#feel free to disagree and tell me if i missed one you think should’ve been on here

[idkaguyorsomething]

The Scott Pilgrim Takes Off treatment being defined as the movie being advertised as a more faithful retelling of its story, then going completely off the rails to shift focus and tell something different and new.

¡Reblog and explain your pick in the tags!

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Go to Hell

kai parker x reader

summary: there's nothing like waking up realizing you've been kidnapped by mystic falls' own sociopath, malachai parker. will this day end with your blood on his hands, or will his sweet spot for you save your life?

≪ originally published to ao3: 3/30/23 ≫

tags: consensual non-consent, kidnapping, knife-play, alludes to stalking, sex magic / spell, daddy kink, praise kink, minor spit kink, minor degradation; SPOILERS: secret phrase used for consent, roleplay, aftercare :)

word count: 5.4k

A rattle rings out throughout the otherwise empty room as you shake your hands, desperately trying to free yourself of the cuffs. No luck - they’re on tight, with little to no room for you to move. You bite your lip, scanning the room. Over by the chalkboard, a gleam catches your eye - the key. There’s no way you could reach it though, because even if you got free, your captor would definitely hear your escape. You’re left forced to await his return, and maybe, with a beg for mercy, he’d let you go unharmed. 

“Hello?” You call out gently. “Why am I here?” The only response is your voice echoing. “Please, you’ve kidnapped the wrong girl! I don’t know anything; I’m not worth anything to anyone!”

A click of the tongue interrupts your silence. Footsteps. They stop outside the classroom door. “Huh. I’d like to disagree with that. Surely someone’s looking for you.”

“They’re not, I promise. If you wanted to lure someone here, you should’ve captured Elena.”

Kai Parker stands in the doorway, wielding a knife. “Hm, well, I don’t want Elena. I wanted you.”

“Why?” You swallow hard.

“I’ve been watching you. Carefully. Some might call it stalking, even. I see when you leave your apartment, when you return. I know when you have class, and I know your favorite places to eat. I even know your coffee order.”

“Yeah? And what’s that?”

Kai smirks, then recites your order verbatim as you do every morning to the barista. 

“How do you know that?”

“Like I said, I’ve been watching you.”

“Why me?”

“Do I need a reason?”

“I…”

“I’ll tell you this much: I think you’re pretty. And you’re smart, and whether or not you believe it, you matter to someone.”

You scoff, tugging on your chains once again. “Why do you need me here?”

“I’m trying to learn how to control my magic. See, I siphoned a bunch last night, and now I don’t know how to use it. Oh, and by the way, don’t try to escape. I’ve bewitched the chains. They tighten each time you fight them.”

You stop resisting immediately.

“Good girl. Already learning. Oh, that’s the second part, too. Not only do I want control over my magic, I want control over you. See, you’re a pretty girl, I’ve already said that. But after having no control for eighteen years and being trapped in a prison world, I’m sick of living under my father’s terms. Now, I’m finally out, and I need to be in control of something, someone. And I’ve decided that’s you.”

“Is that what that knife is for?”

“Good observation. When I tell you to do something, you obey me. If you don’t, don’t think I won’t retaliate. There’s a reason I was locked up for years.”

“Oh I’ve heard your history, you-”

“Ah, ah, did I say you could speak? No. And certainly, I did not say you could talk back to me. What punishment do you think you deserve for that, him?”

“Like you’d actually hurt me. You’re all talk.”

A haunting smile takes over his face. “Brave little girl. You underestimate me. Look at me.”

You refuse to meet his eyes.

“Hm. That’s two punishments now. Okay, for the first one, how about…” suddenly, you feel a cut along your cheek. Looking at Kai, you see him directing his finger in a line, yet he doesn’t have to touch you to break skin. “Oh! You can obey, that’s a good girl. See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Go to hell.”

“Did you miss the part where I was in a prison world for eighteen years? That was hell, princess.”

“Then go fuck yourself.”

“Now why would I do that when I have you?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“No. You can’t.”

“As long as you obey, I won’t have to.”

“Kai, please!”

“Begging already? Didn’t count you to be weak, Y/N.”

You whine, tugging against the cuffs. Immediately, they tighten, causing you to cry out. 

“I warned you about that, princess. How’d you forget already?”

“Fine. What do you want from me?”

“I want you to sit still while I try a spell. It’s just a simple silencing spell, so that anyone possibly coming in won’t hear us, okay? I know it’s spring break, but you can never be too careful.”

Slowly, you nod.

“Good girl. This shouldn’t take long.”

As Kai performs his spell, you start brainstorming ways to escape. If you can just get out of the cuffs, you can do your own spell to get away from him, but as long as they tighten, you can’t concentrate enough to break free. Maybe you can try the classic breaking-your-thumbs trick, or maybe, break the table leg around which the cuffs are holding you. You debate this plan, although get so lost in it, you don’t realize when he stops chanting. 

“It’s done. Now, tell me, in that short period, how many different ways did you conjure up a possible escape plan? Hm? Two? Three? More than that?”

“I didn’t-”

“Don’t lie to me, princess.”

“I swear!”

Kai lifts his knife and stands up, “are you sure about that?”

“Fine! Fine. Okay, I thought of two.”

“Only two?”

“Yes, I promise!”

“And what are they?”

You shake your head.

“Be honest with me, Y/N,” he stalks over to you, leaving mere inches between your faces. His knife is pointed at the ground, but his grip on the handle is strong. 

“No.” And in a split second of defiance, you spit on him. It hits him square in the face and drips down quickly, some spilling onto his lip. 

Angrily, he grabs your neck. Not hard enough to cut off your airway, but enough to choke you just a little. The sharp point of the knife rests on your collarbone. The cool metal directly touches your skin. “Answer me.”

“No.”

“Y/N!”

“You won’t hurt me.”

He laughs, “are you sure about that?”

“You don’t have the guts. Sure, eighteen years of isolation made you crazy, but it also made you scared. Scared of your daddy, and what he was capable of. If you hurt me, it’ll make the news. He’ll come for you.”

“Don’t try to manipulate me!”

“You won’t do it, Kai. You can’t. You said it yourself, you think I’m pretty. Why would you kill a pretty girl you like? Hm?” You don’t know why you’re egging him on. Maybe the knife digging into your skin is turning you on a little; maybe it’s his eyes. Or maybe, this is the most excitement you’ve had in a long time, even if your words might be your last. 

“You’re right, why would I kill you?” In one quick motion, he slices the blade down the front of your shirt. It flies open, revealing your black bra for him to see. “Ah, lace. Like you knew you’d be kidnapped.”

“Kai-”

“Oh don’t ‘Kai’ me, I know you’re secretly enjoying this.”

“No.”

“Then how would you react if I-” he drags the blade down between your breasts. Involuntarily, you let out a moan. “There it is. ‘No’ my ass.”

“Don’t.”

“Oh, princess, you’re not going to fight me, are you? It’s this or I kill you.”

“Go to hell,” you repeat. 

Kai smirks, “oh, I’ll be on my way. Right after I get a little slice of heaven.”

There’s nothing you can do as he eyes your body. For a second, though, he seems doubtful - like he’s afraid to hurt you. But then one look into your defiant eyes and his dominance is back. “Look at me.”

You snap your gaze to him immediately.

“Good girl! I’ll give you a little reward for obeying so well.”

For a minute, there’s nothing, and you actually think that’s your reward. But not two seconds later, there’s an unexplainable pressure on your clit, rubbing it in figure-eights. Kai’s not even within kissing distance anymore, so how-? Right. Magic. Despite the situation, you want to groan. He’s so good at it, feeling exactly where you need him, and increasing pressure in certain areas. 

“You like that, princess?”

Lost in the feeling, you can only nod. 

“Use your words.”

“Yes, Kai.”

“I thought so. But we’re going to have to stop there. Can’t have you coming on me just yet.”

The pressure decreases into nothing, soon leaving you wet and cold. As soon as you come to, you realize what you just let him do. Embarrassment takes over and you duck your head away from him. 

“Awh, now don’t get shy on me.” You look back at him, afraid that that’s some kind of code word for needing your attention. “There you go, beautiful. Now, how will you feel about these pants coming off?”

“What?”

“What?” He repeats your question, “I can’t fuck you through jeans, now can I?”

“Kai-”

“I promise I’ll make you like it. All you have to do is listen. Maybe I’ll even untie you, if you promise not to run away.”

“No, please don’t.”

“Awh, come on! Your body is dripping, I can smell your arousal.”

“What?”

“Just another spell, don’t worry. Sex spell, actually. If you’re interested, I have another batch of the herbs. Just a little tea, and you’ll be wanting me in no time.”

“Why didn’t you already drug me? Figure you kidnapped me, might as well drug me, too.”

“Eh, wanted to give you a chance to get horny yourself.”

“Never. Never will I get wet for you.”

“Hmmm, that smell says otherwise. It’s pooling in your panties, Y/N. Sweet, like honey, or… cotton candy.”

You take a risk. “So why’d you drug yourself? You can’t get hard by yourself?”

“Aww, cute. No, I have full control over myself, Y/N. But thanks to my spell, like I said, it lets me know how you’re feeling about all this. And I know that you started to get wet the minute my knife first touched your skin.”

“I…” you curse yourself for not having an answer.

“It’s okay to be turned on. What do they call it? Stockholm syndrome? Falling in love with your kidnapper? I believe they even have a song about it. Huh,” he chuckles, “and it was in your playlist when I looked.”

You laugh in his face, “it’s One Direction. Everybody loves One Direction.”

“Yeah? Can you explain why it made your top ten on your Spotify wrapped?”

“It’s catchy.”

“Catchy, yeah. Or, you have a kink.”

“I do not have a kink.”

“It’s okay to admit, princess.”

“I do not have a kink.”

“Suit yourself.”

Without warning, Kai brings the tip of his blade further down your body, over your clothed sex. It doesn’t hurt, not in the slightest, but you can’t ignore the dull, tingling sensation left by the feeling. Then, he comes close enough to whisper in your ear, “I do believe you liked that.”

You swallow hard.

Kai flips his hand so that the blade is facing the ground before pressing the hilt into your crotch. He applies a bit of pressure, but not enough to cause pain. Just enough to see your face contort up close. “What about this? Do you like this?”

“No.”

“Hm. Let’s find out.”

Maybe if you had said something else, this wouldn’t be happening. Maybe if you said ‘yes’, he’d leave you alone, not wanting to please you, and would move his attention back up to your face. Maybe he’d cut your other cheek, or practice another spell. But no, you had to be defiant. And now he’s unbuttoning your high-waisted jeans, shrugging them down your legs. 

“Ah, lace panties. Matching your bra. I love when girls do that, it’s so sexy.”

“Fuck you, Malachai.”

“Ohh, princess, that is not what you want to call me.”

“What? Awww, are you sensitive? Does it hurt?” Again, why are you egging him on?

“Shut up, or I’ll make you. I have plenty of more silencing spells I could try out on you.”

“So why haven’t you? I could call out right now and expose you.”

“Well first of all, we’re in your old high school, and it’s spring break, like I said before. And second, like I also said before, I’m still learning how to control my magic. I don’t want you quiet, I want to hear you beg and cry for me to let you cum.”

“In your dreams.”

“Maybe this is. Maybe I haven’t kidnapped you. Maybe this is your dream.”

“We both know that it’s not. You’re a sociopath, and I’m your victim.”

“Aww, giving up so soon? You don’t have to be a victim.”

“You kidnapped me.”

“It’s all in good fun.”

“You’re insane.”

“Maybe. But like I told Elena when I kidnapped her, pre-merge, mind you, liking yourself is the most important thing. And I like me.”

“So you like being a sociopath? That pretty much solidifies the fact that you’re going to kill me. You’re going to use me, then kill me.”

“Not if you comply.”

“God,” you scoff, “this is crazy. You’re crazy.”

“Maybe. Let’s find out. Are you ready to listen to me?” He produces the knife again from his back pocket. “Or are we going to do this the hard way?”

You stare at him. This could go two ways: you comply with everything and hope he spares you, or you can fight him all the way through this and die with dignity. Neither option seems good, but then again, that’s the whole point of trying to survive a sociopath’s kidnapping.

“I can see the internal debate.”

“There’s no debate.”

“Again, with the lying! C’mon, fess up or face punishment.”

“No.”

“Still stubborn? Okay. Let’s… ooh, here looks good.” After scanning your body, Kai draws another line with his finger. This time, you see him using magic before you feel it, but soon enough, you can feel it, too. A straight line across your chest. In between your tits. 

“How’s that feel?”

“Go to hell.”

“You really like to say that.”

“I mean it.”

“Will you mean it after this?”

Now his finger is making circles in the air. Every so often, he rubs them together, too. In a few seconds following the gesture, you feel something tugging at your nipple. It’s cold, yer feels so, so good to be stimulated. “Oh fuck,” you whisper.

“There you go. Knew you’d like that. I overheard a phone call you made where you mentioned you loved when your ex would do that. Am I as good as him, Y/N?”

“Better,” you moan out. You slap a hand around your mouth in disbelief at what you just admitted.

“Don’t be embarrassed. It’s okay to enjoy the pleasure I’m giving you. That’s the whole point. You’re pretty, I like you.”

You gulp.

“Ah, and there’s that sweet smell again. Hey, would you like a taste? I know I’m craving it.”

“No, Kai, wait!”

He starts to move back over to you, but your words stop him in his tracks. “No? You don’t want any more pleasure? If that’s the case, I can just do a few spells and then leave you here. When those stupid kids return to their classes on Monday, they can find an almost nude girl, hungry, probably crying, tied up to the ceiling fan. Orrrr,” he drags it out, “you can let me fuck you, as I intended to do upon stealing you.”

You fight back threatening tears, “please don’t leave me here.”

“I don’t want to, princess. Let me take care of you. The only condition is that you obey me.”

“Fine.”

“That’s a good girl,” he strokes your cheek, “no need to cry.” 

With one hand on your face still, the other dips below your panties, feeling around your wet, hot core. Two fingers go in, then two come out, glistening. Kai brings them to his mouth immediately, rolling his eyes in pleasure at your taste. “Amazing. Would you like to taste yourself?”

“I have.”

He grins wide. “I knew I liked you. C’mon, taste yourself on my fingers.”

He repeats the action, bringing them to your lips next. “Good?”

You nod.

“Use your words.”

“Yes.”

“Good girl. Now, I wonder how you’d like this.” The knife reappears, and its hilt is, again, at your core. “Are you gonna let me strip you?”

You bite your lip. The thought of him fucking you with the knife sounds like absolute pleasure, but you hate to let Kai win.

“Come on, princess. The blinds are closed, no one can see you. It’s just you and me.”

“Fine.”

“That’s all? Just ‘fine’?” 

You nod. 

“Alright, I’ll take it.”

Kai hooks one finger around your panties and pulls them down your body. Your lower half is on display for him now; the only thing you have on at all is your bra. “Gorgeous,” he compliments with a lick of his lips. Then, still holding onto the knife, he buries the hilt into your pussy. It’s not deep at all, but it does bring some pleasure. Mostly because it’s a knife that he’s using, of all things. 

After letting you adjust to the feeling, he fucks you as best he can with it. He’s very close to your body, lips against your neck, fingers grazing your core, with every small thrust. You won’t cum from this, but it’s definitely checking off a box on your secret kinks list. “Oh!”

“Mhm, love to hear your whines.” He licks your neck before sucking on it.

If he were a vampire, he would be feeding from you right now. The quickly passing thought makes your body jolt. 

“Oh, princess, what was that?! Something got you all excited.”

“No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really? We’re just gonna pretend that didn’t happen? Hm, fine. I’d gladly take input if you like to be pleasured a certain way.”

“This is fine.”

“Is it? Shoot, because I was just about to stop. Knife’s not doing it for me anymore. Need something bigger.”

You hate to admit he’s right. Hate it, hate it, hate it. But he’s turned you on, and now if he doesn’t pleasure you, you’re gonna make him regret it. 

“What do you suggest we do instead? I can magic fuck you, make you believe there’s something bigger, thicker between your legs. Or… I can get a bigger knife. Or, we could do this the old fashioned way,” he ghosts a hand over his pants. It’s just then you realize how tight they’ve gotten; how big the imprint against them is. 

Looking at it, you lick your lips, completely forgetting the setting. Of course, Kai notices. 

“You like that idea?”

Your breath hitches in your throat.

“You don’t need to be scared of me. I said I’m going to take care of you.”

“Please, fuck me, Kai.”

“That’s a good girl, there you go. It’s okay to admit you need me.” He sets the knife down, then walks over to the chalkboard. “If I let you out of those cuffs, do you promise not to run?”

“Yes.”

“Just ‘yes’?

“Yes, daddy.”

“Much better. Do you promise not to scream?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Promise not to hurt me or escape in any way?”

“Yes, daddy, I promise, I swear.”

“You know if you’re lying, one little spell and I’ll have you back in my grasp. And if that happens, I won’t be so kind the second time. And I certainly won’t let you cum.”

“I know. I’m not lying.”

“Good.” He grabs the key, then stalks back over to you. “When I let you out, go over to that desk and kneel beside it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you want to keep the knife nearby? As long as you’re a good girl, I promise to not hurt you.”

“Yes, I want it. I like it.”

“Good choice.”

You obey every order as soon as he unlocks the cuffs. Any sane girl would run for the hills despite their promises, but Kai said he’d let you cum, and he is going to, because you say so. You’re going to make this kidnapping worth your while. 

You're on your knees at the desk when he comes back over to you, knife in hand. As he talks to you, he undoes his belt and zipper, then pulls himself out. 

“Okay, princess. Get me ready but not off.”

“Yes, daddy.”

He holds the knife at the back of your neck, but you’re not too worried about it. If anything, it motivates you. You waste no time getting him in your mouth. No part of you wants to wait, and although that should be because you want to get this over with, you secretly know you’re too excited to go slowly. Kai’s average in size, but thick, and even before seeing his cock, you were attracted to his looks. And maybe you do have a little bit of stockholm syndrome, so this isn’t the worst thing that could’ve ever happened to you. Besides, the only time he’s actually hurt you was the small graze on your cheek. If he wanted to cause you harm, he would’ve threatened you more. Kai just seems to want sex, but doesn’t know how to ask.

“You better be smirking because you’re enjoying this, not because you’re plotting.”

“Eumh noph, flotphing,” you respond, mouth so full that the words are incomprehensible.

“What was that?”

You pull off him, a trail of spit still connecting your bottom lip to his length as you do. “I said I’m not plotting.”

“Yeah? Then what was that smirk?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking about how good you taste.”

“Sure you were.”

“Can I get back to it?” You bat your eyelashes.

“Yeah, go. No more funny business.”

After that, he seems to have decided to retake control of the situation, because the knife soon disappears off your neck - you hear it clang onto the desk - and both his hands find their way into your hair. He digs his fingers into your scalp, making you moan, which sends vibrations throughout his body.

“Good girl.”

For about a minute, he then holds your head in place and fucks himself into your mouth. Tears form in your eyes despite how much you’re actually enjoying it. Though before you know it, he’s pulling himself away from you. 

“How are you doing, princess? Think you can take my cock now? Are you still wet?”

“Yes,” you nod as you stand up. He even helps to guide you down onto the desk. “Though I still think you should go to hell.”

“The minute I take myself out of your mouth, it gets vulgar again.”

“I’m sorry, daddy.”

“I didn’t say that was a bad thing.”

He smirks at the face you make, while lining up at the same time. To your surprise, and comfort, he starts slowly, giving you time to adjust. He starts with the tip, teasing your folds, then entering them just barely. Then, entering a little bit more, a little more, a lot more, until you finally nod for him to go fully. As soon as you give him the okay, he’s rocking hard into your body. The desk is shaking and you’re quickly a moaning mess. Sweat glistens at his forehead, somehow making him even hotter.

Suddenly, he’s chanting. Fear courses through your body, unsure of what he’s doing, what spell he’s producing. You’re about to interrupt, possibly burst into tears, when he stops. In fact, another noise stops, too. 

“What was that?”

“Stop that damn desk from shaking. Don’t want it to break and hurt you.”

His concern for you makes your heart warm. Maybe he is just a sad boy who needs to kidnap girls for sex, and uses his sociopathic tendencies to get his way. 

“Plotting again?”

“No, daddy.”

“Better not be.”

“Promise.”

“Good girl. Open your legs wider for me.”

You obey instantly, and he goes deeper. His finger on your upper cervix marks an area he’s hit repeatedly. He’s pressing into it gently, making you gasp each time he hits it again. 

“Kai?”

“What?”

“Knife.”

“You want the knife?”

You nod enthusiastically.

His spare hand grabs the knife again and presses it onto your throat. “Look at you, my sexy, kinky slut. You’re being such a good girl for daddy.” He drags the knife along your body, tracing your tits, your arms, then back to your neck. The finger on your cervix has since moved to your clit, rubbing it exactly how you like it. “Are you close?” He asks after a few more minutes.

“Yes, daddy, I’m so close.”

“Cum for me, princess. You can do it. Come on,” he continues to coax you, not slowing down until you finally hit your high.

You cry out his name, whining and moaning, gasping for breath. Your legs are shaking and your core tightens around him. As you’re finishing, his is triggered. He cums inside of you in thick ropes, probably painting your insides white.

“Holy fuck,” he moans out, riding you through his own high. For a minute, he collapses on top of you in an effort to catch his breath. 

“Kai, no pill,” you say in between breaths.

“Yeah, and I don’t want fucking Gemini babies.”

He pulls out of you slowly. You’re both sensitive and he’s going soft. As soon as he’s out, his cum begins to leak out of you. Some of it he misses and it falls to the carpeted floor of the high school. “Oh well,” he only shrugs. The rest, he gathers in his palm and drips into his mouth. You watch him as he swishes it around, clearly swallowing half the load, but you know there’s more in his mouth. He locks eyes with you and taps his jaw. You know this is code for you to open yours. As predicted, he leans down to spit the mixture into your mouth. “Swallow it. That’s for spitting on me.”

“You deserved it,” you sass back after swallowing.

“Don’t interrupt my spell.”

You shut your mouth and instantly, he starts chanting. A minute later, he opens his eyes.

“Contraceptive spell.”

“That’s handy.”

“Yep.” Kai looks at you, seemingly admiring your body. “I’ll be back. Run if you so wish, or stay, I don’t care. You’ve served your purpose.”

And with that, he leaves the room. 

You sit in the empty room, staring at nothing in particular. There’s a dull burning on your core from his thrusts, and your cheek is still stinging a bit from the cut earlier, but overall, you’re still enjoying the effects from your high. You take a couple deep breaths, then glance over at the knife. It’s a gorgeous knife, of course it belongs to someone as beautiful as Kai Parker. 

Speak of the devil, his footsteps return. 

“How are you feeling, princess?” He leans in the doorway, twice in one day, This time, though, carrying a number of things.

You smile at him, “really good.”

“I didn’t go too far?”

“No, baby, you were perfect.”

“Okay, good.” He comes over to stand beside you again, setting down his supplies. “Let me take care of you, hm?”

“Okay.”

He hands you a water first, “drink as much as you can,” he points to it. “Are you sore?”

“A little.”

“Okay, I got you.” He wipes you down with a wet but warm washcloth, then follows it up with a dry one. On and around your pussy, he applies a moisturizer that instantly makes it feel better. He massages your hips and thighs, too, easing any tension that may have built up from your position. 

“Kiss me, Kai.” The boy stops mid-care to give into your will. He kisses you sweetly, cupping your face. His hands on your chin graze the magic cut, and he breaks the kiss to look at it.

“Shit, that’s worse than I intended.”

“It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt. A little dull pain, but I’ve told you before, I like pain.”

“Mhm, but I’m still going to clean it up, okay?” 

You nod. Kai takes out a new washcloth and dabs the cut clean, before applying some kind of natural healing cream to it. “Feel better?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I’m going to get this one on your chest now.” He repeats the same process to the cut between your breasts.

“Okay. Anywhere else hurting?”

“You didn’t hurt me anywhere, baby.” 

“I know, but anywhere else you need a little care? How’s that wording instead?”

“Not that I can think of. You got the three spots that were a little sore.”

“Okay.”

“I do need a new shirt, though. You cut open my one.”

“I did, didn’t I?”

“That was so fucking hot. I didn’t know you were going to do that.”

“Hey, we had to leave some of the night up for improvisation. What’s the fun in planning it all?”

You grin at him, beckoning him closer with your hands for a hug, As you break apart, though, your face grows sad. “Speaking of which…”

“You okay, princess?”

“Yeah, but um… I didn’t go too far, did I?”

“When?”

“When I was egging you on earlier. When I brought up your dad. I didn’t mean it. You’re not weak; you’re a lot stronger than you know for surviving that prison world.”

“That? No worries, gorgeous, I know you didn’t mean it.”

“But it hurt you, I know it did. I could see it in your eyes.”

“Well, it is partly true. I am afraid of him. But I’m okay, I promise. You didn’t go too far, we were both playing around. And I said much worse to you.”

“I’m sorry, Kai.”

“Rest your little head, darling, it’s okay. You’re perfectly okay.”

“If he ever does come and even try to hurt you, I’d kick his ass so hard he’d be choking on my boot.”

The threat makes Kai laugh. A genuine, happy laugh. “I know you will. I love you, princess.”

“I love you, too.”

“While we’re on this page, though, I didn’t go too far, either, right?”

“Nope, I’m all good.”

“Good, okay.”

“Hey, did you really drink a sex tea, or was that made up?”

“Oh no, princess, I really drank one. And yes, I could smell your arousal, and it tasted as good as it smelled.” He notices your blush. “All that and you’re getting shy now?”

“I can’t help it! You’re so fucking hot, Kai. You’re hot when you’re praising me, and you’re hot when you’re calling me a slut. And oh my god, you’re hottest with that knife, pressed against my throat. I- I- um… I need- we need to do this more often.”

Your confession has Kai just as red as it has you, “I am certainly down to do this again. Say, we could even switch up the location. How would you feel tied to a tree, maybe?”

“Or what if I force you on your knees in that Lockwood cellar, hm?”

Kai’s jaw drops. “That can definitely be arranged.” The thought of you in a dominant position over him suddenly renders him paralyzed. 

“Good,” you kiss his cheek. 

“But before any of that, we need a couple calmer nights. We’ll talk them through again, too.”

“Of course. Is ‘go to hell’ still a good consent phrase?”

“It’s perfect. Work for you?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now let’s go home, princess. I’m not done caring for you yet. Finish that water, and I’m going to cook you dinner.”

“Okay, Kai.”

“And, we really need to get out of this high school, before the post-spring-break janitors come by.”

“Are we gonna get the little bit of cum you missed?” You point to the small, but darkening stain on the carpet.

“Nope,” Kai smirks, “they can play Salem witch trials with that.”

“Mystic Falls trials of which students snuck in to fuck over break.”

“Exactly. Jokes on them, we’re not in high school.”

“Nope, and technically, you’re old enough to actually be my daddy.”

“Y/N, we’ve hashed this out before!”

“I know, I’m just messing with you… daddy.”

“You better stop before you dig yourself a hole there.”

You giggle, “I would, but I’m tired. And I want you to cook me dinner, because you cook really well.”

“Thank you, princess.” Kai takes your hand, his supplies in the other, to start the walk home.

“Don’t forget the knife,” you snort, grabbing it with your own spare hand.

“Definitely don’t forget the knife. Thank you, again, love.” With a final kiss shared between you two, you make your way home. 

