#feeling confident (somewhat)
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people practice w Them <3
#posting this and then shoving my head into a hole Bye#i am! Not Confident!!! in my people scribbling abilities!!#but im trying!!! im fucking trying!!!#i already see improvement#not enough to make me go 'wee the masses are gonna love this'#but enough that i can fathom posting. i can handle it. i can do this#if i dont do it now then i never will!!!!#im still gonna scream into a pillow rip it apart and then eat the stuffing!!!!#ah... the mortification of Existing... of Being Perceived...#it is ever present and inescapable! youd thing id be used to it by now!!!#ill be on my death bed asking people to leave the room so that i can die w/o feeling horribly self conscious and Seen#no seriously every time i think about my potential death and or coma should that happen#i prematurely cringe at the Attention. people potentially crying at my bedside Eugh No Thank You Please Do That Elsewhere#either call me a loser and drop off a single flower or leave me be <3#THIS IS A WELCOME HOME SCRIBBLE POST. IM SORRY I FORGOT#scribble garnish#uh um uh so uh wally and barnaby am i rite fellas-#in my mind they're picking up takeout for dinner <3#yeah no im not tagging it with a fandom tag. i dont want to be perceived As We've Established#im somewhat satisfied with that first wally.... swag <3#& do i have major gender envy for barnaby? yeah#im not used to drawing people but i should be... i need to be...#THERE ARE GUYS I WANNA DRAW! mine and others!!! ngl mostly mine!!!
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I reiterate that if you're going to ask people for donations, you will come across as extremely suspicious if you spam their inbox. People are likely to report and/or block you, thinking you're a bot. If you need donations, I do not recommend going about like this. I really, REALLY do not recommend it.
#blog post#not helpol#i am tired of the spam y'all#literally every single day since I've opened my ask box back up#i have gotten a SHIT TON of random people asking me for donations#which is somewhat silly considering i was literally just running my own donations#so no I'm sorry but i won't be answering asks about donations#i don't think it's ok to that personally; it feels really invasive and is extremely suspicious#because you know who else comes into your inbox asking you for money? bots. bots do that exact thing.#it's extremely difficult to know who to trust especially when gofundme isn't supported in gaza#nor is paypal actually#they ciuld just be using a VPN but i don't know enough about VPN to comment on that confidently#but i feel it's important that people are sceptical honestly#because there are assholes who will scam you and take advantage of your kindness for others#don't buy into a potential scam especially at a time where supporting oneself is often already a challenge
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oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh
so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.
why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.
and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.
so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.
it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.
like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!
and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)
(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)
#man the way its lovely reunion but tjen ajax fucking ATTACKS IT ON SIGHT you couldve gotten married!!!!11!1 fucking unbearable i am in agony#anyway contrary to popular belief we still have no fucking clue whether ajax' link to the narwhal was innate#skirk saying the traces remain on him after meeting it isnt saying tht much. the parts he shares w it couldve well been innate but dormant#instead. also just the fact that he woke it up already shady#then like. monoceros caeli being his from the beginning is completely plausible despite ppl acting like its been confirmed his const change#and like them being halves of the same entity on some lvl would make the narwhal being so weak without him n until ajax found it again#make very much. sense. anyway ajax toxicity jokes aside if the narwhal was just trying to eat him point blank without even a hello#i do get why hed react aggressively. but also bros been telling everyone n their mom hes fighting his narwhal the seconf he finds it again😔#so i feel somewhat confident in assuming he started that 40+ days brawl#anyway if ajax Isnt the celestial narwhal on some level or possibly becoming it as their link grows.#riddle me this atheists. why is his 3rd phase boss theme. the song about His individual murderous rage at us#bc he thought he was outplayed by us. His personal wrath#whys the song for that called the wrath of the celestial narwhal. of the star swallowing whale. Hmmmge. his individual rage.#why does tusk of monoceros caeli speak of him embracing the narwhals innate qualities as embracing mere parts of Himself#funny how tjat goes!! (the OST n boss drop is not 100% serious theory but it does drive me insane. bc why would they phrase it like that)#anyway either theyre 2 halves same original entity or theyre soulmates idgaf . they should fold teyvat in half and eat it for brunch#aaand im going to be consumed by this realization for the next month wish me luck#WHY DID IT NEED HIM THERE SO BADLY???? HUH??????#i mean relatable dont we all. but its sooooooooo inch resting. Curious indeed#rambles#genshin#childe#childeposting#narwhalposting
