#fear of yourself

[kittyoperas]

yet another Davrin painting ft. some piercings I thought he’d look handsome with

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[natjennie]

something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.

[punch-love]

the thing that's fun about parker and elliot is that elliot is clearly used to being the most extreme and damaged person in the room but anything he's done parker has done it worse and weirder to a degree that makes him feel genuinely outclassed

[attractthecrows]

let it also be said that I love the Mahariel + Lavellan worldstate. It's so haunted. You are Dalish, you are not a part of human culture, but by happenstance you're dragged into it and to the forefront of hell to save a world that hates and fears your people. You have no choice. You can never return to your home, to the familiar, to anything you've ever known. You will be an echo; Mahariel echoing Garahel, Lavellan echoing Mahariel. You're so proud of your Dalish heritage, but your identity doesn't matter at all. Doomed to be a martyr for a people that do not respect you and cannot understand you, while your clan mourns, lamenting that they cannot bury you, no life-tree to stand as your memory. You're a hero. You're already dead. You died the moment you left your clan.

[factsilike]

Something that I personally appreciate in MDZS is how WWX's fear of dogs is shown and handled.

Like so many stories, irl and in fiction show dogs as totally harmless uwu beings that will only protect you and lick your face, so personally for me it's nice to see a story where it's acknowledged that some dogs can be very vicious and violent, that they can and will bite you at any provocation, and that they can be very dangerous, especially to a young child, and in the end it's completely fine if you don't like them.

And no one who truly cares for WWX tells him to just get over it either; LWJ goes out of his way to protect him from them, with or without WWX requesting it (and he never makes fun of him or ridicules him for his fear), JL too (begrudgingly but firmly) gets Fairy to leave the scene when WWX is shown to be near catatonic with fear around her.

Just something that I think personally validates my own fear of dogs.

[makiinspace]

[spiritualseeker777]

[uncanny-tranny]

Something I love that some trans people do is talk about their pre-transition selves with no context as to their transition.

Like, if a trans woman talks about her past by saying, "when I was in Boy Scouts..." and never elaborates that she's trans and that there was a time where she was a boy scout. I just think that kind of normalization is great (and honestly, it can be funny when others are like "a GIRL in the BOY scouts?????? My life is changed")

[reality-detective]

[deoidesign]

Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between

[dykedvonte]

Trans Curly headcanons are fascinating to me cause like… Jimmy would resent him more for it.

Masculinity is a weird underlying thing in their dynamic where Jimmy feels inferior to Curly about not only their job positions but roles in life. The idea that Curly is the better man who also made himself such would be such a blow to Jimmy’s already fragile and unstable ego. Like it’s not just that he’s just transphobic, he hates Curly’s ability to craft himself into what he wants to be successfully, it not about Curly being afab but Curly still being the better man.

But then he wouldn’t get the self image issues one can face, feeling like an imposter in a space you wanted to be in or even scared to be there. He’d just think Curly always gets what he desires and thinks nothing of it like he always has.

[akindplace]

sometimes someone will tell you an incredibly judgmental opinion on you or on your life and it will be completely invalidating and it will be based only on their ignorance on whatever they are talking about and as hurtful as that invalidation is you should not assume that everyone will think the same way, even if they are sure they are telling an absolute truth. that is a weird thing to do in the first place and you don’t have to prove yourself to someone who believes they have constant moral or intellectual superiority. they’re an exception, not the rule. no one is judging you so hard and it’s okay if you don’t want to hang around someone who constantly puts you down or makes you feel like you don’t belong. just don’t assume everyone else agrees with them without ever giving other people a chance.

most often people are just dealing with their own problems and they are not scrutinizing every little thing you do, and you don’t have to act like someone else’s opinion of you is the whole truth just because they want that you to, especially when it’s based of no knowledge or experience and it carries so much prejudice. if you can walk away from those types of discussions, please do. don’t justify everything you do to someone who is committed to judging you based on their misconceptions and it’s not willing to see things from another perspective. I just promise you not everyone will be like them

[duncanor]

Million Knives is for the marginalized who felt like the whole world was against them and their only option for survival was to march on and bite back.

Which sound based until you realize you're biting everyone, including friends, family and yourself. It's not even survival anymore, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom.

You're not even an ally to your own nor to yourself, just a sick and lonely creature.

[dailyperkele]

DAY 7 - Feathers and engravings

I just really wanted to draw his feathered sleeves- also extra lil' doodles to show the engravings I gave him and how they work in the Rher's one case.