#fake dashboard post

[times-of-drought]

🍽decently-pureblood follow

I JUST TUNED IN WTF

WHAT

🍽decently-pureblood follow

THERE'S MORE

HELP

hey why is szekh so hot

🔪proud-betrayer follow

STFU ABT THE FUCKING CLOWN IDC

ALL NON-PANTHEON MARRIAGES (AND EVERYTHING THAT COMES WITH THEM) WILL BE LEGALLY RECOGNIZED EVEN WHEN THEY WERE OFFICIATED AFTER AN AWAKENING!

There will be no need to repeat any ceremonies in a szekh manner

Equal protections to Full-Blooded-Human/Szekh relationships!

No need to even temporarily pledge to Olrmo for non-pantheon marriages or any other Olrmo-related rites!

Secular marriages will be recognized too!!!!!

You only need to deliver a certificate that would be binding for humans to your local scribe's office! (an exhaustive list will be released in post-conference executive regulations)(not public yet but a little birdie has tweeted at me that the wording of the "would be binding for humans" is quite loose; the list covers most human religions and orders, all human governments, including a few states that are not officially recognized by general human politics)

You are protected by way of appeal if they refuse to recognize your rights! (first appeal to the head scribe of the office, second appeal goes to your Lord!)

An (OPTIONAL!!!) regulation that would allow pantheon marriage candidates to forego pledging to Olrmo and having to place a temporary Olrmo shrine in their home. This would be huge!!! But it's optional!!! I urge everyone reading this post to bother your scribes office as much as possible!!! Write to them! Come in person! Threathen them! Bother bother bother! Ask them to include this piece! You don't have to state a reason it's not blasphemous! If you see your Lord in public, approach them! Ask them to include the regulation!!!

I will update the information as news come out on subsequent regulations.

#REBLOG THIS VERSION COWARDS #also. you are so obsessed with the clown. fine. he voted for the changes so ig hes alright. #iniris looked so betrayed when szekh confirmed that kalik is allowed to be a lord #that was so fucking funny

12k notes

⚡random-nane follow

Posting on this site is going to be so scary. Imagine you try to make a joke and god of jokes turns up in your reblogs to make fun of you

🤡kalik-in-flesh follow

LOYAL FOLLOWERS! ONWARDS!

🤡thejokerrrrrr follow

K

🤡amazinglyhappy follow

U

⚡random-nane follow

NOOOO

#WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CLOWNS ON MY DASHBOARD HELP

2137 notes

🎆future-lord-trust follow

I cannot believe I can @ a god.

aaaanyway

@kalik-in-flesh hey why did Iniris try to kill you? Is there a divine rule for meddling in mortal affairs lol?

🤡kalik-in-flesh follow

Im too silly for her 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

13 notes

🪑csener-advocate follow

So um. What about that warrant for investigation of tumblr user kalik-in-flesh. Will it get cancelled or will they actually try to arrest a god????

🐼aipfira follow

Bet theres a whole department of nane with a massive headache rn

🎰lastgambler777 follow

do you think that was his whole deal. do crime and induce headaches on administrative officers

80 notes

🥩devoted-scribe follow

I will not comment on the situation until I gather my thoughts but I can say this. This gif accurately shows @scri-best 's reaction to "the news" unfolding

🥼scri-best follow

Literally how am I supposed to cope with this.

🤡kalik-in-flesh follow

🥼scri-best follow

YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

🤡kalik-in-flesh follow

🤨

🥼scri-best follow

I'm not fooled by your manipulations

7401 notes

[zoologica42]

Temperate Lake Dashboard Simulator

🐦‍⬛2xcrested_cormorant Follow Going to try and eat this weird fish

♻️🐦‍⬛2xcrested_cormorant Follow wilmdlife hopital

🐸rana-bufo Follow No one can ever truly understand what BULL4rog's music means to me 😭 this song in particular argrgrgrgrgrg the way he puffs out his vocal sack asdfghjk

BULL4rog: listen here on spotify ♻️🐸rana-bufo Follow I think I huave chytrid

🐟ilikeeatingminnowsFollow I just migrated here from finstagram please be nice

🐠powerbottomfeeder Follow

I have HAD IT with this lake, it’s the third day in a row we’ve had nitrates above 8 ppm and uug the algae, my allergies I can’t do this

♻️🐟carpy-diem Follow

Lol we regularly get nitrates up to 20 ppm in my lake ♻️🦞crawdaddy Follow uhhh you shouldn't be bragging about that, it's really unsafe ♻️🐟carpy-diem Follow suck it you little oligotrophic bitch

🐢snappturt Follow Dear Tumblr, am I the Basshole for the way I catch minnows? I was chatting with some of the guys I bask with and they said the way I catch minnows is problematic; What I do is I sit on the bottom of the lake, I hide myself in the mud and I open my mouth. My tongue looks a lot like a little worm so I wiggle it around- and because of that, minnows swim over and check it out. Once they get close enough, then I bite down and eat them. Some of my rockmates have told me that this is manipulative and toxic behavior- but they also eat minnows...I don't know guys...

🦆tree hole-nester-acorn-eater Follow

is it just me, or is this super homoerotic???

🐟bigpikexxl Follow liveblogging diving down to the bottom

♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow dark

♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow big log

♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow rock

♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow kinda cold

♻️🐟bigpikexxl Follow oh hi @deepwatersculpin!!!

