#feel free to ignore this incoherent rambling

[yandere-daydreams]

hi. so this is kind of a random musing that doesn't have anything to do with what youve been talking abt on your blog recently so feel free to ignore it, but i love how you write yandere nanami and between going live and an ask one of my followers sent me i kinda had a revelation. i wanted to see if you had any thoughts.

i think that before meeting reader nanami would be a virgin.

even if were talking non yandere nanami, i don't think he's ever had sex. i can't see nanami being the kind of person who likes hookup culture - he doesn't want to be used by someone - but i don't think he'd be able to justify getting in a romantic relationship because his job is so dangerous. he wouldn't want to die one day and leave his partner widowed. so he stays celibate, he's come to terms with the fact that he'll die untouched.

(he just jerks himself to freaky ass porn to get his fix (maybe even a camgirl hehe))

at least, until he meets a woman who makes all of his morality fly out the window.

suddenly, his sex drive is higher then ever. he's cumming into his fist every night to the thought of this special girl doing abhorrent things on his dick. he loves her. he's never loved someone this much in his entire life so she has to be the one to deflower him. that's probably one of the most romantic things someone can do in his mind, so it has to be her. she's his soulmate

all of this to say, i think nanami would kidnap reader and force her to teach him how to have sex through some fucked up means. it just tickles something in me imagining how stupidly giddy he'd be, so unabashedly pathetic as he undresses a woman for the first time.

like, him holding her hand with his forehead pressed to hers, cumming inside of her, jumping through as many mental hurdles necessary to justify what he's doing (or maybe just not caring bc she'll come around eventually, right?)

i love your work. thank you for listening to my ramble. <3

tw - non/con, kidnapping, manipulation, delusional behavior.

no no no i agree entirely,,, no amount of propaganda can convince me that any of the jjk men every had their dicks touched before the age of twenty-five at least, with nanami probably being the worst offender among them. i mean, he doesn't really connect with people outside of the sorcerer world, not really, not in a meaningful enough way to lead to that kind of intimacy, and as for other sorcerers... no. just no. he'd rather die a virgin than resort to anything as desperate as that, which is quickly becoming a very tangible reality.

and then he meets you (or, alternative, stumbled onto your stream at some ungodly hour, his cock already in his hand and his pleasure-deprived brain frantic for something soft and pliable to latch onto), and he decides that it might not be so bad to consider alternatives after all.

i can see it going one of two ways: if he has any reason at all to believe that you're also a virgin, whether or not it's true, he'll immediately lose all patience. if that wasn't the case, he might be able to take his time, stalk you for a few months before consummating your blooming relationship, but now he's on a clock, now he has to get to you before someone else does. he still tries to make it romantic, lights candles and brings you flowers and all that, but he's rushed, panicked, babbling incoherently about 'being each other's firsts' as he haphazardly undresses you. it's a miracle he remembers to do any prep at all - he's just in such a rush to be inside of you, to be the first and only person to every know what it's like to fully, genuinely actually be with you. if there's any pain, he'll comfort you later, make up for two and a half decades of abstinence with his tongue and hands, but only after he's already ruined you for anyone else.

if you're not a virgin and he can't make himself believe you are, then he'd probably go a little less absolutely feral (at first, i mean). don't get me wrong, you're still getting kidnapped asap, but rather than a beacon of innocence and purity that he can taint, you're the corruption forcing him to fall from grace, and he's going to want you to act like it. he's got a list of virginities he needs to to take (his first handjob, his fist blowjob, the first hickey, etc.), and between every milestone, he's going to want you to teach him how to pleasure you, even if you're still insisting you'd rather not let him touch you at all. he wants your full participation - it doesn't matter how many times he makes you cum on his tongue while you're sobbing into your pillow and trying to block him out, he's not going to stop until he hears your sweet voice encouraging with the little 'right there, kento's and 'good boy's he's made you rehearse. by the time you actually take his virginity, he's going to have made you feel dirtier than you ever could've made him feel, but so long as he's the one you're feeling dirty with, nanami doesn't really mind. not when he's buried inside you, his chest pressed into yours and he's too lost in his own pleasure to think the tears staining your cheeks are anything but beautiful.

anyway loser virgin nanami you will live forever. perhaps loser virgin gojo will pay for his crimes next.

[gojo-mochi]

A/N: yeah I wrote half of this when I went to see a live show… (shoutout to gho/st file/s!) Non edited/proofread bleh it just my rambling anyways

MDNI

Getting fucked dumb by a bigger man. In mass, size, and length. By the time their cock enters you, you’re already halfway to being a drooling and mindless mess. He needed to prep you thoroughly before you could take his cock, he didn’t want to hurt you after all.

“Oh? What’s that? You think you can take me with no prep?”

“Oh, little one, maybe we can try that tomorrow. For now, just lay back against me and let me stretch you out on my fingers.”

 “Yes, I know they’re so big, aren’t they? Bet you never reached this deep in your own before.” “Bet those boys before couldn’t even dream of reaching this deep with their dicks, huh? I’ll show you what a real man is made of soon enough, darling.. “

You find purchase by holding on to his biceps while he fingers you, your arousal coating his palm while he smacks it against your puffy clit. The wet squelching noises made you try to cover your face and ears in embarrassment. But he couldn’t have that, oh no, no…

His free hand will pinch in your cheeks if you try to hide any of those sweet noises he loves. Scolding you gently for being embarrassed as his fingers plunged in faster and faster. If you still feel like fighting and escaping his hold on you. He’ll take it a step deeper, shoving two fingers in your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. He doesn’t care if you drool or even try to bite down on him. As long as you keep on making those cute and sweet whimpers and moans unhindered.

