#far cry the silver chronicles what if

[the-silver-chronicles]

Thinking about making a “What If” Far Cry 5/Far Cry The Silver Chronicles scenario where (in 1991) instead of Jacob Seed, Miller and the 82nd Airborne troops completely making their way to Iraq the “normal route”, some (dumbass) superior decides to take a detour to get to the Gulf War faster…

Only to be unfortunately flying over the archipelago’s ruled by the Congregation of Omar’s Guard, and get shot down.

And now Jacob, Miller and the surviving 82nd Airborne troops are being hunted down by Adam Omar’s enforcers, and they have to align themselves with the sinners down in the Mines.

Jacob may not eat a man this time but he sure as hell is stuck in a bad situation with oppressed people desperate of getting out and a fascist militarised cult planning on mass genocide on innocents.

Well, at least he’ll be there to be a pillar of support for Silva (when she eventually ends up down in the Mines), alongside Kamski (who Jacob’s probably vitriolic best buds with) and Paul (the oddball), as the girl grows up.

Just a wacky “what if” idea I might explore.

[simplegenius042]

WIP Moodboard/Wednesday, Last Line and First Picrew

Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton @inafieldofdaisies @aceghosts @imogenkol @cloudofbutterflies92 @cassietrn and @voidika

Tagging @josephseedismyfather @direwombat @noodlecupcakes @adelaidedrubman @raresvtm @derelictheretic @davrinsgriffons @shallow-gravy @strangefable @statichvm @carlosoliveiraa @g0dspeeed @wrathfulrook @starsandskies @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @alypink @shellibisshe @josephslittledeputy @skoll-sun-eater @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins @florbelles @minilev @justasmolbard @yokobai and @seedsplease + anyone else who want to join.

WIP Wednesday for my Unnamed FC5 Omegaverse WIP, Moodboard for my Doki Doki Literature Club WIP You Make My Heart Go Doki Doki Literature Club!, Last Lines for my Wednesday WIP Word Of Woe and a picrew of Silva during Christmas. Enjoy under the cut:

Another snippet for the FC5 Omegaverse WIP, with Silva trying to live her life in relative peace as a junior deputy and contributing member to society. And yet she can't even have that at a public barbecue when Eden's Gate crash it. Read below: [CW: Minor subtle discrimination in the context of Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, mostly towards Beta dynamics like Silva here (there's more in the full scene but here it's just like maybe once, or two if you count John ignoring Silva's obvious signs of 'leave me alone'. Also John harassing Silva, but what else is new]:

Silva really just wanted to fill up her plate with some nutritional food in peace and without an alpha poking his nose into her business for whatever reason.

She was unsure what his game was; could he be trying to determine if she was an omega? She understood that some omegas took a variation of suppressants that masked their scent as similar to betas, if only to deter certain alphas.

Although the suppressants were often effective, it didn't take much to discern the difference between an omega using suppressants and a regular beta. A beta's scent was far stronger than that of a suppressant's scent, though Silva guessed that wasn't common knowledge.

That or she had a better sense of smell than most betas. Which she didn't disqualify as an option.

"Invited by friends," Silva answered curtly, gesturing to where she saw her co-workers last, "Thought I'd socialize a bit."

His scent was throwing her off. Not because it was like an oregano herb, unlike the homely, comforting scent of basil and parsley that Paul had, but because he seemed familiar. Intrusive as well.

"Funny you should say that," the alpha, John, replied with a confident grin, "I've seen you avoiding more people than talking to them."

She glanced into his blue eyes; his smug glint irked her. She rolled her eyes as she replied, "That's because I'm done socializing."

She moved down, away from the alpha, and reached for the chicken ceasar salad to add to her plate; to compliment the chops that were already present. As she began topping it, her unwanted and persistent conversationalist filled the gap between them and asked, "So what is it you do around here?"

Silva's brows knitted together as she gave him an annoyed glance, stating, "I made it very clear I was done talking."

John chuckled, "No need to be so tart, my dear. Besides, I think you do want to talk."

Silva paused when she heard what he said; there was a tone within his words that rung sharply in her head, a growl that commanded obedience. To an omega, it'd be something to fear or respect; an effective deterrent towards refutes. To her though, it was something that grated at her nerves, like a man-child loudly demanding he get his way.

But it also sounded so damn familiar.

She looked at him with a burning glare that seemed to surprise him; like he hadn't prepared for his alpha voice to fail.

"I would be inclined to talk if I choose to," Silva asserted, adding, "And if you use that voice of yours on me again, you will regret it."

Despite the warning, John seemed more intrigued than anything else, putting on a friendly smile. Which bothered Silva immensely.

Her dissatisfaction only furthered when he replied, "My apologies. I wasn't too sure if you were actually a beta. I'm sure you're aware how omegas believe they have to hide themselves with your scents... a shame really."

Silva gazed at John with a stoic expression that contradicted with the bafflement she felt. One moment he was acting like a persistent sleaze and the next he's suddenly chummy with her after finding out that, yes, she is in fact, a beta.

She chose the last of her toppings for the chicken ceasar salad before walking away from him. Silva didn't grace him with a goodbye, just left him to fill up his plate.

However, in spite of this, he persisted in pestering her.

"Hold on now, you still haven't answered my question," he unhelpfully informed her as he followed after her.

Silva gripped the cutlery in her hand, repeating the mantra, It's illegal to kill a person without reasonable cause. It's illegal to kill a person without reasonable cause. It's illegal to kill-

It wasn't as helpful as she thought it would be.

[Silva to John, in some other AU probably: "In all timelines. In all possibilities. Only you... can show me how fucking annoying a person can be." If anyone understands this edited reference, I'll let you know I liked the season. Didn't love it, but it was still very good despite the high expectations]

Last Line for Word Of Woe, which is a WIP for Wednesday post-Season 1 set in the Life, Despair & Monsters series, where Wednesday Addams returns to Nevermore to unravel a new mystery; who the in the Nine Hells is bold enough to stalk her? Here she sees the introduction of Nevermore's new botany teacher:

When the teacher entered, Wednesday noted his appearance; he wore a dark blue suit that would have been better for a Gala than a school, with his dark hair and eyes, short stature, and the ridiculous Breton cap he adorned on his head didn't help her judgement of him. There was a skip in his step, with a jolly smile that sickened Wednesday.

He also held a cane in his hand, the handle like a bulbous doorknob. She wondered if he's ever caved in a skull with that.

However, her eyes narrowed when she realized something; she's seen him before. Earlier in the courtyard, playing what she presumed to be chess with a crowd of students around him and his opponent.

Moodboard for You Make My Heart Go Doki Doki Literature Club! is a WIP for DDLC, where Monika and her friends find themselves in the real world, with only Monika able to remember the things she did while in the game, and as a result the guilt too. She also gets used to actually living and while she does want to do just that, she can't help but notice a few... contradictions to her new reality.

And below is the first ever picrew of Silva Omar. It... certainly is a close encapsulation of how I picture Silva (second to her faceclaim Mina El Hammani). Although she usually has her hair done up in one braid tail that stays behind her. But this is as close as I could get to her hair undone. Here she is attempting to commit to the Christmas joy. Could either be celebrating at Elsa's lodge (which would explain the undone hair (plus the sweater) as Silva didn't do up her hair until after Persephone's death...) or at a co-workers home or something akin to that for a party (which would explain the false joy and tired look as Silva is generally like that because of her insomnia and night terrors plus putting up a front to hide her grief for this particular month... though post-Persephone's death, Silva would be spending her time alone at her residence because, well, this is the month her sister die and Christmas is literally Elsa's birthday so...). Anyway image below:

[the-silver-chronicles]

@socially-awkward-skeleton @adelaidedrubman @shallow-gravy @strangefable @direwombat @inafieldofdaisies @g0dspeeed @chazz-anova @cassietrn @voidika @poisonedtruth @derelictheretic @jillvalentinesday @wrathfulrook @josephslittledeputy @josephseedismyfather @vampireninjabunnies-blog @snake-in-the-garden @a-rose-in-a-garden-of-weeds @henbased @alwayssunnyinedensgate and @gaeadene

Made a decision and went "screw it" and now I have made a oneshot fic for the above prompts that the marvelous @creativepromptsforwriting has made for September on Archive of Our Own. And it was all thanks to the lovely people tagged above who had inspired and encouraged me to continue to create through kind words and their interest. All of you are such incredible people and authors. I'm so glad I have come across your fics and content, because I had learnt a lot from you all.

I will be publishing chapters throughout the 30 days of September for my first installment into my Far Cry The Silver Chronicles universe and my first major contribution(?) to the Far Cry 5 fandom.

Chapter 1 "Coffee Smell" will be published tomorrow. Hurray for me!

Link below to fic below.

(P.S I've left the question mark there because I can't think of a better word other than contribution)

September Prompts 🌻

Word prompts to use for doodling or writing

coffee smell

horizon

foggy mornings

juke box

lighthouse

bonfire

recipe book

windmill

gas station

wildflowers

bookmark

cave explorations

rosebushes

pine cones

nightlight

rocking chair

hitchhiking

lemon tree

vintage dress

bike ride

art museum

ghost town

blackberries

harvest moon

picture frames

dreamers

flower garland

ring bearer

color change

nightgown

[direwombat]

tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton on yet another wonderful wipsday~!

if there's one thing about me, it's that i like to explore the brother dynamic between the seed boys and katc is no exception <3

Edited to fix the a factual error. A massive thank you to @the-silver-chronicles for catching that jacob fought in iraq and not afghanistan (as i had mistakenly written 💀)

“So, the Cleansing,” Jacob says, pointedly changing the subject. “How’d that go?”

[Joseph] sighs heavily and crosses his arms, leaning his hip against Jacob’s desk. “John nearly drowned the Deputy and she nearly scratched his eyes out.” 

Jacob snorts. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

A fond, yet knowing smile graces Joseph’s lips. He nods, but it quickly grows melancholy. “I worry about him,” he confides. 

“He’s your little brother, Joe, it comes with the territory,” Jacob shrugs. 

“Maybe,” he hums, and he lapses into a brief, but thoughtful silence. Then, his brow creases and a realization flashes in his eyes. He looks to Jacob, cocking his head to the side. “You worry about me,” he smiles. 

Jacob leans back in his seat and crosses his arms. With raised brows, he regards his brother with detached incredulity. “Every damn day since you were born,” he grunts. It didn’t matter how much they bickered or how badly Jacob had wanted to stick Joe in a cardboard box and sell him for the price of an ice cream. At the end of the day, it was Jacob comforting baby Joseph when he couldn’t stop crying of colic. It was Jacob who stepped up to take the blame whenever the Old Man got pissed off. It was Jacob who set the barn ablaze just to get them away from that damn foster family. 

There hasn’t been a single day where the health and safety of his brothers hasn’t crossed Jacob’s mind. Especially after they were separated. Juvie, Iraq, wandering the streets of Rome with just a duffel bag and the clothes on his back, it was the dream of finding his brothers again that kept him putting one foot in front of the other, even when it would’ve been easier to fall back into his grave. 

Of course he worries about Joseph. And John. 

Hell, he even worries about Faith. 

They’re all he has left. He’ll do anything to keep them safe. 

But that isn't what this conversation is about. 

He scrubs his hand over his face and sighs. “Look,” he starts, “John didn’t really know you before you found him in Atlanta. He didn’t have the chance to outgrow the big brother worship, so you’re getting it now. He wants to impress you. Make you proud.”

