#feels like a world hopping novel i like it

[avoicebehindthestars]

On Rob's Good Omens sweaters...

Bluesky has some photos of Rob Wilkins wearing these two holiday sweaters:

At the first glance you go "awww, how perfect, I need those sweaters!" but then you're like "hold on a second!"

For the sake of this meta, I'm going to assume the designs are deliberate, and not just idk cheap fakes ordered from temu lol.

Let's start with stating the obvious. The red sweater has the characters' roles reversed - Crawly is sheltering Aziraphale. It's not a "book thing" either - there, Aziraphale held his own wings above himself. This is a minor detail, but Crawly's stance is also different than in the show - his legs are apart, in a position indicating strength, confidence, and protection. Meanwhile, the blue sweater has what looks like angel!Crowley sheltering a black-haired fallen angel. My first thought was that is could be Satan and this might be a hint that we're going to see Crowley's fall after all. But now I think different.

Regarding the red sweater in particular, my thoughts immediately wandered towards the multiple Edens theory and the two Crowleys theory. Just to quickly recap: discrepancies in the details on the walls of Eden have been spotted, and at one point someone from the crew mentioned that there were "many Edens" in existence (possibly testing grounds before the real one? Or several different enclosures for the first breeding pairs? We never found out). As for Crowley - many people have noticed differences in his looks throughout season 2. Most notably, his sideburns have differing length and it shifts within the same scene, e.g. the sideburns are long in the pub, but short when he leaves the pub; they are short during the "exactlys" argument, but long when Crowley snatches his sunglasses while storming out of the bookshop. Bildad the Shuhite also has two different hairstyle (one is shorter, more evenly cut and carefully combed, whereas the other is longer and a bit more "windswept"). There's also the matter of different camera filters, which is a commonly used technique to show different worlds (think Supernatural, and I think also some MCU films?), and the disappearing props.

So, taking the sweaters into consideration, could the world of Good Omens be comprised of multiple realities? The novel is one. Season 1 is another. Season 2 shows TWO (!), which are almost identical. Who knows, perhaps the Crowley with the short sideburns managed to sway Aziraphale in the Final Fifteen, or even changed his mind and hopped on the lift at the last moment? What if, presented on the sweaters are two more? On, in which it was Crawly offering shelfter to Aziraphale, and another one in which it was Aziraphale who fell (and his hair blackened in the process). Perhaps there are versions of this (sorry, couldn't resist!) in which they both fell, neither did, or they were an established couple by season 1?

It this were to prove true in the movie, it will have some pros, of course. Firstly, it would legitimise virtually all headcanons you might have (I was a little upset when s2 finale made it clear they weren't secretly a couple before). It would also boost creativity for all the reverse!Omens fic writers. And, of course, it would explain many things fans have noticed, especially about s2.

However, other than that, I don't think I like it that much. Above all, I simply dislike multiverse - I find them often too convenient narratively, while also needlessly convoluted. But aside from that, I wouldn't be happy to see that particular take in the movie. If we were getting out 6 episodes, it would be fun to watch particular scenes and increasingly go "huh?" as we spot consecutive discrepancies and minor details that don't work. And by the time it was revealed it would feel really rewarding that you have spotted the details, even if you failed to work it all out. Within mere 90 minutes… it just doesn't feel like enough time to drop enough hints, or, alternatively, the movie would be oversaturated with them. Finally, it would mean less screentime for the mercilessly truncated Aziracrow reconcilliation arc (which I am still grieving over), as instead we would receive glimpses of different universes, while still navigating the complex Second Coming plotline. Also, what would be the endgame? All the Aziraphales and Crowleys combining their forces to beat heaven and hell/the new christ/god herself? That's a bit too Marvel if you ask me, and with all my reservations about the movie, I rather trust Narrativia to offer us something much more original.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Wicked the movie thoughts - spoiler version

I went to see Wicked today! If you want to read a spoiler free edition of what I thought you can do that here but otherwise below the cut I am going to talk in a lot of detail about the show and share my thoughts - they're overwhelmingly positive!! I loved this movie, I love this musical, and I have a lot of thoughts to discuss, I'm welcoming conversations about things I say or about stuff I didn't say but that you want to talk about let's absolutely chat, and this is all the way through going to contain spoilers for the plot but also for specific details, scenes, acting, etc, of the new movie so be warned if you don't want to read that

First of all, the genuine love and care that was put into the show and that can be seen not only in the acting but in the set, the music, in every aspect the care and the adoration for the theatre production was so clear, it was so lovingly crafted from the word go. I also felt like not only Wicked the musical but also Oz, in the original Wizard of Oz novel, in the Wicked novel, in the world and in everything that Gregory Maguire brought to the world, and so on and so forth was being treated with such care and being genuinely revered whilst also balancing well enough that I didn't feel like I was only ever seeing rehashes of existing material or a carbon copy of the past

Even as I was watching and thinking this, and thinking how well they had captured the feeling of watching something on stage, I was still wondering how they were possibly going to execute the Emerald City and the One Short Day performance because it's so iconic and so distinct in the musical but genuinely I was so impressed with the success of that scene. It both captured the essence of One Short Day on stage and added something new to it without taking anything away from the original and they deserve so much praise for that. I'm going to talk a little bit about the nail salon scene later when I discuss propaganda in Wicked (this is gonna be a looooooong post y'all buckle up) but other than that for One Short Day I just need to address, because how could I not, IDINA MENZEL AND KRISTEN CHENOWORTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't know they were going to be there!!!!!!!!!! I was losing my goddamn mind you guys omg

I was genuinely astonished. Like I'd seen them doing press and stuff but I assumed that was just because their names are so synonymous with Wicked I didn't realise they were actually going to be there!!

I really enjoyed the small stage production about the Wise Ones and the Grimmerie it was brilliant in concept and execution for worldbuilding and lore but KRISTEN AND IDINA OMG wonderful oh my gosh. Now was it on the nose? Absolutely. But I don't think that it felt forced, I thought that if you didn't know who they were then even when Chenoworth was singing to Grande and Menzel was singing to Eviro then it still wouldn't have felt strange or out of place, but of course I'm looking at it through the lens of a fan receiving fan service so generally speaking even though I know it's fanservice I'm still going to enjoy it and it's possible that through another's eyes it would feel different. I thought it was brilliant though and nothing will take that away from me

I think it's fair to say that the pacing of Wicked is kind of messed up and I have heard concern that because of that the act 2 movie will struggle; pacing of act 2 does get messy, but I cannot fault them in any way for splitting it into two movies ok because this was spectacular and I would not want to cut a single thing from it so yeah that's kind of all my thoughts on that point; I think that even if act 2 is harder to bring to screen that it can still be done in a high quality and successful way and especially after watching part 1 today I absolutely trust that this production can do that

I'm gonna now hop right back to No-One Mourns the Wicked (the pacing of this post is gonna be worse than the pacing of wicked). I was slightly concerned that Ariana Grande's intense recognisable-ness was going to take something away from the show because it would be hard to see the character she was playing rather than just Ariana Grande singing, if that makes sense, but from as early as No-One Mourns the Wicked my concerns were alleviated. Glinda is not an easy character to play, in my opinion, and she's not an easy character to play because she acts incredibly melodramatic in everything she does whilst her genuine emotions are incredibly subtle. What I saw in both Grande and Erivo was how fantastic their micro-expressions are and how much they can tell the audience with one or two features, often the eyes, alone. In No-One Mourns the Wicked , Galinda genuinely believes and will presumably continue to believe for the rest of her life that Elphaba is dead. And throughout her performance of the song, I more than once found it visibly notable that Glinda was on the verge of tears. She was smiling, she was singing, she was moving gracefully with her typical accentuated and dramatic movements, but the pain in her eyes was remarkable. This was a woman who believed that the only person she had ever had a genuine emotional connection with was dead, a woman who had lost not only someone she had manufactured a relationship with (Fiyero) and convinced herself that she was happy with what she knew was a false pretence of love to receive from, but also the only person in the world who had ever shown her real love and was finally being confronted by the fullest extent of the choices she had made but having to keep everything light and cheerful because of those very choices. Did that make sense? I hope I'm not just spouting nonsense. One of the most emphasised moments of this for me was when this massive effigy of Elphaba and one of the munchkinland residents hands Glinda the torch to light it; there's this blink and you miss it moment where Glinda looks at the torch, at the effigy, then back to the man who held it out to her, who's watching her expectantly, before she turns and tosses it on with a sense of urgency. Not only is this alone powerful, but I also think it's powerful that she throws the torch instead of standing at the effigy and taking care to set it alight firstly because she may not be able to bring herself to do so but also in a way that may be reflective of their relationship and the story: Glinda does not outrightly attack or harm Elphaba but she makes the choices that she makes, she throws her torch and whatever burns will burn.

I also felt that she captured the comedic elements of Glinda fantastically, with one of my favourite moments being when she melodramatically collapses kneeling in front of the bed as though she is sobbing into the quilt but just sits there perfectly still and the camera just stares at her for a few moments before she peeks up over her shoulder to see if Elphie's looking. The difference we can see between these two sides of Glinda's character was very well executed and I think we also see something of her more vulnerable side in some of these comedic moments, because ultimately she does (I'm going to talk about this later) feel unloved because of how shallow all of her relationships are and even in melodramatic, foolish or naive moments like the throwing herself on the duvet cover she is actively seeking attention because she equates attention to love - she so desperately claws her way to attention and popularity because she feels unloved and she thinks that this is love, so when it doesn't give her the feeling she was searching for she becomes convinced that it was because she doesn't have enough of it yet and she needs more. I thought that she was incredibly well captured and presented from all angles with her very many layers being well laid out.

Again with the insane jumping around but let's just dive headfirst into a couple of little details that I noticed whilst I'm thinking about them - during the Wizard and I when Elphaba is imagining her success and her dream she runs through a cornfield!! As though she is running towards Fiyero!!! I loved it. Like it's so tiny, but I love it. Another tiny one - loved the silver shoes for Nessa as a hark to the original book wherein the magic slippers were silver, but then in Popular when Glinda is going through her wardrobe and pulling out all these different options she gives Elphaba a pair of ruby red slippers and then decides against them and throws them away again!! Loved it as a teeny little reference. I also really lovedddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd and this one is more meaningful to the story but when Elphie has her magic outburst at Shiz right at the start where she sends Nessa into the air and stuff gets thrown everywhere, there's a statue on the wall of the Wizard that gets smashed. When it smashes, it's briefly visible that beneath the statue the wall was originally painted with a mural of animal scholars!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED this detail, I was BUZZING. Like you saw it long enough to see what it was, there were three animals with a bear in the middle and I think the bear was wearing maroon robes and they were all clearly scholars

My personal theories on this is that either they were highly valued intellectual alumni of Shiz or that they founded the school, however there mya be lore standing on them that I am unaware of I started reading the book a long time ago and never finished it (I really want to read it but I haven't got around to it yet. I read enough to know what happened to Dr Dillimond in the book but I don't remember a lot after that)

Speaking of Dr Dillimond, I'm not sure if I just missed a detail or something implicit but I wasn't sure that they gave any real explanation as to why the poppies didn't knock Fiyero out????

On Fiyero: Johnathon Bailey understands Fiyero so well and it was brilliant. His performance very much took in the different layers of the character and the split between what he presents to the world and the intensity of the emotions he hides. Fiyero experiences emotion so intensely and feels such an intense response to others' emotions as well, and I think that you could really tell that whilst not feeling like anything was being taken away from the charismatic charming persona that you knew he was putting on. One of my favourite moments between him and Elphaba in this was when she siad something along the lines of 'you aren't as shallow and self-loving as I thought' and he replies something along the lines of 'how dare you? I genuinely love myself and I am deeply shallow' and I love this not only because his humour is enjoyable and his defence mechanisms are interesting but also because she immediately breaks through and says no, you're unhappy.

