#factory fifteen
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reiwa fancam mode glotta stomach (gavv) | episode 2~5 & 7
#14shyx#14shyx edits#kamen rider#kamen rider gavv#gavv ୨୧ kr log#kr gifs ♡*+:。#kr gifs ♡*+:。 gavv#reiwa fancam mode#reiwa fancam mode / glotta stomach (gavv)#kr.gavv: glotta stomach#kr.gavv: episode 2#kr.gavv: episode 3#kr.gavv: episode 4#kr.gavv: episode 5#kr.gavv: episode 7#flashing gifs#glotta: fifteen seconds of screentime holding an acrylic standee and smiling#me: outstanding revolutionary never been seen before#it's already boxing day here but merry (late) christmas!#here's some glottas i finished editing about a month ago and forgot about bc i was losing it over colouring#fun fact when they show the stomach siblings in the factory the lighting is rather - washed out? dull? should i say?#so i have to add a second layer of vibrance to make the colours pop unlike when they're outdoors#i might put the stomach twins into reiwa fancam mode as well bc i've become fond of those malicious little guys
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Frederick Eberstadt
Edie Sedgwick
1965
[photos for Life Magazine]
#modern art#american art#fred eberstadt#life magazine#edie sedgwick#warhol#the warhol factory#the factory#underground movies#style icon#girl of the year#pop art#andy warhol#famous for fifteen minutes#fashion#fashion plate#muse#1960s style#1960s#1965
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It seems like you're a big fan of Warwick Davis, I was wondering if there are any other little people actors you really like, especially women and trans/nb actors?
Hello! Yes I do enjoy Warwick Davis! Willow (1988) remains one of my favourite LP films, and I've really enjoyed his career of fantastical characters.
Like a lot of industries, white men make up a lot of the most famous Little actors (Warwick Davis, Peter Dinklage, Danny Woodburn, Martin Klebba, Verne Troyer), so I'm happy to mention some of my favourites outside that group!
Linda Hunt is a favourite of mine - she's a Hollywood veteran best known for her role in The Year of Living Dangerously (1982) where she was the first actor to win an academy award for playing someone of the opposite sex!! She's been on Broadway, done tv, film, and voice acting! You may know her as Lady Proxima in Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018).
If you think you don't know Deep Roy, chances are you do! He's been a scale actor in countless award winning films including Star Wars (1980), Star Trek (2009-2016), The Never Ending Story (1984), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) and so many more! We owe so many beloved characters to scale actors and people hardly know it - Deep Roy has been responsible for dozens of them, I adore him.
Despite Patty Maloney's vast career in acting, I know her as Lois Addams from The Addams Family (1991)! Before my time she was in a variety of tv shows and films including Star Trek Voyager (1996), Little House on the Prairie (1982), and The Lord of the Rings (1978).
Cara Mailey is a young actress, author, presenter and activist! She's known for her role in Derry Girls (2018) and Read all About It! (2021), as well as her ebook "I Got This" - which speaks on her experience living with Achondroplasia. I wanted to be sure to give her an honourable mention because at only fifteen she's already become an activist for the LP community! I'm excited to see how her career evolves!
Thank you for the ask! Be sure to check these folks out!
#dwarfism#dwarfism awareness#disability#little people#disability awareness#dwarfism in media#little actors#actors with dwarfism#linda hunt#deep roy#patty maloney#cara mailey
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Private Professor - Max Verstappen
Words: 5,576 Summary: For years and years, Max has claimed that he has a girlfriend, but no one has ever met her and he refuses to talk about her with the media. And it’s far easier to believe that he’s lying when no proof of a girl exists. Note(s)/Warning(s): Small Age Gap (Reader is nearly two years younger), Some Angst, Mostly Fluff, Jos Verstappen. Thank you so much to the anon that requested this! I had a lot of fun writing it!
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At fourteen and sixteen, their relationship is all blood rushing to their cheeks, fluttering hands, kisses that last too long and not long enough, panting breaths, and hickeys below shirt collars. It’s whispers of forever, of I’ll take you here and there. That house will be ours one day. Whatever you want, you’ll have. I’ll be on break, you’ll come home and I’ll be waiting. You’ll follow me everywhere and I’ll do the same.
It’s promises they don’t realize they shouldn’t be making but do. It’s sweet nothings and petty fights that last a day before they’re back in each other's arms. It’s pretending not to notice how his dad watches him amused as he walks calmly out of the door before sprinting over to her house and sneaking into her bedroom. It’s her parents pretending not to hear the thud of him falling into her bedroom and the light giggles their daughter makes.
At fourteen and sixteen, their relationship changes. It’s no longer seeing each other when he doesn’t have a race or training and is home, no Red Bull duties to be done. It’s long phone calls, texts, snapchat streaks, learning how to video call. It’s carrying two power banks with them everywhere and Max buying them both expensive phone cases that charge their phones. It’s falling asleep on the phone while the other is just beginning their day. He attends classes with her, while she listens to him train. He goes to red bull meetings and pretends not to have the light sound of breathing in his ears from her falling asleep while studying or doing her homework.
Fifteen and seventeen, brings them peace. She’s still studying like a mad woman at Harvard of all places, but he’s got an F1 seat of all things. He’s in F1. He suddenly has more things to do but more free time. When he’s not racing or at the factory or doing weird press things that make him want to rip his hair out, Jos is putting him on a plane to America, to her. And he soaks up all the time with her he can, despite it being filled with her studying, attending classes, and forcing actual food down her throat which her parents both thank him for.
It also brings the stupidest thing in the world; the doubt and disbelief that he has a girlfriend.
Carlos is the first to bring it up upon seeing his home screen that’s just all black, not even the default that iphone has.
“No girlfriend?” Max frowns at him, pocketing his phone and sending a glance over to where his father is standing and talking to his race engineer. “What?” “Your home screen, it’s all black. You don’t have a girlfriend?” Carlos is teasing, joking. The whole paddock already knows that Jos Verstappen wouldn’t let his son have a girlfriend, not now when he’s got an F1 seat. Such a thing would be a distraction and Max isn’t allowed those. Max isn’t allowed friends on the grid either. Carlos wonders though how much the last part is just a Jos thing. “I do.” Then he says her name, all soft and sweet in a way Carlos never thought Max could be. It’s nearly enough for him to believe Max, but then he catches a glimpse of Jos and shakes his head, clapping the seventeen year old on the back.
He is the first to not believe Max, but far from the last. It’s Daniel next, Christian, Esteban, Pierre, Sebastian, Lando, every interviewer that asks.
It doesn’t matter because at seventeen and nineteen, she gets her second degree and begins the nightmare of getting her doctorates in education and history. And he picks out a ring before making his father hide it away. And instead of him constantly flying to her, she’s flying to him. Hiding out in his Monaco apartment, turning his living room into a disaster zone as she spreads her things around to study.
The mess drives him crazy, but he doesn’t move anything no matter how much his hands itch to do so, instead just pressing a kiss to the top of her head before pressing himself in between her and the couch. Grinning when she sends him a look, a clear don’t be a distraction, before giving him a kiss.
His days in Monaco when she’s there are spent in the living room after training, playing fifa or watching some documentary for one of her classes with her, and poking at her lightly because he doesn’t know shit about history but he’s still able to remember countries quicker than her.
They turn eighteen and twenty and nearly get married when her family goes on vacation to Vegas, dragging the two along despite them not being able gamble, which is the only reason her parents had chosen Vegas. The only thing that stops them from getting married is him not being a US citizen and her visa just being for school. It’s a fucking wakeup call for him and he can’t help but pester her about places in Monaco to live.
She entertains it for all of five minutes before she’s cupping his face and kissing him. When she pulls back, she’s shaking her head. “As long as it has you and four bedrooms, I don’t care.” “Four?” “We’ll need our own offices and a guest room.”
It’s barely anything for the real estate agent to work with but he doesn’t care. He wants something that’s at least four bedrooms, two baths, a decent kitchen, and a view. She liked the Monaco sunrise and sunset and he planned on letting her be able to see it anytime they stayed in Monaco.
His agent gets back to him in a week and he ignores the look on Daniel’s face when he comes over for the first time. Ignores the jokes about it being too big for one person just like Daniel ignores him saying that he has a girlfriend.
“If you had one, I’d have seen a picture of her mate. The whole world would.”
Max still remembers the way his jaw had twitched at the thing everyone said. That if he had a girlfriend, they’d have seen a picture of her, that he’d be showing her off every second, have her at the races, been seen with her. When Max had made it abundantly clear that the worst part of driving was the media, the fame. So why would he ever subject someone he loves to that when they both weren’t ready for that?
Because they weren’t. He wasn’t ready for another part of his life, one of the most important parts, to be something for everyone to look at and dissect. And she wasn’t ready for it either. Not when she was doing so much studying. She barely felt like she had time for him, which he denied and hated vehemently, she didn’t have time for the online vitriol of being a girlfriend to a high profile athlete. And she didn’t need to be harassed as she attended classes and studies groups and such if someone recognized her and didn’t like that she was with him.
Not showing any pictures or videos of her was also easy for him. It wasn’t because he didn’t have any, he had hundreds. But they were pictures and videos of her, only meant for him. Not because they were dirty in nature, though some were, but because how she was in them was something only she allowed him to see. It was photos of her with a finger pressed to her top lip as she glared at her books, videos of her sitting on something too tall for her feet to touch the ground and letting them swing. It was her smiling at him, all fond, shy and in love.
It was them wrapped up in each other's arms and love. Her in between his legs or the other way around. Her sitting on his lap as Vic stole his phone to video them laughing and exchanging kisses. Her giggles as she tries not to fall asleep as reads her books to him over facetime. It’s her in her purest form and he doesn’t want the people in his life who are so quick and sure to not believe him to get to see that.
Nineteen and twenty-one, she officially co-owns their place in Monaco and he starts scouting out property in Belgium and land in France that’s somewhat close to the principality he lives in. It was too early to start building a house to live in forever, not when they weren’t sure what they wanted to live in forever with their kids, but it wasn’t too early to buy the land for it.
It also leads to their biggest fight in years.
“Max!” Her nails are digging into her arms. “I’m not saying that. I’m saying that I want to help, that I can pay. I have money!” “And you don’t need to!” He’s yelling as well, face red with anger. “I’ve got money too! You don’t need to pay for shit when I can.” She shakes her head. “Really? Is that how it's always going to be? I won’t ever get to pay for anything? Just have a salary and trust fund wasting away.” She scoffs, giving another shake of her head. “Is it about being the breadwinner? Because don’t worry Max, I’m well aware that you’ll always have more money than me. Doesn’t mean I can’t contribute to our life.” “Fuck.” He murmurs seeing the tears brimming in her eyes but not falling, the hurt in her words. “It’s not about that at all. It’s not about being the breadwinner.” “Then what is it about?” Her voice is high pitched. “You won’t let me pay for a single thing! I can’t buy groceries without you slipping money back into my wallet. I can’t help pay the bills and now you won’t let me help buy the land that will have our house on it. What is it about Max?” “You’re mine.” Her eyes widened at his quiet but firm tone. “You’re my girlfriend, the love of my life. One day my wife and the mother of my children.” He runs his tongue over his teeth, feeling words and feelings he’s only ever really let come out during sex or when they're both so drunk they barely remember anything the next day. “I want to pay for everything because it’s providing for you, it’s making sure you’re eating, sleeping somewhere safe, getting the best, most accommodating flights. It’s knowing that I’m providing for my family.”
“Max,” she breathes out, arms falling away from her chest and then she’s moving closer, resting a hand over his racing heart. “You want to provide for me?” He nods. “For our future kids?” “Yes.” “So do I. So, we’re going to work on this. You want to buy the land, you can.” He looks at her distrusting, because this didn’t sound like working on it. “But, I get to pay for groceries when I go out for them, without you paying me back. I get to pay for netflix because I use it more and spotify.” She adds. He frowns at her. “I don’t like it.” “Too bad and I’m not done. In return, you get to pay the bills, put gas in the car for me,” he grins at that. “Pay for my flights and we are going to open a joint account to put an equal amount of money in every month. For things like vacations, anniversary dinners, and the kids. Because it’s important that I get to help provide for them too. And when we build that house together, I want to pay at least half of the contracting fee. I’ll let you pay for the rest.” “I want to pay for any of the kids' interests. Like art, ballet or karting.” “No deal.” She shakes her head and he’s frowning again. “You can pay for all the karting, it will mean more. But I want it out of the shared account for the other things. Unless,” she pauses. “Unless,” he encourages. “If any of them decides to go to university early like me, I want to pay fully for it.” “No.” It’s quick and now she’s frowning as well. “It’s our children and their education. Shared account.” “Their first degree.” He shakes his head. “And if it’s their only degree?” Her brows press together, it was a good point. Just because they decided to go to university early like her didn’t mean they’d go for more than one degree. “First year.” His eyes narrow as he looks at her, but he nods. “First year. But only of the first degree.” “First degree only.” She agrees.
It’s quiet between them before Max lets his face soften, lips twisting slightly into a smile. “Are we done fighting?” She laughs, but nods. “Yeah. We’re done fighting.” “Thank god.” He breathes, pulling her into his arms and burying his face into the crook of her neck. “Let’s not do that again.” “Not anytime soon at least.” “I love you.” He murmurs. “I love you too.”
Twenty and twenty-two has their families asking when exactly they’re getting married, wondering why there isn’t a ring on her finger and their only saving grace is their time spent in Monaco together away from them all. But when it gets to be too much as pressure builds as she tries to finish her doctorate in education while still working on her doctorate for history, it’s Jos that steps in for her and Max.
The three of them shared a complicated relationship. She could never like him for the parent he was to Max growing up. From the near abuse he hurled at him when he failed, the pressure he put on a child, the leaving him in a foreign country for a few hours when he wasn’t even a teenager more than once. But she did love him, because Max loved him and in his own way he loved Max and he showed that with his support of their relationship when everyone expected for him to have a problem with it, label it as a distraction. And now as a few years had passed and Max was comfortable in his F1 seat, he was Max’s fiercest defender, unwilling to back down, but would if Max told him too. And he was her fiercest defender as well. Glaring at jokes about her not needing a degree with the money Max made, not forcing her to join on trips when she was busy with school or questioning her support of Max because she didn’t attend races.
So, neither Max or her are surprised when Jos steps in when her grandparents are trying to back them into a corner as to why she doesn’t have a ring on her finger and how they have a number for a wedding planner and she should really give her a call, when all they want is to get breakfast before retreating to their room so she can resume her studies while Max hovers around her while going over his own work.
She hadn’t been thrilled at first when she learned that Jos would join them on the trip, knowing that Sophie wouldn’t be there, but now she was grateful and she made sure to squeeze his shoulder before leaving the kitchen and scheduled a nice quiet dinner for herself, Max and Jos as thanks.
The media becomes relentless when they’re twenty-two and twenty-four and Max wins his first championship. Because there is no girlfriend in sight despite the now champions thanks for her support and love. They tear Max apart for creating a fake girlfriend that has no name or face, call him unloveable with his fake championship. Some tear her apart as well, calling her gold digger, selfish, undeserving, fans of Max and the sport do as well.
It was supposed to be a happy moment for him, one of if not the best in his life, but it’s tainted, ruined, and as soon as he’s home with her in Monaco, all she can do is hold him and pretend that the texts from his friends begging him to go out and get laid don’t make her cry later in the shower.
Despite the texts and a bold one from Daniel about hiring him a prostitute, she forces Max to go out, to celebrate with the drivers in Monaco, to get drunk and have fun, and forget what the media is saying about him.
“I’m coming back if one of them even hints at a prostitute.” He tells her and she laughs, but she knows that he’s serious. He’s never even once considered cheating on her and one of their first serious fights had been about her trying to convince him and herself that she’d be okay if he got lonely while he was traveling and needed someone. He hadn’t believed it for a second and it had been one of the few times he had been so pissed at her that he couldn’t even stomach to look at her.
“Am I making a mistake, mom?” She asks, barely five minutes later, not even bothering saying hi when her mom greets her over the phone. “No.” Her mom’s voice is firm and has her blinking away tears. “But,” “No.” Her mom cuts her off. “Sweetheart, I can’t even begin to try and understand Max and yours relationship. But this, this privacy that you two have, that’s not a mistake. It’s rough right now and it will be. And it will come back later when you two do decide to be public, but it’s not a mistake. You two both made the difficult, heartbreaking, mature decision to keep it private for both of yours sake.” “I know.” She whispers, wiping away tears. “You both still need privacy and there is no shame in that. Max isn’t ready and neither are you. As far as I’m concerned the only mistake you two have made is still not being married with a baby on the way.” “Mom.” She groans and her mom laughs. “I know, I know. Just remember that despite the seven or so years you’ve been together, that you two are still young, still doing so much growing.” “Thank you.” “Of course.”
When Max arrives home hours later, drunkenly stumbling around and into bed, she’s not surprised by the smell of liquor clinging to him or the drunken murmurings he’s pressing to her skin. She is surprised by the deep inhale he takes and the splutter that makes her turn to face him.
Eyes a little blurry from sleep and wine, she makes out squinted eyes, flushed face, and a frown.
“You’re drunk.” “You’re drunk.” She replies, curling closer to him. “You’ve been crying.” “Yeah.” He slips an arm around her, pulling her closer. “We’re going to feel like shit when we wake up.” “Yeah.” He chuckles, brushing lips over her forehead. “That bad?” “That bad.” She nods.
At twenty-three and twenty-four, the itch that Max has had since he was nineteen, one that’s grown worse and worse as the years have gone by, is too persistent and he takes a quick trip to his fathers house the day after she turns twenty-three and returns with a ring and the promises they made at fourteen and sixteen, promising them all over again, as she stares at him with a smile and teary eyes.