“I am proud of him,” Joseph counters. “He’s come a long way from John Duncan.” He spits John’s former surname like it physically hurts him to say it. Whether it’s disdain for the hedonistic habits their brother used to entertain or contempt for the people who turned him into such a beast, Jacob can’t be sure. Maybe both. Maybe neither. Not that it should matter anymore. John is a Seed. He’s their brother. 

“Have you told him that?” Jacob asks. 

Joseph opens his mouth to speak, but he hesitates. “No,” he says eventually. “No, I suppose I haven’t” 

“Might be a good place to start.” 

Joseph nods, but the slight downward tug of his lips belies the gesture. “I just…I worry about his behavior. It’s been getting more erratic. Did you know he killed one of our flock last night? After we lost the Deputy?” 

Jacob lifts a shoulder in a half shrug. He hadn’t been aware of that particular homicide, but does remember the first time John had called him panicking because he’d wrapped his hands around Lana's throat and didn’t stop squeezing until it was far too late. He’d helped him dispose of the body and kept things quiet. As far as anyone is concerned the former Faith's death had been purely accidental -- just an unfortunate misstep that sent her plummeting down Horn Serpent Cave.  

But Joseph is right. John’s behavior is impulsive at best and dangerously erratic at worst. Jacob desperately wishes he knew how to fix it, but short of a fucking time machine, he’s not sure there’s much he can do. For better or worse they’re the culmination of others’ failures, and they’ve all had to grapple with that in their own ways. Joseph found his Faith. Jacob found Purpose. And John, much like the toddler Jacob remembers leaving behind, will do anything for attention and affection. Even if that means hurting and killing anyone he thinks stands in the way of him achieving those things.

“Ever think he might feel threatened by your flock?” Jacob asks. 

The look of utter shock that crosses Joseph’s face gives Jacob his answer. “What?” 

“You and I had more time to get to know each other,” he says simply. “John didn’t. He’s more like the rest of your followers than I am. He knows The Father more than he knows Joseph. He wants your attention and knows that zeal and devotion are ways to get it.”

“I suppose I’m not very good at this whole big brother thing,” Joseph sighs. 

“Nah, you’re just out of practice.”

Joseph lifts his thumb to his mouth and chews at the corner of his nail -- a childhood habit that’s persisted despite the lemon juice and clear nail polish their mother had used to dissuade him from it. “What do you suggest I do?” he asks after a long moment. 

“Christ, Joe,” Jacob breathes, and he mutters a quiet sorry when his brother shoots him a harsh look for his language. “Just…” He sighs. “Just listen to him, okay? And don’t patronize him. Despite our memories of him, he isn’t two anymore. He’s a grown man. Treat him like one. You trusted him with the Valley for a reason. Let him prove to you that he can handle it and try not to get in his way. The training wheels are long overdue to come off.” 

A gentle smile creeps across Joseph’s face. “I should be so lucky that God has blessed me with such a wise older brother.” 

Jacob’s eyes are rolling before he can stop himself. “None of that leaves this room,” he says gruffly. “Now, speaking of younger brothers, did you want to see the Deputy’s or not?”

Tagging the beloveds @wrathfulrook, @harmonyowl, @ivymarquis, @carlosoliveiraa, @cassietrn, @poetikat, @confidentandgood, @strafethesesinners, @trench-rot, @miyabilicious, @simplegenius042, @g0dspeeed, @inafieldofdaisies, @josephslittledeputy, @aceghosts, @adelaidedrubman, @madparadoxum, @voidika, @strangefable, and anyone else with something they want to share today! (taglist opt in/out)

[eternallibrary]

Officer Log 3 - Clarence Clayden.

Name: Clarence Clayden Callsign: Zero. Birthplace: [ Information Forbidden ] DOB: [ Information Forbidden ] Height: 184 cm

Maintenance Protocol: Subject refuses any and all maintenance, even the mandatory checkups we usually require for things like the common cold. During times like these after 3 days of inactivity, a message is to be sent to the officers of the branches under him indicating that he has taken a sick leave and is isolating himself.

Even as he is so smart as to pick up many things quickly, appealing to common sense and logic in these topics is fruitless. No further meddling is to be done unless someone decides to act more mature than a toddler avoiding a vaccine.

Personal Notes.

Zero is an interesting case. I’m somewhat annoyed, but due to the terms of our agreement I cannot add anything accurate to his official document. Is it paranoia? Is it because he wouldn’t bother with such a thing anyway?

Or is it because detailed chronicling of a life is only reserved for those who would be missed?

He probably assumes he won’t be. As it stands to him, he already is a dead man walking. He has accomplished what he set out to do, and is just waiting until I collect his dues.

Indeed, he must see me as the Mephistopheles to his Faust.

And I suppose I am. But as he sees me as someone who is loathsome, I can say the same for him. Our virtues and our sins are intertwined. And when I destroy him, something I love will be destroyed in turn. So, I am writing this as a testament to scar the rest of time. So the stars, and the broken path I walk on will know I had another half. And they will know I miss him dearly.

He was so fragile when we met, and it was so long ago I’m not even sure if the stars that surrounded us have still been burning. A young man with a fire in his eyes, bright, brilliant. He alone stood as a shining beacon in the immense darkness of ‘me’.

He was battered, worn, and his shoulders hung with the weight of everything he placed on himself. He went on a knee, offering his very life to me. I have seen him. Clarence Clayden was a man that had suffered immensely before this very moment.

His kindness spelled the death sentence of his men. His wits and strength of will were no match against opponents far greater and crueler than he. As he had been reminded again, and again, and again. While he was untouched, he still felt the heaviness of blood on his hands.

All of his splendor of will shown before me was the final rallying cry of his spirit before it plunged into the bottomless pit of despair.

Most people would call this the hand of fate. But it was simply what I had to do. I would be betraying an echo of myself if I did not. I have suffered, I have failed. And I do not want someone to experience the same if I could help it.

As nothing in this world is kind, I asked him to make good on his oath.

He would achieve what he desired, at the cost of his own blood, at the cost of his own humanity. He would achieve the world he promised his family. Without endless strife or conflict. Without a single child who knows what ‘cruelty’ even is.

Just as the dawn comes, just as the sun will set, he agreed. Of course he would. He didn’t, doesn’t, and won’t ever know better. He races to such kindness for other’s sake like a moth to a flame.

I feel like I should thank him to an extent. I managed to do something good with myself under him. Building the concept of ‘Alterna’ away from the destruction that ravaged the rest of the universe. He got what he was looking for.

But I still worry about him.

That’s why I even thought this was worth writing about, right? This sort of single-mindedness will just lead him to destruction. If not to my hands, then to his.

If it were up to me, I’d find a way to stop or prolong the inevitable. Someone who is as kind as he is does not deserve to stretch himself until the point of breaking. He does not deserve to have the fate he has handed himself on a silver platter. For he is a good person, having made sure of the prosperity of many eons to come.

I’m so sure I’ll be the one turning against him because of this.

While he is kind, while he is good, I am his pure antithesis.

A beast led only by instinct, choosing to assist him on a whim. Led only by its own selfishness.

I’m saving some pain by mourning ahead of time, really. Because when our goals become too incompatible to match, I will be there to demolish everything he has worked for. This shining city on a hill we live on, the lives he has saved. It will turn to ash, and it is going to be my fault.

Because I don’t think I’ll ever accept what he’s done to create it. He holds his own guilt at a distance, willing himself to close off his heart and complaints. Closing his eyes at the blood he’s spilled ‘for the sake of everyone’. Then deleting all those safe delusions and letting himself suffer in repentance. Night, after night, after night.

He’s selfish for letting me hear that. Just as I am selfish with my wish for him.

Foolishly, callously, the one thing I desire is to see him sincerely happy.

I will be kept quiet until I find a day to ensure that.

And when the day comes, I will let myself drown in ‘bliss’ as he and I die.

[aardvark-123]

~The Silver-Heart Chronicles Part 5: From Dawnstar With Grudging Tolerance~

Yngvar was moving to the coastal city of Dawnstar. Adelaisa was also moving to Dawnstar. Sharing a boat seemed better than paying two fares, so Yngvar sat on his worries, enjoyed the cool, salty breeze and the cries of the seagulls as Gor rowed them along the coast. They'd be going their separate ways soon; no more getting dragged into adventures against his will.

"Well, did you enjoy the trip?" Yngvar asked as he clambered out of the boat.

"It's a far cry from the boats I'm used to, but it was smooth sailing. Thank you for taking us, Captain," said Adelaisa, smiling at Gor.

Gor went bright red. He'd never been called a captain before.

"I think I'll go and see what's on in town," declared Yngvar. "You have your horker meat imports to think about, right, Adelaisa? In that case, I won't hold you up. Goodbye!"

"Goodbye, Windhelm!" Adelaisa waved southeast and followed Yngvar into the city.

Delighted to be free of her at last, Yngvar skipped down the snowy roads and planky walkways that ran through Dawnstar. Step one would be to find the inn, of course, and step two to find out if anyone was handing out free sweetrolls. Step three would be to look for work. He'd never reached step four before, but the catnip and the netch leather helmet stayed in his bag for when the moment came.

Step one was easy. The Windpeak Inn was right on the eastern slopes. Step two turned up nothing as usual. Then came step three, and Yngvar's heart sank when he realised that the city was home to two mines.

"Oh... Iron-Breaker Mine, you say? What's wrong with them?" Yngvar asked.

"What ISN'T wrong with them?!" snapped Leigelf. "The owner's a coward! A selfish, snivelling, arrogant, lowly little harpy who doesn't know what's good for her, wouldn't know what to do if Zenithar handed her a mountain of septims! All the dregs of Dawnstar come to work for her and none of them deserve any better! Anyway, I'll pay you handsomely for any quicksilver you can dig up."

It wasn't exactly the culmination of a lifelong dream, but being paid handsomely sounded good for his first afternoon in Dawnstar. The stout, bare-chested miner certainly did not influence him in the slightest. So Yngvar readied the pickaxe he'd borrowed from Narzulbur and ventured inside.

"Are you having fun? Your elbow action looks a bit off-centre," said Adelaisa.

"Aaaaaargh!" screamed Yngvar, dropping his pickaxe on his foot. "Ow! Wh-what are you doing here?! I th-thought you were- were doing your business deal with the horkers and the, with the Dawnstar and things! Why are you following me?!"

"Well, it's only my first day in the city," Adelaisa explained. "I'm not sure who to contact about horker meat. When we're together, though, something interesting always seems to happen before too long."

"Gods give me strength," groaned Yngvar.

Yngvar left Quicksilver Mine tired and a little richer. Adelaisa abandoned the snowman she'd been making and ran after him. Dawnstar was a quiet city, and it wasn't long before they found some workers talking outside another mine.

"Horkers, you say?" Yngvar said innocently. "Why, what's the problem with Quicksilver mine? The horker foreman had nothing but kind words for the rest of Dawnstar's mineral economy."

Adelaisa sighed wistfully. "If they actually had horkers down there, I'd be ahead of the game..."

Beitild looked at Yngvar. Then she looked at Adelaisa. Then she looked at Yngvar again. "Did you two walk out of a Riekling nursery? No, don't answer that. I don't care."

"Quicksilver Mine is no more than a selfish fathead's pipe dream! The owner doesn't care about anything other than taking big, stupid risks for big, stupid profits, doesn't matter what we could have- What he stands to lose." Beitild sighed. "Quicksilver sells better than iron, he says. Well, who'd choose a shiny lump of quicksilver over good, solid iron?! Anyway, I'll pay for any iron you dig up, if you're interested."

