#ferru won :')

[alacants]

2010 copa telmex (atp buenos aires): ferrero d. ferrer 5–7, 6–4, 6–3

highlights

[supercomputer-lizard]

Which primarch is the most fuckable?

Most of the people who have seen the other two polls for the traitor primarchs and loyalist primarchs probably already know who won both rounds. This is of the top three of each just because

If you don’t know, in most to least fuckable order, here:

The traitors: Magnus, Fulgrim, Horus, Konrad Cruze, Alpharious/Omegon, Mortarion, Lorgar and Perturabo (tied), and Angron

The loyalists: Sanguinius, Rowboat Girlyman, Vulkan, Jaghatai Khan, Leman Russ, Corvus Corax, The Lion, Rogal Dorn and Ferrus Manus (both tied for last place)

here is the link to one of those polls. Why one? Because it has the link to the other one

I also have one for the lost primarchs soooooooo. Here link

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

Could you tell me about your TTS continuation AU? It intrigues me. :)

Oh man, the original version of this post was going to be a play-by-play of everything that happens xDDDD But, uh, basically, it started back when TTS wasn't going to be cancelled, and it started with the question, "well, if one of the Custodes owns Magnus's soul and they're a couple now, and there are three [at the time] more Custodes characters and three more daemon primarchs who belong to one specific god...what if all three of them ended up with a Custodes who had won his soul—and his hearts?"

The premise has changed a little now, now only Mortarion is one in a game, but the premise is still basically "everyone gets a boyfriend (except for a few people who get girlfriends), everyone starts to heal from their traumas and get along, and eventually their family is reunited and the Emperor is able to safely get off the throne.

Mortarion ends up with Wamuudes, Fulgrim with Karstodes, Angron with Custodisi, Ferrus with Hammurabi, I think Roboute ends up with Yvraine, Jaghatai has an OC Eldar boyfriend, Corvus ends up with the two soldiers he met on that one planet I'm too lazy to look up the name of, and I think that's it??? Sanguinius was accidentslly brought back to life a long time ago, Horus gets pulled out of the Unmaterium, Konrad turns out to have been a Perpetual all along...

There are feasts, baths, calling each other out, gardens, arguments about etymology, a pun I still maintain is an absolute banger, and Vulkan hugs everyone at some point. There's also sex scenes and a seduction I need to slightly rewrite to conform to a new headcanon I picked up.

So yeah! I haven't written very much of it, because damn, it's a lot, but it was where I started writing fanfiction instead of daydreaming it.

[theemeraldwings]

Reblogging because my response has become too long to put in the replies:

I don't think many people view the traitor primarchs as irredeemable, and I think the number among people who are well-versed in Horus Heresy lore is even smaller. They are, from the beginning, tragic characters. They certainly have their damning characteristics (namely hypocrisy), but they aren't really presented as irredeemable--we even have explicit statements regarding redemption for two of them (Big E says Mortarion can be redeemed in Godblight, and he outright forgives Horus in The End and the Death Vol III). I don't entirely agree with your interpretations, however. I don't think any of them are irredeemable (at least, not due to their own actions), but I think they miss some key details.

For all Angron claimed to be standing against oppression, he spent over a century expanding the Emperor's (extremely oppressive) regime. There's no moral purity shit here, either--Angron is pretty open about how he hates serving the Emperor even as he reduces worlds to ash in his name. What you said about Mortarion also applies to Angron, because of the Butcher's Nails. He was denied the chance to die with his family on Nuceria, and for the remainder of his life before daemonhood, the one thing he wants to do is die. And then Lorgar takes that away from him.

Mortarion's fall is because, first and foremost, he cared about his sons. Typhus brought the legion to Nurgle's garden, and infected them with the Destroyer Plague. Mortarion fell to Nurgle because he wanted to end their pain. Mortion is also a hypocrite. Like Angron, for all his claims of hating tyranny, he still expanded a tyrant's domain for a century and a half. (Corvus Corax is also on this list, but this is about traitor primarchs, not loyalist)

Magnus' guilt is very hotly debated among the community, and both sides have a point. On the one hand, he did the best thing he could with the information he had available. On the other hand, he was incredibly cocky, and did not have a concept of restraint. He believed he was in control, and he was too confident in that belief. (Side note: I despise the troupe of super powers being a stand-in for being queer (or any minority of any kind, for that matter)).

Fulgrim never said "fuck it, I'll have fun". His fall to Slaanesh was driven by his belief that, after killing Ferrus Manus, he was irredeemable. He's an addict; he isn't trying to have fun, he's trying to forget reality.

