#fandom feelings

[proseinborderland]

I was elated when I joined this fandom!

I met great people.

I've made a couple of TRUE Friends!

I wrote some fiction and fangirled - for the first time ever - having been a lurker for almost 2 decades. And now I understand why most people lurk.

I am getting trolled by people from multiple accounts.

I am getting trolled by people asking me for very random and odd prompts, ignoring that my requests are closed, or I get weird DMs. This isn't what I signed up for.

I am too old for this shit.

I am almost ready to leave AIB Fandom indefinitely.

[allegorymetaphory]

Reading The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes reminded me again why the Hunger Games trilogy spawned an entire genre of copycats; because Suzanne Collins understands the philosophical underpinnings of her work. She's also a great writer.

This is a villain's origin story, we all know that going in. We've read The Hunger Games trilogy so we all know what Coriolanus Snow becomes, and yet...the story of how he became so hit me so hard I ugly-cried after finishing the book.

(Spoilers under the cut)

'His brush with love taught him never to love again,' and 'he loved her but he killed her' are squeezing my soul. You can feel him turn, out in the woods, feel him become a danger to her even before he thinks. Understand what is going to happen as he tells himself Lucy Gray targeted Wovey when we just saw her tell him she'd actually been targeting Coral and Wovey randomly found the bottle first. We see Coriolanus make her an enemy in his head because it saved his appearance and cleared his path to power.

Coryo is from a family that cares about appearance and power more than anything else. No matter what, no matter how, their goal is to land on top.

He sees Dr. Gaul's error in assuming everyone is vicious like her and takes only the lesson that one should not assume everyone is like you. In his case, he never once stops seeing himself as fundamentally good, even as he comes to believe that all other humans will murder each other willy-nilly if not controlled by a strong central government.

We know what his belief in control turns into...and now we know why Katniss, and 12, and Mockingjays specifically get under his skin. A girl from 12 like Lucy Gray, named after a plant Lucy Gray taught him about, not only defies his control but is titled Mockingjay and then sings a song written for him that becomes propaganda against him. Perhaps Plutarch learned something about Snow's past and knew calling Katniss "Mockingjay" would dig at him like sand at Anakin. I wonder if Plutarch knew that the hanging tree song was written for Coriolanus?

Snow goes from hating and fearing Dr. Gaul to enthusiastically furthering her aims...like she knew he would after feeling a few hardships. She forced him to become a killer, perhaps knowing his cognitive dissonance would enforce her perspective and draw him to her side.

Ultimately, this book is the story of Snow's first (and only) love and first four (of many) murders.

[jacksalamander]

Rewatching ALOTO because why would I do anything else, and fuck I’ve got a lot of feelings. I have such a weird achey longing for being a baby lesbian and being around a group of strong women? Like I’m non-binary, and I ACHE watching them all slowly find their place with each other because even though I’m a fully grown adult queer with a wife and new name and confidence, there’s still a hurt baby inside me that just wants to be “normal”. I play in a women’s softball league, and fuck I wish I could be excited and passionate and fulfilled about being part of a women’s sports team? But I’m NOT a woman. I dunno. I don’t know where this was going. I’ve just got lots of thoughts and feelings and I need to find a new therapist, so.

[arnab-factory]

Fascinated by this phenomenon

[sunnylolli]

Something, something, what if it all went really wrong and they were forced to speed-run the brotherly bonding

[king-nyx]

Say it with me now

You are never late to a fandom. Your fic is never "invalid" for being "late". Your fic doesn't need a high word limit. Your fic does not need a high standard. Your fic does not need to be highly popular. Your fic isn't less valid than a popular author's fic. Your fic isn't inheritly bad. Your fic is amazing. Your fic is valid. The only thing that matters is that you're having fun. Fandom is not consumption and consumerism. Fandom is fun, free and for the people. Fandom is not a popularity contest. We're all nerds at the end of the day.

[proseinborderland]

This. All of it. 100%

[serendippertyy]

I am so excited for ep 4 it's giving off krusty krab vibes and I'm losing my mind over it is SO funny to me 😭😭

and I absolutely love this brush so much it is a motivation lifesaver,,plus I've been working on pushing expressions and trying to not be a perfectionist and this is the result and I'm having so much fun! enjoy my silly doodles lol 🤭

[meyerlansky]

ON the subject of undernegotiated kink in fanfiction. i think we should talk more about how the concept of "not talking about it" is just as much wish fulfillment for some people as "in-depth, therapy-speak conversations where everyone is clear and understood" is for others

like yes, in reality the antidote to shame is open honest conversation with someone who will validate your feelings and wants blah blah blah but SOMETIMES what i want out of my fanfic is characters being understood without having to expose themselves in that way. SOMETIMES it's fun to not dismantle the shame and repression all the way and to instead treat that understanding-despite-not-being-clear as the fantasy

[proseinborderland]

I am only now beginning the manga, so please forgive me, but from the first time I watched their scenes at the beach, I felt their onscreen chemistry was hot! Also, and always imho, I think both of them have more fluid sexualities than most other AIB characters (Ann being the exception) and since there is also established trust between the two of them, why should they not have a little fun? -- you know, like they might die tomorrow?! lol! Again though, that was just my initial reaction upon watching the live-action story. I can't wait to see how / if my opinion changes. ❤️

[color-ns]

Sometimes tweeter people know their stuff- this is the right kind of toxic angst I want to read.

[emberfaye]

You know what?

I love you, fics that take months to update. I click on the newest chapter and have no memory of this place and get to go back some chapters and rediscover how much i love everything about this story.

I love you, fics that take years to update. I think of you fondly, and know your names, go search for you and see an update from this year and scream, diving in uncaring of any missed details (i will finish the update and read you in reverse because this is a treat you have bestowed)

I love you, fics that probably will never update again. Thank you for being a roman empire for my mind, thank you for teaching me about the ephemeral fandom experience, for inspiring a thousand million what if-s, for being a comfort read and a nostalgia read and a reread.

I love you fic writers, who jump into projects and stories with enthusiasm. I love you when you succeed in pumping out those chapters and that love doesn't go away when you stop.

I love you fic writers who post and then get in your own head and never feel confident enough to update, whether it's at all or whether it's just that one story.

I love you fic writers, who have a fandom or media hurt you to the point of abandoning or having a hard time with their WIPs.

I love you fic writers, who lose interest or have life changes or illness or bad memory. Thank you for being part of the fandom, a core part of the fandom. Thank you for the time spent in the fandom.

I love you, fic writers who try out something new and then stop. You're so valid.

I love you, WIP fics that may or may not ever get finished. Thank you for brightening my day in the way only you could have.

[toointojoelmiller]

better than drugs

[birbwell]

monku hatsune

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.

You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?

Click on their name. And look at their profile.

I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.

"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.

"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.

Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.

Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.

Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.

I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.

Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.