#ff eclair

[ringoveon-draws]

Long time no post :D

Life got me good BIG TIME!!! I’m back posting in time for MerMay 2023 so here’s Eclair

[obstinaterixatrix]

yen press is having a coin boost on bookwalker from 9/22/23-9/28/23. here’s the link to all the yuri included in this, I’m gonna hype a specific one

this is an anthology with the theme of working women. since it’s an anthology some of the oneshots can be hit or miss depending on preference, but I remember it being pretty solid. ‘stopped meter’ is one of my favorites, and ‘everyone’s missing out’ is a 10 page oneshot of a may-december romance with the very elusive Actually Older Woman so I enjoyed that. I don’t have my copy with me right now so I can’t take pics of the chapters I mentioned, but here’s the first few pages of the first oneshot from the preview

[thehyperrequiem]

Cartoon Creature Story (Toy Story Tetralogy) parody cast

Spike (My little Pony) as Young Andy Davis

Ember (My little Pony) as Mrs. Davis

Knight Cookie (Cookie Run) as Woody

Almond Cookie (Cookie Run Kingdom) as Buzz

Princess Cookie (Cookie Run) as Bo-Peep

Latte Cookie (Cookie Run Kingdom) as Jessie

Wambus Troubleham (Bugsnax) as Mr. Potato Head

Triffany Lottablog (Bugsnax) as Mrs. Potato Head

The Hydrac (Balan Wonderworld) as Rex

Eis Glover (Balan Wonderworld) as Himself/Rex's Human Partner

Dribble (With Spitz as Extra) (Warioware) as Slinky Dog

Optimus Prime (Transformers Animated) as Sarge

Autobots (Transformers Animated) as Green Army Men

Dr. Crygor (Warioware) as Hamm

Garble (My Little Pony) as Sid Phillips

Smolder (My Little Pony) as Hanna Phillips

Flurry Heart (My Little Pony) as Molly Davis

Courage (Courage the Cowardly Dog) as Buster the Dog

Cake Wolf (Cookie Run Kingdom) as Scud

Door Entities (Roblox Doors) as Sid's Toys

Filbo Fiddlepie (Bugsnax) as Himself/Andy's Mayor Toy

Various Cartoon Characters as Andy's Toys, Al's Toy Barn Toys, Sunnyside Toys, and Antique Store/Lost Toys

Squid Ink Cookie (Cookie Run) as Wheezy

Affogato Cookie (Cookie Run Kingdom) as Stinky Pete

Henry Stein (Bendy Series) as Utility Belt Buzz

Ink Bendy (Bendy Series) as Emperor Zurg

Bowser (Mario) as Al

Centaurman (Megaman 6) as Bullseye

Cookimals (Cookie Run) as Little Green Men

Espresso Cookie (Cookie Run Kingdom) as Barbie

Mike (Warioware) as Himself/Hamm's Robot Friend

Spyro (Spyro Series) as Teen Andy Davis

Luna (My Little Pony) as Pre-Teen Molly Davis

King K. Rool (Donkey Kong) as Lotso

Pesci (JJBA Part 5) as Big Baby

Monty Gator (FNaF Security Breach) as Twitch

Hardman (Megaman 3) as Chunk

Sparkman (Megaman 3) as Sparks

Madeleine Cookie (Cookie Run Kingdom) as Ken

Gwess (JJBA Part 6) as Stretch

Wormsworth (Balan Wonderworld) as The Monkey

Abbacchio (With Moody Blues as an Extra) (JJBA Part 5) as Chatter Telephone

Floofty Fizzlebean (Bugsnax) as Bookworm

Scootaloo (My Little Pony) as Bonnie Anderson

Mane Allgood (My Little Pony) as Mrs. Anderson

Jimmy T. (Warioware) as Buttercup

Eclair Cookie (Cookie Run Kingdom) as Mr. Pricklepants

Cuckoo (Balan Wonderworld) as Trixie

Sana Hudson (Balan Wonderworld) as Herself/Trixie's Human Partner

Roxanne Wolf (FNaF Security Breach) as Dolly

Oliver, Jorge, and Mya (Poptropica) as Peas-in-a-pod

Weather Report (JJBA Part 6) as Chuckles the Clown

Wes Blumarine (JJBA Part 6) as Chuckles the Clown (Backstory)

Anasui, Emporio, Hermes, FF, and Jolyne (JJBA Part 6) as Themselves/Chuckles’s new friends

Penny (Warioware) as Herself/Hamm's Granddaughter

Doris-1 (Warioware) as Herself/Penny's Robot Companion

Glamrock Freddy (FNaF Security Breach) as Toronto

Diamond Tiara (My Little Pony) as Daisy

Gappy (JJBA Part 8) as Forky

Nudist Beach members (Kill la Kill) as Combat Carls

Mixmaster and Scrapper (Transformers Animated) as Ducky and Bunny (Their Bayverse Counterparts as Giant Ducky and Giant Bunny)

Schwarzwälder (Cookie Run) as Axel

Pumpkin Pie Cookie (Cookie Run Kingdom) as Gabby Gabby

Daddy Cakelegs and Baby Cakelegs (Bugsnax) as Bensons

Gyro Zeppeli (JJBA Part 7) as Duke Caboom

Johnny Joestar (JJBA Part 7) as Himself/Duke Caboom's Partner

Lulu (Warioware) as Officer McDimples

Yasuho (Jjba Part 8) as Knifey

[blackheartcircus]

I haven't been ill like this since before the pandemic. My brain is almost literally candy floss. Feel like I'm tripping about half the time I'm awake, and all my skin is burning, like a scald, it is HORRIBLE.