Yngvar raised his eyebrows. "Well, as a matter of fact, I was thinking about getting some mining practice in today... Want to prospect for horkers, Adelaisa?"

"Don't patronise me!" Adelaisa shoved him and folded her arms. "I'm well aware that horkers make their burrows in the sand. What I need is a business partner who's selling the meat."

"Feel like helping?" Yngvar grunted as he excavated a seam of iron.

"No, I need to save my strength. I'm going to try digging for horkers on the beach tomorrow."

While Adelaisa went shopping for a spade, Yngvar ordered them some foot and a couple of beds in the Windpeak Inn. "As far away from each other as possible, please," he requested. "In different buildings would be fine."

Thoring, the innkeeper, sighed and shook his head. "I don't know what you and your wife have been arguing about, but trust me, pushing her away won't make your lives any better. You have to talk and learn to make compromises, even if it means swallowing some of your pride."

Yngvar blinked slowly. "Er, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, do you want to end up like Beitild and Leigelf?! They used to be so close until this mining thing came between them. They couldn't agree on whether to buy one of the mines east of the bay, or sell it, I'm not sure, but the feud consumed them like a fire! And now it's like they're sworn enemies."

"But I'm not married to Adelaisa," Yngvar said in a small voice.

"Now, I know what I'm talking about." Thoring sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I used to be married, you know. And sure, we argued sometimes, but now I just miss her... For the gods' sakes, don't let that happen to you and Adelaisa while you're both still alive!"

"You heard me say Adelaisa's name but not the part where we aren't actually married?!" Yngvar grabbed Thoring by the shoulders. "Stop hearing only what you want to hear! Shor gave you two ears, so use-"

"What are you doing?! Leave him alone!" A ginger-haired woman came running over with a lute. She bashed Yngvar over the head with her instrument and, leaving him dazed on the floor, pulled Thoring into her arms.

"I know it hurts, Father. I miss her too, every day," the bard said softly. "But some people are... Well, relationships can be sore for them. And I know it isn't right, I know it isn't fair when a couple can't even sleep side by side-"

"You don't know!" Thoring pushed her away. "He doesn't know what he and Adelaisa, over there with the spade, have! People never realise what matters until they lose it..." He slumped down on the counter with his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Karita, I... I know you're trying to help."

"How do you know that's Adelaisa and not some other woman with a shovel?! How do you know what she looks like?!" demanded Yngvar, gesturing to a confused Adelaisa standing in the doorway with her metal digging implement.

"Don't try and change the subject," Karita said severely. "Do you need me to take over for tonight, Father? It's all right if you don't feel up to working."

"I'll be fine. But... Maybe I do need to rest for a bit," sighed Thoring. "This gentleman was just ordering a couple of beds for the night... Separate ones for him and his wife."

"Oh. Don't worry, I'll take care of it." Karita turned to Yngvar. "Sooooo, you and Adelaisa fell out. I'm sorry to hear it, but you can't always make everything the innkeeper's problem!"

"Does no-one in Skyrim listen to anyone but themselves?!" scoffed Yngvar. "The sheer pig-headedness! It beggars belief."

Karita pursed her lips. "Whatever you think of your wife, don't cause any more trouble in our inn. I have a trombone. As long as that's understood, it's twenty gold, and I think you paid for the food already..."

"What's this about Yngvar's wife?" asked Adelaisa, wandering over with her spade on her shoulder. Yngvar put his head in his hands and silently cursed the Divines.

"Oh, er..." Karita looked sheepish. "I heard that the two of you fell out earlier. I was just telling your... Just telling Yngvar to mind his behaviour in the inn."

Adelaisa blinked. "It was hardly a falling-out! We were just at cross-purposes over horkers. Although I will admit I lost my temper a bit back there." Her expression softened. "I didn't hurt your feelings, did I, Yngvar? It's just that you sounded like you were treating me like an idiot, and that's... I know you didn't mean it."

"Do you?" Yngvar laughed shakily. "I'm glad! Because horkers don't burrow! They live out on the beaches."

"Are you sure?" said Adelaisa, her brow furrowing. "That sounds more like mudcrabs to me."

"Very sure! Everybody from the north knows what a horker looks like," scoffed Yngvar. "And where they sleep." His look softened. "But you aren't from the north, are you?"

Adelaisa shook her head. "I'm from Applewatch originally."

"Maybe I was being unfair," Yngvar said quietly. "If you haven't seen a horker, much less hunted one for its meat... How would you know?"

"That's exactly the problem," said Adelaisa. "I haven't been in Skyrim for long. After Japhet's Folly, they decided to give me another big assignment up here, but getting into the horker business isn't going to be an easy egg to crack."

"I should imagine not." Yngvar considered for a moment whether he really wanted to encourage her, and there could only be one answer. He smiled and patted her on the shoulder. "But you've cracked some fearsome eggs before, haven't you, Vendicci? You'll crack this one in time. I know you will."

Adelaisa's whole face brightened. "You know what? You're absolutely right! I am a good soldier slash businesswoman, and an egg can only take so many taps from a spoon. I'll sort this out soon enough."

"So..." Karita cleared her throat. "If there's nothing else you need, I've given you the double bed up there on the right. There are a couple of end tables which fit nicely in front of the door if you need some privacy."

Karita's voice dropped to a whisper. "And if you do need something- a potion of fortify stamina, say, or a netch leather helmet- we might be able to arrange that. Just try not to destroy the bed."

"I'm sleeping outside," declared Yngvar, pushing past Adelaisa and out towards the door. "Good night, everyone! See you tomorrow!"

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I saw a video in my youtube recs that was just someone sharing their Sonic hot takes or whatever, and tbh I’ve lowkey come to not really like that sort of stuff because it’s kinda just being deliberately incendiary for the hell of it, buuuuuuut it sounded kinda fun so I thought I’d try post my own Sonic hot takes here.

But then I realised that I kinda, don’t really have very many? Thing is the Sonic fandom is already so huge and encompasses so many different types of people with strongly differing opinions to where like, does anything really count as a hot take? Going against consensus doesn’t really count for much if there are already tons of people against consensus as well, right?

Still, I was able to come up with some ideas. Probably my main one is just thinking Sonic Chronicles is fairly fun. Won’t defend the writing or the music or the presentation, but in what I played of the game (I’d like to get back to it!) I did just actually find the core gameplay itself solid. I’m aware there’s a moment later on where you split your entire playable roster into 2 separate parties and I’m particularly looking forward to that, because hey that’s got consequences and actual decision-making involved, you know?

Another one I managed to come up with was that, there are so many fan AUs and stuff that are so far removed from the original series that when I see them I wonder what the people making them even like about the series such that they’re making these AUs. Probably my least favourite is any version of the series in which the characters are all adults now and just every single character opens their own mom and pop business or whatever. Capitalism sucks why would you wish that on Cream the Rabbit dude. But I can’t really bring myself to feel strongly about this one necessarily because I don’t actually know the people making these AUs and I don’t think it’s really my place to question what they get out of the series or their own creative outlets - like what good is there in yucking their yum, you know?

Buuuuuuuuuut then I realised that oh yeah, I do have one actual hot take lol. And it’s one I don’t really shut up about much either. And it’s just that Mephiles the Dark is an absolutely fucking atrocious villain dude! I can’t stand him! I don’t get why anyone likes him or is actually fucking convinced of his bullshit! He’s just so pathetically ineffectual! Spends the entire game trying to manipulate Shadow for no fucking reason and to absolutely no avail so what was even the point? “Successfully” manipulates Silver (congrats dude you’re the second living person he’s ever interacted with) but just to the end of making him kill Sonic which is something Mephiles could do himself, so he’s just wasting time? For that matter “oh he’s the only villain who killed Sonic” yeah by shooting him in the back! Wow a real impressive feat that one! All of this to fuse with Iblis because uh, evil, I guess. But oh by the way even though Mephiles can TIME TRAVEL AT WILL he doesn’t fuse with Iblis in the past or the future and he doesn’t also just kill Elise himself and fuse with Iblis that way? There’s so much bullshit headcanon you have to make up to justify any of Mephiles’ actions and even then he still falls apart at the slightest hint of scrutiny. Best case scenario is he can’t fuse with Iblis unless it’s released from Elise specifically by crying - like he can’t fuse with the presumed monster Iblis that’s there in the future and that let’s assume is released by Elise just straight up dying. Fine, okay, Mephiles has to make Elise cry for his plans to work. So once again why the fuck is he wasting time on Shadow and Silver? He doesn’t get anything from doing so! The only justification anyone has is “lul he’s sadistic why wouldn’t he do that” but that’s just an answer they came up with to justify why Mephiles is wasting his time and effort on nothing! He’s framed as this master manipulator, the god of gaslighting by his fans but none of that exists in the text or the subtext or the metatext or anything of the sort! It’s just desperation to pretend a worthless non-presence like Mephiles ever mattered! Why does anyone want to see this pathetic excuse of a character ever again? Bro’s a canon Shadow recolour and he’s the “best villain in the series” yeah okay dude.

Uhm, yeah. There’s my Sonic hot take lol.

[flyoverkushtaka]

Pigs, they tend to wiggle when they walk* The infrastructure rots And the owners hate the jocks** With their agents and their dates If the signatures are checked You'll just have to wait! And we're counting up the instants that we save Tired nation so depraved From the cheap seats, see us Wave to the camera It took a giant ramrod To raze the demon settlement*** But high-ho, Silver, ride High-ho, Silver, ride Take another ride to see me home Listen to me I'm on the stereo, stereo, oh My baby, baby, baby, baby, babe Gave me malaria, hysteria**** What about the voice of Geddy Lee How did it get so high? I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?***** I know him, and he does! And you're my fact-checkin' cuz (Aww)****** Well, focus on the quasar in the mist The Kaiser has a cyst And I'm a blank want list The qualms you have and if they stick They will drown you in a crick In the neck of a woods******* That was populated by Tired nation on the fly Everybody knows advice That was given out for free******** Lots of details to discern Lots of details But high-ho, Silver, ride High-ho, Silver, ride********* Takes another ride to make me Oh, get off the air I'm on the stereo, stereo, oh My baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, babe Gave me malaria, hysteria**********

*While on a run this morning, I motivated myself by imagining all the hateful things I sometimes want to say to clients at work. I never realized how abjectly pathetic poverty can make a person. Miserable, yes, short-sighted, of course, but this execrable and stupid and mean-spirited? My leftist worldviews took a huge blow as they scraped against my ego in order to save my psyche from despair. Fortunately I'll be leaving this god-sucking state soon for septentrional climes to study Mississippian archaeology and Jesuit chroniclers, which is really more my dharma than administering to the wretched of the Earth in their learned helplessness. I'm a risible socialist but I'll make an excellent shitlib, by golly.

**Before my run this morning I went out for a coffee and a snack. In the bathroom of the coffeeshop I checked my hair in the mirror and instinctively did a bicep flex with my left arm. I grinned at my progress. I suddenly remembered that my first brush at the whole jock cosplay thing was in college at a birthday party: The birthday boy insisted that everyone dress up as a Pokémon ("Gen I only" he declared, very serious). I chose Slowbro, and made it a fratty look with a pink polo and a backward baseball cap from a thrift shop in Little Five Points. It didn't leave much of an impression on me, but it was a fun time (one guy went so far as to paint his entire body blue to imitate Poliwrath). Anyway my bis are coming along nicely, just need to get some more protein in me and push past this current plateau, bro.

