#ffs this game is ridiculous sometimes

[zac-n]

Bruh wdym??? You'd think that the literal GOD wouldn't know if his daughter reincarnated as a human? Like maybe Michael wouldn't know but God???

[dutchdread]

Hey Dutch what is your opinion on crises core reunion ? I had few ca tell me it didn’t do anything for zack and aerith relationship it just made things worse ? I don’t know we’re they get that belief from but it’s there opinion. Did you think the story was ok and gave good context on what they mean to each other?

People give too much flack to Crisis Core. I only played the original CC back on the PSP so I can't say anything about whether or not Reunion made it better or worse, but I enjoyed the original. But part of that is because I simply had lower expectations for portable games than I do for AAA pc or console titles. I won't deny that the game has a bunch of stuff that could have been done better (Cough, genesis, cough), but it had its strong points as well. I think some of the basic concepts of Crisis Core are good in principle, like theme of hopes and dreams, and watching how Zack through adversity unwillingly becomes the hero that he always wanted to be. But the execution was often lacking. I love the idea of watching a several friends slowly break, and I think there is potential in tying that story into them being "monsters" and exploring what it really means to be a monster vs being a hero. But again. The way it was handled made it rather ridiculous and overly obtuse. The constant quoting of Loveless, ESPECIALLY without it ever getting a clear meaning that allows the player to connect with it, Angeals random dramatic self-pity, and a bunch of other stuff just made it so that storywise a lot of the bad overshadowed the good. But I played CC for Zack and Aerith, and they were perfect in my opinion.I loved seeing Aerith like an actual 16 year old girl and how her time with Zack rubbed off on her and caused her to start living every day to the fullest. I still think that the scene with Aerith hugging Zack from behind is one of the most romantic scenes in FF, simply because of how viscerally real it is. Her trying to make small talk, him just being there, choosing to mourn in the presence of the woman he loves, not needing to be consoled, but just needing her presence. And then that hug "sometimes you don't need words to tell a person how you're feeling" indeed. This is also a part of the reason I am convinced Aerith was still projecting Zack onto Cloud at the end of Rebirth "our place", "the church", Yeah right. For Cloud and Aerith the church is just a place they happened to spend about 5 minutes at one point, not even the place they met. Meanwhile Zack went there to see her for I think about one and a half years. He goes there instantly in intergrade, he goes there in Rebirth, we see him waiting there for Aerith at the end of rebirth, the core visual for Crisis core was changed to TAKE PLACE IN THE CHURCH. But the Church is Cloud and Aeriths place.....yeah right. Either that is an intentional hint that Aerith is still projecting, or the writing has fallen off a cliff. Then we have the other character moments, Cloud and Tifa pining for each other, the parallels between Cloti and Zerith. Zack promising Aerith he'll come for her underneath the water tower. And my favorite Aeriths "23 tiny little wishes", all encompassed in the one with to "spend more time with Zack". Which is then ultimately fulfilled via Cloud in the OG/rebirth. And then of course there is the ending, my favorite ending of any game ever aside from Nier:Automata. Man I bawled my eyes out. So yeah, I like Crisis Core, it's messy, but it's messy with a lot of gold in it, and for a portable title I think that's not half bad.

[positivelybeastly]

If beast specialized in a certain job class what would it be?

So, by job class, I'm guessing you mean the classic Final Fantasy job classes, like Warrior, Thief, Red, White, Black and Blue Mage, etc, yeah? My only experience with Final Fantasy is with 7 Remake, XV, and a bit of XII, so I'm not aware of every class in every game, BUT.

My gut instinct says Monk.

Primarily a melee fighter with a heavy focus on quick combos using both fists and feet? Why, yes, that is Hank McCoy, actually.

It's often forgotten about now, but Hank often used to fill the Big Guy/Bruiser role on the teams he was on. In conjunction with his ridiculous speed, agility, and dexterity, he's often grouped into the same level of unarmed combatant as Spider-Man or Captain America, as evidenced here.

Cap is holding back, trying to get Hank to snap out of the trance he's in, but even before he starts obviously throwing the fight, Hank is making him work for it. And this is Hank at his weakest! Before his feline mutation or his modern mutation, both of which made him faster, stronger, and more deadly.

That being said, I could also see an argument for Sage/Scholar, for his medical and support skills - in the game Marvel Snap, for instance, Hank is an essential card for the Bounce archetype.

You bring your cards already played here back into your hand, often buffing other cards when you do so, and get to re-play them again next turn with a cost reduction. He also allows you to get rid of cards with negative power, and send them back at your opponents.

Bounce as a deck archetype requires a lot of forethought and careful planning to use correctly, it isn't as plug and play as an Ongoing, Destroy, or Disruption deck. That being said, it's my favourite deck type, and it's satisfying as all hell when a Beast bounce comes off just right.

I also really enjoyed using him in the old tactics game Marvel: Avengers Alliance, which is sadly defunct now, but I have very good memories of it.

Why, yes, all of his attacks are named after books. Of course they are.

But yeah, again, heavily buff and debuff based - he has his brute force attacks, which are very effective, but Grapes of Wrath and War and Peace were particularly useful, especially in the PVP mode and in the harder boss fights. His alternate skin, where he's a Horseman of the Apocalypse, was often considered a top tier team pick because it altered those skills to be even more potent.

But, of course, the other FF class I can see applying to Beast is the Machinist. Because every now and then, fists can't solve the problem.

Sometimes you just need a fucking gun.

[akimojo]

Reading all the stupid takes about ffxiii really makes me wish someone would make an essay video tackling all the criticism the game receives and providing counterarguments in order to shed some positive light on it. I'm so tired of all the forced, unnecessary hate. I'm in the process of writing my own book. For me, the most important aspect of a story is the characters, the way they grow over time and the bonds they establish with each other. That's always been what I look forward to the most in media, and I take so much inspiration from ffxiii, its characters and their development! Although I don't personally think everything is *perfect*, there's so much that's just so damn well written and it's mind-boggling to me how so many people accuse it of being bad? At first I thought that maybe I didn't understand the criticism because ffxiii was the first ff I played; but after I played more games, I still didn't couldn't comprehend how it's so commonly considered one of the worst in the series. Ffx is one of my favorite games of all time but it's crazy how it gets so much praise when ffxiii gets hated on for doing similar things (the linearity, for example). Hell, out of all the ff games I've played, I'd say ffxiii is the one which gives us a cast that goes through the MOST character development. To say they remain "bland" and "stagnant" until the very end directly goes against the premise of the game. They defied fate and destiny, all while gradually turning into different, better versions of themselves. But this is never brought up whenever people talk about the game. The hate is so loud that I start to question my media literacy sometimes. It feels like I'm being gaslighted into believing the story is awful and the characters are stagnant and one-dimensional 😭

Dude I feel the exact same way 😭 it's especially frustrating now that 15 and 16 both came out with a pretty underdeveloped cast (dlc aside because cmon...) like?? No one appreciated a fully developed main cast when they had the chance fjshkshd

There are a couple of ff13 video essays, but the ones I've watched never actually debunk all the ridiculous criticism. Now that you mention it I would kill for one that just goes down a list of criticism/overhated parts of the game and thoroughly discusses them all like we do here on a regular basis lmao

And good luck with your book! It's super cool that you're taking inspiration from ff13! Character development really is the most interesting part of any story 🥹

[mothmage]

WIP Tag Game

sorry i'm like a week late to this but i was tagged by @apoptoses and @aunteat , thank you!!!

RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

ok so fair warning my titles are boring (i've copied them as-is, including weird capitalization lol) and these are all in varying stages of "written," but (excluding non-VC WIPs):

ArmandDaniel x Birdcage

armands dubai interview

body thief armand

devils minion mindspell star wars [this one got chopped up into multiple one-shots instead]

FF rashda - DUBAI

marius armand portrait of a lady on fire au

reverse dm

Dani the DM

(i tried not to double-tag anyone, but tumblr is hard to follow sometimes so sorry if any of y'all have already done it) no pressure tagging @lovevamp @bubblegum-blackwood @fofoqueirah @molloyboi @graygiantess

[witchloversupreme]

So, I was thinking about Garlemald lore again, because I'm mentally ill and obsessed, and I had a kinda fucked up thought. Explaining it is gonna take some doing, so stay with me.

If the garlean historians are to be believed (and the Sharlayans agree (As seen in Encyclopaedea Eorzea 1), so they're likely correct), roughly 1500 years ago, the garlean people lived in Corvos alongside the G tribe, in a situation probably not dissimilar to the M and Ala Mhigo, with a sedentary tribe fairly peacefully sharing their territory with a nomadic one.

Okay, so, here's where shit gets a little bit tricky.

There is only the ONE race of Garleans (Unless you count Jullus and Cid as a different race for being Short Kings), unlike all the other species of humans, who have at least two (Midlanders/Highlanders, Xaela/Raen, Dunesfolk/Plainsfolk), and sometimes even three (Duskwights/Wildwood/Ishgardians, Hellsguard/Sea Wolves/Far Eastern). This implies a very, very small, and very specialized population. A population that could, very easily, be displaced by a larger, more powerful group, like (as the historians posit) a large tribe of Elezen from what would later become Bozja, who, very likely, were themselves, forced from their homelands by invading Roegadyn and Hrothgar. If this tribe was sufficiently large (and magically skilled) enough, they could have very easily expunged the proto-Garleans from Corvos and forced them northward.

The Garlean historians claim that this forced exodus pushed them all the way into north central Ilsabard, but this is incredibly unlikely, as no matter how devoted to a people's total annihilation a tribe may be, hounding them the entire distance from Fantasy Greece to Fantasy Siberia is more than a bit ridiculous. But I digress.