♻️🐠deepwatersculpin Follow oh hey @bigpikexxl!!!

never thought i'd seen one of my mutuals irl!!! I didn't even know we lived in the same lake!!!

🐠Shadlad Follow I'm not sorry, and I'm not afraid to say it, if you're an introduced species, go dry yourself out. You're not welcome to eat up all of our resources and live in my ancestral longs and rock crags. These things are for us to relate to and not for you to squander.

♻️🦞crevice-steve Follow

Can't believe this type of fishcourse is still popular on this site, introduced species didn't choose to be introduced and have as much of a right to live as anyone else. Bigotry against introduced species is still bigotry and that's a hill I will dry on. ♻️🐠Shadlad Follow Go ahead, dry yourself out then ;) ♻️🪷nootnootnewt Follow Hey man, I hate invasive species as much as anyone else but please stop telling people to beach themselves for political reasons- yeah that includes inavsives too ♻️🦐typical_scud Follow Did you legit just use the word Invas*ve to describe introduced species? ♻️🦢flatfootswimmer Follow anyone in this thread eat pondweed?

♻️🐟largemouthbASS Follow A colab with my mutual @2xcrested_cormorant after they got released from the wildlife hospital. They haven't been on much since the Fish and Wildlife Service released them in the wrong lake and it took them a while to get back to their colony. We hope this guide will help you avoid accidentally eating/engaging with bait!

[strangestcase]

bugs need their own Tumblr i think

0 notes

🐝​ sillywasp Follow

This humans house smells like flowers!! 🌸​🌼​🌷 yum!

🐝​ sillywasp Follow

Update: there are no flowers 😭​ I feel so robbed

🐝 sillywasp Follow

Update: they put me in a plastic cup ☹️​

43 tiny notes

���​ crashopper Follow

HELP NEEDED

my wife is mad at me :(

​🕷️ tinymeal Follow

Damn that's crazy. Have you tried talking to her.

🪰​​ d1ptteraaaaa Follow

Dude youre a black widow spider I dont think you're qualified to give love advice

🕷️ tinymeal Follow

Actually black widow females only eat the males in extremely stressful situations such as being kept in captivity, my wife and I live in a beautiful meadow and we're fine

🪲​ shiny-turd Follow

Then why is your blog full of vore

🕷️ tinymeal Follow

Can't a man have a fetish

94k tiny notes

🐜​ cottagecore-gate Follow

Milking my beloved aphids! 💖​💓​💖​💓​💖​💓​

🐞​ godslittlecow Follow

:3c

🐜​ cottagecore-gate Follow

dont you FUCKIGN dare

182 tiny notes

🕸️​ sneakyspidey Follow

*sees a mantis crawling overhead* Tsk... such a fool... *into the intercom* attack, mine simps

🦋​ bread-and-butter-fly Follow

Knowing OP is an ant mimic spider makes this a thousant times funnier

🦂​ pseudoabdomen Follow

why do you know so much about ants

🦋​ bread-and-butter-fly Follow

I tricked ants into raising me

🦟 bzz-bzz Follow

Isnt that a little exploitative?

🪳 thecrawlerrrrrr Follow

Ants love being exploited dont listen to the haters

🦟 bzz-bzz Follow

Youre a termite of course youd say that

🪳 thecrawlerrrrrr Follow

That's so fucking racist???

🐛 fluffyfellow Follow

lmao .You are both racist 🙄​

🦂​ pseudoabdomen Follow

IS THAT A LARVA??? ON BUGBLR???

🦋​ bread-and-butter-fly Follow

Relax it's my little brother. who's currently tricking ants into raising him

🕸️​ sneakyspidey Follow

​ What have you MANIACS done to my post

[sedgewick-gayble]

1920s tumblr simulator

🎞 noirsuatoir Follow

Private detectives useless as hell all I do is sit behind a desk dramatically lit in black and white stripes by my half open blinds and smoke cigars. Living the dream

#privatedetective #detectivelife #i have 19 unsolved cases

( 10,552 notes )

🎷 aceofspades Follow

prohibition hitting hard...making some bathtup gin tonight. DM for recipe

🎷aceofspades Follow

hopital

( 65 notes )

🔘 deactivated-341925 Follow

Clara Bow is 20??!!!

🔘 deactivated-341925 Follow

SHE SHOULD BE AT THE SPEAKEASY

( 979 notes )

🎙 fancy-nancyboy Follow

Smuggling some moonshine in my coat oh boy I sure do hope no big scary prohibition officer comes andbpins me and handcuffs me hahha oh nooo that would suck

#wink wink

( 4,208 notes )

🍸 gladragz Follow

my thirsty ass could NEVER be a bootlegger!!!!

( 7 notes )

🚬 runrummer Follow

Anyone else think some of those jc leyendecker drawings are kind of yaoi ....

#those arrow collar advertisments got me feelin smthn #jc leyendecker #jcleyendecker #jcl

( 962 notes )

📻 flapperfanny-fan973 Follow

she speak on my easy till I jazz

( 12 notes )

[jimingyue]

Cat Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

🖋️ meowful-musings Follow

🕊️ birdwatching Follow

what's wrong with dry food??? my humans feed me it all the time and i think it's fine

💀 elusivehider-deactivated948204

op wheres the natural feeding option

🌲 outdoorsy Follow

you guys are getting fed?

