#fandom is supposed to be fun not whatever bullshit this is

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

This whole civil war on reading vs not reading comics is baffling to me. Like honestly this whole arguement is stupid.

Full disclosure before people come after me: I am a comic reader! I love reading comics (although I havent been able to read nearly as many as I would like)

Anyway yeah my whole 2 cents on this.

On one hand, I get why avid comic readers are annoyed. You're favorite character being what you perceive as wildly misinterpreted and being unable to find the content you want is annoying. But also it's so easy to just... click off? Like no one is forcing you to read it, just go find a different work instead of complaing to the author or whatever.

Also, comic characters have been written and rewritten by so many people and have had so many changes to their storylines and personality that a lot of stuff being argued as "not canon" very likely could have been at some point! And that's not even talking about other media like shows and movies.

The first example that comes to mind is Superboy (Conner "Kon" Kent). Comic Kon and Young Justice Cartoon Kon are drastically different in both personality and appearance. Comic Kon is the most bisexual coded person I've ever seen and Cartoon Kon is a grumpy asshole who looks like he stepped straight out of bootcamp. But guess what? Regardless of which one you like most both are canon in DC!

As far as I'm concerned, comic timelines and characters are a mess with or without other media types and we should be allowed to pick and choose whatever traits we want from it. Do I want Kon to have bisexual hair? Yes! Am I ignoring that Batman beats his kids in some runs? Also yes!

And because I saw a few complaints like these once before I'm going to address them.

"Character A can't be into this. It only happened like 1 time in the comics!"

Yeah but it happened. If people want to take that little hint of a trait and expand on it then power to them!

"Character A never actually had this role or did this so stop writing them like that!"

It's called a headcanon or an AU. This may be surprising to you, but both of these are common in fandom spaces. If that headcanon or AU is popular it's because people obviously like it. That person may not be you, and that's fine too! Just let them have their fun and leave to read something else.

And I'm not claiming to be innocent in all this btw! Lord knows I get loud and angry about many MCU fans' interpretation of Jake Lockley from Moon Knight. That being said, the reason I'm loud and angry isn't just "oh they made him less friendly and changed some personality traits". Its the fact that they interpret him as an "evil" alter which perpetuates hateful stereotypes about a very real and very stigmatized disorder with very little decent representation. The whole "Jake is an evil bloodthirsty alter" spreads those fearmongering ideas and has the potential to harm actual systems in the long run whether it's intended to or not. Disclaimer: I am not a system, but I do try my best to listen to what they have to say. By all means listen to their opinions on the situation over mine.

Even so, I don't go and yell directly at those creators. I click off. I don't have to read or look at their stuff if I don't want to.

Another complaint from comic readers I see a lot is "oh but it's so easy for them to just pick up a comic and read it! They are just being lazy/stubborn/etc." And honestly...

It's really not!

It took me YEARS to start reading comics because it was so overwhelming and I had no one to help me. Keeping track of all the comic runs is hard enough let alone actually finding and reading them. Comics are simply not well organized and it's hard to find a part to jump into when so many of them rely on prior knowledge.

"Well ask somebody who works at a comic bookstore!"

I did. He had no answers for me and looked like he would rather be talking to literally anyone else instead of a clueless 15 year old girl. Stepping into spaces like that can be intimidating in itself for a variety of reasons, let alone trying to ask for help. Online it's not always much better. So many people won't give an honest recommendation and others won't be specific enough. Many comic runs have similar titles, and honestly it's best if you just know the name of the writer.

Trying to break into comics is just genuinely difficult for a lot of people depending on their situations whether it be enviornmental, financial, or mental.

Also you can't just force someone to read the comics! If they don't want to and just want to watch the shows or absorb fanon content then that's their preference! You don't have to interact with it! Am I saying that no one should read comics? No! But I am saying that not everyone has the same accessibility and the way some comic readers treat these people isn't doing favors. Attacking them over stuff and getting annoyed at them isn't going to encourage them to pick up a comic and read it but rather push them away from something really fun.

Okay now that's out of the way, time for me to turn my sights on the "not reading" camp.

You can't just attack people for suggesting canonical content under your prompts. Unless they are being a dick about it. Then you can go ham. But if someone is coming in like "hey btw A is a thing that happens canonically and it might be fun to do!" then there is no reason for you to act like they just ate your baby!

It is also not completely unreasonable for someone to simply suggest that you try out a comic or two (provided that they are being polite and are actually willing to help you with clear reccomendations). There is no reason for you to get pissy at them, just as it is not a requirement for you to take up their advice. If you don't want to read it or can't currently that's fine, but just know that you have the potential to be introduced to something you really enjoy and that consuming canon content will more than likely help you with your writing!

[crystalkiseki]

shipping is fun until you act as if not dating anyone is miserable and pathetic

[flamingpudding]

Fictober23 Prompt: 20 - "This better be good."

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: T

Warnings: -

A green Vortex swirled in front of them and Constantine held his breath. This was not like any of the summonses he usually did. He looked over his shoulder at the others present, wondering if he could somehow bullshit his way out of this. But one thing was clear, whatever he had summoned was not one of his demons.

The Vortex continued to swirl before them, slowly greenish smoke started to rise out of him. Then suddenly a melody started to echo around them and Constantine felt like face palming.

"Uh… isn't this the Melody of This is Halloween?" The Flash asked aloud, exchanging glances with the others present.

"Constantine." Great Bats was getting grumpy, the JL Dark member thought, refusing to turn around to face any of the heroes. Ignoring them might make them stop questioning what was happening with this summon. It wasn't like there were any pressing situations, forcing this summon in hopes to prevent whatever interdimensional war Trigon was about to start. No, they hadn't forced him out and away from the curse he had been working on. Not like there were other members of the JL Dark, Constantine clearly knew the big bad Bat liked to work more with than him.

Humming resounded from the vortex now too, clearly depicting the chorus of the well known Halloween song, and John's eye twitched. The fuck kinda demon spirit did he summon now? Was whatever he summoned making fun of him just because that being got summoned in October? The rising smoke started to move, taking on a shape that appeared more humanoid as the humming started to become clearer though it sounded like it was filtered through static as it still sounded somewhat distorted.

"Shadow is the one hiding under your bed, teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing green! Spectra is the one hiding under your stairs, fingers like snakes and spiders in her hair."

The voice echoed sounding like a mix of static and white noise but became clearer the more or the green smoke escaped from the vortex. None of them really knew what was going on and Constantine was cursing up a storm in his mind. What the hell was happening right now, he just wanted to get the Spirit of Balance to help them out with Trigon? They were supposed to symbolize balance, surely they would have the easiest time to fix that imbalance the demon was about to wreck across dimensions.

"In this zone we call home, everyone hails to the ghost-like song! In this zone, don't we love it now? Clockworks' waiting for the next surprise!" The smoke was twirling around and moving like they were picking something up from inside the vortex, its shape still smokey but slowly Constantine was able to make out certain shapes of the head and arms as the voice continued to hum and then sing the static was more and more receding.

"Freakshow is the clown with the thermos to his face, sucked up in a flash and gone without a trace. I am the who when you call, 'Who's there?'. Dani is the wind blowing through your hair. Dan is the shadow on the moon at night, Frighty filling your dreams to the brim with fright!" The voice was now very clear, no interference, the smoke had fully formed a human-like body and appeared to be a white haired teen boy, though John noted, his summon was turned with his back to them appearing not to notice him or the heroes in the room and holding… Was that a Halloween party garland?

"This is Halloween, this is Hallo- who the fuck are you guys?" Mid lyrics the kid appeared to have turned around his arms raised like he was going to hang the garland of cut out pumpkins on a wall. White green eyes stared at them before the summoned eyes went to the garland in his hands that were then quickly hidden behind the teens back.

"Spirit of balance-"

"It's Ancient actually."

The spirit, ancient, cut in and Constantine hurried to correct his mistake. "Ancient of balance, we are the Justice League and have summoned you to seek your help…" Constantine started his usual spiel, ignoring Green Lantern's mutter of if that kid really was the spirit of balance as well as the judging looks and burning glare he felt on his back from Batman. He was not going over with them again about the fact that demon, spirits, ghost and the likes can look like whatever the fuck they wanted.

"Okay, stop!" The summoned teen held up a hand before John could continue. "I was in the middle of an important Halloween themed stabilization party preparation! To finally celebrate Dan after Dani pestered him for months! So this better be good, to get in the way of my first fight free weekend in years!"

"A war with demons is about to start." Constantine's head whipped around to glare at Batman, does he need to hold another course of how to properly communicate with interdimensional beings?

"That's Demon Realm Issues, not Ghost related. Could you humans stop mixing us up? I am not even from the same dimension as them and we have enough troubles with them breaching the Ghost Zone borders every month!" The summoned teen arched an eyebrow at them, crossing his arms and bringing that damned Halloween garland back into view again. They clearly didn't want to be here and if Constantine knew anything about unwilling summons then one wrong world could screw them all over right now.

"Trigon is the one starting it." Batman added and once more the JL Dark member sent the Dark knight a seething glare. That hypocrite put him through a lecture about hero behavior and cautions before, John would return the favor once the crisis was handled.

"Trigon?" His head whipped around to look at the suddenly very interested ancient of balance floating over to Batman.

"What did that big toddler do now?" It appeared like the Ancient was talking to themselves more than them as he crossed his arms completely forgetting about the wall decoration in his hands as they tilted their head in thoughts and started to ignore them. They were mumbling something John couldn't hear, for once he wished Superman was around so he could tell them with his super hearing.

"I have no idea who you guys are but, fine! I will help but only because Dan mentioned wanting to fight that overgrown toddler again. That's going to be his stabilizing day present! He can't complain this way that I got him something lame."

Constantine was about to sigh a breath of relief until he noticed the Ancient of Balance opening a good damn vortex and pulling out a snarling, red glowing eyed and blue flamed haired spirit by the neck. He paled then realizing that the being of balance just pulled the Spirit er Ancient of Wrath into their dimension. John then also noticed what appeared to be a little girl hanging like a koala of Wrath's back and then remembered a passage in the summoning text of the Spirit of Balance, he apparently had carelessly ignored.

Summoning Balance, Wrath and Mischief always stuck together. Sweating heavily, Constntine ignored any and all looks sent his way, because he was sure he might have just doomed their Dimension or at least plunged them into chaos for the time being.