“I’d be stupid to not want to marry you Max.” She tells him when he slips the ring on her finger, breathing a sigh of relief when it goes on, fitting perfectly. “You’re going to marry me.” She nods, giggling at his blown pupils and silly grin. “Yes, I am.”
It seems stupid to be so giggly and flustered about it, so love sick, when they’ve talked about it so much. About getting married, about houses, kids, life after racing and teaching. But it’s different with the ring on her finger. Not more real or tangible. Just more.
“I know I proposed early.” She shakes her head, wrapping her arms around his neck and his arms eagerly wrap around her waist. “It’s perfect. I know we talked and had plans, but this is perfect. Besides, I’ve got news of my own that’s early.” “Oh?” Max’s eyebrow raises and he knows it’s not possible, not really with her religious use of the birth control shot and the way they mainly use condoms, more for convenience than anything else, but his eyes drift down to her abdomen that’s exposed. There’s no difference, but he can imagine what it would look like, he can also imagine what it will look like in a few hours. “Not that.” Her bottom lip is pulled between her teeth. “I got an email about my viva exam.” “Your viva? But you haven’t submitted your thesis yet.” “Actually,” “Stop.” He lifts a hand to press it against her mouth. “You submitted your thesis already? You completed it?” She nods, her laughter muffled by his hand and he drops it. “Well, what did it say? The email.” “Once I get to the ceremony, I will officially hold a doctorate in education and history.” He kisses her before she can say anything else.
“Unbelievable my love, unbelievable. Two doctorates by twenty-three.” He shakes his head, smiling wide. “You know what that means right?” He shakes his head again, unable to think of anything. Too overcome with his proudness and love for her. “I’ll have my position at Harvard right after the ceremony.” Blue eyes widen. “And they agreed to let me teach a mix schedule for all of 2022, but when the official school year starts for 2023, I’ll just be teaching digital.”
Twenty-three and twenty-five has them weathering the media storm once again as Max wins his second world championship. It’s worse this time. Not because he says more than he did last time about her or says her name or slips up and calls her his fiancee and not girlfriend like they agreed to. But because this championship no one can deny is his and she’s still not there. Too busy in a different continent with the start of the school year as she teaches by herself for the first time since earning both her doctorates.
It’s also not as bad this time, because some of his friends do think that he’s seeing someone, not the girlfriend of years, or even really a girlfriend, but just some random girl that understands he’s too busy for an actual relationship and willing to put up with him spouting to the media and everyone else that he’s in a committed relationship. She doesn’t have time to focus on the media and fans that believe she exists, she barely did last year, but this year she really doesn’t.
“You know,” she says five days after he’s won his championship and they are in the house they have stayed in for the past two years when she has to be at Harvard and he wants to join her. “Around this time next year, we’ll be public.” His face does a weird contortion at the thought. There was a giddiness to the idea, to the thought, but also dread. “That means,” she continues when Max doesn’t say anything. “That you have ample time to figure out how you want to tell people.” “How I want to?” “Yeah. This is your world, your friends, colleagues, nightmares,” she adds and they both laugh. “You can decide how exactly you want to get back at them for not believing you.” “I’m not going to be cruel.” “No.” She lifts her hand and lets her pointer finger trace over his lips. “You’ve never been a cruel person, Max. But you can be a menace.” His eyes light up at that. “Oh. And you don’t care?” She shakes her head, “This is all you and I’m more than happy to be along for the ride.”
She is twenty-four and he has just turned twenty-six when he decides to enact his plan that he came up with so many months ago.
He had made a reservation for a private hall in Monaco months ago, hired a party planner to take care of the finer details, but sorted himself out the place and the food and drinks that would be served. And the day after he turns twenty-six, he picks up the large stack of enveloped invitations he had made and carefully packs them in his suitcase for Qatar. He was winning the championship there and he’d be damned if he didn’t make an already memorable weekend even better.
It’s the first time in a decade she has traveled with him to a race to actually watch the race and not just be there at the hotel to support him as she studies and he can’t help the smugness and happiness that radiates off him when he shows up to the track for the first day.
He’s got his backpack over his shoulder, but the invitations are already in his hands, ready to be passed out.
“Max!” Charles greets when he arrives in the driver's debrief room. All twenty of them, plus reserves, team principals, and Daniel sitting and standing around as they wait for the FIA representative to get here. He looks down at his watch, noting that it will at least another ten minutes, before his eyes flicker to a member of the Red Bull staff that’s standing against a wall, but just like he asked, they’ve got a camera in their hands and there’s another one standing leaning against the opposite wall, also with a camera. “Charles. Safe flight?” “Always. What do you have there?” “Ooh,” Daniel chimes in, moving closer and looking at the envelopes in his hands. “What do you have there?” He smirks and he can see Daniel’s grin flatter at the sight for a brief second. “Invitations.” He says, before tossing or passing them around to the different drivers and Christian. He nearly avoids giving Lando one just to be a shit but Toto isn’t there to give it too and it wouldn’t be the same to give it to a different team principal jokingly.
“What is it for?” Carlos asks, eyeing the dark envelope like a lot of the other drivers are, suspiciously. He shrugs, eyebrows raising when he sees the way Lando is feeling the envelope. “Mate, I’m not giving you money.” Lando frowns, before ripping it open. “You’ve got more than enough to spare.” Seeing Lando open his, has the rest of them following suit.
“Dear friends of Max Verstappen,” George reads out and the wording earns a few snorts but he continues. “You are invited to celebrate at the” he pauses squinting at the french on the page. “The Salle des Étoiles” Charles says. “Cheers, mate. You’re invited to celebrate on the 8th of November at 4pm.” His eyebrows furrow. “Celebrate what?” Max watches from the corner of his eye as Christian flips the invitation over and nearly chokes.
“Your engagement?” “Your what?” “Engaged?” “Impossible.” “Lies.”
The whole room is filled with denial and panic and Max just smiles, nearly laughing when Logan thrusts his invitation into James’ hands and asks the team principal if it’s true.
“Max, you aren’t engaged, right? Like that was a fuck up with the print place?” Daniel is nearly pleading, begging, and Max would feel sorry, but for the past ten years he’s been telling people he isn’t single, and sure he’s never shared many details, but they all refused to believe or even consider it. He ignores him, instead looking at the room in large. “You’ll meet her tomorrow. She’s very excited about it.” And as if he planned it, the FIA official walks into the room and no one can question him.
When the meeting is over he manages to avoid all of them except for Christian, who nearly drags him into a private room.
“Is this real?” Max raises an eyebrow at the way he’s waving around the invitation but nods. “Yes.” “You’re really engaged.” “Yes, Christian. I am.” The older man stares at him, not blinking before sighing and running a hand over his face. “Is she pregnant?” “What?” “The girl you’ve been sleeping with recently. Is she pregnant, is that what this is about? Because you don’t have to marry her.” “No one is pregnant.” He reassures, not even able to find any anger for Christian and his assumption. The older man sighs again before sitting down and slumping in the chair.
“You’ve had a girlfriend since you were sixteen.” There’s regret, guilt, and sorrow in his voice. “Yes.” “And I never believed you.” He shrugs, it had hurt yes, but he had always understood Christian’s disbelief in it over anyone else's. “No.” Christian nods. “And I owe you both an apology for that. I should have believed you Max.” “Thank you.” “But really, ten years and you’ve just put a ring on it?” Max groans, rolling his eyes. “You sound like our families.”
They are twenty-four and twenty-six when Max wins his third championship, with the sprint race of all things, and the whole world watches as he’s enveloped by his team before he’s tugging off his helmet and kissing the unfamiliar girl that’s between Christian and Jos, shielded from the rough crowd of Red Bull mechanics, crew, and such. They are twenty-four and twenty-six when everyone finds out that Max had been telling the truth the whole time.
Just about a month later, she eases into the spot between Max and the arm of the couch, eagerly tucking herself closer to him when he drapes an arm over her shoulders.
“You alright?” She nods, “Yeah, Vic and Tom finally left.” Max snorts, “It only took them thirty minutes.” “A record for them.” She grins, before looking at the other people surrounding them, or rather Max. She wasn’t surprised that Max had taken to quickly grabbing a few people and secluding themselves in a corner. She was a bit surprised by the people however.
Charles and Daniel which isn’t too surprising, but there’s the three rookies of the season, Liam, Oscar, and Logan, as well, a little surprising, but nothing compared to the two Mercedes drivers also in front of her.
“You aren’t trying to get Lewis to play paddle are you?” Lewis laughs, shaking his head. “I get enough of competing with him on the track. There’s no convincing me there.” “It’s fun, Lewis.” Charles says. “You should join. George you too. Make it Mercedes versus,” he pauses, eyebrows scrunching together as he tries to think of something to call himself and Max. “Lestappen.” She offers, inching away a bit when Max pinches her side. Charles doesn’t notice the pinch, just smiles at her, before looking at the two British drivers. “Yes! Mercedes versus Lestappen.” His eyebrows then furrow. “What is Lestappen?” “Mate, you don’t want to know.” Liam tells him. Logan chuckles, “I don���t know. Either he finds out now or he finds out when he googles it later.” “Googles it.” George murmurs, mocking the American accent that Logan has. “Bloody Americans.” “Yeah, yeah, tea and crumpets.” Logan waves off Georges mocking with a grin as he looks at Charles. “It’s what people call you and Max, a nickname you could say for when you two are together.” She tells him before Logan can say anything. “Oh,” he frowns, considering. “That doesn’t sound so bad.” “It’s not.” She assures.
Before anyone can say anything else, someone joins their group, eyes focusing on her.
“Dr. Y/L/N, congratulations on your engagement.” She looks at the older man in surprise before quickly standing to shake his hand. “Toto, a pleasure to see you again. And please you don’t need to call me doctor.” Toto smiles, tilting his head forwards, conceding as she sits back down. “Doctor?” Daniel questions, eyes flitting between her and the Mercedes team principal, not sure of what to make of the interaction, though Max seems perfectly fine with it. She presses her lips together and she can feel Max move a bit closer as Toto’s eyes narrow at Max. “Yes.” She tells Daniel and the rest. “I managed to get both of my doctorates last year.” A few jaws drop and Lewis whistles. “And I thought you were just a teacher.” Toto’s looking at her now, with narrowed eyes and she sighs.
It would be just her luck that despite having just met the man once, that one time had resulted in a long conversation after he gave his guest lecture at Harvard.
“You told them you're a teacher.” “I told them I teach.” She corrects. “Let's not make a big deal out of it.” “I want to make a big deal out of it.” Max mumbles and she sends him a pleading look. But Max doesn’t give in, instead he turns to the rest of them. “She’s a professor at Harvard. She got both her doctorates at twenty-three and quickly was signed on as professor.” “So, what you’re saying,” Oscar starts, breaking the silence that has fallen over the group. “Is that she is way too smart for you?” Max laughs, eyes crinkling and body bending forward from the force of it. “Without a doubt, mate. Without a doubt.”
@cixrosie @darleneslane @teti-menchon0604 @eugene-emt-roe @fanboyluvr @gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @benstormy @iloveyou3000morgan @copper-boom @boiohboii @topguncultleader
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#sins fics
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Tech Support
Alexia Putellas & Putellas!Reader (Jana Fernández x Putellas!Reader)
Word Count: 1.2k
[WOSO Masterlist]
“So I am… supposed to click this?”
Alexia’s hand is swatted away at record speed before she can make contact with the screen.
“No, this one.”
Who would’ve thought. Captain of the country. Legend of your club. The La Reina may be feared by players worldwide, but even she could be beaten by something as simple as a new phone.
The two of you have been at this for a couple hours now.
When your sister first slid the box across the table at you, your eyes nearly bulged out of your head. You didn’t even have time to thank Alexia before she crushed your dreams right then and there. What you first thought was a present for you turned out to be a resigned plea for help.
As the resident tech genius you were high in demand. Last week it was setting up your mami’s tablet. Yesterday it was fixing Olga’s laptop. And today it seems to be Alexia’s turn.
Though now that you think about it, “genius” may be a stretch. It’s not until the third time you stop yourself from throwing Alexia’s phone at her that she lets it slip that Alba was actually her first call for help. It’s no surprise to hear that your middle sister was quick to refuse, given that the last time she helped Alexia set up a phone resulted in heated words and staunch refusal to speak to one another for two weeks.
Given that she’s your club captain the loss in communication is something you can’t risk, but you’ve always thought of yourself as gifted when it comes to technology. If you could teach your mami how to use facebook without spamming her personal page with posts about you and your sisters, surely helping Alexia transfer her data and set up a new phone would not be too hard of a challenge.
Oh how you’re wrong.
Though you’re only eight years younger than Alexia, she still manages to struggle as if she’s well into her nineties.
Ask if she’s backed up her data? Might as well have told her to recite the first fifteen digits of pi.
Ask if she’s taken note of the apps she needs to redownload? Might as well have asked if she knew the secret to happiness.
Tell her to grant certain apps permissions to her phone? Might as well have told her you were transferring to Real Madrid.
Ask her to re-sign back into her multitude of accounts? Might as well have asked her to transfer to Real Madrid.
If you had known just how teeth pulling this would be, you would have left Olga to deal with Alexia herself.
Despite your clear and well-informed instructions of what to click where, which settings to enable or disable, Alexia kept bulldozing through your words, thinking she knew better.
Spoiler, she did not.
Jana’s already been by to give you some words of encouragement, but after the fifth time you quietly asked if she could make up an excuse to drag you out, she hunkered down on a nearby couch with Olga. The two of them, traitors at heart, are having a blast watching some trashy reality tv show while you struggle away with Alexia.
At this point you’re one more question away from factory resetting Alexia’s new phone, but a promise from Olga to buy you lunch and a burning desire to prove to Alba that you’re a better teacher than she is leaves you clinging to the last piece of sanity you have.
After what seems like an eternity, Alexia finally sits back from where she’s been hunched over your shoulder, poking and prodding at her phone.
“I still don’t understand why I have to set up a passcode when I could just use my fingerprint to unlock everything.”
The only word capable of describing Alexia at this moment in time is brooding. Arms crossed, face drawn in a frown, your thirty-year-old sister is brooding over your insistence at setting a passcode.
You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “What if you’re at training and you need Mapi to pull up something from your phone while your hands are busy?”
Alexia huffs, smile on her face as she thinks she’s got you. “Simple, I would never trust Maria with my phone!”
“Ale!” you groan. “That’s not the point.”
She’s not wrong. The last person to mistakenly trust the blonde haired woman with their unlocked phone received the device back with fifteen added stories to their instagram account. Though that was on the tamer side of what the defender was capable of, no one’s really let her borrow their phone since.
You catch Jana’s twinkling eyes over the back of the couch as she shares a giggle with Olga.
“Okay, what if I get hurt on the pitch and you’re too busy consoling me? I’m sure Jana would appreciate being able to use your phone to call mami to let her know I’ve been hurt.”
Alexia rolls her eyes. “First, Jana already has mami’s phone number. Pretty sure she likes your girlfriend more than the both of us.”
The number of times Eli has called you just to ask if Jana would be coming over for a family dinner would be insulting if you weren’t smitten with the idea of your girlfriend having fit right into your own family. Though the two of you haven’t officially been together long, years of friendship meant Eli was more than delighted when she found out the two of you were together. It also meant she was quick to catch Jana up on any and all family events she was hosting.
“Also, that’s not a problem because mami never misses one of our games so she’d already be there!”
It’s almost as if Olga can see the steam coming out of your ears. She’s quick to walk over, rubbing you back apologetically before throwing an arm around Alexia’s shoulder.
“Would you please set one for me, amor? Sometimes I misplace my phone and yours is closer.”
It’s maddening the way Alexia instantly starts nodding like a lovesick puppy. She plucks the phone right out of your hands, swiping until she can get to the right screen.
From over Alexia’s shoulder Olga gives you a wink.
With her girlfriend wrapped tightly around her, you take your cue to exit.
Jana opens her arms wide and you enter willingly. The older girl chuckles when you instantly bury your face against her stomach, arms tightening around her legs.
“I wanna go home,” you grumble, ignoring the way you can feel the vibrations of Jana’s laughter.
“Don’t you wanna stay for lunch?”
As much as you loathe the hours wasted on Alexia, the promise of free sushi did sound pretty good. All you have in your fridge is some leftover pasta from the night before, and you’re never one to pass up free food.
“Hermanita, what’s this I’m seeing about unlocking my phone with my face?”
You stiffen.
On second thought, leftovers didn’t sound too bad.
#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#jana fernandez x reader#jana fernandez imagine#woso x reader#woso imagine#Ace writes
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interview with Richard Pex about Max's go-karting days Formule1 magazine, The Year of Max 2024
"At some point I knew Jos and Sophie from the go-kart track in Genk. I was there, riding with my two eldest sons. But with Stan who was four years old then, too. At some point Sophie came up to me together with Max and said: 'Max wants me to ask you how old Stan is.' I said four and then Max said: 'See. I'm five already and I still have to wait until I'm six.' Jos wanted him to wait until he was six but I asked Max: 'Would you like to drive?' Sophie didn't really want that but we did it anyway."
A few innocent laps with great consequences, Richard realises more than twenty years later. "A couple of days later Jos called me. 'Yes, thank you very much', he said. 'Now I have to buy Max a kart.' That's how it started. We agreed then to go karting together more often. Sparring and training. I raced too but I couldn't keep up with Jos. 'Well, you have a better engine', I said to him. 'Okay', Jos said then, 'then I'll fix this engine for you before the Dutch Championship in Amsterdam.' I went like a rocket during practices but at some point I thought: is that Jos over there? He'd been curious about how things were going and had come to Amsterdam for that. 'Can I spend the night in the trailer? Because I'd like to see the race tomorrow', he asked. Typical Jos: pure passion. We clicked and that's how our friendship started."
