#feel like i overworked this anyway
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Donnie from Adagio in Green, with the Krang growth on full display. He's having The Worst possible time. Poor kid.
This is probably somewhere around chapters 14 or 15? The infection has almost completely covered his shell. And it's a noisy, insistent bunch that won't let poor Donnie rest.
Don't worry, he'll be fine. Eventually. I think...
#donnie's got more bandages i think but i didn't feel like drawing them all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#feel like i overworked this anyway#i know it looks like i'm pumping out art but i don't like anything i'm doing and i'm just chugging along out of frustration#adagio in green fic#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#tw body horror#krang#krangified#sort of#sage draws turtles
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Btw just want to be clear that Time and Time Again is set to, and will if I don't pause, conclude in May 2025!
Webtoon didn't want to renew or give me any extra episodes so I'm trying to work with what I have. I'm sorry it's ending sooner than I'd like, it's been difficult to come to terms with and challenging to condense my plans.
You deserve a solid conclusion, and I've spent months writing to try and reach that. If there's anything you'd really like to see before it ends, do let me know in case I can (and want to) fit it in.
I'd rather not work with them again, and I hope I won't have to! But coming off of years being overworked and underpaid does not make that easy, to say the least...
I'm doing my best, and I hope you like what I have coming up.
#years of being overworked. underpaid. and literally manipulated and gaslit lmfao#it does not feel good to beg to be treated equally. and then told to be satisfied with less than that#it has been repeatedly demoralizing and insulting#and im not doing it again#i would rather nanny again (most exhausting job ive ever had) than work with them again#but. i would rather not!#I'd rather continue to make comics#but to do it full time i would need like 500 patrons on the $5 tier minimum...#which is SO MANY PEOPLE and incomprehensible to me#ive already proven to myself i can live on 25k a year but obviously its tight (i live in socal)#this. is not what this post is about#it's so hard for me not to complain about them#i feel bad for my current patrons i only share stuff on discord as of right now#well i do the merch packages but like#it's mostly just my discord#just dont have the time or energy to manage my patreon#cause idk if yall know but patreons site is TERRIBLE from the creator side???#it takes like 5 minutes to upload a single post it's ridiculous#so i cant manage it rn. I've thought about hiring someone to help me with it but i cant afford any help#anyways ultimately this is informing people its gonna end#and is turning into a vent around all of the stress surrounding that#like i literally had to take a couple months to just be sad its gonna end and come to terms with that#its hard! it's hard feeling so tossed aside and having your stories controlled even in part by someone else#anyways yeah#i havent finished writing the last arc yet#so theres space for me to fit stuff if theres something people really want#so id like to get in what i could if i can!#text post#sorry i always turn any thoughts about comics into vents about webtoon#theyre so ass man..... it's fine. im gone in may...
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which jjk man could fix you 🎤🎤 realistically .
#see i’d like to think that gojo could fix me#but . it would take years and years and years to even get into a relationship with him…#and suguru could probably fix me but he would make me codependent in the process 💀 and he would enjoy it .#i THINK .#….. higu or yuji . could fix me#higuruma is so . kind. and so stable#he overworks himself which would be bad but. i feel like i’d help him unwind and he would fix my brain entirely in return#and yuji is just suchhh a sweet soul#a golden retriever bf …..#… i was also thinking nanami kinda but he would lecture me very gently and make me cry so 💀#ANYWAY IM JUST CURIOUS i would love to hear what everyone else thinks ….. !!!!!!#ari noises ✩
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(belated) day 4: cleansing
#cult of the lamb#cult of the goat#cotl lamb#cotl goat#the further we go in the blurrier and hazier they seem to get#i don’t feel like overworking it anyway but i can only hope it looks interesting in some way
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2024 reads / storygraph
Outdrawn
f/f contemporary romance
two cartoonist who’ve been rivals since uni, and now have competing webcomics online, have to work together on the relaunch of a cult classic at the comic press they both work at
they both struggle with art-related physical and mental health issues, and complicated families
