#fadel said fuck you

[bentnotbroken1fanfiction]

Y'all, this top Style fic is getting out of hand lol Style started all earnest and now Fadel is domming the fuck out of him and he's just a pile of goo following directions as he fucks his boyfriend just how he's being commanded to.

You were supposed to take him apart and make him cry, Style. Not nearly go into sub drop.

[infizero]

no spoilers still but im telling you all right now. this may be one of the best depictions of shadow's character i've ever seen. I AM DEAD SERIOUS I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.

[to-be-spared]

if i focus too much on the fact that style, too, was just going through the (however unhinged) motions of his life and then kant told him hey can you take this guy out i'm trying to date his brother and style said bet and he's never had a boyfriend so arguably he has no idea what he's doing so he does the only thing he knows how to do which is: be himself.

and he meets this guy, who is rude but considerate and direct and has no time for style's antics except that he really makes time for style's antics and also he is really hot. and style is giddy about how fadel seems to respond to him because he's just being himself and i will die convinced that style has been told to fuck off more than once for being himself but fadel apparently finds that alluring.

and then he finds out he's a trained killer of all things?? but he can be soft and kind and needy and challenging and selfless and style just falls for him. both feet, head dive, who cares, his life has always been a little on the verge of insanity.

and style has never had that so he hangs on by teeth and nails because you don't really know how to pace yourself when you do something for the first time (and he's never been one to half ass anything). and the more he hangs on the more he sees fadel is asking him to hang on while telling him to let go, and style is a contratian by nature so he hangs the fuck on.

and it works. and the more he hangs on the less adrift he is.

style is all bold energy, but you have to anchor him or he'll just be aimless.

and when fadel gives him the pin he's so. privately amazed. it's a tangible sign that someone cares enough to recognize him as his own.

it's taming in the way the little prince put it. and it goes both ways. and it doesn't matter if it's at 4 pm or in 5 years (or in 3 weeks when kant and style will infiltrate the prison). style will be waiting for fadel.

as i said. if i focus too much on this. i'll have to be taken away for 5 years.

[trashcakery]

fadelstyle headcanons bc why tf not

Style has already apologized (wholeheartedly and with tears) for ambushing Fadel’s support group sessions.

Every Saturday, they make breakfast together, trying new recipes, flavors, etc. They also almost always fuck it all up because Style is too distracting in an apron.

Style listens to heavy metal now.

Fadel often naps with his head on Style’s lap, and Style plays with his hair while he sleeps.

Fadel and Style’s dad watch 70s/80s shows together, leaving Style completely left out. They actually have nearly identical 80s rock CD collections too.

Style asks Fadel about his ex often. His personality, their time together, what Fadel loved about him. He’s even suggested they take flowers and visit his grave together. When you’re ready.

Fadel has yet to win an argument.

Saying no to Style is literally impossible for him. He’ll frown, sulk, look pissed, but never actually say no.

Fadel has bad days, lows that become debilitating. His past crashes down on him, but Style is always there. Gentle. Quiet. Giving him space, but also taking care of him. Helps him in the shower. Brings him food. Takes it away when Fadel refuses to eat. Brings it back. Holds him while he sleeps.

They love shopping together. Fadel loves the way Style glows when he tries on new clothes.

Yes, they’re both freaks. Yes, it excites them to do it in public, grabbing at each other’s necks, indulging in chest play, roleplay, you name it. But their biggest turn-on, especially for Fadel, is actually being domestic. Being soft and vanilla, even. No, because think about it— Style has probably had his fair share of sleeping around, experimenting, partying, going wild. Fadel, on the other hand, has always felt burdened by his body and its needs. His teenage years, his early adulthood, none of it was normal. He never got to experience sweetness. Never got to take his time, to feel wanted, to feel loved. To him, sex was always transactional, until his ex, who 'left' the moment Fadel showed vulnerability. So yeah, they love being wild. But what they love more is being at home—lazy morning sex, showering together, taking it slow, looking into each other’s eyes. It’s actually so sweet and heartbreaking.

After months of nagging, Fadel finally folds and teaches Style how to use a gun.

Style knows how to use a knife very well. (Don’t ask how they found out.)

Fadel practically lives at Style’s house, spends 80% of his time there.

Style’s dad is teaching Fadel how to fix his car. “What do you mean you’re marrying into our family without knowing these basics???”

Fadel whimpers. :)

Style has proudly stolen and cut up at least ten of Fadel’s t-shirts, including a vintage 1970s Led Zeppelin Rules America tee that he spent half his savings on when he was 16.

Style loves taking Fadel’s fingers into his mouth when they have sex, because it drives Fadel insane. :)

One time, while they were just hanging out in Fadel’s room, Style asked, “So when did you start finding me attractive?” Fadel’s face went beet red. Style, being the menace that he is, kept pushing, until Fadel finally blurted: “Yes, I found you attractive the moment I saw you. Yes, I thought about you while I was alone. Yes, of course I fucking did. And yes, it happened here—where else would it happen?” A smirk. “So you liked it when I lay on my stomach for you in the sauna… like this?” Style rolls onto his stomach, looks up at Fadel exactly like he did that day. “Tell me, what did you think about? Did you imagine my face?” “Shut up." “Did you imagine they were my hands or mouth?” “Style.” “Did you call my name?”

They both smell amazing. Fadel wears deep, earthy colognes. Style wears fruity, flowery ones. He also goes crazy for lip balms so Fadel buys him a new one every time he goes to the grocery store.

“Hey, you really need to stop being so trusting.” “He said his cat was dying.” “Style, he was literally trying to steal your wallet.” “But he showed me a photo. :( He had one leg missing.” “…Jesus fucking christ.”

[secriden]

Not to be a Style apologist, but I feel like some viewers haven't quite picked up that Style's brand of wooing Fadel is quite literally intentionally designed (by both the writers and the character) to be as annoying and frustrating as possible.

Lets consider:

Style thinks his bff is in love for the first time in his life. He thinks Kant is genuinely down bad for Bison: let’s not forget his clear surprise when Kant agreed to give up the car. As far as Style is concerned, Kant is acting really out of character and it's because Kant desperately wants to be with Bison.

He also thinks the only thing standing in the way of True Love™ is Fadel, who according to Kant is being unreasonably difficult about Kant and Bison dating. He doesn't know that Kant has a secondary motivation, nor does he know about the mind games that Bison is playing with Kant. Worse, he has no frame of reference or context to make any of Fadel's animosity towards Kant reasonable.

