#feel free to ask questions abt them winks

[bubuslutty]

Omg single dad Price?? Cliche as hell but hits all the right spots when ovulating hahah

omd thank you so much for this ask anon!

I've had so much writing abt single dad price! I hope I delivered 💙

cod mw2 masterlist

word count: 2.1k

tags: fem!reader, she/her, no descriptions of physical appearance, poc friendly, sfw

warning: none.

a/n: I wrote this on my periods and by God do I want this man so horribly bad. my mind is infested with filth when I think abt him but I also want to write fluffy things for him :((

okay so single dad price au

first of all, in my head, for some unknown reason, he'd have 2 boys, maybe twins and 1 little girl, the youngest. I see them as all being under 10 years old.

maybe you first met through one of his friends, Johnny maybe, who decided to invite you to travel down to Price's place all the way from Glasgow for some sightseeing and touristy stuff, or going to a festival or going to a show to see one of your favorite bands.

You knew Price, heard of him a couple of times but never met him face to face. and lo and behold when you do, your heart does a little flip and a giggle comes out of your mouth when he introduces himself and sticks his hand out, smiling down at you.

I SORRY BUT I'M WHIPPED FOR THIS MAN-

luckily he doesn't mind the giggle and his smile just becomes even bigger, because it's evident you're happy to be there, happy to meet him. and if Johnny likes you, Price is bound to like you as well.

And he does like you, easily swapping jokes and laughing together with Johnny. He gets comfortable pretty quickly with you, he leans forward and nods to whatever you say, seemingly captivated by your whole aura. After a whole pint of beer, he unbuttons two more buttons of his short-sleeved shirt. It was already hot outside, so maybe he wanted to cool down but his eyes say otherwise.

John is fucking massive, that you can tell by his body, even tho Johnny tells you he's a busy dad of 3 children, he somehow still manages to still go to the gym. He has both muscles with a healthy layer of fat on them, and you can appreciate a big man with a soft tummy but with the strength of a bull.

You've seen pictures of John before, shown to you by Johnny on multiple occasions. And his back still haunts your dreams. In a good way. He had such a huge back that you wanted to just climb it and cling to it.

And that man had huge arms and veiny hands with blond hairs on them, and a nice full beard on his face and fluffy hair with the warmest eyes you've seen. And the absolute unit of shoulders to waist ratio ever. And to top it off that man has WICKED hips, thighs and ass.

He mentions his kids once or twice over some drinks and yorkshire pudding burritos. And you sit up, interested and curious. You ask about their ages, names and because he's such a dad, he obviously has to show you his wallpaper of his boys and girl.

You lean closer to look at them, and they're so cute, with blond hair just like him, his boys have brown eyes while his little girl has blue ones. And they're genuinely adorable that you Aww at every picture he shows you.

This leads to Johnny telling you anecdotes from when they were little, like nappies little, and how one of his sons peed on him in the middle of changing his nappies once.

It's all fun and games until Johnny frowns down at his phone when he receives a message and he excuses himself, telling you and John how he has a thing to take care of, so he's leaving you two together to have some fun, and for John to take advantage of his child-free time.

Johnny leaves after giving you a tight hug and a wink, walking out of the nice pub John frequents.

"So… What's your favourite colour?" You asked, biting your lower lip and staring at John through your eyelashes.

And he seemed taken back by your question, "My favourite colour?"

"Yeah," You nodded, feeling a bit anxious for asking such a silly question, but you really wanted to get to know him, starting by asking him innocent questions and analyzing his reactions to them.

"Blue. What about you?" He answered with a shrug and a small smile.

"Me too! It's also my favourite colour!" You gasped, excited.

John chuckled at your excitement, taking a swing of his beer while you toyed with your phone like a fidget toy.

"I don't remember anyone ever asking me about my favourite colour, except my kids of course, and that one face paint artist at school fairs." John said and you giggled again.

"What did you get painted on?" You asked, grinning from ear to ear.

"Sonic the hedgehog." He sighed and you started laughing, eyes watering and shoulders shaking, even snorting once and slapping a hand to your mouth, eyes wide and cheeks hot.

John doesn't think twice before prying your hand away from your face, "Don't. A snort isn't going to chase me away."

"And uhm, I know why we're here, really here. Johnny isn't as subtle as he thinks he is." John confessed and looked away from your face, as if embarrassed.

"It's alright if you don't want to get together or anything, we could forget this ever happened, John." You said, placing a hand on top of his and leaning closer to look at his face better.

He looked at you as soon as those words left your mouth, "I didn't say anything about not wanting to get together-"

"Really?"

John sighed and grabbed and squeezed your hand, running his other hand through his beard, "Listen, you're absolutely lovely, charming and as beautiful as Johnny claims you to be. I do want to get to know you better, It's just– I'm not really someone you easily date."

You smiled, "You're a package deal."

"Excuse me?"

"Buy one, get three free." You said, watching the absolute giant of man look at you all worried as if there was something wrong with him.

John was stunned, looking at you as if you grew an extra head.

"What? You thought I'd agree to meet and flirt with you, knowing I won't get with a single parent?" You said, scooting closer to him, resting your chin on your palm and looking at him through your pretty eyelashes.

"I don't know if this is of any help, but I'm the oldest of 4 children, and my youngest sibling is 15 years younger than me. So little kids don't scare me, trust me." You said, puffing your chest as if you were a decorated soldier with veteran experience in taking care of little shits.

John cracked a small smile, "I'm sure you're a great older sister."

"I try my best." You humbly said, bowing your head and John chuckled again.

"So, how about we go for a walk and you can tell me all about your workout routine, you can't be the only one looking like a much hotter version of Superman." You said and John all but agreed.

And you do go for a walk, and chat about everything and anything. and you have so much fun that John forgets what time it is for a bit and gets surprised when his alarm rings and he has to go pick up his kids from school.

You say bye to each other and he says how he's going to invite you and Johnny over for a hangout with his other guys back at his place.

So you do go, you keep meeting him, and you eventually meet his kids, and they're lovely, polite and wary of you at first, because they're still very young and are children to parents who don't like or love each other like most parents do.

So you try your best to approach them in the best way possible, and decide to tell them nothing but the truth and talk to them like you'd talk to adults.

So when you start seeing their dad, he tells them one night over dinner, just the, and you also confirm it to them when you get invited over, "I like your father.

And his boys look up from their legos and his little girl stops flying a dinosaur in the air right before she crashes it on a city made out of blocks and barbie dolls.

"We know." The twins say at the same time and they shrug, resuming their play.

"Dinosaur?" The little girl hands you another dinosaur, and you nod, and take it from her little hand.

"Dinosaur." You repeat and you watch her dive the dinosaur's head to a barbie's head and act like he was eating the barbie, so you did the same thing, with added sound effects.

You don't expect the children to call you mum, you aren't overly friendly with them or force your friendship on them. You give them space, time and respect. And John seems to be incredibly grateful for it, even if he doesn't comment on it, but his eyes and smiles say enough.

Things slowly evolve, and the children start asking for you when you're not around.

"Dad, where's your friend?" One of his boys asked him on the way to get ice cream after school.

"You mean dad's girlfriend." The other twin corrects his brother.

"Are you boyfriend girlfriend?" His little girl asks.

"She's busy with work at the moment, and we're not dating, not yet, at least." John says.

"Not yet?"

"Why?"

"But we saw you kiss in the kitchen!"

"Please be boyfriend girlfriend! She's nice and she's better at helping us with homework than you!"

So John is now stuck in his car, being roasted by his children on their way to get ice-cream, and he shuts them up when he tells them they won't officially date until all of them like you.

Which they obviously already do and they agree very quickly.

So Price takes you out on a date, to officially ask you out, with his children as some sort of witnesses and official welcome to their family.

They're in a nice italian restaurant, nothing too fancy, and he's wearing a light blue button up with a pair of slacks that do more than justice to his legs and hips. And he looks so so nice, hair brushed back and beard trimmed and oiled up, and he has a watch on his wrist and a bracelet his little girl made him on the other hand.

His little boys are wearing button up shirts in different colours and slacks, and his little girl is wearing a blue dress with a dinosaur pin on her hair, keeping her curls away from her face. And as soon as you show up, her face lights up and she excitedly shows you her dress, spinning around, and telling you that's "It's blue! Like your favourite colour! Like dad's favourite colour!" And she also shows you the dinosaur hairpin and you all but melt and tell her how pretty she looks, and how handsome his boys look.

"You also look very handsome." You smile at John and he blushes a bit, taking your hands in his while his children watch with wide curious eyes.

"And you look very beautiful, darling." He says and you bat your eyelashes at him, "Thank you."

He kisses the back of your hands and he pulls your chair out for you to sit, and you grin and sit down. And then the children all start talking at the same time, about what they'd like to order and what you should try and what they think you'd like, so obviously they have been here before and it's a family favourite.

John tells his little gremlins to calm down and you guys start by ordering drinks and some breadsticks, then he actually has a whole speech prepared about how he's been very happy with you and would love for you to officially join their family.

And while he's saying his speech, his eyes never leaving yours, you don't notice one of his boys holding a small piece of paper under the table and nodding along to his dad's words, and the other twin holding a up thumbs up to show that John is saying everything he's written down.

While John’s little girl somehow pulled a small dinosaur toy out of nowhere and is making it sit on the table and watch you both.

"I'd love to be your girlfriend, and join your family, John." You say when John's done and his children all cheer at the same time, making some people from other tables glance at you.

"Congratulations." The twins say at the time, shaking your hand and their father's in quite a formal manner, making you giggle, "Thank you, gentlemen."

"Can we eat now?" John's little girl asks, and nobody asks why she had shoved tissue inside her dinosaur's mouth, probably mimicking feeding it.

John laughs and nods, "Yes, we can."

tag list (pls ask to be added or removed): @obiwankenobis-lap @goapgrim @smalldemonlover @silviafantin15 @reveluving @bobastayhigh @originalsimp @h-leigh @gxldyjess @msdrpreist @chaoticevilbakugo @Lacunaanonymoused @whore4dilfs

[rodr1cks]

manic pixie pizza girl | 1.4k

fluff; you’re rodrick’s favorite delivery girl

“12 Surrey Street,” you mumbled to yourself, plopping down into your car. You sped out of the parking lot, ready to get your last delivery of the night over with.

You pulled up to the house and grabbed the five pizzas from your passenger seat and headed towards the home.

You knocked on the scarlet colored door a few times. And then a few times again when the first knocks went unanswered. You were met with silence.

You could hear ridiculously loud music from where you stood outside and you were growing irritated. You knew there was somebody home and if these pizzas didn’t get paid for you were a deadman.

You tried one last time, delivering three extra hard knocks to the door and ringing the doorbell at least twice.

At last, the door swung open, revealing the most attractive boy you’d ever seen. Your annoyance quickly reduced to a dull afterthought.

The boy called back inside, “Yeah these mom bucks are a gold mine!” He turned to face you again.

“H-hi, uh, pizza?” You stammer. He nodded at you curiously, “Yeah… Pizza.”

“Right, that’ll be $52.50, please.”

What was happening to you? You had laid your eyes on the raven headed boy for less than sixty seconds and you felt like you were disintegrating in front of his gaze. Shakily, you took the cash from his hand.

“Keep the change,” he winked at you. Suddenly, you couldn’t move, or speak, or breathe. You held up your hand, waving awkwardly as he closed the door.

You practically sprinted back to your car, ready to soak in the humiliation from your previous interaction.

The next day, you couldn’t stop thinking about the interaction you had on Surrey Street. The boy’s deep brown eyes were ingrained into your memory. You even made a note of the small mole that sat next to his eyebrow. He was tall and slim and wait, was he wearing eyeliner?

It was agonizingly painful to get through your day.

It was a saturday, so you were delivering pizzas back to back the entire day.

Your night was finally coming to an end. You had one more delivery slated before you could go home and absolutely crash. Your coworker handed over the order.

“Oh, and they specifically requested you to deliver this, by the way,” your coworker rattled off, nonchalantly. “They said to send the awkward girl with the black car.

That was you alright.

Your heart skipped in your chest. You tried to contain your hope, telling yourself there was no way he would ever ask for you.

You cleared your throat, “And what is the address on that one?”

“Hmm, let’s see. Looks like it’s 12 Surrey Street.”

Your jaw fell to the floor.

“Do you know them, y/n?”

You stuttered, unsure of what to say, “Oh, u-uhm, no, not exactly.”

The drive over to the now familiar house was nerve-wracking. Your mind was racing.

Oh, god. You probably smelled like pizza and you probably looked like garbage and- Your navigation system pulled you from your thoughts. “You have arrived,” the electronic voice droned out.

No turning back now.

Before exiting your car, you made an effort to somewhat fix your appearance. It wasn’t easy, but you improved your looks at least a little bit. You also made sure to reapply your perfume.

You grabbed the pizza from the passenger side, only one box this time. You slowly approached the door, your anxiety running rampant.

You rapped on the door three times and rang the doorbell. Tonight, the door was answered almost immediately, as if somebody had been awaiting your arrival.

“Hey,” the boy from the previous night greeted you with a slight smirk.

So he does wear eyeliner.

He was leaning against the doorway, one arm elevated, holding the top of the doorframe. You allowed your eyes to linger on his biceps a little too long.

“Is that for me?” He asked, knowing good and well it was.

You nodded, drool nearly departing from your bottom lip.

You opened your mouth to tell him the total, but he spoke before you.

“This might be weird but do you wanna come in? I won’t kill you or anything, promise.”

What? The? Fuck?

Is he serious? Okay, play it cool, y/n.

You nodded again, letting out a small squeak. So much for playing it cool.

He stepped back into the house, holding the door open for you. You passed under his arm and into the inviting atmosphere.

You hovered awkwardly in the entryway, waiting for him to say something, anything.

“Well, are you gonna tell me your name?”

“Oh right, of course, I-I’m y/n. Do I get to know your name?”

“I guess I can tell you. I’m Rodrick. You might’ve heard of me. I kinda run a band, Löded Diper.”

You’d never heard of it.

“Oh, yeah! Sounds familiar, actually!” You lied to protect his ego.

His eyes lit up, thrilled by your response.

“Wanna see my setup?” The pizza you brought was long forgotten.

Part of you knew that wasn’t really a question. Rodrick led you through the hallway and into the garage. It was covered with string lights and Löded diper posters. There was a small couch and coffee table against one of the walls.

“Please, y/n, have a seat. Take a moment to digest the man cave.”

He played a couple sets for you and honestly, he was better than you had expected.

After what was probably half an hour, he retired his drumsticks. You gave him a small round of applause and he gave you a dramatic bow.

You smiled up at him.

He plopped down next to you, resting an arm on the couch behind you.

“So… y/n, the ‘rents won’t be home for a while. We could… watch a movie or something. If you want.”

You still couldn’t believe this was happening.

“U-uh sure, what do you have?”

He smiled, immediately rattling off movie titles until one piqued your interest.

“Scream it is.”

Rodrick showed you up to his room. It was decorated similarly to the garage, complete with band and movie posters, colorful lights, and some miscellaneous items scattered on the floor.

One item being a playboy magazine. You blushed and he kicked it under the bed, attempting to laugh it off.

“Uhm, sit anywhere you’d like.” He was the awkward one now. Rodrick fumbled with the dvd, eventually sliding it into the disc player.

Despite this being your favorite movie, you found it impossible to pay attention. Rodrick had found a seat right next to you on his couch.

You were staring at Rodrick through the corner of your eye, unable to break eye contact from his fiddling hands. You watched the veins in his arms contract and flex with every small movement he made. You were enamoured.

Your breath caught as he moved his hand to rest on your upper thigh.

He looked over at you, searching for your approval, “Is this okay?”

You nodded as your heart rate increased rapidly. He began rubbing his thumb in gentle circles over your smooth skin. You could feel heat blistering in your cheeks and you were suddenly grateful that the only light illuminating your face came from the flickering tv.

You glanced over at rodrick, his pale skin and rosy lips glowing in the dim lighting. You wanted nothing more than to feel his plush lips on yours.

A surge of confidence rushed over you and you rolled onto his lap.

You repeated his own question to him, “Is this okay?” You could see his jaw fall open slightly as he nodded excitedly.

He placed his large hands on the small of your waist. He smirked at you, “How about this?”

You rolled your eyes at the little game the two of you had begun.

“And what about,” You leaned in and kissed him slowly. Your lips moved in sync perfectly. He tasted like sour candy and gas station icee.

“This?”

He pretended to think for a moment, “Hmm… not quite sure about that one. Let’s try again so I can be sure.”

He didn’t have to ask you twice.

You kissed him again, prying past his pliant lips with your tongue. This kiss was far longer and far more sensual. Rodrick’s grip on your waist tightened as your lip lock progressed.

You pulled away from him and broke the silence, “You owe me $15.29 for that pizza, by the way.” You smirked at him playfully, having a feeling the rest of the night was going to be more fun than you could’ve imagined.

+ hi guys i promise i see your requests and i will write them!! this was in my drafts and i wanted to post hope u enjoy c: also pls feel free to message me or send me asks abt anything and everything!!!

[lonslibrary]

3 moments between the crow couples during their time at hogwarts

1. an unknown part of wylan and jesper’s somewhat disastrous amortentia story comes moments after jesper pulled wylan in for a kiss by his tie, causing the rest of their classmates to erupt in cheers and applause so loud that professor snape’s “boys! in the hall, now!” went unheard. minutes later, when they had actually been led out of the classroom to wait for their punishment, wylan finally worked up the courage to meet jesper’s eyes, his face almost as red as his hair. jesper’s grin was radiant. “so. butterbeer and my cologne, huh?”

it took all of wylan’s nerve to not sink into the ground where he stood. “i didn’t know today’s lesson was on amortentia,” he muttered, feeling himself flush again.

it took all of jesper’s will not to kiss the younger again right there where he stood with the way the redhead was looking up at him from beneath his long lashes.

“well, what about you?” wylan demanded, rolling his eyes. “let me guess. cards, pumpkin juice, and galleons?”

“no, actually.” jesper replied, spinning his wand in his hand. “i smell grass. gunpowder. and...”

he took a step closer to wylan who stood still, holding his breath. “...and?” the third year asked quietly.

“exploding elixir.”

wylan’s mind shut down.

“the entire room was filled with the same smell from that day we singed snape’s hair,” jesper snorted. “of all things, we had to mess up the potion that smelled like burnt-”

it was wylan who pulled jesper down this time, reaching up on his tippy toes to meet jesper’s soft lips, the ones that had captivated him from the moment he had walked into the potions classroom and saw his new lab partner for the first time.

“fahey, van eck!” snape burst into the hallway. “does it seem possible to keep your hands off of each other?”

“sorry, prof.” jesper winked, eyes still trained on wylan’s mouth. “guess you can say we’ve got...chemistry.”

wylan couldn’t even bring himself to care about detention.

2. nina stifled a laugh, trying to keep a straight face as she watched matthias scan the inside of zonko’s joke shop. she had just gotten matthias to admit that he enjoyed a drink as sweet as butterbeer, hours earlier at the three broomsticks. “you look like you’re inside the shrieking shack, not a joke shop.” nina snickered at the way matthias perked up.

“whatever the shrieking shack is, i think that there’d be more dignity in such a place than...this.” matthias dropped a dungbomb he had picked up like it had personally offended his grandmother.  

“why?” nina giggled. she shook the box in her hand. “not a fan of ton-tongue toffees?”

matthias made a face that looked like he was more than just not a fan. “if it’s anything like those jelly beans you fed me on the train, then no.”

that only made nina laugh harder. “i swear you picked the worst ones! you should’ve seen your face when you tried the rotten egg flavor.”

matthias cracked a smile, relaxing a little amongst the colorful store and his girlfriend’s laughter. he picked up another product, a pink bottle corked at the top. “what does this one do?”

nina lowered her voice, gesturing for matthias to come closer, as if letting him in on a secret. “that one’s a love potion. one drop of it in someone’s drink and they’re yours,” she whispered. “they’ll think about you all day.”

matthias jerked away, putting the bottle back on the shelf. “you can’t be serious. love can’t be made like that!” he sputtered.