I promised thoughts on Dancing Through Life so whilst we're on Fiyero -> I don't at all intend to say that Bailey isn't a good singer because he is, I just thought that to some degree his voice didn't stand out from the chorus' voices in the same way that Erivo's and Grande's do and so the song did necessarily have the same bite to it as some of the others did/ That isn't to say that it wasn't a fantastic scene, because it was, and I loved the choreography and I was obsessed with the spinning bookshelves and all of it, the bringing the beat of the song in through the movement of the books was brilliant, and again he is a good singer and I think that having the actor's own voice in the movie is almost always the right decision

Okay I am going to make a post on its own about this as well because this is really long and I am so deeply obsessed with this I want to give it a chance to get proper discussion but one of my favourite propaganda-related details of this movie was Elphaba's nails. Yes, you read that right. Her nails.

In all of the imagery and posters of the 'Wicked Witch of the West' she is very often leaning forwards with her hands strangely position in the foreground and then her face behind them so your focus is drawn very quickly to the hands. In these images, her nails are always presented as extravagantly long, sharp, and claw-like. So in a world where animals are discriminated against and being used as the common enemy long before Elphaba is used as that enemy it's so fascinating that the dehumanisation of Elphaba has emphasis on her hands appearing strange or 'unnatural' and it makes me think of the line in Something Bad 'It's enough to give pause to anyone with paws' because that's where the emphasis on this distinction lies with no-one but humans having limbs that resemble hands - having Elphaba presented effectively as though she has claws in a world where animals are discriminated against and actively silenced, especially since she advocated against that silencing. And something I really enjoyed after having noticed the long nails in the posters during No-One Mourns the Wicked is that throughout the movie Elphaba has unapologetically long, beautiful nails that in a truly wonderful subtle aspect of Erivo's acting we get the sense she cares about even though they are never discussed. When she and Glinda go to the Emerald City we see this montage of their day during One Short Day and one of the things they do is go to a nail salon and we see Elphaba excitedly showing off to Glinda her long pretty nails that she loves so much and that make her feel pretty. Again this is such a massive testament to Erivo's acting skills because there's no dialogue about it but we know that she is so excited and we know that this is one of very few times that Elphie has felt pretty, she loves her nails. And they get used so horrifyingly against her. The nail salon is such a brief, subtle moment but it's so very well executed. There's also an earlier scene where she's alone with Madame Morrible practicing magic and when she reaches out to make the hand movements the camera cuts to show the shadow of her hand and it creates this emphasis on the length of her nails and how because of the shape of her hand midway through the movement the image looks like a claw or like a very stereotypical evil witch hands sort of thing. I also think that this moment is particularly powerful bc she's alone with Morrible and everything that Elphie does under Morrible's instruction is perfectly natural but what is seen on Morrible's stationary on the desk below her is representative of the propaganda that Morrible will turn the actions that she forced Elphaba to do into.

Also more propaganda stuff I could talk about the use of the word 'witch' for all goddamn eternity so I'm not going to hark on about it now but I will say that a piece of media like this one cannot be created today without acknowledgemnt of the difference between the word 'wtich' and the word 'wizard' and how they are presented, and I think that this was really interestingly handled in the word 'witch' not being said in the prequel aspect of it until Morrible labels her 'this Wicked Witch'.

Okay I think this is going to be what I finish off with but if you know this account you know that I LOVE a parallel and I was obsessed with the parallel drawn between family dynamics in Elphie's relationship with Nessa and her father, and then with the family that she's looking for and briefly thinks she could find with Morrible, the wizard, and Glinda. Yeoh said in an interview that Morrible's betrayal is realising that the mother figure isn't who you thought she was. Madame Morrible becomes Elphaba's maternal figure, and to her living memory realistically her only maternal figure, from very early on and this maternal view of her that we have through Elphaba's eyes is very much existent by the time we reach Sentimental Man, wherein the idea of the Wizard being able to offer her some kind of paternal love, that she has never felt because her relationship with her father is so fraught, is brought forth. Sentimental Man was very well performed in my opinion, it was the right decision to keep it low and subtle and close because it created this very specific closeness between Elphie and the Wizard and we felt what she felt, which was the exact manipulation that the Wizard wanted her to feel. When Madame Morrible enters the scene we then have both of these parental-style figures present telling Elphaba how precious she is, how amazing she is, how much they believe in her - essentially all these different things that she has been denied her entire life. What I find particularly fascinating about this is that what gets created here is exactly Elphaba's existing family dynamic - because Glinda is there too. This is what Elphaba always wanted - a motherly figure, a fatherly figure, and a sisterly figure - but it still comes at the expense of the sister. Glinda is being actively diminished and put down whilst Elphaba is raised and complimented for the purpose of manipulation and to be used for their purposes rather than existing for herself, just as her father diminishes and hurts her whilst complimenting and idolising Nessa but also manipulating her & never allowing her to live her own life. There's a moment where they're all stood around the grimmerie to get the four of them in shot with Elphie looking over the book, Morrible encouragingly at her side, the Wizard watching on from behind, and Glinda leaning over Elphie's other side to try and squeeze herself into the picture and I think that this still alone captures the entire thing so very well.

In a way, this is why Glinda turned round - without Elphie there, she gets love. When Elphaba had parental figures over her and no Nessa present to be better than her, she felt loved; when Glinda has parental figures over her and no Elphaba present to be better than her, she feels loved. The fundamental difference between them in the moment of choice is arguably that Elphaba's love for others, primarily Nessa, will always be stronger than her need for love from others, whereas Glinda's need for love from others will always be stronger than her love for others, primarily Elphaba.

In this moment, Glinda's warped distinction between love and popularity, as I discussed it earlier, is finally put to direct test and even though she loves Elphie and is loved by her in a way that she has arguably never been loved (we saw just how shallow her relationship with her parents was upon the arrival at Shiz. It's as shallow as her friendships at Shiz and romance with Fiyero.) she chooses popularity because she has somehow convinced herself that superficial love from many is better than genuine love from few. Elphaba's love for Glinda is probably the most genuine affection she's experienced in her entire life - but it doesn't come from authority. Elphaba's love isn't coming from someone who can raise Glina up or give her advantages and ultimately she is always seeking the approval of authority, possibly because she felt like she never received it from the authority that was her parents when she was a child, and she finds that feeling in Morrible and the Wizard, and arguably in the power that Fiyero's family could give her as well.

Okay super quick additions that i just remembered:

I loved loved loved the addition of her falling from the palace and seeing young Elphaba in the reflection and once again so freaking much could be said about the strength of Erivo's acting here it was truly beautiful and I found it like genuinely nerve-wracking even though I knew she obvs had to make it and the song wasn't over yk but yeah it was fantastic

When Elphaba's running from the soldiers & the flying monkeys just after the monkeys have been told to attack her and Glinda is chasing after her. They go through a narrow corridor of the palace lined by windows, and the wall are made of green brick. The sunset beyond casts pink light through every window. Every window is pink, all the walls are green. Elphaba is running and Glinda is following, trying to tell her to come back to the Wizard. As they run the flying monkeys start smashing the windows, so for every pace that they take THE PINK SHATTERS AND ONLY THE GREEN IS LEFT BEHIND. They are running towards Defying Gravity and for every step closer to it they become the less intertwined the colours are. The pink shatters and the green is left behind. It was visual poetry.

Okay I hope that this insane rambling made sense, I was partially transcribing this from voicenotes I sent to my friends when I got back after the movie and they actually got more than this so apologies to them and thank you for indulging me, and thank you to anyone who has bothered to read this lol I hope it was interesting - overall, excellent movie and I loved it!! Already can't wait for part 2

[imblocking-you]

Watching Death's Game because I like suffering 👍

[sapphicmsmarvel]

azriel: mr grumpy and his miss sunshine

Notes: super domestic

god im so fucking single it actually fucking hurts

This man would prefer to never see people. 

He loves his family and you, those are the only people he needs. 

You however, are a little social butterfly. Everywhere you two go, someone knows you. When random people say ‘good morning’ to you, you smile brightly and respond enthusiastically in kind. Or, you’ll randomly just speak to a stranger and end up laughing with them. 

You do not see yourself this way but he does. And then everyone in the inner circle would make jokes about you talking to random people and how it stresses Rhysand out because he doesn’t want you kidnapped. 

“By no means are you ignorant to the world's threats, I just don’t trust people with my figurative baby sister.” He explained when you asked him if he thought you were stupid. 

He called you his sunrise, you were bright, warm, sweet, you gave him hope. Meanwhile, you called him a grumpy bat. Sometimes you called him a grumpy old bat. Depends on if his bones were creaking or not. 

You were a magnet for people. Randomly, people would say things to you. Or you’d offer to help people if they needed it (but only when you had one of the guys with you, you didn’t trust everyone easily). 

You made friends everywhere you went, he however, kinda just sat behind and watched you interact with people. Made sure people didn’t take advantage of your kind heart, and nobody was being a pig with you. 

Azriel loved how social you were, he also adored how introverted you were. 

For example, while out at Ritas, he’d watch you be chatty and then just slow down. He can see when you start to zone out when your social battery has completely run out. So he’ll always say that he’s tired and wants to go home so the blame doesn’t go to you because it makes you anxious and you’ll feel the need to apologize constantly. 

You two would hold hands coming home, bumping into each other and giggling. You may be socially burnt out, but you never felt that way with him. 

He loved the “after” part of a night out. Watching you wipe your makeup off delicately with cloth, then hop in the bath with him. You’d delicately wash his wings as he hates feeling like they’re dirty. You two scrub each other down. When he gets to washing your hair, he’s so incredibly gentle with his hands. The idea of even accidentally pulling your hair hurts him. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he massages your scalp. He’ll then massage your shoulders, causing your head to drop down, your chin against your chest causing your spine to slightly stretch out and release the tension from being social. 

After the bath, you'd do your skincare, he’d watch as you gently apply toner, serums and creams. Then you’d throw on his ratty tunic and a pair of oversized shorts. You’d sit your (fine) ass on the counter and pull his hands into your lap to apply creams on them. Because he insisted he wanted to take care of his hands more. 

Once you two ended up in bed, you’d turn on the lap by your bedside and begin to read your novel. He would write in a notebook. You suggested he try journaling when he talked about his thoughts overcrowding his brain. 

Eventually you two would settle down together, he would lay on his side, his arm around your waist pulling you to his chest. Your head on a pillow that holds both of your heads with his arm underneath it. He refused to let you sleep by the window because he wants to be able to protect you.

The window’s open, letting the cool night breeze in. The only sounds are your breathing and the drapes billowing. 

You felt content in your husband's arms. Knowing he may be a grumpy introverted bat, but he’s yours. He loves you as yourself. 

He’s your home.

[jesncin]

A Queer and Asian review of Xanthe Zhou + Spirit World

I haven't exactly been thorough about how I specifically feel about Xanthe Zhou as "representation" for people like me and a part of me didn't want to be too harsh since they're a fan favorite and I'm sure the writer did their best and what not- but there is this sense of "I'm not even whelmed I'm underwhelmed" by Xanthe as a character. I don't dislike them, but I can't say I'm a fan if I don't find them particularly interesting.

I'm sure for a lot of people the idea of a Chinese non-binary anime sword wielding, bomber jacket wearing, shaved cut having, envoy between the living and spirit world character is a novel concept. But when you've lived the reality this character attempts to represent (ghosts and spirits are a tuesday where I'm from) and have sought out that representation from within your own communities, Xanthe pales in comparison like a really corporate product. So I want to talk about intersectional storytelling and what a holistic queer Asian superhero could look like.

Again I'm aware Spirit World was written by a queer Chinese author (+ an all Chinese team) and as a fellow author who has to navigate mainstream publishing and deal with attempts at sandpapering authenticity for capitalism I want to stress that I Get The Struggle. But I'm allowed to be critical of how the final product turned out. Some of this is subjective musing even.

