#f!reader x jesse

[cyberels]

later, loser.ᐟ ᯓ★

˗ˋˏ 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐒 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ˎˊ-

☆ ellie discovers the quickest way to get a girl underneath her

daily click! palestine masterpost

☆: sometimes i start writing without a plot in mind to get myself out of a funk and and and this is what i came up w lol so sorry if it’s doodoo ass

☆ warnings -> mention of blood, injuries, all that good shit that comes with skateboarding, probably really inaccurate skating talk, drugs, tbh probably really bad writing but bare with me here, no concept of stranger danger from reader when she sees a hot girl (ellie) for plot reasons lol

☆ skaterboarder!ellie yayyy she wears glasses because i said so &&&&& also ellie works at a vinyl shop and reader works at a bakery :)

☆ ☆ ellies playlist! ☆ ☆

u don’t have to listen but i made it to listen while i write and i thought it’d be fun to add

my masterlist

ellie was no stranger to making mistakes, she’s human, it happens… however, she usually doesn’t make this many stupid choices within the span of one single hour.

today, ellie was running late.

mistake number one.

she practically flew out of the door and hopped on her board, mumbling a half assed apology to her neighbor who she accidentally shoulder checked on her way out when she put on her headphones.

she’s probably going way too fast, but she’s been skateboarding for years, she can handle it. she still has the penny boards that she started skating on when she was 12 hanging up in her living room, right beside some of her other boards she’s had since then that she’s either destroyed or replaced. she weaved in and out of the people walking practically effortlessly, not caring if she was pissing anyone off, they’d live. she’d never have to see them again, anyways.

she opened her phone to turn on her music.

you, on the other hand, were taking your time; you had a good while until you had to be at work. you’ve created a habit of looking for ladybugs in the bushes outside your apartment complex after you noticed that the plant is home to many of the little insects. usually you just glance at the plant as you pass by, but today, you fully stopped to look.

unfortunately, you were unaware of ellie being just feet away from you.

guess you’re no stranger to mistakes, either.

granted, ellie would have had enough time to stop… if she was paying attention.

which she was not.

mistake number two.

you hear a string of curse words behind you. you barely manage to turn around before you’re pushed into the bushes by a girl who promptly lands on top of you. her skateboard rolled away pathetically. it’s almost like it was embarrassed, too.

if there had been any ladybugs, they were definitely squashed now.

you open your eyes slowly to find the other girl hovering just above you. her necklace dangles temptingly close to your lips as she pushes herself up. she's still on top of you, her face just inches away from yours. she blinks a few times, slowly taking in the situation. she seems lost in thought, the wheels in her head turning painstakingly slowly as she tries to comprehend what's happening and her part in it.

she’s taking way too long to get off of you, though, which only serves to frustrate you more.

“hellooo? can you get up?” you mumble through gritted teeth to the girl above you, turning your head to the side to avoid her gaze.

in hindsight, you probably should’ve asked if she was okay, but right now all you wanted to do was get up and pretend like this never happened.

you don’t even want to know how many people saw you fall.

“oh— oh fuck.” ellie stuttered, taking one last glance at you before she moved herself onto the sidewalk, not finding the strength to stand up fully just yet.

she grabbed her headphones that had been flung off in the impact. small scrapes lined the side of them, but at least they probably still worked. she put them around her neck, letting her head fall back in her hands. she took a deep breath, trying to get a grip on her emotions and the situation.

you sigh as you get up, and ellie can tell you’re mad based solely on how the exhale of air sounded.

“uh… you good?” you ask after an uncomfortable pause, eyeing the other girl. it was obvious you didn’t really care, but at least you tried to be polite.

you were still taking your time collecting yourself, brushing leaves out of your hair and wiping blood from your hands onto your jeans (thank god you wore black jeans today). you were definitely going to be sore tomorrow, but other than your scraped up hands, you were fine.

just really pissed off.

ellie looked up at you and then immediately looked back down, running her hands over her face once more. “yeah, i’m… good.”

you roll your eyes as you hold your hand (the one with the least amount of scrapes) out towards ellie, offering to pull her up. you can't help but feel pity as she sits on the sidewalk. not in a sympathizing way, but more of a "damn, this girl looks pathetic" way. she hesitates for a second, but then grabs your hand and smiles weakly.

“thanks.”

as much as you know that this situation partially is your fault, you’re still annoyed. you had spent so long getting ready today just to have some idiot push you into dirt.

when you speak again, your words come out harsher than you intended… not that you minded. “yeah. watch where you’re fucking going next time.”

ouch.

okay, maybe (keyword: maybe) ellie had caused the worst part of this, but she wasn’t going to sit here and take you blatantly being rude when you’re just as much to blame as she is. “maybe if you didn’t think you owned the sidewalk, i wouldn't have ran into you.”

you reach down beside you and grab her, now shattered, phone and her (also shattered) glasses. you raise your eyebrows as you look over the broken screen.

“maybe if you were paying attention.” you pause, wiggling the phone in front of her face. “you would’ve realized i stopped walking.”

she snatched her things back, she didn’t have a comeback for that.

her phone was fucked… usable, but the screen was shattered so badly that if she scrolled on it she’d probably slice open her thumb. small price to pay, she figures.

it’s not like she’s gonna buy a new one… but she would have to cough up the money for new glasses, though. damn it.

“why the hell did you stop walking anyways?”

you hesitate, looking back at the bush sheepishly, vaguely gesturing towards it as you speak again. “i— not that it’s any of your business— i wanted to see if there were any ladybugs on the leaves.”

“…oh.”

well now ellie just feels like a dickhead, because that’s actually really cute. that was not the answer she was expecting.

you continue looking away and ellie sighs, attempting to push past you to grab her skateboard.

mistake number three.

the second she takes a step, she falls into you again, her ankle completely giving out underneath her. you catch her, your arms wrapping around her hips as you hold her up.

ellie has never wanted to die more than she did at this moment.

her face was literally sandwiched in between your chest. she pushed herself back, hopping slightly.

what the fuck just happened?

“oh my fucking god. i’m so sorry. i– oh fuck, this is so awkward.”

yeah, awkward was one word for it. you stare at her blankly for a moment before you kick her skateboard towards her.

you could feel her touch lingering on your body like she was still there. if your hands were just a little lower you would’ve…

“its– it’s fine. dude, are you sure you’re alright?”

you sound more like you care this time, at least.

not that you do care, or anything,

just trying to make sure she wasn’t seriously hurt.

that’s all.

“i’m fine.” it was an obvious lie, but she was preoccupied with thinking about how she was going to skate to and from work if she could barely walk… she’d have to deal with it, she decided. there wasn’t any other option for her right now, she was already late.. “i’ll be fine.”

“very convincing.” you reply, looking her up and down. “you’re not seriously about to get on that thing again, are you?”

“not that it’s any of your business, but i don’t have any other choice, i’m gonna be late to work and this is all i have to get me there.”

you narrow your eyes at her.

no way this girl was reckless and stupid.

“what? you can’t be serious… you’re still going to work? are you an idiot?”

ellie doesn't answer right away, glancing down at her skateboard for a bit. you’re right, she should call out, but she hated the prospect of missing a day of work. money had been tight, even one missed day would be hell for her and her bank account.

“you gonna give me the money i’d lose if i called out?”

you opened your mouth to reply, but she was already flying past you, very clearly having a hard time but also very clearly not caring.

“don’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk next time, dumbass!” she yelled, leaving you standing in the same spot just watching her leave.

…and kinda wishing she’d come back.

just so you could get the last word.

when you walk into work, it’s unfortunately obvious that you’re pissed off, if the way your manager immediately asks what happened as soon as you clocked in was anything to go by.

you’re thankful for the excuse to rant, though.

“god, abby, where do i even start? i literally just walked out of my apartment and some girl on a skateboard slammed into me and we both went flying into a stupid plant. got a face full of bush and not even the good kind.”

“jesus,” abby laughed, picking a leaf out of your hair. “was she hot?”

“was she hot? is that seriously all you’re gonna say?”

“...well?”

“i hate you so much… but yeah, she was.” you admit, defeat obvious in your tone. you’re well aware that this would’ve been a lot easier for you if you didn’t find the dumb skater attractive. you’d been close enough to her face to see every detail… her freckles, her eyes, her lips— damn it. you couldn’t get her out of your head.

this felt like a sick joke.

abby clapped her hands together. “this isn’t a completely bad thing! did you get her number?”

“no, abby, i didn’t get her number. i was too busy trying to get her away from me because she was stupid and annoying.”

“you’re no fun, could’ve got yourself a skater girl.” she frowned. “are you okay though?”

“you should’ve led with that question, you know?” you huff, looking at the scrapes on your palms again. “i’m fine.”

“yeah, yeah. i should’ve.” abby tosses a pastry towards you. “here, for your troubles, on the house. go sit down in the break room for a little bit, you look like a mess.”

“gonna ignore the last part. thanks, abs.”

──── ✧《✿》✧ ────

──── ✧《✿》✧ ────

“jesus fucking christ.” ellie mumbled to herself, hopping off her board before she opened the door to the small vinyl store she worked at.

“late again, williams— oh. oh wow. you look like shit.” austin, the owner of the shop spoke, nudging ellie as she walked by. he was wearing a stupid smirk on his face which made ellie more aggravated.

asshole.

“real nice.” ellie grumbled, putting up her skateboard and backpack. “sorry for being late, won’t happen again, i just— some people are so stupid, you know?”

“by ‘some people’ do you mean you?” he laughed, spinning on his chair. he mocked the way ellie spoke, doing a high pitched voice that sounded nothing like her.

god, he was a 30 year old man-child, but he pays her… so… whatever. she’ll deal.

“ha-ha. good one.”

“ya gonna tell me what happened or are ya gonna leave me guessin’?”

“what happened is people don’t know how to walk anymore.” she scoffed, taking stock of the money she had to count before putting it in the drawer. “so fucking stupid.”

“by the looks of it you don’t know how to walk anymore, either. you gonna be able to work? i’m not payin’ ya to sit around, so if i need to call someone else in…”

she glared at him, trying to see if he’d explode if she stared hard enough.

he was right though, unfortunately, ellie was walking like she had just learned how to. it wasn’t the worst injury she’s ever got from skateboarding, but it was definitely inconvenient.

“yeah, i’ll be fine.” ellie snapped, shifting her weight to her good foot to avoid making her injury any worse. “jesus christ, it’s a twisted ankle. i’m not missing a limb.”

“but—“

“drop it.”

he put his hands up in mock surrender, the smirk still on his face. “oooookay, okay. whatever you say williams. you were still late though, let’s go back to talkin’ about that. what’s the count at now? is this the fifth or sixth time this month?”

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry. shit’s hard when you don’t have a car.” ellie sighed, punching in the numbers on her register. “i’ll do better. today was not my fault, though.”

“am i gonna have to be more strict with you? everyone else shows up on time, you know?”

“yeah, yeah. whatever.” ellie rolled her eyes, trying to focus on work and push the pain out of her mind. “everyone else has a car.”

ellie really did not like austin. his whole holier-than-thou attitude irked her to no end.

still, it beat being jobless, so she knew she shouldn’t complain.

“don’t let it happen again.”

“i won’t, i swear. i’m really sorry.”

“right, okay, i’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick, you alright out here?”

she bit her tongue, holding back a groan.

austin ‘going to the bathroom’ was his way of saying that he’s gonna get really fucking stoned and then sit around and do nothing all day. this was a daily occurrence, at this rate.

“yeah, yeah, i’m good.” ellie mumbled, shoving away the annoyance she felt when he walked past her.

austin was a dickhead, but he was never outright mean, not really. he just… he thought he was better than everyone. a classic ego-centric prick.

as much as she hated him, she did like having a job— and being able to afford a place to sleep at night.

“ohhh, ellie, i gave you more shifts, like you asked.” he said before he walked out, smiling at her. “take a look at the schedule when ya get the chance.”

he has to be kidding.

she’s been begging for more shifts since god knows how long ago, and he decides to give her more now? when she doesn’t even know how she’s gonna be able to make it to work?

amazing. just what she wanted!

“great.” ellie muttered, shooting him a glare even though he was already gone. “more hours that i don’t know how the hell i’m gonna get to.”

she shook her head, austin wasn’t worth getting this pissed about— especially when he did try to do what she asked.

the store was never busy in the morning, so she sat in austins chair, finally taking a second to herself. she went over her options on how this was going to go.

she could have asked dina for a ride, if dina wasn’t off on some work trip about three hours away for the next two weeks, taking her and jesses shared car with her.

terrible timing.

she’d take public transportation if it was reliable and also if she didn’t have a few bad experiences with it already.

that wasn’t really a good option.

uber was definitely not an option. she already was going to have to buy new glasses and eventually pay for her phone to get fixed, she wasn’t about to drop $50 a day on ride.

she was screwed.

nothing was working out for her right now— the universe was laughing at her, just like it always did.

she wanted to kick and scream, but that wouldn’t help anything, plus she wouldn’t be able to kick very well right now.

oh well… she’d be fine, she’d just have to push through it.

her phone buzzed in her pocket and she winced when she seen the cracked screen again, it was so wrecked that it barely let her type in her password.

──── ✧《✿》✧ ────

──── ✧《✿》✧ ────

was ellie stupid for agreeing to go out of her way when she was already struggling to walk? yes.

does she care? no.

jesse was a good guy, he’s done a shit ton of favors for her, so this was the least she could do.

she’d never been to the bakery, but she always smelled it when she’d pass by, and it always looked like it’d be good. she did deserve a little treat after the day she had, anyways.

thank you jesse and jesse’s money.

when ellies shift is over, she feels so much worse than she did earlier, and austin repeating that ellie looked like shit over and over again wasn’t helping.

ugh.

“you’re a wreck, williams—“

“—goodbye austin, byeee. i’m leaving, out the door, shifts over. see you tomorrow.” she slammed the door shut, letting out a frustrated sigh as she got on her board again. “god. fuck off.”

the bakery wasn’t far, it was literally right across the street, but it felt like it was miles away to ellie. she leaned on the wall for a second to catch her breath before she walked inside.

it was a cute shop, one of those places you see on pinterest or instagram, with the led light signs and fake plants, it was actually really nice. she doesn’t know why she never came here before.

“let me know if i can help… oh god. it’s you.”

she looks over at you and she starts to wish the fall had just killed her on impact.

“please… pretend like this morning didn’t happen. i don’t want to deal with arguing right now.” ellie sighs, not giving you time to reply to her before she goes into saying her order.

she looked at your name tag as she paid, she could barely see what it said, her eyes squinting slightly as she tried to make out your name.

you scribbled little smiley faces and stars around your name, which was cuter than ellie would like to admit.

“go sit, i’ll bring your stuff to you after i box them, ‘kay?”

“i can wait here.“

“sit.”

“fine.”

she sat at one of the booths, attempting to use her phone without losing a finger. she wasn’t even paying attention to the content, just scrolling mindlessly as the memories of this morning replayed in her mind over and over again.

she was hoping to never see you again.

maybe coming here was a mistake.

“here.” you say after a few moments, placing the boxes on the table. “enjoy.”

you were being kind, but she could read behind the curtness of your tone.

you thought she was dumb. she could always tell by the way you talked to her; that look of disdain on your face.

“thanks.” she said, and then the silence took over again. it was obvious that neither of them wanted to start another conversation after the way the last one ended.

ellie couldn’t help but notice how just scraped up your hands were. you had bandages on them, but the blood that seeped through was bright red, like it was demanding to be looked at.

demanding ellie to feel bad for what she did.

damn it, she really should’ve just paid attention this morning.

would’ve saved her a lot of trouble.

she got up, sucking her teeth and hissing as she shifted her weight. she leaned on the table for balance as a few curse words left her mouth.