“i don’t know, durmstrang,” nina teased. “what if i bought one and slipped some in your pumpkin juice tomorrow at breakfast?”

matthias only crossed his arms, continuing to grimace. “well, that wouldn’t work at all.”

“why not? zonko’s is pretty reliable when it comes to their products.” she said pointedly, looking at the extendable ears on sale.

“because i’m already in love with you.” matthias stated simply.

nina froze, turning to her boyfriend. during her time dating matthias, the hufflepuff had proven to be narrow minded and straightforward as a broom doing any and every thing. it was moments like these she was reminded that this included during his expressions of affection, and nina couldn’t love him more for it.

“i’m in love with you, too.” she declared, slipping her hand into her boyfriend’s. she had always liked...brooms. “now, come on. i want to see if we can get kaz to fall for a trick wand.”

3. all inej had wanted was a quiet place to study that wasn’t the library. she liked to practice with her wand for transfiguration, and magic wasn’t allowed in the library. she had been wandering the school for an empty classroom or quiet corner when the room of requirement had appeared at the end of a hallway, exactly moments before she was about to give up and return to the gryffindor common room. she was only half surprised when she opened the door and saw kaz, but like always, kaz hadn’t seemed surprised at all when she entered. he sat on top of a desk with his cane leaned against it, wand out, in the middle of a silent spell. inej let her eyes trail over his robe perched on a chair, his gloves off and set aside in a rare moment, and his uniform sleeves pulled up to his elbows.

“first time here?” kaz asked, not looking up from the book in his lap. his rough voice echoed slightly in the large room as inej scanned her surroundings. the room was empty besides a couple of desks and chairs in one corner, a cluttered pile of objects in another, and a big wardrobe that looked ages old. a fireplace on the wall kept the room warm, and a small chandelier hung above inej’s head.

“guess i didn’t require much until now.” inej shrugged, pulling a desk and chair of her own towards the center of the room. “you?”

kaz closed his book, finally looking up at inej. “i come and go when i want.”

inej wanted to know more about what had revealed the room to kaz in the first place, but she redirected the question away from kaz himself, knowing it was unlikely he would answer. “get anything out of it?” with kaz, it was all about gain.

kaz drummed his fingers on his desk. inej tried not to stare. “some crying first years with who miss their mums. i think i’ve witnessed a bit of every couple in the school’s snogging.” he pulled out a handful of extendable ears from his robe pocket. “snape’s planning something. don’t know the details yet, but something big.”

inej nodded. part of her expected kaz to leave, speak with his silence as he tended to do, but he continued to sit and look at inej, book in lap. inej knew him well enough to recognize that while it wasn’t exactly an invitation, kaz wasn’t saying no to a conversation. she could’ve started with a less risky question about snape’s plans, or asked for the names of the couples in their year, just to know, but inej was curious about other things.

“and how did you find this place, kaz?”

“the de kappel painting.” he said casually. “i needed a place to hide it.”

inej froze, taken aback by kaz’s answer. or more accurately, his willingness to answer. “so it’s true?” she questioned, hoping her voice didn’t give away her surprise. “the gringotts vault rumor.” she had half believed them to begin with, knowing kaz’s abilities but never his motives. still, kaz had never confirmed it with anyone as far as she had known.

“true enough.” kaz reopened his book, attention back on the page. inej inwardly sighed. the satisfaction of knowing kaz trusted her enough to confirm the gringotts rumor didn’t last long. figures kaz wouldn’t want to talk much about himself.

“but that’s a story for next time.” kaz flipped a page, the slightest start of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

next time, inej turned over in her head. she tried not to smile as she opened her own book. she could work with next time.

author’s note (pls read!) this is my first time on tumblr so idk how to use it too well but i’m overwhelmed by all the nice responses so thank you all so, so much. i see everything!! idk if there’s like poll mechanisms and stuff on tumblr (argh help) but i wanted to gauge what everyone would like next—im deciding between six of crows x pjo or shadow and bone x harry potter, so comment below what you’d like to see first (: i’d also love to hear abt any personal requests so my dms (is that what they’re called here?) are open for suggestions. no promises, but lmk if there’s something you want to read. feel free to get as niche as you want, respectfully! ok ik this is super long god bless your soul if u actually read the entire thing but finally, i just wanted to introduce myself—i’m lynn, this is my library and i dabble in most fandoms! my goal is to get at least one piece of writing out every month, so if you’d like to read what i write, follow along! OK im finally done, i swear. thank you again for the tremendous support. unbelievable. happy reading!

[sscoutregimentss]

I was gonna make a request based on your Eren x Gamer Reader post but then I saw you take poly requests... Erejean x Gamer Reader? (She/her pronouns btw ^_^)

sure thing anon! your brain is huge. i started a one shot which is now sitting in my drafts bc i literally dont know how to finish it. maybe i'll post it later but for now here you go headcanons woohoo

eren and jeans dynamic makes it look like its impossible for them to share a girlfriend but it actually? works surprisingly well?

arguing is kinda their love language in a very strange weird way. if theyre not fighting somethings wrong but their like constant bickering actually is rlly important to you three's relationship lmfaooo a lot of communicating is just eren and jean fighting and then you pick up on something they say and you three talk it out. plus its gets all their energy out at the end of the day... like when puppies run around in circles bc they didnt go on long enough walks

jean is the planner of the couple, always making sure you guys get tickets to see this that and whatever, always figures out how ur gonna get places and when everyone will be picked up, makes sure everyones schedules are free and that theres no big game release that you'll miss and eren doesnt have work and jean isnt volunteering

in terms of nerdiness jean is a decent middle ground between you (who says "ummm actually..." unironically) and eren (who thought dungeons and dragons was a kinky thing) because he lives with connie so he gets roped into playing stuff like rainbow six seige and watching battlestar galactica into late hours of the night. also he's an only child who was prone to boredom as a kid so he played video games like any other only child. that being said he has a more extroverted personality and aptitude for sports so he just never got as absorbed in it as you did

this kind of makes eren jealous tbh because he thinks jean has more to relate with you then him. but jealousy is like a natural feeling and despite his feigned reluctance jean is happy to share his knowledge with him.

plus eren realizes that what he lacks in video game and movie knowledge he makes up in anime bc jean is clueless on that front. once you went on this huge rant about how sailor moon would decimate goku in a fight and jean just goes "gokus the pirate with the fox spirit, right? hes trying to become number one pro hero right?"

speaking of eren eren and jean are on the same volleyball team (i hc they play volleyball bc theyre tall but i think theyd be cute on any sports team because im weak hearted) and you become their fave cheerleader <3 they look for you in the stands before each game and have their own little ritual for good luck. when he spots you jean jumps really high (despite the team captain, levi screams at him to save it for when the game starts) and makes a heart with his arms and blows you a kiss when he gets in the air and its so embarrassing so eren just dogpiles the embarassment but giving you an over exaggerated wink its the worst theyre gross

jean gets you into connie's discord server after you complain that people are really rude to you in online games and eren is quick to demand an invite too even though he literally plays nothing and has no idea how discord works. he will log in and ping you to show you a meme and even though connie's server is really chill with rules (like 10 ppl max, just some friends hanging out) he has always wanted to say "no memes in general" so he does it every time. you have to show eren how to use private messages once connie jokes abt eren being his discord kitten.

cuddle pile while watching movies... jean is a film buff so you three have movie nights rlly often. its usually you sandwiched in between them with jean behind you and eren in front of you so you can play with his hair. jean's movie taste is actually really broad and you and eren both find a ton of new favorites through him.

they both really like listening to you ramble. you can explain soooo much lore abt your fave series and theyre both really invested. eren is more invested in the characters while jean is more focused on what happens next, but theyre both listening rlly well and making sure you know they care. they kinda care in different ways though? while eren is just passionate and because he's so passionate he must know about all things you like, jean is either interested or just likes hearing your voice. of the two jean is more likely to give you short answers and he'll be more dozed off so he's good to go to when you just want to rant. eren is going to ask you more questions and get wayyy more confused so he's good to go to when you want to explain or flesh out your points.

jean finds eren's jealousy of fictional characters sooooo ridiculous. whenever eren is pouting about some new video game guy youre in love with jean is rolling his eyes because of course its eren jaeger he's just looking for things to get angry at. "what are they gonna do idiot, come out of the tv?" but then one day there's a character that looks a lot like eren and suddenly he understands everything. but he realizes you have a thing for guys with long hair. he'll keep the mullet around for a while

they both really like having you sat in their laps and (unbeknownst to you) in order to avoid conflict they created a system. cozy game? eren. reading? jean. watching anime? eren. watching something live action? jean. playing a game on your phone? eren. watching an analysis video for your favorite franchise? jean. just messing around on your computer? rock paper scissors, best of three. eren likes to hug you tight and rest his head on your shoulder while talking to you. when it gets quiet he'll nuzzle his face in your neck and give you small kisses there. while jean likes to put his hands under your shirt and rest it on your stomach while you two chat. he's puts his head on your head or throws it back depending on your height and kinda just likes letting his hands wander, like rubbing up and down your arms or tickling you lightly.

you: i hate this stupid game

eren: yeah babe that game fucking sucks (has never played it in his life)

jean: then stop playing it?

you and eren, at the same time: what? no.

all in all they are good boyfriends 10/10 would recommend.

[bratkook]

She hath given us permission to thirst

I have this super specific scenario in my head oki here we go. So it would be a soft JK but borders himbo territory (realizes he is attractive but never really does anything with it). So him and OC have been together for almost a year and they done *stuff* but not gone all the way (not that they don’t want to buy they just wanna wait for the perfect time) OC gets a letter about an early high school reunion happening and tells JK and tell him something along the lines of “haha at least I can flex my super hot, super kind boyfriend on all the old mean girls” as a joke. JK takes it kinda seriously and in the month leading up to the reunion he is working on bulking up as much as he can because a) he wants to help you enact your revenge and b) he has a raging size kink (yes, I am projecting). OC doesn’t question it cuz he has been talking abt getting bigger for a while and plus why would she complain if her gorgeous boyfriend got ripped for fun. That is until the night of the reunion when OC is in this cute knee-length dress and JK is in a black-fucking-button down and fitted slacks that used to be loose on him o.O they are both drooling at each other until they realize they’re gonna be late. Once they get there and are almost at the door JK pulls OC aside and is like “I’ll make you proud tonight” WITH A FUCKING WINK AND SMIRK WITH HIS HAND ON HER BACK LEADING HER INSIDE THE SCHOOL. At this point OC is super flustered but she continues to show her man around and introduce him to ppl (idk how JK would feel I’ll leave that to your imagination). It’s when she goes to get them some snacks that the mean girls she was talking abt approach JK and try to shoot their shot and mentally JK is like “fuck yea this is my time to shine” and flexes and stands a bit taller, Yknow really reel them in, and then he drops the “yeah I’m here with the love of my life she’s over there looking all pretty”. For my own satisfaction I imagine these girls are absolutely shocked and jealous and OC makes a show of having his arm around her and putting her hands on him. I think in the high of getting her revenge they would get extra handsy which turns both of them on and they leave the party early to go back to their place (after she sucks him off in the car). Once they are home it is just clothes thrown every where, heavy breathing, hands all over each other until JK picks up OC and takes her to their room. He would sit them both on the bed and oh my god I can’t even type the dirty talk I’m imagining he would use 👀 (once again I’ll hand that off to you). First I think he would make her ride his thigh and cum like that and then for their first time have her ride him so she can set the pace. Every inch she would take he would whisper little praise and once she is fully adjusted he would help your bounce on him until they both get more and more needy and he ends up holding her in place and pounding into her. They would be all tangled up with each other when they finish and during the aftercare they would reminisce on their success and finally discuss the reason behind JKs bulking cuz I think it’s be hilarious and fluffy (I might expand on this in a future ask) omg I’m so sorry this is so long o hope you like it tho

ok wait no….im into this….pls feel free to tell me more 👀

[jasperwhitcock]

equinox | chapter 07 –– “a cruel god, a wrathful goddess”

here is chapter six of my bella as a vampire and edward as a human fanfic inspired by an au that @bellasredchevy​​ posted. you can read the new chapter on AO3 or here. i post updates on AO3 or on tumblr using the #equinoxjw tag. but it seems 10/10 times my tag does not work, so that is a fun mystery for me to solve.

oof... sometimes u get distracted and then ur sister gets married and then u get unmotivated & d*pressed and forget to update ur fanfic for over three months... my bad y'all... sorry for the wait hehe. i hope it is worth it. again, i'm so thankful for the comments & i read them all. i get too shy to respond, but i WILL. i just need to talk myself up first. i love u. thank u. hehe. ♡♡♡ merry christmas/happy holidays if i fail u again before the 25th. i WANT to update more frequently. my catchphrase these days is "i'm trying my best," so... i'm trying my best.

this is for the sweet anons who slide into my ask box & ask me questions abt my fanfic. and for taryn, who consistently reminds me that there are people wanting to read this seeing as she is one of those people, kim, who i am so desperate to impress that i began working on a new chapter once she started to read my fanfic, and kae, because without her, this fanfic would never have existed in the first place. i love how i'm writing this as though it's the intro to an actual book when it's literally just chapter seven. ok, i will shut up now so u can read. love u. again.

07 A CRUEL GOD, A WRATHFUL GODDESS

In great contrast to the noisy ambience of the other students in the hallway, we were silent on our walk to our shared biology class. I wondered how conscious Edward was of the stares and whispers focused on our proximity to one another, but my guess was that he was very much conscious of it. I intentionally ignored glancing in any direction that I sensed one of my siblings’ presence, although I figured it was mostly paranoia driving me to feel as though we were about to cross paths. Holding my breath to more easily walk beside Edward left my senses impaired to the ability to pinpoint their location. 

I was lucky that for the majority of my immortal life, I’d managed to escape unwanted attention. But now, it seemed that precious luck had finally run out. Maybe embarrassment had been creeping up on me, maliciously building itself up all these years, waiting until just the right moment to rear its ugly head and exact revenge that immorality had stolen its favorite object of humiliation to torment. But here it was, ensuring that I was finally catching up on feeling awkward and out of step, a feeling I experienced for what seemed like the entirety of my human life. I thought once I’d been changed, I’d never feel this way again, but becoming misaligned with my family made me feel bashful to parade my defiance in their faces. I had operated better under no scrutiny as a mortal and was surprised to realize that that still held true as an immortal as well. Because though there was now never a struggle of staying upright or a risk of tripping over my own feet, that didn’t prevent me from feeling self-conscious as I walked beside Edward. Although for different reasons –– it was too mortifying to consider what my family might make of what my actions suggested about my feelings towards Edward.

And yet still, I would put up with the ridicule and disapproval of my siblings if it meant I could listen to Edward speak his silly philosophical theology, his questioning of god and existence, for just a few more hours. If I were going to be teased over Alice’s visions regardless, I might as well find out what I can about this pretentious boy before I leave him alone forever. If only to understand why his moving to this small town threatened to warp my own future so much. In losing night and in losing death, there were so very little anomalies in the endless amount of time I’d been given. So what would it hurt to allow myself to fixate on this minuscule difference in my life for just awhile?

It could hurt Edward, a more selfless part of myself reminded me. If indulging myself was playing with fire, I was being justly punished with the way flames were efflorescing the inside of my dry, burning throat.

If a god did exist, why would it make sense for such a being to craft someone like Edward with his perceptivity, and send him off to this small town, home to a secret such as ours? If a god did exist, why it would be fair for such a being to craft someone like Edward, someone who tempted me both in bloodlust and in curiosity, and send him off to this small town, home to the very vampire who desperately wished to kill him most? If a god did exist, if our kind had fallen short of heaven, I could understand why sending Edward into our path –– and more specifically, my path –– could be some kind of punishment. But what I couldn’t understand is why a god would allow someone as innocent as Edward to be endangered for the sake of bringing a sinful, undead creature to justice. It seemed the only reasonable explanation would be that a god probably did not exist. 

And how could there be? I was on the precipice of falling into temptation with every step further in the hallway and every question he asked and answered. I could never not be very much aware of the fact –– especially now with his body merely inches from my side and his sweet fragrance blooming both deliciously and relentlessly in the air. And even as I impossibly withstood the lure of his blood, how was I meant to ignore the irresistibility of his mind and how inexplicably concerned I was to understand it? It seemed like a very cruel experiment of free will and knowledge –– far too cruel to allow much room for the kind of god Edward hoped for.

I frowned as I realized that this experiment wasn’t that of a cruel god’s but that of a cruel vampire, and I felt very much like a vampire as the sound of his heartbeat was so appealing that it made my mouth water.

“Do the stares bother you?” Edward spoke quietly to me as we weaved throughout the hallway. Easily distracted, his question was able to pull the more civilized parts of myself together, though this was probably also in thanks to my choosing not to utilize my sense of smell. I found it funny that at least one of his thoughts had been in a similar vicinity. But of course, the rest of his thoughts were probably free of all consuming agony and struggle. For all his curiosity about morality, to inflict this existence upon him would probably devour him in misery. At least as a human, despite whatever conclusions he may come to, there was still some hope to be had for an afterlife. This thought should have been dark and depressing, but because it made Alice’s vision seem like a complete hoax, I almost found it funny. How would Edward ever end up like me?

“Oh, no,” I swallowed the venom in my mouth. “I live for attention.” I watched from the corner of my eyes as his gaze flickered over to me, the ever present half smile appearing on his face at my joke. My answer came out so comfortably as though I was used to this, when in reality, the student body for the most part had grown accustomed to ignoring me. And, of course, there was nothing comfortable about the demanding, aching dryness in my mouth or the burning in my nostrils. “How about you?”

“Likewise,” he joked, laughing. “This is interesting –– their fascination. I understood their interest on my first day because I’d guess a new addition to the student body in a town this small is something of a rarity, but today, walking by your side is garnering even more attention. Is it a once in a lifetime opportunity to have Bella Cullen walk you to class?”

“You’re just so observant, aren’t you?” I rolled my eyes, though the corners of my mouths pulled up despite myself. “And I’m not walking you to class. I’m walking to a class I just so happen to share with you, so don’t get the wrong idea. I think they’re just surprised because they’re probably under the impression that I don’t play nice with others.”

“And do you?”

“You tell me,” I replied, pausing to face him beside a wall of lockers next to the entrance of our biology classroom. As he stopped beside me, a gust of air from a passing student walking hastily down the hallway sent his scent reeling into me at an unfortunate moment where I’d chosen to breathe in. My muscles tensed to spring, and I desperately anchored myself to the floor as my mind fell into disarray.

“Nicely enough,” Edward winked naturally as though we’d been the best of friends since his first day. The demanding thirst was intruding on my awareness, and the desperation for something wet and hot and delicious in my desiccated throat was so dizzying that his voice sounded as though it were underwater. With an effort as though I were swimming through drying cement, I resurfaced, just barely proving my dominion over the desire. I focused on his voice so that it’d become clearer, forcing myself to take another excruciating breath in and exhale the fire out. “I will say I am honored to be the exception –– to be plucked from the masses by the renowned, reclusive Bella Cullen.”

With torturous effort, I snorted as though I wasn’t fighting everything within me to keep him alive. I breathed in again heavily, allowing my body to become a pyre so that I could speak. “Alright, that’s enough. Stop saying my name like that. And you’ve lost the privilege. I am never walking you to class again,” I rolled my eyes even though my joke could very much be the truth. The bunching of my muscles, the twitching of my hands, and the fierce pain in my throat reminded me of the fact. Before he could point out the contradiction of what I’d previously clarified, I sighed. “Let’s take this quiz.”