What is more likely is that the Garleans were forced more westward, nearer to proto-Werlyt, where they likely settled for a time, before expanding north into the mountains which cut the continent in half (it is still violently upsetting to me we don't have a full map of Ilsabard). A few centuries of relative peace followed, where the proto-Garleans expanded ever so slightly further north, before, once again, they lost a war, most likely one against Hyurs and Raen from either Proto-Werlyt or Proto-Thavnair, and lost their southerly territories.

With no other option but continue colonizing northward, the Garleans did exactly that, eventually founding "Garlemald", the city, a few decades later, and the rest is, quite literally, history.

Now, with that lore dump out of the way, we can get to the real meat of my thought.

Almost all evidence points towards the Garleans simply being another species of human, just like Hyurs, Elezen, and Au ra, and not a "created species", like the Ixal, and, therefore, they definitely had a mirror race on the other shards.

But where the fuck are they?

I have seen neither hide nor hair of a single Garlean, be it in the flesh, as a statue, or in a tomb in Amh Areng, Kholusia, Lakeland, or Rak'tika. There's absolutely nothing to show that the Garlean people existed on the First, which is very, very fucking strange, as even the Amalj'aa and Ixal (sort of) have mirrors on the First in the form of the Zun and the Amaro.

I can think of two answers to my question:

The Doylist answer, (which is much less interesting), is just that Square either forgot to make any Garlean NPCs for the first, or decided against depicting First!Garleans, possibly because the race both didn't have an equivalent from a previous FF game, like the Hrothgar/Ronso, or Elezen/Elves, nor were playable, like like the Au ra/Drahn, or, because the Garleans are the go-to "Bad Guy Race" and they didn't want to confuse players.

The Watsonian answer, (and the one I subscribe to), is that the First!Garleans are extinct, having been driven to the brink by The Flood and over the edge in the ensuing century of strife, alongside many, many other species and peoples.

[randomnameless]

The phrase “we have been aware of the high levels of competency from KT's writers, especially with their work for 3H” is worrying; i'm not going to shit-talk them just for thinking that 3H has a good story, especially when someone's standards for what makes a story good or not is subjective and could be different from ours, but KT's story-telling skills are never going to improve if people keep only telling them that Three Houses' deeply-flawed story was actually a narrative masterpiece, instead of a self-contradicting mess with plot points it introduces solely as gotchas and has no intention of ever following up on in any meaningful way, characters getting assassinated left and right to try and argue that female Ashnard might actually be right and not so different from them in terms of morality and goals (while they're in the middle of fighting for their lives and watching their friends die in battle because she decided to invade their home unprovoked and solely for a landgrab), and an over-powered villain group that should have ended the story long before it even started because the writers decided to give them a stockpile of magic nukes they can launch at anywhere in the world, which was also introduced solely for shock value and without them realizing how much of the story is ruined by making it so that the villains who want to kill everyone and take over the world can just nuke anyone they want (that isn't inside Garreg Mach when they launch it) with no consequences.

I just don't like what it means for the future of FE stories if the worst story in the series keeps getting praised as one of the best, even by separate developers, is all.

Wait and see anon!

For what it's worth, while Engage's sales are apparently not as stellar as Houses in the same timeframe (like House after month 1 and Engage after month 1?), Nopes totally crashed.

Amazon isn't the only market in the world, but in some places in the world (tfw not for amazon.fr) Nopes is now sold at around 15 bucks, which is ridiculous considering older games released on consoles still being in circulation are more expensive than this thing that is barely 1 year old(even the first FEW?).

Also, Engage was supposed to have been released earlier but Covid and Houses being released later than planned meant it was delayed, but Engage was supposed to be Fodlan's antithesis, at least writing wise - you'd think IS would have tried to retrofit more Fodlan themes (maybe more uwu maybe some villains aren't BaD and earl grey because they luf u) but they didn't.

Imo, fwiw, while KT apparently loved how Fodlan was received, IS is aghast and doesn't want to touch it within a 10 meters radius, only if it means selling units in FEH and even there, they sometimes retcon Fodlan units (hello F!Billy/Sothis) or challenge them in various FB (Brave!Supreme Leader, but also in the most recent one, Sylvain harping on his Crust being BaD...) clearly showing how they don't really want to follow KT's direction regarding those units - at times, it's almost as if the CoS receives more development in Heroes than in both Fodlan games!

So I'd like to see what IS has in store for the next FE games (or the next non remake FE game), even if in my opinion, given how Heroes has to retcon/finish the writing (Mercedes reveals more about her Adrestian family in FEH than in two of her games!) for characters just to sell them in the gacha game ffs, speaks volumes on what they think of Fodlan's writing.

On top of that, FE16 was the first game where people received surveys/mails from Nintendo/IS asking them if they understood the game... - so despite Fodlan selling well (better than expected?), imo it's clear the writing isn't to praise, at least for IS, and they don't want anything to do with it (Nopes' DLC was scrapped, when shiny!Rhea's sprite was datamined, so either they made an useless sprite, either this sprite might have been used in a future DLC?)

They can still butcher a future remake (plz no jugdral) by adding pointless supports between units and trying to uwu more than needed the red emperor - or add an OC waifu du jour who will sell merchs and try to uwu her if she is on the side of the red emperor - but I feel like we will see where they will go with a brand new game (since Heroes's writing is... as consistent as a fog and basically circles around "women sad'n'lonely*, men evyl", female playable OC simps after the avatar and is useless in the resolution of the plot because Alfonse will finally find a mc guffin way to defeat the villain of the year).

*i truly hope Vero isn't any indication to what the writing of the future games will be, like heavy retcons from her first apparition to "i was brainwashed and akshually everyone supports me from my home even if i send them to death against askr because the voice in my head told me to do it" because that'd suck, but vero is a young woman, thus she could be monetised for alts, figurines and even DLC content in a main game!

[foxoftheninetails]

You sly dog, you got me monologuing!

Why not?

So I've gotten back into FFXIV pretty hard since I tried it last year. A few friends really pushed me, and I'm enjoying it. Good story, good music. The combat still feels a little bit wonky, but I'm an old school FF player and this is my first MMORPG.

The best times are when my friends aren't busy and they can run dungeons with me, or we explore areas they've seen 100 times and as I explore this new place they tell me about it's history and memories they have of it.

The game is mindblowingly gorgeous. Every time I revisit Gridania and sneak back to my favorite perch at The Hawthorne Hut, I am entranced by the leaves flowing in the wind, the rain falling on a roof, or the ridiculous amount of stars shining in the night sky.

(I know, anyone who's played already knows this, sue me; I am sprout.)

A couple of weeks ago we ran the Alexander raids together, and it was an absolute joy to watch experts play and simultaneously nurture their adopted sprout. Yesterday we visited Ivalice, and I was able to fall in love with the FFT soundtrack all over again and see old friends.

The community has been extremely kind. When my friends are busy, or trying to find some peace for themselves (or hitting the new expansion hard!) and I am left to my own devices, I have come across almost universal support. New job class and running a dungeon for the first time? They'll give you tips, let you run at your own pace, and when you screw up? They pick you up, dust you off, and encourage you to try again.

An unintentional side effect of immersing myself in another FF universe is RP. And no, not ERP. Although that exists, I have not had an opportunity to explore it. (I'm 100x more shy in a video game than on Tumblr, go figure)

We go to a quiet bar, torment ourselves with exotic food that we don't get to eat and drinks that sound terrifying or delectable. Sometimes both. And we talk. We talk to each other, as our characters. Intricate backstories that span a whole game and four expansions, almost 1000 primary quests. These folks have spent years perfecting their characters story.

Now, I had no concept of how in depth this was when I walked into that bar. A simple question about where you're from can spawn conversations that run for hours, with everyone having an opinion on the country you're from. Just don't be Garlean. My first night, I was asked what I do for a living. I said adventurer, because that's a fairly typical answer. I was immediately swept under their wing, to be given tips on how to clear Copperbell more efficiently, what weapon I should be carrying, where to find the cheapest gear that will protect you and look good.

My god, the clothes in this game. Hundreds of articles for each portion of the body. There's a whole website dedicated to picking out the perfect outfit for your gunslinger or white mage.

The best trick? Have loving friends who send you the really sick Converse/Vans, despite your protests. When you push them for why? Because I wanted them. (For reference, decent boots run 30k gil on the market board, the Converse/Vans run 750k because the materials are hard to come by. Needless to say, I have run the last 28 levels wearing orange sneakers, and I look fucking good doing it.

So back to the RP, the original point of this post. Last week, I was sitting in the bar talking about places I wanted to visit (in character, I have already been there for the quests). Mor Dhona was mentioned, as it's the site of on of the most pivotal moments in the story: The Calamity.

When it was recommended to me, my character pulled out a worn leather journal and wrote it down. An innocuous but important detail, to make the immersion feel deeper. The journal was passed around, returned to me, and eventually put away. Not even a physical thing, it spurned a long conversation about the adventurer's life, and the trials they undergo.

Then, my brain said something to me a couple of days ago. What if the journal was real? Tangible, physical, something detailing my characters adventures as that happen, stuffed with "drawings" (my character can draw, I cannot. At all. I have an ink jet printer and an app that converts jpegs into very convincing sketches) and souvenirs from his adventure's?

Sounds a bit silly, but it would be an easy way for me to track the details of conversations, and giving me a little arts and crafts project, as a treat.

So I did it. I bought a (frankly overpriced) leather journal with a compass rose sewn onto the cover with black thread. Beautiful sturdy leather and crisp cream pages.

Then I set about bringing it half way to destroyed. A leather journal carried in the field, through the rain and rivers, into combat, through the snow and up mountains does not stay immaculate for long. My character has had the journal for about 4 months, so I needed to beat it up and give myself a head start. Scuff the leather, soften the edges, curl the whole thing so it never sits flat. Drip a little bit of sealing wax on the cover, put small punctures into the back and knicks out of the corners.

