#failure is contagious

[lovetgr76]

Catherine & Jackson

They’re not a couple, but they kind of are… here’s how… or why… maybe… Starting from S1e1 - written for a friend to show how this show is NOT about Catherine and Jackson... but also, it's TOTALLY about Catherine and Jackson! lol - feel free to chime in with thoughts, feelings, etc.

S1e1 Failure is Contagious

First time we see Jackson, he’s waking up, it’s a mess, he’s coughing and smoking at the same time, he looks outside, gloomy, raining, but wait… his eyes are caught by something, and he follows …

Catherine is seen crossing the street, in her boots and coat and purse strapped across her chest, with the floral print umbrella.

Standish, make her way up the street, clocks Moody at the bus stop, makes her way up the 4 floors at Aldersgate and is unseen/ignored by all of the other Slow Horses.  She gets to her office, turns on the light, puts away her things and 3 seconds later…. “STANDISH!” lol – she’s been noticed!

She is seen making her way to his office with a stack of folders but stands at the doorway to his office and doesn’t speak until she is spoken to –

Are they all in? – Lamb; All except River and Sid – Standish; Last one in can clean my lav - Lamb

*banging happens as someone is opening the door downstairs*

Standish and Lamb look disappointed in the slow horses in general for a moment.

I thought spooks were supposed to be stealthy – Lamb

Catherine grants him a tiny smile as she turns to go back towards her office.

Other Slow Horses comments and interactions w/ Standish

River – makes the “a reason not to blow my brains out!” comment

Struan – that Catherine is a tough nut to crack

Min – She never lightens up. Lamb’s lackey.

Louisa – talks about … what happened before (aka Partner)

Sid arrives with the laptop – aka SOMETHING happens at Slough House and …

“STANDISH! Flash Box!” – Lamb

Standish brings the Flash Box, stands silently, assists in getting it open…

“I’ve got a call to make, so if the pair of you wouldn’t mind, you know, fucking off” – Lamb

To Standish – Get me Lady Di.

Jackson is sleeping (or is he?) with his feet on the desk & Catherine (with coat and scarf on, as if ready to leave for the day) comes in to put a stack of folders on his desk.

She moves another folder to make room for the stack, putting them carefully on the edge of his desk.

Lamb kicks them over, on purpose, without reason… other than his… amusement? Into the trash can next to his desk and onto the floor as he leans back and sighs while watching her

What did your last servant die of? – Standish

Interesting that she calls herself servant, instead of secretary or personal assistant.

She immediately kneels to pick up the folders.

What did your last boss die of? – Lamb

He puts his feet back on the floor and reaches into a drawer to pull out TWO glasses and a bottle.

Because Standish is kneeling, this is at eye level for her and she hears the clinking of glass, trying to keep her head down.

She clearly sees Lamb pulling out TWO glasses, while gathering the folders in her arms, but is seen looking up at him, and then back down to the floor, then at the glasses being filled… as the moody music starts to play – this is dangerous territory, even if we don’t know it yet.

Standish puts the stack back on the corner of his desk and stands up while staring at the two glasses… she glances at Lamb, but goes back to staring at the booze. Dark music continues to suggest the seriousness of the moment.

Standish standing straight is seen as trying to calm her own desires as we see her shoulders go from tense and tight to her seemingly sighing and becoming resolved… as Lamb moves a glass of whiskey directly in front of her, taking a deep breath himself, in direct contrast to her own breathing.

Wanted to add that this particular moment has been brought up to the actors in interviews where Gary Oldman was asked WHY Lamb would offer Standish a drink knowing she’s an alcoholic.  Oldman stated that he sincerely believed Lamb was a bit jealous of her, her ability to say no, her resolve.  He, Lamb, would not or could not say no to whiskey and he admires / appreciates that she won’t… no matter how he tries to needle her – to anger her – to provoke her – and then to offer her – her preferred poison… his preferred poison!

Standish glares at him for a moment shaking her head “NO”… she will NOT drink today, and walks off as he’s already finishing his own drink.

Lamb finishes his drink in one gulp as Standish walks out and he’s left alone looking down at her offered drink, gulping that one down as well.

Next time we see Standish, she’s at her AA meeting.  She is not speaking, just listening, but we see her struggling a bit emotionally.  She is remembering finding Charles Partner’s, her ex-boss…

She is seen with flowers, she’s younger (hair color is darker?!) – she’s got makeup on – she wears no makeup now – her skirts are a bit shorter, her neckline a bit lower – she’s smiling and looks beautiful as she calls out for Charles. She finds him, though, we only see clues – he’s got Opera music playing, he’s in the bath, there’s blood dripping outside of the bath, and she sees him, she gasps and covers her mouth in shock. Music is intense and dramatic, this is traumatic.

Catherine is called out in her AA meeting, asked if she wants to speak. 

My name is Catherine and I’m an alcoholic. I’ll just listen tonight. – Standish.

Slow Horses are gathered in Roddy’s office watching the latest news about the hostage situation when Lamb is seen walking in from the stairs. Lamb says explaining the situation to them is like explaining Norway to a dog, and demands that they all go back to shuffling papers.

[commonsensecommentary]

Flash forward 5-10 years: America’s junkyards will be filled with rusting electric vehicles whose batteries are leaking toxic heavy metals that are leaching into the ground water. Environmentally-friendly? Who believes this propaganda?

[angsttronaut]

one of the weird things about life expectancies in warrior cats stretching out as the series goes on is that lionblaze is 8 years old with adult grandchildren and showing no signs of age or even retiring, while yellowfang was depicted as old af when she died at the age of 8.

[comraderoscoes]

lewis unfollowing the england nt after they lost is so so funny to me lmaoo. like dw baby failure’s not contagious

[emziess]

Olivia Cooke as Sidonie "Sid" Baker Slow Horses – S01E01 – Failure’s Contagious

[shaesinflames]

🌥️ Rainbow Factory Infection AU🌥️

Hello everypony!! Ive been loving the infection stuff and wanted to jump onto the trend myself with an AU that came to me very suddenly. I'm gonna try and get all my thoughts out here:

☁️ Scootaloo fails her flying assessment by getting disqualified for checking on her injured friend who had crashed during their turn. The two of them get taken to the Rainbow Factory as a punishment for their failure, and quickly realize the deadly situation they're in.

🌈 There are few dozen pegasi there already. All of their wings have been torn off of them, their cutiemarks are branded over, and chains are fastened around either their legs or neck. They all seem so... dull. As if the color has been stolen from them.

☁️ Rainbow Dash enters to examine the new sacrifices, and is mortified when she sees Scootaloo. She had trained her every day to prevent this from happening; she never wanted the pony she thought of as a little sister to end up here. Dash had to quickly decide if she was more loyal to her career, or to her friends.

🌈 She chooses Scootaloo. This does not go over well. Whether you enter the Rainbow Factory as a prisoner or an employee, you were not allowed to leave until you died. Rainbow Dash grabs Scootaloo and attempts to flee with her.

☁️ A chase ensues. She realizes that even if they do escape, they wouldn't be free. They would be hunted for as long as the factory existed. The answer suddenly seems obvious. Dash veers away from the exit and heads deeper into the building, straight for the core.

🌈 Because of her high status in the company (and a lot of kicking), Rainbow Dash gets into the restricted access room and corrupts the core, sparking a reactor meltdown. Her and Scootaloo manage to escape seconds before the core collapses, and the Rainbow Factory is lost to the rainbows it created.

☁️ Not long after, ponies begin to emerge from the ruins. Well, they seem to still be ponies. Mostly ponies. The Inital Victims. The pegasi who had been deemed useless and dispensable in one way or another, and had been put through torture for weeks or months in order to drain them of their very magic and soul.

🌈 The Victims seem to have a symbiotic relationship with the Rainbow Infection in their body. They live just out of reach of death; gaunt and hollow, yet somehow surviving. Blind, weak, and terrified, they seem to believe they're still trapped in the factory, and will viciously maul any living being they sense with a newfound strength. So far, they don't seem to be curable, or killable.

☁️ The Infected pegasi have a much more unpleasant experience. Every waking moment is nothing but agony as the infection consumes their magic and feast on their vessel, reducing them to nothing more than another fluffy white cloud looming in the sky.

🌈 The Infected aren't hostile, and seem to still be lucid up until their death. However, they are incredibly contagious, and the final stage of the infection seems to be designed specifically to further the disease.

☁️ Unicorns and Earth ponies are completely immune to the Rainbow Infection. Alicorns are not. The princess's have been barricaded in Celestia's castle to protect them all.

🌈 Without any pegasi to moderate the weather, it has become increasingly unpredictable and harsh, making typical farm work almost impossible. The Survivors are getting low on rations, and they're getting desperate and hungry.