His pretty green eyes were alive with mischief and enlightened with what must be more answers to questions he hadn’t outright asked me as he turned to enter the classroom. I followed behind him towards our shared table.

Air from the vent rushed out, thrusting the scent of his blood wafting into my face again. I paused for an indistinguishable moment as I battled agony, murderousness, monstrosity. Holy fuck. What was I trying to prove! Was it really worth this? Swallowing hard, I sat beside him as though nothing happened. My suffering was so great that Emmett could have brutally ripped my arm off, he could have beat me with it, and I wouldn’t have noticed nor felt a thing. I could have been set on fire, and it’d feel like sinking into a cool pool of water on an even cooler day. I was already burning alive, my body acting as a furnace, and I was imprisoned inside it.

Without intending to, I sighed aloud, exhaling as though it would smother the flames. It was a stupid, attention seeking thing to do. Humans sighed to expel air or express some sadness or relief or exhaustion, so when my family emitted an audible breath, we did so as a means of blending in. But to breath out in a way to clue Edward into the fact something was plaguing me… it was a stupid invitation for more questions. And these were questions I had no intention of sharing the answers to. I felt his eyes on me, but before he could say anything, Mr. Molina began passing out quizzes face down on our lab tables as students continued to pile in from lunch.

“Alright, class. Today we have a pop quiz–– oh, come on, guys, don’t groan. You will have the opportunity to make corrections after these have been graded. This is just an assessment of what you’ve retained from this unit so far. You will have the entire period to complete–– thanks for joining us, Mr. Patterson, glad you could fit my class into your busy schedule. Why don’t you take your seat? –– You will have the entire period to complete your quiz. If you finish early, feel free to get a head start on this weekend’s homework! I’ve written the reading down on the board. Aw, I’m sure you’re all moaning because you’re disappointed at how light of an assignment it is because I just know how very excited you all are to continue your passionate pursuit of studying biology. Alright, now that everyone’s settled–– wait a minute––”  Mr. Molina paused, raising his pointer finger in the air, his eyes squinted in anticipation. Three seconds later, the bell signaled the beginning of class. “Begin!”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward reluctantly turn away from me. In an elegant script, he wrote his name at the top of the paper and began his quiz. I turned away from him to look at my own paper, preparing myself to uncomfortably hold my breath for the next hour. The difference this made in my thirst was almost insignificant, but enough so that it gave me a tiny more leverage in my control. I smoothed out the pucker on my forehead with the eraser from my pencil, accidentally snapping the rubber off against my face. 

Absentmindedly, I began to breeze through the assessment, circling the correct answers, but my mind was more absorbed in the warmth of sitting beside Edward. Aside from the affliction of doing so, it was too pleasurable to have sat beside him so often and for so long today. I enjoyed the toastiness like a lizard basking in the sun. It made me recall the muddy human memory of laying out on a blanket in my backyard beneath my beloved blue Arizona sky, hiding beneath the small shade of a book. Not the blistering heat of a summertime Phoenix sun, but the warmth of the first day of spring. But the heat of Edward’s body alone was enough to fill my mouth with venom, so I tried to refocus my attention onto my quiz.

When I turned to the last page of questions, a motion beside me diverted my concentration once again. I peeked over, turning my head slightly in Edward’s direction to see what it was. As he thought over one of the questions, his right hand was moving peculiarly as he lifted and dropped down his long fingers almost as though he were impatiently tapping each digit one by one along the tabletop. Except the movement was more exact and calculatingly random. Engrossed, I watched as his his soft, fragile skin rippled over the muscle, the tendons appearing and disappearing with every bizarre movement. It took me a moment to make the connection between the large grand piano in his home and the motion of his hands. I realized he was miming piano movements while he thought through his answers. There was something both weird, funny, and endearing about this. I smiled to myself, not having the required oxygen to quietly laugh.

I felt his curious eyes flicker over to me and watched peripherally as he raised his eyebrows. I shook my head, biting down on my lip to unsuccessfully fight the smile, and returned to completing my quiz.

I finished a moment later and impatiently waited another ten minutes or so before I could turn in my work. I tried to ignore Edward for this small period of time at least, mentally reading myself the opening chapter to Wuthering Heights. Even though the words were committed to my memory, it was still never as good as actually reading from the book itself.

Once I’d decided an appropriate enough time had passed, I stood up to walk my quiz to the completed basket on Mr. Molina’s desk. Even having waited, I was still the first to finish the examination.

“Thank you,” the teacher whispered without breaking his focus away from the crossword puzzle he peered through his glasses at. I breathed in now that I’d placed some distance between myself and Edward, gladly facing the cool, fresh air from the vent.

“Neophyte,” I whispered back now that I’d replenished my oxygen supply.

“Excuse me?” He glanced up, his slightly aged face confused.

“Neophyte,” I repeated. “Eight across, two down.”

I took in one last clean breath and walked back to my seat as he tapped his pen across the squares of the space, mouthing his count of the letters to check if the word fit.

As soon as I took my place in my seat again, Edward stood up to walk his own quiz to the basket.

I wanted to watch him, but instead I forced myself to unzip my backpack and retrieve the biology textbook.

Busying myself with the assigned chapters, deciding to actually read them so as to not feed into my invasive Edward obsession, I couldn’t help but listen as Edward too placed his own textbook on the countertop.

I heard the scribble of pen on paper as he began to write what I imagined were notes until his large hand slid the paper over to me beneath the wall of my hair spilling over the desk. Well, I wouldn’t ignore him if he was the one deciding to bother me.

You know I’m pretty certain that cheating is a violation of the student handbook, but I’ll let you get away with it just this once.

I turned to glance at his face to see if he were serious. His eyes were warm and inviting, his mouth in the same crooked smile.

I took the piece of paper and looked around for my writing utensil that had gone missing somehow. My eyes zeroed in on a suspicious, tiny pile of wood dust on my side of the desk. When had I brutalized my pencil? He held his hand out to offer his own pen, and I accepted it, carefully plucking it from his fingers without making contact.

I wasn’t cheating. You were doing something funny. And what do you know about the student handbook? You’re new.

I slid the paper and pen back to him and watched as he combed a hand through his bronze hair, reading my response. The smile grew wider as he construed the biting tone of my note. 

Can I be let in on the joke? Edward wrote, turning to look at me once he was done. Again I was prisoner, though this time not to my own body. I was momentarily held hostage by the beauty and warmth of his light green eyes. I was understanding more and more the attraction the other students had for him. If I had a soul, it was as though he were staring straight into it.

I recovered, placing my hand atop the desk and then wiggling my fingers as though I were weaving my way through a very complicated piano piece.

Oh, Edward mouthed, immediately understanding. He silently laughed and placed his left hand to his forehead briefly as if to hide his face in mock embarrassment. The ink from the pen spilled onto the paper as he began to write again.

In my defense, there’s research that supports classical music puts students in a heightened emotional state, making them more receptive to information and helping them focus.

That’s very nerdy of you. I scribbled back, the corners of my lips pulled upwards.

I know. As I read the words on the notebook paper, we both laughed a little too loudly for the quietness of the room.

“Please remain silent for your classmates still working,” Mr. Molina stage-whispered from his desk, his eyes still fixated on the crossword puzzle.

It’s a bad habit. Edward tacked on to his message. I beamed. I knew a thing or two about bad habits today. I was appreciative of this silent conversation on paper; it made it easier to be beside him without needing to breathe to speak aloud.

What were you playing? I scrawled.

Clair de Lune. Edward wrote back. His thick eyebrows raised as my eyes lit up, and he continued writing. You know Debussy?

My mother used to play a lot of classical music around the house. It was one of my favorites.

It’s one of my favorites, too. Edward’s eyes were a little sad and lost in thought, and he smiled softly.

I was shocked by the change in expression and weirdly desperate to return the brightness back to his eyes. The burn in my throat was almost forgettable in the face of my concern. Almost, but not quite. He turned his head down to write on the paper again.

You said Rosalie played piano. You never learned? He turned to look at me, his expression curious. I shook my head and shrugged, reaching for the pen.

I didn’t think I had the coordination for it. While this was true for the time I was human, it wasn’t true now. Still, even though my days stretched into endless nights, I hadn’t yet devoted time to any instrument as an immortal.

Edward read the paper, his long pointer finger tracing the line beneath the words as he did so. He held his large hand out, and I dropped the pen into it.

I’ll show you sometime. Edward half smiled at me, his eyes sweet and earnest.

Knowing I shouldn’t be allowing him to think making a plans with me was an option, I reached for the pen to tell him that it was alright, but I froze as he suddenly moved to drop the pen and take my hand. Though he should have been the one hesitant and cautious as though approaching a dangerous, wounded animal, I held perfectly still as though he were the danger, and I needed to play dead for protection. You can’t play dead if you are dead, I thought to myself. 

My body tensed as my hand was enveloped in the heat of his much larger palm, uncertain as to what he was doing. My muscles screamed at me as I clenched my free hand into a tight fist, terrified of myself.

A shiver rippled through him as he felt the chill of my frozen fingers, and I twitched the hand in his possession, wanting to yank it away to protect him from the iciness but not wanting to alert him with the swiftness of the motion.

He smiled mysteriously at the spasm as though he somehow expected it. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking but didn’t want to risk breathing. My control could too easily be lost. Besides, I was scared that if I were to open my mouth, I’d end up screaming.

I felt him push slightly and realized he wished for me to curl my fingers, so with great concentration and the acute awareness of his fragility, I moved my stony hand into the shape he directed, my fingers curved slightly beneath his like a relaxed talon. I didn’t like the shape; it was odd and inhuman and made me think of the violence I could cause.

But it wasn’t a claw. Because once my hand was positioned the way he wanted, he began to slowly place pressure on my fingers, and I dipped and rose them accordingly to carefully move with his. I watched as the two of our hands together played what I imagined must be the opening chords to Clair de Lune.

The disconcerting emptiness in my chest soared at the bizarre pleasure of this touch, and a weird sensation tickled my scalp, moving swiftly down my spine to my entire body. 

My muscles tightened violently and then relaxed, sending a shiver to ripple through me. It was too much pleasure and too much pain as my throat ached and I leaned into the warmth.

Embarrassed and not wanting to push my luck, I cautiously pulled my hand slowly away. He lifted his hand to allow me to escape as though I couldn’t just break his hand to do so, a half-smile pulling on his lips. I pretended not to notice the goosebumps on his arms.

See? he mouthed before deciding to whisper. “You could do it.”

I forced myself to smile and then turned away for the rest of the hour, trying to keep from doing anything stupid like looking at him or killing him. I’d completely forgotten where we were.

When the bell finally rung, I collected my things atop the desk hastily. Edward reached for my backpack and held it up for me.

“Thanks,” I murmured as I dumped my books into the bag. Before I could take it from him, he slid it onto his back and nodded his head once for me to go forward.

Feeling awkward, I turned and allowed him to follow me to the door. I was lucky to walk in front of him, taking the opportunity to breath again as the vent blew out in front of my face.

Exiting the classroom, I paused for a second when I saw Emmett waiting for me across the hallway rather than his typical spot beside the wall of lockers next to our shared Spanish classroom. Even though I was well aware of the fact I’d been dangling my irresponsibility in their faces all day, I still felt as though I was being caught in the act.

Emmett’s eyebrows raised as his golden eyes watched Edward follow behind me, carrying my backpack. I crossed the hallway reluctantly towards my big brother.

“Hello,” I greeted him, avoiding his eyes. I felt smaller than ever beside him with my head down, and yet not small enough as I wished to disappear.

“Hey, little sis,” Emmett began uncertainly, though I glanced up to see his full lips were beginning to stretch into a smile that I didn’t like. “Who’s that with you?”

“Uh…”

“I’m Edward Masen,” the lanky human boy introduced himself confidently as he stopped beside me. “And you must be––”

“Emmett,” my brother interrupted, grinning as though he always so comfortably interacted with humans. This was all too weird, but he looked to be enjoying it far too much. His desire to mess with me and his confidence in Alice’s visions seemed to override the abnormality of speaking to a student so amicably. I watched as he breathed in and shot me a meaningful look. I grimaced.

I opened my mouth to put an end to this torturously awkward interaction, but Emmett interrupted again.

“It’s nice to see you made a friend,” he began, an evil glint in his eyes as he watched my face. I was confused as to where he was going with this because our entire family would come across as misanthropic to the rest of the school, so why should it matter to him. He turned his attention to look at Edward who was closer in height to him. “You know, we worry about her––”

“Okay, let’s go to Spanish,” I cut him off quickly. “Edward, can I have my bag, please?”

Without looking at him, I reached for my backpack as he offered it and threw it over my shoulder, heading down the hallway. It was a massive relief to put some distance between myself and Edward. My thoughts were clearer, and I could breathe freely.

Emmett burst into laughter, his guffaws booming in the hallway. Several students paused in fear making me concerned about Edward’s reaction to my giant of a sibling, but I relaxed when I heard Edward chuckling along with him.

“Um, see you,” Emmett said to Edward before his steady, near silent footfall followed after me.

Even moving at a lethargic human pace, he caught up to me quickly.

“That wasn’t funny,” I grumbled.

“What the hell are you doing?” Emmett chuckled, ignoring my question.

“What the hell are you doing? What was that back there?”

“I don’t know. That was weird, but not as weird as you playing with your food.”

I hissed quietly.

“Damn, I’m kidding, Bells. But seriously, what are you doing? What happened to your high and noble speech about doing the right thing and staying away from the kid? I thought Esme was about to produce real tears. It even softened Rose.”

“Ugh, don’t talk to me about Rosalie right now. She’s been giving me dirty looks all day. It makes me feel awful. I already feel bad!”

“Well, I don’t really care what you do either way so––” I looked at him questionably. “I mean, sure, I want you to do the right thing, whatever that means. I don’t want you to feel miserable. But on one end, I didn’t really mind so much what happened to me.”

“Rosalie did,” I countered.

“Yeah, Rose did,” he acquiesced quietly.

“Anyways, I’m not having that conversation. I wasn’t talking to him today to test whether or not he’s worth it. That’s… unethical.”

“So what were you doing?”

“I don’t know,” I groaned in answer.

Emmett laughed.

“You’re weird these days, Bella.”

“You’re weird everyday,” I quipped back before sighing. “I don’t know. He’s weird, too. I guess… I’m not making any decisions, at all, but if Alice told you what she told me… wouldn’t you be curious?”

Emmett thought it over. “Yeah, I think so. But I also don’t think I’d have even made it to this point,” he admitted. I winced.

“It’s kind of unfair for me to care more about satiating my curiosity and dance with the devil this way, right?”

“Well…he may not know it, but isn’t it more so that Edward’s the one dancing with the devil?”

“Yeah,” I agreed, frowning as we walked into our Spanish class. “I guess it is.”

I made the decision to avoid thinking of Edward for the remaining hour of school. I paid very little attention in Spanish, returning to the familiar mind-numbing boredom that classes had been prior to the last few days. Now that it was in stark contrast to the sudden life breathed into my time at Forks High School by my fixation with Edward, the tedium was no longer something dealt with indifferently and sluggishly. Now, it left me feeling restless, and it almost pained me how laborious it was to sit through a life I wasn’t an active participant in. It was nowhere near the pain of dealing with the excruciating thirst I had around my bronze-haired lab partner, but it almost tampered with my thoughts more knowing I’d feel less miserable if I spent this time analyzing every word Edward shared with me, every fluctuation of his tone, every glint in his perceptive eyes, every expression on his pretty face… But I was becoming too obsessive. The same hunger for adventure that made me fall in love with reading must be what was leading me to so treacherously, so impetuously dive into exploring this insignificant and yet cataclysmic difference in my life.

As though it had a personal vendetta against me, time moved even more lethargically than it ever had before, but finally, the bell signaling the end of school rang. Emmett’s eyes shot a concerned look at me as I rose from my seat too quickly, and I immediately felt embarrassed again. The cautious reminder in his expression made me feel childish as Emmett was never one to care much about bending the rules. 

“See you at home, I guess,” he shook his head, giving me one last look that seemed to suggest I’d lost it.

“See you,” I mumbled, slinging my bag over my shoulder. Leaving Emmett behind to wait for Rosalie, I weaved through the crowded hallway and out to the parking lot. Students were bundling together and squealing at the chilling air as tiny, fluffy snowflakes fluttered down from the overcast sky. The floor of the parking lot was almost as glassy as yesterday as the rain from this afternoon had melted into a thin layer of icy mush. Though there was hardly enough snow for a decent snowball fight, some of the rowdier students were bundling up a pitiful pile of snow to form pathetic snowballs in their fists.

I nearly skipped to the pearly white vehicle parked beside Rosalie’s overly conspicuous crimson car which was forming a small crowd of admirers. Leaning against the trunk of the car, I watched the front doors of the school to look for Edward.

The tangle of reddish-brown hair was easy to spot because of its strange metallic tint as he strolled out of the building with Naomi, the student who’d provided him with the information about my family on his first day. He had his coat folded over his arm, revealing how form fitting his light tan turtleneck was. He truly was a very attractive boy. It was odd that I hadn’t really paid much attention initially. With his dazzling face and tall, lean frame, Edward was pretty enough that for the vampires who searched for exquisitely beautiful humans to create into even more stunning immortals, he could probably be a contender for someone to collect.

Thinking of how Emmett questioned my motives today, I quickly banished the idea of Edward as an immortal from my mind, even if it was only a hypothetical inspired by my observation.

Edward paused, asking Naomi if she could hold on to his backpack for a moment. When she grabbed it, he pulled on his long black coat, and fiddled with the collar. Recollecting his backpack, he slid it onto one shoulder, then rubbed his hands together, blowing the warm air from his mouth to heat them up. Thinking of the sweetness of the smell of his breath made me remember to take in swallows of fresh air before he made his way over to me.

As he was distracted momentarily, I watched as a stray snowball flew towards Edward’s head. I was overcome with the urge to intercept it in the event it may hit him too harshly and knock him to the pavement, but flying across the parking lot inhumanly fast twice in one week was probably not the way to go about correcting my mistakes.

The soggy snowball crashed into Edward’s hair, exploding into shards of ice and water that slid down his prominent cheekbone. I laughed aloud at his shocked expression as the curtain bangs framing his face were immediately drenched, darkening his hair into a brown color. Once he’d realized what happened, his face broke into a good-humored smile.

“Holy shit! Sorry, Edward!” The classmate who had thrown the snowball with poor aim called out.

“No worries!” Edward called back. He shook his head, chuckling as he wiped the water from his face. As he laughed, his eyes found the space where I waited and brightened seeing that I, too, was enjoying the moment.

“Hey, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he told Naomi, who was too beside herself in tears of laughter to reply.

Edward sauntered over towards me, and I inhaled deeply as a fortuitous whisper of wind blew from the tree line. I held onto the notes of crisp eucalyptus, fresh snow, and cedar wood, trying to distract my mind from the offensively mouthwatering scents approaching me.

Edward was a coordinated human, but even he lost his footing on the icy pavement. His body slid forward for a moment, but I stepped towards him to close the space between us and caught him by the elbow.

He looked up from his boots against the frozen parking lot into my eyes, startled momentarily at the swiftness in which I had appeared. Then, his full lips lifted into a crooked smile that creased his astonishing green eyes into half moons. I let go immediately and took a big step back to ensure a safer distance between myself and the warmth of his fragile body. It had been a risky movement, but somehow in comparison to yesterday, it didn’t seem to matter as much. I figured our classmates were too involved in their gawking at the details of my sister’s car or their feeble, slushy snowball fight to notice, and oddly, I didn’t care that Edward had seen. It was beginning to feel too late to keep up certain pretenses.

