#few things are more beautiful

[agentark]

in the span of maybe an hour, clara oswald goes from, "I already know - don't say it." to, "people like you and me should say things to each other" and I'll never get over it

she literally gets pulled out of time the moment before her death and learns he's been clawing his way back to her for 4.5 BILLION years?? Just to save her??? I would also suddenly and urgently have words

[prolibytherium]

I never touched it but I feel like i only ever hear positive things said about song of achilles.. in (rough strokes at least) what makes it dogshit to you?

Okay it's been a while since I actually read it so some of this might not be spot on accurate. Sorry if at any point I say 'the book never does xyz' and it actually does once or twice but I think my underlying criticisms are accurate

-Patroclus is made into like this soft gentle tender quivering little yaoi boy. In the source text, he's shown as compassionate and moved by the suffering of his own men (and apparently having some medical skill, tending to the wounded in the camp), but very much invested n combat and very, very good at it (pages worth of descriptions of the guys he's killing left and right). In this, the arguably more complex character from this 8th century BC text is flattened into Being A Healer, he doesn't want to go to war he just wants to help people, he only goes because Achilles has to but he doesn't want to fight he's a HEALER he's a gentle lover NOT A FIGHTER who just wants to help he just wants to help everyone around him he HEALS while Achilles is a doomed warrior who is so good at fighting and KILLING its a DICHOTOMY GUYS!!!LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SUN AND MOON DOOMED LOVERS SO SAD patocluse HEALER . (I Think he's specifically characterized as being BAD at fighting but might be misremembering)

-I don't remember much about Achilles' characterization I think it just makes him less of a jackass while not adding anything of interest and levels out into being mad boring.

-Not getting into the literal millenias old debate whether the mythological characters Achilles and Patroclus were being characterized as some type of lover by the original oral sources of the Iliad or its Homeric writers. We will never know. We don't even know what (if any) culturally accepted conventions of male homosexuality existed in bronze age Greece (we know much more about their descendants). But there are some interesting elements of their characterization in this direction, with how unconventional their relationship is WITHIN the text itself- Patroclus is described as cooking for Achilles and his guests (very specifically a woman/wife's job), Achilles chides Patroclus like a father, but there's also scene where Achilles' mourning of him directly echoes a passage of Hector's wife mourning her husband, Patroclus is explicitly stated to Achilles' elder, and is overall treated as his equal or near-equal, closest confidant and most beloved friend (to the point that pederastic classical Greeks would debate over who was erastes (older authority figure lover) and who was eromenos (adolescent 'beloved')- many took it as a given that this text depicted their present-day cultural norms of homosexual behavior but it existed so Outside of these norms that it had to be debated who was who). Their relationship is non-standard both within the text and to the descendants of the civilization that wrote them.

Basically what I'm saying is this book had opportunities to like, explore the unconventionality of the relationship (being presented here as explicitly lovers), explore the dynamics of why Patroclus wants to do 'women's work' (besides being a tenderhearted softboy), the weird dynamics where they take on paternal roles to each other but also roles of wives, how they feel about being this way, and just kind of Doesn't. Which I guess isn't an intrinsic fault (because it omits much of what I just talked about to begin with). it's just like.... Lame. This book takes jsut abandons everything interesting about the source text in favor of flattening it into bland Doomed Yaoi.

-The conflict that sets off the core story of the Iliad is Achilles and Agamemnon fighting over Briseis, an enslaved Trojan woman taken by Achilles as a war-trophy, Achilles spends most of the story moping because he was dishonored by his 'trophy' being taken. Achilles and Patroclus and everyone else are raping their captives, all the women in the story are either captured Trojans (or in the case of the free women within the walls of Troy, soon to be enslaved, and are slave owners themselves). Slavery as an institution and extreme patriarchal conventions are innate to the text and reflective of the context in which it was developed. You cannot avoid it.

