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must edit stupid essay that's currently 219 words longer than it should be but y'see the thing is I really just don't want to.... I mean why do I actually have to come up with words for this. can I not just. abstract poetry perhaps? words are visual representation of meaning... could I maybe represent the feeling of finding meaning in helping my lab partner not fail chem by such a large margin through a large swath of amber paint. could I do that. would admissions people accept that.
#where's that motivational pinup when you need it#btw just got back from my old hometown#and I used to miss it so much but it's not home anymore#everything seems so strange and different now#they have damned turning lanes instead of divided highways#and in some ways it's changed (children's museum a shadow of its former self) and in some ways I've changed (really not used to heat)#and through it all i have this damned essay to write#school isn't even in session!#multiple damned essays btw#but you could see the stars down there#i never see the stars anymore#and there's cornfields and horses and terrifying blind curves#and really bad cell service#and my grandfather's grave which i didn't visit this time#but i am glad not to be crashing on my grandma's couch tonight#gets very old very fast#she came up with us#which is gonna be... interesting#because i love her and she raised me but she forgets so much and she can be irritable and i know i have to be patient#and im trying#but it scares me
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he truly always did love her
shawngela in every episode → 5.07
#could write essays on this episode#the way he fell so fast and hard but soon realizes that it could’ve only been her#all roads lead back to angela#shawngela#boy meets world#thank you donna karan for your service#shawn and angela#bmw
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"have you seen this tv show" i was born in the 80s. we did not just Watch Entire Shows back in the day, they were just On TV sometimes. please be more explicit in your polls
do you mean - have you seen at least one episode? - have you seen a few episodes? maybe randomly. maybe not full episodes because you were flipping thru channels and missed the first 10 minutes or didn't change back fast enough after an ad break - have you seen enough episodes to know what's going on with the show but maybe not all consecutive or in order (did you watch a marathon on tnt? did you catch episodes whenever it was on but didn't go back and binge watch the rest?) - have you seen at least one full season in entirety (you binge watched it on a streaming service/own the season ie on dvd) - have you watched most of the show in its entirety but rage quit or got distracted before the final season(s)? - have you watched the entire show episode 1 thru the finale all seasons (streaming service/own the show on ie dvd) - so many other possibilities???? - also did i have to be paying enough attention to write a response essay or can it just be On while I was doing other stuff and I sorta know what happened what even counts as "watching" a show anyway
#i used to watch a few shows! and never saw all the episodes#like xfiles and tng and xena and...#i have watched marathons of stargate sg1 but i couldn't sketch out the whole show narrative plot for you only the basic set up mechanisms#the modern notions of having 'watched' a show are very completionist#which is how lots of shows now are designed to be watched and it is great for deeper storytelling (and in fewer episodes)#but i still have no fucking clue how to answer any of these polls lmao#i have questions(tm)
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"Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile" | Maria x Gareth - Days of Youth
Summer seemed to have come around fast for Maria, she had turned 18 in the March and since then her life had been filled with the final exams for her a-levels. Summer, therefore, was supposed to be a time for her to relax before university, to allow herself to have all those experiences 18 year olds were supposed to want...
Maria, despite the urging from both parents and grandparents though was still reading, studying, working hard just in case there was even the slimmest chance she hadn't passed something - which was highly unlikely.
It was fair, that they worried she wasn't living her young life to the fullest. Maria had few friends, buried herself in books and couldn't resist correcting people. She'd been called everything at school and college from know-it-all to brainiac and had been used by others, so they could copy her answers, more times than she cared to admit.
Better, she thought, even if her family didn't agree, to stick to books, be content with the people around her and not worry about what everyone else seemed to think she was lacking. Life was long, she'd have plenty of time for silliness when she was older. Her Grandfather was testament to that.
Maria had come to the pub to give the illusion she was getting out of the house, she had still brought a book and a notebook with her. She would read the book, from her reading list, like she did with others she might write an essay on, once for pleasure then once for study. Concentration was becoming difficult as the evening chatter from the patrons in the pub grew the noise level and her concentration was entirely shattered when not to far from her a group of men were shouting, cheering, egging each other on and one of them was quoting Shakespeare.
"Oh for goodness sake," Maria finally snapped, almost, but not quite slamming her book down on the table. Her tone befitting someone much older and more matronly. "the line is:
The strong necessity of time commands Our services awhile, but my full heart Remains in use with you. Our Italy Shines o’er with civil swords.
She put real emphasis on the words he had gotten wrong or mostly missed. "If you're going to disturb everyone's evenings rowdily quoting the bard the least you can do is get it right."
@dontcxckitup
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Excerpt from this Conservation Works blog on Substack:
Michael Soulé, the founder of conservation biology, used to say that one of the most important pieces of advice he got as a young scientist was “when in doubt, count.” Monitoring — counting or otherwise measuring organisms in the same place over time — is the foundation of conservation biology, and in many ways it’s the foundation of conservation, too. Unless someone counts how many lizards, salmon, ferns, or species of butterflies live in a certain place, and repeats the count at regular intervals, that group of organisms can decline or even die out unnoticed. Before an organism can be conserved, it has to be counted.
But what’s the point of counting organisms that seem doomed to extinction? That’s the question tropical biologist Peter Edmunds addresses in a recent BioScience essay titled “Why keep monitoring coral reefs?”
For nearly four decades, Edmunds has been monitoring coral reefs at two locations in the U.S. Virgin Islands, using annual photographs to measure changes in the relative extent of coral and algae. He started the project in 1987, less than a year before the first known Caribbean-wide coral bleaching event; since then, coral extent at one of his sites has shrunk by 92 percent and at the other by 52 percent. Both reefs used to be dominated by boulder star coral, a large, stony species that provides structure to Caribbean reefs and protects the region’s coastlines from erosion. Now, they are dominated by fast-growing “weedy” corals and algae. Given that climate change continues to drive up water temperatures and increase the frequency and intensity of hurricanes, writes Edmunds, “the prospects for community recovery are bleak.”
Yet he argues that monitoring matters, and will continue to matter. The series of photographs Edmunds and his colleagues have accumulated, for instance, suggests that acute disturbances such as hurricanes and major bleaching events cause less damage over time than the everyday stress of rising water temperatures. Moreover, as he writes drily, “the past is an imperfect predictor of the future, ensuring that old data can never fully take the place of new information.” Even a grievously altered system such as the Virgin Islands reefs will continue to change in different ways for different reasons, and understanding those changes will be essential to protecting the life that persists — both at sea and on land.
I was reminded of Edmunds’ argument earlier this month, when I attended the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem Biennial Scientific Conference, held this year in Big Sky, Montana. One of the speakers was Tom Olliff, an ecologist who, like Edmunds, has dedicated himself to one ecosystem: he spent 32 years living and working in Yellowstone National Park, eventually directing its Science and Resource Management Division.
Olliff noted the remarkable changes in and around Yellowstone during the course of his career, including the reintroduction of wolves, the recovery of grizzly bears, the boom in visitor numbers, and the excruciating and still-growing development pressure on private lands. He called on his listeners, who included many colleagues and friends, to undertake “audacious acts of conservation,” projects that take a long time to realize and may face determined opposition.
Olliff named some headline-grabbing audacious acts, like wolf reintroduction and dam removal. But he ended his talk with a quieter example. In his current position as a regional research manager for the National Park Service, he has been working with wildlife biologist Don Swann on the long-term monitoring of saguaro cacti in the Sonoran Desert of Arizona and Mexico. Though adult saguaros are still common, young saguaros are struggling to survive as temperatures rise. How long should scientists plan to monitor the population? Four decades from now, a report on the saguaro population might be as grim as Edmunds’ assessment of the Virgin Islands reefs.
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Mass tech worker layoffs and the soft landing
As tech giants reach terminal enshittification, hollowed out to the point where they are barely able to keep their end-users or business customers locked in, the capital classes are ready for the final rug-pull, where all the value is transfered from people who make things for a living to people who own things for a living.
