#feels a little embarrassing ngl
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going to the mall with my mom consists of her hating blaring loud music of songs she doesn’t know and her almost buying a really cringey mug. I wanted to buy a band tee but we were in a rush and honestly I’m pretty happy with my Star Wars keychain!! My sister kept complaining that I don’t even like Star Wars but she’s totally wrong because Star Wars is groovy :)) the ice cream was super good too. I bought rings at target and some of them weren’t even in the pack but it’s okay! (They look like the kind you’d find in Walmart or the dollar tree) The escalator is so terrifying to me still (since I was little) there were books but I couldn’t find any that sounded super interesting. I did see some jewelry that looked cool (it was silver) we got fries but I was tired so I didn’t eat any. I wish summer wasn’t so hot :(( In my opinion, this day was way better than going to the movies with my friend !!
#diary entry#ig#feels a little embarrassing ngl#mall trip#I wrote this bcuz I liked today tbh#I think I should write more
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ive received multiple dms or asks asking why i blocked people (fyi to the anons, i dont have that many people blocked so youre not saving yourself much embarrassment by being anonymous😭) and im just gonna say this here EVEN THOUGH I DONT OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS im just tired of the messages
i will block anyone who has disrespectful takes (usually misogynistic but sometimes just straight up mean, FOR EXAMPLE if you make a really farfetched take or disregard canon SPECIFICALLY for the sake of discrediting someone elses take or ship) or if you always post a ship i dont want to see 🤷🏻♀️
so basically youll get blocked for being a dick... or a torisai shipper 😭😭 thats the criteria
#i have the k*bokai and t*risai tags filtered#so if you post either of them untagged i will probably block#but also this is really not something you need to wonder about#do i have to have a reason to not want to see someones blog#its not a personal attack#i used to think like that and then i was like#i constantly post one of the most hated ships (k*bosai) and i used to spam post a lot#those r two valid reasons for someone to block and neither r a personal attack on me#nobody needs a 'valid' reason to block someone but it just put it into perspective ig#if i recieve even one more of these after posting this i may go crazy/nsrs#its a little embarrassing that people r like going on side blogs n shit just to ask me abt this#but i'll give the benefit of the doubt cuz its probably really young people#this post itself is a little embarrassing to make ngl i feel like everyones just gonna go 'who cares' 'nobody said that' or something LOL#sorry this isnt instagram reels#meows post
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✨ Friendly reminder - I don’t find spam liking a compliment. If you have a sfw blog or don’t want to reblog nsfw posts for whatever reason then I’d suggest either making a side blog specifically for promoting content creators or send a tip to show love 🫶
#I’ve been away for awhile#ngl I forgot a few of things that drove me a little crazy#(little or a lot depending on what it is)#idk I find spam liking to be like a slap in the face#either I think that person thinks I’m hot enough to keep in their likes (spank bank) but not hot enough to reblog#or they’re ashamed or embarrassed for liking fat girls???#cause I know there’s plenty of those people still out there#I just generally could never see spam liking as a compliment#spam liking along with spam reblogging?#bro go for it#maybe even leave me some cute tags to look at later 🫣#but idk just spam liking and leaving it at that is just rude in my opinion#I know everyone feels differently but that’s just how I feel#anyway if any of you spam likers want to send a tip#my cashapp is still $rosicheeks420#shut up rosie#rosie speaks
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uh oh besties, it might be time for my (almost) annual Dishonored replay again
#this time ill probably play it in german#im always a little curious about german translations ngl#i also need to replay disco elysium in german one day#ive been watching my friend play and hes been using the switching the languages back and forth feature a lot#and honestly some of the things in the translation really intrigue me#they translated 'innocence' to 'Schuldreine' which is a choice and I honestly love it#they could have said 'Unschuldige' or just 'Unschuld' but 'Schuldreine' is so much better imo#bc its not the most immediately obvious choice of translation#whatever thats a ramble for another day#point is: I replay dishonored a lot bc - and this is maybe a little embarrassing -#i have this really convoluted af rwby and dishonored crossover AU that has been plaguing (hah) my mind since like?? 2020 or smth#and im always like alright lemme replay the games and rewatch the show so i can work on it#and then i always stop after replaying the first game haha it has become tradition to me at this point#bc i get embarrassed :( of my interests :( again :( *kicks rock*#yea yea i know unlearning shame and all that im working on it. anyways dont mind me im feeling chatty today
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toji secretly loves the princess bride . fact.