[lxngbottom]

Mistakes That Last Forever. | N.L.

in which neville stumbles across... an “old friend”.

warnings: mentions of cheating, angst, pregnancy, slight trauma mentions (lmk if i missed any!)

i got inspired for this by an outsider imagine that i read like a really longgggg time ago... so enjoy this ig (AND YES THERE WILL BE A PART 2 TO THIS)

(PART 2)

—

neville’s whole life had been filled with regrets. they seeped into his skin, torturing his clouded mind on day to day basis. the trauma from the second war had left a mark on him, and even though he was now in the infamous herbology professor at hogwarts, he still didn’t feel as if he was living the life he had always wanted to. he didn’t feel successful, he didn’t feel... good about himself. and the main source of that?

you.

his biggest regret was losing you. hurting you. leaving you in such a needing time.

it had all started after the war. you two had been inseparable since 2nd year, as you were the one who had helped him down from the chandelier when he was tragically hung up by those pesky pixies. and ever since then, he was enamored with you. he was consumed by the mere thought of you. and, your feelings didn’t differ too much.

so, you two became official in your 4th year. you two were each other’s firsts for practically everything that could be a first. and, you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. you were so in love with him, it tore you from the inside out.

but unfortunately, the war arrived. and, it took a huge toll on your relationship. it affected each bit of what you guys had built together. after the war had ended, you guys tried so hard to make it work. but, neville... it seemed as if he just... gave up.

you would never forget the day you came home from work to your shared apartment, and heard strange noises coming from your bedroom. you went up, deep down, already knowing what the noises were. and of course, when you opened the door, your worst nightmare had became a reality. and even worse?

you were pregnant.

neville knew this too, but, he felt as if he had spent so long being “stuck” in a relationship with you, he never got the chance to meet new people. and because of that, for the sake of your child, you left. because, he had left you first, and he had done something unforgivable. something that would leave you scarred, and something that would take hold of you for years.

but, now things were different for you. you were more than content with where your life was at right now. you had an amazing job as the journalist for the daily prophet, and you were damn good at it too. it was a collective agreement that you were definitely a step up from rita skeeter.

neville couldn’t disagree more, though. not that he didn’t think you were good at your job, he always thought that you were an amazing writer. but, he had to force himself to cancel his personal subscription to the daily prophet, as the simple mention of your name on the front page, or sometimes, maybe even your picture, broke his heart to see. some from guilt, but mostly, from just missing you.

just five years later, here you were. walking through a muggle hardware store, looking at all of the houseplants that surrounded the small garden.

“mummy, look!”

you whipped your head around, and smiled when you saw your small son, chubby just like neville used to be when he was young. you had always tried to disregard the fact that he looked exactly like his father, but it was difficult to. you loved your son, with everything you had in your body, but, he was a constant reminder of all the pain that had been caused.

“very nice, nev!” you giggled, watching as your son played with a single pink flower bouquet. he grinned at you, and suddenly plucked the fresh flower off of it’s stem. you gasped, and wanted your hand at him, “neville longbottom! we don’t do that! do you want to get in trouble?!”

his face contorted into a guilty one as he made those ridiculously adorable puppy dog eyes at you, “i’m sorry, mum... i-i-i didn’t know. i was trying to pick it for you...”

you couldn’t help but to feel a little guilty as he sadly dropped the broken off flower on the floor, watching as it blew away from the huge fan that hung above the both of you.

“it’s okay, dear. but, try not to pick them from the actual stems, okay? just... look on the floor. you’ll see a bunch of free flowers everywhere.” you teased, sending him a small smile. he looked up at you, and those sad puppy dog eyes quickly sparkled with excitement as he ran away, looking around the garden for those small, long forgotten flowers.

you chuckled quietly to yourself as you watched your son, seeing how his eyes glowed from all of the plants.

yeah. he was definitely neville’s son.

you turned your body back around, attempting to continue your shopping. but, your body then collided with another, causing you to come to a complete halt.

“oh, merlin! i’m so—“ you were just about to spurt out multiple apologies, until, you looked at the figure.

there he was. tall, muscular, and a intent gaze fixated on his face as he stared at you.

“n—neville?”

he was so shocked. he couldn’t even let out a single mutter. you were right there. right in front of him. after not seeing you for so long, but thinking about you always, you were finally right here.

“y/n...” he breathed out finally, trying to not show how incredibly nervous he was.

this was the first time you two had seen each other since the day you packed all of your things, and left him standing alone at the door step that once belonged to the both of you. he could never seem to part with the apartment, the whole environment still leaving trails of you. so, of course, he still resided there during his off times.

“um—wow... shit—i’m sorry. you know... for bumping into you...” he laughed nervously, stepping away from you. you gave him a nervous chuckle as well, trying to hide the redness that was now blending within your skin.

“oh—it’s alright. i should’ve—you know... been watching where i was going...”

neville opened his mouth to respond, as he wanted to ask you so many things. but, he was interrupted by a small child running up to you, tears streaming down his face as he clutched onto your leg.

“mum...” he sniffled out, and you looked down with a concerned look on your face, “t-t-the lady yelled at me...i-i-i accidentally b-broke one of the f-f-flowers...”

neville knew those eyes. he knew that familiar stutter. he knew those tears. it was like practically looking into a mirror.

that was his son.

you looked over at neville nervously, seeing realization flashing in his green orbs. but, you bent down to neville jr, who was an absolute mess. he never took kindly to people getting onto him, especially if they were yelling.

“oh... it’s alright, nev. we have a whole garden at home that we can grow flowers in...” you reassured him, wiping his small tears. he nestled into your touch, “why don’t you go and pick out some seeds? any kind you like... i’ll get them for you.”

there was a shy smile on his face as you said that, and he looked over at the strange man that stood baffled beside you.

“okay...” he sniffled, wiping his nose, “but... who’s that?” he asked, pointing to neville.

you had never told your son about his father, and you had hoped that he never would. but, you knew the day would come. you just didn’t think that day would be today.

“an old friend, darling. now, do as i say and go find some flowers, alright?”

your son nodded, reluctantly leaving you with the tall man that he had no idea the identity of. you stood up fully awkwardly, and looked over at neville who’s face was now angry.

he watched as the boy ran off, “he doesn’t know who i am?” he asked through gritted teeth, his eyes narrowing at you.

you looked back at him, “nev—“

“no... how could you not tell him? that’s my son, y/n. you—you told me you were putting the baby in adoption... how could you lie to me? and him? why would you do that?”

you knew you owed the man an explanation, but all at the same time, he had brought this upon himself. and yeah, maybe it was fucked up that you had lied to him, but, you genuinely did believe at the time you were getting rid of the baby.

“neville... not here. please...”

“no, y/n. you owe me a goddamn explanation. i mean... this is my fucking child we’re talking about. look at him! he looks just like me!”

you looked over at the chubby boy, watching him closely as he skimmed through seeds, staring at the images on the front.

“don’t you think i know that, neville?” you whispered, “listen... we can talk about this. but, not here. and, not while he’s around...”

“no! i want to talk to him! i deserve it—goddamn it, y/n! how could you fucking do this to me?!”

“and how could you cheat on me?! after everything we went through together! you fucking left me in the dust!”

he could see the pain in your eyes. there was obviously still a lot of hurt, so much rage pent up from the whole scenario. of course you had never fully gotten over it. it was still something you thought about on a daily basis, as you had believed at one point that you would be married to neville by now.

“y/n...” neville started, stepping closer to you, “i—i never meant to hurt you...”

you stared into his eyes for a moment, trying to find some sort of other answer other than that stupid apology you had heard so many times before.

“it doesn’t matter, longbottom. i have to go. we can talk about this whole thing another time. goodbye.”

[no--envies]

Nightless City – An analysis of Wei Wuxian’s accountability

I’ve come across several takes about the bloodbath of Nightless City that don’t really sit well with me. Some people say Wei Wuxian is totally to blame, others that he’s totally blameless, and I personally disagree with both. I think that, like in many other events in the novel, what really happened is more complex.

(All the translations are by Exiled Rebels Scanlations)

First of all, the text shows us that Wei Wuxian wasn’t completely clear-headed even before going to Nightless City, which is normal considering what he was going through. His whole world had crumbled in just a few hours. Everything he’d done until that moment – the sacrifices he had made for what he believed was right – appeared to be for nothing. He ended up hurting the people most dear to him, and he couldn’t even protect those he had wanted to protect. When he could move again after the three days he spent in the cave immobilized by Wen Qing’s needle, for a while he didn’t even know what to do or where to go.

After he got down the mountain, he stood amid the bushes, catching his breath. Bent down, he propped his hands against his knees for a long while before he stood up straight again. Yet, looking at the wild grasses that covered many of the mountain paths, he didn’t know where to go.

Burial Mound—he’d just gone down from there.

Lotus Pier—he hadn’t been back in over a year.

Koi Tower? Three days had passed already. If he went now, it was likely that Wen Qing’s corpse and Wen Ning’s ashes were the only things left.

He stood blankly. Suddenly, he felt that the world had no place for him, despite how large it was. He didn’t know what to do either.

(Chapter 77)

It’s rare to see Wei Wuxian so utterly lost and miserable. What happened was too much for even someone like him – who always tends to look at the bright side of any situation – to be able to deal with it. Since he doesn’t know where else to go, he decides to go to Koi Tower to retrieve the Wen siblings’ ashes, but he doesn’t manage to do anything before he’s discovered and forced to flee. He wanders without purpose for a long time until he arrives at a city gate where he hears a group of cultivators talking about him with contempt, which triggers his anger.

The longer Wei WuXian listened, the colder his expression grew.

He should’ve understood long ago. No matter what he did, not a single good word would come out of these people’s mouths. When he won, others feared; when he lost, others rejoiced.

He was cultivating the crooked path either way, so what exactly did the years of persistence mean? What exactly were they for?

However, the colder his eyes were, the brighter the raging fire within his heart burned.

(Chapter 77)

We see him come to a very bitter realization: no matter his noble intentions and moral integrity, everyone has already made up their mind about him, he would be made into a villain no matter what he does. Before what happened at Qiongqi Path he had managed to keep a positive mindset, since he was doing fine in the Burial Mounds with the Wen remnants. It wasn’t an easy life, but they were safe, they didn’t starve and Wei Wuxian was free to focus on his research and inventions in peace, creating the Compass of Evil and the Spirit-Attraction Flag. He missed his family, but he also found another one. He had people who loved him and valued him, and whom he loved and valued in turn. All in all, he was content. He thought that as long as he didn’t actively seek trouble, the world would leave him alone. But he was wrong. Jin Zixun ambushed him accusing him of something he didn’t do, and everything spiraled down so quickly he couldn’t do anything to prevent it, until he lost control of his demonic cultivation and killed Jin Zixuan.

In this moment, Wei Wuxian feels completely alone. The Wen siblings are gone, his beloved shijie might hate him for killing her husband and the cultivation world as a whole can’t wait to besiege him. If it had been another time, he wouldn’t have beaten up those random cultivators. It’s not like it was the first time he heard awful rumors about himself. The fact that he reacts so violently here says a lot about the state of mind he’s in. Wei Wuxian is clearly looking for a way to vent his anger, so he takes it out on the cultivators who are speaking ill of him. His rage is justified: not only were they saying malicious things about him without even knowing the full story, but they were doing it cowardly behind his back. However, his reaction is somewhat disproportionate to their offense: one of them gets kicked in the face until he passes out from the pain, while another gets his legs broken for daring to speak up. Although he doesn’t kill them, he does terrorize them and in the end he leaves them there immobilized by the spirits he had summoned (if Lan Wangji hadn’t been looking for Wei Wuxian, who knows how long they would have had to wait to be freed).

After this, Wei Wuxian sees the announcement of the pledge conference and goes to Nightless City. I’ve seen people argue that he was only trying to protect the Wen remnants and that the people who were there had already pledged to kill him, so it was self-defense. But is it really the case? Personally, I don’t think what he did was self-defense. Sure, he tried to discuss first and didn’t attack until he was attacked, but defending himself and the Wen remnants wasn’t the main reason he was there in the first place.

The crowd flung curses at him, but Wei WuXian accepted all of them.

Anger was the only thing that could suppress the other feelings within his heart.

(Chapter 78)

All of his pain, desperation and guilt were too much to handle at once, so he tried to suppress them all with anger, and directed that anger at the people who hated him. Wei Wuxian didn’t go to the pledge conference to try to prevent the siege from happening (since he thought it wouldn’t change anything anyway) or to weaken the Sects’ forces. He went there to vent his anger and frustration. Wei Wuxian is not clear-headed here, as highlighted by this passage:

Wei WuXian spun around to dodge the attack and laughed, “Fine, fine. I knew since the start that we’d have to fight a real fight like this one sooner or later. You’ve always found me disagreeable no matter what. Come on!”

Hearing this, Lan WangJi’s movements paused, “Wei Ying!”

Although he shouted the words, any sane person would be able to tell that Lan WangJi’s voice was clearly shaking. However, right now, Wei WuXian had already lost his judgement. He was already half-mad, half-unconscious. All evil was being augmented by him. He felt that everyone loathed him and he loathed everyone as well. He wouldn’t be scared no matter who came at him. It wouldn’t matter no matter who came at him. It was all the same anyway.

(Chapter 78)

In this moment Wei Wuxian believes everyone hates him and there’s no use trying to convince them otherwise – there’s no use trying to reason with them in a diplomatic way because no matter what he says or does, his words will be twisted to fit the opinions of the crowd. He almost welcomes the attack because this way he can attack them back and vent all his pent-up anger. Wei Wuxian is not behaving like his usual self here. He can’t see Lan Wangji isn’t trying to hurt him because his mind is not lucid. This is why he loses control of his demonic cultivation for the second time, injuring Jiang Yanli.

His shijie is the only one who manages to calm him down a little despite his chaotic state of mind. He manages to stop the corpses from attacking everyone and waits for her to tell him what she thinks of him, if she forgives him or not. However, she dies to save his life before being able to say anything, and the whole situation becomes simply too much for him to bear. All of his emotions crush him at once, so in his already half-unconscious state he activates the Tiger Seal, effectively erasing any chance he might have had to redeem himself in the eyes of society.

The point of this analysis isn’t to blame or absolve Wei Wuxian. It’s very easy to empathize with his anguish in these scenes. What he was going through was incredibly stressful and the root cause (the ambush at Qiongqi Path) wasn’t his fault. Even Lan Wangji says he can neither condemn nor justify his actions, but he’s willing to face all the consequences with him anyway.

I told [Wangji] when I went to see him, Young Master Wei had already made a grave mistake, there was no use augmenting it. But he said… that he could not say with certainty whether what you did was right or wrong, but no matter what, he was willing to be responsible for all of the consequences alongside you.

(Chapter 99)

Wei Wuxian isn’t blameless for what happened at Nightless City. I don’t think he’s proud of what he did and all the people he killed, either. The fact that he destroyed the Tiger Seal after returning to the Burial Mounds is quite telling. He definitely didn’t act in the most rational and clear-headed way, which resulted in a lot of people – including his shijie – to lose their lives, but the point of all this is that Wei Wuxian is human. He makes mistakes because no one is infallible, no matter how heroic, selfless and virtuous. Not even he can be totally immune to all the criticism and accusasions, even though he often acts like he is. Wei Wuxian is a fundamentally positive person, so most of the time he can ignore the bad things that happen to him and focus on the good, but this time his situation was simply too extreme for anyone to be able to stand it.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 12/2021) - Exiting the Vault

After Sam finally checks the cell and discovers that Tommy is alive, Tommy exits Pandora’s Vault at last. Everyone on the server starts coming to terms with Tommy’s return, while both Tommy and Ranboo are set on a new goal:

To kill Dream for good.

---

VOD LINKS:

Foolish

Tubbo

Fundy

Tommy

Jack Manifold

Ranboo

Eret

---

- Tommy is in prison. Still there.

Dream: “I’m starving! Can you give me that? Can I have that?”

- Tommy throws him a potato.

Tommy: “I only have one.”

Dream: “Oh, well you can have it then.”

- Tommy eats some potatoes.

Tommy: “I’ve been meaning to ask you. Why do you look like that?”

Dream: “It’s a mask.”

- They talk about Dream face-revealing and Tommy concludes that it must be sewn onto his face.

Dream: “Sam has not visited us in like a week! He hates me!”

- Tommy throws him the last of his potatoes. There’s no way of knowing how long time’s passed in the cell.

Tommy: “I’m still...I can’t believe you did that.”

Dream: “You were the one pushing me to do it! You were basically begging me to!”

- Tommy throws an item frame, a book and two potatoes into the lava.

- He boasts that he hasn’t cried 

- Tommy sees Sam’s nametag by the lava and rushes over. Sam tells Tommy to run to the corner and Tommy gets out via damage pot. Tommy confronts Sam about letting him die. Sam is just shocked to see him alive.

- Tommy flicks the switches to let the lava down, wanting to look at Dream. He says a last “fuck you��� and walks after Sam to get out.

Tommy: “Suck it, green boy.”

- Tommy tells Sam off for failing at his job again, as they go through the security measures.

Tommy: “Sam, you kept me in this prison for thirty-two days!”

Sam: “Tommy, I didn’t even know you were here -- I haven’t even gone to feed him!”

- He tells Sam that Dream is going to escape.

Tommy: “You are now the most powerful man on this server -- not Dream, you are, ‘cause you withhold him! And you can’t even stop him from killing me! You’re not qualified to run this prison, Sam.But that’s beyond the point, alright? Look at me -- Dream is going to escape, he told me that he’s planning on escaping, alright? Technoblade owes him a favor, Technoblade owes him a favor -- I’ve seen everything!”

- Tommy tells Sam that he can’t have any visitors ever. He tells Sam about the revive book, that that’s how he’s back.

- Tommy exits through the Nether portal. The first thing he sees when he gets out is the giant penis statue.

- He starts walking down the path and sees Tubbo working on Bee ‘n’ Boo. Tubbo sees him and runs away initially. He doesn’t believe Tommy is real.

- Tommy points out the bench where they listened to music after defeating Dream -- but they didn’t defeat Dream, and now they need to kill him and also probably Technoblade.

- Tubbo tells Tommy about the inn and also getting married.

- Next, Tommy speaks with Sam Nook and sees Jack Manifold at the desk. Jack is outraged.

Jack: “No, you’re dead, you’re dead! You died, I grieved for you! You’re not back! No one comes back, I mean -- oh -- MOST people don’t come back!”

Tommy: “No I’m alright. Anyway, um --”

- Jack is furious. He tells Tommy he’s been trying to kill him for two months.

Jack: “That’s the problem. All the time, you belittle me, you dismiss me, you drop me in a pool of lava, I’m the only person who tried to visit you when you were in exile, and you forget me! Like I’m nothing! And when I try and finally get my own back, I launch NUKES at you and you didn’t even care!”

- Tommy talks about Moana. Then they argue some more.

Tommy: “Jack, what you’re doing here is creating a villain for yourself, alright? And when I was gone, you didn’t have that. You’re so glad I’m back, you need to stop -- you’re just creating a villain out of nowhere, alright?”

- Tommy tells Jack he’s changed, he’s seen things in death, he’s trying to hold himself together like it’s still the old him, but he’s struggling.

- Jack draws his axe. Tommy tells him to put it away.

Jack: “You died and you think you’re all that, you think you learned everything. I died! We died! I died because of you!”

- Tommy leaves the hotel, telling Jack he can keep the hotel for now while he deals with bigger issues.

Jack: “This isn’t the end.”

Tommy: “It probably is.”

- Tommy sees Tubbo watching him from on top of the McPuffy’s.

Tommy: “He’s staring at me like I’m not even real. And he’s got a new best friend -- a new husband!”

- He sees all the statues by his house. Connor is inside, freaked out to see him. 

- Tommy tells Connor to move out again, and Connor gives him his diary -- Connor misses Schlatt, wants to solve mortality, knows Karl’s secret (thinks he should see a doctor) and missed Tommy when he died.

- Tommy tells Connor what he went through. Connor says they need prison reform. Tommy tells Connor that Sam isn’t fit to run the prison, and Connor moves back into Ninja’s house. 

- He takes a quick look at L’manhole.

Tommy: “I fuckin’ miss when times were simpler, and all I had to worry about was defeating one big green guy. And all I had to do was follow someone else’s lead. And now it looks like I’m gonna have to follow my own lead. So the server seems to have changed a lot.”

- As he walks down the stairs, Antfrost stares at him and backs away. Tommy wonders why no one’s treating him normally.

- He finds Ranboo by the ice cream shop, Tubbo coming along as well. Ranboo asks about what happened -- did Sam lie? Tommy doesn’t want to talk about dying.

- Tommy asks if Tubbo is Ranboo’s best friends. Ranboo says he’s one of them and hands Tommy an allium. Tommy burns it.

- Tommy continues along the path and notices the Therapuffy office. He drops a book in the chest. He also notices the Red Banquet posters.

- Tommy feels like even though he’s back, he’s not. People celebrated his death.

Tommy: “This server was -- this server wasn’t about this, it was about me and Tubbo fighting Dream! I’m still dead to most of these people...They’re looking at me like I’m not even alive.”

- He finds Quackity by the Community House. Quackity thinks it must be some sort of sick joke. Tommy reminds him of the heists they used to do to convince him that it’s actually him.

- Tommy tells Quackity that Dream used the revive book. Quackity is overjoyed at his return.

- Tommy leaves and goes up towards the Nether portal. He decides that he needs to kill Dream, and soon.

- Jack is upset that Tommy came back. It took him dying for Jack to remember Tommy as a friend again, but when he came back, it all came flooding back.

“But when he came back today, he said a couple things that have stuck with me. The main one being...a simple word. He turned to me, looked me dead in the eyes, and he went ‘anyways.’ Anyways.”

- Jack decides he’s done with starting again. 

“But the day he died, the day he was killed by Dream was not the day I should’ve grieved. I lost my friend a long, long time ago...I lost my friend a long time ago, the day he decided those discs were more important than any of us. The day he got rid of L’manburg, the day he sacrificed absolutely everything to take back those discs! That’s the day I lost my friend.”

“Him coming back today doesn’t bring back my friend. It doesn’t fill the empty void I felt when he died. All it has done is given me a new purpose.”

- Jack decides he needs to kill Tommy. His friend died a long time ago. He talks about how even when Dream is locked away, Tommy isn’t satisfied and is still going after him.

- Jack came back because he had a purpose. And that purpose was to take Tommy out.

“I’m glad I grieved my friend, and I’m still sad and hurt that he’s gone. But my friend didn’t come back. Dream didn’t bring back my friend with that book, he brought back a monster.”

- Dream brought Tommy back out of cowardice, fearing the server without him. Jack is better than Dream. 

- Jack heads into the underground city and speaks with Niki. Jack tells her Tommy’s alive again. Niki isn’t sure she wants Tommy dead anymore.

- They start talking about government and anarchy. Niki says her underground city isn’t a government, while Jack disagrees with anarchy. 

- Niki says she’s started baking again. She says she’ll give it time to think about it, whether to help Jack. In the meantime, he’s free to stay in the city.

- Jack returns to his hotel, still upset.

- He makes his way to the prison, thinking. Tommy coming back took away the satisfaction of him being Jack’s villain. Jack came back because he had one goal, one purpose, and that was to kill Tommy. Why not take the same from him?

- He tries to enter the prison portal but it doesn’t work. Jack is infuriated and walks to Tommy’s summer home, where he encounters Quackity.

- Quackity wants him to leave the property. He hid some things there a while back that he doesn’t want people finding. 

- They talk about Tommy being alive again. Quackity is happy, but wants to know what Jack’s plan is regarding their business.

Quackity: “Tommy is a complex business partner, and I have to come to terms with that fact.”

- Quackity points out it seems that Jack lack’s power over this hotel business venture. Jack tells him Tommy said he could have it for now. Quackity says he’s made great progress on his business, and they’ll continue to talk later. He leaves.

- Foolish says he looks poor and hands him two diamond blocks.

- Jack says he needs funds anyway and has an idea...what if he became a prison guard?

- He wonders how to go about it. Who would suggest him?

- Jack looks at the ruins of Ze Haus. He’ll stick to the motto:

Be Worse.

- Ranboo starts off in his house, his Memory Book open

“He’s alive!”

“He’s alive?”

- Ranboo thinks to himself. It’s incredible, but…was he even dead to begin with? Did Sam lie? It doesn’t make sense. Once something is dead, it’s dead, right?

- Tubbo’s not handling it well, but he’ll come around eventually. But Tommy’s alive now, that’s awesome! That’s a good thing…right?

- Ranboo isn’t upset at him for burning the flower. If someone died and came back and everyone still thought they were dead, of course they’d be hesitant to things.

- He goes back to the confusion about death. People can be revived.

“And if death isn’t permanent, then people are gonna be living a lot differently.”

“If death isn’t permanent…if death isn’t permanent, then nothing is. Then that means that…anyone can just die, decide ‘no,’ and just come back. And…if…people live with no fear, then they’ll be put through so much pain.”

- Tubbo was so ready to fight the Egg despite being on one life. Imagine if he found out that he could die and come back if he got hurt.

- Ranboo heads through the Nether to the portal to…Dream’s mountain vault

“What is this place?”

“I’ve been here before?”

“Why am I here?”

“…Step away from him, Dream.”

“Everything everyone’s ever loved is right here. If I can control that, I can control the server.”

“Dream was…he was trapped in here when we all came through. Wait, I’m — you can’t kill him because he’s the only one who can bring Wilbur back…what? Dream could…Dream could bring people back?”

“Was I here?”

He moves towards the elevator. “I walked over there.”

“The Enderwalk. That entire time. And they all came to save him…that entire time.”

“You should’ve paid him more.”

“The only reason they kept Dream alive was because he could revive…people. Dream has the power…to…bring people back. No matter…when…who…where…”

“He needs to go, or else…death won’t be permanent, and then, if we get rid of someone because they’ve been causing problems this entire time…then we can never get rid of the villains in this story. We can bring back the villains in the story, when they were supposed to be written out.”

“He needs to go.”

- Ranboo leaves. 

“We should be able to get rid of the villains, even if it means not being able to keep the good guys.”

- There’s a reason he was able to pick up blocks slowly throughout time. Things start to manifest. There’s something going on with the Enderwalk. The Enderwalk isn’t a different version of Ranboo, it’s still Ranboo, it’s just more…wild

- Ranboo heads to Snowchester and sees Michael.

“Cause I don’t wanna hurt him…so I gotta make sure I get rid of any possibility.”

- Ranboo is scared of doing something that makes things worse.

“I don’t hurt people. That’s not what I do, I have to keep it that way. However…”

He looks towards the prison. 

“There is one exception.”

“Do I even have to be careful? I mean, I still have my three lives. I mean…I’m one of the most safe people on this server. But…I don’t even have to be. I can afford to be reckless.”

- Ranboo writes in his book.

“He’s alive. But hopefully soon Dream won’t be.”

- Ranboo goes into his house. He surveys his riches in the vault. He has a lot of supplies, but he’s not ready to do this yet.

“It’s time to train.”

- Puffy finds Tommy’s book in her Therapuffy office and reads it. Does this mean he’s alive?

- Puffy watches the VOD and decides she would lose all her canon lives just to escape the possibility of solitaire.

- Puffy is happy that Tommy is alive. But how, and why? Why would Dream resurrect Tommy?

She wonders if there was a tiny part of Dream that cared, or if that’s just the duckling perspective talking.

- She goes back to her office and writes a response letter, going to leave it in a chest at Tommy’s house.

What Tommy needs right now, she says, is support.

