#feels a little embarrassing ngl
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going to the mall with my mom consists of her hating blaring loud music of songs she doesn’t know and her almost buying a really cringey mug. I wanted to buy a band tee but we were in a rush and honestly I’m pretty happy with my Star Wars keychain!! My sister kept complaining that I don’t even like Star Wars but she’s totally wrong because Star Wars is groovy :)) the ice cream was super good too. I bought rings at target and some of them weren’t even in the pack but it’s okay! (They look like the kind you’d find in Walmart or the dollar tree) The escalator is so terrifying to me still (since I was little) there were books but I couldn’t find any that sounded super interesting. I did see some jewelry that looked cool (it was silver) we got fries but I was tired so I didn’t eat any. I wish summer wasn’t so hot :(( In my opinion, this day was way better than going to the movies with my friend !!
#diary entry#ig#feels a little embarrassing ngl#mall trip#I wrote this bcuz I liked today tbh#I think I should write more
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ive received multiple dms or asks asking why i blocked people (fyi to the anons, i dont have that many people blocked so youre not saving yourself much embarrassment by being anonymous😭) and im just gonna say this here EVEN THOUGH I DONT OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS im just tired of the messages
i will block anyone who has disrespectful takes (usually misogynistic but sometimes just straight up mean, FOR EXAMPLE if you make a really farfetched take or disregard canon SPECIFICALLY for the sake of discrediting someone elses take or ship) or if you always post a ship i dont want to see 🤷🏻♀️
so basically youll get blocked for being a dick... or a torisai shipper 😭😭 thats the criteria
#i have the k*bokai and t*risai tags filtered#so if you post either of them untagged i will probably block#but also this is really not something you need to wonder about#do i have to have a reason to not want to see someones blog#its not a personal attack#i used to think like that and then i was like#i constantly post one of the most hated ships (k*bosai) and i used to spam post a lot#those r two valid reasons for someone to block and neither r a personal attack on me#nobody needs a 'valid' reason to block someone but it just put it into perspective ig#if i recieve even one more of these after posting this i may go crazy/nsrs#its a little embarrassing that people r like going on side blogs n shit just to ask me abt this#but i'll give the benefit of the doubt cuz its probably really young people#this post itself is a little embarrassing to make ngl i feel like everyones just gonna go 'who cares' 'nobody said that' or something LOL#sorry this isnt instagram reels#meows post
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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✨ Friendly reminder - I don’t find spam liking a compliment. If you have a sfw blog or don’t want to reblog nsfw posts for whatever reason then I’d suggest either making a side blog specifically for promoting content creators or send a tip to show love 🫶
#I’ve been away for awhile#ngl I forgot a few of things that drove me a little crazy#(little or a lot depending on what it is)#idk I find spam liking to be like a slap in the face#either I think that person thinks I’m hot enough to keep in their likes (spank bank) but not hot enough to reblog#or they’re ashamed or embarrassed for liking fat girls???#cause I know there’s plenty of those people still out there#I just generally could never see spam liking as a compliment#spam liking along with spam reblogging?#bro go for it#maybe even leave me some cute tags to look at later 🫣#but idk just spam liking and leaving it at that is just rude in my opinion#I know everyone feels differently but that’s just how I feel#anyway if any of you spam likers want to send a tip#my cashapp is still $rosicheeks420#shut up rosie#rosie speaks
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uh oh besties, it might be time for my (almost) annual Dishonored replay again
#this time ill probably play it in german#im always a little curious about german translations ngl#i also need to replay disco elysium in german one day#ive been watching my friend play and hes been using the switching the languages back and forth feature a lot#and honestly some of the things in the translation really intrigue me#they translated 'innocence' to 'Schuldreine' which is a choice and I honestly love it#they could have said 'Unschuldige' or just 'Unschuld' but 'Schuldreine' is so much better imo#bc its not the most immediately obvious choice of translation#whatever thats a ramble for another day#point is: I replay dishonored a lot bc - and this is maybe a little embarrassing -#i have this really convoluted af rwby and dishonored crossover AU that has been plaguing (hah) my mind since like?? 2020 or smth#and im always like alright lemme replay the games and rewatch the show so i can work on it#and then i always stop after replaying the first game haha it has become tradition to me at this point#bc i get embarrassed :( of my interests :( again :( *kicks rock*#yea yea i know unlearning shame and all that im working on it. anyways dont mind me im feeling chatty today
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toji secretly loves the princess bride . fact.