And did I eat vegetables or behave like a healthy grown up? No I did not. I ate a bacon sandwich,cookies, drank four espressos and thought about eclairs way too much. You can tell I lost two stone and am now eating everything again.

I legit feel like death. It's not even the flu FFS. Just a cold.

[yokelfelonking]

TEH WIT AND WASDOM OF TAOC TEH WODNER DOGG

"SNOWAWMEN MAY GET SEXUALY T RANSIMIITED DISEASEDS BUOT EHY GE T CHASED AFTER BYA CATTLE PROAD WIHT LEGS... fROM TEH OTHAR SIDE!!!!1"

"I AM CHICKAN FAEC"

"COREALFFNIBUGS IS LIEK A BUG DONUAT HAHHAHAHA NO"

"WOW, SOMEBDOY WROTES OEM WORDS ON A THING FI"

"I GOTS AGAEM, it was ÒCALSSIC ACTION PAKC!!Ó it had minaotaro in packaman and centapeadand cookie monstar and a thinag where yuo were a green thing and yuo hads to hop on boxes and steel banansas from pyaramids wiht legs taht shotxs tehirer top off and tried to lands on yuo. anD i onnlyay had one laeg and i was blue and ihads to rescue teh princes!!1! and there wree robots wiht tails and a racon and geoeragrpahy SO I HAD TO ENTAR HAR DMASTH QUEESTIONS LIEK ÒWAHT IS 40#% OF K Ò and i wasuold click ont eh ansar but if yuo gots it worng a big wiht a fork wuold stabs yuo a3nd yuowuold have to go baks to teh first box ther was a clown spaec aleintoo!! WELL I FOUGHT M Y WAT TO TO TEH TOP OF THE OXES AND THERE WA S A RED MAN WIHT A HAAT AND A DIAMOND ON HIS LEGS!!!!! and he shotos eleactraicirtiy AND HE WAS NAEM TEH MATH BOGGLARA!1 so i shotoed him"

"HOMELESS CHINEES MAN SELL YUO BAKC PACK, DONT BUYS IT IT HAS A CUARSE AMALET, TIHS SI YUOR FOARTUNE HOROSCOAP COOKY FOR TOADY HAAHAHHAHAHA"

"LUCILA NO COMITÓ EL CRIMEN"

"BYU DOT AN NET"

"sUGAR SI LIEK A CRAB: YOU WILL FINDS IT IN A CEREAL H AND IT HAS 8 LEAGS LIEK A SPIDAR"

"CORN SYRUP IS LIEK A POLYMER: YUO CAN BUILDAS AIRPALEN WIHT IT HAAHAHHA"

"WAHT SIT EH DIFFEARANECE BETWEEN A DUNCE AND A TEACHAR? ONE OF TEHM BATEES HOOKS AND TEH OTHAR ONES LOOKS STUPAD AHAHAAHA"

"DON'T STEEL MY GODZILA WA CAUSE I WAS PLAAYING IWHT IT TEH OTHAR DAYA AND IT TURN REDA ND A SHOTA LASER AND MY THUMBANAIL FELL OF!! SO DONT DO IT UNLESS YOU WANT A NEWE SNORLAX MAED OUT OF THAUMBNAILS TEHPOSSED GODZILA STOEL FROM LITTEL INDIAN CHILDRAN WHO HAEV TO EAT DIRT AND ROCKS AND WOARK 38 HOWERS A DAY AND HAVE NO LEGS AND 3 EYES"

"DAVID HASSELHOFF DISLIKES PIZZA"

"HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA TEH SECRAT PASSWOR DIS COURAGE DOOPS"

"HTML TAGAS AR AE A VITAL PART OF TIHS COMPLEAT BeAKFAST OR SOEMTHING"

"HAHAHAHA BEAKFAST BEAKMAN'S WORLD!! OZOOO ZOOO!!! I AM RAT MAN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH WAHT sI"

"HAHAAHA PENGUINS"

"I KNEW SOEMBODY WHO WAS FROM SAUDI ABARIA BUT HE WAS REALYL FROM CANFRISCO"

"AAHAHAAHHA STUUUMP BEEAAAAKMAN"

"BABE RUTH DISLIKES SUGAR"

"HAHAHAHHA REPEAL ROW VS. WAD"

"SXSSs NEVAR UNDARSESTISMATE TEH POWAR OF A SPAEC ALIAN"

"FI YUO AER GOING TO MAEKS A SKIN FOR FONDUEJAM OR WINAMPA O SOEMTHING MAEK OEN FOR TEH RESANDENST BECUASE TEHY AER CLOOL BUT MAEK TEH BUTTANS WOARK EBECASUE I HAT IT WEHN TEHY DONT WORK"

"i weant a cooky"

"iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii WEB DEISANG TIP: MAEK LIANKS WORK AND PUT A MIDI ON YUOR PAEG"

"SAT SCORING TIP: UES A PENCIL SO FIND IT!!!"

"ELACATRIC GOGGALS? HOW SI IT GOING TO CHAREG, IF AIR SHOOTS OUT OF YUOR EYE????/ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAAA!"