#im a barn cat so maybe im missing something here #meowtthew don't look

7,192 notes

☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow

ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE

ITS OKAY TO BE A MOGGIE

YOU ARE NOT LESS VALID IF YOU ARE NOT A SPECIFIC PEDIGREE!!!!!

☀️ pawsitive-affurmations Follow

extra special shout out to cats who have "common" coat colors. grey tabbies and black cats i am rubbing against your head affectionately <3

🪤 m0usetrap01 Follow

as a grey tabby i really needed to hear this :"3

#i feel like i never see positivity posts for moggies even tho we're the most common type of cat....

154,688 notes

🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow

i cant believe there are cats ACTUALLY advocating for kittens to be separated from their mothers before 12 weeks??? kittens still need to learn how to interact with other cats before being placed into their furever home omg you guys know you're advocating for undersocialized and aggressive cats right

❤️ loving-paws284 Follow

um op some of us??? matured early??????? i was separated from my mother at 7 weeks and i turned out fine... interesting how you assume that kittens being separated from their mothers at a younger age will lead to the degeneracy of the next generation...hmm i wonder where i've heard that before...

🐈 fluffy-the-cat Follow

OP got bit too hard during a play-fight as a kitten and it shows XD

🐟 tunafeesh Follow

also op have you ever considered that just because somecat is kind of scared and unable to deal with strange cats or humans, it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be adopted?? you sound like a vet psyop honestly

🎵 rage-against-the-meowchine Follow

oh meow god saying that kittens should be fully weaned before leaving their mother is NOT veterinarian rhetoric and i never said that they deserve to be euthanized!!! my mother literally died when i was 3 weeks old and it seriously messed up my development so stop putting words in my mouth, thanks

anyway friendly reminder that underweaned kittens are prone to illness and often struggle with basic cat behaviors like litterbox usage, and in some nyavinces it's even considered kitten abuse

#discourse #cant believe "kitten abuse is bad" is controversial now

32,456 notes

🍃 naturalliving Follow

BORN TO DIE

WORLD IS A FUCK

猫神 Kill Em All 1989

I am trash cat

410,757,864,530 DEAD BIRDS

#outdoorliving #outdoorcats please interact #outdoorcat friendly

48,971 notes

🎣 salmonpurina Follow

can't believe cats are uncritically reblogging that born to die world is a fuck post. i know it's funny but op is literally an outdoor cat truther

#like cmon now you just have to go to their blog #lulu speaks

34 notes

💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712

gentle reminder that pushing cups off the table is not cute and can cause a lot of distress in your human!!!! gentle reminder that our teeth and claws can easily hurt them more than they can hurt us!!!!

🐰 evil-tabbystripes Follow

evil reminder that the cup should always be pushed off the table. evil reminder that you should always bite and claw at your human no matter what. you can do whatever you want forever

💀 tabbystripes-deactivated098712

make your own pawst

💀 laser-point-deactivated8574721

umm i know a tomcat who did that and his human ended up putting him down so...

👬🏻 nyasunaruenjoyer Follow

Nyaverage shelter cat behavior

#not nyaruto #re-nyab #pickles shut up

545,460 notes

🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow

saw two male cats sleeping together on the porch today. homeow behavior imo

💡 discourse-meows Follow

hey um what the fuck??? it's really not okay of you to go assuming other cat's sexualities, especially cats you don't even know???? as a queer cat i'm VERYY uncomfortable. real-ass cats didn't consent to your nyaoi fetish, thanks

🌈 nyaoi-warrior Follow

1. i was making. a joak

2. i'm literally gay???

#literally what's your pawblem

7 notes

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

reblog if you've ever caught the laser pointer

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

i know you fuckers are lying

🍭 gaykittens Follow

this tom hasn't caught the laser pointer

🎩 amazingcatshow12 Follow

shut the heull up

988,653 notes

🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow

grey toebeans >>>>>>>>> pink toebeans and don't let the haters make you believe otherwise

🐁 ladymouser Follow

op shut the fuck up ALL toebeans are beautiful!!! just bc you're miserable and insecure doesn't mean you can bring others down based on things they can't control

🐾 b-e-a-n-t-o-e-s Follow

oh so the cat-human separationist wants to preach to us

[chzdavmpr]

Guy who's been lost in the woods for weeks and is now having a Tumblr themed hallucination from dehydration dashboard simulator:

🌲Tree-3816638 Follow

If you squint really hard at my bark it kinda looks like Yaoi. See?

Notes 564

🐦The Squawkerrrrrr Follow

Check out how loud I can be AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Notes 1.3k

🐭Stupid fucking rat who ate all my food Follow

Man I am just stuffed. Can't believe some chump just left a pile of berries lying around. I'm gonna eat his fingers when he sleeps.

Notes 22

🐜Ant237457

🐜

🐜Ant237458

🐜

🐜Ant237459

🐜

Notes 40.78k

🌊That saltwater not to far Follow

Notes Thirsty

👩I don't know this person Follow

Are you ok? Hey. Can you hear me?

Guys call an ambulance I found a guy! He looks pretty bad.