I think thats about it. Idk at the time of writing this its 3am lol.

[pichirobi]

fire, air, water, earth.

prince xie lian is one of the most promising up-and-coming avatars the world has yet to see. that is, until disaster strikes his home earth kingdom of xianle. when his people die out at the hands of a plague spirit, bai wuxiang, the nations blame the avatar. with his reputation destroyed, xie lian joins the air nomads for 20 years and travels the world as a scrap-collector. although he has lost the respect of the people he is destined to protect, the spirit world is thrown into chaos without his guidance. xie lian works thanklessly to maintain global balance all on his own. but unbeknownst to him, there's one person, upon the throne of the fire nation, who still believes in the avatar.

welcome to my tgcf x atla au!

click here to follow this tag for updates. read more below for my story notes.

STORY

xie lian is born to the king and queen of an earth kingdom city-state, xianle, and is quickly discovered to be the avatar. a wildly talented one, at that. he learns firebending second, and waterbending third. still young and pampered, xie lian struggles with the humility associated with airbending principles.

at just the age of 17 he begins to travel the world to master the four elements and [katara narrator voice] to restore peace and balance in the world. he acquires a servant (firebender mu qing) and a bodyguard (earthbender & childhood best friend feng xin). it's during this time that he tours the fire nation, meeting with political figures and impoverished citizens alike, gaining a positive reputation for his determination and skills. to celebrate the summer solstice, xie lian is the face of a festival in which he proves his elegance, combative strength, and firebending prowess. during the ceremony, he controversially interrupts it to save the life of a 10-year-old urchin boy.

the lines between the spirit and mortal worlds bleed together during solstices. it's xie lian's festival which attracts a particularly violent spirit to emerge into the mortal world: bai wuxiang. the white-clothed calamity.

xie lian's life is filled with promise until he turns 22. he catches word of a disaster taking place in his home kingdom. he puts a pause on his tour of the nations to return to xianle. there, he finds that a strange and highly contagious disease has begun plaguing his people. its symptoms are unnatural; the work of an angry spirit. xie lian works himself to the bone trying to save his common people. he fails.

when xianle falls to plague, to chaos, to fear, its people blame the avatar. he is dubbed the avatar of misfortune. a failure. xie lian's reputation crumbles to dust and he is helpless to restore his people's faith in him. when the rest of the world learns of how xianle came to ruin, the avatar becomes not a figure of peace to be revered, but a bad omen.

having lost his two companions, his parents, his kingdom, and the global adoration he's come to rely on for his self-worth, xie lian runs away. he disowns his past identity and seeks to start a new life. he finds himself in the northern air temples, where the air nomads pay him no mind, although xie lian is a bit of an oddball. (xie lian might look rougher and jaded but they certainly recognize the avatar. they pretend to not know him—the nomads keep to themselves and as long as xie lian doesn't cause trouble, he is welcome.) he eventually befriends a monk named shi qingxuan.

xie lian seeks enlightenment. he incorporates himself into the monks' way of life, releasing all ties to material possessions and worldly indulgences. he abstains from sex, alcohol, anger, and, hardest of all, grief. he goes on to live 20 years as a scrap collector, practicing what he was taught by his teacher and guide, monk wu yong. xie lian knows it's time to leave the temples when he finally masters airbending.

humbled, xie lian rekindles his fighting spirit. the common people loathe the avatar, but he forgives them. he will save them.

as xie lian wanders the nations, he learns that during his darkest years, literature, art, and scholarly works of the avatar have been destroyed. most people don't even remember what he looks like and much less have the means to learn anything about him. (hua cheng carving xl's face into the side of a mountain: HOLD MY BEER)

meanwhile, there is a fire nation urchin boy who has grown into someone powerful enough to be feared. through his unmatched wit and charisma, he has worked his way up the capital's political hierarchy. a city governor who calls himself hua cheng, is the first aristocrat to challenge the firelord to an agni kai. he is also the first to win. he delegitimizes the royal bloodline and single-handedly reshapes a generation's idea of a competent ruler. bonus points for the previous firelord being xie lian's indecent cousin, qi rong.

now 35 years old, the new firelord, terrifying yet respected by all, leads his people to prosperity and vanquishes every enemy. peculiarly, he seems somewhat uninterested in his position of power. instead, he enjoys turning his attention towards erecting a shrine, a palace, in honor of avatar xie lian.

HUALIAN'S BACKSTORY

the avatar preceding xie lian, jun wu, oversaw great conflicts between the four nations. it is during one of these wars that a seemingly insignificant teenager dies. his soul drifts aimlessly in the spirit world, vulnerable, alone. he encounters the trickster spirit koh who steals his face. time is hard to account for in this realm, and the once-a-teenager forgets his past life, his own identity, simply choosing to refer to himself as wu ming: nameless. many years later, the avatar cycle begins anew with the birth of xie lian.

at 7 years old, prince xie lian and his best friend feng xin are outdoors playing with swords. feng xin takes a break, as he is called inside by the king of xianle, leaving xie lian outside and unsupervised. (feng xin will shortly be told that xie lian is not only his friend, but now his responsibility.) meanwhile, xie lian is left without a sparring partner. until a ghostly silver butterfly flits in front of him. it playfully weaves around the flourishes of the blade. xie lian chases it, away from the palace grounds, across the fields and into the brush, where he falls head-first through a burrow. when he stands up, his sword has disappeared, but not the butterfly. it pulls his attention upward, where he takes in his surroundings: the spirit world.

xie lian continues to play and greet spirits, who are all pleased to meet the new avatar, eventually finding a sad, dissipating ghost fire. the ghost introduces itself as wu ming. xie lian works very hard to cheer it up, promising they'll be friends in this lifetime and the next. wu ming brightens and confesses that koh has stolen its face. xie lian fails to tolerate this news: if he's to be the avatar, he must protect the innocent and slay monsters. with wu ming's warnings, he marches to koh's den to demand his friend's face back.

xie lian succeeds. wu ming doesn't remember much these days, but he's sure that no one has ever showed him such incredible kindness. when wu ming expresses his desire to disappear, xie lian gives him a mantra: "live for me."

xie lian has to leave, to return to a very worried feng xin (who is scared he's already failed his new bodyguard job on day one), but wu ming is invigorated with life like never before. his soul persists, stubbornly, for the avatar. he is reborn back into the mortal world as a fire nation boy. although, the encounter with koh would leave a mark on his body: the sclera of his right eye would be an unsettling blood red. the people of his village would know him as hong hong-er.

elsewhere in the spirit world, the ghost of avatar jun wu senses young xie lian's presence. he also senses the persistence of the ghost fire—a soul reborn. could he, too, return to the mortal world? jun wu entertains a simple but horrifying thought: by swapping places with xie lian, could he achieve immortality as the world's last avatar? thus, jun wu hatches a plan. he strikes a deal with bai wuxiang, the white-clothed calamity, a malevolent plague spirit. bai wuxiang would possess the body of jun wu to eliminate the new avatar. to kill xie lian, and to be reborn.

the plan doesn't go—well, according to plan. the people of xianle are wiped out before he can get his hands on xie lian, and the destruction of a people leaves behind a universal distrust of the avatar. jun wu realizes he would be unable to seize power in such an environment. his new strategy must involve controlling young xie lian, manipulating him into a puppet. it takes a while to pin him down, but jun wu eventually finds him settled in the northern air temple, at his most emotionally vulnerable. jun wu will impersonate a monk teacher, changing his name to wu yong. he will bide his time and play his cards until the world is ready for his return.

EXTRAS

hualian are middle-aged men in this au because it makes sense timeline-wise, but also because sexy silver fox xie lian is what i see every time i close my eyes.

narratively, i'm torn between hua cheng loving the avatar, or hua cheng loving xie lian. thinking about this timeless lovestory, "you, not the state of you," i can see it both ways. hua cheng might love the avatar, xie lian and all of his reincarnations regardless of their body. or, he might love xie lian, regardless of the "avatar" title. ("avatar" may also be this world's equivalent to hua cheng respectfully calling xie lian "dianxia".)

firelord hua cheng presents himself at what he believes is his ugliest, most intimidating form: exposing his burned right eye. as san lang, however, he is at first ashamed to reveal such a vulnerable part of him in front of his love; he covers it with an eyepatch. (the people of the fire nation are like: "a platypus?" [san lang takes off his eyepatch] "PERRY THE PLATYPUS?!?!")

hua cheng teaches xie lian how to bend lightning. they easily trade bolts back and forth to each other in a cute and intimate way. feng xin and mu qing are horrified when they first see this in action.

hualian's first kiss happens when they're battling a sea monster underwater and xie lian loses his concentration enough to accidentally pop hua cheng's air bubble. a little mouth-to-mouth resuscitation will do the trick until they can float back up to the surface.

ruoye = xl's spiritual serpent guide (kind of like roku's dragon)

e'ming = hc's super clingy fire ferret

[rinhaler]

We Groove and We Dance

CHAPTER SUMMARY: After Megumi destroyed your art coursework, you decide to skip class the following day and start fresh. But Yuuji invites you to a paint party you can't resist. Hopefully nothing goes wrong!

boyfriend!yuuji itadori x f!reader x bully!megumi fushiguro

WARNINGS : 18+, dubcon/noncon, consensual dry humping, bullying, fingering, drugging, choking, degradation, bladder failure (NOT piss kink), vomiting, marking??? clubbing, choking.

