#felt the urge to end it with
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I think I just gotta start writing the thing, so I'm gonna try to write a bit a day and we'll see how it goes:
Alice wakes up and looks out the window, and... That's weird, it's so much emptier.
Where's the port town facing the sea with their little red roofs and white walls that she can usually see in the distance?
Where are the smoking chimneys of big cargo boats out in the port, made small by the distance?
Where are the cranes, seemingly still ever time she looks, but somehow always hard at work, loading and unloading?
Where is the touch of modernisation?
Out in the distance, all she sees are trees that should not be there and rolling green hills with no roads with people and cars and trucks cutting through them, ever busy.
She opens the window, and the breeze blows in, but it's crisper, fresher, not carrying the smoky tang of vehicles and boats alike, something she never thought of, never noticed until now.
It's quieter too.
There isn't the sound of people and cars and boats in the distance, only the call of birds and the rustling of leaves, so much closer than before.
BANG!
The door startles her and she turns to see Marcus there, panting, anxious, his mouth gaping open, mouthing words he cannot find or voice.
She knows before he speaks what he's going to say.
They aren't in their world anymore.
#felt the urge to end it with#we aren't in Kansas anymore#cause it would be iconic and hilarious#anyway i have a story#and I'm going to try to write a bit of it a day#or else I'll never start#and so never finish#and die regretting it forever#it's supposed to be a comic actually#but that requires more effort#and if i frame it as having to be a comic#I'll never get around to doing it#just putting it out in the world is better than not writing it#and so I'm doing this to remind myself of that#wonder writes#part 1
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Human! Perry is on the brain and it is a delight to draw
More doodles!
#perry the platypus#phineas and ferb#human perry#got to monologue in the tags now#drawing this is pretty funny to me because i remember being 10 and being asked by some guy in class if i could draw Phineas and ferb#and at the time i didn’t really watch cartoons nor had the Disney channel so i just went ??? no because i had no clue what that was#but also because i hated being asked to draw stuff#I ended up watching phineas and ferb sometime in early highschool(?) and loved it but still never did anything for it#so now years later i still haven’t drawn the boys but here’s Perry#there’s such great designs of human! Perry I suddenly felt the urge to draw him#but make him nerdier#consistent art style? never heard of her#gotta post this before I decided not to
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Of course hiei is eating the sticks
#long story short: i went to the grocery store to buy ice cream and i carved one i def could not afford#so i went home with my mc cheapo ice creams and this thing popped in my mind#the fun part was supposed to be hiei chewing the sticks but i kept adding things and now hes living his shojo dream with the ice cream#幽遊白書#yyh#yuyu hakusho#yu yu hakusho#digital art#ibis paint x#youko kurama#yyh kurama#kurama#shuichi minamino#hiei#yyh hiei#hiei jaganshi#hiei x kurama#kurahi#but in reality its hiei x ice cream#special thanks to the yyh peeps who follow my ig for choosing the horrible color palette of kurama's clothes#since i dressed him too nicely i felt the urge to make up for it#yapping ended hope you enjoy :')
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#not my finest textposts but I felt the urge to make a post#and this one ended up being kind of a Fivecentric one (and wow I even included S4 Five!)#tua#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#tua meme#luther hargreeves#diego hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#number five#five hargreeves#ben hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#lila pitts
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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🌻Flowers💕
(Don't look at the fact that its super sketchy and undone)
#petara's art#petara's comic#sonadow#artists on tumblr#art#artist support#artwork#artistsupportartists#digital art#digital drawing#valentines day#comic#sonic#shadow#idk why i felt the urge to draw those flowers realistic style#enjoy this small comic what i literally started without knowing how i wanna end it
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hear me out kitchen scene is literally going to be eddie going over to buck's to let him know him and marisol broke up and hes going to be like lmao guess we're both single now still want to go go karting 🤪🥰🥳!! and bucks going to be like... about that...