You scratch and claw at his biceps as he flexes under your hands. Your pitiful attempts at damaging him barely did a dent to his muscular form. His mouth next to your ear, hot, heavy, laced with desire and need. Your pussy pulling in his fingers, sucking them in so sloppily.

“Fuck, maybe this slutty pussy can take me already. Look at how she’s crying out for me.”

Once he pulls one, two, maybe even three orgasms from just his fingers, your body quivering and twitching, only held down by his big encompassing arm around your waist. Depending on the mood he would pull out a small vibrartor bullet pressing down on your abused swollen clit, ignoring your cries to stop and attempts to push his hands away. His free hand trapping your wrists together, forcing your thighs to go over his own thick ones, spreading you out fully for his assault. Letting the vibrartor roam around your lips, just teasing you for a bit, he loves watching you twitch and struggle, licking the tears from your cheeks as he prods the bullet against your clit until the bed sheet underneath gets completely soaked. 

If he doesn't care for toys or is feeling a bit hungry that day, he would kneel down on the bed but keep his back straight, his height still towering over you even in this position as he flips you upside down. Throwing your legs over his broad shoulders as he delves down for his feast. HIs fat tongue lapping at your juices like a starved dog, his arm squeezing at your soft chest and waist, sometimes yanking you back up to crash into his mouth when you slip a bit. Sucking and rolling his tongue and mouth over your sensitive little nub unless your cries become voiceless and your head gets dizzy from the position. 

Then when you’re finally in that dumb state, nothing but incoherent babbles spilling from your lips, your body too exhausted to fight back. Turned into nothing but a toy for him to ram his cock into, He’ll pick you up once more, bringing your legs together and locking them in under one bicep. The other arm around your neck, not choking but pushing your head back so he can whisper filth in your ear as he lowers you down on his length. Your pussy so weak and wet, still struggles to fit him in all fully. Whines still come out when he’s halfway in, your breath gets hitch in your throat when he fully bottoms out. When he starts rutting into you, his balls slapping against your ass heavily with each bounce, he’ll press a hand down on the bulge protruding in your stomach. 

“Full enough yet, love?”

“Pussy still so fucking tight, gotta train her better.”

“Oh, little one, you’re nothing but a toy for me to fuck, aren’t cha?”

“So pliant, you’ll let me do whatever I want to you, right? Cause you love this cock so much..” 

[oneshlut]

Your writing is so good!!! I’m so happy to finally have found someone who writes for Flug! (And I feel like you capture his personality so well :,) ) Could I request some headcanons for Flug with a partner who gives him a lot of handmade gifts. From paintings or little sculptures, to poems/letters and songs. Basically a really artsy reader who just likes giving personal gifts to Flug! ^^ (and maybe even some to 505 as well, like handmade plushies) Thank you sm!

A/N: you are TOO sweet! i love hearing about how much you all love my writing, and flug is one of my favorites to write for!! i'll try my best to convey the reader's personality and all, thanksies for requesting! <33

Homemade Affection (Dr. Flug x Artistic!Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: Headcanons of Dr. Flug with an artistic S/O, who creates trinkets, paintings, letters, etc. as gifts. Extra meeting and confessing headcanons

Dr. Flug is hardly someone you'd describe as creative. His inventions were great! But the designs were.. well, practical, I suppose. They were made exactly how they were supposed to be, just to the extent for the machinery to work. So he had never put too much effort into designs when it came to his work.

His inventions also usually never had anything special added to them. Flug makes things exactly how they're asked to be made, and nothing else. He's a man of order and schedule, and honestly can't live without it. Which is why he forgets to add an off button to most of his inventions.

You, on the other hand, loved free-will. Especially when it came to your own creations, art, paintings, writings--everything! If you did care for order and all, you make sure to add your own personal color to your schedule. Doodles can be found all over any paper you're given, and in your spare time/all the time, you'd create plushies, sculptures, collages.. truly, anything artistic. Anything you were given, you incorporated some sort of pigment into it.

You had first met him when you joined Blackhat Org., for villainy and such. Surprisingly, you were a great addition to the company! Surprising to Dr. Flug, at least. Now, he's usually not one to judge, but you were practically radiating with color, so he kinda thought you were just a Demencia duplicate. Upon meeting you, he found himself pleasantly shocked.

Flug was intriguing to you. So incredibly different than you, yet somehow, you two clicked. He was a nervous wreck, yet somehow put together. Kinda like you! (jk)

The more time you spent with him, the more Dr. Flug got comfortable with your presence. When he was having a busy day, he'd sometimes ask you to do small things for him. You, most of the time, obliged. Unless you were busy as well--most likely busy painting something that doesn't need to be painted.

Confessions? Oh--yes! Right, right.. well, Flug kinda had this whole plan written out of how he'd admit his feelings for you. He would pace around his room for hours, mumbling incoherent, scrambled thoughts of what would be the uttermost perfect way to confess. He doesn't know what the term "Don't overthink it" means. His rambles, walking to nowhere, and planning usually came to a pause when you stopped by.

How ignorant he was, because as he was writing out a plan that reached to the floor, you were cooking up your own idea to confess aswell. Except, you weren't focused on making it perfect. You wanted it to seem like it came from you. Yup, you were writing a confession letter to Flug. And yes, it did have doodles all over it.

When Dr. Flug left his laboratory for a moment, you stood to leave. Not after leaving your letter there, though. When he returned, he was worried about where you went, before the letter caught his eye.

He chuckled staring at the small doodles that covered the page. Then he read what you wrote..

Oh. His bag immediately flushed a deep red.

When the two of you got together, you immediately started on little crafts to give him. Either for dates, valentines day, christmas, or any holiday! Maybe one day for your anniversary..