Here's the premise of Xanthe Zhou's character: When Xanthe was a very tiny kid, they were run over by a car when they were walking alone at night in the rain. They're resurrected by a powerful spirit called Po Po to be the half-dead, half-living Envoy of the Spirit World.

Everything about Xanthe is exhaustively corporate for me. Like industry planted representation designed to be as safe as possible and attempts at being intersectional are limited. Spirit World features Cassandra Cain Batgirl and John Constantine Hellblazer because that's how we get Asian and queer DC fans to hop onto out new queer Asian character! Xanthe doesn't get to stand out in their own world, or have an established cast system the way Kong Kenan gets to. Spirit World suffers from being a follow up to an Event comic, with all these characters crossing over- but it didn't rise to the challenge of including Batgirl and Johnstantine in meaningful ways. The story would've been better if they were replaced by characters unique to Xanthe's cast system.

I've become pretty cynical about scenes like this one. It's a scene where Xanthe is forcefully invited to have dinner with their family they haven't seen in years. The transphobic dinner pages made rounds on social media because "ooh look at John Constantine gendering a non-binary person correctly even when Xanthe's family keeps misgendering them", and "whoa even the magic system respects a trans person's name". It's free marketing, you can see comments on these posts asking what comic this is from to read more. People will start discourse over "Constantine going woke" and the defenders will pull up receipts that "John has always been a lefitst" and so on and so forth. I saw the promos for Spirit World, but these panels were what piqued my interest early on.

My twin and I were taking turns reading Spirit World- Jes asked Cin (who finished reading first) "so what about that transphobic dinner scene? Was it there? Are there other scenes that talk about it?" and Cin said "nope that's it. The rest is magic fight scenes and spirit world stuff." And honestly that feels calculated. It's like that Jenny Nicholson Star Wars Hotel thing: "whoa if they have this droid and this animatronic alien performer, imagine what else they have!" but nope. That's it. Just enough to fit in a tik tok promo. Just enough to fit in a tweet and make rounds. It's not like Alan Scott's Green Lantern solo, where his queer identity isn't limited to one scene designed to go viral. The whole narrative holistically discussed what it was like to be a gay man in that era. Spirit World on the other hand felt like it had a representation quota to fulfill before moving on to the generic Superhero Stuff- an entirely separate plot.

Then there's Xanthe and John. As a Hellblazer purist I already knew this was going to be a hard read for me since I'm not a fan of DC!Constantine but I've talked before about how Spirit World still has that appeal for me because sometimes og Hellblazer is a pain to read as a person of color. Maybe I can enjoy the fantasy of Constantine being an ally to an Asian person instead of fetishizing them like he did in those old Vertigo comics (people love to leave that out when they're defending Constantine as an ally but whatever). And people kept talking about how this is an elder and younger queer friendship dynamic and I love those.

So where was that? Sure, John genders Xanthe correctly over transphobic dinner and comforts them afterwards. But nothing he says or does is specific to a queer elder. Any ally or character can say these things or do these gestures. He doesn't speak from personal experience about how "it gets better" or "I know what it's like" it's just. "yeah throwing up in Gotham is great I do it all the time". Excuse me if I don't think that's substantial.

Ooh but the ghost of Johnstantine's ex boyfriend Oliver showed up! And then there was a bi joke about how John hooks up with a clone of himself a "dozen times" because he's such a slut amirite, gays. Diversity win. I expected bi jokes from DC!Constantine but marketing this as a queer narrative or generational friendship is a stretch.

Spirit World would've been a more holistic queer narrative if Wan Yujing, the villainous corrupted spirit that wanted to be remembered properly (or reincarnated, depends on the writer's mood)-was revealed to be a queer person. This would've been a fantastic opportunity to recontextualize Xanthe's personal transphobic encounter with their family into a larger systemic theme of queer historical erasure. The original meaning of a "dead name" is the idea that when a trans person dies, their family will put the wrong name on their grave. It's literally their "dead" name, erasing their legacy in writing. So why not include that in your conflict?

Wan Yujing is revealed to be a famous poet, slowly forgotten because "time erodes everything" (vague and bad writing btw). Why not pitch something more motivated and specific? Make it so that she wrote queer literature that was destroyed. Make it so that her lover was rewritten in history books as her "friend". Then when Xanthe makes the promise to remember Wan Yujing as she truly was, it'd be a holistic act of queer recognition and solidarity. But instead the resolution is just Xanthe Zhou promising "hey I'll remember you" and Wan Yujing just takes their word for it.

Can we talk about the huge missed opportunity of what this dialogue implies? Xanthe proclaims that they are both living and dead, granted the living's power to remember and the dead's immortality. Why was this not thematically paired with their experience as a non-binary person struggling in a cis-heteronormative world. Heck, why not pair this with how they're a queer Asian American, a perpetual foreigner wherever they go? Not Asian enough for traditional spaces, but not white enough for a majority of queer American spaces. Are we worried we'll scare off the white audience if this got too intersectional?

Xanthe gets more fleshed out under a different writer (Jeremy Holt) for one of the DC Pride stories (2023). Here, Xanthe talks about how being in the land of the living feels like going about a routinic obligation; "Reminding me that home isn't necessarily where the heart is". This is so much like the disassociated way trans people go about life before figuring themselves out. It's also like how a perpetual foreigner doesn't fit in anywhere. But it's not paralleled to that experience. The fantasy aspects of Xanthe Zhou the Envoy, are completely separate from the very few personal civilian parts of them. Like they're a Superhero first and a person second. The later half of this story gets overtaken by a team up with Batwoman, because once you have a new character set in Gotham you are at the whims of being absorbed into the greater Batfam conglomerate.

There's interesting concepts at the center of Xanthe's character. But it's hard to give credit to writing that doesn't follow any of that through. Xanthe's a hero motivated by making sure the dead are remembered and respected. That's a decent motivation in general, and a pretty resonant one for a queer hero-but everything surrounding the execution of that idea feels so half-assed to me. Xanthe's origin story has so many plot holes, it feels like it was thought up in 5 minutes.

Why was their death just some random car accident and not something more motivated? Why did the all powerful Po Po decide to resurrect them specifically? Where's the tension in any of the many excessive fight scenes in Spirit World, if Xanthe's apparently immortal? Also they age? What are the stakes for a character like this? This isn't even covering the shoddy writing for their transphobic family drama (Why did they just stalk their family after being resurrected? Why did their mom recognize them even though they've been gone and have aged for 15 years? so many questions ugh).

(why was this toddler walking around alone in the rain with their own umbrella. In Gotham. What is this-)

I casually propose that instead have Xanthe's origin be that they died as a runaway trans teen who went missing and was murdered. Maybe because the way police and society in general don't look into the disappearances of trans poc, Xanthe's death went completely unnoticed. Maybe as Xanthe's dying, Po Po sees their determination to fight for the forgotten and chooses to resurrect this kid specifically. Then we'd have a really motivated origin story that ties their identity to their heroism. Instead we get these over the top fantasy concepts + transphobic dinner with my talisman wielding mom.

Spirit World is a fun enough action fantasy with troubled pacing and generic MCU-quippy dialogue. It's so overwhelmed by it's own spectacle that we don't get a chance to get to know our new hero. What is Xanthe's character development? What flaw do they grow out of or overcome? If I'm honest outside of the attempt at quippy banter, what even is their personality? The ending is rushed; not only is the conflict resolved with Xanthe just promising to remember a dead poet, but they also make a deal to work with the Spirit World authorities. Because it's always so fun to watch queer people assimilate to the powers that oppress.

In one of these action sequences, I guess the writer decided there needed to be a semblance of themes to make it feel like the readers' time isn't being wasted. So while Cassandra Cain Batgirl from Detective Comics and John Constantine from Vertigo Hellblazer are holding the giant anime sword, Xanthe goes on an internal monologue about how change is natural and people's fears make them resistant towards it. Xanthe says that to embrace magic, "you need to look at everything you think you know about the way the world should be...and imagine something new."

It's a nice sentiment that isn't reinforced by anything else in the story, but it does make me think. What is "new" about Xanthe Zhou to someone like me who seeks out representation like this? I've seen queer characters with the shaved hairstyle, I've seen queer coded Asian girlies with the bomber jacket, heck I've even seen the giant anime sword. I kinda cringe at seeing "giant spiritual sword" at this point even. But you know what I don't see as often? In real life I've seen the bravest Asian queer people reclaim cultural hairstyles, clothing, practices and beliefs (that originally excluded them). I've seen them join communities and create entire subcultures and lingo in a way that would be unrecognizable to the typical queer readers who enjoy Hellblazer-but I certainly don't see it reflected in fiction a lot.

(Is it really new if I've seen it in a Disney movie)

The premise of a Chinese American non-binary half-dead-half-living Envoy for the dead is something so metaphysical in its intersectionality, world building, stakes and themes that it would require Sandman-levels of out-the-box creativity to pull off. Which is why getting a generic action adventure (+ one scene about transphobic dinner with the family) feels so disappointing. I wish Spirit World took its own words to heart; I wish it took everything we're used to, everything we've known about how the world is and dare to imagine something actually new.

[utilitycaster]

In thinking about the new information we've recently learned about the gods of Exandria, I started thinking about epic fantasy novels. The thing is, Exandria's deity lore is not actually terribly unique. This isn't a bad thing! But the idea of an idyllic age when gods were not just powerful but present and united; the fall of one (or many) gods and an ensuing devastation this causes; and the gods subsequently withdrawing or diminishing is a very, very common one in fantasy (and, to be totally honest, world religion). Similarly, the idea of a much more advanced age that has since passed into distant memory is also an extremely common trope. I think it's less common to have both of these tropes working in tandem though certainly not unheard of (hello, Wheel of Time), and the nature of the storytelling method in effect here means that the fallen advanced civilization is more thoroughly developed in the worldbuilding than it is in many other stories, but none of this is a wildly new concept.

I want to talk about genre, medium, and actual play, which is sort of both and sort of neither. I think people talking about actual play tend to mash all three of these things together when they really shouldn't.

(this is a long one so it's under a cut to not wreck your dash)

The genre of Critical Role's main campaigns is heroic fantasy, which I know I've covered in the past, and of epic scale. This is honestly pretty typical of D&D. NADDPod (especially Bahumia) and TAZ Balance and Graduation are also arguably within this same broad genre, just more comedic and looser with aspects of the worldbuilding.

Despite the fact that Brennan is very well-versed in fantasy novels, D20's main deal is that it's not classic heroic fantasy. I think this is actually a bigger factor in why people prefer CR to D20 than many people think. The shorter length is definitely another factor (though that too feels almost related - the critically acclaimed indie comic run to Critical Role's series of doorstopper novels) but Dimension 20, while it comments on classic heroic fantasy with Fantasy High and Escape from the Bloodkeep, only ever dips into anything actually approaching that genre with the Game of Thrones-inspired low fantasy seasons and, funnily enough, with the Dungeons and Drag Queens miniseries. Otherwise, it's telling school stories, urban fantasy, space operas, heists, murder mysteries, comedies of manners, and action-adventure. Similarly, TAZ Steeplechase and Amnesty very much aren't of this genre. Critical Role meanwhile touches on supernatural horror with Candela Obscura.

Actual Play is a means of telling a story, and typically the system at least puts in place the general expectations of what can be done within the improv. Some systems (such as Candela Obscura or Blades in the Dark) set a particular genre; others, like D&D, favor one but permit a good degree of flexibility. Actual Play is not really the same as genre, as discussed above; D20 genre hops quite readily, as does The Adventure Zone, even while using the same TTRPG systems.

Finally, there's medium. This one is easy. Critical Role and D20 are filmed shows (though are available as podcasts); so is, to give a non-Actual Play example, The Bear. NADDPod and TAZ are podcasts. So are (for example) The Silt Verses and Midst.

