#expecting anything else is ludicrous lol

[mimitheaardvark]

Ppl wanting Roman to apologize to jey must not know how black fathers operate lol

[chipchopclipclop]

i have finished death mark 2...... thoughts.....

general thoughts is the overall story was.... BAD. LOL.

I'll start with the good. The interactions between Yashiki and alot of the returning cast i really liked, the writing especially in the first few chapters. An example being alot of Yashiki and Daimon's chatter, especially the whole weight of saving lives things that comes back at the end, alot of it was quite sweet and heartwarming similarly between him and other mark bearer characters.

^^^ BEST CG EVARRRRR....

I liked the choice of Hiroo and Mashita being the two that come in when he's at his lowest, their curtness and refusal to take his attitude was really refreshing, felt really like what he needed at the time lol. In that same vein i enjoyed his characterization alot in the early-mid game, and how it develops. He's such a sensitive guy lollll and it comes through well with how much he cares but near the latter chapters it kind of.... sours.

Though there were a few new characters i liked his interactions with, Abe and Maruhashi specifically i found endearing of the new cast, Alot of them just Die. Or theyre Hime and Michiho AKA the bane of my fucking existence with this game.

They are the two pushed front and center and it is truly its worst aspect, as characters they're shallow personality wise and though you could say that about others in the cast, them being in love with Yashiki on top of it makes it so much worse.

They barely have any scenes where they actually properly interact and feel like they bond at all but for some reason im expected to believe they're suddenly in love with him?? -and in the end they were also dead the whole time, and not even themselves. So it wasn't even real, and somehow any of this is meant to hold any weight to the audience...?? explaining it as the ghosts being desperate for him instead doesnt really make it.. any more compelling (lol the scene at the end where hes like maybe they just wanted those beautiful normal school days they spent by me.... when did that happen yashiki)

I understand Yashiki is probably saddened by the deaths of two young girls but they're treated with so much more weight and gravitas than anyone else in the cast and its so unearned, especially when alot of the other ghosts are somehow way more compelling in that aspect.

He also becomes borderline ooc around them like in what world am i expected to believe he emotionally dumps his burdens on the two highschool girls he barely knows because of how sad he is when hes got like how many other people he knows FROM THE OTHER GAMES he could do that with...????? (AND BASICALLY DOES... ALREADY...?) and it lifts his heart like truly wtf was i reading. HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT.JPG

Chapter six is really where it falls off the cliff with this, after hanging out with Hiroo, Mashita and Yasuoka and solving that case they just dissapear from the narrative for a day so he can......... hang out with michiho...?? i couldn't even enjoy murder yashiki in this game because of how ludicrous it felt that the rest of yashiki's companions just dissapeared to make it happen, and no one calls or anything lmfao. I cant imagine how much more compelled i would have felt if he was dealing with that situation with any of the other three around instead of HIME. LIKE I AM ACTUALLY SO INCENSED ABOUT THIS SCENARIO BEING RUINED SO HARD WHEN IT COULD BE SO GOOD BUT I DIGRESS (RIPPING MY HAIR OUT) (CRYING BC I LOVE BLOOD AND HORROR)

Even the first two games weren't as bad as writing women as this!? EVEN IF I HAD TO SEE MASSIVE TITS ON SCREEN THEY WEREN'T TRYING TO JUMP ON YASHIKI AS WELL AS A CENTRAL PLOT POINT (lol kakuya) congrats exp you have outdone yourself with the misogyny.

To continue on the topic of new characters, it feels like so many of them were given so little screen time to make you actually care about them. For how prominent Abe is he barely actually does anything, and Maruhashi instantly dissapears when shes no longer a red herring. On top of this game basically killing off any other character that appears, its hard to get invested in them as characters at all.

You have no opportunities to actually effect their fate as you do in the other two games, so there's even less attempt to immerse you there. Horikoshi comes the closest behind the other two but its because her case with Hanako was easily the strongest and most resonant of the game (lgbt win). Its not even like this is the first time Yashiki saves the lives of kids and bonds with them after, especially with the caveat of being a teacher, like how did you fuck this premise up so bad.

They either needed to commit to more scenes and writing in general to attach you to the new characters or just not have any returning ones show up so prominently if they're not also going to further interact with them.

The overall mystery suffers for it, and while i like the twist of the doll being helpful in this game actually, it is so easy to guess michiho and hime are the departed, and i already didn't even like them so it doesn't hit at all emotionally. Like, i was not feeling very betrayed or anything lol.

Further critiques -> though running around is very fun, the horror in this game really didn't at all compare to the others with the loss of that first person perspective for alot of the exploration, sad.