Everybody agrees that Big E mishandled Lorgar, and that's the most favorable interpretation for him. His argument on why he isn't a god is literal abuser language ("If I was a god, I'd use my psychic powers to force you all to kneel before me, like this" before using his psychic powers to force all of the Word Bearers to kneel before him). And all this ignores the shit Kor Phaeron did to him.

Horus is the spoiled rich white boy of the primarchs. He didn't fall because he was lost because dad was doing everything for him beforehand, he fell because he saw a vision of the future where he wasn't given the credit he thought he deserved. And then, like anybody else who grew up being told the world would be at their feet, he lost it. There's other issues as well, such as taxes (Terra wanted to impose heavy tithes on newly conquered worlds, which Horus opposed because it would cause them to rebel), but "gee, maybe I'm not ready" was never an issue.

Alpharius and Omegon believed that they knew the Emperor's plans better than he did, and threw in their lot with the traitors because they thought that if the traitors won, it would mean the end for Chaos.

Perturabo is someone who chose to suffer in silence and hope things would magically change. He never complains, and then is shocked when things don't go his way. I'm fairly sure he's also the primarch that people find the most relatable.

Konrad Curze was certainly mentally ill, and he was certainly denied the help and support that he needed, but I don't think he was abused because of it. He's also the kind of person who thought that if you publicly lynched enough jaywalkers, crime would go down, and that the Emperor sending an assassin to kill him because he committed treason and genocide was vindication for his belief that any crime warrants being skinned alive as a punishment.

They may not be irredeemable, but their hands are fare from clean.

I love how much of warhammer 40k is clearly a bunch of white dudes sitting around, thinking up the worst shit imaginable and going "thank god that could never happen to me, the cishet white guy"

angron is a one for one depiction of slavery, yet is painted as the bad guy for wanting to stand against oppression

mortarion is disabled and constantly has his decisions taken away from him by able bodied people only to be seen as moody and uncooperative

magnus is gay or trans or both. literally a guy blamed for something he was born with that he cannot control and told you're bad if you explore this part of yourself. also you're illegal now

fulgrim was actively encouraged to pursue perfection, despite never being good enough for others. he pushed any personal pleasure aside for an uncaring crusade and then is demonized for saying "fuck it, I'll have fun"

lorgar. also known as "this is why you don't abuse your kids"

horus is the golden child who's sent out into the world by himself only to find out Gee, Maybe I'm Not Ready because good ol dad did everything for him then told him "figure it out lol"

alpharius omegon are the autistic kids who don't understand why pops is doing this, maybe we should do things a little different than "blood soaked crusade"

perturabo is the burnout middle kid who did everything to impress his father only to be told "that's what's expected of you" who then got mad since acting out was the only way he got attention

konrad curze has a mental disorder. and is abused because of it

all of these characters were so close to being some of the best representation for minorities we could get in media only for gw to eat shit right at the finish line because they can't commit to an actual story. and it's amazing just how little these writers understand that the things they depict are all real things that people suffer through every day, and are demonized for every single day, especially when we are told these characters are irredeemable and should be destroyed, no questions asked

[franchufeuillassier]

Fuck sascha, JAUME HAS BEATEN TIAFOE

[bellezzamortale]

ferru and roberto won their doubles match too yesterday and my heart is so full?

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

A theory on the Primarch Mirror-Pairings and figuring out the identity of the Lost Primarchs from that

So this theory as a whole is nothing new, and I have seen versions of it going around. However, as a fun thought exercise, I thought maybe if there are two able to match up, that could be a hint towards two two "mystery" ones. Generally when dealing with Chaos you never just get the thing you want - you usually get two, neither being exactly what you wished for but technically fitting the definition. Given how the Emperor "tricked" the Chaos Gods in cooperating (strong word for just saying "No Fuck Off when being presented with the bill), the Primarchs should be no exception with this.

For this we will start with the most obvious pairings, and then move on to the speculative bits. Overall we should get ten pairings, each themed around a thing one would need as a load bearing pillar of the empire.

Pairing One: Rogal Dorn and Peturabo. Infrastructure. Iron Warriors and Imperial Fists are probably the only two legions that are actively involved in building infrastructure. These two are the ones who even in peace times could have their place in the Imperium - just imagine construction crews of Astartes taming even the most dangerous deathworlds and turning them into habitable planets. Sadly, in their timeline, there is only war.