Although, it wasn’t too late, and it shouldn’t feel that way. I reminded myself I still had every intention of leaving Edward alone once I’d figured out what was so compelling about our paths crossing that had Alice’s visions spiraling in a confusing jumble. I took another step back slowly.

“Thank you,” Edward said, his eyes humored with another secret he didn’t seem willing to share. “You keep saving me.”

“Well, let’s not make this damsel in distress thing habitual,” I snorted, turning so that he couldn’t see the smile forming on my face. I felt shy about showcasing any comfort or happiness in his presence now that I was reminded of how fleeting this experimental friendship was, but I wondered if subconsciously I wanted him to catch me in my misery and ask me to explain, though I wasn’t certain why I wanted to sabotage myself like that. I opened my door and turned to look at him again. “You coming?”

Before he could answer, I dipped into the driver’s seat, and breathed in one last time. Well, once this was all over, I could finally stop inhaling dramatically as though they were truly my last, dying breaths. The air was mostly clean of his scent, but I knew that regardless, the heat of his body would be enough to disrupt my comfort and control. As the thought crossed my mind, I painfully swallowed back the venom pooling beneath my tongue.

Edward swerved through the crowd obsessing over Rosalie’s car and opened the passenger door, sliding into his seat. As he placed his backpack on the floor and fiddled with his seatbelt, I made sure to adjust the air conditioning so that the heat could warm Edward from the frigid Forks air. Though for me, just being in his presence made the intimate interior of the car feel as though I were again sitting by his fireplace.

“That’s a beautiful car,” he murmured. “Is it an M8?”

“Uh, it’s a BMW?” I asked uncertainly as though he’d spoken another language.

Edward grinned as though he wanted to laugh but didn’t want to make me angry. Rosalie would have loved to answer all his questions if he too had an interest in cars. Would have loved to, if she wasn’t deeply offended by my actions or if I had any intention of Edward meeting any more of my family members.

“Ready?” I bit my lip as I forced out any inconsiderate plots of murder that threatened to distract me from being a defensive driver.

“Mhm,” Edward answered.

I reversed out of the parking slot slowly, but as I looked in the rearview once I’d straightened out, I saw the fleeting image of Rosalie’s exquisitely beautiful and exceptionally angry face. I quickly readjusted the mirror to remove my sister’s reflection and sped out of the parking lot in a way that could have taken out a few unlucky students if I didn’t have above average years of driving experience.

Peripherally, I watched as Edward’s thick eyebrows raised, but he decided not to question me. Once we’d reached the main road, I slowed my speed so as not to rush through this time, even though I knew for his safety and my sanity, I should. As I drove, his right hand moved in odd shapes again against the arm rest of the passenger side door as though he were playing piano once more.

I decided to bite and use up some of my limited air supply.

“What are you playing?”

“Clair de Lune again,” he replied. Then, he began to hum the melody aloud for me as he moved his hand.

I thought to offer to play the song for him through the speakers, but I decided against it as I listened to Edward’s soft, velvety voice hum beautifully through the song, breaking the silence.

The ugly, slush-like falling of snow transformed into a falling of rainwater, and Edward’s voice was orchestrated by a lovely symphony of raindrops.

Before his voice could weave into the more involved moments of the piece, Edward stopped.

I looked over at him, curious for the reason as to why. His face was turned away from me so that all I could see was his untidy bronze hair as he gazed out the window. I pulled in front of his driveway and parked against the curb.

Miraculously, I’d made it again. Carefully, I inhaled through my nose to experiment with my control. The sweet bouquet of the boy’s blood was potent and even more mouthwatering than usual from the snow turned rain that’d wet his hair. I hadn’t considered the possibility that he could smell better than before, and I kept myself from groaning aloud as I dug my nails into my own palms. The tingling sensation in my nose was as though I’d sniffed some powerful chemical, the burning sensation in my throat as though I’d taken a long drag of a cigarette. But more painful. More demanding. Desire, need flew from my core out towards my extremities, and the beating of his heart pumping the blood through his body drummed loudly in my ears. It seemed to move through me, my frigid body almost twitching with every pulse, ready to lunge forward and crush his neck to my lips.

“What was your mother like?” He asked me suddenly, his voice soft. Edward turned from the window to face me, and I was bewildered by the intensity of his expression. His eyes were light and beautiful against the gloomy grey of the sky, and they squinted slightly as though studying my face like this information was absolutely essential. But this was not what stunned me, as I’d already seen the severity of this expression before in our ephemeral time together. It was the unexpected vulnerability of his stunning face. The more time I spent looking at him, the more I realized how beautiful this human boy really was. And it seemed a great tragedy for this beautiful boy to harbor such devastation in his eyes.

Whereas previously in his presence, my thoughts had become incoherent due to a lapse in control, now my thoughts were incoherent in distress and desperation to understand what had gone wrong and how I could fix it. I was momentarily dumbfounded, but I pulled myself together after the soft sound of a few droplets of rain against the roof reminded me that he was waiting for an answer.

“Well, she looked a lot like me, but prettier,” I began stupidly. He raised his eyebrows. “Or at least, she used to look a lot like me, and I used to look a lot like her. I don’t so much anymore.” It’d been so long since I’d really spoken about my mom, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. I knew I should have made some comment about whether or not she looked like Esme or Emmett since our story made us siblings, but I didn’t want to taint the rarity of sharing who she was with a lie.

“She was more outgoing than I am,” I continued, thinking through the foggy memories I held onto from my human life.

“That’s difficult to believe,” Edward teased quietly, his lips curving into a half smile.

I laughed, listening to the melodic sound of it, thinking of how it symbolized how very much different I was now from the human girl my mother knew.

“I was always very shy,” I smiled, before speaking up again, caught in the echoes of my past. “She was brave and irresponsible and slightly eccentric. And she was a very unpredictable cook!”

I laughed aloud again thinking of some minor explosions in our tiny kitchen and some questionable dishes. Edward laughed too, but when our laughter faded into the falling of the rain, my smile faded.

“She wasn’t perfect,” I admitted. “I think I recognize now that she was very fallible. I worshipped her when I was younger, but when I think back, I do see how in some of the ways she raised me, I was done a disservice… I grew up too fast. When she died––“ I sighed, feeling insincere and guilty about perpetuating this lie when I really should have said when I died, “––Esme became more of a mother to me, and even Rosalie’s been more traditionally nurturing than my mom ever was… But still, she was my best friend.”

“You miss her,” he murmured simply. I met his gentle eyes.

“Yes,” I bit my lip.

“How old are you, Bella?” Edward asked. “And not the formulaic, theorized version where you were born in your thirties. How old are you really?”

I tensed, wondering if he was asking this again because he’d taken note of how I didn’t directly answer this question the last time he asked.

“Seventeen,” I answered automatically.

“You don’t seem seventeen,” he responded, reproachful.

The tension left my body at the tone of his voice. I smiled again easily.

“Sorry?” I asked, biting my lip to hide the smile, unsure of how to respond.

Edward chuckled and the subtle crinkles by his eyes lit up his face. “Well, I wish you’d been given a happier, normal childhood.”

“I’m fine,” I shrugged, brushing it off. “I hardly remember most of it, and what I do remember reminds me that I probably didn’t have much chance at a normal childhood to begin with. I was terribly shy, remember.

“I did do girl scouts, though….Oh, and ballet briefly,” I admitted, unsure as to why I was volunteering so much information about myself. Wasn’t the purpose of me sitting here to uncover information about him?

“Why does that make you… embarrassed?” Edward’s eyebrows pulled up.

For an odd moment, I felt betrayed by the flush of my cheeks before I realized there was no blood rushing to my face. I blinked, bewildered by the peculiarity of this long buried instinct to become frustrated with my easy blushes when I hadn’t blushed for years. I felt self conscious as I wondered what Edward saw reading my expression to so perfectly decipher my feelings.

“I was very uncoordinated,” I dismissed his question as I fought the urge for my hand to flutter to touch my cool cheek.

“Now that truly is difficult to believe,” Edward half-smiled. “I can’t imagine I’ve seen anyone as graceful as you.”

I laughed aloud at his compliment, though I didn’t doubt his sincerity. I knew this was true of myself. It was true of all of our kind to appear fluid and effortless, but still, no one had ever applied the word to me. My vampiric poise was irrelevant and unimpressive to my family, and the very few humans brave enough to overcome their nerves to compliment me typically found their words to fail them.

“You’re very odd,” I beamed.

“What do you mean?” The bronze-haired boy asked, again wanting to be let in on the secret. While I had an insatiable thirst, it seemed he had an insatiable curiosity.

“How old are you really? Your word choice is bizarre for someone your age, you know.”

“Oh,” he laughed easily. “Well, I’m actually not seventeen. I’m eighteen. But I’ll try to strictly adhere to a more teenage vernacular, so I can compliment you in a more acceptable way from now on.”

I looked out at the dim light of the brewing storm, my smile fading as I decided that I should probably allow him to escape me before I did something I’d regret. But I knew I wasn’t resolved enough to completely leave him alone. He made me monopolize too much of the conversation, and I wasn’t satisfied with what I knew about him yet.

I sighed aloud, and Edward, too, looked out at the rain darkened sky.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” he asked hopefully, making the assumption that our conversation was coming to an end.

“Yes,” I promised reluctantly. My eyes flickered back over to his pretty face, studying the lines of his strong jaw, his chiseled cheekbones, his full lips, committing this inconsequential face to memory as I silently resolved that this should be –– and would be –– one of the last times I’d allow myself to be this close to him. Tomorrow may well be the very last.

Likewise, as though his thoughts were in the same vein, his beautiful green eyes studied my face as well, though he did so in that mysterious way of his where he looked at me as though hoping to read my mind.

He sighed, then collected his backpack. Edward opened the door, stepping out into the bitterly cold weather. A shiver ran through his lanky body, making my body tense with perverse excitement. I cringed away from the deadly instinct and swallowed against the dryness of my yearning throat.

Edward’s tall, lean frame leaned down to peek into the car.

“Goodnight, Bella,” he spoke softly.

“Goodnight, Edward,” I almost whispered, gazing into the beauty of his dazzling green eyes.

Edward smiled his half smile, and closed the door, escaping into the building torrent of rain.

I gasped in relief at his absence, then stiffened realizing how the cab of the car was still heavily perfumed with his scent. I took in another deep breath, forcing myself to confront the burning thirst again, willing myself to manage it. I sighed as I hit the gas, making Edward disappear behind me.

  Both my control and the rain pour strengthened significantly as I turned onto the long drive leading to my house. I grimaced as I wondered how I’d face my family and explain the complete reversal of what I’d promised to do. I didn’t have time to consider for much longer as suddenly, a figure appeared instantaneously in the drive. I slammed my foot on the brake immediately in shock at its appearance, not wanting to total yet another car against one of my siblings.

I peered through the windshield, unable to see through the complete downpour that submerged my vehicle as though it were underwater. It was annoying for my perfect sight to be obstructed by anything, rainwater or even the transparent windshield because of my eyes’ desire to focus on the microscopic scratches.

The car violently screeched against the muddy pavement, and it looked as though we would have to bid this car goodbye until the figure hidden by the storm placed their hands out on the car roughly and forced it to a stop. The tires screamed in protest, and the metal groaned as it warped into the shape of the palms. I listened as it unnaturally bent again in a piercing moan as the figure fixed the indentions they’d created.

My windshield wipers swatted away a flood of water. Finally, I could make out my sister Rosalie, her hair dripping wet down her back like a supermodel who’d just emerged from a pool on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Her exquisite face was absolutely furious.

I gulped, feeling like a child who’d just been discovered sneaking home past curfew.

I felt uncertain as to what to do and why she’d chosen to stop me here. Surely she could wait for us to be under the cover of the garage before she chastised me. Not wanting to be drenched by the rain, I revved the engine to ask her to move aside, but the car didn’t inch forward against her strength. Beginning to feel annoyed, I revved the engine again loudly and for longer, but still, she didn’t move.

“Rose,” I hissed as I hit the brake again so that the car could roar viciously in the storm, only to be cut off by the voice of my adopted mother.

“Girls!” I couldn’t see Esme through the obscured glass behind the downpour, but even with the barrage of the rain, I could hear her lithe steps run furiously to the front porch. “Please!”

Rose’s head snapped up to look in Esme’s direction before turning to glance unhappily back at me. She stepped aside, and I sped into the garage, parking the car hastily.

I exited immediately and went to expect the damage to the front of the hood. It was only a minuscule bend from having been pushed and prodded back and forth, and I was positive Rosalie could make it look like new, though why it had been necessary to punish the car was beyond me. It wasn’t even mine.

I wheeled around once I’d heard the near-silent steps of her run, a wave of anger making me forget my guilt.

“Are you insane?!” I demanded.

“I could ask the same of you, Bella!” Now free from the obscurity of the rain, I could see in perfect detail the stunning fury of her glorious face. Her golden hair had been darkened by the rain, and it was slicked back effortlessly, like a glittering waterfall down to the middle of her back. She looked like a wrathful god, but I couldn’t find it in my stubbornness to care about how valid her anger may be.

“Okay, but did you have to take it out on the car? What did it ever do to you! You couldn’t have waited another twenty seconds to confront me? Well, you have my attention now, Rosalie, so say whatever it is you want to say!”

“You’re just unbelievable, Bella!”

“He’s not going to say anything, Rose! We already talked about this yesterday. You heard Alice! He’s not a threat to you and Emmett, so I don’t understand why you’re taking this so personally.”

“Exactly, Bella. I heard Alice. Which is precisely why I fail to understand as to why you wouldn’t understand why I’d take it so personally. After all these years of sisterhood, how can you not understand how I feel about this?”

I frowned, my forehead puckering, but still, I retained my anger. She huffed, continuing.

“If it was an inevitability, I’d understand. However, it hurts me deeply that you recognize the choice that you have. The choice that Edward has. And still, you’re willing to play with his mortality as though it were a game, when I never had that choice.”

I froze, the realization dawning on me that she was right. No matter the ways in which I tried to justify my actions or spin my intentions, she was right. Another part of my mind acknowledged that while I was aware of right and wrong, I wasn’t certain that what was right would be enough to keep me away anymore.

We stared each other down much like we had yesterday. Only today, rather than anger, her face was contorted in hurt, and mine was contorted in hopelessness.

“But… you found Emmett when he was still human…” I weakly protested, selfishly trying to highlight the irony, though I knew it was pointless as I wasn’t advocating for Edward to be changed either. That was too complicated a thought to wrap my mind around. But whatever may happen –– and I was still very much aware of the worst of possibilities –– I didn’t want my sister to hate me for it.

“He was dying, Bella,” Rosalie whispered. The anger on her face had completely faded, and in its place, pain marked her eyebrows, her full lips, her golden, sad eyes. In her sadness, she looked like a work of art, like one of those paintings of a weeping saint. “It’s not the same.”

I didn’t have a response to that, and I felt as though I was at an impasse, both with myself and with Rosalie. Because I knew the promises I’d made and broken, but I knew the promise I’d made to Edward today, and I had no willpower, no desire, and no intention to break that promise.

“You may not feel anything for him now,” Rosalie began, her eyes intently fierce as they bore into mine to warn me. Only this warning felt significantly more horrible than I’d imagined it may be, because it wasn’t made in anger, but in desperation and love. “But if Alice is right, you will. And it seems to me a horrible way to repay someone you love to steal their life, their future, their soul from them. You should leave him alone now while you still can, because once you love him… it’ll only hurt more one way or another. And you’ll have to live with that for the rest of your existence. I know I have.”

And with that, Rose turned, her face cold and sad, and she left the garage.

[latinozevran-archive]

okay finally making thorough post abt sgrs ending for just future reference for anyone if they are interested in watching bc i do think its important to know first.. tried to keep it as spoiler free as possible other than the obvious and sry for the length kajshdf but anyways i am going to put the rest under a read more ♥️ and cw incest mention

ok i am gonna try to make this as comprehensible as possible i have had a few stabs at this already w friends so hope this goes well bc there's a lot to unpack abt this but the first thing to understand abt it is 1) imo the twist u are given is ABSOLUTELY a fucking lie and given the amnt of times i have now seen the show i feel very confident in this, and 2) it is a very easy scene to note the start of and then skip which i will mention @ the end..

all right so no stalling getting into the twist itself and then uh. explaining after. but first assuming no context for what sgrs is about:

the story is largely abt like family what it means etc following the course of one mans life! he has an adopted daughter child of ex-beard and ex-man he was in love with his whole life who passed away and they have a very complicated difficult relationship and a major part of s2 is about them beginning to repair that as they both get older and what happens when she has a baby and he actually finds himself unexpectedly loving being a grandfather and it being like his second chance to have a child in his life and treat him with the warmth and kindness he failed to show his daughter when she was younger but also just spoiling him rotten in true grandparent fashion askfhksndbf... it is all very sweet and moving. thing abt mr baby is his mom has him on her own no father in the picture it provides at one point an explanation for who the bio father may be with somewhat of an implication that may not rly be who it is i am so sorry if you can already see where this is going promise there will only be like one more sentence of this and then i can explain AKSJD.

THUS the mind numbingly evil bit is a side character at the end going up to the daughter years after protags death and going wink wink u know all this time i must admit i had a theory abt who your sons father was.. and this evil little man rly suggests the protag was her sons father like jfc and of course bc the authors evil she rly left it w konatsu just going well >:) whos to say. i am never gonna answer that question tho.

OKAY SO ONTO LIKE CONTEXT bc i had none when i first watched and i will say this sent me spiraling a bit my god my god.

FIRST THING. i do wanna explain why its a plain ass lie but i also need to clarify in no way is it excusable as a writing decision.. the author is a supremely fucked up woman who i do not intend to excuse for anything she has written esp this and my take on her um. decision making here was more like a fucked up reference to evil tropes than utilizing them herself bc i wouldnt put it past her to have done that frankly but it wouldve had to simply be a different story than it was. absolutely no quarrel w someone who doesnt want to watch it given all this like it really is... yeah. also no need to touch the manga the animes better anyways lol

2) ok if u are still reading... i think context for who is saying what is very important it is a man who you are consistently told has had it out for the protagonist for YEARS and really is shown to have something just a little off about him the evil shit he will sometimes say out of the blue building up to this... he is NOT framed as a reliable source of info. secondly like konatsu truly is his daughter man her freakishly evasive reply if it were abt anything else truly would be funny i hate it here

3) i am not gonna bother listing all the reasons it is false bc it would be way too long unless anyone wants 2 ask me further but highlight reel how much of the story is abt their parent child dynamics, the fact that he was.. in love w her father and helped raise her a bit with him even when he was still alive, just about every other thing abt their relationship and also his relationship with his grandson, etc... and also the fact that lying and shaping narratives of a life is um . a major element of the story and for someone to kind of pathetically attempt to do that after kikuhiko's death is definitely intentional

4) LASTLY it is tempting to think the story is in 2 parts bc s1 feels like such an isolated story u would think part 2 is maybe only partially related but i promise it isnt and changes the meaning of season 1 fairly significantly so if this seems like it is something u are up for i would definitely recommend watching them both season 2 really is very good otherwise and also wanna stress this is not like. the Ending of sgrs this is an individual scene in the last episode that is upsetting enough to overshadow everything else if ur unprepared but in the grand scheme of things far from the most important plot thing going on

AND THE THING I PROMISED UP TOP: if u actually do watch, there is a scene that starts w konatsu and higuchi sitting down having a conversation, nothing super important happens u can either skip the conversation altogether or specifically once they are alone bc the kids are there for a bit, and thats it :)

THANK U FOR READING... HAVE FUN STAY SAFE

[bittersweetmelxdy]

heyy, I know that u are also currently doing the christmas countdowns prompts... But if u'd wanna, how abt Lucien teaching Mc something for work or actually anything! I absolutely love your writing and I hope u are happy,because your prompts made me always rllly happy😊

hahaha.... does this show how far behind in requests I am... sorry this is late but here it is, hope you like it x

Also this may not be entirely accurate, I am doing a science degree but I haven’t grown a bacteria culture in a petri dish for a while, and the last time I can remember I was in year 10 I think (14 years old), so this is what I remember doing, so it probably isn’t proper scientific procedure.