[strawberrynamjoon]

wine bottles & pizza boxes

– genre: delivery boy!namjoon & lovesick!reader

– word count: 17k

– summary: while desperately trying to get over your heartbreak the cute new delivery boy made it to his personal mission to make you smile whenever you were drunk and lonely. luckily, your mutual friend hoseok was more than willing to set the two of you up.

or: namjoon fell in love with you, no matter if you had a pretty dress on or a wine bottle in your hand and a puzzle piece in your hair.

– warnings: reader gets drunk a lot and is kinda an emotional mess lol, humour and crack, sope being couple of the year, whipped namjoon, kinda slow burn

– note: i finally finished this wip of mine and i hope you guys like it as much as i do. like always, this is not proofread yet, i’ll get to it soon! <3

If anyone were to see you right now, you were sure they would think you’re a complete mess, almost pathetic even and, to be quite honest, they wouldn't be wrong. 

The way you were spread out on your couch, not having moved for hours, in your oversized hoodie and sweatpants, sipping the cheapest wine you could find straight out of the bottle while rewatching Gilmore Girls for the hundredth time truly wasn’t your proudest moment. 

But you felt hurt and you convinced yourself that bathing in some self-pity was the only possible solution for you to get over this stupid, aching heartbreak. If any of your friends would see you like this they would surely disagree with your chosen method but you couldn’t care less. They say time heals all the wounds but for now, wine would have to do the job.

Checking your phone for how much longer your pizza will take to arrive, you noticed a text from your best friend, once again begging you to pay attention to him.

[ Yoongi: It’s been a month since he ghosted you, stop being a crybaby and come to Guk’s party tonight. I’ll even pick you up. ]

A mocking scoff escaped your lips, rolling your eyes way back into your skull. As much as you loved him, you just felt the need to be dramatic in peace – and knowing Yoongi he would never let that happen.

Deciding to leave him on read for now, you heard the doorbell ring and the excitement rushing over you was almost embarrassing, considering the fact that your pizza arriving probably would be the highlight of your whole week.

Instantly regretting checking yourself in the mirror when you realized just how terrible you looked like you tried not to think about it too much, Antonio wouldn’t care either way. You looked disgusting in the truest definition of the word – your messy bun was an actual mess, not in the cute Instagram-model-kinda-way, no. There were big strands of hair falling out of it in the back and it floppily laid on the side of your head instead of the top. Your face was swollen from the crying and the alcohol and there were three fat, red pimples growing on your cheeks.

Luckily, you and Antonio, your standard delivery guy, by now were over having to impress each other. He has seen you in that state more often than your actual friends at this point and he didn’t have to act all nice in front of you anymore, your nagging banter the only social interactions you sometimes had for weeks. Thinking about it for a second it was almost pitiful that your closest friend was a man in his mid fifties who was supplying you with greasy food but you didn’t care, at least Antonio would never ghost you out of nowhere.

More relationships should be like yours and Antonios: Both of you did not annoy the other one, just exchanged a polite smile and some snarky comments every now and then and that was it.

Opening the door, you felt a genuine smile on your face, excited for the pizza you were about to eat, “Antonio, I was never happier to see –”

But before you could end your sentence you were surprised by a new face, a more handsome and younger face than Antonio’s wide and round face and grey hair. The young man in front of you had glowing, tan skin, plump lips and was not only tall but also equally broad. 

Looking at such a handsome man your own age, you became awfully aware of how you looked right now, feeling terribly hideous.

“You’re not Antonio,” the disappointment in your voice was hard to go miss.

The man in front of you started to chuckle and you were met with two deep and extraordinary cute dimples that made him look much nicer. Before you saw them he seemed kind of intimidating but as soon as he smiled there was not a single intimidating thing left about him.

“Believe it or not, I’m very well aware of that,” his deep voice sent shivers down your spine, “I’m Namjoon. And I’m very sorry to disappoint you, but at least I still have the pizza you ordered.”

He pointed to the pizza box on the ground and you just wanted him to leave as soon as possible, not wanting him to have to look at the misery you were for any second longer.

“Well, you’re just as good as Antonio then,” you stated, flashing him a bright smile.

“If that’s all it takes to make you happy your boyfriend must be living a happy life,” he mumbled under his breath without looking at you as he got the pizza box out of his carrier. His standards must be very low if he was flirting with you even in your current state but at least he managed to boost your self esteem a little bit.

You already pictured the little scenarios coming into your mind with the man you just met a few seconds ago and you hated yourself for how easy it is for you to fall in love with a complete stranger. But if all it took to distract yourself from the heartbreak you were going through was a handsome pizza delivery guy you would most definitely take that.

Handing you the box he gave you yet another one of those dimpled smiles and you wished you could take a picture of it, “I hope you can still enjoy it even if Antonio is gone now.”

Now you furrowed your eyebrows, “What do you mean he’s gone? Like, forever? I assumed he just has a day off.”

“Oh no, he actually got fired,” he answered with a shrug. 

“Wow first I got ghosted and now Antonio left me too, I thought at least he would stay,” a playful pout formed on your lips.

The delivery boy, or Namjoon as he introduced himself to you, seemed to be amused by your dramatic acting, joining in immediately, “He has a wife and children. You should’ve known better than to get attached.”

With a smile on your lips, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, “I know but he always brought me free sauce even though I didn’t order it and I just fell in love with his kind actions.”

“That’s absolutely against the policy,” Namjoon stated amused, “and probably the reason he got fired.”

The smile was still sitting on your lips as you nodded to him, ready to go back inside, “See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Namjoon asked with a confused expression on his face, wondering what exactly would happen tomorrow.

“Yes, tomorrow,” you simply stated without any further explanation as you shut your door and walked back to the living room.

You immediately smiled as you replayed the previous encounter in your head. He didn’t even really flirt with you but just the fact that a good looking man stood in front of your door was enough to make you smitten at this point. God, Yoongi was right, you truly were lonely.

Just as you were thinking of the devil your phone vibrated, his name on the screen as he was calling you.

“Whats up? You’re crying or what?” you heard your closest friend on the other line of the phone. To others, the way you and Yoongi talked to each other might seem a bit harsh or cold but in reality, you were as close as two people could be even though none of you would ever admit it out loud.

“I fell in love,” you started and immediately got interrupted.

“I already pity the new man. Who is he?” Yoongi asked, the surroundings loud and you were sure he was on the way to a party.

“You’ll only make fun of me if I tell you,” you pouted, knowing the teasing will never stop if you tell your best friend about your newest crush.

“Me? Making fun of you? Never!” the sarcasm in his voice was thick and you could hear his stupid grin through the phone.

“It’s the delivery guy,” you tried to sound as unbothered as possible but because Yoongi knew you like the back of his hand it was pointless.

“(Y/n) –” he started, taking in a deep breath, “I know you’re lonely but Antonio? Isn’t that a bit extreme?”

You laughed, realizing that maybe you should’ve stated your words differently, “Antonio got replaced by a handsome, tall guy. don’t worry, I am not that desperate yet.”

“What do you mean Antonio got replaced? Does this mean we actually have to buy the dip now whenever we order?” Yoongi seemed to be genuinely upset about the fact that he might pay a buck more from now on.

“I’m afraid we have to but at least we can look at a cute buy and talk about how cute he is whenever we do order,” you joked.

“I don’t think we should do that in front of Hoseok, he’s crazy and might kill the delivery guy if he hears me talking about a cute guy,” Yoongi chuckled like he always did when he talked about Hoseok and you rolled your eyes, those goddamn couples all around you making you feel awfully single, “Anyway, we’re celebrating at our place on saturday, you have to come. No excuses accepted, I don’t care if you cry in the bathroom because you’re a sad bitch, you’re still coming.”

“Great, I’ll hate it,” you let out a sigh before hanging up.

Despite threatening your best friend that you’d rather kill yourself than attend a party in your current emotional state, you somehow still found yourself at Hoseok’s and Yoongi’s dorm, getting drunk at their stupid party. You should have known better, in the end he always annoys you until you gave in, it would’ve spared you a lot of discussions.

“Hey Hoseok,” you greeted tonight’s host and good friend with a hug and he gave you a low whistle as he saw you all dressed up. Hoseok was, next to Yoongi, one of the people you could always depend on. When Yoongi introduced his boyfriend to you many years ago you first weren’t sure if their relationship had a real chance since Hoseok seemed to be the complete opposite of Yoongi but by now it was almost impossible to imagine one without the other.

“I didn’t think that I would see you here,” he gave you an appreciating and welcoming smile and you immediately felt at home – Hoseok had this power, always making you feel comfortable, “We missed you. Yoongi wouldn’t admit it, but he did too.”

And so did you – you were aware that ghosting the majority of your friends wasn’t the nicest thing you could’ve done but you were feeling blue, not wanting to talk to anyone else than your neighbor’s cat and the moon.

A small apologetic pout formed on your lips, “Missed you too. I promise I’ll come around more often again.”

On your way to the living room, you studied the people around you – most of them you knew but a few of them you never saw before. It still amazes you how, even after several years of being friends, you still didn’t know all of Hoseok’s friends. This man was like a puppy on the loose, making friends and fans everywhere he’d go.

A few people were busy playing beer pong, Jeongguk and Taehyung had the most concentrated expression you had ever seen on their faces and you wished they would’ve taken your many group projects back in college as serious as this match. Another few familiar faces were chatting and smoking in the kitchen, all of them sitting on the ground. Yoongi sat right in front of the fridge that was probably filled with nothing but a few beers, knowing that’s the typical lifestyle Yoongi and Hoseok had going on.

One could argue that after graduating and finding real jobs their need to party every weekend would vanish but no, they still were the exact same.

You felt a bit lost, not knowing where to go. As you arrived the party was already in full swing, everyone had their spot and you felt almost left out for a second, wondering who you should hold onto for the night.

After grabbing a bottle of cheap champagne from the kitchen, you decided to check out the living room – much to your luck, you found an empty space between Hoseok and Jimin on the couch, gladly getting comfortable between the two friends who were currently discussing which Team would win.

“It’ll be Jeongguk’s for sure,” you threw your thoughts into the conversation, “Come on, it’s Jeongguk. He never loses, we all know that.”

Jimin nodded his head eagerly, agreeing with you, “That’s what I am saying too! It’s two versus one now.”

Hoseok, who didn’t even look at you because he was so invested in watching Taehyung’s every move shook his head, “Tae trained a lot and got so good at it. I think he might stand a chance.”

Just as you clinked your cups with Jimin, ready to get tipsy, Jeongguk noticed you and his smile went wide, reaching his eyes.

“(Y/N),” he shouted over the music from the corner of the living room, “Join us. We’re missing one team member anyways.”

“I hate beer,” you yelled back, “I’d rather die than drink this cold piss.”

He rolled his eyes, not taking a no as an answer. “I’ll drink it for you, I just need someone who actually can aim, unlike this idiot here,” his voice was frustrated while pointing to Seokjn.

“Respect your elders,” Seokjin started scolding as he was aiming to throw the ball in his hand - and then, just like expected, he missed the cup completely.

“See, please, you have to save us,” Jeongguk came over to you, extending his hand to help you up from the couch and you decided to join him before he and Seokjin would start fighting. It’s been quite some time since you played beer pong with your friends but back then, you always did quite a decent job at it.

Before it was your turn, Jeongguk and Taehyung both scored another goal, gulping down their cups within seconds. There were four full cups of beer left in front of you and you prayed that you wouldn’t have to drink one of them. Why couldn’t they play this stupid game with something that actually tasted alright?

Glancing up, ready to shoot your shot your breath stopped for a second as you saw your opponent – Taehyung just recruited a new member for his team from the kitchen because he claimed that if Jeongguk could add a player midgame so could he. But you didn’t expect to be the new member of his team someone you’ve seen before, in a different situation.

“Pizza girl,” Namjoon exclaimed amused, his dimples seemed to be even deeper than you remembered them and he seemed to be pretty tipsy already judging by his pronunciation, “you look different.”

His relaxed aura immediately made you relax too, not even questioning for a second as to where in the world he knew Yoongi and/or Hoseok from. You did make a mental note to check with your friends about that later though.

“The power of make-up and a shower,” you shrug while throwing your ball and – the ball landed right inside of it, Namjoon chuckling as he gave you a thumbs up.

Jeongguk gave you a high five and ruffled your hair a bit, something he always did when he got drunk. Quite funny to compare this Jeongguk with the shy boy you met in the beginning of college but you were happy that he opened up to all of your friends and became a part of your group.

“Where do you know each other from?” Taehyung asked Namjoon, curiousity sparkling in his eyes.

“He stole Antonio’s job,” you sighed dramatically before Namjoon could answer, still not over your favorite delivery man being gone forever.

Taehyung playfully shook his head in disappointment, “You stole his job? not cool, man. Antonio was like our hero in bad, hungry times.”

“Always made sure we’re not starving,” Jeongguk joined the conversation.

“Also, he was kind of sexy, not going to lie,” Jimin joked from the couch, making you laugh a bit and Hoseok gag.

Namjoon threw his hands into the air as if he’s giving up a fight he didn’t even participate in. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he sounded defeated, playing along with your shenanigans, “I understand I’ll never be him but I’m trying my best.”

Just in that moment Yoongi walked into the living room. His arm wrapping around your shoulder, the unexpected touch instantly letting you know that he was drunk because otherwise, he wouldn’t put his arm around you. Not that you minded, it was just something unusual for Yoongi.

“What’s going on here?” he asked, confusion written all over his face, “Who is Namjoon trying to compete with?”

“Apparently he took over Antonio's job,” Hoseok informed his boyfriend amused, “And now we’re mourning over the loss of our beloved Antonio.”

Yoongi knew that Namjoon just started a new job as a delivery guy and he also heard that Antonio got fired before, wondering where he knew that from. As he studied your face, you could see his brain working, putting one and one together.

He knew about Antonio from you. The memory of your conversation came back to his slightly intoxicated mind – you told him about Antonio being fired, but more importantly, you told him about your newest addition to the many men that you crushed on. No one else than the man who replaced Antonio. Which also meant, no one else than Namjoon.

His eyes widened and stared a hole into your soul. After being friends for so many years you two mastered the art of communicating with nothing but glances and his current face was asking you if you were actually talking about his friend on the phone a few days ago.

As you wondered where Yoongi knew that guy from and how in the world you never met him before, not even heard his name, you gave him a small, embarrassed nod followed by a slightly pleading glance back, begging him not to tell anyone.

You could tell he was trying not to burst out into laughter at the situation – of course, out of all the people in the world it had to be someone he knew. But at least he gave you an approving smile afterwards, almost as if to give you his blessing, something very rare. Most of the time Yoongi wasn’t a big fan of your crushes, not only because he knew you fell in love with a different stranger every other week but also because, in his opinion, you had a terrible taste when it came to men.

“Guys, (y/n) and Yoongi are doing their weird talking without talking thing again,” Jeongguk’s voice almost sounded annoyed, scrunching his nose a bit.

For a second you didn’t realize the tall figure that came over to you and Yoongi, his hands buried in the kangaroo pocket of his grey oversized hoodie in which you’d look very adorable, just saying.

Namjoon startled you a bit and you tried not to choke on your own spit as you noticed him.

“(Y/N), huh? Nice to meet you again, officially this time,” he gave you a soft smile and you felt pathetic for wanting to stare at him smiling forever, wondering how many girls were in love with him you bet he could have almost every girl looking like that.

Flashing him a cheeky smile, you nodded, “Nice to meet you too again, officially. I had no idea you know my friends.”

Hoseok stood up from the couch and interrupted the two of you, teasing you a bit, “Better get used to her. She doesn’t know how to cook, you’ll see her daily from now on.”

Scoffing, Yoongi shook his head, “Honestly, Namjoon might be an even worse cook than she is.”

Namjoon chuckled and in your mind you already knew once you were drunk enough and gathered enough confidence you had to poke your fingers in them.

“I have your number on speed dial,” you joked, a grin on your face.

“Living the unhealthy lifestyle I see,” Namjoon answered amused, “I can identify myself with that.”

Before you could continue talking to Namjoon, Jeongguk grew impatient beside you. He almost pouted while he dragged you back to the table, “We have a match to win, get your head in the game.”

And about twenty minutes later, you, Seokjin and Jeongguk were loudly celebrating victory with high-fives and hugs while Taehyung’s team was mourning over their loss.

“Next round!” Jeongguk annouced solemnly, “That is if you can handle another loss, Taehyung?”

Taehyung scoffed between his laughter, “I’ll crush you, Jeon Jeongguk, you just wait.”

“Your team has no chance against us,” Jeongguk laughed while refilling the empty cups with beer.

“You have to do without (y/n) though,” Hoseok announced from his space from the couch, “We have to snatch her away for a bit.”

Apologizing to a grumpy Jeongguk, you made your way to your two favorite people in the world, sitting down right beside Yoongi and Hoseok.

The shit-eating grin on both of their faces already gave them away and you knew exactly why they wanted to talk to you. Hoseok handed you a drink and you took it, knowing that you needed a bit more alcohol in your system for the upcoming teasing.

“So, you have your eyes on Namjoon I heard,” Hoseok giggled joyfully.

Glaring at Yoongi, you rolled your eyes, “I wonder who told you about that.”

Yoongi shrugged, with the same grin plastered on his face, “He’s a good guy, I know it doesn’t matter because you’re emotionally unable to have a real relationship but I would still support it.”

Hoseok hit Yoongi’s chest lightly, almost as if he was telling him not to be too mean to you even though everyone knew that you’d never talk without thick sarcasm to each other. Turning back to you, he raised his eyebrow before proposing, “I could easily set you up. I already have a plan in my head.”

You shook your head heavily, a short laugh escaping from you, “No, don’t worry. I don’t even know him, let me talk to him in peace first. I might come back to it though.”

Hoseok was known to be the matchmaker of your group – by now he must have tried to set up almost everyone of his friends with a pretty good success rate. But you prefered to take things into your own hands and he always respected that.

“So, are you over Jay?” Yoongi asked in a careful and caring tone, knowing it was still a sensitive topic.

And for a second the question caught you off guard. You weren’t over him yet, no, but you were at least wanting to get over it. That was at least something, right? 

“Not really yet,” letting out a deep sigh, you pressed your lips together a bit, “I’m working on it I guess.”

His eyes narrowed a bit as he was trying to figure out how you actually were doing, “And with that you mean you’re actually working on it or do you mean you’re getting drunk and eat too much junk food all the time?”

Despite you being reminded about your heartbreak you managed to crack a smile, “I don’t see any difference in those methods.”

“Namjoon,” before Yoongi could scold you, Hoseok suddenly started yelling, “Come over here for a second, will you?”

Panicking, your eyes widened, “What in the world do you think you’re doing?”

He gave you an amused glance, “God’s work.”

And within seconds, Namjoon was standing right in front of you, “Hi guys, what’s up?”

Hoseok gestured for him to sit down next to you on the small space left on the couch and he did as he was told, “Since you’re our pizza expert from now on we need you to help us resolve a burning question we have been discussing about for forever.”

Laughing, Namjoon’s attention was fully diverted to the three of you, “I wouldn’t call myself a pizza expert but I hope I can mediate.”

You rubbed your forehead, knowing exactly what Hoseok was on about, “Hoseok, don’t make him go through –“

He shushed you lovingly before you could finish, “Our little (y/n) right here claims that pineapple pizza is ordered as often as the classics just like peperoni pizza or ham pizza. And I say that’s bullshit. Pineapple pizza is not as popular as the classics, right?”

“To my defence,” you started, turning to Namjoon to tell him your point of view, “I never said that it deserves to be a classic. But I do believe that there’s a reason for the whole pineapple on pizza discussion and I think that reason is that a lot more people than you’d think actually enjoy it and they started fighting for pineapple on pizza rights.”

Yoongi was rubbing his temple in frustration, butting in, “They have fighting about this for two years now. Two whole years

Namjoon cackled at the heated discussion in front of him, before trying to put on a serious face, “Okay, I think I am the answer to your question. I definitely deliver as many pineapple pizzas as I deliver peperoni or ham pizzas. The only one that beats those three is a good old margherita.”

“HA! I told you so,” you teased Hoseok whose mouth stood wide open at the betrayal of his friend, “When will you learn that I am always right?”

Standing up, Hoseok chuckled while he shook his head in disbelief, “If you’d excuse me, I need a stronger drink to deal with this information.”

“You’re just a bad loser,” you yelled after him, celebrating your victory once again.

“Now I have to deal with his whiny ass, thank you very much,” Yoongi chuckled half-jokingly, half serious, “Good job, Namjoon. I better go after him.”

“I didn’t know that it was such a sensitive topic,” Namjoon laughed, almost feeling bad. You couldn’t help but notice how close he was sitting to you still. Yoongi and Hoseok for sure know how to set someone up even though you told them not to get involved, “Funny to see that Hobi is still bad at losing.”

“Hobi?” you asked curious, “I never heard someone calling him that before. Where does that come from?”

Namjoon was taking a sip of his drink before his eyes widened a bit, “I forgot that people don’t use that nickname for him anymore. We used to call him Hobi in middle school.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you’re a high school friend of his,” your face brightened, “Tell me what he was like in high school. I bet he was a handful.”

The boy beside you scrunched his face for a second and you made sure to save as much as you could to your mind, “He was just as happy and bright as today. We used to be super close but I left home when we went to college and yeah, now after graduating, I came back home.”

“Welcome back then,” you threw him a warm smile before holding up your cup, “Cheers to a new friend in the group.”

Both of you took a sip of your drink before Namjoon got a bit more comfortable on the couch, his back now resting against the pillows behind him and naturally manspreading a bit, enough to make you go insane inside.

Mirroring his actions, you leaned back too, tilting your body a bit towards his, body language making sure that no one got the idea to interrupt your conversation.

“How do you know Hobi?” Namjoon asked with curiousity in his eyes. It might be a thing he does with everyone but his attention seemed to be laying completely on you as you were talking, holding eye contact constantly.

“Yoongi and I have been best friends since our childhood and one day he introduced me to Hoseok with the words ‘This is my boyfriend. Oh, and also I’m bisexual’, I will never forget that,” you laughed, “Ever since then Hoseok and I became friends. He’s too good for Yoongi if you ask me.”

Namjoon seemed to be interested in whatever you were saying, even though you didn’t really say anything interesting. The two of you were talking about everything, your college degrees, he told you he is working as a delivery guy for now to take a break and next year he’ll start to work, you talked about the town and the people attending the party – it was easy talking to him but that might have been thanks to the alcohol.

The rest of the night was rather calm much to your liking, you spent some more time with Hoseok, Yoongi and Namjoon before you and Jeongguk decided to go home together because you lived in the same apartment complex.

You couldn’t help but think of Namjoon’s kind eyes all the way home, almost not listening to Jeongguk rambling about the boy was into (he wouldn’t say his name but all of your friends knew he was talking about Taehyung) because your mind was full of Hoseok’s best friend from high school.

Yoongi said that lately, you’ve been drinking alone a bit too often and you knew he was right – so once again, you were sitting on your couch but tonight, you didn’t feel half as sad as usually. The prosecco you were drinking made you feel giddy as you actually took care of yourself for once instead of crying your eyes out.

You almost felt good with the face mask sitting on your face for way longer than was recommended, your hair up in curlers as you were wearing your favorite pajama. The bedsheets you stole from your bedroom to cover you on the couch were freshly changed, your favorite playlist was blasting from the speakers and while cleaning earlier you found an old puzzle you were currently trying to finish.

And, on top of that, your favorite pizza was on its way, brought to you by no one else than the man that could possibly be the cure for your heartbreak.

You were surprised that you were in such a good mood. There were two possibilities: Either you were slowly going insane or you actually were getting better. Fingers crossed it was the second one.

As you were waiting for the pizza to arrive you finished the whole bottle of prosecco and you could feel the alcohol running through your veins when you got up after the door rang.

Taking step after step slowly, afraid you’d fall, you giggled to yourself. The way you were walking looked ridiculous, enough to make your drunk self laugh.

Opening the door, your smile grew as wide as it could when you saw Namjoon in front of you, his expression mirroring your own.

“Happy to see me?” he asked you, arching an eyebrow.

Nodding, you felt a hiccup coming up your throat, almost embarrassed when it came out but Namjoon’s chuckle told you that he found it rather cute.

“You always make my days better,” you sing-sang happily.

He was clearly amused by the state you were in, getting out the pizza for you, “Are you sure it’s me who makes them better or is it only the cause of my visits?”

You shrugged playfully, “It’s a mixture of both. But mainly, you’re right, it’s the greasy gift of god your visits are connected with.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a second, staring at your hair before another amused chuckle escaped his lips, shaking his head amused, “There’s a puzzle piece in your hair.”

Before you could do it, his hand was in your hair, fiddling with it a bit to free the piece out of it. Handing it to you, he let out a laugh – and you already thought his small chuckles were cute but the laugh of this man was on yet another level.

“Once again, you’re my knight in shining amour,” you smirked, the playful banter just adding to your positive mood, “I was looking for that, I was already frustrated because I was missing one piece.”

Namjoon’s eyes grew wide, a bit surprised, “You’re actually puzzling?”

“Well, where do you think that piece came from?”

Somehow, you noticed, Namjoon always had a soft expression on his face, as if he was admiring everything around him. It would be a privilege to be the one who gets to wake up next to that face.

“You’ve got a point there,” he nodded, “I just haven’t seen anyone puzzling in probably fifteen years.”

“What a shame, you should try it,” you told him, “I promise it’s fun.”

“So, you’re alone, drunk and puzzling all by yourself?” Namjoon seemed to be amused, “I can’t tell if that is the saddest or cutest thing I’ve seen in a while.”

You raised your eyebrow while biting down your lip in order not to laugh at his attempt of flirting and he panicked as soon as he realized what he just said, mumbling fastly, “I mean, I definitely have to try it again. I will for sure soon. You got me hooked on the idea now.”

Now you couldn’t help it but let a small chuckle escape, nodding your head, “I surely still have a few old puzzles lying around here somewhere. Why don’t you just text me and I’ll tell you when I found them. I’ll hand them down to you.”

Namjoon’s hand was nervously playing with the nape of his hair on his neck and you made a note in your head that apparently drunk and sober Namjoon were two completely different people. “I don’t have your number though.”

Still chuckling, you took out your pizza out of the delivery box yourself because Namjoon seemed to be too starstruck to do so, “You do. It’s on the delivery note.”

Embarrassed, he now let out a laugh too, “Oh, you’re right. Well, I’ll definitely make use of that then.”

Nodding, you started to close the door, “I sure hope so. Have a quiet and relaxing night, Namjoon.”

“You too,” he managed to say before you closed the door, “Enjoy your pizza.”

You were a smiling mess as you made your way back to the living room where the intro of the next episode of Gilmore Girls was playing and the next bottle of prosecco was waiting for you.

In your head you were replaying the little encounter, getting your pizza out of the plastic bag it was in – only to see yet another thing that made your heart melt.

On top of the box were two dips, one of them had a little sticky note attached to it.

[ Only an amateur like Antonio would put one extra dip. Real guys like me put two. Enjoy your meal, (y/n) :) ]

You giggled while taking a picture of the note and sending it to Yoongi in an instant to keep him updated.

Just as you hit the send button another message came in from an unknown number – Namjoon didn’t wait to text you and you thought that was very cute, you hated nothing more than guys thinking it’s cool to let someone wait for days before they texted.

[ Namjoon: What kind of puzzles do you have? I want a cool one with a Star Wars picture on it or something like that. P.s.: I hope I chose the right dips, if not let me know which ones you prefer.]

If you weren’t whipped for him yet now you surely were. He most likely didn’t care about puzzles one bit and had no actual desire to puzzle but if it was a good enough reason to keep up a conversation with him you would talk to him about puzzles for weeks.