@chronicowboy and I were literally discussing this exact scenario a week ago (minus eddisol break up lmao) but legitimately. legitimately I think there is a very very high chance of this happening. specifically a callback to the go karting and eddie trying to make time for buck only for buck to be like oh. I actually have plans. with tommy. and coming out to eddie
#do yall actually remember me saying i was getting the strongest urge to figure out how to write a fic cause i had a very specific scenario#in mind#it was literally this lmao#it was before we knew the kitchen scene stills were from 705 so i actually thought buck would apologize to tommy before the end of the#episode and tommy would ask him to dinner (NO chin grabbing in my scenario they were leaving room for jesus)#and then eddie would come over and be like okay talk to me. and when buck admits he's felt sidelined and jealous he would apologize and try#to make up for it with the go karting rain check#and then buck says he has a date with tommy blah blah blah#sorry i blacked out remembering how different everything is from last week and how it somehow turned out to equal the most delusional spec#we could ever make#crazy. Crazy#911 spoilers#weewoo brainrot
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honk
#idk if this fandom is alive anymore but here's burnt toast man#shall i tag this shit.......... sure lets tag this shit#payday 2#payday#hoxton#was thinkin about how therell be another one of these games and felt the sudden urge to draw the fave again#payday tumblr sure was fun to be part of back in the day#anyways i'm off to bed... been insanely tired today and hopefully i'll get to some of the art on my to do list#tomorrow i meant to say. hope to get to it tomorrow lol#i have some nice ones there. though. mostly ones i won't be able to post here lmfao#maybe throw in oc with pride flag thing on this list so i'll have sth posting worthy.#in a non related note at the end here i just finished playing tlou on the pc and it was so much fun... never did finish it on the console#just watched others play through it#i smell an AU but i'll keep that to myself because whomst cares#honk honk good night
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since i started doing goodreads annual reading challenges in 2017, i've been making lists of the top 10 or 15 books i read that year, thought it'd be fun to see how many others have read! including a few i read this year that are currently declared faves but could be knocked down at any moment by my next fave lol
#megamazing#poll#polls#tumblr poll#book poll#bookblr#list challenge#i started looking at the lists going wait where's this book that's my fave why is it not listed#or onky some out of a series#but resisted the urge to mess w the list bc the point is top faves and what i felt at the time#and i generally don't finish many books i truly dislike so#anything i finish could go as a fave#well there's some books i get in deep realize i hate then finish just to see the end#but that's thankfully rare#also idc if this stops being tumblr trendy i would make these lists just for myself#even if no one voted lol it's so fun
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self-portraits 🙂↕️
#original art#self portrait#picklejuice (me)#picklejuice's humansona lol#ive been feeling really bad lately and drawing myself is not something i do to vent but i felt an urge and it ended up cute so have it <3#commissions open
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Torturing myself with thoughts of Durge potentially having a very unintended experience the first time she goes on that little weave date with Gale.
.
What if she intends to kiss him in the weave, but her fractured mind conjures up the image of Gortash instead after she pulls away.
It's who she really wants, she just doesn't remember.
Gale is none the wiser, until the weave slips away to reveal a panicked Durge...
Trying to explain what she saw?
Trying to brush it off?
Who is that man burned into what's left of her brain matter? Who was he to her that the weave would pull him forth when she made the decision to pursue Gale?
And laying eyes on him again for real, at Moonrise...
Maybe she finds the Prayer for Forgiveness, and her hands are shaking as she reads, knowing that she penned this.
To her father.
Her God.
To Bhaal.
Scelaritas's words suddenly make sense.
"He would forget his god for you, but you won't for him. Of that I know."
She did forget her god once, it seems.
For Gortash.
After that, she goes to Wyrm's Rock to meet him alone, because she has one burning, inescapable question.
"Who are you to me?"
#durgetash#GOREtash#The Dark Urge#DurgeGale#Good GOD I am in deep#My fully Evil Durge run is with Ascended Astarion - tragic romance#E!Durge realizing her lover no longer sees her as an equal...but GORTASH on the other hand...#E!Durge ascended Astarion because she gave zero shits about 7000 souls and felt that Astarion deserved to have that power#When he actually EXERTED that power over HER she was quite taken aback#Somewhere inside she remembered the height of her power and someone to share godhood with; she was blindsided by Astarion#But she made her bed. She still cared for him; so she chose to lie in that bed#But Gortash still had a hold over her now-undead heart#Astarion is callous about it when Gortash meets his unceremonious end by the Brain and E!Durge (Hiraeth) takes this personally#She reclaims her power by taking dominion for Bhaal; subjugating everyone - Astarion included - to bring about her father's dead world.#Because really; the only thing that ever held her back from fulfilling her purpose was her admiration for Gortash.#RESISTENT DURGE ON THE OTHER HAND is romancing Gale lol#AND THE WHOLE 'HE WOULD FORGET HIS GOD FOR YOU' LINE REALLY STRUCK A CHORD WITH THE PRAYER FOR FORGIVENESS
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me when i get asked why i pray to lady aphrodite and have an alter dedicated to her but i literally just felt like i needed to do, i felt a pull to do it and acted on it :
uhh ,, about that
#vox saying stuff#idk i felt the urge to do it for like a week straight but i was like 'noo i shouldnt ...'#i did end up doing it#my altar is very modest tho#hellenism#hellenic pagan
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“if i turn from doing what’s right, i’ll lose myself” / “then i’m coming with you” / “i know :)”
#i already had thoughts abt them but the whole. the don’t go where i can’t follow trope. omfgggg#the way that after a year of knowing each other something shifted in sabine the moment harding got injured#such a small sudden shift but it changed everything#suddenly sabine found herself thrown off guard by the way harding looked at her#that softness. that vulnerability.#not because she was scared but because she felt an urge she’d never felt before#this ache to protect her#she wants to do everything for her. to be there for her and uplift her and provide for her and make her so so so SO happy#an all-encompassing desire to be With Her. such a new feeling that she just can't keep herself from giving in to#whether she's trying or not. she can't help it. true north always points to lace harding#sabine was always on her own romantically. flirting was a means to an end. sex was between friends not lovers.#it's not that she thought love didn't exist it's that she never bothered trying to find it so when IT found HER it got her by the throat#it is so simple but this is loveeee she's falling in loveeeeeee#and the FEAR oh my god#her love for harding was born out of the realization she's afraid to lose her and so fear is at the heart of their relationship#the urge to protect is first instinct. she was a treasure hunter. hypervigilance is second nature#‘i know.’ yeah babe. she sure does.#anyways.txt#jasmine plays datv#ch: sabine laidir#god there are parallels between sabine/harding and alistair/rowena now that i'm getting into the meat of it. hold on a second#man hold on a second........#unease permeating the air. stolen moments amidst the despair. paralyzing fear of loss and grieving before the tragedy has even struck#MMMM OKAY. OKAY.#the difference is sabine is a grown woman with a healthy brain and rowena is like nineteen traumatized and insane
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Something about bad writing/devastating character deaths motivates me to write. Like my frustration comes out in fix-it fics.