Moreover, while I think we all agree that Style made a terrible first impression on Fadel, the same has to be said of Fadel towards Style. Like, yes, absolutely Style was in the wrong, but Fadel came off as not only condescending and impatient, but unreasonable (and very weirdly cagey) when Style tried to immediately offer a resolution. Again, Style has no frame of reference for why Fadel would first demand that he take responsibility for his actions and then immediately after claim to have no time to entertain Style's attempt to take said responsibility.

Also, it doesn't help Style's wounded pride that Fadel keeps 'besting' him at every turn. So at this point I think a significant portion of that initial attraction (in ep 1) has shifted to annoyance when it comes to Fadel. By the time he gets his hands on Fadel's information, I think he's more than a little invested in some payback. While I think Style very much still wants to help Kant (and Bison) out, at least a part of him figures as long as he keeps Fadel busy, he kind of meets his goal. And if he gets to embarrass, frustrate and otherwise harass Fadel along the way, all the better!

You can see him start to have some fun with it. He ramps it up SO much in ep 2. He gets to lean into that wild, brash, playful personality because he doesn't really care if Fadel likes him. Style gets to be dialled up to extremes, and I love that for him because he's honestly kind of justified because he knows so fucking little about what's really going on. I think it's only fair if the other 3 are playing 4D chess while Style only has the Uno game rules in front of him, he gets to be the most Unhinged about it.

So, yeah, while I absolutely agree with all the posts out there that recognises just how reasonable and polite and tired Fadel is, I do think we need to give Style some credit here. He's absolutely SO extra, but he's also the one, arguably, that has been lied to the most and I feel that he deserves some slack for that.

[londonfogbrained]

the heart killers headcanons:

Fadel is canonically 27, Bison is 24– tmk Keen’s age hasn’t been revealed but Keen is absolutely the middle sibling (I’d say 25/26).

11 year old bison knocking on 14 year old Fadel’s bedroom door face streaked in tears after waking up from another nightmare about his parents’ death. It becomes such a regular thing he doesn’t even have to ask to sleep in Fadel’s room anymore, Fadel just makes sure he’s got extra blankets.

13 year old Bison asking Fadel if he can take him to the nearby Catholic Church on the moped 16 year old Fadel saved up for so he can pray for his parents on the anniversary of their deaths. It’s the last time he steps foot in a church and he can barely make it through his prayers before running out in tears. On the way back, Fadel stopped at a Buddhist temple to light incense for his parents as well. They never spoke of it again, but Bison still has his mom’s favorite rosary and Fadel has his father’s mala beads.

Fadel tried, with Keen. To have what he has with Bison. He remembers a sniffly, quiet, 12 year old Keen with his dorky glasses and slight lisp. He remembers spooning extra meat onto Keen’s plate when he wasn’t looking. Despite Bison always being the smallest, and the most viscerally emotional, Keen was always seen as the weakest, even at that age. But it was after Ruerat’s confession that Fadel realized how Khun Lilly separated them. Deprived them of each other. Subtly turned them against one another. Where he and Bison were praised for their physical capabilities, Keen was always the one behind the scenes— even when Khun Lilly acknowledged his work for the family, there was always an undercurrent of comparison between the 3 brothers.

————————————

Style was 13 when his mom died. She’d been sick for years, pretty much as long as he could remember. Cancer. In and out of remission, until it eventually metastasized and there was nothing the doctors could do. Style tries to visit her grave as often as he can, especially on her birthday. He won’t admit it, especially not to his father, but he’s starting to forget what she sounded like and it terrifies him. His dad still writes “from mom and dad <3” on his birthday presents.

Kant and Babe were almost separated by the state, and that’s why Kant started jacking cars— a local gang known for their connections to the cops said they’d help him forge the papers needed to look like there was an adult who had custody over the two if he helped them. He was 15. Babe was 3. As soon as he turned 18 they forged a death certificate for this fake relative and Kant won legal custody over Babe, but he didn’t stop stealing cars until he was well into his 20s and the gang leader was eventually arrested by Capt. Christ.

Style and Kant met in high school, when they were 16 and 17 respectively. Kant, outside of jacking cars, had managed to get a tattoo apprenticeship at a local parlor and Style would babysit “little nong Babe” during his afterschool shifts at the garage. It got to be such a normal thing that new customers thought Style was either Babe’s much older brother or a very young dad, based on how much Babe would cling to the leg of his jumpsuit. Style may have used Babe as a chick (gender neutral) magnet a handful of times but it never worked.

————————————

Fadel and Style switch, quite regularly actually. It was a learning curve for Fadel, opening himself up like that and learning to trust Style with his body in such an intimate manner. Fadel is not at all open about their sex life because why the fuck would he be, his only friend is his brother and he would rather die than discuss such things with Bison. Style on the other hand has shown up at Kant’s tattoo parlor for the sole purpose of “hey man does this hickey look normal to you” at least 4 times.

Kant confesses that he’s really not all that into kink or bdsm and it does make Bison crash out a little bit (he locks himself in the bathroom and cries for like an hour convinced that he’s a horrible, abusive boyfriend and that Kant thinks he’s a disgusting freak, total domdrop moment) and it takes Kant sitting outside the door and talking to him the entire time before Bison opens the door and they sit on the floor and cry together a bit more. It opens up the door for Kant to say that he does actually like when Bison takes control and he may genuinely want to try such things again but not so intense so quickly (Bison almost starts sobbing again when he remembers the whole “don’t say penguin too soon” comment and it takes another hour of Kant explaining that he’s not upset and they were both in the wrong that time)

On that note both Kant and Bison have literally only ever had vanilla sex before bc 1) Kant has never shown a real interest in kink and 2) Bison has a strict “never engage in kink with a stranger” rule

Fadel is not into kink or bdsm in the capacity Bison but he does think a silly roleplay can be fun outside of the “I can’t pay for my mechanic work” thing and it always makes Style laugh (Style won’t admit it sober but he’s got a thing for Fadel in a suit and glasses a lá ep 10 Ruerat scene and wants to do a professor/student thing)

Style has jokes about engaging in kink but has never actually because he’s never felt safe or comfortable enough with someone to do so; however he absolutely would if Fadel asked and being with Fadel has made him realize some... things about himself

[ae-azile]

Untitled Fadel/Style Fic Preview: Post 1x07

Style meant it when he said he deserved to die at Fadel’s hands. He never wanted any of this to happen. He could have told Fadel that he never personally spoke to the cop and didn't even know about Kant being coerced into becoming an informant or Fadel being a hitman until after they started dating. He could say that he simply agreed to seduce Fadel in exchange for a car.

Somehow, that sounds just as bad. And if he puts all the blame on Kant, that makes him more of a snitch. Style never even wanted to be a snitch.