"TEHE DIFRERENCE BETWEEN A YOGI AND SNOT IS ATHT WOEN OF TEHM HAS A CATNO NAEMEAD FAFERTE THEM UT IT WAS REALLY NAEMED AFTER YOGI BEERRA AND TEH OTHAR OEN DOESAZNT!! HYO YOGI AHAAHAAHHA I LOEV TEH CAPRI SUNS"

"YUO WANT A WIT? HEAR SI A WIT!!!!1 GO SEE "TEH UNUSUAL SUPSECT" GODO MOVIE, IT AHS KEVIN COSTARD IN IT OR SOEMTHING"

"BUZAR< IK LIEK TEAHT GAEM WHEN YUO ARE A SAFAIR EXPLORAR ONT EH BROWN MOUANATINGS AND TEHRE SI A BIARD AND TEH BIRD GO'S ARUOND WHEN YUO PRES A BUTTAN AND SOEMTIEMS IT DOES TAeK YUOR MAN AND PUTS HIM IN A DIFFARANT PALEC, MAEKS YUO SAY "GRAAARGH!!!!!!" AHAHAHAHAHA WOWOOOOOB TEH GRAEP ECSAPE!! AHHAHHAHAH WHEE I AM CLAY GRAEP AND TEH FOOT SMARSHES ME HAHHAHAHAHA AOOPS INTARMAISSION TIEM, FLIP TEH DVD OVAR HAAHHAHAH oh wate taht si teh GRATE ecsape"

"ff how coem it jeeps"

"I AM A ROTATIANG GIF, STEEL MY FOREHEAD"

"A TT HISZ OPINT IS TIS STPYE TO RUN!!!!!!!1 run into teh audaiaenceas and steal someabodys wallat!! TAHN EAT IT. lliekkkk in tootahtbrush/?"

"trunliek a goose!! AND QUAKC!! people wanta a duck eclair"

"WOW!!1!!1"

"ef I AM MISTAR SPAEC AJ J AA HOOJOO1!!! I AHAEVA WMAGIFAC SABILLITYWILTES AND I G CAN FIND WOLFY LIEK IN SPAEC RADARS HAAHHA IAM WOLFEY WEALCOME TO MY STAND OF STAND AHAHHA I AM ARSTIASNANS OF UARN"

"OOPS SOEOMBODY STOLE MY WALLAT AND M YINNAR EAR"

"IAM GRGHAUEDIHLDWAHLKWANDKLANDAL TEH MAAGIRACAL MSITSYIJETIRIYTIYACIL WIZZARD WHOS HOTS LASARS OUT OF HIYSY YEYES AND HAS TWO FIERS AND GIEVS YUO HALPGUL ADVIEC AND MAEKS TEACUPS ECPKLOED"

"HWO DO I KILL TEH CRAB"

"AAAHA TEH CRABS SHOTOED A BUBAL AND MAED MY BOMB NOT WOARK"

"TEH CRAB LANDAD ON ME"

"DOAH HAHAHA I AM WITTAY LIEK HOMAR GROANING"

"HAHAHAHA DARTH ARTIAFIAICAL INSEMINATIAON AHAHHAHA KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM YUOR BILAOALIVIGIXCAL FATHER LUEK!!!1 AHHAHAHAHAAHWFD HPF OWD g"

"SIR ALECA GUINNES CAPTIAVAETS US WIHT A GRIPPING AND POWERFAUL VISIION OF AN APOCALPYTIC WINDOW PROPPED OPEN WIHT A BLUE KAZOO"

"A GODO WAY TO BRING YOUR THEOCRAzY INTO POWAR IS TO GIVE ALL TEH FARM ANIMALS YOU CONTROL IRON FOREHEAD!!!! TAHT WAY NOBODY REBALCAN SNEEK INTO YUOR BASE AND STEAL THERE BRANES WIHT A STRAW AND TWO TOOTHPICKS!! ONEC I SAW SOMEBODY SPIT ON HIS ARM AND PUT A THING ON IT TO MAEK A CAT!!!"

"I WROTE A FUNNAY SONG HERE IT SII: ,YOUA RE CORVERED WITH GRIME JANES BOND SAYS WHERE WHERE YOU ON A TEH NIGHT OF TEH CRIEM? BUT T TEHN HE WAS CONVERED WITH GREEN SLIEM LIEK GORGE ORWELL OR SOEMTHING"

"ONEC I SAW SOEMBODY TAKTE 2 PIEN NEEDLES AND STICK THEM THROUGH THERE LIPS AND HOLD TEHRE LIPS TOGETHAR"

"ONCE I ATE A HOLLY BLUBBLE GUM"

"ONE TIME PHILIP GLASS KICKED ME SO I HIT HIM WITH A JUMPROEP"

"HEY KIDDS!! RTY TIUHS AT HOEM!!! GO TO TEH BEEHC AND SPIT ON YOUR ARM AND DARW A PRETTY PICTURE WIHT SPIT!! TEHN PUT SAND ON IT. TEHN PUT YOUR ARM IN AN ICEMAKER THING AND FILL YUOR ARM WIHT ORANGE JUICE AND STICK TOOTHPIKCS THROUGH IT TO MAEK ARM ORANGE JUICE SPIT POSPICLES!!!!1"

"19TH CENTUARY POLITICAL REVOLUTINARYISTSS AND MODERN CLASICAL MUSIC PERFORRMERS AND COMPOSERS KEEP KICKING ME!! STOP KIKCING ME WILLIAM ORBIT!!!"