[ You: I can offer you cute baby cats in a cup or one of those sunflower babys. I might have a Disney one somewhere but it had 2000 pieces.]

Not even three minutes later, Namjoon texted you back – making you wonder how in the world he was able to text you during work but you wouldn’t question it any further.

[ Namjoon: So what you’re saying is you don’t think I can handle 2000 pieces? Challenge accepted. And if I am not able to do it in the end I always can ask you for help right?]

If anyone told you that you and your delivery guy would be flirting while talking about puzzles together a few weeks ago you wouldn’t have believed them but you most definitely weren’t complaining – what an interesting guy.

“Happy birthday my baby,” Hoseok said as he hugged you tight. Right after that, Yoongi did the same, even giving you a pat on your head – you knew it was a special day when Yoongi showed you physical affection.

“Yeah, happy birthday you annoying angel,” Yoongi smirked, “I hope we’re the last ones to arrive.”

Of course they were. No matter where you were going, Yoongi was always the last person to arrive. He said it’s because it’s his ‘branding’ but you were pretty sure it was just him not being able to time anything right.

Everyone was already there – not that you invited a lot, just Jeongguk and Taehyung, Seokjin and his lovely girlfriend Mina, Jimin, your best friend Norah and last and also latest, Yoongi and Hoseok.

You wanted nothing more for your special day than just a small gathering with a bit of alcohol and a lot of fun, just talking and playing Mario Kart all night long like you all did back in college.

“Open our present,” Hoseok insisted while hanging up his and his boyfriend’s coat and you wouldn’t let him tell you twice.

Opening the envelope Yoongi unlovingly pressed into your hands when he entered your eyes went wide, a small gasp escaping your lips.

“No way,” you were more than surprised as you were holding four tickets to your favorite musical, “how did you convince Yoongi to agree?”

Shrugging, Hoseok send you a mysterious smile, “I have my ways. I can’t wait to go, we wanted to go for such a long time.”

Hugging both of them tightly, you even managed to press a kiss to Yoongi’s cheek, “Who’s the fourth ticket for though?”

“Up to you, it’s a double date, you’ll find some guy,” Yoongi shrugged before a mischievious spark found its way into his eyes, “Maybe you can return the favor to a certain someone who nowadays risks his jobs to sneak extra dips into your order?”

“Wait, what did I miss?” Hoseok asked you with wide eyes before turning to his boyfriend, “Are you keeping important information from me?”

You shook your head, immediately disagreeing, “It’s nothing. Namjoon just gave me extra dips when I ordered a few days ago, it’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?” Hoseok gasped, in his head he was already planning your wedding, “That’s so romantic. He kept in mind that Antonio always did it for you and now he’s doing the same for you. I never knew Namjoon could be such a romantic dude.”

You let out a laugh, amused by Hoseok’s reaction, “It’s just dip, Hoseok. We’re not getting married.”

“They are texting though,” Yoongi added fuel to the fire, “She sent me screenshots. He even used emojis.”

The grin on Hoseok’s face was now manifested as you were slowly making your way to the living room where the music was coming from and the others were already playing drinking games, “He never once used emojis with me.”

“Young love must be so beautiful,” Yoongi teased you as he was letting himself fall down on his usual spot on the couch. Sometimes you wondered why out of all the people he was destined to be your best friend.

Knowing how nosy your friends are, all of them were immediately bombading you with questions.

“Who is in love?” Jeongguk’s eyes darted up from the cards he was holding on his hand, panic in his eyes visible. Surely, he thought it was about him and Taehyung – it was an open secret that they had a thing for each other.

“Soon, it won’t be me if this loser right here keeps on losing at this game,” Seokjin nagged his girlfriend, giving her thigh a small squeeze.

Before you could say anything, Norah joined the others, “I can’t believe you’re in love and didn’t tell me anything about it. Finally over Jaehyun, thank god.”

Ouch. While you were doing better day by day you still didn’t have to be reminded of the guy who ghosted you recently on your birthday.

“Guys, our little (y/n) will soon be off the market,” Hoseok announced happily, “She and Namjoon are going straight towards the dating stage.”

You facepalmed yourself, shaking your head, “That is an absolute lie, guys. Don’t believe anything Hoseok says. I am very single right now and will continue to be in the future.”

“Sure,” Yoongi scoffed, filling an empty glass with some liquor that was standing around, “As if Hoseok will let that happen. Once his mind is set it’s over for you anyways. That’s how he got me too.”

“It would be very nice if stopped talking about my love life for now,” you playfully warned them with killing glances, “It’s my birthday, you have to listen to me after all.”

Jeongguk raised his glass, gesturing for everyone to do the same, “To our beloved (y/n). May the new year of her life be filled with fun, love and more sex than the last one.”

“God knows she needs it,” Seokjin yelled as all of your glasses clinked and you were gulping down the bitter liquor in your cup.

The night went by much to your liking: Filled with laughter, reminicising old memories, one of them including that one time Yoongi yeeted a full water bottle against your temple, drinking and the feeling of being together, right where you belonged.

Of course, Hoseok out of all people brought up the brilliant idea to order some pizza – not going to lie, despite the ulterior motive Hoseok definitely had, it would not have been a normal night if you didn’t get pizza at one point.

You were sure that everytime your friends were over at your place you ordered pizza, it was the most normal thing but with Hoseok’s sheepish grin as he ordered you suddenly felt like it wasn’t the best idea.

Seeing Namjoon in combination of him bringing something as delicious as pizza was a birthday present in itself but you just had a bad feeling about Hoseok already plotting something you couldn’t see coming right now in the back of his mind.

The door bell rang around 10.45, the evening just getting started and you were unable to open it, due to you being entangled between Seokjin’s and Norah’s limbs in a heated game of Twister that you were not willing to lose.

“Ask him to come too after his shift is over,” you ordered Hoseok as he was jumping up from his space on the couch to open it for you, “It would be rude not to ask.”

Hoseok scoffed, shaking his head, “You really think I wouldn’t have done that anyway?”

Namjoon was rather surprised to see Hoseok open the door but he figured out that there was a small gathering going on as soon as he heard the screams from the living room – luckily he wasn’t around to see you sandwiched between your friends after Seokjin decided he had enough of you two and just let himself fall on top of you with his whole weight crushing you.

“I was already worried as to why (Y/N) ordered seven pizzas tonight,” Namjoon let out a laugh as he greeted Hoseok with a fast handshake.

Hoseok knew that he couldn’t be too obvious with Namjoon about his plans – he was sure that he could get it to work between the two of you but he knew his oldest friend, he might be smart but he also was the clumsiest guy on earth, especially when it came to girls.

He chuckled, “It’s her birthday today, we’re celebrating in a small round.”

Namjoon’s eyes widened, instantly feeling bad for not knowing that today was your special day, “You should’ve told me. I would’ve texted her about it earlier then. Now it’s almost too late.”

Hoseok nodded, a suspicious smile on his lips, “I would have if you wouldn’t have kept it a secret from me that you’re talking to her in the first place.”

He offered Hoseok a helpless smile, almost apologetic, “Sorry, I forgot to mention it. We’re not even really talking. She just orders pizza a lot and I got her number from the delivery note.”

“Sure, sure,” Hoseok answered, making sure Namjoon knew that he didn’t believe him a single word, “No need to make excuses. She’s cute, I’m not blind. When do you get off today?”

Checking his watch for a second he didn’t notice you coming around the corner, “In fifteen minutes. You’re my last delivery, just have to bring back the car after this.”

“You should come over after,” his voice made him look up, almost seeming surprised to see you at your own home, “You can’t say no, it’s my birthday.”

He broke into a smile, nodding instantly, “Happy birthday, (y/n). I’ll see you in twenty, alright?”

“Don’t let me wait too long,” you almost sing-sang as you took a few of the pizza cartons from his hand, turning your back to him and Hoseok again as you walked to the living room.

Namjoon let out a frustrated sigh after you were gone when he saw the teasing glance of his friend.

“You’re whipped already dude,” Hoseok let out a laugh as he took the other pizzas, “See you in a few minutes. Be fast, I’ll make sure that she’s drunk when you arrive. She gets even chattier when she’s under the influence. I can’t wait for my newest project.”

As he came back and all of you sat around your living room table, ready to eat and chat and taking a break of the games you were playing you felt excited. It was embarrassing and probably childish but the thought of Namjoon coming over later made you feel almost giggly.

When the doorbell rang again you were quick to get up and make sure you were the one opening it.

You were still pretty sober and a part of you wanted it to stay that way just so you could take in Namjoon sober, not influenced by anything else.

But as you opened the door, you instantly knew that you actually might need more alcohol tonight than ever before.

“Jay,” your voice was thin and you had to clear your throat in order for it to come back, “What are you doing here?”

Instead of Namjoon’s face you were greeted with his and not only did you not want to see him, you also didn’t want to be reminded of him at all.

“It’s your birthday and I know it was mean of me to –” he started to explain, flowers and chocolate in his hand but you had to interrupt him. You just had to stop him from talking before you could allow him to hurt you again.

You might play around with Yoongi and claim you’re falling in love with every second pretty face you meet but the truth is that you barely ever let anyone in and Jay once again was the living proof on why you should keep it that way.

You liked him, you truly did – you could see yourself with him, in a serious and loving relationship. Jay and you had good sex, you could easily have a serious conversation with him in one second and then almost die of laughter in the next, you talked every single day, he called you before going to bed and everything seemed perfect.

Until one day, it didn’t. It all went down really fast – first he didn’t call anymore, the next day he barely responded to your texts, a few days later he didn’t even talk to you at all anymore.

You remember calling him drunk one night and he actually picked up for once only to tell you that you needed to respect his opinion. And you wanted to – you were the last one to run after a guy but the way he ghosted you just seemed unfair to you.

“Stop it, please,” you let out a long sigh, eyelids closing as you were trying to control the anger building in your stomach, “You have to leave right now.”

But you knew Jay and his stubborn self, he wouldn’t leave easily, “You don’t have to invite me in but please let me explain.”

Rubbing your temple in distress you almost considered hearing him out, almost got weak for a second. But then you thought about all the times you cried your eyes out over him, you got drunk and ate like shit and didn’t take care of yourself anymore, you were so lovesick you even skipped your friends’ parties and on the worst days you didn’t even have the energy to answer their texts.

You were still hurting, still wondering about why you weren’t good enough and how he could leave so easily when you were having such a hard time to get over him but that didn’t mean you were weak.

Just because it still hurt didn’t mean you had to hear him out.

Wrinkles formed on Jaehyun’s forehead as he desperately tried to get your attention, “Give me one more chance.”

Luckily, the anger overpowered the sadness inside of you as you heard those words out of his mouth. For weeks you were longing to hear those words and go back to normal but that was no more.

“Are you completely insane?” your eyes widened furiously, your nails lightly pressing itself into the palm of your hands, “How dare you come here on my birthday and act like this? After all you’ve done.”

Jay nodded, his hand trying to get ahold of your shoulder to make you look at him but you didn’t let him touch you. “I know I sound insane but I can’t be without you.”

A scoff was all you could offer him as an answer, not believing that he had the balls to say stuff like that, “Go get some help, Jay.”

Before he could say anything, you heard Yoongi’s sarcastic chuckle from behind you, also not believing his eyes, “Everything okay (Y/N)?”

“Yoongi,” Jay almost sounded relieved to see him, “Help me out here. I’m trying to own up to my mistakes.”

Yoongi shook his head in disbelief. He didn’t seem to be as mad as you but he clearly was taking your side, “Dude, you have to let it go. You can’t just come here and make a scene.”

As if the situation at hand wasn’t bad enough, Hoseok came up from behind you at the same time Namjoon was walking to your door behind Jay.

With each passing second everything just seemed to become messier. Hoseok didn’t hate Jay, you were sure Hoseok was not even able to feel hate towards someone, but after all he did to you he certainly wasn’t very fond of him.

And what he disliked even more was someone putting stones in his way as he was trying to set you up with someone who he was sure would treat you way better than Jay ever could.

“Namjoon, thank god you’re here,” Hoseok’s voice sounded hopeful, “Jay, it’s time to leave. As you can see, you’re not needed anymore. Goodbye.”

Namjoon clearly was beyond perplexed as to what was going on – it was like he walked straight into a battlefield. He didn’t know you very well but you were clearly angry, the unfamiliar guy standing in the doorframe next to him the reason for it.

Putting one and one together fast, Namjoon understood what Hoseok meant.

“Hello,” with a fake smile, he greeted the stranger next to him, “I have no idea who you are but judging the glances (Y/N) is throwing you you’re not very welcomed.”

You were thankful that Namjoon came to your rescue – Jaehyun would not have shut up if Yoongi or Hoseok told him to but a complete new face telling him that he better should leave had an impact on him.

Stepping past him and inside Namjoon wrapped his arm around your shoulder as an obvious statement towards Jay and threw you a small, reassuring smile, “Happy birthday once again, should we go inside and have a nice evening now? Or do you still want to talk to him?”

You made a note in the back of your mind, making sure to thank Namjoon for saving you later. Who knows what the outcome would have been if he didn’t play along?

“No, let’s go,” you nodded as the four of you were turning around to leave Jay at the doorstep.

“(Y/N), you know I love you right?” you heard Jay yell after you as a last try to make you change your mind but Yoongi was quick to shut the door behind him, not having Jay’s shit anymore.

You came to a halt in your hall as Namjoon’s arm left your shoulder – you didn’t want to cry but you could feel your nose tingling and hot tears coming to you eyes as you heard him say those three words.

For a second you were unable to move, in complete shock and before you knew it, some of the tears were rolling down your face. It wasn’t like you were crying heavily, you just spilled some tears and you promised yourself right then and there that those tears would be last ones you ever cry for him.

“I’m sorry,” you managed to say with a shaking voice.

“Sorry for what?” Yoongi chuckled, wiping the tears out of your face, “For wasting so much time on a jerk like him? It’s okay, we forgive you.”

You let out a small laughter through the tears, followed by a deep breath before turning to Namjoon. What bugged you the most was that he had to witness all of that.

“Thank you for having my back there,” you told him and only saw Yoongi and Hoseok sneaking away in the corner of your eyes to once again leave you two to talk alone, “I feel a bit embarrassed to be honest.”

Namjoon shook his head reassuringly, his hand on your arm as an offer of comfort, “Nothing to be ashamed of. Whoever that guy was, and I am assuming he is or was more than a friend to you, he seemed like an asshole.”

“Was,” you informed him immediately, “Was more than a friend. The only thing he is, present tense, is just another regret of mine.”

Nodding, Namjoon looked into your eyes and offered you a smile, “Are you okay?”

“A bit hurt and agitated but more than ready to move on,” you answered him, the corners of your mouth turning into a smile.

“Good,” he chuckled before pulling you into a hug, “I didn’t get to properly congratulate you yet. You could’ve told me your birthday was coming up, now I had no time to think of a present for you.”

Waving him off, you were about to assure him that he didn’t need to get you anything at all but before you could he was already getting a small package out of his bag.

“I can’t believe you still got me something,” you lectured him but he shushed you immediately.

“Just take it and open it. It’s just something very small but I saw it at the gas station on my way here and just had to get it for you.”

You could feel your heart melting already as he gave you the present but when you opened it and realized what it was, you swear your heart was melting away like butter in the sun.

A genuine laugh bursted out from you, “A puzzle and a bottle of wine. You just gifted me a perfect evening.”

You hugged him once again, thanking him for the present. It might have been something small but the meaning behind it was big. It was thoughtful, clever, cute and actually useful. Maybe even your favorite present of the evening, right after Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s that is.

“I got the biggest one they had so if you need help with it you just have to text me,” his voice was nothing more than a mumble as he was still embracing you. Well played, Kim Namjoon.

“Oh, believe me, I will.”

No matter how much you promised yourself not to let it get to you, Jay was not giving up. Calls, texts, flowers delivered to your door. He was putting in effort and even though you appreciated it, you told him more than once that you’ll not come back.

It’s been like this ever since your birthday five days ago. A part of you was curious as to what changed in his mind for him to go back and fight for you now but you knew as soon as you let him explain you would let him in again – and letting him in again was something you desperately wanted, and needed to avoid.

So, you fell down your hole again – it was exhausting and draining to act like everything was fine when you felt confused and hurt inside.

“Don’t cry too much, will you promise me?” Yoongi asked you from the other side of the phone.

You let out a sad chuckle, “I won’t promise. I’ll bawl my eyes out tonight. I’m in the mood for crying.”

Your best friend wasn’t very quiet about how much he hated seeing you like this. It was his way of showing you he cares. He checked in with you and told you you’re a helpless mess, trying to cheer you up in his own way, “Well, then you go and be a crybaby over a guy that doesn’t even deserve you. I tried.”

You laughed at his salty words, knowing he didn’t mean them, “Why am I even friends with you?”

“Been asking myself the same question for years,” he nagged you, “I have to go now. Stop sulking, get over that loser and then distract yourself with that cute delivery guy you always talk about. Bye.”

You haven’t seen Namjoon ever since your birthday but you were texting each other every now and then. Namjoon wasn’t stupid though, he knew you were having your own problems to deal with right now, not even trying to flirt with you as long as you were struggling.

There you were, sitting in your flat all alone, not knowing what to do with yourself. The most likely option was going to bed, crying your eyes out and craving for someone to hold you. That also was the most pathetic option but you stopped caring a long time ago.

Just as you were washing your face and brushing your teeth to get ready to go to bed, even though it wasn’t even that late yet, you heard the door bell ring, ignoring it. You weren’t expecting anyone and the possibility of Jay standing outside was way too high.

What you didn’t expect was another familiar voice yelling for you, “Delivery for (y/n). I know you’re home. Your light is on, idiot.”

You fastly walked over to the door and were surprised to see Namjoon in front of you, a pitying smile on his face. It was a terrible thought for him to see you like that.

By now you knew Namjoon well enough to know that he was the last one to judge you for going through a hard time but you still hated that he probably thought you were an emotional wreck (didn’t matter that he was very right with that).

“I didn’t order anything,” you said a bit startled, not knowing what was going on.

Shrugging, he handed you a paper bag, “I know but that’s the perk of being friends with a delivery guy. Surprise deliveries.”

You almost pouted because you were so touched by Namjoon taking care of you, “You really didn’t have to.”

A grin appeared on his face, the beautiful sight of his dimples making your chest hurt a bit. Namjoon seemed to be the perfect guy, right in front of you, but you couldn’t stop mourning over some idiot, “I wanted to. Plus, I missed you.”

What pissed you off the most was that you were doing better without Jay and then he had to show up and make you fall back to square one.

You smiled at Namjoon, a genuine smile, not one of the many fake ones you had to pull off over the last few days, “You’re too good to me.”

Namjoon would be willing to do almost anything to just get a genuine smile from you. He talked to Hoseok about it a few days ago and realized that his friend was right – for whatever reason, he was more than interested in the human form of a walking disaster that stood in front of him.

A part of him knew from the beginning but the more he got to know you, the more he got to appreciate your little quirks and flaws.

As you thanked him once again after a bit of small talk you let him go back to work and sat down on the bed to see what Namjoon brought you - your stomach was growling like crazy, you didn’t even realize how hungry you were. Thank god you have a Namjoon to take care of you.

The bag had a whole pot of ice-cream, two bottles of wine and a little note in it.

[ Cry it all out & cheer up soon. Until then, here’s some comfort in the form of food and alcohol for you. ]

Your stomach was tingling reading the little message – a small pout appeared on your lips, feeling both touched by Namjoon’s cute gesture and also miserable because you wanted to over Jay already.

Not only did you want to forget Jay, even more you wanted to completely fall in love with Namjoon. You wanted to experience what kissing him would be like and being held by him at night and also waking up next to him in the morning.

And with that mindset, you swallowed down your tears, shook any thought regarding Jay out of your mind and finally blocked his number. It was about time to do that. If only Yoongi was here to witness that moment, he sure would have been proud.

It was only 11.25 p.m. – you swore it felt like the middle of the night as you checked your phone, slightly annoyed.

But after turning around in your bed for several hours, you gave up on the idea of sleep. You weren’t even tired in the first place, you just wanted this miserable day to end.

If you couldn’t fall asleep you at least could waste your time with something more fun than staring at the ceiling and overthinking every single thing you have ever done in your life.

And oh, what a peaceful night this could’ve been, full of sleep and nice dreams – if only you didn’t decide to start the puzzle Namjoon gifted to you.

This man really bought the most complicated one he could’ve found, about seventy percent of it consisting of very dark to black pieces.

Puzzling was supposed to be a stress reliever but right then you just wanted to throw it against the nearest wall, not even nearly finished with the frame even after two hours.

Getting your phone out of your pocket, you opened your messages with Namjoon.

[ You: Kim Namjoon, I am goin to kill you fr. ]

[ Namjoon: OH? What did I do now? ]

[ You: This puzzle is making me go insane, you better get your ass over here and help me with it just like you promised. ]

[ Namjoon: Won’t let you tell me twice, give me twenty minutes and don’t be mad at me, we’ll finish this together ♥ ]

You had no idea what came over you, inviting Namjoon to spend some time with you alone wasn’t something you planned on doing this soon but the texts were sent before you could think about them twice.

A mixture of nervousness and excitement formed in the pit of your stomach, almost regretting inviting him over.

But not even an hour later all the nervousness vanished and was replaced with something you haven’t felt in a long time – genuine fun with a guy you liked.

“Are you blind?” you asked laughing, “You can’t just press a piece in if it doesn’t fit, that’s not how it works.”

Namjoon was laughing too now, rubbing his temple in pain, “Didn’t you say puzzling was fun and relaxing? This is one of the worst things I did in a long time.”

“I promise, it’s fun usually. You just happened to gift me the hardest puzzle to exist,” you teased him, loving how easy talking to Namjoon was. This was the first time you two were together alone and still there was no sign of it being awkward or uncomfortable.

The two of you were joking around, the TV playing in the background but both of you were too concentrated on the puzzle, and also each other to even pay attention to it.

“I’m hungry,” you almost sounded whiny as you were looking for a specific piece you swear you saw just a minute ago, “Let’s order something from Piero’s pizza.”

A small gasp came out of Namjoon’s mouth, “You actually like our pizza? I always thought you’re just ordering that often because you wanted to see me.”

“You’re confident I see,” as a small laughter escaped your lips as you shook your head, “But I have to dissapoint you. Piero’s pizza is the best pizza in town.”

“You have terrible taste,” Namjoon was clearly not agreeing with you, his eyebrows narrowed, “I knew even someone like you has to have a flaw.”

Laughing at his cheesy remark, you decided to still order from his workplace, no matter what he said - this was your house and in that house you love and support Piero’s pizza place.

It was around one in the morning when your and Namjoon’s heartfelt laughter while eating pizza and talking about just anything that came to your mind was interrupted by the loud and annoying sound of your doorbell. By now you were close to just turning it off so you wouldn’t have to deal with Jay’s attempts anymore.

Expecting the worst, you shook your head in disbelief and mumbled, “This guy really has some nerves, showing up in the middle of the night.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows knitted together, instantly understanding who was on the other side of the door. He felt a weird feeling of being uncomfortable rushing over him.

Not because he actually felt uncomfortable with you, no, he loved every second you spend together – the thought of you maybe giving in to Jay again after all was what caused the turmoil in his stomach.

He knew it wasn’t right to feel like this, some might even say he was jealous but he couldn’t help it. Of course, he himself was aware that the two of you were nowhere near being more than friends, you barely even were friends in the first place. Namjoon was sure that to you, he was nothing more than a friend of a friend and per chance also the delivery guy of your go-to pizza place.

But Namjoon wanted it to be more so bad – he could barely explain why he had this strong urge to make you like him, why he was so interested in you in the first place. It was like an instinct of his body to try to keep you as close as possible, as if something inside of him was screaming at him to make you his.

“Should I open it?” he suggested and you looked at him with curiousity in your eyes, “Maybe if he thinks you have a new guy he’ll stop bugging you.”

You considered his offer for a second but you knew Jay well enough – Jay was too stubborn to give up and also too clever to not see right through it.

Declining his offer you pressed your lips into a thin line, “That’s very nice of you but as long as you’re not opening the door with messy hair and in boxershorts I doubt he’ll buy it. It’s 1 A.M. and a boyfriend wouldn’t wear perfectly styled hair or nice tight jeans.”

Namjoon let out a laugh, agreeing with what you said – if he was more than a friend the two of you certainly wouldn’t be dressed and sitting on the couch while puzzling at this ungodly hour.

As the doorbell rang again, you took a deep breath before yelling towards the door, “Just a second.”

Just as you were about to get up and face the idiot on the other side of the door, Namjoon stopped you.

“Just how much does this guy bug you?” he asked you.

Rubbing your temple, you let out a sigh, “I wish he would just finally stop trying. I don’t know what else I should tell him to make him stop.”

“Got you,” he then said, getting up from the couch. You weren’t sure what to expect but it certainly was nowhere near what Namjoon had in mind.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he almost sounded embarrassed, ears bright red as he pulled his hoodie over his head, a white basic shirt underneath it. Next he started to open his belt, making your eyes grew wide, “Please act like this never happened afterwards okay?”

Namjoon was stripping down his pants in front of you and it was hard to say which one of the two of you had redder cheeks. A part of you wanted to look away, the other one wanted to stare and save every second of it in the back of your mind for lonelier days. His thighs looked stone hard and your mind was filled with unholy things.

You couldn’t help but laugh lightly when his pants dropped down to the floor, in front of you a Namjoon only in boxershorts and a shirt, “I absolutely owe you one.”

He waved you off, shaking his head, “Don’t worry. I just wouldn’t have thought you’d see me only in my boxershorts tonight.”

As he was walking to the door and out of sight, the smile on your face grew wider and wider. The inappropiate thoughts rushing through your mind not helping the adrenaline in your body to calm down very soon.

You almost felt like a giddy teenager again who was about to experience her first kiss. Except for that you were an adult and you were nowhere near getting kissed - you were most likely just reading too much into the situation but you still allowed your mind to do so.

“Namjoon?” you heard a familiar voice, one that definitely was not Jaehyun’s from the door, sounding more than confused.

“Oh god,” you then heard Namjoon mumble under his breath, getting up fastly to see what kind of scenario was going down on your front door.

You were surprised with two pair of eyes, wide wide open, looking at you and Namjoon. The little smirk on Yoongi’s lips gave away that he was enjoying the awkward moment a bit too much and Hoseok’s laughter a few moments later made you let out a breathe you didn’t know you were holding.

“This is absolutely not what it looks like,” you promised, now standing next to Namjoon, “What are you even doing here?”

“We wanted to accompany your depressed ass,” Yoongi said with the widest gummy smile of him you’ve seen in a long time, “But I see you’re doing just fine without us.”

Namjoon closed his eyes in frustration, knowing exactly that the two of them will never let you live this moment down, “Why don’t you come in?”

Hoseok’s voice was higher than usual, a teasing tone in it, “You sure we’re not disturbing anything? We can leave you two lovebirds alone.”

Now also frustrated, you threw your head back, shaking your head, “Stop being a pain in the ass and come inside.”

So, there you were a few moments later, Yoongi and Hoseok sitting on your couch opposite of you and a still half naked Namjoon. It almost felt like your parents caught you with a boy in the house and now made you have the most awkward talk you probably could have.

Breaking the silence, Yoongi raised his eyebrow at you, “Glad you’re getting laid again.”

In an instant you threw him a warning glance, shushing him, “I’m going to kill you if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

“Why are you so tense about it?” Hoseok asked curious yet the smile never left his lips, “We were rooting for you anyways.”