If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/21/tech-workers/#sharpen-your-blades-boys
“Activist investors” have triggered massive waves of tech layoffs, firing so many tech workers so quickly that it’s hard to even come up with an accurate count. The total is somewhere around 280,000 workers:
https://layoffs.fyi/
These layoffs have nothing to do with “trimming the fat” or correcting the hiring excesses of the lockdown. They’re a project to transfer value from workers, customers and users to shareholders. Google’s layoff of 12,000 workers followed fast on the heels of gargantuan stock buyback where the company pissed away enough money to pay those 12,000 salaries…for the next 27 years.
The equation is simple: the more companies invest in maintenance, research, development, moderation, anti-fraud, customer service and all the other essential functions of the business, the less money there is to remit to people who do nothing and own everything.
The tech sector has grown and grown since the first days of the PC — which were also the first days of neoliberalism (literally: the Apple ][+ went on sale the same year Ronald Reagan hit the campaign trail). But despite a long-run tight labor market for tech workers, there have been two other periods of mass layoffs — the 2001 dotcom collapse and the Great Financial Crisis of 2008.
Both of those were mass extinction events for startups and the workers who depended on them. The mass dislocations of those times were traumatic, and each one had its own aftermath. The dotcom collapse freed up tons of workers, servers, offices and furniture, and a massive surge in useful, user-centric technologies. The Great Financial Crisis created the gig economy and a series of exploitative, scammy “bro” startups, from cryptocurrency grifts to services like Airbnb, bent on converting the world’s housing stock into unlicensed hotel rooms filled with hidden cameras.
Likewise, the post-lockdown layoffs have their own character: as Eira May writes on StackOverflow, many in the vast cohort of laid-off tech workers is finding it relatively easy to find new tech jobs, outside of the tech sector:
https://stackoverflow.blog/2023/03/19/whats-different-about-these-layoffs/
May cites a Ziprecruiter analysis that claims that 80% of laid-off tech workers found tech jobs within 3 months, and that there are 375,000 open tech roles in American firms today (and that figure is growing):
https://www.ziprecruiter.com/blog/laid-off-tech-workers/
There are plenty of tech jobs — just not in tech companies. They’re in “energy and climate technology, healthcare, retail, finance, agriculture, and more” — firms with intensely technical needs and no technical staff. Historically, many of these firms would have outsourced their technological back-ends to the Big Tech firms that just destroyed so many jobs to further enrich the richest people on Earth. Now, those companies are hiring ex-Big Tech employees to run their own services.
The Big Tech firms are locked in a race to see who can eat their seed corn the fastest. Spreading tech expertise out of the tech firms is a good thing, on balance. Big Tech’s vast profits come from smaller businesses in the real economy who couldn’t outbid the tech giants for tech talent — until now.
These mass layoff speak volumes about the ethos of Silicon Valley. The same investors who rent their garments demanding a bailout for Silicon Valley Bank to “help the everyday workers” are also the loudest voices for mass layoffs and transfers to shareholders. The self-styled “angel investor” who spent the weekend of SVB’s collapse all-caps tweeting dire warnings about the impact on “the middle class” and “Main Street” also gleefully DM’ed Elon Musk in the runup to his takeover of Twitter:
Day zero
Sharpen your blades boys 🔪
2 day a week Office requirement = 20% voluntary departures.
https://newsletter.mollywhite.net/p/the-venture-capitalists-dilemma
For many technologists, the allure of digital tools is the possibility of emancipation, a world where we can collaborate to make things without bosses or masters. But for the bosses and masters, automation’s allure is the possibility of getting rid of workers, shattering their power, and replacing them with meeker, cheaper, more easily replaced labor.
That means that workers who go from tech firms to firms in the real economy might be getting lucky — escaping the grasp of bosses who dream of a world where technology lets them pit workers against each other in a race to the bottom on wages, benefits and working conditions, to employers who are glad to have them as partners in their drive to escape Big Tech’s grasp.
Tomorrow (Mar 22), I’m doing a remote talk for the Institute for the Future’s “Changing the Register” series.
Image: University of North Texas Libraries (modified) https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth586821/
[Image ID: A group of firefighters holding a safety net under a building from which a man is falling; he is supine and has his hands behind his head. The sky has a faint, greyscale version of the 'Matrix Waterfall' effect. The building bears a Google logo.]
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Tibetan Sea Flower (藏海花) Drama Review or Why I Think It’s a Laundry List of Crimes Actually
Because somebody had to do it
So the Tibetan Sea Flower (or 藏海花, or Adventure Behind The Bronze Door) drama, meant to be adapting the Tibetan Sea Flower novel, first sequel following the main eight volumes of Daomu Biji, has been out for a while now, and I finally got around to actually finishing it. And I have Many Things to say about it
That I can tell, a lot of people in the English-speaking part of the fandom have praised it for various reasons, and while I’m glad there are people who enjoyed it, I’m not one of those people, so for the sake of variety of opinion I thought I’d share my thoughts about it. I could honestly write an essay because that’s how many crimes this drama committed in my opinion, but no one wants to read All That so this is going to be an attempt at a highlight reel
TLDR; Tibetan Sea Flower is firmly at the bottom of my list of DMBJ adaptations with Lost Tomb 2.5. It’s only slightly above that because unlike Lost Tomb 2.5, Tibetan Sea Flower has a few redeeming qualities at least
First off, some things I did enjoy, or if not enjoy, that I can appreciate in a “there was a vision” sense
My favorite part of this drama was the first 4 or 5 episodes, and the choice to start with the tail end of volume 8 of the main story was a smart decision in that it gave a lot more emotional impact leading into ZHH proper. The start of the drama is fast-paced without feeling rushed, and while my opinion on the ZHH drama isn’t entirely based off of doing a one-to-one comparison with the book (mostly because adaptations inevitably change things to adapt to a new medium so they can’t and shouldn’t be one-to-one copies), the fact it followed the book to a T was a touch I appreciated. The cinematography, directing, and music for the most part are also a strong point this drama has going for it. I can also appreciate that the PingXie married vibes were off the charts to the point where every single time someone said “you’re the patriarch’s chosen one/friend” they might as well have been calling Wu Xie ‘Zhang furen’ it would have been the same thing. The addition of Ten Years Later (and the Fishing King extra which isn’t really an extra anymore since it’s been published as part of Ten Years Later) is also a decision I can appreciate in theory, and from a storytelling perspective makes for a fulfilling and thematically relevant ending. Chen Minghao as Pangzi also almost single-handedly carried the entire drama, iconic, thank you for your service king
Now that that’s out of the way, I can get into the meat and entire point of this post, that is some of the multiple crimes the ZHH drama committed because trust there are Many
I think the fact it started out so strong to me is what makes the rest of it worse. I’m not even sure if I can actually coherently explain the extent of the psychic damage this drama gave me by the time I finished it. There are sometimes significant differences between the drama and the book, which is something I expected because it’s an adaptation, and departures from the source material aren’t necessarily a bad thing. So it’s not that it’s different from the book that’s fundamentally a problem for me. What is a problem, however, is when an adaptation decides to make choices that fundamentally compromise the integrity of both the characters and the overarching plot. I don’t tend to expect anything from DMBJ adaptations, mostly because in general their quality varies, and they’re the main source of the misconception that DMBJ canon is a mess of inconsistencies and lack of cohesion when the original source material is by opposition generally both consistent and cohesive. The ZHH drama is one of those drama adaptations that decided to take the equivalent of a sledgehammer to everything from characterization and lore to any hope of cohesion between it and either the other drama adaptations or the books
The Zhang family lore takes the biggest hit. The casual obliteration of it is probably my biggest beef with this drama, and I can already hear people saying “but it’s not obliterated if it’s thematically adjacent, it doesn’t have to copy the book!. Now listen. It can be thematically relevant and not need to copy the book without creating completely unnecessary plot contradictions with the rest of the story, and as far as the Zhang family lore reworks are concerned, some of them aren’t even thematically appropriate, and sometimes are done in a way that’s?? Honestly baffling to me. Zhang Nian’s entire arc and existence is one of those, because he manages to make himself and the entire subplot that stems from him completely irrelevant by episode 20 where the drama just goes “...so anyway!”