"STOP KICKING ME PHILIP GLASS!"

"CEASE YOUR KIKCING ACTION, MICKAL BAKUNIN!"

"FEWFWPJWPOJ!! ARGGH!! TAHT'S it IM CALLING CONSTABLE JONES AND TEL HIM TO STEEL A GRAPE AND MAKE TEH GRAPE TO PACIFEY YOU WHIEL I STEEL YOUR WALLAT"

"KKKHHHHHKKHH HKHHKLGJBBK I AM DARTH WEBCAM HAHAHAA oosp"

"GERTJGJR HRURRRRRF!! DRATTE!! FOLIED AGANE!! YUO METALING KILLED ALWAYS PLAYING TETRIS AND PUTTIANG A THAING UNDAR AN ACTION LASAR TO MAEK THE SQUARE COEM TO LIEF!!!!!11 AND TE HSQUARE ATTACKS ME AND FOLIES KMY EVIL PLAN TO REPLAEC ALL TEH WORL'DS FARM ANIMALS WIHT FROOT LOOPS!!11 HUrhghRGHRU!U!! SJO ANGETRTY HTIS MAEKSE EMEA NAGRAney ATO enougsh to tJR jtorj tRA t wet a PEN HAP! hoihoih eof oosp ƒ"

"fere I HAVE A SCOBEY DOO STRICKAR"

"HHEEEEYYYYT!!!!!!!!!! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AMMAMMMMMMMMMMM SNOWWWWE RFEEEEDD PARAAAAGRAAAAPPHH ? ?!!!111111 WHOT URNED OTU TEH LIGHTS??"

"ONE TIEM MY FREND WAS ON THISW EBSITE WIHT A MAGIC JESTER WHO MAED HIS COMPUTAR CRASH!! B"UT IT WAS O. K. EBCAUSE HE MAED A FOLOOPPY DISK AND BIT IT"

"YOUJ CANT GO THERE,!!!1 ITS DARK AND YUO AER LIEKELYL TO BE EATAN BY A RGH!! HAHGRREAEHhaAhaewoospFropek/????R S Sameul beeckaekt has no glrelgs yuo litle snieveling eo mfnao 1!! aAAOAOOPS!!11@!1 aAagargrgoirhgorighoirhoi1h1111 fn nathan barleyJEO WRFJOJ PO hofot1!!!eerkp oops"

"HEAR SI TEH EPITOMEY FO MY WIT AND WITSOM: g"

"aND NOW WOn 100101 a things to do wiht atigar: KIL TI!"

"I AHAHAHAHAAA LI I LOEV ICET TEAEE AND DEAD RACOONS"

"OH ON!!!!!11 TEHJ EVAL VILLIAN HAS A DEATH RAY LIEK IN X-MEN!! VILIAN SEYS: 'WOWOHHOHOHO!H!O!! I WILL TURN ALL TEH CITISENS OF LOS ANGELAS INTO PROLETARIANS!! ALSO I WILL SSIMPOBOLICALY PLAEC MEY EVIL WORKING CLAS MUTANTA MACHIEN ON TEH STATU OF LIBARty GOOD GUYS: 'N O YUO MUST STOP' VILLIAN: 'NO!!' GOOD GUSy: 'OH NO!! WE HAEV TO STOP HIM!! THERE ARE A LOT OF RICH PEOPLE ON THAT ISLAND OVAR THEIRE!!!' VILIAN: 'I HAVE A BLUE FLIP-FLOP!!!"

"GRRR!11 IAM XAN KEREEGeR!1 HGGroi GHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM TEH ALPA AND TEH ½ AND TWO CAN SAM"

"LO@OE!!!O@K LO!! GAAAAU!! AOOOOO!!!!!! TYUO.... BAD PEOPLE!! YUO SCARE ANIMALS!!!1 h"

"NISTRUCTIONS: EAT WHEN HUNGRY"

"AHAAHAHAHAHAHHH BUUUUUUuhh!!!! CAPTIN FOBREI TO TEH RESCUE!! DODODODOO!! WHEREVERE THEIR SI DEPANY, CAPTION FOBREIIE SI TEHRE!! WHEREVER TEHSE SI Hao FOOD STRIEK PINK MILKSHAKE, CAPATIN FOBRARIE SIT EHRE!!! CAPTIAN FOBRIE WHAT DO YOU URN ON? I RUN On COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!"

"BEAT- ITS WAHT'S FOR DINNAR!!!!! AHAHAAHAA"

"ShAMPOOO- ITWS WAHTS FOR DINNAR! BAAHAHAHAH!~!!"

"FROGS- ITS WAHTS FOR DINAAR !HABAAHAAFHEVGFSPjpersojfp oWJ#DOPJDPOJOPJ#POJOPPOJ"

"FARPwe- ITS WAHT AS FOR EWDINAEWFIEN! AHAHAHHAHaaefAWHREJ@#PJ RPHAHEPDO SZO FUNNY SOO FUANY"

"POEWR- EOI TSI WHAHTHSFOR DIANGNARTIEHNI!! HAAHFGGQAAHSHFUDGIHOHO2R @#RF(J(CAÔÔØ´öÅ#@_DJC)_ERV)_BGFKBNMN> N>BG?><J:OZ fjj"

"AHAR DMARTH PERIEBLM: x­F SOLVE FOR X AND ASUPOR TUYO ARNANN d gRTAHC Cvj VVCCSaa"

"I HAD NOS HEOS, AND I FLET SORREY FOR MYSLEF, TEHNI ONCE MET A MANN WITH NO LEGS, HE TRIED TO STEAL MY WALLAT"

"CAP FORF A LE G IS LIKE A HOUSE WIHTOUT A BONNET: IT HAS TO FIND THE BEUL KEY TO PEN BLUE DOR!!!!!! YAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"THERE IS A SUBMARIEN!!!! MAKE ONE OUT OF BREDE."

