#feyre and cas are such bros

[readychilledwine]

I'm a coward so here I am. Anonymously 🙃

So the size kink fic with Az had me feral and as a 4'10" lil chonk I am obsessed with that particular kink I am foaming at the mouth for part 2 and the cassian one.

You don't see it much and I feel like the whole body positivity has focused on curvier and taller ladies who very much need that love but some of us have no torso and have the table come up to our literal neck when we sit down.

I'm curvy but the size of a literal child with some hips and it sucks even when bodies aren't described like if I was going to stick my tongue down an Illyrians throat I wouldn't be leaning in I'd need a trampoline some stilts and supernatural intervention.

I love what you do and I look forward to reading more of it. Your fics have been something I run to and run back to all the time. If you wrote more of a teeny reader with Cas or Az (Rhys got big bro zoned in my mind he's totally feyres 😂) with a blind or deaf reader I'd probably cry I'm a sucker for angst and would love to see some representation for that too.

I feel like it's so rude to ask for a series vs a one shot but I'd pay at this point with my rent money 😭 again you're amazing thank you for creating a little place I can go hide when I'm done with the world 🥹

So... I feel bad because so many things got buried in my ask box with kink bingo

I do plan on doing a size kink series with different body types. Tiny reader with Cass and Az had been requested a lot, so there will be more of our little lady climbing them like trees.

**I did also start a part 2 of the size kink fic I wrote and still have the cassian on almost ready.. so many things are just needing an edit or me to decide to die like an Illyrian (thank you @acourtofladydeath for commenting that once and now it's suck in my head)**

[mamoonde-thinks]

finished reading acotar books 1 - 3.5 and now all i want is for more aus where feyre meets cas and/or az first, or even mor first, and when she first meets rhys, rhys gets sucker punched literally and figuratively and then generally becomes a mess, w the bat bros and mor laughing themselves silly in the bg

[grimmusings]

⭐ (returning the favour from when I reblogged this meme)

⭐ Cassian (ACOTAR) + Feyre Archeron (ACOTAR): I just love them being bros, okay? Cassian is her biggest fan for making their High Lord the happiest he's ever been.

⭐ Hercules (Greek mythology) + Hera (Greek mythology): He hates me for this, but in my modern AUs, Herc has read his story and knows that Hera drives him mad enough to kill his wife and kids. He's scared shitless of her, and I like to torment my muses.

⭐ Castiel (Supernatural) + Aziraphale (Good Omens): Please, I need ineffable besties! Cas offers this broken stone tablet in Enochian for Az's book collection (may or may not contain information helpful for averting the apocalypse 💛).

[hellas-himself]

Where There Are Shadows Pt 29

My wifi has been absolute shit. So I have been writing tons just in case I can’t get online through the laptop. 

If you haven’t read ACOFAS. This is spoilery. I know I say that every time but in the event someone new sees this in passing, I don’t wanna ruin it for you. 

Happy Friday yall. 

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-Feyre-

 Azriel, Cassian and Rhys stood over a table, looking at a map. Cassian, of the three, seemed the most upset. But I didn’t blame him. I couldn’t. Rhys and Az had failed to mention the problems arising in the Illyrian camps. I understood why they’d done it. Especially since they were mere rumors, mostly, but rumors had caused my family so much pain… 

I cleared my throat as I stepped into the room. The three of them looked up, immediately their features softened. It made me blush.

“We got a letter.” I held up the envelope in my hand. Rhysand’s eyes widened before he broke into a grin. Azriel offered me a small smile before he pulled Cas away.

“Let’s go see what the fox had sent to our doors,” he said and Cas was all too glad to go.

I went right up to Rhys and sat down on his lap. I was as giddy as a child on Solstice, carefully opening the envelope. It had gold wax with the Day Court seal.

“He’s learning,” Rhys said with a smile. Lucien had been using his emissary’s seal- a dark green wax stam

ped with his initials.

Rhys and Feyre, I miss you both terribly.

I know that it has only been three weeks, but it feels like an eternity.

Feyre- I’ve been wearing the nightclothes you sent every night since. Beware, Helion wants the same pair but in white. Everyone has sung praises of your art, love. Helion has had your painting of his palace hung up in his office.

Grandmother reminds me of Amren, I suppose, for her appreciation of fine jewelry. You did very well, Rhysand. My aunt is just dying to meet you both. She reminds me of Morrigan, which is a welcoming comfort- seeing her in Night Court fashion was… well, let us say that she made quite the impression on some lords last night. I hear talk of marriage proposals. She would eviscerate them all.

Rhys, you absolute prick- my grandmother was there when I received your gifts. Thank the gods that the others were so enthralled with theirs they did not ask what else was in the box. And I am sure you are laughing as you read this. Tell Feyre to kick your ass for me. I’d winnow over to do it myself but then I know I’d never leave.  

I’ve held court with Helion a few times now. It reminds me of home in a way. He treats everyone as if they were his family. Everyone says we look alike, especially now that I dress the way he does- sometimes. It is strange, but perhaps the closest thing to comfort than being completely bare. And do not ask me to wear it at home. I won’t have Rhys pouncing on me every second, although Feyre- you are no better. Gods, I miss you both.

We’ve gone hiking together, even my mother joined us. I’ve never seen her in pants before. Do not be surprised if she asks to go on a “hunt” with you, Feyre. She’s taken up archery. I don’t know where she finds the time. When you’re here, we’ll go together- to the mountains. There are things I can’t even begin to describe without butchering them. I am fairly certain Feyre, my love, that you will find countless things to sketch and paint here. If Helion asks for a portrait, please deny him. He is as preposterous as Rhys.

But I miss you. I still find it hard to sleep alone without you both. However, I will not have either of you sad nor considering leaving behind your duties. The formal court nonsense will be in Azriel’s hands shortly, news of the Mortal Lands- which is nothing new. Jurian is cross with me, but that is not important. Vassa is happy for me -us- surprised, but happy.

Helion and I are going to the villa in a few days. It will be raining in the mountains and he plans on witnessing it firsthand. My mother is excited. She believes he and I will get a chance to get to know one another better.

There will be guards there. Some wild beast he apparently raised since birth. We’ll be safe. I will not be able to write until I return. The rains will make the way dangerous. Please try to write before I go.

I miss you.

Lucien

I read it again, practically hearing his voice as I did. I knew when he was laughing. When he was rolling his eyes. And the paper, it smelled like him, a detail that Rhys did not miss. He smiled, taking the letter from me and reading it quietly to himself once more.

“I never thought I’d miss that bastard as much as I do,” Rhys said as he folded the letter and neatly returned it to the envelope. We’d add it to the other two letters we kept at home.

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“I never thought that I would see you missing him as much as you do. I’m usually the one pining over him.”

“I do not pine.”

“You wrote him a poem, Rhysand.”

He feigned insult. “What of it? He liked it.”

“I know. It’s utterly romantic.”

Rhys sighed, leaning into me.

“Can we just go? Right now?”

“Did you finish whatever it was you three were discussing?”

He groaned. “No.”

“Then no, we can’t. Lucien would feel horrible about it. Besides, I promised Elain I’d help her with the garden at the townhouse.”

“You? Gardening?”

It was my turn to be insulted.

“I can garden!”

