#ferenofnopewood

[surely-sims]

Thank you for the treats! The game was so much fun. I love Clue, and I loved this event. The way your blog is set up is gorgeous (and works so well with this kind of treasure hunt game!), the music perfectly set the mood, the writing was great...I really had SUCH a good time. Thank you so, so much for organizing this. It must have been a lot of work!

Thank you so much for playing it!! I think it took all my graphic design juice out of me for the next month hahaha 💗💗💗

[simstomaggie]

Thank you for the Treat! It's so cool. I had no idea I needed it, but my 1890s household NEEDED IT.

hahaha you're so welcome!

i think it makes that part of the house a little more alive ;)

[lizzychanstuffss]

May I... may I touch you?

Astartion x durge!reader

thank you @ferenofnopewood (also for being my beta reader!) for the inspo for this. We both went feral talking about this.

Synopsis: a simple rewrite of the Act 2 romance scene with durge and Astarion. Basically, this is just extra soft and I imagine it would be cute if he remembered you hugging him in the confession scene. Also this is totally my headcanon for my own durge but don't mind that

Of course as always spoilers for act 2!

Your head spun with bile and wrath, unable to sleep it off as you normally would try to do. But no matter what you did nothing seemed to calm the thundering headache forming at the edges of your mind. So without much other choice, you stood up. Your companions were blissfully sleeping while you wrestled with unseen demons. Once you got up you could see Astarion from across the still burning fire; his beauty was always apparent even when he was at rest. 

But your silent admiration was rudely interrupted by a foul-sounding goblin butler.

"He is so afraid. So, so afraid of everyone besides you who he ought to fear the most." His words were clearly said with the intention of shaking your resolve. "You could do so much better." The goblins' tone disgusted you, how he could say such things and yet you know they rang true in Astarion’s own mind, he was so worried you could do better than some runaway vampire spawn. But these thoughts were clouding your judgment even more than the urge was and with that you shook your head as the thoughts faded to the background.

"Get away from him." The bile and raw, murderous intent that had been clawing at your insides broke out in a growl. But seemingly unimpeded by your defense he playfully hopped over Astarion, the thought of using your urge to protect him might not be all that bad of an idea. 

Was he taunting you? It was a thought that crossed your mind and passed as he spoke again.

"I won't lay so much as a talon on him! I wouldn't rob you of that delight. Your clever mind is penning up a tragedy as we speak. Your repressed urge yearns to kill." He appraises a moment before continuing "And kill you will. Tonight, the moment you close your eyes, your favorite person will be brutalized." The words were a shock to your system. You couldn't let that happen not to him, not ever. The thought alone made you want to vomit that your own body would even consider it.

"I-I love him, No, I can't be" You couldn’t imagine losing no not him. He’s been the only person who didn’t judge, didn’t blame you, no matter how bad it got. You couldn’t bear to—

"We all kill what we love most, in time" 

You choked back a sob.

"You like him for more than his looks, but he will never believe that. Why not make him a pretty corpse?" Your hands started to twitch as you let yourself briefly indulge in the fantasy of wrapping them around the wretched creature’s neck. If he really meant to taunt you into committing a murder he was certainly getting close to achieving that goal.

"He must live....I haven't yet told him how I truly feel about him." The felt less like a defense against the butlers goading and more like a reminder to yourself. What you were truly trying to achieve here. You have promised to protect Astarion. From Cazador, from yourself, it didn’t matter. And it was a promise you would never break…at least you hoped.

"Why not whisper it while you twist a knife? Or have a love confession be the final words between you? It is my duty to ensure you are making the right decisions, Master." He lets out a sigh mimicking a father in its nature. "There was much..disappointment at your reluctance to kill the little Moonmaiden. You could kill this one deliberately. I'm sure it will be considered a great show of good will. The tithe could still be yours." There it was again, the offer, the temptation…what you assumed was to be considered one. You still had no idea what this so-called tithe even could be; but you were certain you wanted nothing to do with it if it required such a foul murder.

"I will save him, whatever it takes."

"I do not doubt you will act with the decorum befitting one of your rank. Good night." And with that the butler was finally gone leaving you with a choice you had already made prior. Taking the initiative and kneeling besides Astarion you attempted to wake him. But as you went to reach for his shoulder your hand paused of it’s own violation, it itched to wrap itself around his throat and ruin him. You would not allow it, a battle against your own mind was something you had gotten accustomed to on this journey thus far and so once you were able to regain composure you went to wake him but he made quicker work of it then you could, questioning whether or not he was actually in a trance at all tonight.