#would never say it out loud though#he watched it when he was younger and genuinely thought it was so funny and....... sweet#and he still thinks so#but he really truly would never admit it#thinks that it's very embarrassing#will tease you if you say that you like it too while his own heart stutters a bit lmao#and when you watch it with him he's got a veeery faint little smile on his lips#ngl i think he'd end up mouthing along to some of the lines by accident too#he just feels comfortable around you so he doesn't have his guard up yk#i really do think he's a softie inside okay............#mickey is daydreaming#toji#miji
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In response to your latest post (the one with sticks in the mud): Honestly i love this vibe you bring into the epic cycle, you're literally my fav blog on tumblr bc of how well you menage to ballance seriousness and silliness, love all your posts (especially water wife ones tho) <3
Oh, Thank you so much! That means so much! You're so kind, dear anon! I'm genuinely honored that you consider me a fave blog! <3 🥹
There are so many folks who AREN'T stuck in the mud but the folks who ARE usually are loud about it. And so it felt good to vent that out :D I'm NOT a professional or in school for classics/ancient history, so sometimes I get worried as the last thing I want to do is disrespect and/or screw up in that.
I've been told that I "woobify" when I'm definitely not trying to (at least in matters where there's nothing to woob. lol stuff gets dark ofc) and I...don't know if I do?? At least nothing TOO crazy. Ofc, you are soft with your loved ones, who isn't? That doesn't mean they don't do messed up things either.
I'm happy having fun and being silly! :D
And I love it when people join in!
#ngl I get a bit embarrassed by my slang/dialect as... it just SCREAMS “ADHD country bumpkin” and I feel like a fool talking about#something serious sometimes :P#this is really sweet. I'm happy. Thank you!#anon#ask#Water Wife#shot by odysseus#Mad rambles#🩵#(I have a LITTLE feeling that you're one of my wormlings/homies in disguise but either way this means so much!!! 🩵)
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shhhhh
#hiding this in the tags bc I'm a little embarrassed#but i see so many somno posts that are like “play with me till I'm wet enough” is in there which yes hot#but also ngl.... the thought of a woman jacking herself off#and her using her pre as lube/using the BAREST amount of lube/not working me up at all/going in mostly dry and judt shoving herself in#so she can feel how fast my pussy gets wet from the violent intrusion is so 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴#ugh i need to be [redacted ideas here]#u can also comment/send asks/tease abt this a little but I'm also soooo shy i had to hide it 🫣
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Imagine asking for help from someone and they just ignore you…… how embarrassing :))
#ngl girlies I’ve been drinking so I’m over sharing but also like damn#even if someone can’t help me..just communicate that lol#my ego feels a little hurt & embarrassed#I never ask for help and feel so weird that I did#guess Ik what I’ll be talking about in my next therapy session
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I’m having another style crisis 😀
And here is a wip im doing for a Twitter collab… Sausage is mad at Hemera 🫢
I’ve been wanting to draw for days now but it feels like I can’t draw— then FFXVI came out and Clive is giving me emotional damage
#is it embarrassing that I cried when I played the demo?#I’m a very emotional person— don’t fight me#ngl it was such a refresher to do a bit of realism#anyways… I’ll probably be in my hole for a little longer#gotta finish FFXVI and possibly make fan art of it idk#hphl#hphl mc#hphl oc#hemera fotia#might delete this later— I honestly just wanted to post something because I feel bad for just going silent
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never had a post get over 1000 notes but i think im starting to understand why people hate their posts getting popular so much
#it feels a little embarrassing ngl. i feel exposed#especially when its a text post. art getting a lots of notes is nice. text post is terrifying#also i lied i had one (1) post get over a 1000 notes. it was a tma anniversary piece#but yeah. whenever a text post i make gets over 30 notes i start shivering with fear
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Sending you comfort and strength! Remember you can just block em. Unfollow- even if its just for a little while, even if they are friends or mutuals. let them know their behavior is negatively affecting you and that it has consequences. hope you take care of yourself. I hope things calm down soon.
Thank you <3 Yeah, you're right. I typically just put up with some level of wank in fandom without batting an eye, but everything is shit. I just wanted some comfort. And we've gotta crap all over people just having fun because you don't like certain tropes or ships or--anything, really? Life's too fucking short. Like, yeah, I sure can be salty about things, and there are fandom things I personally dislike, but dragging people doesn't get anyone anywhere. If I'm feeling grumpy, I try to turn it into love for the opposite, the things I do like, which in turn helps build community and inspire more of the good stuff, instead of dividing and fragmenting folks.
