jamie". your mother thought it was disrespectful, maya and noah thought it was cute, and your dad thought it was because he saw you as a sister more than an aunt. all of those which were wrong.

you told him never to call you "aunt jamie" because it made you sound old. plain and simple. people always put so much thought into it but you never bothered to correct them, let it hang in there rather than clear it up. and just the thought of anyone calling you "aunt" made your body recoil.

you were a friend, a sister— easygoing and chill. not an aunt and alex agreed.

"you're like batman jamie," the boy said as you made your way through the stadium tunnel together, his hand in yours. "I can't believe you got us tickets. you're so rich."

today was the game against fullham, a fan favourite. but it was also trent's first match back from injury and you wanted to be there... for moral support and stuff.

you looked down at your nephew in confusion. "alex, I work here. you know this."

"sure," he dragged out in suspicion which caused you to shake your head, not having the energy to argue with him.

it was still a bit early and the boys were probably still in the dressing room so you made your way to the pitch, greeting a staff member every so often when one passed by who didn't know that you would be in today.

"this is... amazing!" alex yelped in excitement when you emerged from the tunnel, fans already chanting from the stands in excitement for the match. alex was in shock, his lips parted in amazement while his eyes roamed the stadium.

this was his experience of a lifetime. the same as yours when you were 5, when your hand was holding onto your father's for dear life as you jumped up and down, your liverpool scarf draped tightly around your neck while you chanted and screamed your heart out.

you would never be able to forget the look on your mother's face that evening when you got back. she was furious beyond recognition, her blood boiling at the carelessness of your father who had no regrets with taking you.

the adrenaline was still pumping through your veins when you got home and you were so eager to tell your mother all about it. "henry, it's nearly 10 in the evening you can't just take her to watch a football match. she has school tomorrow."

your father chuckled and ruffled your hair as you struggled to take off your jacket, opting to help you. "she had fun grace— we were playing and I couldn't miss the opportunity seeing as they were in london today, there's no harm in it."

your mother put her hand on her forehead, not caring for your father's horrible reasoning. "I said yes to the weekend football club because it was harmless, but this is taking it too far."

before your father could reason any further you spoke up, all energetic and playful from the evening's events. "mum you should have been there, everyone was so loud and then stevie g scored a goal!"

"jamie I know but--"

you hopped onto the couch, your arms raised in the air. "--stevie g scored a gooaaaaaaaal!"

"jamie, you're back?"

your head snapped to look at the player's benches up in front where the staff and today's subs were sitting. curtis was the first to stand up and then harvey who looked all too confused by the kindergardner at your side.

"you have a kid?" he asked and alex stared him down, the exact same look you were giving harvey.

"this is my nephew alex, you idiot. do I look like I'm in the position to be a mother right now?" you asked him and he shrugged his shoulders.

curtis leaned down to match alex's height and put his hand out for a fist bump. "nice to meet you alex, I'm curtis," he gestured to harvey. "and he's harvey."

your nephew eased into the greeting and returned the fist pump with a toothy grin. "how do you know jamie? it's because she's batman right?"

both harvey and curtis looked at you with pursed lips, obviously trying to hold back their laughter. not too long after, jurgen emerged from the tunnel, just as surprised to see you at the stadium. he greeted you with a hug then turned his attention to alex who was even more skeptical.

"and you must be alex, jamie has told me a lot about you."

you hummed at the observation and alex nodded happily. he knew who these people were, he watched every match with you at home from the second he came back from hospital. but the way he was holding his composure was astounding to you.

if there was something noticeable about him then it was his attitude and his confidence. he loved talking to people and was strangely extroverted for someone his age, but people loved it and found him charming.

"I know who you are too. jamie is always shouting at you through the tv screen."

curtis doubled over in laughter at his comment which caused a blush of embarrassment to flush your cheeks but jurgen just laughed, telling him that you shout in real life too, not just through the tv screen.

before you knew it, the match started and you were seated next to ibou with alex in between. the two hit it off so easily, talking and joking around nonstop through the chanting and your screaming.

the game started rocky, but it was nothing that a free kick couldn't fix and you thanked the gods that trent was back to take it. 20' in and you had your first goal before the back and forth began. by half time the score was 2-2, the second goal being scored by macca.

it was his first goal for the team, one of the cleanest too. you leapt out of your seat at the adrenaline rush and utter joy, everyone screaming in excitement as the boys celebrated and congratulated macca on the goal. you looked at alex beside you who was jumping up and down with ibou, a smile of adoration on your face.

when the break came around jurgen was quick to rush to the dressing room, not even sparing anyone a second glance so he could prep the team's next strategy after the first half's analysis.

the stadium was bustling with noise and anticipation regarding the draw which you spent the entire break discussing and making bets on with curtis, ibou and harvey.

"we need to make subs. that midfield is a little shaky and joel isn't looking too good," you said in contemplation, mentally going over what you saw in the first half.

"Ibou let's go!" alex turned to him with a look of determination. "you can play in joel's place."

the defender stifled a hearty chuckle and nodded in agreement, knowing that the substitution was going to be made soon. everyone was back on the pitch shortly after, the tension high and your heart racing. but that was because you made brief eye contact with trent seconds prior and only managed to smile back at him.

there wasn't any progress made for a good 10 minutes, but when 50' rolled around jurgen looked to the bench and told cody and joe to warm up in the meantime, the same with ibou just in case.

60 minutes in and the regular subs were made with dom and macca off for joe and cody. the two walked off the pitch and handed over, dom looking a little disappointed because he wasn't playing as well as he hoped.

he greeted you with a hug and took a seat, a huff of anger leaving his lips. that prompted for alex to lean over you so he could give him a little pep talk, one that left dom smiling from ear to ear.

"when I lose a match or get hurt jamie always tells me that it's normal because everyone has bad days," he looked up at you and then back at dom. "then she buys me ice cream and tells me to take a nap. so just take a nap and you'll feel better."

he nodded gratefully and ruffled the boy's hair, "your aunt gives great advice then."

he shrugged nonchalantly. "she's okay, I guess."

you shook his answer off and continued to pay attention, not even realising that joel was being taken off the pitch. you looked to your right and ibou was gone in his place, just as alex had suggested.

miraculously fullham managed to break the tie, now leading by 3 which had the stadium grim and tense. the goal prompted reinforcement which happened to be endo, who seemed more than ready judging by his stance and the fact that only 2 minutes in he scored the 3rd goal.

"let's go!" you yelled out, which earned a judgmental look from your nephew who told you that you had anger issues. "you scream too much" was what he said and you stuck your tongue out teasingly.

one more. one more. come on we need one more.

"gooooaall!! and alexander-arnold makes it 4-3!!"

your heart dropped to your stomach yet it was still ruthlessly pounding, the anfield stadium erupted in screams of victory and relief. this was it. the moment that you saw the look on alex's face that you knew all too well— the realisation and unlocking for a passion. your mission was accomplished.

when the final whistle blew you and the rest of the lads ran to the pitch with alex's first stop being ibou who picked him up happily while going around to the fullham players to shake their hands.