Verstappen's go-kart team was run by Frans [ed. Max's grandpa]. Because Jos was still active in F1 and couldn't be there for everything. On top of that, Frans and Jos were busy with the boys that drove for the team and sometimes that was at the expense of Max. "In Genk the mini's were allowed on track for fifteen minutes of every hour. Then Max came over and said: 'Daddy, I want to drive too.' At some point Jos was done with it. He said: 'This isn't right. I'm constantly busy with others and then when my son comes and asks me to drive, I don't have time. You know what I'm going to do? I will quit the team. From now on I'm only going to focus on Max. He really wants it, wants to drive so badly. Do you want to do this together with me?'"
Richard didn't need to think about it for long. "My sons were driving as well, so that sounded good to me. 'Okay, then we'll buy a van and we'll do it together', Jos said then. From that moment on we were together almost day and night, at the go-kart track or the business in Maasbracht. There, in that factory hall, we set up a workshop and from there we started working. I think I've been at all Max's go-kart races. It was an incredible time. Very hard work but wonderful. Jos was busy every day, from morning until night. Max went to school, (laughing) sometimes not, but after that he was always there. To tinker or drive. Often they were eighteen hour days because I still had my own company as well. But we had a lot of succes. Jorrit became world champion [ed. in 2006] in Portimão. Jos was his mechanic. Max was there, Stan, our wives. I still get goosebumps now. Especially that look from Max to Jorrit in that moment. You could see the passion in Max's eyes, the will to achieve the same. I can still see Jos caressing his little head, telling him: 'Your time will come.' Unforgettable." That Max had the talent and gift to go far in the racing world became clear very quickly. But everything that happened behind the scenes and what was needed to facilitate young Max optimally is rather underexposed. Richard was there from day one and got sucked in. "The brakes were off with Jos. Everything had to move out of the way for the higher goal. Jos always said: 'Max just has to perform, then everything else will follow.' He made it as difficult as possible for Max; he raised the bar a little every time. Jos felt Max should race with older boys. He had the luck he could often spar with Jorrit, who is five years older. What Max didn't know, was that sometimes Jos added lead to his go-kart and wasn't satisfied until he was as fast as everyone else. Every Wednesday afternoon we went to Genk. I picked up Jorrit and then we took the van to Maaseik to pick up Max from school. He was always the first one to run onto the playground to get in, rain or shine. I think we must have been in Genk 48 Wednesdays out of the 52. Going on holiday was another thing. We always took the van because we'd go on holiday near go-kart tracks. The deal was: one day at the beach and the other day the boys were allowed to kart. That quickly turned into karting every day. Often at unknown tracks and then Jos would say: 'Lap 8 will be pole-position time. Not lap 25 because then you boys will know the track already', That's how it went."
Max was fast right away, showed his famed ruthlessness already at a young age and could match the absolute top of the world in karting. That didn't happen without a fight. The competition watched with disbelief which lead to plenty of speculation that cheating was involved. Jealousy reared its head but not with the person that should have been bothered the most: Jorrit Pex. "Jos and I also often watched in disbelief at how fast Max was. Jos would then compare Max's data to Jorrit's and point out the mistakes he made. Max would often get into a discussion, did not hide away and would then talk to Jorrit. Recently, in an interview, he said: 'I learned a lot from Jorrit.' I liked that." Jealousy wasn't an issue because Jorrit is so different from Max, character-wise. "Jorrit also said: 'give Max the best material. He must become world champion.' That's what he was like. Jorrit didn't have any issues with that. He wanted that for Max. I also noticed Jorrit was more of a homebody. He enjoys going away but mostly he really enjoys being home a lot. Because he'd already said he wanted to run the company with [brother] Yard, the choice was clear. There never was any envy. Not from me either. I was there for everything, been through it all and it was fantastic."
That Max had just that little bit extra, Richard and Jos discovered empirically. "Jorrit and Max were sparring with equal karts. Engines that ran equally fast, same weight, no difference whatsoever. And yet, on the straight Max went just that bit faster every time. If you didn't know better, you'd think: he's got a better engine. Even I started having doubts and Jos too wanted to know now. 'You know what?' Jos said, 'We're going to exchanges the engines.' Nothing changed. Max was a tad faster again. It meant that Max came out of the corner with more speed and therefore was at top-speed more quickly. How he does it, I don't know either. That's pure talent. You can still see it with him now, in Formula1 as well. Max had a good engine but not a better one than the competition. It was purely Max. He had and still has that little bit extra. Tire management, technique of taking corners, attack, defend - Max mastered it down to the last detail. He had good equipment but he did not become European and world champion because he had the best material."
The straightforwardness of the Verstappens is not appreciated all around. In F1, with all its egos, disagreement is never far away. Conflicts lurk in a world where the competition is razor-sharp. Jos was (is) extremely black and white. Max will occasionally accept a shade of grey but only if he's being utterly convinced he's wrong. How did Richard Pex manage to never let those powder kegs explode? The Limburger laughs. "I read or hear stories that make me go: how do they come up with that? Yes, Jos was tough but I've never seen Jos box Max's ear. And I was there for everything. Me and Jos click. We're true friends, through thick and thin. We've been through all the ups and downs and talked about everything. We slept in the van together, were together 24/7 most of the time. Of course I wondered sometimes: how will we manage this? Jos wasn't the easiest person but we always talked things through and turned out okay. And we're both proud of that. We've got, I think, rather the same character: honest, straightforward. We didn't always agree but that was also to up the pressure. I'd say: 'Jos what you're working on now, won't work.' 'Oh yeah?' he say then, and start working like a madman to prove the opposite.
[…]
Max mediated to have Richard and his best friend Stan as a guest in Abu Dhabi in 2021 for the heroic grand finale of the battle between Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen. "Now I have to be careful otherwise I'll become very emotional. Nothing will ever be more beautiful than that. That I got to be there for that… Pfff. Max said before that: 'You and Stan are coming with us to Abu Dhabi.' Yeah, that's something you'll never forget. Together in the car on the way to the track. Talking about go-karting and the past. On the day of the race Max said: 'Richard, this is the big day. I'm going for it fully. It's going to be difficult but you never know. And then it happens. That last lap, I knew: now he's going to get it. Afterwards tears flow. "I saw everything again. Max on that crate, Jos kneeling before him. The look between those two. I saw those icy cold little hands again, the tears in his eyes when Jos had sent him back on track in the rain and cold in Genk again. Unfortunately we don't see Max a lot any more, but that will change again. I'm certain he still thinks the karting days were the best time of his life and not the present. When the helmet is on, he's the driver but he doesn't give a damn about the whole circus around it in F1."
[…]
Richard Pex has been there for all of it. Nobody that - except for dad Jos of course - knows Max Verstappen better than this Limburger. "Even in karting I already said: it's Max who makes the difference and when he gets to F1 and he's got equal equipment, it will be: start, away and done. That's how it was and still is."
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Chocolate Fixes Everything
Willy Wonka x reader
Words: 1179
Sick fic for Willy Wonka, made this cause I’m sick again and I’ve become sick so often these past few months 🙃
Accepting requests for Willy only right now send me any requests plz I’m on a Wonka high rn
You couldn’t believe it. Your throat was itchy, your nose was sore. You could barely get past fifteen minutes without a horrendous cough flying out from the back of your throat. Your nose was stuffed and if it wasn’t stuffed, it was runny, which is why you kept a box of tissues close by. It wasn’t the fact you were sick that you couldnt believe, it was the fact that you were sick only a mere weeks ago and here you were, ill again. Typically this didn’t happen to you but recently it seemed like your immune system was against you, (maybe it was because of all the chocolate you had eaten recently but who knows).
While many of your friends had got the message of your sickness it seems like Willy wasn’t one of them.
“You wouldn’t believe the idea that just popped into my head!” Wonka shouted as he practically tossed your door open, your eyes shot wide as you suddenly became fully alert at the abrupt activity.
Willy on the other hand walked right past your bed which was positioned on the opposite side of the door, with his mind clearly focused on whatever his new idea was.
“Noodle and I were discussing and she had just reminded me of—“ his words were cut off and his upbeat pacing came to a halt when he finally realized you were still in bed.
His expressions seemed to relay curious, then sadness as his facial lines deepened. Without missing a beat he pulled up the wooden chair nearby. “What happened? You look horrible.”
A knowing smile tugged at your lips while you pulled your blanket further to your chin, “gee thanks, that’s just what everyone wants to hear when they’re sick.”
“You’re sick!? No that can’t be, I remember you being sick only two weeks ago.”
You nod acknowledging the fact while his face shifts into surprised? Or maybe excitement…? Stunned? It seemed like all of the above.
“Well you’re in luck,” he exclaimed scooting himself back towards the desk across the room, setting up his small briefcase factory on the table, “because I have something that’ll make you feel right as rain,” he stops tinkering with his case for a brief moment to shoot you a mischevious look, “chocolate rain.”
You rolled your eyes while he turned right around whipping a concoction together.
“Willy, I love your enthusiasm but chocolate can’t just make everything feel better.”
“Says who? Who says?”
“Medical doctors that’s who!”
“Oh doctors schmoctors,” he waves the concern off.
“Chocolate does fix everything. And this isn’t just regular old chocolate.”
Attention grabbed, you watch peculiarly as he pushes buttons and pours things in different areas of his case.
“Last time you got sick you felt awful for practically a week and a half, and I started making this since then,” his briefcase makes whirring noises as it gets to work mixing the ingredients. “Now let me ask you, what do you typically take when you have a sore throat?”
“A spoonful of honey with lemon?” You ask, unsure if that was the answer he was looking for, I mean many people do a variety of things once sick, but you took a shot in the dark anyway.
“Absolutely. But that feeling only lasts for a short time. But with this candy I designed, it lasts far, far longer.”
The machine stops and out pops a single candy, shaped simple and evenly square, as green as a lime. And with that candy in hand he returns back to you across the room.
“This is a Choc-well, because as soon as you eat it you’ll feel well,” you gave him an odd look, “the name hasn’t been hashed out yet.”
He motions for you to open your hand and he drops the small piece in your palm, to which you look at suspiciously. “It’s chocolate?”
“Yes. The outer layer is a milk chocolate, while the inside is a honey like substance from the Beezle-midge. And then inside that, is a tiniest drop of twang from a lime.”
“Beezle-midge?”
“It’s a small type of insect that usually travels in groups, except when separated and given the right incentive it secretes honey.”
You winced grossed out by the fact, “ew.”
“It’s good, trust me. Now try it.”
With one final motivating look from the boy you took the chocolate and popped it in your mouth.
“If you want it to really work suck on the chocolate, don’t chew,” he instructed just as you were about to take the first bite. But you did as told enjoying the chocolate. Little by little the chocolate layer disappeared into your mouth as the honey started to make its way to the front and Willy watched on as you ate the delicacy.
After a few moments of honey came the tiniest twang of flavor just as he said and just like that the candy was gone.
“So, how does it feel?” He asks and for a moment you’re not sure what he’s asking for.
“How does your throat feel?”
You oh-ed before closing your mouth in thought. The taste was on its way out but your throat felt much better, it no longer hurt from soreness and you didn’t feel any itchiness no or scratchiness.
“It feels…normal! Like it doesn’t even hurt. That’s amazing! How does that happen?”
“The honey from the Beezle-midge as it’s going down puts a small coat along your throat which lasts practically a whole day.”
“That’s splendid Willy, truly astounding!” You praise sitting up in bed. True you still had your other symptoms but at least you didn’t have to worry about your throat or coughing for now. Willy displayed a bashful smile at the compliments that he took to heart.
“Why didn’t you give this to me last time?” You asked curious as to why he just let you suffer, surely it couldn’t be just cause he forgot.
“Well actually…” he tilts his head back and forth before continuing, “you being sick last time is kind of the inspiration for it.”
This was not a new thing, Willy used many different people and experiences as inspiration, but he suddenly felt so shyly in telling you about yourself being his inspiration. Why? Was it because he didn’t know how you were going to react? He knew you would react well of course, you always did when it came to his creations.
“You made this…” you pointed to air essentially now that the chocolate was gone, “because of me?”
He nodded modestly, “last time you got sick, you missed out on a lot, and we missed you a lot in the factory.”
You grinned a toothy grin, “aww that’s sweet, and this chocolate is so cool!”
At your exclaim he felt relief, “good, I’m glad it’s working.”
That made you pause, “glad it’s working? What does that mean? You haven’t tested it before?” You asked worried.
“That’s not what I meant, geez. You do that one time,” he mumbled as he went back to his small briefcase factory.
#willy wonka x reader#wonka x reader#willy wonka fanfic#wonka fanfic#willy wonka fanfiction#wonka fanfiction#wonka 2023
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This drawing is for you (Lando Norris)
Matilda already has her love language, handing out her drawings to people
Note: english is not my first language. Look who showed up, hm? Honestly, the last two weeks have been a bit all over the place and I've been meaning to post way more than what I actually have
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!
my masterlist
Tag list: @myloverjk-blog
"Mummy?", you heard your daughter call for you, walking to her playroom since you assumed that's where she was, "yes, baby?", you made your presence known.
"Can we stop by the stationery shop when we go and pick daddy up from work, please? My colouring pencils are getting too small", she showed you a few examples, the colours you recognised from having a big presence in her drawings belonging to pencils that you were barely able to hold in your hands yourself.
"Of course, Tilly", you smiled, "speaking of which, we have to leave soon. Are you almost finished with your drawing?", you wondered, "yes, mummy, I just need to finish colouring in the sun", she mused, grabbing the tiny yellow pencil and carrying on with her work.
When she finished, she set the pencil down, stopping in the bathroom to wash her hands and heading to the door to meet you, "hold your sleeves", you nudged as she held on the hems while you put on her jacket, not wanting her to let the clothes climb up her arms and be uncomfortable.
"Let's go, mummy!", she cheered, walking downs the stairs into the garage so you could get in the car and drive to the factory.
As you were driving, your husband called, "hello, love! We're already in the car on our way to get you, we're going to stop by the shop to buy some colouring pencils for Tilly so we don't have to wait too long for you", you said, turning on the blinker once you faced the junction.
"Hi daddy!", Matilda spoke loudly, hoping her could hear her like she heard him, "How are my favourite girls today? Actually, I was calling because the meeting ended early and I'm ready whenever you want to pick me up", Lando voiced as you saw your daughter smile from her spot in the back of the car, "you can come with us to the shop, then!", she said excitedly.
"That's a great idea, love! Me and Matilda will go and pick you up first, then! We're ten, maybe fifteen minutes out, depends on how traffic is, it looks okay, though", you muttered, finding it easy so far to drive to the factory.
"Okay, I'll be waiting for you! I love you, girls! Drive safe!", he said before ending the call, Matilda clapping her hands excitedly at the prospect of seeing her father earlier than expected.
By the time you arrived at the factory, Matilda had listed all of the materials she would like to get so her drawings would be pretty. Parking the car, you got out, putting on your coat as you walked to open Matilda's door, "let's go, Matilda!", you smiled, unbuckling her belt and making sure she was cozy and warm to face the cold end of the day temperatures.
Everyone in the factory knew you and your little one, so they would have at you, knowing they would have a difficult time at getting many words out of your little girl, usually a sweet smile, a wave and a small and quiet "hi" before she held onto your legs and hid her face there.
Lando was laughing loudly, so it was easy to know that as soon as you crossed that corner, you'd find your husband along with one of his mechanics and engineers.
Matilda smiled as she saw her daddy, releasing the grip she had on your hand, but keeping them laced until Lando and her locked eyes, "hello, my loves!", Lando said, crouching down so his daughter could finally unlace her hand from yours and run up to him, hugging him and allowing him to pick her up so she could kiss his cheek, "Hi, daddy", she whispered in his ear.
Even though there were only two other people beside her parents, she was still shy as they greeted her, "Hello!", they said as she waved, smiling before hiding her face on her father's neck.
"We'll talk about it tomorrow. Goodbye Y/N, bye-bye Matilda!", they said as they went the opposite direction, you and Lando bidding goodbye whenever you encountered someone until you were in the parking lot, ready to get in the car.
"Do you want to drive?", you asked your husband despite already knowing the answer. He hated not being in control of the situation if he could, so driving his family around was non negotiable most times, only sitting as a passenger when he was very tired.
Buckling Matilda back in her seat and kissing her forehead, you got into the car yourself as your husband drove to the usual shop where you got your daughter's art supplies and your own whenever your work required materials.
"Do you already know what you want to get, babygirl?", Lando asked as the three of you walked inside the shop. It was unusually quiet for this time of the day, and a small part of Matilda was happy because she could go up to the shelves and drawers she already knew had what she needed without having to ask her parents for help in moving along the shop.
After grabbing the supplies she needed, she took them to the young woman at the front so her parents could pay for it, "have a nice day, Matilda! I'm sure your works of art will be beautiful!", she said. You and your family were regular costumers, so they had already grown to know your name and hers, so they had managed to get in the small group of people that were not family and friends and Matilda didn't feel to shy with.
"Bye-bye, have a nice day, too!", she waved sweetly before running up to her daddy, "very good, Matilda, I'm very proud of you for that!", he said, kissing her cheek and walking along with you to the car.
.
The McLaren unit was working on full speed as you arrived, coffees and other drinks being served as guests arrived or workers carried on with their day, you opting to go to the track, along with Matilda, after the initial morning rush so you wouldn't have to deal with too many people at once.
"Do you want to to go to daddy's room or stay here?", you questioned her, "here in the lounge", she replied as you walked to one of the tables near the windows so you could be near the sunlight that had graced the weekend and be a little further away from the buzz.
"Do you want to draw with me, mummy?", she offered once she was comfortably sitting on the chair, taking her pencil case from her backpack along with the blank sheets of paper.
"Sure, love! Let me just text daddy so he knows where we are when he finishes his meeting", you smiled, grabbing your phone to text Lando before setting it down and grabbing the things you needed.