Sorry this is quite a ramble askdjnaksjn I did need the encouragement to curate my space, regardless of wishing I didn't have to. My cat has gotten a lot worse, and unless there's a small miracle, we'll be making the call in the next day or two. Things are really tight, there's some family illness going on, and just a ton of fires to put out on my plate. And this is just shitty.
There are legitimate problems that affect real people that should be talked about, yeah. Like unchecked racism or the like (looking at that whole drama with that one specific user a few weeks back). But a lot of fandom bullshit is just petty or performative and, again. I just want a little fun and comfort. And now I don't even want to seek it out anymore. It sucks.
Sorry again for rambling, you don't have to read all this :'D And thank you <3
#Animal Illness#Ask#Anon#Yadda Yadda#I feel a little embarrassed posting this ngl#But I want to share an update#And I've got no spoons to censor myself
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Ok, about 230 words of LtA translated tonight. There was a paragraph with a giant complicated sentence that slowed me down a bit. Better than no progress at all though!
Bernard was introduced in what I translated tonight. I saw on the wiki that it seems he's generally referred to as Ky's butler, but I decided to render the word 「執事」 as "steward" instead because he does more than just cleans Ky's house and bring him tea biscuits lol
Bernard manages crime syndicate reports, compiles summaries of them, and works as an analyst for Ky at the former Holy Order HQ in Paris, too. That's way above a standard "butler," imo. It seems like the word 「家令」 more generally means what we think of a butler as in English anyway.
LtA hasn't referred to Bernard with「家令」 at all, but if Norimitsu uses that or「バトラー」to refer to his job later I'll change it.
#textpost#lta tag#It's kind of wild how a single word choice can completely change the tone/feel of an entire character...#ALSO translating a book is a little intimidating now ngl!!#When I did Begin and Artworks '07 I had like 1/5th the following online that I have now ahaha#Hope when I make a mistake that it's not an embarrassing one that lingers for decades :'D#Well! As long as it's mostly accurate then I suppose that will have to be good enough for a self-taught for-free hobby project rofl#I feel like I've finally got into a good stride with this thing so I wanna try to get at least a couple paragraphs done each night#Scrivener says I've done about 24k characters of this 92k character document. The word count for Japanese isn't accurate but-#-the character count seems to be a little closer. Nearing about 1/4 the way done doesn't feel right though#It's a 6 chapter book... Hm.... Maybe some of the later chapters are really short or something. Begin's were mostly the same length...#Anyway it's time for bed good night
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i would share my builds but. i’m gonna be honest i just go with vibes. weapon would look pretty with certain character? it’s theirs now. artifacts seem even slightly useful regardless of whether or not they’re the most efficient set? slap those bitches on. i play genshin like i play pokemon: with my favorites and while pressing as many buttons as possible until the enemy dies - teddy anon
OH YOU JUST LIKE ME FR FR
kazuha has the isshin sword even though i have an aquila favonia cause that goes to kaeya who i built because i like him, even when he did lower damage. i run kazuha as a dps even though he’s supposed to be support (i have a p well done diluc that does more normal attack damage but.. kazuha :] and kukis supposed to be like a hyperbloom driver i think but i have her as healer. my baizhu is currently using her set cause i like the burn reaction (w benny, who i still haven’t built properly (just a ton of er for burst stuff) and only use for pyro applications lmao) even though he’s supposed to be like. a sub dps. he and kuki probably work well together but i can’t hear that over the sound of my burst support childe who ran freeze with kaeya for an embarrassing amount of my early abyss runs. i still haven’t attempted floor twelve and unless i get my shit together i don’t think i will. strategy i hardly know her, i just go “unga bunga men pretty” and that got me to ar 57. i have yet to level my mona despite her being a great support (she does have a r5 dragons tales for when i want childe to look pretty against the pyro flower but that’s it) and my xingqiu still doesn’t have good artifacts. my team ‘comps’ are “dps dps.2 sub dps/applicator healer” and i have not strayed from this in my entire time playing. chongyun is objectively bad for my current playstyle but that has not stopped me from trying. i will get a freeze team with him xingqiu and maybe kaeya if it kills me
#m1d : [chats]#teddy anon#woo lotta tags watch out#this got long but i. feel a lot about this game#i have a lot of ’it works’ builds but only like one solid one which is awkward but not the worst thing#‘jack of all trades master of none; still better than a master of one’ right#(i didn’t use my fully built diluc for the longest time except when grinding cryo flower (chongyun) cause i don’t like overloaded)#(i have a kazuha.)#(and regularly cringe when he isn’t on my team)#ngl it’s embarrassing how dependent i am on kaz. he’s not there i don’t know how to get the enemies together. what do.#before him it was heizou and his burst and before that it was aether and his skill/burst#me when anemo amirite (has a lv 20 jean and sayu i haven’t touched in ages)#that’s a lie sayu helps w crystalflies and unusual hillichurls#and diluc does go on both of those trips too#unrelated but there’s a bird like three feet away from me#just. walkin about. you go little guy i hope you get all the worms (it’s well into the afternoon)#unrelated x2 but i have an au for a piece of media i like and it’s so annoying that only i and like one other person know about it. cringe.#please i want to consume fan content of my au but i’m the oNLY FAN IT SUCKS#birds back. hey guy. wanna hear about my [it technically spans three fandoms oh lord] au?#i do think this is a low point in my life#like i’ll go to be judged and the guy’ll go ‘you made these three medias touch’ ‘they hold hands actually’ ‘why’ ‘funny’#what do anime minecraft and marvel have in common? me baby#if there is no god to save you then you must make your own#fun fact i first wrote that like ten minutes ago and got a nosebleed right after#if there’s a god they certainly hate me. and that’s fair
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just trust me... i'm so right about this one...