[iiapple]

do you hate knife as a character or what the fandom/his relationship with suitcase has turned into /genq

both

theres aspects to him i enjoy though usually its paired with another character's interactions with the general juvenile violence in season 1 - early season 2. knife and trophy's whole deal is so ridiculously stupid its laughable but in an enjoyable way where im kinda entertained. it can make for a lot of funny interactions that are just jabs at one another (and trophy getting the short end of the dick which is always funny). he and pickle are fun too even without the romancey shippinf component, they can be at a base just stupid gay bros that chill. while he was caught up in mic's business and did lend a hand in her arc, i do prefer how it is now where again, its just slight jabs and non melodramatic fun (add in soap to grill his ass, soapmic knickle video game sesh and soap is crushing everyone at it like hell)

however its the push of him needing to be this "philosophical deep guy who analyzes everyone correctly and its soooooo interesting how much hes changed" that really irks me. because i honestly dont buy it and just see a man who self pities under the guise of "learning and growing i help others now because ive changed". hes like balloon to me in that sense except hes able to keep it composed and together without becoming outwardly desperate. its honestly irritating how much of an involvement he has now and again, how much of a push there is to him being in the top 2 after "all his growth". i just dont give a fuck. why should i give a fuck about a man who burnt and harassed and bullied and tortured a woman in season 1 for fun, and had others try to join in on it too? and the GALL of him to even apologize to marshmallow for it too LOOOOOL... "ohhhh poor me im sorry marshmallow for hurting you before" pussy couldnt even state what he did to her, weak ass self fellating apology im SO glad marsh didnt accept it and was NOT kind about it in front of him. she shouldve start throwing rocks at him. all this "change and teaching" i will never forgive that man for what he did to women

not to mention, how practically of little to no help he was towards suitcase who, was dealing with bigger issues than he was as if hes fuckin get it. such bullshit advice and "lessons" hed tell her when its like dude, shut the hell up!!! youre saying the dumbest shit and still pinning it all against her somehow when shes been tossed around her supposed alliance because those 3 idiots couldnt get shit together for once. that AND her psychosis coming onto the foreground of it all of course shes not gonna talk about it further because you keep pushing in shit that she has no fault in, as if shedve trust you with that. its sweet that theyre working now against everything now but god lol, i just dont buy their newfound ammends and friendship of sort personally

what the fandom has done is REALLY hyopcritical. now im not gonna say its every single person who does this, nor am i a fan of monolith-ing (?) a group of people because of a common pattern, but its just really REALLY funny seeing people going after pairings like lairy or whatever saying its "proship" while shipping a man who has a history of violence on women with a psychotic woman who he has offered piss poor assistance to in the name of his own weird beliefs of changing and helping. idgaf for discourse around a bunch of pixels over trivial shit that really isnt THAT big of an issue (lairy discourse), especially because well, theyre wrong as fuck, but how are people gonna say one thing then turn around and do The Same Shit under another flavour. knifecase is such a kick in the balls to women and another example of how fandom greatly prefers men over women WHATEVER the situation is. theyll fawn over a man whos done shit and think "yeah hes my poor onglydoople poop. only HE suffers in this work of media" while greatly ignoring the issues the women in the same piece of work deal with by writing (misogyny) and circumstances (misogyny again). this world is founded immensely on misogyny and we're never getting the fuck out of it and while yeah im ranting about object character violence being sexist/misogynistic, you gotta get that its all a repeated pattern of these behaviours these mentalities this culture. you can argue one thing about writers intentions and beliefs, we dont know these people well enough to point fingers and label. however, how are YOU digesting it? shitting it out? what is your overall take and without using gay fandom buzzwords and misogynist thinking describe the women in the show (rhetorical)

[antifathomable-shapeshifter]

miguel o hara is a lameass. he's not cool. he tries way too hard to look cool, but he is fundemently a lameass. very important part of his character that people who objectify him miss in their lust for his shoulders or whatever.

like guys. did you even watch the movie or did your brain turn off when Hot Guy Was Bad Boy?

its the same thing with spot. you cannot trust what these two say. spot blames miles for things he did to himself and miguel blames miles for things he doesn't have proof for (and also did to himself). others have said it before, but anomalies aren't actually a problem/threat to the multi-verse.

like, take pav and his captain. if the captain died there, that would have been an anomaly! because his death was directly caused by spot, who is definitely an anomaly. like. spot wasn't supposed to be there, and the captain wouldn't have been in any danger if he hadn't been.

miguel is coping hard with bullshit half-formed theories becuase he's lame as shit. he's just also hot&brooding so people don't pay attention to his actual character which is so much more interesting. the movie constantly makes fun of him if you bother to pay attention to, yknow, the story??

i can't stand big fandoms, ngl. its like no one actually cares about the source material in them.

[clonebrainrot]

lol do you ever see a post on the internet that is directed at an opinion that you hold very deeply and it’s taking the opposite side of that opinion and ever wonder? Did I in part inspire this post? Probably not. As many people share the same opinions. But it’s something that flutters across my mind every once in a while.

I do wish more people shared their opinions about all sorts of things. The clash of opinion and thought will only make for a better conversation. Would be a pretty boring life if we all agreed on something.

Hell you see that philosophy in my posts itself. I love the bad batch and a majority of Star Wars. But I will critique all of Star Wars very openly. I will admit that the bad batch’s weakest points was emotional moments with crosshair. There were key moments that the writers just skipped over. (There were others they did not) but that’s a story for another post)

Point being whatever your opinion is share it. I’ll probably not agree, but that’s kinda the point right? That’s where I get like a solid 30% of my fun. Debating random bullshit about Star Wars on Reddit. Or whatever.

And hey you might even change someone’s mind. I am pretty set in my ways on issues, but I have been known to change my mind if the argument is compelling enough. I think posts on this very platform helped make Kanan one of my favorite Star Wars characters back when rebels was airing.

But you know never take it all to seriously and I know I say this about everything. But fandom is supposed to be fun. If you aren’t having fun you’re doing it wrong and that’s my opinion. (See full circle)

Also if you’re curious this post was triggered by a post I saw in a discord server I am apart of.

I don’t know how many times I’ll post about different ways having fun in fandom is imoortant, but I will never get tired of dissecting fandom more meta than not.

[sgiandubh]

Hello! I am Caitriona anon. My ask was prompted by a comment from succulently speaking who commented in your post a few days ago “what has Sam done wrong and what exactly do you want him to do”? You responded he needed to step up his game. That’s why I asked about Caitriona because I thought it funny how much you post about Sam and what he should or shouldn’t be doing and I thought, I wonder why Caitriona doesn’t get that same treatment? I've been following you since you got here. I understand your position. My only quibble is I don’t think of them as one entity and I think Cait especially has pushed against this for years. She’s offended at the notion. As I said, of course it's your blog and you can post whatever you'd like and certainly don't owe me an explanation, but I thank you for the one you gave anyway. I’ll continue to read you because I enjoy you. I hope I didn’t offend or that I was impertinent.

Dear (returning) Caitriona Anon,

For an Anti, you sound pretty literate and polite. So, I am going to answer you and try to keep this dialogue line open. Try me: keeping dialogues open is my bread and butter, IRL. Has been so for twenty years.

Thank you for understanding my position, but I do not really need to be 'understood', like a minor Romantic poet by his posterity. I try very hard to rationalize yours and I believe it is your constitutional right to believe what you want about this saga. Conversely, it is my prerogative to believe exactly what I want about it, based on what I do consider to be relevant facts. Not social media, press circus or PR induced tacky blogger manipulation.

Having said that, it is also my constitutional right to express my opinions and try to encourage others to do so, in a no-drama, friendly environment. It would also seem that determined Mordor to marginally step up their game, for I seem to be the nightmare these people collectively manifested every single time they howled 'the shippers are stupid', on full moon nights.

Shippers are everything but stupid, pumpkin. They are witty, funny and completely immunized to bullshit. For rhetoric bullshit with honors is your question: why Caitriona doesn’t get that same treatment?

You know very well why and I am going to tell you a Romanian proverb: cine nu muncește, nu greșește. Loosely translated: no work, no mistakes. How do you want me to say anything about a statue, who doesn't show us anything else about her life anymore, spare her outfits, her make-up and some rare events, with or sans the PA? Oh, and marGINally, her erratic business projects, for ever ongoing, hinted and never ever, God forbid, materialized? SAG-AFTRA strike? News of it never seemed to have made it to Caitrionaland. Israel-Palestine conflict? Prudent silence, but hello Tilda, darling, how are you. Ukraine? Last I heard/seen, a short appeal for helping the refugees and then crickets. Women's rights? Again, a short snippet on Persia, then mum. Just what the fuck is this supposed to be? Surely not a coherent PR strategy for a gifted, intelligent and fun (yes, fun!!) 44 year old actress who wants to keep her lucky strike going on! Let me tell you: she doesn't come across as dignified. She comes across as despising, condescending and entitled. Too cool for school, too sexy for your car, peons.

She is not Queen Victoria, for crying out loud, and we are definitely not amused!

You then proceed to say 'she pushed against it for years'? Please, do not insult my intelligence! She pushed against shippers who deface the nice Narrative, when she needed sympathy and massive support for her Belfast promo, unwittingly making a major PR blunder and for ever fracturing this fandom in at least two savagely antagonistic camps. Then, a cold, totally DGAF attitude, including towards her stans: tough to be her stan, when your Goddess is more silent than a Poor Clare (pun totally intended) nun! And she denied being an item with S (which is a complete, pious lie), because that is the Narrative, ever since IFH.

So, it's safe to say: yes, public Caitriona Balfe is dismissive of the notion, but since when is social media indicative of an undeniable or even intimate truth, especially in that particular world of hers? Oh, and by the way: sorry to be pedantic, but - it's offended by the notion, not 'at the notion'. Simple curiosity: you translate your thoughts from which language, exactly? My bet would be either German: bei, or Russian: обидеться на - yes: literally 'offended at'.

My complete Romanian proverb includes a conclusion. In full, it would be: cine nu muncește, nu greșește, dar nici nu reușește. No work, no mistake, no success.

How I wish to be proven wrong, Anon, on that one: you can't even imagine! Thank you for the time you took to answer me. I am afraid we agree to disagree. Change my mind? Not in a million years.

[tevantarlos]

The buddie fandom need to knock it off with berating the writers, actors, and producers of 911 about making buddie canon. Keep pushing for something that wasn't suppose to happened and you get the shitstorm that was Cas confessing to Dean before dying and the show ending. and no one wants that.