"Are you drawing daddy's car?", Matilda asked sweetly as she took a peek at your work, "I am! Do you think it's pretty?", she nodded, "but not as pretty as yours, I love your butterfly", you complimented.
As she was finishing colouring in the wings, one of the girls from the PR team came to greet you, "Y/N, Matilda! It's been a while since I saw you around!", she cheered, kissing each of your cheeks as you did the same to her before she noticed your daughter looking at her, "hello", she said in her usual quiet tone.
As you spoke with the young woman, your daughter carefully folded the paper and ripped it by the crease she had made so she could separate the small drawing from the rest of the plain paper.
"Alright, girls! I'll see you later!", she said as someone called her name, presumably with a task for her to do.
"You can have this one if you'd like", Matilda spoke, showing her the drawing, "really, babygirl? Thank you so much, I'm so flattered!", she said, accepting it and keeping it safe in her notebook, "I'll keep it here until I can get home and put it in my wall, okay?", she nodded as your little girl blushed at the attention, nodding too.
.
Because the practice session was being used as the scheduled opportunity for the reserve driver to do a few laps on the track, Oscar joined you and Matilda as you looked over the cars on track.
"I need to go to the bathroom. Do you also need to go, Tilly?", you asked your daughter, earning a head shake no, "I'm good, mummy", she said, going back to colouring in.
Excusing yourself after Oscar assured he'd keep her company, Matilda was quick to silently offer her crayons to the Australian man along with her colouring book.
"Where are Lily and Lucas?", she asked for her usual companions for the weekend. They would often be together so you and Lily could catch up while the kids entertained themselves in eachother's company.
"They stayed back home this weekend", Oscar explained, "but they told me they wish they were here. I think they're coming to Silverstone, so we will all be together then", he smiled as she gave him a small smile, too, noddinh in agreement and taking out her new glitter pens.
They start colouring and not saying much, only asking eachother to please hand them a crayon or pen the other couldn't reach or if the drawing looked good. Matilda felt understood by him, so it was no surprise that, besides her family, he was the person she felt the most comfortable with spending time in the paddock.
.
"Where's daddy taking you, little miss?", you asked as you saw Lando change the t-shirt your daughter was wearing. Under her dungarees, she now had an orange McLaren t-shirt, matching her father as he held her on his hip, "we're going to hand in drawings I made, and I didn't want to do it alone, and since you said you were feeling tired, daddy said he would take me", she smiled, kissing your cheek when you got up to kiss your husband's lips and her forehead.
"You sit tight, alright baby?", Lando urged, "me and Tilly want you to be well rested when the time comes to watch the race", he kissed your forehead. You hadn't slept that well the night before, so when Matilda had built her collection of gifts, she didn't want to tire you out more.
Leaving the hospitality, Lando walked with Matilda, asking her where she wanted to go first, "Can we find uncle Seb first? Mummy and I saw him when we arrived, but there were a lot of people near him so we said we'd see him later", she reasoned as Lando quickly searched for the retired German driver, "there he is, love", he pointed, walking in his direction.
Despite her initial confidence, Matilda felt shy as everyone's eyes landed on her and her father, cooing at the sight of them matching and the fact that little Norris had showed up, too.
"Hello, Matilda! How are you?", Sebastian asked, smiling at the duo as she retreated, hiding her face on his neck. Her backpack was open as Lando pulled the art pieces out.
"Didn't you want to give something to Sebastian, gorgeous girl?", Lando encouraged, kissing her cheek sweetly and giving her time.
"The bee one, daddy", Matilda whispered against his neck where she kept hhalf of her face hidden as Lando flickered the drawings, finding the one she meant.
"Is this for me? Thank you, Matilda, this is very nice!", Sebastian said warmly, making he little girl smile at him.
"Who's next?", Lando asked, "Charles, I made a drawing for him with a sea, because he lives in Monaco", she reasoned.
.
"And on the screens now we can see the McLaren garage this afternoon, where Lando Norris has his little one and his wife here this weekend!", Natalie said looking at the screen along with Naomi.
"That's true! Little Matilda has been in the paddock with her parents this whole weekend, and yesterday I had the privilege of seeing the cutest scene! She was hiding behind Lando's legs, but she kept holding some of the drawings until she found the people she wanted to give them to!", Naomi added, "she had one for Sebastian, for Charles, and she also shared some with the McLaren crew, too!
"And when I was interviewing Oscar this morning, Matilda walked closer to us and asked for his help to get the drawing she made of me - I have it right here, let me show you! - and this is the cutest thing ever! I have an orange suit - because of papaya, she said -, and my braids look so good with this glittery accent, see?", she showed Natalie as she nodded, "she's usually a very quiet little one, but she's an artist for sure. She takes after her mummy, so I've heard", she smiled into the camera.
"Yet, this morning, when me and the crew were deciding where to go first, we caught a father-daughter that made our hearts melt, take a look in the screens!", Natalie finished.
"Is it silly, Matilda?", Lando tried, seeing his daughter give him a full belly laugh as he drew a crocodile with rain boots, "crocodiles don't need rain boots, daddy! They can swim and walk all the same!", she giggled, delighting the people who were watching and hearing her laugh. "Well, maybe I should give him some floaties, too! Should I make him pink ones like yours?", he tried, earning another set of giggles out of his little girl.
#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#lando norris x you#f1 fluff
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I don't know if I have many teenagers following me, but if I do, I want to tell you a story.
Way back when I was in high school, more than half my age ago at this point, I did a politics class mostly because my other two classes were with the same teacher and if I took that one it meant I didn't have to leave the portable in the winter. Which gives you an idea of how seriously I took my education.
For extra credit, our teacher wanted us to attend a local city council candidate's meeting. And he wanted us to treat it like an old 1930s election campaign trail situation. Posters, candidate ribbons, noise makers, the works. Now, he was also bribing us with pizza for after and for a fair number of us that meant a free meal instead of having peanut butter on a spoon for dinner.
So four classes worth of twelfth graders rocked up at this thing armed with campaign slogans we'd made up for our chosen candidates, posters, one kid had a bunch of glow sticks. And we freaking roared whenever someone would step up to the podium to start their pitch.
And most of the politicians ate it up. These meetings usually got fifteen little old ladies looking for something to do on a Tuesday night. We outnumbered them. We were taking up the whole back half of the room. Most of us, that would be our first year eligible to vote, and I guess seeing us there lit a fire under them. It went from 'This year's holiday light display should be blue and white themed, all in favour?' to 'This town is pretty nice, but it could be better. Let's figure out how!' Instead of the meeting ending after the last speaker and everyone grabbing some sugar cookies and coffee, it turned into a question and answer period. They wanted to know what we wanted from them.
We discussed how our little town turning more and more into a bedroom community or commuter town meant that job opportunities were leaving. How that lack of prospects for us was contributing to the rate of drug use and suicide. The epidemic of teen pregnancies was costing so many young women their education because they were encouraged to drop out of school. And how we needed things to do that weren't just sitting in the mall food court.
Over the next few years, things started to happen. The community centres started doing career training programs. Everything from engine repair to nail technician. The adult learning centre had a class that was all young mothers getting their high school diplomas. They built a skate park. There were outdoor concerts and music events. The hockey rink and outdoor performance stage got fixed up. A pretty big company came along and brought tons of jobs with it and suddenly we had opportunities that weren't either a burger joint or shovelling icing in the cookie factory.
This is all a long, slightly rambling way to say that while voting is absolutely important, if you really want your voice heard, show up to meetings. Make some noise. Tell your elected officials what you need to thrive in your community. Especially if you're in a small town.
#politics#canadian politics#canada politics#small town politics#small town life#i am 100% serious about the icing shovelling
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Andy Warhol
Campbell's Soup Can
1964
#andy warhol#campbell’s soup can#chicken noodle#pop art#modern art#american art#commercial art#warhol factory#famous for fifteen minutes#american cuisine#art history#tumblrpic#tumblrpictures#tumblraesthetic#aesthetictumblr#tumblrstyle#tumblrlove#tumblr art#tumblrposts#modern aesthetic#artists on tumblr#1960s#the 60s
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Thanks, Boss
---
The idea of returning to work had been a looming dark cloud at the back of Kate's mind for the last month. Her maternity leave was over, which meant leaving her babies behind.
She had never expected quadruplets--who did, after all? But they had all been born healthy, and all with voracious appetites. Since the price of formula had sky-rocketed, she had had no choice but to nurse them and pump.
"Pump?" her mother had asked when she told her. "You mean there's still some left in there after feeding four kids?!"
It had been so hard to explain that her pregnancy had made her mammaries go absolutely haywire. In addition to expanding to exorbant proportions, they always seemed to be in hyper production mode when it came to milk.
It meant her massive breasts always felt incredibly full and heavy. During the day, it had been fine because she was able to nurse frequently, but the moment her babies went to sleep for the night, her breasts basically had to be pumped constantly or else she would leak all through the night.
She was no idea how she was going to make it through her first day back at work.
Sitting in her car in the lot, she listened to the hum of the pumps getting out as much milk as possible before she had to go into the office. She hadn't planned to pump before work, but as it was, the biggest bra she owned had started to overflow with her expanding cleavage on the drive in. So rather than let them leak through her shirt, Kate popped the pumps on, changing them to the highest setting.
She reached into the box where she'd stored the empty bottles to be used at the lunch time pumping session, only to find the box was empty. She whipped around, accidentally slamming one her her breast against the car horn.
How on earth was it only 8:50 AM, and she had managed to fill all fifteen bottles?
With a worry, she watched as the last of the bottles still attached to the pump filled up. She turned it off and capped the bottles, placing them with the others in the electric cooler sitting in her passenger side seat.
Though the pumping session--15 bottles worth!--had given her some relief, she knew it wouldn't last long; she certainly wasn't anywhere close to empty.
Kate got out of the car, doing her best to shove her uncooperative, swollen breasts back into a bra that still felt too small. She buttoned up her white shirt, ignoring the huge gaps between buttons her swollen chest caused.
She was just working on the last stubborn button when she heard a familiar voice.
"Jesus, Kate..."
She looked up to see her coworker Todd standing a foot from her, slack-jawed. Unsurprisingly, his gaze was transfixed to her huge cleavage.
Her face flushed, and in her embarrassment, the button popped completely off her shirt. "H-Hi..."
It took Todd a while to respond.
"You umm... damn... those are..." He picked his lips, keeping his gaze transfixed upon her breasts.
"I know. Pregnancy really changes your whole body..." Though it was true for a lot of women, the same couldn't be said about Kate. Her body had pretty much gone exactly back to the way it was, save for now basically being a milk factory.
Finally, Todd looked away, if only to adjust himself so that his erection wasn't as obvious. "Breastfeeding twins I guess, right?"
"Quadruplets."
"Jesus Christ..." he breathed. A red hue crept across his face, and he had to adjust himself again. "I mean, you already had huge tits. Now, you're like..." He snuck a look down at them again. "What, a J cup?"
If only.
"An M..."
He smirked and swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bouncing. "M for Mega Mommy Milkers I guess... come on, let's go. We'll be late."
---
Kate stood before everyone in the lunch room, her face ablaze. Her coworkers were all men, and every single one of their gazes was trained on her engorged breasts.
The only person who didn't make her feel uncomfortable was her boss, Nolan. Tall and quiet, it would have been easy to mistake him for shy or weak willed. But he ran the company like a tight ship.
"Please make Kate feel welcome back after her maternity leave." He smiled out at his workers. "And if anyone should need a refresher on our sexual harassment policy, I would be glad to assist."
Kate heaved a sigh of relief. He had always been a good boss, looking our for people, and now--
A button from her blouse shot from her shirt, shooting across the room. Another followed, and another as her breasts tried to burst from her top.
She scrunched her eyes shut, partially in pain from engorgement and partially because she didn't want to look at the drooling men in front of her anymore.
'I'm so fucking full of milk... I really need to pump...' she anguished in her head. Though she could feel her nipples ache for release, her break was so far away. Even if it wasn't, she had already used up all her empty bottles; where would she put all of it?
"Kate, why don't you come to my office for some privacy so you can pump?"
Nolan's deep timber was polite as always; he was such a sweet angel. Grabbing her bag with the pumps in it, she made her way from the lunch room to her boss's office. Her breasts swayed and sloshed this way and that with every step she took, milk dampening her teats.
"I'm so sorry," she confessed, sitting down on the couch in his office.
Without the buttons on her shirt, she knew he could see the blue veins on her massive mammaries that indicated how full she was. Even more so, she realized her bra barely fit anymore; more than half her areolas poked out from behind the bra's desperate attempt at coverage.
"It's fine. You're a new mother, it happens."
She beamed back at him. How lucky she was to have such an understanding boss. "Thank you..."
"I noticed you didn't bring any bottles in though." He ducked into the small closet deside the water cooler.
"Y-Yeah, I sort of... used them all up already..."
He emerged from the closet with two empty 5 gallon jugs normally used for water coolers. "Will these do? Ordinarily I would say they'd be overkill, but you do nurse quadruplets... You must produce an incredible amount of milk."
Kate was too grateful and relieved to pay much mind to the embarrassment. She took the giant jugs from him and placed them on each side of her on the couch as Nolan sat down at his desk.
But rather than stare at her expanding and near-bursting mammaries, he looked down at his laptop and worked.
He didn't even glance over when she hoisted her one breast out of the bra to hook the pump on. Soon, the room filled with the relaxing hums of the pumps working on overtime. Her milk drained into the water jugs as she leaned back on the couch and watched her broad shouldered boss work.
He was so calm, and made her feel so comfortable...
'I want him to put his babies in me.'
Her clit throbbed at the idea she never knew she could concoct. But as she continued watching him, the ache of her breasts slowly subsided.
Finally, after two hours, she felt something she'd never experienced before. She pulled the pump away, and her teat didn't even drip.
She was actually empty!
Cleaning her supplies up, she eyed the 5 gallon jugs that were both nearly filled to the brim. "I guess all that milk was really in me..."
Nolan looked up, and flashed her a smile that made her weak. "It's definitely a lot. Do you need to keep it for your babies?"
"N-No..." Despite the major pump session, she knew she would be full by the time she got home. "Do you want me to dump it, or--"
Nolan got to his feet and placed a cap on one of the jugs. Removing the old one from the water cooler, he placed the uncapped one in its place. The machine made air bubbles pop to the surface of the milk as it seaped downward. With a flick of his finger on the trigger, Nolan filled a paper cup up with milk.
He raised it to her, smiling. "Cheers."
---
🐮❤���
#breast expansion#lactation kink tw#tw lactation kink#massive breasts#smut#huge natural melons#huge cleavage#mommy milkers#writing#big tiddy committee
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osctober day fifteen
prompt: impasse pairing: lando/oscar word count: 400w
“Alright,” Horner says, sliding the contract across the table at Oscar. “That’s the deal. Agreed to by both parties. All you need to do is sign.”
Oscar takes the contract, and the pen – Red Bull branded – and stares down at the piece of paper that could change his future, his pen hovering about the ‘sign here’ part.
There’s two paths from here. He either signs the contract and becomes Red Bull new golden boy, becomes their sole focus the way Max was for years, becomes the star. No more ‘we have no first driver’ bullshit where everyone secretly knew that there is and that it is Lando. No more Hungary’s, no more Papaya rules.
Or, he doesn’t sign. He doesn’t sign, and then other vultures will start circling. He will say loyal to McLaren, to Lando, but will they stay loyal to him? He saw Lando the other day, when exiting the Red Bull Factory. He’s talking too. They all are. Who doesn’t want the chance to win all those WDC’s?
But they chose him. They chose him first. It curls in his gut, this knowledge, an ugly kind of satisfaction he hates himself for feeling. They want him.
Red Bull is not McLaren. They’re cutthroat. If he doesn’t deliver, he’s out. But if he does.
And Lando. Lando will. Lando will live. He’s. Oscar has always known they would move on from each other eventually. They were never going to be more than stolen kisses in abandoned hallways and rushed hand jobs in unfamiliar hotel rooms. They were never meant to last.
Right?
For a moment Oscar lets himself dream. Dream of a future where it’s him and Lando, on top of the world, together, in all the ways they could be. Where he takes Lando out on dates, where they kiss in public, where they race together in stupidly fast cars.
If he signs this, he doesn’t know if Lando will ever forgive him. If he signs this, all of that will be over.
But. But if he signs this, he will have a chance at glory, at greatness. A chance McLaren never gave him.
Oscar’s pen keeps hovering. From the corner of the room, Mark watches on with a blank expression on his face.
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:)
Under the cut to read on tumblr, here to read on Ao3 <3
I'll commit your every scar to my memory rosquez, 6k words
(set 2025)
Marc has been looking at himself in the mirror for twenty minutes now.
Inspecting for every micro feature which signaled he was getting older.
He doesn’t want to get older, he can’t.
All his career, his success had come when he was a kid and he had been nicknamed “alien” for it goddamnit.
youngest pole sitter, youngest podium finisher, youngest winner, youngest champion.
key word being young.
he doesn't feel old, but older, god yes. Everyday.
A new source of pain coming out, an old one resurfacing, the fear of falling behind, of not fitting in anymore and of running out of time.
All present and heavy on his body, which took the hit every time.
Why he thinks that, he isn’t sure.
But he feels like he must get everything now or it will all have been useless.
It’s been one year now since he and Vale reconciled, and nine months since they made their relationship official, but only to intimate friends and their families, since Marc was still a target in the paddock, and they both knew that having a gay relationship wasn’t exactly the greatest thing to share in a sport like theirs.
And while the respective families had reacted well (except for a bit of skepticism on Alex’s side) the Academy had been more bitter, especially Uccio, but it was to be expected since he is so obviously in love with Vale since the dawn of time.
The mirror in their room at the Ranch keeps reflecting his toned and muscled body, along with his freshly shaved face and regrowing curls.
If he has to be honest he isn’t the one who brought up the aging thing.