WORDS : 5.7k

notes : damn megumi's kind of a dick huh asdfghjhgf

        LAST CHAPTER ┊ MASTERLIST ┊ NEXT CHAPTER

You didn’t dare utter a word when you got into Yuuji’s car. It was just as well, really, because he kept blathering on about his class. Apparently one of his classmates took a huge fall while jumping hurdles. It was embarrassing for the boy, but hilarious for all of those who witnessed.

Normally you’d be laughing with Yuuji. His laugh is so contagious, and his smile is the type that could make you smile too, no matter how upset or angry you were. But not today. Today your heart is thumping, if not for the music Yuuji is blaring in the car, you’re certain he would have heard the sound of your vital organ pounding against your ribcage. Your eyes are hollow. All you could do was face forward out of the front window and hope to get home as soon as possible. You keep replaying the moment that made you temporarily mute over and over in your mind. That wasn’t you. You’ve never felt that way before. Pure, unadulterated hatred. The way you destroyed Megumi’s sketchbook wasn’t normal. The insane laughter that followed wasn’t normal either. It’s like he broke you. Is that his plan?

Is Megumi Fushiguro trying to break you?

The first word you spoke to Yuuji since you stepped into his car was a sharp ‘no!’ after he asked if you wanted to get a McDonald’s before you headed home.

All you want is the comfort and safety of your house. You want to lock yourself away and forget every single thing that happened today.

As soon as you step foot inside, you slam the door behind you and lock it instantly. Your boyfriend turns to face you with a raised brow, he knows something is going on and he isn’t the type to ignore his intuition. But instead of questioning you, he pulls you closer to him by your wrist and gently kissed at your neck. His sweet lips were tickling you and even in your terrified state you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Do you wanna talk about it baby?” he asks you.

“I don’t think I should…” you whimper, nuzzling yourself into his chest.

He squeezes you tighter, closer to his body. Repeatedly smothering the crown of your head in quick, loving kisses.

“Do you wanna sit on my face while you talk about it?” he teases, kissing you again as he waited for your answer. You’re pretty sure it was a joke, but you know how much Yuuji loves eating you out, so if you actually wanted to do that, he’d be more than happy to oblige. You softly push him away and fake-punch his arm.

“Not today.” you speak, turning away from him to go into your bedroom.

What you do want, is a nap.

You don’t even have the energy to put any pyjamas on. After getting yourself down to your panties and bare chest, you collapse on top of your mattress and curl into a ball. Yuuji follows you into the bedroom, he didn’t pressure you to talk, but he rests his hand on your shoulder as your body rises and falls while you sob silently.

“I hate seeing you like this, try and get some sleep. Okay?” he tells you, you can’t answer with words. But you nod in agreement. “Do you want me to get you anything?” he wonders. You shake your head in response. He leans over to kiss your cheek. He stays with you for a while, until he's sure you’ve drifted off. It didn’t take too long for the pressure of the day and your crying to knock you out into a heavy nap.

You needed this.

You really needed this.

Three hours.

You napped for three hours.

You wake up at 8pm, confused and agitated. You were slightly irritated that Yuuji didn’t wake you, because you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight now that you’ve slept to such a ridiculous time. When you get out of bed, you pull on one of Yuuji’s old t-shirts and leave your room to find him.

But you can’t be mad.

You couldn’t be mad at him after you told him you didn’t need anything, but he went to the store anyway. He was sitting comfortably on the sofa, eyes drooped, clearly bored of whatever he is watching on the TV. In front of him is a spread-out selection of chocolate, crisps, biscuits and gummy sweets. His eyes widen when he notices you, and that trademark smile of his sprawls across his face.

“I didn’t know what to get, so I got all of your favourites.” he tells you as he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. Tears began to prick at your eyes. It had been a hard, draining day. And yet, even without telling him a single thing he managed to brighten your mood. “I rented The Shining too, it’s your favourite right?”

“Right.” you earnestly smile, completely touched that he went to so much effort for you.

“Even though you get scared every single time we’ve watched it together.” he taunts playfully, he begins to pat the space beside him on the sofa inviting you to sit down.

“Don’t poke fun, it’s not my fault Jack Nicholson is such a convincing actor! He’s amazing and—”

“Yeah yeah, save it for the movie princess. You can do your own commentary you’ve seen it so many times.” he interrupts before you could finish your sentence. He was right though. You could talk about the film the entire time about what you like about it and little tidbits you knew.

And he’d let you.

He’d let you and he’d smile while you did it.

The amount of snacks you consumed is criminal. You actually think you might die or explode at any minute. Yuuji ate even more than you did, and you couldn’t believe he was fine. You don’t know where he puts it, you’d be impressed if you didn’t feel so violently sick from over consumption. The movie ends, but you couldn’t be bothered to move from your cosy spot. You’d gotten yourself comfortable, nestled into Yuuji’s chest while he held an arm around you.

A squeal rips from your chest as Yuuji picks you up in his arms bridal style. You forget how strong he is. The way he holds you makes you feel like you weigh nothing at all. It was disappointing that he didn’t carry you all of the way to bed. Instead, he dropped you off in the bathroom. He wetted your toothbrush for you and put on some toothpaste before he did the same for himself. You were grateful, because of the lack of energy you had you knew you wouldn’t have done it otherwise. You’re looking at each other as you brush in the mirror above the sink. Foam forming in both of your mouths. After you both spit, he pokes harshly at your chest. You pull the fabric assuming he means you dribbled a bit. But when you’re at your most vulnerable he takes the opportunity to lift his finger and flick your nose. You try to begin playfighting with him; but he instantly grabs your wrists and throws you over his shoulder.

“Nice try.” he laughs.

Yuuji opens the bedroom window as far as it’ll go before turning on the fan he bought for the room. The heat is unbearable, and the fact you were both full of food wasn’t helping matters either. He lay on his back while you turn away from him facing the window. He slips a hand up the back of your shirt and began to delicately trace with his fingers, knowing the tickling sensation helps you sleep.

You pluck up the courage to tell Yuuji an idea you’ve had before you drift off to sleep for the night.

“I’m not going to uni tomorrow.” you tell him bluntly.

There’s an uncomfortable silence. It’s a beat of silence that’s somehow filled with a boisterous amount of noise that makes your stomach churn. There’s not a word spoken. But you can hear the irritation in your boyfriend’s throat as he coughs to clear it. You can feel the way his relaxed face tenses and contracts as a scowl forms. It’s impossible to miss the furrowing of his brows, the squinting of his eyes or the clenching of his teeth.

“Fushiguro said something to you, didn’t he?” he almost grunts.

It's so easy to love Yuuji. It's so easy to be hopelessly in love with him, because he just knows you. It’s not even been a year since you began dating but he can read you like a book. You should have known, really, because he’s always like this. He knows how to read between the lines and know exactly what you mean. Anyone else would assume you were just skipping, taking some personal time off to be lazy and lounge around. But not Yuuji. Because he really knows you. He knows that you don’t take time off unless you absolutely have to. He had to battle with you to stay home around Christmas time when you caught a winter cold.

So what other reason would you want to stay home other than Megumi Fushiguro?

“Tell me what he said.” he demands. You could feel him burning holes into the back of your head as he awaits an answer.

“He didn’t—”

“Don’t lie to me. Don’t cover for him. You need to tell me, now.” he says as his volume increased. It scares you a little. He’s never been angry with you before, so he’s never had any reason to raise his voice or yell. But you know he isn’t angry with you, he’s angry at him.

“Please. Yuuji please I don’t want to talk about it. I promise he didn’t do anything I just,” you pause, feeling the tears well in your eyes again while you thought about it. You couldn’t stand Megumi. You couldn’t stand that he was making you lie to your boyfriend for the first time ever. It wasn’t like you were planning on keeping it to yourself forever. You just needed a plan. You needed time to think. “It wasn’t his fault, really, it was mine. He was showing me some ink and I spilled it all over my sketchbook and ruined everything. I’m just a little stressed since I’m gonna have to start all over. I just… I need tomorrow to myself to try and make a new body of work.”