Oh, Dr. Flug adores them. Every little thing you give him goes on a shelf right next to his jet collection. He treasures them as if they were of his own creation--because they were of yours. Nothing will be able to beat the feeling of receiving a gift from you. His eyes never fail to light up at the sight of your artwork. Yeah, he's head over heels. Not saying he worships you like a god, but he definitely looks up to you.

That confession letter definitely wasn't your last letter. Occasionally, you'd write him notes or letters for him when you couldn't make it to his lab. Sometimes love poems! Flug definitely tripped over his shoes reading your first love poem to him. He still can't believe such romantic subjects that he usually saw in movies were being shown.. towards him, of all people.

If you wrote a song for him? Dr. Flug would cry. Sorry, no way around it, his heart would throb and suddenly all his love for you was just flowing out in the form of tears. Afterwards, if you gave him a recorded tape of the song, he'd listen to it daily. Sometimes on loop in the background when he's doing work. He'd get distracted often, though...

The plushies definitely tugged at his heartstrings, though. You once gave him a plush heart, and he kept it on his desk everyday. Until 5.0.5. got to it. Dr. Flug once checked up on him to see how he was doing, before seeing him sleeping soundly, cuddling the knit creation you gifted him. After Flug sent a photo of it to you, because he was practically close to breaking down due to how wholesome the scene was, you knew exactly what you had to do.

The next day, you came in to the lab with two small hand-knit stuffies for 5.0.5. One sunflower, and one little mini-5.0.5. You were proud with how they turned out! Part of you wanted to keep them because of how cute they were, but you knew they were a gift for 5.0.5.

As soon as Dr. Flug set his sight on the stuffed plushies, his heart immediately warmed up. It honestly baffled him that someone would do that for 5.0.5., but I guess you were a naturally kind person. He was so lucky to have you, he realizes. After wiping the slightest bit of tears from his goggles, he took them and put them carefully with the rest of 5.0.5.'s stuffed animals.

Dr. Flug will now occasionally ask you to help him with his inventions designs, spotting your eye for color and overall talent when it came to.. well, art.

The two of you work together well, as both work-partners and.. partners. Flug adores your colorful nature, and you adore his technical nature. You snap together like yin and yang, and Dr. Flug couldn't ask for anything more than who you are.

If things keep going the way they are, you may wind up soulmates.

[ship-ambrosia]

i need to hear all your thoughts on Theon and Theonsa. Please i need the deepest of dives. I’m also obsessed

Hello dear, thanks for the message!! I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, this week was pretty rough at work. I am of course ALWAYS happy to talk about Theonsa.

Delusional, incoherent rambling vibes incoming. You have been warned.

I feel like I have talk ad nauseam about this relationship and all the things I love about it, and if I haven’t mentioned it, I’ve written about it lmao

First of all, I was introduced to this ship by my lesbian best friend. Straight up literally one of the only het ships I can think of that she likes. Theonsa is for the girls and the gays, confirmed. I myself was so shook bcuz they were my favorite characters from the very little of the show that I had watched at that point, so to hear there was ship potential?? I was hooked instantly

Idk about yall but I have the clip of Theon returning to Winterfell and him and Sansa hugging while he’s basically ignoring dany there the whole time saved on my phone and I watch it SO much. Would offer my firstborn child to know what exactly Alfie Allen (and Sophie, but mostly Alfie) was thinking while that was being filmed because that’s the scene that convinced me they were IN LOVE especially that Theon loved her. It’s just the way his eyes flicker to Sansa even when he’s supposed to be addressing his “Queen”.

Honestly I’m a lot more forgiving toward season 8 than most of my friends but the one thing that pisses me off is that everyone leaves sansa alone at the end!! Wtf!!! Anyway if Theon had survived you can’t tell me he wouldn’t have stayed with her. He would have 100% dedicated the rest of his life to being at her side, whether anything came of their love or not. And god one day I need to write a scene of theon and Sansa reuniting immediately after the night king is killed!! Theon exiting the Godswood with Arya and bran and Sansa running over to all three of them!! Ugh my heart. Also, I feel like Dany would be so grief stricken over Jorah and to see Sansa happily reunited with Theon would make her absolutely furious which sounds very interesting to me

Umm what else. I think Theon should’ve gotten to kill his uncle. Why’d that kill go to Jaime? I had this fic idea a while ago where Baelish doesn’t bring the knights of the vale so Jon loses the battle of the bastards and Sansa ends up back with Ramsay but Theon’s already convinced Yara to go north to help (I know Yara would never do it but LET ME HAVE THIS) and then Euron hears his niece and nephew are going north so he decides to go north too. So basically three of the worst men converge at Winterfell to face off basically fighting over Sansa but surprise Theon and Yara break Jon out of prison to rescue her. And yeah Euron’s just like oh I want the Stark girl now because I know my nephew wants her. Then Theon can get to kill Euron or Ramsay or Baelish. Lmao. Most of my fics start as incoherent vibes like that

Uhhh if there’s any else you wanna know about specifically feel free to ask again! That’s about all I can think of right now thanks 🥰

[tojisun]

ive missed so many games, IM SORRY SUNSUN!!! I HAVE TO CATCH UP! ive been in a funk; only able to read, not yap. which makes me sad! i miss u cutie, but ill be yappin to u soon !!!!! i love you always🩷

omg love dont u worry about a thing!! im just glad to be talking to u :'> i missed u so so much and i hope u are doing well!! and pls, i cant wait for our yap sesh teehee <33

i love you always kai my star!!

hockey ramble (a long winded break down of the finals so far, from an oilers fan) under the cut so pls feel free to ignore again heheh

so the oilers win western conference and headed to finals, facing off with the panthers.