“My love, you let the flowers wilt. Lucien sent us beautiful flowers and they died under your care.”

“I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to water them every day.”

“He put it in a note.”

“That I found after they died… at least you revived them. If you told him, Rhys, I swear I won’t kiss you for a week.”

“A week?”

Cassian and Az walked into the room just as Rhys had begun to pepper kisses across my neck. They were going to leave but I stopped them.

“I was just going.”

Rhys was whining as I left his side. I ignored him, going to greet my two favorite Illyrians before leaving.

“He’ll be useless now,” Az teased, giving me a hug.

“With enough talk about the camps, he’ll simmer down,” Cas added before he pressed a kiss to my cheek.

“You both can fuck off,” Rhys said, slouching in his chair.

“Little Rhysie misses his foxy boy,” Cas said in a terribly teasing tone, and I saw Rhys cross his arms. That was my cue to leave.

I had just closed the door when I heard Cassian groan, cursing Rhys and his ‘stupid high lord powers’.

*

It was surprising to see Elain in a dress as thin and revealing as the one she wore now. It was blush pink, the sleeves shorter than anything she’d ever worn before. The fabric was long enough to hide the fact that she was bare foot, but it was so thin that her curves were visible. And the neckline… Mor would steal it from her.

“It’s so hot today,” she said as I approached, wiping a hand across her brow. I sat beside her and noticed how she tried to pull the dress up a bit more.

I was dressed in the usual Night Court fashion, except my top had no sleeves. She eyed my outfit with a bit of… regret?

“Mor loaned me this. All of my gowns are too… They’re meant for colder weather.”

I giggled, that explained it. “It looks lovely on you.”

She blushed. “It’s so comfortable. But this neckline…”

“Is just fine.”

She gave me a grateful smile and in a very conspiratorial voice she said, “I might keep it.”

“You should.”

We shared a laugh, Elain pulling me towards her. Beneath the shade of the tree she and I lay back onto the grass.

“You aren’t offended that I didn’t really mean for you to help with the garden?”

“Not at all. I’d just ruin all the work you and Az have done.”

She let out a sigh.

“May I ask you something personal?”

“Sure.”

“After… Tamlin, how did you know you were ready to move on?”

She said his name carefully, as if it were a curse she was afraid to speak. But it didn’t make me feel anything. No knife to the heart. Only a curiosity as to why my sister was asking.

“I felt guilty at first. As if by flirting with Rhys I was betraying what we’d had. Except that it was Tamlin who betrayed that. And Rhys… he was always too good to me. Even when I was horrible. I hurt him so many times in the beginning… But he never let that stop him from being my friend.”

Elain considered my words for a time.

“When did you know that you cared for him?”

“I think Under the Mountain. I didn’t want to believe it. But I cared for this stranger who told me secrets and helped me when no one else did.”

“I mean, when you realized it was more?”

I sat up then, bringing my knees to my chest. Elain followed suit, and began to twirl blades of grass between her fingers.

“Starfall. The first time we spent it together. I knew I had been attracted to him. I knew that I wanted him… you know.”

Elain blushed but nodded.

“I had my doubts… But Rhys loved me, even as broken as I was… Still am. How could I not fall in love with him? Even if he had not been my mate, Rhys is just-” I found myself blushing.

Thinking about me, darling?

Fuck off.

His laughter made me smile.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“You and Nesta, you are my sisters. I’ve come to love Cassian and the twins, even Amren. Even Rhys. But it’s… different with Azriel. He’s the first real friend I’ve ever had. He sees me, Feyre.”

“I know,” I said softly.

“Grayson…” She paused. “I was no better than a porcelain doll. Like the ones mother kept in her tea room. I was everything a lady should be. But that person died inside the cauldron. I was someone else when I came out of it. And when Grayson finally saw me without the pretty lady’s mask… He hated me.”

“That’s how it was with Tamlin.”

There was a look of relief on her face. Because I understood.

“Azriel understands me. Even the parts of me I still don’t really understand. But our shadows know each other. And it makes sense.”

I raised a brow at that.

“He could probably explain it better… But you know how he can just step out of a shadow?”

I nodded.

“Well. It’s happened. Accidently. Except once, that was on purpose but it was only because he was being so stubborn-”

She stopped, as if remembering herself. I tried not to laugh.

“He and I have many wounds that need to heal… But sometimes… I catch myself staring too long. Or when he walks me to my room, our hugs are a little too long. And on Starfall… Being so close to him the whole night was better than anything.”

I reached out to hold her hand.

“Nothing could make me happier.”

She lowered her voice. “You don’t think it’s wrong?”

“No. You deserve happiness. If it’s Azriel that is helping you find it, I know you both are in good hands.”

She smiled. But then Elain looked up and I turned to find Nuala at the door. She held a stack of envelopes in her hands.

“My Lady, forgive me for interrupting.”

“It’s alright,” I said, giving Elain’s hand a squeeze before I stood up.

Nuala let me take them from her and I felt everything spin.

“Feyre, what’s wrong?” Elain asked. She had come to stand beside me.

“Nesta.”

I sat at my desk, staring at the stack of envelopes in front of me. And at their side, Nesta’s bills, rather- the debt she’d accumulated in my name. I let out a long sigh, reaching for the iced tea that had long since become lukewarm. I drank some of it with a grimace, setting the cup aside. I brought my fingers to my temples and groaned. Why was this happening?

Every letter Elain had sent Nesta had been unopened and returned. Letters written before Solstice. How could Nesta do this to Elain? Our sister was more herself than ever before, without the mating bond, without Graysen’s shadow lingering over her every thought- Elain was happy.

And then her bills. The rent on that poor excuse of a home never changed. But what concerned me the most was the final bill for the food delivered to her home every week. Dated from a month ago. I had almost asked what the hell she was eating but then I saw my name on several tabs from restaurants and bars all over Velaris. Some I had never even been to. But now I knew why there had been such discretion in bringing these to me. I would send each of these patrons a gift in thanks, and in apology, in addition to what they were owed.

Elain was leaning against the wall, drying her eyes with one of Rhysand’s handkerchiefs.

“What did I do?” Elain asked.

“You didn’t do anything, Elain. Nesta is… I don’t really know what is wrong with her. She won’t let us in. And this,” I said, motioning to the letters, “This is just cruel.”

“Do you think I’ve offended her?”

“Offended who?”

I tensed as Cassian walked into my room. Elain looked at him and without a word, he quickly went to her side and held her in his arms. He looked at me, wanting answers. I raised a hand, asking for a moment.

My love, do you know where Az is?

Why? Feeling lonely? I could hear the smile in his voice.

I sighed. Elain is very upset and I need to talk to Cassian. Alone.

Soon enough, I turned in my chair to find the Shadowsinger casually waltzing into the room and Elain did her best to perk up, making Cassian feign insult.

“I was wondering where everyone was,” Azriel said. Cassian and I noticed the way his eyes widened slightly at the sight of Elain in that dress.  

“How nice of you to join us,” Cas replied.

Azriel’s hand brushed my shoulder as he went to greet Cassian and Elain.

“Actually, I’m only here for Elain.”

She blushed. Cassian looked even more offended, especially when Elain handed him the handkerchief. He tossed it on my desk and I tried not to laugh.