I can't see buddie being canon and them still working the same shift or in the same station. not saying they can't, I just don't see it happening. The only way I can see buddie becoming canon is at the VERY end of series, either with a destiel bullshit or when them ending with asking the other out for dinner and the show ends before we see the date.

I also feel like even if buddie does become canon, whatever they put on the show isn't going to be nearly as satisfying as what they have made up in their heads or in fanfiction. everyone is going to be at least a little disappointing.

Liking a ship is all fine and fun but making it the whole reason to watch a show to the point of having so much hate, is just stupid. They need to chil the fuck out.

I don't consider Destiel canon. Just because Cas told Dean he was in love with him, doesn't make it actual canon. It makes Cas being in love with Dean, canon. Dean never said I love you, back. Now, anyone who's watched the show, knows that Dean loves Cas. In the same way that Cas loves Sam. As family. But the fuckery that went on in tonight's episode of 911, and they're basically just saying, 'fuck you,' to the fans, is bullshit. What's the fucking point of even bringing Tommy back, talking up how great things are going for BuckTommy, and then dropping this steaming pile of shit, on their fans? They should've just used Josh for Buck's Bi awakening if this was the fucking plan all along. I love Buck, I love Tommy, and I love BuckTommy. I used to be a Buddie fan before their asshole fans ruined my enjoyment of that ship. At this point, despite being pissed off as hell about this bullshit, I will continue to watch the show. For now. I love Bathena, Henren, and Madney. BUT, if Tim and 911 make Buddie canon and reward those psycho assholes with Buddie, after they've been such horrible trolls, I'll drop this fucking show like you won't believe, and will just write fics for every OTHER ship except Buddie. My thoughts on Buddie, before this episode and even more so after tonight's fuckery, are this: Be careful what you wish for, Buddie shippers. You might just get Buddie canon. But if you do, there's ALWAYS the chance that Tim will fuck it up, and it'll even ruin Buck and Eddie's friendship.

That shit happened on Glee with Blaine, and it pissed me off as Blaine and Sebastian were and still are my favorite Glee characters. Fuck Kurt. Fuck Karofsky. Fuck Tim for doing this bullshit.

[olderthannetfic]

The thing about endotwracism and its players is we've seen this before. And it's played out like so many hollow call to actions, darvo pulling, rules for thee but not for me and if you disagree you're racist situations. Exactly the same.

And honestly, I think people are fucking tired of having their heads bit off by people who do no better themselves, who demand change but are unwilling to help do the work for it, and are taken to task for now swallowing whatever bullshit is trotted out as gospel truth because how dare people have different perspectives informed by their experiences and identities and how very dare people think for themselves and ask questions.

And all this shit does is destroy fandoms and drive people away.

In my fandom, I've seen this fandom-as-activism basically kill fic and art being made for a particular character, a black character. A pity because they're wonderful and they deserves so much. But their stans have made it so hostile, so toxic and such a gamble to make anything for them unless you repeat their talking points word for word. The problem with that is they contradict themselves. The character can't be a top but don't you make them a bottom, they have a right to be angry but don't you show them angry cos that's a bad stereotype, they've gotta be nice but you're racist if you show them giving a shit for their co-leads because that's another stereotype. And the end result you see is this wonderfully complex, competent, compassionate BADASS of a character reduced to a shadow caricature of who they are.

And folks wonder why there's no one writing fic for them.

There's no denying how insidious and awful racism is and yeah, there's racist bullshit in this space, and people want to do better, but anyone that's tried, has been shut down. Anyone that crosses a line accidentally gets mobbed with anons, hate messages and insuts. Over and over, good intentions and attempts that don't quite line up with the exact image someone has in their heads gets punished with abuse, and it IS abuse, and god help you if you object to the 'righteous' abuse.

So why fucking try? Why take the risk when fandom is supposed to be fun and creative?

Like it or not, fandom is a community space, and keep a community healthy, changing a community for the better means conversation, doing the work with others, but when you lash out at the willing... Don't be surprised when they leave.

also OTNF, thanks for everything. Im sure you're sick of this and believe me, so many of us are sick of it too.

--

I think everyone is very, very tired.

[cboffshore]

Back when I started writing An Evening with Operation: Cortado, I made myself a little promise: every time I felt grouchy about something and felt the need to vent (not even always fandom related, tbh, sometimes it was just silly everyday stuff), I would vent and then follow up with a bit of worldbuilding for the fic. Anything at all to redirect the grouchy energy.

Well. I've been grumpy lately, about a lot of things and places and events, and I have fallen behind on my atonement. However, I'm solidly in OSSAS season on my writing calendar, which means pure Cortado thinking isn't on the table.

So, to make sure I hit both targets: I'm going to blather about my OC Landon for a while. And then it's going to turn weirdly dramatic and poignant, I think, but... it's worth it, I promise.

(Note: if you are not caught up on the OSSAS series or Cortado, OR are not in the market for potential spoilers for either of those, do not proceed beyond this point until those are no longer true statements for you. This is about to spoil both some in-text and meta stuff for both works, and also won't make sense without knowing either of those. Also, some of this may be subject to change; this is where Landon sits right now.)

So, if you need a refresher, here's

History of Landon 101 - Meta Studies

While working on Coughing Up Feathers, I needed a named background pirate for Nadakhan to address... By name. I didn't like any of the background mook options, so I decided a homemade OC would be better. As a show reference and a small apology for how much bullshit I was about to put Nadakhan through, I decided to make the episode 61 crew naming dream a reality and just... give him a guy who was already named Landon. It was funnier than just pulling one of the background minifigures from a set and using them, at least, and it ended up being useful for If I Can Think (Of Something Clever).

That's as far as it was ever supposed to go. Until Cortado hit, and I needed people to populate the Skybound Death Club, and I thought... hey. He'd have a fun insider crew perspective. And there he was! Of course, even though I never use it in Cortado (and idk if I'll have space to), that meant cooking up a backstory for him, just like I did for everyone else around that table. So, for the first time ever:

Here's how Landon ended up on the pirate crew (aka History of Landon 102 - In-Universe)

Circa episode 61 - after the Landon crewmate mission flops and it's established the Keep is accepting any civilian that makes it up and wants to be there - Landon is a perfectly normal, somewhat aimless, fresh out of high school guy still a little woozy from a yearlong bout of senioritis. He's either on a gap year or just waiting to head off to college, where he'll major in Undecided and waffle about a Miscellaneous minor for a while; he doesn't know. I don't know, either. For now, Landon's just doing whatever catches his eye (and can be financed on a low-paying summer job taking tickets at the history museum).

Anyway, he's off doing Stupid Teenager Shit with his buddies (nothing criminal - maybe goofing around on a playground after it's closed, leaf blower on a merry-go-round type Stupid Teenager Shit. A few notches under whatever made Gerard Way write "Teenagers"), and naturally: they get around to chatting about the bizarre stuff going on in the city around them. Specifically: the landmasses going missing, and those big moving dark spots above the clouds, and if there's a link - or if it's just two competing alien factions trying to out-weird each other.

In fact... there's a piece of lawn slowly tearing itself out of the ground twenty feet away. Right now.

Seeing this, someone goes: hey. Here's an idea. Whoever falls off the merry-go-leafblower first has to get on that chunk of land and see where it goes. Who's in?

All hands shoot up. Everyone here is into Stupid Teenager Shit, after all, and this sounds like the qualifier round for the Stupid Teenager Shit Tournament. Landon revs up the leafblower and everyone clambers on.

I feel like you can fill in the blanks from there.

Anyway, Landon makes it all the way up, and gets onto the crew - with honors, based on the gleam in the weird floaty captain's eye once he tells him his name. No resume, no interview - he's immediately on first-name basis here and has no idea why, but hey, it beats taking tickets for temp exhibits!

With that, and the brief, bizarre career in piracy that follows: Landon wins the Stupid Teenager Shit Tournament, and nobody down on the merry-go-leafblower ever finds out. Reset and all that.

Which segues nicely into the big thing I wanted to wax poetic about:

What's Landon up to after the reset?

Minor Witness spoilers (or maybe not - I have no clue if I'll even be able to write this in): getting whacked by a soul slurping sword is kind of a life-changing event if you remember it. Cortado rules hold that those who are dead at the time of the reset are the ones who might remember it (this is to keep all those EMs in there out of the party, just because I can), and Landon - patron saint of plot convenience - gets lucky! The sword prison counts as being dead, or at least dead enough to land him back on the high school stage when the reset kicks in during graduation, all his memories intact. And that's a weird, weird feeling, to know that somewhere in this existence, you have technically been dead before you were ever handed your diploma. (I think. I've never experienced that but I'm sure it would be odd.)

His first thought: okay. I'm not going to any playgrounds after dark this summer.

His second thought: maybe I'll major in history. Figure out what that crew's deal really was.

Landon manages to keep the summer museum job going strong; he finds he likes the art wing best, and he takes that to college with him: history major with as many Era of the Stone Warrior specialities as possible, art minor for the fun of it (and for the very legitimate underwater basketweaving elective). Once or twice, he asks his classmates if anyone's even seen a pirate recently or lost a parking space to the sky, but nothing takes.

He starts to wonder if maybe he just spaced out during graduation and dreamt it all up.

But it feels so real. And he's paid all that tuition money in pursuit of answers, so... why not see where it goes?

How about after The Merge? How'd he find the club?

In the Cortado timeline, Dragons Rising (when the fic takes place) happens approximately ten years after Skybound would have. This gives Landon enough time to finish his four year bachelor's (maybe five - he seems a super senior type) and get well into a graduate program. Surprise, surprise: he's got an era picked out and he's studying art history and artifact dating front that era, all those unanswered questions about his deleted experience on the brink of being solved.

As such, his internship hours place him as a materials analyst and research assistant at some Crossroads-based inter-realm art preservation museum institute thing. I haven't picked a good name yet. Sue me. Anyway, he's enjoying his work, but nothing's really standing out to him... until his staff advisor tells him they've got a special assignment for him to lead a team on. They bring him to a small, one-painting exhibit, almost entirely set up... except for the plaque. That's where Landon comes in, because nobody else on staff has been able to get it, and there's some stuff in here that kinda lines up with his chosen focus era, right? Why not throw the intern at it, see if he sticks and can come up with something informative?