"FEPO W"

"FRAINKIE HOWARD LOOKS LIKE A BOONE!!!!!!1 SO YOU MUST WATCH HIM OUT!! BUT HERE S SI THE BIG THING PROBLEM!!:: YOU CANT TARETI IBM!!!!1 LIEK!!! A TAORT CARD!!! CUAUSE AND EWPOK SHOTS ELECTRICITIEY SSSS!!!!!!!!!! SO HERAR IS IS WAHT YOPU MUST DO!!!! FIRST GET A BOOK AND MAKE A TOWER OUT OF IT BY TAKEIN G THE PAGES OUT AND STACKING THEM. THEN JUM!P!!"

"ONCE IWENT TO THE SUPEARMARKET AND THEREW AS A CLERK THERE AND HE SAYS PAPAR AND PLASTIC AND I SAID TEXT WARAP AND SOHE GET ME TUNAT FISH AND SAID NO I WANTEDA A TEXT RAP!!!!!!11 AND I SHOTO HIM WITH LAASARS"

"USE YUOR POWER OF TELEPEPTELTATHY!"

"FE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AIR CONDITIONING IS MAKE MYT HEAD GO ALL UPSIDEDOWNE!! ADNT ALKING IN REVERSE BECAUSE THE MACHINE REBELELED ANC STOLL MY POOP"

"MAN NAMED FRANK LOVES TO DA TAHT, YUO KNOW"

Apparently they're selling post content to train AI now so let us be the first to say, flu nork purple too? West motor vehicle surprise hamster much! Apple neat weed very crumgible oysters in a patagonia, my hat. Very of the and some then shall we not? Much jelly.

[dappersheep]

Spaghetti: I want an Ono Kensho.

Borscht: We have many Ono Kensho at home.

The OnoKen/s at home:

[foodfantasyimagines]

Yeah I ain’t got no new confessions so I’m just posting thirst memes of character I simp over until I get some.😩

[ice-arena-meltdown]

What a lovely day to rememberthat Éclair is transfeminine or non-binary.

[blakeandaffairs]

Food Fantasy Monocolored Series 4/?

[flip-flan-flonne]

Eclair is finally getting a skin!

[kaydeedc]

03-25-21

Happy Birthday to Abe Atsushi!

He is the voice behind Moritaka Mashiro (Bakuman) and Osaka Sogo (IDOLiSH7). He's also known for voicing Kamijou Touma (Toaru Majutsu no Index).

[ff-ringo]

Eclair Skin- Heart Moves to the Music 

"Master Attendant, hurry up, come and enjoy the beauty of music with me!"

[browniesexual]

Brownie: That's ridiculous, B-52 doesn't have a crush on me.

Napoleon cake: yes he does.

Eclair: yes he does.

Pastel de nata: yes he does.

B-52: yes i do.

[abyssalandromeda]

picking up my kk⭐️pcalm au again with eclair! he’s an electric eel which, yes, isn’t french in origin, but i felt it fit too perfectly! i’m starting to hit art block, which is why i’ve slowed down my art for this au, but i’m hoping to at least try and finish out the dessert delight squad before hitting the pause on this au. if you have any requests for characters you’d like to see though, please let me know!

[yokelfelonking]

TEH WIT AND WASDOM OF TAOC TEH WODNER DOGG

"SNOWAWMEN MAY GET SEXUALY T RANSIMIITED DISEASEDS BUOT EHY GE T CHASED AFTER BYA CATTLE PROAD WIHT LEGS... fROM TEH OTHAR SIDE!!!!1"

"I AM CHICKAN FAEC"

"COREALFFNIBUGS IS LIEK A BUG DONUAT HAHHAHAHA NO"

"WOW, SOMEBDOY WROTES OEM WORDS ON A THING FI"

"I GOTS AGAEM, it was ÒCALSSIC ACTION PAKC!!Ó it had minaotaro in packaman and centapeadand cookie monstar and a thinag where yuo were a green thing and yuo hads to hop on boxes and steel banansas from pyaramids wiht legs taht shotxs tehirer top off and tried to lands on yuo. anD i onnlyay had one laeg and i was blue and ihads to rescue teh princes!!1! and there wree robots wiht tails and a racon and geoeragrpahy SO I HAD TO ENTAR HAR DMASTH QUEESTIONS LIEK ÒWAHT IS 40#% OF K Ò and i wasuold click ont eh ansar but if yuo gots it worng a big wiht a fork wuold stabs yuo a3nd yuowuold have to go baks to teh first box ther was a clown spaec aleintoo!! WELL I FOUGHT M Y WAT TO TO TEH TOP OF THE OXES AND THERE WA S A RED MAN WIHT A HAAT AND A DIAMOND ON HIS LEGS!!!!! and he shotos eleactraicirtiy AND HE WAS NAEM TEH MATH BOGGLARA!1 so i shotoed him"

