#ferru won :')

[supercomputer-lizard]

Which primarch is the most fuckable?

Most of the people who have seen the other two polls for the traitor primarchs and loyalist primarchs probably already know who won both rounds. This is of the top three of each just because

If you don’t know, in most to least fuckable order, here:

The traitors: Magnus, Fulgrim, Horus, Konrad Cruze, Alpharious/Omegon, Mortarion, Lorgar and Perturabo (tied), and Angron

The loyalists: Sanguinius, Rowboat Girlyman, Vulkan, Jaghatai Khan, Leman Russ, Corvus Corax, The Lion, Rogal Dorn and Ferrus Manus (both tied for last place)

here is the link to one of those polls. Why one? Because it has the link to the other one

I also have one for the lost primarchs soooooooo. Here link

[kingwithpaintedfingers]

Could you tell me about your TTS continuation AU? It intrigues me. :)

Oh man, the original version of this post was going to be a play-by-play of everything that happens xDDDD But, uh, basically, it started back when TTS wasn't going to be cancelled, and it started with the question, "well, if one of the Custodes owns Magnus's soul and they're a couple now, and there are three [at the time] more Custodes characters and three more daemon primarchs who belong to one specific god...what if all three of them ended up with a Custodes who had won his soul—and his hearts?"

The premise has changed a little now, now only Mortarion is one in a game, but the premise is still basically "everyone gets a boyfriend (except for a few people who get girlfriends), everyone starts to heal from their traumas and get along, and eventually their family is reunited and the Emperor is able to safely get off the throne.

Mortarion ends up with Wamuudes, Fulgrim with Karstodes, Angron with Custodisi, Ferrus with Hammurabi, I think Roboute ends up with Yvraine, Jaghatai has an OC Eldar boyfriend, Corvus ends up with the two soldiers he met on that one planet I'm too lazy to look up the name of, and I think that's it??? Sanguinius was accidentslly brought back to life a long time ago, Horus gets pulled out of the Unmaterium, Konrad turns out to have been a Perpetual all along...

There are feasts, baths, calling each other out, gardens, arguments about etymology, a pun I still maintain is an absolute banger, and Vulkan hugs everyone at some point. There's also sex scenes and a seduction I need to slightly rewrite to conform to a new headcanon I picked up.

So yeah! I haven't written very much of it, because damn, it's a lot, but it was where I started writing fanfiction instead of daydreaming it.

[theemeraldwings]

Reblogging because my response has become too long to put in the replies:

I don't think many people view the traitor primarchs as irredeemable, and I think the number among people who are well-versed in Horus Heresy lore is even smaller. They are, from the beginning, tragic characters. They certainly have their damning characteristics (namely hypocrisy), but they aren't really presented as irredeemable--we even have explicit statements regarding redemption for two of them (Big E says Mortarion can be redeemed in Godblight, and he outright forgives Horus in The End and the Death Vol III). I don't entirely agree with your interpretations, however. I don't think any of them are irredeemable (at least, not due to their own actions), but I think they miss some key details.

For all Angron claimed to be standing against oppression, he spent over a century expanding the Emperor's (extremely oppressive) regime. There's no moral purity shit here, either--Angron is pretty open about how he hates serving the Emperor even as he reduces worlds to ash in his name. What you said about Mortarion also applies to Angron, because of the Butcher's Nails. He was denied the chance to die with his family on Nuceria, and for the remainder of his life before daemonhood, the one thing he wants to do is die. And then Lorgar takes that away from him.

Mortarion's fall is because, first and foremost, he cared about his sons. Typhus brought the legion to Nurgle's garden, and infected them with the Destroyer Plague. Mortarion fell to Nurgle because he wanted to end their pain. Mortion is also a hypocrite. Like Angron, for all his claims of hating tyranny, he still expanded a tyrant's domain for a century and a half. (Corvus Corax is also on this list, but this is about traitor primarchs, not loyalist)

Magnus' guilt is very hotly debated among the community, and both sides have a point. On the one hand, he did the best thing he could with the information he had available. On the other hand, he was incredibly cocky, and did not have a concept of restraint. He believed he was in control, and he was too confident in that belief. (Side note: I despise the troupe of super powers being a stand-in for being queer (or any minority of any kind, for that matter)).

Fulgrim never said "fuck it, I'll have fun". His fall to Slaanesh was driven by his belief that, after killing Ferrus Manus, he was irredeemable. He's an addict; he isn't trying to have fun, he's trying to forget reality.

Everybody agrees that Big E mishandled Lorgar, and that's the most favorable interpretation for him. His argument on why he isn't a god is literal abuser language ("If I was a god, I'd use my psychic powers to force you all to kneel before me, like this" before using his psychic powers to force all of the Word Bearers to kneel before him). And all this ignores the shit Kor Phaeron did to him.

