#felt good if i'm being honest
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fujigoe
#this will likely be the last of my recent twcfm posts#but i did love goemon's (and fujiko's) depictions/relationships#all goemon wants is a friend like him since he feels so alone in the world#but he fell in love with a person who doesn't exist#and he keeps setting himself up for failure by hoping for fujiko to change into the woman he thought she was#only to end up more lonely since before meeting fujiko (the ending of twcfm “resolves” their relationship but it felt wrapped up too soon)#also i'm specifically thinking of the scene where they're on the beach and goemon interprets her actions as having been good and honest for#once only to end up disappointed when she hadn't changed for the better to be more in line with his values#as for fujiko she got closure from her trauma but her relationship with goemon went nowhere#she was too traumatized to understand that goemon was trustworty and genuinely did love her unlike all the other men in her life so far#but it was interesting to see her being comfortable “alone” after she dealt with her trauma as well as her new outlook on life#but i still feel bad for goemon; he deserved better and all he wanted was for someone to want/love him and make him feel he belongs#lupin iii#lupin the third#lupin the 3rd#goemon ishikawa xiii#goemon#fujiko mine#twcfm#the woman called fujiko mine#fujigoe
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perpetual chicken and egg question are you not writing fanfiction because you're depressed or are you depressed because you're not writing fanfiction. write fanfiction and find out today
#personal#liz loves writing#i think it's the former i think it's seasonal it's got to be seasonal!!!!!!!!#but i wrote 1k of envesseled yesterday and like#it wasn't even a good 1k if i'm being honest like it was a bad set of words#but i felt SO much better. i didn't even get mad when i got into bed to find my cat had puked on the bedspread#having to remake my entire bed when im ready to sleep normally turns me into number one grouch and i didnt care#slept well got up at a reasonable hour and everything#the effect is starting to wear off which means i need to write another 1000 words but I Dont Wanna. must be seasonal.#man remember when i was banging out 2 an 3 thousand every day easily? i miss that.#anyway maybe it's the weather here...it's been like 70+ for 3 days now thanks climate change
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Crying over Kinniku and Iromatsu, cry with me @ the "Karamatsu dies and becomes a ghost and does his best to pretend he's still alive" fic (linked as a source)
#Osomatsu-san#mr Osomatsu#fic rec#Karamatsu#so everyone knows kaijuumatsu is the greatest thing since sliced bread to me#thinking about (spoilers) Jyushimatsu realising that he's looking at his dead brother and that the expression he's looking at is the same#expression of surprised terror that Karamatsu wore upon death and that that was the last thing he felt and Jyushi feeling so afraid that he#had to leave the room and KARAMATSU'S HEART BREAKING WITH EVERY STEP HE TOOK because all the saw was his little brother#(the brother that lets him baby him the most too and gosh Kinniku are so tight they vibe so well together) being afraid of him????#i feel ill ILL going insane#and the iromatsu one-sided argument oh my god#Will there ever be a more superior trope than Ichimatsu getting mad at Karamatsu for lying and keeping things from them. i don't think so.#i just think of the pizza skit and how focused Ichi was on Karamatsu revealing his honest thoughts about his stupid his siblings were being#and i think of them in highschool and how it's hinted that they were close until ichi made popular friends and imagine being Ichimatsu and#looking at the ghost of your brother and remembering a time when you were his only confidante and also struggling to remember when was the#last time that he hauled your drunk ass home (one of the few remaining moments of brotherly caretaking that you allow from him as an adult)#AND I FEEL SICKKK I FEEL ILLLLL I'M SHAKING AND CRYING SUDIWHDKWKDJD AAAA hell#((it's such a good fic please read it. please be as abnormal about the IMPLICATIONS as i am too))
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☀
Salty AF Munday Meme - [ ACCEPTING ] ;;
☀ What's your rp pet peeve?
// Oh dear, I must choose only one? Well, alright. Uhh, I guess people who act like they're owed attention and either get pissy at people who don't give it to them ( for valid reasons ), or threaten to delete/disappear every 5 minutes because they're not the star of the dashboard. Don't get me wrong, I, personally, am absolutely horrible at divvying up my attention and cannot hold multiple conversations, so I understand getting discouraged if it feels like some folks, like myself, are being neglectful, but there's a difference between the blogs that don't get a lot of love and deserve it, and the blogs that DO get a lot of love and start convulsing when the spotlight isn't on them for a bit.