“god, you’re the dumbest person i’ve ever met.” you declared, confirming her suspicions.

she scoffed, trying to shake the pain away from her ankle.

man, this sucked.

“shut the hell up.” ellie snapped. “you don’t have to be so snarky, you know? i’m already dealing with the consequences of my shitty morning, you can drop the whole, ‘i’m better than you’ bullshit. if you listened earlier, you’d have known i said that i have no other choice.”

“i did listen, idiot. i don’t mean to sound like i’m trying to be better than you, okay? i’m sorry. but you seriously don’t have anyone that can help you out? do you have friends?”

“i have friends, asshole. they’re just either busy or i don’t want to inconvenience them. what’s it matter to you anyways?”

you don’t really have an answer, you’re not sure why it matters. maybe it’s because ellie looked really miserable, or maybe it’s because it had been partially your fault that she’s hurt… or maybe both. but you couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt about the situation she was in.

“i have a car.”

ellie paused, looking up at you. she wasn’t sure if she heard you correctly, or if this was just some weird, shitty joke.

“okay? congratulations?”

“don’t make me spell it out.” you reply, annoyance clear in your tone. “i’m saying, you’re obviously hurt, and it’s kinda my fault, so… if you needed a ride…”

“no.”

“don’t be stubborn. look, i get it, we’re not on the best terms right now, but i can’t just let you go like this without at least offering, y’know? plus, you seem like you could use the help.”

ellie’s mind was screaming at her to accept— it was logical. you offered a ride, she needs a ride, she should accept your offer.

“i could be a serial killer for all you know. you don’t even know my name.”

“yeah, okay. you? a serial killer? i’d just run away. not like you’d be able to chase after me.”

“hey, i can run pretty damn fast, you know?” ellie hissed. if she wanted, she could definitely chase you down… but she’d rather not do that at the moment. that was probably not a great idea. “hell, i could be an axe murderer.”

“what’s your name?”

“huh?”

“are you dumb?”

“…it’s ellie.”

“‘kay, ellie, now i know your name and if you’re observant— which i doubt but i’m gonna play devils advocate— you know mine. nice to meet you. now we know each other. i’m not gonna sit here and play 21 questions, do you want me to take you to your place or not?”

“what if you kill me anyways?” she asked, she was kidding, she just wanted to piss you off.

“i am not gonna fucking— you know what, you’re annoying. never mind.”

“wait. i’m sorry.”

fuck.

maybe this whole thing about you wasn’t so bad. you were just— abrasive.

she swallowed, forcing herself to stay calm. “i’ll take a ride.”

“what’s the magic word?”

“die.” ellie hissed. “you’re not funny.”

“almost! that’s four words. do you want a hint?”

ellie stared at you blankly for a few seconds before answering. “i am not saying please.”

“you just said it.” you grinned. “look, i get off at 6:30, that’s like… 20 minutes from now, if you don’t mind waiting. i’ll come get you when i’m off, sound good?”

“yeah. that sounds good.”

this is such a bad idea.

[moonlight-prose]

this is pure thot, sending one about Gabriel Van Helsing fucking you in his jacket (because he thinks you look so goddamn good in it - only it, and nothing else) 🦇💕

note: i need you know i screamed and fell over and actually made a fool of myself writing this. because where is this man and why isn't he married me??? i want to be his hot witch wife who helps him fight monsters. also i love the amount of asks people sent in about him. clearly we need more van helsing in our lives.

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY!!, rough sex, p in v sex, possessive gabriel, outdoor nasty time, hints of wolfism, he's feral.

It's a full moon when he finds you bundled in his leather trench coat, waiting out the chill in the air as he finishes yet another job well done. The autumnal solstice has come and gone, bringing darkness to the world around. Giving leeway to the monsters who clung to the shadows, biding their time for the moon's glow to lead the way.

You've opted for thin clothes. A horrible choice given the change in seasons, but Gabriel vowed this would be simple. The inn refused to open its doors for someone like him - claiming he was a monster in his own right. And perhaps that was true.

Whether he liked to admit it, the wolf inside of him never truly passed. The antidote may have changed him back, but the instincts remained. His thread of anger grew thinner the fuller the moon got, his thirst for blood thickened like sweet honey as his changed DNA craved something fresher. Something made up of veins and nerves and a beating heart he could stop.

"Finished?" You shudder at the sight of his shirt torn open in the center, his chest on full display for you to ogle at blatantly.

"The bastard tried to play with me."

A smile curled onto your lips, sly and smooth and dripping with lust at the biting rage behind his words. The moon was affecting him. Far more than he would have liked.

"I'm sure you taught him a lesson," you reasoned, moving swiftly to reach for his warm hands. "You always do."

"That my coat?"

His eyes trailed down to the way it gaped across your own chest, your dress slipping down lower than you intended. But Gabriel was only a man and the adrenaline ran through his body like a fire he couldn't put out. The moon's glow fueled his thoughts, his urges, and before you could explain that you were cold he was walking you back into the trunk of the nearest tree.

"Last I checked I gave that to you to hold," he said. Although his eyes said something else - the ache crawling its way through his body, settling at the base of his spine.

Your chin tipped in defiance. "Last I checked I didn't need your permission to wear your clothes."

"Is that right?"

"It is."

The smile on his face screamed contentment, but the fire in his gaze explained to you the turmoil he fought on the inside. The war that waged in his body at the very thought of touching you. Of getting his hands on what rightfully belonged to him.

"I'm rather cold," he replied, dipping his gloved hand beneath the leather fabric. Brazenly groping your breast as his tongue dragged across his bottom lip. "Might need this back."

"Then take it," you gasped. "It's yours."

A blur of movement left you winded when he hauled you up against the tree, his strength increased by the moon's piercing glow. Teeth latched onto your neck like an animal aching to mark his territory. The quickness of his hands digging to raise your dress stole whatever sense you had left in your head.

Out in the open you were nothing but prey for this man to take. A feast for him to dine on with a wet mouth and throbbing cock. You couldn't deny the harsh wave of lust that swept through you even if you wanted to.

"It is mine," he gruffly stated, swiping his cock through your dripping folds. "The leather and the pretty thing inside it."

Your eyes rolled back when he entered you faster than you could take. The burning stretch caused you to sag against the tree, his fingers harsh against the meat of your thighs. There was no warning. Just a kiss pressed sloppily to your lips, a growl muffled into the heat of your mouth, before he slammed into you again.

"Should have known better." His bit at your bottom lip until copper flooded his mouth - a streak of red smearing between your mouths.

The smile on your face was tainted in crimson. His cock jolted within you at the sight. Bloody and fucked out and perfectly his in every way he could have you.

"W-Who says I didn't?"

"Minx," he bit out, a hand slamming to the trunk behind you, fingers ripping at the bark. "I want you to finish."

"Gabriel-"

He gripped your throat, eyes flashing dangerously in the darkness as the beast within began to rear its ugly head. There would never be another full moon where he turned. Never another night spent locked inside a monster's body. But he would forever be stuck with it as his companion.

"Finish. And then I will fuck you properly in our home," he snarled, grinding into you hard enough to hurt.

The coarse hair at the base of his cock dragged along your aching clit. And with a muffled shout against his cheek you gushed. The numbing pleasure drowned you, dragged you through the fires of hell before seating you atop the throne of heaven.

His cry of your name barely registered, but you felt the swell of his cock when he broke. The drip of his spend slipping down between your bodies. His blood still ran hot - desperation skirting the edges of his patience - but for a moment he relaxed into your touch.

Kissing along your throat until his lips found yours once more.

[sweetyluvs]

𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐭, 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮

summary: jealousy is a nasty disease, especially when it’s ally is miscommunication.

warnings: drinking, swearing, mentions of sexual activity

a/n: was feeling a little bit mixed so… <3

the once sweet drink in Ellie’s hand has become unbearably bitter to the touch of her tongue.

all joy from the fun atmosphere of the party evaporated like ice under heat. her green eyes were following your every movement, brows furrowed agitatedly. you were smiling at a boy, laughing at whatever lame joke he had cracked. The grin on your face was wide, allowing him to lean closer and closer with you by every passing second.

“you okay there, Ellie?” Joel comments, following her deadly glaze to you. She flickered her eyes quickly away, sitting up in her chair and facing him.

“yeah, i’m fine.” she mumbled, taking a sip from her drink.

Joel didn’t say anything else, only leaning on the bar she sat at and sending her a knowing side glance.

Ellie fought the urge to look back to you when she heard the lovely sound of your laughter, and she could only imagine the grin on your face. something about the fact she wasn’t the one making you laugh like that made a spark of something bad burn in her chest.

her jaw clenched upon hearing you gasp, and let her urges consume her as she looked to you.

The man was leaning against you, whispering something in your ear when you playfully pushed him off, a big, happy grin painted your face when you said something she couldn’t decipher in return.

She only looks back to Joel when Maria calls his name, earning both her and said man to look. He sent her a nod before departing, smiling when his brother greeted him.

her green eyes looked to her drink, swaying it as pieces of her auburn hair filled her peripheral vision.

Ellie kept trying to deny the feeling that devoured her insides. the gut-wrenching, nauseating, body heating feeling of jealousy. It ate her alive.

She would never admit to it, not ever.

Her eyes trailed back to you again; wishing she was the one beside you, wanting to be the one making you laugh— needing to be the one so close.

your eyes looked up and locked with hers, the feeling that was life threatening consuming you both.

Your smile grew impossibly bigger, quickly excusing yourself from the boy you were speaking with and walking to ellie.

Your hair was up, neck and collar bones showing attractively, your shirt was unbuckled just enough to show a little more than wanted skin. Ellie snapped her eyes away from anywhere below your eyes, no smile on her face even after you got so close she could smell you.

“Hey, els. why are you here alone? where’s jesse and dina?” you question, brows furrowing in the way she loved too much.

“i dunno.” she responded dully, sipping her drink and looking away from you.

your lips shaped into a frown, bottom lip sticking out.

“Are you okay?”

“yeah. I’m great.” she says sarcastically, rolling her eyes and slamming her jar down, pushing her chair out and grabbing her coat.

“ellie, where are you going?” you hurry after, pushing through the crowd of people in a desperate attempt to follow her. she shuffles her jacket on, brutally shoving people out of her way and successfully making it to the door— with you close behind.

The cold night hair blows into Ellie’s face, her hair flying up before falling out of place. She tried to ignore your voice, calling out to her from not too far away.

“wait up! why are you leaving already?” you pant once you finally reach her, blowing warm air into the palms of your hands to try and remain comfortable.

She didn’t reply, stuffing her hands in her pockets as you two walk side by side.

“ellie?”

“ugh— what? what do you want?” she snapped, stopping dead in her tracks.

“I just asked you, like, three times. why are you leaving?”

“Probably because I want to? it was a shit party, anyways.” she replied, eyes scanning you shortly before darting away. “You could’ve come to where I was. we were having fun, you would’ve liked it.” you remarked, crossing your arms.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes for the second time tonight. “and interrupt your little.. love affair? No thanks.”

your eyes widened at her comment, brows furrowing confusedly.

“what are you taking about?”

“you think I didn’t see the way you were looking at that guy?” she retorted, voice raising. “i’m not an idiot.”

“it wasn’t like that! he’s just my—”

“let me guess, your ‘friend’?”

“Yes! he is, I swear.” your voice sounded pleading, as if you needed her to believe you.

Ellie brushed you off when she began walking again, leaving you to follow after her a second time.

“Ellie! why are you so upset? he’s only my friend, I was just having a good time. is that not allowed anymore or something?” You grabbed her arm, making her stop just before she ripped it away from your grasp.

“God— you’re so annoying! just.. go back to the party and leave me alone.” she exclaimed, regretting it immediately upon seeing your face.

“What did I do? I’m not leaving until I can properly apologize,” you insisted, raising your own voice. “here’s what you did; you stared at that guy like you wanted to fuck him!” She shouted, watching as you flinched.

your mouth fell open, eyes widening as you stare up at her. “what? fuck Matt? Ellie, He’s gay!” you yelled angrily, exasperated by her ridiculous attitude. The widen of her green eyes told you just how little she knew.

“I.. I told you that. were you not even listening?” you whispered, licking your lips.

“and why the hell are you so upset, anyways? I can fuck whoever I want and it shouldn’t bother you, it’s none of your business.”

Your words seemed to make her more upset, her face flushing with anger.

“Whatever! You’re right! go fuck some 50 year old for all I care!”

You groaned loudly, slapping your hands over your face. “Don’t say that! Why would you say that! Why is everything I do such a problem for you, ellie? i thought we were friends, we’re supposed to be with each other, not against each other. what’s up with you?” uncovering your face, your eyes met her’s—and her expression was unreadable.

It was unlike any you’ve ever seen. It had so many words, so many emotions you didn’t know where to begin.

“..ellie..?”

her jaw clenched, eyes flickering down to your lips before she let out an angry sigh.

“fuck it— I love you, Okay? I’m— fucking in love with you.”

your jaw almost met the floor, cheeks heating up instantly. Your eyes were wide, and ellie was obviously embarrassed.

“You’re… in love with me?” you voiced aloud, eyes looking to the floor.

Ellie knew she shouldn’t have said it. Now not only did she lose the one she loves, she also most likely lost her best friend.

“fuck— i.. I shouldn’t have said anyth—”

She was cut off by a pair of soft lips on hers. Ellie’s eyes shot wide, you were kissing her, and it wasn’t a dream.

As if on instinct, she kissed you back. Hands subconsciously clutching your waist as her lips made a song with yours. It was desperate, it was needy. You were greedy as they moved in an indescribable rhythm, matching perfectly like puzzle pieces. You wrapped your arms around her neck, holding tightly.

ellie felt you push harder against her, so close she could feel your every curve.

she moved from your waist to your hips, gripping you in a bruising grip.

Hums of pleasure escapes you the longer the kiss continued, urging ellie to continue; to keep it going.

You pulled away, though. Gasping for air desperately, meeting her eyes.

“I.. I fucking love you too, Ellie.”

[crushh-existz]

Hot & Heavy (1)

childhoodbestfriend!ellie x reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Synopsis: Before you went to university in NYC, you and your childhood bestfriend, Ellie, had a pretty messy fight and haven't talked since. Dina convinced you to move back to Jackson after you graduated to get some work just until you can settle down in a nearby city. You needed the money while you soft-launched your photograghy business and you missed your friends and family anyway. Dina swears up and down that Ellie moved away years ago and you were stupid enough to trust her.

Warnings: cursing (more to come probably..), NOT PROOFREAD, men dni

1 Month Prior…

"Calm down babes, like I said, she moved out of Joel's like two years ago!" You sighed into your phone as you held it to your ear.

"I dunno Dina... Even if she's not in town, what if I bump into Joel? Like would he think I'm just this evil monster who's praying on his family's downfall??" Dina scoffed on the other side of the line.

"You're actually hopeless oh my god. No way you're saying this to me right now."

"UH-? You never can be to cautious." You could feel her eyes rolling through the phone.

"Trust me you're fine. Besides, Joel has been out a lot lately. He's always down at the lake hunting, even I have barely seen him." You sat silent for a moment, shifting on the metal bench of the bus stop. "I miss you girl, everything will be okay. I can't wait to see you home, JJ has been waiting for you too!"

You sighed. "Yeah... You're right. How's JJ been?"