The pages? Some got the tea treatment, to try to age them. No dice, this damn modern paper is resistant to stains. Water stains are forthcoming, but I am an impatient being and already started writing in it. Then a revelation came to me.

I am an absolutely massive fan of FFVIII. Obsessed with it. I know the names of every song in the OST and where each song is used, I have the Lionheart necklace and ring, I have beaten Omega on multiple occasions for fun. Anyone who knows me know I am an FFVIII nerd, and I ain't sorry.

So when I was designing my character last year, the face has scar options. Well, what better choice than Squall's scar? I'll have some of that I said.

Well, my character is from a small, relatively peaceful fishing village. Where the hell did he get that ridiculous scar?! The first job he took, of course! But alas, he was carrying his journal with him when he was injured, and it seems it soaked up quite a bit of blood. Some recommended beet juice. I tried raspberry tea, cherry juice, pomegranate concentrate. Nothing. Oddly, the tea dyed the test page blue.

What time of the year is it? Halloween of course! So we buy some fake blood and I'll be damned if it doesn't look like the real thing. It stains the pages, and the rough parts of the leather.

Now, just 4 or 5 days later, it has a leaf from Gridania from the day my character arrived there, drawings of the aetheryte station, some of the people he's met along the way and some of the more impressive geographic features (the ones that coincidentally took my breath away), and even a Triple Triad card. There are plans to visit the Sea of Clouds and meet the Vanu Vanu, so we'll be tucking a feather into the pages. So many other things await.

This has become a (probably for you, dear reader, painfully) long post about my current autistic obsession. I am particularly proud of this journal. While I was inspired by another persons comment, the execution was all mine. So, having gotten to the bottom of this essay, either by scrolling or reading, I have but one question: Do you wanna see the journal?

edit: it will literally only take one person saying yes.

[katyspersonal]

i get what you mean, with the fandom being so slow and the in-groups being so tight-knit that it's really hard to get involved and you end up always afraid of stepping "out of line" and losing visibility that any breath of fresh air is good enough. and also most new people who seem promising seem to quickly join with the in-groups, too. i don't know if you can relate, but there are some people who just appeared a while ago who i wish i could speak to but since they already associated with someone who is already known for not play nice, i end up just keeping my distance...

Ahhhhh shoot yeah, sometimes I wonder if this image of the fandom is just my delusional hallucination... but then people that can see more than me sorta confirm it, and now you do too, so I guess I still have it in me to complete the correct picture from only small pieces. I can't really relate to the "fear of losing visibility" though as someone who occasionally does followers purge to prevent becoming popular, but I can relate to feeling the pit in my stomach when a new fan quickly latches onto the "bad guys" or their "sponsors" x)

It is also for this reason why our group of mutuals (the so-called Lore Council) and OUR "sponsors" (I just think this is a very funny word for avid supporters sorry xD) do whatever we can to look unassuming and goofy, as well as prevent possessiveness or control-freakery within our camp? We even almost never block people, ffs. Nobody should be forced to choose the covenant (in passive fandom state) or side (in active fandom drama state). And the interesting bit? Some people didn't! And you can only find out by coming forward! I am not sure whether by "not play nice" you mean starting pointless media literacy discource or really hardcore stuff such as slander, stalking and harrassing but in either case, you see a fan that interests you interact with 'em? Interact with that fan too! One or several of the people you wanna avoid sending asks to that fan or tagging them in a meme or even drawing their OC does NOT mean they have marked their territory like a dog or whatever! We are all civilized adults here, not animals. Show 'em that they did not "claim" this person by just interacting first, show 'em that you are not afraid and you will show interest and support to whoever you damn please! You will find that actually enough people do not consider themselves to be a part of the "covenant" and thus obligated to stick to some rules and blacklists- and heck, many will feel defensive if peer-pressured to play this ridiculous game!

Yeah yeah,, I knowww, easier said than done x) Still, many people who are sensitive to the conflict (active or passive) keep mistaking someone from "another camp" interacting with The Guy for the possessive boyfriend grab thing, which it isn't. If anything, any new fan will be the happier the more interactions they get, they just wanna discuss their ideas, no matter with who! And if they do decide to disown you... well, isn't it better to find it out for sure when it happens, instead of just assuming the worst from the get go?

[mrstsung]

Mortal liu kang over dumb fire god liu kang

Vent ahead. Sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cuz dumbass fire god liu kang did fucking nothing. Nothing worth a damn. Didn't change anything. All mk12/mk1 proved is they can't write god characters and they make them fucking useless. What actual divine authority do they really have?! Eldergods mean nothing. These fucking titans are the stupidest useless plotpoint. Nothing actually changes or gets done. Everyone still suffers,no matter what they fucking change?! So.....yeah....what fucking new era is called a new era,if nothing actually happens? Some characters are ruined because the dynamics are changed in a way where it's not actually the character. It's someones oc fanfic. Legitimately NOTHING CHANGES. It's legitimately mk11 2 electric boogaloo. And using shang tsung again as the main baddie? Sus as fuck. You got nothing new? You gotta use my boy as a plot point again because you ran out of tagawa money? You couldn't get him again because your script sucks! Im not being nice,im being raw and the truth is and sometimes it hurts,you could have fucking stopped nrs and made your dumb superhero injustice game like all you stupid braindead fans wanted. But noooooo! You had to continue a storyline that's been fucking dead and is done. Mk11 wrapped it up nice. Both guys won anyways. It's already hinted at. Why go any more? It's fucking done. Shang won,liu won. End of story. Bye bye. Like ffs,mk spinoff game would have sufficed. Most fans wanted a mk shaolin monks remastered. Most fans didn't want a continuation. They just were doing fun fan theories as they always do that doesn't mean we want a new fucking game or continuation. Speaking of which. What did you actually continue? There's nothing to continue. New world? Dont fucking feel like it. If it was. You wouldn't be using the same fucking bad guy. Nor same roster. Nor would you be fucking over integral parts. You'd be actually writing something new. In a new world. That isn't basically high def of the same fucking world. Rebranding your shit isn't making it new or better! It's all to put money in your ips so you can renew shit and fuck over your fanbase. Im sorry but i hope nrs gets fucked over and boon gets a thousand hammer death. For real.

Thanks for nothing boon. The game is garbage worthless,like your job.

Mk12/mk1 is bullshit because there actually is integral lore to mortal kombats world and character archs and they ruined the characters and story by trying to be "look at me,im not like other games guys!" Pick me ass shit.

But back to liu

Liu kang,when mortal. Got more shit done. Abit it was very plot convenient for him to win. Hardly any real struggles after the first fucking arch of his journey. Aka the real mk1. The last time i saw any struggle was in the mk 1995 movie. And even then that was still Hollywood,convenient win.

Like i just want a story where liu kang stays fucking mortal. And liu actually struggles and has realistic ups and downs throughout his life and heroes journey?

Still got more done. And he had fucking actual help. And friends.... as a god he made the same mistakes as raiden yet gets none of the flack. Fuck outta here. Nah liu kang as a god sucks and all who like that version of him can fuck right off

Also that fusion bullshit that happened in mk11 is ridiculous. And a cop out. Everything in the story thus far....is a fucking cop out.

It's lazy LAZY LAZY WRITING

I get it,they don't want the same dudes on the roster. But....guess what? You do it anyways nrs?! Is wb fucking you over in the ass? Just blink twice if they are. Like that's the only reason nrs keeps making mistakes,problems,and stupid ass decisions.

Anyways. Mortal liu kang any damn day.

No questions.

Anyone who picks god liu kang over sweet boy mortal liu kang is a fucking fool and honestly doesn't really know liu kang.

Fuck fire god liu kang,Oops i ment boons comicbook insert.

Mortal,shaolin monk liu kang ftfw.

All day any day.

Like I'm just sad they couldn't have just let....ya know....his shaolin bromie kung lao take over? And ya know LET FUJIN DO HIS JOB!? and ya know....let liu kang fucking retire from the narrative?

Without god powers,without killing him off,without making him evil from plot device,without making him undead,like ffs man this man has been thru every trope except having a fucking sexy honey boo on his hip! Ffs man let this guy have happiness?

Ya think the narrative would be kinder to him considering how much bootlicking they do to him.

But nope....they want their cake and eat it too. Fuck nrs.

I'm sorry liu kang,im so sorry they made you a joke. (And to all the other characters that i know n love and grew up with so much)

People think that shit is funny,or nothing to sneeze at. Well how would you feel if something that bringed you joy growing up was being fucked over by corporate greed? And fans just eat it up and consume mindlessly without actually thinking about it? Like they buy cuz of brand and "it looks cool" .

Ugh im just sick of it man.

[mortuarywriting]

📚 🧚‍♀️ Just one or both if you'd like 👉👈

I can do both!! These were super neat to think on!! the second one is absolutely why this gets a read more. I went off the shits. So sorry about that.

📚 how do you come up with the fics you write

Hmmm sometimes it's seeing the right prompt, sometimes its seeing ideas being tossed around and thinking on it, sometimes its taking the canon and seeing how a seemingly small but significant shift would impact it and how that would domino effect! I love playing with worldbuilding sandboxes so much that sometimes the fics themselves fall to the wayside ">>

🧚‍♀️ favorite characters of all time

OUGH this is such a hard one!! How do you choose a favorite child!! I'll scoop from the top and be read for filth for it I think but. Worth it i think. Anyway you get them alphabetically

Auron - Final Fantasy X

This is it. This is your story. It all begins here.

I. boy I am really not immune to Dark Knights in the FF franchise the more I think about it but! Auron has always been such a good character and I associate him so much with a song I LOVE... Auron is just one of my favorite companions, I love the insight he brings and how he was a Guardian for Yuna's Father as well as her. He's also one of Two Nickels I realize I'd have for Dark Knights in Final Fantasy Game who [REDACTED].