There’s also the choice of having the tianshou (or the heavenly gift) be some sort of bug poison/disease that’s implied to be the only thing holding the Zhang family back from being “free” and living a normal life, and so from the moment Xiaoge decides to take on the mantle of Zhang Qiling for his own personal reasons (which is another issue I have), he alone bears the weight of the heavenly gift, and the rest of the family either disperses into living perfectly normal lives, or is at a bit of a loss as to what to do, which while this last bit is true to some extent for the overseas branch in the books, it stems from circumstances forcing them rather than a goal they wanted to achieve. I’m going to be very generous in blaming this change on censorship, but this alone, surface level as it is, is already contradicting the Zhang family’s most important thematic relevance in the story beyond the lore itself: the fact that they’re meant to be a family led astray by their own hubris and isolationist elitism, eventually switching gears from re: Queen’s Banquet an ancient people likely cursed by primordial entities beyond human understanding into becoming Other and seeking a cure for that, to a widespread and powerful clan pulling the strings of an entire empire for centuries upon centuries seeking a way to achieve true immortality
In the books, the Zhang family’s downfall is their own hubris that blinds them to their own failings to the point that eventually they lead themselves to being wiped out entirely by the Wang family, at least as far as the main branch is concerned. In the ZHH drama, their downfall isn’t even a downfall so much as it’s like they decided to retire and are having post-retirement depression. Zhang Nian is a pawn for the Wang clan, and in that sense he’s “relevant”, but his story is long-winded at best and undermines the impact and importance of the Wang family itself that ends up becoming a barely relevant footnote much like Sand Sea itself
The only thing I’m willing to believe is that Xiaoge either suffers from a more powerful version of the tianshou or is the only Zhang family member at present that suffers from it, mostly because we have no other living members of the main family alive to know if the tianshou ever became a burden Zhang Qiling alone carried for the rest of the clan. I’d be here forever if I started getting into how the ZHH drama somehow managed to lowkey retcon the Zhang family lore that was hinted at at the end of Queen’s Banquet, but it’s impressive how it managed to do even that. By the time it reached this point in episode 31 I was honestly just head in hands
Characterization issues in this drama also exist, and the three characters who suffer from it the most are probably Zhang Haike, and to a certain extent both Xiaoge and Wu Xie. Zhang Haike’s character is changed to the extent he might as well be a different character altogether so I won’t bother going into detail or I’ll be here for a while (TLDR; more or less erasing the fact he wears Wu Xie’s face permanently erases the somewhat antagonistic and overall complicated relationship he has with Wu Xie), but Xiaoge and Wu Xie have smaller changes that create contradictions down the line
Despite the drama mostly (but not entirely) disproving that Xiaoge specifically chose Wu Xie to carry on the task of tending to the tibetan sea flowers, it doesn’t discard the possibility entirely, which creates a number of problems, namely the fact that Xiaoge’s entire reasoning for going behind the bronze door in Wu Xie’s place and pushing him away the whole way up Changbai Mountain was to try and push Wu Xie out of tomb robbing and conspiracies altogether. Xiaoge sets up contingencies to help Wu Xie if he reaches specific points of no return, but going behind the bronze door is essentially Xiaoge doing the exact opposite of choosing Wu Xie to do a task, he’s aggressively unchoosing him. He also doesn’t ever relegate his duties as Zhang Qiling to other people
The same goes for the reasoning behind Xiaoge becoming Zhang Qiling being a deliberate move to help him find out who his parents are. This I can’t entirely discredit simply because the Three Days of Silence extra (the story of Xiaoge meeting Baima) gives no specific timeline or indication of his reason for going to the Jila temple besides that he was looking for a woman but he didn’t know who she was, and ZHH the book itself never talks about the circumstances behind Xiaoge becoming Zhang Qiling. The early main books place emphasis on Xiaoge’s driving force being discovering his identity and by extension his place in the world, so it’s not impossible to consider that might have been the case when he was a child as well. This is mostly vibes and not so objective, but the vibes are different, and to me Xiaoge becoming Zhang Qiling carries something more akin to a lamb offered as a sacrifice that accepts the role it’s been given, coupled with stepping up to a duty the Zhang family had essentially abandoned by that point, as opposed to doing it for strictly personal reasons. The same goes for the entire reasoning behind the tianshou wanting to kill Zhang Haike’s wife and taking control of Xiaoge to do so, because there’s irony in making Xiaoge, historically the least traditionalist Zhang alive outside of his actual duties as Zhang Qiling, Zhang family traditionalist number one via tianshou as if tianshou ever cared about the Zhang family’s isolationist politics or other earthly forms of power or symbols
Wu Xie is more complicated in that part of the problem for me is that I don’t particularly like Zhang Luyi as Wu Xie. Or in general as an actor. I’m aware this is a personal preference, but a lot of the more emotional moments were lost on me because to me he simply wasn’t conveying whatever emotion was meant to be conveyed convincingly. The biggest issue I have with Wu Xie’s portrayal outside of that is the subtle erasure of his character development. Reducing the Wang family’s relevance and impact cheapens their importance in the overarching story, which in turn cheapens the Sand Sea plan and its extreme difficulty, and the heavy personal cost of it for Wu Xie, which takes shape in the changes to the origin of his self-harm scars. Again, changing things from the book is fine, but when it alters what I consider to be a fundamental element in a character, it becomes a problem
The ZHH drama makes a point of showing that the first two scars that Wu Xie gives himself stem from what’s basically survivor’s guilt. He failed to protect the Zhang family, like he failed to prevent a situation that forced the Yinshaluo (I’m not sure that’s the name of the tribe considering all the place names in this drama are fake) warrior to sacrifice himself to stop the storm. Wu Xie punishes himself because he feels he failed, because he felt like he could have and should have done better. There are elements of that in the reasoning behind his scars in the Sand Sea book where their origin is explained, but the fundamental difference is that ZHH drama Wu Xie’s actions and reasoning come from a place where survivor’s guilt aside, he’s not objectively to blame for situations beyond his control, and in that sense, he’s “morally good”. Sand Sea book Wu Xie’s actions and reasoning come from the perspective of a man who deliberately orchestrated events in which he manipulated various people into becoming his pawns on a very high risk chessboard. Each scar represents a bad choice of move of the pawn that resulted in the death of his chosen sacrifice, so the element of failure is there, but the difference lies in the fact that contrary to the ZHH drama where he fails to save people, in the book, the people behind the scars are his victims that he willingly led to their deaths. He punishes himself because it’s his way of tolerating the intolerable from himself. Wu Xie’s amorality for the greater good in Sand Sea is such an important facet of his character, and by shifting the origin of those scars, it takes away from that element that the ZHH drama doesn’t hint at at all, or barely
There’s so many more things I could get into about this drama, like how paralleling Wu Xie and Xiaoge as being similar feels like a fundamental misunderstanding of their characters because them being different is the entire point. It’s doubly ironic when NPSS said recently that the entire point is that they’re entirely different people who only after the ten years have passed meet in the middle where their trajectories truly parallel each other: one of a man who went from a god to a man, and one of a man who went from man to god. I could talk about how Mama Bear Pangzi is a carry-over from the Reboot drama that doesn’t accurately reflect either what Pangzi is like in the books or how his dynamic with Wu Xie functions in them. I could talk about how despite there being good intentions in adding those scenes, shoving in as many impactful moments from the main story and Ten Years Later + Fishing King as they possibly could ended up feeling like boxes were being ticked off a list and it took away from their impact to the point some of those moments felt off or bland. It didn’t help that whether it was a directing issue or a filming issue (not an acting issue because Zhang Kangle was overall a good interpretation of Xiaoge), Xiaoge had practically no actual chemistry with either Wu Xie or Pangzi. I could talk about this drama’s pacing issues where it yo-yoed between going fast then excruciatingly slow. I could talk about the irony of an adaptation managing to both take a sledgehammer to the source material in a way that’s honestly criminal, yet ironically also being one the least newcomer friendly DMBJ adaptations
It’s safe to say I won’t be watching the ZHH drama again. This post exists mostly for the purpose of expounding on why I didn’t like this drama despite its strong start instead of just saying “it was bad”
#dmbj#tibetan sea flower#adventure behind the bronze door#meta#something of a review#i really could go on about this drama#i honestly had hopes for it in the beginning#but there came a point where it just kept getting worse and worse until watching it became a chore#i'm glad there are people who enjoyed it but i think i just wasn't the target audience#and not to make this a books vs drama people thing#but that i could tell from talking to different people on different platforms#and what's been said on weibo and dmbj forums#the books readers in a broad sense were somehow not the target audience either
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I have written an essay about why i don't like act 4 (and how i would fix it) and you can read it right here under the cut! Warning its. long again.