Pairing two, Roboute Guiliman and Horus. Logistical prowess, with the difference being that while the Ultramarines are superior at running a multi-system-empire, in terms of pure war logistics Horus is superior. The Lunar Wolves always won because they were good at fighting, stealth, speed, and anything - but because it is hard to lose when you got a fuckload of tanks and artillery backing you up and blasting the enemy to bits before you even get into close range.

Pairing three: The Lion and Alpharius. Secrets. Oh so many secrets. One is vey good at keeping them, the other at getting them. Both are defined by a paranoid streak that puts their own little club above everything in the universe, inculding the Empire they are a part of or the Chaos Gods respectively.

Most likely pair to do a loyality-swap in the future edition.

Pairing Four: Leman Russ and Angron. The "send them somewhere quick and brutal"-team. People tend to forget that lore detail, but given pre-nail Angron's palandin-equse abilities and personality, the War Dogs were initially designed as a rapid responder to help other legions. They were the cavallary coming in to save their friends in trouble by straight up murdering the enemy full-force. Sadly, the Nails in Angron's head had other plans.

Meanwhile the Space Wolves are there to get sent on allies should they pose a danger. They are the only legion that had combat experience against Astartes before the Heresy. Both would rush into combat with absolute savagery and brutality.

Pairing Five: Corvus Corax and Kondrad Curze. Role: being in your vents. Right now. These are the stealthy boys. Not much can be said here because the premise is quite simple, even if both legions draw entirely different conclusion on how to operate with their stealth.

The Raven Guard is more about surgical strikes from impossible positions, while the Night Lords are, well... more prone to evading the actual enemy while forcing a planet into compliance by sheer incomprehensible terror.

Pairing Six: The Khan and Mortarion. Movement. You wanna go somewhere and you definetly need to go get there? Either get there faster than anyone else, or just get there absolutely no matter what stands between you and the destination.

Pairing Seven: Sanguinius and Fulgrim. The potentially cultural icons of the Empire. Aside from both legions being some of the few that truly respect the arts, they are also both the legions with the most severe build-in mental illnesses. Both of them are a result of how "emotionally crippled" Astartes are by design when compared to regular beings. This probably deserves its own post.

---

This leaves us Ferrus Manus, Vulcan, Magnus, and Lorgar. It could make sense to put the first two into a category, but that would be the first pairing that would not follow the pattern of "loyalist vs. chaos" which by now has been established. Meanwhile Magnus and Lorgar do not really fit together either. Sure they both meddle with the warp, but that's something other Primarchs do too, even if to various degrees.

Assuming we put Vulcan and Ferrus Manus into the "Craftsmen" category, that must mean that the two Lost Primarchs might be mirrors to Magnus and Lorgar respectively. Alternatively one could put Magnus and Ferrus Manus into a combo themed around transhumanism, either by technology or psykic ability. This would fit with the established pattern.

Then the two lost would be mirrors of Volcan and Lorgar.

Since it is Lorgar in both cases, it would make sense given how out of his brothers the purge of the Lost shook him the most. In fact, the Emperor's lack of mercy in this case was probably the one thing that set the conditions for the heresy to happen. Him having a counterpart, probably a philosophical mind to bounce of his theologics, would make sense, and given how both within that theme would be more civilized than some of their brothers, they'd probably have some interesting contrast him.

Both would probably be the same in the way that they seek their salvation in something deemed superior to them. For the Word Bearers that was the Emperor. But who could it be for the Lost One? Maybe the Glorious Machine God? The Omnissiah? Given how the Word Bearers have a lot of cybernetic constructs fighting for them, despite that having little to do with their original theme, and Lorgar canonically having being close with one of the Lost, it is save to assume that Lost Legion One went HARD into tech - and probably got purged due to meddling with AI.

Vulcan meanwhile, while being a big guy with a big heart and some mad smithing skills he picked up at his core is about one thing: survival. He is a perpetual and just can't die, and under that theme his legions self-reliancy when it comes to weapons and other tech makes a lot of sense. The Salamanders are probably some of the toughest Astartes around, and they are very aware of it. Ironically that combined with the personality led to the highest casuality rates of any legion early on, as they would sacrifice themselves a lot to get civillians and guard out of the danger zone. Because who if not the toughest boys around should be the ones to rush head first into danger? It could also be that Perpetuals in general have an subconscious lower self-preservation-instinct, and that gets put into his Astartes as well - who sadly are NOT Perpetuals. They just get the brain of one.

So how would a mirror look like to this? Simple: survival through adaptation. A highly adaptive biology that with some bio-science adding it up could probably do everything from making them grow protective scales to getting gills. It could explain some of the weirder animal-themed chapters running around today.