“I really do love you,” Style says to him, keeping his eyes on the road, “Even when you point your gun at me, my heart flutters in my chest-”

“Shut up,” Fadel says, pressing the gun further into his side.

Style rolls his eyes at the order. As if Fadel would shoot him when he's the one in control of the car.

“I can't be quiet on car rides,” Style says, “It makes them go by too slowly. The music is great, but we already established that we have different tastes. Let's talk-”

“Style-”

“Fadel,” Style counters, “I’m bored. Let's talk.”

“I'm not going to talk to some fucking snitch.”

Style groans at that, “Whatever you tell me will die with me! You’ll make sure of that!”

“No.”

Apparently, Style will just have to deal with Fadel’s decision, so he focuses on the road until sunset. It's only when they are running on fumes that he pulls over.

“Did I say you could stop?” Fadel asks as Style pulls into the parking lot of a fuel station.

“I'm sorry,” Style says, hopping out, “I didn't realize your car runs on psychological, emotional, and sexual tension! You should have told me you were this environmentally friendly.”

“Get back in the car.”

“I'm serious. I'm proud of you,” Style says as he pulls his card out. He is a gentleman, after all. He is going to pay for everything on this impromptu trip, “Regular, right? Some people think they are pampering their car by getting a higher quality than they need. It's truly unnecessary. Please tell me you're not one of those people.”

Fadel says nothing. Maybe he is that kind of person and is just embarrassed. Style won't call his boyfriend out on it.

“I got you,” Style says with a grin, “You just relax!”

“Do not use your card.”

Style lets out a scoff, “I am a gentleman! I want to pay, I mean it-”

“So that your location can be tracked through your purchases?” Fadel asks suspiciously.

Oh. Style truly didn't think of that. This is another reason he loves Fadel. He's smart.

“Well, then how else am I supposed to take care of you?” Style asks, “I mean it, Fadel! I am a mechanic! Masculine and tough. A true man! It’s in my nature to take charge-”

“I have cash,” Fadel says, getting out as well, “Walk into the store. I am right behind you. Don’t think of doing anything stupid to try and get away from me.”

“That would be stupid because that's the last thing I want to do,” Style says, putting a hand on his hip. Despite this being the honest truth, Fadel looks unimpressed and continues to look that way until they pay in cash and go back to the car. Then, Fadel gets back in the passenger seat so that Style can take control as every higher being in existence intended. He presses Regular Unleaded, lifts the nozzle, and inserts it into the jeep. He then flicks the lever so it will automatically fill the tank and walks over and rests his arms on the rolled down window before smiling at Fadel adoringly. Because that's what he truly feels. Adoration and love, even now.

Maybe especially now.

“I really do love you,” Style says gently, “I'm sorry if my initially uninformed involvement in spying on you broke your heart and made you think otherwise. This is why I wanted you to tell me about your real career yourself! I wanted to help you out of whatever life you found yourself in! We could have run away together. Fled the country. I think Japan would have been good. I could work for Toyota there. You think they’d hire me?”

Fadel still says nothing. He's a man of such few words. Then again, Style likes that. If Fadel talked as much as he did, they would be interrupting each other all the time. He wishes Fadel would talk a little more though. Share things with him. Be vulnerable with him. Fadel might need a good cry. Once that thought enters his brain, Style knows it to be true. Maybe that should be his mission, to get Fadel to have a cathartic sob-fest where Style comforts him and tries his absolute best not to crack jokes.

“I think they would hire me,” Style continues, “Pa, too. I would need to bring him with us. He really likes you, you know! He likes you better than any other guy I’ve dated and he has happened to cross paths with. I mean…it's not hard. I’ve dated a couple of assholes. But he recognizes a good person when he sees one. He even told me he approved of you and wanted you around more often. He thinks you're a good influence and that you balance me out.”

In response, Fadel points the gun at Style’s face. Style smiles and kisses the tip of it sweetly. It's only then that Fadel jerks the gun back and looks at Style as if he has lost it.

He has lost it. For Fadel. This hiccup isn't going to get in the way of what he feels. He was afraid when he woke up by the pool, but now he has come to a decision. He's spending this trip with three goals in mind.

1. Find Kant - preferably not dead or seriously injured - and ensure he makes it home safe.

2. Find Bison and talk him down. He's pretty sure Bison is more dangerous than Fadel is. His prettiness and petite stature are both incredibly disarming and work in his favor. Style respects it.

3. Make it clear to Fadel that Style is unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him, like Bella was in love with Edward in Twilight. Their relationship probably isn't even as toxic as theirs. There is no creepy, Italian vampire council or ninety year age gap, although Fadel may currently thirst for his blood. But that doesn't matter. If Bella and Edward can overcome all those things and magically conceive a child, then Style and Fadel can too.

“Why are you just staring at me? Why did you kiss my gun? What is wrong with you?”

Style snaps out of his dreamy thoughts and ambitions as he meets Fadel’s glare.

“I was just thinking of us magically conceiving a baby.”

Fadel’s glare turns into a bewildered, slightly disturbed gawk. He's warming up to him again. Style is sure of it.

[ropebunnykant]

Hi!! What are your thoughts on the confrontations at the empty pool vs the ocean? Obviously the ocean is relevant to kant's past but the juxtaposition of the two is so interesting to me but I can't really figure out if that was just an aesthetic choice or if there's actually something to it.

Looking forward to your thesis about the boat scene!!

omg thank you for asking and i will absolutely be writing an in depth post about the boat scene probably later on cause it was sooo chock full of things and first kanaphan deserves every fucking award possible for that scene

i will say, i think when it comes to analyzing media, there are so few things that are done and chosen "just for aesthetic." i've had other people comment on that when i've talked about the religious imagery, and while yes, aesthetic is important in media and often times can be reason enough for directors and designers to choose them, i would say more often than not there is also meaning behind big choices like set. they put fadel and style in an empty pool for a reason, just as they put kant and bison on the boat for a reason.

now, the boat was likely a very obvious choice for bison because like you said, it's relevant to kant's past and kant told him on their first date that he was scared of the ocean. so, of course tying him up and putting him on a boat surrounded by water to confront him would be the exact sort of psychological torture bison would want to inflict on kant.

but when you compare it to fadel and style, i think it's also a way of representing openness, and in a way it's a representation of each couple.

because fadel confronts style in an empty pool, and he's stripped style almost completely naked. style is laid almost totally bare, and that's true in a literal sense as well as a metaphorical sense, because fadel knows he's a "snitch." and the thing about fadel and style is that while yes, there's been lies and deception there, style has also been very earnest in every way he can be. it was only more recently that he had to start lying for real, and even then he still sneaks in as much truth and openness with fadel as he possibly can. and it's exactly what he does here - even with a gun to his head and fadel telling him not to say he loves him, style still says it because it's true and style doesn't know how to be anything but open and honest with fadel.