Horus is the spoiled rich white boy of the primarchs. He didn't fall because he was lost because dad was doing everything for him beforehand, he fell because he saw a vision of the future where he wasn't given the credit he thought he deserved. And then, like anybody else who grew up being told the world would be at their feet, he lost it. There's other issues as well, such as taxes (Terra wanted to impose heavy tithes on newly conquered worlds, which Horus opposed because it would cause them to rebel), but "gee, maybe I'm not ready" was never an issue.

Alpharius and Omegon believed that they knew the Emperor's plans better than he did, and threw in their lot with the traitors because they thought that if the traitors won, it would mean the end for Chaos.

Perturabo is someone who chose to suffer in silence and hope things would magically change. He never complains, and then is shocked when things don't go his way. I'm fairly sure he's also the primarch that people find the most relatable.

Konrad Curze was certainly mentally ill, and he was certainly denied the help and support that he needed, but I don't think he was abused because of it. He's also the kind of person who thought that if you publicly lynched enough jaywalkers, crime would go down, and that the Emperor sending an assassin to kill him because he committed treason and genocide was vindication for his belief that any crime warrants being skinned alive as a punishment.

They may not be irredeemable, but their hands are fare from clean.

I love how much of warhammer 40k is clearly a bunch of white dudes sitting around, thinking up the worst shit imaginable and going "thank god that could never happen to me, the cishet white guy"

angron is a one for one depiction of slavery, yet is painted as the bad guy for wanting to stand against oppression

mortarion is disabled and constantly has his decisions taken away from him by able bodied people only to be seen as moody and uncooperative

magnus is gay or trans or both. literally a guy blamed for something he was born with that he cannot control and told you're bad if you explore this part of yourself. also you're illegal now

fulgrim was actively encouraged to pursue perfection, despite never being good enough for others. he pushed any personal pleasure aside for an uncaring crusade and then is demonized for saying "fuck it, I'll have fun"

lorgar. also known as "this is why you don't abuse your kids"

horus is the golden child who's sent out into the world by himself only to find out Gee, Maybe I'm Not Ready because good ol dad did everything for him then told him "figure it out lol"

alpharius omegon are the autistic kids who don't understand why pops is doing this, maybe we should do things a little different than "blood soaked crusade"

perturabo is the burnout middle kid who did everything to impress his father only to be told "that's what's expected of you" who then got mad since acting out was the only way he got attention

konrad curze has a mental disorder. and is abused because of it

all of these characters were so close to being some of the best representation for minorities we could get in media only for gw to eat shit right at the finish line because they can't commit to an actual story. and it's amazing just how little these writers understand that the things they depict are all real things that people suffer through every day, and are demonized for every single day, especially when we are told these characters are irredeemable and should be destroyed, no questions asked

[franchufeuillassier]

Fuck sascha, JAUME HAS BEATEN TIAFOE

[bellezzamortale]

ferru and roberto won their doubles match too yesterday and my heart is so full?

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

A theory on the Primarch Mirror-Pairings and figuring out the identity of the Lost Primarchs from that

So this theory as a whole is nothing new, and I have seen versions of it going around. However, as a fun thought exercise, I thought maybe if there are two able to match up, that could be a hint towards two two "mystery" ones. Generally when dealing with Chaos you never just get the thing you want - you usually get two, neither being exactly what you wished for but technically fitting the definition. Given how the Emperor "tricked" the Chaos Gods in cooperating (strong word for just saying "No Fuck Off when being presented with the bill), the Primarchs should be no exception with this.

For this we will start with the most obvious pairings, and then move on to the speculative bits. Overall we should get ten pairings, each themed around a thing one would need as a load bearing pillar of the empire.

Pairing One: Rogal Dorn and Peturabo. Infrastructure. Iron Warriors and Imperial Fists are probably the only two legions that are actively involved in building infrastructure. These two are the ones who even in peace times could have their place in the Imperium - just imagine construction crews of Astartes taming even the most dangerous deathworlds and turning them into habitable planets. Sadly, in their timeline, there is only war.

Pairing two, Roboute Guiliman and Horus. Logistical prowess, with the difference being that while the Ultramarines are superior at running a multi-system-empire, in terms of pure war logistics Horus is superior. The Lunar Wolves always won because they were good at fighting, stealth, speed, and anything - but because it is hard to lose when you got a fuckload of tanks and artillery backing you up and blasting the enemy to bits before you even get into close range.

Pairing three: The Lion and Alpharius. Secrets. Oh so many secrets. One is vey good at keeping them, the other at getting them. Both are defined by a paranoid streak that puts their own little club above everything in the universe, inculding the Empire they are a part of or the Chaos Gods respectively.

Most likely pair to do a loyality-swap in the future edition.

Pairing Four: Leman Russ and Angron. The "send them somewhere quick and brutal"-team. People tend to forget that lore detail, but given pre-nail Angron's palandin-equse abilities and personality, the War Dogs were initially designed as a rapid responder to help other legions. They were the cavallary coming in to save their friends in trouble by straight up murdering the enemy full-force. Sadly, the Nails in Angron's head had other plans.

Meanwhile the Space Wolves are there to get sent on allies should they pose a danger. They are the only legion that had combat experience against Astartes before the Heresy. Both would rush into combat with absolute savagery and brutality.

