#feeling deranged again
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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Sooo NONE of you want to fall deeply unhealthily in love with me rn……?
#:(#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#sorry i watched too much Media™️ again#the insanely (literally) in love trope got to me#you could just like become a little deranged about me#as a treat#no yeah you’re right realistically that would suck#i GUESS we’ll have to settle for you falling healthily and normally in love with me rn#👀#im gay and i like sleeping#scheduling my 2am feeling insane posts for my feeling chill era time of the day#nothing could go wrong
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cant believe i lost all my marbles over vernon’s legs and. completely. forgot. to include. this masterpiece. begging for forgiveness.
but then. see also.
and so i must ask. if the man is not a seat. why am i sat.
hi j i need to tell you that i was just trying to take a nap on my day off but because of YOUR post earlier all i could do was have Thoughts about hansol vernon chwe (specifically….his legs). so i guess my question is how could you do this to me and what do you have to say for yourself
what i have to say for myself is—
i’m really sorry
very truly apologetic
i cannot tell you how much i regret my behaviour
and i would like to take this opportunity to say
that i, from the bottom of my heart,
would never want to cause anyone any distress. especially not over his fine ass legs. and i am sorry.
(and as a bonus. i will allow NOBODY to forget that hansol vernon chwe also. has. ass)
#shut up j#vernon#HOW COULD I FORGET. THE FUCKING. JORTS.#I was abnormal for WEEKS over that combo it was unironically so fucking deadly to me#THOSE BOOTS. THE PLATFORM. FUCKING. JESUS#at this point I was in no svt fandom spaces either so my best friend had to listen to me screeching the entire time#I do genuinely mean weeks btw. we were sending each other the same pictures every few days and BAWLING over them#feeling deranged again#this hit me out of nowhere on my lunch break and the way I yelped ;-;#the freckle on the inside of his knee.#I think about it daily. I’ll never be normal about his freckle. know that. remember it.
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“i guess so” was so insane of buck to say. what do you mean you guess so. there was no reason to respond like that. why not just say yeah. YEAH. YOUR ATTENTION. what was the point of i guess so. he looks soooo relieved to have an answer for his feelings but he’s saying i guess so. girl what. what! you’re guessing? you still don’t know for sure? he’s standing in front of you and you still can’t conjure up an emphatic yes? you’re acting in ways so strange your sister is baffled? you don’t even know why your father figure would approve of your relationship? you don’t know what you’re ready for? you don’t know why you lied to your best friend or why you hurt him? you’re just not certain of anything? “i guess so” WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY KNOW!!!
#feel like we get lost in the sauce on here im sorry. like i need to not even be entertaining the insane interpretations from people w PDDS#(post destiel derangement syndrome) who are just happy to have a canon ship to be into. like theyre soooo right the show is not subtle.#buck guesses that he wanted his attention all along and he’s freaking out over lying to eddie and maddie is baffled by him and tommy didnt#dress up when buck overcompensated again and made a grand gesture and hes nice enough to show up to the wedding and kiss him but buck#doesnt even talk about him and we dont need to see buck talking about him and he’s just kind of weird and snarky and they’re not having#actual conversations about anything important whatsoever and hes not even there for important moments#and hen and karen werent impressed by his answer to them. cool! i see it……#*#911 txt
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hi welcome back to my monster hunter mind palace everyone
#REPOST SORRY. Posting it at 4 am was deranged And half asleep i uploaded a very lq version. Oops#ff7#cloud strife#monster hunter#i dont feel like adding all my prev tags again but something something normal boy cloud strife and his well adjusted boyfriendpal zack fair#who are doing really really normally in this au. trust me. smiles#ff7 monhun au
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└ better off without me | driver & irene [wip]
A vidlet I've been chipping away at. But I don't have enough scenes to edit the chorus how I intended, so I'll probably have to scrap this half 😅 Sharing it here anyways so my work isn't wasted.