But obviously you can't have your soft yaoi boys doing this, so the author has them capturing women to Protect Them from the other men. Their slaves are UNDER THEIR PROTECTION and VERY SAFE (and they might even Like And Befriend Them but I might be misremembering that. Briseis does though). Our heroes have apparently absorbed none of the ideals of the culture they exist in and the author seems to think "they're gay and aren't sexually attracted to their captives" would translate to them being outright benevolent (also as if wartime sexual violence is just about attraction and not part of a wider spectrum of violent acts to dehumanize and brutalize an accepted 'enemy')

In the source text, Briseis mourns Patroclus as being the kindest to her of her captors, who tried to get her a slightly better outcome by getting her married to Achilles (which probably would be the Least Bad of all possible outcomes for a woman in that situation, becoming a legal wife instead of a slave), and wonders what will happen to her now that he's gone. This is a really really sad, horrible, and compelling dynamic which could be fleshed out in very interesting ways but is instead is tossed entirely aside in favor of them being Besties. Like brother and sister.

All of the above pisses me off so much. If you don't want to engage in the icky parts of ancient/bronze age Greece then don't write a retelling of a story taking place in bronze age Greece. I'm not gonna get mad at children's adaptations of Greek myths or silly fun stories loosely based on them for omitting the rape and slavery but it is SO fundamental to the Iliad. If you're not willing to handle it, either fully omit it or better yet set your Iliad inspired yaoi in an invented swords-and-sandals setting where you can have all your heartbreaking tragic doomed lovers plot beats and not have to clumsily write around the women they're brutalizing.

-The author didn't seem to know what to do with Thetis and she made her just like, Achilles bitch mother who spends most of the story trying to separate our Yaoi Boys (iirc her disguising Achilles as a girl and hiding him on Scyros is made to be more about getting him away from Patroclus than trying to save her son from his prophesied doom in the Trojan War) until she sees how much they loooove each other and I think helps Patroclus' spirit get to the afterlife or something in the end?

-This is more of a personal taste gripe but it has that writing style I loathe where the prose feels less like a story and more like an attempt to string together Deep Beautiful Hard Hitting Poetic Lines that will look great as excerpts on booktok (might predate booktok but same vibe). It's all very Pretty and Haunting and Deep but feels devoid of real substance.

I really like The Iliad and The Odyssey in of themselves. They're fascinating historical texts that give a window into how 8th century BC Greeks told their stories, saw their world, interpreted their ancestors, etc. And genuinely I think these texts have 'good' characters, there's a lot of complexity and humanity to it.

WRT the Iliad- all of the main Achaeans are pretty fascinating, the one singular part where Briseis Gets To Talk and laments her situation is great, Achilles fantasizing that all of the Trojans AND the Achaeans die so he and Patroclus alone can have the glory of conquering Troy (wild), Achilles asking to embrace Patroclus' shade and reaching out for him but it's immaterial (and the shade being sucked back underground with a 'squeak' (the squeak kinda gets me it's disturbing and sad)), Hecuba talking about wanting to tear out Achilles' liver and eat it in a (taboo, exceptioally pointed) expression of rage and grief for his mutilation of her son's corpse, just one tiny line where the enslaved women performing ritual wailing for their dead captors are described as using it as an outlet to 'grieve for their own troubles' is heartrending, etc. A lot of grappling with anger and grief and the inevitability of death, a lot of groundwork laid for characters that could be very interesting when expanded upon in the framework of a conventional novel.

And Song Of Achilles really doesn't do much with all that. I know a lot of my gripes here are kind of just "It's different from the Iliad", I would have thought of it as mostly mediocre and forgettable rather than infuriating if it wasn't a retelling (and I DEFINITELY have strong biases here). But I think the ways in which it is different are less just a product of a retelling (of course there's going to be omissions and differences) and more a complete and utter disinterest in vast majority of its own subject matter, to the book's detriment. I think a retelling has a point when it EXPANDS on the source, or provides a NEW ANGLE to the source. This book doesn't Really do either, it just shaves off the complexity of its source material, renders the characters into a really boring archetype of a gay relationship, and gives very little else. Its content boils down to a middling tragic romance that has been inserted into the hollowed out defleshed skeleton of the Iliad.

Bottom line: I definitely would not be as mad about it if I wasn't familiar with the source material but I think it's fair to expect a retelling to Engage with/expand on its source, and I also think it's weak purely on its own merits. This book was set up to disappoint Me specifically.