Pairing Five: Corvus Corax and Kondrad Curze. Role: being in your vents. Right now. These are the stealthy boys. Not much can be said here because the premise is quite simple, even if both legions draw entirely different conclusion on how to operate with their stealth.

The Raven Guard is more about surgical strikes from impossible positions, while the Night Lords are, well... more prone to evading the actual enemy while forcing a planet into compliance by sheer incomprehensible terror.

Pairing Six: The Khan and Mortarion. Movement. You wanna go somewhere and you definetly need to go get there? Either get there faster than anyone else, or just get there absolutely no matter what stands between you and the destination.

Pairing Seven: Sanguinius and Fulgrim. The potentially cultural icons of the Empire. Aside from both legions being some of the few that truly respect the arts, they are also both the legions with the most severe build-in mental illnesses. Both of them are a result of how "emotionally crippled" Astartes are by design when compared to regular beings. This probably deserves its own post.

---

This leaves us Ferrus Manus, Vulcan, Magnus, and Lorgar. It could make sense to put the first two into a category, but that would be the first pairing that would not follow the pattern of "loyalist vs. chaos" which by now has been established. Meanwhile Magnus and Lorgar do not really fit together either. Sure they both meddle with the warp, but that's something other Primarchs do too, even if to various degrees.

Assuming we put Vulcan and Ferrus Manus into the "Craftsmen" category, that must mean that the two Lost Primarchs might be mirrors to Magnus and Lorgar respectively. Alternatively one could put Magnus and Ferrus Manus into a combo themed around transhumanism, either by technology or psykic ability. This would fit with the established pattern.

Then the two lost would be mirrors of Volcan and Lorgar.

Since it is Lorgar in both cases, it would make sense given how out of his brothers the purge of the Lost shook him the most. In fact, the Emperor's lack of mercy in this case was probably the one thing that set the conditions for the heresy to happen. Him having a counterpart, probably a philosophical mind to bounce of his theologics, would make sense, and given how both within that theme would be more civilized than some of their brothers, they'd probably have some interesting contrast him.

Both would probably be the same in the way that they seek their salvation in something deemed superior to them. For the Word Bearers that was the Emperor. But who could it be for the Lost One? Maybe the Glorious Machine God? The Omnissiah? Given how the Word Bearers have a lot of cybernetic constructs fighting for them, despite that having little to do with their original theme, and Lorgar canonically having being close with one of the Lost, it is save to assume that Lost Legion One went HARD into tech - and probably got purged due to meddling with AI.

Vulcan meanwhile, while being a big guy with a big heart and some mad smithing skills he picked up at his core is about one thing: survival. He is a perpetual and just can't die, and under that theme his legions self-reliancy when it comes to weapons and other tech makes a lot of sense. The Salamanders are probably some of the toughest Astartes around, and they are very aware of it. Ironically that combined with the personality led to the highest casuality rates of any legion early on, as they would sacrifice themselves a lot to get civillians and guard out of the danger zone. Because who if not the toughest boys around should be the ones to rush head first into danger? It could also be that Perpetuals in general have an subconscious lower self-preservation-instinct, and that gets put into his Astartes as well - who sadly are NOT Perpetuals. They just get the brain of one.

So how would a mirror look like to this? Simple: survival through adaptation. A highly adaptive biology that with some bio-science adding it up could probably do everything from making them grow protective scales to getting gills. It could explain some of the weirder animal-themed chapters running around today.

They were probably purged because they went a bit too hard into "becoming their own species" by accident. Turns out when you are biological clay, changing one's sex is not exactly hard. So yeah, this is where the Lady Space Marines ended up - with the response of the Emperor being "Ew, girls are yucky - and also you are about to betray humanity as a whole by evolving away from it" followed by a purge.

Wait, doesn't this all sound familiar? OH RIGHT IT TOTALLY ADDS UP WITH MY PREVIOUS THEORY ON THE LOST PRIMARCHS.

Who could have known? It's almost like I had some thought put into it for a long ass time :>

[lightdancer1]

"THE FLESH IS WEAK!"

The monotonous cry echoed on the world of Tehezhan, which had had the ill-fortune to spurn the so-called Emperor of Mankind. Earthgov had, in the old days, been a parliamentary federation in alliance. These swollen monstrosities in clanking armor with their bionic hands and the colossal giant leading them were unexpected manifestations of the throneworld.

"THE FLESH IS WEAK!" Humanity, true humans, not these gigantic nightmarish things that should not be, had seen the terrifying power of the bombardment of the so-called X Legion, the inexorable destructive force of the overlord called Ferrus Manus.

The Imperium lied, it said the all too well known horrors of the Warp were not real, and as such it was humanity's gateway to doom. And yet here, forces with metal arms, inexorable power from the stars and from such concentrated bombardment that the state that said there were no Gods won its wars by Gods made manifest.

"THE FLESH IS WEAK!"