Title: dating a scientist has some perks Pairing: Lucien x MC Words: 1,273

You had come to the Loveland Research Centre as you had a half day and you were currently waiting for Lucien to finish up the last bits of his work, so you both could go home. You were sitting on the sofa for visitors and were sneaking glances at him secretly. However, Lucien had always been an observant individual, and he smiled noticing how conspicuous you were being. 

Raising his head, he put down his papers in hand, “Do you need something?”  

“Can I ask for some advice?” you bit your lip lightly, in slight hesitation as you didn’t want to bother him whilst he was working.

“Is it for a show?” Lucien quirked an eyebrow at you, and at your nod, he pushed his chair back a little from the table and held his hand out towards you.

You swung your legs out from under you, and then gingerly stood up walking towards your boyfriend. Placing your hand lightly in his, you let out a slight yelp of surprise as Lucien used his grip on your hand to pull you into his lap as a tangle of limbs. You squirmed in his embrace, and Lucien kept his arms loosely around you, keeping you where you were but allowing you to situate yourself to be more comfortable. Once you ceased your wriggling, Lucien pressed a kiss to your temple, and then waited for you to ask him for help. You unlocked your phone, bringing up the document that was relevant to the problem you were having.  

“We’re doing a program on how scientists like yourself analyse different diseases, so that the public can become more knowledgeable on the subject. The program we’ve outlined looks like this...” Lucien smiled lightly as you explained the show and it’s structure with clarity pointing out the highlights for him to consider, and he nodded, his heart full of pride for his girl, and he gave you another kiss, this time to your cheek, as a reward.

“So, what is the problem you are facing?” Lucien didn’t beat around the bush, and directly asked you what you needed from him, as he was always happy to help when it came to you.

“I’m just curious, how do you grow those bacteria plates; you know on those clear plates?” you asked, looking up at him, your curious eyes fixed on him.

“Do you want to grow one?” Lucien asked, figuring that the best way to teach you, was probably to show you.

You nodded excitedly and you hopped up, pulling Lucien up as well with your hands around his wrists, an amused expression painted his face as he led you to one of the free labs. After helping you suit up in the appropriate PPE (Personal Protection Equipment), including your own lab coat, goggles and nitrile gloves. You giggled, feeling a little silly dressing up with the help of your boyfriend, but when he was done, you posed dramatically for him, turning this way and that to show Lucien your figure in the lab coat.

“So, how do I look?” You threw a playful wink at him.

Lucien shook his head, releasing a huff of amusement, fixing the lapels of the lab coat, “It suits you very well.” he kissed your forehead lightly.  

Like the gentleman he is, Lucien held the door open for you and then after indicating you to sit down, he gathered the various tools from different cupboards, setting them out in front of you. You immediately reached towards the petri dish to open it, but you were stopped by Lucien’s hands covering yours.

“If you open it now, you won’t do it properly. We need to keep it sterile for as long as possible for the best results.” at you nod of agreement Lucien took a lighter out of his pocket, and passed the flame across the tip of a metal scraper a few times before explaining patiently, “All the equipment is stored properly but these just endures that it is completely sterile before we start.”  

Lucien then handed it carefully to you and you held it tightly, awaiting further instructions. Lucien then carefully opened the small bottle containing a bacteria sample, and under his watchful eye you scraped a small amount onto the metal scraper, lifting it up but keeping it far from your face and close to the bench. Then you scratched the jelly in the petri dish with the bacteria sample, after Lucien lifted the lid and then he closed it tightly. He then desterilized the metal scraper using the lighter to kill the bacteria and then placed it in a tray to be further sterilised by the technicians. You found a label and a pen and wrote the date and you name carefully upon it and then stuck it down, and Lucien helped you taped the lid securely, to ensure only your bacteria sample would grow.  

“Are we done?” Lucien looked up at your question, watching you as you squinted through the clear lid at the dish, wondering why nothing was happening.

Lucien knocked his knuckle lightly on the top of your head, “It needs at least a week to grow, so be patient and next week you can come back and see it.” he then held out his hand, and you placed it on his outstretched palm, and then Lucien went to put it where they kept the other lab cultures.

The next week went by so slowly for you, you had marked the date exactly one week from the day you had grown your lab culture and as you marked off the days you couldn’t help but claim to Lucien how slowly time was passing. Lucien would only smirk and continue to tell you to be patient, punctuating his statement with a kiss to either your temple or cheek. He had noticed that you had even been visiting him a lot more often at the research centre, claiming you were only “passing by”, and he knew you were just excited to see your hard work come to fruition.

Finally... finally, a week had passed, and you were bouncing with every step as Lucien led you into the lab. He handed you the petri dish nonchalantly, and he watched with affectionate eyes as you held onto the dish like it was made of gold. Lucien crouched slightly, pushing his head next to yours, and helped you lift the dish above you head so you could see the underneath, and you gasp was everything to him. Looking to the side, he saw your eyes glittering, a trembling finger ran across the plastic surface, running over the butter yellow circles, that Lucien explained in his calming tone were the bacteria cultures you had grown. Lucien loved the fact that you were so excited to take a step into his line of work and being able to teach you even a little of the work he often partakes in, made him really happy. After you had taken plenty of pictures of the bacteria culture on your phone and posted a picture to your moments, you placed the petri dish on the bench and threw yourself at Lucien, wrapping your arms on his neck, a bright smile stretched across your face.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” you babbled into Lucien’s neck, before pulling away slightly, standing on your tip-toes, “I know you’re busy, but I’ve always wanted to learn about this.”

Lucien shook his head, lowering his forehead to rest against yours, “It’s no trouble, like I said, if you ever need any help, I want to be the first person you call.”

[supernaturalfanluc]

@superduckbatrebel : Okay, so what abt a fic where Dean and Cas work on a place (You can choose which) And they seem like they're dating, everyone thinks so. But one day, Dean shows up with his new girlfriend Lisa and everyone learns that Dean and Cas were never dating, and then you make your ending, IDK it's okay if you think it sound boring, it's jut one idea

Thank you for the idea, I shifted a few things around. I know it’s not quite what you expected it to be, but I hope you like it.

“Cas!” I heard Dean’s familiar voice from across the apartment.

“Yes, Dean?” I responded as I searched through all the boxes. We had just moved into an apartment together. We thought that since we were both going to the same highschool and needed to get away from our homes, it would be financially easier to rent out an apartment together.

“Gabe and Sammy are going to come over to help us unpack and then we’re gonna head over to the diner.” Dean’s cucumber green eyes landed on my vibrant blue eyes for a second before they flew across the room.

“Okay! Guess we will see the two bringers of destruction soon.” I sighed thinking about the last time Gabe and Sam got together to prank the both of us.

“Yep! I’ll leave you to it and make sure to hurry your feathery-”

“Dean!”

“What!?” I glared at him, which, somehow answered his question.

I picked up my box and took it over to my room while dean followed silently behind me. We dropped my boxes off into my room before doing the same to his. We worked in comfortable silence before the doorbell rang.

“I’LL GET IT!” I screamed from across the room as I ran trying to get to the door before dean. Dean sprinted towards the door and before I could stop myself I tripped and flew right at him causing us to go stumbling across the room.

“It’s open.” Dean groaned as I tried to get out of the wrapped up mess we were. His leg was hooked around mine while he layed on my arm. I could feel my other arm stuck between around legs. His free hand was on the side of his head rubbing the spot that collided with the wall. His other one was also stuck between us.

I heard someone open the door while I let my head drop onto Dean’s chest. I let out an exasperated sigh once I gave up trying to get out of the knot we were in. Dean laughed as he watched me struggle.

“Dean, what do you think you’re doing?” I hear sam say with just as much of the amount of sass as my brother‘s candy.

“Dog pile!” I hear Gabe scream as he and Sam come running at us. I bit down on Dean’s leather jacket as I fought back a scream. I felt the pain hit me and it hit me hard. Suddenly, I heard a loud pop in my arm. I shook the pain off even though it felt like a thousand knives were going through me when I moved it. Dean must’ve heard the noise because he struggled as he tried and failed to push Sam and Gabe off.

I smiled weakly at him before yelling at them to get off and held me and Dean unravel ourselves. As soon as they got up, I felt some of the pain and pressure leave my arm. I let out a relieved sigh. Once they pulled Dean and me apart, Dean immediately checked my arm to make sure it was okay.

“DUDE!!!” Dean said with a gasp. “You fractured my little angel’s arm!” 

“What!?” I said confused.

“GABE!!!!!” Sam whined.

“It wasn’t me you oversized moose!” Gabe replied defensively.

“With all the candy you eat, you are just as bad as me!” Sam stuck his tongue out at Gabe. Gabe ran over and licked it before Sam could retract it. Gabe winked at Sam’s shocked face as Dean and I let out ooo’s and aww’s.

“Well are you going to help us unpack or not?” I said frustrated at my hungry stomach.

Sam and Gabe let out out groans before retreating to our rooms. Gabe went into mine and Sam went into Dean’s. I could hear Sam teasing Dean before asking him what happened before they opened the door. I laughed to myself as I thought about my clumsiness.

Before long, we had finished unpacking and we’re on our way to the diner. Jo, Ash, and Ellen were all going to be there today. I smiled fondly as I thought about how kind they all are to me. Even though they are Dean’s family, they treat me like family too. It must be because they’ve known me for so long.

We ordered what we normally do before a lovely looking brunette haired woman walked over to our table. Sam and Gabe exchanged looks as they walked her walk over like she owned the place. I looked at them confused while they just smiled and shrugged.

“Hey dean,” she said with a bright smile, “you still up for tonight?” She winked at him as his cheeks turned slightly pink.

“Umm...” His voice trailed off as he looked at me shyly before turning his attention back at her. “Yea, seven tonight, my place.” He smiled as he wrote down our apartment number and address on a napkin and handed it back to her.

I got cleared my throat and excused myself, not wanting to hear the rest of the conversation as I walked over to the restroom. I opened one of the stall doors and sulked in. I have had a crush on Dean for a while now... At first, it started off as a great friendship, then we became best friends, and soon family, then those feelings developed into more. I always pushed it away not wanting to confront the sad truth that Dean would never like me back.

I silently sobbed with my head in my hands. I sat down on the closed seat of the toilet for about five minutes before I heard the door open and someone walk in. I whipped my eyes as I pretended to get up from finishing and flushed the toilet. I pulled out my phone and checked my eyes to make sure it wasn’t visible that I had been crying. I sighed, I have cried a lot growing up and had learned a thing or two about hiding the fact that I had been crying. I’ve hidden it so much I guess my body had gotten used to the fact that it needed to remain hidden.

“Are you okay?” I heard Sam’s voice echo through the bathroom. There was the smallest hint of empathy and worry in his voice.

“Of course, just needed to use the restroom.” I looked down and realized that my fly was undone. Thank goodness, I thought to myself as I loudly zipped it back up. I hoped that Sam would hear that as use it as proof that I had indeed come to use the restroom.

“Okay, whatever you say.” I walked out of the restroom to find Sam washing his hands. I leaned over the one on his left and decided to do the same. I smiled thankful for the silence. We exchanged a look that said more than a million words ever could. A few years ago, I had told Sam how I felt about Dean. I’ve always trusted him and he’s confided in me as well. He said he understood and revealed the fact that he had feelings for my brother. We have been there for each other ever since, always there in case one of us needed to let it out.

We walked back out to find that Dean and Lisa had left to go out for a walk by the park. Gabe smiled at Sam the second he Sam him and ran over to drag him back to the booth. I laughed as I watched Sam get confused with all the mixed signals he was getting. If I was him, I would be confused too. We always knew that Gabe was pansexual, it just confused us on whether or not he liked Sam too.

“So, what’s with Lisa?” I watched Gabe look at Sam for help. Sam just pushed Gabe and motioned for him to tell me.

“Dean and Lisa have been dating for a while now, but they haven’t told anyone. Dean’s keeping it a secret from you. Dean didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or make you feel like your friendship was going to die out.” Gabe sighed, he knew how I felt about Dean too. I didn’t tell him but he figured it out. Most people assumed Dean and I were dating but it was just how close our friendship was.

“Yea, but don’t worry, he’s probably going to figure out how quick she is to move on and go onto another guy. She isn’t the most faithful person, maybe when she’s older she’ll straighten out.” Sam looked at me hopefully. I smiled at him and gave them a hug, thankful that they were always there for me.

Once we were done eating, I got the check and paid for all of us. Dean was supposed to pay but he didn’t leave any money. I guess he got so caught up in the presence of his girlfriend which he didn’t tell me— his best friend, that’s always been there for him, and shown him nothing but loyalty, love, and respect— about.

We walked home once we realized that Dean also took the keys of the impala with him. I smiled weakly while Gabe and Sam tried cheering me up along the way, telling me jokes and funny stories while making a fool out of themselves.

We got home and I allowed Sam and Gabe to spend the night. They stayed in my room while I grabbed some blankets and took the couch. I didn’t bother changing or taking a shower and just went to bed before Dean and Lisa could get home.

~~~~~~~~~~ The next day ~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up and found myself wrapped in Dean’s blankets. I looked around confused and realized that I was in Dean’s room. I peeked out the door and was surprised by the sight of breakfast and Sam, Gabe, Lisa, and Dean all sitting down at the table laughing. I softly closed the door and curled back up on Dean’s bed as I fell back asleep.

“Wake up!” I heard someone say as their body fell onto mine. I groaned remembering how much my arm hurt when pressure was applied to it. I hadn’t moved it much the other day but I could tell it was already getting better, I’m a pretty fast healer. It’s almost inhuman.

“I’m awake.” I mumbled as I felt someone else shake the bed.

“Hell yea! We have school today! You better be awake now, Cassie!” I jolted away once I heard Gabes voice echo from the opposite side of the room as Sam.

“I AM AWAKE!” I ran out the door and was surprised to find Lisa sitting outside on her phone. I squealed when I felt Dean’s strong arms grip me and drag me back to his room.

“Hey! You assbutt!” I screeched.

“Assbutt?” Dean asked amused as I blushed.

“We already got you some clothes.” Sam said as Gabe showered me in perfume.

“What’s that!” I asked through sneezes. “It’s giving me a headache!!! Why does it smell like artificial strawberries?”

“It’s Lisa’s, she agreed to let me shower you with it once you woke up.” Gabe smiled innocently.

“IM GONNA KILL YOU!!!!” I screamed as I quickly threw off all my clothes.

“Get some underwear on first! We have a lady in this home!” Dean squealed as I ran out of his room chasing Gabe. I stopped in my tracks as I looked right up at Lisa’s amused face. I turned around and caught the underwear Sam threw at me. I ran after Gabe, throwing them on in the process. I tackled him and grabbed the perfume out of his hands as I sprayed it viscously on him. I ran back into Dean’s room and threw on my clothes.

“Let’s go!” I said as I ran back out, throwing a pancake into my mouth in the process. We all ran to the impala and jumped in as we raced to school. We got there just a few minutes before the bell rang, barely getting into our classes.

When I came out as gay to the school last year, a lot of people had taken that as a reason to bully me some more. I always struggled with being bullied. My name, clothes, and weak way of being didn’t help. Dean was one of the most popular boys in the school. He always tried to help but his friends always forcefully pulled him back.

I sighed as I sat through another long day of being called a fag and other names. I was beaten in the parking lot during lunch and pelted in spit balls during class. Gabe helped me clean myself up and apply some makeup after lunch. Dean has only ever heard the names they’ve called me, he never knew about the abuse. It must’ve helped that he was barely in any of my classes. People have learned to keep it hidden from Dean and so have I.

Once school ended, I ran back home. I opened up the apartment and plopped down onto my bed, locking the doors behind me. I cried into my pillow before Dean could get home. Once I stopped, I got up and jumped into the shower. I smiled as the cold water hit me like a refreshing wave. Before I knew it, the door to the apartment opened up. I heard keys jingle as they feel onto what I believe to be the couch. I heard Dean hum a tune we both knew very well. I stopped the water near the end of the song. As I stepped out I sang “For I can't help falling in love with you...”

“Elvis...” Dean said as he opened the door and smiled a toothy grin. I leaped back into the curtains and fell inside the bathtub. I sighed thinking about how clumsy I was while Dean laughed at me. Once he was done laughing, he helped me up and out of the curtain. I hid my face in embarrassment the entire time. He tossed me the towel and I changed into my clothes. He looked entertained while he threw off his clothes and hopped into the shower. Once I finished, I picked up my stuff and closed the door behind me leaving Dean to hum his tunes alone.

I walked into my room and gasped as I looked into the mirror. I saw all the bruises and cuts that I have accumulated and realized that Dean might’ve seen. Yesterday, I had been wearing makeup just in case. Once I took the shower it must’ve all washed off. I groaned hoping that he was too caught up in his fit of laugher to realize.

Later on around dinner, Dean had made a delicious pie and some burgers. Cheeseburgers are my favorite and he knew that so he had made some just for me. We sat down at the table with the lights off and some candles lit so that the electric bill won’t be too high. I smiled as I bit down into the delicious burger. Dean looked at me with a look I couldn’t quite identify. I smiled up at him as I devoured the delicious burger. I wonder if Dean tastes better.

“Cas?” Dean asked me, he was happy to see that I was enjoying the food he made.

“Yes?” I said as I bit down taking another big bite. I moaned thinking about how delicious it tasted. Dean’s cooking was one of a kind.

“What do you think of Lisa?” I chocked on my burger and fought the urge to cough. I sat their red faced as I reached for the water and guzzled it down.

“Wow. That bad.” Dean sighed and I could almost hear the disappointment in his voice. I looked back up at him, ashamed of myself for letting my feelings get in the way of our friendship.

“No! I’m sorry, I was just surprised by the question. I didn’t really know about her. I just found out last night.” I mentally slapped myself for being so awkward. Dean shifted in his seat and the silence was biting at me.

“Okay...” Dean’s voice trailed off and he ran his hands through his hair. I ate my food even though I had lost my appetite. I know, it’s horrible for me to be such a jerk. Dean is my best friend after all, I should be supportive.

“She’s great. She’s pretty and kind and caring. She has a wonderful personality and seems to really love you.” I blurted out. I didn’t mean most of what I had said but I said it anyways. I wanted to make Dean happy even if that meant putting myself down.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for a while now. Self harm and suicidal thoughts were a horrible side affect to that. A little more sadness wouldn’t cause much more harm than has already been done. I’ve been abused, neglected, bullied, hurt, and so much more.

My parents kicked me out as soon as they realized that I was gay. Most people think I’m gay anyways. No one really gave me time to explain that I was bisexual. I just told my parents that I liked boys one day and they immediately assumed. They told the school before they kicked me out of the house. The word got out from the principle to the teachers and from the teachers to the students.

Whenever I tried to explain they all just thought I was saying that to make my punishment less painful. Thankfully, Dean, Sam, Gabe, Balthy, Charlie, Kevin, Benny, and a few others believed me. Even though Dean is the most popular jock in school, that doesn’t stop him from being friends with the school punch bag aka freak. Some of Dean’s friends are my friends too now. Most of them aren’t aware of how I’m treated either. The ones that are dont say much because they aren’t as close with Dean.

“Cas!” I felt strong hands grip my shoulder and shake me. I leaped up from my chair and turned around pinning the person to the wall. My vision was blurry and it didn’t help that I couldn’t see very well in the dark. I wiped the wetness away from my eyes and focused on the person in front of me. I let go as soon as I realized it was Dean.

“Cas, are you okay?” Dean looked at me, concern flooding his eyes. “Where did all those scratches and bruises come from? Are you wearing makeup? Cas!”

“I- I... Dean! I’m okay, I was playing soccer with Gabe earlier and I tripped over a rock. His foot ending up colliding with my face during the fall.” I looked at Dean and felt bad for lying to him. I was surprised by how quick and easy it had become for me to lie. Dean looked at me and nodded.

“You didn’t have to hide that from me. You fall all the time you klutz.” Dean chucked and I soon felt my face flush a deep red.

“I do not!”

“Do too!”

“I’m going to bed, assbutt!”

“Fine! Me too!”

Dean and I stormed to our rooms while laughing. I plopped down onto my bed and closed my eyes ready for another day in hell.