[4sh-n4]

Bruce Wayne, who can't cook to save his life but can bake better than even Alfred. The catch? He can only do it in the night after being awoken by nightmares. No one knows about his extraordinary skills other than Alfred and Dick, because everyone assumes that the baked goods in the kitchen are made by Alfred. Dick knows because when he was younger and couldn't sleep because of nightmares, he used to join Bruce in the kitchen and watch him work.

Dick Grayson, who is an absolute disaster in the kitchen because he keeps getting distracted, but give him a microwave and a dream and he'll prepare a solid three course meal that actually tastes decent. He's also an excellent cocktail maker, which is funny since he prefers to have his alcohol straight without any mixers (he still puts the little umbrellas in his glass though, don't be mistaken)

Jason Todd, who is an ACE in the kitchen because he refused to ever be helpless with food again after getting off the streets. He was going to eat, and he was going to eat WELL. Especially since he finally had the resources to be able to actually experiment with what he likes and what he can do with different foods, instead of just what's cheapest or most easily found. The one thing he can't do? Crack an egg with only his hands without getting any of the eggshell pieces in the food. He needs to use one of those little egg cracking tools. The thing that pissed him off the most about this is that the one thing Dick can do brilliantly in the kitchen, is crack eggs with one (1!!!) hand only.

Tim Drake, who is definitely not michelin star level (the Drakes had a cook for Tim's entire childhood so he never had to learn), but has learnt to sustain himself with instant meals and those little ramen packets. He somehow always makes them taste good though, adding toppings and making sure they are some form of nourishing, even if that just means adding a fried egg on top and calling it a day. He also knows the difference between all the different little types of tea that alfred likes to drink just by taste, and is the only other person in the house that can make a perfect cup (that is Alfred approved). It always shocks everyone else, because Tim is notorious for hating the taste of tea.

Cass Cain, who has no culinary abilities and does not want them either. Her skills in the kitchen start and end with making sandwiches. But whenever she goes out to eat, she always goes to a chinese restaurant and gets something that she hasn't tried before, because she was never introduced to any foods of her culture and wants to taste them all now. Oh, and she can do super complicated tricks with the knives, her and Dick have constant competitions about who can do the coolest thing.

Steph Brown, who lives off of takeaway for most meals, but can make better breakfast foods than most people in the house. Waffles, pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast, you name it and she can make it. Only if it is traditionally eaten before noon though. She also worked as a barista part time for a while, so she knows all the fancy coffee recipes.

Damian Al Ghul Wayne, who doesn't care to cook other cuisines, but taught himself how to make almost every middle eastern and south asian dish he could get his hands on, because it helped him feel closer to his home and his mother when he first moved in with his father. His fondest memories of his mother are of her feeding him his cultural foods and telling him about their origins. It was the only time they did not speak of work, or his training, but instead about what his father was like as a person, about the things his mother has seen on her travels over the years, about his maternal grandmother, about his interest in animals.

Duke Thomas, who can cook enough for a 15 year old but doesn't touch the kitchen of Wayne manor very often, not unless he's just sitting on the counter watching others or helping minorly. His memories are still fresh enough to bleed when touched and all his memories of him cooking in the kitchen have his parents happily dancing in the background on Sundays with loud music blaring through the walls as they teach him how to chop onions without crying or knead dough.

Alfred Pennyworth, who only had the most basic culinary skills when he began working for the Waynes, just enough to keep him alive when he was in the military, but was forced to learn how to cook when he was unexpectedly given custody of an 8 year old. He can cook better than most professional chefs in the world now, but he still hoards Thomas Wayne's old cookbooks like they're the only tangible part left of the man who once filled the halls of the manor, even though he knows that's not true. He'll pass them down to his grandchildren one day...just not today. Today, they're still his.

[the---hermit]

You know when you watch movies set in the past or fantasy movies, and when you get the epic pre-battle scenes you inevitably ask yourself why do they need all those drummers and stuff when all those men playing could be given a sword or something and be added to the troops? I am currently visiting a medieval festival and I just heard an exibition of war drums and I feel like I could run a half marathon. The drummers make so much sense.

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

I would love a drawing about how tiny Pete is compared to Travie, like, Travie scooping Pete up and carrying him around, doesn't have to be nsfw but I can think of sexy ideas of Pete being so tiny if you want

Hellloooooo did you know I love trete so much like so so so much like I made this a year or so ago

Anywhooooooo here ya go, I drew all of these with hearts in my eyes and I hope you can tell 💕

[myckicade]

Blenders.