They were probably purged because they went a bit too hard into "becoming their own species" by accident. Turns out when you are biological clay, changing one's sex is not exactly hard. So yeah, this is where the Lady Space Marines ended up - with the response of the Emperor being "Ew, girls are yucky - and also you are about to betray humanity as a whole by evolving away from it" followed by a purge.

Wait, doesn't this all sound familiar? OH RIGHT IT TOTALLY ADDS UP WITH MY PREVIOUS THEORY ON THE LOST PRIMARCHS.

Who could have known? It's almost like I had some thought put into it for a long ass time :>

[lightdancer1]

"THE FLESH IS WEAK!"

The monotonous cry echoed on the world of Tehezhan, which had had the ill-fortune to spurn the so-called Emperor of Mankind. Earthgov had, in the old days, been a parliamentary federation in alliance. These swollen monstrosities in clanking armor with their bionic hands and the colossal giant leading them were unexpected manifestations of the throneworld.

"THE FLESH IS WEAK!" Humanity, true humans, not these gigantic nightmarish things that should not be, had seen the terrifying power of the bombardment of the so-called X Legion, the inexorable destructive force of the overlord called Ferrus Manus.

The Imperium lied, it said the all too well known horrors of the Warp were not real, and as such it was humanity's gateway to doom. And yet here, forces with metal arms, inexorable power from the stars and from such concentrated bombardment that the state that said there were no Gods won its wars by Gods made manifest.

"THE FLESH IS WEAK!"

The door shattered and the towering overlord of the creatures, a brutally rugged giant with a scar-seamed face and gleaming metal hands that shone with an unholy red light, as if the blood it shed was illuminating it, stood before those within the building. It was another Warp-spawned horror, it had to be. Nothing else could be that size, could make them fall to their knees in terrified awe as the creature loomed over them, a sneer crossing its face.

"Now you know fear, mortals."

It moved with an uncannily fast pace for something like a small hill with iron hands.

When a soldier loses a limb, it is a tragedy. Soldiers are needed at peak efficiency, so they must undergoes the unthinkable - grafting metal to flesh. A horrific abomination, the mere process is often enough to shatter what is left of their mind. Then, there are the humans.

[alacants]

if you saw the full video of carlos alcaraz and his team watching rafa's retirement announcement, perhaps you noticed that his coach seemed, dare i say it, reluctant to join in. if you follow juanki and/or jcf academy on social perhaps you noticed that amidst effusive tributes from across the spanish tennis establishment both were conspicuously silent. why the seeming reticence from one spanish great to the spanish great? well. WELL.

juanki, rafa, and the case of the green-eyed monster

("but user alacants, in creating this post aren't you ignoring the vagaries of human nature in favor of imposing a narrowly crafted narrative onto a twenty-year relationship that is probably both more complex and less contentious than you make it out to be?"

of course i am. what are you, new?)

davis cup 2004

prior to 2004 juanki was Mr Davis Cup. he often cites the 2000 cup (where his win decided the tie) as the most meaningful title of his career, more so than roland garros. then 2004 rolls around, spain makes their third final in 5 years… and the day before the tie begins juanki is dropped from the lineup in favor of some 18 year old who's never even played a match at roland garros. (<- actually. isn't that crazy??)

"obviously i am not jumping up and down with happiness." and to be fair to him everyone else sounded baffled as well. and then… the 18 year old had the nerve to play andy roddick in front of a record-breaking 27k home crowd and win.

to twist the knife: at the last minute juanki got named to the doubles match alongside tommy robredo and they got CRUSHED, just absolutely destroyed, by the bryan brothers. held serve once in three sets. 

so it is maybe not a surprise that afterwards juanki does not exactly look happy despite nominally winning a major trophy.

it's noticeable enough to make the news. rafa is forced to tell the press nooooo, it's not true that they don't get along. juanki then goes on the record to say that on the trip back from sevilla the captains were only paying attention to nadal and moya, the winners, and ignoring him and tommy, the losers. while this may be true there is no way to make it sound good that you're saying it, yk.

(if you click through you will see that in the same interview he describes himself and rafa as "good friends." rafa goes on to describe them as friends on several more occasions! juanki does not.)

three months later, spain went out in the first round of the 2005 cup, 4-1 to slovakia. juan carlos was not part of the team lmao. and indeed a qualification play-off in september would be his last taste of davis cup action for several years. (that last call-up was ferru's first btw. red string of fate. SORRYYYY I KNOW IT'S NOT ABOUT THEM.)

roland garros 2005

unfortunately if you're juanki it did not get better. here he is in 2005 "[accusing] spanish media of a nadal obsession." (that link will also give you a taste of the contemporary fan discourse lmao.) he was baited, but also, they baited him because they knew he'd rise to the occasion.

rafa nadal btw had just played his first roland garros, which he won. juanki at rg: "unlike the media-designated extraterrestrials i'm just a HUMBLE PLAYER trying to win matches. i'm not one of the favorites but maybe if i keep trying…" he was then forced to deny he was jealous.