"HOMELESS CHINEES MAN SELL YUO BAKC PACK, DONT BUYS IT IT HAS A CUARSE AMALET, TIHS SI YUOR FOARTUNE HOROSCOAP COOKY FOR TOADY HAAHAHHAHAHA"

"LUCILA NO COMITÓ EL CRIMEN"

"BYU DOT AN NET"

"sUGAR SI LIEK A CRAB: YOU WILL FINDS IT IN A CEREAL H AND IT HAS 8 LEAGS LIEK A SPIDAR"

"CORN SYRUP IS LIEK A POLYMER: YUO CAN BUILDAS AIRPALEN WIHT IT HAAHAHHA"

"WAHT SIT EH DIFFEARANECE BETWEEN A DUNCE AND A TEACHAR? ONE OF TEHM BATEES HOOKS AND TEH OTHAR ONES LOOKS STUPAD AHAHAAHA"

"DON'T STEEL MY GODZILA WA CAUSE I WAS PLAAYING IWHT IT TEH OTHAR DAYA AND IT TURN REDA ND A SHOTA LASER AND MY THUMBANAIL FELL OF!! SO DONT DO IT UNLESS YOU WANT A NEWE SNORLAX MAED OUT OF THAUMBNAILS TEHPOSSED GODZILA STOEL FROM LITTEL INDIAN CHILDRAN WHO HAEV TO EAT DIRT AND ROCKS AND WOARK 38 HOWERS A DAY AND HAVE NO LEGS AND 3 EYES"

"DAVID HASSELHOFF DISLIKES PIZZA"

"HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA TEH SECRAT PASSWOR DIS COURAGE DOOPS"

"HTML TAGAS AR AE A VITAL PART OF TIHS COMPLEAT BeAKFAST OR SOEMTHING"

"HAHAHAHA BEAKFAST BEAKMAN'S WORLD!! OZOOO ZOOO!!! I AM RAT MAN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH WAHT sI"

"HAHAAHA PENGUINS"

"I KNEW SOEMBODY WHO WAS FROM SAUDI ABARIA BUT HE WAS REALYL FROM CANFRISCO"

"AAHAHAAHHA STUUUMP BEEAAAAKMAN"

"BABE RUTH DISLIKES SUGAR"

"HAHAHAHHA REPEAL ROW VS. WAD"

"SXSSs NEVAR UNDARSESTISMATE TEH POWAR OF A SPAEC ALIAN"

"FI YUO AER GOING TO MAEKS A SKIN FOR FONDUEJAM OR WINAMPA O SOEMTHING MAEK OEN FOR TEH RESANDENST BECUASE TEHY AER CLOOL BUT MAEK TEH BUTTANS WOARK EBECASUE I HAT IT WEHN TEHY DONT WORK"

"i weant a cooky"

"iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii WEB DEISANG TIP: MAEK LIANKS WORK AND PUT A MIDI ON YUOR PAEG"

"SAT SCORING TIP: UES A PENCIL SO FIND IT!!!"

"ELACATRIC GOGGALS? HOW SI IT GOING TO CHAREG, IF AIR SHOOTS OUT OF YUOR EYE????/ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAAA!"

"TEHE DIFRERENCE BETWEEN A YOGI AND SNOT IS ATHT WOEN OF TEHM HAS A CATNO NAEMEAD FAFERTE THEM UT IT WAS REALLY NAEMED AFTER YOGI BEERRA AND TEH OTHAR OEN DOESAZNT!! HYO YOGI AHAAHAAHHA I LOEV TEH CAPRI SUNS"

"YUO WANT A WIT? HEAR SI A WIT!!!!1 GO SEE "TEH UNUSUAL SUPSECT" GODO MOVIE, IT AHS KEVIN COSTARD IN IT OR SOEMTHING"

"BUZAR< IK LIEK TEAHT GAEM WHEN YUO ARE A SAFAIR EXPLORAR ONT EH BROWN MOUANATINGS AND TEHRE SI A BIARD AND TEH BIRD GO'S ARUOND WHEN YUO PRES A BUTTAN AND SOEMTIEMS IT DOES TAeK YUOR MAN AND PUTS HIM IN A DIFFARANT PALEC, MAEKS YUO SAY "GRAAARGH!!!!!!" AHAHAHAHAHA WOWOOOOOB TEH GRAEP ECSAPE!! AHHAHHAHAH WHEE I AM CLAY GRAEP AND TEH FOOT SMARSHES ME HAHHAHAHAHA AOOPS INTARMAISSION TIEM, FLIP TEH DVD OVAR HAAHHAHAH oh wate taht si teh GRATE ecsape"

"ff how coem it jeeps"

"I AM A ROTATIANG GIF, STEEL MY FOREHEAD"

"A TT HISZ OPINT IS TIS STPYE TO RUN!!!!!!!1 run into teh audaiaenceas and steal someabodys wallat!! TAHN EAT IT. lliekkkk in tootahtbrush/?"