“We weren’t having sex or anything like that,” Namjoon started to explain to his friends what happened. He told them that the two of you texted each other every now and then, about the food he brought you earlier, you asking him to come over, the two of you just puzzling and drinking wine up to the point where you thought Jaehyun was on the other side of the door.

“That’s all that happened,” you hold your hands up as if you were pleading not guilty, “No sex, no making out, not even holding hands.”

Your friends looked at each other, still with suspicious smiles and mischief in their eyes.

“What is there to smirk about now?” you almost whined, not wanting to discuss this awkward situation any longer.

As much as you loved your friends, you just wanted them to leave again. Namjoon and you were just getting to know each other and god knows how much teasing from these two he could take.

The evening was so much fun and you were sure that Namjoon and you could go into the direction you wanted to, if only your friends didn’t decide to cockblock you.

“Nothing, nothing,” Hoseok assured you, shrugging lightly, “But just so I got this right: The two of you were hanging out alone, in your apartment, late in the evening, drinking wine together, right?”

“That’s a date,” Yoongi finished what Hoseok was trying to say, “Maybe not an intentional one but surely you wouldn’t just do that with any other guy.”

Protesting, you pointed your finger at the couple in front of you, “You’re wrong. I would certainly love to spend a wine night with you alone. Or Hoseok.”

Hoseok let out a laugh, shaking his head, “But we’re both in a relationship. A homosexual one, that is.”

“Just saying,” Yoongi shrugged, already knowing that he was right, “You wouldn’t spend your evening like this with Jeongguk or Jimin. But with our Namjoon here things are different, right?”

You wanted to disagree, wanted to put him in his place and make him lose this argument. You wanted to discuss this with him until you swiped off that shit-eating grin of his face so bad. But you couldn’t.

Not a single good response came to your mind to disprove him and instead, you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks.

Hoseok let out an excited shriek of joy, nodding heavily, “You’re speechless! Speechless because Yoongi is right.”

“Guys, why don’t we just –” Namjoon started, trying to de-escalate the situation like the peacemaker he was but he had no choice, Hoseok interrupting him only a second after he opened his mouth.

“Don’t you even think we’ll be only picking on (Y/N),” he started, making himself more comfortable on the couch as a sign of him not planning to leave before he enjoyed every single moment of this situation, “Let’s talk about you then, Namjoon.”

“I’d rather not,” he mumbled under his breath before sighing. He knew just as good as you that once Hoseok started to tease, he won’t stop until he wanted to.

“We’ve known each other for so many years,” Hoseok was clearly enjoying this way too much, the amusement and sarcasm in his voice thick, “Yet not once have I seen you do something you’re not allowed to, just like taking a detour to deliver food to a girl’s house for example.”

“You’re cruel,” Namjoon stated in response, knowing there was nothing he could say.

Both of you were just enduring right then, hoping it won’t become awkward between you two after the others are gone again.

“I’m just saying it’s cute that the two of you are getting closer,” Hoseok pouted, acting like the angel he sometimes can be, “You look good together. You obviously are attracted to each other and you’re getting closer, we all know which direction this is going and I think that’s great. Our (Y/N) only had bad luck with guys but you’re a good guy, I know you’d treat her right because I’ve known you for years but have never seen you look at someone the way you look at her.”

Yoongi chuckled as his glance met yours, the expression on your face clearly begging him to set an end to this because if anyone can stop Hoseok it would be him.

“I think we caused enough trouble,” Yoongi told his boyfriend, taking his hand in his own before gesturing towards the floor with his head, “Let’s let them have their date in peace, what do you think?”

Hoseok’s bright and shining smile turned into a soft one as soon as he felt Yoongi’s hand on his, the excited idiot becoming the loving boyfriend he is around Yoongi immediately.

No matter how much you wanted to kill Hoseok, it always made your heart melt to see the two of them like this. Their behavior towards each other was so full of love, the vitamin and the grumpy old man in front of you were still as smitten for each other as they have been since the start. If you ever would feel like this towards someone, you surely won in life.

As he got up and walked towards the door he couldn’t help but tease his friend one last time, knowing very well himself just how much he annoyed the two of you, “Stay in boxershorts, I know our (Y/N), it’ll make her go crazy – she loves thighs.”

Namjoon let out a laugh in the same moment you threw a pillow towards him, Hoseok’s fast reflexes making him duck in an instant so the pillow didn’t hit him but the plant behind him.

“Out!” you yelled at your friend but a small chuckle still escaped from you – it was almost maniac, “You terrible human being.”

As soon as you heard the door close behind them shortly after, you felt your tense body finally relax again, letting yourself fall down on the couch behind you, your eyes fixated on the ceiling, “I’m so sorry you had to go through this.”

Namjoon didn’t seem to mind all that much. He mirrored your actions, allowing his back to rest against your couch, in the space right next to you.

You could feel him shrug beside you without having to look at him, his broad shoulders only slightly brushing yours as he did so, “They weren’t completely wrong.”

No, they really weren’t. Actually, they were spot on – at least with the things they said about you. You would even go as far as saying they might have opened your eyes a little bit more.

While you were aware before that you thought of Namjoon as someone rather attractive, someone you definitely could fall for at one time in your life you didn’t realize how fast you let him in already, despite only knowing him for a short time.

Every single word Yoongi said was true and you hated how well he knew you.

The anxiety you felt during the conversation with your friends was completely gone when you realized how relaxed Namjoon was beside you. You feared he would start to feel uncomfortable, maybe even want to leave because of it but there you were, both of you drained from Hoseok’s teasing but at least without a weird tension between the two of you.

Namjoon letting out a scoff made you divert your attention from the ceiling to the man beside you - it was near shocking to see how close he was lying next to you, his face only centimeters away from your own, “What’s so funny?”

His glance shifted towards you, a smile that one could describe as almost silly-looking on his face, “Seems like we’re having a date, huh?”

“Seems like we are,” immediately you started smiliing widely, nodding your head, “Without us even knowing.”

Namjoon started to move around to lay on his side, his head propped on one elbow so he could look at you better, his whole attention on you, “If I’d ask you out on a real date, would you say yes?”

“Well, that depends on what a date with Kim Namjoon involves,” you arched an eyebrow, the playful tone in your voice making you sound way more relaxed than you were actually feeling inside.No, you were not feeling calm or cool, you felt your stomach tingling and your heart beating. The side effects of being next to Namjoon.

“Definitely not Pizza from Piero’s,” he laughed, making you do the same.

The annual campfire party of your friendgroup was the highlight of every year. It all started around four years ago when Hoseok first invited your group of friends to camp in his parents yard - back then you all were wondering why you should camp in a simple backyard but as soon as you first arrived you knew exactly why.

Not only did Hoseok’s parents have a massive yard, it also looked like the biggest cottagecore inspired movie scene you’ve ever seen with big, tall trees everywhere, wildflowers decorating the whole place and the coziest fireplace right next to an old shed, used to store tools and, once a year used for someone to make out in it while the rest of you were living your best camplife.

Ever since then you loved Hoseok’s campfire parties and this year you were even more excited because you had high hopes of ending up in Namjoon’s tent tonight.

“Turn left right there,” you navigated Namjoon who was kind enough to pick you up, “We’re almost there.”

“I know where Hoseok’s parents live, you don’t have to tell me,” Namjoon chuckled, clearly amused by your excitement, “How many people are coming?”

“Not that many,” you informed him, “Just the usual guys from our squad, their girlfriends and dates. No outsiders.”

“Leaves me wondering if I am part of the squad now or just your date,” he joked around.

Shrugging, you threw him a cheeky smile, “Depends on which one you prefer.”

He threw his head back while laughing, his dimple popping and you swore that you could never get enough of this view. By now you were whipped for Kim Namjoon and the two of you haven’t even kissed yet - it was almost scary to think how weak he could make you once you pass the flirting stage.

“I hope to be a bit of both,” he shyly admitted, making you smile instantly, “But you know, it takes two to be on a date. What do you think?”

“A date it is then,” you proudly said as he was parking the car.

As soon as you stepped out of the car you heard Jeongguk’s loud laugh alongside the music that was blasting from the backyard. Namjoon insisted on carrying not only his tent but also yours, being the stubborn gentleman he was.

“Oh, look who’s coming,” Hoseok annouced with his cup raised as he spotted the two of you, “Our two lovebirds.”

“Ay ay, such a pretty couple,” Jeongguk yelled and you wondered how he already managed to sound tipsy despite the evening just starting.

“You all have to shut your big mouthes,” you laughed as you approached your friends, all of them already sitting around the big fire in the middle on their camping stools, “Always making a big deal out of nothing.”

But once again they weren’t too wrong, were they? You noticed the way he sat down right next to you, a bit closer than he needed to be, the way he moved as soon as you moved, tense around each other, not because it was awkward but because both of you wanted to be ready for the other one.

It was already starting to get dark outside when finally everyone invited was there, everyone busy with something. A few people were setting up the tents, you and Seokjin's girlfriend were busy preparing some food while Namjoon and Yoongi tried to set up the big fire in the middle of the garden, tons of camping chairs gathered around it.

"So, how are things going between the two of you?" She asked you, not able to contain her big grin, "Are you still in denial about the fact that you're into each other?"

Throwing your head back, frustration was written all over your face, "I don't even know anymore. We're always flirting and like each other obviously but I think he doesn't want to pressure me because of the whole Jay dilemma."

"Well, I see how that can be frustrating but on the other hand that is very considerate of him, isn't it?" She had a point, you knew she does. He just wanted to be sure you're ready and you're comfortable but how in the world could you signal him that you were indeed more than ready?

As you stepped outside again, Namjoon was greeting you with a wide smile, gesturing you to sit down next to him. Jeongguk and Taehyung already had taped cans of beer to their hand and the music was playing loudly in the background as a few people of the group were talking about old memories from college.

Like every time, the atmosphere was cozy - the fire was keeping you warm and the stars were twinkling bright as you looked up. You loved those moments, they always made you feel peaceful. Seeing all of your dear ones together, having fun without a worry in the world warmed up your heart, you knew in the moment that you were making memories. Not to mention the special feeling of having someone next to you who you liked so much, he made your heart beat faster.

"Are you okay?" Namjoon whispered for only you to hear and you saw how for a second his hand was hovering just above your knee but he stopped himself - you wish he didn't, "You're unusually quiet."

Not thinking about it you put your hand on top of his, making his own hand rest on your thigh. It felt surprisingly easy and right to have it there, as if it belonged there.

Looking over to him, you leaned closer to reassure him, "I'm just enjoying the moment. It's nice to be here, with you."

He didn't have to say anything for you to know that he was feeling the same - the soft and calm smile was reassuring enough.

The party was in full swing when you decided to leave it for a bit, walking over to the part in the back of Hoseok’s garden, where everything was quiet, the only sounds coming from your friends that were playing games behind the tents but they were too far away for you to understand what they were talking about.

You didn’t have to turn around to know that the audible footsteps approaching you belonged to Namjoon; who else would come looking for you while there was a party going on only a few meters away?

He sat down beside you, his green oversized hoodie in combination with the grey beanie he was wearing were making him look so soft you wanted to bury your face in the soft fabric of the hoodie.

The dimpled smile he gave you even more managed to make your heart skip a beat and you were sure your knees would become weak if you weren’t sitting already.

“Is the party boring to you or why did you decide to flee?” he asked you, his legs crossed beside you as both of you were sitting a little bit too close to each other on Hoseok’s lawn, away from the middle of the party. For the first time in the evening it was just you and Namjoon, the rest of your friend hidden behind the many tents that were your home for the night. You wanted to be alone with him more than anything.

“No, that’s not it,” you reassured him as your eyes met and you almost felt shy, “I hoped for a certain someone to follow me so we could have some time to talk alone, away from all those drunk idiots.”

“Oh, should I tell Yoongi to come over then?” He joked, obviously knowing that you had no desire at all to talk to Yoongi right now – by now Namjoon knew that you enjoyed his company just as much as he enjoyed yours and even though you still were very careful about stepping out of the friendzone, you felt like you were slowly walking towards the dating-zone.

You playfully hit his chest as you laughed, “Don’t you dare to leave. I won’t let you.”

“What are you gonna do?” he scoffed, teasing you in the most playful way possible, “Run after me? Tackle me? You think you have a chance against me?”

“Probably not,” you agreed with him, “But I could always make you stay with a woman’s weapon.”

“Well, good for me that I didn’t plan on leaving again anyways,” he chuckled, the situation a tiny bit awkward because there you were – just you and Namjoon, all alone, alcohol in your veins and an obvious attraction towards each other.

By now it was safe to say that you liked Namjoon a little bit more than you would’ve expected but how couldn’t you fall for the pretty boy with a soft and kind heart?

You realized a while ago that Namjoon was the full package – he was funny and kind and cared about you, he checked in with you whenever you felt like shit and he even dealt with Hoseok’s constant bickering and teasing about the two of you. He helped you when Jay was bothering you, he listened to the small things you told him and remembered them, all in all he seemed to be the closest to a perfect human being you’ve ever met.

It was almost too good to be true but there he was, right beside you, eyes on you and you only.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” you asked him a bit shy, knowing that you had to ask him sooner or later, “I’m actually afraid of the dark.”

“Are you sure that’s the reason why?” Namjoon chuckled, “Not because you want to share the night with me?”

You rolled your eyes, acting offended, “Don’t think too highly of yourself. If you’re acting like this I’m gonna go and sleep in Jeongguk’s tent again, let me just ask him real quick.”

As you tried to get up Namjoon wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you right back in with full power, making you fall into his arms. “Smooth,” you smiled up at him before daring to lay your head down in his lap.

“If you think I’m gonna let you sleep in Jeongguk’s tent you’re insane,” he chuckled as he was looking down to where you were laying, his hand carefully stroking your hair out of your face, “You’re not going anywhere.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” you softly answer, a grin on your face. Of course, Namjoon was right  –  you wanted nothing more than to spend the night with him, god knows you wanted that since forever but you also weren’t lying when you said you were afraid of the dark.

“(Y/N)?”, Namjoon’s voice went quiet and he looked a bit worried, wrinkels appearing on his forehead, “Since we agreed that this is bascially a date I need to ask you a question.”

You just nodded, wondering what was heavy on his mind.

“This Jay guy,” he started and you felt your whole body tense up at the mention of his name, “Do you still have feelings for him?”

A sigh escaped your lips, meaning every word you were about to say, “Not at all. I don’t have feelings for any guy except maybe the cute delivery guy with the dimpled smile that always gives me an extra dip.”

Namjoon’s worried expression was washed away in a second, a laughter escaping his lips, “I sure hope you are not talking about Antonio.”

Both of you were laughing now as you were getting up from Namjoon’s lap again to sit beside him, your face facing his.

“I truly do like you (Y/N). I think I knew from the first time you opened the door, drunk and with mascara running down your face.”

You chuckled, nodding, “It’s not fair, you’ve seen me at my worst and I’ve only ever seen you at your best. Do you not have any bad days, Kim Namjoon?”

“Well, I was in a pretty bad mood when I thought you might go back to that jerk but besides that, I think I’m always close to perfect,” he teased you, his fingers busy with putting a stand of your hair behind your ear.

And there it was, the moment before. Both of you were thinking the same, your faces too close to each other and his hand on your cheek to obvious to deny it, and even if that wasn’t obvious enough, Namjoon’s glance down to your lips said it all.

It was the perfect moment, the weather was fine, Namjoon looked and smelled as good as ever, you were both a little tipsy with a full party going on in the back that you ditched – but all of those things didn’t even matter anymore as soon as you felt Namjoon’s lips on yours, the warm feeling of it rushing through your whole body.

His hand was holding the side of your neck, his fingers tangled in your hair as the soft kiss between the two of you felt addicting and you wouldn’t mind if this never ended.

It didn’t take long until your kiss turned into a full make out session, you on top of his lap as he held you close,

“Namjoon,” you softly interrupted him between the kisses but he didn’t care, he just wanted to kiss you for the next hour or two.

“Namjoon,” you once again interrupted him even though you didn’t want to, making him stop the kiss and rest his forehead against yours.

“Mhh?” he asked you with his eyes closed, enjoying the moment, “What’s wrong?”

“Hoseok and Yoongi are watching us.”

Only a second later you heard the two of them screaming and hollering, making Namjoon groan in frustration.

“Get the fuck away,” he yelled over to the tents where the two of them were standing, big grins on their faces, “You’re being the biggest cockblocks.”

“Excuse me?” Yoongi screamed, clearly amused, “If I remember it right we were the ones who set you up.”

“Good for you though!” Hoseok reassured you, “Use protection. You have thirty minutes before we start roasting marshmallows but I know Namjoon won’t need that long!”

Before Namjoon could say anything else the couple turned their back towards you, walking back to the party.

You snickered, “I don’t think they’ll ever let us live.”

Namjoon agreed as he realized you were still sitting on top of his lap, his hand found your thigh, drawing small circles in the inside of it.

“You’re so pretty,” he started kissing your cheek, “You’re pretty when you’re wearing a dress, make-up and with your hair all done,” another kiss on your jawline, “Pretty when you’re drunk and crying alone at home but still give me a smile when you open the door,” the next kiss right under your ear,  “Even pretty with a puzzle piece in your hair,”  a kiss right on your neck, making you shiver in anticipation, “And especially pretty when you’re sitting on top of me,” this time the kiss was planted on your collarbone.

“Just wait until you see me naked then,” you joked and held his head in your hands, kissing his lips softly.

Namjoon chuckled, his head in the crook of your neck, “I don’t think I’ll be able to survive that view.”

“I know CPR, don’t worry,” you joked and he gave you another kiss, happiness written all over your face, “Should we go back?”

“Wait a second,” he took your hand in his, “I just – I need to tell you that I do want to take you out on that date we talked about when we puzzled on your place that one night. And I want to take you on so many more. I’ll go to this musical with you and Yoongi and Hoseok even though I have no idea what it’s about and I want to kiss you so many more times.”

“I think all of that sounds just perfect, Joonie.”

Pressing a kiss to your hand, he took a deep breath before his eyes met yours, “Let me call you my girlfriend from now on, okay?”

The smile on your face grew wider than ever before, nodding instantly, “That sounds nice. Yoongi and Hoseok will be euphoric.”

Namjoon laughed, pulling you close to give you another kiss – it felt even better when you thought of him as your boyfriend.

“Somewhere between all the wine bottles and pizza boxes you stole my heart,” Namjoon’s voice was soft, “Let’s go tell them, I want everyone to know.”

[ssa-steverogers]

black widow reviewish? but it’s just my thoughts™️

i just watched black widow thursday night and i am shook. i'm going to do two separate reviews; one WITHOUT spoilers and another WITH spoilers. the one without spoilers will be here and the one with spoilers will be beneath it.

SPOILER FREE REVIEW:

here are some stuff i guarantee to you:

you will miss nat

other than that? it was really good. i think it'll be in my top 5 marvel movies. obviously, it takes place before she dies lol and she deals with her past. it was funny, action packed, and the COMPLETE opposite of boring. literally the shortest 2 hours of my whole entire life. there was no scene where i was like 'damn this is taking a long time', like i said, ZERO BORING PARTS.

i would so recommend this movie, although, for people who haven't really watched the mcu or care for it might not enjoy it as much as they should but this movie really connects into the mcu timeline. we learn so much about her past and things are starting to make sense again. black widow definitely answered a lot of questions about her past which made me feel so happy because nat has been treated as a 'sidekick' for so long and to see her finally have a black widow centered movie? wow.

also, yelena????? (aka florence pugh's character) i am in love with her. i love her so much. i hope you will too because she's really funny and relatable.

also, keep in mind that this movie is supposed to explain natasha's past because i feel like a lot of reviews that criticize the movie are forgetting that

damn, well all that is left to say is that i cried and that i hope you love the movie <3

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REVIEW WITH SPOILERS BELOW:

omfg guys this movie shook me. i cried multiple times. i have so many things to say!!!!1!1!

first off, critics that are saying that the whole idea of a villain in this movie is weak. i somewhat agree??? taskmaster seemed to be a lot less important than portrayed in the trailers. then again, this movie wasn't supposed to focus on hero vs. villain i think? like it literally takes place after civil war because marvel needed to have a redo on their misogynistic take of nat. but also this movie is to show us her past. if anything, the movie was hero vs. their past. taskmaster was there just because but was not the main villain.

it's cool if you disagree with me because i haven't read the comics and whatnot. i do wish that they used taskmaster better but the movie obviously had a purpose to focus on (nat and her family/backstory) so too much could've just been a distraction.

also thought it was cool that taskmaster could copy the fighting style of everyone. as i was watching it i was like 'oh, wakanda forever! captain america shield throw! black widow pose! winter soldier knife throw!"

anywhooooo, i cried the most when yelena was at the table with the fam fam and they were hurting her feelings without even realizing it. and then when she was like 'the best years of my life was fake and you didn't even tell me' i was so gone. i was dead. i really understood her in that moment and i wanted to hug her so bad omfg.

also????? i just want to know... did they teach the girls how to braid their hair in the red room? was there a class for that? everyone's hair was so fucking good lol

parts of the ending also gave me super captain america: the winter soldier vibes. like when nat lets taskmaster out from the room and she's like ya know don't fight me pls it's like steve with buck in tws. and the fight being the sky just reminded me of the helicarriers from tws. but then again, steve and nat were cool buddies so it's not weird that they became similar.

FIGHT SCENES. oh my god, action packed amazeballs. like i wasn't even expecting that. mcu has great action/fight scenes but in black widow? DAMN. what specifically amazed me in this movie is that in the past, they've downplayed the aggressiveness of fighting. but they didn't hold back for black widow. every punch, kick, and throw emitted so much power and rage, which is exactly what you'd expect coming from a bunch of russian spies. i loved that aspect so much.

THE CREDIT SCENE OH GOD. throughout the 2 hour long movie, i fell in love with yelena and i'm not even kidding. i love her so much. i just want to hug her (as stated before lol). to see her there at nat's headstone. i started crying then fricken valentina showed up. i was shocked while at the same time i was fricken like jesus then could've been a sad and touching moment for yelena. i also wonder if they meant for valentina to be introduced in black widow first or tfatws first? like which one was the original original idea? because of the bonk bonk release dates. i seriously want to know.

more onto the credit scene, the time in between yelena whistling and what SHOULD’VE been nat whistling back? longest like 5 seconds of my life. the silence was deafening. i fucking cried.

black widow is fucking great but i still wish we got to have her funeral :(

omfg i can hardly think of anything else, i am just so overwhelmed by how good that movie was. i'm going to miss natasha so much but at the same time i'm so happy that we are SO definitely going to get more of florence pugh as yelena. and yelena is such perfection i love her :) anyways, when it comes out on disney+ for free i will rewatch it a million more times :)

[needdatbag]

Drinking You

notes: Hi! This is my first fanfiction ever. I just wanna see if anyone might like it? Haha...Anyway, if you do, please leave a like or a comment. Hope you enjoy! Oh and this is only the first part. 

Summary: You encounter a stranger on your way back from the grocery shop and everything about him pulls you in. 

Pairings: Eren Yeager x Reader; Various pairings eventually

Warnings: NSFW; mentions of smoking.

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Part 1-Stranger Danger

You were not ok. Today was a hellish Monday like you rarely encountered. Of course Monday sucked in general  but it’s a different kind of pain when you work in a department full of detectives. Everyone is stressed day after day and they don’t have any notion about free time, for them it is equivalent with supplementary work. It’s been 4 months since you started working as the main profiler of the team and you feel as if you need to step up your game. Everyone likes you but the fact that you’re new in the field is noticeable. You do your best all the time but experience is key after all. So here you are, after working hours, walking out of the closest store while holding a beer and a pack of cigarettes in one hand while the other is busy holding the phone to your ear.

’’I will take a look as soon as I get back to my desk, I was planning on checking the brief details we have about this case anyway. I took the file before I left and I will be making an idea about the whole deal tonight. We will receive the rest tomorrow, right? I mean I can get something but without all the information it might just be wrong or incomplete.’’

Your boss sighed and agreed with you.

’’I know. There is a reason behind this lack of information but I am afraid you’ll have to find out tomorrow. I will explain everything to you as soon as we have the OK from the fucking higher-ups. Do what you can tonight, L/N.’’

He was tired but you almost swore you felt a tinge of sadness in his tone. Your gut told you something was just starting. You gulped.

’’Don’t worry sir. You’ll have the draft for the initial report on your desk as soon as I get to work.’’ 

You said goodbye and hung up while tossing the phone in the pocket of the pyjama pants you wore. You came home half an hour ago, ate a quick dinner and realised you forgot to buy the two things you needed for survival on days such as this Monday: a beer and cigarettes. Unhealthy coping but you got over that thought in college. Regrets were a pain in the ass and you wanted none so you did what you wanted.

 As you were walking towards your apartment building you couldn’t help but think about this case. Your team was way on the edge when they received word about it. They were silent about it and that scared you. Because, even if you only knew them for 4 months, you knew all of them were loud, outspoken and chaotic. Your head always throbbed at the end of the day. But you almost missed that today because instead of debates and childish arguments, this day was extremely tense and everyone seemed to be at each others throats out of silly things. As if they disagreed on something you had no idea about. It felt as if a powerful untouchable presence was messing with them and it saddened you but it also stirred your curiosity. Who or what was doing that? 

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice the person walking right in front of you and you bumped into them dropping your cigarettes in the process and almost dropping your beer but you managed to catch it before it hit the ground. 

’’I’m really sorry. I wasn’t paying attention…’’ you said as you immediately bent down to pick up your cigarettes but the stranger beat you to it.

’’It’s fine.’’ he answered in a low pleasant voice and started walking away. 

WITH YOUR CIGARETTES.

It took a second for you to register what happened and move. He walked away so casually that it pissed you off.

’’Heyo.’’ you said while grabbing his shoulder and making him turn to you. He was tall, well built with medium length long brown hair and green eyes. He was wearing an open black coat with a black cotton sweater and light blue jeans with a pair of some black and white Nike shoes. ‘Well damn’ you thought, ‘this theif is hot as fuck’. But priorities were priorities. You were going to offer him a piece of your mind. And if needed, a piece of your very basic physical training. 

He first looked at your hand on his shoulder and then at you with a total lack of interest. Without any facial expression he asked:

’’What?’’

You took your hand off his shoulder and attached it to your hip in a somehow sassy position. Then with the other hand where you held your beer, you pointed at the cigarette pack he held.

’’Give me back my ‘candies’...Stealing is a crime, jerk. Instead you could’ve asked for a few. I would’ve... ‘’

But he didn't seem to pay attention to you anymore as he looked at something behind your figure. He started walking, right past you to the spot where you bumped into him.

You were speechless. You debated a moment if you should chase him again but you decided as soon as you remembered you didn’t have any money on you anymore to buy a new pack. You turned with a determined look on your face. He was picking something from the ground and as soon as you got close to him, right before opening your mouth, he held out his hand to you, holding a pack of cigarettes. He had another one in the other. And then you realised and your face started to redden. ‘Shit’

’’I have my own ‘candies’ though it seems they are the same as yours.’

You grabbed your cigarettes slowly while touching his hand in the process. You got a chill down your spine. This time his eyes were fixated on you and all the courage from earlier was down the drain. You were embarrassed of course but the way his direct look intimidated you was surprising. Your gut was telling you something but you couldn’t quite understand it. You were busy staring right back into his cold green eyes. He looked away first and sighed. 

’’Well, if this is done, goodbye.’’ and walked away from you for the third time in 5 minutes.