Why Act 4 isn’t very good and how I’d fix it. A stupid essay by Wally / SirWow —------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ DISCLAIMER!This is going to be a bit of an over exaggeration when it comes to how I feel about act 4. I think it’s serviceable and all the music and all* of the gameplay is very well done. (*4-2n has problems but I'll get into that.) This is out of a place of absolute adoration for this game and how much I’ve come to love it in the past few months. Also if you don’t know anything about RD this will make no sense <3 With that out of the way, take it away insane Wally. —------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rhythm Doctor’s acts all have a speciality of being completely unique and different from the last. Act 1 is a basic introduction to the tone and feel of the game; Fun, a bit goofy, heartfelt and even dramatic at times. Act 2 feels almost like the start of a slice of life romance. The dumb guy with a coffee addiction and the sarcastic barista that serves him with an energetic secret side. Act 3, what it lacks in one settled idea it makes up in a jam packed and fast story that expands the scope of this at first basic story. Act 5 is the king of acts (as of writing this!) a single focused story on Lucky that doesn’t forget the ones going on around it unlike in say act 2’s hyperfocusing of Cole and Nicole. A grand slam story that pays off its build up with a spectacular final level.
Then there's act 4. The confused and uncertain child of the lot. It’s plot jumping around yet not accomplishing literally any story development, repeating points that have already been made and forgetting the ones it introduces. Not only this but it fails to be what it sets up to be and even sidelines it’s own chapter with a sudden unprompted return to the hospital! So let us go step by step, level by level why act 4 falls behind all the rest.
4-1 & 4-1nNow these two levels are actually great, but understanding what makes them so good is important to understanding why the rest is so bad. 4-1 follows us just now getting on the train with Cole and Hailey and meeting Miner. We’re immediately thrown into action as Miner gets a heart attack on the spot, a classic western jig that is perfectly in keeping with the new held beats mechanic. Sets up the feel of the chapter to be a good ol’ western-esk adventure with a bit of a playful lightheartedness to it. 4-1n takes this up a notch by playing off the idea of western and how it was popularized in the 80’s with a midi jam and level literally called Roller Disco Rumble. The level design is also impeccable for both. 4-1 is purely focused on the held mechanic to warm you up to all its kinks and bits. 4-1n is a difficulty spike but in a good way. Teaching you how helds function with other beats (specifically SVT’s) in a difficult but not hard to understand way. Introducing the helds then the SVT’s then combining them during mid and end of the song. Both are wonderfully done introductions to helds for the rest of the act. Keep this in mind for later. 4-1 gets a 8/10 and 4-1n gets a 9/10
4-2 & 4-2n This is where the problems start rearing their ugly heads. 4-2’s story context is that there's a sandstorm and they’re all having a bad time about it. This is… Fine when it comes to a plot but serves zero plot progression in the chapter. By the end nothing has changed and nothing new was learned, merely serves as filler plot wise and makes for a somewhat forgettable story. Then there's the level itself. For what the gameplay is it’s good! Snappy patterns but somewhat reminiscent of 3-2N’s gameplay. The music works well enough but I could definitely not hum the song off the top of my head after spending a good 2 hours S ranking it and 4-2n. It is a bit strange why Samurai and Logan would be there of all people but from a gameplay point of view I completely understand. Overall, a serviceable but filler and forgettable level. Then there is 4-2n. A CRIME TO LEVELS!!!! 4-2n has the exact same song and plot as 4-2 which is already pretty bad considering both of those are middling at best, but now the plot makes less sense and the song is RUINED by WORSE gameplay!!!!!! Richard’s beat is fine and good for making the song harder but the bird? THE BIRD????? Crime. The bird follows none of the beats of the song, it’s frustrating to learn consistently and is more of a game of tying it to the other beats to know when to hit it. Then there’s an extension of the song and for what? So we can be tortured further by this feathered beast??? 4-2 is a 4/10 and 4-2n is a straight 1/10 4-3 & 4-3n Or as I like to call them- “Wait this is act 4? This feels like act 3!” suppose thats why its the third level but regardless- 4-3 is yet another filler story beat and somehow even worse than the last one. The point of act 4 as we were introduced to it in the pre-act cutscene was we were gonna get away from the hospital for a while and see what it was like outside! But nope! This level pulls you back to the hospital to deal with the birds and Mrs. Stevenson. At least with 4-2 we were still on the train. The music is good and the gameplay fun but that doesn’t excuse the fact that it takes you out of the experience of the train. It also straight up doesn’t have the helds anymore and if you think we will be seeing them again after this filler you are WRONG! There are more levels in act 4 WITHOUT helds then there are with helds. In the chapter that introduces them mind you. My general review of this level is basically identical to 4-3n. There's basically no difference between the levels other than Ian doesn’t take over some of the other lines for you. In isolation both these levels are fine and inoffensive but in context of this being a chapter about getting away from the hospital and containing all stuff that was important in the act prior to this this level would have just been better made the night level of 3-3. 4-3 & 4-3N both get a 4/10
4-4 “Wait, where's 4-4n?” I am splitting these levels apart because they’re extremely different from each other. Now then- 4-4 is basically just continuing the filler trend of no story happening and being pretty ill fitting to what the long forgotten original set up of this chapter was supposed to be. 4-4 follows Cole showing off some of his music to Hailey so she can send it to Logan later. (which is pretty passive aggressive but that's an essay for another day.) Nothing new is realized or discovered in this level, we already knew Hailey was longing for Logan and that Cole makes romantic and heartfelt music. Most you can say about this level is that it establishes Hailey and Cole as friends thanks to what Cole says after the level is completed. The music is again good and gameplay alright but still gets lost in the “This could have just been a act 2 level” fog. It is memorable thanks to it’s distinct song and vfx-es. Speaking of which- absolutely no offense to the vfx in this entire act! It’s fine enough and even really good on 4-1n and the last level. 4-4 gets a 6/10 4-4N This level gives me extremely conflicting feelings. Yes it repeats the same ideas as 4-4 but done with far more grace and introspection to the characters up to this point. Cole and Hailey are chatting again and she asks him about who he wants to play the guitar for. (Which also its kinda silly that she’s surprised he plays the guitar. He had to have carried on the guitar case to have it on the train, she was there during 2-1n, and according to 2-2n, Cole and Samurai blast their music playing throughout the entire hospital. ANywhays.) Cole is hesitant to answer and then we flip back to the hospital with Nicole and Logan. We get massive development with Nicole, her picking back up the guitar because of Cole and wondering if he’d like acoustic when she hasn’t really shown any obvious feelings back to him up until now. The song is also fantastic with great leitmotif call backs and being a calm night level to fizzle off. Despite all of this praise however… I can’t bring myself to ignore the fact that this level still probably shouldn’t have been here. If the rest of the levels had a focus on what the act was established to be about then I’d let this level slide but they’re not. It continues the issue of not using the established chapter mechanics, going over pre-established plot points we already know, and really not serving the already hurt story of this act. It is perfectly fine to have a level to develop side plots like 2-4n or 3-1n, the issue is when the rest of the act is failing to say anything. 4-4n is fantastic in isolation, probably the 2nd best of the act in isolation but this is a broad review of the whole act and I can’t ignore that. 4-4n gets a 7/10, 9/10 were it isolated from this. Intermission talk (not about any level) So this is the 8 levels we get for the act. Half fall under a 5/10 and there is a repeating issue that is found throughout this whole act. The writer's curse of filler plots. Filler in Rhythm Doctor is not something that can be indulged in much- maybe 1-2 filler levels in an act. The reason that filler can’t really be indulged in that much is just due to how all the acts get at most 9 levels, usually more like 7 or 8. As a result of the majority of act 4 being complete filler, the act doesn’t leave any impact. Act 1 I can let slide (somewhat. Maybe I might write an angry act 1 short essay) when it comes to not making an impact because it’s the first levels, we just need a basic foundation. Act 4 not so much seeing as the last two acts left far more of an impact. Also there is a notable lack of any act boss like every other act. “But what aboutttt 1-Xn???????” that don’t even got the 4 in it!!!! So let's get on with the final level of act 4. At least when you first play through the game.
