#Astarion is callous about it when Gortash meets his unceremonious end by the Brain and E!Durge (Hiraeth) takes this personally
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Torturing myself with thoughts of Durge potentially having a very unintended experience the first time she goes on that little weave date with Gale.
.
What if she intends to kiss him in the weave, but her fractured mind conjures up the image of Gortash instead after she pulls away.
It's who she really wants, she just doesn't remember.
Gale is none the wiser, until the weave slips away to reveal a panicked Durge...
Trying to explain what she saw?
Trying to brush it off?
Who is that man burned into what's left of her brain matter? Who was he to her that the weave would pull him forth when she made the decision to pursue Gale?
And laying eyes on him again for real, at Moonrise...
Maybe she finds the Prayer for Forgiveness, and her hands are shaking as she reads, knowing that she penned this.
To her father.
Her God.
To Bhaal.
Scelaritas's words suddenly make sense.
"He would forget his god for you, but you won't for him. Of that I know."
She did forget her god once, it seems.
For Gortash.
After that, she goes to Wyrm's Rock to meet him alone, because she has one burning, inescapable question.
"Who are you to me?"
#durgetash#GOREtash#The Dark Urge#DurgeGale#Good GOD I am in deep#My fully Evil Durge run is with Ascended Astarion - tragic romance#E!Durge realizing her lover no longer sees her as an equal...but GORTASH on the other hand...#E!Durge ascended Astarion because she gave zero shits about 7000 souls and felt that Astarion deserved to have that power#When he actually EXERTED that power over HER she was quite taken aback#Somewhere inside she remembered the height of her power and someone to share godhood with; she was blindsided by Astarion#But she made her bed. She still cared for him; so she chose to lie in that bed#But Gortash still had a hold over her now-undead heart#Astarion is callous about it when Gortash meets his unceremonious end by the Brain and E!Durge (Hiraeth) takes this personally#She reclaims her power by taking dominion for Bhaal; subjugating everyone - Astarion included - to bring about her father's dead world.#Because really; the only thing that ever held her back from fulfilling her purpose was her admiration for Gortash.#RESISTENT DURGE ON THE OTHER HAND is romancing Gale lol#AND THE WHOLE 'HE WOULD FORGET HIS GOD FOR YOU' LINE REALLY STRUCK A CHORD WITH THE PRAYER FOR FORGIVENESS
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