Somehow that didn’t sit right with you. Your brain was telling you to just walk slowly home and finish the work you had left for today, take a shower and start everything again tomorrow, while your body was already chasing the long haired man, adrenaline pumping through your veins. You told yourself you just wanted to apologise for calling him a jerk but the truth was there was something invisible pulling you in his direction. Maybe it was your toxic curiosity or the silly fact that you two were smoking the same cigarettes, an old brand that made you forget things that screamed in your head constantly, or perhaps it was just the simple fact that he was a handsome stranger. Who knew? The only thing you knew was that you were a fool. But that never stopped you before. 

’’I’m sorry! I never meant to insult you….I should’ve just looked around...Usually I’m not such an airhead. I wonder how come I didn’t notice another pack on the ground.. heh.’’ you said while reaching him. You guys were walking in the same direction anyway. He didn’t say anything, he just looked straight ahead not really paying much attention to you but he also didn’t seem bothered by your presence.  As you reached a crosswalk and waited for the colour to change you watched his profile as discreetly as you could. He looked as if he was completely lost in thought but at the same time aware of everything surrounding him. He was close but far and that really tickled your brain. You groaned internally. 

‘I shouldn’t care, he is just a stranger whom I’ll never see again. Asking him for a coffee out of the blue would be weird too.. And he seems to be completely uninterested in my existence anyway, though I guess that is mostly because of my bloody pyjam..’

’’So what’s up with that pyjama?  he said out of the blue.

’’I don’t like to assume things but if you’re following me because you want to ask me out or something I think you might be my best friend's soulmate. He has the same Star Wars pyjamas.’’

Your mouth was hanging open. You looked down at your clothes and then back at him. He was watching you now as well. The light changed and he started walking as you followed.

’’I live on the other side of the road and this is what I usually wear at home, so no, I don’t really bother dressing up for a trip to the grocery store. And I’m just going home, I’m not following you..’’ 

You bit your lip as you hesitated before continuing wondering if you should say what you were going to say.

’’...and I also have a ..boyfriend.’’

You two reached the other side of the road and he suddenly stopped.

’’You’re lying.’’ he said calmly

Both of you stopped walking. You looked at him wide eyed. How could he know you were lying? He sounded so sure too. His expression seemed to change for a second when he saw your confused face, some sort of realisation hitting him while he shook his head.

’’Nevermind.’’

-He stepped closer to you and tilted his head, a few stray strands of hair falling randomly on his face. This guy was handsome, annoying but handsome. Even his skin seemed to have a special kind of glow, besides the fact that it was a beautiful tan colour and the combination with the kind of green/teal eyes that he had left you almost breathless in close proximity. Of course you lied. What boyfriend? You were working most of the time and you studied people for a living so of course you were overthinking everything about any guy that came your way. You either figured them too fast and they bored you or you didn’t even look their way. You were not easy to deal with either as you had a very straightforward personality on the outside but on the inside you were trying to keep everything from collapsing. You were confusing, caught between being intimidating, bad mouthed and weird or depressed and minding your own business in silence...and those moods were not exactly any guy’s cup of tea. 

So lately you always try to play the sweet girl card when it comes to guys, hiding your trust issues for another day. But this time you were not in control...of anything. It wasn’t even a big deal, really.

 You were just talking to a stranger. But his presence was dominating you effortlessly. And for some sort of reason you couldn’t even start to figure out why. Your brain was foggy, your breathing was irregular and your knees were suddenly weak when he got close to you.

‘What in the Twilight..’ you thought

You couldn’t read him while he seemed to have no problem reading you. And that bothered you the most.

’’You should go home..’’ he spoke in a lower, raspier voice ’’..I’m not as interesting as you might think. I’m a simple guy actually.’’

His words seemed so honest, his tone too. But something told you that he lied. Or that what he said might have been true. Once. But not anymore as his eyes didn’t meet yours when he spoke the last part.

You tried to ignore the sensation that formed in your stomach when he spoke so close to you in that voice that seemed to echo inside your head. You were getting a little lightheaded and for a moment you thought about the possibility of being physically sick. In this case this would've been the better scenario.

 ‘I should just go. Ignore everything about the way I feel now as if nothing will ever be boring again. Yes, I should ignore the fact that I don’t need to pretend because there is no point in doing so in front of this person. They see through me anyway. But that’s a bad thing and I’m not thinking clearly right now and he screams ’Stranger Danger’ and for God’s sake I work with the police...What should I do..His eyes are so pretty, his voice is so beautiful and I’m just a curious superficial fool.’

You took a breath and turned around while his eyes never left you. You started walking towards the entrance of your apartment complex and with every step your heart started beating faster and louder. Your ears were captivated by a weird inner buzz. You bit your lip and clenched your fist, your nails actually hurting the skin of your palms. 

‘Don’t do it. Don’t do it.’

But in a swift motion you turned around, fear, excitement, some sort of distorted happiness and an unusual laughing sensation taking over you.

’’Come upstairs for a coffee, Stranger-Danger?’’

His eyes were still on you when you turned around. After you finished your sentence he covered his mouth with a hand. He might have laughed at the nickname, you guessed. But he came anyway.

Later on you would come to realise that you saw something flickering in his cold eyes when you turned around. A cunning fire that hid behind that wall of ice. Who knows..?

It might have just been the fact that this was exactly what he was waiting for all along. 

But there was no coffee upstairs. 

The moment the elevator doors closed you started kissing, like there was an unspoken agreement that this was going to happen exactly then. The kiss wasn’t rough as you would have expected it to be, it was gentle just as a declaration or an apology. But that soon changed as both of you became consumed with each other. The kiss became meaner from both of your sides, egoistical, as if both of you were trying to steal more from each other than the other did.  He caressed your cheeks and then his hands travelled to your neck where he felt your skin and your pulse. His hands were cold but the touch of his fingertips on you felt as if it burned your skin, leaving scars even if there were none. You held on to his coat while he pushed your back against the wall. After you stopped kissing, he licked his lips and looked into your eyes. You looked back. Nothing said. He started kissing and biting your neck.

When you entered your apartment clothes started flying left and right and while kissing him, between undressing and tugging at each other's clothes , you could only be thankful that you were wearing the ‘good’ underwear you still had on and not some panties with silly patterns you usually wore at home. Somehow you two reached your bedroom but you had no idea how because you were blind to mostly anything around you but him. He picked you up, your legs now straddling his waist as he walked and you could feel his muscles. His body was very well defined, strong arms,abs and everything, beautiful large shoulders and prominent collar bones. ‘Weird’ you thought...because he didn’t  really seem like he worked out. His body looked as if it developed naturally this way. You only saw that at the guys working in your department when they trained, the girls too. Their body developed over the years thanks to all the training.

 For a second your mind wandered to what he did for a living.

You didn’t know anything about him... but the way his lips tasted, the way he smelled so fresh yet intoxicating, the way he made you so dizzy when he stared into your eyes, those things left you unwilling to think about anything else besides the feeling of his body on yours. You were drowning in him, his presence overwhelming you. The way you two moved against each other felt like a feverish dream in which you were dancing. He was leading and you could only stare into his eyes even though you knew this wasn’t like you at all. 

He was far too intoxicating to be your type, and he was far too in control for you to be his. 

While he laid you on the bed gently his hands traced mindless patterns on the skin of your legs moving higher and higher towards your thighs where he started to grab your flesh making you groan. He was either teasing you or enjoying feeling every inch of your body. He started kissing your inner thigh, sucking, licking and biting his way up to your core.

’’You’re going to leave marks.’’ you said breathlessly

He raised his head from between your legs  and with a teasing but cold voice he said:

’’Is that a bad thing? Your ’boyfriend’ won’t mind.’’

Your face started to redden at the mention of the ’fake boyfriend’ and you opened your mouth to protest but in a quick motion he reached your face and kissed you. He was trying to shut you up by kissing you ruthlessly, biting your lips and sucking on your tongue. You couldn’t get a break and when you wanted to fight back he was kissing you even harder. 

He only stopped when he ran out of breath. You wanted to retort something again but he beat you to it. Between pants of air he said:

’’You sure like to talk a lot don’t you ?...But I guess I’ll drink you anyway.’’

He effortlessly tied his hair in a messy man-bun that fit him weirdly well. The lights were off in your apartment but the street light coming from your bedroom's window was highlighting all the right parts of his silhouette. His abdominal muscles, his strong thighs, the movement of his arms as he fixed his hair, the veins on his arms, his slender but strong neck, his jaw, the right side of his face, his lips, his straight nose, his green eyes who looked directly at you without giving you a break. You were done talking now. 

He slowly leaned over your naked torso while still maintaining eye contact and you could feel his warm breath on your skin. He watched you as if he was silently asking if you’re not backing away so you just nodded, ashamed of the fact that you were more excited than embarrassed. It was what it was. Your mind was fuzzy and your body was needy. And he intrigued you. However that was the part you chose to snooze for now.

He started kissing all over your breasts in a soft manner but eventually he transitioned into biting and teasing all over them, especially your nipples. You began slowly moaning because of the sensations that were overwhelming all your senses. He was only teasing your body but you were already melting. When he started placing wet kisses on your abdomen, going lower and lower, you squeezed your legs together and he felt it so he grabbed and squeezed on the side of one of your tights just to let you know that he was aware of the power he had on you.

When he finally reached your most sensible part you arched your back at the sensation of his tongue. Sure, you had sex before but it was almost always dry and this was also the first time someone went down on you. Like they knew exactly what they were doing and where to touch specifically. It was as if he knew what you wanted without even knowing you. It was strange. Suspicious. Addicting. Dangerous.

 He trailed his fingers against your back while he ate you out. You were putty in his hands, your body flushed and high on the way his mouth felt. He teased your clit mercilessly, over and over, until you came multiple times. The good kind of torture.

As he slowly entered you he started groaning and placed your hands on his shoulders. You moaned at the sensation of being filled. It felt just right, as if your bodies just ‘clicked’ in every way. He grabbed your face with his hands while he started thrusting.

’’Just... hold on ...to me and... relax.’’ he told you between groans and sighs

You nodded rapidly, not really caring about anything anymore besides the pleasure and relief you were seeking. Your bodies were rocking in sync with each other, both of your pulses skyrocketing with every increase in pace. He was thrusting faster and harder now. Your hands were not on his shoulders anymore but outstretched above your head, his strong ones holding them pinned to the bed as he was losing himself in the sensation of you.

You two fucked as if both of you were running away together but from different things. When both of you reached your high his eyes seemed to light up when he looked at your face consumed by his presence. For a few seconds, while he lost control and pleasure overwhelmed him, you felt as if you saw someone else, still him but different. A real fire seemed to burn in those eyes during those moments but you only gazed at it a little bit and it was gone, replaced by that wall of ice that effortlessly unnerved you.

He collapsed next to you as both of you caught your breath.

You two sat in silence not feeling the need to talk, His fingers were mindlessly drawing battens on the back of your palm. You liked that. Somehow it warmed you. You turned your head in his direction. He was watching the ceiling and you could swear his expression was a little warmer now but something still felt melancholic about it. He turned his head and looked back at you. You really tried to memorise the way his upper lip was more prominent than the lower one, the way his eyes had such a nice, kind shape yet they looked at something beyond what you knew, the way his skin had such a pleasant warm tone, the way his hair fell on his face. 

Your eyelids started to become heavy. You were tired but you tried to fight off the request your body and mind had regarding some rest. You really wanted to say something before you fell asleep so you mumbled in a sleepy voice.

’’..The more I look at you...the more...I don’t see you...smoking...I don’t know..why...tho..’’

Your body became heavier and your eyes were slowly closing. The only thing you saw before drifting into the dream world was the faint image of a smile on his face. 

‘’I don't.’’ he said 

You woke up late the next day and he was gone, as if everything was nothing but a weird illusion. You pushed away the feeling of disappointment, told yourself to grow up and forget last night and took a shower, ate breakfast, dressed up for work in some brown dress pants, a white sweater and some dark red leather heels, grabbed your jacket and bag from the hanger and left for work.

‘I was right. He is a fucking jerk. He didn’t even leave a note or something. I don’t even know his name..but I guess it doesn’t matter. We’ll never see each other again.’

 You sighed.

You had more important things to do and worry about. How were you going to tell your boss, or The Captain as your crew called him, that you forgot the file you promised to look over, at work and you had no idea what the case that was assigned to your team and that was stressing everyone out, was about.

’’Captain Levi is going to beat the shit out of me..’’ you said out loud as you entered the building...even so...something bothered you as you could swear you placed the file inside your bag yesterday. You usually double check everything anyway.

You entered the HQ of the Survey Unit, your and your team’s unit and said a quick ’’Hello’’ to Jean, Sasha and Connie who were drinking coffee around Jean’s desk while discussing something intense. 

’’Hey, L/N...What is with the panicked attitude? Come drink a coffee with us and stop acting like the sky is going to fall. Need help with something ?’’

You took off your jacket and reached your desk. Nothing besides your cactus and your agenda that you usually left at work. The file was not here either. Hell. Your mind started going into overdrive.

’’The sky is actually falling Jean...and I’m the fucking sky.’’  you said while facepalming. How could you possibly lose the file?? A file with confidential police information.. You bent down and started searching for it under the desk but it was clear it wasn’t there.

Sasha was unpacking one of her sandwiches as Jean and Connie were both looking at you with a confused expression on their face. But their attention switched to Mikasa and Armin who entered the doors while being surrounded by a gloomy atmosphere. Mikasa looked as if she lost weight in the last two days while Armin’s dark circles were obvious testimonies of a sleep deprived individual. Jean and Connie went over to them discussing something you couldn’t hear while Sasha came in your direction. 

’’This really takes a toll on all of us...but I really pity Mikasa the most...I guess you read the brief details about the case...Having to arrest one of our own, someone who betrayed us and is also her step brother … Man..I would be stress eating like crazy..I still do it.. but anyway.’’

You snapped your head in her direction.

’’What? Mikasa has a brother?’’

Sasha raised a brow while chewing her food.

’’Yes. Though they are not related, she was adopted into his family when her parents were killed. His parents died too after a few years and they had to survive, together with Armin who was in the same situation. He and Armin had been best friends ever since they could remember. He betrayed us a year ago and went rogue...but we never knew how far he went.. The Military Police assigned him to us. I’m sorry... We never really spoke about this because it’s a sore subject…You must be confused.. Huh?’’

You were speechless. You never knew that. Not a single word about it. But you always that something was missing however you kept your silence about it. 

’’Why would the MP assign him to us? It’s cruel and it doesn't make sense..’’

Sasha shrugged and said:

’’My guess is that they need Cpt.Levi to catch him. After all, he trained him. The MPs are big mouthed but they were never able to tame Eren.’’

You raised a brow. ’’Eren?’’

Sasha nodded. 

’’Yeah, that’s his n….Y/N did you know you have something stuck on your bag?’’ she asked while pointing at the black bag you owned. It looked like a post it note.

‘What the hell..?’ 

You picked it up and noticed something written on it. The writing was a little bit messy and squarish.

’’MEETIIIIING!’’ screamed Hange from the conference room

 Sasha went ahead: ’’I’ll see you there. Hurry up.’’

The words written on the note were: ’’I’m sorry. You’re a kind person. Thank you.’’

There was no name but you knew it belonged to the stranger you met last night. You started breathing heavily.  It wasn't the fact that something felt off about the note but where it was placed. On your bag. 

The FUCKING FILE was IN the bag.

In your mind a memory flashed suddenly. 3 months ago, after working hours the whole team went out for some food and drinks. You and Armin discussed your favourite movie series. You froze while remembering the crucial detail of that conversation.

’’It’s kind of embarrassing but I even have pijamas with Star Wars..’’ Armin said while his face flushed red.

You placed a hand on your mouth remembering a part of last night’s events.

’’.. I think you might be my best friend's soulmate. He has the same Star Wars pyjamas.’’

’’L/N! Move it!’’ Cpt Levi’s voice snapped you out of your daze. 

You started walking shakingly thinking over and over again about the possibility of this all being a coincidence..but when you entered the conference room and saw the screen, your blood went cold.

 /Runaway-Eren Yeager/ Accusations / Terrorism/ Multiple Murder Acusations/ Insubordination/ WANTED/ Dead or Alive/

And right to all these accusations was the picture of a younger version of the guy you met last night.

Your ex-colleague.

You looked at the note in your hand. 

It made sense right now. He used you right from the start.

You felt like laughing but you sat down next to Jean, trying to compose yourself and paying attention to what your Capitan was saying. 

In your mind only one phrase kept repeating itself.

You just fucked the enemy.

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That was my first ever smut scene...Am I going to hell yet? haha

[arknights-imagines]

Oooo for the Christmas letter/gift event could I request dobermann writing to her fem!operator s/o who is stationed further away for the holidays please? I'm soft for her 🥺

From, Dobermann

Christmas Letter and Gift event

It was so cold; you really should’ve bought a thicker coat, though in your defense, you hadn't been expecting to be sent out on an extended Operation for the Holidays, especially not one in the outskirts of Kjerag, the literal snow realm.

Returning to the Rhodes Island camp with the rest of your squad, you put your weapon away with a sigh, watching as your breath fogs up before you. Your squad captain nods at you all, firmly reminding you and your squadmates to prepare to escort another convey in a few hours. With a salute and word of affirmation, you part ways with your squad, heading back to your assigned cabin.

“[Name]?” The relief on your face dissipates immediately when you hear your captain calling for you. Expecting to be assigned with a new task that would leave you with even less time to rest, you answered with a less than eager nod.

The dread on your face was gone in an instant when you were handed a package; a plain, lightweight cardboard box. You accept it and lift a brow, “Who’s this from?” Your squad captain shrugs, “No idea, a messenger from back at Rhodes Island delivered it earlier today and told me to give it to you. You can deal with it inside, it’s cold out here.”

You can't disagree with that - with a respectful salute, you part ways with the captain, finally able to step into the warmth of your cabin.

Exhausted, you shed your coat and toss your weapon aside before sitting on the edge of your cot with the package in your lap. There’s no sender’s or recipient’s address or name, and you don't remember ordering anything - regardless, you open it to satisfy your curiosities. Upon opening it, you briefly inspect its contents; nothing in particular catches your eye, but the first thing you see is a sheet of paper stamped with the Rhodes Island insignia. Just from the neat, slanted handwriting creating paragraphs on the page, an expression of serenity comes over your face as you realize just who the package is from.

--------------------

[Name],

I regret not being able to express these thoughts to you in person, but in our situation there isn't much that can be done. So, this cardboard box and its contents are my compromise.

I may be risking my job if I say this, but I find the Doctor's decision to dispatch you so far away at such late notice is unwarranted - and so close to the Holidays as well… you should've called me, I would've given them quite the earful. What's passed is passed, however, and if the Doctor finds its best, then I can't argue.

I hadn't expected much to change around Rhodes island during Christmastime, but against my expectations, everything practically exploded with festivities. Bright lights hanging from the walls and the atmosphere filled with this mushy warmth despite the fact the weather is freezing outside - ha, can you believe the newbies even expected an extended break from the training program because of the holiday season? Maybe it’s too harsh of me to deny them any sort of vacation...but the way I see it, war doesn't pause its advances just because of Christmas, so neither should we.

To be honest, Christmas and its traditions aren't something I particularly enjoy; it’s all a little tacky. Maybe it's because as a military woman Holidays were never something I had the luxury of enjoying, but that's besides the point. There’s been various attempts to try and put me into the “Christmas Spirit”, but they've been useless for the most part, and end up in awkwardness or embarrassment - while I appreciate everyone's efforts, it's more of a hassle than anything.

Ha, just today, one of the trainees gifted me a box of pricey, Siracusian hot chocolate; yeah, chocolate…. It’s not their fault, after all, chocolate is widely loved by many people. I just happen to be part of the minority who can't stand it. Besides, something that sugary would ruin my diet; I’ll most likely just end up leaving it in the staff lounge or cafeteria for anyone to take. Hm….I’ll deal with it, don't worry about me.

Other than the Holidays, a few other things have been on my mind. For one, you forgot your heavier coat at home, and it's practically a 24 hour long blizzard outside; don’t freeze out there, or there might just be fifty laps around the training grounds waiting for you upon your return to Rhodes Island. But in all seriousness - [Name], be careful out there. Back here at Rhodes Island, festivities are in full swing and most things have been light hearted, but where you are, you don't have the luxury of slacking off or getting sloppy.

Ha, now that I think about it, a lot of my thoughts have been about you. Maybe it’s concern for your safety as your boss, or maybe it’s me as your lover missing you and your company. You know [name], if you told my past self that you were going to be my lover in time, I probably would have laughed at you in a dry, unamused tone. If something happens to you out there...Don’t be an idiot; follow your orders.

On a more heartening note…I decided to purchase something for you. It's a gift; Don't ask me when or why I bought it, but I’ve had it for some time. I just wasn't certain when the appropriate time to give it to you would be. Presents are meant to be exchanged during the Holiday season, so I’m giving it to you now. It’s not very extravagant or eye-catching, but it’s a gift nonetheless.

“Christmas Spirit”, huh? It’s been years since I bought someone a gift I put this much thought into...Maybe all those efforts from the trainees and other instructors worked after all. Heh, moving on.

After you return, I’ll free up a few days on my schedule around Christmas Day. Training physicality is important, but caring for the mind is as well. It’s been quite some time since we had some time to ourselves; I may be a very disciplined person, but I’m not heartless. I think stepping away from work to spend time with the one I love is justified, and I’m sure you'd agree that we both need a break.

This upcoming Christmas will be one of the few I spend off the field of battle, and the very first I celebrate with you. Ha, something tells me that if you’re with me, I might end up enjoying these Christmas traditions and rituals; I’ll be honest, window shopping, building snowmen and dancing to Christmas carols don't sound as ridiculous when I imagine myself doing them with you.

I'll cut this short, we can't have you losing focus, now can we? One last thing I have to tell you - you should know this already, but...I love you, [name]. I'm going to stress this again; stay safe for me, don't get distracted. Now get back to work.

Dobermann

--------------------

With all traces of exhaustion gone from your eyes, a smile paints your lips. Your eyes stay on the letter for a few moments longer, grasping tightly onto the feeling of warmth that fills you at Dobermann's words. When you pull your gaze away from the letter you realize something still remains inside the box - and then you remember that Dobermann had mentioned a gift for you in her letter.

You place the letter on your pillow, then take the smaller, neatly wrapped box out of the bigger cardboard one. You tear away the plain brown paper from the small box, after removing the lid from it, your eyes widen just slightly.

Sitting inside of the box is a simple silver bracelet, and engraved on the band are the words ‘never to part’. Smiling with adoration behind your eyes, you remove it from the box carefully; the bracelet feels durable and fits on your wrist perfectly. It’s not flashy, and compared to jewellery studded with diamonds and decorated with carefully carved patterns, it can't compare - but between you and Dobermann, it carries all kinds of meanings and messages reserved only for you and her.

A small pit forms in your stomach as a sudden yearn for Dobermann passes over you - sighing slightly, you trace your fingertips over the words on the silverband. Your eyes slip shut; you wish you were back at Rhodes Island, sitting in silence while watching the snow, with your head on her shoulder and her arm around your waist. A little hesitantly, you reopen your eyes, and you notice that there’s a sticky note stuck to the bottom of the previously wrapped gift box, with rows of words in Dobermann’s handwriting filling it.

Lifting a brow slightly, you unstick it from the box and read it slowly; ‘I want to be together with you for a long time, and if we want to stay with one another we both have to be strong...think of the bracelet as a reminder of that fact.’ Once more, a small smile paints your lips, and at the very last words of the note, you chime with a light laugh, ‘Merry Christmas, [name]. Take care of yourself, or I’ll do it for you.’

[hetacon]

Prom Queen: Chapter 5

First || Previous || Next

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Word Count: 1,920

Pairings: Endgame Prinxiety, Platonic LAMP, more could be included at a later point

Warning: Swearing, mentions of p*rn, mentions of drugs and underage drug use, slight internal panic attack

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Summary: The popular kids were interesting for sure, they definitely weren’t exactly like Virgil had expected them to be but at the same time they kind of were.

(Make sure you read all the way to the end if you want to hear my thoughts on the chapter, and let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this story, my art, or writing! I hope you guys enjoy!)

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Music blared through Virgil’s headphones as he and Roman sat with the popular kids again. Virgil wasn’t feeling up to talking much with them today so he had out his sketchbook, mindlessly making marks on the page. He was totally spacing out, too occupied by his latest worry of the week.

He very nearly jumped out of his skin as one of his earbuds was pulled out of his ear and he scrambled to pause the My Chemical Romance song that he’d been playing to drown out his thoughts the best he could, putting his phone face down in his lap. Virgil registered the person next to him laughing loudly at his jumpiness and he looked over to see Nick nearly doubling over from how hard he laughed.

‘It really wasn’t that funny, you scared me asshole,’ Virgil thought bitterly to himself before mentally shaking his head. ‘He didn’t do anything rude.. Well, that rude, calm down Virgil, you’re overreacting again. These are Roman’s friends, they’re starting to like you.’

“Sorry dude but that was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen, holy crap,” Nick chuckled, leaning back as he crossed his arms. He looked over to Virgil finally and nodded. “So what was up with that? You looked like you were about to shit yourself.”

Virgil’s brows furrowed. “Force of habit, I guess,” he muttered out.

“Oh yeah? What were you doing, watching porn or some shit?” A grimace came over Virgil’s face as Nick asked but he tried to not look too disgusted.

Quick, what was the appropriate answer? How did people usually talk about that type of stuff? Should he take it seriously? Consider it a joke? Punch him in the arm like the jocks he saw all the time in his physics class?

Luckily, Roman cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow. “Hey, that’s not cool, he’s clearly not comfortable, Nicholas,” he said, giving Nick a leveling look.

Nick put his hands up and shrugged. “Only joking dude, what he does with his time is his business. Wouldn’t blame him if it was though!” Another laugh rang out as one of the other guys sitting next to Nick punched him in the arm, much to Virgil’s satisfaction. At least someone punched him.

“Gross, shut the hell up!” the person who punched Nick told him with an obnoxiously grating laugh. “You’re sick, dude.”

Virgil tried to ignore the conversation but as he tried to put his earbud back in, he noticed Nick had it in his ear. He just couldn’t get away from them could he? He signed up for this admittedly though.

“Sorry, anyways, Virge, why’d you jump like that, for real?” Nick finally asked as he and the other guy stopped spitting insults at each other.

“I have strict parents, they don’t like anything remotely mature. They always call my stuff out if it has language in it so I just don’t let them see any music I listen to anymore,” Virgil found himself explaining, opening his phone to play a popular song that had been making the rounds around school rather than continuing through “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” like he desperately wanted to. Just one more thing Virgil had to be careful of. No more of his own music at school from now on, got it.

“Fuck, strict parents suck! Like, seriously, let me live my fucking life!” Nick scoffed out. “I just want to vape in fucking peace, they don’t need to get all pissy about it. It’s my fucking life right?”

Virgil looked up to Roman for a possible escape from the conversation, Roman knew he wasn’t a huge fan of people even talking about drugs, but Roman was staring down at his phone, texting someone. He looked upset anyways, Virgil probably shouldn’t make him feel worse.

“I mean, I don’t know, my parents aren’t the worst. I know they love me even if they aren’t good at showing it.”

“Nah, parents are assholes, adults are assholes really. They act like they can control you, it blows!” Nick complained.

Virgil only half-listened to the conversation, the other half of his attention going to trying to not have a panic attack. He took a look at the time and put away his sketchbook after making a mental note that he didn’t get very far into the sketch.

“Hey Virge, mind getting something with me real quick?” Roman asked and Virgil’s head snapped up as he nodded quickly.