"Well, hello. Looking for a cuddle?" he said, flirtatious as ever even in such a trying time for yourself. Although you were sure the look on your face gave way to his next set of words. "Although you don't look entirely...yourself. What's going on in that head of yours?"

That question was one you had to think about how to answer, and quickly. "Listen, now isn't the time...I need to protect you." You tried your best to convey the urgency of your situation as the headache overtook you again.

"All right, talk quickly, then." He seemed concerned, but there was something unsure about his expression as well. 

"I'm going to kill the person I most care about: you." 

You took a breath, it was ragged and barely enough to push the headache down for the moment, as you used the brief moment of clarity to gauge what Astarion’s reaction. 

"Unless you can stop me." A faint glimmer of hope mingled with your voice as you practically pleaded with him. Astarion was a capable enough fighter, surely stopping you would be an easy enough feat.

"How flattering, And disturbing" he smiled "You could have talked to me before things got murderously bad, you know. We are technically in this together." He was using sass to cover nerves that you couldn’t help but notice. It was so like him even in the face of danger "It certainly puts the death of dear, sweet Alfira into some perspective." Those were the last words you heard before your vision blurred and your head grew into a dizzy blur and you fainted.

But when you awoke you were not in control, it was like watching from a window all you could do was try and tap on the glass. You tried your best to resist hurting him…although you realized quite quickly you were bound by your hands and feet. It gave you some relief to know that you could do little to rebel in this state. 

"This thing won't have you. It won't win." You hoped those words were true. You tried your best to resist again expressing understanding. Instead your body reacts with a will of its own, it tried to bite at him. Which would have almost been funny any other time but now…now all you wanted to do was scream out in frustration.

"Ah ah ah! We ask before we bite.” He took this better than you expected, with a sigh he spoke again "You're cute, you know. In another life we might have been friends." Those words felt flippant in the moment, but you could tell there was an underlying sadness to them. If you’d been of your right mind you would have tried to comfort him. But comforting anyone was beyond you at the moment. All you could do was fight against your binding and your urge as it drove you to struggle against the bindings the kept you from hurting anyone, including yourself.

"Easy now, darling, You've got this. And I've got you." Those words gave you a strange comfort and a boost of determination. Feeling another wave of the urge you tried your best to resist and this time managed to express a sliver of thankfulness for his words.

"You'd do the same to me. Now just relax - dawn isn't far off." He wasn't wrong about that, as much as it was hard to admit he knew you better than you'd like to admit at times. The night passed on and without any bloodshed, a mercy from the gods. You once again returned to your mind, scared and exhausted.

Then, almost on cue, Astarion came to free you from your bindings. He sat in front of you, and a look of embarrassment crept onto your face as he spoke.

"I felt bad for the bard, seeing you like that. Poor Alfira never stood a chance, did she?" It wasn't really a question even if he posed it as one because the answer was clear as day. "Now that you're back with us," he paused, "We need to have a talk."

You had dreaded this moment but he was right. You needed to talk about this whether you wanted to or not. You sighed before trying to speak, but the words ended up getting caught in your throat. Suddenly you realized there were tears falling down your cheeks. You were unable to hold it back any longer. Any sort of strong front you had put on up unto this point faded in an instant and you were sat in front of him sobbing.

Concern formed on the man's face and he adjusted himself to get a little closer before asking "May I....may I touch you?" His words were gentle and meant to be calming - although almost anything said in his voice was calming. You gave him a nod. You weren't sure what he was going to do exactly but when he gently wrapped his around your shaking body in a similar fashion to how you had hugged him a few nights prior. Those tears started to flow even more. Nestling your head in the crook of his neck, tears wetted his rather flowy camp shirt.

"Sh, sh, you can let it all out." Those words caused the tears to flow even harder. Had you really been holding in all of this for so long? You didn't know. All you did know was that you really needed this: A gentle comfort from someone you loved so deeply as him. After a moment, he tentatively stroked your hair. Although you couldn’t help but wonder if his hesitation was because he wasn’t sure how to actually comfort someone or if he just didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. It didn’t really matter all that much, you didn’t care, you appreciated that he even tried in the first place.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, him just stroking your hair and holding you while you let out all the tears you needed to get out. By the time you could finally talk again your eyes were red and puffy, but he would never say a thing about it. As you removed yourself from his body, but only enough so you could get a look at his face he instinctively raised a hand up to caress your cheek before stopping but your answered his silent question by leaning into it. He wiped away some of your tears before gently running his thumb over your cheek. It was a soft gesture and much needed, his touch was welcome in that moment.

"So then, are you ready to talk now, or do you need to stain my shirt more first?" he joked. A small chuckle made its way across your lips, and a smile found its way to his lips as well.