and then when it comes to the bison and kant of it all, there's a lot more lies and deception. kant is not laid bare in the same way - bison even has him in essentially a costume by putting him in the patient scrubs. but at the center of it all is the fact that even with all the lies, even with the murky waters, kant has been honest with bison. he's been vulnerable with him. and that's how bison knows putting kant on a boat and telling him to jump overboard is the cruelest thing he could do to him. it's fair game to bison because of what kant did to him, but it also shows that even if bison thinks everything was a lie, there was always some amount of truth to it. because kant never had to give an assassin his biggest fear, but he did it anyways.

i also think the empty pool vs the ocean says a lot about bison and fadel's intentions in the scene, even on a subconscious level. i don't think fadel at any point planned to actually hurt style. maybe he told himself he would, but i think deep down he knew he would never be able to go through with it. so, he puts him in an empty pool where yeah, he can get hurt if he pushes style into it and he hits the floor of the pool, but those injuries likely won't be serious enough to kill him - and he won't drown.

whereas bison, despite likely also knowing he can't actually hurt kant himself, took him somewhere he could make kant do it for him. and even then, it's clear he regrets it as soon as kant hits the water, because he's calling out to him as soon as he jumps off, as if he didn't expect him to actually do it. bison wants to hurt kant but he knows he can't, whereas fadel wants to want to hurt style and knows he can't. and those are two very different things.

[bird-inacage]

The Heart Killers EP6-EP7: "You think I'd go on living if you died?"

I'm sure everyone is still wiping away the snot from their face thanks to Episode 6's brutal ending. I want to talk about how next week's preview shows we're leading into the best invitation for reconciliation as far as Bison and Kant are concerned. Let me explain.

In the wake of Bison being confronted with the awful truth, he will likely assume (in the immediate instance) that everything - every single thing Kant has said and done was a total lie - a strategically crafted fabrication to get him hooked, including Kant's feelings. That Kant never loved him at all, it was all an act. We as an audience know that's not true but Bison doesn't.

With Bison getting shot next episode, this forces Kant to drop his mask in the most revealing way possible. In the face of losing Bison, this becomes the catalyst for Kant turning the tables, and proves twofold:

Kant's panic over Bison possibly dying indicates he genuinely cares about him. His entire demeanour during this incident will be under the eyes of everyone present including Fadel and Style. If there was any doubt about Kant's feelings, there won't be now.

Kant can no longer lie to himself. He can't live without Bison (by his own later admission). Throughout EP6, Kant's been trying to assure Style he will move on once this whole situation has blown over, but Kant's simply telling his best friend what he wished he could convince himself of. He tries to believe that he can give up Bison and be okay, that it will all be worth it if it means protecting Babe. But deep down he knows he won't be. This confirms it.

So firstly, Bison will witness just how much Kant cares about him. It doesn't deny the fact that Kant lied to him, but the truth is Kant has also undoubtedly fallen in love with him. The man sits by Bison's bedside sobbing and inconsolable, and I anticipate Kant may well confess why he did what he did whilst Bison is 'unconscious', who may recall some or all of what he says when he wakes.

Secondly, Kant will decide that he can no longer put Bison in any kind of jeopardy and that means: 'fuck the mission'. He's going to have to turn on Chris, and aid Bison and Fadel to escape the pursuit from the police that he helped them gain progress with. Chris already suspects that Kant has fallen for Bison which makes him a huge liability. Sealed by either by his own active choices to defy the police, or in Chris' eyes, Kant has effectively chosen to put a huge target on his back. By extension Babe is no longer safe either.

In the preview, we also see Bison disappear from the hospital, just as Chris plans to apprehend him. It's likely that the next time they meet, Bison has been in hiding (probably watching Kant from the shadows) before he intervenes to help. It could be that Kant is being hunted down by the cops or Mother. For Bison to do this shows he's already on the road towards forgiveness, having observed Kant and processed what he now knows. It's far more complicated than he first assumed, and he's willing to hear Kant out. They're ready to start the path to reconciliation and face what's to come together.

On a final note, I've been speculating who may be the ones leading the attack at the bowling alley. The obvious guess would be the police. But for some reason, I have a wild feeling it could be Keen. (I remember Pepper being on set when these four were filming for this scene). It's possible for example that Mother finds out it's Kant and Style who are the informants and Keen tries to score some brownie points by taking them out. In the heat of the moment, Bison protects Kant on instinct and gets shot. Now that would make this all the more heart-wrenching wouldn't it?

You can keep tabs on bird-inacage’s BL meta directory for my other long-form posts around The Heart Killers, which I’ll be updating in real time as the show airs.

[hurlumerlu]

As a fellow enthusiast of The Labyrinthine Workings of Kant's Deliciously Fucked-Up Mind, what are your thoughts on him STILL not coming clean about why he's scared of the ocean? Arguably, that could've be the perfect moment to be truthful about it because a) sympathy and b) demonstration of honesty, so I'm interested in his thinking. I'm not at all mad about it, because it gives me faith they want to treat it with the gravity it deserves and that it will be revisited later in a meaningful way, but I'm curious to hear what you think!

Also curious as to whether the invoking of penguin in this ep (I gather ppl had mixed reactions to this but I loved it - thought it was such a beautiful show of trust, and when partnered with Bison's exact words about using it from ep 3 - 'Let me know as soon as it's too much' - it becomes utterly heartbreaking) gives you more or less confidence that they'll also revisit the BDSM?

Oooooh, that is such a good question! I don't think I have a definitive answer for now, as I haven't thought about it very deeply (also I just woke up), but my gut reading of it follows three axis (and sorry. this got long. how did it get so long. why am I so verbose.)

Kant simply doesn't wanna look at it. That's the first thing I landed on and honestly the reason I didn't even wonder why he wasn't talking about it. It's just not his style! Early in the show I said that trying to write Fadel's pov is both interesting and challenging because there are many things he simply can't look at or he'll never stop screaming, and I think this is yet another thing he and Kant have in common. Kant is sociable and very sexually active, so he doesn't register as repressed in the same immediate way Fadel does, but he is! He's been dealt a shit hand in life, and he's known for a while that how he felt about it would never meaningfully change his situation ; so while he can't exactly stop having those feelings, he can (and does, all the time) chose to set them aside. It's very human tbh: no one can stare their grief in the face 24/7 and survive. But yeah, it took Kant waking up disoriented on the deck of a boat to actually look at what happened to him as a kid, and that was an extraordinarily unpleasant moment for him. So if you put him back on solid land? He's just gonna say no thanks! This is why I must say I'm not sure they will actually revisit that trauma in depth, but I personally wouldn't be mad about it. I don't think Kant is at a point in his life where he can do that work, especially since they still have so many things to worry about. However I can totally imagine him casually mentioning it years down the line, and Bison going "I'm sorry, WHAT" and Kant saying "oh we don't have to make a big deal out of it" and Bison being like "yes we do Kant. holy fuck." TLDR: Kant is very much a "if I don't touch my feelings they can't hurt me" kind of person, and that might be what he's doing there.