"Great actually! Jesse's parents have been helping me a lot actually. He actually started preschool a week ago." You couldn't help yourself from smiling to yourself.

“Really? Oh my god is he already that old…” Dina laughed into the phone and replied with a 'mhmm'. You sigh before looking up and finding the city bus sitting just before you. "Shit- I gotta go the bus just got here. Bye girl- I'll see you in a bit."

11.09 6:26 A.M. - Your POV

It's been a few weeks since you got back to Jackson. If you're completely honest, being back here made you hot in the face. It was nostalgic really seeing old townsfolk and you didn't realize how much you actually missed all of them. Thankfully no signs of Joel or Ellie. You did see Maria and the market but it didn't seem like she saw you.

You sighed, laying your head onto your desk. You've been editing photos from a recent trip to the lake with Dina for the past half an hour now and finally got the lighting to look how you wanted. You checked the time and cursed under your breath once you realized your first shift at the local cafe you applied to was starting soon. You slid your headphones over your ears to go get ready.

11.09 7:16 A.M. - Ellie's POV

Ellie sighed as she trudged behind Joel going to get his morning coffee before he would drag her out to hunt. She didn't really enjoy the idea of spending hours in the mountain snow staring at some animals until he finally choose one to make into his next meal.

"Y'know there's a grocery store across the street I can just grab some meat-"

"Kiddo, some time in your lifetime you need to learn patience and what better example than hunting?"

"I just-"

Ellie was cut off by Joel walking up to the register and ordering his classic black coffee. Ellie really couldn't understand how he could drink that crap but who was she to judge anyway. She adjusted her backpack on her shoulders as she looked around the cozy shop. She didn't drop by often due to her lack of reason to. Just occasionally when Dina requests or when Joel needs her to pick up his order before he goes out to work.

She noticed small things like the fairy lights hung over the bathroom door and the small vines adorning the walls of the small shop. She also watched the workers as she zoned out the bustling of the people in the shop. Her eyes drifted from the man taking Joel's order to the girl standing before the glass display and taking photos of small pastries. She lingered her gaze on her, watching her focus on what she seems to be doing, which also made her look like a huge creep but she really couldn't tear her attention away and she couldn't figure out why.

She brushed it off as she pried her eyes away and follows Joel out of the cafe with his now acquired coffee. They left with a chime of the entrance door and started walking to Joel's pick-up.

"Hey kiddo, was that who I thought it was?" Joel asks before he takes an audible sip of his coffee. Ellie thinks about his question for a little ask she adjusted her leather jacket that she borrowed (permanently stole) from him.

“Mmm… What do you mean?” Frosty puffs of air float about as she asks him, reaching behind her to grab her water bottle from the side of her backpack she wore.

“That looked like that one friend you never seem to talk about anymore. Few years ago she was all you seemed to talk about. Never remembered her name though..” Joel seemed to ponder while the gears turned inside of poor Ellie’s brain as she brought the bottle to her mouth and just started to take a sip of her drink.

Realization hit her like a bus once she got to the passanger door of Joel's pickup, stopping in her tracks and starting to choke on her fail attempt at drinking. Joel looked at her confused and a bit worried.

"...Kiddo? You alright..?" Joel asked with furrowed brows as he peered over at her over the top of the pickup, basically just the messy auburn peaking over. She hastily got into the truck chucking her backpack into the footwell of the car. As he followed suit he watched as she messily wiped her face.

"... Yup- Just.. Went down the wrong pipe." He shrugged it off as he pushed the key into the ignition and decided to drop it.

"Whatever you say kid."

11.09 8:12 A.M - Your POV

Work was slow today, which you understood since you assumed finals were creeping up on students. That was one thing you do NOT miss since graduating and you're glad to be free from such hell. While your coworker was out in the front making sure to serve the few customers that did sprinkle in, you were in the back looking over the product photos your boss requested to take. Yes, it was for free, but it would be good for reference for future clients. Baby steps, was what you were telling yourself.

As you looked over them, you actually found yourself proud your work! Maybe you could fix the lighting a bit-- But nothing Adobe Workshop couldn't fix! You did accidentally catch some customers in the back of some photos but you could just easily cut them out.

While looking over one particular photo you took of a small coffee cup, steam visibly exiting the top of the cup, camera panned towards to the front glass door to get a blurred affect of two customers. She didn't realize she captured them in the moment but she saw a tall older man with a young woman beside him. They had their backs turned, exiting the cafe as he sipped his newly brewed coffee.

Funny how they looked familiar.

09/11 9:57 A.M. - Ellie's POV

The whole car ride Ellie was quiet other than shortened responses to Joel's lecturing on a subject she couldn't quite remember. As her thoughts raced it felt like hot blood pulsing in her veins, heavy memories weighing on her brain. Really, she thought she would never see your face ever again after everything she said to you. She really didn't understand why it took her so long to recognize you. Maybe it was the way you seemed a lot less scared of the world, the way you comfortable took up more space like you knew you belonged. Maybe it was the loose curls you let adorn the frame of your face, the curls she remembers you burning to a crisp just to be straight.

"It's so hard to maintain, does it look like I have that type of time?" Was what you would quip back whenever Ellie had pleaded to let your natural hair show at least once. She always thought it was pretty and suited you better than the straight hair people have bullied you into wearing in high school.

Joel snapped her out of her endless thinking by stopping the car, signaling they have arrived. Joel looked over to her as he pulled the keys out of the ignition. "Ready?"

Ellie replied with a small 'mhmm' before grabbing her bag and stepping out of the pick up.

11.09 2:43 P.M - Ellie's POV

—

A/N: LAWDDD omg i forgor about this until moot told me to hurry tf up... THERES GONNA BE MULTIPLE PARTS cuz lowk.. forgor what i was doing with this but trust ill figure it out. I DOUBT THERES GONNA BE MORE THAN 5 PARTS. i hope i did okay cuz lowk never done this b4.... OKAY BYE HOPE YOU LIKED ITTT lemme know what to improve on bc trust i need it...

Inspired by the lyrics of this song!! (the song's meaning is nowhere near what this fic is abt but it's just how I thought abt it..)

[vodika-vibes]

Hiiiii, it's me again~ I'm back with request #4!

This time, we're going with Jesse, with a ruby, and at midnight 😏 So scandalous. Take it anywhere but to the smut realm. I can't wait to see what you do with this one! 😘

Please and thank you 💚💚💚

@the-bad-batch-baroness

Under The Moonlight

Summary: The date was supposed to end when he dropped you off at your apartment, but here you are, several hours later, and he still hasn’t left. Your mother would be scandalized. But so long as he keeps kissing you like this, you couldn’t care less.

Pairing: ARC Trooper Jesse x F!Reader

Word Count: 511

Prompt: Ruby - Passionate Love

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: I still feel like trash, but I had an idea so I wanted to get this out today. Also, the only thought in my head when I was writing this was that scene from Frozen where Else was telling Anna that she "can't marry a man she just met", lol.

“I should,” Jesse’s lips pull away from yours for just a moment, allowing him to speak, “probably leave.”

You hum in agreement, as you close the short distance between your lips to catch his with yours again. Jesse’s hand, already settled comfortably at the back of your neck, slides up to fist in your hair, effortlessly taking control of the kiss. 

Earlier tonight, your best friend ditched you to go and hang out with her boyfriend. And Jesse’s brothers ditched him to dance. So the pair of you decided to be alone together. 

A night of dancing at the club, turned into caf at a local cafe, which turned into him walking you home. Which turned into sharing some cake and even more caf on your balcony, which turned into this.

You perched on his lap, your hands cupping his face, his arm solid and steady around your waist, and his hand fisted in your hair. While he does his best to steal the breath from your very lungs.

It’s okay though, you’re trying to do the same.

“I mean it, beautiful,” Jesse mumbles, “My brother will have my head if I don’t report to the barracks-”

Your fingers, soft and light, trace the republic cog on his face, “I’m not stopping you.” You whisper to him. 

Jesse’s dark eyes scan your face, and then drop to your lips. He releases a sigh, soft and heavy, “Rex is going to kill me.” He mumbles, more to himself than you, and then he tugs you back in, catching your lips with his own, “Why’d you have to be so kissable?” He breathes against your lips.

“To tempt you and you alone,” You mumble.

“Kriff, I’m a lucky man.”

A soft whine leaves your throat as he nips your already swollen lower lip and then soothes the spot with his tongue. You could get used to this, if he’s interested. 

“You could call your brother, if you want?” You offer, when he breaks the kiss to catch his breath.

Jesse chuckles, “If I told him that I was not returning to the barracks because I have a stunning woman on my lap and I can’t stop kissing her, he’d march his happy ass here and beat the tar out of me right here.”

You laughs breathlessly, “I’ll protect you.”

“Mm, my own personal heroine.” Jesse murmurs, there’s something adoring in his voice, “Maker, but you’re stunning under the moonlight.” His fingers trail against your cheek, “You must be resplendent in the sunlight.”

Your face heats at his compliment, “Would you like to stay and find out?”

A slow grin crosses his face, “Cyare, where would I sleep?” He murmurs as he brings you in so that your lips are hovering just over his.

“Well, my bed is big enough for two-”

“Sold.” And then his lips are against yours again.

Your mother would be scandalized that you’re inviting a man you just met into your bed, but you can’t seem to bring yourself to care. Especially if he keeps kissing you like this.

[dariwrites03]

Fucked up Monday. 2/3

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/daribertduck/748615753776955392/fucked-up-monday

A/n: Before you guys kill me; I’m already writing part 3. don’t you worry it’s coming your way. Please comment & repost, it’s giving me much motivation!

Summary: After Ellie kissed you on Patrol, everything was turning weird, you’re full of guilt and other feelings... What happens when your life turns from agonizing to better to so much worse? And why exactly can a few letters change everything?

Warnings: none? I think?

Taglist: @bready101 @lia-winther @liciapeonia @darkerstarsstuff @patricks-fabulous-face ( I tagged some people from my comments, hope that’s alright)

-5700k words

„And I thought I was weird for feeling uncomfortable at that, you know? They broke up, it's not really his place to say anything like that especially after telling Dina he's over her anyways" You're best friend said, finishing up her explanation of yesterdays event with Dina and Jesse. He found the two of them smoking near a warehouse and from what you made out of Ellie's explanation, he wasn't too happy to see them sitting so close.

You and Ellie were having another movie night, those happen pretty often. ( Every Wednesday, to be exact.) sitting on the old sofa in your living room with you're legs resting on hers. „Well, it's still fresh. Don't think he's jealous of the two of you spending lots of time together but maybe it's just a weird feeling seeing her with someone else, though there's absolutely nothing between you and Dina" you replied, chuckling at the thought of Jesse being all jealous over nothing. You rested your head back against the many sofa pillows, enjoying the comfy half sitting half laying position you're in. „Yeah.. totally" Ellie mumbled, looking down at her hands resting on top of you ankles, shifting uncomfortably. Knowing Ellie probably better than anyone else, you knew right away that something seems off.

„Wait.." you said,  sensing the weird vibe from you're best friend. „There is nothing between you two, right?" you said, lifting you're upper body into a more sitting posture. „Ellie?" you said her name as you're so called friend didn't answer right away. You felt you're heart stink, not really being sure of what's going on exactly. „uhm.. I don't wanna talk about it?" she said, looking at you with an apologetic look, making it sound more like a question than an real steady answer. „Hell no, remember our ‚no lying rule'?" you said. „Cmon we made that rule as we were 15, that's childish." she said while caressing through her hair, suddenly looking all exhausted. „It wasn't childish when I had my first kiss and didn't want to talk about it" You mentioned. Remembering the night you ran about 2 miles to Ellie's house after spending the afternoon with some other kids in the pub, playing some stupid games. After you kissed Sophia as you're truth or dare quest you took of running, straight into the arms of the brown haired girl who couldn't participate that nights event due to a cold. Ellie knew something must've happened and as you really didn't want to talk about it, embarrassed by the fact that everyone could probably tell you never kissed anyone ever before, Ellie set up a rule. *„Let's promise to always be honest, life is too fucked up to screw it up with lies"* you knew she was right and since that night you tried to always be honest to each other.

„Cmon that's totally different!" Ellie defended herself, crossing her arms above her chest. „Jesus, Williams, answer the fucking question and stop being difficult" you said with a light voice, feeling like Ellie was some deer that takes of running as soon as you're tone was slightly off. „I mean, there is nothing between me and Dina.. so" she explained and you could tell that She was satisfied with her answer since her shoulders became less tense. „But you wish there was?" you asked, not able to look at Ellie you decided to give you're hands something to do, grabbing the soda can you had standing infront of you at the table. „I.. yeah, I guess? Okay. Who am I kidding" she said, her hands running over her face. She revealed a slight laugh. „Oh god" she groaned, now fully blushing like a 13 year old teenager. „Yeah, yeah I do like her. Fuck, this is the first time admitting it out loud" she said.

You took a sip from you're soda, the carbonic acid being long gone since you opened the can almost 2 hours ago, giving you a second or two to continue to stay silent. Having the opportunity to ignore the trouble of you're mind right now

The Jealousy building up inside of you made you think like you're going all crazy, fighting against the urge to scream inside a pillow you took that energy elsewhere. „okay, good for you" you said, taking another sip from the drink, hoping to put out the fire building up in you're chest. Ellie looked at you saying „it's not weird, right? Falling for her?" you looked at her again, considering of telling her what you really think. You consider of telling her that's it's not weird, but you don't like it either. No , you hate it. You hate it so much because you want Ellie to fall for you instead of her.

But you didn't say that. Instead you betrayed your 15 year old self by lying to Ellie and yourself. 

It's been three months, 4 days and 2,5 Hours without a word from her. 

 Ever since then , You are entangled in the delicate web of grief for what felt like for two people, where the threads of loss and longing weave intricate patterns within your heart. Two souls, distinct yet equally significant, find their place in the chambers of your being.

Dylan, now resting six feet under, has embarked on a journey beyond the veil. His earthly vessel lies cradled by the soil, while his essence pirouettes among the constellations. The wasteland of the unknown stretches before him—And then there's your best friend, a constellation of memories and shared secrets. But her presence has become elusive, slipping through your fingers like sand. She chooses silence—a withdrawal that echoes louder than any spoken words. And you tried. Oh, how you tried to get her to speak—the silent symphony of longing, the unspoken words that hung in the air like dew-kissed spider silk. Your gaze, a language of its own, whispered secrets that transcended mere sentences. But she? She met your offerings with silence—a void that echoed louder than any spoken syllable. She stopped coming over. The threshold of your space became a chasm, a bridge severed by unspoken truths. The door, once a portal to laughter and whispered confidences, now stood closed. The only ever time you got to see her, to give yourself the inner peace of her being okay, was on the weekly parol meetings. She attended, her presence a fragile thread connecting you both. But she mastered the art of departure—slipping away before your eyes could catch hers. The opposite direction became her refuge, a path untrodden by your footsteps.

Talking wasn't what Ellie needed. You sensed it, that unspoken ache in the air—the need for silence, for space. So you stepped back, honoring the boundaries she drew around her heart. But your longing couldnt be unoticed by you any longer so after three weeks, you started writing to her. Youre desperation spilled over, ink bleeding onto paper.  You became a clandestine messenger, slipping perfumed notes into the small slit of her mailbox. Each letter carried a piece of your soul—a plea, a confession, a desperate whisper.  It lingered on your fingertips, a bridge between worlds. And as you pressed those letters into the darkness, you imagined her fingers brushing against them. Would she feel the urgency? Would she hear your silent screams for her friendship?  Handwritten letters—those delicate vessels of ink and paper—weave memories that transcend mere words. Each stroke of the pen, each carefully crafted sentence, carries a piece of the you in them. The intimacy lies not only in the content but also in the act of creation itself. You decided to write her if shes unable to talk, you wanted to give her the space she needed, you tried to be as understanding as you could. But one unanswered letter turned into two, three, four. You stopped putting them into her mailbox after five. 