“The builders at the new house are working on the greenhouse for Lucien’s Day Court flowers and wanted her input on some of the details.”

She cleared her throat. “Of course.”

After giving Cassian a hug, she came to me and kissed my cheek.

“I know you’re behind this,” she whispered, “But thank you.”

Az gave me a wink before he followed Elain out.

“So what’s going on?”

Cassian crossed his arms.

“Where do I start?”

He eyed my severely cluttered desk. “Start with the envelopes. What’s all this mess?”

“Nesta had every letter Elain’s written to her returned. Unopened. Since before Solstice.”

He said nothing but I saw the look in his eyes. I noticed how his jaw clenched.

“Elain had hoped they were replies… But once she realized what it was… Well, she’d only just calmed down when you showed up.”

I reached for the bills.

“She’s canceled the food deliveries. Putting shit on our tab, in my name. And I can afford it. I don’t mind paying for anything she needs or wants but fuck, Cassian. Why does it have to be like this? We have all tried to give her work. Give her our time and attention… Every time we try to figure a way to be there for her, she shuts us out.”

Maybe venting to Cassian was unwise, considering what he felt for her. What they’d been through together. But maybe he needed to know this. He got to her in ways none of us ever could.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s fine, Feyre.”

He held out a hand and I handed the bills over to him. I watched as he looked through them, but there was no surprise there. If anything, those pages seemed to confirm something he had suspected or already known. He rolled his eyes at one point but continued. I knew he followed her home most nights, making sure she was alright. Cassian asked for a pen and I handed it over. He set them down on the desk and leaned over, placing a small mark near some things. He set the pen aside and looked over what he’d done.

“I’m going up to the camps.”

“Is everything okay?”

He sighed. “Just those fucking rumors. Hoping to squash them before it becomes something bigger.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No. We have it under control.”

I raised a brow.

“If it becomes something worth worrying over, I will tell you myself.”

“Okay.” I got to my feet and went to hug him, longer than usual. “I love you, Cas.”

He kissed the top of my head.

“If I’m late, save me dessert.”

I rolled my eyes as he kissed my nose. When he was out the door, I went to put the bills away. Curiosity got the best of me, so I looked at what Cassian had marked. It took me a moment to understand what he had seen so quickly, but when I did, my heart sank.

Every night that he had been with us, that he had not followed her home, Nesta had gone to the shittiest tavern in Velaris and put nothing but liquor on the tab.

*

I found Cassian on the roof, and with a curse, I pulled myself over. He eyed me as I made my way to sit beside him. His wing came to wrap around me, making me sit that much closer.

“You’re an asshole,” I said.

“You’re out of shape.”

I glared at him and he laughed.

“I saved you dessert.”

He shrugged. “I just needed air.”

I took his hand in mine and began to trace over the scars and callouses. He had been quiet- well, quiet for him, during dinner. He hadn’t even teased Azriel for how he tried not looking at Elain when she leaned over to talk to him. He had excused himself before dessert had even been served. And I had specifically asked for those cherry tarts he loved so much and he hadn’t even waited.

“I have a question,” I said, turning his hand palm up.

“Are you a witch now?”

“Shut up.” I smiled, tracing over the lines and noticed more scars, as if he’d held a blade with his bare hands. And knowing him, he probably had.

“Alright. Ask away.”

“She’s my sister… But you’re my friend. My family, too.”

“That’s not exactly a question. I believe it requires a little bit of doubt.”

I rolled my eyes, making him smirk.

“I need you to know that you tried more than any of us. More than I did.”

He tensed. But his voice was soft.

“You owe her nothing, Feyre. She already knows how I feel about the way she’s treated you.”

“And what about how she treats you, Cas?”

“I can handle it.” His voice was a little stronger now, as if nothing else would sway him.

“You shouldn’t have to handle it. I love her, I want to help her. But dammit, Cas. Nothing about the way she treats you is right.”

“I don’t deserve more than that.”

There were a million things I wanted to say. I wanted to shake him. I wanted to scream at him that he did deserve more. That I loved him, that Rhys and Az and Mor loved him. Even Amren, though she’d deny it. Cassian was one of the most selfless people I’d ever known. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to see what we saw when we looked at him. But I knew that words could only do so much, especially if my sister had used her words like a knife.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You did.”

I quickly passed two fingers over the membrane of his wing and he flinched. I couldn’t even describe the sound that he made, but it made me laugh.  

“You can’t do shit like that! Rhys will kill me!”

“Don’t be a smart ass then.”

“Ask,” he said, avoiding my eyes. I wouldn’t tell him that I saw him blush.

“Is it true that you’d have married me if Rhys hadn’t?”

“Now where did you hear such a thing?” I heard the playful tone in his voice.

“Oddly enough, from Rhys.”

Cassian chuckled. “I may or may not have said that, after several drinks.”

“I may or may not have considered the idea, after several drinks.”

He looked at me then, surprised. Confused.

“Remember what you said to me? You and I have the same soul.”

“I know.”

I smirked. “So would you tell me that I didn’t deserve better? Even if better did not mean your brother?”

He smiled because I’d gotten him.

“You’re a piece of work.”

“I’m living with a bunch of assholes. It rubs off on you.”

Cassian started tickling me until I was laughing so hard I was almost crying.

“What the hell are you two doing up there?”

Cas and I looked down to see Mor standing with her hands on her hips.

“Feyre was trying to get in my pants!”

“Feyre what?”

Now Rhys was outside and I laughed so hard I nearly slipped from the roof. Cassian gripped me by the waist, keeping me steady.

“I said Feyre was going to help me pick out a pair of pants.”

Rhys rolled his eyes and went to sit with Mor on the bench, the two of them chatting as if Cas and I weren’t on the roof, watching them.

“Bastard,” Cassian muttered.

“Want to go get dessert?”

He nodded, but before I could move, he held me there against him.

“Feyre… I would never tell you that. I would beat Rhys’ ass if he ever talked down to you.”

“I know.”

“But… I didn’t try hard enough for her. I should have. And I didn’t.”

His hazel eyes searched mine and I reached out to touch his face.

“We’ll figure it out. Together.”

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Holy shit I did not realize that this was as long as it was until now. I am sorry. Sort of. 

@readingismycopingmechanism @fuzdog @gently-say-aha @highladyofherondale @alxanxah @nuggets-and-mouthwash @city-of-fae @myfeyrelady @rhysandshighlady @feysanddotacotar

If you’d like to be tagged, let me know!