Kant doesn' want to make this moment (the beach vacation torture session) about his hurt. It's about soothing Bison's pain! It's about aknowledging the damage he caused, showing that he's sincere in his desire to make up for it, and proving to Bison he's worthy of trust! (this isn't not linked to the safeword thing, btw.) And we can be mad about him prioritizing Bison's needs over his own, but "devoted to a fault" is just how Kant rolls, and now that he doesn't have to keep that side of him in check when it comes to Bison (Bison who is, at this instant, very emotionally vulnerable), of course he's going to indulge. He doesn't want Bison to forgive him out of pity and compassion for his past circumstance. Does he even want Bison to forgive him? I mean, yes, obviously, but forgiveness isn't the main goal here at all. getting another chance is. I think he wants Bison to put his broken heart in one side of the scale - with no mitigating factors to lighten that weight - then Kant's sincere devotion and love in the other, and then judge for himself. And I think Kant's is very confident that his love and devotion will outweight the hurt, and that Bison just needs some time to accept that. But in the meantime he's not gonna fish (haha) for sympathy, and I don't think it occurs to him that the plane crash is even something to be honest about (after all he never lied about the plane crash. that would probably require looking at it.) but even if it was I don't think he'd believe that's the honesty Bison needs right now, as it has nothing to do with their relationship. In fact the only time he really mentions something that isn't part of their relationship, it's Babe, and I don't think I need to explain why Babe is the exception. TLDR: Kant said "this isn't about me, this is about my boyfriend's hurt feelings and saving my marriage."

The one I'm way less confident about: I'd say (and this is related to point 1 but still a separate thing) that Kant finally feel like he can turn over a new leaf. All the things that he was running from caught up to him, and it should have killed him, it certainly felt like it was killing him, but it didn't. Immersion in water symbolizes a cleansing of the soul and/or a sheding of past identities in many cultures, and Kant emerged from the sea with the absolute proof he was loved. That's bound to make a man want to look toward the future! Add to this his gradual realization that what he was doing wasn't actually efficiently helping Babe, which culminates in him admitting that Babe will be independant very soon, and you get someone who's more than willing to let the past be past. Now, obviously irl he would still probably need to adress his trauma, but as a character? I'm not sure he does. And at this moment I think he's kinda basking in that feeling of rebirth, despite everything. (There might also be some Buddhist element in that reading, like the idea of letting go of past hurts, rather than give them power over you by obsessing about them, but I am not Buddhist and know very little about Buddhism so. idk. do NOT quote me on that) TLDR: Kant did not dwell on the past because he is, symbolically, moving on from all the bad shit in his life.)

Thus conclude my thought on the question! I shall now release that post into the wild, where it perhaps will catch the attention of fellow Kant appreciators who might add to it crunchy thoughts of their own, and - oh, wait. There's a second part to this ask.

Okay, so, the thing is I am not the best person to weight in on the safeword scene, because I tend to have very knee-jerk reactions to how safewords are used in fiction. It's one of my numerous bdsm related pet-peeves, and I've been trying very hard not to inflict my rants on the subject on people who didn't ask, and. *deletes one of said rants* I will be strong and not get into it. I do personally think it was silly, but not in a bad way, simply silly like a lot of the show is silly, like a hitman tying a guy to a bed with promises of pain and then introducing himself as "the cutest waiter in a burger joint" is silly: just because something is silly doesn't mean it can't also be meaningful, or even kind of heartbreaking. Personally, it did not hit me nearly as hard as the "Hi, I'm Bison" moment did, because 1. that's a tall order and 2. see the "kneejerk reactions to the use of safeword in fictional settings" part of this paragraph. But I did find it remarkably sweet! (and just to make sure no-one gets their own knee-jerk reaction reading my post: safewords are useful in many settings and necessary in many others, including fictional ones. i am not disparaging safewords. carry on.) So my very instinctual answer to "does this scene give you more or less confidence that they'll revisit the BDSM?" is well, they went somewhere I didn't particularly want them to go, so how can I trust they'll go somewhere I actually want them to (ie, more BDSM)? (Not to mention that the safeword use could technically function as a sort of bookend: they opened the BDSM talk with it, they could close it the same way. It would not be very satisfying to me, but I have to reluctantly admit that it wouldn't be bad writing.)

But if I take a step back from my own feelings... well, I don't know. I don't know, because until now this show has not followed the usual scripts for BDSM in media. Pretty sure I've already been over some of the things that I've loved so far, so I won't go back on them, but my point is that it's been breaking some old molds, and while I appreciate it, it makes speculating a lot harder. What I will say, though, is that BDSM has been woven into the KantBison plotline in a way that allows it to really underline the various themes of that plotline (trust most of all, imo), so why drop it when we still have four episodes to go? Especially since the writers do seem to care about it enough to not just follow clichés.

And like I said, you could argue that the safeword scene do bookend the BDSM "arc" quite well - from the two of them agreeing on a safeword that can't really mean anything since one of the participants is partially having sex under pressure, to them using the safeword in a non-sexual setting to convey that they can actually be trusted to respect boundaries and, in the case of Kant, can be trusted to set boundaries. Like, it does make sense!!! But wouldn't it make even more sense, and be even sweeter, if we went from a scene gone wrong to a scene going right? Maybe the safeword scene wasn't so much the bookend as it was the climax of the BDSM arc. In which case I do believe they will put bow on it later. A nice little epilogue to it. So yeah, I don't know, but I see no reason to just assume they'll drop it. With still four episodes to go, I believe each couple will get one more (if perhaps only slightly) sexual scene before the end of the show, and I hope they'll put the BDSM there. But even if they don't, it's not like the show has been shy with sex jokes and little allusions so far, and I really don't think they'll stop. Wether that's enough or not will be a matter of taste.

Well, I started this post saying I had just woken up, and it's now time for lunch. I hope this isn't too jumbled, and that you'll find something for you in there. A sincere thank you for being interested in my thoughts! With any luck it will also spark conversations, and we'll both get to read more Kant meta.

