#feeling excluded is the worst | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

liesmultixxx · 5 months ago

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Of course I’m an afterthought.

Thanks to my friends for making plans without me and then being like “you’re invited as well!!!!!!”

Haha. Thank you. Glad to know I’m that important to you.

Gonna kms

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trans-leek-cookie · 3 months ago

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yknow what. I wanna say: CSA and COCSA survivors are all incredible, but I also wanna give a shout out to ppl who were exposed to sexual stuff or had any kind of sexual experience as a kid that they either aren't comfortable labelling as or don't consider abuse, but they know it still fucking sucked and shouldnt have happened. Even if that changes later in life and you identify as a victim/surivor, it can be messy to have to imagine those labels applying to the ppl in ur life and that can take time.

The most important thing is to prioritize your recovery + health, and to support other victims + survivors.

#COCSA ment #CSA ment #This is like. V personal and venting (maybe over sharing)#It's. I'm going to be honest recent discussion really brought this back into my brain aaughhh. Not in a bad way necessarily #Just. I know I've had experiences that I think others might label this way and I struggle to really understand that #Beyond the gut feeling of ''it doesnt count'' there's the understand that I might be denying it bc of shame or even just. The fact I have #An internal definition of it that excludes myself. And that I don't want to imagine the other ppl as 'abusive' and I don't think they had #The intent to hurt me. And the fact in one situation I know none of us understood boundaries or consent bc we didn't #Actually talk with adults about what like. Sex and sexuality meant so all out fucking context was porn. And just idk #I have specific experiences but those Memorable Incidents were just part of a larger pattern of me learning Abt sex young #And then failing to get proper sex ed for years. And the internet. And the Fucking Internet #(fanfic is like. Anti sex ed. 70% just the fucking worst shit to internalize 30% ''hey this is actually Okay'')#Sex Ed... Like in school... Needs a fucking HEAVY overhaul but it's still better than nothing usually

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theflyingfeeling · 9 months ago

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...😭

#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one #the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all #i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today #as i was absolutely useless today #and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again #i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again #i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it #i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn #and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now #also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely #and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends #for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations #on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed #i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely #please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby

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nexus-nebulae · 5 months ago

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kinda wanna cry bc i just dont know who i am rn and havent really for weeks and every other known front gets harder and harder to sustain

#trying to get anyone familiar in front doesn't work anymore #but we don't know. who we are. the new ones. if there's more than one. if there's any. what we are #and we've been trying and trying to find resources for figuring this out but most new headmate guides are either:#telling you minute details about like what a phone is and what earth is which is. overkill for us with mostly shared memory #or what honestly feels like an OC introduction sheet #or just made solely for fictives and excludes any experiences of brainmades like asking whats your source and what do you remember #i have no memories i have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING i don't know ANYTHING about myself #I'm not anything and nothing helps #how the fuck am i supposed to choose a name when I don't even know WHAT i am #trying to force others into front is making us feel sick and anxious and 1000000 times more forgetful and disassociatey #but not knowing who i am is the worst feeling in the world #i just want something i KNOW #i just want to know anything

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howifeltabouthim · 3 months ago

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'I just felt excluded, however kind you all were, I felt I was on the outside of your real concerns.'

Iris Murdoch, from A Fairly Honourable Defeat

#odd one out #excluded #outsider #on the outside #odd man out #the worst feeling #dialogue #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #iris murdoch #a fairly honourable defeat

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aeolianblues · 5 months ago

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I’m a Strokes fan in the way only someone who hates the Strokes can be

#Like I love love the first album and will vibe to it and it makes me feel so cool walking downtown #And yet for some (excluded for brevity) reasons I cannot stand their guts and resent them #I just know if I was in that NY scene I would viscerally hate half the people involved #Or maybe that’s just the version of me who’s young in the 2020s and knows we will never afford an actual scene talking #The Strokes #the last time an artist could survive in NY proper right? Now everyone’s a long-distance commuter #music #Meet Me In The Bathroom #Her book is pretty detailed though; I respect that it’s 700 pages!#I just hate everyone in it #And maybe relate to the worst ones #That’s not good btw #00s music

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kenjakusbraincum · 1 year ago

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lol i want to fucking die just like i predicted

#everyone jumped me my last couple of free days #friends family professors #i have like 10 ppl and 10 assignments i have to meet/finish in the next... 4 days #yall cannot be real right now #and also i just came back from the worst bday party #i felt so overwhelmed and excluded evem though i knew half of the people there #i wanna cry #and i cant just tell my friends/family oh i dont have time for you lol shouldve texted me earlier #im so bad at saying no like that #at this point i think ill just.. stop coming to my home country for holidays #its starting to always be a fucking nuisanc #e #like im supposed to enjoy my time here not stress about it #if i was abroad at least i wouldnt hwve to think about fitting ten fucking people who feel entitled to my time in my schedule #but alright #my head aches

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excelsior9173 · 5 months ago

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…

why the fuck does my brain have to betray me right before hanging out with friends?

i like spending time with these friends. i don’t get to do it a lot (with any of my friends really) and it’s probably the last chance i’ll have for a while with the school year approaching

and yet. today i am hollow and very low and now the insomnia is overwhelmingly bad because i am in a very bad spot (week out from my period which is definitely playing a part in all this- have been emotionally volatile all week but it’s at its peak today i guess)

idk. i just hate this because i feel like a flake. i feel like a bad friend. i want nothing more than to go over and get drunk with my friends and maybe just let it all go for a night. but i don’t know if i can. if i feel this empty and shitty tomorrow i’ll probably make up some lame excuse and stay home and wallow.

it’s just so so so frustrating to want to do something so badly, to want to show up and be social because you’re so rarely a social being, and then have your stupid fucking mind ruin it all before it can even happen. i feel so useless and unworthy