"I suppose I am...I know I owe you an explanation" you sighed.

"You don't owe me anything” he corrected  “But I would like an explanation." 

You gave him a nod. He was right, of course. But considering you did almost kill him, explaining seemed like the least you could do.

You told him everything about “the dark urge” as you had taken to calling it. Well, everything you could remember. He sat there and listened patiently. But his face gave way to no emotion, no emotion, no fear just…..understanding.

Once you finished explaining, he replied, "You are not alone in this - none of us are. We can even compare notes if you like." His comforting words made you feel like a monster, it was refreshing. 

You looked his face over, before you leaned into his hand again, closing your eyes as sadness began to overtake you. "You know you're allowed to hate me for this...I know I would" Your self-loathing rearing its ugly head, you couldn't help it; as much as his comfort was nice to hear the fact of the matter was you felt like a monster. Just some attack dog meant only to destroy everything and anything in your path.

"I don't hate you..because this," he made sure you kept eye contact during these words, his gaze was intense fully focused on you in this moment "This is not you" The words rang through you, and you wanted more than anything for that to be true…but it was hard to believe when killing just felt so natural to indulge in and it was just so easy to let the urge do the work. But in this moment you had to take him at his word; because if you didn't you were sure you were going to start sobbing again.

He pressed his forehead to yours before speaking again "Whatever this is though, you will get through it. And I will be here to make sure you do." A promise you hoped would be true.

[nuttyshell]

@ferenofnopewood

"Why do so many action characters wear high heels?"

While you can do some badass tricks while rocking stiletto heels, they probably wouldn't be the first pair of shoes I'd throw on to go fight crime!

Find me on Patreon and YouTube!

[chrismerle]

@ferenofnopewood booped so much you killed the activity feed

[fierceawakening]

Re: The AO3 thing: I'm seeing a whole bunch of words that aren't really Actually Saying Anything. To me, it looks like "racism is a problem in fandom and I'm not sure how to fix it but I don't wanna admit that I'm not sure how to fix it so I'm gonna use as much technobabble as possible to obfuscate the fact that I don't actually have a plan, while simultaneously urging people to Do Something About The Problem."

That’s what I’m getting out of it too.

“Oh, and anyone who points out that I haven’t made a suggestion is WhiteFragile(tm)!”

[omgthatdress]

Kim's dress honestly reminded me of some of the oldschool drag looks I've seen. The super exaggerated silhouette, the water effect, etc. I really liked it, even though I usually can't stand her.

yes! I hate to say it but her dress is actually.... artistic.

[theelitistpirate]

@ferenofnopewood credit for the excellent tags 👌

[norsesuggestions]

The Statue Brantingmonumentet

ferenofnopewood replied to your post “OMG Carl Johan Eldh who made that statue of Strindberg as Loki in...”

Yes show us

I shall.

firstly i want it to be clear that the socialdemocratic party of sweden really were, and is, a democratic party. They were democratic socialist, and they wanted all to know it. and they were terrified of communism, because they feared that of sweden became a communist nation, we would be forced annexed into the soviet union (look up a historical map of the soviet union and were sweden is located to understand why this were a legit fear).

furthermore many people fled from the soviet union too sweden, once again because of that we are so close to eachother geograpical sense. therefore sweden state and general pupblic were very very aware of the horrific things going on in the soviet union. the soviet unionen were literally just across the baltic sea during those days.

i wanted say this disclaimer so that you, the reader, might to understand how it therefore is FASCINATING that the socialdemocratic party, being totally sincere, the very same socialdemocratic party who were so against communsim, commisioned this statue without irony in the 1950s.

this statue by Carl Eldh were commisoned in 1935 but finished in 1952. this monument, which is gigantic btw, show the first socialdemocratic prime minister in sweden Branting in the middle (with the raised fist). he ofcourse as red banners in the background because he BREATHS and LIVES Democratic Socialism

close up off Branting, first ever swedish social democratic prime minister. also, should be noted, were able to become prime minister because the working class moment had gotten through the right to vote for working class men. Branting also were a important part in why the social democratic became... well who they are. Branting were actually upper class as fuck. and also for parliemntarism and reform democrartic socialism.

he kicked out the revultionary socialist out of the social democratic party (which in this context means socialists who wanted to end parlimentarism, and go the same road as russia were going with the russian revultion). but the kicking out of these suspected “revultionary socialists” were sometimes unfair and did not only target those who were actually looking for making sweden into a dictatorship.