Now, you're trying to ignore the pain in your heart every time you wake up. Ellie's childish behavior hasn't stopped you from living your life. Instead, you channel your anger and sleepless nights into your work, making each patrol count. Working alongside Jesse has become a bright spot—a fun experience you eagerly anticipate. It's not the same as those moments outside the gates with Ellie, but it's different in a way that doesn't breed resentment.

You and Jesse share a closeness that predates his separation from Dina. The heartbreak they both faced has left its mark, and you find solace in each other's company. Jesse isn't thrilled about the situation either—the breakup and lingering jealousy still gnaw at him. On that second day of patrol together, he broaches the awkward topic between you and Ellie. "So, you gonna tell me what happened or not?" Jesse's voice cut through the quiet of the abandoned checkpoint. He pulled a sandwich from his backpack, the crinkling of the wrapper echoing in the dim light. The two of you sat there, weary from the day's patrol, the weight of your assigned route still clinging to your bones. Nightfall had descended too swiftly, and the dangers of this post-apocalyptic world made it impossible to venture home safely after dark. You shifted uncomfortably on the hard ground, the rough edges of the old checkpoint digging into your back. The makeshift campsite was a stark reminder of the life you now led—constantly on the move, always vigilant. Jesse's eyes bore into yours, waiting for an answer.

"Don't really know what's there to say, to be honest," you replied, your fingers tracing the edges of the food you'd prepared hours ago. The silence now haning between the two of you wasnt uncomftable,punctuated by the distant howl of a lone infected.  "Maybe explain why we're now patrol partners? I thought you and Ellie made such a good team. Not that I'm complaining, though—we're badass too. Just wondering why you suddenly decided that Ellie wasn't good enough anymore," Jesse's voice cut through the dimly lit space of the makeshift camp. He lay down on the sleeping bag, using his right arm as a makeshift pillow, his gaze fixed on you. The flicker of confusion danced through the forest of your mind as you replayed Jesse's last words.

"What? I didn't decide that," you replied, studying your friend's posture as he took a bite of his cheese sandwich. "I asked Dina what happened earlier today." Jesse mumbled, his mouth still half full. "Ellie told her it was you who decided to change partners. Don't get me wrong—I feel honored to be your new partner in crime. I was just curious about what happened." - ''the fuck?'' You said more to yourself than him. ''Thats so fucked up..'' -"Okay, c'mon, I need the drama. Please explain to me like everything. Consider me one of your gossip girls," Jesse quipped, his unseriousness bringing a smile to your face. You took another bite of your food, savoring the dry bread as you gathered your thoughts. Trusting Jesse, you decided it wasn't a bad idea to share what had transpired between you and Ellie. So, with a deep breath, you began recounting the events of your last patrol with her. Jesse leans in, eyes wide with curiosity. His sandwich forgotten, he hangs on every word as you recount the events of that fateful patrol with Ellie. The tension, the unspoken words, the ache in your chest—it all spills out, painting a vivid picture of the fractured bond between you and the girl who once felt like your world.

"Damn," Jesse mutters, running a hand through his hair. "That's heavy stuff." His gaze lingers on your face, searching for answers. "You think she'll come around?'' You shrug, the weight of uncertainty settling on your shoulders. ''Dont think so, I think she regrets even kissing me. She has dina now, dont think that she'll need me anymore.'' Your gaze drifts down to your wrist, where the matching bracelet still clings—a fragile thread connecting you to Ellie. You wonder if she wears hers. Jesse, now leading forward, nudges your shoulder playfully. "Well, partner," he says, "we'll keep kicking ass out here. Fuck them both".

After that night, you felt like Jesse and you were attached at the hip. Somehow, you both helped each other navigate the jagged terrain of heartbreak, spending time together and letting the hours slip away. Being friends with Jesse had its perks. He acted as a bridge to Ellie, still maintaining a sort of friendship with Dina, getting slim updates from her. Through Jesse, you received updates about Ellie—whether she was safe, whether she'd eaten enough.

But it wasn't the same. Those impersonal updates couldn't replace the warmth of setting eyes on Ellie, hearing her voice—the cadence of her laughter, the way she'd say your name. You missed the little things, the mundane details that had once woven your lives together. But over the time you started to accept the turn of events, knowing you cannot force Friendship on somebody.

You started to distract yourself outside of work, whether it was with Jesse or... Sophia. After that encounter where Maria broke the news to you about Ellie changing everything, you did the only thing you knew you were really good at: You ran off.

Weirdly enough, two weeks after that pivotal moment and your  patrols with Jesse as your new partner, a knock on your door interrupted your vegetable-cutting session in the small kitchen. As you walked toward the door, a million possibilities raced through your mind. Was it Ellie, knocking on the wood on a late rainy afternoon? Or perhaps Jesse, wanting to talk? Dina? Or maybe Joel, coming all the way to the comfort of your four walls to deliver news about his beloved Ellie being hurt.

Secretly, you wished it was Ellie. So you ran a hand through your hair, glancing into the small mirror hanging near the door to check yourself out before opening the squeaky wood.  But on the other side stood Sophia, holding a plate covered in aluminum foil.  "Uhm... hey," she said, her cheeks flushed with red. "I've made some cake—way too much to eat all by myself. I wanted to share it. If, um, you want to, of course. It's chocolate cake." Her words tumbled out in a rush, and you sensed her nervousness. A Small smile spread across your face as you stepped aside, making space for her to enter the house. "That's too kind," you replied. "You've got impeccable timing. I just finished dinner—perfect time for dessert. Come inside." You didn't mention the comforting fact that her house was all the way across town, meaning she'd walked quite a distance just to bring you cake. Nor did you acknowledge that it was common knowledge that Sophia is allergic to Chocolate but it was your favorite.

One hour with Sophia turned into two, and before you knew it, the entire afternoon was filled with your laughter. She ended up staying over, making your house feel less empty. Since Dylan's passing, sleep had eluded you. Without Ellie by your side, it felt impossible to quiet your mind. Sophia changed that somewhat, but it didn't feel the same. Perhaps your own mind betrayed you, clouding your thoughts about her presence. You didn't want her to leave, yet you didn't necessarily want her to stay either. The universe seemed to decide for you, as the strawberry-blonde girl drifted off to sleep on your sofa after what felt like an eternity of talking.

You settled into your gray armchair, gently covering her thin body with your favorite blanket—the same one Ellie used to take whenever she stayed over. The entire night, you found yourself comparing Sophia to Ellie—the way she moved, the cadence of her voice, the sparkle in her eyes when she spoke about her interests. It wasn't a good thing, you must admit. Sophia is a nice girl, but you never really considered her a potential friend, especially since you both shared your first kisses with each other. After that, things got weird, and you both grew up, walking different paths.

Yet now, here she was—baking you cakes, making you laugh, and filling the void left by Ellie. The universe had a funny way of intertwining lives, even when hearts were tangled in memories and unanswered letters. Having someone else in Ellie's place is like trying to fit a puzzle piece into a space that was uniquely shaped for her. It's both comforting and disorienting—a blend of familiarity and foreignness. Her presence brings warmth, but it's a different kind—the soft glow of candlelight instead of the blazing fire that Ellie ignited.Sophia's touch is gentle, her fingers tracing patterns on your skin. But it lacks the electric charge—the pulse of longing—that Ellie's touch carried. You wonder if Sophia noticed the way you hesitated, the way your heart stumbles when she leans in too close.

The day with Sophia didnt end there, it  stretched into a comfortable rhythm, covering the next two days of your life —a dance of shared meals, laughter, and quiet moments. Her presence filled the spaces that Ellie had once occupied, and you found yourself not minding it at all. The awkwardness of those initial conversations melted away as you both peeled back layers, revealing stories and dreams that wove your lives together.

But life has a way of interrupting even the most harmonious melodies. Jesse, with his uninvited pizza and the entire Twilight saga in tow, barged into your living room. You tried to politely decline the teen romance marathon—you'd seen it one too many times—but Jesse, being Jesse, brushed off your protests. His eyes widened when he saw Sophia sitting there, a teasing grin tugging at his lips. You knew he'd milk this moment, teasing you about having a cute girl over at your house.

After Jesse left, well, pratically run out, you settled back onto the sofa next to Sophia. "That was... Jesse, right?" she asked, her fingers playing with her curly hair. You leaned against the soft material of the sofa, nodding. "Uhm, yup." Sophia's gaze lingered on you, and you sensed her curiosity. "You two do spend a lot of time together—even after patrols," she observed."Oh? You noticed that? Stalking me, huh?" you teased, making Sophia blush. Her cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink. "Well," she replied, her voice soft, "you just always catch my eye." And then, without warning, her body shifted closer. Her hands found their place on either side of your waist, and her lips met yours—a sweetness that tasted like possibility. You hated yourself for it, truly. Because here was a girl with good intentions, almost on top of you, and your mind couldn't help but wish it was Ellie.

Another two months slip through your fingers, ephemeral as morning mist. Life, once heavy with the ache of Ellie's absence, begins to lift itself up.  Sophia becomes a constant presence—a sunbeam that warms the corners of your heart as you allow yourself. Your growing relationship with Sophia blossoms, and you find comfort in her laughter, her touch, and the shared moments that weave your lives together. The unspoken question lingers: Are you allowed to call her your girlfriend? After all, you've shared more than just cake and conversations. Perhaps labels matter less than the way she looks at you, the way her fingers intertwine with yours.

And then there's Jesse—the steadfast friend who bridges the gap between patrols and pizza nights. His teasing about Sophia doesn't go unnoticed, but he's also the one who brings laughter into your home. Everything else remains unchanged—the memories, the unanswered letters, and the quiet longing. Life moves forward, and you find solace in the delicate balance of old and new. Patrol was as good as it could be, once you and Jesse found a way to connect your abilities, it didnt really feel like work anymore. 

"Yo, little one," Jesse's voice cut through the quiet of the stables, interrupting your grooming session with Lacy. You turned to meet his gaze, immediately noticing his patrol clothes—fitting perfectly against his frame. "What the hell are you doing? We have the day off, remember?" you asked, your fingers still caressing Lacy's mane.

"Not anymore," Jesse replied, already opening the door to his horse's stable. "Dina apparently has the flu, and they both forgot to sign in at the station outside. Maria asked me to take their route for today and look for anything weird." He led his dark brown horse out of the stable, determination etched on his face.

"Good luck with that," you said, turning back to continue your work. But Jesse wasn't done. "Nuh huh, lover girl. You're joining me," he declared, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Pardon?" You looked at him, confusion knitting your brows. "Don't hit me with Spanish,"- ''Its french'' Jesse chuckled. "well whatever it was,I don't speak it. Come on now, get ready. We don't have all day." He saddled his horse efficiently, his movements practiced. "Why should I? You said yes, not me," you replied stubbornly, even though you gathered all the essentials needed to prepare Lacy. "Well, because I'm your partner in crime? Your work husband? Love of your patrol life?" Jesse grinned, his eyes dancing with mischief. "And because I'll get bored alone. You don't have anything better to do anyway." - ''Rude?! maybe i had things planned?!'' You said, jokingly offended as you grab your stuff  ''You can meet sophia  and have all of those important 'converstations'' he made weird kissing noises ''later.'' He finished his sentance, making you laugh ''Well first of all I-'' You got interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. You looked into the direction of the noise and saw the last person you wanted to see today. ''Sup, Ellie.'' Jesse said, leaning against the stable door. ''what can I do for you?'' He asked, eyes stuck on ellie. But her gaze lied elsewhere; On you.

You shivered under her gaze, your heart racing. As you looked into Ellie's eyes—the first time in forever—you sensed something there, something you couldn't quite put into words. Her burning gaze finally shifted from you to Jesse, arms crossed at her chest.

"Earlier, when me and Dina were at the station, I lost my journal," Ellie said, her voice close, intimate. "Can you look for it? Kinda really need it back." Her words echoed through the stable, and suddenly, the air felt too thin. Your knees wobbled, memories of Ellie cascading down the memory bridge, crashing into your stomach. You felt like you might throw up. "Sure, we will look for it. Anything else?" Jesse asked, glancing between the two of you. Ellie's eyes traveled back to you, and silent hope bloomed in your chest. Maybe this was the moment—maybe Ellie would finally have the guts to talk to you directly, to say she's sorry. But as her gaze wavered, you felt the familiar pang of disappointment. Once again, Ellie remained silent.You felt a strong hand on your shoulder, silently offering support. Jesse's familiar scent enveloped you. "Thought so," he said, ending the conversation. Ellie nodded and turned away, leaving the two of you alone. The barn was filled with silence until you spoke with a shaky voice. "Okay, let's just go." And so you did—you and Jesse left for patrol. But with every passing second, the memory of that confrontation lingered, and you realized how much you still craved her.

"Jesus, I hate this path," Jesse grumbled, pushing open the old, creaky door to the station. His face turned red from the effort, and you couldn't help but giggle. "Stop crying like a baby. Let's sign in and leave," you said, walking toward the desk on the opposite side of the room. As you approached, you noticed that a pen was missing. Without it, you obviously couldn't sign in.

"Jesse, there's no pen," you called out, looking at your friend. "Really? Look under the table or something. We'll find one," he replied. You followed his suggestion, getting down on your knees. Spiderwebs greeted you, along with the encroaching dusk. You pulled out your flashlight, shining it underneath the table for a better look. And there it was—an old, leather-covered book. You'd recognize that book spine anywhere, even in the grandest libraries.

You picked it up, wiping away the dust that clung to its material. The thickness of the journal reminded you of what you were holding—a door to Ellie Williams' secrets and mindful thoughts. "Found one!" Jesse's voice snapped you out of your reverie. You turned around, hiding the journal behind your back. Jesse joined you, writing your names on the slim paper of the checklist. ‘Partner in crimes ( Jesse and y/n)’

"Did you find anything? The book, I mean. It's not somewhere I looked," Jesse asked. You shook your head, slipping the journal into your bag without it being noticed. "Nope, didn't find it either."

''Every poem I ever wrote was about her. That smile of hers, those golden eyes—whenever she's too close to the sun, it's impossible for me to stay away. The day I left, my heart shattered into a million pieces. In my head, inside my perfect self-made world, she never left me. All my thoughts revolve around her—the memories etched into my mind. Her touch, so soft—I never wanted to let go. The scent of her clothes, stealing my breath away. The nights we spent dreaming together, the minutes I never want to regret. I never dared to imagine a lifetime without her. Yet here I am, writing these words with a hole in my chest. I'm bleeding out, the wind kissing my mind, refreshing memories of letting go. The silence surrounds me, a reminder to hold on.

I search the past for redemption, but it eludes me. The only thing left of me are broken pieces of her.”

The words were carefully etched onto the paper, making it hard for you to breathe. You hadn't intended to overstep her privacy—why had you taken that journal in the first place? You dont know.  But here you were, sitting with the book in hand, the only light in the living room emanating from the countless candles you'd lit.

The journal looked thicker than usual, and that's what caught your attention first. You knew that book well, even though you'd never seen what she put inside—except for her drawings of animals, Joel, Dina, and you. She'd never shown anyone what she wrote between the pages.