He's silent again. You can hear him breathing heavily, he’d wound himself up thinking about Megumi upsetting you. He's trying to steel himself so he doesn’t snap. His resolve and agitation crumble when you rolled over to face him. Your big teary doe eyes staring up at him so innocently, he couldn’t stay mad when you were like this.

“I know you’re lying to me.” he speaks.

“’m not!”

“Stop it,” he snaps a little, shutting his eyes to compose himself again. “I’m not gonna pressure you to talk to me. If you’re hellbent on covering for him that’s on you. Take the day off, I’ll keep out of his way. But please, please baby, talk to me and tell the truth when you’re ready.” he tells you.

It broke your heart a little when he rolled away from you. In the nine months you’ve been together, he’s never forgotten to kiss you goodnight. He wasn’t forgetting to do it now. He wasn’t kissing you on purpose.

He really is mad at you.

“… Yuuji, I love you.”

“I love you.”

It still stung how your night ended with Yuuji. It was killing you knowing that you really had upset him and made him so cross with you.

You wake up at 6am, your jagged sleep from your ill-timed nap made you groggy and exhausted. When your eyes open, you turn to see Yuuji with his arm wrapped around your waist. Like he couldn’t resist you.

You free yourself from his hold, leaving the bedroom and heading for the kitchen to get yourself some breakfast. You didn’t have the energy to find something to watch while you scarf down your cereal, so you turn on the first morning breakfast show you came across. You don’t care about a single thing they're talking about; it's like white noise while you crunch away.

You wash your bowl when you finished, instantly finding a new sketchbook in the cupboard you bought for your next project. You’d have to remember to buy another new one for next semester. You're exhausted, completely drained and miserable. Anything you produce will probably pale in comparison to your original book, but there's no time to waste and you need a head start on your absent day.

Yuuji got up two hours later. Lazily wandering around as he dresses himself and gathers everything he needs for his class. He says a quick goodbye before grabbing onto the door handle to leave.

“Don’t I get a kiss?” you ask. You feel absolutely pathetic. You never thought you’d be the type of girl to be so needy and crave validation from your partner. But he’s never been like this with you before. He’s always been so affectionate and loving with you, so this new side of him made you insecure and uncomfortable.

But ever the perfect boyfriend, he approaches you to give you the kiss you so desperately desire. It's quick with not much passion behind it. He gives you a half-hearted smile before getting up to leave again.

“I love you.” you tell him.

He halts his actions when he hears your voice break. Tears threatening to break free from your eyes yet again. He comes back closer to you, giving you a romantic, passionate kiss against your yearning lips. Yuuji pulls away to kiss your forehead, before looking intently into your sodden eyes.

“Baby. I love you. So. Much.” he insists, it's all he needs to say to reassure you. Your heart pounds as the tears break free from your eyes. It's a relief. He waves goodbye before he finally leaves.

You have the whole entire day to yourself. And you're spending every single hour from now until bedtime painting and getting your sketchbook up to scratch. And now that Yuuji isn’t mad (or at least as mad) at you anymore, you feel confident you can do this.

When 2pm comes around, you feel ravenous. The hunger pangs you’ve been furiously trying to ignore are becoming unbearable. You ordered takeout so that you wouldn’t have to waste time cooking that you could be spending painting. You were working up to the very last minute until the doorbell rang. You hold your paintbrush between your teeth as you answer, warranting a very awkward look from the delivery boy. You kick the door closed with the back of your foot, instantly diving into the pizza box to satiate your starvation.

You moan loudly as soon as the dough and cheese combination hit your tongue, the taste makes you consider whether you prefer the flavour of the food or sex with your boyfriend.

It's a consideration you’d be keeping to yourself.

– ping –

You just about die when the notification comes through on your phone. It's only a text from Yuuji. You open it quickly, it's a link to a Facebook event. It was bright and colourful, quite contrasting to the club it was associated with.

PAINT PARTY @ INDEPENDENT

­You scroll down to see that Yuuji has added both of your names to the guest list.

YUUJI: I know ur busy with ur coursework, but maybe? It’s tonight only. x

You don’t reply instantly. It’s been a while since you’ve been to Independent, or Indie as it’s more commonly known amongst students. It’s your favourite club. It’s a little dingy but it’s huge and the drinks are cheap. It’s favoured amongst students since the first and second floors have different vibes. The main room downstairs plays old school R&B and hip-hop, whereas upstairs has a smaller room that plays indie music. They have a special blue and pink drink you can’t get anywhere else. You know a girl who has the signature drink tattooed on her body, so she gets free entry for life. Your phone pings again when you take a little while to reply.

YUUJI: We don’t have to go. But it’s been a while since we went, and we always have fun! x

YOU: No ur right. Lets go!! xx🥰

It’s embarrassing to be honest, how quickly your determined resolve crumbles. You internally mock yourself as you get ready for the paint party.

'I’m gonna work all day until bedtime.' Pfft.

You decide to slick your hair back, it’s glamourous and easy which is best since it’ll likely be covered in paint before the nights out.

You hear the door slam and Yuuji instantly rushes towards the bathroom. He slams the door after himself, but rushes instantly back out to come and greet you.

“Hi,” he kisses your cheek, panting from being so energetic around the house. “this came for you, looks like it’s from your parents.” he tells you, dropping a letter in front of you before rushing back to the bathroom.

Your vision drops to the letter in front of you. It’s got your mother’s dainty elegant handwriting on the front and your stomach churns as you flip to see a gorgeous pink wax seal with your family crest on the front.

Not today. This is a problem for tomorrow me.

Once you’ve finished with your hair, you apply a quick helping of gloss and other finishing touches to your makeup. You opt to don a pair of old jeans and a plain white t-shirt. You’re not willing to sacrifice your gorgeous wardrobe for the sake of a paint party. Part of you worries that you’ll look out of place and like you haven’t made an effort, but you’re sure everyone else attending will likely have had the same idea.

Yuuji steps out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist and abs glistening from the water trickling down his body. Your heart is pounding. He looks good enough to eat and he smirks when he clocks that you’re ogling him. You get out of your dressing table seat and approach him. He’s wise to you though, because as soon as you reach to unravel his towel, he grabs your wrist and tuts.

“I just showered princess.”

“But—”

“You’re so cute when you’re needy. Are you wet? Look at ya, squirming around like that f’me.” he continues to tease, pushing you backwards so you fall backwards onto the bed with him on top of you. Both of your hands are pinned above your head with one of his. Your chest is heaving. You need him. And you need him now.

You start to grind on his thigh slowly, trying to ease the tension building between your thighs. A cheeky grin finds it’s way on his face as he’s amused by how desperate you’re acting, your cunt longing to feel him inside of you. He starts to move his thigh to help you, but stops as soon as he starts, knowing that you shouldn’t

“Please, Yuuji please. Just a quickie, I’ll do the work.” you beg pitifully, bucking your hips quicker so you gain some more friction against your core.

“No baby. Maybe when we get home,” he said with a wicked smile on his face, “we always have great drunk sex, don’t we?”

There’s a line outside of the club as you step out of the cab. But that is the line for people who came to the club without putting their names on the Facebook guest list. Yuuji takes your hand as he guides you up to the stamp lady sitting in the booth, telling her both of your names. He’s such a gentleman, he even pays the fee for the pair of you to get in. She instantly finds you both and stamps your hands so you can go inside. Your eyes glimmer as both yours and Yuji’s white t-shirts illuminate under the UV lights once you get inside.

He noticed you were feeling a little insecure over your outfit choice, so he copied you.

White t-shirt and jeans.

You needn’t have worried though, your suspicions were correct. Everyone else in the club seems to have a similar idea to dress simpler rather than going all out. Some people were dressed more scantily than others, but it was all in good fun.

There are members of staff on the balconies above your head. They have enormous plastic guns in their hands that they're shooting down into the crowd. The bright colours make instant contact with you and your boyfriend, and he turns to face you when he hears you squeal and laugh over the pounding bass.

“Let’s get a drink.” he shouts in your ear so that you could hear him. You nod as you let him lead you through the crowd and to the bar.

The bar area is a lot more deserted. There are a few groups sitting in booths and others on bar stools waiting for their drinks. You order the pink and blue special, while Yuuji opted to get himself a bottle of beer.

You’re sure he’ll be switching to pints later as the night goes on.

You notice an odd-looking boy with black hair approach your partner. He taps him on the shoulder, but Yuuji doesn’t notice. You tap him instead, and when he faces you, you nod in the direction of the boy.