~~~~~~~~~~ Next Day ~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to the wonderful smell of freshly baked pancakes. I wondered into the kitchen after my shower while I clumsily threw my clothes on. I sat down at the table admiring Dean from afar. Once he turned around my eyes flickered to the pan in his hand. I laughed as I thought about Gabe.

“Ready for breakfast?” He said throwing the food down.

Once we finished gobbling down our food, we got into the car, picked up sam and Gabe, and drove to school. The rest of our siblings lived together and drove each other to school. John was out at work a lot and Mary had sadly passed away. Adam stayed with the Novak’s and had a very good relationship with all the siblings. As soon as we got to school, we parted ways.

“Hey Novak!” I heard an all too familiar voice yell from down the hall. I looked around eager for an exit only to find out that I was cornered. I looked back at my school bullies as I collapsed on the floor and let their beatings take over. I sobbed once it was done. Their kicks and insults flooding my brain. Their punches beating me down more than usual. I crawled into the bathroom and fumbled through my pocket.

I grabbed an all too familiar blade. I felt the cold metal brush against my finger tips. I walked into a stall and shut the door behind me. I didn’t bother to check if there was anyone else in the bathroom. I didn’t care anymore. I needed this. I took in a shaky breath as I put the smooth blade up against my skin. I pushed down and sliced into my skin. I watched as the wound took some time to open up and let out the all too familiar red color. I moaned as I felt the pain remind me I was still alive. I was still in control. I had some say in the world. I could decide whether I lived or died.

I walked out of the stall and put the blade back into my pocket. I washed my hands and let out a gasp when I turned around to see Dean. I pulled my sleeves down but by then it was too late. He knew. He knew everything.

I tried to run. I tried to get away but he just grabbed my other arm. He pulled me in close to his chest and I let out an ugly sob. I cried into him until I heard the bell ring. I pulled away from him and saw the sympathy in his eyes.

“We will talk about this later. Stay safe, goodbye.” Dean walked out of the bathroom and I looked myself in the mirror happy to see that my body had already adjusted. I walked out and was glad that my body had been able to heal so well and so fast. Sure some of today’s scratches and bruises were there but yesterday’s were barely visible. My mother used to say it was a gift. That was before she left.

The rest of the day went my smoothly. I didn’t get much more trouble. I did get some insults thrown at me but nothing physical. I was happy to see Sam and Gabe come out with grins on their faces when they pulled me into a hug.

“Rough day?” Sam poked my rib playfully.

“You could say that.” I rolled my eyes when Gabe scanned me.

“I’m gonna go home! See you guys tomorrow!” I ran off before they could say anything else.

When I got home, I found Dean and Lisa sitting close together on the couch. I took off my trench coat and hung it. I walked to my room and gave them their privacy. I dropped my keys into my bed and opened up my books to study.

Dean didn’t end up making dinner for me today. He did make some for Lisa though. I don’t mind. I’m not hungry much anyways. I’m sure other people deserve food more than I do. I did get to study and read some fanfic.

I threw off my shoes and plopped into bed. It was warm today so I pulled off my clothes and stayed in my boxers. I sighed relieved to be out of my clothes and getting some breeze. I closed my eyes ready for another day in hell.

~~~~~~~~~~ A few weeks later ~~~~~~~~~

Dean and Lisa have been publicly dating in school now. He’s grown distant and she’s been spending more and more nights over. The bad thoughts and habits have grown more and more common. Sam and Gabe have grown worried about me and come over to check up on me a lot. My grades haven’t dropped and the abuse has gone up. My self esteem and mental well-being has dropped though. I’m drowning in my negativity.

Today is a Tuesday? No, yesterday was Tuesday. I opened up my phone to check the calendar and as it turns out it is Tuesday. That’s strange I was pretty sure it was Wednesday. It must be the depression and/or anxiety speaking.

I walked out the door to find Dean and Lisa having breakfast just like they did yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that... I sighed as I opened up the fridge and grabbed an energy drink. I ran out the door and realized I was still in the same clothes as yesterday. Whatever.

I got to school and was greeted by the same treatment. Everything was the same. Same old school, same old friends -I have none-, same old teachers, same old classes, same old bullies. I sighed as I sat through the day wondering when it would be over.

After class, Crowley, Abbadon, and a few others pulled me out to the parking lot for the usual treatment.

~~~~~~~~~ Time jump 1 month ~~~~~~~~~~

“Cas! Come on! We are going to be late for the party!” Dean shouted from across the room. He was tugging his pants on while I was focused on taming my hair. After a few tries I gave up.

“Dean!!! I’m the one waiting on you!” I said with an exasperated sigh.

“Then lets go!!!!” Dean ran over to me and grabbed my hand tugging me out the door.

The car ride was very comfortable and consisted of Dean singing horribly off tune with his rock station and me teasing him. Truth is, he has a good voice when he wants to, but sometimes he really could care less. I smiled as I took in how happy he was.

Once we got to the party, we jumped out of the car and ran in. We had gotten there decently early and had gotten a great parking spot right out front. The music was blaring and despite it being early there were still a lot of people. Dean left me and went around looking for Lisa.

I walked over to the nearest and most abandoned corner and sat down with a cup filled with a mixture of water and color dye in my hands, just in case. I took in shaky breaths as I absorbed the reality of my anxiety attack. I walked into the bathroom and took a moment to myself.

Along the way, I realized I had lost my cup and went to go grab some punch. One turned into two and two turned into three and well you know how it goes. Next thing I knew, I was buzzed and on the breaking point of being drunk. Almost everyone around me was very drunk. I looked around for an empty room to myself once I decided I needed an escape.

I walked upstairs and spotted a dark door down the hallway on the dark side that looked decently abandoned. I barely open the door and peeked in to find Lisa ontop of someone that was most certainly not Dean. Before I could regret anything, I pulled out my phone and started filming. I didn’t film too much, just enough to be able to prove it to Dean. Once I had solid evidence and broke it apart by throwing in a random lost shoe in, I ran downstairs and noticed Sam and Gabe.

Sam wasn’t drunk but Gabe most certainly was. At this point, I was basically sober. Lisa had woken me up enough to set me straight, well decently sober atleast. I looked down and chucked when I saw that Sam was missing one of his shoes and Gabe looked like he had tried to take off some of his clothes but was too lazy to.

Once the party was over, I went back home and couldn’t bring myself to break the news to Dean at the moment. He was simply too happy.

~~~~~~~~~~ Time jump 2 weeks ~~~~~~~~~~

The guilt was killing me, I don’t know what to do... I think I’ll show Dean the video. I’ve gained more and more evidence on Lisa recently. One time was after I finished getting beaten and found her making out with Azazel. Then it was Zacharia, and then Alastair, and soon it was all of my bullies and more. She even joined in once or twice... and I had gotten it all on camera.

“Dean!” I shouted before I could change my mind. He was going to go on a date with Lisa in about half an hour.

“I have something to show you!!!!” I said with more urgency and that got him.

“Coming!” Dean stumbled into the room trying to fix his tie.

“Once I’m done I don’t think you’ll care about that.” I looked at him sadly and pulled out my phone.

“What?” Dean looked at me confused. I threw my phone at him and watched his shocked and pained expression and he looked through it all. His face turned angry once he saw the abuse that she had joined in on. After it had all processed, Dean was crying into my arms apologizing.

“It’s okay. Dean, it’s okay. I’m here. I love you. It’s okay.” I said softly to him as I ran my hands through his hair.

He straightened himself out after a little and looked at me with a determined face.

“I’m going to break up with Lisa.”

~~~~~~~~~~Time jump 1 week~~~~~~~~~~

Dean and I are both working at the diner now. Dean came out as bisexual. I was just as surprised as everyone else. What hurt me most was the fact that he knew for a while now and didn’t bother telling me, his best friend. Not even Sam knew.

“Hey Cas!” Dean said as he eagerly skipped to me.

“Hello Dean.” I looked up at him amused.

“Dinner. 10. Our place. Tonight?” He said nervously.

Was Dean freaking Winchester asking me out? This can’t be, DEAN IS ASKING ME OUT. I stated at him for a good few minutes trying to find the words. I looked at him red in the face.

“YES!” I shouted with glee. I leaped over and pressed my lips up against his.

“I KNEW IT!”

“THATS MY OTP!”

“TEN DOLLARS CARL!”

I laughed as I heard more and more remarks get shouted. Guess it really might be meant to be. Maybe we were the one true pairing.

I know it’s not the best but I just wrote this at 12 am soooo.... I’m going to continue the rest of the story on Wattpad. If this was good enough for you guys great! It’s going to be called : Another Day in Hell (Destiel AU)

[imaginefan]

I’ll Fix It

Geralt Of Rivia X Reader

Word Count: 752

Requested: Anon

Request: Could we have an imagine abt the witcher’s love interest getting tortured in front of him ? I feel like Geralt isn’t a guy to cry at all, so to see someone not that emotional lose his temper but not cry can be interesting

You and Geralt had been travelling together for a long time, you were a skilled fighter and at first, you were just an asset but slowly you became something more to Geralt and it became more about never losing sight of you rather than using you to get his reward. Geralt didn't know how he did it but he seemed to attract those who wanted adventure and while he wanted nothing to do with Jaskier you encouraged the bard to follow, in not for anything other than better conversation however Jaskier managed to get you into some very sticky situation because of the amount of time he liked to spend in married women's bed.

You were sitting in the tavern with Jaskier when the man walked over "You! You're the one." The man said as he pointed at the bard next to you. "Pointing is rude." You muttered as you looked up at the man. "No one was talking to you woman." He dismissed you and you looked at him and smirked as you stood up drawing your sword and placing it at his neck. "And yet I'm the one that holds the knife to your neck." You smirked, he glared at you and you rolled your eyes. "Maybe we should just leave," Jaskier suggested. "Is that what you want?" You asked as you looked at the door to check that Geralt hadn't walked in. "Yes let's just go." He said and you nodded as you stepped back. "Watch your back little girl, we'll come for you." They warned. "I'll be waiting." You winked before you left with Jaskier.

Now they didn't actually come for you until you left the town, they jumped us, but they seemed to have done their research because they weren't surprised that you were travelling with a Witcher and the moment that they grabbed you Geralt stopped moving. "(Y/N) what is going on?" He asked. "They picked a fight in the tavern and they weren't very good at it." You explained and you looked at the man standing in front of you. "This one had my knife at his neck." He crouched in front of you and slapped you across the face, you smirked as you looked at him and smirked. "I should have killed  you." You threatened. "And now I'll kill you." He smirked, "only after I've made your Witcher bodyguard and your cheating boyfriend suffer." "Jaskier is not my boyfriend." You started and he punched you in the face, you spat the blood out before your eyes moved to Geralt who was now restrained and glaring over at Jaskier, he jerked forwards but the men had a good hold on him, you, however, were slowly cutting the ropes that were holding your wrists together. "I didn't say that you can talk." The man smirked and you looked at him and rolled your eyes. "What do you want?" You asked. "Do you know what happened after he took my wife from me?" He asked. "You mean after your wife left you?" You asked and that earned a foot to your stomach. "Wow, that was aggressive." "I lost everything!" He informed you and you rolled your eyes. "Look I'm sorry that my friend can't keep it in his pants but um this has nothing to do with me. He doesn't have a girlfriend and for good reason to." You explained and the man waited and smirked. "He has commitment issues." Your hands were finally free "not that this wasn't fun but I'll be leaving now."  You moved forward headbutting the guy and knocking him out, you threw a knife into the shoulder one of the men that were holding Geralt and you turned to see that the man that was holding Jaskier was actually halfway back to the village already. "Loyal men you got here."  You looked back to see that the man was face first in the dirt. "Should we just leave them here?" "Hmm." Geralt hummed as he walked overturning your face to inspect the damage before attempting to lift your shirt. "I think we should probably get somewhere safe before you try undressing me." You suggested. "Get on the horse." He ordered. "I can walk." You argued. "Horse." He said again as he walked over to one of the bodies and pulled your knife out of the body. "I think he might be upset with us," Jaskier whispered. "Don't worry I'll fix it." You winked before climbing onto Roach as Geralt had asked.

Requests and general question!

[cobythinks]

‘Might As Well’ AU

HEYY so I this is a bullet-fic kinda thing for an AU I’ve created, and unlike my other AUs I’m not going to make a story for it and if I write anything it’ll all be one-shots of certain bits. It's mainly Roloceit with like tiny bits of Moxiety as well.

Feel free to send in asks or request one-shots for this AU! I’m very happy abt it and I loved writing this so any questions for the characters or requests for scenes would be amazing!!!

Most of it under the cut because... I got carried away and it's very long

Roman Guerra is a YouTuber/actor

Horace (Dee) McMullin is a drama teacher

Logan Wright is a science teacher at the same school that Dee works at

Roman and Dee are roommates, and though their relationship has progressed FAR past what anyone would call a friendship, they really don’t care enough to label it or even talk about what they are to each other. They both know they care about the other, and that’s all that really matters.

Roman also tends to rant in Spanish when he gets passionate, and Dee responds by saying the names of ‘Mexican food’ as a reply.

Roman: *talks in spanish*

Dee: *nods* burrito. Quesadilla. Mama Mia.

Roman: that’s not even a food, shut up.

Logan meets Dee through work, obviously, and they quickly become friends

Something about the tall, dramatic, elegant man just drives Logan insane because he’s a little shit once you get to know him and it makes no SENSE

The adorable little science teacher shouldn’t scare Dee as much as he does, but he can’t help it. Something about the way Logan is always composed makes Dee feel like he’s a serial killer or something.

Despite this, they become friends when they discover they both have a passion for psychology and have long discussions about it during lunch and when they hang out on weekends

Dee - as much as he hates it - starts to fall hopelessly in love with the other teacher. He can’t help it, just like he couldn't help but to fall in love with Roman a year and a half earlier when they met. 

Not that he’d told Roman that yet, god no. They’d both dated other people on and off while knowing each other, even if they did end up fucking after every breakup and swearing to each other they were done with the whole relationship thing. 

Roman always found someone else to sweep off their feet, and Dee always found himself hopelessly pining for someone else to make the first move

So, that’s what was happening here, and it was torture.

Logan wasn’t much better, furious that this dramatic drama teacher of all people made him feel so flustered and confused.

Then the day came that Dee brought Logan over for dinner, and he met Roman

Roman greeted him dramatically, filling the entire apartment with his electric energy as he spoke.

Oh god, there’s two of them. Logan realized in terror as the two bickered playfully back and forth, eventually challenging each other to a duel despite the fact they had a guest over.

And like most of their duels, Roman ended up kissing Dee

“Oh,” Logan said, feeling like a complete idiot

“Fuck,” Dee said, realizing that Logan now had the wrong idea

“Maybe later,” Roman said with a wink because he’s a little shit.

Dee just freaking makes a mess of everything and accidentally confesses his feelings for both of them at once and then faceplants on the couch

Roman offers Logan some lasagna because it’s getting cold

Dee feels betrayed 

but joins them for lasagna in a few minutes

Logan is utterly confused and doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything

Dee is mortified and wants to jump off the balcony

He and Roman proceed to do the titanic thing and Logan is still very confused but he agrees to take their picture

He’s Like: Sure??? I guess so??? Are we not going to address what just happened??? DOn’T FaLL yOU IDiOTs

Roman thinks it is all hilarious but he must agree that Logan is stunning

He helps to re-explain his and Dee’s relationship because Dee honestly did an awful job

And Logan is like okay

Because it makes sense now even though Roman used many slang words he did NOT understand

Oh my god these two are literally the most chaotic duo he’s ever met and usually Logan HATES chaos but he LOVES this

And so Roman - of course, it’s Roman - is the one to suggest they just go with the flow like he and Dee have been doing for the past year already, if Logan wants to

Logan has no idea what to expect but agrees that he wouldn’t mind

Horace.exe has crashed again

So they start doing whatever the hell it is that they’re doing

And if Roman is a chaos slut with Dee he is a chaos gentleman with Logan and it is BAFFLING he’s still dramatic but he’s overly chivalrous and polite and Dee is annoyed why can’t Roman hold the door open for him instead of holding it closed like a jerk after opening it for Logan

Dee and Logan just keep up their psychology discussions almost constantly and regularly have to ask Roman to finish a debate even though Roman knows NOTHING about psychology

Roman always finds an excuse not to support Dee (in a loving way)

“Roman! Tell Logan that Max Stirner-”

“I’M BUSY MAKING ALFREDO SORRY”

This doesn’t stop Dee from continuing to ask him to back him up

Roman always supports Logan in the debates despite being completely oblivious

“Roman, don’t you agree that-”

“Yes, my love. My darling. Genius whom I would die for. I agree.”

This always causes Logan distress in two ways

One: Roman didn’t listen to what he was agreeing with

Two: he is now super flustered because Roman is continuing to ramble on about how much he loves Logan

Logan turns out to know some Spanish

So now he and Roman have conversations in Spanish and Roman teaches him more and Dee just doesn’t really care

He keeps contributing using food or random words he’s picked up on and it drives Logan and Roman INSANE

And so they start dropping his proper name in conversation to either

One: make Dee think they’re mad because they used ‘Horace’

Two: make Dee think they’re gossiping about him

When really they’re talking about how much they love him OR just saying ‘Horace’ in the middle of a completely unrelated sentence

They stop doing this after they accidentally make Dee legitimately sad

It surprises both of them when they realize he’s crying after they don’t tell him what they were saying

So no more pretending to gossip about each other in Spanish

Roman offers to teach him Spanish

Dee responds to the offer by screaming ‘TORTILLA’ at the top of his lungs

Dee does not learn Spanish

Roman calls them his boyfriends first

In a youtube video title

Without warning them that they were being featured

Because he’s a little shit

Dee freaks out and tries to ask him about it but they just end up making out like they usually do when they try to have a serious conversation

Logan is okay with it and very amused at Dee’s reaction

Dee calls them his boyfriends next when he gets sick

When Dee gets sick he gets freaking delirious

Logan didn’t believe that it was the same person the first time he saw Dee when he was sick

Dee also only responds to Horace, his given name, when he’s sick and it's so hard to talk to him because they never seriously call him that

but Dee is so fucking sappy when he’s like that

And it's just pure and cute and he calls them his boyfriends

Logan calls them his boyfriends last

When introducing him to some other friends when they moved back into town

Patton Foster, a veterinarian

Virgil Storm, a weatherman (shut up he knows it's stupid his boyfriend (Patton) makes enough jokes about it as it is)

Both are baffled at how Logan managed to be dating two completely batshit crazy drama geeks

Once this happens they finally sit down and decide that yeah, they are dating

None of them say it’s exclusive, but none of them really want to date anyone else anymore anyway

Having Logan there to balance out the chaos is exactly what they needed

“I NEED A SNAKE FOR A VIDEO”

“Doesn’t Dee have a pet snake?”

“DEE YOU HAVE A PET SNAKE??”

“You’ve lived together for two years, how do you not know he has a snake in a terrarium in his room?”

“Logan I trusted you.”