Carl Eldh clearly knows his stuff and have snuck in Palm into this statue therefore. Palm being the other founder of the socialdemocratic party, but who got kicked out for not fitting with Branting view of socialism. Palm were also, actually working class, in oppisition to Branting

oh there he is! Palm! and Danielsson too! even the less accepted by social democratic party of that time, has snuck in!

a little elf! apperntly she is soppused to sympolize the blossoming spring. spring of what? democratic socialism i assume. when someone says social democrats of sweden this is not the image that comes to my mind. but Eldh were like hell yeah this is socialdemocracy!!!

(social democracy of the 1950s is for my more like: aiming to build 1 million cheap and affordable housing, standarized sinks, KINDERGARTEN, sweden having a absurd good economy and the social democratic party basically throwing money at their working class voters via reforms. also. the colour grey).

Eldh here wrote a text. it says this: “swedish social democracy raised this monument to honor the memory of our chief Hjalmar Branting. He dedicated his life to the workers of Sweden.”

oh wow Eldh..... you sure feel that fire of Branting (tbf he most likely knew him in real life.)

“he [Branting] awoke slumbering power among the common people and he led their struggle for freedom and justice. the future is hidden within what he achieved”

detail of the attentive crowd listening to Branting

it being uncovered in 1952 with a massive crowd. the people there in the front with the hats, are students.

Carl Eldh about the art piece:

“it show the workers march during 1 may, one of those first 1 may demonstrations in this country. you know back when working class women and children were arriving to the march directlly from the end of their shifts. those people who were there during those demonstration around the year 1900 will never forget the amazing feeling we all had while marching. and here on my art piece, i want to show how Branting stod their and spoke to the audience of workers. and among those workers in the audience are other important people in working class moment like Danielsson, Thorsson, Palm.”

i should mention here that Carl Eldh were from a working class background. which also explains why he is speaking in we-form (we marched there, we will never forget etc).

Conclusion

I have personally, despite being a democratic socialist, never felt this deep passion for Branting in particular. now, ofcourse, i am not a social democrat BUT.

someone who felt a burning passion for Branting though, were apperntly Eldh. also, the socialdemocratic party of the 1950s who just ordererd this statue unironcally and were like

AWESOME ART PIECE. looks like normal art. lets dedicate an entire park to it!!!! perhaps we should not give usa president a tour of it yeah? but WHATEVER. at last we got it!! gigantic art piece of our first socialdemocratic prime minister.

oh, i, the 1950s social democratic party of sweden, sure loves bathing in money.

ps. we got more of these type of socialist art from sweden of that era. this one is just..... memorable, and i see it relativaly often irl

Sources

all images via wikipedia article about this statue. click here for link

[golbatgender]

@ferenofnopewood replied to your post “Lmao after I reblogged your post about virizoncourse I got an anon...”

All I did was comment in support on that post you made and I suddenly got a flood of spam messages. *eyeroll*

Why are some people so damn creepy.

[lotus-queer]

@ferenofnopewood

Was it Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not? That sounds like something her character in that would do.

Taking someone's cigarette out of their mouth: Multiple meanings - used a lot in media to convey control, power play, very masculine, I'm your boss and this is mine now, get over it. Mildly flirty, look at me, all in your space and shit, seductive. You're not allowed to smoke, because I say so.

Putting the cigarette back in their mouth afterwards: Ground-breaking. Would be less erotic to just fuck honestly. Who does this?

[tirediscourse]

ferenofnopewood replied to your post “[[MOR] apparently listening to both sides of an argument and coming...”

Disagreeing with antis and exclusionists is always biphobic and transphobic, donchakno.

yep :/ can’t believe i’m discriminating against my own sexuality now... the danger of inclusionism

[ffn-archivists-corner]

The situation of fanfiction.net

(Still Work in Progress)

So, if anyone has been around these few past days, new posts about the shaky situation of ffnet (or its outright imminent collapse) has been doing the rounds of Tumblr.

It’s easy in situation like this, while dealing with the threats of something loved (or at least, an important part of our fandoms history), to start panicking.

It’s also true that there are millions of stories on ffnet (without even considering the ones on fictionpress), or try to organize something ahead of time may be the best solution.

In this post, I’ll try to recap what we know so that we can all be aware of the time we had and what we might want to do.

(NOTE: I try to tag whoever mentioned it, but finding each people in the long list of comments it’s a bit difficult; if you want to be mentioned, just let me know where you said it and I will update this post as soon as I can!)