The door shattered and the towering overlord of the creatures, a brutally rugged giant with a scar-seamed face and gleaming metal hands that shone with an unholy red light, as if the blood it shed was illuminating it, stood before those within the building. It was another Warp-spawned horror, it had to be. Nothing else could be that size, could make them fall to their knees in terrified awe as the creature loomed over them, a sneer crossing its face.

"Now you know fear, mortals."

It moved with an uncannily fast pace for something like a small hill with iron hands.

When a soldier loses a limb, it is a tragedy. Soldiers are needed at peak efficiency, so they must undergoes the unthinkable - grafting metal to flesh. A horrific abomination, the mere process is often enough to shatter what is left of their mind. Then, there are the humans.

[the-sisters-library]

Somehow, I managed to skip Book 51: Born of Flame, the collection of Salamanders short stories. So I’m catching up on that one.

Here’s a Crusade-era Zoom holo meeting between Ferrus Manus, Mortarion, and Vulkan. Emps put Ferrus in charge this time, which Morty hates:

"Ferrus folded his arms, silver like flowing mercury, but did not bite at the obvious lure. 'Is your task over-difficult, brother? I had thought the natives of Barbarus to be of sterner stock.'

Mortarion's eyes narrowed and his grip on his massive scythe tightened. 'The Legion leaves death in its wake, brother! Come to the ice fields and see for yourself how war should be conducted.'

Unable to cool his molten core any longer, Ferrus snapped. 'Your ravages are already known to me, Mortarion. We must leave some of this world intact if it is to be of use afterwards. You and your kind may thrive in a toxic waste, but the settlers who follow us will not.'

'My kind? Your own Legion's progress is as slow and flawed as the machines they covet. What of the desert, is it won?'

'It is intact. Any warmonger with Legiones Astartes at his call can unleash destruction, but your tactics are extreme. One-Five-Four will not become a barren, lifeless rock under my charge.'

'Brothers...'

Both turned in mid-dispute to regard Vulkan. 'Our enemy is without, not within. We should reserve our anger for them and them alone. We each occupy three very different theatres of war. Different approaches are needed and each of us must be the judge of that. Our father made us generals, and generals must be allowed to lead.'...."

[relax-and-read-on]

who would be the first to get brutally murdered if the primarchs ever played the most treacherous game known to men... UNO?

This. This is why I run this stupid blog.

The primarch, but they are playing Uno and shit is about to go DOWN.

Horus: Cheat. Cheat like a motherfucker. He will hit you with a pick 4 and a smile and you will want to strangle his smug ass.

Mortarion: Try to keep his cool. It's no working very well. Is wondering if he should poison whoever suggested playing the gar in the first place.

Leman: colorblind. No one is helping him. Gets extremely angry and probably throw his card unto the table at some point, before trying to strangle someone, probably Magnus.

Sanguinius: He is THIS fucking close to loosing it. Eventually, Horus hit him with another +4 and he just. Lunge at him in a berserker rage.

Magnus: He might be reading everyone's mind, it does not HELP if he only get shit cards!!! Why is he having such horrible lucks??? Get into a fiat fight with Leman over cheating (it was Horus fault).

Angron: Play for exactly 5 round, then curse everyone, violently throw his cards at the others and storm out.

Lorgar: Got hit in the face by Angron cards and is now bleeding a bit. Actually like cards game!!! But end up the Worst Looser.

Vulkan: Heroically try to stop berserker Sanguinius, get caught in the fray and is now bleeding with Lorgar. He wanted to watch movies for family night.... :(

Fulgrim: He's trying to strategise and count the cards but it make NO SENSE?!? Realise that someone is cheating and has a meltdown at the table.

Ferrus: was actually doing really well, but drag a screaming/crying Fulgrim off the table. He didn't even like playing.

Roboute: End up abandoning the game to treat Lorgar and Vulkan who are bleeding everywhere. Remind himself to burn the monopoly board.

Perturabo: he wanted to play Jenga, but his game was vetoed. He's being one of the worst player but bitterly insist on playing.

Corvus: She used her power to dip after a few rounds, when it was clear things were going to end up in a blood bath.

Konrad: Did not know how to play Uno. Did not listen to the rules. Tried to eat the card. Got his Very First Pick 4, and screamed about injustice and tried to scalp that person. Is now banned from playing Uno.

Jaghatai: He was the one who one who gave Konrad a +4, and was badly spooked at the idea of loosing his hairs. Excused himself shortly after and went to hang out with Angron and Corvus.

Lion: Prolong eye contact. No extra word. Every movement is precise. No extra emotions. But every time someone use a card against him... He make a mental note to Exact Revenge at a later date.

Rogal: He was the one who vetoed Jenga. Is finding this game incredibly dull and trying to argue the meaning of it.

Alpharius Omegon: The ones who suggested playing in the first place, mostly to watch the world burn. They won.

[askrobouteguilliman40k]

Which one win the baby oil covered flex-off? I bet it was Russ. Or Ferrus. Never Magnus though, the nerd.

"Magnus won, Russ was to hairy to oil properly and Freuss to ridged."

"Seriously, for a Nerd, Magnus was ripped."