The reason I've outlined all of the above is to say that I think people tend to assume simply being actual play is somehow closer than sharing genre. This is also to an extent true for longform fiction podcasts (though it is less true for TV and books). I think this has led to an influx of fans of actual play (and, tbh, podcasts) who aren't familiar with the genres within which actual play shows are working.

I do not say this to gatekeep (though honestly, gatekeeping is both not inherently bad and also, not possible in this context). It's more of an exploration of what I think may be a reason why, particularly in the Critical Role fandom, it feels some of the Campaign 3 opinions feel somewhat half-baked.

You can be a fan of heroic fantasy and enjoy actual play but not actually be terribly into actual play that isn't heroic fantasy. I think some people who loved Critical Role Campaign 1 but nothing after that and no other actual play fit into that category. I think Campaign 1's fandom was, indeed, heavily skewed towards fans of fantasy and fans of D&D (as a venue to roleplay one's own fantasy story and as a game itself heavily shaped by heroic fantasy fiction) more so than anything else. If you like, say, The Kingkiller Chronicles or the Stormlight Archives or the Wheel of Time or Lord of the Rings? You might like Critical Role.

By 2018, and definitely by 2019-2020, the landscape had changed, and the attitude was much more one of "if you like this actual play, you'll like this one" which is actually...nowhere near as true, in my mind, as recommendations based on genre. I think this is also when people started folding in "longform speculative fiction podcasts in general" which to be honest was already an issue with the medium of longform fiction podcasts. Wolf 359, The Silt Verses, Midst, The Penumbra Podcast, and any season of NADDPod are all longform, plot-based speculative fiction podcasts with queer representation, but that doesn't actually mean someone who likes one will like another. (Also? Queer rep? Gets treated like podcasts or actual play, to be honest. It's extremely possible to love only one of The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand, The Woods All Black, and The Priory of the Orange Tree despite all of these being novels with queer relationships, yet a lot of the time Queer Rep is treated as a genre, an "if you like this, you'll like that!")

I think it is true that there are people who enjoy actual play on a fairly general level (myself included), and with podcasts especially I think there are people who enjoy fiction delivered in this manner and people who have some difficulty with it. But I think there's a tendency to push people who like one actual play towards other actual play when they may be more interested in longform audio fiction, scripted or not; or might be inclined towards a particular genre. To go back to the examples I've given, someone who likes Candela Obscura might find The Silt Verses and The Woods All Black more appealing than, for example, Fantasy High, despite that also being filmed actual play, because the latter two are also supernatural horror with exploration of class.

Because actual play, in its weird not a medium, not a genre, but kind of both space is, well, in between spaces, it gets treated as the most specific element of works of fiction when that's not always true. The consequences, therefore, end up being twofold. You get people who come to AP series because they liked another one that doesn't actually have a ton in common, and it ends up hit or miss (this is one of my theories why the D20 fandom can be extremely weird about Critical Role; because it was pushed on them when it's really not what they're into, which is neither their nor CR's fault); and you get people coming to specific actual plays and enjoying them without much familiarity with their genres, which I think is behind some of the weirder C3 takes since C3 is arguably the first campaign that truly began after Actual Play began to be treated as a genre.

[wintersongstress]

— fiancé;

A/N: This is very sappy but I don't think I'm sorry 🫣

As the lush slopes of the English countryside sails past the window, there is no sense of past or present in Simon’s mind. With your hand in his, all the rest floats away, a blur of green and white, and he is lulled for the first time into a dream of a future—hopeful, solid, and within his grasp. Not the smoke and haze it used to be, but a vision which gathered light and clarity. Like dawn on a riverbank, the fog which settles after a long, cool night lifts. Suddenly Simon could imagine the sunrise of being yours and all the days that came after.

You are none the wiser to his pivotal reflections, absorbed in reading a novel while the train wends smoothly along the rail tracks. Your hand is nestled safely in his and you occasionally stroke a thumb over his knuckle. The sun twists a kaleidoscope of streaks across your features, with patches of sky in-between the forest hues, and he is transfixed in this moment. If only his squad mates could see him now, Simon thinks. He always got as far away from it all as he could when he was on leave. When he was with you. He softened into someone else, someone he liked to be.

Never in his life had being with someone and spending time with them felt so liberating and worthwhile, nor brought him such serene happiness. Together, you made memories he wishes he could trap in time, like an insect encapsulated in amber.

That morning, he had followed your adventure-seeking whims out of bed, into packing a lunch and dressing for sunshine, and hopping on a train out of the noise of the city. Through the sprawling, picturesque gardens of one of England’s many castles, you walked beside him, your graceful arm looped through the solidity of his. He liked it that way: showing the world this beautiful woman was his, and how he intended to keep her. Anyone could plainly see that the two of you were together, and were happy.

The air smelled of summer grass and a pond rippled with the glide of two swans where you found a place to rest this afternoon, at the water’s edge beneath the drooping shade of a willow. On a blanket you spent the better part of an hour lying within the mystery of those branches swaying in the dreaming wind, meanwhile Simon kissed and kissed you, long and deep, slow and sweet. Your skirt petaled around your legs and you smiled up at him, tracing the divot of his nose with a fingertip before he brought his mouth to yours again.

Though your blouse had hitched above your waist and the skin of your stomach was warm and soft beneath his wandering palm, he kept his caresses leashed; docile and satisfied. When he gazed at you—at the inimitable color of your eyes, the tilt of your smile, and the subtle furrow of your brow—all his heart could think was, my love, and pressed his forehead to yours. And it was enough. It was all he wanted. What more could he ask for?

Presently, you flip a page, and the sunlight catches the silver of your earrings—glittering, graceful, drawing his eyes down the elegant column of your neck. His fingers were in the mindless midst of tracing the lines of your palm, searching, he realized, for the one which promised a long life. With him. That was what he wanted. And the revelation makes him stop short.

He wanted to put a ring on that caring, loving hand which laid in his. Simon knew it with more certainty than anything. How pretty the sight would be, how complete the picture. To feel the facets of an emblematic stone beneath his thumb would make it all real and cast all the pain endured in his life far behind.

Upon reaching the summit of his thoughts, a feeling seizes his gut, worse than the leap out of a plane to descend into a combat zone. He never imagined this for himself; all the happiness, security, and commitment he was ready to provide for you which seemingly came from thin air. But what was more terrifying was the alternative: letting you go. Never choosing that path the one and only time it opened up to him. Never being brave enough to be the man who goes after what he wants and communicates it.

Sensing his shift in mood, your hand slides out of his grasp, trailing up his forearm. He finds your gaze fixed to him, soft with a question, oblivious to his tumultuous epiphany. There was no mask he could put on with you: it was all plainly written on his face. The way you sidle closer, pressing your arm against his, the roiling doubt and uncertainty abates and the fabric of the dream weaves tight. If he were to ask, you would say yes. Because you’re tracing that same line in his palm with the same intent, and his heart beats again.

[2baabbies]

skz bingo; #7, she/her pronouns, with chan?? maybe some sort of bookstore meet cute where reader can't reach a certain book that's on a shelf just out of her reach, but chan is a little taller than her so he manages to crowd against her back and grab the book for her?? 👀 I don't mind either sfw or nsfw, whichever feels like it fits the fic best!

my dear, I couldn’t make chan taller for fear of excluding the tall girlies ;w; but I think I still worked it in well. and I hope you like hyunlix, because they’re in the background fulfilling my bookkeeper/florist couple fantasies. I also split the difference between n/sfw with extraflirty!chan, enjoyyy 🫶🏻

🖤 read me like a book (bangchan x reader) 🖤

Pairings: chan x reader, background hyunlix

Words: 1170 (I gave up on the world limit)

Humour + Suggestive (no smut) + Fluff

fem!reader

Request guidelines here!

!!ATTENTION!!

Reposting this fic to other platforms, including as a translation, is expressly prohibited. Do not copy, alter, or claim this fic as your own. Absolutely no permission is given to anyone to post my works, even with credit, and this fic should only appear on Ao3 or Tumblr under my accounts. Reposting is not only plagiarism, but a direct violation of my wishes as the original writer and owner. Please respect writers and don’t steal!