(this was shortly after rafa beat him for the title in barcelona, resulting in this cheerful take: "when you're on a high like nadal is everything seems to go right - but it doesn't last forever.")

rafa, meanwhile, is not helping:

QUESTION: Other than Carlos Moya, were there any other Spanish players you grew up watching, admiring? Did you follow Juan Carlos at all when you were growing up? RAFAEL NADAL: No, my favorite was Moya.

rome 2008

the hits continue. by 2008 rafa nadal is THE spanish tennis man, he's the guy everyone thought juanki was going to be. (ouch.) and now they are about to meet in rome. rafa btw has been undefeated on clay since the famous federer hamburg final, for an overall record of 117-4 since 2005. he's never lost in rome.

so imagine the reaction when juanki actually wins.

—wait did you think it was something like "ferrero shocks king of clay in tantalizing return to form." lol of course it's not, it's "nadal suffers freak loss due to blisters." harsh? rafa didn't think so: "i congratulate juan carlos, but today for sure was not my best tennis."

never mind that juanki was also playing through injury, bad enough that it took him out of barcelona then functionally killed his roland garros. (safe to assume that after 2004 he's more or less always injured.) this is typical sports media syndrome, nothing new or particularly unexpected. but once again: juanki is not, like, shy about expressing his thoughts.

QUESTION: The fact that Rafa was injured - he complained about the foot injury at the press conference here - what does that take away from your win? Do you feel it takes a little bit of shine away from your win? JUAN CARLOS FERRERO: [...] When you go to the court and you decide to play, I think the injury is not reason to say yes or no… You know, at the end I play a little bit better than him. I don't know if it was big reason to don't play at his best level, the injury. QUESTION: How much do you think this loss and the injury is going to affect Nadal's preparation for Roland Garros? JUAN CARLOS FERRERO: I don't know. Maybe you have to ask him. 

fortunately (???) this match was immediately followed by an explosive spanish tennis row that ended with top players including juanki and rafa joining hands in solidarity to push the president of rfet out of his job, so this did not become the topic it might have otherwise. 

davis cup 2009

it's now 2009. juanki hasn't played a davis cup tie since 2005. he's just dropped out of the top 100. and then… rafa and ferru get injured. juanki gets a dc call-up. he heroically saves the qf tie! he wins his sf rubber! his teammates are tossing him in the air, the crowds are chanting his name! he doesn't make the final roster bc everyone is healthy but he's a reserve, he's there with the team. they sweep the tie, the heroes are undisputedly his special friend ferru (epic comeback) + verdasco/lopez (deciding win over undefeated opponents). …and then they go for the obligatory meeting with the prime minister who's like, RAFA YOU WON THE DAVIS CUP FOR US THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH WE LOVE YOU.

a lot of people were unhappy about this, presumably (??) including actual rafa. afterwards, juanki says, "most of the team thought it was disrespectful." one wonders who was not included in "most."

(honestly? probably feli lopez.)

valencia 2013

speaking of actual rafa, did he notice and/or care about anything of this? i mean he definitely noticed. but i assume he didn't care. (rafa experts are welcome to chime in here.) after all, a couple years later rafa spoke at juanki's retirement ceremony. there was a hug and everything!

so like, ok, they are cordial, they are friendly, rafa's place is cemented in history and juanki is retired anyway. THEN less than a year later rafa pulls out of juanki's beloved valencia open to enter a different more lucrative tournament instead and he is fully dead to juanki who is calling him out in the press like, i think it's his DUTY as a SPANIARD to support a spanish tournament.

which event did he choose instead, btw? Roger Federer's Basel™. which he hadn't played since 2004. and then he ended up withdrawing anyway. there was some conspiracy theory type thinking at the time that he only committed to basel so he had an excuse not to play valencia (well that and the $$$) which is almost certainly untrue but is also very funny.

meanwhile juanki sooort of backpedaled like i mean we don't understand his decision but we respect it… sure, juanki.

late-career detente (?)