“Junpei!” your boyfriend exclaims as he engulfs his friend in a hug. They exchange pleasantries and Yuuji introduces you to his friend. “I didn’t think this was your thing Junpei, nice to see ya.” he smiles happily.

“I got invited and saw your name on the guest list and thought why not! It’s been a while.” he explains.

You’re told that they were friends in high school, but Junpei went to a different university to study psychology. You stand up to leave, telling Yuuji you need the bathroom.

“I’ll come with you.” he says as he stands up to follow you, but you stop him.

“I’ll be fine Yuuji! Junpei, keep him out of trouble while I’m gone.” you joke, making everyone smile hard enough to form apples in their cheeks.

You wade through the crowds again, getting doused in paint as you do. All of the colours and mess are so pretty, the people in the crowd look amazing and it’s making you so giddy to be part of such an electric atmosphere.

When you reach the top of the stairs, your heart stops as you see a familiar head of uncontrollable black hair outside of the toilets. You’re instantly regretting not telling Yuuji to accompany you.

It’s Fushiguro.

He’s got a girl pinned against the wall, his face is covering hers, but you can hear her moaning. You realise outside of his pretty exterior he has no class or manners, which you probably should have known sooner. But seeing him publicly finger a girl outside of some club toilets is the icing on the cake.

She’s insatiable, her fingers don’t know where to settle. You see them travel through his hair, on his arm, his waist. She’s got to be faking it. She’s being impossibly loud and irritating. You attempt to back away slowly, before he can notice you. But the fraction of a second he decides to observe his surroundings, he sees you. He whispers something in the girls ear before she rushes away down the other side of the corridor. He sticks his two fingers in his mouth and sensually sucks the strangers juices as he approaches you. You try to turn and run but he’s faster than you. Grabbing your wrist with his free hand and slamming you against the wall.

He hikes up your leg to rest on his hip, and he’s grinding into you with his face burrowed into your neck. Your voice has been stolen from you and you’re frozen once again. You know he’s not trying to seduce you or fuck you. He’s putting on a show for everyone standing close by. Because while people will think you’re a ravenous young couple dry humping in public, while people will think he’s kissing your neck, he’s whispering obscenities in your ear.

“I missed you in class today.” he begins, his left hand travelling to settle on your raised hip. “That was a clever fucking present you left in my sketchbook sweetheart.” he grimaces, clearly losing his cool as he relives the discovery of his ruined art.

“I’m sorr—”

“Shut. Up.” he spits, silencing you completely. “I had you down for a pussy. I didn’t think you’d fight back, and it was only fair after all. An eye for an eye.” he tells you a little more calmly. You’re still terrified. He smiles menacingly when he can feel you trembling under his grip.

“Please let go.” you whimper.

He rests his forehead against yours, his eyes are filled with malice. They’re bloodshot and furious. His smile bares almost every single tooth in his mouth as each corner stretches as close to his ears as possible. He moves both of his hands, wrapping each of them around your neck. And squeezes tight.

“I don’t like playing fair. You cunt. Did you really think I was going to let you get away with that?” he snaps. You were clawing at his hands, but it did no good. Tears began to stream down your face from the lack of oxygen, desperately trying to take some in.

“I can’t- breathe, Meg- umi- can’t,” you struggle, hoping he’d take pity on you. His jaw bubbles slightly as he held eye contact with you, and let you go with a flourish.

You fell to the ground, taking in screeching inhales as you held your tremoring fingers around your swollen throat. Without looking you could already feel the black and blue blemishes discolouring your sensitive neck. He looms over your defenceless frame as you try to recover.

He isn’t smiling.

He isn’t angry.

If not for what he just did, he’d just be Megumi the moody new boy. It was alarming to you how quickly he could turn it on and off. He turns his back to you and heads down the opposite end of the corridor. You take your opportunity to scurry to your feet and rush back to your boyfriend.

The time was creeping up to 2:30am. You managed to calm down before you joined with Yuuji and Junpei so he didn’t suspect a thing.

It's calmer with him, you know you're safe with his arm wrapped around your shoulder as he converses with Junpei and his friends. Your group alternates between going to the dancefloor and getting covered in paint and hanging out in the bar area and enjoying your drinks. Whenever you need the bathroom after your encounter with Megumi you ask Yuuji to escort you. He was a little drunk, but not too out of it to look after you.

Your sides were splitting from laughter while hanging out with Yuuji and his friends all evening. Their humour and the combination of flowing alcohol is almost enough to take your mind off being attacked.

It felt good to forget.

So, you keep drinking more… and more… and more…

“I never thought we’d see the day miss perfect gets drunk.” a friendly feminine voice speaks from the bar stool behind you.

When you turn to face the source, it’s two of your classmates. In particular, the Megumi fan club. You’ve never seen them in a club setting before, it was understandable that they didn’t think you had this side to you. It's almost embarrassing trying to formulate a response for them, you're hiccupping and slurring your words like a fool. But they're bubbly and joyous and make you feel good, you feel welcome in their little group.

You're surprised however since they seemed furious that you dared to befriend their dear Megumi.

“My friend just texted me from the dancefloor, did you know Gojo is here?” you hear Junpei speak from the other side of you. Itadori yells loudly in excitement as you turn to face them. “Shall we go see him?” Junpei follows up.

“Nah,” he tells the group as he squeezes you tighter. “I’ll see him if he comes to get a drink.”

“Y-Yuuji,” you hiccup, “don’t stay because of me, go and see your friend!” you command, not wanting to spoil his evening.

“I’m not leaving you.” he speaks plainly.

“We’ll look after her.” your classmates speak.

You both turn your attention to the girls who were grinning from ear to ear. You smile back at the offer, their smiles feel sincere and you feel safe to stick with them all night while your boyfriend reunites with his friend. But you turn your body back to look at him to gauge his reaction. He’s so loving and protective, you aren’t sure he’s be willing to risk leaving you while you're drunk with two people he doesn’t know.

“Are they friends of yours?” Yuuji asks. You nod quickly.

“They’re in my class.” you almost bark at him in your intoxicated state. He gives them a look. He’s assessing them carefully; you can see the cogs whirring in his mind as he’s debating whether he trusts them enough to leave you in their care.

“Okay,” he speaks before kissing you on the forehead. He looks deeply into your eyes, almost begging you to pay attention and pleading that you’ll process what he’s telling you. “I’ll only be in the room next door. Come and find me if you need me.” he says, a serious look etched on his features.

“I- duh, I will.” You respond almost mockingly. He knows you don’t mean it, you’ve had one too many pink and blue pints.

“Please take care of her. I won’t be long.” he tells them.

You wave goodbye, but you don’t even get the chance to watch him leave as your friends spin your stool around to face the bar. ‘Shots!’ They both scream, ordering a round. They also order you another pink and blue pint to accompany the one you hadn’t finished. You're all laughing and joking. It's nice to bond with more people on your art course, you usually just keep to yourself and do your work, but you're always friendly and approachable whenever anyone speaks to you.

The girls ask you so many questions, taking a genuine interest in you. It's hard to answer in your drunken state of mind, but you do your best. You all connect over stories of your lives. Things like ex-boyfriends and vacation stories, all of which made you laugh and smile. The drinks keep flowing and there's no sign of your boyfriend returning. You're worried he’d panic if you left your spot, but when you all agree that you need a bathroom trip you couldn’t resist.

When you all stand up from the stools, the girls stand on either side of you and take one of your hands. It's so sweet, so you won’t lose each other in the crowd as you try to find your way.

You feel so dizzy, so sick and uncomfortable, you aren’t even sure how you're standing up.

Thankfully your new friends manage to pull you up the stairs and to the girls bathroom. When you enter, the three of you make a beeline for the famed ‘twin toilets’ the girls toilets were known for. It's a cubicle that's double the size of the others, so there's room for a plus one or a plus two for a toilet trip. The blonde girl sat down first, but she was just sitting on the lid. She didn’t pull her panties down to pee, it was like she was just taking a load off her feet.

“How long does it take to work?” the redhead asks her friend while she lords above her.

You lost your balance and fell on your backside. Both of your legs were stretched out in front of you while your back rests on the cubicle wall. Your head slouches forward and you can’t keep your eyes open while you try to focus on not puking.

“Please… please guys I need to—”

You were interrupted with the feeling of warmth travelling through your jeans. You were unable to feel embarrassed as you knew what was happening. But your mind is so completely and utterly fucked you couldn’t bring yourself to care enough.

“Oh my god, it’s working. Did you just piss yourself? Ew…” the blonde asks and giggles, her friend joining in.