[zombie-techpriest]

My Primarch Top List

This is just my Personal Opinion!!

From least to favorite.

18. Lorgar   I can‘t say that his story isn‘t interessting, BUT I have a BIG Problem with Religious Fanatics and because, he is an Asshole. Thanks Lorgar, you ruined the Imperium (Sort of) -10/10

17. Mortarion Simple Problem: I can‘t stand Body odor or bad smells in general and he is the embodiment of bad smell and everything disgusting. His Character… no...Just no… But like with Lorgar, his lore is interessting and the design kinda cool but NO!!! Sorry Morti but you STINK!! 0/10

16. Lion El‘Johnson Just...boring!! He is the one I always keep forgetting that he exist in the First place! I like his legions, I mostly like Asmodai that guy is so free of all humor, he is Funny. But no chance for Lion, he is boring. 1/10

15. Konrad Curze That man is my Teenage years: Cringy, Egdy and greasy hair and because he reminds me too much about Cringy Edgelords I can‘t stand him. Its the point of Edgy that stops being cool and just being Cringe. That whole Vampire thing is meh..no. Not anymore. My 15 Year old Self would have LOVED him, but now, doubled in age, he is just Cringe. 1/10

14. Horus Same as with Lion, he is just BORING!!! Even his Design is Boring! A bit Higher because, I cant forget a guy as important to the plot as Horus and I like the FAN made Stuff about him and Sanguinius. 3/10

13. Alpharius/Omegon Cool idea, not too many informations about them. I wish there would be more. But the Idea is great XD Want more 5/10

12. Rogal Dorn Well since „If the emperor had a text to Speech Device“ I like him more, but Sorry, I‘m Team Perturabo, so yeah. Also I Dislike his colors and these Armors his Sons are wearing. 5/10

11. Leman Russ The Wolf, the Space Corgy, the Emperors personal Lapdog and Trashman who does everything without asking too many questions…I have no problems with Leman BUT a bit more Brain would work Wonders…Still, I like the idea and I like wolves.6/10

10. Jaghatai Khan Design, Hairstyle, Fighting style, BEARD!! Everything Check! Cool dude, I like a man with a nice beard XD Every Primarch should have a beard! (Yes Fulgrim too!) 7/10

9. Ferrus Manus I like nearly everything about him. Many people say he isn‘t interessting, but hey, he died pretty Early before the real shit hits the fan, so imagine what COULD have been with him around longer. Also he is kinda the Techpriest version of a Primarch and...well, I love Techpriests. Also, nobody can tell me, Fulgrim cloned him to play chess with him. We all know whats really going on. 7/10

8. Fulgrim Close to his best buddy is Fulgrim, the pretty one. To be honest, I like his Demonform more than his human Form and also Slaneesh is my Favorite Chaos god, thats mostly why Fully is so high up here^^ Storys and Design is almost Aways good here, so I don‘t wanna repeat myself too often. 7/10

7. Roboute Still unsure how to pronounce his last name, So I just call him Rob, or Captain America, because thats who he reminds me of (Guess it was on Purpose) This spot in my list is Less about him and more about the wonderful, the best, the grumpiest but still so Awesome CHAPTERMASTER!!!! Seriously Marneus Calgar is a 10/10 while Roboute is a 7/10. 

 6. Vulkan Everybody loves Vulkan. The Teddybear of the group, the big strong one with the soft heart. That being said, I know he can be badass and I wanna see/read even more Badass Stuff. And he won my heart as he smashed Konrad with his hammer XD 8/10

5. Sanguinius Angelboy was always the prettier one, between him and Fulgrim in my eyes. Also I love the pure Irony he embodys by looking like an Angel, a religious figure in a time that forbids religion and his wings are part of a Mutation, but Mutants are hunted down. Love me a good Irony XD Also his Story is pretty impressive, his relationship to Horus made it all even more tragic and I love to draw him, so….8/10

4. Corvus Corax First question I have: What came first? The Primarch or the Band? And yes there is a Band named Corvus Corax XD He is like Konrad but in Cool and less Edgy. I like his legion, his Design and this man is ONLY a man with a beard and Yes TTS, because of that I love him 9/10

3. Magnus Magnus is the reason I like Warhammer 40K. He was the very first Character I ever saw and is the reason I got into it. Also my very first Primarch Figure I build and painted. His Story, kinda tragic, his powers, really awesome and his wings are prettier than Sanguinius‘ Wings! (fight me on that if you want!) 9/10

2. Perturabo Something about him is just Fascinating. So much potential but gets always ignored by his Father, no wonder he got grumpy and Angry. He is the strongest and smartest of ALL primnarch but NO, Daddy prefers Rogal over him and I understand his displeasure very much. That man needs a hug. A BIG Hug! 9,5/10

1. Angron Angry boy is my number 1. I LOVE HIM!!! His tragic Backstory makes me wanna hug him, even though I know he would kill me. Used and Abused by his owners and later by his Brother Lorgar, Angron needs somebody who loves him. And I wanna give him All the love he deserves!! 10000/10 My Baby!!