Likes, reblogs, asks and comments are very welcome and appreciated <3

~~~

Felix has been flirting with Hyunjin for over ten minutes, which is only a problem for you because he is sitting on the only ladder in the entire bookstore. The shop owner sits on the middle rungs as the florist leans against the wall and dramatically tells him about his morning. Felix clutches the bundle of white and yellow daffodils Hyunjin brought for him to his chest with a dreamy smile.

Residing on one of the upper shelves, out of your reach, is a new romance novel that you came to purchase. You steal a glance at Hyunjin and Felix, then continue glaring at your target. Now, it was not just the minor inconvenience souring your mood, but the envy of seeing the two men together. You felt incredibly unlucky in comparison to the perfect couple chatting away in the corner. You were tired of reading about romance, and more than ready to find it for yourself.

The tips of your fingers just brush the spine of one of the copies as you try again, and you sigh in defeat. Climbing the shelf would be entirely too hazardous, although you are getting desperate enough at this point to try it. You had been waiting for this book for months. But, as miserable as you were, you refused to interrupt Felix and Hyunjin.

“Hey there,” You look over your shoulder to face the man that speaks to you, “You, uh, look like you could use a little help?”

“I’ve got it.”

The speed in which you turn away is criminal. The stranger is incredibly handsome, and you would be damned if you let the cutest man to ever walk into this bookstore see the smut you were trying to pull off the shelf. He clears his throat gently and you peek over your shoulder at him.

“Hm, are you sure? I’ve got to grab something up there anyway.”

“O-Okay. I-If you wouldn’t mind…”

You are about to move when the man drops a stepstool behind you and springs onto it with ease. He braces one hand over your shoulder and leans in, his chest brushing against your back as he grabs the books. Your breath catches as he hops down again, and you will yourself to breathe as you turn around. You inhale sharply as he does not hand the book over to you, but flips through it instead. He then reads that lovely little page of content warnings- mainly kinks- listed by the author at the beginning of the book.

Your face burns as he hums and casually places it in your hand.

“Here’s your book.”

“It’s not mine,” You blurt quickly.

“Oh? Did you want a different one?”

You clutch it to your chest.

“N-No! I-I’m buying it… for my friend. I don’t read this stuff.”

“Oh, I see,” There is a troublesome little glint in his eye, “That’s a shame. That author is quite popular. Maybe you should give it a try?”

You squirm under his playful gaze. You wish you could just melt into the bookcase to escape this conversation.

“No.”

“No? Why not?”

“It’s not… realistic…”

His eyebrows quirk but he looks satisfied with your answer. Felix interrupts the tense moment as he begins leaving the bookstore with Hyunjin.

“Hey, Chan, I’m taking my break now. You got an eye on the cash?”

“Yeah, mate, you’re good. I’ll see ya in a bit.”

Hyunjin gives you an excited wave, which you return shyly, as Felix adds:

“Oh, y/n, I put a book aside for you. It’s behind the counter. Chan, her name is on it.”

“Alright.”

“Thank you,” You murmur.

The doorbell chimes as the door falls shut behind them, and you are left alone with Chan. He kicks up the stepstool and catches it one hand.

“Well, y/n,” He coos in his lovely accent, “I’ll be at the cash if you need anything. Give me a shout if you have any questions, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah, sure.”

He winks and walks behind the counter, settling in and opening the book he pulled from the shelf. You stall for a bit, then steel your nerves and approach the checkout. Chan sets his book aside and smiles as you set yours on the counter. He finds the book Felix set aside for you, and it is the exact same book you pulled from the shelf.

The road to Hell is truly paved with good intentions.

Chan pauses then coyly asks, “I guess you don’t want two of these, hm?”

You puff your cheeks.

“No.”

He chuckles and begins ringing up your purchase.

“Okay, I won’t tease you anymore. You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know?”

“I’m not embarrassed.”

He side-eyes you playfully.

“Alright. Are you paying with cash or card?”

“Cash.”

You quickly pull the bill from your pocket and hand it to Chan. You are both quiet as he makes your change then hands it back to you. You count it then furrow your brow gently.

“Something wrong?”

“Um, it seems… You gave me extra.”

He checks the receipt then looks at your hand as you hold it out to him.

“No, it’s right.”

“You gave me a discount?”

You drop the change in your pocket and accept the book and receipt as he hands them to you.

“Of course. Pretty girls shouldn’t have to pay full price.”

You fluster.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to tease me anymore?”

He rests his chin in his hand and leans his elbows on the counter with a smirk.

“That wasn’t teasing. That was flirting.”

You clutch the book to your chest and duck your blushing face.

“Well…”

He giggles and the charming sound startles you to look up again.

“Sorry. I’ll stop.”

“I-It’s okay.”

“Hm?”

“Uh, you don’t have to stop.”

Chan smiles warmly.

“Only if you like it.”

“I, um, I do.”

“Okay then. Well, I hope your friend likes the book.”

“It’s almost worse when you pretend you don’t know…”

“Well, for the record, I believed you a little bit.”

“Sure.”

“I did,” He purrs, “And I would agree with you. I tried to read those books but they weren’t really my thing.”

“You did?”

“Mhm, like you said: it wasn’t realistic. If you’d like an example of something more realistic though, I’d be happy to show you.”

You roll your eyes as a grin breaks out on his face. Although he delivered the line with confidence, his whole face is flushed like yours.

“I’ll keep that in mind…”

Chan winks as you walk away.

“Have a good day!”

You rush out of the bookstore and pause outside as you notice something sticking out of the book you just purchased. You flip it open to see a scrap of paper with a phone number written on it. You look through the window of the bookstore to see Chan, giving you a fluttery wave as you piece it all together. You huff and cover your face as you stomp away, but you cannot suppress your charmed smile.

[yanderelovebites]

It’s been some time since I’ve been on here… but I’ve been having this idea on my mind for awhile. Yandere dollmaker with a darling who reads Yandere stories—she knows the signs but isn’t the best at avoiding getting kidnapped because she thinks “I’m not the person people obsess over”. Have Yandere be an actual label in this world. Have it be an arranged marriage. Have her freak out because by law she has to know her fiancé is a Yandere and she knows he’s also a dollmaker. Have her remember every creepy Yandere dollmaker story ending up with their partner being turned into a doll…

And after meeting him get embarrassed because he finds the stereotype ridiculous and depending on which novel it is, hilarious. Have it obvious he is disgusted at the idea someone would literally make their target of affection into a doll. He says “It’s cliché at this point, like authors can’t make up their own ideas. I get maybe comparing them to a doll or doing things to make them doll like—but full blown make them a doll… UCK!”

Have dollmaker Yandere not help the case when he takes notes of the kind of clothes you wear and start sketching outfits. If darling has any deformities he’s already making the limbs to be exactly that. It absolutely doesn’t help that one time he makes you sit still so he can model a doll face after your face.

It gets worse when your parents decide you have to move in.

You see it all in real time. The outfits and at some point you see it. The doll he made to look like you. It was freaking you out and all he did was say “I made her just like you~”

You have further reason not to believe he wouldn’t commit to your fears because the staff on hand mentioned how all his exes mysteriously disappeared. You’ve read too many novels to not assume the worst.

He gets tired of this chase for your affection so he makes you sit with him while he works. It’s creepy being around so many limbs and eyes that you feel follow you.

After weeks of that he’d finally address the comments. He doesn’t say what happened to them, just that “I didn’t turn them into dolls” to make you feel better. He’s aware of the fact you’re always going to hop back to that.

You don’t know why but his parents seemed relieved when you actually make it to the marriage date. It told you enough though-clearly his exes never did. Against your better judgement you had to ask in the honeymoon.

He tells you youll never find them. They’re gone, vile, and didn’t deserve anything. It doesn’t make sense…

It starts to, however when he lets you talk with the maid again who tell you more about the girls. From the sounds of each, they were of higher standing than you and more outgoing. They went to parties! Closest thing to going to parties you did was book signings… it was clear after hearing everything that maybe he hated their outgoing personality…

Until he finds out they’ve been talking about them. It’s clear they’re side subjects and the next time you see the maid, her eye is badly injured. You ask and she just tells you a punishment was given and she can no longer speak about the former ladies.

You kept digging and digging despite what you’ve read, honestly you were turning into the protagonist that dies if you look back on your actions.

Then you find not female skeletons, but male skeletons in the basement. They forgot to lock it. He found out.

He questioned why you went down there. He loses control, which resulted in your face getting hit and your ankle broke. He’s upset when he comes down from his manic moment. Holds you… then tells you who they are. The only one without a head was his first fiancée’s affair partner. The others were men who wanted his others and he had no idea if they actually had affairs or not.

That’s why he loves you so much. You don’t have those types of connections. He doesn’t have to doubt you. He takes you upstairs and has the maids get your ankle set. It still didn’t tell you what happened to the girls… but if he kept the skeletons of the affairs… what about the girls? He said he didn’t turn them into dolls, so what did he do?

You couldn’t leave bed for weeks. He himself came to take care of you. You were his everything,the one person who didn’t betray his love once… and creepily you begin to notice something… your ankle did not get better once you healed. You needed a cane to walk. Then one day someone poisoned your food.

He went on a rampage of the servants. Blaming each one as the doctors took care of you and you learn you’ll never walk again, but at least you’re alive. You’re still able to “provide” as the man put. Your husband didn’t see it the same way you did… you saw freedom lost, but he saw an opportunity gained. He loved taking care of you, choosing your clothes and brushing your hair…

So he started doing that again. You protested at first but it seemed futile. You didn’t understand how this all could happen. You did find out it was the brother of one of the maids that poisoned you.

You felt anxious all the time… as he does your hair, as he chooses your outfits, as he takes you with him throughout the home in your wheelchair.

But he doesn’t see why? He told you how this would end. Didnt he? Didn’t he laugh at the idea of literally turning you into a doll? Didnt he say he understood doing this that made them doll like… he may have not been the reason for your legs to be paralyzed, but now you are doll like. You need him to move around the house. He picks your outfits. He brushes your hair and teeth. He personally bathes you! The only thing you ever do by yourself is eat, but if it was his way he’d do it too.

And that’s without the NSFW

Might make a part two of what would happen if you passed away. I just find the ‘makes you an actual doll’ thing too overdone at this point for this type of Yandere.

[deanmarywinchester]

previous years: 2022, 2021 / list of worst sf/f/horror

the bangers were BANGING this year, I kept mentally readjusting my top 5 list every time I read something good so the honorable mentions are extremely honorable this year. I hope you read anything that sounds good from this list and tell me about it!

top 5:

chain gang all stars by nana kwame adjei-brenyah: when I say that this book is like the hunger games for adults, I’m not making a glib comparison between two books about fighting to the death, I’m saying that I haven’t felt so intensely about a book since I stayed up late to tear through the hunger games and sob about it when I was thirteen. this book is satire as real and devastating as I’ve ever read, with action scenes that feel like they’re being dripped directly into my hindbrain and a unique and believable love story. put it on hold at your library literally RIGHT now.

the actual star by monica byrne: about a post-climate catastrophe utopian society built around a religion started by a teenage girl in 2012 based on mayan traditions, and also about the teenage girl, and also about the maya. this book made me crazy because the future society felt real enough to touch, with its radical openness and collectivity solving problems that exist today but causing new ones that are totally novel and meaty and interesting to dig into. read it if you’re interested in different ways of being.

the spear cuts through water by simon jiménez: really, REALLY good, fresh, original epic fantasy. jimenez picks a few perspectives to stick to but hops fluidly into bystanders’ brains to give you their perspectives, so even background characters feel fleshed-out and no one’s pain is dismissed as a side effect of heroic battles or whatever. highly recommended if you like framing narratives and stories about stories, and like epic fantasy but wish it wasn’t mostly about finding acceptable enemies to slaughter with cool swords

the dispossessed by ursula k. le guin: I love how much this book is about hope as clear-eyed commitment to the boring and difficult work of a brighter and necessary future. sometimes the work of the glorious anarcho-communist revolution is leaving your university post and romantic partner for months at a time to dig irrigation ditches so nobody starves when there’s a drought. read this book for diplomatic conniving, a clash of values between a capitalist planet and its dissident moon, and hope.

imperial radch trilogy and its spinoffs by ann leckie: what if you were built to be a weapon of the empire, a serene sentient battleship with thousands of human bodies all containing your consciousness, and you lost all bodies but one and had to figure out how to be a person, singular and alone? what if you were a 19th century british military officer and you slept for a thousand years into the decline of the empire? what if you were grown in a vat to be a facsimile of human and then told off for eating all your siblings even though eating them was SO interesting? what then. leckie’s prose is incisive and funny, her unreliable narrators are wonderful, and her stories are intimate even though the backdrops are insanely huge. 👍.