Death - Darksiders 2

All who live know my name, all who oppose me shall know Death.

Caaan't find a decent pic of him and I don't really wanna go and redownload the whole game for screenshot purposes yet. Aywho-

Darksiders 2 is all about Death, the oldest of the Nephilim/Horsemen of the Apocalypse proving the innocence of his brother War (seen lower in the list) for the crime of allegedly starting the Apocalypse early. Between this game and the Abomination Vault book preceding any of the games I really appreciate these two, Death being a ridiculously smart but also an apathetic asshole who only cares for a small handful, plays things close to his chest... He's a neat character and I appreciate just how far ahead he seems to plan and the lengths he'll go to make sure it all goes as he wants it to. Metal as hell.

Because War has his I also have to show Death's horse so this is Despair

And this is his Reaper Form

Fray Myste - Final Fantasy XIV

Bastard of the Brume, Fray was taken in by Ser Ompagne and became trained in becoming a Dark Knight with Sidurgu. By the time we meet them Ompagne is long dead, and Fray has just been defeated in a duel.

We find Fray, pick up the Dark Knight Soul crystal from where it had fallen beside him, and he becomes your mentor upon your waking up. You touched something that would hurt yourself and others along the way and BOY HOWDY does he have excellent threats of violence. Will follow you around on your job quests and heal you while you're being a dumb tank. He writes your quest journal entries and is such a sassy bloodthirsty shit

Fray is the other of the Two Nickels I realize I'd have for Dark Knights in Final Fantasy Game who [REDACTED].

Jarlaxle Baenre - Forgotten Realms

I am Jarlaxle. I have been everywhere.

Lets start with Jarlaxle was born the third son of the Highest House in Menzoberranzan- a city where the houses are constantly trying to kill the house ahead of them for status and do so to not get caught, their goddess Lolth favoring those who get away with no evidence to damn themselves. To that end there's a firm rule enforced by Lolth- every third son is to be sacrificed to her- two male children are expendable and acceptable but any further are sacrificed after birth.

Jarlaxle's mother, ruler of the highest house and having kept that seat for Ages, went to acquiesce with that upon Jarlaxle's birth.

Lolth told her no. Jarlaxle was to live, he was too interesting.

He has since made this an everyone else problem. Man has connections in the underdark and surface, everything he wears is in some form enchanted, he's proficient with just about everything, and he is so fascinated with various things and just wants to see what happens next and how it can help him get ahead. I love him. I wanna study him under a microscope. Every character that's been in a campaign he's turned up in has vibe checked him and decided they want out of the room right now immediately. Most notably my dude who was sometimes part moose said "I'd like to leave, actually"

Urick - Drakengard 2

A masked man who lives a life haunted by the curse of death. Three years ago, after a tragic incident, he made a pact with the Reaper, although the price he paid for this pact is unknown. At first glance he appears to be a carefree, lively character who could never bear a grudge. However, on rare occasions, his jovial facade can't quite conceal the truth...

To preface the significance of this-

A Pact, also known as a Contract (契約 Keiyaku?) in the Japanese version, is a contract system in the world of Drakengard between a human (or other humanoid race) and a beast. By merging their souls together, the human gains supernatural powers, and both participants gain a second chance in life should either or both be close to death. The human must pay some price for the pact, and if one should be fatally injured, it means death for both unless the pact is broken. Beings who have formed a pact with each other are referred to as "pact-partners".

Urik's pact is his mortality. Straight up he does not have a heart in his chest anymore. He's just a generally chill guy and while I haven't gone through Drakengard 2 in years (thanks playstation for 0 drakengard or drakengard 2 rep) I remember him fondly. I forgot how much I loved him and that his wiki trivia describes him as "Urick is good at playing dead." The game quote they chose for him is "Just because you can't make any friends, doesn't mean you should take it out on the rest of us" which is what he says as he's about to save your character's life.

plus lookit this smile

War - Darksiders

You can look me in the eye when I kill you.

Darksiders is a game about oops, the apocalypse started on earth! Heaven and Hell start duking it out in the streets and humanity suffers for it. Humans die out, earth is in ruins, and all of it is conveniently laid at the feet of War - youngest of the Four Horsemen who has gotten in trouble for fighting with humanity before (please see left arm being fuckoff huge gauntlet. That's a prosthetic. Death cut his arm off for that bullshit in the comics).

Now, War is a man of his word and high code of honor- he said he'd leave humans be and he did. He's been framed and the Council- those in charge of keeping the balance and the bosses of the Horsemen- gives him a shot to prove his innocence and find the actual culprits with a Watcher keeping tabs and reporting back.

This is his horse, Ruin

This is his Chaos Form

War is voiced by Liam O'Brian and the Watcher is voiced by Mark Hamill. so that's fun. Samael in game could also get it but that does not a fav make.

Also fun lore fact: all the horsemen's horses are the same species. The horse just reflects the rider once they've bonded. Fun magic shit.

[mishkakagehishka]

yeah no fr you get it. i notice so many little things that just feel weird when games try to be too realistic. like modern fallout games? you immediately notice when character's mouths or animations are wonky. tbh i play far too few super-realistic-games to really point out any ones i have flaws with but like!

final fantasy! 15 is pretty realistic but still keeps that anime vibe. prompto's hair is a little silly but hey, its ff! and it fits in the world and doesn't feel off. kh? entirely silly. even in kingdom hearts 3 where there's a lot more like "high-def" textures and stuff, all the characters are so silly and anime-esque that it still just works.

hell i sometimes think ts2 has more polish and personality than ts4, and that came out in approx 2004...

idk man i love my silly anime games and my clunky/chunky/low-poly graphics. realism is fun as are pretty graphics but man. i can look past shitty graphics if the story and characters are fun and i have a reason to care. but if the graphics are slowing my device down and i can barely play? that's just a pain.

on that note why are assassin's creed games so fucking big. i had to dl over 100gb for ac: valhalla awhile ago. is this even necessary anymore...? ngl i like ac4's graphics more than the more modern games sometimes...

sorry im a little passionate abt games. oopsies. ily corks

No, but exactly, that's why i brought up ff. It has a dash of realism to it, but the charas look so stylised in the anime way despite that, that flaws don't jump out as much as they do in the RE engine, to me. I very much remember wonky hair being a thing despite the fact that i played one (1) 3D final fantasy entry, and that was years ago, but it never struck me as odd, because... it was stylised, and it could get explained as part of the style. When you aim for photorealism, even the most minor flaw registers as - a flaw, cannot be explained by saying "it's stylised".

And, yeah, real. I can't tell you for Valhalla or Odyssey - I don't own them and don't really have an urge to get them either (not in an elitist "it's not a proper ac game", but just a bit of a side-eyeing "i play ac for certain reasons, and odyssey and valhalla took a path that removed those reasons"), but from what I hear they have a fuckton of content. I think Origins also took so much to download, it was ridiculous.

(And same tho. I made tumblr bc i wanted to be insane ab elder scrolls somewhere, enstars just kinda took over. But i've always been a video game freak)

[violetfairydust]

20 Questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @dear-massacre thank you! I love you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

0 as of yet, but I do plan on posting soonish!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Out of all of the fics I've written for Teen Wolf, my total word count so far is 1,115,142

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Predominantly Teen Wolf. I used to write for The Hunger Games and Divergent, but those have taken a back seat.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I haven't posted full fics yet, but my mom's approximate top 5 favorites are

Spring Breaking the Rules - Liam and his friends are going on spring break and he invites his crush without consulting with his friends

Skating By - The Hales go rollerskating and run into some interesting characters who want Derek's attention. Features very jealous Stiles

Teacher Conferences - an AU where Stiles and Derek are dating during 3A. They run into Jennifer at the store the day before school starts and Stiles is jealous she's talking to Derek, and then the following day at school they get into a sass off

Operation: Hayden - Mason, Corey, and Nolan are afraid Hayden is coming back to Beacon Hills to reconnect with Liam even though he's moved on and they try to prevent the two of them interacting with the most ridiculous means possible

I Love You, You Love Me - all human AU where Scott dresses up for kids' birthday parties for extra money. Malia hires him for her young sister's party and he has major issues with his Barney costume

My top 5 most popular snippets that I have posted are

Stiles and Isaac argue about costumes from 'Here for the Boos'

Stiles' wetsuit from 'Lydia and the Princess'

Derek is concerned about Stiles from 'What Sees Us in the Dark'

Stiles is sick and Derek plays doctor from 'Doctor Derek'

Stiles wants to adopt the weird teenager from Louisiana from 'Needs a Waterpark'

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

When I was writing on FF dot net, I would sometimes, but I didn't have a lot of time. As soon as I get posting more, then yes.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Nothing Left to Lose. Bring on the brooding, inner turmoil, and mutual pining.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics end on a happy note, or they're not super angsty. Off the top of my head I'm going with Family Practice because it's the fic where Stiles and Derek become parents and it's a very happy occasion.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have in the past, yes, and it was one of the major reasons I stopped posting at all.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

In my mind, yes. On paper, no. I used to, but I never posted it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I posted on FF dot net a fic that was really popular and then I found out one of my readers wrote a very similar fic. It wasn't stolen or a direct rip off, but I could tell it was very clearly based off what I wrote.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've collaborated ideas, but we didn't write it together.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I gotta go with Sterek. Always and forever.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One of my old Divergent fics. I wrote it in Tris's POV and posted all of it, but then I was going to write it in Al's POV and I got halfway through, but readers will know how it ends.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can come up with some funky fics. I enjoy my creativity.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description. Either of the setting, characters, or actions. I try to flesh it out in editing, but it's difficult for me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't personally do it because I'm not fluent in other languages. I'm totally fine with other people doing it. I just don't know enough to make it good.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oof. I think it iCarly or Harry Potter.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I'm proud of so many of them. One that I always go back to entertain myself is If I May Say because I gave myself an excuse to watch YouTube while writing. Scott challenges Malia to only reply to people with the last thing she heard in the video she's watching and her replies were perfect and concerning.