Updated on date 2022/09/21

even if with hiccups, the site IS STILL WORKING (more or less) people manage to post/update their fics or receive reviews/email from the site (even if there are also the people who said the emails have stopped coming in the last months). It’s also true, though, that in the last months there have been cases of days-long delay in this (the one of the last few days is the one which sparked this new fear for the site collapse). I am not personally on ffnet (I may have check 2-3 fics in the last five years there), but I read posts here or around the web about this;

as has already been pointed out by a few, the domain seems registered until September 2028 (link, link). I am not an expert on this, so I don’t know if a website could collapse due to negligence before its domain could expire or not;

as @cuentaprovisional mentioned, new fandoms have been added in the last months. It may mean that there’s still someone lurking around (but it may best if someone who knows about these things could add their two cents);

it seems (need source though), that there has been cases of fic removed for breaking the TOS in the last year. If true, it may imply that there’s still someone lurking around;

on both sites homepage, it seems like there have been recent updates from Twitter. As a matter of fact, they’re misleading in their timestamps. If you click anyone of them, you’ll see that on Twitter they’re date back to January 2021 or even before. And that the last message there date back to September 2021. Even if there’s still some mods out there, it’s still troubling that they have gone radio silence since then;

a volunteer of OpenDoors (can’t find anymore the person who said this) mentioned that it may be difficult if not outright impossible for them to do something about it, both due to the sheer mole of fanfics and the fact that a request should be sent by the owners of the site;

UPDATE: as linked by @tante-bete and @haruka89​ (and maybe someone else?) there are repack of ffnet (and I think of fictionpress too?) saved on archive.org (link, link). The good news it’s that they could really be helpful in reducing the work that needs to be done, the bad news is that they seem to be quite unwieldy due to their dimensions. There are people looking into it.

That said, as @ferenofnopewood explained perfectly in their post:

“There is no FF.net lead mission to archive or save it. There is no "I hope FF.net's staff contacts AO3 so the fic can be archived." If we want it saved, it is up to US to do it, and the time to do it is NOW.

Even if you literally go in there and pick a fic at random, EVERYTHING HELPS. Small fandoms, large fandoms, fandoms you're sure somebody else has already covered - doesn't matter. Do it anyway.

Please help. This isn't a huge and co-ordinated effort. There's no phone tree. If you are reading this, I am begging you personally to help. Even if you only archive ten things - THAT HELPS!”

In this vein, I decided to create this sideblog, so that we can try to coordinate and help each other to backup and save the history of fandoms hidden in there. You’re free to download and save whatever fic you love or want, but if you decide to help backup a whole fandom (or a huge part of it), let me know and I will add you in the sections in the sidebar.

P.S. If you think I need to add something or clarify something better, just let me know and I make the necessary changes as soon as I can.

[tuesdayisfordancing]

btw great points being made on that post (about "culturally christian") on both sides. of note: here from elljayvee and ploncc, here from OP and ferenofnopewood (only viewable logged in), and here from cop-disliker69 (ditto). wording is somewhat aggressive all around, so look after your own comfort levels, but very useful points being made in my opinion.

[transmisogyny-explained]

Hey, can you please add ferenofnopewood and fierceawakening to your blocklist? They're both really, really vile transmisogynist and lesbophobic people who frequently use "transmisandry" as an excuse to harass trans women and lesbians. Ferenofnopewood claims to be a "male lesbian" at the moment but honestly he's claimed to be basically every identity under the sun in pursuit of Woke Points. Both of them are "pro-NOMAP" (i.e. literal pedophiles) too, for even more yikes.

Firstly, using a lot of labels to describe your identity, having a complex or seemingly “contradictory” identity, frequently changing how you identify, or being unsure about your identity are never bad things and are never used for “woke points.”

Secondly, with a cursory search through their blogs, I couldn’t find anything about transmisandry or NOMAPs, so could you please send receipts if you have them?

[fierceawakening]

Legit question: Do you assume if someone lacks empathy in a situation that they can't offer meaningful emotional support?

I’m not sure what lacks empathy in a situation means. I’m guessing it’s like… I describe my trauma and a person goes “whoa, I have trouble even imagining that?”

Because I’m… not sure if I would see that as lack of empathy. Lack of empathy would be “my scars still hurt sometimes, and I feel like screaming, and I don’t know what to do” and the other person going “oh, uh-huh” distantly. 

Or deciding “this person isn’t useful to me, so I’ll tease her about her scars, since she mentioned them.” Though that’s more actively malicious.

“I don’t understand, but I’m sensing your fear and shame” wouldn’t bug me at all. I’m not expecting understanding, because I don’t understand it myself.

Which is why I think people mean something else. 

But then they say the thing they have is “hearing about traumatic shit and not having emotions,” so… ??? I am Confusion, WTF of Souls