***I can't imagine what Malkmus meant by this ; - )

****I've never had an STD in my life despite all the sex I have. Makes me feel invincible. Don't even know why I'm taking Prep, which gave me a tummyache the first week. To assuage the fears of those who remember other times, I suppose. There's a good or at least thought-provoking essay I read once about Dahmer and the AIDS crisis. Another time.

*****For the longest time as a teenager I kept my voice artificially high, speaking in an odd falsetto because I was so afraid of growing up. I remember as a young child crying after I asked my father why his chest was so hairy and he said it was because he was a man, and I would be hairy like a gorilla some day too. Life is full of funny ironies. I dropped the charade after I ditched school one day to have sex with some guy with a pet wolfdog and got caught because my friend forgot that I wasn't going to give her a ride that day and so she called my house to ask if I was alright. Imagine the Twin Peaks theme playing when the school told my mother over the phone that I never came in that day. He lived way out in the woods so my phone didn't have any reception either.

******RIP Liza. I wish I had done more to help you. Sorry. My mother said you were a bad person because she was abused by her first husband. Apparently he's from the city I'm moving to. The more I learn about my family history, the more skeptical I become.

*******Is there a name for this poetic device? If not, let's make one up. Something Greek.

********Many of the older men I fuck keep giving me various kinds of unsolicited advice with various levels of seriousness. I think they think it's their duty. (Not in the Kantian sense, of course.) There's a line in Alice Isn't Dead about this, sort of.

*********The Lone Ranger and D.B. Cooper have a few things in common. Why don't you spend some time thinking about that?

**********This little gimmick you're reading here being inspired by David Foster Wallace, of course. I was rereading The Pale King earlier this year; despite finding his New Sincerity schtick grating at (not few) times, he really was one of the greats. Being an actual litbro as like a new persona when I start my PhD could be fun, showing off my muscles while discoursing about Perec. It's a nice fantasy that with a bit more effort and panache I could convincingly pull off. It's sad and scary, too, with him, to think that you can be that successful and beloved in your own way and it still not be enough.

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

6/25/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

1 Kings 15-24 and 2 Chronicles 13-16

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological. I'm China. Today is the 25th day of June. Welcome. So great to be here with you today. Today we are...it's so crazy, like I leave you for a week. I come back and we are still in First Kings and Second Chronicles, but we are slowly making our way through. Slowly but surely. And we are in First Kings 15 chapters one through 24, and Second Chronicles chapters 13-16. And since it is a new week, we switch up the translation and we will be in the New English translation for this week.

Commentary:

Today we read about Abijah and his reign over Judah. And we read very little about Abijah and who he was and what happens, but if you want to read them, then all the rest of the events of Abijaha's reign, including all of his accomplishments, they're recorded in the scroll called the Annals of the Kings of Judah. And so Abijah and Jeroboam had been at war with each other. Abijah passes away. He's buried. His son Asa replaces him as king. And so we get into Asa 's reign over Judah. And we see that he rules for 41 years. Now he did what the Lord approved of as his ancestor David had done. He gets in and he's like, OK, we're going to remove all of the prostitutes from the land. We're going to get rid of all of these disgusting idols that ancestors had made. He removed his grandma from her position as queen mother because she had made a really terrible asherah pole. So he cuts em down. He burns them. But all the high places were not eliminated yet he was wholehearted, wholeheartedly devoted to the Lord in his lifetime.Which is interesting to me because it is still allowing this, like he's aware of this, It's not like he's not fully like, oh, I didn't know that. I never go up that so that way, you know? Or like he didn't hear those things. He's aware of it yet he's he's wholeheartedly devoted to the Lord throughout his lifetime. And he brings holy items that he and his father had made in the Lord's temple, including the silver and gold and other articles. And then we read about Asa's religious and military accomplishments and how he's...and we we see throughout his lifetime that he is praying. And he's asking the Lord, Lord, would you help us? Can we rely on you Lord? You are our God. Help us. And the Lord does. He strikes down the Cushites of Judah- we chased after them as far as Gerar. Cushites get wiped out. They were shattered before the Lord and his army and so they carry off the men of Judah. They carry out a huge amount of plunder. But then God's spirit comes upon Ahaziah, and he he meets us with Asa and is like, listen, the Lord is with you when you are loyal to him. If you seek him, he will respond to you. If you reject him, he's going to reject you. And for a long time, Israel has not sought after God. Or a priest to instruct them with a law, as in their distress, they turned back to the Lord of- Lord God of Israel. They saw him and he responded to them. And he just goes through and he's like, listen they're...this is like what we have been reading time after time after time, right? It's the Lord continually extending this that he made, this covenant promised he made with David. And he's like, he's like you can hear it in the Lord even through all the messengers that he's telling or directly from himself that he wants his people to succeed. He wants his people, he wants to be with them, or else he wouldn't be giving them so many chances. Or when they cry out to him that he responds and then he's with them, you know? But then, shortly after, we read there's no more war until the 35th year of Asa's reign and in the 36th year King Basha of Israel, he attacks Judah and he establishes a military outpost and Asa takes all the silver and gold that was left and he is like hey I want to make a treaty, or he, sorry he sends it to King Benhadad of Syria ruler of Damascus along with this message, hey I'd like to make a treaty with you, like when our father's made. Send you gold and silver. Break your treaty with King Basha of Israel so he will retreat from my land. Benhad accepts this offer and they go to attack the cities of Israel. They conquer. And then the prophet, he visits Asa and he says, listen, because you relied on the king of Syria and did not rely on the Lord your God the army of the king of Syria has escaped from your hand. And he reminds him, listen, like when you relied on the Lord for this last time, he handed them over to you. The Lord watches over the whole earth carefully, and he's ready to strengthen those who are devoted to him. But you've acted foolishly and from now on you're gonna have war. He gets so angry with him, he put him in jail as if like that removes everything that he just said or made it untrue. But this is like literally what another prophet had just told him. You stay true to the Lord, the Lord's gonna stay true to you, and that worked out for him. You know he put this into play. He tasted and he saw that the Lord was good, that he could rely on the Lord, that when he calls out to the Lord, the Lord answers. And so I'm so curious what got to him? You know, like was it just a lack of continuation of relationship with him? Maybe so many different things and I guess it doesn't necessarily matter, but to sit here and like, try to guess it and try to think of it, but at the end of the day he forgets that he can rely on the Lord. He gets scared of King BenHaddad trying to come in and overthrow him that he's like, OK, how do I make this work? How do I oh, I'll just take some gold and silver and say, hey, let's make a treaty like our dads did. And it works for him for a little bit, but ultimately it doesn't work for him because now he has, has this prophecy that like this word of warning and correction. You know, hey, you messed up. And then Asa he, he stops consulting the Lord. He gets a really gross foot disease and he just consults the doctors. He doesn't even consult the Lord and he has a lot of bitterness. I mean, we can see immediately he has bitterness because he's throwing this prophet in jail. But we see that he's obviously feeling remorseful, feeling like shouldn't have done that, but instead of repentance to the Lord and trying to repair that and to really turn away from that and be a man of God, like, you know, we're not perfect. We're not always going to get it right, We're not going to ever get it 100%. And I think the Lord knows that. But he's also like, listen, there's a good reason why I'm giving you these guidelines. He doesn't even try. He's just like, I have this weird foot thing and I'm gonna consult the doctors,  I'm not gonna consult the Lord. You know much bitterness in your heart, how much anger you have to have in your heart to not consult the Lord up to the point that you're dying? That's so intense.

Prayer:

Lord, I pray that our hearts would not be hardened like Asa's. Where if we get it wrong, if we mess up as you know, as we know we're going to do, God I pray that we would humble ourselves and come before you and say, Lord, I got it wrong, I messed up. I thought I could do this in my own strength I...it slipped my mind to come and contact you, but would like I....help me come back to you. Help me with this. And God, I just thank you that you meet us in that. And I pray that we would know, taste and see your goodness first and foremost that we would remember as truth even in the mundane or even in the the highs and the lows. And God I pray that we would be people who are solid in our faith. And we would just actually be intentional about building faith in our relationship with you so that when we get it wrong, we don't run and hide and try to further continue to do things in our own strength on our own- that we'd recognize you as sovereign and king of kings and Lord of Lords. And it's in your name we pray. Amen.

Announcements:

Dailyaudiobible.com is our website. It's a place of connection, so be sure to check that out. There's things that we as a community can call in and pray over you and encourage you in. We have a prayer request line and that is exactly what it's used for. Only is for prayer requests and for people to call in, pray over you and encourage you and you know, be the body of Christ. You can call in at 800-583-2164. And if you listen through the app, you can also record and send them in through there as well. That is all for today. I'm China. I love you, and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer Line:

Hi DABC. It's Emmy from Illinois calling in with an update. My father-in-law moved in this weekend. I can't remember if I called in for an update, but he was in a car accident a month ago and decided he shouldn't live alone anymore. So we officially moved him in this weekend and now we're trying to update our house to put on the market in the next couple of weeks as well as trying to find a home that will now accommodate 5 bedrooms and three dogs. Which is not easy to find from a rental or purchase perspective in our price range. And then just prayers. My relationship with God is struggling right now. I'm just feel like I'm in a wilderness of just lost. I can't find the time or the energy to give God time. And my husband has no faith right now and wants nothing to do with God or church. Which just makes it even more of a struggle to find the time because I feel like I need to be doing helping around the house and doing things with my daughter. And I'm so tired that I can't get up in the morning. Um, and I stay up late to get everything else done, so I'm even more tired to try to do something at night and I'm just struggling. Life is just chaotic and I can see God in in working in our relationship. And our like, it's been six weeks, almost two months, and things are going a lot better between us. We've still got a lot to work on that I feel like is not really ever going to be fixed until my husband's relationship with God gets fixed. And it's just frustrating. So if you could just continue to pray. Thank you.

Hey siblings, this is Minita my Chronological family. I love you guys so much. Straight from the Norm, thank you. I'm rejoicing with you. May the Lord continue to use you. OK. Umm, I love you. And He'll give you wisdom to continue to be a blessing to to others and the gentleman and everyone else God put in your in your path. Tanya, I'm excited for you, girl. You reported separation back in September, I think last year your husband and now you guys are together. That's awesome. Wow. No divorce. Yay. I know the devil is trying to destroy our marriages. You know, they, you know, I divorce myself, but I'm taking my time with this ministry and just being a blessing to you guys because you guys are blessing to me. God bless your marriage. And my sister from Australia, we will be praying for the mental health for Jacob. We will continue to pray for him. Things are looking good. Praise the Lord for that God hears us. He's so good for those who put our trust in Him. I love you. We will continue to pray for him. And Diana (My daughter's name is Diana) from Florida. Yeah, we are praying for Thomas. He had this terrible motorcycle accident. Wow, we will continue to pray for him and for his recovery, yeah, I am with you. And yeah, God works for us, not against us, you know. So yeah, I just took this time off from work and I just listening to thank God, by the grace of God, I'm up to date with Brian and Jill and China. I just love my community. You guys are my family. I love you guys. Take care- a big hug and a big kiss. Have a nice day.