[shadowmaat]

Sometimes kids make the best DMs because they are all pint-sized Machiavellians. You love to see it. And I'm glad Emma found a supportive group (to unleash her evil upon).

As for the naysayers, fuck 'em. They can go somewhere else if the DM of someone else's group bothers them that much. Tch. I can understand the need for a "parents night out," but expecting everyone else to ban children is a little ridiculous. Especially at a games night. FFS.

I, for one, would be thrilled to sit at Emma's table. A little worried about plot twists, perhaps, but still thrilled. LOL!

Some D&D party is out there playing the coolest campaign ever.

[bigskydreaming]

Johnny Storm, Stop Being So Obsessed With Iceman Challenge! (Or, y'know, don't actually, just build on Liu's slipped-under-the-editorial-radar romantic & sexual history Johnny has with Akihiro and be explicitly bisexual about your obsession with Bobby. That works too!)

LOL seriously though, how petty Johnny is about Bobby throughout North's FF run is hilarious, and I NEED it to be building to something. Especially with Johnny now using autonomous fire-based clones of himself in an exact mirroring of Bobby's use of ice golems....that's become North's big power-up for Johnny throughout his run. And he consistently focuses on that power usage enough that when combined with how Johnny goes out of his way to namedrop Bobby at any opportunity, I'm really hoping its only a matter of time before Bobby shows up to accuse him of trademark infringement and tell him to at least TRY and be original instead of copying all his best moves.

(Please. I need these knuckleheads to have another Ode To Their Shared Ridiculousness sometime soon so Slott's issue from a few years ago isn't the only time they share story space this decade.)

It wasn't even the worst thing Slott's written, not by a long shot, in fact it wasn't even really bad so much as it was just. Slott. And I didn't get to be the Hater that I am today by taking BREAKS from it just because a writer's not being ACTIVELY objectionable at like, that specific moment, y'know? I have standards to adhere to here.

Plus, y'know. Slott.

Although I do have to give credit where its due to him writing one of the funniest lines about resurrection in the whole Krakoan era.

"This isn't real life, Pixie. Its a game. I could die" hits just the right note of comic book absurdity for me. Well subverted, I GUESS. Ugh, so much for standards, clearly. I might as well just tear up my Hater membership card myself, what am I even DOING. Am I okay???

[jungxk]

just one (viii)

summary: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

notes: first of all i wanna thank the people who supported me and encouraged me through one of the worst writers blocks of my life. all the messages and comments are the reason why i finally managed to post this. special thanks to @whippedforkook for helping me with the monstrous tagging process as well as giving me so much praise. and also @lonelyending for cheering me on for a literal YEAR bc thats how long i cried over this fic! this story is so special to me. we’re in the home stretch now x

warnings: mentions of illegal drug use and distribution, swearing, brief smut.

genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au

wordcount: 8k

tagging: @cutechim @benz-biarritz @gyukult @bangulin @eatersanonymous @alyssa1926 @skivv1es @a-sucker-for-them-sappy-shit @moonights @jeymuffins @juuneaux @catsukiii @andreaisaac @whatheydontunderstand @sreveles @noruls619 @henryharios @just-a-fuxked-up-kid @befriendswithj @btsbesharam @poemsandpunani @taelha @misosoup-forthesoul @jikooksmut @heart-eyedmf @the-piano-woman @angrysunshine @chaoticpaperfanhoagie @jsungshine @ci-yen @faby-montana @shinypeanutsportshero @jooniestrivia @alucards-s @cynamyngirl @jiminie-angel @myskoova @jkshoneybuns @smokintae @remmykinsff @majinbuwu @jangx2manboongx2 @potatodogs @seul-queen @alpharyth @blenxxxg @plsky @th-singularity @bapbaptothetop @hermiones-enchantment @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @euphorora @supachloe94 @jiminxjimout @ggukkieland @just-another-fic-recs-blog @jalexad​

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

x

4 years ago

x

jimin hated yugyeom.

well, maybe hate was a strong word. he just didn't like talking to him, being around him, hearing his name or interacting with him on any level, social or otherwise. he really tried though, since he was one of jungkook's closest friends and still respectfully referred to him as hyung above all else. and if anything, jimin would always have a soft spot for jungkook, the kid he used to coddle when his own brother wasn't around. but having said that, there wasn't really much basis for not liking yugyeom. it was just a gut feeling jimin couldn't explain, a very subtle callousness about him only jimin could pick up on. for the most part he was just like very other mild mannered boy by day and party animal by night, but jimin still ducks when he sees him enter the library.

"fuck," he hisses under his breath, scooping up his laptop to stride behind a book shelf for good measure. because sometimes, contrary to popular belief, jimin wanted to be alone. he didn't want to make small talk or listen to someone tell him about how well they scored on their last paper or complain about their annoying girlfriend. sometimes jimin wanted to have no thoughts and listen to fleetwood mac as per his human rights. which is why he shoves into the first private study room he sees.

and not an empty one at that. there's a girl inside, sitting cross-legged in her chair at a desk with an array of dried up paint tubes and brushes surrounding open sketchbooks. you don't look annoyed or even that phased, just amused as you give him a once over before going back to painting. "on the run from solji?"

jimin blinks, back still pressed against the door. "huh?" he regards you properly. "i'm sorry, have we met before?"

"not really," you admit with a sheepish smile, which is when jimin suddenly realises that you're...attractive. "solji is in my stats class. you hooked up with her last week at some party and she told me about it."

"oh," jimin takes in your plethora of art supplies. "you don't look like a stem student."

there's a glimmer of something in your eyes, and though you hide it well jimin knows he's struck a nerve. "yeah, i get that a lot."

"it's not solji by the way," jimin clarifies. for some reason. "that i'm hiding from. just a bellend i don't have the energy for right now."

you smile. "it's fine. you don't owe me your life story."

"i do when i'm about to impose on your...study time," jimin peers through the window in the door, wincing when yugyeom enters the hallway. "what would it take for you to let me stay in here for a while?"

you pause for a second. "honestly? just be quiet and leave me alone. is that okay?"

jimin perks up, a weight leaving his chest. "perfect, actually."

x

x

x

[jungkook 11:42pm]: why does it say wings on it

[jungkook 11:42pm] where is it flying

[you: 11:43pm] ffs kook

[you: 11:44pm] im still on the toilet can u just hurry up

[you 11:44pm] grab some tampons too pls

[jungkook 11:46pm] fine what size pussy do u wear

[you 11:46pm] i hate u

[jungkook 11:53pm] ???? ? ? well? ????

[you 11:54pm] REGULAR 

jungkook giggles at his phone, already having left the women's sanitary aisle to grab some chocolate. months later and teasing you was still bundles of fun. he knew for a fact that you were sat there with that angry pout on your face, nose crinkled. he had never bought anything like this before, but jungkook had enough brain cells to know that chocolate was another necessity for that time of the month. after grabbing a large hazelnut bar, he pauses beside the oreos before grabbing a packet of those too. just for good measure. he strides to the self checkout - because even he wasn't man enough for the cashier yet - nearly dropping his array of sanitary products and confectionary when somebody calls out his name from behind the queue.

"kook!" the voice is unmistakably yugyeom's, confirmed by the hand that clamps jungkook over the shoulder and swivels him round before he could think about hiding his socially compromising shopping items. it takes a second for yugyeom to notice, doing a double take at the pads atop his small tower of goods. he holds back a laugh, balancing a bottle of gin in one hand while he waves back at some friends to continue. they were clearly making their pit stop before a night out, probably pre's if they still start as late as jungkook remembers. with his hair styled and expensive cologne lingering, jungkook almost forgets he probably looks unrecognisable in his sweats and cotton-fresh hoodie. friday nights weren't for cuddling. still, yugyeom's smile is welcoming and familiar. "got the munchies? and maybe also a uterus?"

"shut up," jungkook grumbles, averting his eyes. he shifts to his other foot uncomfortably. "my friend just needed a favour, that's all."

"uh huh," yugyeom gives him a teasing look. "is this friend the reason why i barely saw you at jin's the other week?"

jungkook blinks back at him. "wait, you were at that party? i had no idea!" a boyish smile breaks over his face. "why didn't you call me? i haven't seen you since-"

"minseok-hyung's new years eve party," yugyeom throws his head back with a laugh. "remember how we ended up on a boat after the ball dropped and-"

"spent all of new years day detained by the coast guard!" jungkook finishes with a mischievous cackle of his own, nearly dropping the tampons in the process. "fuck, that was so much fun! we need to meet up again, i haven't been out with the guys in so long."

"well no wonder," he quips a brow at jungkook's shopping again. "word got out you're a family man but i didn't believe it. until now, that is."

jungkook's smile falls. "what do you mean?"

yugyeom looks at him for a second, confused by jungkook's surprise. yugyeom was never quite as diplomatic as namjoon or yoongi, to put it lightly. and definitely nowhere near as accomodating as jimin. which is why his next words make jungkook's back stiffen. "bro, look at yourself. you got dairy milk in one hand and tampax in the other. on a friday night. the next time i see you i wouldn't be shocked if you had a baby buggy and a mortgage." still, yugyeom throws him an apologetic look. like a mouse caught in a trap. "face it, kook. you're old news."

"what? that's not true," his brows furrow unhappily. "i don't know what you're talking about. it's not like she's my..."

he can't say the word, but it hangs between them like a dead weight.

"yeah, right," the condescending look on yugyeom's face was starting to agitate him. "you totally blanked us at jin's after she showed up. not even just jin's..." he thinks twice about holding his tongue, but as always, decides against it. "i don't know you, jungkook. whoever this new jungkook is. it's been months. you used to hit us up and be independent and spontaneous and wild and now you're just...someone's boyfriend.