"fancy seeing you here."

the sound of trent's voice brought you out of your daze. you rolled your eyes with a ghost of a smile, recognising the quip to be a reiteration of your first proper conversation.

you mocked a laugh and turned to look at him, and to your surprise, he pulled you in for a hug. your inner monologue was going crazy, sirens going off in your head like there was no tomorrow but you remained calm and collected. to an extent.

"first day back and you scored 2 of our goals. not bad," you retorted and he stifled a laugh before a moment of silence enveloped for what felt like years before he spoke up again.

"I see you've brought a friend today." he looked over to where alex was playing with ibou, virgil and mo. you hummed in agreement, laughing when ibou threw the ball at your nephew's head.

"today was his realisation."

trent's lips parted in shock. "no way. are you serious?"

"you should have seen the look on his face trent." the recollection of the moment was priceless, especially when it dawned on you when it happened. "it was your goal too."

that surely boosted his ego and you could see it by the smug grin on his face. you both walked towards where alex was playing, happily kicking the ball around with the supporters still watching.

his laughter could be heard as virgil tried to play tackle him, and his best option was to kick the ball your way— yelling at you to score the goal.

your immediate reaction was to look beside you, trent's eyes lighting up at the idea but you ran and dribbled the ball away from him before he could take it from you. you eased it away, telling him to stay back but he neared you regardless.

"get this in and i'll agree to our match," he said with a smile and took the liberty of chasing after you which you weren't happy about at all, and neither was alex who was cheering you on.

"jamie! jamie!" he chanted which somehow got the rest of the stadium to join in, with trent still on your tail and his eyes on the ball that you were keeping away from him, then harvey joined in for the fun of it of course.

you were practically sandwiched between the two, your laughter sounding through the evening air along with the chants of your name and alex's loud final "jamie kick the ball!"

you were on the right side of the pitch, having no way to get the ball in without help seeing as kelleher took his position back as the goalkeeper and was standing at the ready. "darwin!"

your yell for help had him more than ready and he ran up so you could pass the ball to him, only for lucho to have at him afterwards so he passed the ball dom who was a laughing mess, unable to believe what was happening. you managed to run up far enough along the line, just in time to get the ball that dom kicked only this time with an actual winger holding you back.

"I play center forward this isn't who I am!" you cried out and mo laughed as he marked you, but somehow managed to get the ball around him with nobody else's upfront, which left you with one choice.

the ball hurled with so much force and a slight curve, leaving it to set in the top right corner of the net with no way for kelleher to save it. the stadium boomed once again, which left you doubling over in laughter.

"jamie! jamie! jamie!"

darwin, curtis and dom bolted to huddle over you in victory, leaving jurgen on the sidelines impressed and with a smile.

you looked over at trent who had his lips pursed. "see you on the pitch trentski."

they walked over to you with a lot to say but curtis interjected, his hand out to stop them. "post match interview happens later, as her manager I'm telling you step away."

talk about the experience of a lifetime.

posts: youtube vlog

[anonymityisfunwriter]

You're Losing Me

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Your fairytale ending is crumbling before your eyes. You don't know how to love someone who can't tell you're dying. You fear you're fading away, begging him to do something, say something, choose something. You fear he won't be able to resuscitate you this time. This time, he's losing you.

Part 1 - You're Losing Me Part 2 - Hits Different Part 3 - Maroon Part 4 - Afterglow Part 5 - Champagne Problems

[a-dose-of-comatose]

Golden Hour

(GuitarSpear/GuardRock Aftercare One Shot)

Gift for @deadgirlwalking91 ���️

Ao3 Link Here

Adam takes the time to appreciate the beauty of Lute's afterglow.

(NSFW Followed by Tooth-Rotting levels of Fluff)

Lute threw her head back into Adam’s chest, eyes rolled back in pure bliss as the pressure of his fingers along her clit grew deeper. The way her hips bucked into his touch with need as she squirmed and struggled to moan through the hand gripping her throat would have sent him over the edge had he not already finished.

Tears trailed down her face as Adam’s grip tightened around her neck ever so slightly. He was so much bigger. So much stronger . The fact that Lute trusted him with her entire being during these intimate and vulnerable moments meant everything to him. The way no one else got to see this submissive side of the stoic Lieutenant of the Exorcists was something he would never take for granted.

Lute was gorgeous every moment. From when her eyes fluttered open in the morning to when she was in the deepest stages of sleep overnight. Sunlight radiated from her when golden blush lit up her cheeks, and she glowed like the moon when she was vicious and cold.

She was even prettier when her jaw dropped open with a strangled gasp as she clenched around his fingers, finding her release.

Adam had known supposed perfection from the moment he opened his eyes, watched as it was taken away through another’s mistake, and managed to find it once more in the company of his lieutenant. 

He quickly moved his hands to her waist, flipping her from her back and onto her stomach. She gasped for air between small sobs as she nuzzled into his chest, nails desperately digging into his shoulders like she would lose him forever if she let go. 

“Hey, Lute,” he whispered, bringing a hand up to rub small circles into her back. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

The sound of her erratic breathing filled the air surrounding them. He lifted his other hand to her face, and tucked back the sweat soaked locks, slowing his own breathing down and lifting her body with his movements as a silent reminder to her of the pace to aim for.

It worked, and little by little her breath resumed a normal rhythm. “You feeling better?” he finally asked.

She offered a slow nod, peering up through tear soaked lashes to meet his gaze.

Of course, Lute was breathtaking every moment, but nothing compared to her afterglow.

Her golden eyes shone a million times brighter through the watery filter of her tears. Her parted lips were swollen from pressing them against his, and small dribbles of drool gathered around the corners. Her stark white hair looked so different when it was messy from the fingers that ran through and tugged on it - from the sweat that stuck it down to her skin.

Her skin was his favorite. Her usual porcelain complexion surpassed Heaven’s most beautiful sunsets when she was flushed with golden blood. 

Her chest, cheeks, breasts, ass, and cunt were all ablaze with the physical evidence of their evening together. It was more breathtaking than the hand he had wrapped around her throat.

She pulled the air from his lungs with nothing but her beauty.

“Good.” He leaned down to kiss her forehead. “Because you did so well, Lute,” he praised, “you are so fucking beautiful.”

His fingers crawled along her back to the base of her wings, where without even seeing them, he could feel the disheveled feathers from when she writhed against him with need - not caring about the mess she left in the slightest.

She only wanted him.

He only wanted her.

He smoothed her feathers back down with gentle strokes. “Was it good?” he questioned.

“Yeah.” She exhaled deeply, craning her neck to place a kiss along his jaw before collapsing back onto his shoulder. 

“Tell me what you need, Lute. I can go run a bath real quick-”

“No bath.” She shook her head slightly. “I just want to stay with you.”

Poor thing was drained.

“‘Course.” Adam nodded, giving her a lingering hug. “Can I at least grab some stuff to come clean you up with?”

She responded by shifting her body off of his, landing with her back on the mattress. “Hurry back?”

“Lute,” he grinned, slowly scooting himself off the edge of the bed. “I wouldn’t miss this for anything.” 

It was Adam’s personal golden hour. The one where Lute’s afterglow lit up every inch of her skin, and she let down her walls completely, allowing the two of them to exist in their own personal Heaven. 

