#fear of disappointment

[aesthetic-day-dream]

I am so riddled with the fear of disappointment and failure that sometimes i genuinely forget to breathe. They’re such horrifically heavy burdens to carry - ones that have been with me my entire life.

[servingsalad]

I showed up 15 minutes early to my job, feeling good and ready to work.

Then everyone was like "you're late"(/disappointed/annoyed) and I almost cried :)

At least everything went fine. The people got food and I haven't had a heart attack yet. Just anxiety.

[mecomplainingaboutallthethings]

SO MANY MISSED OPPORTUNITIES BECAUSE OF FEAR.

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

Navigating a Fade manifestation of Lucanis' PTSD as the underwater prison he was held and tortured in, to help him start dismantling his fears, begin healing and also accepting Spite, to help them both stop fighting for control, is certainly not on the list of things I expected from this game, but I'm so in love with it.

Even before that, you just know that Lucanis is not alright. He can't possibly be. He doesn't talk about it much, but who would be after the experiences he's had? And there are signs all over the place. I mean, he keeps hiding in the closed space of the pantry like a feral cat under a couch, and likely not just because of Spite, for example. But he keeps it all in, just like he keeps Spite in. Or out, even, in this case. But you also know that he can't go on like that forever.

And now, Lucanis has finally hit the wall. Thankfully, Spite knows what to do. So, he briefly takes the steering wheel. "Help us." ("He'll listen! He always listens to you!" I feel totally normal about knowing this, thanks, Spite.)

Just... the doors of Lucanis' mental prison opening for Rook by themselves as they gently talk down each manifestation of Lucanis' fears and doubts as a metaphor for Lucanis letting Rook in and letting himself be vulnerable with them is just 👌 Delightful. We don't break a single lock. He opens himself up to us.

And it doesn't magically solve all his problems and restore his mental health, of course, but it's a promising start. I like how the game acknowledges this. Rook is there for him, easing some of the worst thoughts, lending him perspective that he lacks because his mental downwards spiral is so thoroughly suffocating at that point. They're helping him start somewhere. Of course, helping Lucanis reach an understanding with Spite, thus helping him end the constant and surely stressful and exhausting battle over his own body there and then, showing him that Rook accepts and cares about him the way he is, so he can start accepting himself that way, goes a long way. It doesn't fix everything, but it's an important breakthrough.

The way Lucanis looks at Rook afterwards, when Teia asks them if they're alright? Also great. 👌

Though I think Rook should be able to hold Lucanis for at least like 300 hours afterwards, because that's approximately the amount of time I need to cry about it - the whole thing, Lucanis' dynamic with Rook, and Spite's trust for Rook and his willingness to play nice despite having been ignored and pushed away for so long.

Actually, poor Spite doesn't get enough credit for all that. He really goes, "Fuck, if he's not going let me in or go to Rook for help, I'm going to pull them into the deepest crevices of his psyche, so they can see the mess for themselves," and improves the situation for himself, Lucanis, and his budding relationship. Good job, Spite!

[vaguely-concerned]

huh. you know something I just consciously put together for the first time about caterina and lucanis' relationship is that through the game we get to hear them talk about each other a lot, but we get very few chances to hear them speak with each other at any length at all. contrast it with other companions whose storylines have elements of 'believed lost/long time no see relative returns!' like bellara and davrin, where we get to see both of them have several pretty in-depth conversations with cyrian and eldrin. hell I think even rook talks with varric longer in the regret prison scene than we ever get to see lucanis and caterina interact directly.

(and when we do see them interact, it's mostly one-sided -- it is, perhaps unsurprisingly, caterina who is doing most of the talking and giving all the orders, as he ruefully observes is her wont after murder of crows. including jumpscaring him with 'you're first talon now btw' and the shocked pikachu face in five acts he goes through in response lmao. perhaps it's more accurate to say that she talks at him and he reacts, than that they talk to each other much.)