honorable mentions:

house of leaves by mark z. danielewski: guys? anyone hearda this one? anyway. Something Is Wrong With This House horror with themes of storytelling and grief. recommending that you slam this book as fast as possible like I did so you can hold all its layers in your head at once.

the lathe of heaven by ursula k le guin: i thought I didn’t like ursula k le guin, and then I read this book, went OH and immediately devoured the hainish cycle. im so sorry miss ursula. this book about a hapless pacific northwesterner whose therapist is making him dream different realities into being is so sharp and sly and funny. themes of choices, ends and means.

he who drowned the world by shelley parker-chan: I liked the prequel to this addition to the radiant emperor duology. I LOVED this book. parker-chan has invented new and exciting modes of fucked-up codependency and im obsessed. historical light-fantasy with themes of ideals vs what it takes to reach them, gender, and regret.

babel by r. f. kuang: found the didacticism of this book annoying, but i really loved the concept of this novel and the way it slowly ratchets up the stakes. this novel is for people who want to smash the fun of the magic school genre against the reality of universities’ complicity in the imperial machine.

piranesi by susannah clarke: im late to this book but it’s such a weird little gem. peaceful yet unsettling. a man takes care of an endless house with an ocean inside it until he realizes the house is stealing his memories. themes of memory and devotion.

hell follows with us by andrew joseph white: I can only read YA these days if it’s a reread or if it’s genuinely good and really really strange. this is that. weird gory fantasy about a trans teen who escapes his militarized post-apocalyptic christian cult and finds himself turning into something Different. my only gripe is that he uses 2023-perfect language to describe transness and I think he should be inventing genders weve never even thought of. such is YA.

some desperate glory by emily tesch: a rolickin’ good space opera time with terrible women <3. a thriller about how the golden child of her isolated human-supremacist space station cult deprograms and the consequences of it. this feels like a grown-up SPOP until the theoretical physics gets involved. big fan

the library of mount char by scott hawkins: this book is harrow the ninth in suburbia until it becomes a more macabre version of the absurdity of the gomens apocalypse. God raises his children, sometimes brutally, to hone their powers in a neighborhood that mysteriously keeps out outsiders. came for the dysfunctional mess of the god-children and now I can never look at a grill the same way

runners up:

bunny by mona awad: books that make you WISH you were in mona awad’s MFA program where she must have been having a terrible time. the weird one out in an MFA program accepts overtures into the unbearable rich-girls’ clique to find out what they’re Up To. themes of aimlessness and the intersection of class with the art world

camp damascus by chuck tingle: have you ever wished that you were simply too autistic to be successfully demonically brainwashed into not having gay thoughts? horror-flavored thriller that was just fun

light from uncommon stars by ryka aoki: this author put a bunch of genres in a blender and came up with something fun and surprisingly cozy. an immortal woman must sell violinists’ souls to the devil in exchange for their fame, or he’ll drag her to damnation instead. there might be aliens and coffeeshop romance involved. definitely a blender.

the fragile threads of power by v. e. schwab: if you haven’t read a darker shade of magic and you like tightly paced high fantasy and historical fantasy elements, political intrigue, and pirates, read that first. if you have, there’s more now! lila bard are you free on thursday when I am free

the library of the dead & our lady of mysterious ailments by t. l. huchu: a teenage girl provides for her family in soft-apocalypse magic edinburgh with a job carrying messages from ghosts to their living relatives. an ongoing mystery series about the intrigues she uncovers among the dead.

severance by ling ma: this books is on the list of media that is the terror to me: it's about an apocalyptic disease that makes people reenact their routines mindlessly until they collapse. intimate apocalypse novel with themes of late capitalist malaise.

ocean’s echo by everina maxwell: i didn't really like winter's orbit because i'm just not a romance guy, but this second novel stands alone and the romance is more insane and less of the entire point of the novel. (also it's between essentially Discworld's Carrot and Moist Von Lipwig, which is. really something.) in the Space Military, a buttoned-up mind controller must pretend to bend a socialite with illegal mind-reading powers to his will. what if fake relationship but the relationship they have to fake is "brain linked master/servant pair."

the murderbot diaries by martha wells: novellas about a misanthropic security android who jailbroke itself in order to watch tv. the name "murderbot" is a joke but it very much did kill people <3 themes of paranoia and outsiderhood, corporate wrongdoing, repentance, and trust

black water sister by zen cho: zen cho is good at any kind of fantasy she writes, including this, her first modern fantasy novel. a closeted lesbian has to move in with her family in malaysia after college in the US, only to discover that her dead grandmother has some unfinished business involving a local goddess and a conniving real estate developer. themes of family, gender, and place.

the way inn by will wiles: a man who’s paid to pretend he’s other people to attend conferences in their place gets trapped in an endless Marriott. has the sharp humor of a colson whitehead corporate satire until it becomes more straightforwardly horror-flavored.

[centrally-unplanned]

Oh I had some YU-NO thoughts cache'd I never shared. Thought #1: Btw YU-NO is a 1996 eroge time travel PC-98 VN, context I guess.

Anyway, so in visual novels you often have two goals: fuck multiple hotties and tell an engaging story. These goals are synergistic when your love interests are the story; you choose a girl, and your learn about her and date her and have relationship drama. That is one type of VN, but its not all types - every genre is present in the dating sim VN world, mystery & sci-fi/fantasy plots most commonly.

Here you start running into an issue; you want multiple romance routes, but you don't want to just repeat the story each time you date them. Most people will play multiple or even all the routes. But its not like you are going to write five different endings to your mystery plot. And you can't just...fuck all of them on the way to the ending as one cohesive story, because you are pathetic coward of a dev team and also a nation. A common answer to this dilemma (I first experienced it in G-senjou No Maou) is for you to have a "main" girl, whose romance arc is the plot arc. And then the other girls are clear side girls, who are involved in the main story, sure, and who will give you tidbits, of course, but at a certain point in your arc with them you just trail off. You forget about the murder mystery or whatever, you just date them, have sex scenes, and you will even sometimes have an epilogue where you remark "man, whatever happened with that crazy shit back then?" Its a bit of an odd genre convention but you can see how it works, its lets you have new content and date all the girls without ruining the story, you know who is the 'main' girl is after all.

YU-NO is a mystery sci-game, and it a quantum multiverse/timelines mystery game. You go through the story, and you collect objects along that story, and you also get jewels that let you anchor your spot in the worldline and teleport back to them with your inventory intact. It looks insane btw:

You get no in-game explanation of it at all, the idea of playing this without a guide seems like a cursed no-sleep streaming challenge.

But anyway, this opens up an interesting idea to you as a designer. You are intentionally supposed to hop back and forth in time, to collect items, and unlock the true ending. So why not build all the romance route storylines around that time travel? And put items at the end of each of those romance arcs? Now you can date them all! In fact, you have to! There is a perfectly logical, in-universe reason for why you have 5 different romance arcs; they are happening in different timelines. You date girl one first, then skip back in time, and start on the next - the main character only barely remembers the time skips, to him he doesn't even feel like he is cheating. Pretty sure its intentionally written that way to make that plot conceit work.

I'm sure other games have done similar tricks, but I think YU-NO is the first - it is a pioneer in VN space for using the high-concept quantum timeline stuff, that is its claim to fame. Its a cute little trick, I like it a lot.

[empty-movement]

sorry but please... post your akio plastic covered couch tweet here... the world needs to know...

Warning: pics of gross shit happening on the couches

I'll do you one better and include the STORY! So, I, Vanna (note: Yasha mostly does the Tumblr and I mostly do the Twitter,) was smoking enough weed to knock out a large horse or put a very tiny dent in my constant back and shoulder pain, as one does when when they're a middle-aged Registered Nurse in the year 2023. (I'm 39 but it's an old 39, lmao.)

Scrolling through Twitter, I stumble on a fanart of Suletta from Witch of Mercury sitting goofily on a white couch. Now I haven't seen this show yet, but the white couch....looked familiar, and I know the show is very much a descendent of Utena in terms of creative teams. For those that don't know, the series is written by Ichirō Ōkouchi, who also wrote the two Revolutionary Girl Utena novelizations...which if you didn't know about before, you know about now, and can read translated on our site here! (Warning: Touga and Miki uh, in the novels...)

Anyways, so I hop onto my own website and start downloading the images that will constitute receipts, before realizing 1. these images are all on multiple computers feet away from me, 2. the couch isn't an identical match, 3. that'd have been weird anyway, and most importantly, 4:

AKIO'S COUCHES DON'T LOOK RIGHT. OBSERVE:

The edges of the armrests have sloppier upholstery than the blanket I have covering my computer desk. I took the time to tuck seams at least. What is this??

Now it could absolutely be leather, I thought. It would absolutely track. But leather upholstery doesn't look like this. It doesn't wrinkle quite this way. It would have cleaner seams.

No. No that's too shiny for leather. So here I am, presented with this strangeness I'd never really considered in how Akio's couch is drawn, and having spent the last few months learning about my Italian-American family history, my chemically altered ass came to the only reasonable conclusion:

Akio Ohtori has plastic coverings on his white couches, like he's a depression era American in poverty.

Fuck yeah, I though, A HIT TWEET, there, at the end of all Tweeting things. (Yeah I'm working on that, stay tuned, lmao. I of all people know when to bail on stupid men with stupid power.) Because I am me, I framed it as semi serious by pulling a context to explain it out of my ass:

I was joking.

But the replies? They were not. And then I thought about it some more. And I've kept thinking about it. Do I seriously think Ikuhara and Co literally are intentionally drawing a plastic covered couch? Doesn't that feel, Vanna, like a bit of a stretch, even for Utena meta?

Listen to that CRONCH when Akio sits down in episode 31, before Anthy is seen by Nanami. Look, the buttons on the back rest don't quite fit, but the rest? Yeah it kinda does. I was high, but not wrong!?

Akio *does* surround himself with a bizarre hodgepodge of Americana as an aesthetic. The arm garters. The piping and cut of his cowboy-ass shirt. His American car. His mullet. His miniature fucking golf. Why not the plastic covered couch? It's a trope of American poverty that would absolutely have fallen neatly into the diet of American pop culture that influenced Ikuhara. (He makes references to E.T. and The Godfather and Suspiria and all kinds of things in his other work, Utena itself is a little less obvious with individual references but inherits HUGE amounts of vibes from the same content--Ikuhara and Co watched Lost Highway in theaters during the production of the Akio Arc and I will not be convinced otherwise.)

So yeah. That's the story, and that's the theory. Do I seriously believe it was deliberate? Maybe. Probably. Possibly. But it fits so well it's headcanon for me, and in the Utena fandom, pretty much all canon is kind of headcanon so enjoy this one.

What an asshole.

[chuncao]

Proposal

“Oppa! I know who I want to marry in the future!” 

“Huh?” 

Yoo Mia - his sister - excitedly exclaimed. Yoo Joonghyuk instantly whipped his head to her side. They were sitting in the living room, Yoo Joonghyuk playing on his switch while his sister watching some cartoons on the TV. 

“I want to marry Kim-seonsaengnim! He’s really pretty.” 

She dreamily sighed. Kim-seonsaengnim? Oh, that kindergarten teacher of hers. Yoo Joonghyuk had heard enough of the teacher from his sister that he remembered the man loved to read novels and hated to eat tomatoes. He also knew that Yoo Mia was especially fond of this teacher, judging from how she couldn’t stop talking about him every time she came home from school. 

“Today Kim-seonsaengnim made me a heart, isn’t it pretty?” 

The pink heart origami was badly folded but his sister looked at it as if it was the most precious treasure in the world. She still kept it on one of her bedside drawers where little trinkets could be found. 

“Today when we went to the park, Kim-seonsaengnim told me that I’m prettier than the flowers there!” 

The teacher must have said it to all of the students in the class but his sister somehow mistook it for herself. Really, where did she get her confidence from? 

The list went on and on. But one thing for certain was that his sister was obsessed with this Kim-seonsaengnim.

“Yeah?” 

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t pay much attention to her words. He was busy defeating this particularly hard boss in the game he was playing. 

“I’m serious, Oppa!” 

The girl went to where he was lying and blocked his view from the screen. Now that he couldn’t see what was going on, Yoo Joonghyuk had no choice but to entertain his sister. 

“Then why do you want to marry him?” 

“He’s pretty! He’s nice! And he called me a princess too!” 