Getting to take care of his lieutenant afterwards was one of the best parts of sex for Adam. 

So, he spent the extra moment to find Lute’s favorite throw blanket from wherever they had left it last, found her a clean set of his boxers and a shirt to sleep in, and finally grabbed two wet rags from the bathroom before returning to their bedroom.

Lute’s eyes lit up as Adam took his place beside her, gently dabbing the cool cloth across her forehead, relieving some of her lingering heat and clearing away the residual sweat drops.

“Hey, beautiful.” His free hand came to trail up and down her ribs, sending goosebumps coursing through her body. “Still doing okay?”

She was beyond blissed out. Eyelids still heavy, her motions ever so slightly delayed as they ran through the filter of her lust.  

She nodded as he folded the cloth and placed it on the back of her neck. “Better with you.”

He placed a kiss on the tip of her nose before turning his attention back to cleaning her up, being extra careful to not use too much pressure on the overstimulated parts of her body that he had already spent a considerable amount of time focusing on that day.

Spots like the trail of hickeys that mapped out from her jaw, down her neck, and along the ridge of her hips. Beautiful marks that ranged from the lightest dustings of peach through deep honey and saffron. Marks that held a brief, but undeniable, tangible proof of their love - of their commitment to each other.

He had never found more serenity than in the sunset colors splotched over her chest. Trails from scratching fingernails, indents from the playful nibbles that went deeper as things ramped up.

And he’d never forget the luster of the bruises on her hip bones, from where his fingers held her tight as they rocked against one and other. 

She lay there, arm draped over her face as she floated down from her high, right into his waiting arms. “Was it okay?” she finally mumbled.

“You-” he stopped to meet her eyes “-were fucking perfect ,” he praised, gentle pulling back her arm to see her flushed cheeks. “You are perfect.”

He turned to grab the extra clothes from his nightstand, and reached a hand to the back of her neck, helping her to sit up. 

“You are breathtaking.” 

He tugged the shirt over her head, and helped to guide her wings through. 

“You are radiant.”

She laid back down, and he threw the fluffy blanket over her. 

“You shine brighter than every star in the sky.”

Her blush grew a million times brighter as she chuckled softly, blowing a raspberry. “You stop.”

“Never.” He smiled back bigger, climbing out from the bed. 

She pouted, “Where are you going?”

He reached for one of the instruments hanging from his wall. “Nowhere far,” he reassured, plopping down back next to her. He gently plucked the strings and turned the tuning knobs. 

“You did not-”

“I did.” He smirked down at her. It wasn’t often that he pulled out his lute, but the moment felt right.

She laughed and snuggled back down into the bed as he began to gently play a song from Earth, one that despite never stepping foot in Heaven, he swore the artist had to have met an angel. There was no explanation for the vivid descriptions of a golden glow otherwise.

“It was just two lovers Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde Fallin' for each other.”

Lute’s hand inched along to rest on his thigh.

“Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish No Donald Glover Missed call from my mother Like, 'Where you at tonight?' Got no alibi”

Her fingertips traced lazy circles into his skin, and he leaned into her touch.

“I was all alone with the love of my life She's got glitter for skin, my radiant beam in the night. I don't need no light to see you shine. It's your golden hour, you slow down time in your golden hour.”

She let out a sleepy yawn, as her free hand came to rub her eyes. 

“We were just two lovers Feet up on the dash, drivin' nowhere fast Burnin' through the summer Radio on blast, make the moment last She got solar power Minutes feel like hours She knew she was the baddest, can you even imagine Fallin' like I did?”

Lute nuzzled into his leg and pulled the blanket up to her chin - a tell tale sign she wasn’t going to be awake for much longer.

“For the love of my life She's got glow on her face, a glorious look in her eyes. My angel of light.”

Her breathing settled into gentle snores as he finished the last chorus of the song.

“I don’t need no light to see you shine, It's your golden hour, you slow down time in your golden hour.”

With a content exhale he leaned over the bed and placed the lute against his nightstand before creeping down under the covers. 

Lute’s sleeping body shifted to wrap an arm around his waist, which he returned by leaning his head onto hers.

He placed one more kiss along the top of her head, and whispered, “All the sunsets in the world could never compare to you.”

[back2bluesidex]

Tbh I got more emotional after reading afterglow than girl crush 🥲 It was so good

Ah! Thank you so much! 😭

I personally find Afterglow more emotional too! 😭💜

[glitteredbubbles]

I just wanted to say that your new fic is the first one I've read in forever!! Honestly, I forgot the feeling of staying up until midnight kicking my feet, giggling, and crying. I've rediscovered my girlish whimsy and disregard for future commitments thanks to you!! 💌 Thank you so very much <3

(It's 12am, and I work in the morning, but I just finished the new chapter, and omggg)

OMG it’s such an honor to be the writer of the first fic you’ve read in a while! Disregarding future commitments by staying up late reading fanfic is one of the many joys of life, so I’m glad I was able to help contribute to that for you!

The giggling and kicking your feet part is throwing me off though since you’re talking about my new fic which is one of the saddest things I’ve written 😭 but I’m so glad it was able to bring you such joy!! Hopefully you won’t be too sleepy for work tomorrow :)

[whenlostinthedarkness]

Afterglow: The Setlist

Lead Singer!Reader x Lead Guitarist!Ellie Williams

Summary: While on tour with your band, an unexpected night changes everything between you and your ex girlfriend, turned bandmate, Ellie. But will the change be for the better or worse?

Rated: Mature; 18+

---

✮ Intro: The Opener

✮ Chapter 1: What I Want

✮ Chapter 2 | Part One: In My Way

✮ Chapter 2 | Part Two: Silk Chiffon

✮ Chapter 3 | Pink Light

✮ Chapter 4 | After

✮ Chapter 5 | No Idea

✮ Chapter 6 | Coming Soon

---

How You Can Help Palestine!!!

[shawnxstyles]

addicted in the afterglow

DATE: JANUARY 20, 2023

summary: you meet up with harry to have sex again, but it’s completely different from before. it’s hard to stay quiet when interruptions keep knocking on his door. and this time when it’s over, you wonder if you two have something to lose.

words: 5.3k

warnings: SMUT (f- receiving [oral, nipple play], thigh riding, exhibition kink, slight edging, dirty talk, protected sex, i think that’s it?), mentions of drugs and alcohol, language, and angst at the end

note: this is part 3! i’m getting a lot of requests at the moment, and of course when i finished this i realized this was barely one of them 🫠 but enjoy anyway. previous part

—

Remember when you said you would never need him again? Twice? Well, you lied.

In the outrageous group chat that consisted of you and your four friends (did Harry really count?), you had used Harry’s number for the first time.

You hadn’t even labeled his contact, it was just a naked set of numbers. You weren’t even sure if it was his number because he rarely responded in the group chat. However, you didn’t care when you typed out a single word into a message and pressed send.

Y/N: harry.

It wasn’t a question. You could guess his answer. However, you didn’t expect him to answer, since he always complained about how busy he was. His complaints about his time were worthy of your biggest eye roll because he probably spent most of his time fucking every number in his contacts.

Sadly, you soon hoped that would be you.