#outdrawn#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#sapphic books#I thought this was decent! I liked the concept (even if I got distracted by some art related things…)#and the dynamic between the characters was good. I enjoyed their relationship development broadly speaking#and the emphasis on communication; though it was a quick flip into being together all of a sudden.#The sketchbook doodle flirting was cute. Some interesting exploration of their complicated family situations too.#There’s a lot of exploration of burnout and carpal tunnel and the dangers of artists overworking which I think are important conversations#and are done with some nuance. But it’s pretty much all discussed in the context of the personal pressure they put on themselves#rather than the industry corporate greed and artificial competition created by the comic platform - which are significant in this story!#It felt odd that that connection wasn’t really ever made?#I know that this is a romance and nitpicking the background plot is beside the point and also that I am not a big romance reader#but the premise that the comic hosting site archives everything; wipes the leaderboard; and out of nowhere has a comic competition for#new weekly chapters…I’m sorry but the art world would riot. Even if people enter because they’re desperate for the cash they’d be pissed#People live off the income from their webcomics! if they were erased (temporarily) with no notice…..there would be crimes committed istg#I simply don’t believe that it would be doable to create a new weekly webcomic with no notice while you also have a full-time comic job#(especially as the only stylistic choices mentioned are full-colour) - not to mention what happened to their 8-years-running webcomics#that were archived? they don’t think about them at all after the beginning? surely they’d care about that?#And then with their new comics they make for this competition (after work I guess) we get vague snippets about them but barely anything#- if they’re consuming that much of your time I would expect to feel like they’re thinking about them all the time#rather than the vaguest discussion about genre and cast numbers only.#I guess I just think the whole comic site stunt felt unnecessary for the plot anyway -#it would have worked exactly the same if they were just competing on the normal leaderboard with their normal comics???#anyway - I’m not judging TOO hard about all that because again I know it’s not the point and maybe the industry is like that in some place#Unfortunately it was distracting enough to affect my feelings on the book tho lol.#Lastly: the audiobook………oof. The narrators talk at different speeds; for one.#And Sage’s VA does this deeply weird raspy-anime-teen-boy voice for Noah which is such an odd choice#and doesn’t match her character at all.#unforch my library only had the audiobook (what I usually prefer) so I just had to sort of….translate the narration into a normal voice lol#anyway the romance is good tho
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Maybe is my very particular interpretation but for me gods are very much a Concept more than people so the whole gale/mystra thing is very much a wizard falling in love with magic itself as an artist falls in love with art itself. And oh man no matter how much you love it that cant never love you back. Not like a real person. But you feel something is missing and you dont know what it is (it is real human connection and people who actually love you) so you are like. "Ah i see i could become Better At What I Am I just need to Improve." And thats your thing ! and what people said you were good at since you were a kid thats where your value is isnt it!!
#mystra telling gale to kill himself its a metaphor of thinking you have to crunch and overwork in this essay i will#bg3#bg3 spoilers#anyways i find gale/mystra fucked up thing fascinating narrativelly in like#oh This Really Would Fuck Up Someone Big Time Wouldnt It#in a loving gale way in a “im studying what happened here” way not in a shipping way u know#like this story its so good.#so many things that in the first game were like xd gale really loves u for doing the bare minimun haha lmao lol#are like. oh boy he didnt even have the bare minimun#sometimes in his romance he says such sad stuff like “its nice to feel wanted :>”#bestie thats the bare minimun in a relationship what did mystra did to you#a friend who just started act 1 told me “gale has very low standars for a guy who fucked a god.you would think he expected more from people#makes u think.....#he is like some colleages tried to contact/visit me at first#like colleages not friends gale?? did you had some friend apart fron tara before the game????#gale of waterdeep#mystra
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i just feel like the world is stacked against me at the moment not like in a major way, but just like in stupid little ways
#overworked at work as everything collides at once#my period starts#the one book i picked out at the library was actually reserved and shouldn't have been on the shelf#the final ingredient i needed for my meals for the week (that i bought from the same shop last week)#is no longer stocked in any supermarket in my city#it just feels like knock after knock when i'm just not feeling that great at the moment anyway#like it's nothing big and bad#but it's just all so annoying
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Care to Join Us For Some Tea?
(Emmrich Volkarin & Sascha Ingellvar)
Rook is a very strange creature, always keeping to the shadows of the Lighthouse like a timid ghost. It isn't until Emmrich recalls a strange encounter, three decades past and in the depths of the Grand Necropolis, that he begins to understand what made Sascha Ingellvar into the man he is today.
Read Here!