His sister giggled. Yoo Joonghyuk loved his sister, but sometimes he had no idea what was inside her 5-year-old tiny brain. 

“But what if Kim-seonsaengnim doesn’t want to marry you? You know you have to get his consent too right?” 

He tried to reason with her. Wanting to marry a fictional character is one thing but wanting to marry her teacher is a completely different matter. 

“I know! But Kim-seonsaengnim said he loved me too so our feelings are mutual!” 

When did she learn to use the word ‘mutual’? Seriously, his sister was growing too fast for him to catch up with. 

“But Mia-ah-“ 

“Joonghyuk-ah, Mia-ah, dinner is ready!” 

The voice of their mother calling them from the kitchen disrupted him. At the sound of ‘dinner’, his sister perked up, running straight to the dining room. Yoo Joonghyuk, now left alone in the living room, sighed inwardly. 

“I hope it’s just a one-time thing.” The boy thought to himself.  

— 

Yoo Joonghyuk was seriously sleep-deprived. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a sleep that lasted more than 5 hours. These days, he was busy studying for the upcoming finals. Normally, he wouldn’t try this hard but his parents had promised him that if he managed to get first place, they would finally buy him the PC that he had been begging for. Therefore, Yoo Joonghyuk studied like crazy, even abandoning sleep for the sake of learning new English vocabulary. 

“Joonghyuk-ah, I’m busy so can you go pick Mia up for me today?” 

A message arrived when he was solving some math questions. Tomorrow was finally the exam day so Yoo Joonghyuk decided to go over the mock exams again. 

Yoo Joonghyuk looked into his phone to see that it’s already been half past three, meaning that Mia would get off soon. He quickly brushed his hair, changed his clothes, locked the door, and hopped on the bike. It took him 15 minutes to get to the kindergarten and by the time he’d arrived, he could already see parents coming in and out of the school to pick up their children. 

Leaving his bike in the parking area, Yoo Joonghyuk walked to where his sister's class was. While he had taken her to school numerous times, this was the first time he came to pick her up. Because Yoo Joonghyuk had to be in time for his classes, they usually arrived at the kindergarten quite early in the morning, when there weren’t much people. As a result, he found it quite strange for the place to be filled with people walking around. 

“Hello, I come to pick up Yoo Mia.” 

Yoo Joonghyuk talked to the teacher that was standing closest to the classroom’s door. He recognized her as the female teacher who was always here early in the morning. Her name was Yoo Sangah, right? 

“Ah, you are Mia’s brother! Please wait a moment, I’ll go get her for you.” 

She gave him a small smile before heading in. A few moments later, Yoo Joonghyuk saw his sister coming out of the classroom, her hand holding someone’s. Apparently, she was talking to that person. 

“Kim-seonsaengnim, why don’t you want to marry me? I thought you loved me!” 

Yoo Mia pouted, her voice sounded like she was whining. 

“Mia-ah, teacher can’t marry you. Don’t you know that?” 

The other person gently answered her while giving her a pat on the head. 

Wait, Kim-seonsaengnim? Isn’t that the same teacher who Yoo Mia wanted to get married with? He thought it was just a one-time thing but who knew she could be this persistent. 

“Look, isn’t that your brother? See you tomorrow, Mia-ah.” 

The teacher suddenly looked in his direction. The moment their eyes met, Yoo Joonghyuk felt his heart skip a beat. The man was… really pretty. Black smooth hair, porcelain white skin, long thick eyelashes, and red pump lips. His eyes were particularly appealing, reminding Yoo Joonghyuk of the starry nights that he saw once on a hiking trip in the countryside. The boy didn’t know why but he couldn’t take his eyes off the other man. 

“No! I won’t go home until you agree to marry me!” 

His sister crossed her arms, refusing to move an inch. Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to apologize for her behaviors, but his mouth just didn’t listen to him. He was too busy looking at how the white apron the teacher was wearing really fitted his slender figure. 

“I’m sorry, Mia’s brother. She is usually more well-behaved than this. I’ll try to persuade her.” 

The man gave him an apologetic smile before crouching down to face his sister. Shit, even his smile was out of the world. If his eyes were small stars hanging in the night sky, his smile felt like one of those bright constellations that could be seen without a telescope. It was dazzling, so dazzling that Yoo Joonghyuk forgot how to breathe. Now he could partly understand why his sister wanted to marry the man. 

“Mia-ah. If you go home now, I promise that I would make you some flowers tomorrow. Didn’t you say that you wanted one today?” 

The teacher smiled sweetly at his sister. Somewhere in his heart, Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to become the recipient of that smile. 

“No, I don’t want flowers. I want you to marry me!” 

The girl mumbled before turning to where Yoo Joonghyuk was standing. 

“Oppa! Can you tell Kim-seonsaengnim to marry me? I promise that I will eat all of my bell peppers if you do!” 

“Mia-ah…” 

The teacher, not knowing what to do, looked at Yoo Joonghyuk as if asking for help. Yoo Joonghyuk froze under that gaze, not expecting the man to pay attention to him. Seeing that his sister was causing a scene and other parents were staring at them, Yoo Joonghyuk decided to say something so that Yoo Mia could stop bothering her teacher. But before he could think, his mouth moved on his own: 

“Do you want to marry me instead?” 

Yoo Joonghyuk blamed the sleep he was missing. 

[seventeenlovesthree]

Time Saver - a Taishirou Fanfic, Chapter 1: Lightning Strike

Summary: Takeru struggles to find the inspiration to continue writing his novel. It's a warm Summer night in July 2015 and the last thing he expects is a sudden lightning strike - one which may affect him, the other Chosen Children and their future to an extent he cannot fathom yet...

Word Count: 738

Chapter POV: Takeru Takaishi

Chapter List: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

‘One thing that shall never be underestimated is that there is always something unexpected to expect when Digimon are involved.’

Once he had finished that sentence – as stiff as it appeared to him –, Takeru leaned back into his chair and stretched out his arms. He had been trying to get into a habit of daily writing his novel for a while now, but today, the words simply didn’t want to flow.

After yawning loudly into the silence of his room, he let his eyes roam around. Patamon was already fast asleep, dreaming of chocolate frappuccinos on his bed as the clock on his laptop taunted him with how late it already was.

“Almost midnight…”, he mumbled to himself. The chat window had gone silent an hour and so, without much distraction, he didn’t even have an excuse for the lack of creativity that had been haunting him all night. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel like sleeping either, so the urge to just go and text the others to see if anyone was still awake was incredibly tempting…

Takeru was pretty sure that Koushirou was still up, as always. Maybe Iori was up late studying. Hikari was having a week off from kindergarten duty, so he might be lucky in trying to reach her. Maybe his brother, who currently resided in the United States for an internship, was not busy for once and could text him back?

“I shouldn’t though…”, he groaned, knowing he had to be responsible. In sheer desperation, he opened the Chosen Children app on his laptop to take a look around the map and chat options, hoping to find any news he could occupy himself with, regardless of where in the world somebody was texting. It was a shame that gate hopping wasn’t a thing anymore since the Digivices had vanished almost three years ago – and they still hadn’t figured out how to make it work with Koushirou’s technology. Still, Takeru liked checking on the app, just like he liked checking the general group chat. It was giving him a sense of serenity to see everyone interact casually, just when everything finally seemed mostly peaceful.

… Which was his last thought before he caught the glimpse of lightning striking outside from the corner of his eye.

“Woah!”

There had been a loud noise – somewhere not too far away from his apartment complex, so he had naturally jumped up from his chair.

“Wha- Takeru?”, Patamon shrieked, woken up by the rumbling as Takeru rushed to his open window. It had been a warm Summer day in the middle of July, but there was a chilliness right now that sent a shiver down his spine. His eyes sought through the night sky, trying to locate any kind of strange occurrence – and apparently, he wasn’t alone in his assumption that something about this lightning had not been ‘natural’.

“I can feel something…”, Patamon murmured, still half asleep, but alert enough to fly next to his human partner onto the window sill to join his efforts to look around.

“What do you mean? It wasn’t a digital gate, was it?”, Takeru asked, heart racing, both with worry – and excitement. Not that he had wished for a nightly Digimon attack disturbing the peace they had worked so hard to achieve. But a part of him really missed the supernatural experiences they used to encounter on a daily basis.

“I’m not sure… Something like an energy spike…? And doesn’t it look more foggy to you?”

Takeru squinted his eyes. “Yeah, it does…” Never had he missed the responsive beeping of his Digivice more than in this moment. Either way, whether or not there really was a Digimon involved, he felt validated in sending a warning into the group chat after all.

‘Just witnessed a lightning strike near my flat. Did any of you see anything? Patamon says there was an ‘energy spike’?! Will check out if there’s anything dangerous out there. I’ll keep you guys updated!’

“We should go and see if anything happened. You ready?”

“Aaaaawwwwlways!”, Patamon agreed with a yawn in between and Takeru quickly grabbed his phone. It was still odd to be able to trigger an evolution just with the “power of his belief” facilitated by the phone. But with Angemon by his side, he was confident that they’d be able to face any threat out there. And maybe gather some more writing inspiration in the process…

[sunnyupsidedown]

Tender

Word Count: 1873 [AO3]

Rating: Explicit

Summary: It was so different from their usual encounters. There was no opening remark to set the scene. No falling into a role to be a slightly different version of themselves.

A/N: Wrote this months ago and originally wasn't happy with it BUT I wrote something (in a different fandom) that I'm even less happy with so this doesn't feel so bad anymore lol. Time to release it to the wild. Written because I craved something tender between Jack & Alan.

It was always eerie to be in his house when no one else was around. It wasn’t exactly silent with the creaking of the wood and the thin walls letting every noise imaginable filter in from the street, but without the constant chatter of children, the sounds of cooking in the kitchen, and the general hum of life, it might as well have been a graveyard.

The weeks he sent his family to the seaside while he stayed back to work was only worth it because it gave his family a time to forget the situation they were struggling through. Emily and Tom still brought up stories of chasing gulls and collecting shells and every repetition brought a smile to Alan’s face.

This time his family was packed up and sent to Cheetham Hall. He would be joining them in a few days time after he took care of an important deadline. Alan didn’t know if it was better or worse that he wouldn’t be there to see his family meet Lady Cheetham.

In the meantime, Alan would stay with Jack once Alan picked up the list of items his family forgot to pack but remembered as they were about the hop on the train. With the items quickly located and stored in a bag by the front door, Alan and Jack stood in Alan’s attic bedroom with Jack leaning on the wall by the door and Alan digging though his desk to find his newest draft. It wasn’t quite evening yet with the sun’s golden rays illuminating the dust motes floating in the air.

“We could stay here for the night,” Jack broke the silence.

“No.” Alan’s reply was instant as he continued to page through some of the papers in a side drawer. Alan felt the heat of Jack’s body as he crowded up behind him.

“You’ve slept at my place, let me sleep here,” Jack tried again.

“Well you’re fucking rich. Still no.” Alan sniped back.

“It would be quite a novel experience.” Jack snaked an arm around Alan’s waist and bent to tuck his chin on his shoulder.

“Oh fuck right off!”

“When will it ever be just the two of us here again?” Jack continued unphased.

Alan turned in the embrace and took in Jack. The juxtaposition between Jack and the hovel of his room raged a war in his mind. Jack stood tall and at ease with entire worlds in his ice blue eyes. They suddenly flicked to the side and a smile quirked his lips.

“Oh, what’s this?” Jack asked, sliding a hand from Alan’s waist to an item in his desk drawer.

Alan could feel his face heat with the sight of Jack’s handkerchief between them, but the truth came out of his mouth when he opened it just to see what Jack would do. “Writing inspiration. What else could it be?”

He wasn’t disappointed when one of Jack’s eyebrows shot up and his eyes darken deeply. Jack stepped closer with a question in the way his eyes dropped to his mouth and it was like their lips were magnets. Jack true north and to Alan’s south. Alan shifted up on his toes, tilted his head, and wrapped a hand around the back of Jack’s neck, helpless to the pull.

A hand slipped around his thighs and then he was sitting on his desk. The strain in his neck relieved and the angle changed to something deeper, dirtier.

Alan was at a precipice. If this went on any longer, if he did not stop what was happening, his only haven would no longer be his alone. It would forever hold the memory of this moment with Jack. Jack was a large man with even a larger presence. Alan thought back to the first time Jack was in this room and the uncertainty of the future. If Jack didn’t survive… If Alan didn’t survive... If Jack grew tired of him after the danger was gone and tossed him aside like an old newspaper, then he would be left with no space untainted by the memory of Jack. No refuge. Jack blurred the boundaries of easy fantasy and cruel reality.

But now, months later, Jack was here with him in the room again. Alan slept over at Jack’s at least twice a week but saw him almost everyday: for lunch, for dinner, for tea, for a walk, at the Blyth’s while Spinet was rebuilding. Bella won’t stop smirking during family meals when he can’t seem to keep Jack off his tongue. There was a certain room at the Hawthorn residence that Alan refused to call his. He doesn’t even sleep there but it holds a few suits that have been forced onto him and a desk with a few favored notebooks and pens.