[askmalal]

Is the Emporer an Avatar of yours? Could have fooled me if not.

I apologize to the Little Mortal who wrote this. My mortal scribe dictated my response and posted it... at which point Tumblr promptly buried it somewhere, where even I cannot find it... Perhaps it has gone to the upper heavens, perhaps it has fallen into Oblivion. And perhaps somewhere Nuffle is using it in a poorly constructed craft project.

So, I shall answer again.

I would like very much to answer in the affirmative. The delight I could take in such a thing. The way I would rub it into the faces of my "peers." But no. Unlike others, some of whom use this social media platform, I regret to tell you that I do not take credit for things have not done. That random blog down the street doesn't have its own collection of Gloriana class battleships, the one around the corner written by an "ordinary Imperial Guardsman" never "arm wrestled Ferrus Manus and won," and I regret to say that the Emperor is not mine.

(Scribe notes here that The Dark Father is in a snarky mood today, and apologizes on his behalf...)

The Emperor is, of course, not a being of his own making. A surfeit of the Blessed sacrificed themselves in order to create a being with the foresight to unite humanity and, I am sorry to say, "save the galaxy" from the forces of Chaos.

(Which would be fine, if Khorne and I weren't the only ones who represented marginally chaotic concepts in the modern era. But I digress...)

The point is that the Emperor is who he is entirely as a matter of the sacrifices of others and, subsequently, his arrogant denial of those responsibilities in order to elevate himself to godhead - something that was never intended for him - sort of soured the whole deal. It sounds like a delicious thing to do, destroying the Gods of Order from the inside, and by Ishtar's warm and bouncy boobies I'd love to claim I had something to do with that, but I certainly did not. At least not directly. Perhaps he read something, picked something up.

We did have a meeting at Molech. It was not fruitful.

Fortunately, my meeting with Horus absolutely was....

And then, of course, Horus absolutely cocked that up, too. Because the only one who could be more arrogant than a self-elevated Hittite perpetuual cosplaying as a god would of course be the one among his hundreds of children to demand that he be daddy's favorite.

My gift to the Emperor is not forgotten, however. Khorne gave his sons bloodlust beyond reason. Slaanesh tempted their base nature. Tzeentch gave them a taste for forbidden knowledge. Nurgle violated their purity of purpose.

Mine was nothing so fanciful. But when they were done, all I had to do was to whisper the word "Doubt."

Given the right push, even the most powerful of mortals will destroy themselves. Hell, four of my siblings prove that immortals are just as capable of it.

I thank you for your exceptional question, Little Mortal. And a blessing: you will not be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

-M.

[asklordcaptaincastronova]

I posted 2,877 times in 2022

That's 790 more posts than 2021!

1,795 posts created (62%)

1,082 posts reblogged (38%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@particularcustodian

@wayward40k

@treasures-and-beauty

@asklordcaptaincastronova

@askrobouteguilliman40k

I tagged 1,232 of my posts in 2022

#ooc - 409 posts

#watkyn - 134 posts

#rogue trader - 117 posts

#honoria - 80 posts

#wayward40k - 75 posts

#anastasia - 61 posts

#hessman - 57 posts

#i see no way this could lead to anything bad happening ever - 25 posts

#elizabeth - 13 posts

#cyborg angst - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 125 characters

#honoria was supposed to be a woodehousian character a la watkyn good at spending money and being out of touch and little else

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

(Going through my background stuff and being reminded that Roderick held the warrant for a good *130 years* if you want to know how utterly blacklisted House Castronova was that the Current Lord Captain was ~30 when he got the title meaning a good century passed between the house war ending and them having any new scions.)

13 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#4

Ferrus Armoured Recovery Vehicle/Engineering Vehicle

(See I was thinking of a dreadnought for Reasons)

14 notes - Posted December 7, 2022

#3

(@wayward40k, for some reason tumblr isn’t letting me reblog that post? so continuing here I guess. https://www.tumblr.com/wayward40k/702764621819510784/i-like-the-view?source=share )

He decides to end his staring contest with the floor, lacking eyes it would have won eventually. Carefully, he moved his eye to look into one of hers. “Why thank you my lady. I wasn’t sure if you had ever been to something like... this. Before.”

Be very careful. Very careful. “I must say you’re looking less. Wan. Than you were earlier.”

16 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#2

“Rogue trader vessel please be advised you are flying into a restricted zone. The planet of Zaer 7 is under quarantine by order of Chapter Master Darius, Revenants of the XIVth.” A bored sounding comms operator states.

Space Marines. Great. Anything space marines found quarentineable was obviously not worth the risk of figuring out what it was.

"Acknowledged, Noble Astartes, " his own comms operator replied. Castronova, flicked a switch on his throne. "Be advised there have been corsair sightings in this area. Cheerio, you lads have fun down there."

25 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

👫  for  a  reunion  starter

[[ :3c ]]

Another catering order for the Laurelletes, and this time there needed to be roe and shellfish. He loved return customers and hopefully this time there would be no kidnapping plots, assassination plots, or other forms of chicanery. Let alone Uninvited Guests, the Laurelletes had no dealings with Xenos as far as he knew.