[flowerflamestars]

Fix-it fic snippet

Not a single Vanserra had ever actually managed to make it to a battlefield. Eris would be easy- no matter how he liked to look dangerous, half those High Fae tricks wouldn’t work on Cassian. He’d never even seen the pompous fucker armed. Lucien was the real opponent. Broader, stronger, quick enough to get a knife in Cassian’s back in the scarce seconds it would take to throw Eris down the stairs by that swan neck throat.   Cassian could survive a stabbing to break some Autumn bones- but Feyre wouldn’t like it.   “What the hell is she doing?”   In a bored tone, unnatural eyes still locked on Feyre’s careful mural like it was personal offense, Eris drawled, “Your High Lord asked for a blessing.”   Of course Rhys had. For Feyre, grasping with both hands for love of her own sisters who’d abandoned her. Left her behind when she needed them most, only to breeze back with these faithless men playing guard dogs.   None of the Archerons deserved the High Lady of Night.   “A blessing,” Cassian growled, “Not some kind of fucking curse, I can smell the blood.”   Lucien laughed. Full-throated and sunny, he sounded almost kind as he sat up to pin Cassian with his mismatched golden gaze. “Not a curse. Think of it…like a ward. A warning passed from the Head of a House to its youngest descendant.”   “She’s singing about death.”   Like she’d lost her mind along with any shred of honor. Nesta thought Cassian didn’t know what love was? At least he knew better than to think it was shed in blood.   Eris finally turned his handsome face to join the conversation, delicate little huff of amusement loud, loud, loud, in this echoing space. “Death is her dominion. As is the future of the Archeron-Vanserra line.”   “That child is not yours,” Cassian snarled. “Not a Vanserra, not part of your games." “And what game,” Eris asked, head tilted, “Would I be playing, with my newborn nephew?”   The lump in Cassian throat, undulled by biting, cloying red rage, grew leaden. His nephew. Cas would teach that child to fly, would have been there for every milestone of his life with Nesta by his side, if it weren’t for this wretched prick.   It should have been them, hand in hand.   Not Nesta, drowning in death, anointing a child all of three days old for the Crone.

[valkyrie-shadow]

FBAA meets ACOSF pt2

Pt1 here

PoppyCas meets Feysand + more Valkyrie ones

⚠️ ACOGB and ACOSF Spoilers⚠️

We’re gonna assume they’re in Prythian for a few months or smth

Don’t ask me how they got there because I also Don’t Know lmao

- casteel and rhysand are kinda bros but at the same time super protective of their wives and Lowkey abt to kill each other cuz stranger danger

- their stories have a lot in common so there’s some mutual understanding

- feyre and poppy bond over threatening their husbands to back the fuck off and play nice

- cas and Rhys bond over being frustrated but lowkey turned on by said threats

- poppy is obsessed w nyx and his little wings for like a day

- poppy likes feyre but prefers the Valkyries mostly because reading is more her thing opposed to painting (she does compliment feyres paintings in the river house)

- she also just loves the vibes of an all-girl friend group because she’s never experienced it before

- her and feyre mess around w empath and daemati powers because they can

- feyre is surprised that poppy has such strong mental walls for someone who isn’t daemati

- poppy let’s feyre in her head so she can see what others emotions taste and feel like

- feyre is showing her some of her other powers and starts glowing accidentally

-“woah you glow sometimes too??”

- poppy tries to get herself to glow by using her power and call to the wolven

- Kieran appears out of thin air in his wolf form and freaks them out, getting a dagger chucked at him

- “Poppy?? You aren’t dead??? Am I dead?? Where’s Casteel??” “Oh look who’s asking all the questions now” “what the fuck is going on???”

- feyre is Concerned, poppy is Curious, Kieran is glad they’re not dead

- Kieran tackles Casteel when he sees him in the hallway

- “If you disappear on me again I swear to the gods I’ll let Poppy stab you next time” “Like you’ve tried to stop her in the past”

- The Valkyries are all kinda wary of Casteel until they see how soft he is for poppy and they collectively decide he passes the vibe check

- they love Kieran

- poppy recounts some of her adventures to the Valkyries during a sleepover in the House of Wind library

- “-And then I stabbed him in the heart and ran away” “haha yeah I bet you wish you did” “no like I actually stabbed him” “wait what-”

- Cassian hopes and prays Poppy’s violent tendencies don’t rub off on Nesta

- when poppy shows up and bonds with the Valkyries Cassian is just “yep she’s my little sister now I’m adopting her”

- poppy ships gwynriel

- poppy figured out gwyn had a crush on azriel when she almost choked on gwyns emotions when he smiled during training

Some of you asked for a part 2 so here ya go :D

There were a lot of them so I cut it down for a part 3 if anyone wants that,, it’s mostly House of Wind squad + FBAA squad

Let me know if you guys want interactions between FBAA squad and some of the other ACOTAR characters and which ones <3

[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

[abraxos-is-toothless]

Surprises (10)

SMUT WARNING! Although mild, for now😏 you’ll have to tell me if it was good. Also the end section was short for reasons:)

@bryaxisthefaceofnightmares I did not ask you to beta this one because the smut was a surprise;)

Warnings: There will be swearing, mature themes, mentions of alcohol at times, and mentions of sex. I will update warnings as I go if needed.

Full Masterlist.

Surprises Masterlist.

—————

She knows.

She totally fucking knows.

But how the hell does she know?

It was the morning after his movie night with Elain, and Azriel had brought her home with him so they could have breakfast with the others before the girls went off shopping together. Nesta was staring him out from across the table as if she could see every thought running through his head. He hoped to god that she couldn’t because now he couldn’t stop thinking about the night before.

The movie had only been playing for around ten minutes before his resolve cracked. He tried, he really, really tried, but ever since Elain had walked out of that bathroom in a pale pink tank top and small black shorts he was done for. She was lying tucked into his side on the bed fully focused on whatever movie she had picked when, without realising, his fingers began drawing patterns on the skin of her thigh. Azriel cursed himself when she tensed, now noticing what he’d done.

Why the hell did he have to ruin everything?

“What are you doing, Az?”

“I- I- shit I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” He fumbled, pulling his hand away. But before he could get too far, a small pale hand wrapped around his wrist.

“It’s okay you know? You’re allowed to touch me. I just wasn’t expecting you to want to touch me.”

“Of course I want to touch you, in fact I always want to touch you, but I should have asked first.”

Elain began to play with his fingers at that, chewing on her lower lip like something was bothering her. He tried to push back the thoughts of biting that lip himself so he could focus on the matter at hand.

“What’s wrong El?”

“It’s just that this whole being pregnant thing includes hormones. And sometimes I don’t know if I want you because it’s me or it’s just my hormones telling me that I need some sort of itch scratched or something.”

Jesus Christ, she was going to kill him.

“Will you let me touch you, Elain?”

She let out a shaky and uneven breathe before whispering;

“Yes.”

He brought his hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear, following the path down, dragging his fingertips across her neck and had to hold back a smirk at the way she shivered.

“Promise me something first.”

A nod.

“Promise me that you’ll stop me if there’s something you don’t want to do. I’m not going to get upset or mad at you, you’re allowed to say no. I don’t want to feel like I’m taking from you, not again.”

“But you di-“

“Promise me.”

“I promise, Az.”

She closed her eyes as he dropped his hand once more, this time to her hip, and dragged her to face him fully. Elain squeaked at the feeling of their chest, hips and thighs being pressed together. Azriel brought his lips to her just a brush at first but then she let out a frustrated whimper and his control snapped. He moved her leg over his hip and caught her moan with his lips as he ground into her harder. Her hands wove into his hair and pulled causing him to groan and roll her onto her back. His hand moved away from her hip to run along the waist band of her shorts, teasing.

“Can I?”

Elain looked down to where the tips of his fingers were just underneath the band and flushed a bright red so he tipped her chin back up so they were face to face once more.

“You can say no and we can stop right now. Just being able to hold you, to kiss you, is enough.”

“No, I want to. But I’ve never...”