Notes 3

[ursaspecter]

🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow

wtf i'm literally shaking and crying right now i just saw silver bullets for sale on temu why the fuck are there silver bullets on temu

🪢 knotexplosion Follow

Hey. Hey. Look at me. Do you genuinely believe Temu of all places is going to have genuine sterling silver bullets for sale? TEMU. Wish and Shein's bastard child?

🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow

they had wooden stakes on there too i'm actually fearing for my and my partner's lives right now

🦇 count-fuckula Follow

Yeah I bought some wooden stakes from Temu and they broke instantly. I wasn't even using any force to put them in my lawn as it rained quite recently. I wouldn't worry too much about any silver bullets you find. They're probably just silver plated.

🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow

Can confirm- Temu silver isn't real and can't hurt us. I bought a bunch of silver jewelry off there because I can't afford anything the legitimate stores are selling and when I tried them they barely even burned. Not worth it.

🍯 bearly-hanging-on Follow

Why on earth would you, a werewolf, buy silver jewelry???

🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow

well for me it's a sex thing.

🪢 knotexplosion Follow

Why would you voluntarily wear jewelry from Temu? Did you at least sanitize it first???

🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow

Uh... I licked it first. Werewolf saliva can disinfect surfaces right?

🪢 knotexplosion Follow

YOU WHAT

🦇 count-fuckula Follow

Oh my g-d just because werewolf saliva can make your wounds heal faster doesn't mean it works miracles!!!

🪢 knotexplosion Follow

Wait how would you know that?

🦇 count-fuckula Follow

@.daddy-fenris is not the brightest sometimes.

🌕 daddy-fenris Follow

oh my god IT WAS ONE TIME why do you have to put me on blast right now

🦇 count-fuckula Follow

The world needs to know. Roadkill please go see a doctor or a vet or something.

🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow

i feel like this is taking away from the real issue at paw

🪢 knotexplosion Follow

Can't you see we're having a conversation here?

🌓 halfmoonhorror Follow

IT'S MY POST???

🍖 roadkill-meatloaf Follow

Not anymore it's not

[alcedeerie]

🪄 lingwizard Follow

Magilinguistics and magiconlinguistics are so underrated. The idea that the specific language and syntax used to cast a spell can alter the efficiency and flow of a spell is amazing; it’s honestly infuriating how many people, including many mages, think Latin is the only valid conjuring language even though glossolalia is a WELL-DOCUMENTED PHENOMENON. I use many other languages in various spells and it’s really fun. Would recommend.

🪶 featherspells Follow

YOU CAN DO THAT? YOU CAN TRANSLATE LATIN SPELLS INTO A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE AND THEY’LL WORK!?! EVEN YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE?!

🌱 gandalfbignaturals Follow

Yeah, welcome to the club! Using your native language isn’t recommended for summoning forces from other realms, though. The portals tend to collapse if you do that.

🗝️ keytomychest Follow

Wait wait wait, I just consulted my familiar about this, is magiconlinguistics modifying or inventing an entire language to optimize your magic? Because that sounds like something both extremely commendable and also batshit insane.

🌳 druid-ruin Follow

Yeah, that’s basically exactly what it is. We’re surprisingly pretty chill. I mean, except for that one time where someone hyper-optimized Taikureiden Suomen Kieli V5 to create the first, and most dangerous, known instance of the Everything-Damage Fireball spell, but we usually don’t talk about that.

🪄 lingwizard Follow

Ah, Taikureiden Suomen Kieli, the most absolutely broken magilang to ever exist. Go Finland, give us more fucked-up spells!

🪶 featherspells Follow

wait, the Everything-Damage Fireball is REAL? I thought you guys were joking.

🌳 druid-ruin Follow

We WERE joking. ONCE.

🔥 icastfireball Follow

on one hand, this is really cool and all, but on the other hand, i'm scared of what this can do. However, on the secret third hand, i kinda wanna modify a language to make demonic creatures physically sick upon hearing it, cause i wanna do a little trolling.

🪄 lingwizard Follow

Grand Mage Amara Lightningchain coming up with the idea for the Volapük Silananazunik experiments be like:

🔥 icastfireball Follow

hold on let me look something up

🔥 icastfireball Follow

wh. what the fuck

[starboundsingularities]

good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder

#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess

7 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

date posted: june 23, 2010

1,834,853 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though

🧊 just--ice Follow

okay now they're just making lawyers up

#also didn't mvk die or something?

28,932 notes

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder

🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow

so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

are you gonna address the copaganda thing or

1,092 notes

🌻 attorneybout Follow

he's so. 😳

📂 trialanderror Follow

why is he defending

📂 trialanderror Follow

OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???

24,374 notes

🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow

i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all

🥜 liberdeez Follow

op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.

🔐 wrightorwrong Follow

hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

net 0 information post

#thanks again lawblr

94,834 notes

🍒 cherriescoola Follow

btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life

2,284 notes

🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow

December 28, 2016

YES!!!

702,947 notes

🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow

guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do

🔪 violencekilling Follow

you gotta let him rob you that's the law

302,948 notes

👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow

look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name

💼 courtofwaw Follow

bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late

62,193 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited

#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore

7,293 notes

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs

🌈 lawsbian Follow

the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.

12,293 notes

🔮 inhighspirits Follow

why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy

837,495 notes

💞 lawveyourself Follow

seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree

💞 lawveyourself Follow

what do you mean evidence fraud

503,893 notes

🎧 instrumentalillness Follow

fuck you *unguilties your love*

384,568 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Daily fish fact #6 444 205

Fish!