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so um
been practicing to draw the sneep :3
(he just got back from some errand and now is listening to the adults the other teachers come up with some plan to deal with the latest hogwarts threat)
#the outfit inspo was from this one short where someone did an outfit based on him. it stuck in my head. that's him now#not my first ever snape art but it is the first that i feel somewhat confident might actually look like him#severus snape#pro snape#i cant tell if he looks too old or too young so I've probably done it right XDD
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two more small Friday moments ❤️ | 📸 via Guillermina Cardoso
#daniel ricciardo#and a cool Yuki gearing up moment too#autumn posts#these screenshots are like two pixels big but I adore them!! hehe#v thankful and delighted by all the likes and reblogs thank you everyone 🥺❤️#I also post somewhat-not-so HQ moments I adore too!! some HQ stunning photos and some potato-quality screenshots! just a mix 💞#idk I'm still not confident enough as a newer fan so I hide here in the tags hehe#also I feel like I'm just the messanger I like to share what I can!! 💌#ahhh anyway so excited for Qualifying soon!!!!#but love the vibes in this corner of F1 tumblr I've been in ❤️❤️#idk when I first got into F1 I was on insta and could Not find the Max swooning I was like 'where do I go?????'#this corner of F1 tumblr was the answer ❤️🙂↕️🙏#anyways just yapping before qualifying!! ❤️🫡 excited and nervous!!!!
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Me: Aw, Silver is turning out to be a sweet guy to and with Suvi and I hope we get to see more of hi-
Brennan: He's leaving for the front kudos see you next week 🫰🏻
#heartbreak for plot#that being said#the radical difference that is shown between Suvi who gets so many people's support and appreciation as she comes into her power#and the utter loniless of Ame who's gotten her title before she herself had the confidence to feel ready#and at the end of the day Ame goes to bed with the Fox who's just the part of her soul that expresses outloud what she thinks to herself#whereas Suvi gets to go find her lover/boyfriend-to-be/comrade who knows what she's going through to find solace in his arms#so YEAH SUVI#ofc you think about Ame and how her status provides her with a deep loneliness#specific to people who haven't grown up with a secure support system#and yes it's so good that Suvi gets to see Silver leave for the front because her solid pillars of (somewhat) privilege need to be rocked#and yeah the juicy drama that can come out of maybe the Citadel being in danger ? or having to save Silver at the front ?#idk I'm eager for what comes#twtwatwo#the wizard the witch and the wild one#worlds beyond number#wbn#aabria iyengar#suvi the wizard#sky the wizard#erika ishii#ame the witch#ALSO training under the watchful eye of the Great Bear
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1hqaday
as of right now i think getting to AT LEAST 100 is a good goal, but my current list is a handful of characters short. if you'd like, please send asks of your favorite underrated haikyuu characters who i havent drawn yet and ill try not to miss them!
#i think rn i have around 15 but i could probably add more#but id also like it if i dont miss any that people want#i do have something else haikyuu related id like to work on after i decide to finish with 1hqaday and i feel a bit more confident#now that i feel like im capable of somewhat having discipline lol#boke.txt
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i just realized this is my first finals week.
#man time flies.#you spend all your teenage years having people tell you 'it's gonna wear you down' and they couldnt be more right#and like i never denied it. i knew and was terrified#now the fear and anxiety remains mingled with a sense of normality. every day a new surprise (good or bad) but ur kinda expecting it#there's a lot i learned this semester but there's still a lot to change#next time i wanna be chill for once. like genuinely stop postponing work#it's not even about wanting to be productive or some shit. bro i just wanna be chill and somewhat confident during midterms and finals#also changed my phone settings to diminish the amount of functions it can perform#cus i wanna stop relying on it all day. feeling like someone just took my brain. deep-fried it. then put it back in my skull every time#all my stuff was in there. notes. memories. passwords. uni stuff. art stuff. important dates. etc#now it's on a different device that i have access to when i get home#im gonna be using it for notes and communication basically#starbstalks
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Thank god Sasha was confirmed bisexual, otherwise people would hc her as lesbian solely and exclusively because she's kind of a bitch.