The next kiss he gave her was gentle and slow, a slight distraction as he pushed his hand under both her shorts and panties. She gasped when he used his thumb to draw circles over her bundle of nerves and slipped one finger inside her.

“Good?”

She bit his lip and moaned again before breathing out a;

“Ye- Yes.”

Azriel smirked and thrusted slowly a few times before carefully adding another. The slow thrusts continued until she pulled his hair hard with one hand and dragged her other down his back, nails digging into his skin, and he picked up the pace. One of her legs wrapped around his waist trying to pull him closer but he kept himself propped on his forearm, just hear her whimper, the sound going straight to the part of him he was steadily ignoring. Soon enough her back was arching and she looked at him with what looked to de part desperation and part confusion.

“Az. Az I need- I need-“

He pressed his thumb harder and used his fingers to make a come hither motion, speaking against her lips as she cried out.

“Ellie. Let go, baby. I’ve got you.”

Once she fell limp against the bed he withdrew his hand as gently as he could, bringing it to his mouth, grinning internally as her eyes widened. He jolted when her small hand came up to fiddle with the button on his jeans. The disappointed look on her face made him wish he’d let her continue, but this wasn’t about him. This was all for her.

“But what about you?”

“I’m alright, I promise. Was that okay?”

“Amazing.”

He smiled and kissed her nose then her forehead, tucking her in gently, before going to the bathroom to sort himself out. By the time he came back and climbed in behind her, she was already asleep, the sound of her even breaths pulling him under too.

The banging of a mug against the table top brought him back to the present, shifting in his seat against the discomfort of his now incredibly tight jeans. Nesta was still glaring at him as she got up from the table to give Cassian a kiss goodbye, telling Feyre and Elain she was going to start the car. He barely had chance to appreciate the kiss his girlfriend gave him before she was rushing over to link her arm through her sisters, leaving him in a dazed state as they yelled a quick “later” over their shoulders.

Cassian’s loud and obnoxious laughter had him turning abruptly back to his brothers.

“God, bro. You’re so fucking whipped.”

He scoffed, as if they both weren’t exactly the same dopey idiots around their girls.

Elain Archeron had him wrapped around her little finger and he was so fucking grateful that she did.

oOoOo

The three of them had been shopping for over an hour now and Elain was exhausted. She was little dizzy and her back ached and gods she just wanted to sit for five minutes but her sister had other ideas.

“Just one last store El, and then we can go and get those milkshakes you like.”

The sound of said milkshakes did not sound appealing in that moment but she managed to give Feyre a small smile, albeit a bit grim, but she had already started walking again. Following as fast as her tired body would allow, she realised it was a clothes store and Feyre was steadily piling her arms with things to try on.

“Is it really necessary for me to try on all of these things? I have enough clothes, I don’t need more.”

She was given what she was call a sadistic grin in return and was promptly dragged to the fitting rooms to try everything on. Nesta was already there trying on what looked to be about a dozen jeans. There was no time for her to even ask her elder sister what she had picked because her younger one had pushed her into one of the cubicles.

Once inside Elain gently placed her clothes on the hook and bent to remove her shoes, deciding to try on any jeans and trousers first but as she came back up, she was hit with another wave of dizziness and swayed. She groaned loudly at the pain in her head as her vision became blurry. There was a lot of talking from outside, banging on the door and few shouts of her name maybe?

“Elain.”

“Elain are you alright?”

“Elain!”

She had no time to think or call back to whoever is was before she was falling and everything went dark.

—————

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[courtofshipsandillyrianobsession]

November without you chapter 4

Azriel couldn’t believe it… He had a mate? And not only that it was the most beautiful female he had ever laid his eyes on… she was sweet and kind and simply adorable… But how could he missed this? He needed answers and he needed them fast. So he went to the roof hoping to clear his mind.

When he arrived, he was clearly surprised when he saw Cassian in there as well.

“Hey brother, what are you doing here?” Azriel stated.

“I should be asking you exact the same thing Az. What’s up with your face? You look like crap” Cassian responded.

“Thanks for your support bro…”

“What the hell are you doing here little brothers?” Rhysand exclaimed as he appeared next to Azriel

“Az was just about to tell us the juicy secret he discovered tonight… What is it bro? Perhaps lady troubles?” Cassian said with a confident smile on his face.

“Shut up you prick. But if you must know I will tell you… I think Elain… you know…”

“Oh is it about my mate’s sister? What happened? Did she heard about the wingspan theory and she asked you if it was true?” Rhys said barely keeping a serious face. 

“You assholes could you be serious for one second? I am about to tell you that I think I have found my mate and it’s Elain and you won’t stop making stupid jokes about wingspans” Az said with a threatening tone.

“But she already has a mate. So, it can’t be possible right?” Cassian asked.

“Once… a long time ago, my mother told me it was possible. She told me that old legends stated that the cauldron didn’t care about status, logic or order in any way. She even told me about these high lords that had the same mate. When the female choose one of them, a war almost started between the courts but the abandoned high lord realized that the female would never be completely happy with him, even thought there was a mate bond, because she didn’t choose him on her free will. So, as a matter of fact, it is possible but the cauldron acts on mysterious forces that nobody understands brothers. The real question is: how can you be sure Elain is your mate?”

Azriel told them about the book he have just read and how it all fit perfectly with how he felt about Elain.

“I don’t know brother… I don’t think a book should tell you about who is your mate. To begin with: How does my cousin fit in all this? How do you really feel about Elain?” the night high lord asked

“I don’t know Rhys. I mean how were you sure Feyre was your mate?” the shadowsinger said.

“When Under The Mountain, she was killed indeed and in that moment I was completely sure because it felt like literally my whole existence was just taken away from me. It was as if my wings were teared up in pieces a hundred times. So, that’s why after that just knowing she was alive was a relief for me, even thought, she almost married an ass.”

“So… you are suggesting we put Elain under a completely dangerous situation and if Azriel feels mated we called it a day?” Cassian asked.

“You stupid, you are missing my point. I mean we need a strong emotion between them so we can be completely sure. Perhaps a situation where her life is on the line, a hug, a kiss or even something else. As for Mor, I think you should talk with her and you better get your feelings clear because Elain could find happiness with Lucien and if you are not going completely with Elain, you better not put another weight on her shoulders. I am not telling you this as your high lord, but as your brother”  The high lord stated. 

“I know, I feel like crap but please just let me be for this night. I need to sleep there were so many things for one day.”

“One would think that after Hybern’s battle nothing could shake the powerful high lord’s spymaster. Funny how it is a girl that yesterday asked me for help to open a pickle jar.” Cassian commented with a smile as he remembered how Elain was having a hard time with that pickle jar.

“May I remind you it was the same girl that killed Hybern and saved your illyrian ass on the same day?” Azriel said with a playful tone. 

“Fair enough” the illyrian commander said.

“Thanks brothers, I really appreciate it, but I think that it was a lot to process in one night. I think I need some rest” Azriel stated as he standed up.

“Me too, Feyre’s being in a strange mood lately” Rhys responded.

“Aren’t you coming Cass?” Azriel asked as he approached his room.

