Of course I’m an afterthought.
Thanks to my friends for making plans without me and then being like “you’re invited as well!!!!!!”
Haha. Thank you. Glad to know I’m that important to you.
Gonna kms
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why the fuck does my brain have to betray me right before hanging out with friends?
i like spending time with these friends. i don’t get to do it a lot (with any of my friends really) and it’s probably the last chance i’ll have for a while with the school year approaching
and yet. today i am hollow and very low and now the insomnia is overwhelmingly bad because i am in a very bad spot (week out from my period which is definitely playing a part in all this- have been emotionally volatile all week but it’s at its peak today i guess)
idk. i just hate this because i feel like a flake. i feel like a bad friend. i want nothing more than to go over and get drunk with my friends and maybe just let it all go for a night. but i don’t know if i can. if i feel this empty and shitty tomorrow i’ll probably make up some lame excuse and stay home and wallow.
it’s just so so so frustrating to want to do something so badly, to want to show up and be social because you’re so rarely a social being, and then have your stupid fucking mind ruin it all before it can even happen. i feel so useless and unworthy
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it seemed like agab was useful at first but it really has become just gender binary 2. but at least the people calling me a woman arent dressing up their language to seem soo progressive and accepting. anyway if i ever see a "afab only" queer space im fucking running
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I get that my loved ones want me to unmask and I understand unmasking is good for my health but everytime I hear someone say ‘they’re a bit weird don’t you think’ with a FAT side eye abt someone I was/am friends with it reminds me that if I acted how I wanted the majority of society would exclude me and Issues cannot handle that possibility. so I will continue to mask and not be ‘weird’
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CAN I ALSO SAY IT FEELS EVEN WORSE WHEN ITS AN AFAB READER AND NOT JUST FEM READER
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