#would never say it out loud though#he watched it when he was younger and genuinely thought it was so funny and....... sweet#and he still thinks so#but he really truly would never admit it#thinks that it's very embarrassing#will tease you if you say that you like it too while his own heart stutters a bit lmao#and when you watch it with him he's got a veeery faint little smile on his lips#ngl i think he'd end up mouthing along to some of the lines by accident too#he just feels comfortable around you so he doesn't have his guard up yk#i really do think he's a softie inside okay............#mickey is daydreaming#toji#miji
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I don’t think we talk enough how the 2019 Loki comic tried to do “erm… God of Stories doesn’t really fit me anymore… 🫤🙁” only for that entire sentiment to be ignored in every comic that came after and for Loki to continue to be called God of Stories. And as they should be!!
#kind of embarrassing ngl#like loki’s almost had the gos title for 10 years and it’s been so underutilized#why would you want to move past the gos title already. why don’t u just make storylines that use gos in a unique way#IT’S SUCH A COOL TITLE WITH COOL ABILITIES. YOU CAN DO SM WITH IT#the god of outcasts title is fine but they should’ve never tried loki not liking the gos title#or at least not in 4 ISSUES with such little buildup towards loki feeling that way#maybe one day gos will get old?? idk comics go on for years and years maybe it’ll get stale eventually#but it definitely does not need to go anytime soon imo#i I have a love hate relationship with loki 2019#loki#loki 2019#loki comics
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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In response to your latest post (the one with sticks in the mud): Honestly i love this vibe you bring into the epic cycle, you're literally my fav blog on tumblr bc of how well you menage to ballance seriousness and silliness, love all your posts (especially water wife ones tho) <3
Oh, Thank you so much! That means so much! You're so kind, dear anon! I'm genuinely honored that you consider me a fave blog! <3 🥹
There are so many folks who AREN'T stuck in the mud but the folks who ARE usually are loud about it. And so it felt good to vent that out :D I'm NOT a professional or in school for classics/ancient history, so sometimes I get worried as the last thing I want to do is disrespect and/or screw up in that.
I've been told that I "woobify" when I'm definitely not trying to (at least in matters where there's nothing to woob. lol stuff gets dark ofc) and I...don't know if I do?? At least nothing TOO crazy. Ofc, you are soft with your loved ones, who isn't? That doesn't mean they don't do messed up things either.
I'm happy having fun and being silly! :D
And I love it when people join in!
#ngl I get a bit embarrassed by my slang/dialect as... it just SCREAMS “ADHD country bumpkin” and I feel like a fool talking about#something serious sometimes :P#this is really sweet. I'm happy. Thank you!#anon#ask#Water Wife#shot by odysseus#Mad rambles#🩵#(I have a LITTLE feeling that you're one of my wormlings/homies in disguise but either way this means so much!!! 🩵)
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shhhhh
#hiding this in the tags bc I'm a little embarrassed#but i see so many somno posts that are like “play with me till I'm wet enough” is in there which yes hot#but also ngl.... the thought of a woman jacking herself off#and her using her pre as lube/using the BAREST amount of lube/not working me up at all/going in mostly dry and judt shoving herself in#so she can feel how fast my pussy gets wet from the violent intrusion is so 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴#ugh i need to be [redacted ideas here]#u can also comment/send asks/tease abt this a little but I'm also soooo shy i had to hide it 🫣
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Imagine asking for help from someone and they just ignore you…… how embarrassing :))
#ngl girlies I’ve been drinking so I’m over sharing but also like damn#even if someone can’t help me..just communicate that lol#my ego feels a little hurt & embarrassed#I never ask for help and feel so weird that I did#guess Ik what I’ll be talking about in my next therapy session