juanki has since repeatedly gone on the record noting 1. the only player he ever felt inferior to was roger federer 2. who btw is the best player of all time. these are not neutral statements coming from a spaniard and no one is taking them that way.

now having said that, he has also had plenty of nice or at least diplomatic things to say in recent years about rafa's will to compete, etc. "i wouldn't like him to get [to roland garros] and not win matches." while also dropping gems such as:

q: which of the big three was the hardest to play and why? juanki: federer. but i'm just glad i managed to beat all three of them before i retired. :)

with all of this in mind, the aforementioned video of carlos and team watching rafa's message. is. so. funny. JUAN CARLOS GROW UPPPP. like presumably the academy at least will say something once the big moment rolls around but when literally every other spanish tennis player under the sun is posting their glowing tributes and you are Haughtily Silent it's so obvious!! son!!!

additionally: this makes juanki spending the olympics at home so fucking funny. yeah, i bet you DIDN'T want to watch your special friend and your beloved protege coo over rafael nadal for two weeks. like in the year 2024 there's no way it's that serious, nothing more than "my annoying ex-coworker i still have to be polite to." just, they're not friends. and ferru and rafa (and now carlos) are. and it's very funny to me personally.

in conclusion: "rafa largely to blame for ferrero's downfall" (espn, 2012)

[the-sisters-library]

Somehow, I managed to skip Book 51: Born of Flame, the collection of Salamanders short stories. So I’m catching up on that one.

Here’s a Crusade-era Zoom holo meeting between Ferrus Manus, Mortarion, and Vulkan. Emps put Ferrus in charge this time, which Morty hates:

"Ferrus folded his arms, silver like flowing mercury, but did not bite at the obvious lure. 'Is your task over-difficult, brother? I had thought the natives of Barbarus to be of sterner stock.'

Mortarion's eyes narrowed and his grip on his massive scythe tightened. 'The Legion leaves death in its wake, brother! Come to the ice fields and see for yourself how war should be conducted.'

Unable to cool his molten core any longer, Ferrus snapped. 'Your ravages are already known to me, Mortarion. We must leave some of this world intact if it is to be of use afterwards. You and your kind may thrive in a toxic waste, but the settlers who follow us will not.'

'My kind? Your own Legion's progress is as slow and flawed as the machines they covet. What of the desert, is it won?'

'It is intact. Any warmonger with Legiones Astartes at his call can unleash destruction, but your tactics are extreme. One-Five-Four will not become a barren, lifeless rock under my charge.'

'Brothers...'

Both turned in mid-dispute to regard Vulkan. 'Our enemy is without, not within. We should reserve our anger for them and them alone. We each occupy three very different theatres of war. Different approaches are needed and each of us must be the judge of that. Our father made us generals, and generals must be allowed to lead.'...."

[relax-and-read-on]

who would be the first to get brutally murdered if the primarchs ever played the most treacherous game known to men... UNO?

This. This is why I run this stupid blog.

The primarch, but they are playing Uno and shit is about to go DOWN.

Horus: Cheat. Cheat like a motherfucker. He will hit you with a pick 4 and a smile and you will want to strangle his smug ass.

Mortarion: Try to keep his cool. It's no working very well. Is wondering if he should poison whoever suggested playing the gar in the first place.

Leman: colorblind. No one is helping him. Gets extremely angry and probably throw his card unto the table at some point, before trying to strangle someone, probably Magnus.

Sanguinius: He is THIS fucking close to loosing it. Eventually, Horus hit him with another +4 and he just. Lunge at him in a berserker rage.

Magnus: He might be reading everyone's mind, it does not HELP if he only get shit cards!!! Why is he having such horrible lucks??? Get into a fiat fight with Leman over cheating (it was Horus fault).

Angron: Play for exactly 5 round, then curse everyone, violently throw his cards at the others and storm out.

Lorgar: Got hit in the face by Angron cards and is now bleeding a bit. Actually like cards game!!! But end up the Worst Looser.

Vulkan: Heroically try to stop berserker Sanguinius, get caught in the fray and is now bleeding with Lorgar. He wanted to watch movies for family night.... :(

Fulgrim: He's trying to strategise and count the cards but it make NO SENSE?!? Realise that someone is cheating and has a meltdown at the table.

Ferrus: was actually doing really well, but drag a screaming/crying Fulgrim off the table. He didn't even like playing.

Roboute: End up abandoning the game to treat Lorgar and Vulkan who are bleeding everywhere. Remind himself to burn the monopoly board.

Perturabo: he wanted to play Jenga, but his game was vetoed. He's being one of the worst player but bitterly insist on playing.