everything will be fine as long as they keep Not Talking About This
#vex deserves an 'oh. oh' moment if you ask ME!!!!#she spends the whole first half of this fic like 'percy has a crush on me. i literally know this. it's sweet but ngl a little embarrassing#for him.' and then she has her uh oh spaghetti o moment because it turns out the pining. is mutual.#whenever i wind up doing shippy tlovm oneshots they're supposed to be about one episode. but they turn into like.#a season retrospective. and i gotta be honest that is more work than these are supposed to be lol#anna's fic notes#'blush worthy' feels DEEPLY immature and cringe as a phrase but i don't have a better one yet
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Stay Stay Stay Pairing - Tyler Owens x Fem!Reader Summary - Until you met Tyler, you'd only had shitty boyfriends who would leave at the first sign of trouble or when you started to get too attached. Tyler Owens however is there to show you that he's in it for the long run, even when he finds out you're pregnant with his child. Word Count - 4.5k Warnings - Pregnant Reader, but this is just 4k words of pure fluff based on Taylor Swift's Stay Stay Stay ngl.
You woke up feeling miserable. You had barely gotten any sleep, staying up most of the night crying, and all you could think about was how stupid the fight you and Tyler had seemed now. You glanced over at the clock on your bedside table, and shot up when you realized how late it was. Tyler might have already gone, and now you wouldn’t get the chance to say how sorry you were. The fear of that gripping your chest had you rolling out of bed and out the door. What you saw in the hallway however, had you stopping in your tracks.
As soon as you shut the door behind you, Tyler jolted awake from his spot on the floor, rubbing his eyes. He was still in his clothes from last night, the button up and jeans, complete with cowboy boots. “You stayed out here all night?” You asked, emotion tight in your throat.
Tyler looked up at you, brushing his hair back from his face. “Of course I did. Didn’t know if you might need me or not after those nightmares you’ve been having.”
“But - but I threw something-”
“Your phone.” He informed you.
Heat rushed to your face in embarrassment. “-My phone at you.”
“I don’t know if I’d really say ‘at me’. If so, your aim was pretty off for someone who used to play baseball.” He said, and he started to move so he could stand up.
Before he could though, you bent down and scrambled into his lap, wrapping your arms and legs around him as the tears fell down your cheeks.
He let out a surprised grunt, but put his arms around you as well. “To be honest, not the greeting I was expecting this morning.” He said in a strained voice, probably because you were squeezing him so tight.
“I thought you left already, and I didn’t want you to leave mad at me, because if something happened to you out there. . .” You wondered if he could even understand you with the way your tears messed with your breathing, but you had to tell him. The thought of him leaving while the two of you were mad at each other made you feel sick.
“Hey,” Tyler started running a hand through your hair, the comfort of the motion easing into you. “I wasn’t about to leave without talking to you. I told them I’d catch up.” You closed your eyes as you felt his lips against the side of your head. “And you know I can’t leave without my good luck kiss.”
You pulled back so you could look at him when you said this. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I got so mad. I’ve just been all over the place lately, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m mad one second, the next I’m sobbing, then I can’t keep my eyes open, and the next second I feel like I’m going to die if I’m not jumping your bones-”
Tyler reached up and brushed your tears away with his thumb. “That one’s my favorite.” He said with a smirk.
You leaned forward, resting your forehead against his. “I think I’m going crazy.”
“Baby, you chase tornados in your spare time. Pretty sure by most people’s standards you are crazy,” he said, putting some hair behind your ear.