[bentnotbroken1fanfiction]

Sneak peak of the Kidnapped Style fic I'm writing for @kaleidoskuls

Style wakes up slowly, which is probably a good thing, because it gives him time to adjust to the pain his body is in. 

He tries to stretch, to shake out his tingly limbs, but startles when he realizes that he can't. 

His eyes snap open, and he looks around in complete confusion. 

He's shirtless and tied to a chair in a cold, dark, cellar-like room. 

Where the fuck is he? 

And how did he get here? 

The last thing he remembers is leaving Kant at the pool…he was heading straight to the Diner but…obviously he never made it there. 

At first, he thinks that maybe this is just an amped up version of a role play. He and Fadel were kind of working their way through some fun scenes, but there's a few things about this situation that indicate that this is not a part of one of Fadel's kinky plans. 

One being the lack of a heads up, and two being that they'd agreed that drugs were off the table. And by the way his head feels like he'd downed a fifth of his Dad's special tequila and his mouth feels like it's been stuffed with cotton, he's pretty sure he's coming down from being drugged. 

But who the hell could have-

Do you think the police are just going to let them go if we find their boss? Stop trying to think your way out of this, Style. Even if we find out who they work for, this only ends in two ways. 

Kant's voice echoes in his head, and he realizes just who it is that has him. 

It's his boyfriend's boss. The one that hands out the hits.

He doesn't have much time to worry about that though, because as soon as he starts moving and making noise the door opens and a man with glasses and a smartly dressed middle aged woman come into the room. 

“Ah, is our guest finally awake?” The woman says, voice dripping fake sweetness as she approaches him.

Style shifts the best he can in order to gather enough confidence to reply, “Oh? Is this a hotel? If so, I'm definitely giving it 1 star. Your hospitality really needs work, and the accommodations are crap.” 

When the woman smiles, it's sharp. Lethal. It makes Style's skin crawl. 

She looks over at the man. “It looks like we have a funny one on our hands. I didn't think my son was into comedic acts.” 

He can't hold back his reaction. “You're Fadel's mom?”

That doesn't make sense because Fadel said his parents were murdered, and the look in his eyes when he said it….he wasn't lying. 

She doesn't respond, only rakes her eyes over him before glaring and turning away, walking back towards the door. 

“If you make him talk, I'll let you out on the field next time.” She says to the man, who just gives a deep wai and a muttered, Yes, Khun Mae, and then she's gone. 

That was definitely the boss. A boss that refers to her hitman as her fucking sons. 

Now he's alone in the room with the man who looks at him like he's dog shit oj the bottom of his shoe. When he strides closer, Style realizes that he recognizes him. 

“You came to the diner.” He says, “To see Fadel. Who the hell are you people?” 

The other man just frowns and takes off his glasses, tucking them away in his shirt pocket before rolling up the sleeves of his nice dress shirt. 

“I’m the one that asks the questions here." He says before grabbing a handful of Style’s hair. It hurts, but he's had worse. Fadel has pulled it harder. 

“Then ask your questions and get this over with.” He hisses. He knows he probably sounds like a spy. He probably sounds like a cocky asshole fitting the role they believe him to be in. 

But the truth is…he's absolutely terrified. 

He can handle some pain…but torture? He can't handle that. He'll do his best, but he knows himself. He will eventually fold if they hurt him enough. 

He just hopes Fadel goes looking for him before he rats out his best friend and lands him in a seat right next to him. 

“What are your plans with Fadel?” The man asks, digging his fingers into his jaw. 

If it had been Fadel doing it, he would be getting turned on, but since it isn't, Style is only irritated and a little afraid. “To love and cherish him.” He says, partially to be a smart ass, but also because it's the truth. 

But apparently, the man doesn't agree. He lets go, only to viciously backhand him across the face. 

“Why are you spying on him?” 

“I’m not.” He insists, “I like him. Why are you doing this? Are you his family or something?" 

He ignores his question and hits him again. “Who sent you?” 

His lip splits. He can taste the blood on his tongue. “No one. Why would anyone send me to spy on my boyfriend?” 

That's apparently not the right thing to say. 

He brings back his fist and lands a solid punch to his abdomen. Style immediately groans with the force and pain of it. He feels like he's going to vomit. 

“Who sent you to spy on him?” He asks again. 

“Nobody!" He repeats, trying and failing to prepare for the next hit to his stomach. 

“Who are you working for?!” 

“My Dad!! I’m a fucking mechanic!” 

It goes on and on. Style answering the questions with half truths. He keeps Kants name out of his mouth and tries to get this guy to understand that he loves Fadel. He's not whatever or whoever they think he is. 

But no matter what he says or doesn't say, the violence continues, until his right eye swells shut and blood drips down his chin from his nose and shredded lip. He's in so much pain he can hardly stay present. He wants to just float away in his head. 

But then the man puts his hands around his throat and everything comes back online. He is choking him hard, putting in the effort to bring him to unconsciousness, but before he can slip awwy, his body does something stupid. A moan slips out. 

And well, he's starving, tired, and only fucking human. 

The man looks shocked as he releases his hold on him, but then he grins.“Oh? Maybe you have been telling the truth. Maybe you are just Fadel's little slut-”

He spits blood on the man's face. “Fuck you. Only Fadel can call me that.” 

He only gets to see a glimpse of the fury on the guys face before he's hit so hard the chair falls backwards…

And he slips into blissful unconsciousness.

[paalove]

I wish you would write a fic where uhmmmm they kill….the hearts….

I’m not actually sure what the heart killers is sorry monarch consider this ask a free space to ramble on a fic idea that’s popped into your head recently but you haven’t done anything about!

sdknkdmksdmmsd ultimately it's all about which modern shakespeare adaptation you get captured by. that being said bc i was messaging you about nothing much to do i guess i have to talk about the most much ado-adjecent element of the heart killers - i don't have time to write it before the next ep josses the fuck out of it, but "heyyyyyy this guy did something bad to someone i love, will you kill him for me? thanks 😘" is not, in canon, something that's going to happen.

however, style would ask. fadel's his dear hitman! he would!

...

"It's in line with our goals," Fadel says to the table.

Bison, examining his fingernails with a knife, says, "Kant cried about what that police captain did, last time," but doesn't agree.

"Just because you think that's hot doesn't mean you shouldn't kill him," Style insists.

Bison smirks.

Fadel swallows; Style's foot is on his inner thigh.

"I'll stay out of it," Bison says. "I'm busy."

"Leave the knife-"

"-You're not getting that knife back," Style advises, as he watches Bison leaving. "Does the diner go through a lot of them?"

Fadel shrugs.