First Vale, at his birthday, after he was officially a Ducati factory rider for that year, telling him he was “growing up”, getting closer to 35.
And it terrified Marc.
Then his brother, joking about him retiring so that he could be the only Marquez on the grid “haste que tu y Mr doctor creéis un hijo con magia y aterroricen a MotoGP” (Until you and Mr Doctor will create a son with magic and terrorize MotoGP)
And finally Bezzecchi two weeks ago.
He was talking to Celestino, to which he seemed glued to the hip, almost symbiotic, as if they only existed one attached to the other.
“Sta invecchiando comunque, magari Vale con i gusti per i più piccoli che ha se ne trova uno più giovane e meno sfasciato” (He’s aging by the way, maybe Vale with his taste for younger people will find a younger and less broken one)
“Sei un coglione Marco dai” (Marco you’re a dickhead come on)
“Dico la verità, magari tra una settimana ci porta un ragazzetto di 20 anni che lo guarda con gli occhi a cuoricino e che non sia mezzo pieno di cicatrici” (I’m saying the truth, maybe in a week the he’ll come to us with a 20 year old boy who looks at him heart-eyed and who’s not half covered in scars)
“Immagini? Tanta fatica e poi se ne sbatte un altro”
(Can you imagine? So much trouble and he ends up fucking another guy)
“Sarebbe karma” (Would be karma)
Marc had been hidden behind the door throughout the whole conversation, and a wave of nausea and vomit overwhelmed him, causing him to rush silently to the toilet and throw up.
Maybe they were right.
He was getting older, Vale had said that himself, joking about his smile lines.
He had started exercising even more, buying more products for skincare and trying to act like he was 20 again.
And suddenly he didn’t feel pretty anymore, he just wanted to ride a couple laps on the dirt track and forget about it.
He looks at himself one last time, not failing to notice the faint line of a wrinkle in the corner of his eyes staring right back at him, menacing.
He puts on his gear, ignoring everyone in the kitchen and heading straight for the track, grabbing the bike with the bright orange “93” plastered on front.
It’s the best way to shut his mind off, it’s just him and the track, the bike being a direct extension of his body.
He completes ten, twelve, fifteen laps then he slips, bike flying out of his hands and his body tumbling down in the dirt.
His arm hurts, but his brain aches more.
Finished finished finished.
He goes to grab the bike to climb on it again when he feels a pair of arms around his body. Vale.
“Are you ok Marc? Do I need to grab your painkillers? I’ll help you back on the bike if-” the older one gets cut off harshly by Marc, who has pain in his eyes
“I can still do things Valentino you know?”
He's angry, his tone bitter and his words harsh.
He’s not like that and Vale knows, he’s tender when they speak, they’ve hurt each other way too much already to be cruel to one another now.
Vale has a concerned expression painted on his face, his eyes quickly running to Marc’s right arm, then to his face again.
“Let me get up”
“Ok but-“
“I want to do some other laps let me do them”
it’s not a plea, or a begging, his voice is resolute and firm.
Vale is visibly worried, but lets him.
He looks as Marc gets back on the bike and restarts, the corner of his eyes caught by Bezz and Celin giggling between themselves.
Marc gets off the bike after one hour, when his body cannot take it anymore and his brain is foggy enough with thoughts about breaking, turning, speeding.
He leaves the bike in the garage, stripping out of his leathers, the only clothing underneath a sleeveless adherent black top, half dirty from soil and grass.
And just when he was convinced to have sedated the thoughts for at least a good few hours his eyes trace the outline of his scar, dead tissue on his arm.
He goes to their bedroom bathroom quickly, to avoid more sensations to overwhelm him, getting into the shower and turning the hot water on, letting it rinse away scenarios where he’s not present in Vale’s future. He spends at least twenty minutes under the water, washing himself carefully and almost trying to clean away the scars littering his body, obviously without succeeding.
As he gets out of the bathroom he’s only wearing a towel around his hips, and he inevitably meets his reflection staring back at him from the mirror.
He wants so desperately to see the 20 year old wonderkid he used to be, but that’s his past. Marc knows time passes for everyone, it takes from you, sometimes more than it should, sometimes it’s harsher on your body and sometimes on your soul.
He isn’t fucking eighty he knows that but still. He’s grown. He’s not the starstruck kid Vale first met and with whom shared many nights during their rivalry.
He’s a grown man now, he looks different, he can see the tiredness in his own eyes, pain sometimes so much it eats his body whole, the same pain which has him stay awake some nights.
And he knows Vale is older than him but Vale is also Vale and no one in their right mind would ever question his capacities or greatness, not even if he was 90.
And like Bezzecchi said he had a taste for youngsters, full of life and ready to do whatever he said as if it was a command.
He used to be one of those, but now…
He hears his name getting called downstairs for dinner, yells back he’s getting dressed and will soon be there.
He avoids the mirror while changing, his body feels wrong every time he tries to look at it, his face transpires the worry sleeping in his chest.
They all eat together, Pecco is there too, he’s getting used to sharing spaces with his future teammate which is good, but Bezzecchi is there too, casting funny glances at his best friend making them both giggle while sometimes looking over at Marc. He speaks maybe four words during the whole dinner, his brain feeling like it’s underwater and needs to be saved from drowning into the abyss.
As they finish eating he helps clean up the table and when he’s proposed to stay and watch a movie he fakes a headache, heading upstairs and leaving the academy to enjoy their time.
Not even two minutes later he’s in his boxers under the sheets, back turned to the glassy hell his mirror has become.
He hears the door opening and quiet steps making their way to him.
“Ei amore, everything ok?”
Vale’s tone is tender and caring, something which only surfaced once they reconciled, a side of Vale making him humane, not the cold and distant concept of a God Marc still had in the back of his mind.
It was good in a way, but on the other hand it made him feel weak, like he needed to be spoken softly otherwise he would’ve broken like glass.
“Si, I’m a bit tired and have a headache, can we just…can we just sleep?”
It was the most obvious of the answers, the fakest one, and yet the only one he could give him at that moment.
Valentino nods, taking off his shirt and pants and climbing into bed, Marc laying his head on Vale’s stomach, feeling the man’s hand stroke his curls gently.
Valentino is tired too, he had to follow an event all day and close a contract for VR46, he falls asleep in a half hour, while Marc has his eyes wide open in the darkness of a night lightened only by a pale moon in the distant sky.
He hears his mind speaking again, telling him how he’s not himself anymore, he’s not what Vale wants and he’s not the best Vale can have, because afterall he is THE Valentino Rossi and everyone wants a piece of him and Vale could feel entitled to request a piece of every one just because of who he is.
You’re not the one Vale deserves.
He could have them younger, prettier, faster, better.
He could have someone he can be seen with, with someone he could bring to races and shit like it was normal to do.
He could have someone who didn’t try to fight him so hard back then.
A new rookie maybe, fast, magnetic, idolizing him.
Vale would have every right to just let him go to find someone who doesn’t look so broken, who doesn’t risk getting more and more broken every week.
Perhaps he wants children.
And well for how much you can adopt kids maybe, no surely, Vale wants his kid to look and be like him.
Marc doesn’t cry, but just because he’s too afraid of waking Vale up, and surely seeing him acting so pathetic would be the last straw Vale would need to leave him and go find someone else.
So he doesn’t, he cries a lot internally, he tries to trace every mole on Valenitno’s body because he’s so afraid that in a matter of time he’ll be unable to see him like this again.
or feel the heat of his body next to his own.
Afraid to wake up without the smell of his shampoo or go to sleep missing the pair of arms that are holding him at this moment.
He manages to fall asleep after more than an hour, thoughts feasting on his brain like worms on a carcass, the same word echoing endlessly in his mind.
useless
He wakes up to an empty bed, no sign of Valentino in the room whatsoever, and he imagines his life could become like this in a matter of time.
He doesn’t understand how those little comments managed to get under his skin so much, he had never been the one to take those things to heart because…
because he had never actually believed any of that shit talk before.
But now he’s the first one to think that, the first to indulge on it.
He can feel a sense of inadequacy crawling in bed with him, wrapping his hands around his throat and slowly depriving him of the chance to breathe.
It’s burning and it hurts like hell, it’s ugly.
He scrambles to the bathroom, throwing up bent over the toilet, coughing and sniffing like during the worst hangover of his life.
He can make out rushed steps coming to the door, Valentino crouching down to level himself with Marc, stroking his hair and back, worry painted in his eyes.
“Marc, do you want me to get you something? Are you ok?”
Weak, undeserving, not enough
That fuckin voice doesn’t shut up goddamnit, it haunts his mind and poisons everything coming in close contact with him.
What if it can poison Vale?
What if by standing so close to Marc he’ll end up being corrupted by this voice?
No no no, he’d rather suffer alone and watch Vale be happy with someone else rather than seeing him hurting.
Because that’s what Marc is when it comes to who he loves.
Selfless, adoring and ready to let go, because he knows he’s not an easy person to put up with so he never pushes.
“No I’m ok I just didn’t digest dinner well that’s all”
“Marc”
“I told you it was yesterday’s dinner Vale, I’m already feeling better, see?”
And he smiles, the fake PR smile Vale has seen hundreds of times, he could recognise Marc’s true smile in a crowd full of people, his laugh in a room filled with clowns and most of all he could recognise Marc hurting in a massacre.
His eyes are lifeless, a veil of something trapping the joy and happiness inside, not letting them see the sun.
“Marc tell me what’s going on because you’re not ok and I am not letting you leave the room until you’ve told me what’s happening”
“I decide if I can get out of the room or not Vale, you’re not my mom, I told you i’m ok so let me go thank you”
Vale wants to stop him but he knows it would be worse, Marc would shut down and respond robotically to questions he dreads to know the real answer to.
“Marc. I won’t force you ok? But please tell me what’s going on, you look-”
“I know what I look like there’s no need to tell me”
Marc thinks of old, spent, expired, outdated.
All different words to mean only one thing.
undesirable.
And weak.
He fucking threw up in front of Vale, he almost had tears in his eyes, he had to come up with his fake smile he knew Vale would recognise, he’s so fucking stupid god how can he act like that and hope to still have a chance in keeping Vale.
He gets past him, putting on a pair of joggers and a short sleeved shirt of his and walks out the room, grabbing his biker boots and protective jacket by the entrance and putting them on, ignoring the boys sitting in the living room looking at him with curiosity.
Probably he yelled before, and they heard him.
Amazing.
He slams the door shut behind him and goes to grab his street bike.
Once he’s put the helmet on he’s alone.
Truly alone.
No other voices or sounds, not even the one in his head.
It’s quiet, like one of the earliest nights he remembers sharing with Valentino, the one in Aragon perhaps, or the many in between races when they could wander off in one of Vale’s secret spots and share everything, even the silence.
He starts the bike and goes for a ride, a long one, he didn’t bring his phone with him so he doesn't know how long precisely.
He comes back home once he’s hungry and beginning to feel tired.
Once again he doesn’t dwell on the academy boys watching him, he can only imagine what they’re saying.
He doesn’t let the thoughts come to him this time though, he just heads straight for the shower and gets ready for lunch.
Vale is an amazing cook, he prepared something that smells delicious, but Marc can’t eat more than half a plate before already feeling nauseous.
He eats everything anyway, he doesn’t want to upset Vale more, so he forces every fork until he clears the plate.
“Vale” it’s Bezzecchi’s voice, he has a strange tone to it “how’s Pedro? didn’t you say he should come to the ranch soon? To see what he’s capable of off track?”
Marc doesn’t want to suppose things, but the way he says the last sentence sends shivers down his spine
20, fast, starstruck by Vale, not half covered in scars.
Check, check, check, check.
The qualities Bezzecchi talked about a few weeks prior are all part of Pedro.
Marc excuses himself from the table for the second time in a row, feeling bad about doubting Vale but also not holding him responsible if that came up to be the case.
He had said it himself he was now the past of MotoGP, and Pedro the future.
Bezzecchi cackles from the table, Celestino elbows him in his ribcage, earning a harsh stare from his friend.
Vale just sits at the table, looking in the direction Marc had disappeared to, trying to understand what was going on with his boyfriend, because he truly has no idea and is scared something had happened outside of the peace of the Ranch, maybe someone finding out about them and threatening Marc to reveal their relationship to the public.
He decides to leave him alone for a while, maybe he’s just not used to having all these people around all the time and needs his space, a moment alone to quiet down his brain.
He spends the afternoon with the boys, racing around the track, checking and analyzing data and talking about Bezz’s newfound harmony with Aprilia.
The clock hits eight pm and they’re all hungry as hell, so the boys quickly make their way to the bedrooms to take their showers and change, since they also decided to go out tonight for a party held by one of Bezz’s DJ friends.
Meanwhile Marc had stayed in the room the whole time, spending half of it crying his eyes out because he couldn’t stop thinking about what if Valentino actually decided to break up with him again and the feeling of emptiness he would feel eventually.
The other half he spent it trying to understand how to make himself look younger for Vale, which clothes to wear, how to act, to talk, to lie when his arm hurt while they were having sex.
Fucking pathetic
He wishes he could tear his brain outside of his skull, anything not to hear that sharp voice commenting his every move and look, he just wants the world inside his mind to shut the hell up and leave him be, at least for a few hours, just that.
A few hours where he doesn’t have to worry about being abandoned by the one person he loves more than life.
A few hours where he can love himself again.
But his brain doesn’t concede him neither those few hours, it’s a machine programmed to drive him insane, unstoppable.
Vale knocks on the door, he recognises their passcode, never changed during all those years spent together.
“Dinner is in five minutes, are you coming?”
“Yes yes, just let me get dressed and I’ll be there”
“Ok, see you downstairs amore”
It cuts deep, the bug whispering in his ear the word amore is just a way to keep him close for need, not driven by real feelings.
He comes down two minutes later, a simple pair of shorts and a t-shirt he stole from Vale not so long ago, still smelling like him.
He smiles softly at the man, sitting beside him, across Pecco, who greets him with a nod.
The boys eat in a rush, not speaking a word, apparently they were supposed to meet some other guys by nine and they’re never going to make it on time.
They practically absorb their food and are out the door in twenty minutes, in Luca’s car off to the bar they set as a rendez-vous point.
And so he and Vale are left alone.
He doesn't know how long it’s been since the last time they were completely alone, not even that annoying guard dog of Uccio staining the environment.
“You’re really beautiful tonight amore”
Lie
“My shirt looks really pretty on you, makes you look smaller”
He doesn’t actually like it
“Want to go upstairs?”
He just needs a release, not you.
“Yeah sure” he’s convincing, Vale doesn’t seem to notice his body twitching when his fingers touch his arm.
They reach their bedroom, Vale guiding Marc towards the bed, hands running under the stolen shirt to go catch on his abs, fingers looking for a strong grip.
They share a sweet kiss, nothing like the ones shared after their battles on track, quick, charged and filled with need.
Marc knows Vale wants those back, not these ones, too plain and domestic for him to ever like.
So he tries to pull the switch, biting at Vale’s lip, pressing himself against him, backing up until his body is caged between the wall and Valentino, who looks rather surprised at the sudden change of attitude.
“Fuck me Vale come on” it feels dirty, demanding, but that was exactly like he was back then, and he so desperately needs to feel like that again.
Vale’s lips are on his neck, biting and sucking hard, matching Marc’s tone.
It’s not what he wants, it’s what Vale wants.
And that is enough for him, he’ll just try to enjoy what was probably going to be one of the last nights together, and he didn’t want Valentino to resent him for it too.
He’ll just have to relax, think about Vale’s happiness and take it.
After one particularly harsh bite he winces, but so quickly Vale cannot register it while dragging him to bed.
The grip on his wrist is strong, possessive, needy.
It’s what Vale wants, stop being fucking selfish and let him have it.
The voice is right, he cannot be selfish and wish for Vale to stick around out of pity.
He needs to earn his lover back, who cares if he has to do things he doesn’t want to do?
In the end it’s all for love.
He lets Valentino undress him, sharp teeth attacking his nipple, making him moan loudly, he’s exaggerating a bit his actions but it’s for a good cause.
He keeps repeating to himself this is ok to do, he really wants to please Vale, it’s not bad, he used to like the sharpness and rush of adrenaline that came with battling on track so why should this be different?
He feels Vale’s hand cupping him through his boxers and he thrusts his hips up, eyes closed and hands gripping both on Vale’s hair and back, keeping him there.
“You smell so good Marc, never going to let you go”
And that’s where Marc loses his battle with himself.
He tries to keep it in but a sob comes out anyway, a tear rolling out of his eye and ending up on the pillow underneath his head.
And Vale knows Marc. He knows the difference between a sob due to pleasure and this.
This is not Marc enjoying it so much he cries, this is Marc not enjoying it at all.
He stops, getting up and sitting in front of Marc who has his eyes closed, hands balled into fists and his mouth shut in a rigid and thin line.
He’s fucked it up, he let his own feelings ruin everything again.
He doesn’t want to look at Vale, to see the disappointment and displeasure which surely the older has in his eyes right now.
He can’t bear to see how pathetic he is in Valentino’s eyes.
You ruined it for him, good job.
His head echoes with this thought, he was almost there, so close to faking it perfectly but he had to fucking cry.
He didn’t even cry in front of Vale when he told the world he hated him and he should be off the sport, but he cries for this.
“Marc?” Valentino’s voice is filled with something, it sounds like concern, fear almost.
“Marc, would you open your eyes?” no he can’t he fucking can’t because they’re filled with tears that are just going to spill out if he does, he doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want Vale to see him weak and scarred and broken.
“Amore please, what’s going on? Did I hurt you? I’m sorry if I did just please open your eyes and tell me”
There, now Vale even thinks it’s his own fault, amazing, really fucking amazing, another step towards separation.
Vale is so fucking worried right now, Marc is practically crying in front of him, trying to hold his tears in to seem tough but his body is shivering and his lips already trembling.