Anyway, Landon and his advisor round the corner and see this:

(Why? Because Landon is MY OC and I get to choose which of my works he interacts with. It's pretty much all of the Skybound related ones, by the way; they're all connected because I say so.)

Despite this painting being entirely anachronistic and making no sense... Landon's seen it before. Something like it, anyway, or someone, in the flesh and at a fitting she did not want to attend, and a much lamer outfit...

Oh, yeah. That's a thesis project if he's ever seen one.

Every time he sees the portrait during research sessions, he swears the veil gets longer. Or shorter. Or floatier. It moves a lot despite there being no draft in its little nook. Nobody else he's asked seems to be able to track the veil's changes, or even notice, but Landon doesn't really mind. When it hits the floor, he can sneak an extra sample for chemical analysis, and nobody knows... so it's fine. It's not haunted, probably, and hey, he gets to do the research and write the plaque and cut the ribbon when the exhibit opens! That's cool!

And then one day: he's doing some followup research during a normal museum day, holding impromptu discussions with everyone who stops in for a look and jotting down any comments about the veil. Mostly, he's just explaining how nobody knows how the veil is attached, or who painted it - until there's a girl in a band tee who comes by three days in a row, and every time, she takes a little longer with it than the other visitors. She's got a head of seafoam-shaded braids and a question on the third day that makes Landon's heart just about stop:

"What's up with the veil? It was touching the floor yesterday, and the day before, but now it's barely past the frame."

They get to talking. Landon lets her in on a secret: nobody else has ever asked. No, never! Maybe nobody else has ever noticed. Why her? Does she remember things nobody else seems to be able to see, he jokes?

Turns out: she does. And, apparently, so do a handful of others, and this girl is friends with all of them.

It's Wednesday night, and the museum closes at seven. After a breathless half-an-hour speed walk to the artsy district downtown, Landon steps into the CrossRoast, and for the first time, he realizes... it's not just him who remembers things nobody else can see.

And it never, ever has been.

(And, uh... Yeah. I've been meaning to make that link official for a while now. I had more to say about Landon, I think, but I really wanted that backstory out more than anything. If I remember my other points, I'll make them.So, until I get to updating Cortado again: take this instead of a proper chapter. Hope you had fun! I sure did!)

[sharonisthebettercarter]

we need to have an honest conversation about hostile attribution bias, honesty, and bullying.

@deliciouskeys i've had enough of this shit. you wanted to piss me off. now i'm pissed the fuck off.

hey, hiiii. friends of hers? critics? whoever you are reading this and willing to hear me out, i just wanna start by saying don't hate on her or anyone for this. don't send harassment, don't send anon hate, don't even unfollow her if you do read this all the way and find yourself upset with the topics discussed or her actions.

or maybe you wouldn't anyway, and you've already decided i'm insane, fine. but if you are friends of hers, don't barrage her with verbal abuse of any kind even if you are disappointed or disgusted, i'm not about that. and good friends won't just coddle and take your side to enable the bullshit, but they won't try to hurt you when you're down either

and to clarify what this is? it is a harsh criticism of ongoing behavior i have faced from her behind the scenes. or out in the open i suppose but mostly unseen or dismissed.

yes, i have the motherfucking receipts. i've tried to condense them to what i found most relevant to the topics at hand without clipping the interactions so much that they would give a biased misrepresentation, but all conversations as of this moment and to the best of my knowledge are still available to view in full context. mine certainly won't be deleted.

i may have some bad takes sometimes cause i'm as perfect as anyone, which is to say NOT AT ALL. but i'll readily admit that and the fact that i work on it, CONSTANTLY. and before anyone decides to dig through my shit to see if they can find dirt on me IRRELEVANT to this situation to DISTRACT from what's being called out?

all i ask is a fair chance and moment of your time to show you what i've been through, because it's something she never gave me from day one. and bear in mind please, that i am pissed off because it's gone on long enough and now she's trying to drag my friends into it while CONTINUING TO LIE BEHIND MY BACK and feign fucking ignorance.

no more.

deliciouskeys? you. yes you, i am addressing you directly this time. i gave you a peace offering with the mike sully meme, and you just kept going.

since i poked my head into the boys fandom, you have been hostile to me, LIED about me, put words in my mouth, accused me of hostility towards you, assumed my intent while not only withholding the benefit of a doubt, but consistently. consistently putting me down and insulting me as some sort of estranged fandom villain who only exists or popped up to oppose you or ruin everything.

i'm not a fucking cartoon character, i am a person. i do not exist to supplant you or whatever weird shit you keep imagining me to be that makes you act like this.

almost every single thing i say to you, instead of actually LISTENING or i dunno, READING IT AT FACE VALUE, you take. hyperanalyze. and immediately give it the WORST interpretation you can. and that's if i'm lucky.

i'm not here for fandom wars and shipping bullshit. i'm not here for your false dichotomy fantasy. i'm here to be a bullshit shipper and have fun and try to get others to be more open and have fun too. maybe throw in a psa here and there for the things i find important.

i'm not here to get fucking bullied either or to watch others get bullied. you can take your assumed hostility and narcissistic PROJECTION and shove it straight up your ass if you think i'm going to tolerate it.

and what is 'hostile attribution bias'? it's this shit.

oh, and you don't have to assume it anymore. i'm fucking hostile. why am i hostile? oh... at this point, i KNOW you KNOW. but not everyone else does, so let's just lay it all out and let others draw their own conclusions. hm?

this was what set you off, right? the automatic assumption that this was someone i knew, looking out for me? i suppose that's possible but that doesn't mean i know exactly who it was or that i put them up to it.

and y'know, i might have even said that anon was a bit harsh and still given you the benefit of a doubt. anon was ANGRY and that's clear, but plausible deniability is so wonderful, isn't it?

but you've gone beyond that point. it wouldn't be the first time someone's noticed your behavior, and i can guarantee that. our first conversation was on my post about the comics and what they meant to me, sparked from an interaction i had with another fan of the show who refused to read the comics but still insulted them directly to me.

the bottom piece is from the post, the top would be the snippet of conversation with the other person prior. all of these are highlighted with slightly adjusted coloring for ease of understanding who's who. and granted, you could argue that i jumped the gun in my first response to you, but then you accused me of being hostile towards people who allegedly read and disliked them. and i had done no such thing, i literally was not addressing those people at all.

that was the first time you put words in my mouth, lied about what i said, and 'villainized' me for 'attacking people' made of straw i might add, when the post itself SPECIFICALLY STATED:

MISCONCEPTION.

so not the people, but the IDEA. an actually legitimately incorrect idea given context. i could go into a rant about how the comics cover one of the single most important and detrimental concepts to humanity (the war machine) and how american media is so piss watered down, propagandized and censored for babies and pearl clutching old people (and before you clutch your pearls over me 'attacking' babies and the elderly, i am not. i am criticizing AMERICAN MEDIA and PURITAN MENTALITY) that the comic itself was relatively tame outside of the american world view bubble, but that's not the point here, is it.

the 'many many' actually refers to people off of tumblr too, though i'm sure there's a fair share here of that mindset as it's found everywhere with everything. even then, i don't condemn the people. minds can be changed for ideas, that was what i was trying to do. maybe i need better methods and i can admit that.

still you chose to lie to my face or what, attempt to gaslight me?? whatever it was, it was enough for someone ELSE to step in and literally ask if you were BULLYING me.

and me, being the naive fucking moron that i am and thinking we ended on a nice punny note and the conversation wasn't so bad STILL gave YOU the benefit of a doubt.

did you extend the same courtesy to me later on? well, let's see.

no. no you did not. snippets of a convo from an anon ask you got on a proposed canon butchlander from when i tried to join in, you immediately accused me of things i have never said or done or even implied. and when i called you out on it, you immediately apologized (good on you, not included here but i DO acknowledge it and DID appreciate it) and i thought, "oh cool! we must be explaining ourselves to try and better understand each other so this doesn't happen again."

only for you to then backtrack and jump back on that ASSUMED HOSTILITY shit you seem to just LOVE huffing. but just for me i gather. maybe a couple others that i haven't seen or don't know about.

considering this is just the stuff i DO know about.

moving on.

you have questions? oh, what a cowinkydink, i have answers. if only you had just ASKED ME DIRECTLY INSTEAD OF PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH AND LYING.

but to give some clarification to the numbered ones.

love the framing here. OF COURSE, WE are ONLY here to be a NUISANCE. must be nice being a real human who can interact with others instead of solely "bother" them. if you'd actually read the post, you might have seen it was about the BULLYING itself, not the bullshit that apparently makes you rabid enough to be a bully. great use of being obtuse.

stop putting words in my mouth. stop fucking lying about me. stop assuming my intentions. stop painting me for your weird ass personal agenda or vendetta. stop making up bullshit about me when you haven't taken two seconds to get to know me. i did no such thing as 'slur the cishets'. proof is in the fucking pudding.

ahhh... i understand why you don't block people. and i think i'm understanding the insidious behavior and bullying too. you're disgusting to people who you don't want to see the content of so that they'll block you while you get to pretend you're still on your little high horse of being the "less petty" or "bigger" person. and that way you don't have to see their content anymore, right? having your cake, and eating it too. it's smart. it looks good on you as long as people don't see the behavior, like you might actually want to solve problems.

although, if i'm to understand all this correctly, you don't want to given the continued hostility towards me regardless of what i do or say. am i getting this, more of that delectable plausible deniability? or am i giving you too much credit? do you even want the benefit of a doubt at this point? because you stated before you'd rather be considered evil than stupid.

oh, my mistake, "disgusting" than "ignorant". let me not do what you do and put words in your mouth. clarify for me, if you want to.

personally, i think ignorance is more forgivable than malice because at least the uninformed can learn better, while those with ill intent will seek to harm again, but to each their own i guess.

and if you actually have brain damage over a nonsensical but ultimately harmless shit joke online, i'd suggest seeking actual help from a doctor because that isn't normal. but i'm going to be generous and say maybe it was a bit much or gave you a recurring nightmare or something, i don't know you, in which case yeah, get help if you need it. i take mental health very seriously so i'm not joking or being sarcastic here. happy healing and sorry for the trouble if that's the case on this specific thing.

but oh! you just don't want to see it, right? TOO BAD BITCH, I GOT MORE TO GIVE AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!!