His attic room was no different with traces of Jack creeping in with the handkerchief, a borrowed pen, a smooth rock from Cheetham Hall.

Jack pulled back but stayed close with his forehead leaning on his. “Have I ever told you…” The rumble of his voice, thick with desire, sent a shiver down Alan’s spine. “...that I didn’t have a favorite color until I saw how light reflects from your eyes?”

And suddenly the decision was made. He was falling from the cliff, hurling himself from the edge to reach the man in front of him.

Alan brought their lips together again briefly before pushing Jack back. Alan’s chest heaved. “I want to feel your skin pressed against mine.”

Getting undressed was easier for Alan. His ensemble had less layers, less fiddly pieces. He finished and watched a shirtless Jack start on his pants. Even naked, he could see the wealth in Jack from the full flesh on his body and the shine of his hair. But with the backdrop of the tiny attic room and without the outside wrappings of a lord, it was easier to see Jack as the sum of his actions. Almost like they were equals in society.

Jack stepped out of his drawers and Alan was there, running his hands through the soft hair on Jack’s chest, absorbing the heat of his body. Alan pushed Jack two steps back to the edge of the bed. Jack got the hint and sat with Alan falling into his lap with a kiss.

Alan’s hands roamed the broad expanse of Jack’s back, lightly running his nails up and down. His fingers slowly made their way up into Jack’s hair and pulled. He could feel Jack’s prick jump against his own and a moan escaped him. Alan kissed down Jack’s throat and bit on the soft spot at the base of his neck. The desire to consume everything that was Jack Alston overwhelming.

Jack suddenly lifted and laid Alan down on the bed. A quick rummage in his still open desk drawer had Jack tossing a jar of lotion on the bed and then his mouth was on Alan’s body consuming him in return with a whispered, “You’re going to drive me mad.”

Jack started at his lips, then the soft skin under his chin, his neck, his collarbones, each nip at his nipples pulled a gasp from his throat. Jack kissed the spot under his last ribs almost ticklish with its lightness before he’s between his legs biting the sensitive skin of his inner thighs.

“Don’t choke this time,” Alan managed to get out and he’s rewarded with a pinch to his thigh that makes the molten core of his being burn hotter.

Jack wasn’t necessarily good, not that Alan had much hands-on experience in either direction, but the fact that it was John Frederick Charles Alston groaning around his prick in his mouth made up for all of it.

Alan’s entire body trembled when a slick hand slid between his cheeks. Jack sucked hard and pushed a finger in and Alan couldn’t stop the near shout from leaving his body. Jack continued to gently open him up. So, so gentle it was almost too much. Alan had to pull Jack up into a kiss.

It was so different from their usual encounters. There was no opening remark to set the scene. No falling into a role to be a slightly different version of themselves. Right now, kissing in Alan’s small attic room striped bare, they were Alanzo and Jack. No lords, no journalists, just two men.

It was terrifying.

It was exhilarating.

Jack lined up and pushed into Alan with a grunt in one smooth stroke. They stayed there breathing, staring straight at each other. Jack had his arms bracketed around the sides of Alan’s head, his hair mused from Alan’s fingers. A red blush bloomed on his cheeks, down his neck, on his chest. His eyes soft and open with a tenderness that made Alan want to weep. And maybe he did because Jack ran the pads of his thumbs under his eyes and dropped a soft kiss to his forehead, to his nose, to his lips and lingered.

Alan hooked an ankle around Jack’s back to let him know he’s ready and Jack moved like there was all the time in the world. Each stroke a slow eternity driving Alan closer and closer to insanity. Jack shifted and the angle changed and the pace was suddenly unbearable.

Alan used his legs again to nudge and Jack moved up and around to hold Alan in his lap again, giving him all control. With Jack’s hands on his hips to steady him, Alan moved faster, though not by much, like anything faster would break the moment building between them.

A hand found its way to him and softly stroked in time with their movement. Jack sighed his name into his mouth and Alan was unmade with Jack releasing in him a few moments later.

Alan came to with his arms hooked around Jack’s shoulders and breathing into the hollow of his neck. They shifted again together. Careful so Jack didn’t slip out because Jack knew that Alan liked the feeling. Alan moved to kiss Jack deeply in return because that was what Jack liked. It was startling to realize the language they have created together. A type of cradlespeak built from their time together. A mingling of them so that a light pull of his hair has Alan leaning in closer and a nip at his lips has Jack running his hands in slow circles on Alan’s back.

They stayed curled into each other until the late afternoon sun faded into the oranges of evening. Jack breathed softly in sleep, a hand resting on Alan’s chest. He would wake him soon because there was still no way he would let Jack sleep overnight in his cramped bed. He himself didn’t want to sleep in his cramped bed with Jack taking up most of it.

Now in the haze of evening, Alan couldn’t remember why Jack’s mere presence in his haven was such an ordeal. It was always going to be a losing battle. He was already ruined the moment he laid eyes on him on that boat. The gravitational pull between them was too strong. Too heady. And he was in so deep that no matter what, he would be obliterated.

[miyamiwu]

Essential Elements of an Unlimited/Infinite Flow Story

As someone attempting to write my own Unli Flow, I thought I’d take note of the different elements so I can have a guide I can always refer back to.

I’ve explained what Unli Flow means many times before, but in case you missed it: Unlimited/Infinite Flow is a genre in Chinese web novels that feature characters entering multiple “instances” where they have to complete a challenge and/or solve a mystery. Failure in doing so would lead to consequences, most often death.

There’s also this definition by AshuraYami from the NovelUpdates Forum:

Unlimited Flow/Infinite Flow is a genre originating from the CN novel Terror Infinity. The genre mainly revolves on world hopping involving fictional works (anime, comics, movies, games and novels) and/or original worlds created by the author. Infinite Flow, as it’s ‘infinite’ namesake suggests, can accommodate all other genres, be it fantasy, sci-fi, horror, romance, etc. Representative works are Terror Infinity (origin of genre), Reincarnation Paradise (most chapters and word count), The Ultimate Evolution (promoter of data flow, an infinite flow derivative that is more game-like litRPG) and Thriller Paradise (most famous horror infinite flow).

With the definition out of the way, let’s goooo

[This post will also serve as a rec list of sorts, since I’ll be giving examples of each element from different danmei novels.]

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1. The Authority

The entity/system in charge of the Unlimited Flow system as a whole. Most stories just chalk it up to the Unli Flow being some kind of otherworldly being/extremely advanced AI that just likes to mess with people.

Examples of The Authority

(based on what I remember, at least… Also, beware of spoilers)

The Earth is Online: The Universe

Mist: I forgot what it’s called, but that high tech system in charge of all the Time Traveling stuff...

High Energy QR Code: That black and white cube thing

Surprise! The Supposed Talent Show was Actually—?!: … The TV station...

From left to right: Tang Mo from The Earth is Online and Wu Jin and Wei Shi from Surprise! The Supposed Talent Show was Actually—?!

[Spoilers End]

From having read numerous Unli Flow stories, I conclude that crucial to a great, not just good, Unli Flow story is a well-defined Authority. The explanation behind the Authority’s existence and motives is the foundation to the entire story.

You can have a very fancy building (cool instances, well-developed characters, an exciting enemies to lovers couple, etc.), but if the foundation is flimsy, the building’s value would plummet in your eyes. You can still appreciate the building, of course, but you will never be content with it.

Examples of some novels that are good in almost everything else except The Authority (in my opinion): [spoilery]

Supernatural Movie Actor App: It was too profound with not enough groundwork laid for it, resulting in The Authority feeling detached from the main story.

I Upended Yet Another Campus Urban Legend: The Authority was not exactly bad; it was just inadequate. The justification of the Unli Flow existing became unconvincing because of this.

Escape the Infinite Chamber: THE AUTHORITY IS SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS THAT IT’S ABYSMAL. And the entire thing was explained in just one scene and from one extra??? SO MUCH PAIN AND SUFFERING AND THAT’S THE ONLY EXPLANATION WE GET??? HORRENDOUS!

[Spoilers End]

From left to right: Book covers of I Upended Yet Another Campus Urban Legend and Supernatural Movie Actor App

2. Instances

Also known as “copy.” The other world/dimension where players have to face the different challenges.

The Authority may be the foundation, but the Instances are the defining aspect of the Unlimited Flow.

A lot of novels, however, are quite perfunctory when it comes to instances, just using it to further the main couple or as a mere stepping stone to the overarching plot. Or, if they’re not being perfunctory, then the Instances are just plain boring.

The first instance, especially, tend to be the most boring. Authors often use this to dump all the information about how their unli flow works. This usually gets better by the time the 2nd or 3rd instance comes around....

Upon successful completion of an Instance, players will then be rewarded with either points, special abilities, magic items, etc.

Examples of novels with GREAT instances (based on logic, thrill, horror, etc. Again, all in my own opinion):

I Became a God in a Horror Game: The horror is present all throughout. I can still remember the fear I felt while reading about the statues in the first Instance. Each instance/arc also emotionally impacts you, an effect that most Unli Flow writers don’t really aim for or just generally tend to fail at. (This is also my favorite unli flow novel at the moment~)

The Earth is Online: (same author as Fourth Perspective, which I’ve posted a lot about before) What I love about Mo Chen Huan, the author, is how they write intelligent MC’s but without making them seem too OP. And this is because she actually shows us the MC’s thought process, inviting us to think along with them and figure out how to solve the challenge, and not just make her characters say “aha!” This is what makes the Instances in TEIO great and memorable.

High Energy QR Code: The story could make use of more showing than telling, but I actually love the Instances in this novel. You know how good stories are often described as a well-made tapestry in that every little thread contributes to the big beautiful picture? That’s how each Instance reads in this novel. (Absolutely love the Instance about the town where everybody lies.)

Fu Wendou, the male lead of The Earth is Online

3. NPCs

A gaming term which stands for “Non-Player Character.” Refers to characters who live within Instances and act in such ways that further the plot or challenge presented by the Instance. They may go against players or assist them. May or may not have a will of their own.

Examples of NPCs:

Xu Beijin, the protagonist of Being an Extra Actor in an Escape Game

Lu Chu, the protagonist of Insider.

The iconic Mosaic from The Earth is Online

The male leads from Escape the Infinite Chamber, I Became a God in a Horror Game, Killing God with Junk Cards, etc. (Most danmei ML are special!NPCs 😩)

From left to right: Book covers of Being an Extra Actor in an Escape Game and Killing God with Junk Cards

4. Player Hall

A space outside of instances where different players can gather and exchange information. Most of the time, this is in a space still separate from the real world. Players are often prohibited from using their powers in this space.

In some novels, Players have no choice but to live here, completely cutting them off from the real world. In this case, accommodation quality will depend on the Player’s level or points.

5. Personal System

The Personal System issues challenges to the player and keeps track of their current attributes, physical and mental states, etc.. It also calculates rewards and punishments for the player. First and foremost in service to The Authority. (If they aren’t, then they’re most likely the Love Interest in disguise. If not, the Player had somehow swayed it to their side).

6. System Store

The points earned from the different Instances serve as the Players’ currency, and they can use it to buy things from the System Store. The Store may sell weapons, medicine, magical items, or even special abilities. Basically, any item that can help the Player during Instances. Of course, it may also sell non-magical items, like food and everyday items, at a much lower price than special items.

7. Player’s Goal/Wish

In some novels, the Goal is simply to clear all the Instances and leave the Unli Flow for good. But in others, the Unli Flow allows Players to exchange their points for a Wish. The more difficult the Wish, the more points are needed, and the more Instances are needed to be cleared.

Examples of a Goal/Wish:

Supernatural Movie Actor App: Xie Chi wants to give his second personality a body of his own.

I Became a God in a Horror Game: If I’m remembering it correctly… Bai Liu just wants to have lots of money.

I Upended Yet Another Campus Urban Legend: Lin Yi wants to learn the truth about his parents.

Thriller Tour Group: Wei Xun wants to find the truth about his family’s disappearance… and his Wish is to uhh… feel pain?

After the Little Crybaby Enters the Nightmare Cycle: Chi Nan’s Wish is to regain his vision, stop crying and get his memories back.

Death Spiral: To uhh… figure out what the voice in the Elevator is trying to tell them? To regain their memories? [The actual Wish is a big spoiler, so I won’t mention it here.]

From left to right: Book covers of After the Little Crybaby Enters the Nightmare Cycle, Thriller Tour Group, and Death Spiral

Aaaand there you have it! I was hoping to list 10 elements, but I can only think up to 7 😔

Although I said this post is a rec list of sorts, the quality of the novels I mentioned actually varies. I’m just listing whatever novel would be good as an example (and also what I can remember and have more or less completed, since many of the Unli Flow novels I’m reading are currently on-hold).