1-Xn The second case of being very conflicted about a level in this act. Positives first; This is a brilliant way of getting back to the hospital and really getting across the impact Connectifa can cause. The level visuals I don’t even need to tell you are fantastic and letting Insomniac get more than a single appearance is nice. (#justiceforInsomandLucia) However this is where my praise has to end as much as I adore this level in isolation. No level is truly isolated from the rest of the game and the way this level fits into the rest of the story and flow of things is. Not great!!! First off 1-Xn has zero build up to it happening in the story, it just kinda does. This I can let go a little bit since it’s supposed to be a woah! Twist moment but it’s still not great. Then since this is acting as the boss of act 4, it really fumbles that. I harpped on at the start of this essay that 4-1 and 4-1n are fantastic set up to what's supposed to be happening but this is the ultimate showcase of act 4 not knowing what it wants to be. Why are we back at the hospital? We aren’t using the main mechanic we were introduced to at the start of the act and in fact have regressed back to act 1 mechanics purely. There’s no multiple rows, no SVT, not even skip beats, just the same 7 beat gameplay from the start. This drives me up the wall- I love you Insomniac but this should not have been the act 4 finale. Lastly there's the post stuff after the level is finished for the first time. I don’t know how to sum up my feelings on it much better than it feels hollow, forced and unnecessary. The info and story we get from it feels less like a payoff and more of a forced reminder that the doctors are appreciated and respected n that you are too. I think that's a good thing to say of course! But we already know this like a lot. 3-X was literally to get this point across, Miner thanked you on the train, Insomniac already thanked the doctors once and now he’s doing it again making him continuously flat as a character. Having Insomniac thank them again would be fine but the whole cast doing so is forced. HELL some of the character interactions that actually did give some development to others got CUT from the current version of the game. Things like Logan being scared of the dark n Hailey poking fun at that or Cole looking for a welcome back and just getting it from Samurai. It’s all just… such a fizzle to the end of what I guess is a mid game act. Worst part? Miner doesn’t even show up in his own act ending </3 Whew ok I had a lot more to say about 1-Xn then I thought I did and I feel too negative now so let’s move on to what to do now. —-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fixing Act 4 (The Wally Way) So what have we examined about act 4 up to here? Its; - Unsure to what it wants to be - Filler bloated - Fails to help the player master the helds and as an introduction to Miner - Somewhat forgettable SO let’s try and do a bit of a rewrite here shall we? Or I guess just me I don’t know why I keep saying we, I’m the one writing this. Anyyyyywho!
Story intro, 4-1, 4-1n I won’t be changing any of these, they’re perfect as is. A new 4-2 and 4-2n Now then the first of the rewrites, 4-2 I don’t believe the actual story itself needs to change for this one but I feel it be a good way to start introducing aspects of Miner we see in act 5 here! He’s a caring dude and loves to help out so why not have him help Hailey with not being spooked by the sandstorm before the level starts and maybe a little conversation after the level is done. 4-2n is where the first of the very big changes happens. Throw out the copy paste of the day version level and story and instead we have a level of Miner and Hailey star watching now that the sky is clear. We can still have the beat going on but instead it’s just Hailey and Miner’s- Instead the challenge comes in having an internal rhythm rather than visual as both their bars can’t be completely seen. It’s far more laid back then the hectic day in a sandstorm and focuses more on learning more about these two characters. What would we learn? Idk man I don’t wanna insert my own headcanons if they’re wrong, that's up to the devs to figure out. Unless they hire me /j 4-3 & 4-3n (aka throw it out) That's a nice level you got there. It shouldn’t be there tho. Live by the advice of kill your darlings and kill this level entirely to replace it with a new pair of levels that pays off the setup we were given in the act intro when Hailey said she needed to deliver some things. 4-3 rewrite follows Miner, Hailey and Cole all arriving at the actual town they were heading to and doing town things! In keeping with the silly but heartfelt set up of 4-1, Hailey wanders around town to do things and Miner has to save her from the many dangers of the wild west- cacti, heat, rock slips and snakes. If you want a backing SVT beat or even one in swing then Cole is busy off at another local cafe getting a coffee but having adverse effects because it’s a local brew he did not check the contents of before downing. A story end of Hailey’s ended and potential development for everyone on the train if they so choose to. 4-3n’s rewrite is the gang all done for the day but now stuck at the train station waiting for their train to arrive. Cole starts playing his keyboard bored and Miner n Hailey join in making a little jig! Clapping/stomping from Hailey, Whistling and then a harmonica for helds from Miner. Technically filler but it still gives development to this dynamic and a smooth inbetween to them heading back.
4-4 & 4-4n Now these levels I’m not actually going to be changing despite my critiques of them. I think they still work in this context- Maybe 4-4 could have a bit more focus that Hailey is getting these anxieties about Logan now that she’s heading back instead of just having them for no definitive reason then she does. 4-4n is still a great level. Maybe add a story reason why Miner isn’t around during this level- perhaps have him say he needs to go check on something and this could be setup for what I have next- 4-X (but for real this time) A final boss level where our chilling cruising state is suddenly thrown off the rails- and literally! I’m a bit indecisive about which I would go with but my two thoughts are both classic western train shenanigans: The train gets derailed somehow and the gang gotta deal with it and hold on. Alternatively, the train gets attacked by bandits and loonytoon-esk fighting ensues. Regardless of which you gotta treat them to make sure they also don’t have a heart attack from the stress. The three can all have their moments and can act as a proper ending to the 4th act. 1-Xn (wait what) We’re not leaving behind 1-Xn though! Seeing as this is still an important level to the story we’re not gonna ditch it. Instead now 4-X acts as a subtle cause to why Insomniac got so bad in this level. Ada got back right as boss level occurred so her, Ian and the intern were all hands on deck when it came to monitoring and treating Cole Hailey and Miner. Besides, if Edega found out they let their patients get injured on a non-approved adventure they’d have their jobs on the line! Unfortunately being hands on deck with the three outside, they ended up missing Insomniac having a Connectifa episode and it got worse. They were just calming down the train gang after the boss level when the power suddenly cut off and cut off the intern’s connection with the train gang. 1-Xn ensues as usual and the situation is handled. The post conversation instead has them all at first checking on Insomniac when the train gang is finally able to arrive at the hospital. Miner gets to be part of the end and properly transferred to his role in the next act as Lucky’s support. Cole and Hailey are able to get their welcome back conversations and they can all still thank the doctors but with a more justified reason now! You just took on boss levels back to back and before they could thank you for the first one they all got cut off. A much more impactful end to Act 4 while still keeping intact a majority of the already existing things set out.