Hi, this is Chastity from Kansas. I wanted to call and say thank you so much to Diana from Florida for calling and praying for my twin sister and I with the anniversary of our dad passing. That meant so much and I cried hearing it. I thank you so much. I've been trying for about the past year, so year and a half to get my sister to listen to Daily Audio Bible with me. Just because it's been such an encouragement to me, I went through one of the hardest times of my life since my dad passed last year. Just some things that we walked through in my family that were really hard. And Daily Audio Bible is honestly, I feel like such a godsend that really helped me get through that very, very difficult time. But I wanted to let you know, Diana, that my sister- I played the recording of your prayer for us for her. And she said in response. She said, OK, now I want to listen to Daily Audio Bible. I want to be involved in this community that is beautiful and I'm so thankful that she prayed for us. So I wanted to encourage you with that and just thank you so much for being such an amazing prayer warrior. Thank you for everybody who prays, whether you call or not they, they're felt by everybody you pray for. You know we can feel your prayers and I pray for all of you whenever I hear them- the calls. I love all of you so much and I pray often for this entire community and you are all just so very near to my heart. I love all of you and really quick I'd like to ask for prayer for a friend of mine named Alisa. She recently became a stepmom to her little boy who I believe is 3. And this little boy has been through a lot of abuse and trauma in his short 3 years of life, so they’re trying to find a counselor for him. So please pray for them. This family is just needing prayer. I love you all. 

Hi, this is Amy calling from Wisconsin. I’m calling in to pray for Sonya’s daughter Samantha who suffers with migraines. I, too, have a daughter named Samantha who is 22 and has suffered from chronic headaches and migraines since about the age of 7. It is so hard to watch your kids go through chronic pain like this and frustrating to not be able to find a cause or cure. I pray for both our Samantha’s that God heals their pain and completely takes away their migraines. I pray for your daughter to have a great delivery and healthy baby and that she doesn’t get anymore migraines during this time. It’s in Jesus’ Name I pray this. Amen.

[bloody-wonder]

end of the year reading survey

me? talking about books again?? it’s more likely than you think

How many books did you read? Did you meet your goal? My goal was 100 books, I’ve read 121 so far but the year isn’t over yet and I’m still in the middle of a couple :D

Most read genre? probably definitely fantasy

Longest and shortest books you read. According to Goodreads, the longest one was Thousand Autumns by Meng Xi Shi (2175 pages), but it’s hard to tell with danmei bc it’s published online so tbh Heaven Official’s Blessings by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu felt much longer to me. The shortest one was Heracles’ Bow by Madeline Miller - only 10 pages.

Favorite book published in 2021? The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting by KJ Charles.

Favorite debut book in 2021? I don’t think I’ve read a debut from 2021 but if it’s a general question than my answer would be The Game of Kings by Dorothy Dunnett and Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke. They are the kind of books that you would never think were debuts if you didn’t know and that make you certain you’ll never be good at anything you might ever attempt.

Favorite book not published this year? oh i don’t know there are so many to choose from THE LYMOND CHRONICLES

A book that lived up to the hype. Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik and The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden. These are objectively good and well written and entertaining compared to some other hyped books which I personally didn’t like😐

A book that did NOT live up to the hype. Dark Rise, regrettably :( Also Gideon the Ninth but this one I actually wanna re-read to see if it’s a me problem.

Book that felt like the biggest accomplishment. lol idk? reading capri in french maybe

Favorite character. My brilliant devil, my imitation king; my past, my future, my hope of heaven and my knowledge of hell... Francis Crawford of Lymond❤

Least favorite character. Probably Sabetha. It’s not her fault tho, she just suffers from the *written by a man* disease😬

Most shocking book/moment. That character death in The Disorderly Knights hit me like a truck😞 Also there’s a shocking moment at the end of My Dark Vanessa, it’s of a quieter sort but still makes you think wow,, she really went there didn’t she😕

Favorite couple/OTP. Technically I read The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation last December but I’m still gonna say Wangxian bc given all the MDZS adaptations that I consumed afterwards they’ve really dominated my year ship-wise.

The best written book you read this year. All the books that I’ve mentioned are the best. none as well written as aftg tho lol

Book that you pushed the most people to read in 2021. You might remember that when I finished The Lymond Chronicles I posted about it non-stop for a while and so I actually got a couple of people, both online and irl, to pick up The Game of Kings. The results were,, poor :( I can’t fathom why, it’s a very accessible, easy to follow adventure story with a manageable amount of likable characters whose motivation is as clear as day at all times.

Favorite book cover of the year. I really like the minimalist covers of both Susanna Clarke books.

Favorite book adaptation. I just watched Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell the mini-series and, barring some of the more glaring adaptational attractiveness issues, I would say it’s a pretty faithful adaptation of the book and a perfect way to experience this wonderful story for someone who isn’t prepared to commit to reading over 1000 pages.

What book made you cry the most? twas The Disorderly Knights & other lymond books but The Bear and the Nightingale, Killing Stalking, Convenience Store Woman and Arrête avec tes mensonges made me shed some tears as well. some of this could’ve been pms tho

What book made you laugh the most? I’ve already talked about some very amusing books in my mid-year book freak-out tag, but among the ones that I’ve read since then Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell stands out with its dry british humor. I’m currently reading The Nobleman's Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks and it’s quite hilarious too, just like the previous books in the series.

A new favorite author you discovered this year. Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, Naomi Novik and Susanna Clarke. And Dorothy Dunnett, I suppose. (Normally I don’t consider someone my favorite author until I read and like two or more of their books which don’t belong to the same series BUT her mind birthed Lymond so there’s that).

Favorite book you re-read this year. Gentlemen and Players by Joanne Harris and Confusion by Stefan Zweig - some of my all time favorites and very underrated books too and all of you should read them right now. or like,, tomorrow. or next week.

What is the best non-fiction book you read this year? Male Trouble by Abigail Solomon-Godeau. It’s a very insightful book about the representation of masculinity in the french academic painting at the turn of the 19th century. I read it bc I study art history and my master thesis is gonna be about how observing nude men for hours in order to paint their likeness over and over again is gay actually :)

i’m gonna tag @starlingshrike @moonsandstarsaregay @oliviermiraarmstrongs @fandomreferencepending @pemberlaey @jimscoffee @counterwiddershins @raelis1 @remicatscratch @figuringthengsout @fugitoidkry @bibliophilic-vacillator @thehalcyonharbinger @bellaroles if you guys wanna do this

if i didn’t tag you bc i don’t know you or that you’re a bookworm and you wanna do this survey DO IT AND TAG MOI. i’ve been harassing people like this all year long and now i actually have someone to talk to about books, it works i swear😁

[allaboardtheussharringrove]

The ever lovely @herminah tagged me and I haven’t done a get to know me so here goes! 🤗💕

rules: answer 30 questions and tag however many blogs you want!

name: you can call me B 😁

gender: a lady, she/her

star sign: geminiiiii (and aries moon/leo rising for any other astrology freaks out there🔥)

height: 5’ 6 3/4” but my roommate says that’s bs and im 5’ 7”

time: 5:10pm

birthday: May 25th

favorite bands: oh boy, Mötley Crüe, Scorpions, Metallica, Black Sabbath, Heart, The Cars, Oingo Boingo, Blue Öyster Cult, Rae Sremmurd *oNe Of ThEsE iS nOt LiKe ThE oThErS*

favorite solo artists: Ozzy Osbourne, Stevie Nicks, Miley Cyrus, Cardi B, Billie Eilish, Lana Del Rey

last movie: Erin Brockovich (love that movie, makes me cry one minute and then yell “oh shit! get wrekt!” the next)

last show: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (im just there for the clay boy at this point, give me a hunky austrailian villian with his tiddies out and I’ll watch the show.)

when did i create this blog: sept 2019, for the sole purpose of making a presentation to show my roomies brother why harringrove is a thing- but that post is buried so far now lol

what I post: hair.ring.grove. the boys. pretty boy and the trash rat. billy & bambi. keg kings of hawkins high. I can’t quit them someone help

last thing i googled: mercury retrograde 2021 cause i got ~*concerned*~

other blogs: @misssomegotdamnbody my og where it’s mostly funny stuff I guess & @somegotdamnbody which I made for artsy things I come across but I barely use it, maybe I’ll work on it sometime🤷‍♀️

do i get asks: not really but I’m okay with that

why i chose my url: uss butterscotch had me cackling in s3, so uss harringrove just makes me happy and like it’s a fantastic ship so all a-fuckin-board!🚢✨

following: 98 (I should probably follow more people to be honest, but i have some pretty intense social media anxiety and I’m working on it but it’s hard🙂)

followers: 260 across the board

instruments: flute, piano, oboe for a lil bit, and guitar (I just got a gorgeous new strat for christmas! 🎸😱)

what i am wearing: a scorpions love at first sting shirt, flowy black & white vertical striped pants, silver & turquoise rings, and a thick knit duster sweater

dream job(s): anything creative and in the arts

dream trip: 2020 stole my big London trip I was supposed to take last spring, so !!!

favorite foods: the 3 c’s - chips, cheese, and chocolate

nationality: US citizen? Californian?

favorite song: at the moment, ‘Breaking the Chains’ by Dokken, the lyrics are IT right now and I love singing along to it

last book i read: A Memory of Light by Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson, it’s the last book in the Wheel of Time series- my favorite book series ever of all time it’s so good I feel like melting and bursting and crying at once

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: Wheel of Time (I have too many words😭💘) weirdly uhhh Twilight (however cheesy that is, but I was reading those in like 8th grade and they kinda helped me embrace being super pale/allergic to the sun by owning the whole vampire thing [also I think they’re the coolest type of vampires😬]) and a further throwback to Chronicles of Narnia (ahhh just pure fantasy land😌👌)

tagging: some of the people I see frequently/recently and think are just the bees knees😅@livedsomanylives @draculcid @writerwhowritesao3 @memes-saved-me @opaldraws @im-not-so-sin @jujubug444 @kingsandsaints @mourntheantagonist @verified-villain-fxcker

[simplegenius042]

Music Monday & WIP Tuesday

Tagging @voidika @raresvtm @josephseedismyfather @noodlecupcakes @imogenkol @socially-awkward-skeleton @inafieldofdaisies @aceghosts @cloudofbutterflies92 @cassietrn @direwombat @adelaidedrubman @derelictheretic @davrinsgriffons @shallow-gravy @strangefable @statichvm @carlosoliveiraa @g0dspeeed @wrathfulrook @starsandskies @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @thewanderer-000 @omen-speaker @alypink @shellibisshe @josephslittledeputy @skoll-sun-eater @afarcryfrommymain @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins @florbelles @minilev @justasmolbard @yokobai and @seedsplease + anyone else who'd like to join.

Got three Hellaverse songs for my The UnTitledverse and Life, Despair & Monsters series and one FC5 WIP for The Silver Chronicles, and since we're coming up on "No John January", I thought to might as well show off one final snippet of John right on this post before never mentioning him for a whole-ass month (instead the only Seed siblings to get that honor would be the rest of them, mostly his brothers, right up until "Only Faith February", where she's the only Seed to talk about).

Listen and read below the cut:

First song is for The UnTitled Ventures saga of The UnTitledverse, where I imagine Joaquin Lockwood would be singing this lullaby as an assurance to both Eveline and Elise that if anything were to happen to him, he'll make sure they will be fine. His daughters are pretty much his driving motivation in his decisions throughout this saga. Listen below:

"It always seems more quiet in the dark It always feels so stark How silence grows under the moon Constellations gone so soon

I used to think that I was bold I used to think love would be fun Now all my stories have been told except for one

As the stars start to align I hope you take it as a sign That you'll be okay Everything will be okay."