I don't like attention hoarders. We all have lives, we all have limits. Sit down and breathe, your mutuals still love you, you're not hated because you lost one follower, etc, etc, etc. :I They may just not be in the right headspace, or their focus is on other things. Tumblr is a hobby, not a job.
#[ i woke up one day (long time ago) to a good 20 messages of someone saying it felt like i didn't care about them#or that i wasn't excited about our ship anymore. etc etc. like straight up attacking me.#mind you. i am very upfront and honest about how bad i am at keeping up with messages#or how busy i can get at work to the point i can disappear for a whole day.#i love all my mutuals. i promise. i am just slow and busy and have a low social battery.#needless to say we're not friends anymore. do not accuse and pressure people for attention and conversation.#there is a way to express your concerns POLITELY without being a brat. i'm 30 almost 31. i don't have time for children. ;/ ]#OOC ;; ( ANSWERED ASK )
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It really hurts when it feels like a friend you considered family gives up on you and the relationship
Like, we could have talked about it, we could have found a solution together, we were each others family remember?! But instead you chose to just give up and cut me out
#and in like#about five messages too!#that were pretty accusatory#like apologizing peofusely bc youre afraid that karma wikl fuck u up for hurting le#doesnt really make up for accusing me of what you did#there are so many more compassionate ways you could have said that!#I'm so so sorry but you suck and i can't take it anymore goodbye#WTF#is this the goodbye seven years of friendship is worth??#we went through thick and thin#and yeah i have not been too well lately and i was pretty depressed two years ago#you asked me to share my problems with you and when i do i am too much and you drop me like hot metal instead of talking about it?#and that goodbye was so rushed it felt like i was chasing her just to get a little closure#you said you would always be there#even with our lives being so different I still believed it was possible#and you kept ignoring me!#i shared good stuff too and you didn't even respond! you said you were too busy and didn't make time for me#so when I stop sharing that good things happen to me too bc I'm frustrated with being ignored all the time you say I'm toxic for only#and drop me? instead of having a talk about it or taking a break?#like#i thought we were each others family but it seems like I was the more loyal one who cared the most and got burned yet again#is it so hard to talk and try to adjust?#i thought we were the real ones for each other yanno but clearly thing were different for you with all your toxic ass family and all your#jobs and friends#she's always had more than me#doesn't mean I'm alone tho#i have friend who can talk to me and try to adjust and fix the relationship and is a true loyal friend#it's not the end of my world that you're gone#even if you were a big part of it#how can I loose when I was so loyal and true and honest
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the "I already bought tickets to go see Indy again next week" moodboard
#actually factually finalized the purchase it's happening same seats and everything lmfao#I am being very irritating abt this I'm not sorry I had so much fun today and I loved this movie to bits#and I'm so happy this is how we as fans get to close Indy's adventures like.#it didn't just feel like half-hearted fan service bullshit it was really well done which I'll be honest#I was not expecting. there are def call backs of course to the previous films#but it didn't feel like heavy handed or cheap#they really did a good job of like. making it feel authentic like. not just a shitty rehash idk for me#it felt like. so appropriate. like he's an old man now. time has passed. they don't just like wallpaper over that#it just has idk so much heart. like the old og movies it's fantastical but there's so much heart#idk I really liked it. it felt like watching the old ones. the old ones had so much heart. that's why you loved indy!#he was a smart ass but he was earnest too and he had heart and he cared and like ahhhhhhhhhh!!!#it's just. idk idk idk I feel like it's such a great close to the adventures for massive Indy nerds like myself#lmao I asked my mom tonight like when was the last time you watched any of the movies#cause you mught wanna rewatch before we go#and she was like well it has been a while cause you don't live here anymore#and I was like I know. I'm never like six months removed from the last time I watched an Indy#and she was like I know it's your religion I know#I just. I loved it. a lot. I really did. as a massive Indy nerd I really did just enjoy it a lot. more than kotcs#but I firmly believe w/o kotcs it wouldn't have been so fuckin good like omg#erin explains it all