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#original content#emmrich volkarin#da rook#sascha ingellvar#ao3#this was a fun (painful) one to write#I've mentioned it before but I work in a school and that involves working with all kinds of kids AND adults#And the process of “child has tendency to run- one adult talks to other adult- one tries to deal with the child- one documents behavior”#is one that I know pretty well at this point#by the time of datv Sascha is 36 years old and has Developed past where he was at 6 but he's still... the child they found in the tombs#He's always going to be strange and echoy and socially awkward and unsure who it's Safe to be around#he just really really really needs a place to Belong and I feel like he'll be able to find that in the Lighthouse amongst the Veilguard#sorry if I bring up anyone's worst memories of being in Special Ed and not treated well by the overworked staff in there#And I'm really happy with how I ended up writing Emmrich and his POV#According to QoAM I did really well#I feel like people know Emmrich very well as he is in-game so I wanted to explore him in his younger days before he's as Established#not just as a Mourn Watch but as someone who is more willing to stand up for what's right and- especially- someone who loves children#I think of all the people I knew in their teens who Hated kids who have softened more and more as they got older and more mature#I certainly don't think Emmrich ever hated children (he's always been Soft) but I feel like it's more of a “how patient am I?”#Like I look at Manfred and how he also Echoes and Mimics and I'm like. Yeah. That's like my little special ed kids.#Emmrich you would be PERFECT in the life skills room I wanna go run Coffee Cart with you that would be great#anyway happy birthday Sascha!! So sorry that your childhood was so fucking awful and you spent your sixth birthday like This#Tumblr not linking to ao3 makes me want to kill this site#Birthday Fic
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uh, ladies? i don't feel ready to turn 27
#personal#i currently have 68 euros on my bank account bc two of my pays have been late again#upside: my rent is payed! downside: i am not sure i can currently afford breakfast ajkfdshg#and i got humiliated in an auto body shop and spilled stale mozzarella water all over myself#and got yelled at by random guys to not park literally right in front of my building#and work has been shit#and uni as well#and this is just not how i imagined my 27th birthday lol#to be fair it is tomorrow not today#but still#anyway i wanted to scream into the void#i am overworked and tired and i have been ill for over a week#and i feel like everyone is mad at me and i am continuing to make Wrong choices aaskjfdsg#i hope it is Just A Feeling#and not actual reality#adsjfhghjgfdh#anygay i have emerged to be Sad Emo uwu and now i return to my regularly scheduled suffering#pls someone tell me it's normal for your late 20's to feel like this askfjdshjgdfhjd and i can still have nice things
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my absolutely biggest online pet peeve is US centric people projecting their rich sorority girl bully stereotype of nurses onto everyone else, as if nurses aren't working class and mostly immigrants of colour everywhere else. and when did it become cool to hate on underpaid and exploited workers anyway
#*when i say ''everywhere else'' i mean sweden specifically. idk what it's like in other countries#anyway it bothers me to no end#most of my coworkers are 1. very nice and 2. quite poor and part of many oppressed classes and groups#a vast majority of them are either single mothers who have immigrated from the middle east or africa#or young afghan men who came here in 2015-2021 during the refugee wave#on many shifts ive been 1. the only nurse born in sweden and 2. the only female nurse#your experiences are not universal#the way the internet talks about nurses bothers me to no end! not every nurse makes insane dollars a year and is blonde and married to a cop#i googled this once and american nurses on average make 2x or even nearly 4x of what i made at my previous job. depending on state#enough ppl in the ward i worked at were muslim that we celebrated ramadan all of us basically. not exactly but it did affect the schedule#many of my coworkers could barely afford clothes for all their kids and we all worked crazy hours and kept getting overworked and burnt out#i hate the american stereotype!!!!!#''nurses are mostly high school bullies who like being in control of and hurting vulnerable people'' no! that isn’t true! it just isn’t!#lots of bad healthcare isnt bc the workers are sadists.its bc the resources from the government are lacking and the workers are understaffed#like#we know when the care isn’t good. and it feels Bad actually to not be able to do it better#lots ppl change professions bc of the ethical stress. it's not fun. and sometimes it's obvious a patient feels like theyre not getting heard#but you don't have the time to sit down and listen or whatever else. there isn't time or resources for it#and a lot of crucial vital conditions/symptoms sometimes get missed bc of lack of resources and competence quitting#it's not bc nurses are evil and want ppl to die and suffer. i feel like this has got to be some kind of propaganda circulating#it's such a bizarre stereotype when you think about it. and it's just not true to reality. idk#anyway what do i know. maybe they are actually evil in america. it's possible. a lot of bizarre things are true in america#i just hate the narrative online#pickapost
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FADING COLORS
TL;DR I have both art block and creative burnout, but I'll deal with it.
Even if my wrists feel better, I find myself with just a thread of motivation to draw and less paint. This art technically is from... May this year? Yeah. I felt the art block nibbling at me and ignored it until burnout reunited with it in recent weeks :')
Still, like I reflected before about it: I don't feel as bad as I thought about it... I just, don't need to think deeply about it and it will pass. Plus I was supposed to take a break during June but here we are *rolls eyes beyond the ceiling*.