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I’m having another style crisis 😀
And here is a wip im doing for a Twitter collab… Sausage is mad at Hemera 🫢
I’ve been wanting to draw for days now but it feels like I can’t draw— then FFXVI came out and Clive is giving me emotional damage
#is it embarrassing that I cried when I played the demo?#I’m a very emotional person— don’t fight me#ngl it was such a refresher to do a bit of realism#anyways… I’ll probably be in my hole for a little longer#gotta finish FFXVI and possibly make fan art of it idk#hphl#hphl mc#hphl oc#hemera fotia#might delete this later— I honestly just wanted to post something because I feel bad for just going silent
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never had a post get over 1000 notes but i think im starting to understand why people hate their posts getting popular so much
#it feels a little embarrassing ngl. i feel exposed#especially when its a text post. art getting a lots of notes is nice. text post is terrifying#also i lied i had one (1) post get over a 1000 notes. it was a tma anniversary piece#but yeah. whenever a text post i make gets over 30 notes i start shivering with fear
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Sending you comfort and strength! Remember you can just block em. Unfollow- even if its just for a little while, even if they are friends or mutuals. let them know their behavior is negatively affecting you and that it has consequences. hope you take care of yourself. I hope things calm down soon.
Thank you <3 Yeah, you're right. I typically just put up with some level of wank in fandom without batting an eye, but everything is shit. I just wanted some comfort. And we've gotta crap all over people just having fun because you don't like certain tropes or ships or--anything, really? Life's too fucking short. Like, yeah, I sure can be salty about things, and there are fandom things I personally dislike, but dragging people doesn't get anyone anywhere. If I'm feeling grumpy, I try to turn it into love for the opposite, the things I do like, which in turn helps build community and inspire more of the good stuff, instead of dividing and fragmenting folks.
Sorry this is quite a ramble askdjnaksjn I did need the encouragement to curate my space, regardless of wishing I didn't have to. My cat has gotten a lot worse, and unless there's a small miracle, we'll be making the call in the next day or two. Things are really tight, there's some family illness going on, and just a ton of fires to put out on my plate. And this is just shitty.
There are legitimate problems that affect real people that should be talked about, yeah. Like unchecked racism or the like (looking at that whole drama with that one specific user a few weeks back). But a lot of fandom bullshit is just petty or performative and, again. I just want a little fun and comfort. And now I don't even want to seek it out anymore. It sucks.
Sorry again for rambling, you don't have to read all this :'D And thank you <3
#Animal Illness#Ask#Anon#Yadda Yadda#I feel a little embarrassed posting this ngl#But I want to share an update#And I've got no spoons to censor myself
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Ok, about 230 words of LtA translated tonight. There was a paragraph with a giant complicated sentence that slowed me down a bit. Better than no progress at all though!
Bernard was introduced in what I translated tonight. I saw on the wiki that it seems he's generally referred to as Ky's butler, but I decided to render the word 「執事」 as "steward" instead because he does more than just cleans Ky's house and bring him tea biscuits lol
Bernard manages crime syndicate reports, compiles summaries of them, and works as an analyst for Ky at the former Holy Order HQ in Paris, too. That's way above a standard "butler," imo. It seems like the word 「家令」 more generally means what we think of a butler as in English anyway.
LtA hasn't referred to Bernard with「家令」 at all, but if Norimitsu uses that or「��トラー」to refer to his job later I'll change it.