Conclusion and Extra things n doodads So thats my essay on act 4, it kinda sucks and I sound pretty mental at some parts but that's the Wally brand for you! I really love what the rest of Rhythm Doctor has done so far and I know act 4 has potential if it was rewritten. I still hate that fucking bird tho. Uhh now some other stuff i didn’t know where to put: “What about 2-1n’s skips? That's a mechanic not built on like helds!” 1. It’s a night level and 2. It shows up only thrice so far in the entire game and you even get told to go play it if you haven’t yet during act 5. “This sounds like a lot of work to change it to this.” I am well aware. If someone doubts me on this then I can make all the backgrounds and animations myself. I’m no composer admittedly but I can write, sprite, concept and draw! “Wally what even prompted you to write 10 pages about an act you don’t like” I wrote an act 4 fic and got on a tangent about act 4 to Mochii n Jenn and how I'd change it so I decided I'd just go ahead and write it. Nothing better to do (lie he had much better things to be doing like SLEEPING IT'S 1 AM WHEN YOU’RE FINISHING THIS DUDE) And I think that's all? If anyone has any more questions of me then like. Shoot my tumblr with an ask or ping me oke doke? Wally signs off and probably gonna die inside if any dev actually reads this. Hi if you are… I’m more normal than this I swear…
#rhythm doctor#rhythm doctor miner#rhythm doctor writing#killing this act personally#also uhm apologies for lack of posts...#iv got stuff i just have been horribly under the weather and not great in the brain at all#lets hope i dont implode in 2 days (bday)
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Extending heartfelt apologies to anyone who happened to see my reposts of Clementine Morrigan's writings over the past few days.
As a messy, traumatized Harpy committed to honoring all peoples' baseline humanity regardless of what they've done --as well as someone whose lifelong CPTSD is sssllloooowwwllllyyy healing as I embrace personal accountability, avoid B&W thinking, and extend grace and compassion to myself and others-- I was taken in by a lot of what Morrigan says about encouraging non-punitive modalities. I reposted her words without learning how she herself is actively complicit in perpetuating ongoing harm to others in leftist and liberal spheres, especially as the popularity of her podcast FUCKING CANCELLED grows.
In retrospect, I see that I was moved by Morrigan's writings primarily because they're a clever, zinger-filled repackaging of more genuine and nuanced essays penned by others. Namely, by queer Black folks and other more sophisticated and culturally rooted voices.
When I posted Morrigan's stuff, I had no idea about her partner Jay Manicom's forceful silencing of several BIPOC peers and partners they'd allegedly abused and made no amends to. I didn't realize that Morrigan was publicly weaponizing abolitionist and twelve-step language in order to defend Manicom's alleged ongoing violence and harm. Said harm includes sending legal threats to several survivors, femme PoC, after they'd repeatedly asked him to join them in a circle to hash things out. When these folks spoke out about their experiences, both Manicom and Morrigan were quick to frighten, shame, and silence them. (Even while simultaneously decrying similar acts perpetrated against credibly alleged serial perpetrators! Try to make it make sense!)
Comparing "cancel culture" to the carceral state by using appropriated language and concepts that Black and Indigenous activists have been cultivating and nurturing for centuries is not an approach I want to lend any credibility to. It's DARVO. White femme DARVO. That's messed up.
When a popular, charismatic young white woman, a self-described "powerhouse" and "controversial public figure", goes so far as to compare survivors' requests for basic accountability and community-wide responsibility to "acting like a cop", there's some straight-up pastel Q-Anon dog whistle "Guru Jagat" horseshit goin' down.
Recently, I observed Morrigan on a panel with several other speakers, all healers from various lineages whom I admire and trust. I enjoyed their talks a lot. But in spite of my initial enthusiasm for Morrigan's breezy social media writings, as soon as she launched into her very polished, practiced lip service to radical compassion and acceptance, red flags started popping up for me. BIG Russell Brand energy. (And most of you already know how I feel about THAT righteous broheim. I've been roasting him years.)
Observing Morrigan's onscreen presentation, my curiosity died almost instantly. I won't say I was shocked by her performativity. I did experience rolling waves of nausea. Whether it's a fair assessment or not, I parsed her almost instantly as yet another cult-of-personality cultivator who is using hierarchical tactics to center the comfort and safety of active, unapologetic abusers ahead of everyone else. Not okay. She may have the best intentions in the world, but NO THANK YOU.
Morrigan's particular approach to justice is not what I'm about. If it were, I'd still be hanging out with a whole lot of sketchy af people I met in various green rooms over the years and making a whole lot more money while we all dance together around similar cognitive dissonance in our professional lives as celebrities, pundits, and "righteous" preachers. Again, no thank you.
I wanted to fast-forward through Morrigan's portion of the presentation, but gritted my teeth through it out of respect for the panel's curator. The wild thing is, on paper, I agree with *so much of what she says*! Still, something felt very, very off. So I went and read up further, and finally understood why my heart was sinking, my stomach, churning.
I wholeheartedly respect that the healers who invited Morrigan onto this panel have a different, more generous perception of her. I'm not making this post to demonize or dehumanize Morrigan, her partner, her friends, her listenership, or anyone else who leans into ye olde "hurt people hurt people" tenets in order to make sense of various horrors committed by them or to them.
However, the FUCKING CANCELLED fan club is most assuredly not something I want to give my time, energy, or trust to any more than I would Amanda Palmer's, or Rosie O'Donnell's, or Rose McGowan's, or Lena Dunham's, or Asia Argento's, etc.
My casual shares of Morrigan's work were a mistake. Consider this post a personal retraction. If there are further reparations I should consider, please let me know. Especially if you're a transformative justice buddy who has been quietly observing my promotions of her and feelin' barfy because of it!
Please, please know that I wouldn't have boosted her bandwidth so blithely, had I dug a bit deeper. I hope no one was too hurt or freaked out by my ignorant shares.
My apologies and my love. In solidarity. May all beings be free from suffering. Ashe.
#Clementine Morrigan#Jay Marquis-Manicom#Jay LeSoleil#transformative justice#abolition#anti-racist#FUCKING CANCELLED
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BioShock's Service Radio :)
So every now and then a girl asks: "Is the shortwave radio from BioShock based on a real model or is it just some kind of creative design"
Creative Director Ken Levine is a perfectionist, so sometimes it's worth it to ask questions like this. I'm writing a fanfic and I have to write about Jack manipulating the thing, so why not do it right?
So I went to my most technologically-minded friend and asked questions.
Dan What in-game radio are you referring to?
Watchword The shortwave radio you pick up at the very beginning of BioShock 1
Dan ? I can see why there are no real life analogues (Note: I was looking up shortwave radios on Ebay) it's more of a portable tape player than radio with the reels and reader heads out in the open, though I think in that era of technology, you would have either or in the real world, but not both.
Dan But then the antenna implies that it is capable of receiving radio signals And the name is service radio We'll just say it's one of those fictional advanced inventions the in-game universe has I think it's safe to say that you're not meant to scrutinize 100% of the production, looking for meaning and purpose in every detail, model, and texture There are certain things that are simply in the world to be there. Next thing you know, there's a 45-minute youtube video essay about the deeper meaning behind the Circus of Values (edited) what did Ken Levine mean by this
(Fuck you, dan)
(We last argued about how much story you could accurately ascertain from Elden Ring. He thinks people just make shit up. Anyway)
Dan I'm guessing there would need to be two buttons for the tape player, one to play and one to rewind Other than that, you would just need two dials, one for volume and one for radio frequency The model has 4 buttons and one dial, but it could still work 1 - power 2 - play 3 - rewind 4 - fast forward dial - frequency Maybe there is no volume control I don't know what the small button between the top reel and bulb is, but could be a dial as well
Watchword oh my god thank you so fucking much Do you think that might just be a screw or something like to hold the whole chassis together … or that's the button you press to broadcast since the stupid little thing is apparently a dictaphone on top of everything
Dan Broadcast, no There's no possible way that it is also a two-way radio But if it can also record audio, then it might be a record button, or one of the four up there is
Watchword Dude, bless u. In other words… THERE IS NO WAY Jack replies to Fontaine at any point. Everybody just talks at you and this is almost certainly BY DESIGN I feel like we've stumbled onto a design choice that expands the theme of the game that much more Why are you so certain it can't broadcast? Size? Necessary components?