You named his contact before closing your phone, only for it to light up with a message from the random number instantly.

dickhead: Y/N

You were surprised he knew it was you immediately like he hadn’t labeled your contact to begin with. You considered if you should talk him up a bit or just get to the point. You didn’t want to seem needy or desperate (you were), but you chose the latter.

Y/N: i’m in the mood for some sex. know a guy?

You couldn’t go directly into it. He needs to want it too. Plus, your attitude was part of the package, you couldn’t help it.

dickhead:: I do

dickhead: What’s the catch?

Harry smirked at your messages. His quick response was for a reason. He had pulled out his phone to text you the same thing. It’s like you two were connected in a very twisted way.

He wanted you. So bad.

He was getting close to begging you to have sex. Surprisingly, he hasn’t had sex with anyone but you since you’ve hooked up. He’s gone out to bars and even a few clubs hoping to find a one-nighter, but no one lights him up like you do.

There’s something about your distaste for him that makes him want to pursue you more and more. Something about your passion. Something about your sounds. Something about your smile.

Harry wouldn’t let himself get farther than that. That was a scary place to think. To feel.

But he has been thinking about you nonstop. That stupid, flighty, and tingly feeling that he remembers all too well fiddles with his heart and he hates it. It’s only ever led him down the wrong path.

Why you out of all people? You’re the last person that wants him.

Y/N: i got a girl for you

dickhead: Seems only fair

dickhead: Want his address?

Mild surprise fills your face. It makes no sense for you to go over there when you don’t have a car and you live alone. But you know better than to ask or beg him for anything. His invite must mean Rina and Sean aren’t home anyway. This is very risky, but he always has to make everything so difficult, doesn’t he?

Y/N: i have a pretty good idea where he might live

Y/N: tell him i’ll be there in 20

dickhead: Stalker much?

Heading to your small bathroom, you freshen up before leaving for Rina's place. You refuse to call it Harry’s place when he just moved in there, and you didn’t want to catch yourself slipping in front of your friends. You didn’t notice the small smile on your face until you peeked at the mirror. You wipe it clean off with a shake of your head. Dialing a quick Uber, you pocket your phone and wait for the car to arrive.

Wasting money on him. A shame.

—

Knocking on the front door, you try not to seem impatient and well, horny. It’s only been a handful of days since you two have had sex. But God, did your body crave him. You felt that familiar pulse between your legs while you waited for him to open the door.

A shirtless (and hatless) Harry wides the door. You clench your jaw to keep your eyes on his, so they don’t scroll down his body. His toned, tanned abs cause a flutter in your lower belly and a pool in your panties. You made sure to wear a skimpy pair underneath your leggings. When a small smirk begins to arise on his lips, you push yourself into the house with a grimace, despite the bubbly feeling floating in your stomach.

“So where is he? Looks like I’m at the wrong place,” You sass, arms crossed while he shuts the door. That familiar smirk never leaves his face, ever. He strides past you and up the staircase, discarding your presence completely.

“He might be in here,” He points to what you assume is his bedroom. You roll your eyes with an irritated huff before trailing up the stairs.

His decor is so plain; white walls, brown dresser, queen bed. His bed is coated with gray sheets, which appear soft with little to no wrinkles and a couple of pillows with a single head dent. A solo Led Zeppelin poster sticks to his wall, adding some personality. Stacks of boxes are scattered in the corner and you assume it’s all of his belongings he hasn’t organized yet. Although it lacks so much, his room is so… him. Which you would say he lacks so much, but then you remember the way his thick cock stretched you out and fucked you into oblivion and hold it back.

“Led Zeppelin. Should’ve known,” You nod your head, your arms still crossed. He shuts and locks the door behind you and walks over to his bed, sitting on the edge.

“I have others. I haven’t had time to put everything up,” He simply states, and you try your hardest not to infamously roll your eyes.

He never has time for anything.

“What do you have time for?” You quirk an eyebrow as you slowly make your way over to him until you’re standing in front, basically in between his knees. How did he have time for this? Harry stares up at you and licks his lips. Your heart jumps at the sight, but you refuse to let it flee in your chest.

“You,” His voice lowered, but his tone was soft. Screw your heart fleeing, it was flying around in your chest. He rests his hands on your hips, circling the clothed skin. Your clit throbbed with need while your stomach erupted in butterflies.

What is wrong with you?

You came here for a rough fuck like the last two times you’ve been together. But the energy was different today. Although he was sarcastic and arrogant as per usual, he was softer today. He gazed at you a little too long and his fingers were hypnotizing on your hips. You had a feeling you would get something a bit different today. For some reason, you liked it.

Who have you become?

You followed the soft tug of his hands until you sat on his muscular thighs. Your breathing increased with every passing moment. Your eyes locked with his green ones and you nearly choked just staring at him.

Look away.

But you couldn’t. You were so entranced by him, it scared you. Your clit pulsates heavily and your legs would soon begin to shake around him from seduction. His softness was leaving you speechless; you lost all your wit and attitude that you had had when you first texted him.

“Didn’t expect this, did you, princess?” Harry’s voice is quiet and gentle, completely different from anything you’ve ever heard from him. You thought maybe you really did show up at the wrong house and this was a some multiverse version of Harry. But his words and a gentle squeeze on your hips confirm that this really is your Harry, just… softer. What? “Use your words. Or did you lose them?”

“I…” Your mind was hazy and he hasn’t even done anything. “I didn’t expect this.”

“Good. I like to keep you on your toes. Let’s try something new,” He grips your hips steadily and shifts you onto only his left thigh. You notice his tiger tattoo before he places you gently onto it. You bite your lip just peeking at it. “You like my tattoo?”

His lip curls upwards in a sly smirk and you take a shaky breath, waiting for his next move. Harry begins to slowly rock your hips and you gasp from the sudden friction on your clit. Your leggings on his bare skin shot electricity through your nerves, releasing a whimper from your throat. You lean over, your face in your neck.

What the fuck is going on? You don’t like soft. You like hard and rough. What is…

You thoughts are scrambled when Harry thrusts his thigh upward, causing you to moan into his neck. You continue to grind on him, even when he stops moving you. You increase your rhythm, gripping his shoulders tightly.

“Mm,” Another lustful moan slips from your lips and you’d mentally curse at yourself, but everything felt so good you didn’t care. You run your hands along his bare torso, scratching delicately before he thrusts into you again. You revolve your hips in a circular motion, rubbing your clit dangerously good. “fuck.”

“That’s it. Fuck yourself on my thigh,” He murmurs deeply in your ear and you clench around nothing. Your clit throbbed desperately and you huffed rapidly as your high approached you.

Suddenly, he stops you and you don’t have time to react before he flips you onto his mattress. He hovers over you, deep green eyes searing into yours. Your jaw tightens, frustrated that he edged you.

He does it every time and it just reminds you of why you hate him.

But he always makes up for it with mind-blowing orgasms…

He watches your jaw tick and anger rise, and he can’t help but smile just a bit. He loves annoying you. It means he’s in control.

“I’ve always wanted to taste you. Can I?” Harry’s rough palms return to your hips, playing with the hem of your leggings. You don’t hesitate to nod because it’s rare for a man to want to eat you out.