#textpost#lta tag#It's kind of wild how a single word choice can completely change the tone/feel of an entire character...#ALSO translating a book is a little intimidating now ngl!!#When I did Begin and Artworks '07 I had like 1/5th the following online that I have now ahaha#Hope when I make a mistake that it's not an embarrassing one that lingers for decades :'D#Well! As long as it's mostly accurate then I suppose that will have to be good enough for a self-taught for-free hobby project rofl#I feel like I've finally got into a good stride with this thing so I wanna try to get at least a couple paragraphs done each night#Scrivener says I've done about 24k characters of this 92k character document. The word count for Japanese isn't accurate but-#-the character count seems to be a little closer. Nearing about 1/4 the way done doesn't feel right though#It's a 6 chapter book... Hm.... Maybe some of the later chapters are really short or something. Begin's were mostly the same length...#Anyway it's time for bed good night
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i would share my builds but. i’m gonna be honest i just go with vibes. weapon would look pretty with certain character? it’s theirs now. artifacts seem even slightly useful regardless of whether or not they’re the most efficient set? slap those bitches on. i play genshin like i play pokemon: with my favorites and while pressing as many buttons as possible until the enemy dies - teddy anon
OH YOU JUST LIKE ME FR FR
kazuha has the isshin sword even though i have an aquila favonia cause that goes to kaeya who i built because i like him, even when he did lower damage. i run kazuha as a dps even though he’s supposed to be support (i have a p well done diluc that does more normal attack damage but.. kazuha :] and kukis supposed to be like a hyperbloom driver i think but i have her as healer. my baizhu is currently using her set cause i like the burn reaction (w benny, who i still haven’t built properly (just a ton of er for burst stuff) and only use for pyro applications lmao) even though he’s supposed to be like. a sub dps. he and kuki probably work well together but i can’t hear that over the sound of my burst support childe who ran freeze with kaeya for an embarrassing amount of my early abyss runs. i still haven’t attempted floor twelve and unless i get my shit together i don’t think i will. strategy i hardly know her, i just go “unga bunga men pretty” and that got me to ar 57. i have yet to level my mona despite her being a great support (she does have a r5 dragons tales for when i want childe to look pretty against the pyro flower but that’s it) and my xingqiu still doesn’t have good artifacts. my team ‘comps’ are “dps dps.2 sub dps/applicator healer” and i have not strayed from this in my entire time playing. chongyun is objectively bad for my current playstyle but that has not stopped me from trying. i will get a freeze team with him xingqiu and maybe kaeya if it kills me
#m1d : [chats]#teddy anon#woo lotta tags watch out#this got long but i. feel a lot about this game#i have a lot of ’it works’ builds but only like one solid one which is awkward but not the worst thing#‘jack of all trades master of none; still better than a master of one’ right#(i didn’t use my fully built diluc for the longest time except when grinding cryo flower (chongyun) cause i don’t like overloaded)#(i have a kazuha.)#(and regularly cringe when he isn’t on my team)#ngl it’s embarrassing how dependent i am on kaz. he’s not there i don’t know how to get the enemies together. what do.#before him it was heizou and his burst and before that it was aether and his skill/burst#me when anemo amirite (has a lv 20 jean and sayu i haven’t touched in ages)#that’s a lie sayu helps w crystalflies and unusual hillichurls#and diluc does go on both of those trips too#unrelated but there’s a bird like three feet away from me#just. walkin about. you go little guy i hope you get all the worms (it’s well into the afternoon)#unrelated x2 but i have an au for a piece of media i like and it’s so annoying that only i and like one other person know about it. cringe.#please i want to consume fan content of my au but i’m the oNLY FAN IT SUCKS#birds back. hey guy. wanna hear about my [it technically spans three fandoms oh lord] au?#i do think this is a low point in my life#like i’ll go to be judged and the guy’ll go ‘you made these three medias touch’ ‘they hold hands actually’ ‘why’ ‘funny’#what do anime minecraft and marvel have in common? me baby#if there is no god to save you then you must make your own#fun fact i first wrote that like ten minutes ago and got a nosebleed right after#if there’s a god they certainly hate me. and that’s fair
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I’m turning 29 tomorrow and I’m feeling suitably
about it
#ngl ‘I have wasted my youth and I’ve done nothing with my life and I’m on the road to eternal mediocrity’#is my everyday baseline and it’s really intensifying#and I know that life doesn’t end at 30 but I’ve missed out on so many just. normal experiences and milestones#that I see most people around me having had or passed years and years ago#I’m honestly embarrassed of how little I’ve accomplished#I know I know it’s not true or logical but it really does feel that way#sorry this is the depression corner rn#it’s just :///#cecil blogs her life
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