The two started to walk off in the direction of their classes, Roman letting out a sigh when they were far enough.

“That wasn’t nice of him, sorry for not really... Doing much. I know you don’t like attention being drawn to you, I didn’t know if you wanted me to step in or not.”

“No, it’s fine! I’m just, you know, getting to know your friends I guess!” Virgil laughed out a little too brightly for his usual attitude. He’d been acting more like that around Roman though lately, Roman barely seemed to notice from what he saw.

“Are you sure..? I know you really don’t like those topics and he was practically steamrolling over any chance for you to stop him. I should’ve stepped in, I’m sorry,” Roman said with a hand rubbing his temple. Virgil watched him closely, noticing the way his shoulders locked up. He clearly looked beyond displeased.

“If it’s just for my comfort, I’m fine. I’d tell you if anything was happening, yeah? It’s what best friends do,” Virgil hummed out with a smile, bumping Roman’s shoulder with his own as they continued walking.

Roman glanced over wearily, a small smile on his face as the bell finally rung, signifying the start of class. “Yeah,” he merely replied, before the two parted ways.

The popular kids were interesting for sure, they definitely weren’t exactly like Virgil had expected them to be but at the same time they kind of were. The group was a bit fluid, some of the people that Virgil and Roman sat with tended to stay every day while others came and went. There wasn’t a super strict clique structure that was upheld but there didn’t seem to be a lot of the nerdier groups represented by the group, it mostly consisted of jocks, preps, and random drifters who tended to throw good parties. All of them had some sense of social standing in the school, many people knew them, and they were generally liked outside of the some of the people in the “lower” social statuses. Virgil definitely fit into at least one of these lower statuses but he seemed to be getting a pass due to being Roman’s friends. Luckily the theater kids were essentially accepted as popular kids even if some would be inclined to disagree.

Most of the conversations they got into wasn’t anything that interested Virgil, it mainly consisted of them complaining over homework and “strict” teachers (Seriously, why the hell would teachers actually let someone vape in the middle of class?) and their parents as well as a shit ton of gossip. There was literally so much gossip. So and so cheated on her boyfriend when he was cheating on her too, someone ended up getting in trouble for a tip-off about drugs in their backpack, these two kids got in a fight over some pointless drama and one ended up shoving off a teacher when they’d attempted to break off the fight. It was way more than Virgil thought was even going on at his school as he tended to stay away from pretty much everyone possible but regardless, it all was just as stupid as he expected. Virgil had no idea how they found any excitement out of talking about how people messed up or were fucked over by someone else. He wasn't sure what he was doing anymore but if nothing else, high school was supposed to be confusing right? That's what everyone always said, no one said anything different.

A sign of progress, if Virgil could even call it that was when one of them decided to sit next to him in his English class. The two of them would chat though Virgil barely managed to understand or be engaged in the conversation half of the time. Virgil definitely hated him when he asked Virgil to make up an excuse for him while he vaped in the bathroom and Virgil barely managed to sputter out that he told Virgil he felt a little nauseous but would be ok. It was insane to see the guy come back and roll with the excuse when the teacher asked if he needed to go to the nurse when he got back. Virgil felt his stomach curl when he shot him a wink with a click of his tongue.

"So hey, I was thinking you guys, we've all been pretty busy lately," Patton said as Logan was driving them out for lunch after school.

"Yeah? What's up Pat?" Roman asked, leaning against Virgil in the backseat. Virgil very slightly leaned in, finally relieved to have it just be the three of his closest friends surrounding him as Dodie played on the radio. This was nice, it seemed more simple like this, Virgil almost forgot all his worries as the conversation started up.

"I was thinking about us doing something over fall break and whatnot! Unless there are family plans and whatnot which is cool but I'm free and so is Logan so we wanted to see if you and Virgil would want to!" Patton grinned to Virgil.

"I dunno, it sounds good to me if you wanted to," Virgil told him, before looking over to Roman. "You in?"

Roman sighed and groaned loudly, running a hand over his face. "I so want to but it might be tricky scheduling, the theater teacher is being a bit of a bitch about rehearsing over break. I can't very well miss it and I don't want to promise I'll be there. But even if I can't find a way around it, you guys can absolutely do so and send me lots of pictures!" He gently nudged Virgil's shoulder and despite the heaviness Virgil felt in his gut, he nudged back, giving a sympathetic smile.

"Hey, it's cool. Pat and Logan and I will hang out, no problem. We'll make sure to make plans for the four of us sometime soon ok?" Virgil told him, the weight coming off of him slightly as Roman let out a relaxed laugh, hugging Virgil close. Virgil felt his face grow exceedingly hot but he tried to push down the feeling.

"Yeah, that sounds awesome, I love you guys so much!"

"Oh, are you guys going to need anyone to paint sets? You know I'm always down," Virgil offered, glad to hear the excitement in Roman's answer.

The conversation kept going, they meandered from that to a new show Roman and Patton had both started watching, Logan gave them some of the details of a new robot he was helping to code. Virgil even showed Roman some of his newly finished sketches in the leather bound book (which was now getting a fair amount of use) even if Roman had already seen them halfway done. It felt easy, it felt nice, and Virgil felt like he could breathe. And that scared him a little.

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It is absolutely so strange to write popular kids, I don’t think it’s going to be the easiest for me! Luckily the next chapter is going to be very popular kid free so I don’t have to worry about that! Honestly, their dialogue is the reason the chapters take so long! I don’t find things like gossip and whatnot interesting, it doesn’t make sense since I’m neurodivergent. I’m trying to not make it too stale, I really hope it’s not stale...

Interestingly enough, I’ve had people mess with me or my friends more than once in regards to stuff like hentai (considering I’m an anime fan) so I actually do have at least two experiences where stuff p*rn-related has been brought up as a way to make fun of the groups I was hanging with.

High school is wild and of the behavior I saw from people much further up on the social ladder than I ever was, they do some really weird stuff. I didn’t even see a whole lot, I just know I definitely didn’t like it.

Be prepared for some Patton and Logan time next chapter, I think Virgil deserves it after all of this!

[ghostiewriter]

67/76 for hurt! Kiara and protective! JJ

OKAY SO😂I couldn’t decide between ansgty or goofy so I kinda mixed them, more towards the goofy side though since I have a few angsty prompts coming up! But yes, hope you enjoy! This does mention blood and injuries, just an fyi to people!

Word Count: 1.8K

Prompts: “I’m afraid.” // “I think you need stitches.”

This was supposed to be their chill day.

The day that was reserved for just them. No pogues, no adventures, no crazy ass plans. Just JJ and Kie.

Some may even call it their date day—although according to Sarah, hanging out and getting high does not count as a date. The couple were inclined to agree, these days weren’t a new occurrence. It was often how they spent their days together even before they officially became a couple, except now there was the odd make out session sprinkled throughout and far cheesier flirtation banter. But it was still their day and they cherished it.

The plan was simple enough. Kie had packed some food from the restaurant and grabbed a couple of beers, JJ was in charge of getting some decent joints from his cousin and the two of them would take the Pogue out for the day. It was probably the most romantic you’d ever see the couple get.

They had taken the boat down south along the coastline, it wasn’t very explored in terms of how often the pogues ventured down there but JJ was feeling a bit adventurous. Plus Kie had no arguments as she happily sat back and watched JJ steer, one hand resting on the metal framing in such as casual way whilst the other was on the wheel, but the brunette found herself quite happily distracted by the straining back muscles that were in her line of sight—his tank long abandoned somewhere with the sundress she had slipped on over her bikini for the ten minute drive from her house to the Chateau.

Maybe if either of them had taken a few moments to think about the area they had anchored in or even glanced at a map, the whole situation could have been avoided. So in hindsight, maybe it was slightly their fault for being so reckless. However, Kie was more inclined to blaming the bastards that dump whatever trash they wanted into the ocean, not only because of the harm it caused to the wildlife but apparently humans too.

A couple of beers in, JJ was tugging on her hand to drag her up from her seat as he terribly danced along to the music blasting from the speaker they had brought with them. “C’mon, stop being a bore!” He whined childishly as she begrudgingly got up.

“I’m not being a bore,” She laughed, letting herself sway a little to keep him happy as he continued to mouth the words to ‘Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!’ that was currently playing. “I was enjoying the show.”

“Hm, it doesn’t come for free, ya know.” He murmured as he puckered his lips, making little kissy noises until she finally gave in. And Kie had assumed that would be enough for him, that she could happily indulge in some of the crabsticks she brought. But in true unpredictable JJ fashion, he was throwing her over his shoulder without a warning. Kie squealed, her nails digging slightly into his back so she didn’t flip over.

“JJ, what the hell!” She exclaimed, but the giggles escaping her lips told him that she wasn’t really mad.

“Thought you’d appreciate the view.” JJ replied as he lightly spun around, a grin etched on his face when he heard her laugh harder.

“I don’t know,” She said, staring down at his ass. “I’ve seen better.”

“Oh, you’re going to regret that, Carrera.” He warned.

“I’m afraid,” She giggled back. “Not one of JJ Maybank’s notorious empty threats!”

“Have I told you how hot you look today, Kie?” He asked suddenly in an oddly innocent and un-JJ like way.

“Like I need you to tell me, I know I look great.” She sassed back, letting out a small gasp when she felt him slap her ass. She could practically hear the smirk on his face.

“I think you need to cool down a little.” He retorted, already making his way towards the stern of the boat. Her eyes widened slightly as she tried her best to hold onto him.

“JJ, DON’T YOU DA—AHHH!”

By the time she surfaced, she could already hear JJ’s laughs. She ran her hands through her hair, pushing it out of her face as she looked up at the blond with a glare. He was grinning innocently back at her.

“You look cool in there.” He snickered.

“You’re an ass.” She called back, moving her arms in gentle circles to keep herself afloat.

“Ah, but I’m your ass.” He grinned back and she didn’t disagree. Eventually, she had managed to convince him to come in with her—of course the asshole canon-balled in—the water actually feeling great against the midday heat.

They tried not to venture too far from the boat, although that wasn’t a problem when they realised quickly that most of the surrounding area was just marshy and not great for swimming.

“God, this feels horrible.” Kiara muttered as she glanced down, as though she would actually be able to see much. Still, didn’t stop her from trying.

“I kinda like it,” JJ spoke up, seeming to enjoy himself despite Kiara’s constant requests to head back to the Pogue. “Feels like I’m walking on a marshmallow.” He added nonchalantly.

“Congratulations, your eight year old self’s dream came true,” She commented with a small chuckle, almost as if she was imagining young JJ with his horribly done buzzcut. “Now can we please head back? I’m fucking starving.”

“Geez, you get cranky when you’re hungry.” He teased, promptly avoiding the splash that she had directed his way. He only cackled, yelling that the last one to make it to the boat gets a warm beer before he got his head-start back.

Kie only laughed, calling him a cheater as she followed suit. Except getting out of the marsh was a little harder that she assumed, kicking her feet and swearing under her breath whenever she got stuck again.

She felt a nip—or maybe it was more than a nip but the adrenaline of the competition was coursing through her—and when she went to kick her leg free once again, she felt a sharp pain run up her leg. Kiara didn’t even remember screaming until JJ was on his way back, eyes wide in concern.

“Kie, what’s wrong? What happened?” His eyes glazed over her as though he was trying to see the cause of her scream.

“M-My leg.” She whimpered, feeling her eyes well up with tears as she tried to free her leg once again, only to feel another shot of pain.

“Jellyfish?” He asked but she simply shook her head. “Okay, let’s get you back to the boat.” He murmured, heart racing when he saw some red residue on his hand after he helped her tug her leg free.

It was a hassle but JJ didn’t care, his first priority was getting Kie back somewhere safe and right now, that was the boat. He helped her up before he pulled himself onboard, his eyes falling onto her leg.

His eyes widened when he saw the massive cut on her leg, the lower half of her left leg covered in blood. He could feel his throat closing up, mind racing and hands shaking. Everything around him seemed to drown out as he stared at her leg, and it wasn’t until she felt her tugging his hand and calling his name that he seemed to snap out whatever trance he was in.

“Right, sorry!” He quipped before he grabbed a towel and placed it down on the seats before gently lifting her on top of it. He then disappeared to grab the first-aid kit they kept on board, but Kie didn’t miss the way his hands were a little shaky when he placed it down beside her, fingers fiddling as he attempted to open the box.

She won’t lie, the salt water made it sting like a bitch. It hurt and she probably should’ve been more alarmed at the amount of blood dripping down her leg, but she had never seen JJ so shaken up. She didn’t peg him as the squeamish type, so she couldn’t really understand what’s got him so freaked out.

“Jay…” She whispered softly, placing her hands over his. He finally looked up at her, sniffling slightly and it was then she noticed how red his eyes looked—though she wasn’t sure if that was because he was crying (or trying his hardest not to) or if he had just gotten some salt water in his eyes—but either way, she hated the broken look on his face.

“I-I’m sorry, I should’ve listened to you when you said we should head back.” He began to ramble, not seeming to have control over his words. “I shouldn’t have even thrown you in the water in the first place!”

“JJ, it’s okay.” She whispered, turning her body to face him as much as she could without moving her leg. “This isn’t your fault.”

“I’m still sorry—”

“Nope, no more apologising.” She scolded lightly, giving him a small—and hopefully comforting—smile. “C’mon, Doc, fix me up.” She added, nudging his shoulder a little. She relaxed a little when she saw the small smile on his face.

“Dr Maybank to your rescue.” He huffed out as he opened up the first aid kit, grabbing some wipes before he gently began to clean the wound and surrounding area. She watched him carefully, lip tugged between her teeth to contain her winces. She noticed the little crease between his eyebrows as he focused at the task at hand. If she didn’t feel a shooting pain down her leg every time he even touched it, she would’ve basked in the adorable scene of focused JJ.

“I think you need stiches.” JJ spoke up, staring at her wound with a thoughtful face.

She looked down at her leg, trying not to wince. It was a clean cut, probably from some broken glass hidden in the marsh. And it was deep, but Kiara didn’t think it was stitch-level deep.

“You’re being overdramatic, just need to wrap it up and dose myself up on some paracetamol.” Kie said with a roll of her eyes.

“Hey, I watched Grey’s Anatomy with Pope,” JJ said, hands on his hips as he looked between Kie and her leg. “I think that makes me pretty qualified to say that you need stitches.”

“You watched one episode, dumbass.” She scoffed. “Just drive back, I don’t need you performing amateur surgery on my knee.”

Except it had taken at least fifteen minutes before Kie finally convinced JJ that she was comfortable and fine and that he could stop fussing over her. He only narrowed his eyes at her before pressing a kiss to her forehead and handing her a joint, saying it would help with the pain.

“You know, it’s kinda cute.” Kie called out, moving her eyes away from the passing scenery as she looked at JJ from over her shoulder.

“What is?” He asked.

“Your little protective mama bear side.” She said with a snicker. JJ rolled his eyes in response, but there was a smile on his lips.

“Well excuse me for being a caring boyfriend.” He huffed out.

“I said it was cute!”

“Yeah, yeah! Whatever!”

“Uh oh, mama’s mad.”

[puckinghell]

Wanting Is Enough | Leon Draisaitl

Summary: seven // august by Taylor Swift Words: 2k Note: I was just minding my own business, thinking I wasn’t gonna bother with the folklore project anymore, when someone asked if I would write for Leon. Does this answer your question? Not proofread, we die like men. 

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Leon remembers you.

Sure, it’s a little fuzzy around the edges, the way memories will get when they’re stored away for so long. He was only seven when he knew you, and the storyline has become frazzled; he doesn’t always remember your face exactly, and he knows your name only because his mom told him.

He still remembers he loved you, though. Thinks he loves you still, now.

He remembers the swing over the creek. It had felt like a million feet in the sky, back then, but looking back it was only a tiny swing built with ropes and planks found at random sheds around the neighborhood. He doesn’t know how many of the neighbor’s kids had helped built it, but he remembers how you used to giggle as you swung across the creek.

You loved the creek, told him time and time again how it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Sometimes, you said it was the only beautiful thing in the world, and that’s where Leon would disagree.

After all, you were beautiful, too.

You never jumped into the water, always too scared, even though he used to tell you it’d be fine.

“I wouldn’t let anything hurt you,” he said, and your smile was always soft.

“I know. Still not jumping.”

There were other things you would trust him to protect you from, though.

“I think your house is haunted,” Leon said, wrapping his small arms around your tiny body. You were shivering a little, tears streaking down your face. “That’s why your dad is always mad.”

Your dad would scream all the time, so loudly Leon could hear it even from his house. You lived next to him but the houses weren’t that close together, and Leon didn’t think it was normal that he could hear.

His mom would tell him to ignore it, but how could he? If your dad was screaming, that meant you were crying, Leon had learned, and if you were crying he couldn’t just do nothing.

So he climbed through your window.

It wasn’t easy but Leon was strong for his age and there was a big oak tree next to your house that could be used as a ladder if only he managed to jump high enough the reach the first branch.

Somehow he managed to get into your room and you’d ran to him immediately, throwing yourself at him until he hugged you tight.

Even at that age, there was nothing Leon hated more than to see you cry.

“You should come live with me,” Leon mumbled into your ear. “We can be pirates, and then you won’t have to cry.”

“If I go live with you, would I learn how to skate?” you sniffed in response. You’d been bugging Leon about teaching you how to skate, because he was so good at it and you loved watching him fly across the ice.

He always looked so free, and you longed to feel that type of freedom in the form of the icy wind on your face.

Suddenly, before Leon could have answered, another thought occurred to you.

“Your parents wouldn’t want me to live with you.”

Leon shrugged. “You can hide in the closet whenever they come into my bedroom. Or you could pack your dolls and a sweater and we’ll move to India forever.”

Of course neither of these options were possible, but at age seven, it feels like everything in the world is a possibility if you just want it hard enough.

You had never wanted anything more.

“Why India?” you questioned.

Leon noticed your breathing had calmed down while talking to him, and you weren’t crying anymore. Even for that reason alone, he started talking more; about your neighbor across the street who came from India and gave you candy all the time, about his white family dog that had rolled through the freshly mowed grass and ended up colored key lime green, about pirates and princesses and a talking mouse.

He made up stories until you fell asleep, and then he wondered if one day, the story of you two would become a story that people told each other, too. He liked the thought of that: your love would last until nobody told your story anymore.

And Leon wanted your love to last forever.

--

But things don’t usually go the way you want them to.

--

The August heat is sweltering, sticky and heavy the way only August can be. It’s not like that in July, not in Germany, where July still holds a hint of spring, with crispy mornings and darkness setting early evening. In September, the leaves will change color and the air will hold the smell of rain, but in August, there’s just the heat.

“I can’t believe you canceled on me for him.” Your best friend’s voice doesn’t sound upset per se, but it sounds disbelieving. To be fair, it’s really not something you would normally do.

But.

Leon is lying face down in the grass, tiny droplets of sweat forming onto the tanned skin of his back where his spine dips. You can’t imagine it’s comfortable to have the grass pressing into his face, even though it was freshly mowed this morning; you can still smell the scent of it, if you really try.

“I’m sorry,” you tell her before you hang up. You’re not sure if you mean it.

When you canceled your plans to go swimming with her, this morning, you hadn’t even known if Leon was going to call at all. You canceled just in case he would, and you’d been glad for it when your phone rang early afternoon.

“Meet me behind the mall,” was his greeting. “Ice cream. My treat.”

The heat melted your ice cream fast enough that it was dripping down your fingers before you could even get halfway through, and Leon had laughed at you as he stuffed his entire ice cream cone in his mouth in two bites.

You only got him back three months ago.

You let your eyes fall back onto Leon. His eyes are closed, eyelashes fluttering against his cheek, but you know he’s not sleeping.

Sometimes, when you look at him, you remember that you’re on a time limit, and you wish you could just write your name into his skin, so he’ll always just be yours. You don’t like the idea that he’ll go back to Canada and belong to the city of Edmonton, and forget about you.

You allow yourself the simply pleasure of tracing his spine with your index finger, featherlight; his muscles jump where your finger passes.

“Hmm,” Leon hums, not opening his eyes. It’s an acknowledgement that he’s awake, but it doesn’t seem like he feels the need to move or say anything.

To be fair, it’s way too hot for that.

“It’s kinda crazy that we ran into each other like that,” you whisper. Your hand reaches the part of his spine where his back meets his ass and you let your hand rest there, not daring to go any further.

Leon opens his eyes, now.

“I recognized you right away,” he says, with a smile. “We hadn’t talked in years.”

“Since we were seven,” you agree.

“But it felt like we never missed a beat.”

--

You ran into Leon at a coffee shop, back in May, and you’d just been pouring sugar into your latte when you’d heard your name, in a voice that was foreign and familiar all at the same time.

You didn’t have to search your brain for who it was.

“Leon!”

Leon had been all smiles and polite chatter, but he looked so tired and worn out, and you weren’t the slightest bit surprised when he ordered a triple espresso.

“You won’t sleep for the next week,” you’d joked, and Leon had replied: “Wasn’t going to, anyway.”

You still don’t know why he’d immediately decided to trust you, but he’d asked you to sit down for coffee and you hadn’t been busy so you’d agreed.

He told you about where he worked now, in Edmonton. Played hockey for a living, in the NHL. He’d come home for the summer because they’d not made the playoffs, again. You didn’t really know exactly what that meant but you could tell it pained Leon to talk about it, so you hadn’t asked.

He said he was tired, and that he wished he could skip summer entirely, but also wished summer would last forever. That he felt like he could sleep for months, but when the night fell, his brain never seemed to quiet down enough for him to actually fall asleep.

That he remembered you, from when you were seven. Leon’s parents had moved when you were seven, and there hadn’t really been any way for you to stay friends. But he remembered a lot.

You talked about the swing over the creek, that wasn’t there anymore. It broke when you were nine, sent a neighboring kid down into the creek with a splash. It was one of the kids that used to make mean jokes about your father, so you hadn’t felt bad for him.

Your father left when you were 11, and you hadn’t really felt bad about that, either.

When you were 8, you dressed up like a pirate for Halloween, but it didn’t feel quite the same, without Leon.

You still braided your hair. Leon still knew how to braid it for you.

At the end of it, Leon had said he would like to see you again and you’d exchanged numbers.

You don’t think you’ve ever wanted a call so much in your life.

--

There’s a small problem, with your current arrangement with Leon.

Namely, that he’s going to go back to Edmonton at the end of August, and you’re falling in love with him.

You should’ve known.

“Want another one?”

Leon holds up the half empty bottle of wine, raising a questioning eyebrow. You’d been staring into space, you realize, and he noticed it, because he somehow always notices everything about you.

“Sure,” you answer, holding out your glass and letting him pour the wine.

There’s a fire crackling in your backyard. The night isn’t cold, on the contrary, but fires are somewhat of a summer staple around the neighborhood and Leon has made it somewhat of a hobby to build the most perfect one.

“You’ve been thinking very loudly,” Leon says.

You turn to look at him. The orange glow of the fire illuminates the bright blue of his eyes, and there’s shadows cast onto his face. It makes him even more beautiful than he always is and there’s almost something magical about it.

You almost say it, then.

What happens when I lose you?

Almost, but not quite. 

“Thinking about you,” you answer instead, and it’s not a lie but it’s not the truth either. Leon takes it the way you knew he would, and he reaches out and extends his hand towards you. You stand up and go to him willingly, let yourself curl into his lap, your face hidden in the crook where his neck meets his shoulder, his strong arms wrapped around you like armor.

He’s everywhere, all around you, and it becomes less scary when you’re this close to him.

Leon’s voice is soft when he mutters you name.

“Yeah?”

“I know this is probably not the right thing to say this, but I need you to know that I want August to last forever.”

He doesn’t have to tell you what the words really mean, beneath the surface, where the truth always hides.

It can’t happen, but I want this. I want us.

You suppose sometimes, wanting is enough. At least for right now.

You kiss him, then, press your lips against his in the most careful way. He tastes like red wine and like the smoke of the fire, the freshly mowed grass, the heat of the day.

He feels like summer.

--

When Leon goes home, he kisses you so deeply you can feel it tingle in your toes, but he doesn’t promise you he’ll call.

You guess you can’t live for the hope of it all forever, and sometimes wanting isn’t enough after all. You hadn’t really thought that it would be.

You’d always known you’d lose him to hockey: and maybe in a way, he was never yours to lose.

So August slips away into a moment in time, sipped away with a bottle of red wine, tangled up in white sheets. And September comes with her golden leaves and the crispy mornings and the rain heavy in the air, and Leon doesn’t call and summer feels like forever ago.

But you remember Leon. And Leon remembers you.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

i lost a friend

i wrote this in october and ending up abandoning it, and then realized i wasn’t over it and ended up finishing it. this isn’t my usual style, an minor wolf star, and a hint of Cedric x reader. i’m terrified of the reaction to this as this is a very personal piece so please be nice. 

-

Tears pricked your eyes as your whole body suddenly felt hot. Your breath raced and suddenly it felt as though your whole house knew what you had done. Your hands trembled as your read line after line of absolute scathing attacks... all of them true. You suddenly felt sick and stood up from the table, rushing from the Great Hall. Your friend’s confused stares followed you out, but they seemed to burn more than anything.

how dare you

You choked back a sob as the letter was crushed in your fingers. You collapsed on a bench, tears finally coming free.

you have no idea what you put me through

How did you do that? How could you have done that? The last few days seemed to blur together as you scanned your memories wondering if you should’ve, could’ve done anything differently. Would... would it still have been the same way?

i’ll never forgive you

The words seemed to burn in your head as you choked on sobs, your whole body shaking. Two bodies familiar to you placed themselves next to you. “You alright there love?” Freddie’s voice came softly from your left as Georgie tucked a piece of hair behind your ear on your right.

You betrayed me.

You shook your head, running away from the twins, not realizing the stares that followed you were ones of concern and worry, not ones of hate. How could anyone blame you though?

You were a shitty friend

The words seemed to burn for the rest of the day as letter after letter followed landing on your bed as you stared at the wall. Your dorm mates came through, always stopping to check in on you. No matter what they did, they couldn’t seem to get through the insults running through your brain.

Everyone hates you.

Your eyes flickered up to the clock hours later, merely to realize you had missed all your classes along with dinner. You pulled yourself from your bed, changing into comfier clothes, only to return to your bed. A soft knock at the door pulled you from your wandering and you slowly got up to answer it. There stood Cedric looking concerned as ever. But... that concern couldn’t be for you, could it?

Everyone hates you.

“Just... go Cedric, okay? Go.” You said, getting ready to close the door. He put his hands on the door, successfully stopping you from closing it. “How’d you even get up here?” You mumbled as you stepped away from the door, admitting defeat. Cedric sighed, putting his hands in his pockets, leaning against the doorframe.

“A few rather simple charms couldn’t stop me from getting me up here to see my best friend, especially not when I’m worried about her.” You sat back down on your bed, turning away from him. “What’s wrong?” He asked as he sat down next to you on the empty space of the bed.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Cedric turned to give you a look. “I’m serious Ced, I’m fine.”

“Pushing me away-”

“I’m not pushing you away, okay?! Just… let me deal with it, alright?” Cedric was no fool and when he looked into your eyes, he knew something was hurting you. But he knew you too well and knew no one would ever understand your pain if you didn’t want them to. You were stubborn and would insist you were fine, even if it was the death of you.

I can’t believe you would do that

The next morning, you found yourself wandering into your father’s office. He glanced up at you from where he was presumably grading homework, and he quickly stood up from his desk, making his way towards you. “Hi.” You offered, suddenly trying to make yourself small. You didn’t know why you were here. He stood near his desk, leaning up against it.