You can’t deny that you’ve been thinking of it too.

He tugs your pants until they’re completely peeled off and on the floor. He smirks at your legs widening quickly and your wet panties. Harry presses a thumb to your clit, feeling it pulsate under him through the cotton material. You yelp, instinctively rolling your hips into his touch.

Harry feels his rock-solid cock twitch at the sight and feeling. He wants nothing more than to sink so deep into your folds that you forget your own name, but he’s been dying for a taste of you. Hopefully, his mouth can have the same effect.

Although you have an iron-exterior that makes it hard to ever call you sweet, Harry has a feeling you’ll taste better than his favorite candy.

Discarding your panties, he spreads your legs wider than they had been. Heat crawls up your neck as smoke fumes from your ears, impatient and upset that he is going so slow. Your cunt is glistening with arousal, more than ready for him and he’s going slow.

Seeing this, he doesn’t make you wait any longer because you look too delicious to only stare.

The air was cold against your blazing skin until his warm tongue heats up your entire body. Harry’s tongue immediately attaches to your clit, sucking greedily. Your hands fly to his tousled hair, tangling your fingers and yanking. Your free hand palms your breasts through your shirt as your nipples tighten painfully good. He groans against you when you push him into you, sending an electric vibration throughout your whole body.

He gladly explored your cunt, memorizing each inch with his lips. His soothing tongue laps your juices like he can’t get enough of you, like he would die if he didn’t have you.

Your legs tense and find their way around his shoulders. Your back arches achingly as you shove his head impossibly closer. He inserts his skillful tongue into you, eliciting a nosy moan that would surely wake anybody if they were sleeping. It was warm and smooth, and the sensation made your eyes roll to the back of your head.

His delicate acts leading up to this made the pleasure feel dirtier. It made you feel like you were an innocent who just committed a sin. He was the devil and you were an angel.

“Harry, I,” You pant, while your eyes peer down at him. Harry’s nose pokes at your clit when he looks back at you. His glare itself told you he wanted you to come and he wanted it now. Even if he was being soft, he was still secretly in control. You’d never admit that though. “I’m gonna come—”

The blissful wave flushes over you as your head falls back in ecstasy. Back arching, all your muscles spasm and quake as you fall down from your cloud of euphoria. Harry drinks and swallows all of your cum like it was liquid candy in a cup. Your eyes flutter shut as your thighs quiver slightly, attempting to relax. Although he’d been tender from the start, nothing about his desire felt tender. He devoured every drop of you like he was dying of thirst. You’ve never had a man eat you out so vigorously yet sweet, and it was one of the most attractive things you’ve ever experienced.

Why was a part inside of you glad it was from Harry?

“Fuck,” You whine, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. You don’t even have to look at him to feel his smirk seeping through your heated, perspired skin.

“That good?” He crawls up your body, his infamous smug look cascading his face devilishly. He tauntingly swipes the frizzy hair away from your blown-out eyes, admiring your features. Your pupils were huge and your bottom lip was swollen from biting down too hard. Harry wanted to suck it until it bled as you huffed and puffed at his demeanor.

“You didn’t let me finish,” You sass, shooting daggers at him.

“Of course I let you finish. You came all over my—”

“That’s not what I meant!” You shouted and threw your head back into the pillow as familiar heat crept up your neck and ears in embarrassment. Your blood boils in irritation as your fingers fist tightly into your palm. It’s crazy how fast you can change up how you feel. “Fuck you.”

“I’ve been waiting to fuck you. Please, just say the word and I’ll have my cock in you in seconds, princess.” Harry’s voice is gravelly and low, loaded with lust and secret desperation. The control this man has on you is insatiable because you become speechless from his taunting, demanding words. Your clit throbs at his proximity, begging to feel him fill you up.

You hated how easily you gave into him.

You asked for him to fuck you, as politely as you could muster up, which was a heavy stink-eye and a sneer with the word please. You knew he was suffocating in his shorts, cock waiting to be surrounded by your fluttering cunt. You were soaked just thinking about it, and couldn’t wait any longer to have him pounding inside of you.

You discard your T-shirt on the ground. He can’t help but eye your hardened nipples as he rolls on the condom. He licks his lips as he rubs the tip around your drenched folds.

“So wet f’me,” He husks, slowly sliding into you. “Bet I’ll just slip right in. Like I always do—”

His words of foreplay are cut short when the sound of the front door alerts you both. You both freeze, sharing identical wide eyes as the door slams closed. His cock stills halfway inside of you.

“Harry, what the fuck?! I thought you said nobody would be here!” You whispered aggressively in his face. You were terrified, but you tried to hide it by fueling furiously at him.

“I never said that! They were supposed to be gone for hours!” Harry responds in the same hushed, yelling type of tone. Feet pad across the hall, nearing Harry’s bedroom door. You hold your breath in anticipation.

“Harry? You home?” Sean calls, not knocking on the door. Harry licks his lips before giving you one of the smuggest smiles you’ve ever seen. It scares you how he can be so nonchalant about you two damn-near getting caught! His cool demeanor made your fists tighten in annoyance because he doesn’t seem to understand the severity of the current situation.

“Uh, yeah. What’s up?” He answers with clenched teeth. Without warning, he thrusts fully into you, cupping your mouth in case. You gasp behind his rough palm as he pulls in and out deliberately. Your hips roll to grind against his cock, body emerging into his touch. Your heart races at the predicament, horrified of being caught, but your body yearns to continue the discreet, sinful act.

“Going to the pub. Wanna join?” Sean asks, probably leaning against the doorframe as he waits for an answer.

“Bit busy,” Harry tries to hide a groan as he flicks his hips savagely into your suffocating cunt, making your body squirm.

“Ah, finally hooking up again. ‘S been awhile,” He chuckles. “Hopefully, it’s that one girl you’re obsessed over.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at Sean’s words. What girl? There’s been a girl this entire time and Harry never told you? Why was he hooking up with you? You really were just a side chick…

Before your mind can wander anymore, Harry is ramming into you viciously, skin slapping as you silently cry into his hand.

“I’ll see you later,” Sean walks away and eventually the front door closes again.

Harry releases his hand from your mouth and moves it down toward your aching clit. He feels your soaking folds with every pounding thrust, each more brutal than the last. He rubs fast circles on your bundle of nerves, eliciting an echoey moan throughout his plain room.

Harry wanted this to be sweet and sensual to see how you would react, but he couldn’t contain himself around you.

“I knew you liked being fucked in front of our friends. Don’t you?” He taunts, guttural voice seeping through your body causing you to shudder. You shake your head even though you secretly thrived off of it. You clench around him needily and he tsks, removing his thumb from your clit and moving it to your neglected, pointy nipples. “Your body says otherwise.”

You growl when he thrusts roughly, directly hitting your G-spot. Your mouth gaped open and your hands fly up to his muscular shoulders, stabbing him with your nails in bliss. Arching into him, you clutch around his cock desperately, chasing your orgasm as it comes into view.

Suddenly, another door opens and slams shut, but Harry doesn’t stop this time. He only pounds harsher into you and you wrap your legs around his waist to push him deeper. Your heart ricochets off the walls of your ribs, nervous for who you think is at the door as the quick steps approach.