and i don't have a problem with you writing your personal views about a pairing, any pairing. if that were all you had done, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation or, if you don't care i suppose i wouldn't be screaming into the void.

but you explicitly stated your point of view was "pretty common", that defaults my view as "uncommon" or in other words, "others" me and those who like bottom billy. don't you dare deny that when you know for a fact it's true.

then citing reasons for why you believed your view was more "accurate". you then went on to claim you were "baffled" when if that were true and you were actually interested in TRYING to UNDERSTAND? YOU WOULD HAVE JUST FUCKING ASKED ME DIRECTLY.

not that i would owe you an explanation or apology, or anything. but i'd have been NICE enough to try and answer anyway to the best of my ability. here, i'll do it now.

i'm not a big fan of bottom homie for the same reasons i'm not at all a fan of (show) homewell. apart from the whole superdick/compressing anus thing, narcissistic abuse/grooming and exploiting someone's trauma for a toxic kink is not only a huge turn off for me, it's super fucking triggering based on my experiences and what i have been through. i've had enough people looking down on me and telling me they "know what's best for me" while trying to rob me of my humanity and use me for their gain.

the funny thing is that i relate to homie in that sense but consider myself a total bottom who also LOVES the 'dom mommy' in certain context, but i also share a lot of similarities with butcher as well and know they both have a lot of very intense differences from me. and homie has a fucking vibrator for a dick. you CANNOT make me want to miss a chance for that, it's just not going to happen. and if i ever want to explore any form of 'grooming' kink from a personal place? i'll stick to thanos and mistress death, thanks.

i also don't find toxic masculinity sexy, that's a red fucking flag for me more glaring than the entirety of homelander, i find POSITIVE masculinity far sexier and true 'top' like. MM has the most of that in my opinion and is the sexiest man on the show, besides the guy who plays black noir under the mask.

i also fully understand the kink on the other end, y'all wanna baby him cause he's never had a mommy and longs for some kind of nurturing parental love, and y'all also wanna fuck him cause he's hot. so ya smash the two together and embrace the infantilization kink (which is seriously not my thing)

and listen, more power to ya. if that's what you like, enjoy it. i'm not judging. i just don't have the same fucking taste and i'm entitled to that. i don't understand why you have to comment on it or be "baffled" by the idea that people can be different from you.

for the record, i don't want to smash the two ideas together, i want to help homie SEPARATE and DEMUDDLE the legitimate problems and confusion in his brain that makes him so vulnurable to women's manipulations, and help him grow the fuck up without wanting to fuck his own mother (if he hasn't already) or keep him baby minded forever. i want to untap his potential and see the man he can/would become depending on circumstance.

because i like redemption and character growth and am a sucker for second chances regardless of liking dark media, and there's a huge difference between "i like you" and " i like that you like me".

that requires a more careful handling than anything suface level, but regardless i don't enjoy exploiting trauma kinks or reinforcing toxic masculinity any more than i would enjoy yiff or snuff. i wouldn't judge someone for having the taste as long as no one real got hurt. but that doesn't mean i have to have their taste.

stop kink shaming me or being "confused" by my preference, i haven't done the same to you. and before you pretend you haven't or that i have.

if you were "seriously trying to understand" you would again, ASK ME DIRECTLY instead of this roundabout bullshit where you talk about it and 'how confused or tired' you are, but can't be bothered to take two fucking seconds to JUST ASK for a more serious answer beyond willem dafoe.

if i wanted to shame you for having a kink, i wouldn't be subtle about it. but i wouldn't anyway because i wouldn't even shame those who have a rape fantasy because i have one and have written and read plenty of it. i file it under 'horror pr0n' with a number of other things, and not every form or 'flavor' of horror pr0n that exists is going to be for everyone, much the same as fucking regular horror. but if it's FICTION, it shouldn't matter.

i understand that and if i judged others for having different tastes or acted... well like YOU, that would make me a hypocrite.

and your friend got it PERFECTLY on the first note. and then decided to enable the bullshit yet again by subscribing to the bane of human unity, tribalism. thanks for reinforcing the idea that this HAS to be a dichotomy WHEN IT'S NOT.

a little healthy teasing and competition? i'm game. it's too bad that's not what this was.

i am not your fucking enemy just because YOU decided i was, YOU do not get to decide that for me. but i'll give them the benefit of a doubt and say they were 'just joking', right?

that's ALL it ever is. "just jokes". but JUST when you or "your side" do it. it's not like you've ever been derogatory and petty about "your side" being the "good side" of fandom.

if you have to constantly reinforce and self assure how "good" you are compared to "others" specifically not part of your niche bubble?

you're an asshole who's not actually "good", full stop. if you have to measure your self worth based on what others do or comparing yourself to them, actually seek help because that's not healthy. just my two cents

but if you want to get technical, NO ONE IS RIGHT AND NEITHER BILLY NOR HOMELANDER IS TOP OR BOTTOM IN A TRADITIONAL SENSE, not just because opinions and preferences can't be right or wrong. because butchlander isn't fucking canon, isn't going to become canon, and as far as we know, both characters are confirmed 100% STRAIGHT within the show with toxic masculinity issues a mile long and would never wanna touch each other like that with a 10 foot pole, and homelander's shown exactly ZERO interest in actually being pegged thus far, so that idea's a headcanon.

even herogasm showed us that 3 on fucking 1 STILL wasn't enough to take him down and homie freaking out over a bruise from an unfair challenge of 3 on 1 because it had logically been a very long time since he'd been hurt makes reasonable sense on a basic surface level. he's then over it by the time maeve makes him bleed and carries on bleeding, and now butcher's dying and is the most vulnurable and literally weak because he's sick of the bunch, so... headcanons? headcanons are fine but let's not forget reality and then laugh at the people who remember it.

and if you had just asked me why i even brought up lovely amazing beautiful cishet women (not at all sarcastic, see above purple posts), instead of YET AGAIN. ASSUMING MY INTENT AND PUTTING A LOAD OF CRAP IN MY MOUTH. you can have that back by the way, what the actual fuck is wrong with you??

or for clarification on why i brought it up? i could have TOLD YOU MYSELF. because unlike SOME PEOPLE, when someone just ASKS a question or gives a neutral or even heated response? I DON'T ASSUME HOSTILITY OR TAKE IT PERSONALLY FROM THEM LIKE IT'S A FUCKING SPORT.

fact (and correct me if i'm wrong): majority of people participating in shipping fandom are cishet women.

this is a simple fact, it doesn't mean anything beyond that, i specifically said both times there's nothing wrong with this.

a majority of people are cishet, so this is to be expected. it still doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the people.

fact: society has issues, ideas, and expectations that affect and harm us all. cishet, or queer. and these issues will and do present themselves in fandom and fan fictions whether we realize that or not. heteronormativity would be one of those. misogyny is another.

and one of my kinks is challenging that, or at least the way i see to challenge that while dunking on redpill idealogy and toxic masculinity because i fucking can.

and i just LOVE how you tout about having the "pReTtY cOmMoN" perception which newsflash, YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO HETERONORMATIVE IDEAOLOGY IF YOU THINK TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A REASON A MAN WOULD NEVER BOTTOM. you'd be surprised what people could get up to behind closed doors. but then you turn around and not only put more words in my mouth, enable anon to put words in my mouth, discourage getting a direct answer from me, accuse me and my friends of being the type to randomly accuse someone else of doxxing??? wtf even is that.

and of course. given your 'pretty common' perception being the total opposite of heteronormativity, it MUST mean that society has resolved all of its issues and come to accept queer people exactly as they are in all forms with no expectations or interference whatsoever, oh yeah. places like florida or uganda just totally don't exist. the u.s. isn't on the verge of becoming an actual fascist hellhole for us, and it is TOTALLY just... no one oppresses us. no one.

ESPECIALLY not the cishets.

and despite all the evidence to the contrary, you especially have done nothing wrong here and its all in my head. is that right? can you clarify for me? do you think that my situations have put zero pressure on me in my day to day life? on my friends' lives? do you think you didn't add to that? do you think you and company are the only ones that feel or react like humans?

imagine being so far up your own ass you tell the queer HOW to queer. or at least be a GOOD queer, right?

oh, i'm sorry let me not put words in your mouth. you were of course only laughing at me behind my back for the 'anti-cishet' things i never said.

and no. OBVIOUSLY i wasn't saying any of the shit you accused. i was saying i prefer SUBVERSIVE themes when i do my tops and bottoms and a more detailed look at that can be found in my purple all over responses or just the posts themselves, but if you still want to ask me anyway, i'll answer to the best of my ability.

and what a coincidence that despite you understanding top/bottom not just being related to penetration and some people will feel certain dynamics may be reductive, how ironic that you couldn't possibly fathom that as one of my main complaints.

you don't WANT to actually understand. you just wanted a circle jerk of confirmation bias.

this anon hit the nail on the fucking head. and you wanted to fight them?? i could have overlooked this but i wanted to touch on something really important because i don't know what anon may have seen but i once saw you answer an ask about homelander's redeemability and you cited "tough love" as a means to get there.

and as a former addict and narcissistic abuse survivor (specifying for context), i can tell you first hand "tough love" is not a real thing, and it's not discipline either because that requires teaching and providing tools for rehabilitation. but don't just take my word for it.

from a psychological perspective and to hear actual professionals go over the concept? "tough love" not only DOESN'T work. it is an excuse to be nasty and abusive to someone under the guise that you are only doing it to help them, when all it really does is make you an abusive fuck.

this would be why the SHOW had HOMELANDER of all people saying it, why what billy did to ryan is presented the way it was with HUGHIE of all people, the guy who was at the time dealing with a huge wad of toxic masculinity issues up his ass, 'got it'. and even BUTCHER'S DAD is presented as the piece of shit that he is who gladly passed on his curse to butcher like it was a 'gift'.

even the comics got this when they present butcher doing his scumlord over 9000 move to hughie and annie saying "cruel to be kind" about his own bullshit. no. no no no. he did NOT do that for hughie's well being. he did it for himself because he was a selfish prick.

and i want to be clear. i am being an asshole here and i fully recognize that. that's for ME to feel better because i am fed up with your bullshit. because you have spent your time poking and prodding me for a hostile reaction. well congrats motherfucker. you got it.

and there ain't NO fucking love there.

i won't be your enemy. but i am NOT your friend either. clearly YOU wouldn't want that anyway.

but because i always have to add in that disclaimer for basic human decency? EVEN WITH HOW I FEEL and what the actual science says about "tough love", i would still never tell someone they can't use it in fiction, presented as a toxic kink or whatever the fuck else. even if it triggers me. even if i have a thousand different reasons to criticize it and voice that in a separate space.

people can do whatever the fuck they want and i can't control that. neither can you.

but i don't have to engage with the content or speak positively on it or keep my mouth shut, and i'm not gonna harrass people or pull the kind of insidious bullshit you do either.

at the end of the day, this is fiction. and if you feel the need to run an entire fucking smear campaign about me over fiction and preferences??

stop lying about me

stop putting words in my mouth

stop talking about me behind my back

stop predetermining who i am for me

stop assuming hostility when i will flat out tell you my intent and you can just ask, that doesn't just go for me.

stop fucking gatekeeping and gaslighting.