The reason you'd decided to open the book, against all your inner morals, was the fact that as you carefully pulled it out of your bag—treating it like fragile glass—multiple letters fell out. You noticed them right away. They were yours—carefully written letters she'd never dared to answer. The envelopes ripped open showed you she defenetly read them all. You dont know how to feel about that yet. Relieved that she cared enough to read them? Happy becasue she carried your letters with her, doesnt matter where shed go? Or mad, because she never replied? You know nothing. The only thing you're able to do now is bury yourself in the book, reading what Ellie never dared to say out loud.

''Ive been having a hard time adjusting, I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting. I didn't know if you'd care if I came back, I have a lot of regrets about that. Pulled the car off the road to the lookout, Could've followed my fears all the way down. And maybe I don't quite know what to say but I'm here in your doorway. I just wanted you to know that this is me trying'' 

The words cut deeper than a knife,

before you knew it, your eyes traveled to the next phrases, crossed out, you could barely read them:

"It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you.

Seeing you with Sophie burns me from inside out.

Why are you with her?

I know I don't own you, perhaps I never will,

so the anger inside of me when I see you with her

is something I'm not allowed to feel.

What I feel, I shouldn't show you.

So when you're around, I don't.

I let you walk away with her.

I know I don't have the right to feel it,

but it doesn't mean I don't."

The rest of the book was empty, besides some skteches of eyes that look dangerously like yours. You swallowed hard, not really sure of what you should feel. You re-read the sentences out loud, letting the bittersweet aftertaste of them making you feel alive. Your heart has been Ellies since the first time you both laughed together; yet you were so sure of the fact that she would never feel the same. Considering the words in the journal, maybe it wasnt one sided after all. Youre confused, being with Sophia was easy, comftable. But with ellie, it was different. better. You miss the butterflies in your stomach, miss her touch and her closeness. The rollercoster was everything you ever had, after all.

Two days of full selfishness carried its weight, and you continued to keep the journal. The guilt crept in, stealthy as shadows, finding you at night, when the world slept and your thoughts roamed free. Those written pages from Ellie, inked with longing and crossed-out confessions, haunted your mind. You tried your best to hide the pain, a fragile masquerade. Distancing yourself from Sophia and Jesse, you walked the tightrope of deception. It wasn't deliberate; it was survival. The what-could've-been danced like a ghost, whispering secrets in your ear. You wondered if Ellie's heart echoed the same unspoken words.

Sophia, her presence a comforting harbor, yet her touch felt like borrowed warmth. And Jesse, his eyes— The guilt gnawed at you, a relentless hunger. You held Sophia too close, fearing Ellie's phantom gaze. You looked into Jesse's eyes, and the lie about keeping the Journal tasted bitter on your tongue.  Ellie, elusive as a wisp of smoke. The barn encounter—the air thick with unspoken truths—left you breathless. You havent seen her since. You called in sick for the patrol meeting, a desperate escape from the inevitable. The fear of facing her again, of unraveling the fragile equilibrium, gripped your heart.

In the quiet of your room, the journal lay open. The crossed-out phrases, the sketches of eyes—they were your silent companions.

——————————————————-

"Okay, Miss being all sad and distant, I'm not having this anymore. Tell me what's going on right now or I'm killing you," Jesse declared, pressing past you as you opened the door. His urgency hung in the air, a storm brewing behind his eyes.

"Jesus, very aggressive today, aren't we?" you quipped, trailing after your friend into the living room. The door closed behind you, sealing you both in a cocoon of tension. You sank into the couch, and Jesse settled next to you, his gaze drilling holes into your soul."Therapy session. Now. What's going on?" His hands clasped together, a makeshift gavel. The room felt smaller, suffocating. You glanced at the coffee table, considering the whiskey bottle, but thought better of it. "Nothing? Do you want to drink anything... or?" Your voice played innocent, a fragile mask. Jesse wasn't fooled. "The jury says stop trying to change the subject." His tone held a mix of exasperation and concern."The jury...?" You grinned, despite the weight in your chest. "Yeah, me." Jesse's eyes softened, and you chuckled. "It's nothing, really.“

"You're completely distant," he said, his voice calm. "Even Sophia asked me if I have any idea what's going on." The truth hung between you like a fragile thread, ready to snap.

"I don't know... it's, urgh, weird." You fidgeted with the edge of a cushion. Jesse leaned closer, his breath warm against your cheek. "Tell me!" His insistence bordered on desperation

"Okay, but promise me not to hate me?" You gave him a side-eye, afraid of meeting his gaze head-on. "Could never hate you," he replied, and the words carried weight. So you spilled it—the secret you'd harbored, the journal you'd found.

Ellie's words, inked and crossed out, danced in your memory. You didn't reveal the exact phrasing, but you shared the confusion—the way her emotions bled through the pages. Jesse listened, his eyes wide, and you wondered if he saw the echoes of your own heartache.

In that quiet room, the truth hung heavy. You'd kept Ellie's words hidden, but now they spilled forth. Jesse's hand found yours, and you clung to it, hoping for absolution. "It's Ellie," you whispered. "It's always been Ellie."  His silence spoke volumes, eyes carrying the weight of unspoken understanding. He'd always sensed your feelings for Ellie, perhaps even before you did. It wasn't a secret to anyone but her—the way your heart gravitated toward her, like a moth drawn to a flame. “You guys need to talk.” Jesse said.

"I can't," you whispered, the words fragile on your tongue. The weight of unspoken truths pressed against your chest, threatening to spill forth."And why the fuck not? What do you have to lose?" Jesse's voice held a mix of frustration and concern. He saw through your defenses, stripped away the layers you'd carefully woven. Ellie��the enigma, the ache—loomed between you like a shadow."Afraid of losing her? I think you already archived that." His bluntness cut through your heart. You knew it too well—the missed chances, the crossed-out phrases, the silence that echoed louder than words. Jesse could see the pain in you and the bluntless paired with that slight tinge of what appeared to be anger slowly disappeared into thin air, much like the smoke of a lit cigarette blown into the night sky.

"Look" he begins, sighing while he considers the phrasing of this. He means no harm, but being too gentle could erase the importance of the situation "I want to help you, but you cannot hide yourself away. If you truly want this girl, you need to be able to put in the effort. Dina and Ellie arent dating either, dina told me herself that the two of them thought there was something but ended up with nothing. Be honest with yourself, but also with everyone else" You exhale deeply, relief floods your system despite the heavy heart still pounding against your chest.

Jesse is the kind of friend you can never let go. He's just that important.

Between the soft tunes of comfortingly familiar songs and a few shed tears, the two of you scheme together... Creating a, hopefully, foolproof plan on how to finally approach the elephant in the room. Ellie and you; it wasn't over, was it?

[manhandlememando]

Main Masterlist

•Series Masterlists•

Gravity Series

MDNI warning: this work does contain content not suitable for those under the age of 18. please refrain from reading if you are under the age of 18, you’ve been warned.

(series is still ongoing)

din djarin x f!reader

excerpt: "'Cyare… of course, all the time you need, anything you want,' he says and all he wants to do is hold her once again, becoming akin to the feeling of her skin to his. Din was always most at peace with her in his arms, finding solace in the dark of their sleeping courters the past couple of nights. The gravitas of her was forceful enough to disrupt the trajectory of a Mandalorian, and Din was starting to realize he didn’t want it any other way."

The Alcott Series

(series is still ongoing)

jay halstead x f!reader, frank castle x f!reader

chicago pd x the punisher crossover

teaser: It wasn’t meant to devolve into what it had, Frank knew that and yet it was somehow all his fault. His heart snagging on the one thing he swore it wouldn’t. He should have left, he should have let her be happy with him, let the whole thing lie. But he couldn’t. Now he’s ducking his head, hiding his face below the rim of a baseball cap as he makes his way through the crowded lobby of the hotel. He glances up just once and as he does his heart seizes in his chest, his breath becoming shallow as he meets the eyes of the woman who threw a wrench in his whole life. However, he had consequently done the same to hers, now leading them to the one spot in Chicago they could agree upon; The Alcott

•House of the Dragon•

i’ll beg whatever gods i need to. | cregan stark

MDNI warning: this work does contain content not suitable for those under the age of 18. please refrain from reading if you are under the age of 18, you’ve been warned.

one-shot

cregan stark x f!wife!reader

excerpt: Whatever angelic being had blessed this world with his form, she begged of it to leave him with her. However broken or scarred, she didn’t care, she just needed him. With tears streaking her face she looked up to the heavens in anguish, begging anyone who could hear her to please, let him come back to me.

- or -

cregan gets mauled by a direwolf.

loving you is a bloodsport. | cregan stark

MDNI warning: this work does contain content not suitable for those under the age of 18. please refrain from reading if you are under the age of 18, you’ve been warned.

one-shot

cregan stark x f!mormont!reader

excerpt: The growl that escaped the beast reverberated throughout the small pit, being felt within the chests of all the men spectating. However, fear eluded her as she looked into the animals eyes, accepting her fate with a fury. The cry that left her as she charged the creature could have caused even the most barbarous of warriors to quell in fear. Dodging the swipe of its large paws, she lunges forward with the small blade that was provided to her. If she is to die here, it will be a death of integrity knowing she was more like the beast in front of her than anything as meek as the men watching from above. They will not take my strength, she thought as the claws of the grizzly descended upon her.

- or -

Lady Stark is abducted in the night from the walls of Winterfell by a vassal house of the Starks. Thinking that by placing his wife into the jaws of a grizzly, the Warden of the North would bend to their will. They do not know how mistaken they are.

[4townlove]

4⭐ Town Headcanons: Home from Tour

after 5 months on the road, touring all over the country and bringing the wonder of 4Town to the masses, the lights are down, the doors have closed and the music has faded away.

it's time for the boys of 4Town to head home to you, their one and only, and get some much needed and earned rest and relaxation before their next comeback.

But who will you open the door to?

Who will you welcome home?

⭐ Robaire

⭐ Jesse

⭐ Taeyoung

⭐ Aaron T

⭐ Aaron Z

[sleepyfaequeen]

Little Accidents

Chapter: 1

Warnings: xfem!reader, reader is in her early 20s, Jack Morrison is bisexual for story purposes. Don't like that, don't read. I don't think I have to explain that it's fanfiction and shouldn't be taken seriously. If that triggers you, do not read this fic.

A/n: Unsure who I should ship reader with but we shall see.

Summary: You find out something that you shouldn't have found out, but here we are. That's what you get for eavesdropping.

Song:

(Y/n) had become a part of Blackwatch for a few months now, and the constant training was always different, but joining Overwatch had become her dream. When she joined as a soldier, she was surprised that she would soon be joining a black ops group who was hand-picked by Commander Reyes himself. To work under someone who's well respected and knows what he's doing was a big honor. Not only that, but for some reason, she had noticed Commander Morrison has been watching over their training exercises. He would actually even compliment her. It surprised her at first, but she knew he probably did that to those he saw with potential. She always saw him talking to Gabriel in the distance, arguing about something, but regardless, it always seemed to calm down.

Today, she was walking to Commander Reyes' office to return some needed files that needed to be filled out and given to Doctor Moira. But she stopped in her tracks as soon as she heard Reyes and Morrison arguing. She knew it was bad to eavesdrop but she did it anyway.

"Absolutely not." Reyes' gruff voice came.

"I'm not asking you. I'm demanding that she be removed from you're squad." Jack could be heard sounding angry and less composed than he usually did.

"Why would I do that?" Gabriel shifts in his seat as he crosses his arms.

"Why?" She leans in, her curious blue eyes looking inside. Seeing Jack turn as he rubs a gloved hand over his face as he takes a moment to answer. "You got my kid in there."

".. What?" Gabriel tilts his head, seeming confused.

"I had a fling when I was young and.." He explains and Gabriel just laughs.

"Is it Cassidy?" Reyes jokes to which Jack scoffs.

"No, it's obvious who." The two lock eyes and (Y/n) can't help but jump as she feels a hand touch her arm. Seeing Captain Amari there made her completely freak out.

"(Y/n)? What's wrong? You look like you seen a ghost." She looks down at her concerned, and (Y/n) can't help but tighten her grip on the stack of papers in her gloved hands.

"No, I'm honestly fine..!" She could hear the two Commanders approaching the doorway and she quickly, shoves the papers into her chest before running down the hall and into the elevator as she turns she could see Commander Jack looks down the hall, her way, as the doors shut with a ding of the elevator.

She felt her heart beating so fast and her head spinning as she felt her entire face in a cold sweat. As the elevator stops, she finds herself aimlessly walking around. She wasn't sure what time it was when she found herself within the Blackwatch members' corridor room. She found her fingers shaking as she kept mistyping her own room code with multiple beeps being heard. She exhales as she stops herself for a moment.

Something about the new girl was off today. She looked rather tense, or at least that is what Genji's eyes could tell. To him, she was just another member, another teammate. A freak but she looked much more normal than the rest of them. More normal than him. Though he usually avoided conversations so he never thought of talking to her or much of anyone. Unless absolutely necessary circumstances. He resented them all for being.. human. It reminded him of what he was not. Of what was taken away from him.

The days in Overwatch was always the same. Everyday, to him, went by quickly and was just as empty as usual. Genji had his own routine like anyone else: training, meetings, more training, then showers. Perhaps the best part of his day. He was always grateful to feel the warmth of the shower against his torn flesh. Unlike his added cybernetic side, it could feel. He walked down the halls to the Blackwatch private quarters, with his towel hanging over and around his neck. Only in his gym shorts as his augments were showing. Stopping as he watched her fumble with her door passcode. "Needing help or something?" He asked her softly as he was more curious today about her expression. He was surprising himself since he rarely talked to other people, but she looked like she could use a hand.

She almost bit her own tongue as the robotic voice had startled her. Her head turning and her eyes blinking away any sort of distress as her fingers fumbled with the key card.

"Uh.. I.. I think I got it." Again, the beeping was still denying her access to her own quarters. She lowers her head as she steps aside and gestures for him to have a try. "Have at it. I swear I forget sometimes." She looks at him as she smiles and rubs the back of her neck as she hands him her keycard. "Code is 8170."

She never knew the cyborg ninja guy even talked. Well, he could she just has never really talked to him before. Only during missions there was usually nothing but nods or hand gestures. He would sigh or scoff and with the plate over his mouth it sounds more robotic. She's heard stories from others around the base and how he was so skilled. Some people would even think he was hard to look at but no one would dare tell him to his face. Honestly, with Genji's red cybernetic eyes, he looked like he could kill someone easily and he probably could. She didn't know him much but she knew he was usually a quiet guy and he seemed to like his solitude. Sometimes, Cassidy would talk to him and she swore Genji would roll his eyes but endure McCree's rambling.

His hand moved to type in the code after memorizing it and her repeating it quietly. His breathing could be heard from behind his mask as he typed in the last few digit numbers. The door to her room sliding open with a small green light on the keypad. He steps back and hands her the keycard.

"The codes are picky, sometimes you have to type them in slow." He said as his eyes looked at her for a mere moment in silence as he stepped back. Turning to walk to his own room as he takes out his own keycard.

".. Training will be early tomorrow." He said as he got to his own door and typed in his own code.

"Yeah.." she said as she steps inside her room and watches Genji walk over to him before her eyes met his. "Thank you, I'll be seeing you.. tomorrow." She said and he gives her a nod before heading into his room before pressing a button to let the doors close and lock and she did the same.