The next song is for my Hellaverse WIP Smile Tunes. Now in the scene this song takes place in, Krunk and Samuel are on a date at Ozzie's, but when Blitzø and Stolas are outed by Asmodeus and Fizzarolli, neither stand up for the IMP boss nor the Goetia Prince, in order to not be outed as dating, which a dramatic point for Krunk and his boss (as well as Krunk and the Morningstar's Royal Advisor he's dating). This sets up an arc that eventually pays off in this WIP's version of "Mastermind". [CW: This song involves references to sexual references]

"Is that Blitzo? So you're showin' your face? Hey, everybody, this guy's a total disgrace! Some nerve you've got to comment on a relationship Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!"

"Oh, Blitzo? I used to date him." ("Date him, date him!")

"Oh, Verosika, you're here."

"I'd stroke him, I'd fellate him ("Fellate him, fellate him!") Yeah, but when it was my turn ("My turn, my turn!") He did no reciprocatin' ("What a dick-bag!") A selfish imp in the sheets, and just as bad in the streets A reckless, heartbreaking freak!"

"Who's that at your table? Is your date a demon prince? Stolas, is that you?"

"Are you sleepin' with an imp?"

"Woo! My dark lord, how the mighty do fall You used to have a smokin' wife, a kid, you had it all I hope you didn't give it up so you and him could get it up!"

And lastly, this song is a singing simplification of how Icarus manages to resolve the gap between him and Hatter, managing to reach a resolution where avatar and parasite can finally communicate with one another in their original WIP from my Life, Despair & Monsters series. And yes... it involved Icarus drinking a spiked tea that one of his alters, Xavier, left out for him in order to get both him and Hatter to speak to each other through their weird-ass dimension breaking connection. Since Moxxie's the only person singing in this song while Blitzø's part only involves dialogue, I though it was only necessary for Icarus/Hatter to since Moxxie's part:

[CW: References to recreational drug use and sexual references]

"Hatter*? I can't see you God, this smells awful! What's that music? Is that you? Is this a prank? Because I swear to-"**

"It is no prank, bitch!"

"Hey! Why do you sound like that?"

"Because you, my precious little bitch boy-"

"Stop it, Hatter*!"

"-are tripping balls!"

"No! What? How could this be? I've never tried acid, shrooms or DMT It's a bad trip, oy gevalt! Of course, Hatter*, this would be your fault!

My lungs are full of honesty Would you promise me That you won't judge?"

"Yes, bitch!"

"Not trying to divulge too much But I'm in too deep, so first of all

Fuck you!"

"What?!"

"This is just typical Well, two can play at this game of dismay 'Cause if I'm here where you're causing frustration*** Xavier and Hinode must be experiencing their own hallucinations!****

Why do you hurt me so?"*****

"I know!"

"Why must you push our friends away?"***** "I push my friends away!"

"Why does it seem like a recurring theme That you alienate with your toxic routine?"

"I don't know, eventually everyone goes!"

"'Cause you're thoughtless and cruel and you'll end up alone!"

"Why, Icarus*, why Have you held your true feelings inside?"

"I am scared of rejection!"

"Why, Icarus, why Do you reach so close for the sun?"******

"Because I'm an arrogant perfectioni- Wait a minute!"*******

"No need to hide We accept your true feelings, so promise me!"

"That I can do..." "...to be true!"

"The world is your anus so peg it with honesty!"

"Ugh..."

"I've been a jackass, it's true!"

"I've been a jackass, it's true!"

"But as soon as we're back to our normal selves."

"I will be a better friend than I was before!"

"Be better at speaking my mind!"

"And together, we can begin To become fine!"

[*Changed names to Icarus and Hatter since that's the focus. **Their not in Hell, so Satan's name wouldn't make sense. ***Since Icarus is only speaking to Hatter due to their shared connection being high enough, it wouldn't make sense for Hatter to be experiencing his own hallucinations when he's sharing it with Icarus, so just changed it to the reason below. ****Changed for the reasons above to Icarus noticing that Hatsukami and Xavier aren't with him and Hatter and makes the safe assumption that they're elsewhere in the recesses of his tripping mind. *****Changed it to collective pronouns (us/our) since Hatter's actions isn't just affecting Icarus. ******Icarus doesn't have a partner yet and also sex-averting so just changed it to a inside joke of his name. *******Icarus does not enjoy the joke that much despite being self-aware of the similarities between him and his famous namesake. >< Also Icarus saying "Ugh" towards Hatter's words is more an annoyed groan towards Hatter's lack of filter (where Icarus just finally gives up on trying to get Hatter to speak in a less vulgar manner) rather than the description of the action itself.]

Here's a WIP snippet for You're Almost Like Family where John finishes conversing with Silva at the gas station... before his loop restarts once more: [CW: Character death and minor description of gore]

The Deputy regarded him with a stoic mask, clearly processing the information he revealed to her.

It reminded John of Jacob in a way, but also of Faith, although the latter had a knack for copying qualities of the former.

The Deputy was quite a paranoid woman, as he's come to discover in these loops. She was, for the most part, closed-off to her allies, and held distrust towards strangers, even more so towards those she perceived as her enemies. She lacked belief in the Father and the Project long before she came to arrest his brother.

He was aware he had a hand in that, even if he doesn't know how. Although he wondered if this distrust went further back before even her arrival in the county.

The Deputy tapped her fingers against the belt around her hips, chewing against her cheek, before exhaling through her nose.

Moment of truth; did she believe him, or was he going to die a brutal death again? Though John was no longer a stranger to death, how the Deputy kills him was always a gamble of how much it was going to hurt.

Especially since she had no weapons, and there was a smashed plate nearby.

When her grey eyes gazed to him, she responded, "And I suppose since that directly goes against your family's whole mission of converting me to your cult, you'd want to inform me of this as soon as possible. Yeah, that weirdly makes too much sense."

John felt relief wash over him once more, his grin even more excited now that he's made actual progress. Though he wasn't finished yet, it was a step closer to his goal of saving her soul now that she believed him.

"Exactly," John told her, though toned his excitement down when she eyed him as if he was the strange one, "Now that we're on the same page, I want to propose a temporary truce between you and the Resistance in Holland Valley. Until this threat is successfully dealt with."

The Deputy raised a brow, inquiring, "And what makes you think this mystery killer is going to stick to Holland Valley?"

John didn't actually know. He's just been going off of what he's witnessed from previous loops. He doesn't actually have evidence to suggest most of her deaths were deliberate assassinations or sabotage.

However, what he did know is that wherever the Deputy was, her killer would likely be somewhere nearby.

He of course couldn't tell the Deputy any of this; the first time he told her, she called him a horrendous liar, and the last time he tried again, she outright told him she didn't believe him before attempting to escort him to the judgement of Fall's End... only to enter a truck that he could only guess had been planted with an explosion.

That... had been amongst his least pleasant memories in these loops.

And it wasn't like he could prove it to her. No matter what, the circumstances kept changing, too many factors were always shifting and it was rare for the Deputy to do or say the same thing twice as a result.

So instead John spoke as close to the truth as possible, if only to ease the Deputy's uncertainty, "Call it a hunch, dear. I've prosecuted and defended many in my time as an attorney, and if there's something I've learned about killers, they like to remain at a distance that isn't too far from their prey."

The Deputy did that curious little hum that he's always found endearing; it was short, too short for his liking, but he liked the sound of it. Made her seem beyond the remorseless killer full of wrath that his faithful had fallen to.

Thankfully, she didn't argue against his words.

"So a truce until we can dispatch whoever is after me?" she repeated his conditions, looking to him for confirmation, "That's it, right?"

While John was tempted into trying to push the Deputy into a deal that would benefit his family, he didn't want to fuck up this chance of gaining her cooperation in dealing with this threat.

Though John knew she'd be tempted in utilizing this in trying to gain her own conditions to her agreement, he decided to add.

"Yes, that's all I offer. Neither your rebellion nor my faithful will shed blood in this Valley. I'm unwilling to negotiate anything else until this threat is dealt with."

It'd do wonders for him if she'd stopped dying altogether.

She seemed displeased by that, and opened her mouth to argue.

Instead he retorted, "Besides, wouldn't you rather be alive if wanted to get Deputy Hudson back? I think it'd be counterintuitive if you wasted precious time better spent on hunting down your assassin."

She glared at him, but conceded in silence.

"Alright," she replied, reluctantly adding, "I'll agree to this truce. But I'm not sure how likely the Resistance will believe you. Do you have evidence on hand that could help better help us in convincing them?"

...Evidence?

John's previous joy was replaced by frustration at himself. How could I not have thought of that?!

"Uh, not on me, no," he admitted sheepishly, cringing at overlooking such an important detail, "But I'll gather it up back at the Ranch and Gate."

In other words, he was gonna have to quickly find something that would convince those sinner's to not disagree with his offer.

"I guess we'll rendezvous again when we do," the Deputy stated, and for that John could almost feel himself relax until she added, "But if it turns out to be an elaborate trap-"

John cut her off, "Yes, I understand, Deputy. I'm not going to deceive you into an ambush. You have my word."

The Deputy didn't seem completely convinced, and he suspected his word didn't mean much to her, but she was going to have to be satisfied with it.

"If that's all, I'm going to head back to Fall's End," the Deputy said, turning to leave. While John didn't believe Fall's End was the safest option for her, he knew he really can't do much about that.

He did think about using Bliss to incapacitate and bring her back to his Gate, but he ultimately decided against it; not only would he have a pissed-off Deputy who'd be even more resistant going after him, which could lead to Hudson's escape as well, but the assassin has proven to have an unfair expertise in infiltrating his family's troops.

It'd be a redundant effort on his part. At least with the Sinner's home base, the Deputy would be surrounded by her allies, and if she believes anything he's said thus far, would be on guard.

Though before she left, he couldn't help but ask one last question.

"You know, Deputy," John said, earning her attention, "I know neither of us are on the best of terms, but since it shouldn't be such a big deal to you, I'd appreciate it if you told me what your name is?"

Her brows furrowed as her expression shifted from confused to surprised realization, "You don't know what my name is?"

John blinked, cocking his head before shaking it, "No?"

"Hadn't Nancy, I don't know, given you my files beforehand?"

Ah, so she's assumed we knew she'd joined the force, John mused. Obviously she believed the arrest was an orchestrated ambush, and not God connecting their fates together. He'd clear up that misconception then.

"Nancy wasn't in a position to have access of such documents, I'm afraid. And given her role, she wouldn't have been able to inform us about your addition on the Marshal's taskforce," he informed her.

The Deputy hummed, looking to the side before her grey eyes returned to his blue, "And if I don't tell you?"

John just shrugged, "Then there's not much I can do then, is there, Deputy? Although, I have to ask, do you really want me to keep calling you Deputy for the remainder of the Reaping?"

She snorted, "I wouldn't have cared much until you kept pronouncing it that way."

He found offense to that, but refrained from making a comment as the Deputy looked down in contemplation, her stoic face giving away nothing.

When she looked back to him, his excitement was short-lived when he noticed a shadow enter through the station's door.

"It's-"

No words were quick enough to escape out of his throat when the back and front of the Deputy's skull exploded into chunks of flesh, brain and blood that sprayed onto him, with the bullet propelling through towards its next target.

John could see how it slowly made its way towards the bridge of his nose, the Deputy's fresh corpse limply falling forwards towards him at much the same pace.

He forced his eyes to gaze towards the assassin's figure, feeling the agonizing effects of the loop preparing his next restart.

He wondered if the assassin had followed him or the Deputy here, or if they had just been passing by.

Regardless, they had just nullified all his efforts to get to this point.