I DON'T HAVE A DISHONESTY PROBLEM LIKE SOME PEOPLE.

and fuck you.

neither me nor any of my friends or these anons are crazy and i will not sit around while you try to fucking gaslight me or anyone else. try it again, i fucking dare you.

bottom billy lovers existing is not an attack on you. it never was. you don't own the tags. FUCKING DEAL.

this behavior? is UNNACCEPTABLE.

as for fandom? a few more things i want to cover. i couldn't have said it better than a friend of mine who while a little hectic and crazy sometimes, has been nothing but a sweetheart<3 that i just want to encourage and motivate to art or post pictures of her billy butcher kitty babygirl incarnate but unfortunately due to circumstances may be regressing back into her shell.

a message i will never stop promoting, whatever iteration it comes in, whenever it comes up.

i may disagree with what you are saying or doing, but as long as you are not harming anyone, i will fight wholeheartedly for your right to say or do so.

that is the philosphy of true freedom, THAT is what i subscribe to. and it pisses me the fuck off when i see people trying to punish or hurt people for things that hurt no one. we don't get to decide how other people want to live their lives. we can only navigate and hope we might find a friend along the way.

and THAT is the single greatest picture of captain america ever fucking created. no i will take dissenting opinions.

in regards to assumed hostility or hostile attribution bias, a more lighthearted and easily digestable demonstration is below.

gais... just don't do it. don't automatically assume that someone means you harm or pain simply because they disagree with you. this is what leads to more problems. this is what leads to human tribalism. this is what divides us. this is what destroys us. this is what leads to wars. fandom shipping bullshit or otherwise.

the fucking stupidest invention of humanity, fought over goddamn unholy wads of paper and scribbles of ink because people couldn't accept that their ideas weren't accepted by everyone else, and anyone who didn't fall in line got the axe. or alienated. or excommunicated. or accused of being a witch. or whatever.

but this is the kinda shit we need to nip in the bud at the most basic level we can, every time we can.

it's called intolerance of the intolerant. and it's how we stop hatred from fostering and the intolerance being tolerated and eventually taking over.

because assumed hostility? it IS intolerance.

people are not made from ideas, it's the people who make or break the ideas, not the other way around. and ideas can change.

that should never be seen as a bad thing because it's necessary for positive changes and better understanding as time goes on.

challenge yourselves and the way you think, listen to newcomers and welcome them, have healthy discussions, learn to agree to disagree. it's not that hard.

and i know, i get it. it's not easy, not that simple either. everyone's on edge, people are sickly addicted to hatred and anger because they are EASY. giving in to them doesn't require self control or any form of discipline, it is as simple as instinct. it IS instinct. but if humanity has ANY hope of moving forward?

we HAVE to learn to give people the benefit of a doubt. we HAVE to learn to listen to each other, *actually* listen and hear *exactly* what others are saying. HAVE to learn to identify the difference between a differing *non-hostile* opinion and actual *intolerance*

because the world has already seen what happens when we FAIL and eventually we WILL run out of chances to get it right.

please at least TRY to give the benefit of the doubt in an appropriate situation.

i'll lead by example.

keys? even you. even now, i'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt DESPITE how you've treated me AND my friends now. because MAYBE you were actually key in the sketch and just having a bad day each time we interacted or MAYBE you have some sort of trauma getting triggered whenever you see my shit or we interact or whatever the fuck it could be, MAYBE you are feeling the pressures of a self discovery coming out journey and it's manifesting badly (yes i did notice that and if this is the case i would still wish you nothing but good will and luck with that, not sarcastic), or some combination, there's a million reasons and i don't know you, so i'm not going to assume or say anything for certain.

unlike some people.

but i don't think you're stupid. on the contrary, looking at your posts, my first 'assumption' was that you are actually very well educated and were just enjoying having fun and being silly. later and based on some things i saw, it occured to me that your education/upbringing may put you at odds or at a disadvantage with connecting with people online or having them understand you, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or them, it just means you're speaking different languages.

even the "tough love" thing could be a miscommunication/malapropism. it could also be internal denial because you had a loved one do that to you and still haven't come to terms with the actual abuse you were experiencing because "they knew best"

i've been there. but maybe i'm the one who's projecting just to give you the benefit of a doubt. is it fair for me to take out my own frustrations on random people? fuck to the NO. which is why i TRY regularly to keep that shit in line and my life private.

so i absolutely will not excuse you for being so blatantly dishonest about me either behind my back or to my face because even if you do think i'm being hostile (when i'm not), there's no excuse for that. no, i wouldn't excuse myself either.

that needs to stop in a general sense, and i know you KNOW you are doing that because you'd have to *actually* be the biggest fucking illiterate moron on the planet to not know at this point.

especially when i reached out to you before to try and resolve this calmly and you ignored me and then continued lying about me, yucking it up with anons and buddies like high school mean girls. officially. unironically. instead of doing an ounce of self reflecting.

and i didn't include those messages, but the continued disingenuity and callous misrepresentation is there. and especially the carving into my character to define me however you want without giving me a voice to speak for myself.

stop it. you know it. i know it. maybe you think i'm some country bumpkin cousin hick fucker who happens to conveniently be queer but is remarkably stupid or an easy target.

and maybe i am stupid for ever giving you the benefit of a doubt, but you don't get to rob me of my humanity or basic courtesy.

because YOU'RE human too. and you have a right to your thoughts and feelings and opinions, and i get that, and i support it

even if by some fucking bizarre coocoo for cocoa puffs alternate reality, butchlander were to become canon the way I saw it? i wouldn't gloat or celebrate or try to rub it in your face.

I would encourage you to keep liking what you like and keep being yourself, maybe even harder than before.

even knowing you wouldn't do the same for me. at least from personal experience. see any of the above. and if you think i'm a self righteous prick for it, so fucking be it.

but if you're going to be an asshole? at least own the fuck up to it.

oh, and by the way? i now headcanon that billy butcher once a month puts on a full body gimp suit and with ball gag to do some strange kinda unholy shit with fruit OR veggies (never both), and it HAS to be a waning crecent moon, because i fucking can. and you can't stop me. ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

gais... don't immediately assume hostility. please. i know tone can be hard to interpret through writing or typic and emojis help, and yeah, i know i can jump the gun too. but i try to take things told to me at face/basic value or read them in a neutral tone and i think it helps too.

but we should never be judging anyone before we know them.

[iv3lostcontrolofmylif3]

2012 Usagi -a rant.

You're going to get some major grumpage cuz it's been a long week and I am TIRED of bullshit. Strap yourselves in kids..

I love how people just automatically assumed this guy is a pee-paw by literally nothing else but his voice alone.

Like yes, it's deeper than Jason Griffith's voice, but that doesn't make the character 40 years old. Young people can have a deep fucking voice guys, it's known to happen.

People fucking panicking over 'WHaT AgE iS UsAGi ThO?!"

Whatever age you want him to be! It's left up to interpretation for a fucking reason! RELAX!

If you want him to be an adult and his relationship with Leo is purely that of friendship or even mentorship, FINE!

If you want him to be a teen just like Leo, his balls just happened to drop a little further than Seth Green's? FINE!

For fucks sake guys, Rob was in his 60's when he voiced Donnie, but no one gives a shit when he's paired with every feasible character out there. Literally none of the iterations of the turtles thus far, movies, shows, whatever, have 'sounded' like they were played by an actual child. they all had adult voices.

"BuT iN tHe CoMIcs hE hAs A cHild oUt of WEdlOCK?!"

Yes. In the comics. which is NOWHERE mentioned in 2012. We get a little classic Usagi lore, but nothing about a son, nothing about his other companions he's made during the course of the comics, frankly the only thing familiar about 2012 Usagi is himself , Jei, and the tokage lizards. (They even make up some weird Samurai chick we're supposed to believe Usagi knows, when they could have easily made it Tomoe Ame or Chizu. Kintaro could have been Noriyuki. I'm legit curious why this was a necessity, does anyone know? was it a copyright thing? how'd they get Usagi but not Tomoe??)

Even then, 'in the comics', His age is STILL never confirmed! Learn to live with it! The closest we get is Stan essentially shrugging and pointing at the mid twenties range like 'sure let's go with that.'

Also, fun fact, apparently samurai could be as young as 13 FUCKING YEARS OLD when they went to battle for the first time. Usagi was probably Leo's age during the wars and when he served as Yojimbo to Mifune. He was probably that young when he and Mariko conceived Jotaro. Whatever you think of it, it's history. It was known to happen.

I respect that certain iterations of a ship don't appeal to everyone, if you just don't like it because you personally interpret the character one way, that's valid. But policing an entire ship and anyone else who ships it because of an assumption YOU made is the dumbest fucking hill to die on, honestly. And a pointless one

In the words of a wise Fury

"I recognize that the fandom has made a decision- but given it's a STUPID ASS decision, I've elected to IGNORE it."