She sighs as she hangs her head low before going to her desk and immediately went to look at an old photo of her and her mother. Her mother never had the chance to tell her much about her father but the fact she unintentionally found him wasn't a coincidence. She just hoped whatever led them towards each other wasn't for the worst.

[babygirlrex0504]

Masterlist

Hello my fello Star Wars lovers! I had an old Masterlist going on but it was a bit too much 😅 So here is the new one, I will show updated stories and upcoming ones. I do take requests of any kind, I can make short stories or couple of parts. I also have a taglist for some of my fics and if you want to be tagged in some that will be just short fics. 😌 ‘*’ means there is smutty smut!

If you have ANY suggestions! Let me know, I am open for anything so don’t hesitate if it’s kinky to angsty. 👀

Taglist form

Series

The Mandalorian

Bounty Series*

Book One (Completed)

Book Two (Ongoing)

Clan of Three Series* (Ongoing)

Clone Wars

Star Crossed* (Captain Rex x OC, in the works)

The Bar Named 99* (Commander Wolffe x Reader, in the works)

Shorts

Clone Wars

Tragedies (Jesse x Reader, in the works)

Dancing with your Ghost* (Fives x Reader, in works)

Bad Batch

Enchanted* (Hunter x Reader, in the works)

Mantell Mix (Wrecker x Reader, in the works)

As the World Caves In (Tech x Reader, in the works)

[asskickedbygirl]

can you write a jess imagine pls? maybe him and the reader are together behind bam’s back (him and the reader are best friends) and he’s oblivious and the other guys know but take the piss and bam’s really confused?

maybe add a bit where bam finds out and is pissed?

Hush Hush

[Jess Margera x F!Reader]

Desc: anon covered it (:

A/n: sorry i disappeared again, i was writing a jess fic but then this req came through and it was better than what i was writing so !

warnings: brief smut (18+), alcohol

1.7k words

⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ 

"I have to go." You whispered as Jess' face remained buried in your neck.

"Noooo." He grumbled, pulling you in tighter.

"Come on, Bam's gonna be up soon, I have to leave."

You felt his beard graze against you, arms still firmly pressing your body against his under the sheets.

"Fine." He spoke lowly, finally releasing you.

You shimmied out from the covers, stumbling around the room in search of your clothes that had been discarded the night prior. Jess watched as you threw your CKY shirt back over your head and pulled up your sweatpants, combing your hair with your fingers as there was a lack of anything to fix it with in Jess' room.

"Remind me why you have to sneak out every night like we're sixteen?" Jess laughed making your eyes roll.

"Because, I haven't told Bam we're you know-"

"Humping?"

You scoffed, walking over to the bed again and planting a kiss on Jess' lips.

"You always put it so nicely!"

And with that you creeped out of your *kinda* boyfriend's bedroom and made your way down the stairs, only to be met with none other than the one person you were seeking to avoid.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Bam's hair was all roughed up as he held a bottle of orange juice.

You really wished no one from the kitchen was able to see the bottom of the stairs at that point.

"Oh Jess drove me home from the bar and said I could sleep in your guest room. Thought you knew."

You were lying through your teeth of course but it seemed like Bam was buying what you were selling as he shrugged.

"Whatever. You want breakfast or something?"

***

Jess' hand found itself at the small of your back, pushing you against him as you made out roughly, your head against the wall but your fingers threading into his hair and pulling it softly. Your teeth and tongue clashed, his leg slotting itself between yours, low whimpers to be heard. No one else had showed up to the green room yet and it was times like these where make out sessions were at their best and most desperate. Before things could escalate any further the door opened, Chad stumbling in, beer in hand and laughing too hard at something to notice what you and Jess had been up to despite the fact it wouldn't have been the first time he walked in on the two of you. You both pulled away from each other, wiping your mouths and pretending like you had just been talking normally.

"Oh chill out love birds, Bam isn't here yet." Chad scoffed, noticing the way you were now standing awkwardly away from each other.

"Shut up Chad." You rolled your eyes and headed to grab a beer from the crappy mini fridge in the corner.

"What? It's not like the two of you are very good at hiding it. It's a wonder he hasn't picked up on it already."

"I mean we'll tell him eventually... I just don't know how." Jess responded for you, tearing down the illusion you were at least trying to maintain.

"Thanks Jess." You rolled your eyes, cracking two beers open with the edge of the table and sitting yourself next to Jess on the couch he had now situated himself on, handing him a bottle.

"What? They know."

You rolled your eyes again and sipped your drink.

"I mean I'd like to tell Bam but he's gonna flip his shit. He used to go crazy when I had a crush on you back in high school, what's he gonna do when he finds out I'm banging you."

"Wait, you had a crush on me?" Jess smiled widely, throwing an arm over your shoulder making you roll your eyes for the third time.

"Shut up you already knew that."

"I know I just like to relish in it sometimes."

Before you could punch Jess in the arm the door swung open, Jess moving his arm swiftly off of you. Bam, Dico, Ryan and Raab wandered in, immediately heading over to grab a beer. Chad tried to hide his smirk as you and Jess moved further away from each other, to ease suspicions of course. Dico jumped across the room to land right beside you, pulling you in tightly.

"Haven't seen you in a while, you're always with fucking Jess now."

You swallowed the lump in your throat at the passing comment, hoping and praying Bam wouldn't pick up on it but he seemed too preoccupied on trying to open his beer to notice.

"Oh well, you know."

Dico laughed.

"I know? Well yeah I know you and Jess are fu-"

You quickly clamped your hand around Dico's mouth, Chad bursting into laughter, much to your dismay.

"Sshhh!" You spat, nodding over to the still-oblivious Bam, reluctantly removing your hand.

"Oh come on, he doesn't know?!"

You shook your head.

"And if you tell him I'll kill you. I'm serious."

Dico rolled his eyes.

"Fine, but you know you're gonna have to tell him eventually, he'll find out one way or another."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." You sighed.

***

You and Jess had been... a thing for a month now yet Bam was still unaware of any of it. Sure you had come pretty close a few times, having to hide in Jess' closet or stay silent in the shower as Bam started yelling at his brother on the other side of the door. You had to admit it was pretty fun sneaking around but when the initial excitement wore off it was more of a nuisance than anything else. You didn't really enjoy keeping a secret from your best friend, especially when the secret was that you were screwing his brother and so you decided you were just gonna tell him! Fuck it! You would finally spill your guts that night at Kildare's when he was drunk enough that he wouldn't kick up a storm. It was settled.

Jess' hand was pressed over your lips as it so often was when he was inside you, his hips snapping against yours with every thrust. You tried your best to suppress your moans but every now and then a whimper would slip through Jess' fingers, the faint noise of the headboard hitting the wall also not helping. Tears brimmed at your eyes as Jess hit the spot deep inside you, his other hand holding your hips down as he fucked you. Soon enough you were coming, moan only a low vibrate against Jess' skin. He removed his hand to grip your other hip tightly, thrusting faster to get himself to the edge, your head lulling back against the pillow as he spilled into you, groaning as quietly as he could.

You lay quiet and panting before Jess could pull out of you, him planting a kiss to your lips before going to find something to clean you up with. You shut your eyes and brought the back of your hand up to rest against your forehead, catching your breath.

"We gotta tell him tonight Jess. I don't know how much quiet fucking I can do."

Jess laughed under his breath, picking up an old shirt and moving to wipe your heat.

"Can you not talk about my brother right after we fuck. Also even if he does know he's gonna wanna hear us hump even less."

"Good point." You laughed.

Jess smiled as he admired you nude on his bed.

"We'll tell him tonight, he's gotta know I'm the lucky bastard that gets to bang you."

You both grinned as Jess leaned forward to kiss you for a moment.

"I'll get you water hold on."

Jess slipped on his boxers and left his room to head downstairs. You lay waiting for him only for the door to open a moment later, however, it wasn't the brother you wanted who wandered in. You quickly pulled the sheets up to cover your body out of instinct though Bam's eyes were trained at the ground, kicking Jess' clothes around seemingly in search for something.

"Fucking reeks in here. Why does he jerk off so fucking loud?" He mumbled under his breath.

You could've hid under the sheets at that point or jumped out the fucking window but you were paralysed with fear, simply gawking at the guy picking up dirty laundry off the floor and muttering like a mad man. You gulped quietly, fearing what the hell was gonna happen when Bam eventually moved his eyes up to find his best friend naked in his brother's bed.

"Where's my fucking shirt, I know he has it." He grumbled.

That's when his movements stopped, his eyes widening as well as his smile as he snatched up your bra.

"Jessie Ma-" Bam stopped suddenly, the straightening of his back meaning he was now staring right at you, your bra strap hanging round his fingers.

You gawked right back, terrified expression on your face as Bam was yet to compute what the fuck was going on.

"What the fuck?!" He spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Bam we were gonna-"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

The door swung open once again, Jess looking exposed too with a glass of water in hand. Bam flicked his head to face his brother, then back at you, then back to Jess.

"YOU TWO ARE FUCKING?!"

Jess bit his lip, cringing internally.

"I swear we were gonna tell you tonight it just-" You let out but were quickly cut off by a frantic Bam.

"No, no! Fuck this! You guys can't fuck that's- that's not!"

Jess put his hand out, as if to calm Bam like he was a wild animal.

"It's fine Bam, really it's all fine."

Bam just shook his head, whether it was in pure disbelief or out of anger.

"How long-? Does everyone else know?!"

You and Jess shot each other nervous glances.

"I mean kinda. And not that long."

Bam put his head in his hands.

"Honestly I'm just gonna bleach my eyes out and maybe drink the bleach too."

Bam pushed himself out of the room shaking his head and whispering low "What the fuck?!"s under his breath as the door shut, leaving you and Jess in an awkward silence.

"Well that went about as well as expected." You laughed, covering your mouth with your hand.

Jess shook his head, matching your laughter.

End.

@gnarkillknoxville @steve-osahottie @alex-abn0rmal @stratossphere @jackussy420 @lovexjoe

"He'll get used to it."

[crushh-existz]

Hot & Heavy

Masterlist

Mood Board (0)

Back In Town? (1) Before you went to university in NYC, you and your childhood bestfriend, Ellie, had a pretty messy fight and haven't talked since. Dina convinced you to move back to Jackson after you graduated to get some work just until you can settle down in a nearby city. You needed the money while you soft-launched your photograghy business and you missed your friends and family anyway. Dina swears up and down that Ellie moved away years ago and you were stupid enough to trust her.

Fabricated Reassurance (2) After Ellie’s hunting trip with Joel (3 days of hell as she describes it) it was back to work at JJ’s daycare for her. Even after a week, the thought of you being back in town never stopped making rounds in her brain and she decided to talk to Dina more about it, see what you’ve been up to. NOT to stalk…. And most definitely not because she misses you. She just wants to make sure you’re not in town…

Daycare (3)

Forced Alliances (4)

??? (5)

[vodika-vibes]

Hi vod'ika! Congrats on the 650!!

For the event, could I request a Jesse fic 😍 set in the same Mermaid/soulmate au as your Tup fic.

Maybe Jesse helping his Cya're get used to her tail? Or whatever you want, just my first brush 😋

Thank you!

Don't Worry, I Have You

Summary: It’s done, after one long year, the binding is done, and you’re a mermaid. Just one problem. You don’t know how to swim.

Pairing: ARC Trooper Jesse x F!Reader

Word Count: 980

Prompt: Mermaid AU

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly @the-bad-batch-baroness @kimiheartblade

A/N: I wanted this to be longer, but my brain decided that it was done wording. I hope you enjoy it! I can't wait until I can sit at my computer again. One more week.

The magic washes over you, cool and soothing, like a hand pressed against your forehead when you’re sick. It feels like a homecoming, like this is how you have always meant to be. 

You worried about so many things about today. That you would make a mistake, that you would ruin the binding, that the magic would reject you. You worried about what your tail would look like, worried that Jesse would no longer want you when you were mer (a ridiculous worry, but anxiety is a bitch), worried that the transformation would hurt, worry that you would panic the first time you tried to breathe underwater—

But now that you’re here and the transformation is over, all of those fears have vanished. 

You blink over at Jesse, who’s watching you with a look of such adoration on his handsome face that you lift your hands to cover your face. Or, that’s your plan, until you catch sight of your tail.

It’s shorter than Jesse’s, though your fins are longer and a lot more flowy. Your scales are a darker shade of blue than Jesse’s own, and you have a lot fewer white scales than him, your colors appearing to be more dark blue and gray, rather than the vibrant blue and white of Jesse. 

If you had to explain it in a word, Jesse’s tail looks more streamlined while you look more decorative.

You open your mouth to ask something, only to realize that you’re sinking. “Uh…?” It’s at that very moment that you realize that you have no idea how to move your tail. You try to move your tail, your face scrunching up in thought, but all you manage to do is flip yourself upside down.

Above you, Jesse laughs, warm and bright, sounding genuinely amused. Though you’re relieved when you feel his hands on your hips as he repositions you so that you’re upright again.

He keeps one hand on your hip while the other one moves to cup your face.

You close your eyes and rub your cheek against his rough hand, “How do I look?” You ask without opening your eyes.

“Perfect, just like I knew you would.” Jesse replies, and you open your eyes to see that he’s staring at your face. There’s a look of such adoration on his face that you can’t help but smile at him.

“My tail is darker than yours.”

“Safety thing. Women have darker scales to keep them safe from predators.” Jesse explains, “Babies are darker too.” He adds.

That makes sense, you decide after a moment of thought. It’s how it works with birds, at least.

“How are you feeling?” Jesse asks, his voice gentle. “I know you were pretty anxious for the last couple of days.”

You wrap your arms around him comfortably and consider his question, “Now that the binding is done,” You finally say, “A lot of my anxiety has faded. Some of my anxieties were a bit silly, thinking back.”

“Not silly. I couldn’t prepare you for everything, so they made sense.” Jesse corrects as he leans in and bumps his forehead against yours, “Have all of your concerns faded, then?”

You nod, and then smile at him, “There’s just one more concern.”

“Oh?”

Your smile turns sheepish, “I can’t seem to figure out how to swim.”

He grins, “I had noticed that.” Jesse pulls away from you and presses a quick kiss against your lips. “I’ll help you.”

“I won’t get in the way of you swimming?” You ask nervously.

“Never.” He pulls away and holds out his hands to you, and you immediately take them.

Jesse pulls you through the water, out of the chamber where the transformation happens, and into deeper water. Your hands tighten nervously around his hands, and he squeezes your hands reassuringly.

“It’s okay, cyare.” He says soothingly, “Don’t worry, I have you.”

Your anxiety fades almost instantaneously. Jesse would never let anything hurt you, you know this with the same confidence that you know that the sun will rise in the morning.

“There we go,” Jesse murmurs as he moves closer to you, “Just relax.” He releases one of your hands and presses it soothingly against your hip, “You’re doing great, cyare. Can you feel the water against your fins?”

“Mmhmm,”

“Excellent job,” Jesse praises, “Can you try and move your side fin for me sweetheart?”

“I…how?”

He hums thoughtfully, and then presses a quick kiss against your lips, before he swims several feet away. You almost panic when you start sinking, but then, it’s like something snaps into place, and you’re able to find your tail. 

“Excellent job,” Jesse says with a grin as you keep yourself on level with him, “Now. Come over to me and get a kiss.”

You huff good naturedly as you turn your head to look at him. For a moment you don’t move, but then, slowly, you manage to turn and swim the short distance between you and Jesse.

He grins at you and sweeps you into his arms as you stop in front of him, his lips falling heavily against yours. “Stars, I love you.” he breathes against your lips, “Look at you, picking up swimming so quickly.” He peppers feather light kisses all over your face for long enough that you dissolve into giggles.