games one and two were played in the home ice of the panthers because during the regular seasons, after tallying each team's wins, the panthers had more wins than the oilers (104 EDM - 110 FLA)

the finals started really badly for the oilers. game one was a shutout (0 EDM - 3 FLA), game two wasn't any better (1 EDM - 4 FLA). game three saw oilers managing to shave the score difference to one point but they ended up losing too (3 EDM - 4 FLA). these three consecutive wins for the panthers means that they only need one more game to win the cup.

and then game four happened.

this was played in the edmonton home rink (so was game three), and because it was the final game that the panthers needed to win to get the cup, it was riddled with anxiety.

oilers scored first.

scoring first is necessary for shifting the momentum, but it was not a goal that really settled our nerves because game two started that way too, with the oilers scoring first only for the rest of their shots to be blocked by the great wall that bobrovsky (panthers' goaltender) makes.

but then they scored another one, and another one, and ended the first period with a two point lead (3 EDM - 1 FLA), with one of their goals this period made during the panthers' power play.

it was exhilarating. the flicker of hope grew and it turned into a whole blaze.

period two saw more beautiful progress for the oilers, with their captain and forward, and arguably the very heart of the team, connor mcdavid finally scoring his first goal in the finals of the playoffs.

not soon after, davo matched his goal with an assist to nurse, bringing up the score difference between the oilers and the panthers to four. it is by then that the panthers pulled their starting goaltender out, bobby, and subbed in stolarz who made his "first career playoff appearance" in this game.

stolarz struggled too, and, in the end, facing the spectacular plays made by the oilers, game four was snagged from a panthers sweep and extended the oilers' season. it was a tremendous victory (8 EDM - 1 FLA). historical, even.

non-fans called it a fluke, saying that the panthers just wanted to win the cup in home ice, while fans saw this as oilers finally waking up and playing how they usually do.

game five was played back in the panthers home ice. again, one more win for the panthers and they would be the cup winners, so tensions continue to mount and peak.

davo, in an interview, said that they will win this game and "drag them back to alberta." (talking about game 6).

dude, i can't even begin to explain how monumental yesterday's game was, but drag it back home they did. i'm still reeling over the final score so i'm still incoherent and pretty much in disbelief so do forgive me. but:

stuart skinner, the man he is.

i forgot which commentary youtuber said it but this is how they described skinner: he is average at best, especially against bobrovsky, but he is volatile. he is a beast when he gets in his groove. unshakable.

we saw that skinner yesterday. in a sport where goaltending amounts to the final score, stuart skinner made impossible saves yesterday. yes, it's not a shutout and yes, the panthers scored three goals more than comfortable, but the saves that skinner made were the tight and hard-hitting ones.

the momentum he carved out for the team in period one was kept consistent throughout the game.

connor brown and his shortie - a goal made during a panthers power play. it was the first goal of yesterday's game, during a crucial moment, and shot after an impossibly terrific of a pass from janmark.

connor mcdavid.

i may sound too biased but you have to understand where i'm coming from. davo is the best NHL player of this decade, and this sentiment is very much founded.

he has so many highlight moments from yesterday's game, but three of the monumental ones for me are: his second goal, his assist to perry's goal, and his clutch goal during the third period with only about less than twenty seconds left in the clock.

tkachuck was able to save the initial empty-netter goal. it was a tremendous save and cinematic, to be honest. he hooked the puck with his stick and used his full body to fling it out. he ended up caught in the net - cue the memes - but davo skated after the puck, took control of it, and amidst cheers for tkachuk's miracle save, he sent it back in the net, ending the game with a two point lead for the oilers (5 EDM - 3 FLA).

it was SOMETHING.

everyone knew it then - game five was a historical play.

and it was: the oilers are the "first team in a stanley cup final to win a game 5 on the road after trailing 3-0."

.

.

im sorry for the hockey rant, its just that. what started as a passing interest for the team that beat my team (canucks) turned into a full-blown love because how can you not???

[to-myalphonse]

Sagau moments part 2~

These are just some moments I had in game. If you’re tired of my sagau ramblings feel free to ignore. I dont want to write sagau drabbles , but here’s some small stories that happened to me.

Childe boss fight

Me and someone we’ll call.. Ace were co-oping and were fighting Childe. I entered the domain, and suddenly he started targeting me. I ignored it of course and continued fighting until we reached the end. Once he went down, Ace mentioned that Childe usually only targets the host of the world not the 2nd player. I don’t know if this has happened to anyone but yeah.

Amber (weird voice over line)

One time I was trying to get a chest from one of the time limit red test things (I forgot the name of it at the moment). When I messed up the third time, Amber said this weird line “Aw, don't (incoherent words) it.” It sounded like she said, “Don’t jag it.” Which is something I completely don’t know. This isn’t an actual line in her voice over by the way, and she still says then sometimes when I use her. 

These stories aren’t that interesting, so sorry if they disappoint you~

@intothegenshinworld (sagau stories)

[anxiousosaurus]

PER MY LAST POST WHERE I WAS SCREAMING ABOUT EPISODE 4, I HAVE NOW FINISHED SO SPOILERS FOR THE END ALSO I'M JUST RAMBLING SO FEEL FREE TO IGNORE:

BUMPYYYYY OMG SHES OK 😭😭😭😭 A BABY BUMPS OMG 😭😭😭THATS BEAUTIFUL 😭 BUT ALSO WAS HER EGG IN THAT BOX WITH THE OTHER EGGS?!

Benrius and their dino family😭 that part where Ben told Mateo to take care of them with his arm around Darius?! That's a whole family right there 😭😭😭

BUT ALSO SAMMY FINALLY BONDING WITH BUMPY LIKE SHE WANTED IN S3 AND NOW SHES A PARENT TOO😭 ALSO WHERES ANGEL AND REBEL AND FIRECRACKER??