If he seriously went overboard and hurt him he’s going to punch himself in the face, he would never want to wound Marc.
“Amore?” It sounds like a plea, and it is, he’s begging for an answer, because he has to know what he’s done wrong.
Was he too harsh? Too demanding? Did he hurt his arm? How many possible things may he have done wrong?
Marc gathers what little forces he has left and props himself up, sitting on the bed and opening his eyes, but he doesn’t look at Vale.
He wouldn’t be able to see him even if he wanted to, tears clouding his vision and falling on the bed.
Vale grabs the shirt he discarded earlier on the bed, the one with a wrinkled 46 printed in front in a now not so bright yellow font.
“You’re shivering Marc put this on, you’ll get sick if you don’t” he lets Vale dress him, he feels like he doesn’t have control on his body and it makes him go insane.
He always needs to have control, otherwise how can he handle reality?
He finally manages to look up at Vale, and the man can see the pain rooted deep into his stare, and he aches.
He aches because how could he not notice how much Marc was truly hurting? His eyes look like the ones he had back in 2014, after the press conference where he first broke his heart.
God that stare, the haunted gaze he had that day, it will haunt him forever.
A kid, he was a kid and he managed to kill him.
And now he looks like that kid again. Confused, hurt, crushed and dead.
“I-I’m sorry I ruined it Vale, I didn’t mean to I-” he stops, a hiccup interrupting his words “I can’t I’m not what you need right now and I get it” What was he saying? What does he mean not what Vale needed? He is everything Vale needs and way more than what he deserves.
“I just…I thought I could at least still let you have this but I can’t even fucking bring myself to ignore myself for this while”
Vale is so confused right now, because he doesn’t understand. Why is Marc talking like he’s going to fucking die in a minute? Why should he ignore himself?
He has so many questions but he cannot even pose one, his lips sealed by incredulity.
And Marc on the other hand feels like he isn’t even deserving of an answer, he wants to scream and cry and beg Vale for a chance, but he doesn’t.
Finally Vale manages to speak up, the feeling of instability being suppressed by the need to understand what was killing Marc’s mind.
“Marc, what are you saying? let me have what? you didn’t ruin everything and what’s with the 'I'm not what you need’ thing?”
It looks so real to Marc now, the concern and the preoccupation radiating from Vale.
You failed him, you just had to shut up and endured and you fai-
For the first time this week he manages to shut the voice up, sending it back to the hell it came from long enough to be aware of the fact Vale really cares about him.
He breaks down, crying in front of the man he loves for the first time.
It’s ugly and messy, and he’s fuckinging exhausted, he wants to hold Vale, he wants to be held by him, he needs to feel at home.
And even if he doesn’t say that explicitly Vale gets it, he throws his arms around the boy, keeping him there for a while, not bothering to check how long, he places him on his lap, Marc’s ruffled hair tickling his neck as he continues sobbing into his collarbone, shoulders shivering at every sound.
He gets his head up from Vale’s neck, and fixes his gaze on Vale’s.
“Please Vale promise me you won’t leave me for someone younger and prettier, because I know you could do that anytime if you wanted because you deserve it but please don’t, I know I’m not beautiful like before and that I’m broken now and that you should be with someone who doesn’t hurt himself every week and I know I can’t do what I did before in bed but I swear I’ll try to do it again, and and I get it you could have anyone because you’re you but I only want you please please I love you I can’t let you go I need to be with you I know it’s so pathetic and dumb but I beg of you don’t leave me”
He rushes his words out, one attached to the other not caring anymore if he sounds weak, his face is now completely wet with tears and Vale’s shirt is soaked as well, but he doesn’t care, it feels like he let go of an enormous weight and is finally free.
Vale's answer comes like a helping hand to a drowning person, the hand that grabs yours and drags you out of the angry waves keeping you underwater, your lungs burning.
“Marc I- I don’t even know where to start I mean…why would I ever leave you if you’re the best thing I ever got the chance to have in my life? Why would I need someone younger when I have you and how could I want someone prettier when no one’s more perfect than you?
You’re right you’re not as beautiful as before, you’re far more breathtaking now, and you’re everything but broken, do you think that just because you fell and injured yourself you aren’t attractive to me anymore? Those scars symbolize you never giving up. They are one of the most attractive things you have, amore.
Marc I don’t care if we cannot have that rushed sex we used to have when we raced together, I love what we do now, I adore it, I feel much more connected to you, back then it was adrenaline and desire, now it’s love and need, I wouldn’t trade it for any sum on money in the world you must know this, I would never want to hurt you or force you to have sex with me if it hurts you, ok?
And I don’t fucking care I am who I am, or the fact I could have anyone else because
I. have. you.
And you’re the only one I want or need or dream about sharing my life with, you get it?
I love you Marc Marquez and I’ll be damned if I let these thoughts get to you and make you act like that.
I’m never going to leave unless you want me to, because I already left once and I hurt you and myself and I cannot go through it again.
It was the worst period of my life because I looked for you every night and you weren’t there, because of me.
I should be the on worrying about you leaving me because of what I did, never never never the opposite”
And now Vale is crying too, his eyes holding onto Marc’s gaze like his life depends on it, like he needs an answer to breathe again, because he too feels like he’s drowning and being brought to safety by his lover.
“You still love me? You swear?” It sounds so feeble and desperate Vale wants to open his chest with his bare hands and gift Marc his heart as proof of his love, because the only way he could doubt his love for him would be Vale not showing it enough, not doing everything the boy needed to feel loved.
“Of course I still love you Marc, I never stopped, and I never will, I want to share my whole life with you, you are my star and I will never let you say those things about yourself again, got it?”
“Even if I’m older now? I’ve got scars and lines and I look-”
“You look perfect. Listen I know I said I don’t believe in therapy and all that shit but I just- it’s just I didn’t like what they told me there and I decided to shit on it, but it actually helped me realize I still loved you and if you need to go there to understand how much I love you I’ll pay for it, I’ll bring you to your appointments and I’ll accept whatever outcome you get from it”
It feels good now, to Marc. It’s like he got dragged out of a stormy ocean onto a tropical beach, sunny, warm, quiet and calm.
Quiet.
No wretched voice demonizing or belittling him, just Vale, the only other presence on his dream beach, so close to him he can feel their hearts beating in unison.
He locks his fingers with Vale’s, a soft smile forming on his lips.
“Yeah I- I want to go, because I don’t want to feel like this again, I need to free my mind. Do you understand me? It’s so full it feels like it’s going to explode”
Yes, Vale knows. He’s gone through it more than he likes to admit, and he just nods, pulling Marc even closer, pressing a sweet kiss on his forehead, feeling the boy relax under his touch.
Marc tilts his head, looking up at Vale, and goes to plant a soft kiss on the man’s lips.
No rush, no lust, nothing except deep love and trust, a feeling of peace hovering over the couple who drifts to sleep together, Marc being able to dream of a beautiful snippet of his life with Vale, them together at the Ranch, not worrying anymore about hiding because Marc is retired and nobody will say anything, Stitch and Shira running after a kid with big blue eyes in the garden, the academy boys discussing who’s the favorite uncle.
Marc and Valentino holding hands, Marc’s head on Vale’s shoulder as they look at the little girl laughing, playing with the dogs and the grass.
It’s domestic, soft, and quiet.
So quiet.
The only sound being the laughter coming from their friends and families and the dogs panting behind the buzzing girl.
She looks like Vale.
She calls him and Marc picks her up, she smiles, they’re happy.
There’s no need to worry anymore, Vale never left him, Marc neither, they went through Marc’s insecurities together, they didn’t let go of eachother.
In the real world Valentino is smiling, putting Marc to bed, covering him with their sheets, dreaming of the same thing.
A life, a future with Marc.
#alice writes#my fic <3#rosquez#angst#lots of angst#tw throwing up#tw self hate#tw intrusive thoughts#marc marquez#valentino rossi#bezz#celin#pecco#vr46 riders academy#motogp fic#motogp rpf
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It's not fair that I can't use a cool train to get to another city. Sometimes I don't want to drive, or I want to read on the way, or I want to get hammered on the snack lady's cart full of overpriced novelty alcohol. Or, in most cases, it's that my car simply is unlikely to make it without exploding into some sort of Slinky-like arrangement of twisted metal and flaming fluids.
In this particular case, I wanted to buy another hooptie from the adjacent city. It is almost always the case that the desirable shitboxes crop up in the next town over, possibly because I've factory-farmed to extinction all the ones here. It would be silly to drive a car there, only to leave it behind so I could drive the new car back. And all of my friends are tired of my shit, as "give me a ride" often turns into "slowly pace me on the secondary highway for a couple hours while I stop every fifteen minutes to fix something that fell off."
Self-driving cars can't do that, either, because the United Nations decided that it was tantamount to torture to make them watch me do this to their fellow mechanical citizens. Yeah, tell that shit to my dentist, you Volkswagen-loving apparatchiks. Again, a train would be the perfect option, but it doesn't exist, so I have to use the inter-city bus line. That's great: nice and cheap, and it eventually departs and eventually arrives if you're not too worried about when "eventually" is. There's just one big problem.
You see, a bus uses an internal-combustion engine. Don't worry, I'm not going to get all "spinning magnets are the best" on you, I've blown up enough starters and alternators to make a mechanical engineer shit his pants and emotionally regress to preschool. This means that I feel compelled to operate the vehicle. Bus drivers do not like it when you do their job for them, so I spend the entire time biting my hands, trying not to floor the throttle and steer wildly into the left lane. While this is not atypical for bus passengers, it is considered incredibly rude.
As a result, I pretty much just end up playing car-racing videogames on my phone. This doesn't relax me in the least, mostly because Asphalt: Urban GT 2 for the Nokia N-Gage doesn't let you repair rust. How can you trust a car if you can't try to jack it up through the floorboard?
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Anywhere but here
You wake from a traumatic injury to find everything around you isn't the same.
Pairing: Jimin x F! reader
Rating: 18+
Genre: Nurse Jimin, smut, angst
Word count: 7.2k
Warnings: Swearing, sex, traumatic injury, hospitals, memory loss
When you wake, it’s like you’ve been reset to factory settings. You’re not a robot, but there was a you before, and now there’s a you after.
The accident cut your life into halves, and that’s the reality that you’ve been dealt.
The people around you are nameless faces apart from your family. Your parents, your younger sister and a man you don’t know but he says he knows you.
You can’t imagine what it’s like for them to lose the woman that was the old you and pick up the new you, metalwork in your thigh and a scar along the back of your head that they gave you an uneven choppy haircut to fix.
You don’t have the headspace to try and remember the names of everyone else who cares for you.
There’s the slim woman with a ponytail and kind eyes who always smiles cheerfully when she greets you.
There’s the stern looking older woman who never smiles but has gentle hands.
And then there’s the young guy who looks like he belongs in a magazine who you find a little intimidating, to be honest.
The brain injury means you take longer to process, sometimes you know what you want to say but the words won’t come. It’s annoying but you’re assured it will get better.
More pressing is the frame on your leg from where you broke your femur in multiple places. It took you a while to get used to trying to get around on crutches without help, because there was no way you were going to ask the young guy to help you to the bathroom.
You don’t think there’s anything left of your dignity but you’ve got some pride still.
You’re sitting awkwardly on your bed, listening to the man you don’t know but who seems to know you, trying to shift positions because your leg is singing a chorus of pain, when the young male nurse walks into the room wheeling a portable blood pressure monitor.
‘Time for some observations,’ he says, politely.
You take the opportunity to move into the chair and hold out your arm.
The nurse frowns a little. ‘Your blood pressure and heart rate are up. Are you in pain?’
‘A bit,’ you admit, an understatement.
‘I’ll get you pain relief,’ he says.
It’s another fifteen minutes before he comes back with the meds, another fifteen minutes after that before you can draw a breath.
The man who you don’t know but you’re told you used to love is telling you about people you don’t know, and it’s not nearly distracting enough.
When he leaves you want to cry with relief.
The door to your room opens, the nurse walks in. He checks on the IV that’s running, you hold out your arm because that’s the routine.
As he disconnects the drip, he turns to you.
‘There’s a call bell,’ he points out. ‘If you’re in pain don’t wait, just call and one of us will come.’
‘Thank you,’ you say. You’re wrung out, emotionally exhausted, physically stretched, and all you want to do is pull the covers over your head and be alone.
You’re never physically alone in hospital, there’s no fucking privacy, and somehow you feel lonely anyway.
***
The calendar on the wall orientates you to the day and month, and you’re not so bad that you can’t remember the year.
It’s your birthday today they say, another year older even though you’ve gone nothing but backwards since the accident.
Your family bring you cake, fluffy slippers, and love that makes you feel warm. The man, you know he’s called Taemin, that you were about to marry him, why do you think of him as ‘the man’ in your head?
He calls you sweetheart and you think he means it less and less every day.
Today he kisses you, lips on yours and you weren’t expecting it, weren’t ready.
He pulls away, a flicker in his eyes that looks like disappointment that you see before he can hide it.
You want to say that it’s not fair, that you can’t be expected to be the person you were before, but the words don’t come.
You stammer an apology, make it worse.
You only feel relief when he leaves.
Lately they’ve been letting you wheel yourself down to the restaurant, out to the front of the hospital.
It’s tiring, but it’s nice to be out of your room.
You press the call bell, and the male nurse comes in.
He looks rushed, busy, but he’s already here so you might as well ask.
‘Can I borrow a wheelchair to go downstairs?’
He says, ‘yes, of course. It’ll take me a while because it’s quite busy at the moment, but I’ll try and bring one up when I can.’
You thank him and settle in by the window to wait.
The late afternoon sun turns into early dusk, and he doesn’t come back.
You’re getting ready to manoeuvre yourself back into bed when there’s a knock at your door.
It’s the male nurse, dressed in his street clothes instead of scrubs.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘It got so busy, I completely forgot.’
You look at the wheelchair he’s handling.
‘Would you still like to go?’ he asks.
‘Yeah,’ you say. You’re worried you sound desperate but you’ve been cooped up in your room all day and you want to go out even if you don’t get to see daylight.
He helps you into the chair. The ID badge tucked under his jacket says ‘Jimin.’
You try to commit it to what remains of your memory.
‘Jimin,’ you say, hoping that saying it will make it stick.
‘Y/N,’ he replies, giving you a smile that makes his eyes scrunch up.
‘Were you on your way home?’ you ask.
‘Yeah,’ he says.
‘Thank you for this,’ you say. You put your hand on his arm, and he moves it away so quickly it’s hard not to feel stung.
‘Sorry,’ you say, putting your hands in your lap.
He’s quiet as he pushes you to the lifts.
‘I can push myself,’ you tell him. ‘You should go home, it’s past your shift.’
‘I’m heading down anyway,’ he replies, very politely.
You sneak a glance at his profile as the lift descends.
He’s pretty, even fourteen hours into a thirteen hour shift. His nose is straight, lips full, and his skin glows like it’s lit from within.
You catch a glance at yourself in the mirrored wall. Your uneven hair that you’re still growing out makes you grimace.
You look down at your lap quickly.
‘Are you ok?’ he asks.
You force a smile. ‘I know the docs saved my life, but they ruined my hair,’ you say, trying to make a joke of it.
Jimin’s quiet again.
‘I was joking,’ you say, quickly. ‘I’m grateful for everything.’
Thankfully, the lift doors open.
‘Good night,’ you say, smiling at him.
He asks,’will you be ok?’
‘Yes,’ you say. Wild horses couldn’t drag any other answer from you.
He looks at you for a moment longer, then he nods and turns to leave.
***
Physical therapists are demons in disguise, you think disgruntledly to yourself as today’s therapist tries to encourage you to get out of the chair.
Your thigh is screaming in pain, you’re tired and dizzy and sweating from exertion.
As soon as the therapist leaves, you press your call bell and a nurse arrives.
It’s not someone you’ve met before, you know they’ve been short staffed lately.
His ID badge says Matsu.
You ask for pain relief.
He says, firmly, ‘you shouldn’t ask for pain relief unless the pain is bad. The last thing you need is an opiate addiction.’
You’ve never been denied pain relief before.
You feel a wave of shame.
Is he right? Are you addicted? Does it matter?
The pain’s bad though, your stomach’s churning and clenching.
‘The pain is bad,’ you say, dignity be damned, pleading.
‘I’ll check on you in an hour and if you’re still in pain I can give you some then,’ he says.
He’s out the door before you can formulate a reply.
You sit very still, try to distract yourself. The pattern on the ceiling’s swirling, you’re concentrating so hard.
The door opens, the male nurse called Jimin comes in, and you bite your lip so hard you taste metal on your tongue.
He’s saying something, but you can’t hear it over the rush of blood in your ears.
He comes closer, leans over you, voice firmer now.
You can hear your name.
You gaze up into his face, and he looks so kind, and concerned, the tears start trickling down your face.
‘Please,’ you whisper. ‘I’m in pain.’
Jimin leaves and comes back, hangs an IV on the drip stand above your head, connects it up and opens the port.
The cold trickle through your veins makes you shiver but soon enough relief comes, so sweet and welcoming you start crying again.
You don’t know how much time has passed before you realise Jimin’s still in your room, typing notes into the computer.
He says, ‘don’t let it get that bad next time.’
His voice is quiet, neutral, but you can’t help the flash of anger.
‘I asked for the painkillers, and the nurse told me to hold out as he didn’t want me to be addicted,’ you reply, sharp.
You can hear the tone of your voice as it comes out, and you hate it. The thing that you resent most about the constant pain is the way it’s draining away your generosity, your indulgence, your humour.
You can’t stand yourself.
Jimin, instead of snapping back, somehow manages to reply with a kindness that makes you feel even worse.
‘I’m sorry the nurse said that,’ he says, sounding regretful. ‘Please know you can ask for pain meds anytime.’