[skygirlstars]

❤️🧡💛🏳️‍🌈 for unpopular asks game!

yayy thank you for the ask!! this was so fun. it's yappin' time

❤️: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

this is a tough one because there's so many lol. Barriss (not a villain), Han (not a player), literally SO many of the Jedi, the list goes on. but I think Luke is one of the most interesting cases because I feel he's mischaracterized in different ways by different sides of the fandom. there's the dudebros who think he's just badass, which he is, but nothing else. his most important character trait is quite literally his compassion because it drives the plot of the whole OT. he's a kind and empathetic person, not some embodiment of toxic masculinity bullshit. on the other hand, there's the poor little meow meowfication and infantilization of him from another side of the fandom. yes he's a ray of sunshine but that doesn't mean he can't be tough too!!! he's nice but he also has zero tolerance for bullshit, is headstrong and stubborn, and the furthest thing from shy. many people (myself included) headcanon him as gay or bi and that characterization of him also enforces really harmful stereotypes and narratives about queer men. so in summary, a lot of the fandom mischaracterizes him through a lens of either toxic masculinity or harmful stereotypes. not fun. that got way longer than it was supposed to be, whoops 🙃

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

in-universe: that Padmé was somehow manipulated into loving Anakin, whether by Anakin subconsciously using the Force, or by Palpatine, or whatever. nope, my girl Padmé just has horrendous taste in men (case in point: my least favorite SW character, Clovis 🤢). she saw the red flags and decided red was her favorite color. stay delusional queen. out-of-universe: DISNEY LUCASFILM IS NOT GOING TO RETCON THE SEQUELS FFS. that is the dumbest shit I've ever heard sorry not sorry. Disney admitting they made something not good??? not possible. I can't believe people still honestly believe this. the sequels are not my faves either but with the amount of money made off them anyway, a retcon is not happening

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

do we consider Reylo popular??? it's very divisive so idk if it counts. but I hate it lol, it's the yucky toxic BookTok type of enemies to lovers. bro deadass tortured her. me personally, I wouldn't let that slide. they also feel like Force cousins or something in a weird roundabout way...? we've already had one incestuous kiss in SW, don't need another. also Rey is lesbian imo. if we're not counting Reylo as popular, I quite dislike Sabezra just because I see them very much as siblings. honestly, any ship where I see the characters as siblings feels icky to me -- Anisoka, Rexsoka, Obikin, etc (although siblings vibes is not my only complaint with those examples, unlike Sabezra).

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

quite honestly I think this is the hardest one for me because I headcanon so many characters as queer HAHA. my personal philosophy for fictional characters is bi until proven otherwise lol. maybe Ben Solo/Kylo? idk how much he's HCed as queer but I think he and Hux are shipped fairly often and I just don't see it lol. that's a straight man, I'm afraid. but he's really the only one I can think of off the top of my head, though I'm sure there are more

here's the original ask game if anyone else wants to have a go or wants me to answer any others (please send me asks I love asks I love yapping)

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Not sure if youve seen the stalker videos of maybe maybe not jungkook but I just find it so gross to video or photograph people while they're in their house and I do hope said people get arrested and charged.

Yes, it's giving Rear Window (Alfred Hitchcock, 1954) or Body Double but it might as well just be RW cause de Palma is a copy cat.

I had to open with that, I can't help it. My brain goes straight to pop culture references.

Anyway, yes, it's a horrible violation of privacy. This is not right, I feel sorry for anyone who finds themselves in a situation like this (just imagine I'm writing an entire long paragraph about how morally wrong it is and illegal, ok?)

Look, I don't know what's going on. I'm just watching the fandom come up with theories, analysis of walls, pixels, haircuts and dog tails. I'm not taking any of this pesonally so I'm on the side, watching it unfold, without jumping to any conclusions. Yet.

I'm torn, man. I love gossip, but it also feels bad to gossip about this because of the circumstances. Ughh. A while ago I was entertained by a short lived rumor on weibo about Tony Leung apparently cheating on Karina Lau with a younger, ex-idol who gave birth to his child. And then it looked like it was all bullshit. The tea only seemed scalding hot.

Will the Jungkook one be the same or it will burn? Hm, that's the question. Does that woman really look pregnant? If this was taken during Dora era, then by now, Jungkook must be a baby daddy if she is his girlfriend. Hm, wasn't Jimin supposed to be the one having a kid? Now they're both actual daddies. Their kids will become bffs obviously and we'll have jikook 2.0. Hahahahahaha.

Also, does this mean I can't no longer post about the blowjob brothers? 😭 But they're so entertaining? What will happen now? Will JK have livestreams at 7 am, flirting with JM while the baby is in the other room, crying? Is JM the other man? I should write a script for a soap opera, my imagination is running wild.

And this is not distracting me from streaming 3D cause I never streamed in the first place so the so-called coordinated attack doesn't work on me, ha!

On a more serious note, I know I sound insensible as fuck per this fandom's standards, but it is what it is. It does look like him, but the video is also weird. I'm not gonna analyze and disect anything here, there's plenty of those who are currently working overtime on twitter doing just that.

That's about it. I'm half entertained, half not interested that much with a small percentage of feeling that there's something off, but who knows what the truth is yet.

And yes, I will talk about the blowjob brothers, especially if they show us the CT trip or whatever else comes up. They've been fun before and will be from now on, whether there's girlffriends, boyfriends or possible babies involved.

I hope this answers everything and I made my opinions clear cause I won't debate this forever. I have an NSYNC ask in my inbox to answer to as well.

[manyothermusingsofmine]

Under Pressure || Chapter 1/3

Fandom: Xmen

Warnings: selfworth issues, fighting (acidic burns mentioned though not graphically described), the Friends of Humanity, their bigotry and their repression collars that I dont like for a myriad of reasons and like major feelings of panic. Anything else? Let me know. Wordcount: 3746 Summary: What's supposed to be a fun night out together for Kurt and Miranda takes like three turns left into disaster AN: at some point "the Friends of Humanity" just becomes abbreviated to FOH because typing it out everytime feels like needlessly padding my wordcount and drives me up a wall so. we gon stop that. for my sake. --------------------- It was late enough that the sun was painting the slightest bit of orange on the clouds in the sky. Miranda stood with her back against the wall of a music store, far away enough from the sidewalk that she wouldn't be bothered or in the way by the foot traffic on the street; and it allowed her to sink away in her thoughts as she waited for Kurt.

Or in her case, it would be more accurate to say that her brain was arguing with itself. She needed new excuses to use with people at the mansion of why she snuck out so regularly, she still didn't want to admit to any of them that she and Kurt had personally labelled whatever was going on between them as partners. Why did she not want to admit to that? Anyone else in her position would be screaming it from the rooftops that they had managed to capture the kind, warm heart of the incredible Nightcrawler.

Had she? Seemed like that was just wishful thinking. People normally bothered to say 'I love you' before declaring themselves the romantic partner of whomever- And it wasn't like she could blame Kurt for not saying it if she couldn't manage to say it herself. The words got stuck in her chest like they were trapped in quicksand, slipping through her fingers every time she tried to address it.

She could lie and say there had been no prime opportunities to tell him, but with how often they spend together that was just straight up bullshit. Whether on the rooftop of the mansion or in the danger room while training together, there had been plenty of times she could have told him. Plenty of times she had tried, and failed. Why was it so hard to just tell him how she felt-

"Hey! Sorry I'm late, if I interrupted Rogue just to leave I would never hear the end of it."

His voice interrupted her train of thought, making her flick her gaze up from the stones below her to him. Dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans, he stood in front of her, shielding her from the light as the orange hue of the evening danced around him in almost a halo effect. As it set the blue tones of his furry skin and dark hair ablaze, the only thing she could think of was how it made him look like an angel; Kurt was simply beautiful in a way she had never considered anyone else to be.

"It's fine, Kurt," what felt like staring at him for hours had only been a few seconds at most, "we still have the entire evening. They don't expect either of us back for a while, right?"

Kurt nodded; "Ja. It's Rogue who I always have the hardest time to convince though. She gets so worried."

"You're her brother and she's protective; of course she worries," Miranda laughed, refraining from adding that she would feel much the same if she was Rogue, "anyway, what's the plan for the evening?"

"Well," Kurt answered with a slight smile, and it would never stop amazing her how easy it was to let him in her personal space as he stepped closer to her and leaned an arm on her shoulder, "I was going to keep it a surprise, but it's hard to keep things from you when you look at me so curiously."

"We're going clubbing," the pure dryness of the remark made him laugh and her heart immediately fluttered at the sound of it.

"No, we're not. I know you Miranda, dragging you to a nightclub would be like dragging you to your own worst nightmare. No, Süßer, I think you'll find the new cat café downtown is far more your style, wouldn't you say?"

She was going to say something in regard to the nightclub indeed being what she assumed would be her version of hell, but her eyes lit up as soon as he mentioned the new café that had been on her radar ever since coming soon advertisements for it started popping up.

"I could kiss you right now."

"Then why don't you, hmm?" he purred, to which she closed the gap between them to kiss him, "come on, let's go."

She lingered by the wall for a moment longer, quietly reveling in the feeling of his kiss. Her mind simply started the argument it was having with itself back up, insisting that if she truly at some point wanted to be fine with kissing him and not caring what anyone at the mansion thought about it she had to tell him how she felt. Tonight could be the perfect opportunity to do so, and she couldn't keep blowing it every damn time; what the hell was she so afraid of anyway?

'Oh, I don't know, how about the fact that he is way too good for you to have?' a mean voice in the back of her head sneered at her, 'you said it yourself; he's like an angel. He deserves a lot better than a trainwreck who's anxiety he constantly needs to keep in check.'

She shook the thought off; that was enough. She couldn't keep dancing around in this limbo where she never knew where she stood with him. Even if the answer was no, she rather knew tonight than to drag this out any longer than she already had. She was telling him tonight; and if she was scared then she was going to tell him while scared. Miranda then went after him, surprised to see he had only walked about ten steps away from her as he seemed to focus on a sound she couldn't hear. It was no surprise; his hearing was more sensitive then hers, but this seemed... different.

"What's wrong?" she softly asked, approaching to gently place a hand on his arm as he listened intently.

"Someone's in trouble," he muttered, his gaze draw to some back alley that led to a whole labyrinth of them into the far more industrial side of the city. Miranda immediately resigned to the fact that their previous plans would absolutely not go through. Not only was trying to keep an X-men from helping as impossible as keeping a firefighter away from a burning building, she herself wouldn't be able to sleep if they turned their backs on someone in need.

"Come on then, let's go check it out. Don't look so surprised. You're an X-men, I'm acquainted with them, it's kind of our duty to."

"... I'll make it up to you," Kurt said as he caught up with her while she walked down the alley he had been staring in, "Thank you."

"You better," she grinned at him in an attempt to break the tension, "don't worry about it."