it has such an interesting effect too, because in deliberately denying us direct insight or experience and only having this mosaic of description from each of them to go on, as well as forcing us to pay attention to the negative space of what is carefully not said, it's evocative along the same principle that you never actually show the monster in a horror film. if you've read the wigmaker job you have a clearer image of the more uh. worrying elements at play here going in, but there is something fascinatingly insidious and naturalistic in the way it's 'hushed up' in the game itself. she has his complete loyalty both as a member of her house and, more importantly, that of an abused child to a parent figure. he readily admits several times that she's a difficult person to live with, an even more difficult person to be loved by ("even for me. and I was her favourite")... but never once does he actively blame her nor truly conceptualize that he has every right to do so (that he can be angry with her and still love her, because whether he should or not he unavoidably does), or that she might have acted differently than she did, that she made a choice every time to hurt him. even affectionately he speaks of her as a force of nature, an act of god -- something that can't be reasoned or pleaded with or resisted, something you can only hope to navigate with as little pain as possible and pray to survive. let yourself get carried away by the riptide, resisting it will only make it worse. you don't compromise with a hurricane, you just try to find the best shelter you can and cross your fingers while you wait for it to pass and be calm again.

love is that hurricane. you do whatever she asks. you earn her continued affection day by day by never letting her down. you only want the things she tells you it's okay to want and cut everything else away preemptively. ("A wyvern tooth dagger?? I loved wyverns as a boy --Caterina would never let me have one of these, though." and as we have all wept and gnashed our teeth over, it never even OCCURS to him that he's a like thirty-five year old adult man who can buy himself any dagger he wants at any time. she said he couldn't have one. so he'll never have one. that's just how it works. and maybe if Illario could just accept that and find his peace with it like I have, this whole thing wouldn't be so difficult. oh lucanis.)

such is the price -- and the cost -- of being loved by her, it's a loan on which the interest will never stop piling up. you have to keep paying it down in perfection every day if you want to keep it. who got the worse deal there: the grandson who has abandoned everything else in life to live up to that and mostly succeeded, until the day he's so burned out and broken it threatens to no longer be an option, or the grandson who can never seem to scrape together enough worth in her eyes no matter how he begs, borrows or steals it, how he hustles and plays dirty?

one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is to be loved by a selfish god. another one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone is to not be loved by a selfish god. (hope that helps, boys!) even in betraying everything else, Illario can't bring himself to hurt his grandmother, because that would defeat the whole point. who would he defiantly be proving himself worthy to, without her. in love, devotion, submission, hatred, frustration, bitterness, everything is defined in relation to her, you can spot the gravitational force of it through how the dellamorte family move through time and space. she -- her love and regard and attention -- is still the sun both of their worlds orbit around, even as adults. the game might never tell you outright 'she used to beat and starve them growing up. for their own good you see, so they'd be strong (and broken down enough for her to build them up again however she wanted but I'm sure that's incidental)', but if you know even a little bit about how these dynamics can work the writing is on the wall everywhere you look and all the more unsettling for it.

follow lucanis' freeze-logic and fraught interpersonal catch 22 irreconcilable mixed emotions problems back far enough, looong before the ossuary entered the picture, and you start to see caterina's ghost around every fucking corner. she is so proud of him. (well, she would be. she made him. she forged exactly the knife she needed and it rests willingly, devotedly, in her hands, it would return to her every time because it doesn't know love as anything but to be a knife. his tama never taught him how to be anything else. his biggest fear with her is that she won't even want him back, the way he is now.) to the best ability of her soul, whatever parts of it survived a lifetime of crow politics and 'five children, eight grandchildren, only Illario and me left now', I think she really does loves him. he certainly loves her, with all the sincerity and artless desperation of a child, of the little boy he was once. and what she's done to him (and to illario, for all his shitty gremlin scar-ass antics lol) is awful. the harm is real, and the love is real, and trying to find a way for these two truths to exist in the same space is driving all three of them their own individualized forms of insane. you know. the way only family can and so often does lol.

through implications and short glimpses and having to put the pieces together yourself, you can have the feeling that there is very genuine mutual love and attachment in this relationship... and that beneath that there is something so profoundly wrong. and the sneaking '...oh shit it gets worse the longer I think about it' horror of that is more effective for me at least than the stark in-your-face presentation of the facts of the matter could have been. the love is here. the love is here. it only ever makes it worse.

[bl00dfroma-fairy]

[trialsofthedas]

Some Random Crow: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life extremely difficult.

Rook, who only fears Viago or Teia : put up or shut up fucking loser

[essektheylyss]

I'm cackling at Allura lecturing them about morality. The only wizard in Exandria who took the research ethics course. The lone institutional review board, except the institution is "Arcana Proficiency" and the board is One Very Tired Woman.