#like it's a stereotype at this point. happy bubbly character HC'd as bi or pan. weird almost alien-esque character HC'd as ace/aro/aroace#skinny depressed sadboi man HC'd as gay. physically stronger taller and more extroverted and confident man HC'd as bisexual#and of course. mean bitch HC'd as a lesbian#i really don't get the ''nice fun and bubbly = bisexual'' stereotype at all#like what does it meannnnn#is it meant to represent how they're more ''open'' to ''more people''??#and lesbians being mean represents ?? idk that they're more ''closed''?#also see how the fanon male gay characters are usually like sad delicate flowers that must be protected and fanon lesbians are#just more ''rough'' somewhat. or at least closed off and cold or distant somehow#''frigid'' is the word that comes to my mind (yikes)#btw I LOVE that Anne and Marcy are characterized as lesbians a lot of the time in this fandom#since they're definitely much more ''soft'' and like cutesy and sweet than big mean Sasha#i love lesbian Anne (extroverted. confident. likes playing matchmaker. super super social. local jock. quite girly when she has the chance)#and I love lesbian Marcy (soft adorable bubbly girl. surprisingly extroverted. VERY hyper. vv energetic. adorable n precious cinnamon roll)#i kinda like the idea of aroace Marcy as someone who clings to her friends so desperately because she sees them drifting away from her#and priorizing other types of relationships (romantic bonds) while she's left alone because THEY were her everything#and she gave her whole heart to them#but they never gave their hearts to her because they were waiting for someone else to give them to. a romantic partner.#something marcy could never be#but I also feel like sometimes the ''weird girl'' thing might give off alien vibes somehow (?) like she just clearly doesn't belong in this#in this world she doesn't belong to this species she doesn't experience what most humans experience#i have mixed feelings on aroace marcy but tbh i don't care enough to like. complain about people who see her that way lol#though I admit I prefer lesbian Marcy a lot more#my posts#btw one hc i really do adore is trans girl Anne. idk if it's ''too stereotypical'' in relation to her like about who she sees in the mirror#i find it so soft and sweet. how she learns to love herself. how she forms a sense of self. trans girl anne my absolute precious#amphibia
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also I understand why the reddit album discussion threads skipped over those, because there'd definitely be a burnout point in attempting to analyse children's music, but it would've been really fun to see the opinions on a few of them
#I got excited for hello mrs wheelyke coming up when it reached the das albums and then remembered it's on why so it wouldn't be discussed :(#so I'll just reiterate my point from an older post here that the lyric structure is SO compelling to me#the second parts of the verses changing the context with additional words is always a cool idea#and I like that there's a somewhat melancholy air when they disappear again.#I always think of those parts as what the narrator really Wants to say to mrs wheelyke but for whatever reason never has the confidence to.#so it becomes sort of sad and incomplete when only their shyer thoughts remain#I think I said before that it feels like uncovering a hidden message in invisible ink#anyway yeah this is a children's song
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It's really funny to me how Lysandre, despite being my personal WORST villain from the games until Rose came along, has somehow ended up with one of the best villain arc chapters in Masters (imo) and generally feels better handled as a character overall there, the best villain team portrayal in the manga, and the best villain arc in the anime.
This guy be winning everywhere else at least.