#exie vents #this one is.. not good. pls ignore #i am not doing very well at the moment #idk my friends and fam left this afternoon and i’m home alone and for some reason that’s breaking me apart #i think part of it is that they’re all off having lives and being social in ways i want to be but can’t because i shafted myself with work #instead of camping with my family i’m stuck alone at work. while the rest of them have fun.#it’s just that longstanding feeling of being left out. being the last person anyone would ask to join something.#and apparently i just subconsciously put myself in situations where i remove the opportunity for exclusion #i exclude myself in advance #that’s a hangup from high school. from people being friendly but i didn’t have friends #i was the last person invited to anything.#i think the worst though was when the other girl with my name in the class couldn’t go to a movie night #so they asked me to come so that they would have someone with my name there. and i went. because i was so desperate to belong #and you know what? i never ever belonged. i was a laughing stock. pretty sure everyone thought i was pathetic

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skrunksthatwunk · 6 months ago

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feeling it a little tonight

#:<#itd be so nice pleaseee #houghhhhhhhguhg theyre sosilly theyre such sily guys #like no we dont't need more animals in our house. so they say. but i WANT more #but also (and this is very dumb ik) if they actually get a cat then when i live on campus it'll like.#grow close to everybody without me :((#i don't want this cat to exclude me from the family grouppuhhhh #it's not gonna happen until one of our dogs in particular carks it which is too too scary to think about #you can't make me so like. yeah. but i wanna cat sooooo BADDDD #we dont have to wait we could just. train izzy not to eat them (<- aware that that is very dubious at best)#guhhhhhhhhh moping moping sulk sulk sulk #my family's talked a little about getting a maine coon if it doesn't set off my mom's allergies bc she also wants a cat #but i'd have to wait for probably a year after my elderly dogs die (mourning period) AND THATS TOO LONGGG #that's too long if it starts TOMORROW and i don't exactly want my dogs to die any time soon y'know #hrnghhhhguyhhhhhghh but i wanna cat so baddddd #it's all rascal's fault that little goober. waufhhh i miss him #thyre so silly theyre so sillyyyy. bawling howling throwing just the lamest saddest tantrum rn (<- looks like this :| atm)#like my dogs dying would actually destroy me im not joking at all but it would be easier if there was a cat there #i get the mourning period tradition but it makes everything feel so much emptier #i feel like it exaggerates the worst parts of the grieving process. but thats just me ig

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tcypionate · 10 months ago

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it seemed like agab was useful at first but it really has become just gender binary 2. but at least the people calling me a woman arent dressing up their language to seem soo progressive and accepting. anyway if i ever see a "afab only" queer space im fucking running

#ive been in one and theyre usually by the worst people you'll ever meet #sorry if this makes people angry #i grew up around trans women who eventually were the ones to help me start my transition and seeing them be excluded from where they should #feel safe makes me so nauseatingly angry. sorry if this makes me sound like a chaser or something but i genuinely dont want to be in a self #labeled queer space if it excludes my trans sisters because it's extremely indicative of the people who inhabit it lol #sorry for this seeming like an after thought but this also includes nb people and masc/butch trans women with no intent for passing as fem

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robotsafari · 9 months ago

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i know back then (like when i was twelve.) i would’ve been groaning at scenes where sora is liek “omg they’re like me and kairi fr” but honestly those scenes are so fucking adorable . this is a win for the bisexuals.

like sora is 100% bi. he is longing for both of his partners this whole fucking game.

#robo ramble #and like. hot take or whatever people would say abotu the thing im gonna say but #soriku on its own . mostly the way ppl portray it feels like textbook popular yaoi if you know what i mean #where the two are fundamentally misunderstood for the yaoi #and also misogyny in excluding kairi.#honestly the worst type of soriku content is anti-sorikai shit #like thats blatant biphobia.#and polyphobia (is that what its called? correct me if im wrong)#like stop hating kairi please. her chemistry with sora and riku is just as interesting.#and shes a great character. just as great as the rest of the destiny trio.#its just that past kh2 they never fulfilled on giving her what she wants #really interesting dynamics they could explore are done mostly offscreen are you fucking joking.#none of what i want for kairi is about her fighting. its about seeing more of the compassionate brave girl i aspired to be when i was young #whoops! became a mini kairi ramble!!#just kidding #theres no mistake here. we as a society should always want the best for kairi

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intelligent-space-gay · 1 year ago

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I get that my loved ones want me to unmask and I understand unmasking is good for my health but everytime I hear someone say ‘they’re a bit weird don’t you think’ with a FAT side eye abt someone I was/am friends with it reminds me that if I acted how I wanted the majority of society would exclude me and Issues cannot handle that possibility. so I will continue to mask and not be ‘weird’

#ugggghhh #one of my worst fears is being excluded. abandoned. dropped.#completely alone #actuallyautistic #ya feel #ugh pt 2

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rifleonthewall · 2 years ago

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CAN I ALSO SAY IT FEELS EVEN WORSE WHEN ITS AN AFAB READER AND NOT JUST FEM READER

#sey speaks #like it feels even worse. like how do u imagine to both include and exclude trans men and women in the worst way #how to do manage* not imagine

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seadem-on · 2 years ago

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#honestly work has been robbing me of my will to live #and i mean it in the worst way possible #i am being humiliated and silenced #excluded from activities #given low impact projects #and they keep telling me i am not able to do more #because i am not good enough #every moment i spend at my job feels like a big waste of my time #and i am staying there just for the money #they still task me with business travels but just because they need a placeholder #i am totally done with them #i would be able to do a much better job if they involved me more #i am exercising violence on myself everyday by going to work #i just want to quit #and go somewhere where they respect my worth #i cant do this anymore

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