[twistedappletree]

wei wuxian: hey do you guys take constructive criticism well?

the juniors: *already in tears* yeah what is it

[aurorangen]

I need to tell them. Those were the words occupying Robbie's mind throughout the afternoon with his parents. But why ruin a good day? Any parent would react badly hearing the news of their son quitting his career at a highly respected company. Robbie knew Leilani would react less severely, given her positive outlook on all situations, so when Bryce went to buy some food, he took the opportunity.

Having finally discussed the matter, Robbie felt an immediate sense of relief. "Oh come here, darling, you did the right thing quitting." It pained Leilani to hear her son struggling and concealing this information from her, "You must always prioritise yourself and that job wasn't doing you any good...I just want you to be happy and healthy Robbie." When Bryce returned, Robbie took a deep breath and said, "Dad, there's something you should know."

Bryce pressured Robbie to be successful without fully realising it. These were things such as comparing him to Renee, always asking about work research and setting high expectations given their shared love for biology and science. When Renee and Robbie secured good jobs, he boasted about them to friends and family, which undoubtedly unnerved Robbie anytime reality didn't meet expectations. Now that he quit his job, it was that fear of disappointment.

Faced with his dad, Robbie felt like he impulsively threw away his ambition, when he could've resolved the issues by dismissing them until things went away. Anger welled up in Bryce's eyes after the conversation and Robbie braced himself for the sighs and disapproval.

"Who are those co-workers Robbie??? I'm gonna teach those jerks a lesson cos no one messes with my son!" Bryce responded with an assertiveness in his voice, hinting he'd do anything to defend his family. As much as Robbie would've liked to see that, it wasn't the most sensible action. "T-Thanks Dad, but I've moved on from those events," Robbie admitted, still taken aback by his reaction. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you a better upbringing, I-I never meant to put that much pressure," Bryce explained after calming down, "I just want the best for you."

"Look, I'm proud of you. You don't have to reach the top of your career or earn the big wages-…hell you don't even have to prove anything to show me that. I'm already so proud of you every minute and every day, because you are my son."

[mythosphere]

ODYSSEY MOVIE 2026

[lunar-years]

This is the pessimist jumping out of me but I think what irks me most about the level of rep tv hype is that I KNOW half these people are gonna be the exact same ones loudly complaining on rep tv release night because “delicate sounds slightly off at minute 1:34” or “how could they ruin getaway car :(“ or “this new photoshoot doesn’t even fit the vibe” or “why do these vault tracks sound like they belong on midnights :(“

[serpentgoat]

Pride in the dungeons

I wish leabians were real

[tooselfaware]

Cale being so shocked after reading the countdown paper from God of Death really brings out Kim Rok Soo.

It also brings out all his repressed fear from the past and stirs his fear in the present. But he keeps internalizing everything! And then he wonders why everyone is so concerned even with his mask on.

He says he's weak but he always tries to hide his vulnerabilities. He doesn't want people depending on him but never wants to fail the people depending on him.

It's just so sad, but very human. He's been living like that for so long that even he himself doesn't see why he's afraid because "he can't be afraid."

[wishchip106]

he doesn’t like that

😧

[nelkcats]

Baby Banshee

Halfa is just Danny's overall classification due to him being a human/ghost hybrid. However, if we go into what species he is classified into, he is a Banshee.

More specifically, Danny is a Baby Banshee. Although some consider that the Banshees are bad luck, in reality they usually scream to warn of great catastrophes. However, because Danny was just a baby ghost he was learning it now and had random impulses that led him to scream in the most random places, he couldn't control his wail.

Realizing how weird the halfa was (a male banshee, and a ghost baby at the same time), the ghosts decided to set him up with babysitters for when he went through his ghost childhood. Due to how powerful the child was he ended up being cared for by the Ancients. Which had no problem adapting to his needs and tried to keep him out of trouble.

On one of those occasions, Danny felt the urge to go in a specific direction. He ended up in a portal that guided him to the DC universe and wailed as loud as he could, which baffled the heroes.

He was obviously a child but had destroyed an entire complex with his scream and because of that they decided it was better to contain him. Danny was confused, he was warning them about the danger! Why weren't they listening?

Constantine understood what was happening instantly and warned the heroes to get away from the Banshee immediately. Hal mocked at the wizard's paranoia and encased the boy in a bubble. Which let out a cry when he was trapped and sent a danger signal from his core.

This ended with the Justice League facing off against obviously upset Ancients who were demanding their baby back.