Down a twisting path of back alleys they went, as Kurt instinctively wrapped his tail around Miranda’s waist. Miranda could only assume that if they had to bail the scene in a moment’s notice then it was better if they were already physically in contact, and it was not like she minded anyway. The further they went in the louder the sound of the conflict became; the more the sound increased the slower Kurt approached like a cat on the hunt. He eventually gestured at Miranda to stop and stay behind him. He looked over his shoulder at her, only flattening himself against the stone wall when he realised she had vanished from sight. He peeked around the corner as soon as a feminine voice roared, demanded to be let go, his eyes widening when he saw a group of the Friends of Humanity people cornering someone he honestly thought he would never see again in his life.

"Oh, scheiße. The 'Friends of Humanity' have Vivian cornered."

"The viper mutant? How did they even get to her?" Miranda asked in the same hushed whisper as he did, peeking just around him to try and assess the situation for herself but she immediately got distracted by the sensation of his tail unwrapping and withdrawing itself.

“I’m going to help her.”

“Wh-“ she grabbed onto his arm, immediately pulling him back, “are you out of your mind?!”

“She is going up against twenty people, that is not fair or a fight she is going to win!” “She tried to fucking kill you!?” “She is a mutant, and she’s out there alone. Nobody is coming to help her.” Oh, that was a fucking low blow directly into an exposed nerve. As instinctively as she had grabbed onto his arm, she let go in a near shove while she sarcastically thanked him in her head for reminding her how Vivian was basically the bad ending road to her own story; paranoid, scared, and alone. “Fine. Go be the hero she needs; mind doing it without pressing my nerves about it?!” Kurt blinked, turning around to where he could only assume she was; she could hear the voice in her head sneer that if he wanted to know where she was then maybe he shouldn’t have immediately dropped his hold on her to rush in and save the damn snake.

“Will you please show yourself?”

She shouldn’t, she really shouldn’t. But the tone of his voice had softened significantly, out of this heroic demeanor it had taken before, apologetic. The voice in her head didn’t want her to obey, but the whine of her heart was all the louder for it and drowning out the complains as it wanted for nothing more than for him to just see her. She sighed, shutting her invisibility down with it.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that as a stab at you,” Kurt whispered, placing a hand on her upper arm in quiet support, “I just don’t wish the FOH on anyone, not in those numbers. Not even Vivian deserves to be ambushed by twenty people.”

“… Two against twenty isn’t much better,” Miranda protested weakly, “at least take me with you.” “I can’t even if I wanted to; I can’t let you risk your safety like that. I need you to stay here; if this goes south I need you to get back up."

"So I’m just supposed to let you go out there and risk your safety instead?”

"Drifting, I need you to trust me. If I'm not back in thirty minutes, get help."

"No, wait-" but in a huff of smoke he was gone. She felt exposed, left behind; exactly the same way when he had dropped her on a rooftop in the middle of nowhere to go and fight a Sentinel with his group. The more experienced group with actual useful abilities instead of an invisible ragdoll he had to drag along with him. With a hurt, sad sigh she flicked her invisibility back on, peeking around the corner instead to keep an eye on the fight and promising to herself she would go get help if the situation got out of hand. Appearing in the middle of the combat, Kurt immediately kicked away one of Vivians attackers and flung another away with his tail, stepping over her in a defensive pose as if to show they had to get through him first if they wanted to get their hands on the viper mutant. Quickly scanning what he could only label as the battlefield, yellow eyes flicked to the mutant on the ground for just a moment.

“You alright?”

He immediately looked back up at the sound of the group forming a semi-circle around them, the FOH clearly a bit perplexed by his sudden appearance and momentarily unsure of what to do about it. Vivian looked up at him, scrambling away from underneath to get up and equally as confused at suddenly having an ally on the field with her. She knew he could fight, sure, but who was to say he wasn’t just going to toss her to the wolves the moment he could?

“Why are you-“

She was interrupted by a handful of the FOH attackers bringing out collars, instinctively knowing she did not want those anywhere near her despite this being her first true encounter with a whole group of these people. Her glowing orange eyes went from the group to Kurt, a temporary alliance there clearly in her best interest if she wanted some chance at getting out of this. "Less talking, more fighting, Fraulein." Kurt was forever graceful in his fighting; trained, skilled, and so in tune with himself that his acrobatics easily made him flit between enemies. He wasn’t brutal like Vivian was about it, who hurled men and women alike aside with brute force and snarled to show off her huge fangs in an intimidation display- she clearly had more street fighting experience than the fighting the X-men got as training. Even amidst helping each other when one got jumped by broken off fractions of their attackers, eventually they landed back to back against each other while they were circled by the whole group.

"There's too many of them!" Vivian hissed over her shoulder, dropping her guard just enough for some soul in the crowd to be brave enough to lunge for her with a collar in their hands. Kurt saw it happen from the corners of his eyes, instinct taking over as he grabbed onto her and pushed her to where he was standing

"Look out!" As the unmistakable click of metal shutting in on itself rang through the air, he realised his mistake. He had been trying to keep track of so many things all at once that in a moment where he wasn’t thinking he had done little more than swap positions with Vivian, miscalculating how much time he had and needed to teleport both of them to a safe place. And now, the FOH device was around his neck. His knees gave out under the overwhelming feeling of being severed from his sense of his surroundings, the ability to see and feel where he could slip between realms to get where he wanted to go harshly and unforgivingly ripped away from him. He looked up at Vivian, fear taking a stronger hold as he was terrified what the collar would do to her, and what the FOH even wanted a venomous mutant for in the first place. That aside, if she got caught with him, the whole attempt to save her had been completely moot.

"Run."

"But-" Vivian protested, back still pointed towards him in order to keep an eye on the people rapidly closing in, a few already getting their hands on her blue ally no matter how hard she snarled at them to try and keep them away. 

"Run!" She still had her intimidation on her side, spitting her venom at people and causing panic as she hit some of them on exposed limbs, creating a cacophony of horrified screams as their skin inevitably reacted to the chemical concoction like it would to an acid burn. As a bunch of them scattered off, the remaining ten or so divided themselves into group with one set further dragging Kurt away until Vivian had little choice but to grab someone attacking her and full force throwing them into the group they belonged to before she bolted off and clambered onto the stone wall of a building to get to the roof. She simply couldn’t help him. Vivian had no idea that she scaled the same building Miranda was still using as her hiding spot, not seeing her on account of her invisibility. Miranda had been sitting there the whole time, frozen like a deer in headlights as her brain was eerily dead silent for a few excruciating seconds, before absolutely and completely freaking the fuck out. Panic and anxiety rattled in her chest as the notion of getting help suddenly seemed like the stupidest fucking thing to do; having to admit to his team that she lost him to a bunch of FOH weirdos?! Her mind couldn’t let go that they were taking him away, and as they did the last thing she would’ve ever done was argue with him over Vivian of all fucking people in the world. She didn’t know what to do, her mind repeating over and over again like a desperate mantra that they were taking him away and that she had no idea what they were going to do with him. Her blood ran ice cold as a couple of them went up ahead to open a heavy metal door, while the remaining three struggled to keep a hold on him

‘Fucking do something!’ the voice in her head that usually lowkey chastised her for just about anything under the sun was now so loud that it sounded like thunder resounding in her skull, ‘or you’ll never see him again!’ It was almost like that voice took over control, because she had never gotten up or ran that fast in her life. She shot across the entire wide open industrial field like a bullet shot from a gun, barreling through the door before it was closed by some musclebound henchman that shut the door behind her only to then look around at what that random gust of wind was supposed to be as it rushed past him. He shrugged, letting go of the door and blissfully unaware that he was standing right next to an invisible mutant with her hand clasped over her mouth in order to not make a sound.

"Odd," he muttered to himself, thoughts interrupted as his communication device went off, "Yeah? What do you mean Sheila called out again? I swear ever since she met that Chloe she's been acting all uppity and weird. No, she better not be fucking around with a mutant, if she knows what’s good for her." He was still talking aloud to the person on the other end as he went back to his post. When he left the corridor, Miranda unclasped her hand from her mouth to breathe out, exhaling in the hope that it would take all her anxiety along with it. Great, she was inside; now what? This would've been amazing had she actually thought for a minute what she was going to do once inside. She stared at the ceiling, almost wanting to look through it into the sky above while she tried to keep her burning tears at bay.

"... I don't know if You can hear me, or if You’d listen to someone like me- I don't talk to You even remotely enough to be asking for any favors," she whispered, quickly hitting the four point of a cross over herself, "but if You have any to spare I could really use some divine intervention right about now. And if I’m not worthy of anything You’d offer then please grant it to him; keep him safe. Please.” She took a few deep breaths, forcing herself to calm down as she lingered where she was. No matter what, with the choices she had made, there was no calling for back up other than her prayer for divine intervention; their friends and family couldn’t come to the rescue now that there was no one to run to them for aid. Hell, she wouldn’t even be able to make it out the doors here without triggering the alarms that loomed over the normal entrances and emergency exits alike. Worse, their family wouldn’t even notice the two of them were gone until several hours later; that was the horrible downside of wanting no one to know where you went off to or who you were with. With that option scrapped, what could she do?

[mars-ipan]

ok, ill crawl my beating heart ass out of the floorboards for a second just to tell that one anon. actually hey. that one anon i am talking directly to you now actually. listen, i have been in your position. i have been the guy whose whole life revolved around fandom and one character and one ship, and i was not happy. so many stressors in my life were made worse by the fact i had insisted on placing useless importance on something that was supposed to provide an escape from that stress, because i refused to accept that one can not possibly be correct about a subjective interpretation. you are some guy, and as such you do not know komaeda better than any other some guy because, lets keep this in mind, he is not real. he cant tell you things, you cant know him better than anyone else, and you just have to accept that and move on. sometimes you depict a character in a way thats true to how you personally interpret their behavior and believe them to act, and thats cool and thats good. fuck, thats mainly what i enjoy doing, i have so much respect for creators who are able to depict characters exactly as they appear and can adapt that character to any situation, its hard. but also sometimes you just wanna make them do shit thats fun or hot or whatever, and you cant stop people from doing that. this kind of fandom bullshit doesnt have any real world impact besides making you upset.

block if something makes you uncomfortable, let people play toys in their own spaces and you can play in your own. or just log off and go look at the sky and the animals thatd probably do you a lot of good. for real

hca💂‍♀️ ok didnt mean to add that one but ill be a royal guard today i guess fuck it

also hi mars 👋 lmao. sorry someone wrote an essay-length thesis in your inbox about komahina, usually that is my job. and maybe i will be on da clock again soon who knows🧐

hi hca 👋 this is stellar btw