"stop fucking saying that," jungkook snaps, all visible signs of friendliness gone.

"why?" a beat. "do you even use a wrap with her anymore?"

jungkook splutters, heat rushing to his ears and hands in a stinging combination of anger and embarrassment. "how is that any of your business? the fuck are you asking me something like that, as if you-"

"thought so," yugyeom looks away from him with a sigh. if anything, yugyeom knew never to overstay his welcome but that clearly backfired tonight. "whatever, jungkook," he looks over his shoulder at him. "guess you're the last one to find out you're officially married."

"you're ridiculous," jungkook scoffs. "all this over condoms? grow up, yugyeom."

"only couples do it raw," yugyeom turns away from him, alcohol in tow as he waves a hand over his shoulder to join his friends like jungkook was nothing but a lost cause. "you would remember that if you still had game."

jungkook stands there, dumbfounded while the group of boys exit the store noisily but he can't hear a thing. the siren that had been itching the back of his mind all this time was suddenly there at full force, right between his eyes. the glaring truth that yugyeom might be right makes his knees buckle. all those rules jungkook once had, all those measures he kept in place to protect his liberty, to prevent this very occurence - where were they? what happened to them? as the sweet and accommodating counterpart to jimin, why had you never complied? though, the blame wasn't on your hands alone. he got complacent, comfortable. lenient. and now without even realising he was here, a scene from a romcom in the middle of the night, with nothing to say for himself but fuck. the realisations wouldn't stop racing, one after another on the conveyer belt of his anxiety.

the photos on his phone; mostly you. time spent, usually with you. the portfolio for his latest photography module also had some resemblance to your interests. charcoal pencils, night drives, orchids. like the ones you always drew on any scrap of paper lying around. now that he thinks about it, he's seen nothing but your orchids for months. and not just that - you wore his clothes sometimes too. his bathroom had your toothbrush, contraceptive pills and coconut shampoo. his closest friends, his hyungs...not one of them was devoid of affection for you. he wasn't even confident that if the choice was presented, they would still pick him over you.

by the time jungkook finishes paying and practically sprints to his truck in a daze, he can hardly keep himself from shaking. he palms the wheel compulsively, he could feel the sweat in his sideburns, hoodie suddenly suffocating him. it smelled of you.

and then, like a final curtain call: was he just your latest fixer-upper project? some good girl wet dream to play out in the wake of your emotionally traumatic past? a slap in the face to seokjin, maybe, and nothing more? when you were done, when he was out of your system, when you knew his taste by heart and had nothing new left to try - would you stay? did you even know how to?

did he?

jungkook starts the engine. he drives to your door, drops your bag of snacks and pads on the porch, and texts you before leaving. he does not go inside.

x

x

x

"you sure you'll be okay with just the boys?"

you scoff at seulgi when she pins you with a worrying look, taking some of her clothes out of her bag to re-fold them just so you had something to do with your hands. jisoo had already left for the long weekend with her family, so there was no one there to fill up the empty space between your awakward reply. you didn't know how to tell the girls that jungkook hadn't contacted you in nearly a month. and even though he was a notable flight risk from the beginning, you couldn't help but feel like there was hostility there. every now and again he'd at least send a nude or have a quick phone call when he was drunk or high at three in the morning, but you hadn't heard a peep from him. you couldn't stand the idea of someone you cared about harbouring comtempt for you, but the fear of reaching out and somehow making the situation worse outweighed it tenfold. 

you look up to see seulgi still staring at you with concern. "of course i'll be fine! they're boys, not piranhas."

"at least piranhas contribute our ecosystem. boys just cause problems for the hell of it," seulgi lays a hand on the crown of your head like a berating big sister, swivelling you to look at her in your fit of giggles. the urge to nestle you under blankets like a baby bird made her chest heave, and you could tell. "i'm serious. if jimin tries anything, call me immediately okay?"

"jimin?" you snort. "out of a room full of delinquents, my ex, and taehyung, you're worried about jimin of all people?"

seulgi wrinkles her nose. "god, when you say it like that its like i'm throwing you to the dogs." she pauses. "something's up with jimin. i don't know what it is, but he's...off."

you tilt your head innocently, remembering the brief interaction you had with hobi at seokjin's party. you had been so caught up in jungkook - or lack thereof - you hadn't thought to press him about it afterwards. in truth, jimin remained as...jimin as ever. if he was acting differently you certainly couldn't tell. "you think so?"

"mmm," she leans on the lip of the open suitcase thoughtfully. "but maybe with jungkook there, he'll behave himself."

you gulp, fiddling with his watch on your wrist anxiously. "maybe."

x

x

x

you nearly yelp when you feel a big hand swivel around your waist, bucking into the kitchen counter reflexively. jungkook always did this before rubbing his boner against your ass, but the light scent of citrus and short squeeze lets you know immediately that its taehyung. hoseok, jimin, namjoon and yoongi were still in the living room playing video games, giving taehyung the perfect opening to intercept you. namjoon and yoongi had insisted that you come over to their place after finding out you'd be alone for the weekend, and you had completely refused before taehyung's coaxing. and of course, jimin's persuasive nudging. even though you felt safe and relaxed here, it felt wrong to be in jungkook's friends' place without him. almost like a breaching of an unspoken boundary.

and clearly, taehyung picked up on your discomfort by the way he stared at you so softly. his back was to the sink, his sillhouette particularly long and lean this evening. "you need to lighten up, princess. you keep looking over your shoulder so much it's making me nervous!"

your visibly droop with a sigh. "i'm sorry tae. i've had a lot on my mind lately, and..."

he claps his hands on your shoulders, teeth peeking through his grin. "you're not doing anything illegal by being here without jungkook."

you wince at his name. "have you always been able to read my mind like this?"

"absolutely," taehyung's brown eyes look so rich up close. "you're allowed to have friends that are also his friends, because - and try to stick with me on this - relationships between people are allowed to be independant from the primary circles they met in. mind boggling concept, i know."

you wack him on the chest until he laughs. "stop making fun of my anxious thought processes! its called mental illness, sherlock! i can't help it!"

his nose scrunches cutely, enjoying your first fiery outburst of the day. "whatever. i call it not getting laid for a month and losing critical thinking abilities from it."

you gape at him indignantly while taehyung roars with laughter. "you're such a dickhead," you hiss through gritted teeth, yanking his hair and jabbing your fingers in his sides the way you would with jimin during a tickle fight. "whores have feelings too, taehyung! whores have feelings too!"

you both fall about with laughter, knocking over half the snacks on the counter in the process which only makes the pair of you laugh even more. it's such childish chaos trying to clean up the mess on the tiny kitchen floor that neither of you notice the front door open, or the gust of metaphorical and literal wind that follows. watching taehyung trying to salvage a bag of broken crisps is just so funny that the presence of an another voice in the living room goes unregistered, as do the footsteps leading up the hallway to the kitchen, so you have no time to brace yourself or properly pull yourself together with you see-

"...jungkook."

yours and taehyung's heads snap to the doorway. jungkook stands there with almost complete lack of emotion on his face to the pair of you kneeling in crumbs and napkins. there's a brief pause where the tension in your eye contact alone was so strong that it felt wrong to breathe. but it is shortlived. jungkook tiptoes over you like spilled milk, reaching for a glass of water. you and taehyung lock eyes while the tap runs in the awkward silence. "hey. you okay?"

"um," you're not sure whether to stand up, hug him, look at him, or even face him. "yeah! yeah, i'm fine."

he nods politely. "hyung?"

even taehyung looks visibly uncomfortable. "i'm good."

"cool. see you later," he says, downing the glass impressively fast before leaving the room just as fast as he entered it.

you and taehyung stare at each other again, not understanding why you both feel like kids caught eating cake before dinner. you could feel the sweat pricking at your back from the realisation. jungkook had no idea you'd be here, and given that interaction he'd probably want to leave now. there was always the inkling woven between his radio silence that he was done with you, but you never let yourself take it seriously out of logic. because how could months of passion and tenderness and honesty be undone so irrevocably like that? it didn't make sense. you hadn't changed. you were the same girl he hit on relentlessly and chased against all odds. so what was different now?

"____," taehyung calls your name gently, and it's only then you realise you're already up and trailing after jungkook into the living room. when you walk in he's already putting his shoes on to leave again, barely making eye contact with you while he chats absently to his hyungs so he can look busy. the four boys on the large sofa can only reply wearily, eyes darting between the pair of you like a firework was about to blow to soon. and it was.

you could feel it in your throat, under your breast bone, bubbling up your stomach. "wait, jungkook. um...h-how have you been? i haven't heard from you in-"

"i've been good," he keeps tying and re-tying his laces without looking up. "super busy. you know how it is."

his curtness makes you flinch. this same time last month jungkook used to kiss you senseless before he had both feet in the door. he'd ring the doorbell incessantly like a child and greet you with the biggest, toothiest grin you had ever seen. he'd make fun of your bed head and squeeze your cheeks until you'd snap at him. and now when he looked at you he hated every second of it. your mother had the same look. your eyes start to burn involuntarily. "yeah, i do. how is uni? your final project is due soon, right? what theme did you pick in the end?"

"the one i told you about," he stands up abruptly. "sorry, noona. something came up. i'll see you arou-"

"something came up?" you step closer to him. "something came up the second you saw my face? or did you really just trek all the way to your hyungs' place for a glass of water, jungkook?"

jungkook stiffens, but is determined not to lose face. and it's difficult to do under your big, accusatory eyes and jimin's death stare at his back. the whole room was waiting for his response, so he just shoves his hands in his pockets resolutely. "i needed to see yoongi hyung, but i can come another time."

you fold your arms. "well it's clearly important, and you're here now. so don't let me stop you."