“No, I think I just stay here for a little while more” the illyrian commander stated as his brothers left him. Cass was thinking about a certain female that left him enchanted since the moment he laid his eyes on her. She was fierce and unstoppable but she was stubborn as a goat, and what was worst: she despised him. As he was thinking about these, he heard a pair of steps approaching him. When he turned around, what he expected the least was seeing Elain with a sunflower pot, ignoring him.

“Hey, what are you doing here miss Archeron?”. She stumbled while she looked at him with with her brown eyes wide open. 

“What? Oh I didn’t notice you were here mister commander. Sorry I will be going” She said while Cas could imagine how badly Elain was blushing.

“No, no excuse me my lady. It’s your house too. I mean is there something causing you trouble that I could help you with?. It’s my duty to take care of you. And please, no mr. commander, Cas is fine”

“NO, it’s nothing mister… I mean Cas” the seer mumbled the last word. 

“Look, mistress. We can do this: I will tell you something nobody knows about me and in exchange you tell me what is really going on. Really, I have been dealing lately with a lot myself and believe me, at some point you will explode. Going around carrying heavy burdens it’s not nice at all. Here it goes, when no one is watching, I go out to the a little restaurant where there serve a pizza and I always ask for one and I put chocolate syrup on top and I eat it by myself and I tell no one because Az and Rhys think is gross”

Cas felt relieved as he heard Elain’s laughter bursting in the middle of the night. He knew he it was a funny story but he understand it all when she whispered.

“I love putting ice cream on fries, but once Nesta catched me doing it and told me it was gross, since that day on, once a week I woke up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen and prepare some vanilla ice cream with fries. Siblings are the worst” 

Cas couldn’t hold it and started to laugh too. After that they started joking for a while, but Cas was still worried. 

“Really mistress, can you tell me what is going on? I promise you I will tell no one, not even Rhys or Az… ” the illyrian stated as he emphasized the last part. 

Elain hesitated for a long time. Cas stood there in silence. He was just about to tell her that it was fine if he didn’t wanted to tell him, but then she started talking. 

“Days ago, Lucien brought me this sunflower, at first I thought it was no big deal. But this past few days I felt as if the sunflower was drawing me to it. I mean, I know it sounds crazy but last night I tried to use my seer powers on it and I think I invoked a sunray. I am no completely sure, I mean it could just be a vision but I came here to try to invoke sunrays again.”

Cassian was expecting a lot of things, except that one. He stood there with his eyes and mouth wide open. He tried to maintain serious once again when he stated:

“Look Elain there’s not much I can help you with, Magic is Az’s business. But I can be your friend, someone you can trust and if you let me I could hear you every time you need it. Also, Az told me about Lucien’s incident. If you want I could teach you a few basics to defend yourself. Even if you want to know about magic or anything else, I can show you the library”

“Thanks, I would really appreciate all the help I could get and please tell no one about this” the seer said. She was really surprised how fast this illyrian have managed to earn her trust but then she remembered how much he cared for her sisters and she assumed that in this moment, she could trust him more than in Nesta.

“Okay then see you tomorrow miss, have a nice sleep”the commander responded.

“Yes goodnight Cass. By the way; it’s Elain not miss Archeron”

“Well then goodnight, El”

masterlist: https://courtofshipsandillyrianobsession.tumblr.com/post/184016524579/masterlist-november-without-you-elriel-elucien

[hellas-himself]

Where There Are Shadows pt 32

so. two things. 

I am absolute Elriel trash. But I am also here for Elucien, but since this is Feyrhycien, we’re going with Elriel. 

I’m on and off with Nessian. I eat it up when I read fics on here, but when I read the books I remember how she treats everyone and it irks my soul. But I love her in my own way. 

So with that being said, happy hump day. 

.

.

.

-Feyre-

 Elain was a giggling mess as I buttoned up the back of her dress. It was perhaps as Night Court as I would ever see my sister. It was similar to the dress I’d worn the night Rhys and I had invited Lucien to dinner at the House all those months ago, except hers was not backless and wherever there was skin exposed, she’d had it altered to at least a sheer panel of fabric which somehow made it that more alluring.

“You might just give Azriel a heart attack,” I said when I finished and we stared at her reflection in the mirror.

“If he didn’t pass out yesterday, I think he’ll be fine,” she said as she began to fret over her hair. “You’d think they’d announce themselves when they arrive.”

I snorted. Elain and I had been up on the patio sunbathing yesterday morning and when I realized all three males had finally come back from the Steppes, we’d run inside in our towels. Rhys could not have been happier, but Az…

“I can’t believe you walked right up to him and said hello before disappearing into your room.”

“It’s not like he was going to!”

I helped her pin some of her hair back.

“Elain Archeron, where is your modesty!”

She laughed.

“I must have lost it outside in the garden.”

“Maybe Az found it and has it in his pocket.”

“I’ll have to ask him for it, then.”

Gods, this ease in which Elain and I could talk to one another… We had never had this. I hated that Nesta was missing out on it. On seeing Elain break free of her shell and doing things solely because they made her happy, not because they were expected of her. And my goal was to give Elain a night she would never forget.  

All eyes were on Elain when we made it downstairs, Cassian whistling as she walked by. Amren was quick to come admire the gold bracelet inlaid with pink stones while Rhys showered us both with compliments. Varian raised his glass at her from where he sat.

When we sat down, Cassian was kind enough to bring us some wine.

“Shame Az isn’t here for dinner,” Cas said with a sigh, making Rhys roll his eyes.

“Feyre and I are going out today,” Elain declared. I noticed that she searched the room but did not find who she was looking for. If she was disappointed she didn’t say anything.

“You’re all dressed up like that and you’re not even having dinner with us?” Cassian asked, genuinely surprised. Elain blushed.

“No,” I said. Cassian looked disappointed.

“But you and Rhys could walk us to where we’re going,” Elain kindly offered to which Cassian happily accepted. 

.

“Have you ever been here before?” Rhys asked, looking at Elain as she shook her head.

Cas had his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him.

“I’ve never been here before either,” he whispered.

“Mor suggested it,” I replied and he sighed.

“That explains it.”

I poked his side as we approached the two fae standing before a set of double doors. Arm in arm, Rhys led Elain inside, Cas and I following. The owner of the venue greeted us personally before guiding us upstairs to the private area I had requested.

“Feyre!” Elain exclaimed, letting go of Rhys to pull me away from Cas. She led me to a painting that hung on the wall.

“So that’s where Mor put it,” I muttered, feeling my face get warm. It was a painting of Velaris from my point of view up at the House of Wind.  

“It is an honor to have your work here, my Lady,” the owner said.

“Thank you,” was all I could manage to say. Elain laughed at me for it.

Rhysand went to speak with the owner and soon, we were left to our own devices. We walked its gilded halls hand in hand, admiring the paintings and the chandeliers that hung from the ceiling. We’d had this once, even if I did not remember much of it. But what little good I’d had as a child, Elain was there.

“What are you smiling about?” she asked as I held out my hand to continue on.

“I like seeing you happy.”

The sound of music grew louder the closer we got to the doors at the end of the hall.

“It sounds like a ball,” Elain mused, her eyes sparkling with delight.

Cassian and Rhys did us the honors of opening the doors for us.

And it was better than I had imagined.