“CAN I USE YOUR SNAKE”

“Only if I get to be in the video too, she gets nervous around cameras and she needs me.”

“Snakes don’t know what cameras-”

“DEAL!”

So it's just chaos and thriving in their little apartment

Roman has them in his videos sometimes, which is hugely popular among his viewers

“Hey, youtube! Today we’re throwing wet sponges at my tall boyfriend!”

“Roma- ROMAN GET AWAY FROM ME YOU SAID YOU WOULD WARN ME NEXT TIME”

“If you get water on the floor I’m not cleaning it up also watch out for the outlets you don’t want to get electrocuted.”

“That was my nerd boyfriend. I’d never throw a wet sponge at him, he doesn’t deserve it. Only my tall one deserves it.”

“I HATE YOU BOTH”

Logan and Dee both try to embarrass the other more whilst at work, which only caused a problem one or two times

“I need your help”

“With what”

“...a surprise”

“I told you I won’t help you teach them how to stage kiss anymore you always just kiss me for real and that’s not how it works.”

“But I love you.”

“fine.”

Roman and Dee regularly compete to see who can make Logan more embarrassed from compliments and it usually ends up in a cuddle pile or [REDACTED]

Dee is still positive that Logan is either a serial killer or a robot and that is one reason he enjoys making Logan embarrassed because it's hilarious to see the usually stoic teacher not know what to say

Roman, when he hears this theory, claims that Dee is the actual serial killer and he knows because he’s a ghost that’s just been haunting Dee since he killed him

Logan pretends to believe Roman’s claim and Dee wants to destroy them both.

He does… in a way *cough*

People who met Roman and Dee before Logan got there are baffled when they see either of them or both interacting with Logan

Because Roman and Dee are just CHAOS and DRAMATIC declarations of love (Roman) SCREAMING and sexual jokes (Dee)

Roman and Logan, though, that’s Roman at his most chivalrous. He opens doors, speaks eloquently, bows dramatically and is basically an over the top perfect gentleman

Deceit and Logan, well, no one understands that either because Deceit makes ZERO sexual jokes and he’s quiet and gentle and finally FINALLY he matches the elegant aesthetic he has going on 

And as soon as all three of them are seen together? The dynamic makes sense again

Roman and Dee are gremlins. Logan is the god they worship.

 Logan treats them both equally, as much as he can that is, and Roman and Dee would probably fight to the death for his hand and then end up making out like they always do when they fight to ‘the death’

Even Logan’s friends have only ever seen him express real emotion when he is with one or both of his boyfriends

The rest of the time he is in his robot/serial killer mode

Both Roman and Dee take great pride in this

Logan calls Dee Horace when he wants to make a point and it's usually why he ends up winning debates when Roman isn’t around because it makes Dee frustrated and annoyed so he stops talking

Apologies are made with kisses though

After the three get together, Roman learns a lot more about Dee as a person because believe it or not Dee is good at pretending and keeping secrets

Also they always just used to… sleep… in Roman’s room and not Dee’s but Roman didn’t even notice that and that’s how Dee got away with having a snake in secret for two years until Logan stayed the night in his room.

Roman falls more in love with Dee as a result and visa versa

Logan is awfully amused at this and they know it

Basically, the entire relationship is a HOT MESS

And that’s all I’ve got

[ollie-oxen-free]

this started out as a shitpost how did it end up like this

(it was only a shitpost, it was only a shitpost)

but seriously. @itsladykit and i were joking in chat abt how twist and my slim would certainly both wear those inflatable t-rex costumes, and i tried to write it, but i started and it ended up as an actual fucking fic what the fuck. so anyways i now share kit’s curse of not being funny (ha ha BURN). enjoy anyways, bitchados

Slim lay on his bed, arms spread to the side and gaze fixed on the ceiling. He’d run out of drugs a while ago (he wasn’t entirely sure how long ago it was, but it was fine since time was a man-made construct to begin with and everyone in the universe was existing at the exact same time as everyone else no matter what the clock said) but the high was still buzzing in his skull, making his limbs feel heavy. The tips of his phalanges were cold, but the rest of his body felt like it was burning. He almost wished it was.

With a groan, he pushed himself up, swinging his legs the six inches to the floor from the amazing height of his bare mattress, standing and making his way out of his room. Laying there would only result in even more edgy thoughts, all poetic and emo, and that was the last thing he really needed. The first thing he needed were some more drugs.

He shuffled over to the painting that was hanging on the wall, lifting it to check his secret stash. Instead of drugs he found a crumpled post-it note from his past self: a reminder to buy more drugs. He flipped off the slip of paper, as if the action would make more magically appear, before he walked away with a groan, flopping down onto his couch. The furniture was just as shitty as the rest of his apartment. Of course it was; he’d found it for free on the sidewalk when he was stumbling home drunk off his ass. He still had no idea how the hell he got it in the house.

But it functioned and only occasionally stabbed him with a spring, so he kept it. It wasn’t the first thing that had shanked him and it most certainly wouldn’t be the last. He sighed as he lifted his hands, balling them into fists in front of his face before releasing them, looking between his gloved right and ungloved left. Wow, he thought, I really need to get another fucking glove. But he wouldn’t. He never followed through on jack shit.

He pulled back the edge of his glove, looking at the charred bone (more of a brand than an injury, he’d seen the same mark on so many others, because even now he was stuck in all the same bullshit, blistered bone all blackened and charred and broken) before he dug his thumb into the edge of the scar, pressing harder and harder as it started to hurt and-

“SLIM!”

He swore, launching himself off the couch before tripping over his own fucking feet and landing on his face. He laid there for a moment, hoping that he would magically burst into flames, but hope had never been his strong suit and so he pushed himself up, squinting around the room. He waited a minute before the voice came again, familiar and muffled behind the door. “I know yer home! Yer jeep is still in tha bushes, so yer here!”

Slim yawned, turning his face into the carpet. “Yeah, yeah, m’here.”

“Then lemme in!” The door handle jiggled, drawing attention to itself. Slim glared at it, trying to remember how to open a door in his inebriated state, before realizing that he would have to get up to unlock it. He sighed, shoving his face back into the rough fibers of the floor.

“Just kick down the fucking door. I don’t think I can move.”

There was a pause before a crash came, Twist doing just that, entering and looking proud of himself. He stopped after a few steps, his smile falling as he looked around. “Damn, bitch. Ya really live like this?”

“So, first of all,” Slim groaned as he pushed himself up, gathering his feet under himself and trying to balance, “if you wanna be accurate with that meme then you need a snapback and I need a rose.”

Twist snickered, but the expression quickly fell as he looked Slim over. His gaze lingered on his gloved hand, and Slim looked down to see that his glove was still pulled halfway off, showing the scarred bone and the fresh mark he had carved into himself. He discreetly pulled the edge of the glove up, glad that he was so sneaky and good at hiding secrets.

“Ya alright, bud? Ya’ve been missin’ fer a few days.”

“Missing what?” He asked as he hobbled into the kitchen- god, he had absolutely no fucking memory of twisting his ankle, what the hell- skillfully avoiding the question.

Unsurprisingly, Twist followed him, watching as he sorted through the barren cabinets in hopes of finding something to eat. “Well, fer one, the other day Stretch ate so much ice cream tha’ he got sick ‘n puked in th’ shop.”

“Did you get it on video?”

“‘Fraid not.”

Slim swore, pouting as he went back to scrounging up some kind of meal. He pulled out a packet of saltine crackers, shrugging as he tore them open to feast like a king.

“Yer injured” Twist said, voice soft and quiet.

Slim internally cursed himself as he glanced down at the bandages that were wrapped around the left side of his ribcage, clearly in view from his tank top. “Got into a scuffle. Apparently telling a group of humans you’re buying drugs from you’re not a cop makes some people ansty.”

He could tell that Twist didn’t buy it, head cocked to the side and gaze still focused on the bandages. Twist sighed, slinging his hands in his hoodie. “I ain’t gonna tell ya what ta do, sweetheart, but you ‘n I…” he trailed off with another sigh. Always breathing, that guy. “Neither one of us can really afford ta risk a deadly scuffle.”

Twist gave him a pointed look, letting him know that it wasn’t themselves they needed to be worried about. Slim shrugged anyways, taking a bite of the stale cracker. It was dry and flavorless in his mouth. “I don’t got much to lose here, Twisted.” He swept the arm not occupied with food around the kitchen, the tiles cracked and the ceiling water-stained. He could fix it up, of course. Could afford better, could take better care of it. He popped the rest of the cracker in his mouth.

Twist frowned. “Don’ say that.”

Slim grinned, shooting Twist a wink and a finger gun, reaching for another cracker. Twist reached out, slowly enough that he could stop him, and grabbed his arm, tugging him away from the counter. He resisted, digging his heels into the floor, only for Twist to step forward and sweep him up, throwing him over his shoulder. Slim blinked, his drug-addled mind struggling to come to terms with the fact that, hey, he was no longer on the ground.

His leg swung out, trying to kick the other, but the action jarred his injury, making him hiss and give up in resignation. “Twist. My crackers.”

Twist didn’t seem concerned, humming happily as he grabbed his coat from where it was piled and swiped up his shoes, not bothering to shut the door behind him. It was broken anyways. Slim thought about telling him to go back and shut it, but the only thing of value he really had in the house was a gift card to Walmart that had $20 on it, and even then he had no idea where it was.

“Twist. My crackers.”

“M’sure my bro‘ll make something fer ya!”

Slim groaned, going limp on his shoulder as Twist grabbed the scooter he’d set against the fence, somehow managing to maintain the skill needed to hold him and balance on the toy. He would’ve been impressed if both his feet were on the ground. “The last time I ate something BB made me, it was poisoned. I was paralyzed for days.”

“‘N ya didn’ leave tha house,” Twist said. “‘N ya didn’ get yerself hurt.”

“You seem pretty happy for a kidnapper.”

Twist snickered, slowing a bit to turn the corner before pushing them faster and coasting down the hill. “Nah. S’only kidnappin’ if yer a minor, Sweetheart.”

“...Sounds about right.” It really didn’t, but Twist laughed anyways, adjusting him gently enough that it didn’t agitate his injuries too greatly, making a wide turn around the corner, heading back to his own house. Slim closed his eyes with a sigh. It really wasn’t worth the fight.

The crackers were stale anyways.

[morningsound15]

Can u do all the odd fic questions on that ask post for perdition? Or really any of ur other fics, I just like hearing abt this kind of stuff

FYI THIS IS VERY LONG I APOLOGIZE

I’m putting most of it under the cut because I don’t want to clog up all the dashes…

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

What a question. I’ve answered something similar to this, mainly the question: What was your inspiration in writing this fic? And I’ve been pretty open about that, generally. (If you’re interested, there are a few longer posts about that and some other insights into my thought process linked here: x x x x x x )

But essentially, I wrote this fic because at the time I was going through a sort of similar situation to Chloe. I was kind of seeing this girl who had a boyfriend… it’s a pretty long and complicated story that I won’t go into for privacy’s sake (both hers and mine). But it wasn’t my finest hour, and definitely not something I’m proud of. So anyway, things had just ended with this girl and I was trying to work through some feelings that I had about it (a lot of anger and confusion and a little heartbreak, mostly), and I was looking for a character/pairing to write this specific situation for, and Bechloe kind of just… came to me. Like it just fell into my lap. And it made more sense than anything else, and when I started writing it just… poured out of me. Like I wrote the first four chapters in a feverish two days where I basically couldn’t stop typing.

But I’ve gotten a lot of questions about why I chose to write the fic the way I did. The question I get most often is basically, why did I write the fic from Chloe’s POV exclusively? Especially during the early days of Perdition, before I wrote the Beca interlude chapter, I had a LOT of people who were practically begging me for Beca’s POV, for her side of the story, for some explanation as to WHY she was doing what she was doing. And I was really hesitant to do that, because I was hesitant to break from the fixed person, singular POV. And I want to explain why. I know I have before, but I want to do it again.

I wanted to write Perdition from exclusively Chloe’s POV because I wanted the story to really focus on her emotions and her involvement in the affair. I feel like so many cheating stories are from the POV of the cheater, or the person being cheated on, and rarely on the ramifications felt by the person who’s being cheated with. I wanted to explore that dynamic.

But I also really wanted to focus on Chloe as a person and as a character. I felt drawn to her as a character partly because we know so little about her in the movies. Beca is the main character, the audience’s established perspective, so we know a lot about her and how she thinks and operates. Because Chloe was basically a blank slate, I felt like I could dig deeper into her character and imagine a lot more backstory for her. I wanted to explore her as a character, and as a writer I felt like she really offered more opportunities than Beca.

I eventually wrote the Beca POV chapter because I really wanted to make sure that both Beca and Chloe were sympathetic characters. I wanted to emphasize the fact that Chloe was providing just one perspective of the affair, and because of that, she was somewhat of an unreliable narrator. I wanted to emphasize that there were two sides to every story, and just because we’ve only seen Chloe’s side of things doesn’t mean that she’s blameless or that she’s completely right and has done nothing wrong. Though I wanted to focus on her/explore her journey, I didn’t want readers to think of her as a faultless victim. (I was also getting a lot of comments criticizing Beca’s character for being heartless/cruel, and I didn’t think that that was the case. I thought their situation was messy and confusing and hard on both of them, and I didn’t want people to think I was using her as a scapegoat to just like… assassinate her character.)

In my mind, no character is perfect. There’s no such thing as a black-and-white situation. No one is inherently good or bad. They’re just people, who make good and bad choices, who make mistakes, who let things get out of hand. I really wanted to be clear on that. So I ended up breaking with my plan and writing the interlude chapter. I think, in the end, I’m glad that I did.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

Good Lord. This fic is so long… There are so many lines I like. How do I even pick?

I have a couple favorite lines of narration. These are just some of them (unsurprisingly, a lot of them are chapter summaries):

From Chapter 1:

(Earlier in the night Chloe stumbled over to Beca on swaying feet, grabbed her hands, and proclaimed that they were going to be “fast friends,” and Beca laughed and winked at her and made some joke about being naked and Chloe felt her stomach bottom out so suddenly that she wondered if she was tipping over backwards.)

From Chapter 4:

Fat Amy showing her vag to the leader of the Free World is not exactly how Chloe envisioned starting her year.

From Chapter 6:

But when she’s on that stage, performing for all those people… when she starts to sing that song, especially in the wake of their fight… something grips her. She feels this pull, this swell of romantic energy like she’s in the midst of a goddamn fairytale, and then she just…

Well, does she have any choice in the matter, really?

(He’s the acapella boy and she’s the acapella girl. This is their story.)

From Chapter 6:

She tries to say everything in that kiss that she’s never had the courage to say. I’ve missed you and I love you and I’m willing to try and I’m sorry and I don’t deserve you and Please just wait for me a little longer.

From Chapter 7:

The summer heat is oppressive in North Carolina. Thick air that feels like soup; slogging days of unendurable murky, foggy, wet waves. When it isn’t raining, the sun beats down against the tops of heads and the backs of necks, cooking cars and superheating pavement, scorching the flesh of bare feet that slap against the ground. The smell of freshly mown grass, new mulch, and — further towards to coast — salt spray permeates everything. Sun screen and bug spray make skin sticky; mosquitos flock from person to person in droves, only driven away by rare and brief breezes off the water. The air feels stagnant and heavy, the days endlessly long.

From Chapter 10:

Beca’s music has always so upbeat, so lively, so full of joy and energy and reckless abandon, all about pounding bass notes and soaring vocals, all about mixing together as many songs as possible until the artistry verges just on the hint of chaos.

From Chapter 11:

She bared herself to the entire world. She exposed every bit of her dirty laundry to millions and millions of people for them to look at, pick through, and analyze. She did the one thing she hates most in the world to prove to Chloe that she can, that she wants to, that she can be a new person, that she’s changed, that secrets and lies are all things in her past, and her future is an open book.

Of course. It’s for her. It’s always been for her.

From Chapter 12:

They’ve been together for a year, Chloe’s been living in LA for eight months, and for the past two months or so she’s taken up a near-permanent residence in Beca’s home. She already owns half of the shoe space, half of the space in the bathroom cabinet, and half of the drawers in Beca’s dresser. Her keys have a permanent spot by the door, her soy milk a permanent spot in Beca’s fridge. Her work schedule is stuck on the wall next to Beca’s calendar. Beca’s Netflix queue is full of Chloe’s favorite shows, Chloe’s favorite movies. All but Chloe’s least-favorite outfits have migrated to Beca’s closet, and all of the books she’s currently reading have found a place on Beca’s bedside table.

5: What part was hardest to write?

The hardest part to write were the years where Beca and Chloe didn’t talk. There were whole chapters that just dealt with Chloe and her depression, or Chloe and her inner monologue, or Chloe and her new life in Denver, or Chloe and her love life sans Beca. And those chapters were hard to write. I was really worried they would be boring, or that they would turn off readers, or that people wouldn’t respond well to Chloe dating other people, or that people wouldn’t like the inclusion of original characters, or that people would get annoyed with how they dragged on, or that people would object to the distinct lack of Beca for so much of the story.

But I really felt those chapters were necessary, because I really felt that Chloe had to learn for herself and grow and get better on her own before she and Beca could reconcile. I believed that, in order for Beca and Chloe to truly be together in a healthy way, they had to become healthy on their own. They couldn’t just be together because they fell together, but because they chose to be together. I wanted them to fight for each other, to realize that they weren’t using each other as an emotional crutch or a way to avoid dealing with the problems in their lives, but to realize that they actually helped each other, that each made the other stronger. So despite the fact that those chapters were really hard to write, I’m really glad that I did write them.

7: Where did the title come from?

This may be embarrassing to admit, but I actually have an entire document just of fic titles/small little ideas/summaries/exchanges of dialogue. So the title Perdition had been sitting around in my mind for a while, way before I even got the idea for the story. I was just waiting for the perfect fic to use it on. (I’m kinda obsessed with pretentious titles, if you guys haven’t noticed.)

As I explained in the summary for the story, “perdition” is a word that comes from Christian theology, and it means: “a state of eternal punishment and damnation into which a sinful and unpenitent person passes after death.” And I liked that; this idea that both Beca and Chloe understood that what they were doing was entirely wrong and unjust and, if you subscribe to that sort of belief system, “sinful”, but that neither of them really cared. They continued on with their affair with (seemingly) unrepentant, reckless abandon. I thought it summed up the themes of the story nicely. The beginning of the story, at least. The set up for the dramatic arc.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

While I knew how the fic was going to end when I started writing it (generally, at least, I knew that Beca and Chloe were going to end up together, and the Grammys acceptance speech was actually like the 5th scene I wrote), it still went through a lot of different drafts. In an early version of the story, Jesse was the one to walk in on Beca and Chloe mid-sexual encounter, but I ended up really hating what the scene said and how it treated Jesse as a character (and the fact that it took away Beca’s agency by denying her the chance to confess), so I got rid of that quickly.

Originally, Emily played a much smaller role in the story. But I liked her as a naïve sort of foil to Beca + Chloe; I liked her optimism and her almost-hero-worship of the two of them; and I liked being able to build a mentor-mentee relationship between Beca and Emily. So she ended up playing a bigger role in the story than originally intended.

In the original draft of the story, there were much fewer chapters. I think originally I only planned on having 6 (4 years of Beca + Chloe’s affair, 1 year apart, and then the chapter where they get back together), but I’ve never been very good at keeping my writing succinct. It just kept growing and growing and by the end I doubled the chapter count. But it felt right to me. All of the additions felt necessary. In the end, I don’t mind the length, because I told the story I wanted to tell.

Raquel was also a pretty late addition to the fic. I toyed a lot with the idea of having Chloe only go on a few unfulfilling dates with men during her time apart from Beca, because a part of me liked the idea of having Beca be her only female long-term romantic partner. But then it felt like I was trying to erase the bisexuality I had established for Chloe early on, so I wrote her a girlfriend. And then I ended up REALLY liking Raquel, so I gave her more and more to do, and I made their relationship stronger and stronger.