"trunliek a goose!! AND QUAKC!! people wanta a duck eclair"

"WOW!!1!!1"

"ef I AM MISTAR SPAEC AJ J AA HOOJOO1!!! I AHAEVA WMAGIFAC SABILLITYWILTES AND I G CAN FIND WOLFY LIEK IN SPAEC RADARS HAAHHA IAM WOLFEY WEALCOME TO MY STAND OF STAND AHAHHA I AM ARSTIASNANS OF UARN"

"OOPS SOEOMBODY STOLE MY WALLAT AND M YINNAR EAR"

"IAM GRGHAUEDIHLDWAHLKWANDKLANDAL TEH MAAGIRACAL MSITSYIJETIRIYTIYACIL WIZZARD WHOS HOTS LASARS OUT OF HIYSY YEYES AND HAS TWO FIERS AND GIEVS YUO HALPGUL ADVIEC AND MAEKS TEACUPS ECPKLOED"

"HWO DO I KILL TEH CRAB"

"AAAHA TEH CRABS SHOTOED A BUBAL AND MAED MY BOMB NOT WOARK"

"TEH CRAB LANDAD ON ME"

"DOAH HAHAHA I AM WITTAY LIEK HOMAR GROANING"

"HAHAHAHA DARTH ARTIAFIAICAL INSEMINATIAON AHAHHAHA KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM YUOR BILAOALIVIGIXCAL FATHER LUEK!!!1 AHHAHAHAHAAHWFD HPF OWD g"

"SIR ALECA GUINNES CAPTIAVAETS US WIHT A GRIPPING AND POWERFAUL VISIION OF AN APOCALPYTIC WINDOW PROPPED OPEN WIHT A BLUE KAZOO"

"A GODO WAY TO BRING YOUR THEOCRAzY INTO POWAR IS TO GIVE ALL TEH FARM ANIMALS YOU CONTROL IRON FOREHEAD!!!! TAHT WAY NOBODY REBALCAN SNEEK INTO YUOR BASE AND STEAL THERE BRANES WIHT A STRAW AND TWO TOOTHPICKS!! ONEC I SAW SOMEBODY SPIT ON HIS ARM AND PUT A THING ON IT TO MAEK A CAT!!!"

"I WROTE A FUNNAY SONG HERE IT SII: ,YOUA RE CORVERED WITH GRIME JANES BOND SAYS WHERE WHERE YOU ON A TEH NIGHT OF TEH CRIEM? BUT T TEHN HE WAS CONVERED WITH GREEN SLIEM LIEK GORGE ORWELL OR SOEMTHING"

"ONEC I SAW SOEMBODY TAKTE 2 PIEN NEEDLES AND STICK THEM THROUGH THERE LIPS AND HOLD TEHRE LIPS TOGETHAR"

"ONCE I ATE A HOLLY BLUBBLE GUM"

"ONE TIME PHILIP GLASS KICKED ME SO I HIT HIM WITH A JUMPROEP"

"HEY KIDDS!! RTY TIUHS AT HOEM!!! GO TO TEH BEEHC AND SPIT ON YOUR ARM AND DARW A PRETTY PICTURE WIHT SPIT!! TEHN PUT SAND ON IT. TEHN PUT YOUR ARM IN AN ICEMAKER THING AND FILL YUOR ARM WIHT ORANGE JUICE AND STICK TOOTHPIKCS THROUGH IT TO MAEK ARM ORANGE JUICE SPIT POSPICLES!!!!1"

"19TH CENTUARY POLITICAL REVOLUTINARYISTSS AND MODERN CLASICAL MUSIC PERFORRMERS AND COMPOSERS KEEP KICKING ME!! STOP KIKCING ME WILLIAM ORBIT!!!"

"STOP KICKING ME PHILIP GLASS!"

"CEASE YOUR KIKCING ACTION, MICKAL BAKUNIN!"

"FEWFWPJWPOJ!! ARGGH!! TAHT'S it IM CALLING CONSTABLE JONES AND TEL HIM TO STEEL A GRAPE AND MAKE TEH GRAPE TO PACIFEY YOU WHIEL I STEEL YOUR WALLAT"

"KKKHHHHHKKHH HKHHKLGJBBK I AM DARTH WEBCAM HAHAHAA oosp"

"GERTJGJR HRURRRRRF!! DRATTE!! FOLIED AGANE!! YUO METALING KILLED ALWAYS PLAYING TETRIS AND PUTTIANG A THAING UNDAR AN ACTION LASAR TO MAEK THE SQUARE COEM TO LIEF!!!!!11 AND TE HSQUARE ATTACKS ME AND FOLIES KMY EVIL PLAN TO REPLAEC ALL TEH WORL'DS FARM ANIMALS WIHT FROOT LOOPS!!11 HUrhghRGHRU!U!! SJO ANGETRTY HTIS MAEKSE EMEA NAGRAney ATO enougsh to tJR jtorj tRA t wet a PEN HAP! hoihoih eof oosp ƒ"

"fere I HAVE A SCOBEY DOO STRICKAR"

"HHEEEEYYYYT!!!!!!!!!! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AMMAMMMMMMMMMMM SNOWWWWE RFEEEEDD PARAAAAGRAAAAPPHH ? ?!!!111111 WHOT URNED OTU TEH LIGHTS??"

"ONE TIEM MY FREND WAS ON THISW EBSITE WIHT A MAGIC JESTER WHO MAED HIS COMPUTAR CRASH!! B"UT IT WAS O. K. EBCAUSE HE MAED A FOLOOPPY DISK AND BIT IT"

"YOUJ CANT GO THERE,!!!1 ITS DARK AND YUO AER LIEKELYL TO BE EATAN BY A RGH!! HAHGRREAEHhaAhaewoospFropek/????R S Sameul beeckaekt has no glrelgs yuo litle snieveling eo mfnao 1!! aAAOAOOPS!!11@!1 aAagargrgoirhgorighoirhoi1h1111 fn nathan barleyJEO WRFJOJ PO hofot1!!!eerkp oops"

"HEAR SI TEH EPITOMEY FO MY WIT AND WITSOM: g"

"aND NOW WOn 100101 a things to do wiht atigar: KIL TI!"