Standing beneath a canopy of flowers and fae light was Azriel, who looked as if he had just finished decorating the room. My sister gasped, eyes wide. There were two long tables covered in trays of food, and a table solely for drinks. The quartet played from the dais on the far end of the room which was as large as a ball room. It was just as grand as the rest of the building, boasting a large chandelier and floor to ceiling windows that gave us a beautiful view of Velaris.

“Feyre… What did you do?”

“I may have let slip that tonight was very important.”

Her eyes widened.

“Just go to him,” I whispered, giving her a gentle nudge. As she made her way over, a smile blossomed on Azriel’s face that was so devastatingly beautiful I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to capture it perfectly.

“What is all this?” she asked Azriel, bringing her hands to his chest as she admired the detail on his waist coat. He took her hands in his and kissed them.  

“Happy birthday,” he said softly.

Her laughter was melodious.  

“Azriel… It’s beautiful.”

Whatever he said to her was lost on me as everyone walked in, complimenting the room and how both Elain and Azriel were dressed.

“Am I the only one who didn’t know about this?”

Cassian wrapped an arm around me.

“Elain didn’t know.”

“I resent that.”

I leaned into him.

“You’ll forgive me.”

“Really?”

I nodded, watching Elain admire the flowers with Az. Mor looked in awe of the room and was chatting away with Amren while Varian approached them with drinks. Guests from all over arrived, those who had come to know Elain and wanted to share this night with us.

“I’ll be right back,” I said to Cas. “Rhys is looking a little lonely.”

Cassian laughed as I walked off to where Rhysand was standing, taking everything in.

“You pulled it off,” he said with a smile.

“With a lot of help.”

“You look exquisite, Feyre.”

I blushed. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

His laughter warmed my heart. The way he looked at me never ceased to give me butterflies, to make me feel altogether vulnerable and safe. 

Elain danced with nearly everyone, even Rhysand. Those two did nothing but laugh the entire time, especially when they saw me watching. When Azriel swept her off her feet, quite literally, we all tried to pretend we weren’t watching them dance. But I had the feeling they saw no one else but each other.

As the party began to wind down, we found Cassian handing Elain a small glass. She eyed him with a determination that reminded me of Nesta, of me. And she drank the whole thing and held the glass out for more.

And so began their game.

They tried racing one another back to the townhouse, but that ended with Cassian slipping and Elain stopping to laugh at him. Cassian goaded the rest of us into his little game, until we were all drunk. When Elain beat Cas in finishing her drink, we all applauded. Az was watching her with a little smile on his face, not as drunk as the rest of us, but enough to not care that we saw him smiling as he looked at her.

When the time came for presents, she thanked us all individually as we passed them to her. A pair of earrings from Rhys, a set of gardening tools from Cas. Amren and Varian had given her flowers from the Summer Court to be sent to the greenhouse, which left her beaming.

The room went still as Elain opened Azriel’s gift.

“Azriel, this is too much.” She held up the little gold necklace by the blue stone that hung from it. Her eyes met his and then she was smiling as she rose to her feet. “Put it on for me.”

Azriel went to stand behind her, and the way his fingers brushed across her skin reminded me of how Rhys used to be with me, in the beginning. I wasn’t sure why I remembered the first time he’d helped me into fighting leathers but when I looked at Rhys, he was grinning like the insufferable prick that he was. I rolled my eyes, before looking away to find the Elain hugging Az, leaving him blushing.

And then came my gift.

“Just once, Elain. If you hate it, I’ll give you the back up present.”

“A back up present?” she asked, lifting the little top I’d had made for her. It was like every other Night Court outfit Rhys had ever given me, but hers was a deep blue, almost black. Little silver beads hung from the hem of the top. The pants had a silver chain that hung loose on the hips, both pant legs made of the sheer fabric I’d come to cherish in this summer heat. With a giggle, she took Cassian’s drink from his hand and finished it, excusing herself from the room.

When she walked back, I think we all held our breath. These clothes, they were made for a figure like hers. She was blushing as she went to sit between Cassian and Mor again. She’d never shown this much skin before, but I suppose after our little incident yesterday, this was nothing.

And then, Mor passed her a little pink bag, a bag I knew far too well thanks to Rhysand and Lucien. My sister peeked inside and turned red in the face.  

“I think I sent Az the matching set when we got here, but honestly, any of these three might have it on their dresser,” Mor said with a hiccup, pointing to Cassian and Rhys. “Whoever has it, make sure it makes its way to Azriel.”

But Az didn’t even seem bothered, even as we all laughed. If anything, there was a light in his eyes that I had never seen before.

“Az,” Elain said as she held up the scraps of lace long enough that I knew he was able to discern what they were, before she returned them to their bag. “I think I dropped my modesty outside in the garden. Feyre said you may have found it.”

The room went quiet as their eyes met and if this was how Rhys and I made everyone else feel, I almost felt bad.

“You left it on the desk in my office. I’d been waiting for you to come back so that I might return it,” he said so seriously that we all stared at him until he and Elain burst into laughter.

By the end of the night, Az was passed out on the sofa, Elain curled up beside him. Mor was snoring and Rhys was stuck beneath his cousin who had rested her head on his lap.

“I have to do one more thing, then I’ll come save you,” I whispered to him. He smiled, waving me off. He alone had helped me with this last part of the night. But he had felt his brother would not have accepted it from anyone else.

I had expected to find Cassian passed out on the bed, but he was wide awake, eyeing me from where he stood, tying up his hair.

“You finally get the room to yourself,” I said softly. He chuckled.

“He’ll wake up and come push me off.”

I walked in the room and made my way towards him. I knew I looked suspicious, especially with my hands behind my back.

“I doubt it.”

He raised a brow. “What are you up to?”

“Well, I discovered something I felt that the Lord Commander needed to know.”

His sudden seriousness nearly made me laugh.

“I need you to know, Cassian, that you are by far one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had. And I need you to know that I love you.”

I held out the little box to him. He looked too stunned for words.

“I can’t go back in time and grace your life with my presence every year,” I said, which finally made him laugh. “But I’m here now. And no one gets away with hiding their birthday from me. Ever.”

“Feyre…”

“I know it was a few days ago, but I hadn’t found anything that screamed your name at me.”

“It’s usually a female doing that,” he said as he took the box from my hand.

“Now you know why I never visit your house.”

We both laughed. He undid the ribbon and set the lid aside.

“What’s this?”

“I’m not sure if it fits, but we can fix that if it doesn’t.”

He held up the gold band, the obsidian stone glimmering in the fae light. It was simple, but there was something about it that told me he needed to have it.

“No one’s ever given me anything like this.” His voice was nearly a whisper. Was he going to cry?

“Try it on.”

He let me slide the ring on his finger. It fit perfectly.

“Thank you, Feyre. I don’t really know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just want you to know that it matters. That you matter. That every year that we get to have you in our lives, is something worth celebrating.”

I wasn’t expecting to see tears in his eyes. But there they were. I pulled him into a hug which made him laugh.

“I love you, Feyre.”

“I know,” I said with a laugh. “I love you, too.”

“I forgive you, by the way.”

I giggled. “Told you.”

By the time I went downstairs to get Rhys, he was already asleep. He didn’t stir until I’d managed to move Mor to the other side.

His eyes fell on me, red and glassy.

“There you are,” he said. “My salvation.”