The fish like to have a little drink :) Sadly as they drink the water around them they also drink their own pee, and that is the curse that they will have to live with for the rest of their life

#fish #fishfact #fish facts #fishblr #biology #zoology

( 2 notes )

🪼 clovergonads follow

Tasseled wobbegong women >>>>>>>>>>>

🐸 i-eat-skin follow

bitch those are goosefish

( 27,196 notes )

🐚 seashell-on-the-seashore follow

Say what you want about fishblr updates, but I think this format for reblubs is a wonderful improvement over the previous one. One of the only times staff did good.

🐚 seashell-on-the-seashore

@featherstar53 If reblub chains got too long, new reblubs would start appearing as darker and darker until you couldnt see the text anymore. It mimicked how light disappears as you go deeper in the ocean but the sunken code this webbedsite runs on never set a cap for how dark it gets, so eventually you would have to copy ad paste the text on the reblubs onto somewhere to read them.

🐍 swamplamprey follow

It sounds fake but it's true! You can still find some older fishblr post screenshots with this effect:

This even went for full abyssal mode users! In their case, the text would slowly turn from white to dark blue, effectively making it impossible to read against the black background.

🦞 fastest-claw-in-the-west follow

I think it would be super funny if they brought this back but for individual posts. Like the reblubs stay the same colour but the posts themselves get gradually and gradually darker until you can't see them anymore lol. It would be disastrous but also funny and it might finally stop some of you frys from being so addicted to this webbedsite

#im all for a bit of chaos lol #treasure trove: talking tag

( 730 notes )

🌿 invertlike-behaviour follow

Okay for the record. My eyes are Red because I'm a COMMON ROACH! RUTILUS RUTILUS! It's not because I smoke seaweed!

🌿 invertlike-behaviour

Okay Yes I smoke seaweed all day. But the specific reason my eyes are red is Not That

( 104 notes )

🦈 spiritually-placoderm follow

🫧 surgeonsturgeon follow

OP you forgot brackish water and the option for inhabiting both

🦈 spiritually-placoderm

Shut your inferior ass mouth up

🫧 surgeonsturgeon

#(i couldnt find the actual gif i wanted to use but this weird tiger shark will have to do) #(not sure why his fins look like that)

( 1,020 notes )

☀️ slenderfish follow

"ocean sunfish have over 40 parasite species" factoid actualy just statistical error. average ocean sunfish is infected with only one or two parasites. Parasites Georg, the mola who suffers from every ailment known to fish and has over 1 000 000 000 parasite species infesting his flesh and organs, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

( 193,239 notes)

🪷 trout-about-you follow

Selfieeeee :3 (ignore the two sea lampreys attached to my flesh)

🪲 toebiter follow

how did you take the picture you aren't holding your phone

🪷 trout-about-you

The sea lamprey on the left took it for me

( 58 notes )

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

FISH USED TO MIGRATE THOUSANDS OF MILES TO BREED. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!!!

IN MY DAY PUSSFISH LIKE THIS WOULD GET EATEN ALIVE BY REAL RIVER MONSTERS FOR BREAKFAST.

🐟 darting-action follow

these are Siamese fighting fish bruh.... They don't have migration as part of their life cycle lmao

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

OF COURSE THE YOUTH CAN'T PUNCTUATE THEIR SENTENCES PROPERLY. I SHOULDN'T EXPECT SO MUCH FROM THE SOFT FRY THEY ARE. ALWAYS GETTING RILED UP!

🔲 skip-hopper-deactivated

Ignore this guy, @darting-action. He's well known for saying offensive nonsense like this, I think he's bait and trying to get someone to bite.

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

YOU MUST BE ONE OF THOSE INBRED DOMESTIC SCUM OR HATCHED YESTERDAY SINCE YOU ENTIRELY LACK THICK SCALES. I SPEAK THE TRUTH AND ONLY THE TRUTH. IF YOU GET TRIGGERED THEN THAT'S NATURAL SELECTION, SON. YOU SHOULD FIGHT ME IN REAL LIFE.

�� walrus-tits-in-my-mouth-deactivated

You really dont know a thing about natural selection, do you? Bettas have flashy fins because they have to seem threatening to possible competitors. They don't migrate so they aren't built for that. They're built for living in ponds and marshes, low oxygen environments, and by cod, they are built for fighting territorial battles! You shouldn't underestimate a fish literally called fighting fish. They're very tough and hardy fish and can even send larger fish fleeing!

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

SIAMESE FLAILING PUSSFISH HAVE LADY FINS BECAUSE THEY'RE WEAK AND SOFT AND HAD HUMANS DECIDE WHO THEY BREED WITH FOR THEM. THEIR QUOTE UNQUOTE "FIGHTING PROWESS" SURE DIDN'T SAVE THEM FROM BEING PRISSY LITTLE PRINCESS FISHIES FOR LITTLE KIDS DID IT? THE INDUBIDABLE FACT IS THAT THEY'RE MUSKIE FOOD.

🔲 iknowthecrabbypattysecretformula-deactivated

Wait a minute... I recongize that picture on the right! That's from @betta-than-this 's OnlyFins! How did you get that picutre hmmm? Salmonidae? How on Ocean did you gain access huh?