You're about to speak, to defend yourself. It was their fault for not letting you go first. But while you try to find the words, vomit escapes you instead. It covered your chin and white t-shirt. You're a pathetic drunken mess covered in paint, pee and sick. The girls were in hysterics at your misfortune.

“Fucking gross. That’s so nasty,” the redhead exclaims, still cackling. “That pill Megumi told us to slip in her drink was really strong, huh.” she muses to her partner in crime as they look down at you.

You lose all ability to be coherent or focused. So, with the final blow of that earth shattering sentence, your eyes close and you fell backwards onto the sticky club toilet floor.

You don’t remember anything after that. You don’t remember the girls cutting open your t-shirt and writing bitch on your chest in blood-red lipstick. You don’t remember them leaving you and shutting the door carefully behind them so no one would notice you. You don’t remember the kind woman who did notice you, helping you up. You don’t remember that same woman and her other friend carrying you through the club while you repeatedly babbled musings of

'Yuuji… Yuuji… Yuuji…'

You don’t remember finally finding him, and him crying out in heartbreak as he saw your miserable beaten frame in the arms of those women. You don’t remember him taking you home in Gojo’s car, the designated driver of his own group he was out partying with.

You don’t remember sleeping for 45 hours straight.

© 2021 fuwushiguro | © 2023 rinhaler

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Low-effort headcanon that no one asked for.

But laughter is the best medicine and I need lots of laughter right now.

So here's the boys as comedic tropes.

Stand-Up Swashbucklers

OPLA! Sanji, Zoro, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy

SFW

Stupid af, sorry in advance

Sanji

Corny Pick-Up Lines

"Just blinded by your beauty."

"Love, I hope you have a license for those eyes, because I've never encountered a deadlier weapon."

"I've been dabbling in interior design lately, and I think you'd make a fine addition to my bedroom."

"I haven't been a pirate for long, but I'm certain you have to be the greatest treasure in all the seas."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by a few more times?"

Zoro

Dry One-Liners

"Don't like what you see, look away."

"Did you take lessons on being an asshole or is it a natural talent?"

"If I promise I'll miss you, will you leave me alone?"

"You should write a book. How To Be A Miserable Failure: For Dummies."

"Your ass must be jealous of how much shit comes out of your mouth."

Shanks

Bad Puns and Dad-Jokes

"I could take you...with one arm tied behind my back."

"What's wrong with me? Well, you could say I'm not all there."

*pointing at a keg of ale* "I'd tap that."

"I used to shave every day, but this beard, well, it sort of...grew on me."

"I'd offer you a hand, but I really haven't got one to spare."

Mihawk

The Lord of the Roasts

"Oh, come now Vice Admiral, I don't take orders—even from the likes of you."

"There truly isn't a single thought behind those eyes, is there?"

"Have you ever wondered how different your life would be, had you been born with even one single ounce of common sense?"

"I'd tell you to reconsider that statement, but that would require you to actually think, and I'm not sure you possess such a talent."

"Were idiocy contagious, you could singlehandedly bring about a global pandemic."

Buggy

Chop-Chop Slapstick

"Surprise, shithead!"

"That deserves a round of applause—" *drops both hands into a beer stein, actively clapping*

"Yeah, I'll lend you an ear, just give it back when you're done."

"I'm a little, shall we say, detached from reality."

"I'd give an arm and a leg to see that. In fact, here, take them."

[morinuu]

☀︎｜tamaki x female reader drabble. you're a client and jealous asf. pining for tamaki lol. angst? maybe. mention of nsfw but nothing's reealllyyy happening. also u have ear piercings & you know haruhi's a girl.

your hands trembled a bit as you stared at the butter knife in held between your fingers, stopped mid-action from spreading the jam on your bread any further.

ouran had the tendency to make you feel lonely, rejected. generally... unhappy.

although there was one thing existing within the grand corridors of ouran that shone like the sun, blinding, immediately burning all of those emotions away. a tall boy whose smile seemed contagious, never failing to make your chest feel fuzzy and warm, as if you'd met a saint before entering heaven.

his blond hair almost radiated a halo surrounding his head, one you could never help but stop and admire.

but you knew you wouldn't be entering heaven, not when you couldn't defeat the disgusting, vile jealousy that sat in your throat whenever his hands would pat her head. or when his words would compliment her 'cuteness! purely adorable manners!' and whatever else he found just delightful on her.

so maybe he wasn't actually burning the negative emotions away. perhaps he was replacing them with others, and not with better ones.

it took a while before you realised tamaki suoh had been waving his hand in your face to bring you back to the conversation.

"miss yn?"

you blinked your thoughts away and looked back at the boy in front of you. with a quick cough to clear your throat, you nodded at the boy and finished spreading the jam on your toast.

"sorry, what were you saying?" you asked with a gentle voice, trying to seem unaffected by the thoughts occupying your brain viciously.

you didn't want to think you disliked haruhi, because she wasn't a bad person. nor had she done anything wrong. she wasn't the problem.

tamaki was.

he and his stupid amethyst-like orbs that sparkled in the sun under the cherry blossom trees during that shitty event the host club was partaking in. his long slender fingers that didn't hold a single scratch on them, proving just how little they'd physically struggled. his delicate pale neck that would be painted a bright pink whenever haruhi did anything.

he was the damn problem.

because you wished his eyes would stare down at you lovingly instead, while his pretty fingers swiped up your folds and played with your clit, his neck and ears flushed because he was rutting his hips on you, panting because of you.

haruhi wasn't to blame if tamaki refused to smear your lipbalm by kissing and licking your mouth in the changing rooms before he had to entertain another client.

so why was she such an irritating sight?

"is everything okay, dear? you haven't finished your tea yet and our date's almost over. that's unusual for you." he frowned slightly and moved a bit closer to you, brushing your hair out of your face to caress your cheek tenderly, as though you were to break.

you always would take the opportunity and lean into his palm, closing your eyes a bit to pretend that any of it was real. he made it seem real every time. and every time you fooled yourself without failure.

'he remembered my tea order!' last week.

'he noticed my haircut!' the month before.

and all those other small, teeny tiny specks of attention he paid to you - they all contributed to your delusions.

"everything's fine, tamaki. i'm just a bit tired. thank you for asking." you assured him and thrived in the feeling of his warm hand on your cheek for however many seconds he'd keep it there before inevitably having to stop.

you wished you could lean just a bit more to the left and peck and bite his fingers as softly as you could.

"if anything is on your mind, remember you can always share it with me, darling. you know i care for you." his hand moved up to caress your ear, the pad of his fingertips tenderly playing with all sorts of different jewellery you'd inserted throughout the surface, before it moved down to your jaw and finally completely separated from your face to rest back on his lap.

oh how you hated (or, tried to at least) his gentle stare and angelic voice that spewed lies in your face shamelessly for money.

that same stupid voice that suddenly got honest and passionate only for the first-year girl disguised as a petit boy.

'liar.'

you shook your head and gave a polite smile, repeating to him that "everything's fine" because you'd rather have the earth swallow you whole than admit your stomach was twisting and turning with raw, sinful envy.

tamaki opened his mouth to say something else, but just before his melodic voice could escape his throat, a yellow dress worn by his next client came into view. 'oh, right. end of appointment.'

"until next time, dear." he chuckled a bit before kissing the back of your hand as farewell.

he might've been called a prince in his club, but your type was always 'the dickheads' as your mum called them. in an ironic way, it made complete sense.

you stared at him walking away while trying to finish your aforementioned tea but to no avail. it was too bitter on your tongue, despite it being your favourite drink of choice, and you couldn't help but feel guilty. because you knew the reason you couldn't stomach it anymore wasn't because it'd gotten cold.

but because just before he went to sit with his next client, he went to check on haruhi.

because he would never turn to look at you the same way - or at all really.

it felt like he belonged to her, with her, and your pathetic attempts at getting closer to him were just an example of you being impudent.

you knew tamaki would never be yours.

and you didn't hate haruhi, but you really fucking wished she would disappear.

[the-xolotl]

What I think your Hazbin Hotel fav says about you

Pt. I ; Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, Lucifer, Angel

A/N: these are entirely my opinions based on what each of the characters have meant for me. i’m a psych major and like doing lil analysis of things so it’s for funsis nothing else XD and i’m writing these with adult personalities in mind ! just fyi

it’s kinda long, fair warning, lots of text.

—• TAGS: none, completely sfw

ᯓ፥Charlie ꪆ

Starting off with the MC herself; I can see her being a fav bc you are the sunshine coded individual that likes to do things diplomatically first, handles situations with words first and foremost as well as enthusiasm and optimism. You’ll always see the bright side of things and like to see the good in people.