“Harry!” Rina clamors and bangs on the door, clearly upset and irritated. It’s hard to focus on anything in the outside world when Harry indulges into you with every ounce of attention. “I don’t know why you would know this, but do you know where Y/N is? She hasn’t been answering my calls.”

Your eyes widen nervously, like maybe she can sense your presence in his room. The idea of you and him together was basically impossible and most definitely insane, so it wasn’t likely she thought that. Right?

“N-not sure,” Harry moans through his words, lacking disguise, but Rina doesn’t notice. You quietly whimper at his noises, loving his vocalness in bed. Everything that came out of his mouth in the sheets frustratingly turned you on, but everything outside just made you frustrated period.

“She’s been missing my calls more often now that I think about it… do you think something happened that she’s not telling us?” Rina innocently questions, oblivious to that fact that her best friend is getting fucked into oblivion by the most stupid, irritating, and attractive man she’s ever seen.

Harry pulls at your nipples, and you bite your lip harshly to restrain your moans. He twists and tugs until you're spasming uncontrollably around under his weight. You’re so close and he knows it. Harry smirks as your foreheads get damper with the sexual heat and the nervousness of the interaction.

“Maybe she’s with a guy,” Harry hints and you try to hide the gasp that escapes you too quickly. He lowers himself onto you, causing you to feel his warm, chiseled stomach against yours.

His cross necklace lays between your sticky bodies like a reminder about how sinful and wrong this is.

“Come right now. While she’s outside the door. Right fuckin’ now,” He pants, demanding in your ear and there’s not much you can do as you obey.

“Oh my god!! You’re right. I have to go find her!” Rina runs away and you don’t remember if you hear the front door close again as your stomach coils and hips shake. Your eyes squeeze tightly shut as your muscles lock up. Harry covers your swollen lips with his palm once again just in case, muting your muffled moans. Your thighs tremble harshly as your release drains from you. You feel your body levitate from the floating cloud of bliss surrounding you as you huff unsteadily against him.

Similarly, Harry’s teeth stab into his bottom lip as his cock twitches painfully inside of you. His thrusts are sloppy as his thighs clench together. He nearly tumbles off the bed as he releases his load into the condom, overwhelming euphoria cascading over him. You remain still, too many feelings invading your body, but your mind stays hazy.

Harry doesn’t hesitate to discard the condom with a knot and clean you up. He dabs soft tissues over your cunt, sensitive from the recent events. You subtly jerk and then he tosses it in the garbage.

One look at your fucked-our face and Harry was a goner. If he looked at you for a second longer, he would get hard again, so he dips his head away and flicks your shirt at you. He snatches a new pair of boxers and hangs them low on his hips.

As your mind gets back in order, you recall what Sean had said. Harry knew many girls, but he never settled. He wasn’t the type to commit to one person, so when Sean said that it shocked you.

“So who’s the girl? Do I know her?” You inquire as you slip your shirt back on, bottom half still bare. With his back facing you, he clenches his jaw in a straight line.

“He’s bullshitting you.” He’s going to fucking kill him.

“Didn’t sound like it to me. I mean, you’ve missed your daily dose of hook-ups because of her. She must be a pretty big deal,” You smirk as he remains silent.

It never clicks in your head.

You don’t even attempt to get up and leave, you just lay back on his bed with your head nudged into his indented pillow like you were staying. Your eyes gaze at the plain, drywall ceiling like it’s the most intriguing piece of art ever.

He should put a poster up there.

“No, really. He does that to get the girl jealous,” He licks his lips and tags you with a knowing look.

He wasn’t lying. Sean has done dipshit things like that before. But when he said that in front of you, it made his heart race and palms sweaty. He felt… embarrassed? Exposed? He couldn’t quite pinpoint the feeling, but it was volatile and impulsive. It had to be.

But then, in flashes, he remembers the few times he’s seen you smile. He remembers your laughter that he wished he caused. He remembers the moment he first saw a picture of you, and how it was horrible timing when you finally met. All of those moments give him a similar feeling.

Annoying you was entertaining because you were adorable when you were mad, even when you tried to be a biter. If he couldn’t make you smile or laugh, he had to do something. He avoided any sort of feeling because he couldn’t have you, so he had everyone else. He didn’t care, but secretly he did. God, it irritated the fuck out of him that you were an attracter and not a chaser. You had this magnetic pull that made him yearn for you and he hated it. He didn’t even know what he wanted exactly, he just wanted you.

Maybe he loves being in control so much because in the grand scheme of it all, you were the one in control. Whether you knew it or not.

“I am not jealous. There’s nothing to be jealous over,” You sit up on your elbows. You swear you notice the second of sadness in his eyes before he blinks it away. Maybe you only thought you saw it because you yourself felt a pang of sadness in your heart at your own words.

Why did you feel sad at all? You were just two people who had sex occasionally. You’ve hooked up with a handful of people in the past, and Harry a bunch himself. You wouldn’t call yourselves friends with benefits because you weren’t even friends. You couldn’t be anything more even if you tried because of how infuriated you made each other.

So why did you feel any dismay after saying that there was nothing between you two? After three times and being mutual “friends” for months before, you know subconsciously that there was something to lose. If only you could admit it to yourself and Harry, maybe you could be something.

Harry pushed down any and every feeling, convincing himself it was nothing. It was never anything. That’s what you said anyway, so that is what it was going to be. Nothing.

“You should probably go call Rina,” He swallows after multiple beats of silence, the atmosphere shifting. The usual fire in the air was gone, coldness suddenly cascading over you both. You nod distracted, slipping your damp panties and leggings over your shivering legs. For some reason, him telling you to leave felt like a rejection. You didn’t expect him to have you stay, even if he did live alone. But that ever-changing dismay grows over your heart slowly like ice.

Harry shakes his head. He wanted you to stay. He’s never wanted any of his hook-ups to stay. He hasn’t had anyone spend the night since…

Harry never talked about his love life. He didn’t count random sex as his love life, seeing as there is no love there. He’s had one girlfriend in the past. One.

She meant everything to him. Everything that a high school sweetheart was made out to be; sweet, funny, and easy. Sometimes, it felt like their love was fake because of how easy it all seemed. But as he grew up, things grew different between them. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when, but he assumes it all stemmed from jealousy, insecurity, and drugs.

Harry didn’t go out a lot before her. She would drag him to every house party and he would go along with it naively. They drank and smoked together, faded laughter haunting his memory. Now, he tried not to get drunk and high like he used to because he remembered everything that was associated with his past. Weren’t drugs supposed to make you forget everything?

Alcohol. Ecstasy. Mushrooms. Fentanyl.

He’s not religious, but he thanks some higher power every day that he never got addicted. They experimented together in ways that connected people for life. But she wasn’t in it for life like he was. She was it for him. Harry was momentary for her.

He winced when he remembered the nights in some random person’s basement as he slipped a pill down his throat to impress her. He recalls the few nights they stayed in and just lied comfortably on his bedsheets, high on nothing but the presence of each other. The days were better when she wasn’t high because she was herself; the person he fell for.