"I AHAHAHAHAAA LI I LOEV ICET TEAEE AND DEAD RACOONS"

"OH ON!!!!!11 TEHJ EVAL VILLIAN HAS A DEATH RAY LIEK IN X-MEN!! VILIAN SEYS: 'WOWOHHOHOHO!H!O!! I WILL TURN ALL TEH CITISENS OF LOS ANGELAS INTO PROLETARIANS!! ALSO I WILL SSIMPOBOLICALY PLAEC MEY EVIL WORKING CLAS MUTANTA MACHIEN ON TEH STATU OF LIBARty GOOD GUYS: 'N O YUO MUST STOP' VILLIAN: 'NO!!' GOOD GUSy: 'OH NO!! WE HAEV TO STOP HIM!! THERE ARE A LOT OF RICH PEOPLE ON THAT ISLAND OVAR THEIRE!!!' VILIAN: 'I HAVE A BLUE FLIP-FLOP!!!"

"GRRR!11 IAM XAN KEREEGeR!1 HGGroi GHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM TEH ALPA AND TEH ½ AND TWO CAN SAM"

"LO@OE!!!O@K LO!! GAAAAU!! AOOOOO!!!!!! TYUO.... BAD PEOPLE!! YUO SCARE ANIMALS!!!1 h"

"NISTRUCTIONS: EAT WHEN HUNGRY"

"AHAAHAHAHAHAHHH BUUUUUUuhh!!!! CAPTIN FOBREI TO TEH RESCUE!! DODODODOO!! WHEREVERE THEIR SI DEPANY, CAPTION FOBREIIE SI TEHRE!! WHEREVER TEHSE SI Hao FOOD STRIEK PINK MILKSHAKE, CAPATIN FOBRARIE SIT EHRE!!! CAPTIAN FOBRIE WHAT DO YOU URN ON? I RUN On COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!"

"BEAT- ITS WAHT'S FOR DINNAR!!!!! AHAHAAHAA"

"ShAMPOOO- ITWS WAHTS FOR DINNAR! BAAHAHAHAH!~!!"

"FROGS- ITS WAHTS FOR DINAAR !HABAAHAAFHEVGFSPjpersojfp oWJ#DOPJDPOJOPJ#POJOPPOJ"

"FARPwe- ITS WAHT AS FOR EWDINAEWFIEN! AHAHAHHAHaaefAWHREJ@#PJ RPHAHEPDO SZO FUNNY SOO FUANY"

"POEWR- EOI TSI WHAHTHSFOR DIANGNARTIEHNI!! HAAHFGGQAAHSHFUDGIHOHO2R @#RF(J(CAÔÔØ´öÅ#@_DJC)_ERV)_BGFKBNMN> N>BG?><J:OZ fjj"

"AHAR DMARTH PERIEBLM: x­F SOLVE FOR X AND ASUPOR TUYO ARNANN d gRTAHC Cvj VVCCSaa"

"I HAD NOS HEOS, AND I FLET SORREY FOR MYSLEF, TEHNI ONCE MET A MANN WITH NO LEGS, HE TRIED TO STEAL MY WALLAT"

"CAP FORF A LE G IS LIKE A HOUSE WIHTOUT A BONNET: IT HAS TO FIND THE BEUL KEY TO PEN BLUE DOR!!!!!! YAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"THERE IS A SUBMARIEN!!!! MAKE ONE OUT OF BREDE."

"FEPO W"

"FRAINKIE HOWARD LOOKS LIKE A BOONE!!!!!!1 SO YOU MUST WATCH HIM OUT!! BUT HERE S SI THE BIG THING PROBLEM!!:: YOU CANT TARETI IBM!!!!1 LIEK!!! A TAORT CARD!!! CUAUSE AND EWPOK SHOTS ELECTRICITIEY SSSS!!!!!!!!!! SO HERAR IS IS WAHT YOPU MUST DO!!!! FIRST GET A BOOK AND MAKE A TOWER OUT OF IT BY TAKEIN G THE PAGES OUT AND STACKING THEM. THEN JUM!P!!"

"ONCE IWENT TO THE SUPEARMARKET AND THEREW AS A CLERK THERE AND HE SAYS PAPAR AND PLASTIC AND I SAID TEXT WARAP AND SOHE GET ME TUNAT FISH AND SAID NO I WANTEDA A TEXT RAP!!!!!!11 AND I SHOTO HIM WITH LAASARS"

"USE YUOR POWER OF TELEPEPTELTATHY!"

"FE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AIR CONDITIONING IS MAKE MYT HEAD GO ALL UPSIDEDOWNE!! ADNT ALKING IN REVERSE BECAUSE THE MACHINE REBELELED ANC STOLL MY POOP"

"MAN NAMED FRANK LOVES TO DA TAHT, YUO KNOW"

[incorrect-food-fantasy-quotes]

Executioner: Last meal?

Eclair: I want to eat the electric chair.

Executioner: [through walkie talkie] Can he do that?