“What’s wrong darling?” He had been the one to walk you through those steps just two days ago, hold your hand as you made one of the hardest decisions of your life. You shrugged. “She sent me a nasty letter yesterday. And multiple others. I’m basically the world’s worst person in her eyes. And I uhm.. I can’t help but think she’s right.”

“It’s bullshit.” Remus said, startling you, causing you to finally meet his eyes. Sure, Sirius swore, he swore worse than you did, you got it from him, but Remus would very rarely let a curse word leave his mouth, even when he wanted to. He always claimed it was the teacher in him. “It’s bullshit (Y/N). You do know that right? That was the hardest decision I’ve ever watched you make, one of the hardest decisions I think you’ll ever make. But you did the right thing, you know that right?”

Just because you thought it was the right thing doesn’t mean it was

Her words burned in your mind. “I.. I don’t know” You said, beginning to cry again. “I mean, I know rationally, I probably saved her life, but there’s still part of me thinks that, I don’t know, that she’s right.”

“She’s wrong.” He said firmly. “I would beg to differ, your Dad would beg to differ, and I know quite a few Gryffindors, along with that Hufflepuff friend of yours that would disagree with her.” You thought back to Cedric, and the twins. Concern. That’s what had been etched on their faces that day, not hate.

“You did the right thing. Even if it wasn’t the easiest thing.”

I’ll never forgive you

Your throat seemed to burn with tears as you walked from his office to the Great Hall for lunch. Why were you crying? You were the one who had messed up… right? You hadn’t even realized you had walked past the Great Hall and out into the courtyard, your feet having a mind of their own. And as you heard footsteps, you looked up to realize that there stood Cedric and you were no longer in the castle but actually halfway across the bridge. And as you looked up in the sea of concern in the brown eyes that usually had you so mesmerized (so maybe you did have the tiniest crush on your best friend, but that was not important at this moment), everything you had felt since that day, fear, concern, shame, guilt, anger, hurt, sadness, hit you full force and suddenly you felt your feet stumbling forward into your best friend’s shirt, a sob escaping your lips that Cedric usually loved so much. And then Cedric was pulling you into a hug, making you feel safer than you ever had, making every bad thought slowly dissipate. His heart ached for the girl he longed for and only ever wanted to make smile. Slowly, you began to tell him the events of the last few days, ending with a mumbled, “and she’s right.” Cedric’s dark eyes looked back at you in shock. And you stammered out a, “and even if she’s not… you know… she was on the team here, you know what she’s like, i’m so afraid of… of the retaliation.” you whispered. You expected retaliation, you had watched her destroy everyone’s life who had crossed her during her time at school while you were friends, but you felt it was retaliation you deserved.

“She won’t retaliate. She wouldn’t dare. But even if she did… you know she’s wrong. You do know that right? You did the right thing and I hate to see that she’s trying to manipulate you but you did nothing wrong. She has no right to treat you this way. You’re the best person I know, and you didn’t betray her. You saved her life.” You looked up at him, mouth open, no words coming out. Cedric wordlessly pulled you into a hug, making sure you understand that it would never be, and had never been you.

I’d apologize, if I thought it might make a difference, or make you listen,

I’d apologize, if it was black and white, but life is different, just try to listen to me now

[skeetlehand]

HI!!!!! I have been tagged™™™™ by @gheysnakelady and so here are my Hot Opinions!! :D

who is your favourite member on the smp?

I mean, i have SEVERAL faves: awesamdude, eret, wilbur (rip), techno and phil - I’ll watch sometimes, tubbo and tommy, but if you’re going by who I watch th

when did you first start watching the smp and what made you get into it?

Oh, it was thanks to the sudden influx of dream smp animatics all over my youtube home page - and tbh, they were all pretty good! and so, i was like: ???!!! and started watching and now i religiously check the dsmp tag for plot updates so i guess that’s where we’re at rn… haha…

what is your favourite part about watching the smp?

Just watching these creators make these amazing stories+narrative - it’s free tv! i am entertained! even just watching them interact, this large community of a variety of streamers/youtubers, in the most diverse topics (not all of them are really minecraft-centered, but they are all great!). The idea of showcasing underrated creators in a platform where they all have the opporunity to shine, is just a wholesome idea tbh

what piece of cursed lore is your favourite?

…………. the toe…………. 

who is your favourite duo on the smp?

Miss the ol’ tubbo n tommy dynamic! But i do enjoy techno and ranboo - they’re hilarious, too.

… Niki and Jack give me Stress… i try to think about them like: team rocket! it works! almost! i try not to think about them murdering children on purpose and more like a little evil duo who cause problems and miss. please-

who are your comfort streamers?

I like to watch awesamdude (he’s great!!! <3) bbh and tubbo, when I want some nice times where I might play minecraft myself... or just relax

who is your favourite character?

mexican dream, no sweat. tubbo and tommy tie for second second place, and back when elections were a thing, so was Big Q (he still is! he says the most brutal things these days but also ,,,, stream me dude pleas-).

who do you think is the best actor (s) on the smp?

A LOT OF PEOPLE OKAY LET ME ELABORATE ON A FEW:

- schlatt. evil president. wilbur. chekov’s gun but tragic. do i need to say more.

- bad is actually really good! and terrifying! surprisingly! because he’s.,,. he’s supposed to be one of my comfort streamers.... you should check out his eggpire!!! egg for the egg god

- tommy is good at subtleties, for someone who isn’t very... subtle... yknow? I was surprised by the AMOUNT of detail that went into the exile arc - and he played it adequately

who on the smp would you like to be best friends with?

ajgLJHGdljhagjJHGJHLGDS you can’t ask me that!!! they all seem like cool people and id like to meet them but also i am a mess so hhhhh

what are your favourite quotes said on the smp?

i have a lot here too but here are just some that I can think of rn haha:

connor’s whole: “you’re not a bad person, and I hope you find what you’re looking for” had me BAWLING aaa

tommy’s dialogue with dream during their battle was good, but when 

a) tommy asks tubbo: “but what am I with out you?” and tubbo responds: “yourself.” I CRIED AAAA

b) tommy said: “Hey Dream, Dream, kill me.” because he knew dream wouldn’t, because he knew why dream wouldn’t - CHILLS

which part of the smp made you feel the saddest?

- ... pogtopia...

- Wilbur/ghostbur (out of character? in character? i don’t know which’d be worse, actually) admitting that he only wanted to make tommy president so he could blow it up seconds later

- .... tommy’s exile....

- A lot of tommy’s interactions with Techno have me kinda... :( ... you know? Like, the pit, the manberg vs. pogtopia war, doomsday - it feels like they keep shouting the same lines at each other, but neither of them really hear nor understand what the other is saying. Expecially doomsday - techno siding with dream, predictable but also hurtful, kind of. I can see why - but also techno was the closest to learning what had happened over the exile, and yet, the farthest from understanding it.

- doomsday was equally frustrating, hopeless, and depressing tbh

which part of the smp made you feel the happiest?

A LOT OF THINGS: but here are just the ones on the top of my head

- Quackity killing Schlatt and leaving manberg like: ✌️😠✌️

- When Tommy finally realized that dream was just. manipulating him. YOU GO funky exile child, LEAVE!!! 

- PUNZ coming in to save the day with: “you should’ve paid me more”???? YES YES YES

- Sam giving tommy little tasks to build the hotel?? wholesome. Acknowledging tommy’s been through a lot, abnd being one of the few people to know most of the exile story that tommy still won’t tell anyone about outright? 😭 (and i am looking AWAY from the possibility that this is just for profit, nonononono, not in MY line of sight-)

be honest, who do you simp for? (ayo if anyone says tommy or tubbo i will 🔪)

....schlatt (who ironically, was somewhat my introduction into the smp), but only cause he was a TERRIFYINGLY good actor, and he sounds EXACTLY like what id imagine an evil president would sound like 😳 what can i say, i like my voices...? jkashdlhfgal closest ill get to simping anyway so all of you can just take this and go, go elsewhere-

what’s your favorite stream?

Hmm... one of the chaos ones? kjahdlkg i can’t decide...

what’s your least favorite stream?

The butcher army stream. I mean, it was good I loved the dialogue and set up... but like... story-wise, butcher army didn’t accomplish anything in the end, their existence was as volatile as the person they hunted and tbh nothing was gained from it, just lost and made worse. Hot opinion though, so take it with caution.

what’s something about the smp fandom that makes you sad?

Hmm... A somewhat common point: sometimes people can be really critical about characters, but like, not in a good way - just straight up bashing. I get disliking a character but it makes me :( when i don’t see reason for it. Or bashing someone’s opinion of a character. Look, we’re all interpreters here, but like.... cmon.... someone might just have a different view of a character and that’s fine! 

for example: not a big fan of c!phil as a father. Some interpretations say he’s not a father because phil never said he was. Some might say he was an okay dad, and some might say tommy was never his son. all of these opinions are valid. another one of my opinions: tommy’s “punishments” were injust, some might agree with the idea that they were blown out of proportion and he didn’t really learn anything from them, some might disagree and say he got what he deserved. all of these opinions are valid -but on my end, maybe not the ones where people go: “aww man, c!tommy should’ve died cause he’s so annoying, and he totally deserved it.” did we watch the same arcs, buddies on that end???? are you okay????

Just, i get hating a character, but it bums me out when i see someone just straight up say “this character should die. cause they suck” - why though? story-wise, how would that play out? what

ANYWAY THIS IS ALL MY OPINION DON’T TAKE THIS TOO SERIOUSLY PLEASE

what’s something about the smp fandom that makes you happy?

Yall are great!! I love how much we’ve created - art, animatics, writing -all of you <3 <3 <3 and also all the discussion about the story, the characters, the interactions - I’ve found a community in some groups and honestly it’s just *chef kiss* great!!! yall are super cool and awesome and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!!

anyway, for the spread: i tag - @territorialufo, @an-inspired-eternity and @n-ugg... don’t feel pressured to do this but if you guys want 😳 

[waitineedaname]

frame the halves and call them a whole

also on ao3

--

“Alright, I’ve got a bad one.”

“Oh, lord.”

“Brace yourself.”

“I’m bracing!” Sasha made a show of gripping the short carpet on her living room floor and Tim grinned, leaning back against her coffee table.

“Would you rather… date a spider with the head of a human, or a human with the head of a spider?”

“Jesus. I see someone has been reading the discredited statements.”

“Guilty.” Tim shrugged cheekily. 

The two of them were sitting on the floor in Sasha’s flat, and she’d long since lost track of what time it was. Ever since they’d been moved to the Archives, they’d made an agreement to go out and do something together once a week. Sometimes that meant getting sloshed and losing at pub trivia, sometimes that meant dragging each other to whatever new film had made it to theaters that week, and sometimes that meant playing sleepover games in the middle of the night, as if they were twelve year olds and not thirty-somethings with 9-to-5’s. Neither of them had the energy to go out drinking and there wasn’t anything good in the theaters that week, so the third option had won out. They’d ended up on the floor when Sasha made an ill-advised comment about not being ticklish and Tim called her bluff. She’d dissolved into hysterical giggles and he’d said something about how being an oldest sibling meant having a sixth sense for someone’s ticklish spots, and then he’d gone very still and quiet. She’d taken his hand and squeezed and initiated the game of would-you-rather they found themselves in now.

“Okay. Let me think about this.” She drummed her fingers on her lips contemplatively. Tim smiled in that fond way he did when he didn’t want to outright laugh at her. “Are the human and spider bits proportional?”

“Ooh, very good question, Sash. Let’s say they’re the normal sizes for your average spiders and humans.”

“So my options are a human head scuttling around on spider legs or a human with an absolutely microscopic spider head?”

“Yep!” Tim said, popping the ‘p.’

“I’m going to go with option A. I mean, if it’s a human head, I could still hold a conversation with it, right? And I don’t think spiders would make good kissers.”

“I think some of our statement givers would disagree with that judgment.”

“Please don’t tell me we have a statement about a human body with a spider head. I don’t think I could take it.”

“Sure do! Statement number 9170108, or something like that. Some freaked out old coot convinced his neighbor’s head was fake and he was keeping a tiny little spider underneath the fake head.”

��Christ. I’m glad Jon didn’t ask me to look into that one. I might have quit on the spot.” Sasha laughed.

“Aw, and then leave me and Martin to deal with Jon? You know how he gets with the spider ones.” 

“Hm, fair. The Archives need someone sensible around.”

“Hey, you’re not the sole voice of reason down there!”

“You’re right. Martin can be fairly practical when he wants.” She failed to bite back her smirk when Tim clutched his chest, feigning pain.

“Oh, how you wound me, Ms. James! Here I was, thinking it was Tim and Sasha versus the world, but you’ve betrayed me for Martin!”

“Is that your proposal for a Scott Pilgrim reboot? Am I Ramona in this scenario?”

“No, we’re both Scott Pilgrim because combined, we can equal the pure sexual energy of one Michael Cera.”

“Eugh! Gross!” She retched and kicked at him, making him laugh. 

“I’m kidding!”

“You better be! Any and all horniness for Michael Cera is banned in this flat!”

“That’s fair.” He caught her foot and shoved it back at her. “Knives and Ramona were both way too good for him, anyway. They should’ve ended up together at the end.”

“That’s the first intelligent thing you’ve said all night.”

“You’re really not pulling any punches tonight, huh?”

“Nope. My turn. Would you rather...” She crossed her arms and stared him down long enough to make him squirm, “get stoned with Jon or Elias?”

Tim groaned so loud she worried her neighbors would complain. “No. Absolutely not. You cannot make me choose that.”

“Hey, you asked about spider people!”

“Yeah, and I’d argue that dealing with my bosses while stoned is worse than a human head skittering around on the walls!”

“Oh, come on. Jon isn’t that bad.”

“Sasha. You were friends with him in Research. I was friends with him in Research. Last time we got drinks, he talked about South American moths for forty minutes. I’m getting a headache just thinking about listening to him while he’s stoned.”

“Maybe it’ll calm him down.”

“Maybe.” Tim pouted, and Sasha did her best not to giggle. “Alright fine. I choose Jon, but only because I cannot imagine Elias getting within eyesight of anything as fun as weed without shriveling up and acting like an affronted Victorian gentleman.”

“Okay, first of all, the Victorians loved drugs, they were high on opiates all the time-"

"Like hell am I doing opiates with Elias."

"Second of all, I may have looked into what Elias was like before he got promoted…” She trailed off and bit back a laugh when Tim's jaw dropped.

“No.” 

“And he was a major stoner.”

“You can’t just say these things. I refuse to accept it.”

“I’m serious!”

“Are we talking about the same Elias? The Elias Bouchard that uses words like grandiloquent and apropos? The Elias Bouchard that gets pissy if you round up on your time card?”

“You know what’s even worse?”

“Please don’t make it worse.”

“I’ve seen him wear those socks with weed patterns on them.”

“I told you not to make it worse.” Tim wailed and covered his face. “I swear, if I saw that, I would gouge my eyes out without hesitation.” Sasha patted his leg sympathetically. 

“Well, good thing you chose Jon, then.”

“I guess so! Fuck’s sake.” He sighed and flopped over onto his side to lie on the floor. Sasha laughed at him goodnaturedly, and then joined him on the floor. She expected him to be thinking of his next would-you-rather prompt, but after a long minute of him silently running his fingers through the carpet, he surprised her by asking, “Do you ever miss Jon?”

“Sorry?” She said, confused. “We see him every day, Tim.”

“No, I…” He huffed, “You know what I mean. Do you miss the Jon we knew in Research?”

“Oh…” Sasha caught onto his drift and fell silent, unsure what to say. Tim was clearly brimming with emotions that he was struggling to get out, so she let him take a minute.

“Not saying he’s a completely different person now, but… I don’t know. We used to get drinks with him. He used to laugh at our jokes. He used to make jokes. Weird, dark jokes, but still jokes, you know? But these days, it’s all business, all the time. I don’t think I’ve seen him smile in months. All… All snappish comments and ‘research this, call this statement giver, stop goofing off during work hours.’ Never mind that just a year ago, he was the one using work hours to show us cat videos because he got distracted during his lunch break.” The side of Tim’s face was smushed into the floor and his one free eye was focused on the whorls he was creating with his fingers in the carpet. Up close as they were, Sasha could see the light scar on his chin that he’d once told her was the result of an ill-advised dare as a child, when his brother had challenged him to see if they could jump off the back deck of their house. She touched it, and he leaned into her hand, eyes distant and sad. “I just…” He spoke softly, “I miss my friend.”

“I miss him too.” Sasha said honestly, though she knew Tim was taking it harder than she was. “You know it’s not your fault, right?”

“I know that.” Tim said, and she believed him. “It’s this stupid job. The stupid Archives. I miss being in Research, where I could make fun of the weirdos in the Archives, but now we’re the weirdos in the Archives.”

“We work at an institute that studies the supernatural. I think we’re the weirdos no matter which department we’re in.” She said, aiming for some levity and feeling relieved when Tim let out a soft huff of laughter.

“Fair. Still. The vibes in there are…”

“Bad.” She finished for him.

“You can say that again.” He finally shifted to look at her again. “If you were the Head Archivist-”

“Tim-” She warned, not wanting to dig up an old sore point. 

“I’m serious. If you were the Archivist, do you think you’d act like this?”

“Would I push you away, you mean.” She said. He shrugged and nodded. “I don’t know. I really don’t, Tim. I’d like to say I wouldn’t, but who knows what kind of pressure it involves. I can be just as intense as Jon when I feel pressured.”

“Yeah, but you’d be way nicer than him.”

“You don’t know that.” Sasha said, firm but gentle. 

“...Guess I don’t.” Tim sighed and shut his eyes. She reached down and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.

“Next time you’re missing Jon, call me instead, okay? Or Martin, he’d love that.” She ran her thumb over his and gave him a small smile. “You can always count on me.”

His gaze is impossibly soft as he looks up at her, and he seems to almost forget to respond at first. “Yeah.” He finally says. “I can always count on you, Sash.” A cheeky grin spread across his face, breaking the tender moment. “The Pilgrim to my Scott.”

She laughed and let go of his hand to push his shoulder into the leg of the coffee table playfully. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It makes perfect sense!” He protested despite his own laughter. “Okay, maybe it doesn’t make sense, but it’s the thought that counts. I’m poetic.”

“No, you’re sleep-deprived.” She sat up enough to eye the microwave from her vantage point in the kitchen. “Oh lord, it’s 2am, no wonder. You always get sappy at 2am.”

“I do not!”

“You do. Big sap.” She patted his cheek playfully and stood. “Want me to get you some extra blankets for the couch?”

“That’d be great.” He hauled himself to his feet, groaning all the way. She snickered.

“You sound like an old man.”

“I’ll have you know, I’m young and spry.” He complained, stretching.

“Mhm.” She rolled her eyes and went to the closet.

“At the prime of my life.”

“And yet you make dad noises getting out of a chair.”

“Hey, lying on the floor isn’t good for your back! Aren’t you older than me anyway?”

“Maybe, but I’m not the one complaining about my back.” She cut off whatever complaint he had prepared by throwing a quilt at him. He caught it and stuck his tongue out at her. She returned the gesture and grabbed another blanket. “Are two blankets good?”

“That’s perfect.” He took the blanket gratefully and settled on the couch. “Should I make breakfast as thanks?”

“You don’t have to,” Sasha immediately said out of politeness, but then added, “But if you want to make pancakes…”

“Understood. I’ll see you bright and early with some pancakes, then.” Tim smiled up at her and made himself comfortable on the couch.

“See you in the morning, Tim.” She turned to walk to her room, but stopped at the doorway when Tim piped up again.

“Sasha?”

“Hm?” She looked back at him and saw his best flirty grin on his face. He winked and blew a kiss at her. More than used to his nonsense, she gasped and pretended to catch the invisible kiss, then promptly put her hand to mouth and pretended to eat the kiss. Tim clutched his heart and fell back onto the couch, trying to act like he wasn’t holding back laughter. “No, you’re so cruel!”

“Good night, Tim.” She said, closing the door behind herself before her poker face could break.

“Good night, Sasha.” She heard through the door, full of fondness and amusement in equal parts. 

Sasha rolled out of bed the next morning to find Tim making pancakes, as promised. They sat at her kitchen table and bickered playfully about movies; Tim listened patiently as she infodumped about the history of science fiction as a genre, and she let him rant for the fiftieth time about Indiana Jones. Tim insisted on washing the dishes like a gentleman, and Sasha insisted on squirting bubbles out of the dish detergent bottle at him. They didn’t speak a word about work or their conversation from the night before, but she hugged him very tightly before he left, as if conveying all the emotion she could through touch alone. From the way he squished his face into her shoulder, it seemed the message came across. 

“I’ll make sure to get you the spider guy’s number.” He said when they finally pulled apart, and she snorted.

“You’re insufferable, you know that?” She said, shoving him out the door.

“So I’ve heard.” He winked and walked backwards down the hall outside her flat. She sighed and waved, a smile on her face as she shut the door.

If he bugged her and Martin more than usual after talking to Jon the following week, she didn’t mention it.

[writingwithacupoftea]

It’s been one hell of a week, and I want to share a life update with you all...

I don’t really know what this post is gonna be. I think it’s gonna be kinda like journaling, but I actually wanted to feel like I was talking to someone about it, even if no one reads it. I’m going to put everything below the cut, and if you wanna read it, cool, and if you don’t, that’s equally alright. I’m not scrapping for sympathy, I just want to talk to people that aren’t in my quote on quote ‘real life’ (pls don’t be offended, I love you all dearly).

So, feel free to ignore, this is going to be completely unedited, raw rambling about stuff that I need to get off my chest.

I guess I’ll start with the good stuff: I got accepted to interview for my teacher training course!!!!! I’m absolutely over the moon, and incredibly grateful to have this opportunity 🥰

I’m having a long weekend at home with my family, which is lovely, because it feels like ages since I was back at home. My amazing bestie/house mate sent me the cutest little care package this morning and omg I love her so much 🥺

I’m also finally starting to get on top of uni work, which is a big weight off my shoulder now I need to start with interview prep as well.

Now, before we move onto the bad stuff, a bit of backstory...

In December 2019, I got into a relationship with a guy who, quite frankly, is unlike any other boy I’ve ever met. He’s so kind, considerate, selfless, generous, funny, caring - basically every girl’s dream guy. We have similar interests, have never fought once, and were friends before we got into a relationship.

We had an incredible 3 months together as a couple, with so many incredible memories and laughs... and then lockdown happened in the England.

The announcement on 23rd March this year that England was going into lockdown sent me spiralling into my first ever panic attack (which was an absolutely horrendous experience) and my Mum drove up to my uni house in the middle of the night to bring me home.

I anticipated being at home for a few weeks, and then it turned into months. But these months were some of the best months of my life - Mum and I would go walking in the fields around where we live and have tv nights together, me and my friends from held games nights over zoom every Friday night so that we could see each other - it was incredible.

It was during these months at home that I decided, on a whim and not telling anyone other than my parents, to email my old school to see if they were part of any teacher training courses. At this point, I didn’t know for sure if I wanted to go straight into teaching after finishing my degree or if I wanted to do another job for a few years before committing myself to teaching. I’m a big believer in fate, and thought the response that I get to this email will decide.

So I sent it and, miraculously, got a response within a week, saying that they would be delighted to have me. I was ecstatic. Obviously nothing had been confirmed, because I still had to apply and be interviewed, but I had been given the confirmation that I didn’t realise that I so desperately wanted.

I texted my boyfriend and rang my best friend to tell them the news, and they were over the moon for me. But I also had to tell my boyfriend that this meant that I would be moving back to my home town once I finished my degree, something which is now mere months away.

I now had a clear direction in which my life was going, I’d smashed my second year at uni with flying colours, and my confidence in myself had flown up to an all time high. I had completely fallen in love with the person that I had become. Lockdown had also meant that I regained my love of my independence, and I realised that I wasn’t missing my boyfriend at all. In fact, the main person that I was missing was my best friend.

It was at this point that I started to have doubts about my relationship. 

Surely after months of being apart I should’ve started to miss him? I even found myself not looking forward to going to see him for our birthdays as planned. Our text conversations had grown stale, and I didn’t want to call him because I had no clue what to say to him.

I’ve always been very career-minded. My focus was completely on my future plans, and he wasn't there in my visions as my boyfriend. He was there as a friend, yes, but not my boyfriend.

When I went to meet him in our uni city for our birthdays, I felt more like I was meeting up with a good friend and not my boyfriend.

I think by this point I had built all these feelings up so much in my head that it was always going to be hard to move past them. But I said to myself that I wasn’t going to make any decisions about what to do with my relationship until I had moved back to uni for a couple of months and we spent some time together again properly, going back to near enough the way that things used to be before the pandemic took over.

So I moved back to uni, and this takes us nearly up to present day.

First of all, we both worked to run some of the event during the uni’s freshers’ week, which left us exhausted and busy. The week after we went into lectures, and the pressure hit me straight away.

To work at my dream school, I need a first-class degree (that’s the highest ranking of undergraduate degree that you can get in England). Yes, I’m already averaging at a good first, but the pressure to keep it up is immense. If I don’t get this grade, all the things that I’ve worked so hard to achieve will go down the drain.

On top of all my degree work, I was completing my teacher training application, running weekly events at the Students’ Union (SU, for short), being dragged into meetings every other week...it’s been insane.

So me and my boyfriend hadn’t had a single date night since we got back. Again, I hadn’t missed it and I was completely fine with it.

I then got invited for an interview for my teacher training course, and realised how busy I was going to be for the rest of this academic year. I didn’t know how the hell I was going to maintain a relationship on top of everything else. I then thought about what my life would be like when I started my course next September. If I was being realistic, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to maintain a long-distance relationship.

I also didn’t think that I wanted to maintain it. I missed being single, I was putting off date nights that he was trying to arrange in favour of chilling by myself in my room. But I also felt bad that I was essentially going to be putting my relationship on hold for a semester, to then resume as usual for a few months at the beginning of 2021, to then say actually I don’t think I can make this work when I moved home.

So on Tuesday, after much deliberating and talking, my boyfriend and I mutually decided to part ways as a couple after 10 months of being together, but remain the best of friends.

I was a lot more upset than I thought I would be, considering that I had brought the topic up and essentially instigated it (although the decision was mutual).

I sobbed and sobbed, and it was then that I started to doubt my decision. He’s devastated, my Mum too, and I started to wonder if I’d made a mistake.

When talking to my Mum on the phone, I listed all of his good qualities and how amazing he his and my Mum just asked “If he’s this good, as I know he is, why did you want to break up with him? There’s not many like him out there.”

I’m still thinking about that question. It genuinely haunts me.

I’ve been alright for the past few days. After a good sleep on Tuesday night, I woke up feeling okay and like all my doubts about my decision had vanished.

I’ll be honest, I’ve always been a Mummy’s girl. Her opinion and advice mean the world to me. And I know that she disagrees with the decision that I made to leave my boyfriend, she’s said it to my face multiple times. And now, the only thing making me doubt my decision is the fact that she is completely in disagreement, saying how amazing we were together as a couple and questioning how I could let him go.

I know it’s my decision, but her opinion means a lot to me. She’s always known what’s best for me, been so right about so many people, and that’s scaring me beyond belief.

We’re going to talk about it later today, and I have no clue what’s going to happen.

So I’m feeling a bit all over the place at the moment, that’s the only way I can describe it. Who knows what’s going to happen next - I sure don’t...

If you made it this far, honestly congratulations because I don’t think I would’ve 😂

Thank you for listening to me ramble, and thank you for being there for me to talk to.

All my love,

Emily x