You shook your head, and playfully smacked him in the chest. “I’m serious. I mean I know I get a little crazy around-” the thought hit you like a freight train. “Tyler, what’s today?”
His brow furrowed, his smirk turning into a frown. “Sunday . . .”
“No! I mean what day of the month?” Were the calculations you were doing in your head right? Had the time passed that quickly?
“It’s the 11th. Why?”
Oh god. You gripped his face in your hands. “Ty, I’m late.”
Tyler squinted at you. “Did you have somewhere to go . . . ?”
You shook your head, your eyes wide with panic. “No, Tyler. I’m late.” You grabbed one of his arms and put his hand on your stomach, giving him a significant look.
It was funny, how you could almost see the gears moving in his mind. It was like when he was trying to decide what storm to chase. You could tell the exact moments your words and actions landed. His eyes widened, and he glanced down at your stomach, then you. “You’re late . . . For that?”
You nodded, watching his face for his reaction. It was an accident of course. The two of you tried to be careful, but one night a couple of months ago after an insane chase . . . The adrenaline got the better of both of you. While you had known you could get pregnant, you thought the chances of it happening the one time you didn’t use protection couldn’t be that high. Well, the universe might be proving you wrong. You weren’t sure how you felt about the possibility, but you were damn sure terrified of what Tyler might be thinking.
You didn’t need to be.
A slow grin started to spread on his face, and within seconds you found yourself hoisted over his shoulder and into the air.
Letting out a little shriek, you grabbed a hold of his shirt. “Tyler! Put me down!”
“Can’t! Got to go buy a pregnancy test.” He said, giving you a smack on the ass that made you squeal again.
“We can’t! I’m not wearing pants!”
“You don’t need pants to take a pregnancy test!” He said.
A laugh left your lips at that, but then you smacked his back to get his attention. “Ty, what about the crew? They’re waiting on you. I can take the test, and call you-”
He put you down then, his hands holding your face and making you look at him. “If you think there is anything more important to me right now than this, you’re wrong.”
It almost embarrassed you that you had thought for even a second any different. “I might not be, you know? I could actually be losing my mind.”
Tyler shrugged. “Either way, there’s no place I’d rather be right now than here with you.” He said, sliding his hands down to grab your own, then leaned forward to give you one of the sweetest kisses you’ve ever had in your life, all gentle and tender, enough to almost bring tears back to your eyes. “Now, there’s my good luck kiss.” He said once he pulled away.
“And what do you need good luck for, huh Owens?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at him.
He smirked at you. “I’ll tell you later.”
And he did. In about five months after he shot fireworks up in a tornado to reveal you were having a boy, just like he wanted.
————————
“Ty! I can pick up potatoes. I’m barely showing.” You said, shaking your head at him as he dived in front of you to get the sack of potatoes before you could.
He put them in the grocery cart, leaning over it and crossing his arms. “See, I know that, but the gentleman in me won’t let the woman carrying my son do something as lowly as pick up potatoes.”
You rolled your eyes. It was sweet, but you knew it was also going to drive you crazy. “If you don’t let me do some things I might murder you in your sleep. I hope you know that.”
Tyler raised his eyebrows at you, pretending to look confused. “Then who would reach all the stuff on the top shelf?” He asked, his expression morphing into a smirk as you crossed your arms over your chest.
“I guess I’ll have to find another tall, handsome cowboy. Shouldn’t be too hard.” You teased, and then grabbed the cart, pushing it past him.
He stopped you, grabbing you around the waist, holding you back against his chest and pressing a kiss against your neck. “Unfortunately, you’ll find I’m very hard to replace.” He murmured against your skin.
You couldn’t help but laugh, elbowing him in the side. “All right cowboy, if you’re going to not let me pick anything up heavier than three pounds, go do me a favor and get the water. Lily said you guys are running low, and the weather conditions for the weekend look rough.”
Tyler pressed another kiss against your neck, and then let you go. “Whatever you say ma’am.”
You watched him walk away, a sight you always enjoyed in those jeans, then hurried up to get as many of your groceries as you could before Tyler came back to not let you do anything again.
“Well, look who it is.”
Oh god, you knew that voice. It was one you hadn’t heard in years now, and one you hoped never to hear again. You almost didn’t want to turn around so you could pretend it wasn’t there, but you knew this person wasn’t going to allow that to happen. It would hurt his ego too much. Turning around, you let out a sigh at the familiar face. “Hey, Charles.”