She was obsessed over those little medicines that she snagged in a baggie, and she changed completely. She got controlling, manipulative, and angry, and horribly enough, Harry felt like he had too. Her twisting words and her mind games made him forget who he was.

Maybe in the real grand scheme of it all, his ex was the real reason why he loved being in control. Because he never was. It took everything in him to walk away, but the feeling still pinches him occasionally.

Like right now, staring at you. His heart ached because it was reminiscing the familiarity of the sweet beating he once had for her. The desire in his chest outweighs the logical facts that his brain wants to listen to. But like he did a few years ago, he finds it in himself to walk away. Or more so, to let you walk away.

As you trudge towards his locked door, you feel yourself about to cry. Water wouldn’t come out, but you had that restricting tension in your chest and that suffocating feeling wrapped around your throat. Hand on the handle, his voice slices through the silence.

“Wait,” He croaks and glides towards you. You don’t move. He couldn’t just watch you go. “do you want to leave?”

“What?” Your voice, quiet and breathy. He was setting you up and it made you anxious. If you said yes, but he didn’t want you to stay, you would have felt rejected twice now. But you knew you couldn’t stay, it was way too risky.

You slowly turn around to face him, denial on your tongue.

“Don’t leave,” Your heart skipped a beat.

“Harry, you know I can’t—”

“Then let’s go somewhere,” He suggests, eyes wandering around your face like he was trying to find an answer to every problem so you couldn’t deny him.

“Where? My place? What if Rina is there?”

“We don’t have to go there. We can go anywhere. Let’s just drive,” His eyes were green and glowy in a silent pleading. They were probably his puppy eyes, and you fell for them.

“I…” It was impulsive because you didn’t have time to get your thoughts or feelings sorted out. You definitely couldn’t do any of that while he was sitting right next to you driving. You felt vulnerable, but agreed. “Okay.”

Checking both ways, you both quietly pad down the stairs. Harry grabs his keys out of the small bowl and then you two head for his car. It was dark outside, late evening most likely. You hopped in the passenger seat as silence filled the air.

The revving of the engine didn’t stop your mind from overthinking as he drove along the empty roads. The tension was heavy with unspoken words that were desperate to be said. You couldn’t find the right ones as your brain scattered to think and your heart pounded with overwhelming emotions.

His words don’t leave echo in your mind. You knew it was odd how sweet and tender he was being when you first walked into his room. But those words felt entirely different from it all. They were laced with so many possible emotions; vulnerability, fear, sadness. You couldn’t depict which one he might be feeling. Maybe all of them.

There was one emotion you didn’t sense in those words, and that deep part inside of you that ached painfully beautiful hoped it was something he never felt when it came to you.

Regret.

—

tags: @harrysgf01 @whitemancumslut @raajali3

[ender1821]

afterglow

prologue posted on ao3: read here!

Secret Life ends with the crumbling of an alliance that was never meant to last, the shine of its very few embers fade into nothing but bitterness, and that should’ve been it.

What Gem didn’t expect was the after part; of all the things that could follow, waking up in an unfamiliar world with an all too familiar face wasn’t what she had in mind.

[cherrycola27]

afterglow

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol and drinking. Military inaccuracies. Allusions to and smut. Friends to lovers. Mutual pining. Unrequited love. Minors DNI. 18+. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

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Chapter 4: Punished You With Silence

The room was silent after Jake's omission. Everyone stood there with wide eyes looking between the two of you.

The shock of the confession cause Coyote, Phoenix, and Bob to lose the hold they had one you.

Before they could stop you, you pounced on Jake, taking him off guard and knocking him to the ground.

"You son of a bitch!" You screamed at him as you landed a few good blows to his face. It took Rooster, Coyote, Payback, Fanboy, Bob, and Maverick to pull you off of him as Phoenix, Omaha, Fritz, Halo, Yale, and Harvard watch on in horror. A few of them went to go get help.

By the time all was said and done, you were sitting in Cyclone's office with bruised knuckles and Jake's blood staining your flight suit.

"Well, Lieutenant Briller, I hope you're satisfied with yourself. Lieutenant Seresin has a broken nose and will have to be grounded until it's healed." He tells you.

"He deserves worse." You scoff and roll your eyes.

"Lieutenant Briller. This is no laughing matter. I could have you court martialed and dishonorably discharge, but for some reason, far beyond my wheelhouse, Lieutenant Seresin begged me not to. He seems to have more grace than you do. Now, I don't know what entanglement the two of you have been in to get yourselves in this situation, nor do I want to know. All I know is that you two will have plenty of time to work through your issues while you are grounded for the next six weeks at minimum." Cyclone states.

"But, sir!" You protest. "There will be no buts, Lieutenant. I've made my decision, and that is final. You'll report for desk duty at 0800 hours tomorrow morning." Simpson finishes before he dismisses you.

You storm out of his office and head to the locker rooms to shower and change.

Once you're clean, you jump in your car and speed over to the Hard Deck. You know Jake and the rest of the crew are probably over there.

You push your way in and find them in their usual corner.

You march right up to Jake, who looks only a little banged up and jerk the pool cue out of his hand.

"I hope you're fucking happy, Jacob. I'm grounded and on desk duty for the next six weeks because of you." You sneer at him.

"I wonder why? Oh, right, because you broke my fucking nose. Be glad that I talked to Cyclone and told him not to arrest you. Yet another reason you should be thanking me." Jake chuckles.

"You are such a fucking asshole Jacob Seresin. Do you get off on being such a god damn menace to the world? Like seriously, what is your fucking problem?" You yell at him.

"You. You're my fucking problem. And you lost the right to call me anything other than Hangman the minute you broke my nose." Jake sneers.

"Oh, I forgot you hated being called Jacob. You didn't seem to mind me calling you that when you were balls deep in me though, did you?" You click your tongue at him. The rest of the squad watches on, afraid to intervene.

Jake freezes, unsure how to respond. "I don't even know why I'm here. You don't care about anything I have to say. You've made that abundantly clear that you don't care about anyone other than yourself." You scream at him.

"I've spent a year and a half of my life hung up on you, hoping that one day you would change. I can't believe I let you string me along and waste my time." You spit.

"And you want to talk about how you're the reason I'm here. I'm the reason you're here, Jacob." You grit out.

"What are you talking about, Glow?" He demands.

"When the Navy was recalling people for this mission, they asked me first. They wanted me for the mission. I asked if I would be flying with you, and I was told they weren't taking pairs from squadrons. They were afraid that when it came down to it, the pairs would he more loyal to each other than to the success of the mission." You explain to him.

"I told them I couldn't fly with another pilot. I didn't trust anyone else in the box. They understood and moved on. Three days later, you tell me you're going back to Top Gun and flying a single seater. I was loyal to you, but you were more than happy to throw me under the bus and gallivant into the sunset on your own." You finish.

"Y/N, I—I had no idea." Jake breathes out, visibly softer than before.

"Of course you didn't. You didn't care to ask. So before you go and act like you did me some favor by having me transferred here, make sure you have all the facts straight, sweetheart. As soon as my desk duty is up, I am putting in a request to be transferred back to Lemoore. Hell, maybe I'll request somewhere on the East Coast, I don't care at this point, just so long as I can get the hell away from you!" You take a deep breath before turning on your heels and walking out of the near silent bar. Just before you leave, you yell over your shoulder. "Too bad I couldn't have knocked out a tooth, too!"