Originally, I wanted Chloe to be dating someone when she started having romantic feelings for Beca again, and then realize that she’d only ever really loved Beca etc. etc. etc., but in the end I didn’t like what that did to the story. It felt too much like the beginning, like Chloe hadn’t grown enough as a character. And besides, that’s just not realistic. Very few people have like… ONE true love. And in the end, I wanted Beca and Chloe to choose to be together, like I said. I wanted to have the possibility for other partners, the possibility for happiness elsewhere, and then have them decide to be together anyway. Because they wanted to, because that’s what felt right. So I felt like it was really important to build up their friendship again from the ground up. They couldn’t just leap into romance again after so long and after everything they went through. They needed a strong foundation first. And to have Beca see Chloe happy in a relationship, happy without her… I thought it was important for them to both know that it was possible.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

There are a LOT of things I like about this fic. I like its perspective, I like what it says. I like that it’s almost entirely from Chloe’s POV. I like that it’s a character study more than anything (which is something I’d never previously done). I like that it’s really long (and that I ACTUALLY FINISHED IT which didn’t seem likely for a while). I like that it takes its time, that it really builds to a natural conclusion, that it doesn’t feel rushed or hurried, that there’s a payoff that feels earned. I like all of that stuff.

But what I like most is the impact it’s had. I have gotten such extraordinary feedback from this story, things you guys wouldn’t believe. Not just comments and asks, but individual messages from people who have reached out to me and told me what reading Perdition meant to them. And that’s… I never expected that. It was just supposed to be a sexy little romp, something for me to work out my own feelings and practice writing some smut, and then it turned into this… behemoth of a story that SO many people read and responded to. And I never really anticipated that. But I’m SO glad that I wrote it. And I’m so glad so many of you liked it.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

People have asked me this question a lot! And I definitely did have a Perdition playlist or two going while I was writing it. It’s funny to look back on that music now, because it’s from like over a year ago and I don’t listen to those playlists often anymore, but I’ll link them below if people are interested:

https://morningsound15.tumblr.com/tagged/perdition-playlist

(tagged/perdition-playlist)

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

What a question. And a hard one to answer. I think anytime with writing, you end up learning a lot. About yourself, about your characters, about your own personal style. I do believe that writing this story really made my overall writing stronger. The fact that I was able to finish it and give people the ending they wanted was also huge for me, since most of my other really long stories are still unfinished.

I’m not 100% sure what I learned from writing this. I think I’m still learning. Every time I go back and reread it (and I did go back and reread most of it to answer these questions) I feel like I draw something new from the story. And every time I answer questions about it I feel like I understand my writing in ways I never have before.

[ladyoftheshrimp]

okay first, your header is cute. second, percy and phina holding an important meeting after office hours & everyone is thinking that they’re dedicating precious hours to safeguard their small magical community. but the truth is, it’s just percy venting to phina abt his crush on one wildly adorable magizoologist & phina just listens, pours two glasses of wine & comes up with suggestions on how to woo newt.

The threat levels had dropped considerably since Grindelwald had been deported. However nobody dared question the dedication and commitment the President her right hand man, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement exhibited. Like clockwork each Friday afternoon half an hour before the weekend commenced for most Percival could be seen traipsing through the halls of MACUSA on his way to the President’s office. He’d have a bulging thick file on one arm, eyebrows low in a frown that had everyone skittering out of his way. The meeting never lasted half an hour. Gossip had it that on some nights they’d leave on exhausted, unsteady feet late into the night as they shushed each other with frowns so they wouldn’t disturb the peace.

What nobody knew was that once the door shut behind Percival he’d let out a dramatic sigh. A bottle of wine would slip from the file on his arm while Seraphina pulled open a drawer where she’d stashed snacks. Technically they conducted a review of the week but not like most would expect.

“I thought I was going to die on Tuesday.” Percival whined. “He spent 5 whole minutes bent over Fontaine’s desk helping her go over a report. You know Fontaine’s desk away from mine.”

Seraphina eyed her friend with some amusement. Rather that say anything she picked up a pastry and took a very unladylike bite out of it. Percival took that as encouragement to continue.

“If I thought that was bad enough I almost had a heart attack when he straightened up, turned and smiled at me. I swear if I didn’t know better I’d say he had the audacity to wink!”

“Maybe you should just ask him out?” Seraphina dabbed at her lips with a napkin. “This has been going on for how many weeks now? You need to do something about your infatuation.”

“It’s not an infatuation woman!” Percival grumbled as he sat in his chair and picked up a cheese twist. He eyed it with suspicion before biting into it. “It’s not an infatuation. It’s a manly appreciation with an endearing hint of shyness.” Crumbs sprayed everywhere as he spoke with his mouth full. Seraphina raised an eyebrow at him in question.

“Talk me through the week then. I have a feeling even Monday had something mention worthy.”

“Of course it did!” Percival shot back as he leaned forward in his chair, food all but forgotten between his fingers as he began to recount the week, arms going wide with gestures.

It had started off on Monday with Newt drinking hot chocolate. For some reason Queenie had given him a mug with cream on top and naturally Newt looked utterly adorable with a cream moustache and a little dot of it on the tip of his nose to boot. Percival may have wanted to either lick it off or swipe a thumb over his lips to gather up the cream and let Newt suck from him.

“So why didn’t you?” Seraphina asked.

“Because that is crass, absolutely not subtle in any way and far too forward!”

“Ah. I see. And how is subtle working out for you?” her question earned her a scoff.

“I let him get away with a truly sloppy report. I think he might get the hint soon.” Percival sounded so sure and Seraphina couldn’t help but laugh. She let Percival continue, admiring the fact he times exactly how long Newt spent bent over which desk, how pert his ass looked and how his hair fell so endearingly in his face whenever he looked up at Percival. Which was really rather often. It was a wonder that Percival managed to get any work done at all while the other man was around.

Wednesday sounded really rather uneventful with Newt “only” trying to teach the erumpent mating dance in a training session. It almost made sense that he’d paired everyone up to practice seducing their partner but Seraphina questioned why Queenie had to be part of the training when that meant Newt had to partner up with Percival rather than make his rounds helping the trainees.

“What if you had given him an erumpent?” She finally asked.

“And where would I get one from? Aside from it being highly illegal.” Percival retorted with a sniff and took another swig from his glass. Without a word Seraphina filled it up again. It looked like it was going to be another late night of drunkenly shushing each other on the way out again.

“Fine, not an erumpent. But I’m fairly certain we have some eggs in stasis down in the evidence locker that you could court him with.”

“I’m going to pretend you did not just suggest I raid the evidence locker in order to impress and woo someone. I’m the Director of Magical Security! I cannot be seen breaking the law!”

“I could always make it an order for you.” Seraphina suggested boldly. “You can’t not obey your President.”

“Let me tell you about today before you make such a wild suggestion again.”

It was a day from hell for Percival. Everything had gone great. Reports turned in on time, or even early, they were precise,concise and exactly how Percival liked them. His meetings had been brief, no dawdling or needless squabbling. Even the criminals had been fairly quiet which made a nice change. Which didn’t explain why Newt was charging around the department in a tizzy, searching for his wretched niffler. Even for confusing was the fact that the niffler seemed to be perched on Fontaine’s desk, happily playing away with the golden buttons. Either Newt was testing a new niffler catching technique or he was out of his mind because when he spotted the creature he started unbuttoning his shirt (in full view of Percival’s office) and getting everyone to crouch down so as not to disturb the beast. Percival himself was pretty disturbed by what he saw but obviously Newt was more concerned about a different kind of beast. Shirt off Newt crept towards the desk and in an explosive leap he used his shirt like a net to capture the unresistant niffler. Creature firmly wrapped in shirt, Newt turned to the aurors with a grin, gave the beast in his arms a scritch and another shiny thing and announced that’s how nifflers ought to be caught from now on.

“And the worst of it?” Percival’s tirade came to a climax. “If that’s how he catches nifflers from now, I want to be a damn niffler.”

Seraphina couldn’t hold it together anymore. She collapsed onto her desk in a fit of snorting giggles. The wine bottle had run empty a long while back. The pastries and food was mostly untouched but another bottle had been emptied during their meeting and a third one was half way there too.

“I can’t believe we take the last half an hour of the week off to get drunk and try to figure out ways to woo Newt who seems to be wooing you.” she snickered.

“I’m the one wooing him thank you very much.” Percival glowered at her and sloshed some more wine into his glass.

“Then lets look in the evidence locker to see what you can steal his heart with.”

It seemed like a great idea by then. The President and her right hand man stumbled down the stairs with terribly serious faces fulled into stern glares as the tried to tell the other to keep it down. It was late, there weren’t many people around and they in no way were drunkenly heading down to steal anything for Newt.

The evidence locker was more of a giant room with a filing system that few people actually understood. They meandered through the maze of shelves until they arrived at the stasis shelf. There were eggs, shrunken creatures in cages and many other things that probably would have horrified Newt. Seraphina looked at Percival.

“You really want to woo him?”

“Yes! Have I not made that glaringly obvious?”

“Then take them all. Clear the shelf. Here. I’ve got the clearance for this. I’ve got the clearance for everything.” Seraphina giggled as she conjured up a basket and began to put everything in it.

“And what have we here?” a voice from behind them asked, worry mixed with amusement. Percival and Seraphina shushed them at the same time.

“We’re wooing Newt.” They laughed a little as they continued to empty the shelves.

“By robbing the evidence locker?” Another voice asked.

“That sounded like Newt.” Percival whispered loudly to Seraphina who turned.

“It looks like Newt too.” She muttered back.

“And it is Newt.” Newt finished for them. “Percival, you told me I could come down here with my case and free these creatures.”

“Did you?” Seraphina swayed as she looked at her friend. Percival frowned and scratched the back of his head.

“Oh yeah.” Everyone stared at him as he smiled sheepishly. “I can fix this.” He announced cheerfully and grabbed the nearest egg. Newt winced at the handling of it but didn’t say anything as Percival walked up to him.

“Newt,” Percival asked and held out the egg, “will you marry me?” He turned to look at Seraphina. “I think I got it right. I’ve got it in the bag!”

The surprised “whoa” from Newt as he lunged to catch the egg Percival had forgotten he was holding drew Percival’s attention back. Newt cradled the egg close to his chest and looked exasperatedly fond.

“Take me out for a drink first. Then we’ll talk about marriage. 4pm sharp tomorrow afternoon. I might even consider letting you take me to dinner after that drink.” Newt’s smile softened. “But perhaps you ought to get home and sleep a bit before you think about why you and the President wanted to rob the evidence locker.”

“Tomorrow. 4pm.” Percival looked giddy and Seraphina was relieved. She refrained from doing a fist pump but only because the basket was heavy on her arm. As she waltzed past Newt she passed him the basket.

“About bleeding time Scamander.”

[ninjagiry]

So it’s been a while since I had a major emotional break. Guess it was just about that time.

All day I’ve just been...empty. Since I got back from the coast honestly. Like it was good for me, I really needed to get out of town for a few days, and I think the environment did me a lot of good. But now I’m back inland and back at work and all I could think all day today was “What the fuck am I even doing here”. 

I’m perhaps one of the youngest people in my office, and definitely the youngest person working the reception desk. And every time someone asks me what I went to school for or what sort of things I do outside of work, they basically say the same thing. I’m working in a medical office, albeit with a clerical job, but have no medical schooling. Coworkers talk about things and I just kinda sit there. Patients ask me questions about procedures while I’m checking them in and I have to just constantly say “I don’t know” because tbh I don’t even know what sort of things we do here, let alone what all it entails. I feel like a fucking idiot.

And idk something about going out to the coast and talking with that parks service employee abt pirates and seeing how much she obviously enjoys her job, where she gets to talk about things she genuinely likes and do stuff she genuinely cares about....

I get winked at and called “sweetheart” by creepy old men all day and don’t even get enough free time to go pee.

What the fuck am I actually doing here. 

[mrs-iruka]

Think Before you Speak!

I was sent a prompt by the lovely @mairenyaf as follows:

‘I have a prompt (even tho you're not asking for any I just really want you to write this cause I love your writing) established relationship au where they do a joint live show because Phil has laryngitis so he texts Dan all he wants to say so Dan reads it to the audience and Phil sends Dan some sappy message and Dan reads it without noticing so that's how they come out, very fluffy and a kiss at end of the live show so i can live my dreams through fiction (you can add all you'd like Ily).’

I truly hope you like this, my lovely. I did my best with the prompt. Enjoy!

***

Phil had woken up that morning with laryngitis. His throat had been feeling a little scratchy since his return from America just over a week ago, but he thought nothing was actually going to come of it this time, as usually the virus would break a few days after getting home. He’d been trying to shout up their connecting staircase to Dan that he’d made coffee, and when no sound had come out, Phil had slumped at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. So when he awoke to find his voice was totally gone, he was less than happy - especially as it was the first Thursday since getting back to the UK and he’d been looking forward to doing a liveshow, the first in a few weeks. When Dan had woken he found his boyfriend curled up beside him in bed looking thoroughly fed-up and miserable.

“Morning, love,” said Dan sleepily.

But got no reply from Phil.

“Okay, what have I done?” sighed Dan.

Phil motioned to his throat.

“What? I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me. Just talk to me Phil.”

For a moment Phil looked very frustrated before he extended an arm across to his nightstand and grabbed his phone. Phil opened his memo page and began to type.

‘I’ve lost my voice!’ :(

It took Dan a little while to process what exactly Phil had written, but when it did sink in, Dan let go a small laugh, causing Phil to glance at Dan balefully.

‘It’s not funny, Dan! I’ve got calls to make, plus a liveshow to do later.’  Typed Phil.

“Yes it is! It’s too funny. So I’m finally going to get a few days of peace at long last,” said Dan jokingly.

This caused Phil to pout.

‘I hate you!’

“No you don’t,” laughed Dan before pulling his boyfriend into his arms to give him a good morning cuddle.

***

All day Phil had been alternating between texting Dan and using his memo pad on his phone to communicate.

At around four o’clock Phil text Dan:

To: Danny Boy 16:00

Dan, I’ve just fallen over in the bathroom and now my ankle hurts! Help!

Dan came barging his way into the bathroom to find Phil sat on the floor holding his ankle, a sad expression on his face.

“What did you do? No, you know what, never mind, let’s get you onto the bed.”

Dan bent forward and helped pull Phil to his good foot. Phil wound his arms around Dan’s neck and buried his face in the crook - it was the place he loved the most and just held Dan close.

“Honestly Phil, you’re a nightmare,” said Dan softly before drawing back a little and planting a soft kiss to Phil’s forehead. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

Phil kept one arm wound around Dan’s neck, the other he held out to the side to try and balance himself as he hopped along the landing. A few times Phil nearly fell taking Dan with him, but thankfully, Dan managed to stay manfully upright.

Once Dan had managed to get Phil on to the bed, Dan collapsed across the end of the bed.

“Jesus Christ, Phil, you nearly had us both over,” complained Dan as he rubbed his arms.

Phil chucked his phone at Dan.

‘I’m so sorry, my foot went from under me and I just went down. It hurts so much.’

Dan sighed and sat up. “You had better let me check that.”

Gently, Dan pulled the sock off of Phil’s foot, and indeed there was a slight swelling.

“Right grab a couple of the spare pillows underneath my top one whilst I go and grab an ice pack from the freezer,” ordered Dan.

Doing as he was told, Phil grabbed the spares, and put them under his ankle to elevate it. Dan was back in minutes with an ice pack wrapped in a tea-towel and gently placed it on Phil’s ankle. This action caused Phil to wince a little at the cold contact to his skin, but this soon melted away.

“Okay?” asked Dan.

Phil just nodded miserably.

***

‘Dan, I want to still do a liveshow tonight? Will you be my voice?’ asked Phil via his memo pad a couple of hours later.

“Really Phil? Can’t you just put a tweet out explaining that you’ve lost your voice, and you’ll do one next week?” asked Dan with a frown.

‘No! It’s been a few weeks as it is, and I want to see everyone’s lovely words!’ typed Phil stubbornly.

“You mean get attention, you tart,” said Dan good-naturedly.

Phil had the good grace to blush at that statement.

‘So you’ll do it? Pls? Ily!’

Phil gave Dan his most loving smile, the smile that made Dan feel like agreeing to anything.

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it,” grumbled Dan. “I hate you!”

But Phil just winked.

***

Phil put out a tweet:

Phil Lester

Hey guys! So I am doing a liveshow tonight, but I’ve lost my voice, so Dan has agreed to be my voice tonight. See you at 7pm.

***

The liveshow was a few minutes late starting due to Dan mucking about in the kitchen making drinks for them both.

When Dan had sat down, Phil hit the ‘Go Live’ button and the show began. Dan knew the routine of saying hello to some of Phil’s followers as they arrived. Once sufficient amount of people had been greeted, Dan turned to Phil, and hastily, Phil began to text. The phone in Dan’s pocket pinged.

Dan let out an inaudible sigh and pulled his phone out of his pocket to read Phil’s message aloud.

‘Hey guys, so thanks for joining us tonight. As you can see I have lost my voice so I have Dan acting as my voice for this evening.’

Phil began scanning the chat for questions whilst Dan made some small talk. A moment later, Dan’s phone pinged again.

‘Mary asks: How was Vidcon? It was good. Got to see lots of our friends again, and to meet a lot of you guys, which is always nice. Though whoever it was that sneezed on me is in my bad books lol.’

Dan read the text aloud again.

“Would you like me to read the premium messages?” asked Dan of Phil.

Phil gave a nod of approval.

“Phangirl33 says: thx for doing the show tonight,” read Dan.

Ping.

“Phil said: Thanks for being here,” read Dan.

The longer the liveshow went on, the more irritated Dan seemed to be getting. He wasn’t even really paying attention to what was even being said anymore. Which in the end caused Dan to make a huge mistake!

Dan read aloud the text that Phil had just sent him.

‘Dan, I know you’re not enjoying this very much, but I really do appreciate you doing this for me. You know if it was the other way around I would do the same for you, right? I love you so very, very much, Dan, always have and I always will.’ 

Dan’s eyes widen when he realised what exactly it was he’d done. He hadn’t meant to have read that message aloud, Dan looked at Phil in complete horror. Phil looked as if he was ready to pass out, Dan didn’t dare look at the chat has he knew full well what was likely being said. For a moment the guys just stared at each other before Phil began to silently laugh at the whole damn situation. It wasn’t long before Dan started laughing his head off too.

“I can’t believe I’ve just royally fucked up like that,” spluttered Dan. Red faced and wet cheeked, and totally forgetting about the liveshow for a moment. It wasn’t until Phil started pointing at the laptop did Dan remember. Dan gave Phil an enquiring look, and when Phil nodded Dan began to speak.

“Okay, so we hadn’t intended to come out that way, fuck, we never intended to come out at all, we were going to leave to your imaginations. But now that I’ve gone and screwed things up, this is it,” said Dan nervously.

Dan dared glance at the chat, it was speeding along at a hundred miles per hour by now, and was full of ‘OMG!’ ‘I’m crafting’ ‘Kiss’ ‘ASDFGHJKL WHAT?’ ‘WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?’ Dan glanced back at Phil before wrapping a large hand around the side of Phil’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

When they broke apart, they found the stream had completely crashed. The servers had been broken and they were just facing a black screen.

“Oops!” muttered Dan. Right now, his worries about the backlash they were going to likely face over the next few days sat heavily on his shoulders, but at the same time Dan felt so free.

‘I can’t believe you did that, Dan! But I’m so glad you did. I love you, and at long last I feel so... free... what abt you?’

“Me too, Phil, me too.”