You reach up and cup his face, “I love you too. So much.” Your smile widens, “And now you’re all mine.”

“Was always all yours,” Jesse corrects, “Now we’re just part of the same world.” He kisses you one more time, and then pulls away, “Now that you have the basics down, let’s go home. I want to show you our grotto. I’ve been perfecting it for months.”

You swim over to him and take his hand, “Show me the way?”

His gaze is bright as his eyes lock with yours, “Always.”

[burntsaltsblog]

i need oldman! logan so bad😭

old man logan thoughts & musings

a/n: idk what this is. i'm supposed to be working on my fics, but this hit me so hard i felt like i got punched. so i kinda had to share it. the way i want to eat this man alive scares me.

warnings: 18+ only please! um...feral old man logan, squirting, he loses his mind.

Old man!Logan who can't go at it the way he once did. But is still adamant on making you finish however you want. Who takes orders a little better, follows your lead without issue. Who wants to be good for you with an equal amount of fervor that you are for him.

Old man!Logan who has been lapping at your pussy for near an hour. Pulling climax after climax out of your weak body. Yet begs you for one more. For another gush of your slick to pour into his mouth like ambrosia once did for the gods.

Old man!Logan who's been rutting into the mattress, his jeans undone and cock out. He couldn't exactly pinpoint when he started leaking like a fucking faucet. Sometime between the couch, the wall, and the bed. Who is desperate to fuck you, but the bed feels so good and his mind has gone hazy.

Old man!Logan who cums with a muffled shout at the exact time you squirt in his open and waiting mouth. He's so far gone he can't even feel ashamed. Rutting his hips into the soft bed with pained grunts of your name. His fingers pounding into your soaked pussy, until a puddle begins to form on the covers. Your screams is loud enough to rattle the walls - his are pathetic enough to make him blush crimson.

Old man!Logan who apologizes profusely with kisses lined in your cum. Pressing I'm sorry baby I'll fuck you in the morning against your temple. Laving That's never happened to me before. Tastes so fuckin' good I lost my head against your peaked nipple. Later in the morning he'll be embarrassed for spurting so hard against the mattress he swore he saw God in your pussy.

Old man!Logan who passes out without nightmares as you clean him up with your tongue. Come daytime he'll be hard again, willing to pound you into the filthy bed so hard the frame snaps. But finds his mind is never so at ease when he has you like this.

note: please don't look at me. i am so feral for him it's driving me insane actually.

[whimsyfinny]

Sexy F*cking Nerd

Dean Winchester x F!Reader

Summary: When Dean discovers a little secret of (Y/n)'s during a case research session he can't help but let temptation get the best of him.

Warnings: Language, Smut, Fingering, PinV, Oral (M receiving), slight angst if you squint, Dean having a glasses kink (not really a warning but not everyone wears them hahaha lucky bastards)

MDNI! 18+

Word Count: 5688

A/N: It's taken a little while but here is the second competition winner from a few weeks back, the prompt provided by the wonderful @foxyjwls007 - I hope you like it!

The motel room was stuffy to say the least - that usual aroma of stale cigarettes and cheap air freshener lingering around us. There was a dripping sound coming from God knows where and the AC hummed in between the concerning clinking from deep within the vents. It was crap. So crap. But it was home for a few nights; just like all the motel rooms that came before. Dean stepped past me and over the threshold, immediately slinging his duffle and jacket onto his chosen bed. He stretched his arms above his head, the grey Henley clutching his muscular abdomen and rising enough to flaunt what lay beneath. I sighed, following him in and slumping onto the bed beside his - the musty stench from the sheets enveloping me.

“Well…” Dean started, pulling Sam's laptop out of his bag and placing it on the small table by the window.

“Well…?” My voice echoed as I focused on the ceiling fan that spun off centre.

“...This is… nice?” His statement was more of a question as he looked around with raised eyebrows. I propped myself up on my elbows, flashing him a look of speculation.

“Seriously?” A moment passed before he huffed a long-held breath and slapped his large palms on his thighs.

“No of course not, this place sucks more dick than a hooker on payday.”

“You got that right,” I flopped back down onto the bed, a small dust cloud erupting under my weight. I closed my eyes and listened as Dean pulled a chair out from under the table, slumping down into it. Then there was the familiar click of the laptop opening followed by the sound of stuttered not-quite-touch-typing, presumably he was starting work on the case that we’d come here to investigate. The tap tap tap of whatever was leaking began to drill into my brain, my patience already wearing thin with the rooms dire ambiance. I pulled myself up to sitting, criss-crossing my legs on the bed and brushing whatever that dust from the bedding was off my sweater sleeves.

“When's Sam back?” I asked, watching as Dean searched the keyboard in front of him for some long lost letter.

“Uuuh, I'm not sure. He said to work this case without him.”

“Ugghhh, I bet he's having way more fun than us right now, it's not fair,” I plopped my chin into my palm and stared past the older Winchester out the window, almost willing Sam to appear and walk in like any other day.

“It's just some dumb wedding, I doubt he's having that much fun.”

I scoffed before I could stop myself, Dean breaking eye contact with the screen to throw me a raised eyebrow.

“Look,” I collected myself, “you didn't know Sam in college. He won't admit it but he was popular. Really popular. Not the total nerd you think he is. He's absolutely having fun with these people.”

“Yeah right. So who's at this wedding anyway? Why was it so important that he just had to be there?”

I rolled my eyes, knowing full well Sam had already told him all the details. Typical Dean.

“It's for a couple of friends who he and Jess were close with back then. Pretty sure the bride was prom queen in highschool or something and the groom was a trust fund jock. Either way, not my crowd,” I sighed slightly, memories from my college days flooding my mind.

Deans eyebrows twitched into a small frown, his thoughts seeming to cloud his vision for a second before he reluctantly dismissed them. I looked down into my lap for a moment, reminiscing how I always kept my distance from Sam whilst at Stanford, but he had always been that boy that would make my heart flutter when he spoke up in class or when I'd see him on the quad with his friends. I remember seeing him with his nose in a book once at my usual desk in the library, my cheeks burning when he caught me staring. Who would've thought several years down the line I'd be sat in a bottom-rung motel room with his obscenely good looking older brother researching monster lore. At least we would be researching monster lore, if it wasn't for the small growl my empty stomach had gurgled out. I couldn't stop the small pulse of embarrassment burning into my cheeks as Dean eyed me with a grin.

“Wanna get some lunch?” He asked, standing up like he already knew my answer.

“Fuck yes. I'm feeling burgers,” I shuffled to the edge of the bed and stood up, watching as Dean shrugged on his leather jacket and headed to the door, holding it open for me.

“Now you're speaking my language.”

*

The diner was almost as sad and withered as the motel room, however the food was nothing short of spectacular. I watched in awe as Dean polished off his second burger, a small glob of sauce sticking to his stubble and threatening to drip off his chin. He must've felt me watching in wonder - or perhaps disgust - as when he looked up from his plate he shot me a questioning glance.

“What?” His tone was a little defensive through the mouthful of fries he'd just shovelled in. I took a second before asking, half-genuine:

“Where do you put all of that?”

“Put what?”

“The food - where does it go? Do you have hollow legs? Two stomachs? Does it just evaporate as soon as you swallow it?”

He grinned, wiping the sauce from his face with a napkin.

“Goes straight to the abs baby. It's muscle fuel,” he leant back in his chair, stretching a little before patting his stomach to punctuate his statement. I simply rolled my eyes.

“Yeah right, you're not that muscly Dean.”

“How would you know? You've never seen me with my shirt off.”

“I know, and I plan to keep it that way.”

He feigned a pout before returning to his fries. We ate in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, my mind absently going back to all the lore we should be trying to gather. I gripped my milkshake that had so generously been served in a thin paper cup, attempting to suck the practically solid beverage up the equally thin paper straw. Finding the nearest library would be the next task on our to-do list, despite the protesting I know I'll get from Dean.

“Hey, (Y/n)?” My train of thought was derailed at the sound of my name. The slurping of over-thickened milkshake from myself ceased.

“What's up?”

“What were you like in college?”

I eyed him with caution, wondering what part of his brain was in control right now.

“What do you wanna know?”

Catching the wariness to divulge him to such information, he smiled slightly, shrugging his shoulders.

“I'm not asking to be weird, I just-” he paused, choosing his next words tactfully, “the way you described Sam as being a totally different person - some hot-shot with the perfect grades, popular friends and a girlfriend like Jess - it just got me thinking. How would Sam have described you?”

I almost spat my dairy-goop back into the straw, my brain freezing.

“Dean,” I started before planning what I was going to say, placing my cup on the table. “Sam wouldn't be able to describe me.”

My words brought a small smirk to his lips.

“You were that hot, huh?”

“What the fuck- no- I wasn't- he didn't- Sam never- ” I stopped myself before I had an aneurysm and took a deep breath.

“I was in a totally different crowd to Sam. He was always surrounded by people and, well, I barely even had a crowd.”

“Lone wolf?”

“Bingo. But definitely not the cool, collected, stoic type. Think more, invisible to the public eye, always carrying books, and borderline selective mute because of how shy I was.”

“Oh… what changed?,” Deans tone changed entirely, genuine intrigue seeming to take the wheel. I couldn't help but laugh slightly, remembering my method to forcing myself out of my bubble.

“The only job I could get was in a bar. No one else wanted the hours and I desperately needed cash. I didn't really have a choice after that,” I paused, remembering how terrified I was on my first day and grinned slightly, grateful for the extra confidence I had now because I took that leap.

“Hey, what sort of crowd do you think I would've been in?”

I snorted, looking up into his expectant eyes - almost captivated by the glistening greens.

“What am I? A BuzzFeed quiz? I have no idea Dean, you're too much of a wildcard to predict. You probably would've fit in with anyone and everyone.”

“Even you?”

For reasons unbeknownst to even myself, my breath caught in my throat. The sudden soft sincerity of his voice contradicting his usual temperament, my heart starting to flutter in my chest. If the college version of myself had met Dean back then I just know I would have been enthralled at first glance.

“I don't think you would've noticed me. You would've been surrounded by every tall, thin blonde and brunette with perfect tits. Trust me, you would've been distracted,” I smiled an almost sad smile at the thought of him simply being on university grounds and having the time of his life - knowing it was something that he was never going to get the chance to experience in this upside down life of his. Of ours. He tapped his fingers on the table for a second, likely lost in some ludicrous thought I don't think I'd want to be privy to. I attempted another slurp of my milkshake when the paper straw gave out and flopped in half, the need to leave conversation and the diner suddenly looming over me.

“Come on, let's get to the library before it closes,” I stood and pulled my oversized sweater down so it covered my ass before reaching for my backpack. Just as my fingers touched the worn fabric of the strap it was torn away, my head snapping up to Dean who flung it over one shoulder with his signature grin on his face.

“Lead the way nerd.”

I couldn't help but beam at his playfulness. I hated the fact that he made it so easy to adore him. Hated that he completely overlooked how I was his total opposite in almost every way. How when we were talking, his eyes never left mine - how he was genuinely interested in what I was like in the past. And how, when I had his attention, he didn't even notice that the hot waitress had written her number on a napkin and left it next to him.

*

The trip to the library was about as eventful as it sounded. After checking out multiple books on cursed items, local lore and popular antiques from the seventies, we loaded ourselves back into the impala, made an all-important beer run before heading back to the motel.

The small table by the window was now totally smothered by a blanket of books, maps and empty beer bottles. Deans chin rested in his palms as he stared blankly at the screen in front of him, and I must've read the last sentence of the paragraph laid before me a dozen times without it even sinking in. The obnoxious dripping and humming of ancient appliances was starting to make me feel restless.

“It has to be the boots,” Dean groaned, draining the last of his beer.

“Either the boots or the disco ball. But my money is on boots as well,” I sighed, pushing the book away from me and standing slowly, gathering the quickly accumulating litter now scattered around us.

“I'm gonna make some coffee, my brain is fried over how fucking ridiculous this case is,” I ditched the trash in the bin before filling the coffee machine, listening to it whir to life whilst I headed to my bed. I could feel Deans gaze on my back as I rummaged around my bag in search of a specific item.

“What are you looking fo-” he'd started to ask the question but his voice died in his throat when I turned around. I quickly pushed my newly adorned glasses up the bridge of my nose, already feeling the oversized frame start to slip down as I tried not to make a big deal over them.

“What?” My tone was a fraction off aggressive when I realised he was staring. He seemed to snap out of his daze, quickly rubbing the back of his neck and turning back to the laptop screen. He cleared his throat

“I uh, I didn't know you wore glasses,” I could tell from the slight tremble in his voice that his mind was reeling.

“Is there a problem with that?”

“No! I mean, no, absolutely not. They look good. The glasses, I mean. The glasses look good. Not on their own, obviously. On your face. They look good on your face. You have a great fa-”

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

“Sorry.”

I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and set it on the counter, filling it to the brim with caffeinated goodness. I couldn't stop the grin spreading across my lips at Deans fumbling, almost finding the whole ordeal a little charming. I sat back down at the table and pulled the books back towards me, also grabbing my pen and tattered notebook.

“The guests at the club mentioned hearing footsteps - so it has to be the boots, right? A disco ball wouldn't make that sound…” my voice trailed off when I realised that, even though Dean was looking at me, he wasn't listening to a word I was saying.

“Earth to Dean?”

He flinched slightly at his name, but felt no shame delving in with a completely off-topic question.

“So how long have you worn glasses?”

“I’ve always worn them,” I slid back into my chair at the table opposite him, not sure whether to laugh at the shocked expression on his face or whether to be concerned about his observation skills.

“What?! No way, I would’ve noticed,” He opened another beer and took a sip before tracing the opening to the bottle over his bottom lip.

“ I only wear them for concentration work, and I have emergency contact lenses if I know I’m going to be around a lot of people as I don’t particularly like how they look.”

Dean made a small disagreeable expression before averting his gaze from mine back to the laptop, taking another swig of his beer. I placed my coffee mug down and settled back into the book I was reading before, and after a few moments I could feel my skin begin to prickle - as though I could feel a pair of eyes on me. I glanced up, my breath immediately catching in my throat. Deans eyes found mine, burning with an intensity that made my heart hammer in my chest. I didn’t want to look away, but under his gaze I felt like I’d been stripped bare, unable to hide my insecurities from an eye that seemed to scorch through to my very core.

“Dean-”

“(Y/n), you should really have more confidence in yourself; I think the glasses look cute as fuck. You should wear them more,” a fierce blush erupted across my face when he spoke, his assured tone leaving no room for disagreement. I tried desperately not to let on that his words held any sort of impact over my decisions so I looked down, away from his scrutiny and simply said:

“Maybe I will.”

He hummed in approval, finally looking elsewhere and I couldn’t stop myself from breathing a sigh of relief when the pressure of his stare was averted.