Dan pretty much two-way radios of that era are huge
Watchword That tracks. The ones I've seen are like… in briefcases I saw one that was the size of a goddamn desk (but it was from the 40s)
Dan Voiceless protagonist by necessity
Watchword Explains why you can play all the audio diaries too. The dictaphones are symbols, you play the tape on your receiver Damn
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I'm fascinated by this bizarrely bad video essay
youtube
1. What is going on with this guy's delivery? It's like he's treating commas as periods and vice versa. Like the bit at 4:31, for example.
An unknown threat actor began working fast in secret to turn EternalBlue into a worm. A self-propagating virus engineered to traverse networks autonomously. Hunting for one vulnerable port in particular. This doorway, utilized by SMB. Stands for "Server Message Block". Needs to be version one. In specific. It's a transport protocol. Facilitates remote services, like printers and file sharing. More importantly, it's open to the internet. [...]
What's going on with all these sentences omitting their subjects? Why would you ever write like this? Why would would keep writing like that for another three paragraphs?
2. What on earth is this camera? Like seriously I'm getting straight up motion sick trying to watch this, does it ever stop zooming or panning? Does this guy even have an editor?
3. It's plagiarized! Of course it's plagiarized. Compare, for example, this section at 14:32--
Then, on a quiet Wednesday, after days of relentless partying and drinking, Marcus stepped out of the mansion to collect a McDonald's order from an Uber driver. That's when he spotted a black SUV. It reminded him of an FBI vehicle, but in his inebriated state he brushed off the suspicion and returned inside to continue his indulgences. Rolled another spliff of that fine legal Nevada weed. Ate his burger, and began packing for his return to the UK.
--to this excerpt from Wired's article "The Confessions of Marcus Hutchins, the Hacker Who Saved the Internet".
At around 7 am on a quiet Wednesday in August 2017, Marcus Hutchins walked out the front door of the Airbnb mansion in Las Vegas where he had been partying for the past week and a half. A gangly, 6'4", 23-year-old hacker with an explosion of blond-brown curls, Hutchins had emerged to retrieve his order of a Big Mac and fries from an Uber Eats deliveryman. But as he stood barefoot on the mansion's driveway wearing only a T-shirt and jeans, Hutchins noticed a black SUV parked on the street—one that looked very much like an FBI stakeout. He stared at the vehicle blankly, his mind still hazed from sleep deprivation and stoned from the legalized Nevada weed he'd been smoking all night. For a fleeting moment, he wondered: Is this finally it? But as soon as the thought surfaced, he dismissed it. The FBI would never be so obvious, he told himself. His feet had begun to scald on the griddle of the driveway. So he grabbed the McDonald's bag and headed back inside, through the mansion's courtyard, and into the pool house he'd been using as a bedroom. With the specter of the SUV fully exorcised from his mind, he rolled another spliff with the last of his weed, smoked it as he ate his burger, and then packed his bags for the airport, where he was scheduled for a first-class flight home to the UK.
I mean really, man? Come on. What are we even doing here?
Also: I'm straight up laughing my ass off at "Rolled another spliff of that legal Nevada weed." It's such a stupid (para)phrasing, it doesn't flow whatsoever, and it makes him sound like a forty year old school principle giving a D.A.R.E lecture. I love it.
Anyways, don't watch this video.
Unless you want a good giggle.
#But the Shadowbrokers didn't seem to be very good brokers at all because they never found a buyer.#So eight months later in a very uncommon twist they decided to post these exploits for free#another really great bit is at around three minutes#what do you mean “in a very uncommon twist”#why is it a twist they released the tools for free#you haven't told us why this would be a twist‚ Crumb!#its so obviously lifted from somewhere else#but i don't care enough to find it#maybe its the same wired article IDK#i didn't read it all the way through#my thoughts#plagiarism#Youtube
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Since I have never seen Hercules (Greek mythology nerd who watched for two minutes and proceeded to shut it off, download the script, and write a twelve-page essay on how inaccurate it was because it pissed me off that much,) here's what happened-
Hercules was born to a mortal woman named Alcmene, who was tricked into having sex with Zeus (aka raped by him) while he took the form of her husband. This resulted in Alcmene having twins, as she'd been pregnant for a few days before Zeus tricked her. The one fathered by her husband would be named Iphicles, and the one fathered by Zeus (not that they knew it,) was named Heracles. They already had a daughter, Laonome. She was two.
Heracles was raised alongside Iphicles and Laonome by their parents and Basilia, a nursemaid who was really Hera in disguise. You see, Zeus had boasted of tricking Alcmene and claimed that the son he had fathered would rule the house of Perseus. Hera, in her jealousy and rightful anger, held him to his promise and refused to let him out of it. When Zeus sent serpents to kill the boys, she was the one who saw it. Alcmene didn't see Heracles strangle the snakes with his bare hands, but Hera did. From then on, as she'd grown quite fond of Alcmene and her husband, she protected the children from Zeus's repeated murder attempts. She even got Artemis and Apollo in on it.
Zeus didn't want Heracles to fail his promise. He had promised that, by the time Heracles was twenty-nine, he would command the house of Perseus. Hoping to kill Heracles so he could never reach that age, Zeus infected his son with madness and made him kill his beloved wife, Megara, and his children. Asclepius, god of medicine and healing, managed to cure Heracles before he could fall irreversibly, but Heracles was stricken with grief and felt he deserved some form of punishment for what he had been forced to do. Megara's uncle, King Eurystheus, put Heracles into indentured servitude, saying Heracles would be absolved of his crime if he completed ten tasks. However, Eurystheus went back on his word and added two tasks.
The end of that is where Hades comes in.
All Hades knows is he woke up one morning and his whole dog was gone. The gates were unguarded and Cerberus was gone and he was tearing his hair out. In fact, he was so panicked and upset that his realm started to fall to disorder. Tartarus, without Hades maintaining his binds, used the chaos to begin to break free. Obviously this was supremely bad and Melineo was the only one actively trying to fix it. Hell is about to be unleashed and Hades can't cope because his service dog is gone.
Heracles brought the dog back after five days. Obviously Hades was extremely pissed about his dog being stolen, as were Persephone and Thanatos, and Hades was legit about to curse Heracles.
And then one of the binds broke. And Tartarus started to rise. Zeus came down and told Hades to fix this, but notably didn't do jack shit to help.
The battle raged for thirteen weeks. The gods of the Underworld scrambled to contain Tartarus, who had required all of the big three, and everyone was getting pissed at them.
"Maintain your realm, brother."
"Bitch how about YOU fight Tartarus without help from either of your brothers!"
So, the Titans are rising, monsters are flooding the world, and even Hades can't get control of this situation.
It took a lot of help. Dozens of minor gods and several major ones (Artemis, Apollo, Hestia, Hera, Athena, Ares, Dionysus, and Hermes,) plus a couple of Titans (Hades had to get his mom to help him,) fought an uphill battle using Stygian weapons to weaken Tartarus until Hades could fix the binds. The world very nearly ended, but it didn't.
Fast forward a couple centuries. Heracles and Hades made up, by the way.
The Great Awakening happens. Dozens of wicked souls are ripped out of the realm of Hades, doing unspeakable damage to the barrier between worlds. The worlds that were drawn together joined together and captured all of the villains. They obviously couldn't trust Hades to keep them there a second time- in Beast's mind, Hades pretty much let them out- so the Isle was created. Hades was put on it. When dozens of gods and a few titans protested because they kind of needed him, they got sent to the Isle, too.
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Tell me a secret, Brandy 👀
A secret? Hmmm...
So back in 2021 when I first started writing for Oscar Isaac I quickly moved over to Pedro Pascal as well - and like most of us queued up Narcos early on. It's a great show, but I wanted to know more about the background - the US Embassy that was the HQ for most of their work.
You see, Nonnie, I'm a West Cost girl. The US federal government exists to me as a vague thing over there where people wear suits with ties and sound like Aaron Sorkin. I wore jeans to my last three job interviews. This is obviously not my world.
But it interested me and down into the rabbit hole I went. Looking at both the past and present embassy staff and process. I discovered that it was called the Foreign Service - the diplomatic corps - and run by the State Department. I discovered that there were five different areas of interest you could apply in under and that the average time to get hired was about two years start to finish.