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Admins please give Bad some lore he's so bored he's gonna literally join the Federation 😆
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? what the fuck was that finale
#so. just finished Hazbin Hotel#and to he honest? 6/10 overall#but like what was that ending?? shit just Happens#and like#it's cool and all#I liked seeing Lucifer beat the shit out of Adam with the power of whimsy#but everything else felt like a power point presentation of cool stuff they wanted to show the character doing#also#Sir Pentious us one of my favorite characters so there might be some bias here but#his death was handled very sloppily#like I didn't know if I was supposed to feel sad or just laugh#Adam just fucking Evaporates him and throws a one liner and then they play emotional music and Charlie is crying and I'm like#huh ?#like I thought he was gonna come out of the rubble eventually#good on him for ending up in Heaven btw my absolute GOAT#I do have to admit that I am very much invested in whatever the fuck Alastor has going on#but other than that I care not for season 2#kudos to Lucifer and Pentious for being the only characters I actually liked and honorable mention to Nifty for being the reason I laughed#for the edgy hell show I'm surprised that the only highlights of my experience with it were the silly characters lol#anyway. rant over? rant over.#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel spoilers
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Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow
#idk i don't have much 'real stuff' happening irl besides like. job hunting and college applications. so it's hard#but i think if i at least ease off some time on here n read a little more n watch more movies i might start to feel better#haven't really liked where my head's been at lately it feels like whatever persona is The One Who Blogs is 'taking over' more#to put it in a very dorky comic book-sounding ass way LMAO but that's how i feel! like i'm losing my own 'voice' yknow#my mental health is Bad my physical health is also Not Great n i kinda feel like ass. if i'm being honest#idk i feel like i'm crashing from whatever high i've been on for the past couple of days n i'm not Really super happy w myself#except the media literacy posts those were good. but like the more discoursey stuff i'm not proud of#again sorry to like. publicly vent LMAO i'll be fine i'm good. i'm trying really hard to pull myself out of this#but again. sorry abt the Shite i was posting earlier today i wasn't really in my own right head#just kinda wanted 2 get all that off my chest idk if it's clear that i don't really have anyone i feel like i can talk to right this moment#i'm very socially isolated irl and i'm so scared of becoming socially isolated online too just bc i'm an idiot who doesn't think b4 he post#NOT to make it sound all about me or whatever but it's true. i'm very very scared of losing people n right now this is My Space#i'd forgotten just how bad it felt. in this Specific case it is kinda my fault tho LMAO don't worry i've apologized as best i know how#okay i'm done. i'm done. i'm gonna go watch tv and go to bed i hope#open mick night
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The Killing Kind: Colin Morgan on importance of having intimacy co-ordinator on set - Belfast Live
#colin morgan#hes a gentleman#and so brave in being honest#Im so glad he felt comfortable filming this#the killing kind#makes a good case for not sexualising him all the damn time#I mean I'm ace so dont anyway#but guys get uncomfortable too#and some of the shit I read about ehat fans wanna do to their fave actorson this hellsite makes me shudder#have some respect
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today’s been a bad day and one of my friends is practically begging me to let him vent to me and my other friend is picking a fight right now and i can’t remember the last time i saw another person aside from my girlfriend. she makes it better but makes everything worse. i have a meeting tomorrow i swore i’d sleep early for but now i just. i don’t know what i want.