But fr these kids with their dinos, man😭 they all live Bumpy so much 🥺 (rightfully so!)

I genuinely cried when I thought she was going to die, I could NOT handle that on top of them trying to shoot down Benrius. 😩

Was gushing over Yasammy while sobbing over Bumpy :')

But fr though that ending??? What is Brooklynn doing?? Selling dinos?? Why?? If it wasn't the Allosaurus, but the trained atrociraptors, why did they hurt her? To fake her death?

Also, why did they have Darius randomly crushing on her? I mean, I was chill with them as a ship before, in like, season 1-2 they were cute, but way later? It just felt odd. Idk, but it was well executed, the way Kenji and everyone else reacted was interesting to see.

And Darius said something about "I didn't think I could feel that way" when he said he loved Brooklynn, I wonder if that'd mean he's Demi/Aro/Ace or something because that would be cool! I don't think there's much representation for that.

I'm just like. Losing it now. I feel crazy inside and have so many thoughts but I'm incoherent 💀

[fire-water-grass-core]

OOC

tl:dr i'm placing all my blogs on indefinite hiatus, i'll be putting that in my pinned posts as well.

Well. I made the decision. it's been coming for a while tbh, i've taken a lot of breaks in the last few months, and if i'm honest i never really wanted to stop these breaks. I'm not having fun roleplaying here anymore. It's an ugly truth, but its a truth.

I don't want to blame anyone but myself, please don't get this wrong. But i want to explain myself and i want to be honest. And also, i'm very sorry about incoherent rambling, i can't really help it right now.

I feel like i had no involvement in this community anymore. Which is... objectively false, but that doesn't help me feel better. All the people that made me join rotomblr either left themselves or they evolved so much and so fast that i can't keep up. There are new people as well, and there are many that i like a lot, but in the end, rotomblr is changing way too fast for me to keep up and it simply kills all my joy and motivation. (again, i don't blame anyone here. I want you to have fun. It's just sad that i can't be part of the fun)

I have tried a lot to bring my motivation back to rotomblr by making A LOT of blogs, some have been very well received, some are not getting any attention. And again, i understand that. I don't want anyone to force themself to be into something they're not. And i understand much much better that i can't just expect a blog i created 5 minutes ago to get asks and followers in the hundreds. But this is, in the end, another reason for me to feel left out.

I also tried to plan an event, i tried making a story and none of it really went anywhere. I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you can go and plan something like this, and how you work together with people like this, and i just can't keep it up anymore. It's gotten so bad that i actually fear opening the app on my phone. I don't read my favourite blogs anymore. And since i realized that, i also realized i need to make a change.

In addition, there is also real life, and other hobbies, and all of it is draining the limited time i have as well as my mental capacity and lately have been getting REALLY depressed. Not specifically because of rotomblr, but i think it's been a part of it.

So. I have made the decision to put all of my blogs on hiatus. I don't want to delete them, because i had it often that i just gave up on a hobby or a game or a book and came back to it after a long time. And honestly, i like a lot of the characters. They are very dear to me, and most of them only live through tumblr, and i don't want to lose them. But i don't have concrete plans to come back anytime soon.

On the other hand, i won't leave the few discord servers i'm in, mostly because i still really like the community and i consider quite a few of you people good friends by now.

PS: I am so incredibly upset with myself it's unbelievable. When i made the blog and started having really a lot of fun, i said to myself that i want to keep this hobby up for one year. That was my goal. And i failed. FUCK. On the other hand i have been ignoring rotomblr for a bit already and it's been kinda freeing. so... yeah... meh.

[vampcubus]

OK but like honestly? (Despite the fact that no one asked for my opinion....) I think I'd like to see and alpha woman with a cunt. Like I'm not opposed to the media where an alpha woman has a penis, but at the same time I'd like to see more where it's an alpha woman and she has a vagina... likeidk maybe I'm just reading too much into it but like sometimes that feels like another sorta sexist thing? Like a woman can't truly dominate unless she has a masculine part. Like domination is truly only a penetrative (is that a word?) act is what i sometimes feel like in fiction. So like I would be down for a bad alpha boss woman dominating a man with the power of her cunt. Like yes describe the pheromones that are making him incoherent. Describe the fact that he can't stop leaking and is super wet for her.~ idk again definitely not bashing anyone, intimacy and sex have so many different facets, but idk all the fics with omega verse readers make few readers be the omega and submissive. I think I'd like to flip the tables but with a twist.... idk feel free to ignore my rambles.

you are actually describing my exact feelings! like i would like to see more fem!alpha's with cunts, especially in reader insert fanfic!

i also feel like theres a lot of stigma around penetration = domination, which is so not true cus those things truly have nothing to do with one another. even if submissives are often also bottoms, and dominants are often also tops. i hate the idea that some ppl have that a woman has to have a dick/strap to dominate someone (as much as i love pegging <3)

i feel like i'd read more nsfw omegaverse if fem!alpha readers were portrayed with a pussy more often (not that i have an issue with fem!alpha readers with the traditional alpha genitalia) ah, most ABO fics feature a sub omega!reader so i feel i shouldn't complain too much.