He'd make sure to mingle this time, as he flew the gun cutter in, wondering what the occasion could be this time, doubtlessly the heiress had been married off by now, maybe this was the empty nest party, his mother had thrown those.

32 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hettiebridges]

From the little I know about Ferrus Manus, yeah I can see it :]

I’ll get you next time, Fulgrim… the autism won out today though :3

uhh tags @wolf-tail and I don’t know if the rest of my mutuals know warhammer so this is open :3

Hmmmmm yeah ok i guess I can kinda see it

WHAT

@qcontinuumumum @candyswirls @soosmain @soosmain @moociaoafterdark

[ruoyuart]

Sorry for the absence, guys, I've been bogged down with Chinese New Year and schoolwork. Here's the last sketch idea that won - Fulgrim versus Ferrus, in the style of Dio versus Jotaro.

[50shadesofmittens]

Eqippable Ally AU

SO during my recent conversation with coaxionunlimited I got a lot of my vague AU’s fleshed out. As in, I finally put down to words some of the insane ideas I’ve had bouncing around my head for ages now.

Here’s the Equippable Ally AU, the first one we talked about and one of the longest

More under the cut, ‘cause this gonna be LONG

So to start, ideas of each Primarch in this AU

Like Corvus winding up Equippable Ally with Sly Marbo bc why not and also Marbo equipped with a Primarch-powered weapon is SCARY

ALSO Ferrus Manus still alive kinda equipping Kitten during a moment of High Tension when Magnus for whatever reason can’t be the equippable ally- cue Magnus jealousy even given full understanding of the intense circumstances

And possibly the first thing Fulgrim does once somebody gets his soul free of the paining and his body back from the daemon inhabiting it is become an Equippable Ally to one of the Space Marines in the area- proving that he’s on the good guys side for real but also that’s he’s willing to let someone else take control of it means getting better results, and maybe also that he’s traumatized to the point where he can’t make very good decisions for himself but he recognizes this flaw and is willing to take measures to work around/through it

Also Mittens makes a powerful pair because the two can work together directly in combat- Kitten taking over the physical aspects while Magnus handles all the magical ones working in the battle- and as the two learn to work together they combine their strengths into more powerful combos

Btw I like to imagine all the Primarchs have In Love With Your Carnage literally hardwired into their DNA to some degree, which affects the crack pairings I had for the Equippable Ally AU

Like apart from Mittens, you have:

Corvus and Sly Marbo (which the Void Dragon approves heavily of as an example of Rescue Romance)

Russ and Ygrainne (ie the badass Eldar who cannon thinks is Guilliman’s girlfriend- in this AU they met in Commoragh’s fighting pits and now have UST from both considering the other inferior while also being able to hold their own against each other)

Dorn has Karstodes (and that one is explicitly They Won’t because it’s based on Dorn being unable to deny that Karstodes is a very good fighter and he finds his technique and strength in battle arousing while hating his personality, and Karstodes being an Abhorrent Admirer)

Then comes the mechanics behind the Equippable Ally bit, ie How It Works

The Primarch literally turns into a sword of some kind

Like all swords are based on the Emperors flaming sword, but some minor details causing differences between them

As for the power, there’s three ways this could work

One; swords have energy blasts, a la Zelda or Bleach. The power behind these blasts is roughly 3-12 times the amount of power a Primarch would put into the same kind of swing if it was used by his own hands

Two: if the sword can be incorporated into any other battle style, the sword will glow, possibly cause the person wielding it to glow, and then the attack will have the same power as though the Primarch performed it but with 1.5-8 times the power the Primarch would’ve had

Three- Primarch can use his Psyker powers within the sword by using the weirder as a conduit. This has a bonus of 2-10 times its usual power, but the caveat is that the weirder cannot be mind-controlled and has the ability to drop the sword at any time, meaning that the Primarch can’t force someone to be a conduit for a spell they don’t want to be part of

A Primarch-as-weapon weapon is FAR more powerful than the Primarchs-as-people are

IE the weapon they turn into can do more damage than a Primarchs alone can

That’s why any Primarchs would agree to it- the end result is more powerful than what they could create alone

Biggest downside is that using that power is hard- using it effectively is double hard

See, the power modifier the wielder gets is tied to the Primarchs ability to do that any specific move. Throw a knife while holding Konrad-sword is much more powerful than throwing a knife while holding say Sanguinius sword, because the former can throw knives much better than the latter. Of course being Primarchs they’re pretty good at anything- this is more of a way to note that some Primarchs will supply bigger bonuses than others

The other thing- and this is the big one- is that the Primarch cannot guide or directly control the movements of the weirder, and the overall strength of an attack is reflected by if the WIELDER’s exact actions were taken by a Primarch- so if someone swings a Primarch sword with horrific form, it’ll have a lot of force but if they would’ve dropped a normal sword with a move like that, they’ll drop the Primarch sword. What’s more the power output increase adds even more destabilization because people really arent naturally good at handling more power than they’re used to- kickback is still a thing, and even with the defenses of a Primarch being added, Primarchs also have enhanced pain tolerance, so what a Primarch might consider mild soreness will be shocking and difficult to handle for a normal person experiencing the same thing