#it's weird because like... i'm the lucky one? the good one? the fine one? what's even the word for this#i'm not causing drama i'm handling things fine i'm making plans.#but i feel like i'm fucking breaking#and it's just PMS but i've felt uneasy for the entire last two months i just#i feel like i was in a stupor where i had to keep seeing my girlfriend or else everything would fall apart#but it's been a while since i last saw someone that wasn't my girlfriend. since last wednesday i guess.#and now any time she texts me i literally just want to tear my hair out like#i'm not this person this isn't what i'm supposed to be doing. i feel literally plastic.#everything i say is like. someone's already said the exact same thing. i can't do conversations right i can't do them unique.#on friday when i was with my girlfriend i felt wrong the entire fucking time#i think part of that was because i really don't like kissing to be honest#but also because like. i was not a human being. that was not a person in there#i felt neutral. we watched a show and i couldn't keep track of anything that happened#and i was resting against her but i couldn't like. remember it. feel it.#every time i get like this i KNOW if i just sleep i'll feel okay again#but that doesn't even feel real. when was the last time i actually felt a positive feeling?#it was a few hours ago but like. gone. whatever. discarded.#why did i think a healthy relationship would fix it?#neg#dont rb
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using the 1% of energy i have left on this monday night to research the odds that i can get a doctor's note to deem me unable to work 100% rn and i love that among the things listed that endometriosis can ruin the function of there's "walking, standing and sitting"
3 pretty crucial activities while at work
#there's also concentration which..#i was doing so good during the summer hols but obv it's easier to recover during the 8 weeks hols#than it is while working 45 hour weeks#i forgot that i was on the teacher hols when i spoke to the dr on the phone and i was saying how great i felt#it was true but like. i guess i kinda played myself bc i wasn't thinking about the fact that i was vacation and able to recover whenever#i don't think teaching is compatible with endo if i'm being honest
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#tag talk#plot twist. I've learned how to admit I've made mistakes and he still loves me and everything is fine#even though I'm an absolute idiot sometimes I've grown to at least be able to admit it and be honest about being dumb#because this is the first time I've cut someone out and felt like it was a mistake and not a good choice#so I said so and was like “hey remember when I said my brain couldn't be trusted? yeah I was right”#at least I was up front months ago about being crazy girlfriend material. helps when I need to walk back dumb shit I say and do#having to come to grips with the fact that I'm sometimes an idiot is pretty rough though#I have a fortune cookie fortune saved in my wallet that says “it was when you learned to make mistakes that you knew you were onto somethin#and yeah. learning to accept that I fuck up sometimes is really important for me.#anyway I don't care if we never have good sex ever. I want someone who loves me and cares about me and who I love in return.#he sent me a dumb Instagram reel and it gave me the biggest smile. yeah we back Bois
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being autistic in my experience involves having made fic authors cry with the comments you left when you were exactly 11 years old (yes) so now that you are an adult and have acquired the ability of Tact™ you think very hard about what is and what isn't acceptable to leave as feedback
#i got the Extremely Honest type of autism#of course I was labeled as a rude bitch for this#or had ppl thinking I meant to hurt them#when i actually meant to offer constructive feedback to help improve things i believed were good and had the potential to be even better#like as a 13 yo I already felt that only good things deserved to be properly analyzed for feedback#and that when something was truly awful there was no way i could be 'constructive' or nice so i had better just shut up#cuz i could NOT lie#in these moments i always felt myself imploding lmao#because the intention really wasn't to hurt#but i did think 'constructive criticism' was good#anyways to this day i sometimes just DON'T respond when i can't think of anything that seems socially appropriate#but I have a better notion of what's appropriate for others than when I was younger lmao#that is all tied to masking tbh#and i need some level of honesty to BREATHE#but i do appreciate that i can interact with the people i care about a little more smoothly than before#fyi i feel the need to clarify that there have been moments when I was mean to people on purpose it's just I wouldn't call it 'constructive'#it's different when i mean to help with feedback and accidentally hurt someone#when I hurt others I suppose it came as a result of being hurt myself#or from navigating my experience as a human being who is perceived by others and whose actions can be of impacr#it's really vivid in my memory the first times i realized i did something and it had the power to hurt someone#I'm still really ashamed of some of it#like i made one fatphobic comment to a friend as a 12 yo and then i literally couldn't sleep all night from the remorse#and I'm ashamed of it to this day#and I'm turning 29 in a couple of weeks#it was like..... 17 years ago#oh my god
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I kind of want to reread hourou musuko but there's a part I think when they first get to middle school? that made me SO sad idek why? perhaps (almost certainly) dysphoria related. So maybe it won't be so bad now
#I felt the ending was rather abrupt#and it left me VERY MUCH wanting more#but overall it was good#I love all the characters#but#well I mean she's the main character so I guess it's pretty expected#but I got very attached to Nitorin#I've forgotten almost every other character's name if I'm being honest#apart from takatsuki and anna#okay kinda wanna reread it a lot now#we'll see#there's some. parts I don't think are very good#(besides the part that made me feel depressed for no identifiable reason)
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wait what.... why is he releasing an album called the last with a song called last song on it....... ARE YOU QUITTING TAICHI???
#original#nooooo#music#if i'm being honest haven't felt his last few releases tho so maybe i'm not actually that sad about this lmao#good selection on this album they got most of my faves#Spotify
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