#lysandre#team flare#pokemon xy#pokemon xy&z#pokemon masters#pokemas#pokeani#anipoke#i liked rose before that stupid forced conflict#like there were so many better ways the writers could have introduced eternatus#like have it break confinement on its own#or have leon mainly lose to it because he's undergoing a crisis of confidence after losing to the player#but no#instead we got “i'm salty you're making me wait this extra day so I unleashed it anyway. this is your fault btw.”#my issue with Lys was mostly how he's played off despite his extremely troubling rhetoric#and his wasted potential#masters fixes him somewhat with the latter and it does feel like he's more open to sycamore and the kids#he's still dangerous and brutal to those who he sees as unworthy to live in his new world#but his interactions with sycamore and the kids are more positive than they were in xy
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Last weekend
#me#selfie#feeling better#maybe not#its been an odd few weeks#but I'm back to feeling somewhat confident
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Oohhooo I am eating up the Ocean!!! Why do I feel John knows a little too much about the 12th member of the pack? He has to make sure she’s scared… can’t spank her (yet)… what ever will he do?
Thank you! Wait and see ✨
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i love being around theater people it's like i'm suddenly breathing clean air again jesus christ
#not to be dramatic or anything. but people are nice to meee 🥰#and it’s a space where i actually feel somewhat confident in my talent and such which is nice#went out to dinner with people again tonight and it was really nice 🥰🥰 and i got GARLIC BREAD. from the good garlic bread spot#.txt
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As a homesteader, I can say 100% Halsin needs some serious help. He is all about "nature has a balance, where all are cared for", meanwhile here I am, having to pull two drakes off one lady duck because, by nature, both will attempt to breed her as roughly as possible, even if it ends up injuring/killing her.
Also, by nature, my chickens have a strict pecking order. A good few get bullied as they are the lowest in the order. I attempted to introduce some young ladies to my less than a foot tall Sebright Rooster, and he was brutal with the bullying. I had to pull them out, he was so bad.
Nature is not a beautiful, idealistic lifestyle. It is survival of the fittest.
Perhaps Halsin needs to seriously rethink civilizations' role in nature. That we, as people of all races, differ from animals in that we can choose to rise above our basic desires and urges if we so choose. Chaotic change is normal among the wilds, but we can actually bring good change, despite however much evil is in the world.
That is our role.
#halsin#the more and more i reread dialogue with him the more he shouldnt have been an archmage#heres the thing- EA Halsin felt like an ArchMage#even when he talked about his previous failings he still sounded somewhat confident in what he had to do#i dont know if they changed this but in EA it was implied he killed isobel or however you spell her name#sad elf dilf's daughter that loves nightsong that person#it was implied he killed her out of self defense and had awful for it#and that he took more responsibily for the shdow curse because her death was the last straw that broke her father#it wasnt just thaniel that tied him to breaking the curse#it was wanting to put a grieving father out of his misery#misery halsin had directly caused#I LOVED THAT#btw HE WAS ALREADY AN ARCHDRUID THEN#or it was implied#he represented the druids at least at the time#i hate to say it but everyday I worry that we ruined the character by our demands#this doesnt feel like the same guy from EA#also...hes against the city's behavior yet if you slaughtered the grove he forgives you no problem#'you reacted accordinf to your nature' yes halsin#as are all the people tryibg to survive in the city#also...350 ISNT OLD FOR A WOOD ELF#hes legit maybe just hitting his 30s#elves are considered CHILDREN until 100 years old#i am forever haunted by the quote the devs once said#'we always saw him as an old wizened archdruid'#what did we do to our bear man?#what did we DO?!#bg3 spoilers#baldurs gate 3 spoilers#bg3
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woof, tomorrow morning is going to be stressful...
I'm presenting my thesis (not quite defending it because the department handles things weird, but still giving a 15 minute talk), which would be bad enough on its own, but I need to also hunt down my PI about some paperwork shit beforehand that's super last minute because I missed an email in the finals shuffle, so I'm worried he'll be upset about it and aaaaaa
#chattering#I feel. somewhat confident in my talk and written thesis though? so that's good?#still an anxiety-inducing situation though#at least some of that might be because giving my talk doesn't leave me a ton of room to actually breathe and I've been practicing tonight#so I'm still a little out of breath at the moment#however. I reiterate:#aaaaaaaa#might record my last practice run and post it here#if I can figure out a way to keep my face and legal name and school info out the video#because I've done a voice reveal on here before but I'm still wary of showing my face & I do NOT want to reveal my school#operative word being *might.* I think my work is neat and I wanna talk about it but I'm also very hesitant to talk about it on here#for many reasons
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