"but you will stop me," jungkook snaps. "that's the problem."

"kook-ah," yoongi warns quietly, but he took one look at your face and knew the damage was done. jimin was already standing up, circling around the back of the sofa towards you. the red lights were all there; your watery eyes, your trembling hands. every breath you took looked difficult for you to complete and only jimin noticed.

"what are you talking about?" you squint. it takes you a second to understand; yoongi's guilty expression, jungkook's indifference. "oh, you're fucking kidding me." your resolve breaks for a second turning away only to glare back at jungkook with so much fire you can hardly stand it. "you're selling again? are you insane, jungkook?"

"see," jungkook's eyes are stony. "i knew you'd get this way."

"what other way am i supposed to get?" his lack of response only infuriates you more. it felt disrespectful. "jungkook, you're not a kid anymore. if you get caught with drugs the consequences are serious! forget the potential jail time, you could get kicked out of university, it would go on your record forever and-"

"stop talking to me like i'm a kid!"

"then stop acting like one!" you hate raising your voice, but it keeps climbing without your approval. "did you think about this for even five minutes? this isn't like just going to juvie like before and being done with it jungkook. your hyungs can't bail you out of everything."

"this is a lot of talk for someone who lapped up those fancy paints without a second thought," jungkook says darkly. his eyes aren't like you remember, his face solemn and near unrecognisable. "or did you think that getting that kind of money overnight is only something that's possible through daddy's credit card?"

dread blooms like a garden inside you. "that's...that's how you bought the paint set?"

"welcome to the real world," he quips. "as if selling overpriced weed to a bunch of pick-me-freshmans is considered a crime against humanity to anyone but you."

"you think that's why i'm yelling at you right now?" your voice was growing hoarse, desperate. "you think that's the problem i have with you being literal drug dealer, jungkook?"

he hates it. the sweltering silence, the judgmental eyes digging into his back, the slow realisation that the tears in your eyes were not at him but for him. jungkook's ears ring enough to make him sway on the spot if his feet weren't planted so firmly on the dingy carpet, this metaphorical ground. he couldn't shake the feeling that his lifestyle was only an issue now because of you, how he never felt a shred of guilt about any of this shit until he met you. and if there was anything that jungkook never responded well to, it was pity. and he could feel it from every person in the room, all people that that once cherished and coddled him until you came along. he swallows, throat dry from the way he couldn't look at you knowing what he was going to say next.

"you're embarrassing yourself, noona. you're not my girlfriend and you never were, so stop acting like it."

cotton. it's very faint, under the layers of conflicting cologne and beer and smoke, but jungkook still smelled of cotton while he spat acid. nobody could speak, even though jungkook never raised his voice let alone a hand to you, it still hit like a slap in the face. it sunk into the walls, your clothes, suddenly every hair on your body felt heavy with it. dirty. the shame came first, the humiliation next. and then the sorrow, the dread, and finally the defeat. you knew the stages well by now, and they were cycling through you like clockwork. how foolish you were, to make the same mistake again. nobody dared to move, everyone but jungkook staring at you in denial and horror. they couldn't believe their eyes when you nod steadily, bowing your head to the floor.

jimin is already slotting himself between you, his jaw tight. "that's enough, kook. just leave already."

"no," you stop him, unnervingly resigned. that single word cuts through all six men with ease. "he's right." you step around jimin, closing the space between you and jungkook. for a brief moment he wonders if you'll actually hit him, but somehow watching you unclasp his watch from your wrist and drop it on the coffee table in front of him is far worse. the sound seems to ring like church bells, definitive and umistakable. "you're right, i'm not your girlfriend. you win jungkook."

they all watch you leave in dismay, listen to the door closing softly behind you. within a second jimin sprints after you, calling your name, leaving everyone else dumbfounded. jungkook's stare could bore a hole into the abandoned watch on the table, still ticking away like nothing changed. like his eyes weren't burning, lightheaded at the realisation that he would never wear a watch again let alone the one he put on you.

x

x

x

to an outsider, you looked like you were coping well considering you just got dumped in front of all your friends. but jimin knew that face. your stony eyes, lips pulled thin as if to seal inside the collapse of a monument. you took the tea he offered, and then his arms, your face finding his chest with ease. muscle memory. his torso was a tad shorter than jungkook's, his heart closer to your mouth as if the steady thumps were asking for a kiss of acknowledgement. every time you close your eyes you could see jungkooks face, hard and unforgiving and nothing like the man you trusted all this time. but it wasn't a new expression; you parents looked at you similarly the last time you saw them. it was the look of someone who had no regrets cutting all ties. and now, jungkook was behind them in a lost list of people who chose to be strangers over loving you.

jimin sighs when you cry into his chest, brushing the back of your head gently. he had been ready for this for months, but he still hated to see you this way. again. it made his bones itch, his skin crawl uncomfortably every time you weeped. the only time he considered violence was when you were crying. but he knew what to do, laying down across the sofa so you could curl up into a ball next him, head on his bicep and face smushed into the crook of his shoulder. you used to cry like this for hours and hours, his arm familiar with the prickle of pins and needles. but it was the only place you felt safe. tucked into jimin's side is where you would always belong, and that truth was more glaringly obvious than ever now.

"lets get something to eat," he offers eventually, hand craddling the crown of your head like a child. jimin's other hand on your hip is warm and heavy when he pats you soothingly. in your episodes, you responded well to touch. "what about thai food?"

"not hungry," you grumble against him.

"we could make something together?" he peers down at your lack of response. "come on, babe. you gotta eat something. you didn't even have breakfast-"

"why am i so stupid?" you whisper, a fresh bout of tears welling up.

jimin rubs your thigh. "it's not your fault."

"yes it is. jungkook gave me plenty of red flags, and i ignored all of them-"

"oh, i meant you being stupid."

you scoff. "cheers."

"what?" jimin cocks a brow when you lift your head to look up at him. he wets his lips and you follow the swipe of his tongue thoughtlessly, distracted enough by his touch and proximity that you take a second to digest his words. "it's not like any of this exactly came as a surprise. you ignored me, remember? wanted to flex your big girl pants."

you pull away from him and sit up, forcibly shutting out the daze that jimin routinely puts you under. "what's wrong with you? can't you be polite and wait for a couple hours before laying into me like a normal person? jesus, jimin."

"so let me get this straight," jimin sits up, watching your back as you sit away from him. "you're mad because i'm not telling you what you want to hear?"

"no," you say, head shaking. "i'm not mad. i'm upset because i came here to be comforted by my friend and you're just making me feel worse."

"what do you want me to say, ____? that i had high hopes from the start?" jimin pushes his hair back, brows now at a sharp incline from frustration. "i told you starting something with jungkook was trouble but you didn't listen. why should i feed your victim complex when all i've done is try to help you?"

"victim complex?" you repeat, standing up slowly. the sudden steadiness of your voice causes jimin to panic.

"not like that. don't take it like that, it's just," he's suddenly before you, his warm hands palming up your arms warmly. "i didn't wanna see you get like this and it happened anyway, is all i'm saying." he sighs when your scowl doesn't let up. "if hobi hyung hadn't have given up so easy, then maybe…maybe this would never have happened. maybe if i had been harsher with him then you would have-"

"what are you talking about?" you ask quietly, searching jimin's face. "give up so easy? what's that supposed to mean?"

he looks away, hands slipping off you. "it's nothing."

"jimin."

he struggles to look at you, tongue in cheek. his lips purse for a moment, pink like roses. he's wearing that navy jumper you like. "look, it's not a big deal. he wasn't supposed to fuck you or anything, just take you out for a while. get your mind off kookie, show you a nice time."

your blood runs cold. "what?"

jimin's expression softens. "it's not as bad as it sounds-"

"really?" your voice is sharp, sharper than he's ever heard it. you recoil as if you had been struck for the second time today. "because it sounds like you asked some guy to keep me occupied like i'm a fucking dog. all because you can't stand the idea of me being within a meter of jungkook-"

he steps in, but you step back. "you know that's not true, _."

"don't i?" you scoff, covering your face in disbelief. "jimin, you've been hellbent against me even looking at the guy since day fucking one."

"because i didn't want you to get hurt!" jimin counters, eyes downcast. "i know, okay? i know how much of a dick it makes me sound, but its not like it hurt you when you had no idea! hoseok broke it off before you even knew about it so why-"

"because it's worse," you turn away from him. "you tried to control me. choose what's best for me because you think you know better than i do. sound familiar?"

his jaw sets, and it's like you can hear the twine snap in his head, the percussion of his heartbeat above yours even though he doesn't close the space between you. jimin stares at you for a long minute before drawing in a thin breath. "fine," he steps in, and you can't look away. "you want me to say it? fine. i'll say it."

suddenly the air is lace thin around you as you stare at him, waiting. jimin looks off somewhere else, somewhere you can't reach. "don't tell me you haven't thought about it, because i know you have. if i have you must have too. and lately its all i can think about - being with you, holding you, being the one who gets to touch you. and yeah, maybe it took having to see you with jungkook for me to realise how much i want all that, i put my hands up. but you have no idea what's it like to watch the person you love most get toyed around with by a time bomb like that. i've seen jungkook go through girls like underwear and i love him, god i love him, but even the idea of you being one of those wasted girls sitting outside a party crying over his sorry ass makes my fucking ears ring."

"j-jimin…" you whisper, but you have nothing to say. your hands shake.