"So," wide eyes, a stretch to show off his crop top, "You'll kill him, right?"

He closes his eyes, but keeps seeing the abs.

"Sweet!" Style crows. "I'll blow you in the kitchen-"

"-Customers," Fadel hisses.

Style nods, sagely, in the way that means he's definitely going to blow Fadel in the kitchen. Maybe with the door open.

The possibilities are endless.

[wedielike]

Passenger Princess

I woke up and this idea popped in. It's just a tiny drabble so not going on AO3. I'm also open to writing some prompts if anyone wants to leave them in the ask box.

*

“What the fuck is that?” Fadel demands the second they’re back in the car and Style is rummaging through the bag in his lap.

They’d only stopped driving because it had been hours and Style had been whining about being hungry and maybe Fadel was a little hungry too. And they needed gas. So he’d begrudgingly pulled over, but he hadn’t let Style get out of the car without first reminding him of the consequences if he tried to run away or ask for help.

Style had just flashed him a shit-eating smile, as if the gun in Fadel’s hand had no effect at all, and said something like, “Of course, my dear hitman.”

He still hadn’t let Style go in alone, keeping a close eye to make sure he didn’t talk to anyone as he shopped for snacks. So he isn’t sure how Style had managed to get what looked like a cropped teeshirt into his shopping.

“It’s for you,” Style says, shaking the shirt out with a flair for Fadel to see.

It’s just a plain white shirt, somehow cropped because Style can’t buy anything else, but splashed across the chest in pink, sparkly letters, it reads, “Passenger Princess.”

Glowering, Fadel is not impressed. Style is his hostage, not the other way around, and he’ll be damned if he wears something so stupid. Style doesn’t even seem that surprised when Fadel rips it out of his hand and tosses it in the backseat.

“Shut and drive,” Fadel says, pulling the gun out of where it’s tucked in the back of his jeans, gesturing at the steering wheel. This isn’t some fun, romantic road trip where he’ll buy Style ice cream and lick the drips off his face. They’re going to find Bison and Kant, and at the end of it, Style will be dead.

“You’ll be glad for it when you start to smell,” Style just says as he turns over the engine, and Fadel glares. He wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that shirt, especially since Style gave it to him. This will be over long before that, he decides, eying Style and the annoyingly confident smile on his face as they pull back onto the road. Long before.

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

15 Day BL Challenge - DAY 27

As Louis once said: on our way to 27~~ sdkjskdjskdjskd

Also for anyone catching up with this: my wishes for Christmas became true, I did get an album from my brother, he got me ATE by Stray Kids (it hasn't arrived yet but it will soon).

Top 3 BL Kisses

Asking really hard questions, tbf... I really like kisses. All kinds. So I'm sorry to most kisses out there, I'm sure you were all great, but I was forced to choose.

Number 3: TongrakMahasamut Beach Kiss (Love Sea)

I was calm, I was tense and then I WAS FUCKING SAT. The italicized "oh"? You know? The "Oh. Oh." FUCKING FELT THAT. This was the exact moment this series had me. I was shooketh. They are crazy and they are nasty and I was in for it. Man found in his house, glued to his seat watching guys being filthy on a beach.

Number 2: PatPran Rooftop Kiss (Bad Buddy)

I've mentioned this scene before for other reasons but if you know me, you know I'm gonna keep mentioning it bc it's just FUCKING MINT. The acting is so, gooooodddddd, ah OHMNANON, OHMNANONNNNNN... At least they're interacting again, right? Oh, well... But yeah, it changed my perception of what BLs were (or what they could be). From the lines, to the facial expressions, to the body language, to the intensity of the kiss... Absolutely stunning scene.

Number 1: JackJoke's 1st Kiss (Jack&Joker)

Jack&Joker made my Mondays better but no Monday was better than the one where THIS KISS happened. What a fucking moment... WoW... The emotion, the rawness, the want, the desperation, the desire, the LOVE... There's so much story being told right there and it's so... Well done. YinWar's chemistry is legendary and their acting is fucking real but damn... God fucking damn it, it was a pretty scene. Nobody is out there doing it like YinWar and we all know this. Big W.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: UncleMilk's Goodbye Kiss (Choco Milk Shake); FadelStyle at the Concert (The Heart Killers) & SandRayBoeing's Kisses (Only Friends)

What I love the most about uncle and Milk is uncle's understanding. He knows how Milk is and he respects that, the feistiness is not something that scares him and his avoidance of touch is not something he takes poorly. But also... When he needs to push him forward, he does. This all is shown in that kiss and I adore it.

I think Fadel and Syle got me more not on the kiss itself but on the context of the kiss. What it means. To both of them and to each of them. To Fadel is freeing, to Style it's caging but to both it's an expression of love and want. Fadel feels like Style is the best thing that happened in his life in a while, Style feels like he's probably the worst thing that's happened in Fadel's life in a while... And it's painful and gorgeous and NEXT EPISODE IS GONNA HURT SO FUCKING MUCH, HOLY SHIT!!!

Idek how to explain that scene... Oh, no, wait, I kinda do! (link) dkjskdjskdjsk But basically, I just think the differences between kisses are glorious, it portrays the relationships between each character so well. It was a bold move but it was a GREAT bold move. Shout-out!

[trashcakery]

This was after the hug, Fadel’s tears, the slow dance, the I have fallen for you, the kiss. Fadel had made up his mind. He would take what he could get—Style’s smell, the shape of his mouth, the taste of his skin—one last time. He knew it was over, could feel it seething between his lungs, the anger a quiet whir in the back of his head. He looked into Style’s eyes for a moment after they broke apart, and he thought of collapsing the facade, of grabbing his shoulders and shaking a confession out of those beautiful, lying lips. But Style simply looked back, smiling, unwavering, clueless. Did you really think I would not find out?

They were to spend the night in Fadel’s room. Style was tired. He went quiet at times in the night—a part of him Fadel was sure no one else knew. It was as if he gave out his spark in constant bouts, leaving little to himself in the final hours of the day. The loudest people can be the loneliest, Fadel thought, fleetingly.

“Fadel,” Style whispered. He was sitting on the foot of Fadel’s bed, the smile, though tired, reaching his eyes. His hair was wet. He had just showered, and was in grey sweats and a black band tshirt that Fadel swore wasn’t cropped a few weeks back. Style raised both arms up, asking for a hug, asking Fadel to kill the space between them. “Why are you so far?”