Corvus: She used her power to dip after a few rounds, when it was clear things were going to end up in a blood bath.

Konrad: Did not know how to play Uno. Did not listen to the rules. Tried to eat the card. Got his Very First Pick 4, and screamed about injustice and tried to scalp that person. Is now banned from playing Uno.

Jaghatai: He was the one who one who gave Konrad a +4, and was badly spooked at the idea of loosing his hairs. Excused himself shortly after and went to hang out with Angron and Corvus.

Lion: Prolong eye contact. No extra word. Every movement is precise. No extra emotions. But every time someone use a card against him... He make a mental note to Exact Revenge at a later date.

Rogal: He was the one who vetoed Jenga. Is finding this game incredibly dull and trying to argue the meaning of it.

Alpharius Omegon: The ones who suggested playing in the first place, mostly to watch the world burn. They won.

[ri-coklan]

Horus ferrus sanguinius lion girly boat boom war won

Meme game time!

[askrobouteguilliman40k]

Which one win the baby oil covered flex-off? I bet it was Russ. Or Ferrus. Never Magnus though, the nerd.

"Magnus won, Russ was to hairy to oil properly and Freuss to ridged."

"Seriously, for a Nerd, Magnus was ripped."

[zombie-techpriest]

My Primarch Top List

This is just my Personal Opinion!!

From least to favorite.

18. Lorgar   I can‘t say that his story isn‘t interessting, BUT I have a BIG Problem with Religious Fanatics and because, he is an Asshole. Thanks Lorgar, you ruined the Imperium (Sort of) -10/10

17. Mortarion Simple Problem: I can‘t stand Body odor or bad smells in general and he is the embodiment of bad smell and everything disgusting. His Character… no...Just no… But like with Lorgar, his lore is interessting and the design kinda cool but NO!!! Sorry Morti but you STINK!! 0/10

16. Lion El‘Johnson Just...boring!! He is the one I always keep forgetting that he exist in the First place! I like his legions, I mostly like Asmodai that guy is so free of all humor, he is Funny. But no chance for Lion, he is boring. 1/10

15. Konrad Curze That man is my Teenage years: Cringy, Egdy and greasy hair and because he reminds me too much about Cringy Edgelords I can‘t stand him. Its the point of Edgy that stops being cool and just being Cringe. That whole Vampire thing is meh..no. Not anymore. My 15 Year old Self would have LOVED him, but now, doubled in age, he is just Cringe. 1/10

14. Horus Same as with Lion, he is just BORING!!! Even his Design is Boring! A bit Higher because, I cant forget a guy as important to the plot as Horus and I like the FAN made Stuff about him and Sanguinius. 3/10

13. Alpharius/Omegon Cool idea, not too many informations about them. I wish there would be more. But the Idea is great XD Want more 5/10

12. Rogal Dorn Well since „If the emperor had a text to Speech Device“ I like him more, but Sorry, I‘m Team Perturabo, so yeah. Also I Dislike his colors and these Armors his Sons are wearing. 5/10

11. Leman Russ The Wolf, the Space Corgy, the Emperors personal Lapdog and Trashman who does everything without asking too many questions…I have no problems with Leman BUT a bit more Brain would work Wonders…Still, I like the idea and I like wolves.6/10

10. Jaghatai Khan Design, Hairstyle, Fighting style, BEARD!! Everything Check! Cool dude, I like a man with a nice beard XD Every Primarch should have a beard! (Yes Fulgrim too!) 7/10

9. Ferrus Manus I like nearly everything about him. Many people say he isn‘t interessting, but hey, he died pretty Early before the real shit hits the fan, so imagine what COULD have been with him around longer. Also he is kinda the Techpriest version of a Primarch and...well, I love Techpriests. Also, nobody can tell me, Fulgrim cloned him to play chess with him. We all know whats really going on. 7/10

8. Fulgrim Close to his best buddy is Fulgrim, the pretty one. To be honest, I like his Demonform more than his human Form and also Slaneesh is my Favorite Chaos god, thats mostly why Fully is so high up here^^ Storys and Design is almost Aways good here, so I don‘t wanna repeat myself too often. 7/10

7. Roboute Still unsure how to pronounce his last name, So I just call him Rob, or Captain America, because thats who he reminds me of (Guess it was on Purpose) This spot in my list is Less about him and more about the wonderful, the best, the grumpiest but still so Awesome CHAPTERMASTER!!!! Seriously Marneus Calgar is a 10/10 while Roboute is a 7/10. 