I discovered that the foreign service travelled the world. That they ran embassies, processed visas, reported on the host country, and maintained our diplomatic relations.
I discovered that there was a test to start the process and it was coming up fast.
This is mid-2021 by now and I was working as an attorney and I'm going to be frank with you Nonnie, I wasn't enjoying it.
youtube
So I took the test. I got a 192/200 and you also submit six essay questions which they look at if you pass (along with your resume) and then decide if they bring you in for the next phase.
I did not get invited to the next phase.
::disappointed face::
I went to a pretty dark place Nonnie, I have to admit. A bit of crying, some depression. But you know what? For the first time in my life I didn't give something up after failing at it once. I told myself I'd try again.
And I did.
In October 2022 I took the test again. I didn't do as well but I spent more time on my essays and narrowed my focus on my career track.
And I got invited to the assessment in DC.
The assessment is three parts: a group exercise, a memo, and a structured interview. I was an anxious mess leading up to it. I had three panic attacks. I nearly refused to get on the train to DC the day before (I always heard Maine was nice I could just go to Maine).
But I went.
And Nonnie?
I passed.
I still have to get both a security and medical clearance and my score is solid but not outstanding in terms of getting hired (higher scores will be hired before lower ones) but my chances are pretty good that this time next year I'll be a federal employee and on my way to serving abroad.
So that's my secret Nonnie. I chased a dream and it's coming true.
Foreign Service Office Selection Process
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Congrats on becoming a jew!
Out of curiosity, how long has the process taken you/ can you talk about the process for you as a whole?
thank you!!
the formal process has taken about a year and a half, but i also had about a year before that of individual reading and rumination on conversion and asking friends who had converted/were converting about it. also, i think it would have probably been a little longer but my rabbi is about to go on maternity leave for a year and we both agreed that i'm ready now. after going to a shabbat service at a bigger synagogue just to see how it felt, i asked around on a trans discord about trans friendly synagogues and was pointed to the one i go to now. i shot the rabbi an email to see if we could meet for coffee, and they answered all my questions about the conversion process and book recommendations and also like, questions about why bad things happen etc etc. the requirements for conversion for liberal judaism were that i take part in a year-long adult education course, live a year of the jewish calendar (as in actually taking part in a full year of holidays with the community and going to as many shabbat services as possible), continue meeting with the rabbi to talk about questions and also how i was feeling about the process, and write two essays for the beit din, one which reflected on what judaism means to me and one that was a research paper on any element of judaism i chose. i also found it helpful to try to read the weekly torah portion as often as i could and reflect on them and read other people's reflections on them, to keep a journal of my emotional journey and the experiences that i had with different holidays, and to read up on conversion and judaism in general (your bookshelves and to-read lists will fill up FAST if you start converting; i have so many books that i want but i havent even finished what i have). from here, it's just going to be meeting with the beit din (a panel of rabbis, essentially) next week and answering their questions about my journey, and then going to the mikveh, which is a small pool of water for ritual immersion and is the final step in conversion.
some other denominations of judaism may have other requirements (like wanting you to be further along with hebrew than i am, or the process being longer, or requiring a certain level of observance if you're going to be orthodox or conservative) and if you're a cis man you will have to either be circumcised or do hatafat dam brit, which is taking a drop of blood from where you were circumcised before.
if this is something you're really curious about, i would recommend starting off your readings with 'choosing a jewish life' by anita diamant. it gives a good overview of what to expect, and it's not a huge tome like 'essential judaism' or 'the honey and the sting', which are both chunky (but useful). i would also say that books are great, but finding a synagogue at which you feel at home is essential. you need a space that feels safe to be vulnerable, you need a rabbi who you feel comfortable asking difficult questions, and you need a community of people you enjoy. one of the folks at mine always (jokingly) says you cant be jewish in isolation, only when you're in community with other jews. you gotta find that community.
okay, i will shut up now cause this is long asjkdglsdkg. but if you ever have more questions about this, i'm an open book!
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Walkie Talkie
It’s Wednesday evening, about an hour of sun left, and I’m walking down to the old penthouse in Flatbush to retrieve my new apartment keys. It’s moments like these — walking, doing dishes, a 30 min break between meetings — that I’d call my Dad.
I can hear his excitement picking up the phone: Connor boy! We’d start with the weather. It’s a beautiful day here, I’d say. One of those days where the weather can’t quite decide what it wants to be, flitting between big blue sun and sudden gray with spastic rain.
I’d tell him I’ve been running more and that I think I’m gonna sign up for a marathon near Albany with the goal of qualifying for Boston. It’s a friendly qualifier, according to Google, and we have some friends nearby we could stay with. I’d tell him I saw Chris Hayes on my lunch run — he was walking his dog in his PJs on a work cal. I knew it was a work call because I knew when his editorial team met to discuss the evening lineup. And that’s not all. This was actually my second sighting of Hayes. The first being at a bar in Gowanus before I really worked in media. How rare to encounter the same celeb twice in the New York wilderness?
I’d tell him about bowling, though surely he would’ve called the following day to hear how we did in the playoffs. I’d regret to inform him we lost in the first round to a team of toxic old creepers. But I bowled well -- a 146 in the first game and then a 170 to close the season. I’d promise to send him the article about a Dallas bowler’s near-900 game, an almost unheard of string of three consecutive perfect games. In other words, 36 strikes in a row. A turkey to end all turkeys. The seventh extinction.
He’d probably feed me some essay idea and remind me how much he loves my writing and remind me I got my work ethic from Mom.
I’d tell him I won a hail mary bet, how it was a must-win otherwise I would’ve depleted all my FanDuel dollars, after which I promised to stop betting like I had been every week for the last two months and he’d say Oh yeahhh like the Kool Aid man (kool aid btw was invented in Nebraska). We both bet on Denver to repeat as champions so we’d prematurely discuss their first playoff game and what it portends for June.
I’d tell him no I haven’t spoken to Ethan recently but we both love you deeply.
Dad would hem and haw when asked what’s new with him. There never was much. Life was filtered through TV, current events, books, visitors and his window overlooking the parking lot with an American flag planted center stage. One of the nurses told me he offered up his grandpas flag honoring his WWII service to replace their tattered flag.
He’d surely ask what I was reading. New York 2140. I borrowed it from you. It was perfect you had it, because that’s exactly what I wanted to read after Vinson Cunningham’s debut novel Great Expectations. I read it flying into New York and saw how vulnerable the city was to a rising sea-levels. We landed in LaGuardia, which has its ass hanging out on the water. Tunneling through the East River to Manhattan I saw the ancient screws coated in dust holding the center fast against past and future.
It was a very New York book, too, with some interesting finance elements (liquidity, stoking then shorting the bubble, Ben Bernanke’s heroic levers). One of the main characters was a super, another was a degen finance bro. It indulged in geographic specificity, from street names to developed marshes, making several detours down local cul de sacs into forgotten pockets of history and waxing poetic about that famous New York energy.
It flagged a little 400 pages in, but the animating premise -- a resilient New York that adapted to a 50-foot surge in sea levels after the ice shelf collapsed -- was endlessly fascinating. Downtown was “intertidal” with skyscrapers partly submerged in water at high tide, while sky bridges criss-crossed overhead, and cloud communities circled above superscrapers hundreds of stories high. The author imagineered a SuperVenice and it was a beautiful triumph against the odds. You would like the cloud influencer who shepherded animals at risk in her blimp-ark.
He’d tell me about an interesting book review he read in the Washington Post and the book that would soon be delivered and of course the many others he had his eye on. You have plenty of reading material already. Read what you have! I’d normally say shaking my head. But this time I’d say those all sound great and I promise to take good care of them. I’ll read them all with you.
Inevitably we’d both get quiet. I was always perplexed why Dad got anxious during any conversation lull, but he did and would proceed to wrap things up. I took advantage of this sometime. But not today. Today I’d say don’t go, the words will come, just stay on the line.
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