Fadel didn’t say anything. He watched Style; the droplets lining his neck, one by one, pooling in the milky collarbones; those wild pretty brows that were surprisingly relaxed, not challenging him like they always did. He looked so good, so harmless. Fadel wanted to jump out of his own fucking skin. He walked, measured, towards him. Style’s shoulders perked up, a light in his face. He wrapped his arms around Fadel’s neck when Fadel bowed to let him, and they held each other’s eyes. Fadel stayed there. Say it. Say something. His mind was a jumble. Why won’t you say anything? But Style sat there, expectant. Fadel tightened his brows and quickly, like reflex, grabbed Style’s jaw. Maybe he’d scare a confession out of him, he thought. Maybe that’ll get him to explain himself, to swear to Fadel that Bison was wrong and that he didn’t betray him, that he wasn’t lying when he said he loved and wanted him. Fadel’s fingers left white prints where they pushed the skin. But Style stayed as he was, trusting. Fadel searched his face, searched for a silver of a clue, but found none. It pissed him off. Why was Style’s guard down? Why was he so fucking calm? Why wasn’t he afraid, still smiling, still ready to give his body, down to the bone, to Fadel? Fadel dug his nails into the skin, knuckles white, and Style titled his head ever so slightly to kiss the part of Fadel’s hand he could reach. “I miss you,” he said. “I was so worried that your shop was closed. I thought I was going insane.”

Fadel didn’t understand this. He didn’t know how to react. He was angry. He wanted him. He wanted him so much. He wanted to say goodbye. He didn’t want to kill him. He didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want this to end.

“Why?” He said, a breath.

It was Style’s turn to frown. He looked confused. “What?”

Fadel snapped out of it. Immediately. His fingers relaxed around Style’s jaw. He took a breath, grounded himself. “Nothing.” An exhale. “Come here.”

The kiss was slow, deep. Fadel couldn’t close his eyes. He kissed him, watched when he could. It felt wrong, but he needed to do this, one final time.

Style slipped out of his shirt. It came off beautifully, his hair crowned with a shimmer. He looked up in quiet excitement at Fadel, who was standing now, taking his own shirt and pants off.

Style pushed himself to lie on the bed then wrapped his arms around Fadel’s back as Fadel climbed over him. They looked at each other. It was never like this between them. Fadel was suddenly aware of it all. Of the sounds their bodies were making against his sheets. Of the difference between them, in size and mannerism, the pace of their breaths, how Style’s gentle thrill was getting the better of him, how Fadel’s limbs were stiffening up in response, his trust in Style completely shattered.

Style raised his head up and kissed him again. Fadel tasted peppermint, fruit candy and sweetness. He wanted this. He wanted lifetimes of this.

“Fadel,” Style whispered against his mouth and stroked the back of his neck. “Did you think about me while you were gone—“

Fadel slipped his tongue in to shut him up. He didn’t want to admit the answer. I did. Every night.

They kissed, again, and again, shed off the rest of their clothes. It was different this time, the silence a creature in its own right. Fadel kissed Style’s body carefully. He left no part untouched. Style’s breaths came in quiet moans as he held onto Fadel tightly, always following his gaze, always trying to show him it felt good. And it did. It felt so fucking good, like fire, like martyrdom. But Fadel avoided Style’s eyes when he was inside, his face turned as he moved, slowly, carefully, awkwardly. His heart hurt. It shouldn’t be like this. It was never like this. He kissed Style’s neck when it became unbearable. And Style kissed him back, wherever he could, his jaw, his chin, his cheek, holding on tighter with each motion. Why? Fadel’s tears burned.

“Fadel,” Style closed his eyes and whispered as his head fell back. He bit hard onto his lips. Fadel went deeper, and watched, detached. “Fadel.”

[secriden]

You know what makes me soooo excited for the next phase of Fadel and Style's relationship? It's that they will finally slot into the CORRECT relationship dynamics because this whole time, it's been flipped.

From the beginning, something felt off, and I think it's because Style's true desire is to be pursued. We are shown this pretty much in Style's introduction when he blatantly puts his body on display with the Crop Top Stretch. Style wants to be approached, wants to be propositioned, wants to be desired. Also, remember how he initially flirts with Fadel when his only motivation was his own attraction? He pinned the Heart Burger badge onto his chest to create an opportunity for Fadel to put his hands on Style's body.

Of course Fadel wasn't pursuing Style; was in fact, actively trying to get away (for reasons OTHER than a lack of physical attraction to Style), so it is the plot that has to drive our lovebirds together using Kant's request and partly Style's own desire to get some revenge.

But throughout their interactions, we constantly see glimpses of Style's desire to be pursued: every single time Fadel even shows a HINT of wanting Style, he immediately falls pliant, like he can't wait to let Fadel take the reins. And nothing shows this more clearly than the absolutely blissed out look on Style's face in Ep 4 when he thinks Fadel has finally admitted that he wants Style.

(Fucking hell, just look at how dazed and almost euphoric Style looks here? It's like Style has been starving for the barest hint that Fadel truly wants him.)

Which is also why we've gotten so many fake outs. Because although Fadel IS attracted to Style (Ep 2 made that...abundantly clear), he isn’t remotely ready to pursue anyone. Not only is Fadel nursing a broken heart, barely beating, he also has very justified suspicions about Style’s connection to Kant and Style's unnatural persistence.

So it's Style that has to pursue - he dodges Fadel's footsteps, and bullies his way into Fadel's life; but in between the frustration and annoyance, Fadel's walls begin to crack. And I think it's SO COOL that the first significant evidence we have of Fadel's walls crumbling is because Style puts his body on display for Fadel. Because Fadel responded to something that was naturally part of the way Style operates before he even met Fadel. And there are other, more compelling reasons why I think Fadel begins to fall for Style, but that's not really the point I'm trying to make here.

When Fadel said "If I like you, I'll do the pursuing", it wasn't just to get Style to back off. Because now that Fadel has finally chosen to explore something real with Style, we are seeing Fadel's words in action. I know some people have said Fadel's switch to flirting so blatantly with Style in Ep 4's gym scene came out of left field, but I think it may well be confirmation that this was always the dynamic they were meant to be in. Fadel likes pursuing and Style likes being pursued. They fit, they match, they're perfectly compatible.

(Fadel looks almost faintly amused by how "flustered" Style is. Because he doesn't know that Style is actually afraid of him - why would he, when Style has evidenced zero fear so far? So this comes across like Style is getting shy in response to Fadel's unexpected and more overt approach. And possibly this is Fadel starting to remember how much he enjoys the chasing.)

Unfortunately, Kant's revelation is going to screw allll of this up. But, we are finally going to see glimpses of how they work when they're aligned correctly in their dynamics! And while it will take a journey (and oh, it will be gloriously painful, won't it?), our boys are finally on the road to something lasting and I am sooo glad we get to come along for the ride. <3