🐠 betta-than-this follow

"Indubidable" is a pretty specific word to use. This you @salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated?

🔲 iknowthecrabbypattysecretformula-deactivated

LMAOOOOOO GOTTEMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔲 aquarium-life-deactivated

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

🐟 darting-action

woag i never saw this entire chain before until it hit me on my dashboard. Why does this have so many notes

Thanks fishblr user walrus tits in my mouth for biology info i didn't know

🫖 burgle-the-turts follow

Woah woah woah we're just gonna ignore this guy using p*ssfish as an insult!!???? THE CATFISH SLUR????????? No one is going to bring this up!!!!!???????

🔲 tilapia11128-deactivated

does anyone in this thread smoke seaweed

🌊 herringageposts follow

date of origin: 28th of august, 2017

( 392,229 notes )

🟧 sponsored

Suffering all alone, handsome?

No need to anymore.

👄 pollywannacracker follow

Reblub with your favorite snack in the tags! I’ll go first: coral polyps! :}

🚬 shark-noir follow

@ninjalantern-999

#as for me #my fave is definitely my lower set of teeth when they shed #crumchy :D

( 295 notes )

🩸 must-lunge follow

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STUPID HUMAN DROPPED ITS ELECTRONIC CAMERA IN THE LAKE!!!!!!!! NEVER GETTING THAT BACK BUB!!!!!! I'M TELLING ALL MY ISOPOD AND MUSSEL FRIENDS AND THEY'RE GONNA LIVE INSIDE IT!!!!!

🧑 official-human-posts follow

ofishal human post

#ofishal human post #this post contains humans

( 891 notes )

🦦 hellofromtheotterslide follow

Wait, how come this site is called fishblr and not something like oceanblr or aquablr? Wouldn't that be more inclusive?

👑 goldielocks follow

I believe the name "fishblr" pays homage to the meaning of the word where just about everything in the water was considered a fish. It's why we have words like "shellfish", "whalefish", "jellyfish", "starfish".

Personally aquablr would work really well, too. There's a sizeable amphibious userbase on here.

🦐 worldwideshrimp follow

You forgot whale shark! Those arent fish either but are called fish

👑 goldielocks

....Whale sharks are fish. They are sharks. It's in the name.

🦎 eye-of-newt follow

But I thought it was a whale named after sharks? WHALE shark! Why else would they put whale up first?

👑 goldielocks

A whale named after a shark would be called a shark whale. You can take one look at a whale shark and see that, with its gills and fish tail, it is a shark.

⚪️ number1-seacucumber-ass-enjoyer-77 follow

Wait, then what about baby whales? Are those whales named after babies?

👑 goldielocks

If you're talking about the actual whale babies, then yeah. If you mean the mormyrids, small aquatic animals that can sense electricity, then no, those are fish. Sometimes names are inaccurate to what the animal really is.

🌌 themanta1234 follow

If you think about it, fishblr is also inclusive to aquatic tetrapods since they are lobe-fins, and therefore fish :D It's a term that can include everyone on here, the perfect catchall!

🦑 abyssal-gigantism follow

Ewwww fuck that definition. If mammals hear about them being fish on some sort of """"technicality"""" then this webbedsite is gonna get flooded with those self-important idiots! "OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOOOO LoOk At MeEeEeEeEEE i'M a MaMmAL!!11!!! I TAKE CARE of mah BAAABIEEEES!1111 I'm SUCH a good MAMAAA!!! All those OTHER STUPID HEARTLESS ANIMALS could NEVER do as I DO!!! I LOVE sweating into my BAABIEEEES' MOUTH1!1!1!111!!! I'm FLUFFY and AWSUM and ERRYBODDY LUUUVSSSSS MEE!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! You should all LUV me TOO!!!!"

Is THAT how you want every fishblr post to look!!!!??????

🦛 drippohippo follow

😨

🪄 magicmanatee45 follow

DD:

🎼 humpbacked-musician-offishal follow

:'''((((

🐋 blainvilles-bitch follow

🕶️ egg-laying-mammal-of-action follow

:///////////

🐢 greenXD follow

i think jellyfish shouldn't be classified as fish because they're clearly living spaghetti

🌜 foolish-idol follow

Great fucking post everyone. Hit the air bubblers

( 60,376 notes )

🟩 ultrahyva-heihoi follow

Guys what the fuck kind of sponsors does fishblr have I just saw an ad for having parasites housed in me who are they advertising to 😭💀💀

#i swear the quality of this site keeps going down and down #if you see ads for parasites then report the shit out of em #fuck em my friend got early onset cataracts due to parasites

( 4 notes )

😃 doweopenandcloseourmouthtoday follow

Yes! :) :O :) :O :) :O :) :O

[foggysilverfeathers]

Fake HC 10 dashboard mayhaps??

0 notes

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

Reminder to love yourself! Smell the trees! Everything will be okay in the end 😊 ☀️

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

nvm gem ran out of pickles im depressed again

🐟 gemstone Follow

I RESTOCKED THIS MORNING HOW HAVE YOU ALREADY SOLD ME OUT

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

1,930 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 126 without a mending book

27 notes

🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow

uM hey @.hpo-official could i ask why you havent' received my messages?/? Every calsl Ive made just puts me on holdd

⬜️ hpo-official-948204deactivated

Sorry about that, sir. Admin error. I'll speak to my manager.

🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow

...hELLO?

🌸 joel-beans Follow

lmao they deactivated what a loser

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

Remember there's a person behind every poor worker! I see you bullies in the notes

🐟 gemstone Follow

@/mending-book-fanatic is a hermit permit office spy confirmed??

2,441 notes

🌸 joel-beans Follow

Guys everyone agrees that purpur is cheap and beautiful and godlike and everyone should go buy it right now this second *sweats*

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

I feel like I'm missing something...

🌸 joel-beans Follow

SHE HAS EYES EVERYWHERE BDUBS

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

Joel!

🌸 joel-beans Follow

If I don’t respond within the hour assume she got me

133 notes

🎩 symmetrical-minister Follow

anyone know a good shop for ethically-sourced wood?? i normally shop at big wood but ive heard things about a mafia :/

🪓 big-salmon Follow

That is absolutely NOT true!! If anything you should be targeting the crypto scheme at Big Wood,,

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

aaaand this is why you should never trust businessmen in red suits

🪓 big-salmon Follow

says the one compensating with a massive HOURGLASS of all things

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Actually @.big-salmon Xisuma_voyd made a really well-explained video here going into detail about all of the shady elements of Big Wood, it's worth a watch.

🐟 gemstone Follow

To answer the original question OP here are some safer (privately owned!) shops :)

Gem's Moss Shop (azaleas for sale which can be bonemealed)

Bdub's Bamboo Shop (bamboo wood is a good eco-friendly alternative to your typical spruce or oak)

The Purr-purr bus (if you're okay with having slightly more exotic trees, from the End)

Hope this helped! <3

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

Why would you pay diamonds for less when you could just pay a few grains of sand for the best quality wood in the shopping district? You people confuse me

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

actually the Purr-purr bus isn't ethical at all!! ive heard they blackmail people into giving them sails!!!

🐟 gemstone Follow

*sales

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

SHUDDUP

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

:(

2,750 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 131 without a mending book

34 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 164 without a mending book

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Grian you know you can get free mending books at the cat cafe right

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

it's not the same

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

I need to be able to smell the breath of the sea between its sodden pages

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

continue along the same path and you'll soon be facing villager unions

2,316 notes

🔥 tongo-tak Follow

Friendly reminder that not everyone wakes up at 2am, so please tag your Pearldle spoilers for at least a few hours!!

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

skill issue tbh

1,102 notes

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

hallo how flirt with pretty girl time sensitive question

🌺 git-gorgeous Follow

sell them something

🔥 tongo-tak Follow

bribe diamonds

🐍 puppet-master Follow

kill them

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

okay will do!!!!

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

wait

2,989 notes

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Happy pride month to lgbtqia+ people of all ages, genders and sexualities, you're all so valid and so loved <3 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

🐟 gemstone Follow

<3

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

I'm making a rainbow beacon for pride, come look for it! i'll be with it by my husband @ renthedog's hole all week

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

*HOLE

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

*HOME

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

WAIT I ACCIDENTALLY TAGGED IT

🐾 renthedog Follow

um.

2,655 notes

🌸 joel-beans Follow

etho is just kakashi on maple syrup send post

🌸 joel-beans Follow

almost forgot to add important additional difference! etho is also obsessed with me

1,113 notes

[times-of-drought]

🕳my-worship-blog follow

#this one is fire!

🎆quiet-adoration follow

#I really like this one :)

💍stillness-altar follow

#I find this one one of the best for me!

🌁gayforschekhnane

Why is tumblr recommending me.... digital offerings to Cseni??

#I'm on the weird side of the site huh #no hate to Cseni or its followers btw I love you guys #you are one of the freakiest ppl tho #it's unsettling #no offence

[mummelthecryptid]

tumblr if it was ghosts

@gwensy look at my ghost dashboard

🏚️cunty-phantom follow

ough my downstairs neighbors are soooo annoying "can you stop rattling your chains at 3am" this and "some people actually still need to sleep" that. first of all. when you get to my state of decomposition youll understand. second of all. how else am i supposed to haunt this attic, bitch? by being nice and polite?

👻coo0ochie-haunter follow

some of you (not naming names) don't know how good you have it. oooo the straight up castle youre haunting doesn't have enough leaks to drip water through creeply when it rains? well my fucking graveyard got bulldozed and turned into a shitty gasstation. so maybe be more grateful next time

#vague #rant

🏰lonelylady follow

i just wish the couple renovating my castle to turn it into an air bnb hadn't closed up all the leaks in the roof :/

#i really liked the sounds the rain made when it dripped through #i AM exited for the new company though :3

🌲slimy-spectre follow

can we honestly destigmatise ectoplasm? its a normal part of being a ghost, especially for those of us with psychic powers and im so sick of nobody talking about it because they think its "gross" or "too slimy".

👻coo0ochie-haunter follow

just say you dont practice personal hauntgiene and stop posting about your disgusting habits on hauntblr smh

🌲slimy-spectre follow

someone clearly watched too much ghostbusters

#also thats literally not how it works AT ALL

🌑ghoulishous follow

boring victorian dresses are OUT, old bedsheets are IN.