[samsrowena]

moogs!!! I saw in your poll that you had ~unpopular~ thoughts about Rowena’s ending being becoming the queen of hell and I would be really interested to hear them if you wanted to elaborate!!! <333 if you’ve already talked about it somewhere then ignore me, I must’ve missed it, just link me to that maybe? love hearing your thoughts bestie - jo

HIII i'd be happy to!!! apologies in advance if this gets kind of rambly or incoherent lol

but okay so my main problem with it is that it just feels really reductive (which is on par with everyone else's ending but i digress). in theory i guess i get how it could feel like a full circle moment; she was introduced wanting the throne for selfish, evil purposes and then her story ends with her having the throne and using it for good. but in execution, i was not a fan. to start with, in 15x08 she seemed to revert to season ten rowena (but this is buckleming writing her so i shouldn't be surprised), bragging about everyone being afraid of her and then saying she wished she died a long time ago, as if all of her character development up until that point meant nothing

because i honestly just don't see any scenario in which she'd ever even want to become ruler of hell after season thirteen. she didn't care about power anymore. she'd been completely broken by lucifer and all she wanted was redemption. and i really despise the idea that sacrificing herself to save the world but then still being condemned to hell anyway was her being redeemed (of course she's not the only character they do this with; the message that you have to die for redemption/forgiveness runs rampant in the show and it sucks)

then there's the whole destiny thing. which is just like. i'm sorry but why in the hell would a group of people who literally call themselves "team free will" just accept that someone they care about is destined to die??? the only time they even allude at attempting to change her fate is at the end of funeralia but then they never even try. and in a season where their whole goal is to free themselves from thee biblical god's control, you would think they'd push back on the idea that her fate is set in stone a whole lot harder than they did (which is basically not at all). i just know in my heart that is so so so unlike them, especially sam after finding out he was the one who would kill her. this is the same guy who spent a whole season trying to save dean from certain doom (not to mention the countless other examples of him obsessing over saving people he cares about), so there is NO doubt in my mind he would've did the same for rowena

but i don't know, i mean i definitely understand the appeal of her becoming queen and maybe i'd be more open to it if they ended up doing more with it (and to their credit they apparently planned to, ruthie said at a con she was signed on for more episodes but covid ruined that) but at the end of day i just truly think she deserved so much more than being relegated to an eternity of doing a job that even her own son despised at the end

[georgespaniel]

this is me speaking frankly about my thoughts on all of this because i've been really struggling over the past 2 days because of the matty shit and it hurts. i will admit i feel conflicted over this which i hate and if you feel similar or want to tell me to shut the fuck up feel free but i think talking about it and getting out my system will help. this is rambly, incoherent, kinda personal and quite long so feel free to ignore but i just want it out there.

i think i am very parasocial with matty and that makes me want to excuse him far more than i should, and i'm willing to admit that is a flaw. i want to be in denial and tell myself that this is all just a big bit and he's not really like that but how the fuck am i supposed to know that? i keep telling myself that he is better than this and he doesn't actually believe any of this but realistically i know nothing about this man other than what he shows us, and what he showed on that podcast was really shitty. i can't keep excusing his shitty behaviour, before i just thought of him as a loveable asshole but he's turning more and more into just a straight up asshole.

i feel like people on both sides of this debate are being way too loud because it's a lot more nuanced than either 'he has committed every -ism under the sun and is a terrible bigot' or 'he's done nothing wrong lol you're just a fake fan that's his humour' and i hate that no one can just have a conversation about this. i've seen and spoken to a few people on anon about it and it's been much nicer so i appreciate this tumblr community for being so nice even though this blog has only existed for like a week lmao.

i have loved matty since 2015 and my love was really reignited back in November and it's made these past few months so good for me, i saw them live and made 15 year old me's dream come true and i think i was kinda waiting for it to all go to shit so i feel like i shouldn't be surprised but i still am.

it hurts that a man who has been so vocal about supporting women and condemning bigotry and toxic masculinity can't stop himself from participating in such unnecessary low blow humour for some cool points. like i don't really give a shit if it's satire and all a big bit, the words are still harmful and they still fucking hurt.

like it's so frustrating because in my head i want to believe he is better than this!!! he has been so vocal in the past and that goddamn brit award speech he made just doesn't seem like the same person who was in that interview. but once again how am i supposed to know that. maybe he's an absolute prick behind closed doors.

i don't feel like what was done was egregious but he was clearly happily complicit in it and thats what makes me so uncomfortable. it's such shitty punch down humour that is completely unnecessary, like yeah its a joke or whatever but its such a shit joke that is only funny because its something they know will never happen to them. even if the hosts are minorities themselves it doesn't give them the right to make such shitty racist remarks and especially for privileged white boy matty to be joining in with them.

i think its poe's law that goes something like 'if your attempt at satire is indistinguishable from the person you are mocking you are no better than them'. like even if he isn't a bigot he sure is fucking sounding like one and it pisses me off. and i have seen people who definitely are bigots laughing at this shit and feeling validated by it. if people who genuinely believe that shit are laughing and agreeing with you then you need to take a step back and reevaluate what you are saying.

he has no ability to understand when to shut his mouth and understand that his opinion isn't fucking needed. oh great yet another rich privileged white man's opinions, exactly what the world fucking needs.

i feel like he could maybe redeem himself is he showed even an ounce of self reflection and realisation that he has genuinely hurt people, if he actually apologised or fucking did anything to acknowledge the shitty stuff he has done, but he never does!!!! he never does because he can get away with it because people keep letting him get away with it.

and yet despite all that a small part of me still wants to love him and its been tearing me apart. i considered myself to have very strong morals and this goes against so many of them. i'm not sure if it's the parasocial attachment or the comfort he has brought me over the years but i really don't want to lose that, but that sacrifices my own morals to do that (am i being too sensitive, am i too morally black and white, is what i am feeling valid, am i a bad person for thinking this???)

i hate the fact that every time i try to listen to their music or i see the videos that used to make me feel so happy i just feel sick. i want to feel comforted and happy like i used to but now i just think about him and feel upset, i don't want him to be that person i so desperately don't but i don't know anymore and i don't know what to do.

i hate the fact that i can't form my own opinions and i am so influenced by what other people say, i am so desperate for someone to valdiate me but two people have told me it's okay and i still feel sick. i want someone to tell me how to feel about this but when they do i can't accept it. i love him and i hate him so much and those feelings can't get on with each other. it just really really fucking sucks.