Your ex was a dick. In fact almost all of your exes were dicks. Until you started dating Tyler, you hadn’t known what it was like to date someone that put you above themselves. Charles was no different. In fact, he was one of the worst, and the way he was looking at you right now made you want to throw up. Or maybe that was the morning sickness . . .
“I’ve got to say,” he looked you up and down. “You’re looking good.”
Nope, it wasn't morning sickness. “Thanks.” You replied, moving your cart so you could go around him. Hopefully you could make a quick escape and pretend this whole interaction had never happened. “It was good seeing you.” Lies.
He grabbed the cart, stopping you in your tracks. “Wait a second. Don’t you think we should catch up some? I mean it’s been-”
“Five years.” You answered, your hands squeezing the handle of the cart.
He smirked. “You kept track?”
You wanted to smack that expression off his face, “to celebrate.”
The nice facade faded upon your words. “You know, I thought maybe you’d changed over the years, but it seems like you’re still a-”
“Got the waters!” You breathed a quick little sigh of relief as Tyler came to a stop beside you, carrying not one, but two packs of water. He placed them in the cart, flipped his baseball cap around backwards, and put his hand on the small of your back. “Who’s this?” Tyler asked with his charming grin.
You took a step closer to Tyler, not because you were scared of Charles, but because you liked the comfort of his presence. Something you never felt with the douche in front of you now. “You remember me telling you about Charles? This is him.”
To Charles, Tyler showed no response to the name, but you felt the hand on your back press a little harder against your skin. Tyler turned to look at you, and there was a little glimmer in his eyes when he spoke. “I don’t actually. Are you sure you’ve mentioned someone named Charles before?”
You had to bite back a smirk once you realized what he was up to. “Yeah, I think so.” You played along.
“Hmmm, I must not have thought it was that important. Anyway, Tyler Owens.” He held out his hand to Charles, and you watched Charles’s face with delight. Not only had Tyler made him feel unimportant, something you knew from experience he couldn’t stand, but Tyler was . . . a big man. At least a foot taller than Charles, and more muscles on him than this guy could ever hope to have. You didn’t however expect the look of disbelief that crossed his face.
“Tyler Owens? The tornado wrangler?” He asked, almost too shocked to shake his hand, but then he collected himself and reached for Tyler’s.
“The very same.” He said. “Though I’ve got to say, I think my favorite title is her future husband.” He said, nodding his head back to you.
Heat flushed straight to your face at the bold statement. Tyler and you hadn’t talked much about marriage. You had thought that might be the logical next step, but you also didn’t want to bring it up if it scared him away. With past boyfriends, including the one in front of you, it always had. You should’ve known by now though that Tyler was nothing like that. You leaned into him more now, smiling as his arm went around you and his hand rested on your stomach.
“Her future-” Charles looked dumbfounded, and you also didn’t miss the wince when Tyler shook his hand probably more roughly than necessary.
“Got to lock her down, you know? Plenty of other idiots have already let her go. I’m not going to make the same mistake.” Tyler replied, giving you a smile full of mischief.
You placed your hand on top of the one he had on your stomach. “Ty, I’m having your baby. I don’t think you have to worry about that.” You assured him, your smile widening as he kissed your cheek.
“You’re - you’re pregnant?”
You’d almost forgotten Charles was there with Tyler’s sudden proclamation, but his words pulled your attention back to him. Turning to the side, you let him see the slight curve to your stomach. “Yep. Four months to go before we meet our baby boy.”
As soon as you said the words, Tyler’s face lit up with genuine excitement like it always did. “I can’t wait.” He turned back to Charles, putting both of his arms around you protectively now. “How do you two know each other again?” Tyler asked, and once again you had to fight back a laugh.
“It doesn’t matter.” You said, looking back up at Tyler with a soft smile. “We need to be getting out of here anyway right babe?”
“Yes ma’am. Well, it was nice to meet you, Chuck.” Tyler said, stepping back from you so he could grab a hold of the cart with one hand, taking your hand in the other.
You couldn’t hold your laughter back anymore at that point, entwining your fingers together as you followed him to the register, leaving Charles standing dumbfounded in your wake.
________________
It was the thing you had been the most scared of happening. You had no one else to blame other than yourself though. You were the one who had insisted that Tyler go on the chase. It was supposed to be a large storm, and you reminded him that it was the last one he’d probably go on for a while since the season was ending, as was your pregnancy. You had faith that he would be careful, knowing that he wouldn’t risk anything that would endanger him from meeting his son.
What you hadn’t expected however, was your water to break three weeks early.