#this is about izzy hands btw#and yes i do consider his death to be bad writing#dont get me wrong i still like s2#but his death felt cheap#and because of that i suddenly feel the very strong urge to write a better ending#my pettiness takes over and i suddenly think i could write a better ending then showrunners lol#BECAUSE I CAN AND HERES HOW#anyway the fic would be ouizzy so i gotta tag that#ouizzy#izzy hands#omfd s2 spoilers#omfd spoilers#omfd season 2#aml speaks
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i wish i could just do nothing for a few days straight. maybe even just sleep for a few days straight. sooo excited for constant misery over the next 20 days
ranting in the tags. i would just scroll past if i were you
#i love college.my favorite part is sitting alone on my couch for 4 months straight and getting so freaked out over grades i spend#5 hours straight trying to avoid the urge to bite into my arm so hard i bruise or bash my head into a wall#meanwhile i keep thinking my life is over. i don't have any evidence. for the first time in my life the future isn't predetermined by#other people and now that i don't know what comes next i just constantly get freaked out. it makes me want to claw through my skin#i know something is wrong with me. it's been 5 years. i know it isn't just going to go away; especially given current circumstances#and how it's only been getting worse over time#but i continue to just sit on my couch and do nothing about it. and since i'm not doing anything about it i just feel like i don't have the#right to complain about it even though shit fucking sucks. months of my life at a time just blur together#god. i was genuinely happy last month when i ripped a bunch of booster packs with my mates that i only see over the summer (minus my bestie#and it made me realize just how much everything's blurred together. i hadn't really felt anything lasting + significantly positive#for months before that. that's not normal#god. i've been wanting to go to bed for the last two hours but i just keep sitting here going “um! you need to study. and wash dishes. and”#so i just. don't. which is already bad but i also need to get up early so i can study for my test tomorrow.#god. fucking dreading my lab tomorrow. went to it last week but dipped at the last minute without getting my work checked off#and without submitting it because i got so angry and freaked out and telling myself “man you can just leave” calmed me down instantly#and then at that point i had like nothing done and i didn't want to admit that so i just. left#if i get asked about it i'll just say it was something personal and i panicked. shrug#a part of me is beyond tempted to skip the lab again but i'm not confident in my assignment grades in that class to do so#even though i'll end up with a 5 point bonus on the final grade from taking a survey. but i'll probably go just cause#it's the second to last lab#man i have three whole ass projects due in that class in 10 days. unless my mental state suddenly improves (it won't) i'm gonna end up doin#those the last possible three days#speaking of assignments. we had to do a group project in my bio lab yeah? the methods my group went with sucked and honestly these#people were a little bit frustrating (i get it. gen ed lab at 7:30am. i'm only in it cause i panicked when a different class registration#fell through) since it always felt like they were more interested in getting done than having like. slightly decent work but whatever#but these people? these people asked me to write the conclusion for our presentation. i ask “yeah sure yeah. what did we conclude”#“eh. you can write whatever” ???????????????? HUH???? MATE THAT IS HALF OF THE WORK???????????????????#the shitty sensors and our shitty methods gave us shitty data and YOU PEOPLE CAN'T EVEN SUGGEST WHAT THE CONCLUSION IS????????? fuck me dud#i was already in a poor mood (normal mental illness plus i had found out my uncle died like three days before#like i had talked to him just last month. never had someone i know die before. sucks) but that shit pissed me off
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hiya !! Been following u for a while <333 just wondering, is this ur only blog?
hello, thank you for sticking around for so long 🤍 yes, this my only blog! i do not post elsewhere, i do not go by other names or urls.
#[ ai—mail ]#well besides my main blog gojoest-main but you know how it is#sry if this was pure curiosity on your end but due to *reasons* i felt very urged to clarify LOL
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