So probably relate a lot to her.

You have a tendency to put others way above yourself and your own needs, most of the time unconsciously so.

Maybe you’re the mom-friend of the group. You’re the most caring and giving out of your surrounding friends or family.

Which kinda makes me think you may have a mix of daddy and mommy issues.

However sometimes your kindness is taken for weakness and naivety when that couldn’t be further from the truth. You’re not unaware of the world around you, in fact you’re probably someone who understands a little too good, so you choose to give positivity to the sea of negativity.

You’re highly emotionally intelligent, mature and likely find yourself always taking the reign in things. You’re a doer, determined to see everything you put your mind to to completion, lots of initiative in many aspects.

A WORKAHOLIC. Completely unaware of that aspect tho. Or just unintentionally so. Bc you are so determine on projects you give 120% and don’t stop until it’s completed.

You probably find comfort in her character in some ways; either bc you see yourself in her or strive to find a person like her who will see your redeeming qualities when you can’t, and want to help you grow as a person.

You aren’t a strict planner or someone who sticks 100% with a plan but do like to have an outline at least. Even if you have to improv further down the line at least you have an idea of wtf you’re doing.

So you can also roll with being spontaneous, you can easily think of a loose path to follow and roll with it whenever.

You’re very enjoyable company !! Smile and laugh is contagious, it’s impossible to not feel good around you.

ᯓ፥Vaggie ꪆ

You struggle a lot with imposter’s syndrome so let me be the one to tell you; you deserve good things, you belong in good places and with the people you love and love you back.

You’re likely the person everyone turns to for a voice of reason.

You’re very headstrong, you’re the decision maker in whatever circle you run.

Ms./Mr./Mx. Hyper-Independent™️

You’re likely also the mediator. Are you the middle child in your family?

You’re a perfectionist to a fault, and fear failure. Sometimes you need a little reassurance.

However, you’re an exceptional lover. You’re loyal, attentive, your love language might be acts of service and/or words of affirmation.

You greatly value those around you and just want to help them be successful.

Sometimes you’re too strict with yourself, even with others but you mean well.

Despite anything though, you have a pretty firm grasp in your sense of self, you know who you are and what you want in life.

You stand up for yourself, you don’t let anyone push you around; you’re the scary dog privileges.

And even if you sometimes come across as hard around the edges, you’re quite soft on the inside. You still choose to act with kindness even if someone doesn’t deserve it. But you’re good at killing with kindness.

You give me Taurus energy. And despite the bullet-point above you have made grown men cry. You’re kind but you are capable of hurting with your words if you so choose.

ᯓ፥Alastor ꪆ

I’ll just get it out of the way: raging daddy issues

But the kind of daddy issues that come from resentment and anger at a fatherly figure or men that remind you of that fatherly figure.

You neither want fatherly comfort nor find someone that is a good fatherly figure. You don’t need it, you’ve been this long without it so what’s the point ?

Maybe you’re likely even the type of person who comforts others but don’t want/let others comfort you. You don’t need others, others need you.

You value your privacy, very reserved about your personal life. Keeping everything close to the vest do to the load of trust issues you carry.

Definitely into older partners (more specifically older men)

Unless you don’t do dating or physical relationships. In this case you maybe find yourself being the older friend of a group of friends.

You don’t have a parental bone in your body but you have this innate need to make sure others never feel the way you did; alone, helpless. This whether you admit it or not.

Much like our resident Radio Demon you have an appreciation for the entertainment and may take some sadistic pleasure in watching the people you don’t care for fail (especially those who have wrong you in the past).

But if not giving a fuck was an olympic sport you’d be a gold medalist. You are winning the 'idgaf war' every time, bc you don’t need to retaliate immediately when someone does do you wrong either, remaining unbothered knowing that person will do themselves in.

You like to play the long game in some situations, waiting for the right time to make a move.

You don’t have time for bullshit, time costs and yours comes at a high rate. You rather get to the point than run circles. And the biggest pet-peeve is getting lead on in any way just to ultimately waste your time and get nothing out of it.

In most circumstances you don’t do anything without receiving a benefit from it unless it’s the people you truly care about. Everything has a price, a lot of things you do are for self fulfillment (Not in a negative way. You value yourself and know your worth)

You’re also a go-getter. Not waiting around for opportunities to just fall on your lap you go and make your own opportunities and open your own doors.

However one of your biggest flaws is overestimating yourself which ultimately leads you to feel like you failed at something when really you didn’t, you didn’t reach the intended goal even if the outcome was fine. Pride comes before the fall, for sure (And you’re trying to work on it. Kinda).

But you do have an issue with feeling like you’re absolutely invincible no matter what.

You have your own skeletons in the closet. Things you don’t like looking back on, decisions you regret to this day bc they shaped more of your life than you intended. But here you are persevering in one piece. If maybe a little jaded to the world around you, but in one piece. Good job.

ᯓ፥Lucifer ꪆ

You and Alastor fans are two sides of the same coin but with marked differences.

Daddy issues here too, but the ones who actually want a good fatherly figure. One you often find from a mentor or someone to give you affection and/or guidance.

You’re less likely to seek these out in romantic relationships as really what you want is to heal your inner child.

You heard More Than Anything, cried bc it’s a beautiful song than cried harder wondering why couldn’t someone love you like that.

More than anything (ba-dum-tsss) you crave to be protected, you can do it yourself, you have been. But you’re tired. You want someone else to do it for a changed, see you for who you are and love you unconditionally.

I have the feeling you’re the oldest child of a broken home that had to be a 3rd parent at a young age to your even younger siblings and it hurt like a bitch having to leave them once you were able to get out of your parent’s house. But you couldn’t stay there a second longer.

It’s also likely in your upbringing you were seen as the black sheep of the family, whatever the reason may have been. That’s something that still hurts to this day even through the no-contact you’ve likely established.

You have a lot of love to give but often don’t know how to express it or measure it. In the sense that you love too hard or too little, but you care so much. You really do.

And this is why you probably have a lot of people coming to your for a shoulder to cry on, because what you will do is protect the ones you care about the way you wish someone did you in your worse times. This is where your over abundance of love comes the most handy.

BUT behind all of this there’s also a high spirit that can be the life of any party. You have a unique magnetism and easy going personality despite anything that makes people gravitate towards you.

ᯓ፥Angel ꪆ

You have likely been through some awful shit (I’m sorry you had to go through that, me too 🫂) and that has shaped you a lot as a person today.

Probably came out of those experiences a hyper sexual that has to constantly advocate for those of us who don’t cope the same ways others do.

Angel is like a breath of fresh air because for once you get to see a representative whose bad experiences aren’t romanticized or glamorized.

The level at which you relate to him when he yelled “It’s not an act! It’s who I need to be!” was spiritual and it left you a little broken bc you likely use your persona as a shield bc if you don’t laugh you’ll cry

You don’t like letting your past define you but the line between who you are and who’s the persona built for the public keeps thinning more and more.

The trust issues you carry are so deep sometimes you accidentally push people you care about and who care about you away.

Because you do care, so much but it’s hard to let people in not knowing who’s truly going to treat you well.

Sometimes the only was you let in are the ones who go above and beyond to climb the tall thick walls you’ve put around yourself.

But life has made you strong, resilient. You know how to defend yourself and you take no shit from anyone.

You either want Angel’s rambunctious confidence or you have it and know how to work it. (work it 💅)

Don’t forget you’re more than what you can offer people. There’s genuine value in you as the person you are, not for what you can offer.

a/n: thank you for reading. i’ll probably take a while to upload the next parts tbh !

—

© 2024 the-xolotl — all rights reserved. do NOT alter, translate, or repost my works on any platform without my consent, do not claim my content as yours.

[sirgawin]

Jack Lowden as River Cartwright in Slow Horses 1.01, Failure's Contagious

[wingedjellyfishflight]

Compromised

Pain. That's all you know. You've never felt pain like this before. All encompassing and unending pain. A bullet to your shoulder has you hunching in on yourself against a wall, trying to refocus. You hear a crackled voice across the coms.

"Compromised." Fuck, now you can't even call out for help from the medic. Another pain shoots through you, somehow your nerves screaming worse than before. Another bullet ripped into your lower leg. You throw yourself backward, maneuvering your body into an alcove and point your rifle at the narrow entryway, still moving. The shooter pops around the corner, and you get a lucky shot, killing him instantly.

With the immediate danger over, you curl up, sobbing. You can't help yourself. You call across the coms requesting a medic. The silence followed by a single solitary "no" from him tells you that you are on your own. You manage to find your tourniquet and a wound pack in your chest armor pocket. Yanking off the vest and gear other gear, you pour the chemical from the wound pack into your shoulder and apply the tourniquet to your leg. Scribbling the time on it, you barely manage to get your rifle in hand when you hear footsteps nearby.