It was safe to say you were panicking when you called your sister to come get you, and by the time they wheeled you back to your room, you were close to a full blown meltdown. “I can’t do this without him.” You told her, holding your stomach as if that could keep him in, tears streaming down your face. “And he’s at least five hours away! What if I don’t have that long?!”
Your sister, who was more calm than you, grabbed your hand, giving it a squeeze. “He will make it, I’m sure. You’ve texted him right?”
You bit your lip, and when your sister gave you a look, you blurted. “I didn’t want to ruin his chase! I thought I’d wait to see if the doctor was even going to take me!”
“Oh my god.” She reached into your bag and grabbed your phone. You held out your hand for it, but she was already texting away. “There, done.”
“What did you say?”
But she didn’t answer, instead she waited about ten seconds and said, “he said he’s on his way.”
You nodded, watching as she put your phone back in your purse. God you hoped he was going to make it. The thought of doing this without him was terrifying. You were already scared enough that something was wrong because of how early he was. Having to have this baby without Tyler by your side, reassuring you the whole way, seemed impossible.
A few minutes later, while you were lost in your thoughts, the door to your room opened and a nurse walked in. “Hey, honey, how’re we doing?”
“She’s panicking.” Your sister replied for you.
You glared at her. “My boyfriend, he’s - he’s not going to be able to get here for a few hours, do you think I have that long?”
She gave you a sympathetic smile. “Well that’s according to him I’d say, because I speak from experience when I say babies don’t wait for no one.” She said.
Oh god, he wasn’t going to make it. You just knew it. He wasn’t going to make it in time, and you would have to try and do this without him, and you didn’t think that you could. You needed him. You needed him so badly it added to the pain you were already in, and the worst part was that it was your fault. If you hadn’t forced him to go on that chase -
“I’m here, I’m here!”
To your complete and utter shock, Tyler came sliding into your room, taking his cowboy hat off and hurrying to your side.
“Ty?” Was all you could think to say.
“Did I miss anything?” Tyler asked, taking your hand in his own and looking at your nurse.
“Dad, I assume?” The nurse said with a smile.
Tyler beamed at the use of the word. “About to be.”
“In that case, you haven’t missed a thing yet. We’re about to take some vitals and get this show on the road.” She informed him. “Glad you could make it.” She said, and left your room. Your sister, sensing the two of you needed some alone time, followed close behind.
Once they had both left, your thoughts caught up to your brain, and you squeezed Tyler’s hand. “Tyler Owens, I’ve never been more happy to see you in my entire life, but how the hell did you get here so fast?”
He gave you an affectionate smile, and reached up to wipe away the tears you didn’t even know you’d still been crying. “Yeah, so about that chase . . . I never went.”
“You - you what?”
He started stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. “You were less than a month away from having our son. I knew you’d blame yourself if I didn’t go, but I also knew if something happened while I was away . . . You’d blame yourself too. So I just . . . stayed at a hotel the past couple of nights.”
You couldn’t even be mad. He knew you too well, and the relief you felt that he was here to help you was too much to be upset. “I was so scared you were going to miss it.”
“Not for the largest tornado in the world baby.” Tyler said, bringing your hand up to his lips to kiss it. “You ready to do this?” He asked as they started wheeling in the equipment.
Not five minutes ago you were horrified. The effect of Tyler’s presence on your emotions was remarkable. With him by your side, you had no doubts that you could do this. You could have this baby. “Now that you’re here? Definitely.”
Tyler leaned forward to give you the last kiss the two of you would have before you were parents, the smile on his lips unmistakable.
————————
“He looks so much like you it’s like you birthed him.” You said with a tired laugh. It was god knows how many hours later, you had never been more tired in your life, and somehow you and Tyler had squeezed into your tiny hospital bed. You were leaning against his shoulder, eyes glued to the baby he held in his arms that was looking up at you both curiously.
“Not completely. I know that nose anywhere.” He said, gently tapping your son in the nose. Then, for the first time since his son had been placed in his arms, he looked at you, the unmistakable glint of tears in his eyes. “He’s perfect.”
You knew that you were already emotional. You were exhausted, overwhelmed and a million other things at once, but the way Tyler was looking at your son, then at you? Your whole body seemed to light up with warmth. It was love all over his face, pure, intense love, and you didn’t think you’d ever be able to forget what it looked like again. You felt too choked up to speak, so you slipped your arm through his to curl your hand around his bicep, and turned your head to kiss his shoulder.
A smile formed on your face as Tyler looked back at your son, that adoring expression not fading for a second. “This is the best day of my life so far.”
“So far?” You said curiously.
“Well, you haven’t agreed to marry me yet.” He replied, grinning over at you.