#drive#drive 2011#driver x irene#driver#driver irene#ryan gosling#carey mulligan#fancam#fanvid#the brain worms they give me never cease unfortunately#I'm always thinking about Driver coming back to her yrs later...the heart wants what it wants#anyways I'm very happy that school is starting so I can have more time again#hopefully get some art done and other creative projects#it's been too long. I feel itchy and deranged#cw flashing#cw flashing lights
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the silly...
taken from this post from the spiderversemovie account on instagram
#i'm like very deranged over the boy. he is my everything#give me one blurry pixel of him and i will juice the hell out of it until i go into pavitr withdrawal again#i miss my son#the only reason i follow this account is because i am delulu and think i can get a pavitr short film or some shit if i beg hard enough#it is not working. please help me#i feel like the meme where the guy goes “hello. how are you. i am under the water. please help me. here too much raining weahaahah T-T”#pavitr prabhakar#spider man#spider man india#atsv pavitr#atsv#across the spiderverse#agnirambles
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One of the things I like about Pei Xiu is that for all of his being a god of slaughter or whatever his personality temperament and habits are far from that violence. Guy who developed a reputation around one (1) incredibly bad day in his life that happened to follow him into immortality. Meanwhile he’s so soft spoken and calm. I don’t blame that guy for wanting to dip out from heaven the moment the opportunity was presented.
#yams thought#pei xiu#once again I just think he’s neat#and the more I think about him the more deranged I feel
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Does Adeleine sometimes carry/cuddle Elfilin and pet him?
Because if she does, it would be pretty funny if she was able to win Elfilis over because she was able to find Elfilin's best scratching spot! (Probably behind the ears)
Have a sketch of the moment in question as thanks for breaking me out of a week of artist's block with that adorable idea...!!
#Dess Sketch#Adeleine#Elfilin#Fecto Elfilis#'NO! We will not be humiliated by humans! Not AGAIN!'#'Are they not done mocking and torturing us with th... oh'#'...What IS that and why does it feel...pleasant...?'#Elfilis's massive superiority complex in combination with...#...the derangement from X amount of time in awful captivity...#...just makes them such an utter delight. I heart them so!
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guys. guys look at this art @fathercaine made for me right now today right now. GUYS.
#aristotle.txt#THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH I GEN FEEL SO DERANGED OVER THIS ….. MY GOD#selfship stuff#arichako#AAAAAUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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KAROLÍNA MUCHOVÁ [CZE] in her runner's up speech || CHINA OPEN FINAL || 10 06 24
#yeah..................NEXT PLATE: THE VENUS ROSEWATER DISH.#karolina muchova#wta tennis#<3#dont want to think abt this final actually but here we are#it wasnt even really a good match which i think is what sucked most#like even going through the replay for gifs there's not a lot because coco was just completely in control#its fine................karolina muchova ningbo champion 2025 😭#edit: hey not to be deranged *again* but if you look closely in the first gif you can see the blink she does that i was talking about#just so i feel slightly less insane. forcing other people to see it too. anyways
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🐺🦇💖
#the witcher#emiel regis#geralt of rivia#geralt x regis#geregis#art#hi feeling deranged about my senior citizens again hi
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i watch bridgerton solely for eloise and benedict so my reaction to this season was mainly just oh colin and penelope are pining that's nice for them eloise has a new lesbian situationship fork spotted in a kitchen etc let's see what benedict is doing. and then it turns out benedict is hooking up with ELEANOR GUTHRIE BLACKSAILS???
#bridgerton#benedict bridgerton#bridgerton season 3 spoilers#ig#do u know how CRAZYDERANGED this is. seeing eleanor guthrie on screen on my silly lil romance show felt like what i presume it feels like#to lock eyes with your ex in the queue for a cinema screening of marriage story or worse - lalaland#my emotions on seeing her face again unprepared were much like what i imagine people feel when doing hard drugs#WILDEST crossover event they hit the pentagon with this one. they can't give us confirmed lesbian eloise#so they said Oh well we'll throw in the most traumatically deranged and compelling bi character from this show that like a third of these#guys will have seen. and i'm eating it up#all this is doing is reinforcing the fact that delaying benedict's season makes me so So annoyed.#that's theatre trained luke thompson you've got there give him something to work with!! man's got insane drama chops let him loose!!
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2/4
#my art#atsv miguel#miguel o'hara#atsv#miguel o hara fanart#I don’t really like how this one came out but I needed to finish it#sorry it took so long#but there is so much I want to work on :)#like……..some pieces…….for merman Miguel……….:)#I feel deranged#I built ikea furniture today and now my whole body hurt#love y’all :) will post again soon#maybe it’ll be happy art…..maybe it’ll be angst……or many other aus….whos knows#hehehehehe
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