#feeling broken

[mischiefmanifold]

a lot of people like to, when someone describes themself as "broken", vehemently insist that "you're not broken!!"

so shout out to those of us who ARE broken

those who survived horrific things they never should have had to endure

those whose bodies are permanently fucked up, whether from abuse or physical disability

those who have such severe mental illnesses that people don't treat us as human

it is not a bad thing to be broken

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive childhoods can make us feel like we’re fundamentally unlovable, but also, like there’s maybe a chance that we will become lovable, but only if we do x and y and fix x and z in ourselves. We’re not allowed even to ask for any attention or acceptance until we do these exact steps, because if we do, we’ll just get reprimanded for not doing those steps.

And it can be really idiotic things, like, you have to look a certain way, you have to respond a certain way, you aren’t allowed to have any trauma or any symptoms or emotional wounds, you’re not supposed to be emotional or get upset, ever, or be justly angry when the situation calls for it, and you have to do everything perfectly on your first time, never get tired of being devalued, ignored, neglected and excluded, never think of yourself first, be exceptional at sensing everyone’s needs and fixing them, never have any needs of your own, never have opinions that clashes with someone else’s, each and every one of these does not describe a human being. None of this is a pre-requirement for being loved. If you can’t be any of this, that means you’re normal, you’re human, you’re incredibly lovable.

It goes beyond childhood as well; once you attempt to enter adulthood, you’ll easily get informed that you’ll be looked down upon (that translates to ‘unlovable’ to us) if you are not independent, extremely skilled, having a job, always fun to be around, in a relationship, into the same things everyone else is into, social, looking a certain way - you’ll get told that without these qualities, you’re low value, to be ignored and cast aside. It can make you feel like you’re not even allowed to be proud of yourself, you’re not allowed to even like yourself, for who you are! If feels again, like you’re fundamentally a failure and that everyone else must be right not to like you or want to be around you, because you’re ‘no good’ and ‘only a burden’.

But this also isn’t true. None of these qualities are a pre-requirement for being loved either. And I know this, because I know people who have none of these qualities, and they are loved. All of these things are based on a construct, and we do not love others based on how well they can fit to a construct, or based on how well they can obey us.

We love others because it’s in our nature as a social species. We like spending time around humans who are warm, who have kindness in their hearts, who pose no threat to us; who are capable of making us think, or making us laugh sometimes. We bond based on experiences together, situations we worked thru together, helping each other. We like sharing our happiness and grief alike, we like knowing there’s someone we can rely on when we’re lost, confused, or alone in our troubles. We also like seeing others being free to be who they are, we like spontaneous joy and passionate ideas, we like to be engaged and be filled with hope, or even just enjoy moments that would pass unnoticed if someone else didn’t point them out. We like knowing someone else’s opinions and perspectives, we like feeling like we’re alike. We like hearing stories. We like witnessing things together.

And none of this demands for any of the participants to have a certain skill, job, appearance, behaviour. Not for any of this do you need to be subservient, convenient, or perfect. You’ve been lied to. You’ve been good as you are, capable of bonding and being loved the whole time. There was nothing that needed to be fixed.

People are loved when they’re struggling. People are being loved when they’re sick, addicted, impoverished, demanding, imposing. People are even loved when they’re manipulative and abusive. So you are not unlovable. Convenience is not the key of love. You do not have to maximize how convenient you are to everyone in order to be loved. You are lacking in nothing.

[abusedunicornia]

36F ENM bi hypersexual nerdy life posting

I know my soulmates and they know me but sometimes it takes us time to see

minors DNI

[tak3itsl0wly]

honestly, i just want to disappear..

[tatis9]

[beautifulbookishdisaster]

I can feel him watching me like I'm something broken that he doesn't know how to fix. It's been a long time since anyone has looked at me like that, so long I've forgotten how it used to make me feel. Damaged. Irreparable. Weak.

Brynne Weaver, Leather & Lark (The Ruinous Love Trilogy #2)

[originalitysquared]

Sitting around today like

Maybe I AM a mean person.

Maybe I AM deeply annoying.

Maybe this is all for a reason.

[phoenix-positivity]

ms paint vent art

[alterinitiveego]

Am I more scared of being alone or of having friends?

[gothic4under4lord]

Sad thing is knowing that the person you like, is in a relationship and that friend knows you like them. But goes around calling you a nickname “love” and flirts with you. And when him and his girlfriend break up, he comes to you for comfort. Then with in the first week of him dealing with this break up, you two are on FaceTime and he flirts with you but uses the excuse of being numb for the flirting.

After a month he still flirts with you. When the two of you are on FaceTime again, you tell him you like him a lot and he should deny your feelings where you can move on but all he say is “it complicated cause he likes you back but it’s complicated”

Yeah… that’s me right now…. Shit sucks

[morning-day-yew]

[hellenhighwater]

Here's to all the burnouts.

I'm not sure what to name this one but it is working well! Another oil lamp. It's a figure about twice the size of the mythology series figures.

[unlovablereject]

I tried to talk, to explain.

You say

"Okay."

...

I'm so fucking crushed and heart broken.

[uncanny-tranny]

Amatonormativity has destroyed so many people's understanding and acceptance of themselves, and it's heartbreaking.

Yes, it is normal to be in your 20s, 30s, or older and not have lost your virginity, had a first kiss, or a partner. It is normal to say that you aren't ready for those things, too! It is normal if your life doesn't follow the "college graduate -> engagement -> buying a home -> 2.5 kids and a dog" trajectory that so many people have idealized.

So many people associate maturity with losing your virginity, or having a first kiss, or a serious relationship, and I think that's a dangerous association. Maturity isn't gained through those things, and you don't have to have those experiences to be considered "mature" or "grown." It is not a bad thing to go at your pace. Nobody else can live your life but you. If you end up having those experiences, that's great! But it should be done because you want to experience them, not because you feel "broken" and "immature" without them.

[mirajanefairytailmage]

Feeling Broken (06/25/2023)

Today, my senior dog is a little more responsive. She can only stand a few minutes before stumbling to the ground. Her head is tilting to the right. I FINALLY got her to eat a little of something since Wednesday night. When she is up, she goes for the water bowl. Once she lays down. She's down for hours at a time. Her heart beat slows down. Her breathing becomes deep, with 30 seconds in between each breathe. At this point, I'm either hoping for a miracle that she pulls through whatever this is, or that she will pass peacefully in her sleep. 😭 I wish I could do more for her, but being broke, my options and abilities are limited. 💔 All I can do is keep her comfortable and make sure she knows just how much she is loved.

[strawmaguchi]

She’s just like me…. SHE’S JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!