The evening dragged on and an hour and a half had passed since his loaded comment. I was on the third book we’d checked out of the library, now trying desperately to find the curse that would cause a pair of 1970s glam rock boots to dance for eternity and haunt anyone who tried to wear them. This case was absurd, and I could feel myself growing restless with the small amount of progress we’d made. I huffed out a sigh and leant back in my chair, the faux leather and rusted metal creaking under my weight. Pulling the hair bobble from around my wrist I scooped my hair into a bundle on the top of my head, securing it in place; the sensation of air on my neck seemed to clear some of the fog from my brain. The messy bun was comfortably enough that I could forget it was there, and I allowed myself a stretch before leaning back over the table, grasping my pen. As I began to read the next segment, I absently traced the end of the pen over my bottom lip, running it back and forth a few times before gently nibbling on the end. I heard the shuffling of Dean moving in his seat and a ragged clearing of his throat before the sound of vigorous laptop keys clicking ensued. Without looking up at him I continued reading, the pen still tapping my bottom lip, and when I neared the bottom of the paragraph, I slowly licked the pad of my index finger. My eyes never leaving the words, I turned the page swiftly with my dampened digit, the transition from one page to the next perfectly seamless. Another shuffle from the man opposite followed by a quiet groan filled the silence between us. Pen still between my teeth, I lifted only my eyes to glance at him and noted the dusting of pink across his cheeks and the furrow in his brow. Concluding that he’d had one too many beers I decided to ignore his persistent fidgeting, returning to my previous task on monotonous reading. Several sentences in and I’d almost forgotten Deans restlessness - that was until I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, deep in thought, that I earned myself a throaty groan and an exasperated sigh. I looked up just in time to watch him wipe a large hand down his face, momentarily masking his pained expression.

“Can you not do that? I can’t concentrate when you do that.”

“Do what?” Upon asking my question I absently took the pen between my teeth again, quickly glancing down at the book to place a mental bookmark.

“That.”

“What?”

“That. That thing you do with our mouth, and the pen, and your tongue and your finger. Can you please stop before it kills me.”

The heat beneath my skin was immediate at his admission, knowing my small, absent-minded actions were playing on his mind and making it hard for him to think straight. I instinctively crossed my legs, a fluttering in my lower belly instantly dragging my mind back to the deprived things I’d imagined Dean doing to me in the depths of night. The places I’d imagined his hands travelling, the areas his lips would touch and the sensations his tongue could create. These were deeply, deeply personal fantasies, and right now as Dean looked at me with a restrained hunger, I felt like I was wearing these fantasies for the world to see. For Dean to see.

“It doesn’t help that you’ve been sat over there like a sexy fucking librarian all evening, but every time you do that anything with that mouth - shit, sweetheart you’re driving me insane.” His voice was gravelly as he looked at me with desperate eyes across the table. The overly rational part of my brain had shut down completely, and now the part of my mind that had spent hours conjuring vivid scenes of Dean Winchester ravishing me in my entirety had taken the charge. I stood slowly, taking a moment to reason with myself - unsuccessfully of course - before sinking to my knees in front of my chair. I could see Deans strong thighs were spread wide beneath the table so I crawled forwards, across the cold tiles and placed myself between his legs. Resting my palms softly on his thighs I made him flinch at the unexpected contact. He immediately scooted his chair back, allowing a gap for me to poke my head through - his hand instantly acting as a barrier between the edge of the table and my skull. I got comfortable and allowed myself a moment to gaze up at him, to take in the strained furrow in his brow and the parting of his lips. I observed the way his chest rose and fell in apprehensive breaths, and the way his free hand clenched into a fist on his thigh - like he was so desperate yet so scared to touch me.

“(Y/n)-”

“Dean,” I spoke softly, slowly running my hands up his thighs - delicate palms against rough denim, “you’re a smart boy - you know I wouldn’t do something I didn’t want to do. So please, don’t say I don’t have to do this.”

Dean released a shaky breath the moment my fingers unclasped his jeans. I tugged them down slightly with his help, just enough so I could dip my hand into his boxers and wrap my fingers around his half-hard length. The moment my skin touched his, his head lolled back and his eyes fluttered closed with a breathy moan on his lips.

“Fuck…”

I gently pulled him from his confines, coming face to face with the cock I’d literally dreamt of again and again. I took the scene in, committing to memory the sharp outline of his jaw and the way his long lashes rested on his lightly-freckled cheeks. The way that, every time he breathed in, I could see his defined muscle tone through the thin fabric of his shirt; and with every small caress that my fingers made against his length, it made his fingers twitch and teeth clench. I licked my lips before leaning in and took his tip into my mouth, not giving him a chance to finish sucking in air through his teeth before I plunged his entire length down my throat. 

“Oh FUCK.”

His hands flew to my hair, fingers gripping tight as they loosened strands from the messy bun, causing them to fall around my face. He’d lifted his head to look down at me, pupils blown as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. He looked nothing more than enthralled. Infatuated. Entranced. I moved my head up and down, up and down, again and again to a steady rhythm, pressing my tongue to the underside of his now rock-hard cock to trace every vein and nerve-ending.

“Shit, (Y/n), I didn’t know you could suck cock, like, at all… how’re you s’fuckin’ good…” his voice was breathless as he continued to grip my hair, his head flopping to the side as pleasure started to overcome his senses. I released him with a small ‘pop’, wrapping my fingers around him and smearing the warm mixture of saliva and precum from tip to base.

“Despite everything I told you earlier, Dean, I’m not a virgin - and this certainly isn’t my first rodeo,” my voice came out more sultry than I’d expected and I could feel Dean tremble beneath my palms.

“Fuck, I wish I’d known that sooner,” I chewed on my bottom lip, quickly becoming addicted to the way he writhed at my touch. The way he moaned and gripped my hair tighter when I sucked him back into my mouth was like pure ecstasy, my insides heating up and throbbing with an ache of familiar arousal. Like a thirst that could only be satisfied by him. By tasting him, feeling him on my tongue and drinking in every sound that passed his plush parted lips. The sensation of my glasses slipping down my nose as I sped up my ministrations had me reaching to push them back up, but not before Dean beat me to it. With the rough pad of his thumb he pushed on the plastic bridge, his palm and fingers pressed to my flushed cheek in the most tender, almost heart wrenching caress. I thought my heart might stop when he tilted my face up to his; lustful eyes burning into mine with a vehemence I’d never encountered. I stopped in my tracks, all actions ceased as the spell he’d somehow put me under wouldn’t let me look away. 

“If you keep going like that darlin’ this whole thing is gonna be over before you know it,” his voice was raspy, a rawness to it from the harsh breaths and ragged moans that had been pulled from his throat. He slowly pulled his cock from my spit-slick lips and grasped it loosely, giving himself a few lazy pumps whilst his other hand never left my face. He stared down at me, taking a few moments as though he was committing the sight of me, knelt between his knees with flushed cheeks and swollen lips to memory. Once it seemed that memory was locked away in the depths of his mind, he grasped me by the arm and pulled me effortlessly into his lap, his fingers almost bruising against my skin. Immediately I felt him, in his entirety, press against me with the heat and wetness seeping through my jeans and past my panties. This time when our eyes met, there was a mutual desperation; a need to consume each other and to feel every inch of his heated skin against mine. He pulled me frantically down to him and crashed his lips against mine. 

Some people describe their first kiss with someone like butterflies in their stomach, or fireworks exploding all around them. That wasn’t at all what this was like. Kissing Dean Winchester was different - it was wild and untamed - and describing this experience in such a mundane way would be like adding water to a top-shelf whiskey. Kissing Dean Winchester was like driving the impala at one thirty with the roar of the engine drowning out the rest of the world. It was like trying to ride a wild mustang without a saddle, or daring to stand on the highest peak on Earth with nothing to tie you down. It was exhilarating in the most dangerous way imaginable - and I was now officially a thrill seeker. 

The warm taste of the beer on his tongue and the masculine scent of old leather and cologne was pulling me under. Breathing no longer mattered as long as his mouth was on mine and his fingers were in my hair, now tugging the bobble out and throwing it to the floor. As my hair tumbled free he grabbed under my thighs and stood effortlessly, moving me from his lap to the edge of the table without his lips leaving mine. I winced slightly as the corners and several books and the laptop jabbed into my rear and I fumbled to move everything aside, failing when I refused to unlock our lips. Deans patience was non-existent and with one sweep of his strong arm everything tumbled to the floor - including the laptop. I threw the remaining books from underneath me down to join them, no longer caring for their wellbeing. Before I could pull Dean back in - to allow him to do whatever the fuck he wanted to do to me - he hastily pulled off my boots and tugged down my jeans, throwing every item to the growing pile of chaos beside us. I discarded my sweater and top, but before I let his fingers touch my bra I wanted nothing more than to return the favour. 

“I guess you can forget about that whole ‘never seeing me shirtless’ thing, huh?” he smirked through the sexual fog, not waiting for a reply as his lips hungrily found mine again, his own top falling to the floor. 

“Shut up Winchester. Now are you gonna fuck me or wh- OH FUCK-”

Two thick fingers crept under my panties and plunged into me with zero hesitation, curling up and stroking the sensual cushion deep within my core with skillful precision. 

“Oh yeah? You want me to fuck you?” Even with my face now buried in the crook of his neck, I could hear the smirk in his voice, the tormenting tone going straight to my brain.

“Y-yes- fuck- please,” my knees twitched either side of him, squeezing at his hips with every push of his fingers. I gripped his shoulders tight, nails indenting his skin as I leant back to look at him better. Seeing the beads of sweat on his chest and brow alongside the raw, carnal desire in his eyes could have undone me there and then. He frowned in disapproval when I moved to remove my glasses, the fingers that were just inside me now wrapped forcefully around my wrist.

“What d’ya think you’re doing?” straight away I knew his growling question left no room for negotiation.

“I was just-”

“The glasses stay on.”

“To the end?”

“‘Til I say you can take them off.”

I did as I was told, moving my hand to grip the soft strands on the back of his neck, softly dragging my nails over his scalp and drawing a shiver from his spine and a groan from his lungs. He pulled me against him, crushing his lips against mine one more time. He swiftly pulled away and I leant back on my hands, both of us taking a moment to drink each other in - to bask in lascivious glory. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and looked up at him through my lashes, the lenses of my glasses starting to fog around the edges. Another deep moan rumbled from his chest as his heated gaze stayed locked to mine.

“I can’t wait any longer now that you’ve looked at me like that. Fuck.”

With a large hand gripping the soft flesh of my thigh he pulled my underwear to one side and lined himself up, slowly sinking in. Blissful moans harmonised between us, the rawness of him stretching me was unlike anything I’d ever experienced and my quivering thighs wrapped around him, pushing him to the hilt. He secured his large hands on the soft flesh of my hips and held me in place as he slowly withdrew. I could feel him; feel every ridge and vein drag out and then in, out and in, over my most sensitive, intimate, area. The slick sounds of our intimacy  began to echo around the room as he picked up speed, strong thighs working at a feverish pace. With every thrust he pushed against that one spot that made my legs jerk and eyes water, my arms almost giving out underneath me as the table rattled beneath my weight. With the ferocity of his pounding and the heightened sensitivity he’d curated between my legs only moments before, we both knew that neither of us would last long. The sounds of his ragged breaths and throaty moans alone had me clenching around him already, and I know my constricting muscles already had his hips stuttering as I sucked him in with every thrust.

“Fuck (Y/n)- You’re so fuckin’ tight-”

I chewed on my bottom lip as his desperate eyes met mine.

“Oh yeah? Well I feel like you’re cock is in my fucking ribcage- oh fuck-”

He slipped one hand between us, his large palm resting on my lower belly as his thumb drew fast circles around my clit. The immediate contact on my bundle of nerves had my whole body quivering, the knot of an impending climax already starting to twist tighter and tighter in the depths of my core. The way that Dean fucked me into the motel room table was something that I would be able to feel deep in my soul for the rest of my life - my body and entire nervous system having never been worked in such a feral way before. Dean dropped forward and crushed my body into his - one large strong arm wrapped around my trembling body and kept me pressed against him as his head dropped to the crook of my neck. Soft lips pressed hot kisses against my shoulder, teeth gently nibbling the soft flesh as the coil wound and wound, the wave of orgasmic bliss rising higher and higher as my mind emptied, leaving behind only one thought.

Dean.

He was all consuming - all I could see, taste and smell. All I could feel. Oh God could I feel him; driving me to the brink of pure bliss as he frantically sped up - desperate to seek his own undoing as well as my own. One… two… three more fervid thrusts and the peak he’d helped me ascend to shattered around me as I practically screamed his name, the white-hot euphoria scorching my insides as I clamped like a vice around him. 

“Oh shit- (Y/n) I can’t- fuck-”

I grabbed the back of his head and pushed his mouth to mine as he came undone, spilling inside me as he worked through his own white-hot euphoria. 

The kiss we shared evolved from hot and needy to soft and wanting - the sensation of hot cum running down the inside of my thigh and cooling against my skin being the only thing to pull me away. Dean continued to lean over me for a moment, looking down at me with an expression that told me he had so much he wanted to say. Instead, he looked down at his release now starting to pool on the floor beneath us, then to the books and laptop that had been thrown across the floor before turning back to face me with the most devilish grin on his face.

“You know that this mess is all your fault, right?”

I scoffed.

“My fault? How is it my fault?”

“Because, sweetheart…” he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and pushed lightly on the plastic bridge sitting on my nose.

“You put on on those fucking glasses.”

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[4townlove]

4⭐Town Daydream: Before The Show

(remember, with 4Town Daydreams, you can apply them to whichever member is your favourite)

with only 10 minutes before the start of the concert, he grabs your hand and rushes you back into their greenroom after the other guys have left to do their final checks.

you can already hear the crowd screaming and the pre-show music thumping through the floor and the walls, but his eyes are on you and only you. his hands are quickly at your waist once the door is shut, his hot breath burning against your neck as he walks you back to the vanities.

"d-dont you have to- baby, the guys will be waiti-" you try to explain but then his lips close around your own, and the kiss that follows consumed any conscious thought about to leave your lips.

skin warming and tingling as he lifts you up to sit on the edge of the vanity, standing closer between your legs, he hums as he braces one hand against the mirror behind you and grasps your waist tighter with the other. your fingers slide up his neck and push into his hair as you shiver at his touch, all the sound outside the greenroom muffling until only your heartbeat drums in your ears.

in the gasp of breath you both take after a long, long, while, your eyes dart around his face, to his glossed lips, then back up again, catching his gaze dilating at the sight of you.

"......i just..." he exhales, leaning in to press his face into your neck, ignoring the knocking of his manager on the other side of the door. "I'm sorry, i..."

"don't apologise." you whisper, smiling a blush, stroking the side of his neck as his arms wrap around you. you hug him back and melt into his embrace, cherishing these last few seconds before he's lost to the lights and music for 3 hours. "I'll miss you too."

"i love you" he mutters into your skin, and before you can return the sentiment, the greenroom door finally unlocks and opens.

"Finally! Where have you been?!?! We only have one minute until-" his manager begins to grumble, only to see you both and quickly catch his tongue. "O-oh uh... ahem... excuse me, sorry to interrupt, I just-"

"It's ok." he answers, and you feel his smile rise against the side of your neck before he pulls away, half turning to the suit now fidgetting with his clipboard by the door, one hand resting still on your waist. "I'll be right out."

"Alright." the manager says and darts out of the room as fast as he entered.

you giggle, and blush again when he looks back to you. unable to resist the rush of all the adoration inside you for him, you close the gap and kiss him once more. "go kill it out there, baby."

he kisses you back before replying, "I will, I promise. But... know that every song I sing up there... is for you. Every single one..." and with one more squeeze of his hand, he winks then jogs out of the greenroom towards the grumbling shouts of the other members.

you body is still warm with the memory of his arms as you slowly amble towards the wings of the stage, jumping slightly as the crowd erupts as they make their entrance, and watching him up there in the spotlight, his smile as bright as they shine around him, his gaze drifting to where you are in the wings every chance he gets, you can't believe how lucky you are and how real you know his love for you and only you truly is.