Your smile widened, giving his arm a little squeeze. “Ty, you haven’t asked.”
“I haven’t?” Tyler said, pretending to look confused. “It’s a great proposal. You’ll just have to wait and see.”
You rolled your eyes, but the thought of Tyler proposing to you made you feel giddy. “Does it involve fireworks in a tornado?” You teased.
He shook his head. “Nah, been there, done that. Boone would love it though.” Tyler shifted your son, who cuddled right against his chest. “By the way, the crew’s waiting outside with your sister.”
You sat further up, wincing when you moved too quickly. “Jeez Tyler, how long have they been out there?”
“Since they dropped me off.” He admitted.
“You mean none of them went on the chase either?” You said in shock.
Tyler shook his head again, “They said this was going to be better than any tornado.”
Your throat clogged with emotion again, and you really hoped this crying at the drop of a hat wasn’t going to last long. “Go get them! They deserve to see him!”
He reached up, brushing a tear away from your face. “Are you sure? I know how tired you are, and I can tell them to come back tomorrow.”
“I can sleep when they’re gone. Right now I want them to see what they gave up a chase for.” You said, holding out your arms for the baby.
Tyler leaned forward, giving you a kiss on your forehead and handing your son over as gently as if he was made of glass. You smiled as he snuggled right up to your chest, and knew that there was no better feeling in the world than this right here. When you looked up, Tyler was staring at the two of you as if he was trying to memorize this moment. “I love you.” He said finally.
You felt like you could float at that moment, so light and loved. “We love you too.” You told him, and the softest smile formed on his face. “Go,” you told him before you started crying again. “We’re not going anywhere.” You joked.
“You better not.” He played along, giving you a mock stern look, and then he went outside the door.
Not ten seconds later you heard a cheer from outside your door, and you couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at their enthusiasm. Of course, they were shushed by nurses, and then Tyler brought them all in.
You smiled at them as your sister, Lily, Boone, Dex and Dani’s eyes all went straight to the baby in your arms. Lily, Dani, your sister and Dex rushed forward to get a better look and started cooing over him, the biggest smiles on their faces while Boone hung back, eyes wide like he couldn’t believe the baby was a real thing.
“We got you guys something.” Dex said, holding up some familiar looking material as Tyler got back into the bed with you. He handed him the shirts, and Tyler unfolded them, letting out a laugh before showing them to you. It was similar to the normal shirts, but instead of Tyler’s face, it was a baby with a cowboy hat. That would have been hilarious enough, but instead of saying, “not my first tornadeo” it said, “this is my first babeo.”
“Oh my god, it’s so cheesy. I love it.” You said with a laugh yourself.
“We also got little man . . .” Dani held up a little onesie that said, “mini wrangler” on it with their tornado logo.
You grinned, looking down at the bundle of cuteness in your arms. “It’s perfect.” You said, turning your smile to them. “Thank you guys for bringing Ty by the way, and staying. I would have understood if you all went on the chase.”
“Are you crazy? We weren’t going to miss this.” Lily said, giving your son a little wave.
Your eyes went over to Boone though, still standing back a little ways. The man who had gone into tornados and helped shoot fireworks and rockets up into them was looking at the baby in your arms like it was a bomb. “Hey Boone, you want to hold him?” You asked.
“Oh, I don’t - I wouldn’t even know how-”
But Dani was already pushing him towards you. “It’s all right Boone, you got this.” You reassured him, sitting up a little more to hand him your son.
“Make sure you get the back of his head.” Tyler said, watching with the eyes of a hawk as you gently placed him in Boone’s arms.
“Woah.” Boone said, as he looked down at him.
Tyler wrapped his arm around your shoulder, and now that your arms were free, you curled into his side, resting your head on his chest and wrapping your arm around his stomach.
“T, man! He looks just like you!” Boone said, and you smiled at the excitement in his voice.
“Except for the nose.” Tyler said, and you found your eyes closing as Tyler pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
He was so comfortable, and you were so tired. You felt yourself starting to drift off as his thumb brushed up and down your shoulder. It was hard not to when you felt so safe and loved, surrounded by your family, your new baby and the love of your life.
Tyler could sense it, and he leaned down to whisper in your ear. “You want me to kick them out?”
You shook your head, tightening your grip on him. “They can stay.” You murmured, nuzzling into him. “Make sure Boone doesn’t get too excited and drop our baby.” You joked.
“Yes ma’am.” Tyler responded with a chuckle, pulling you closer. “You go ahead and rest. I'll be here when you wake up.”
“I know.” You mumbled sleepily with a soft smile. “You always stay.”
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