[sekhithefops]

The World is Run by Jerry Smiths

So, its a popular idea that there's a shadowy cabal of rulers running the world. The Illuminati, the Deep State, the Lizard People, what have you.

Personally, I have my own theory on this one.

They're not shadowy or secret.

They really don't run the world in any sense but running it into the ground.

They're all basically Jerry Smith from Rick & Morty.

Now hear me out.

In Rick & Morty, Jerry Smith is Morty's father. He is an insecure little tit who is forever trying and failing to prove his worth, because he doesn't realize he has no worth to prove. He's pretty pathetic.

He almost gets murdered by Meeseeks when he tries (and fails) to improve his golf game, the short-lived helper creatures realizing that they can be free of their existence if they get rid of him and (technically) fulfill his request by doing so ("we can't take two strokes off his game, but we can take all strokes off it!")

He gets used by the ruler of Pluto to try to get people to ignore the fact that their planet is being destroyed by their own abuses of it and goes along with it because his ego is getting stroked the entire way, to the point of humiliating his son on stage.

And he's such a man-child that he winds up in a literal daycare for Jerrys that an alternate version of Rick established to take care of them while a universe's Rick and Morty were off having adventures.

Every time I see Jerry, I'm reminded of... honestly a lot of political figures in the United States (probably other countries too, but I try to avoid political news that doesn't directly affect me as it would only stress me out horribly.)

Lately America has been on one of it's regular Moral Panics that will, more often than not, blow up in the GOP's face in the end. We've had the Satanic Panic, the Porn Rock hearings of the 80s, and the like... now we're on to Transpeople. Politicians are trying to mandate how gender works because... I dunno, they're afraid of getting cooties or something (or more likely the usual 'we're trying to incite a culture war to avoid the class war that will likely happen one day.')

One of the worst offenders of this is Ron DeSantis, governor of Florida. A little toad of a man who is so insecure that he wears stealth high heels in order to make himself appear taller than he is as he attacks anything and everything he considers "woke" in revenge for... well, whatever. Probably losing the 2024 nomination to a pile of Cheetos in an ill-fitting suit.

Moving away from the political sphere we can find Jerries in the leadership of the business world as well. A prime example is one of the reasons I reactivated my Tumblr account in the first place. Everyone's favorite little shit, Elon "Elongated Muskrat" Musk.

Elon is 100% what Jerry would be if he had a lot of money. He got laughed at on Twitter, so he bought it and bans everyone who looks at him funny. He buys up companies and claims he's a genius scientist for inventions he had no hand in designing (and that come out far worse for his involvement post-takeover.)

A closer to home example would be Tumblr's own Photomatt, who I didn't even know existed until recently and having found out about them I wish I could return to that happy place of ignorance.

Because a transperson was... honestly as far as I can tell existing to them for more than a few minutes they banned their account, then did so again when they made a burner account, then once more with feeling, then possibly a few more times (I lost count.)

Of course he's now getting dunked on from all sides and has only his millions of dollars and the ability to threaten siccing the FBI on offenders while screaming incoherently like a toddler who was told they can't have a cookie.

Again, Jerry Smith, but with money.

So yeah. Got a bit rambly there, but thats how I see the world really. Its not a bunch of tyrannical fascists, its a bunch of insecure little men who can't handle even the tiniest bits of criticism without having a panic attack.

Where's Rick when you need him?

[draculagerard]

if you would pretty please ignore the fact that i'm sending this 4 hours after I said I started the episode that'd be cool thanks <3 k so basically I took tiny notes while watching the episode (you gotta watch this stuff in moderation or else you're gonna turn to goop) so this is A: unfiltered Belle thoughts and B: the real life closest you'll get to me live blogging spn

Ok ok so I’ve seen the pilot before obviously but like actually what a traumatic start like fr even just thinking about it as it’s own thing it’s just woah wft

ADRIANNE PALICKI?!?!?!?! I FORGOT SHE WAS IN THIS I LOVE HER

Y'know what? Dean breaking in and fighting Sam in the middle of the night is realistic sibling representations me and my brother are like that too

“Dad’s been on a hunting trip and hasn’t been home in a few days” WHAA WHOMP

Yo fuck their dad actually

Ghost lady has her reasons. I trust her

Actually after consuming some media from like America I’ve realized the my understanding and usage of salt circles vastly varies from other people’s because in my culture when we put sal- [GUNSHOT] <- I’m protecting you from a whole spiel of random facts

Yeah ok when doors with locks like those lock it’s stupidly hard to unlock them without the button but it’s not impossible come on man

KILL HER WITH GUNS I GUESS (also she totally had her reasons I still trust her. God forbid women do anything)

Mmmmm gotta love that good old 2005 CGI

ADRIANNE PALICKI NOOOOOO

[end belle deranged ramblings I do have a meme tho 1 sec]

dont worry i feel that for rea. but also feel free to send me unfiltered thoguths i will enthusiastically read an essay of incoherent thoughts

YEAH !!! SHES HERE

for REAL oh my god

say the line Dean!!!!!