Desperate to not waste the remaining seconds left before either the bullet or the loop take him, he stared hard at the figure afar, their weapon drawn, so effortlessly quick, faster than he'd seen Silva draw her own.

He noticed the assassin was heavily draped in the Sinners usual clothing. And although difficult, John could also notice the unshaven stubble across the culprit's unfamiliar face.

John's eyes tried to capture more of what he saw of the assassin but the pounding ache once more resonated into his head as he-

The chapel's door's closed, indicating the Deputy and Joseph's departure, and all John could do to avoid falling off the podium behind his brother and sister again was reach for the wood behind him to steady his shaking legs.

He felt nauseous from being that close to such gore, but soon it was replaced with jubilation as he now learned of a new detail about the Deputy's killer.

But even that feeling didn't last when he realized where and when he was.

With no way to better process his raging frustration at his efforts being reduced to nothing, he articulated all of anger through one single word.

"FUCK!" he shouted, alarming Jacob and spooking Faith.

[raveismysublime]

I am attempting to right a fic

So I am re-reading ACOWAR and am at the part where Nesta and Elaine go visit Graysen to try and get him to help the humans or something like that and Nesta is beating up Graysen for hurting Elaine. 

So my mind wanders and goes... what if Cassian was there to see this? and then.... what if Cassian saw this from his POINT OF VIEW!!!!!!! So I’m like let me write this, 

I have never wrote fan fiction besides some Lunar chronicles shit on Wattpad and Lesbian smut (don’t ask, it helped with my sexuality tho) SO please don’t come at me if you hate this 

I just really wanted this from Cassian's perspective, like watching Nesta be a bad bitch instead of a rude bitch ya kno? Idk but here yall go 

I apologize in advance if this is shitty ( it probably will be, please don’t hate I love u guys) and will probably never right a fic again but ok enough talking here ya go

Im gonna be taking parts of ACOWAR and typing them in so it looks believable 

**we’re gonna imagine that Cassian went with them for this to work okay**

-------------------

“So only the rich and chosen will walk through the gates?” Rhys asked, arching a brow. “I can’t imagine the aristocracy being content to work your land and fish in your lake or butcher your meat.”

This meeting was going nowhere, thought Cassian as Rhysand argued with the close-minded human boy. The fact this pitiful man thinks his mere father and some iron were going to protect him and the human lands from Hybern’s wrath was stupid, laughable even.

How he was able to land a Archeron’s sister was beyond what Cassian could think of. For once, he would agree with Nesta on the idea of this marriage. 

“We have plenty of workers here to do that.”  so the little boy speaks. Cassian wanted to retort, he wanted to desperately put this pathetic weasle of a man in his place but bit his tongue. This was not his fight, this was Elaine’s and at the moment Rhysands. He would not intervene. 

Because if he did intervene this whole place would come crumbling down and weasel boy and his father would be crying in their underwear. 

But Jurian said to the lords, “I fought beside your ancestor. And he would be ashamed if you locked out those who needed it. You would spit on his grave to do so. I hold a position of trust with Hybern. One word from me, and I will make sure his legion takes a visit here. To you.” 

“You’ll threaten to bring the very enemy you seek to protect us from?” Weasle boy said. 

 Jurian shrugged. “I can also convince Hybern to steer clear. He trusts me that much. You let in those people … I will do my best to keep his armies far away.” 

He gave Rhys a look, daring him to doubt it.

 We were still too stunned to even try to look neutral.

Cassian wondered if the elder lord might be the one who could actually be reasoned with. Especially as Graysen said to Elain, “Take that ring off.”

 Elain’s fingers curved into a fist. “No.” Ugly. This was about to get ugly in the worst way— 

“Take. It. Off.”

How humiliating, Cassian thought, to Elaine for everyone to witness this absurd man. If only he could reach around, grab weasel man by the neck, pin him against the wall and shove two of his knives into each of his balls-

That’s enough,” Rhys said, his voice lethally calm. “The lady keeps the ring, if she wants it. Though none of us will be particularly sad to see it go. Females tend to prefer gold or silver to iron.”

Graysen leveled a seething look at Rhysand. “Is this the start of it? You Fae males will come to take our women? Are your own not fuckable enough?” 

That was the last of it that Cassian was willing to endure. Was this man stupid? He should not be alive at this very second. He should be drowned in crimson and tears. 

“Watch your tongue, boy,” his father said. At Least he had some sense to shut his son up. Elain turned white at the coarse language.

Graysen only said to her, “I am not marrying you. Our engagement is over. I will take whatever people occupy your lands. But not you. Never you.”

Fucking bastard. To even speak to a women like this, to even dare 

He was going to rip out his throat 

Tears began sliding down Elain’s face, their scent filling the room with salt.

 Nesta stepped forward. Then another step. And another. 

Cassian watched her every move, every breath and the anger etched across her brow. He could do nothing but stare at her movements 

He could do nothing but stare at Nesta

Until she was in front of Graysen, faster than anyone could see. 

He watched her dress swish against her curves, he watched her fingers 

Until Nesta smacked him hard enough that his head snapped to the side.

He made a sharp intake of his breath. He had only ever seen her mad, furious, bitching to him or any other male. Never, never had he seen her so calm and burning towards someone else.

To him, she was snarky and he snarked back

To this man, she was calm and collected as her eyes burned into his face. Cassian would have never wanted to be on the receiving end of that look. 

She was devastating. 

 “You never deserved her,” Nesta snarled into the stunned silence as Graysen cupped his face and swore, bending over. Nesta only looked back at me. Rage, unfiltered and burning, roiled in her eyes. But her voice was stone-cold as she said to me, “I assume we’re done here.”

The power uttered in those words. The power in her

All Cassian could do was watch her. Watch her defend her sister to no end, watch as the poor boy looked into her eyes with fear. 

 Feyre gave her a wordless nod. And proud as any queen, Nesta took Elain’s arm and led her from the guardhouse. Mor trailed behind, guarding their backs as they entered the veritable field of weapons and snarling hounds waiting outside 

He enjoyed watching someone else take in the brunt of Nesta’s words and actions. It was entertaining to him to watch another male be weakened by her. He could get used to seeing that quite often. 

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta 

He couldn’t help laughing to himself.

She looked so beautiful when she was angry, he admitted to a small part of himself.

Gods, this women. 

-----

OKAY i know that was probably so bad but I tried? idk tell me what ya’ll thinkkkk i just really wanted this written somewere but admittidly it sounded better in my head haha 

I am just craving so much Nessian stuff at this moment like I am going to BURST where is this book. 

[deastonishing]

Subject: It isn’t a love letter

Hai Ki,

How you’ve been?

These days my dream tucked me away to our memories. When we were wearing the same uniform, passing notes in secrecy with every line of our favorite band, sneaking out from school festival to your favorite cake shop for your birthday discount, and all the cheesy, shabby, sleazy things we ever did together. Our best time, or more likely bestest time in my life, when we were wearing the same uniform. 

Remember I first bumped on you when orientation weeks, noticed there’s red stain on your skirt and me who was only a stranger back then being so blued, dragged you to the corner and covered you with my hoodie. Your sharp eyes, clueless grimace, perky face. Your clearly first word that I’d expected to be a long flabby tongue about how to pay back your senior for his kindness instead of “I use my mom’s phone, sorry” and gave back the hoodie then walked away. The other day you bumped into me and saying sorry that you might be rude, handed me a cheesecake then walked away. So the ‘we bumped into each other’ chronicle continued until we ended up with the same dress code on the dance floor for my last inauguration as a student council.

You’re just extremely unexpected Kiya.

You’re extremely unexpected to be expected to live forever on the half part of my soul.

Hai Ki,

I won't talk about what we missed, about how we were so cautious with our feelings. I want you to know, how long we’re apart, how far the distance built between us, you can always come to me. Your name, i still saved it like the first time i had it from you, with a puppy emojis and christmas tree.

It is not a love letter, so you don't need to be afraid nor to feel it as a burden. It is just a letter from your old friends, your long boy who gave his first love on you, the one that never not to skip his breath to miss you in every single step he takes in his life. It is not that I love you and I want to be with you, it is not that I regret for didn’t wielding the chance to keep you and me to be us back then, it is just indifference.

Hai Ki,

You remember? the night before my final exams started. you came to my house with a handful of vitamins and snacks. you rested your head on my shoulder while heared me chattering about my dream. and you asked me this question, a question that I engraved forever on my palm.

“Someday, when we finally step on to our each journey, how to know if we’re on the right path? how to make sure that we’re actually walking forward? Will someone tell us if we’re on the wrong path?” 

A silence that you got from me as an answer, we were so young, we were so young for a ghastly matter. So I turned the question into a song, that I promised myself I would let your ears taste it when the time is right, when I meet you again, when you call me at midnight in your quarter life. 

But years passed, we still had no chance to sit and drink your favorite summer tea on the same table, years passed and I still could not hear your inflection through my phone.

Until this morning I overheard my cousin brother talking on the phone with someone whose name was the same name as I called you.

And i wondered if it’s the same kiya of mine or not, then he said his kiya has a galaxy in her eyes, her smile like a moon flowers that blooms beautifully between the dark, her face is small so small till he can put his hand and it would covered all the beauty at once, her mind is the shrewdest but her heart is the softest. He said his kiya fell asleep last night with worry in her head.

Then my head moved to a lot of ‘what if’s’. What if you through the same hardship, what if you just crying alone, what if you feel so alone right now, what if you hurt your heart with the spooky little idea that you always came up with, what if no one can’t hug you now, what if you let yourself living the darkness all day, without light, no blanket, no warm chocolate, you let yourself suffered alone, what if you want to talk about happy things but you hesitated to call your friends, what if your worst ghost haunted you and woke you up to the most dreadful place you never ever want to perceive it? 

What if his kiya is the same as my high schooler kiya. Do you still cry alone with the old song you said you always listened to?

 I made a song for you, a song that speaks your heart. I made this song for you the night I walked you home, and saw your back when you opened the silver door for the last time. The song that I promised to let your ears have a taste on it when we meet again.

This song for you Kiya, this song might have no answer. but i hope this song and the memories its holds would bring your heart at ease.

Hai Ki,

Last words before I ended this long messy hollo. 

When I write this letter, I just finished my voluntary agenda in one dementia foundation. Here is what I learned from them, and I want to share it with you.

“For them, there is no past, there is no future. There are no true memories, everything was so blurry. for them there is only the present. there is only today’s story. so cherish the moment.”

One day at a time kiya, one day at a time we only live the currents. One day at a time kiya, one day at a time we have to light the heart with all sorrow. 

And you are a lot braver than people think. Including you.

.

.

.

Hai Ki,

I hope this email reaches the right address.

ps: give a chance to him, he’s a good guy (not as good as me :p). just in case you are the same kiya. hehe

I love you

Your sloppy mate Brian

[witchybooks]

2021 Most Anticipated Pt.1

I’m posting this early so others can add these beauties to their list. :) 

The Mask of Mirrors - M.A Carrick

Nightmares are creeping through the city of dreams... Renata Viraudax is a con artist who has come to the sparkling city of Nadezra -- the city of dreams -- with one goal: to trick her way into a noble house and secure her fortune and her sister's future. But as she's drawn into the elite world of House Traementis, she realizes her masquerade is just one of many surrounding her. And as corrupt magic begins to weave its way through Nadezra, the poisonous feuds of its aristocrats and the shadowy dangers of its impoverished underbelly become tangled -- with Ren at their heart.