Tho, I guess I'll take the "tourist" route and check all the cool stuff peeps around me were cooking while I was with my head deep on collab-events and personal projects! Programming reblogs and replying to pending conversations.
I'll get better! But I need to remind myself I'm flesh and bone that needs to rest!!!
#windy squawks#ALWAYS OVERWORKING MYSELF I KNOW I KNOW#im the worst orz#anyways this will too a good cooldown from art in general because uh#i started to feel like i lost quite the traction on my recent art?#i mean IM AWARE IM A NICHE ARTIST but it doesnt usually flops in this way mmm#but whatever ill give myself extra snacks#and hope winter here ends soon I WANT AGAIN A BIT OF SPRING
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i’m gunna make an aroacemau comic. With angst and self loathing
and acceptance dont worry
(but first i gotta figure out what aphmau looks like in my redesign)
#i feel like making my girl sad#i have so many mcd art projects rn#like that laurence one#and the romeave fam#and the shadow knights#uuuugh#do i overwork myself?#aroacemau#aroace artist#aphmau#minecraft diaries#mcd#minecraft roleplay#aphmau mcd#aphmau minecraft diaries#anyways#aphblr
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ok so my current life goals are : get top surgery, mutually fall in love with someone who has a good job and lives in toronto, move to toronto, go to film school and do film
#personal#these are like DISTANT distant goals. however i cant shake the feeling that i should go into film#like man idk...it seems so interesting to me#i love art of course. and im not gonna stop drawing or painting or whatever#but after seeing so many young artists dying from stress and overwork its just like man. do i want to grind in this specific way forever?#IDK IDK. im just throwing this here so i can look back in 40 billion years and say either wow i was wrong or wow we did that 👍#anyways. if step two applies to you let me know (kidding) (unless?)
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haven't rly commented on this but clearly we can complain all we want about the tour being so fucking early but guess who's still gonna show up anyway and give them all the money they want. us, the fucking fans.
#not saying it's OUR fault. it is not#but we'll do all of this complaining and people WILL show up anyways and prove to the company their choices are good#and the cycle will repeat#like even if u say 'im not gonna go to the concert bc theyre overworked. im not contributing to this.' someone else will just go instead#you'd have to make a massive movement snd somehow convince everyone to not go and that's just not going to happen#i dont even feel comfortable going tbh. what do u mean january.#apple lady words
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My friends are so nice to me??? I love them???
#another fulfilling day where im tired overworked overwhelmed but also full of love for my friends#i love my friends#one of my friends swung by to visit me while ive been recovering hehe#it was so so nice#and one of my friends is giving me more song and media recs hehe which is like. yes. yes. yes.#i am going to fall in love with you /hyp#a little overwhelmed and smitten rn#having a pea brain moment but today has been crazy and i have been catching up with a lot of stuff and meeting deadline#life has been a bit hard in regards to that but im sure life will be fine life will turn out ok#when i get a little better i need to bake so much for my friends#but also trying to not overstep and stretch myself out too thin which i might have today#I don't care though i feel so. tired but happy rn.#im obsessed w my friends it's not even an overstatement at this point hehe but oh well#this semester or next maybe I'll try something new but for now i just want to go with the flow and have fun for now#im having fun im happy i don't want to worry about stuff and i don't want to be scared which is why! im not gonna catch feelings for anyone#im gonna love my friends a lot and love myself a lot and it will be enough to carry me through!#it gets really hard sometimes when a lot of your friends are dating and a lot of ppl around you are dating but im not gonna get fomoed#went out and saw my friend and her partner walking hand in hand and ykw im happy for her#i do get a little envious abt. having like. a safety person. and stuff like that. but. hng. i have multiple ppl i can rely on#it's just currently they're all not around that's all#and sometimes i just really crave a hug but those times will pass!!!#anyway i miss my friends i love them but im doing much better than last year now#i had a moment of wondering why i tolerated. some stuff from past partners and i realized it was probably bc of the friends i had around#sometimes when your friends treat u well it. idk. shines some light on your perspective#im really grateful for my friends bc of that#they make sure i dont become worse lol#kk rambles
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i guess. i just have to make it to next week. cries.
#i requested thursday off because that’s hello kitty day#and since i’m off next weekend i requested friday off too. so i can just have a few days to chill and play my game and not worry about work#for some reason he also scheduled me to be off on wednesday. part of me wants to come in anyways#cause i could use the money…#but part of me also would really like the extra day off. especially with how bad my health (both physical and mental) has been#and how overworked ive been feeling#but i also get my hair done next friday which im excited about. i really hope it turns out how i want it to :’)#snow.txt
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