 6. Vulkan Everybody loves Vulkan. The Teddybear of the group, the big strong one with the soft heart. That being said, I know he can be badass and I wanna see/read even more Badass Stuff. And he won my heart as he smashed Konrad with his hammer XD 8/10

5. Sanguinius Angelboy was always the prettier one, between him and Fulgrim in my eyes. Also I love the pure Irony he embodys by looking like an Angel, a religious figure in a time that forbids religion and his wings are part of a Mutation, but Mutants are hunted down. Love me a good Irony XD Also his Story is pretty impressive, his relationship to Horus made it all even more tragic and I love to draw him, so….8/10

4. Corvus Corax First question I have: What came first? The Primarch or the Band? And yes there is a Band named Corvus Corax XD He is like Konrad but in Cool and less Edgy. I like his legion, his Design and this man is ONLY a man with a beard and Yes TTS, because of that I love him 9/10

3. Magnus Magnus is the reason I like Warhammer 40K. He was the very first Character I ever saw and is the reason I got into it. Also my very first Primarch Figure I build and painted. His Story, kinda tragic, his powers, really awesome and his wings are prettier than Sanguinius‘ Wings! (fight me on that if you want!) 9/10

2. Perturabo Something about him is just Fascinating. So much potential but gets always ignored by his Father, no wonder he got grumpy and Angry. He is the strongest and smartest of ALL primnarch but NO, Daddy prefers Rogal over him and I understand his displeasure very much. That man needs a hug. A BIG Hug! 9,5/10

1. Angron Angry boy is my number 1. I LOVE HIM!!! His tragic Backstory makes me wanna hug him, even though I know he would kill me. Used and Abused by his owners and later by his Brother Lorgar, Angron needs somebody who loves him. And I wanna give him All the love he deserves!! 10000/10 My Baby!!

[askmalal]

Is the Emporer an Avatar of yours? Could have fooled me if not.

I apologize to the Little Mortal who wrote this. My mortal scribe dictated my response and posted it... at which point Tumblr promptly buried it somewhere, where even I cannot find it... Perhaps it has gone to the upper heavens, perhaps it has fallen into Oblivion. And perhaps somewhere Nuffle is using it in a poorly constructed craft project.

So, I shall answer again.

I would like very much to answer in the affirmative. The delight I could take in such a thing. The way I would rub it into the faces of my "peers." But no. Unlike others, some of whom use this social media platform, I regret to tell you that I do not take credit for things have not done. That random blog down the street doesn't have its own collection of Gloriana class battleships, the one around the corner written by an "ordinary Imperial Guardsman" never "arm wrestled Ferrus Manus and won," and I regret to say that the Emperor is not mine.

(Scribe notes here that The Dark Father is in a snarky mood today, and apologizes on his behalf...)

The Emperor is, of course, not a being of his own making. A surfeit of the Blessed sacrificed themselves in order to create a being with the foresight to unite humanity and, I am sorry to say, "save the galaxy" from the forces of Chaos.

(Which would be fine, if Khorne and I weren't the only ones who represented marginally chaotic concepts in the modern era. But I digress...)

The point is that the Emperor is who he is entirely as a matter of the sacrifices of others and, subsequently, his arrogant denial of those responsibilities in order to elevate himself to godhead - something that was never intended for him - sort of soured the whole deal. It sounds like a delicious thing to do, destroying the Gods of Order from the inside, and by Ishtar's warm and bouncy boobies I'd love to claim I had something to do with that, but I certainly did not. At least not directly. Perhaps he read something, picked something up.

We did have a meeting at Molech. It was not fruitful.

Fortunately, my meeting with Horus absolutely was....

And then, of course, Horus absolutely cocked that up, too. Because the only one who could be more arrogant than a self-elevated Hittite perpetuual cosplaying as a god would of course be the one among his hundreds of children to demand that he be daddy's favorite.

My gift to the Emperor is not forgotten, however. Khorne gave his sons bloodlust beyond reason. Slaanesh tempted their base nature. Tzeentch gave them a taste for forbidden knowledge. Nurgle violated their purity of purpose.

Mine was nothing so fanciful. But when they were done, all I had to do was to whisper the word "Doubt."

Given the right push, even the most powerful of mortals will destroy themselves. Hell, four of my siblings prove that immortals are just as capable of it.

I thank you for your exceptional question, Little Mortal. And a blessing: you will not be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

-M.

[ruoyuart]

Sorry for the absence, guys, I've been bogged down with Chinese New Year and schoolwork. Here's the last sketch idea that won - Fulgrim versus Ferrus, in the style of Dio versus Jotaro.