Son of the Storm - Suyi Davies Okungbowa 

A young scholar's ambition threatens to reshape an empire determined to retain its might in this epic tale of violent conquest, buried histories, and forbidden magic. In the thriving city of Bassa, Danso is a clever but disillusioned scholar who longs for a life beyond the rigid family and political obligations expected of the city's elite. A way out presents itself when Lilong, a skin-changing warrior, shows up wounded in his barn. She comes from the Nameless Islands- which, according to Bassa lore, don't exist- and neither should the mythical magic of ibor she wields. Now swept into a conspiracy far beyond his understanding, Danso and Lilong will set out on a journey that reveals histories violently suppressed and magic only found in lore.

A Court of Silver Flames - Sarah J. Maas

***Spoilers for ACOTAR series***

Nesta Archeron has always been prickly-proud, swift to anger, and slow to forgive. And ever since being forced into the Cauldron and becoming High Fae against her will, she's struggled to find a place for herself within the strange, deadly world she inhabits. Worse, she can't seem to move past the horrors of the war with Hybern and all she lost in it. The one person who ignites her temper more than any other is Cassian, the battle-scarred warrior whose position in Rhysand and Feyre's Night Court keeps him constantly in Nesta's orbit. But her temper isn't the only thing Cassian ignites. The fire between them is undeniable, and only burns hotter as they are forced into close quarters with each other. Meanwhile, the treacherous human queens who returned to the Continent during the last war have forged a dangerous new alliance, threatening the fragile peace that has settled over the realms. And the key to halting them might very well rely on Cassian and Nesta facing their haunting pasts. Against the sweeping backdrop of a world seared by war and plagued with uncertainty, Nesta and Cassian battle monsters from within and without as they search for acceptance-and healing-in each other's arms.

Underboss - Kristen Proby

As the eldest son of Seattle’s current mob boss, Carmine Martinelli’s life has never really been his own. But he doesn’t mind because his family means more to him than his life. Which is why he's determined to make those responsible for the death of his aunt and uncle pay—in inventive and gruesome ways. And what better way to do that than to infiltrate the Russian mafia from the inside? It’s a good thing the bratva’s princess is stunning and seemingly willing to do whatever he asks. This vengeance could be the perfect mix of business and pleasure. Nadia Tarenkov has several things stacked against her: she’s a woman, and she’s not the eldest child in her family. But it doesn’t matter. She has her sights set on ruling the syndicate, and she always gets what she wants. When the heir to one of the States’ most powerful crime families comes knocking, Nadia sees it for the gift it is. He thinks he has her fooled, but she’s smarter, more cunning, and always two steps ahead. She’ll beat the gorgeous mobster at his own game, and secure her place in the fold. What neither of them takes into consideration, however, is that they aren’t the only ones with deadly plans in motion. To survive, they’ll have to come clean and work together—and acknowledge that the growing love they’ve been pretending isn’t there, is very real.

Hall of Smoke - H.M Long

Epic fantasy featuring warrior priestesses and fickle gods at war, for readers of Brian Staveley's Chronicles of the Unhewn Throne. Hessa is an Eangi: a warrior priestess of the Goddess of War, with the power to turn an enemy's bones to dust with a scream. Banished for disobeying her goddess's command to murder a traveller, she prays for forgiveness alone on a mountainside. While she is gone, raiders raze her village and obliterate the Eangi priesthood. Grieving and alone, Hessa - the last Eangi - must find the traveller, atone for her weakness and secure her place with her loved ones in the High Halls. As clans from the north and legionaries from the south tear through her homeland, slaughtering everyone in their path, Hessa strives to win back her goddess' favour. Beset by zealot soldiers, deceitful gods, and newly-awakened demons at every turn, Hessa burns her path towards redemption and revenge. But her journey reveals a harrowing truth: the gods are dying and the High Halls of the afterlife are fading. Soon Hessa's trust in her goddess weakens with every unheeded prayer. Thrust into a battle between the gods of the Old World and the New, Hessa realizes there is far more on the line than securing a life beyond her own death. Bigger, older powers slumber beneath the surface of her world. And they're about to wake up.

Beneath the Keep - Erika Johansen

The Tearling has reverted to feudalism, a far cry from the utopia it was founded to be. As the gap between rich and poor widens and famine threatens the land, sparking unrest, rumors of a prophecy begin to spread: a great hope, a True Queen who will rise up and save the kingdom. But rumors will not help Lazarus, a man raised to kill in the brutal clandestine underworld of the Creche, nor Aislinn, a farm girl who must reckon with her own role in the growing rebellion. In the Keep, the crown princess, Elyssa, finds herself torn between duty to the throne and the lure of the Blue Horizon, a group of fierce idealists who promise radical change . . . but Elyssa must choose quickly, before a nefarious witch and her shadowy master use dark magic to decide for her. It is only a matter of time before all three will be called into the service of something bigger than they have ever imagined: a fight for a better world.

Heartopper Vol.4 - Alice Oseman

Boy meets boy. Boys become friends. Boys fall in love. The bestselling LGBTQ+ graphic novel about life, love, and everything that happens in between: this is the fourth volume of HEARTSTOPPER

The Lost Metal - Brandon Sanderson

I hope this is finally is coming out in 2021. 

The Jasmine Throne - Tasha Suri

Imprisoned by her dictator brother, Malini spends her days in isolation in the Hirana: an ancient temple that was once the source of the powerful, magical deathless waters — but is now little more than a decaying ruin. Priya is a maidservant, one among several who make the treacherous journey to the top of the Hirana every night to clean Malini’s chambers. She is happy to be an anonymous drudge, so long as it keeps anyone from guessing the dangerous secret she hides. But when Malini accidentally bears witness to Priya’s true nature, their destinies become irrevocably tangled. One is a vengeful princess seeking to depose her brother from his throne. The other is a priestess seeking to find her family. Together, they will change the fate of an empire.

[scrappydooisfoundaliveinnebraska]

It’s been a hard night.

You feel lost-well, you ARE lost, as a matter of fact and you feel rejected and dejected to boot.  You don’t know about a lot of things that happened that resulted in you lost in the middle of nowhere sometime very early in the morning-you didn't know about that big banging noise that woke you up was actually your Uncle Yabba dive-bombing a mosquito, or that these too-thin walls though which you thought you heard your Uncle Yabba and Deputy Dusty ranting about some little pest that was starting to grate on them.

You didn't know that they were talking about a mosquito. But you did remember that earlier, after a very enthusiastic attempt to attack a mosquito that ended badly, that they were upset with you.

Typical upset adults, but you didn't know that upset adults is a natural  and inevitable part of growing up, and it did hurt you.  You've been shuffled around so much-New York, Tumbleweed, who knows where else you've been-it’s made you insecure, but you're not particularly self-aware of that.

All you know is that you drew the conclusion that those guys didn’t love you anymore, and that you should run away.

And that’s what you did.  Took off in the night with out  a peep.  It’s better this way, you told yourself.

You were planning to follow the train tracks, and that’s what you had been doing, as you learned that you weren't good at kicking cans, and just how long and desolate the tracks were.

And then, so you thought, salvation came in the form of two marshals (so they called themselves, and you didn't suspect for a second that they were train robbers who wanted to use you-which they were, sadly: You still don’t know that they just plain ditched you because they didn’t need y o u anymore, bot because yu didn’t live up to them) who needed ‘help’ ‘confiscating’ silver off a train.

You did it. You helped them. You thought that you were protecting the silver.  You wanted to help fight crime so, so badly.

They played you for a sucker, preying on your vulnerable state.

You don’t know any of this. You still trust them, and you think, even as they shoved you off the  horse the three of you had been sharing, after letting you ride for a while, and coldly telling you that you were no longer needed, that you failed somehow. You weren’t hurt physically from the fall.

You always had thick skin, again, in the physical sense. And in taunts, you were only untouchable as long the people you really cared about had your back.

But now it feels like nobody has your back.

You always did need validation.

And you think that you feel that you fell short in helping these two noble marshals somehow.

But you were without a purpose again, and nobody wanted you.

And, less importantly in your lonely mind, that mind barely noticing the tears silently dripping down your forlorn little face, that you were lost.

They had ditched you with no train tracks in sight.

So that is how, despite it being a hard, hard, hard night, you came to be staring up at the sky.

You had heard that stars could help you find your way, and so you're following them.

The stars seem so far away right now. But they're your only hope.

You won't know how long, but suddenly, you’ll see this message: A smoke signal! In the sky! A cry for help! From Yabba and Dusty!

You don't know it, but they never stopped loving you. They found your note-a note you never expected them to look twice at-and they got in their scooter and have been hunting the barren desert relentlessly to find you and bring you home.

If only you knew how much those two love you.

And they want you home.

The smoke signal came about when, after finally catching up with the criminals, which they last saw having you, and caught up with again after they ditched you, they were putting on a drag show with the intention to ambush and interrogate- which went wrong and now have been imprisoned.

They were there, when you robbed the train, gagged and out of sight.

Now they’re imprisoned again-they don’t know if you’ll cme-at best smene can come to the signal -generated courtesy of some smoky chili and Yabba’s incendiary stomach- they can continue to search for you. And if  

But if you knew, at that moment, that they saw you helping the train robbers you need not be afraid: Because they love you.

They knew you, and their only feelings were fear: Fear for you.

Not anger at you.  And a desire, a wish-not to punish you but to save you from a life of crime.

Because they love you.

So you run: Dropping your bindle stick in the process of your excitement, running, you just want to help:

Maybe they’ll even take you back if you do a good job, whatever they need!

It’s at this point you learn that the marshals who abandoned you were criminals.

It’s embarrassing and it must feel like your blood has turned to ice.

You're far too sincere and eager to do good to not feel ashamed. I know you.

But you push back your sadness, and shame, because I have seen too much inside you to know that despite you putting on a smile and piping out, that you didn't know and feel bad.

You put a mask on, because you think you know they wouldn't want to see you break and be honest about how truly torn up you are.

I think they knew you well enough to see through your mask and see you still, as the lost child you were-the lost child who ran away over a misunderstanding-and who now is trying and succeeding at keeping himself together.

You don't know it, but they already forgave you a long time ago.

Maybe even before they knew about this long, hard, night even happening.Possibly even before  they knew you.

That's how much they love you.

This is your part in the plan: You must roll a tumbleweed in front of the motorcycle with the bad guys speeding towards you.

It’s hard, but unlike some, they may have to rein you in and they understand your abilities fully. How you need guidance, not restraint. All you know, though, is that you can trust them.

There is an anvil hidden inside of the tumbleweed. They will underestimate that little tumbleweed pushed by that small puppy that they used, and they will drive their motorcycle into it and thus fall for the trap.You still don’t know how much Yabba and Dusty truly love you, you still think it was a happy coincidence you met again-and they don't realize how insecure you are-how you don't know how desperate they were to find you, not just catch the criminals. they don't realize how But they will soon. The plan will go without a hitch, thanks in part to your super strength and steely resolve.

You'll roll that anvil like a champ, like it really is just a dead, weak tumbleweed.They’ll underestimate it, just like they underestimated you. With the crooks caught and taken care of, it’s only you and Dusty and Yabba once more. The plan works. You really want to come home, and you think you did well-but didn’t you think you did well last time?

Maybe it would be better to leave.

Dusty and Yabba watch your sad self, but you've only gone a few feet before Dusty says something wonderful: “We couldn't get along without you,” and Yabba chimes in and they pick you up because they want you to know how much they love you: One for all, and all for one!

 3 down: 111 more to chronicle.