#i know the whole "ghosts wear bedsheets" thing is a huge misconception by humans #but they did kinda pop off with it #may i also say #they make me feel extremely gender

[strangestcase]

🧟‍♀️ ghoul4ghoul Follow

Are thwre like heterosexual monsters

🧟‍♀️ ghoul4ghoul Follow

Im serious i dont think ive ever met a straight monster and i died in like 1989

🪰 horridmutant

Maybe it’s because the moment you become a monster you realize how meaningless human rules are and eventually come out

🧑‍🔬 drfagandmrdyke Follow

Not true I drank an evil potion and became gay

🧑‍🔬 drfagandmrdyke Follow

The government hates me because I’m two trans people

🐍 venom-spitter Follow

The snakes on my head are bi but I’m straight

🌧️ actual-real-angel Follow

I NEVER HAD A GENDER TO BEGIN WITH 👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️ DOES THAT COUNT

🔥 fiendfromthepit Follow

We should make a study on why both skeletons and angels type in all caps

Lack of junk perhaps?

💀 ribdude3 Follow

I HVE A BONE PENIS (:

🐺 lycan-lucky Follow

I feel like this post has taken a Turn

🧛🏻 countless Follow

*timidly raises hand*

Getting turned was my gay awakening

🧝🏻‍♀️ fairy-dyyke Follow

May I Have Your Gender ?

[sedgewick-gayble]

roaring twenties tumblr simulator pt. 2

🎙 fancy-nancyboy Follow

men be like "i would never succumb to homosexuality" and then hold a mans face tenderly as he lights his cigarette with his own. okayy pansy we see you

( 655 notes )

💄 thewhoringtwenties Follow

art deco more like art dicko! aaaand post

( 27 notes )

🎥 claras-bowtie Follow

attended a petting party last saturday and there were no animals not even at all :(

#WHY WOULD THEY CALL IT THAT

( 12 notes )

🕯 tuberculosiswarrior Follow

i lov my mother and father so nuch forever i cannot wait to attend my new job at the dubious factory where there have never been any machinery incidents evr before

( 73 notes )

🎩 Rate-my-setup Follow

Submitted by anonymous.

( 3,887 notes )

thebeesknees Follow reblogged 🔁 jazzcat Follow

🎺 jazzcat Follow

The cocaine in coca-cola just doesnt hit the same anymore....

📰 itsallcopacetic Follow

OP they took out the cocaine

🎺 jazzcat Follow

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY TOOK OUT THE COCAINE

🕰 thebeesknees Follow

tumblr heritage post

( 13,985 notes )

🚬 runrummer Follow

Hes so puppycoded

( 8 notes )

moonshiningitup Follow reblogged 🔁 moonshiningitup Follow

🥃 moonshiningitup Follow

The eroticism of the machinery incidents at the dubious factory

🥃 moonshiningitup Follow

Easy website

( 12,109 notes )

🥂 cake-eater Follow

There is a gang war in Chicago. The first gang to get to 100 kills, gets to take over that part of the city. You NEED to be careful, Babe Ruth. You could be at high risk because of your high status. PLEASE be safe, everyone in or around Chicago, and please reblog this to get it to the celebrities in Chicago

( 20,098 notes )

[zoologica42]

temperate stream dashboard simulator

🌊Smexy_eel_lady Follow selfie from my new apartment! I found a lovely rock somehow in my budget and I'm f(eel)ing so lucky!

#finally made it ♻️ 🪱detritus_luvr Follow Enough with that, TELL US HOW YOU FUCK

🐸 flychomper Follow I can't believe how many of my logmates haven't heard of/seen BROOKlyn 99, do they all live under a rock?

♻️ 🦞benTHICCC-biome Follow I can't stand this, it's 2024 and people on this wetsite still use "live under a rock" as an insult. I can't fucking even, do you know how disenfranchising it is to hear people talk with scorn about the way you and your family have lived for generations? go dry out, sir. ♻️ 🪷lowflowvegetation Follow reblogging bcs important, but also please don't tell people to dry themselves out!

🐟deepchannelfan Follow callout post for @smoothturtleleech I have no issue with parasitism, but have any of you noticed how turtleleech \only\ parasitizes turtles? kinda problematic imo. #calloutpost ♻️ 🐢smoothturtleleech Follow I also parasitized your mom last night lol

🐠riverartist Follow Art and artist! Really happy with how this one came out! took me about 10 hrs to get the pebbles together and assemble them.

#artistsontumblr #sculpture #pebblework

♻️🐍nerodiaaa Follow wtf that's so cool! lmk if you take commissions ♻️🦎sal-the-mander Follow going to make this my streamsaver #the highest quality content on this horrible wetsite

🐟salmonidayyyy Follow I love you catadromous fishes I love you anadromous fishes I love you migrants. Never let anyone tell you that you aren't stream fauna bcs you haven't spent your whole life in the stream or weren't born here {flaps you with my fins]

♻️🛶virgeon-sturgeon Follow Thanks bro, I really needed to hear that, {flaps you with my fins].

🐚riffleranger Follow MMMMMM I WANNA LAY ALL MY EGGS IN THESE PEBBLES, SUCH GOOD PEBBLES I LOVE THESE PEBBLES.

♻️🐌algaegrazer Follow @riffleranger this U?

♻️🐚riffleranger OP Follow I should be offended, but yes, I am her, she is me

♻️🐚riffleranger OP Follow OH WAIT, OH SHIT THAT IS ME WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PHOTO????