You’re still crying, indulging in your moment of self-pity, wallowing in it.
God, you hate yourself.
The only thing you hate more is the pain.
***
You’re going for another trip out, you’ve started spending more time outside now that the weather’s better.
You’re waiting to be let out of the double doors to the ward when the nurse, Jimin, passes by.
‘There’s a hairdresser in the hospital,’ he tells you. ‘They’re open now, and they didn’t have any customers when I checked.’
You look at him, considering.
‘Since you said you didn’t like your hair,’ he adds.
You smile. ‘Thanks. I’ll check it out.’
You look at your reflection in the mirror of the elevator on the way down, and impulsively, decide to visit the hospital hairdresser.
It takes you a bit of back and forth to find it, you’re sweaty and frazzled by the time you press on the buzzer.
A woman with bright orange streaks in her hair answers. She gives you a once over, then smiles, kind.
‘You must be Y/N? Jimin said you might come.’
You’re surprised. ‘You know Jimin?’
‘Honey,’ she says, taking the handles of your wheelchair and pushing you in front of one of the mirrors, ‘everyone knows Jimin. He’s a sweetheart.’
‘He’s easy on the eyes too,’ agrees another woman, smirking. The tag on her chest says ‘Suzie’.
‘Jimim said those neurosurgeons did a number on your hair,’ the first woman says. She winks at you. ‘Lucky for you I’m an expert on cleaning up after them.’
You’re startled into a laugh.
Her smile brightens. ‘You’re so pretty! And you’ll look even better when we’re done.’
An hour later, you find yourself in the lifts on the way back to your ward.
You can’t stop staring at yourself in the mirrors.
Is this what you used to look like? You’ve seen a few pictures of you. Taemin’s lockscreen is a picture of you and him on a beach, but you don’t think you look exactly the way you looked before.
Rhonda, the hairdresser who greeted you at the door, had waved you away when you tried to pay her, saying all patients got their haircuts on the house.
You’re waiting to be let back into the ward when you hear a familiar voice.
It’s Jimin, smiling at you so broadly you blink a little at how pretty he looks.
‘You went! Your hair looks beautiful,’ he says.
You look at him searchingly but he seems perfectly sincere.
‘Thank you,’ you tell him. You give him a half-smile. ‘They like you a lot down there.’
Jimin laughs. ‘That’s because I let them do whatever they want to my hair.’
He rakes a hand through his hair to illustrate, and you notice he’s got a new undercut beneath the blonde curtain of his hair.
‘Pretty,’ you say, admiring.
Jimin glances at you. ‘Just like you,’ he replies.
You laugh, because he can’t possibly be serious. ‘Please, in this old thing?’
You pluck at a fold in your hospital gown, and Jimin says, deadpan, ‘the green specks in the fabric really complement your eyes.’
You laugh again.
Jimin asks, ‘Need a push back to your room?’
‘Nah,’ you say. ‘I can do it.’
Jimin nods. ‘Let me know if you need anything.’
It’s only when you get back to your room that you realise that your conversation with Jimin, short as it was, is the first real conversation you’ve had in a long time.
***
Taemin’s looking at you very seriously, and a sudden flash of intuition tells you what he’s going to say before he says it.
‘I can’t do this anymore,’ he tells you.
You concentrate hard on the hand he’s put on top of yours.
Was his touch ever familiar to you? All you feel is detached.
You search his face, the curve of his brow, the line of his jaw. He’s attractive even now, but did you ever really love him the way he said you did?
It’s only been a few months since the accident.
Did he ever really love you if he’s this keen to move on without you?
The tears come as a surprise.
He looks alarmed now, as the wetness spills from your eyes, down your cheeks.
You know it’s unfair for you two to be in limbo like this, especially when you don’t think the old you is ever coming back.
It’s just the new you, the now and forever you left.
You assure him you’re fine, that it’s the right thing to do.
He tells you he’ll pack up your things and deliver them to your parents’ house.
You tell him to throw everything away.
What use do you have for the trappings of a life you can’t remember?
It seems like hours before you gather yourself together enough to go back to your solitary room.
You put yourself to bed because you think you’ve had enough of today, and you can only hope tomorrow will be better.
***
It’s Halloween, and you’re amusing yourself with the thought that you don’t even need a costume this year to look frightening.
You’ve had another operation, your leg’s healing well enough that the surgeons have taken the frame off, leaving a collection of red scars and a leg you don’t trust without the external metalwork.
Without the scaffolding that held you upright for months.
Your hair’s grown out, the scar across the side and back of your head is covered but if you run your fingers along your scalp you can still feel it.
The doctors tell you that you’ll be home before Christmas.
You refrain from telling them you can’t remember a home apart from this hospital bed.
Nobody likes a killjoy.
You glance up as someone knocks on your door.
It’s Jimin, a satin cape over his scrubs, plastic fangs peeking out between his lips.
‘Are you here for my blood?’ you ask.
It’s a joke you wouldn’t have been quick enough to make a month ago.
Jimin frowns at you. ‘Where’s your costume?’
You gesture to your leg. ‘I’m the Tin Man,’ you tell him.
‘You are pretty heartless,’ Jimin agrees.
You snort. ‘You’re a nurse, aren’t you supposed to be caring?’
Jimin says, ‘I do care. There’s going to be fireworks later, I got permission to take you to the park if you want.’
You can’t believe your ears. ‘The park? As in, out of the hospital? Do you mean the car park?’
Jimin smiles. ‘I mean the park next to the hospital. An actual park.’
‘When?’ you ask, guarded, not letting yourself get excited, worried he’s going to tell you it’s a joke.
‘I clock off at eight, I’ll take you then.’
You know how hard he works, you’ve been on this ward for months and you think he’s been here almost as much as you have. And you literally live here.
You want to ask why he’d spend his precious time off with you but god help you, you want to go to the park more.
You haven’t been off hospital grounds since you were admitted, a mangled mess of broken bone and blood.
Jimin’s looking at you. ‘If you don’t want to —-‘
‘I want to!’ you say, so quickly you startle both of you.
He’s still eyeing you carefully, so you say, ‘I just feel bad taking up your time off.’
‘It won’t be long. I don’t live far from the hospital anyway,’ Jimin says.
He smiles, and he looks so kind you feel like crying. ‘So are we going?’
‘Yes,’ you tell him. ‘Yes I’d love to.’
***
You feel an unfamiliar fluttering of butterflies in your stomach as you wait by the entrance to your ward for Jimin to finish handing over his patients.
Jimin hurries up to you. He looks a little tired, but he smiles kindly at you. ‘Ready?’
He’s dressed in his street clothes, a plain t-shirt, a hoodie and jeans, and you catch yourself thinking how pretty he looks, even in casual clothes, tired after a long shift.
Shit.
Do you have a crush on him?
At least you don’t have to think about him having a crush on you, you think ruefully. All he’s seen of you are your dumb jokes which you can’t even blame on your brain injury, your hideously scarred leg and your terrible post neurosurgery haircut.
You think you’re good.
Jimin takes the handles of your wheelchair as you leave out the main entrance of the hospital.
‘Thanks for taking me out on your own time,’ you say, wishing you could see his face.
‘It’s not a problem at all,’ Jimin tells you. ‘Like I said, I live close.’
You feel lighter the further you get from the hospital, the fluttering in your stomach getting stronger.
Is this what happiness feels like? Excitement?
Jimin parks you by the side of the lake.
‘I’ve got some time off after this, anyway,’ he says.
‘Yeah? Going skiing?’
Jimin looks at you, bemused.
‘Sorry,’ you say, apologetic.
Your injuries are from a skiing accident. At least that’s what you were told. You sure as hell can’t remember it.
You want to say something else, but you’re distracted by the sudden eruption of fireworks, over the lake.
A starburst of metals burning in the sky.
You don’t realise you’re laughing until you notice the way Jimin’s looking at you.
His face gleams red and orange in the light reflected off the lake.
He’s beautiful.
You stop, self-conscious.
‘Don’t,’ Jimin says. ‘Don’t hide it on account of me, you look so happy.’
A shower of purple falls gently, and it’s so pretty you could cry.
You could keep watching forever.
‘I haven’t seen your fiance in a while,’ remarks Jimin.
Distracted, you say, ‘we broke up.’
Jimin looks at you sharply, you feel the need to explain.
‘He said he couldn’t do it anymore,’ you tell him. You shrug. ‘It’s ok. I know I’m different to how I was before.’
Jimin says, casual, ‘What a dick move.’
You’re startled into a laugh. ‘Isn’t it? But I don’t have any feelings for him either, not now anyway. It would have been a farce.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Jimin says. ‘If you’re committed in health ——‘
‘I don’t know how committed we were,’ you say quietly. ‘I can’t remember a damn thing about us.’
You’re both quiet for a moment.
You ask, to break the silence, ‘what are you doing with your time off?’
‘I’m going travelling,’ Jimin says. He looks at you sideways. ‘I’m going to Tuscany with friends.’
You’re excited for him. ‘I’ve always wanted to go to Tuscany,’ you say. ‘You’ll have to show me pictures when you get back.’
Jimin smiles. ‘Of course. But at the rate you’re healing you might not even be on the ward when I get back.’
You hadn’t even considered this.
‘I’ll be gone three weeks,’ Jimin says, gently.
‘Well, send me a postcard,’ you say, laughingly. ‘You know where I live.’
‘Deal,’ Jimin says, offering his hand. You shake, as the lights rain down around you, burning bright in the dark.
***
You’re struggling at physical therapy today, more so than usual. Your breathing’s heavier, and it feels like you’re fighting through mud.
Your physical therapist, Mara, finally stops you, just as you’re about to ask for a break.
‘Are you feeling ok?’ she asks, concerned.
‘I’m fine,’ you grit out. ‘I can do more.’
‘I think we should stop.’
You just have enough consciousness left to hear her calling for help as your vision goes dark.
The padded mat is cool under your cheek.
You hear rapid footsteps, voices, and then, nothing at all.
***
You lose two and a half days before they allow you to wake.
First and most pressing, the tube in your throat that it hurts to swallow around, pushing air into your lungs. Breathing for you.
The line in your neck, the stitches holding it in that itch, madly.
You would scratch it but your hand’s tethered with the weight of a probe on your finger, another line in the back of it.
The tube in your nose, hooked up to a pump.
The catheter between your legs, attached to a bag hooked carelessly on the side of the bed.
You’re in intensive care.
When your breathing tube comes out, a cough and a splutter, you ask what happened.
It turns out you had a wound infection that made you septic. You’d collapsed after a physical therapy session.
If you hadn’t already lost half your life to the skiing accident, you’d mourn the loss of the last few days. As it is, all you can do is what you’ve been doing.
Try to move on.
Your muscles, painstakingly built up through months of physical therapy, have weakened even though you’ve only been asleep for two days and change.
Breathing becomes an exercise in endurance that you’ll never take for granted again.
The lines come out, one by one, and then, at the end of your first week, you’re finally line free, untethered again.
Just your battered body for company.
Sohee, the older nurse with gentle hands, coaxes you through your bad days.
You think of Jimin, more than once, sunstreaked and golden in the fields of Tuscany.
You hope that wherever he is, he’s having the time of his life.
Your family, initially terrified by your deterioration, are now talking about where you’ll live when you get discharged.
Trying to help you get over the setback from your sepsis.
You’re trying not to let your discomfort show on your face as Matsu tries for the third time to draw blood from your abused veins.
He buries the needle, deep, and you bite your lip at the throbbing that results.
The door opens, and you look up, grateful for the distraction.
It’s Jimin.
He’s tanned, and glowing with good health, and he stands out like an angel in these four walls that have been your home for months.
‘Jimin!’ you say, unable to stop the smile spreading across your face.
‘Y/N,’ he says, with such warmth there’s a glow in your chest.
You flinch as Matsu moves the needle in your arm, and Jimin’s face darkens.
‘Hey, Matsu, I can take over.’
The tone of his voice brooks no argument.
Matsu nods, and Jimin takes his tray from his as he leaves.
‘I had a little jaunt to the ICU whilst you were gone,’ you say, lightly. ‘It’s not as nice as Tuscany, but it was a change of scenery at least.’
Jimin smiles. ‘I heard. I’m glad to see you’re still in one piece.’
His hand is warm on your arm as he prepares to draw blood.
‘They did a number on my veins,’ you say.
Jimin hums. ‘I know,’ he tells you. He’s gentle, thumb pressing on your skin as he searches for a vein.
‘There goes my life of being a junkie,’ you say dramatically. ‘I wouldn’t be able to find a place to shoot up.’
Jimin says. ‘Tuscany was lovely. You should go someday.’
‘Yeah?’ you ask, interested. ‘Tell me more. Where did you stay? What did you do?’
You feel the prick as Jimin draws blood, and he says, quietly. ‘I’m in, you can relax, ok? I’ll be done in a minute.’
You close your eyes as Jimin tells you about the vineyard where he and his friends stayed. His voice is low, melodic, and he distracts you so well you barely realise when he’s done.
He places a plaster on your hand, thumb smoothing the edges.
His touch calms you in a way you haven’t felt in weeks.
You turn to him. ‘Thanks Jimin.’
‘I’ve been doing this for years,’ he says.
‘Not just for this,’ you say, gesturing to the plaster. ‘Thanks for the company.’
‘Apparently you like it so much you got septic so you’d still be here when I got back,’ Jimin says, grinning at you, easy.
You laugh. ‘One day, when I get out of here, I’m going to make you breakfast, and the best coffee you’ve ever had.’
Jimin snorts. ‘Can you even cook?’
‘I don’t know,’ you admit.
You both laugh.
‘Well, I look forward to it anyway,’ Jimin says. He gets up, holding up the vial he’s just drawn from you. ‘I should get this labelled up and sent off.’
You’re still smiling long after he’s left the room.
***
It’s Christmas day.
Your family are visiting, they’ve even brought in turkey, your favourite roast potatoes which you used to love, and you haven’t had such a good day in a long time.
You’re still in your Christmas pyjamas, looking out the window after they left, when there’s a knock on your door.
Jimin steps in, slightly bemused at the collection of food and presents you’ve been bequeathed.
‘I know you don’t know who you were before, but you’re very loved,’ he observes.
You’re oddly touched.
‘They left me a tonne of food, have you eaten?’ you ask.
Jimin smiles. ‘I’ve been eating all day, all the staff working today have brought in things for Christmas lunch.’
He pauses. ‘And dinner.’
He laughs. ‘We’re all set until the end of the year, I think.’
‘Dessert?’ you offer. ‘It’s my mum’s sticky toffee pudding, I won’t be able to finish it.’
Jimin considers the container you show him. ‘I can heat it up and we can share it?’
‘Deal.’
Jimin disappears with your container and comes back with two bowls and two spoons.
You eye the tiny gummy snowman candy he’s placed on top of your helping.
Jimin sees your expression, laughs. ‘They’re good. Sohee gave me a whole bag of them.’
He perches next to your window, and you eat in silence.
‘There’s a big tree in the main hospital, do you want to go and visit it after this?’ Jimin asks.
You nod. ‘Also, I got you a present.’
You rummage in your pile of presents for the gold box your sister helped you get.
Jimin accepts, looking shyly at you. ‘You shouldn’t have got me anything,’ he says.
‘Don’t worry, I don’t expect special treatment,’ you tease. ‘I know you save the best treats for Mrs Kim in room 12 anyway.’
Jimin laughs. ‘May I?’
He unwraps the box, and a moment later is staring at the gold Christmas bauble ensconced in delicate tissue paper.
He runs his thumb over the design etched in the glass. ‘The tree of love,’ he says.
You smile. ‘When you came back after your holiday, you looked so happy and recharged, and I thought this would remind you of it.’
Jimin smiles back at you so bright and pretty he’s blinding. ‘It’s beautiful. Thank you.’
He puts it carefully back in the box. ‘The tree I was going to show you isn’t as beautiful as this, but shall we go now, anyway?’
‘Sure.’
You grab your crutches.
‘I can get a wheelchair if you want –’ Jimin offers.
‘It’s my Christmas present to myself,’ you tell him. ‘I’m not going to use a wheelchair again.’
Jimin looks at you for a long moment.
When he opens his mouth, his words aren’t what you expected.
‘I guess I could carry you, if the worst happened,’ he says lightly.
You roll your eyes. ‘Lead the way, Park, I’m fine on my crutches.’
Two lifts and a walk across the link corridor later, you find yourself standing in front of the giant Douglas fir in the front foyer of the hospital.
It’s huge, at least 20 feet tall, and covered in blues and silvers.
You sigh. ‘It smells so good.’
You catch Jimin looking at you.
‘It reminded me of you when I saw it,’ he says.
‘Does it also have a bad leg?’ you ask, teasing.
‘I used to go hiking with my family, every weekend,’ Jimin tells you. He’s looking up, away from you, at the star on the top of the tree. ‘This tree reminds me of that.’
He turns to you. ‘My dad used to do a bit of woodworking, and his favourite type of wood was Douglas fir. You can paint it easily so it can be any colour you want, and at its core it’s light and strong. Look after it, and it lasts a lifetime.’
You’re trying to think about how this relates to you when Jimin says, ‘You’re rebuilding your life, painting yourself different, but you’re the same person at your core. You’re one of the strongest people I know.’
You don’t realise you’re crying until he reaches out, gently, to wipe your cheek.
‘Do you believe in fate?’ Jimin asks.
‘I don’t know what I believe in now,’ you say, honestly.
‘I never did,’ Jimin says. ‘I wanted to leave nursing for a long time. I actually put in my notice last year.’
You’re surprised to hear it. From what you’ve seen, Jimin loves his job. He’s damned good at it.
‘I was on one of my last shifts when you were brought in,’ Jimin says. He’s looking at you now, an expression on his face that makes your heart skip several beats.
‘Seeing you pick up the pieces after you had something so devastating happen to you —-’ he breaks off, throat working as he swallows.