FUCK their dad. i hate John Winchester fuck his stupid ass

yeah

NOO not my random facts........ Belle...... i need to know

YEAH SDKJDSKJF

FAIR WARNING. this is literally the entire fucking show. hold on i have a post about this too

DFJFJDS yeah it's so funky

YEAAAHHH RIP TO HER FOR REAL

episode one comes to an end <3

[theythem-vylad-supremacy]

I am currently obsessing to a probably odd amount over Vylad and Zenix so I'm just gonna do some incoherent screaming about them and their relationship in the rewrite (please feel free to ask about them or literally anything else pertaining to the rewrite I want to ramble about things so badly)

So when the two first really "met" (not counting that one time Vylad shot an arrow at Zenix) they absolutely could not stand each other. Or more accurately, Zenix took immense pleasure in pettily antagonizing Vylad, who desperately tried to keep their cool, but sadly for them, Zenix has a bit of a talent to getting under people's skin.

This did eventually result in them getting into a full on fight at one point that had to be broken up by a few people.

This was practically the norm of most of their interactions for a bit. The time their dynamic shifted into something nearing friendship (and then eventually romance) came from a moment in which Vylad was sort of having a major breakdown because ~reasons~ and Zenix, to Vylad's surprise, didn't mock or even ignore Vylad. Instead, he chose to try and comfort Vylad.

This showed a new side of Zenix that Vylad hadn't seen before, so even though Zenix himself didn't really change much of how he interacted with Vylad at first, Vylad responded to it differently.

Eventually, what was once genuine insults became friendly banter, and eventually that became thinly veiled flirting and a romance was born.

[proudly-a-killjoy]

hi! feel free to completely ignore me haha

so recently some things have been happening that is making me feel like something or someone is watching over me and giving me a hand with things in life. nothing major, just like continuous small favours and things going my way when by all means they shouldn’t have. i was raised very loosely as christian (i went to a slightly christian primary school and was part of a church group for girls, but my family never went to church and my dad is staunchly atheist. my mum is more “meh” when it comes to religion). because of my own complicated thoughts about a monotheistic deity i don’t believe that’s what has been helping me. intuitively i’m feeling like it’s polytheistic.

i also have the MOST base level knowledge of polytheism. i enjoy ancient greek media and really love history (i read pjo as a kid 😭 trust me i’m well aware as fun as it was it isn’t really a reliable source) and when i was asking for some sort of sign (cliche ik) i started seeing a LOT of owls. like way more than i normally would. but i don’t know if that’s like a confirmation bias thing. i’m also from a country that before colonisation was celtic polytheism so maybe that has something to do with it?

this is such a ramble but i was basically wondering if you had any tips for how to identify what or who this feeling is or how to thank them? again if this is weird or you don’t know how to help feel free to. i’m also well aware how ignorant i sound, as like i said i know literally nothing about paganism.

thank you for at least listening to my incoherent ramblings!

I would recommend researching deities that have owls as one of their sacred animals to get started. That could at least help to identify which deity has been helping you out. To thank them you could probably do something simple like just saying thank you or leaving a small offering to them after you identify who they are. If you have trouble figuring out which one it is (I’m a chronic over thinker so every time I feel like I’m getting signs I have to get an abundance of them to feel secure enough to believe that they’re actually signs 😭) just say a general thank you. This could also easily open the door to polytheistic worship if you are interested. It doesn’t have to be complicated, just speaking to, leaving small offerings, or doing devotional acts.

This ask has crazy timing for me I’m not gonna lie, because recently in my life I’ve basically stopped practicing my pagan worship and kinda felt like I was leaning into being agnostic, but after about a week of signs from Apollo I decided to start polytheistic worship again literally last night. So this ask really is the biggest sign to me that I made the right choice

[lysallana]

Its been about a week since I posted this and I think it took about this long for me to fully collect my thoughts and feelings surrounding this decision that was... outwardly to my friends and gf a sudden and deliberate twist that it really wasn't and I do want to elaborate because I do think it's important to explain the full context here.

I was a whale. I spent a ton of money on gachas constantly. I have very low impulse control. My history with gachas is starting them up, spending money and playing for a week or a month. But never longer. Because honestly, most gacha games suck. They are mostly boring trash, terrible gameplay, and mostly serviceable stories.

I got into FGO cause IRL friends were into it. Having a consistent thing to talk about, speculate about, and theory craft about was really fun. My spending was out of control. I needed every new servant. I wanted every servant I missed. Any chance I had to get someone was taken, and most of it was buying quartz, not saving.

After lb6 released, and the hype surrounding that died down the discussions with my friends turned. No longer was the discussion tinged with excitement everything was turning negative. A sign of the rough patch of the games foreseeable future. But every New bit of info from the JP side of the game was met with hostility or indifference. The game and its future broke something.

In the months leading up to the new year, playing the game was a chore. I started looking away from the app icon on my phone and trying not to think about logging in. Events were done out of obligation. And there I sat, new years day. Having hit pity of a character I didn't want. Didn't need. But I had koyan dark and I was miserable. All of my excuses I typically gone to weren't working.

The day I deleted the app, was caused by a friend from a different group of friends posting into discord how she was done with her gacha of choice and deleted the app and in solidarity I decided enough was enough and did the same with mine. It felt like excising a demon.

I'm not going to sit here and shame anyone their vices. I'm not better than you because I've managed to symbolically get out, and I may even relapse who knows. But I do encourage every one to look at the games that you are playing and really take the time to wrestle with the questions about why you are still playing. Gacha games are predatory and even if you have good impulse control, they are still doing everything in their power to get you to break and start spending. If you aren't enjoying it, if it consistently angers you, if it feels like a chore. Stop playing. Stop engaging. Build up the strength to ignore it and move on. Please. It really isn't worth it. The best part of these games can be consumed for free by reading through the stories through YouTube.

I really needed to get this off of my chest and into some tangible form. If you read this far, hey thanks for reading my rambling incoherent mess, I swear this was more structurally sound last night when I couldn't stop thinking about posting my thoughts while laying in bed at 1 am.

I love you all but as an spending addict, don't be like me.

Enough is enough