Fucking blenders.

[minionsuncle]

my take on Edward and Lydia. The graphic novels pulling me back a little wont lie …

[ratatatastic]

"Have you ever seen [Barkov] fall? Has he ever fallen? He's never fallen his entire career!" "Uh—It's, uh, funny and I don't know if he'll care that I say this, but he's got those—he doesn't like the blades that you can snap in and out quickly. So when he needs to get his skates done in the middle of a game, he's gotta fully take off his skates, get 'em sharpened and retie them up—which is like one of the few guys in the league, I think, that still do that. So sometimes he'll have absolutely no edge, and he'll just find a way to, like, compensate and get through it—which is incredible." "That kind-of sucks though 'cuz that's like a bad dream to have. You're waiting on something else, like—even if the trainers just like snapped it back in or whatever, like maybe they had something different they can put in there. He probably wouldn't even know!" "[...] this guy's particular. He knows his game and he's goddamn good at it! And we don't say a word so!" "'Barky, we need you out there for the face off! There's two seconds left!'" "That's what I mean! He'll compensate and he'll still look better than all of us! Like if any of us had no edge like that, we'd be screwed, right? And he goes out there and does the Barky things that he does. We're all grateful for it! He's been getting me paid for 10 years now, so."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

loving my captain face... absolutely smitten with the man hes spent a decade with despite still not being invited to his house... thats love babey oh hes absolutely swinging and kicking his feet

THE LITTLE SMILE HE MAKES AFTER HE GOES "hes been getting me paid for 10 years now so 😃"

[antisisyphus]

i keep thinking back to a quote by some architect who was arguing that the most sustainable architecture is the architecture that doesnt get torn down bc we will be (hopefully) constantly finding newer, cheaper, more efficient, ways of being "sustainable" so trying to make the most sustainable building is a moot point. in 5 years it will be outdated & if all it has going for it is "was once a very sustainable building but isnt anymore" well. that isnt much. the point was that the architect was saying that classical/romantic architecture (often considered very beautiful & worth saving which i could get into but that a whole other thing) is sustainable bc of its beauty. bc of the value we put on it. bc we dont want to erase or tear down things we find beautiful or important. i dont really have an end thought but im just musing on the importance of beauty & how aesthetic value can extend itself into material value & also how beauty (infinite) is hoarded by the rich as if it is a finite source. inch resting

[faaun]

my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you

[x-enocyon]

Okay, it’s official. Everybody meet Lake!

[bookshelf-in-progress]

Long-Running Story Ideas That I Very Much Wish I Could Actually Write

Original Fiction

Shadowstruck

Lily Between Worlds

Cardinal's Map

Paper Wings

A Beautiful Tomorrow

Henry and Mouse

Starfall

The Dust That Falls from Passing Stars

Cinderella retelling

Starfall novel

Arateph

The Princess and the Pea

Rapunzel

Snow White

Cinderella

Half-baked ideas for Little Red Riding Hood, The Goose Girl, and the romance of Auren's parents

Other Fairy Tale Retellings

The Tattercoats Retelling

Traditional East of the Sun, West of the Moon retelling

Political Goose Girl retelling

The Servant's Crown

Twelve Huntsmen retelling

[velvetjune]

the chapter songs in Alan Wake 2,, flawless

[doux-amer]

I think the reason I wasn't as exasperated with Arcane S2 despite its many issues is that I...thought the writing wasn't that amazing in S1, at least as much as it was hyped to be, so I went into S2 not being invested. I just wanted to see an animated work that was pretty to look at, good fight scenes, and hot people.

And then I kept getting emotionally sucker punched and look, I can talk about the things that frustrated me because I wish we had more room to explore all the intriguing narrative threads that were made and things were done justice, but...I'm holding jayvik, zaundads, timebomb, Vi and Powder's family (do NOT talk to me about episode 7), etc. in my hands and crying all over them. Also, wow the soundtrack and the visuals. Wow.

[nathsolkyoako]

I read the shit I wrote yesterday and like. Dude this is Weird

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hey did you know quasi-sight-reading four part choral harmonies on piano with only one hours' heads up before rehearsal while a fan keeps automatically turning your pages doesn't go well