"you deserve more than that, ____. you deserve more than waiting around for booty calls or living up to what the next guy wants. from jungkook, hoseok, anyone. you deserve someone's devotion and yeah, maybe all this time i've been too much of a pussy to give it. maybe all this time i was tiptoeing around my feelings for you because i knew if i admitted to myself that i loved you - if i admitted i was just like every other guy - i'd actually set the bar for something other than disappointment. id actually have to step up, and i didn't know if i could do it. i still don't. but if it has to be someone…it should be me."

suddenly he's holding your hands, calming the tremble that rattles them. his words bunch up together in your ears, the meaning lost amidst your awe. "jimin….jimin what are you saying? where is all this coming from, i don't...i don't understand wh-"

"i'm saying," he cups your face. "choose me." he pulls you in. so, so close. "choose me, not jungkook. not anyone else. me."

and there's a part of you that has already caved. that's already kissing him, melting into his arms like you've wanted to for so, so long. you're falling back onto the couch with him in a fit of giggles, curling back into his chest to hide your watery eyes, asking him why the fuck he took so long. you chat together between teasing kisses, pour your hearts out, maybe cry a little. later you would make tea and order pad thai and watch the office all night and fall asleep together in the living room well past dawn and then-

you close your eyes. "i can't."

"you can," jimin says, so passionately you shudder. his brown eyes are teaming with too much determination and ardour for his own good, and you both know it. its difficult to grapple with how huge a risk he's taking, because jimin never takes risks. it made the whole situation seem dire. "you know you can, ____. it's us. there's no one like us."

you don't know how you're not crying yet. you only have jimin to hold onto, hands balled in his shirt without knowing if you're about to push him away or pull him in forever. "maybe back then. maybe if you'd have said all this before," you feel empty, the beat of your pulse suddenly strong in your fingertips. "but it doesn't matter anymore."

he shakes his head in denial, his determination palpable. "of course it does-"

"i'm in love with him," you say. to jimin. to yourself. to the world, finally. "i'm in love with jungkook." holding jimin's stare isn't as difficult as you thought it'd be. "you know if you'd have done all this a few months ago…if you'd have just...i was always yours without question, jimin. and you knew it." it's his turn to bristle under the strain of your voice. "jungkook isn't perfect. i'll be the first one to admit that. he's made me cry, he fucks up, he makes mistakes. but he's never lied to me. he never made decisions for me. he never passed judgement on what i should or shouldn't do with my life. something that i never thought i wouldn't able to say about you, too."

there's a brief moment where everything stops. neither of you can believe what you just said. jimin watches you, frozen in his place as you take your bag, eyes glittering with tears when he calls for you. suddenly he's the time bomb he feared becoming, the panic in his eyes lighting them up like fire crackers. for the first time in his life, he stumbles over his words, and then his feet when you reach for the door, all composure lost. he was unravelling like a tapestry in front of you, never to be repaired, and he could feel it. "____. ____, please," jimin chokes, his cheeks blotchy. "i wanted to protect you, i was just trying to help. don't go. please don't go. i was trying to help you."

"no. you were trying to have me." you say, closing the door behind you.

x

x

x

you have no idea what time it is when you hear the bell ring incessantly.

it had been hours since you'd returned home from jimin's, but there was no way for you to keep track when your only priority was just keeping yourself afloat. you turned your phone off, drew the curtains, and resolved to alternate between sitting in seulgi and jisoo's rooms until they came back. you didn't know what else to do. when you weren't crying you were hyperventilating, and when that stopped the absence of emotion was so powerful you could barely keep your eyes open. you were exhausted but could not sleep. starving but could not eat. it was a miracle you even made it down the stairs, using what little strength you had to yank it open without even thinking about who could be on the other side in the middle of the fucking night. but at this point, you would gladly take a serial killer over jimin or jungkook.

"taehyung," you breathe when you take in his face, relieved. you must look like absolute shit because he scans your face and winces. 

"jimin told me," he says, the apology in his voice and expression was almost painful to register. "he told me everything. ____, i'm so sorry. i should have told you about the hoseok thing, i just thought it would be worse coming from me, and then i tried to force jimin into confessing but then he didn't because he's jimin, and now-"

"you're only allowed to come inside if you stop apologising," you say weakly, voice haggered from the hours of crying.

taehyung's pouty expression almost makes you smile with how cute he looks, gingerly stepping over the threshhold. "i really am sorry though."

"for what," you say monotonously, closing the door behind him while he takes off his shoes. "my inexplicably terrible taste in men? my uncanny ability to get manipulated by literally anyone who shows me a scrap of affection? or my absolutey shredded-to-shit attachment style thats barely intact let alone functioning healthily? after hoppping between the first two for a few hours i'd personally go for the latter. but whatever."

"please shut up," taehyung sighs, bringing you into his arms before you could have a second thought about it. "you need to amp up the misandry in this context. a lot of this had nothing to do with you and everything to do jimin and jungkook."

you're too tired to open your eyes, snuggling into the softness of taehyung's chest. you’re too exhausted to argue. "where did you learn the word misandry? have you been reading?"

"yeah," you can hear his big, pleased grin. "i know you and the girls have been calling me a himbo behind my back."

"affectionately," you add, peering up at him. he wipes the wetness off your cheeks, moving upstairs to your room with your hand in his. he fetches you a glass of water before putting you into bed like he's paid to do it. taehyung was the cuddliest person you had ever met, but you had rarely seen him dote on anyone. "girls love himbos. it's a compliment."

"not all girls," he mutters when he returns from the bathroom with a glass of water. "drink this, would you? you look so dry it's making me itchy."

you do as he says with a roll of your eyes. "what do you mean?" you finish your water with a big gulp. "jisoo loves dumb guys, what are you talking about?"

taehyung looks away from you, bottom lip rolling up under his teeth so fast you barely catch it. he pulls up your desk chair next to your bed, thinking long and hard before meeting your eyes again. "i don't mean jisoo."

you don't understand at first, but after staring at his face for a long minute your stomach drops. "don't. don't you fucking dare," another beat of silence. you rip the covers off you to scamble to your knees, grab your pillow and hurl it at taehyung's head. "taehyung, please don't tell me that the one remaining, healthy relationship i have with a man has also been shot to shit because i swear to god i'm gonna-"

"it's not a big deal," he says firmly, and he really does mean it. taehyung catches your wrists when you lunge at him, effectively ending your outburst before it can begin. he keeps hold of them while he stares into your eyes, watching the way they fill up with a fresh bout of tears. "i've had a crush on you for a while, so what? it's not anyone's business but mine so don't worry about it."

you try not to scream at him. "how long?"

"...since the start." he shrugs. "it's not like i could have done anything anyway. with jimin around. he’d never have it."

"but...! but..." you splutter, the highlight reel of your friendship suddenly marred before your eyes. "but you let me talk to you about boys! you gave me advice with hobi and jimin and jungkook and...! you encouraged jimin to confess to me. and the whole thing with jisoo?"

he wets his lips guiltily. "jisoo is a nice girl. i like her, but...not like you. i've always liked you."

you shake your head in horror, your face crumpling. bile rose in your throat. "so all of that...playing with my friend like that. was just to get to me?"

"listen to me," taehyung says firmly, gripping your wrists to make you look at him again. he's so close you can feel the warmth of his breath on yours, and you never realised how large taehyung's torso was compared to yours before. he could have smothered you, but he didn't. in all senses. "the way jimin and jungkook handled their feelings is on them, just like how this is on me. it doesn't matter if i'm fucking you or not, you're my friend and i'll always want people to do right by you. and that includes me."

there was nothing else to say, so taehyung wordlessly wipes your face again and fetches you more water before retreating to sleep on the couch downstairs. all the while you sat there in your bed, confused and bewildered and thoughtful. the same bed jungkook fucked you on. the same bed jimin held you in. out of all the men in your life, taehyung was the only one who treated his feelings for you with reverence. there wasn't one interaction you could think of where he made his feelings clear, where he even hinted towards wanting something more. if he hadn't have said anything tonight, in the wake of one of the most emotionally tumultuous days of your life, you would still be in the dark about it all. and that was the scariest part. you didn't know anyone else who hadn't let their feelings for you effect how they treated you. so ultimately, it was possible.

and jimin and jungkook chose not to do that. but taehyung did.

taehyung did.

when you finally pad downstairs after hours of ruminating, jisoo's bedroom door is wide open. and that's who you should be thinking about now - your friend and sister jisoo - as the sky begins to lighten with the signs of morning. you hadn't slept for over twenty four hours, you were hungry and thirsty, delirious from the whirlwind of losing the two most important men in your life in one day. but still, you are drawn to taehyung. taehyung, who never asked anything of you. taehyung, who was as silent as he was selfless this whole time. taehyung who routinely put what he wanted aside in favour of what was best for you. taehyung, who protected you without needing credit or recognition for it. taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung-

"taehyung," you whisper scraping your nails through his hair. his eyes fluttered open, twisting his head to face you as you hovered above him. he could barely see you in the darkness. "taehyung, wake up."

"what is it?" he croaks, sitting up with half-lidded eyes and a yawn. he doesn't know how to read the expression on your face. he swings his legs off the sofa in a sitting position, wearing nothing but his boxers and tee, visibly alarmed. "what happened? are you okay?"

you take his face in your hands and kiss him. 

taehyung stiffens against you, breath drawn thin. you pull away to gauge his expression, desperately searching his eyes in the darkness. for discomfort, disapproval, anything negative at all. the absolute ardour you find instead could knock you down if taehyung didn't reach for your neck, kissing you again. you whine at the feel of his tongue, having no idea where such sudden and intense arousal was coming from. when you pull away with shaky limbs, you climb onto his thick thighs so he can feel your wetness through his boxers. taehyung grunts at the sensation, and again when you kiss him passionately and without abandon. the sweet girl every guy he knew was agonising over, suddenly in his lap. he's barely had his tongue down your throat for ten minutes and you're already rocking into him, his erection betraying his resolve.

it's better than he dreamed. 

"taehyung," you gasp, palming him now. he groans when he pulls away to look at your mouth, glistening with his saliva when you take his hand and guide it down to your arousal. "please."