‘It made me realise how much I love my job,’ he says. ‘I think I was meant to do this. I’m good at it.’
‘You’re great at it,’ you say, earnest.
Jimin reaches out and puts his hand over where yours is braced over your crutch.
‘Here’s to next Christmas, when all this is behind you,’ he says.
You don’t know what to say, so you grasp his hand. ‘Merry Christmas, Jimin.’
‘Merry Christmas, Y/N.’
You stand there, hand in hand, admiring the sparkly tree, enjoying the relative lull in activity in the normally crowded hospital foyer this Christmas night, until your legs start to give out, and then Jimin walks you back to your room.
***
You’re in your room, just back from physical therapy, when Sohee walks in. ‘We need your help,’ she says, brisk.
You look up, curious.
‘It’s Jimin’s birthday, and the tradition here is that if you work here and it’s your birthday, you get slimed.’
You’re incredulous. You can’t imagine anyone would ever dare to slime Sohee, with her perfectly starched uniforms and her stern demeanor.
‘Park manages to evade us every year, but this year, he has a weakness,’ Sohee continues.
She looks right at you. ‘You.’
You splutter. ‘Me? How am I Jimin’s weakness?’
‘He likes you,’ Sohee says, matter of fact. ‘He’d never act on it, not whilst you’re in his care, but he likes you, and this year, Park Jimin’s going to get what’s coming to him.’
‘What’s in it for me?’ you ask, nonchalant.
‘I’ll get the catering staff to give you an extra helping on Sunday roast day,’ says Sohee, like she’d been expecting you to ask exactly that.
‘I don’t want to hurt Jimin,’ you say.
Sohee rolls her eyes. ‘No one wants to hurt Jimin. But he’s the quickest out of all of us, and he’s slimed us all over the years, and no one can catch him.’
‘Come on,’ Sohee wheedles. ‘You’ll be discharged next week anyway.’
You sigh. ‘What do I have to do?’
***
You shift nervously in your chair as you wait for Jimin to respond to the call bell Sohee activated before she left.
He knocks on your door and enters, a smile already on his face. ‘Are you ok, Y/N?’
‘I’m sorry,’ you start.
Jimin’s two steps away when the door bursts open, and Sohee, Matsu and the other nurse, Alice, rush in.
Jimin looks at them, then you, and steps in front of you quickly. ‘Ok, ok, you can slime me,’ he says, hands out. ‘Just don’t get anything on Y/N.’
Jimin stands perfectly still as Sohee and Matsu unceremoniously dump buckets of green and purple slime over his head.
You don’t miss how the slime makes his scrubs top mould to his torso.
Jimin turns, slips, and you reach out to stop him from falling.
You lose your balance and Jimin, trying to stop you from falling, slides to put his body under yours as you end up in a heap on the floor.
Jimin’s looking at you, concern in his eyes. ‘Are you ok?’
He looks so ridiculous, covered in green and purple slime, that you can’t help but laugh.
A moment later, he’s laughing too.
‘I’m sorry,’ you tell him.
He’s still smiling. ‘I can’t believe you helped them,’ he complains. He shifts a little, and suddenly you’re very aware of the hardness of his torso under you, how his thighs strain against his scrubs bottoms.
‘I’ll leave you kids to clean up,’ Sohee says, not unkindly, ushering Matsu and Alice out of your room. ‘Happy birthday Jiminie!’
Jimin helps you get up. ‘Be careful, it’s slippery,’ he says, holding your arm.
You’ve never been this close to him before.
He wipes his hand on his thigh, then brushes a streak of slime off your cheek. ‘I’ll get cleaned up, then I’ll come back and clean the room, ok? Can you get cleaned up on your own?’
You nod. His hand is still against your cheek.
You’re thinking about what Sohee said about Jimin liking you. Is she right?
Jimin pulls his hand away, and you mourn the loss of his warmth.
‘See you in a bit,’ he tells you.
***
You take one last look back at the room you’ve spent the last few months in whilst you’ve been recovering from your injury.
You came in, in pieces, and now you’re walking out, changed in ways you can’t even fathom.
Your dad and mum are in the car with your things, you’ll be staying with them for a while until you learn to live independently again.
You’ve said your thank you’s and goodbyes. To Sohee, who made good on her promise to get the catering staff to give you extra roast potatoes on Sunday. To Matsu, who you’ve seen grow in compassion since the initial days when he wouldn’t give you pain meds. To Mrs Kim who was constantly saying how much you reminded her of her daughter.
To Jimin, who dropped by after his shift yesterday and gave you his number. He’d told you to call him and it’d seemed like he meant it.
You close the door behind you and see Jimin, rushing down the corridor.
‘I was worried I’d missed you,’ he says.
‘You’re not even at work today,’ you remind him.
‘I live close. Besides, I couldn’t not say goodbye on your last day.’
Jimin smiles. ‘Ready to face the big bad world again?’
You smile back. ‘All my monsters are in there,’ you say, gesturing to the empty room behind you.
‘We should meet up,’ Jimin says. ‘You owe me a breakfast and the best coffee I’ve ever had.’
‘We can meet up,’ you say. ‘Anywhere but here.’
You reach out, and enclose him in a hug.
‘I’ll see you soon, ok?’
He holds you a moment longer, then lets go.
‘Yeah.’
You walk down to the ward doors, press the button to let yourself out.
You give Jimin one last wave, and then, you’re out.
***
You’re watching TV with your parents after dinner, when the news comes on.
‘Hey, that’s your hospital,’ you dad says.
You watch, interest piqued as the newscaster reports on upcoming nursing strikes.
‘They should strike,’ you say. ‘They’re underpaid and underappreciated.’
Later, in your room, you’re looking at the number Jimin saved on your phone.
It’s been two weeks since you left the hospital, and you’ve not got in touch with him.
It’s not that you don’t want to talk to him, but you’re worried about what things will be like, now that you’re out of the hospital.
You think of the news report you saw, and you make a decision.
***
It’s the first time you’ve really been out since you left the hospital. You’ve been with your mum to the store, round the corner to the park, but you haven’t made any longer trips than that.
Your leg’s completely healed, you don’t even need crutches anymore, but some days there’s still an ache deep in your bones.
You get headaches but they’re nowhere near as bad as they were.
You hear the chanting, the sound of a hundred conversations, as you walk over to where there’s a crowd gathered, picketing in support of the nursing strike.
Every face is unfamiliar, and you’re starting to wonder if it was wise to come and support the strikes when you see him.
He’s dressed casually like the other times you’ve seen him in off-duty clothes, his hair styled back, holding a placard that says, ‘Safe staffing saves lives’.
Like he senses your eyes on him, he turns, and your eyes meet.
In an instant, he’s making his way through the crowd, to you.
He stops a step in front of you.
‘Is it really you?’ he asks.
You smile.
Jimin wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer as a group of people push past.
‘What are you doing here?’ he scolds. ‘You shouldn’t be in a crowd like this —’
You put your hand against his cheek, and he stills.
He moves his head, closer, so close your lips touch.
You’ve wanted this for so long, and this new version of you takes what she wants.
You kiss.
Jimin makes a soft noise, deep in his throat, and his hand comes up to cup the back of your head as your lips meet again.
By the time you come up for air, you feel flushed, giddy, your heart pounding a million miles a minute in your chest.
Jimin presses another soft kiss on your cheek before he pulls away.
‘I’m so glad you came,’ he says.
***
Jimin’s shucking his shirt over his head in the quiet of his bedroom, only the moonlight to show you the beauty of his form.
He gathers you back into his arms like he couldn’t stand even that short time apart without touching you. You don’t think he’s stopped touching you at all since you met him at the picket line.
You’re not complaining.
Jimin pulls you closer so your lips meet again. His lips are soft, full, pressing against yours firmly.
He doesn’t shy away, so you don’t either.
He tugs your top over your head, litters your breasts with kisses, tugs the cups of your bra down so he can get better access.
He laves your nipples with his tongue, like he enjoys the sounds you make as he sucks on your flesh.
You can feel his hardness against your centre as he strokes his tongue and hands over your skin.
You reach down to touch him, and Jimin grunts as you curl your fingers around his cock.
‘We don’t have to—’
‘I want it,’ you tell him, lips against his skin, hand on his ass.
‘I want to give it to you,’ Jimin groans. ‘Fuck, are you sure?’
You’ve never been surer of anything in your life.
Jimin rolls a condom onto himself, hissing a little. He positions himself above you, and you move to make room for him between your thighs.
He nudges in a little, gentle as he’s always been with you, and the stretch is so good you can’t help the moan that falls from your lips.
Jimin presses his face to yours. ‘Tell me to stop if —’
‘Don’t stop,’ you say. ‘Don’t you dare stop.’
Jimin seals his lips to yours as he drives the rest of himself into you. He stops when he’s all the way in, stills.
He lifts his head to look at your face. ‘Are you – is this ok?’
You smile, breathlessly. ‘Can’t you tell, Jimin?’
Jimin groans as you clench around him.
‘You’re so wet. Fuck —’
He moves, and your eyes close with the pleasure of it.
‘Fuck, Jimin —’
He moves again, and you cry out as he rocks his hips against yours.
It’s overwhelming, the weight of him against you, the way his skin gleams with sweat in the moonlight, the soft whines he makes on every thrust. The feel of him inside you.
It’s his voice that eventually tips you over the edge. ‘You’re so pretty,’ he vows against your ear. ‘I can’t believe you’re here —’
You cry his name as you come, and he keeps going, seeking his own release now, gentle even when he’s taut with need.
He kisses you again, grinds hard, deep, and then he’s holding you like he doesn’t want to ever let you go.
***
You can hear Jimin moving in his bedroom, and sure enough, he emerges, shirtless, hair mussed from your fingers through it.
You admire the beautiful lines of his cut torso as he walks towards you.
‘Who knew you were packing all this under those blue scrubs?’ you ask, teasing.
Jimin smiles, pulls you into a hug. ‘What are you doing in my kitchen?’
‘Making you breakfast,’ you tell him. ‘A promise is a promise.’
Jimin leans down to kiss your neck, and you shiver at the touch of his lips.
‘Later,’ he tells you. ‘I’ll make us breakfast later. Come back to bed.’
He grasps your hand, and you follow him back to his bedroom.
You have no idea where this is going, but you figure this is a hell of a good start to the rest of your life.
©hamsterclaw 2023
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iyaaaa please may i suggest 22 + lando/older man of your choice in case that sparks anything? <3
fanks lima that did spark something and it was lando/andrea and the MTC bathroom gloryhole 😌
Nobody tells Lando about it directly. He’s doing resistance band stretches in the back of the garage with Jon while the engineers are fiddling about with the rear wing assembly, and they’re talking about it. Pretty loudly, pretty shamelessly. About how there’s a certain bathroom on floor three of MTC, the small one just off the Composites department that only has two stalls in it. About the hole someone’s drilled into the dividing wall at waist height, the perfect height and width for —
“Oi,” Jon says, snapping his fingers in front of Lando’s face. “You’re meant to be stretching, not earwigging.”
”Yeah, alright,” Lando grouses, trying to switch his attention back to the chest stretches he’s been half-assing for the last five minutes. “Maybe you should be more interesting if you don’t want me to get bored of you, ever thought of that?”
“Noted, boss,” Jon says, cheerful, and spins him round to start on his shoulder stretches.
Andrea’s standing behind them, leaning against the central console with his big earphones hooked around his neck. Listening to the same conversation, one eyebrow minutely raised.
He meets Lando’s gaze as he turns, just for a second. Lando feels himself flush and looks away.
It takes about a week for Lando’s curiosity to get the better of him.
He knows it’s a stupid idea, but then surely as long as he’s quiet, discreet, there’s no real risk. Nobody would imagine it’s him. Or even better — they might want to think it’s him, but how could they prove it?
It’s tempting. Too tempting.
The factory is quiet by the time Lando’s finished for the day. Quiet, but not empty.
Lando excuses himself from the last few stragglers in the meeting room, waving his goodbyes and heading off in the direction of the lifts.
Glancing over his shoulder to check he’s not being followed, he pulls his hood up and cuts back to the stairs, climbing to level three. The bathrooms they’d been talking about are at the far end of the same corridor, tucked away. Hardly anyone uses them; hardly anyone knows they’re there. Lando can’t remember ever going in there before, which is probably why he’s never noticed the hole. But once he lets himself into the right-hand stall and latches the door behind himself, there it is. A couple of feet off the ground, a few inches wide, carefully and neatly drilled.
Beneath it, in black marker pen, someone has helpfully added instructions. Suck here.
*
He’s sat there for ages before anyone comes in. Perched on the toilet with the lid down, elbows on his knees, scrolling TikTok with the volume off. When fifteen minutes have ticked past, he wonders if he should just give up.
On the verge of standing, he hears the bathroom door creak open and freezes in place.
Fuck, maybe it’s just someone coming in for a piss. Or worse. Someone who doesn’t know about the reputation this place has, or knows about it but has decided to ignore it, thinks it’s weird or silly or gross.
Lando breathes as quietly as possible, sliding his phone back into his jeans pocket and pressing his sweaty palms against his thighs.
Footsteps cross the floor. The door of the stall next to him shuts gently; the click of the latch echoes off the tiles. There’s some shuffling, the whirr of a zip.
Then silence. Waiting.
Lando swallows, digs his fingers into his knees. Fuck, he should’ve googled this beforehand or something. Checked the etiquette. Is the other guy meant to just stick his cock through and hope for the best?
On the other side of the partition, the man clears his throat. It’s probably as close as Lando’s going to get to a come-on.
He exhales and taps the wall with a knuckle, just beside the waiting hole, hoping he’s telegraphing his meaning. I’m here, if you want it.
Nothing happens for a few seconds. Nausea rises in Lando’s belly. He’s fucked it. He’s creeped out someone from the Composites team who just wanted to use the fucking toilet. Oh Jesus, he’s going to get reported to HR.
A scuffle close to his head makes him jump. Whoever’s on the other side, they’re standing very close to the wall. Lando darts a glance downwards; the tips of two McLaren-branded trainers, the same ones they all wear, are just visible beneath the partition.
Lando looks up. The tip of a cock is poking through the hole in the wall, pink and flushed and slightly ridiculous.
He slides to his knees, shuffles closer, parts his lips and sticks out his tongue. Before he can chicken out, he licks the tip of the cock. Just a quick swipe, like he’s licking the swirl of an ice cream.
The man on the other side inhales sharply. There’s something faintly familiar; something tickling at the edges of Lando’s memory. He chooses not to think about it. Licks again.
Another shuddering breath. A soft word spoken under the breath in a language Lando can’t quite get a handle on, except he knows it’s not English. Well, at least he knows it’s not Oscar. Or Zak.
He parts his lips, closing them around the tip of the cock. His nose is pressed up against the wall, there’s no room to move. He taps the wall again, and as if by magic, the cock pushes further into his mouth, a pleasant wait on his tongue.
It’s still a pretty shit angle, and he can’t do much more than suckle on it; whoever it is, they’re not massively hung. There’s a slight upward curve to his cock, grazing the roof of Lando’s mouth as he thrusts through the hole as best he can.
Whatever the shortcomings of Lando’s blowjob, they don’t seem to be much of an issue. It only takes a few minutes of gentle sucking, teasing the slit with his tongue, before he can taste precum leaking. He can hear the man breathing hard, the fastenings of his trousers scraping against the wall where he’s humping against it. There’s something obscene about it, the way he’s making this man fall apart in a bathroom that smells of antiseptic spray and air freshener, the way he exists only as a mouth to fuck. It’s making him hard too, aching in his jeans. He undoes them with trembling hands, trying not to let the rhythm of his mouth and tongue falter as he gets a hand on himself.
The man grunts, and recognition stabs at the back of Lando’s mind again. He ignores it, hollows his cheek and sucks hard, tongue rubbing eager circles just below the head where he knows it’s good. A sharp, bitten-off moan, and salt spreads across his tongue. Lando’s swallowed it down before he realises he could have spat it into the toilet next to him.
He sinks to his haunches, jacking himself off frantically. The cock withdraws from the hole and Lando whimpers, involuntary. He’s vaguely aware that he should be ashamed about this, on his knees in a public toilet with the taste of anonymous spunk coating his mouth, bundling toilet roll into one hand so he doesn’t get come all over his jeans. But if there’s nobody to see it, why should he feel shame?
The stall door next to him unlatches. Lando listens to the tap running, the splash of the man washing his hands. He comes as the man dries his hands beneath the air dryer, muffling his moans beneath the noise.
*
Afterwards, he has to splash his face with cold water. He’s pink across the cheeks, eyes reddened where they’d watered with the effort. His mouth looks soft and swollen. He tries to fix his hair, smooth his clothes back into place.
Before he leaves, he peers into the adjoining stall. On the other side of the hole, written in the same black marker, a different set of instructions. Fuck here.
He closes the door behind himself as quietly as possible as he leaves, trying not to draw attention to anyone who might be walking past, and walks towards the lift as quickly as he can.
Someone holds the doors for him as he turns the corner to the foyer. Lando steps inside the lift.
“Lando,” Andrea greets him, inclining his head.
Lando nods, swallowing hard and digging his phone out of his pocket so he has something to look at in the hope Andrea won’t notice his freshly fucked face.
As he looks down, something snags his attention. The zip to Andrea’s trousers is undone.
His eyes jerk up to Andrea’s face. Andrea’s staring right back at him, at his swollen mouth, his mussed-up hair.
He swallows. His brain feels awfully blank; he can’t remember a single normal thing they might have a conversation about.
Before his panic can spiral, the lift pings to signal the ground floor.
As the door opens, Andrea reaches out. Touches his arm, a gesture that could easily be read as friendly. “It is good to see you working late, Lando,” he says, and meets Lando’s eyes. “I think I will be here in the evening all week, too.”
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