You let out a shakey breath when you make it to your car. You'd just pulled into your garage when you let the tears fall. Once you had composed yourself, you vowed that these would be the last ones you shed over Jake Seresin.

.............

Desk duty was the absolute worst. You hated pushing pencils and not being in the air. You hated it even more because Jake was stationed right across from you, and every day, you had to look at his stupid, no longer perfect face.

He was also the worst office-mate. He clicked and tapped pens, hummed too loud, slurped his coffee, and never sat still. Everything he did agitated you.

You did your best to bury yourself in the paperwork. Jake, however, spent most of his time trying to figure out how to apologize to you. How could he tell you that he was worried you would reject him? How could he face you and say that he'd been in love with you since the first moment he met you. How could he tell you that he couldn't bear the thought of flying without you?

He needed help, so he went to the one person he thought might be useful in this situation.

"Bob, how do I fix things with Glow?" Jake asked him one day after work.

"Bagman, please don't drag me into your drama." Bob sighed.

"Bob, please, I'm desperate." Jake pleaded with him.

Bob sighed. He knew he was going to regret this. "In my experience, when my wife and I get into a heated disagreement, a good romantic gesture goes a long way." Bob told him before leaving.

A romantic gesture? Jake could work with that.

While Jake was trying to win you back, you were trying to stay as far away from him as possible. You were currently at your house with Phoenix, pouring your heart out to her.

"So the two of you have been doing this for almost two years?" She asked you, shock all over her face.

"Yep." You replied, taking a sip of wine.

"It was fine at first, but then—my feelings got in the way. I tried to break it off. We said 'one last time,' more times than I care to count. A few weeks ago, I asked him to stay the night. I'd never asked him that before. He told me I would, but—he didn't." You breathe out.

"Do you love him?" Phoenix asked you. "I did. But he broke my heart. I let him break my heart. And the thing is, I'd take him back in a heartbeat. I'm not strong enough to tell him no." You sighed.

"Do you want to take him back?" Phoenix pressed.

"I just want him to care about me the way I care about him. But I know, even if he did, he'd never admit it. He's too stubborn. Plus, we could never go back to the way we were before." You admit to her.

"So, what are you going to do?" Phoenix asks you.

"I'm going to transfer. I can't be around him. I can't let myself be hurt by him again. He made his feelings clear. And I have to accept that." You tell her.

"I've already let the admirals know. In three weeks, when my suspension is up, I'll be able to go back to Lemoore. Got the papers today. My old captain said a spot is mine if I want it. All I have to do is sign them and turn them in." You say. She nods her head.

"You know you don't have to go, Glow." Phoenix tries to reason with you.

"I do, Nix. I've spent so long putting other people first. I have to take care of me." You assure her.

"Well, I guess we'd better make a bunch of memories these next three weeks then." She laughs. "I know everyone is at the Hard Deck right now. Want to go?" She asks you.

"No, I don't think that is a good idea. Plus, I have some packing to do anyway." You tell her. She hugs you before she leaves. You hang your head and turn to the pile of boxes in the corner of the room. You grab an empty one and begin to fill it. A few tears slip down your cheeks. You really didn't think you would be doing this again, packing up your life. You thought this would be your last station. But, life never goes according to plan.

..............

"Bagman!" Phoenix shouts at him as soon as she enters the Hard Deck. "Why must you yell Phoenix? My nose is already broken. Are you trying to bust my ear drums, too?" Jake groans. Natasha doesn't respond. She flicks Jake on the tip of his nose and grabs him by the ear before dragging him to a bar stool and forcing him to sit.

"Nat, what the fuck is your problem?" He asks her.

"My problem? Try what the fuck is your problem!" Phoenix tells at him.

Jake looks at her with confused eyes.

"Glow is leaving." She tells him. The rest of the squad had gathered around to see what was going on. Murmers that echoed the news Natasha had just given them swirled around the group.

"Glow isn't leaving. She was just mad and said that to be mean." Jake shrugs.

"No, she meant it. I saw her papers with my own eyes. She said she talked to your old captain and he said she could come back. All she has to do is sign her request papers and turn them in to Simpson for it to be finalized. She leaves in three weeks. She's already started to pack. Glow was being serious when she said that." Phoenix explains to him.

The blood drains from Jake's face.

"No, she has to be kidding. She can't leave." He stands up abruptly.

"She said she can't keep being around you. That it hurts too much because you'll never care about her the way she cares about you. She told me she had to put herself first for once." Nat tells him.

"But I do care about her. I've always cared about her." Jake defends himself.

"No, you don't, Jake. Not the way she deserves. You don't hurt the people you care about. You don't take them for granted." Phoenix tells him.

Jake wants to argue with her, but he knows that Natasha is right.

"I have to go talk to her. Right now." Jake exclaims before slamming some bills on the bar and running to his truck.

Think dark clouds hang in the air. By the time Jake makes it to your house, rain is pouring down.

He jumps out of his truck and runs to your door and pounds on the wood with his fist. It seems like he spends an eternity waiting for you to answer.

"Jake?" You say when you open the door. He moves to come in, but you block his way.

"What are you doing here?" You ask him. You take in the sight him him, out of breath and drenched from head to toe.

"Are you really leaving? Phoenix says you're leaving in three weeks. Please tell me she's lying." He gasps.

"She's not. I got my papers today." You tell him.

"Glow. Y/N, you can't leave. You can't leave me." Jake says, a sob threatening to crack his voice.

"Why not, Jake? You left me. You left me over and over again. It's my turn to do the leaving." You say. You see the hurt flash across his eyes.

"Y/N—I— please. What can I say? What can I do to get you to stay?" Jake pleads with you.

"Nothing. I've made up my mind. You should leave. It's late." You say as you try to close your door. He wedges his foot to stop it.

"Y/N, please. I'm begging you. Please don't go. Give me another chance. Let me make this right. Please, Y/N. I love you. I can't lose you." Jake begs. Tears streak his face and mix with the rain drops.

"Oh, Jake. You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that. But it's too little, too late. In case you forgot, this was what you wanted." You tell him.

"But—" He protests.

"All you had to do was stay, Jake. I wasn't asking you to wake up the next day and confess your undying love for me. You broke my trust, you broke my heart, and you broke me." You told him.

"Glow—" He reached for you.

"Stop, Jake. You made your choice, and now you have to live with it. Now, please, get off my porch." You said as you shut the door in his face, leaving him standing there in the rain.

Jake stood there in silence, staring at your door, rain pelting his skin.

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to the wood.

"Glow, please. Please open the door." He begged you.

He waited, praying you would open in and tell him you had changed your mind. But as the seconds went by, he realized that your door wasn't going to open back up.

After accepting his fate, Jake walked back to his truck. He climbed in and sat the silence and shivered from the chill that was setting in.

Never in a million years could he imagine losing you. You brought so much warmth and light to his life, and now that he could feel it fading away, he knew he had to do something—and he needed to do it fast.

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!

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