You reach for your vest, trying to slip it on without looking away from the entrance to the alcove. When you glance down to fit a strap, he is on you before you can do more than flinch. Your rifle is ripped away, and you are pinned under the largest man you have ever seen, on or off the battlefield. König. The one everyone was warned about. His hands quickly disarm you and put you in flex cuffs. He tosses you over his shoulder like you weigh nothing. The quick change in position has you blacking out from both the pain and blood loss.

When you come to, you are in an infirmary, König at your side. He demands your name and rank, then turns to the doctor, telling them to hurry with patching you up. You're happy to be alive but scared shitless to be taken hostage by the other side.

"Yes, Colonel. She will be ready for interrogation after surgery. It shouldn't take more than a few hours."

"Nein, not interrogation. Hostage. We will ransom her back to her side. See how much they are willing to pay for her." His eyes lock onto yours, and you silently gasp at their intensity, averting them quickly. The doctor quickly prepares you for surgery, not saying a word beyond direct instructions to you.

Waking from surgery, you find you are handcuffed to the bed. The Colonel sits across the room, seemingly waiting for you to wake. "Do you know how much you are worth to your team?" You shake your head, mouth too dry to speak. "Nothing. They refuse to pay any amount, not even for your body to be returned." He watches you, waiting to see your reaction. You shrug, wincing at the pain that shoots up from your shoulder and ducking your face to hide the tears that well up. You knew that would be the likely response, but it still hurts to hear it said so plainly. Standing, he moves to your side. "Seems they think you are easy to replace." He offers you a drink of water. "I disagree." You nearly choke on the water in surprise, greedily drinking it down. Your eyes dart up to his, but he is focused on the way your lips are wrapped around the straw.

Pulling back, you say, "You don't know anything about me. I crumpled when I should have stood tall. Called across the coms when I should have borne the pain in silence. I failed the team and the mission. Couldn't even shoot you." He chuckles and sets down the water.

"You'd have to improve a lot to get a shot on me. I am going to train you to be that good, but for that, you... you will swear loyalty to me. Join me, and I would return such a loyalty tenfold. You would never be left to die alone. Never be told that you are worthless. Never be left to feel a failure. Never abandoned." His eyes are wild under the mask. His fervor contagious. You find yourself actually considering his offer despite your previous loyalty to your team.

"I- may I have time to consider such an offer? It is a lot to consider, especially being loyal to such an organization." You stare down at your hands, startling when fingers grip your chin, turning you to look at him.

"You will be loyal to me, König, not an organization. I will see you serve no other. You would travel with me as I work and learn under me." You can't help but take notice of the way he leers at you as he speaks. "You may have an hour to consider the offer. After that, I can no longer guarantee your safety as a hostage who can not be ransomed."

"Understood, sir." The honorific feels correct, and the way König's eyes soften makes you feel he is happy to hear it. The way your brain reacts is confusing. Dopamine cascading at his approval, but fear and horror at the position you are now in. He moves to sit again across the room, not leaving as you expected he would. "Sir?" His eyes flick up. "If I don't take the offer, I'm dead, aren't I?"

"Affirmative." His eyes don't leave yours as you consider his answer.

"Then, my only true choice is to say yes. I'm not ready to die, sir."

"Good choice, Herz. Good choice." He stands again, readying to leave. "Your training starts now. You will not waste your time waiting to heal." He pulls a book from his pocket and tosses it at you. It thwaps you in the chest, making you wince in pain. He pauses, clearly not having intended thus. You shake your wrist, clanging the handcuffs against the bar. He curses, clearly having forgotten the safety measure that medical insisted on. Taking them off, he leans over you. "Swear yourself to me now, Herz."

"I am yours, König. Completely and totally yours. I will follow your will as though it were my own. I will work to make you proud of me, sir." You bow your head to him, hoping that it is enough and that you can live up to such a promise. He grunts approvingly.

"I swear my loyalty to you, Herz. I will put you first, never leaving you to suffer or fall behind. You will serve me as I will serve you." He rubs your arm gently with his calloused hand. "Now, read, and I will arrange for your discharge."

"Yes, mein König."

It is two years later that he is called to fight alongside the team that abandoned you to die. They don't recognize you beneath the hood that König robed you in within days of swearing yourself to him. Your husband hides your face, just as he hides his own. They know you only as Herz, wife to the worst man they have ever known of. They treat you with disrespect at every turn in any way they can get away with.

As you board the plane to head home, he bids you to remove the mask, demanding a kiss in front of the team waving farewell sarcastically. The look of shock and horror on your former teammates is one you savor many years later. Your matching answering grins haunt them for the rest of their lives.

[emziess]

Jack Lowden as River Cartwright Slow Horses – S01E01 – Failure’s Contagious

[margotrobie]

OLIVIA COOKE AS SID BAKER Slow Horses S01E01 - Failure’s Contagious

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Overcome Imposter Syndrome & Perfectionism

How To Overcome Imposter Syndrome:

Keep Your Ideal Self Top of Mind: While you can't ever truly "fake it until you make it," it is essential to cultivate the belief that can act in accordance with your ideal self. Consider what the ideal version of yourself would do on a daily basis: What would your morning routine/night routine look like? How would you prioritize tasks or activities throughout your day? What would you consider your metrics for a successful project, task, social interaction, or professional activity? How would you describe a productive day, week, or month? Qualify and quantify these ideal metrics to give yourself a blueprint to move forward toward your goals and become the best version of yourself.

Competence Builds Confidence: Remember that the notion of an "overnight success story" is a fallacy. Quickly-awarded achievements, seemingly effortless skill sets, or having the perfect script for every occasion typically stem from hours or years of practice, experiences, studying, self-development, and trial and error. Over time, you refine these crafts until you can consider them as strengths. This inner knowing gives you the self-assurance needed to truly believe in yourself and it's contagious in your work, speech, and body language. Competence radiates inner confidence, without a question.

Remember Everything Is Relative: Logically, we know that comparing the middle of someone's journey to the beginning of yours doesn't make any sense. While it can be intimidating to enter the ring as a beginner, remember that the most skilled and successful people you know were at one point at square one. The only way to catch up to those you admire is to make an effort in the first place. However, because you're a beginner, give yourself some grace and remember that making mistakes is part of the learning process. It is better to fail in the beginning before people have certain expectations of you. But, the truth is, no one truly knows what they're doing. More time existing and life experience only helps us make better judgments to more accurately assess the proper next move.

Perceive Attempts As Data: Success is all about pattern recognition. See what "inputs" derive certain "outputs." Some attempts – at a certain career path, academic concentration, interpersonal interactions – will be advantageous with many that are neutral and some that go sour. Do not allow an unanswered email to a pitch, a lower grade on an assignment, or an ending of any type of relationship to feel like a moral failure and as a marker of your worth (personally, professionally, etc.). Evaluate what you did correctly and seek out areas for improvement. The more attempts you make, the more data you collect in order to help you make accurate assessments going forward. Consider this your motivation to start.

Accept Failures As Life Lessons: Failures offer a unique opportunity for self-reflection and course correction. Consider the mistakes that lead you to a negative outcome or the unfavorable circumstances you entered into (e.g. not studying for a test or already seeing red flags during the job interview). Use these opportunities to refine your strategies to succeed. While failures might not be inherently positive in the short term, failing fast saves you a lot of trouble along the way.

How To Overcome Perfectionism:

Find Stupidly Small Ways To Start: Write the title on a document and some keywords you want to use; Write an introductory sentence to an email; Place the first photo on the collage; Mix the spices together for a dish –literally anything to get you started on the task at hand. Give yourself a small push to gain momentum to keep going.

Set A Timer: Gamify any task by making it a race against the clock. Set a timer for 10, 20, or 30 minutes to see how much you can get done with a short spurt for hyper-focus. Focus on output, not outcomes when using this method. Remember: You can always go back and edit a project or refine the details of a space, meal, or task after. You will probably surprise yourself with how much you get done and how quick it is to elevate the standard of any timed work.

Consider Consequences of Delayed Action: Procrastination is perfectionism's greatest frenemy. The quicker you are to begin a task or strategize how to initiate a conversation, the more likely you will be to make it happen and give yourself the brain space to mull over the ideas before sharing the final product. Shitty first drafts of anything in life are welcomed. You can always edit later before finishing or showcasing something you want to take pride in. A step forward gives you guidance toward the right path. A step backward provides insight into how to strategize to win in the future. The only guaranteed way to never achieve greatness in a certain area of life is to not start in the first place.