Rhys got to his feet and chuckled when he almost lost his footing. Once he was ready to walk, I led him up the stairs, but he missed a step and pulled me down with him. We tried not to laugh, but then when I tried to stand up, Rhys pulled me to his lap. His kiss was greedy, and his wandering hands were going to get us in trouble.

“Rhys,” I whispered. “We can’t have sex on the stairs.”

“Why?” he asked as he kissed my neck.

“Everyone is here.” He stopped, and I felt this sudden panic down the bond.

“Not everyone,” he said quietly, looking at me with such sadness, I would have winnowed us right to the Day Court if I knew we’d make it there in one piece. “Lucien isn’t here.”

I kissed Rhysand with as much fervor as he’d kissed me.

“Lucien wouldn’t fuck you on the stairs in front of everyone. He’d wait till everyone was in their room.”

“He would,” Rhys said with a big smile as I pulled him to his feet.

“When he comes back home, we’ll have plenty of new stairwells you two can make use of. For now, we have the bed. Now walk.”

.

Being hungover was never enjoyable. It was even less so, walking into a small bar in the early hours of morning, wishing that I hadn’t made this arrangement. But I’d already walked out here and I had to get it over with.

Nesta was sitting in the back, as she always did. She looked as bad as I felt. And yet, her eyes still held nothing but resentment when she saw me approach. I knew I probably still had Rhys’ scent all over me, but Lucien’s too, as I was wearing his shirt that I’d found at the bottom of the drawer. And when she sniffed at me when I neared the table, I almost saw red. I would never judge her for the males I knew left her apartment, the one I could scent on her now. It was none of my business, as long as no one hurt her, just like who I slept with was none of her business. Even if her gaze told me exactly what she thought of that.

“I was beginning to think you’d make me walk to your house.”

I sat down, reaching into my pocket to hand her the folded note for the rent. There might have been surprise in her eyes as she took it.

“For this, you could have sent it with the courier.”

“For what? So you could send it back without even bothering to read it?”

I saw the anger in her eyes but I was too tired to let it unsettle me. I was hungry. And I wanted to go back home to be there when Elain woke up to find herself in Azriel’s arms on the sofa beneath the blanket Cassian had so kindly draped over them.

“I don’t see how that was any of your concern.”

“You missed her birthday.”

“I had no reason to be there.”

“You could have gone to the townhouse to see her.” I knew my voice was harsher than I had meant it to be. “You could have written a note. She misses you, Nesta.”

“Your little party was all anyone talked about last night, I’m sure that her evening was perfect without me.”

“You could not be more wrong.”

She glared at me for a time.

“Are we done?”

“No,” I said. “The house is almost finished. We’re inviting everyone over once we’re settled in. I want you to be there.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my sister. What other reason do I need to want you around?”

She rose to her feet. She was wearing someone else’s shirt and a pair of pants that might have been mine once but it was stained with wine and Mother knew what else.

“Forgive me for not wanting to be subject to the judgement of your family.”

“You are my family, Nesta.”

“Yes. The way mother was.”

.

.

.

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Hotter Take: If you think Rhysand and the IC are the good guys, you probably also think Dumbledore is cool and do not and will not acknowledge just how manipulative and shitty they are.

P.S: Azriel, hidden depths or just a slightly more insightful lapdog? Got into an argument when i said he probably doesn't have a personality

Correct and PERFECT TAKE. If you think they're fabulous you are also, 85% more likely to find Severus Snape noble and tragic.

AZRIEL!! Oh god, okay. I have three distinct thoughts on this:

1) He is...laughably without a personality. Like, I'm sorry, but S/JM has not effectively written a group dynamic that feels feasible/realistic/semi-allows everyone to be people since Queen of Shadows. Her books thrive on having a whole band of people together, but there is zero main character/side character balance.

Is part of that because he's The Scary Quiet One? yes, sure. No reason to be chatting up Feyre (who is a child!! god. B A B Y. I reread acomaf and I AM SEETHING but that is neither here nor there)? yeah probably.

which brings me to 2) Everything. Pretty much everything we (myself included, because writing him in Starlight was very fun) like about Az...isn't strictly canon.

It's canon-adjacent. We're filling the gaps because there is almost nothing but a sketched outline. And it works SO WELL- because Azriel, almost more than Rhysie himself, is a big sexy trope trap.

He's the Quiet One with the dry humor! the (we pretend) heart of gold! Longing! Service! Loyalty from the Shadows! He is a LITERAL CINDERELLA STORY. Darkly handsome but BLUSHING. Scarred gentle hands! Daddy issues!

It is right there for the taking.

3) it is right there for the taking and canon takes NONE OF IT.

Like. Azriel is almost better as a menacing background shadow because the second you interrogate...really, any part of his character, nothing makes sense. Nothing.

His story is predicated on pain, right? Horrible suffering until he could talk to darkness. Its almost like he can read minds. his gift is secrets. It is a journey of improbable survival.

But to get secrets out of people. He brutally tortures them??

Which, is made further redundant not just by his gifts...but the fact...that he serves not one, but two mind-readers???

Azriel is transparently traumatized by having been the one to find Morrigan dumped in Autumn, stripped and halfway to death. It fucked him up SO BAD- which makes complete and total sense considering that like...he comes from this brutal suffering, and this culture that not only wanted him dead, but his mother dead, one that we're given to understand (which we are NOT EVEN TOUCHING THE RACISM YET) seeks to harm women, and anyone different.

And then, instead of being someone safe for her, bonded by the fact that Az came for her, Az found her....Azriel spends five hundred years scaring her?

Azriel disobeys orders and sense to save Elain. We, without his POV, scrabble to dots to connect: Az, who will always come. Az, who cannot stand not to try. Who cannot handle the idea of her tortured, harmed-

And then canon give us his POV- and's like. She was mine. I'm going to duel her soul-bonded man and MURDER HIM?? Because i can do it better! I GET TO HURT HER.

What, and I cannot say this enough, the fuck.

Ignore all the potential, all the fanon, all the fun to be had: Azriel is a professional torturer with anger issues whose love interests are exclusively traumatized, vulnerable women.

(He is also. Incidentally. The most Illyrian-looking of the three Illyrian bros, and yes, this is so fucked up)

It's...not anything new. It's not even bad in an interesting way.

The peeks of possible personality get squashed, almost immediately, by the actual narrative! One jokey night drinking with Feyre because he is, you know, a person, does not cancel out that in THOUSANDS of pages he was so vague fans essentially...made up a whole man is shape.

And. I'm sorry, but even internally there's some hmm who is this character??? dissonance.

Mr. Trauma make me Weird About Women, sees emaciated, visibly hella bruised Nesta, and is like immediately: who hit you???

but then. When his 'brother' thinks its like...the funniest thing in the world that Nesta fell a height that left her IMMORTAL FAERY BODY still fucked up the next day...he doesn't care?

He's like hahaha Cas I'm here to make sure you keep it in your pants about the prisoner WINK WINK

but. One of the only clear character beats we HAVE about him is that Az is the renegade who will Free Every Woman in bondage. Morrigan, who probably has the most reason to have an unstinting opinion of Az, tells Feyre he was going to save her from SPRING

yall. I am not going to read the Az book, I'm sorry.