TLDR; it takes a lot of skill to handle Primarch Weapons well. Hence why it’s pretty useless unless the Primarch has someone he trusts who understands him very well and can fight on or close to his level

It’s like handing a civilian an automatic gun- they theoretically have the ability to use it just fine, they know how to press the trigger and point away from themselves, but they still aren’t fully qualified to use it

Then there’s a really stupid scene with Magnus and Russ throwing a limitless supply of soft silk shoes at each other at 400km/hr, Thanks to magic arbitrary rules and/or the bs of a powerful Mars dragon or a god

So I figure this might be a good time to explain where my own Equippable Ally AU was going- it was largely based on fairy-tales and the parody and exploitation thereof

Like the basic idea was that the Void Dragon A) is alive B) has a grudge against Emps and C) is still/also very much into medieval fairytales like the one of Saint George, largely because Emps was obsessed with them when he fought it

Only the dragon doesn’t really ‘get’ gender so it decides that the traditional fairytale setting where a prince or a princess is trapped and must be freed/rescued by their One True Love is a good narratively-sound way to seek Revenge- it casts the Primarchs as the “princesses” of the tale

Mainly Ferrus Manus, who has been trapped with the dragon for 10,000 years while they both waited for someone to try to rescue him, not knowing that almost all of the Galaxy thinks he’s dead. This has given the dragon much time to play dress up with Ferrus

So when the dragon learns of the Equippable Ally thing, it decides “Ah HA! This is how I identify the One True Love who is to try to rescue the children of my enemy! My greatest threat (according to all the tropes I know)!”

Only there’s more than one Equippable Ally bond, so the dragon doesn’t know which one is, narratively speaking, the Hero/Heroine.

So it decides to make all the people bonded to a Primarch in this manner fight to the death, and the winner will obviously be the Protagonist that the dragon seeks

(I realize I failed to mention this, but the dragon has cast Emps in the role of Good King whose Kingdom is threatened and who must rely on the Hero/Heroine to save the day. This is in fact the way the Dragon seeks revenge- it believes the narrative will not LET the Emperor face it, so when it defeats the new protagonist it will have won)

(The void dragon is kinda insane and believes fairy tale logic is an actual force of nature)

Anyways, the dragon decides the best way to force the Potential Protagonists to fight is to hold their True Loves hostage- good thing it’s got millennia of practice keeping Ferrus from running away

And both Russ and Magnus wind up kidnapped for this tournament.

And the dragon doesn’t just believe in fairy tales, no it wants these battles to LOOK heroic and fairy tale like.

So it dresses all the Primarchs in medieval dresses (it’s other reason for doing this is that it enjoyed playing dress up with Ferrus and would like to try with his brothers now)

When the “tournament” goes down all the Primarchs are put on display so their “true loves” can be reminded what’s at stake

Which just means Magnus and Russ see each other and try to kill each other. The Void Dragon has them separated and magic blocked to avoid this.

The Void Dragon doesn’t want Magnus and Russ killing each other in the Equippable Ally AU bc it’s all like “No no no, you two are Princesses, your heroic knights are the ones meant to be proving themselves and fighting to the death, your role is to be the pretty trophy they win, this is not how the story goes. The HERO is the one who proves their strength, the love interest can’t die in a fratricidal duel while the Hero is fighting for his life- that would be an awful story! Here just- just stay separate, you two, at least until the tournament is over”

Thing is, at least one of the kidnapped Primarchs wanted to get out of the dress he’s in, and discovered that the dresses are self-repairing, and any pieces of the outfit lost or thrown away will be replaced instantly

Magnus and Russ take this to mean “we have infinite ammo to throw at each other”

They start with jewelry bc it’s hard and might theoretically do a tiny scratch of damage if thrown fast enough, but that gets taken away. Then they find that the shoes, which are fabric and soft, cannot do damage and do not get taken away when thrown

So Magnus and Russ ignore the entire death match going on around them to throw shoes at each other at 500 km/hr, in the futile hope that it will do some damage to the other

The entire thing has been me getting the idea for like a 30-sec scene animation, but as you can see it has WAY too much backstory behind it

I can’t remember if I started with Fairy Tale parodies combining with Equippable Ally trope, or if I just wanted Magnus and Russ to throw shoes at each other and the rest built itself around that

(Also Also, Russ and Magnus eventually do get tired of not getting anywhere, and Corvus celebrates their seeing reason and stopping their pointless (albeit commendable on Russ’ part) attempts at homicide with weapons that clearly cannot kill the other

Then Dorn points out the shoes could theoretically be used to kill a Primarch if you literally smothered a Primarch in shoes so that he had no access to air and then kept him there for the full three standard years it would take for him to suffocate.

Russ and Magnus immediately begin throwing shoes again)

(Corvus Facepalms)