I also feel like we got more horny shit than we did in NG which is also like lol one step forwards two steps back. Even the gore wasn't as good............... kind of mid in every regard there. I did like the mushroom and scissor stuff, but the bugs and mold ended up just kind of ..... eh...

Mary continues to be the best antag in these games, she slayed and she continues to keep slaying. The sisters were really kind of a letdown in the end, especially since i think i could have enjoyed it if they pulled them off better.

As for my yaoi cocaine score though thats a 10/10 they made yashiki and mashita meow and hiss like cats in this game for some reason, i genuinely think that shattered my mind a little.

I also can't believe they gave us these two panting in unison asmr as well so you could make your own [REDACTED] if you wanted. The departed getting jealous mashita was standing next to him in that one confrontation too like she's calling him a homewrecker..... lol...... also the part where mashita jokes abt him keeping the gun and if you make yashiki go 'then i will 😇' and him immediately backpedaling like okay i was kidding. give it back. very moe very powerful.

I feel like the entire time mashita was on screen he was basically acting as yashiki's brain to keep him from getting too lost in his emotional attachments, truly everyone needs a bitch wife to keep them sane.

TL:DR this game could be so good (average) if it wasn't so fucking badDDDDDDDDDDDD easily the worst entry in this series...... dont buy it unless its on sale for 4 bucks (this applies to every game) or just watch in on youtube lol.

anyway. beautiful yashiki collection. I CANT BELIEVE MASHITA DIDNT GET A BAD END CG ACTUALLY < / 3 BUT YASHIKI'S IS REALLY GOOD < / 3 SMALL WINS < / 3

[mermaidsirennikita]

The Great season 3 review?

I loved it, first off! It was one of the best seasons of TV I've seen, full stop. And I'm gonna be real: if you hate the season simply because Peter died and give absolutely zero thought to anything else in a show this packed to the brim with talent and things... I don't know, man. I feel like there's a subset of people for whom the Point of the show sailed overhead.

I love Catherine and Peter. One of the best love stories I've seen onscreen. I love Elle and Nick together; I would watch them in anything. I even tried to watch the other movie they did together. But I think the show has always been very clear, from day one, in the fucking title even, that we were watching a journey of a woman going from girlhood to despotic "greatness". It has been, and always will be, Catherine's story first and foremost.

"It wasn't historically accurate, why is it now???" Lmao it isn't? Him dying does not make the show accurate. He died falling through ice after falling in love with Catherine, when in real life he died, most likely by her order, imprisoned by Catherine. Peter did not die because Tony McNamara suddenly decided to go with an accurate story. He died because it was time in the narrative.

All that aside, I just thought the first half gave us more of this super compelling relationship while also making it clear that there was no way for Catherine to become who she needed to be with him alive. It's not because she didn't love him; it was because she did, too much. The love was all-consuming, and if she had a choice she would've probably chosen to skip greatness and be with him. I mean, she kind of tried to--she was playing Russian roulette in a bid to "be" with him, never mind the arsenic thing. And that depiction of grief, of it never being something she'll "move past", but will simply become more used to and more able to deal with... So good.

This is the version of Catherine that she needed to be in order to have an iron rule over Russia, and I think she could not have become that version without the trauma she endured. Peter dying was what took her to another level of unhinged, of brutality. I mean, listen--is it a good thing for her? Not necessarily. But the show doesn't really pass judgment on what's good or bad, but rather what is. The fact that we ended on a Catherine who had random sex with random people just to satisfy herself, who was like "I did this, not destiny", who sent Archie to die without blinking... It's more reminiscent of the real woman, and it's who she had to be. That last dance was catharsis and a bit of madness and despair but also, I think, acceptance that she has gotten what she wanted, she is who she was always meant to be, and it hurts.

I also find it ludicrous that people think Peter should've died in a nobler way? First off, the tone of this show has never been Like That, and second, Peter is not noble. He's progressed, sure, but he was never a fully actualized, individualized person, and that's part of his tragedy. He died because he couldn't ultimately resist the pull of his insecurity and the weight of his father's expectations. He couldn't compartmentalize his trauma enough to survive, which isn't good or bad, it just is, and it's a tragedy. Catherine ultimately had to do what he couldn't in order to survive. Peter can be a man who grew, but him growing does not mean he grew *enough*.

(Also ludicrous: people acting like Peter dying betrayed the show as a romcom? He fucked and killed her mom, never mind him killing her previous lover, this was not a romcom lol.)

Elizabeth--love her journey. The place we saw her get to with Peter the Great is the place Peter wasn't able to get to. Moving on, recognizing that she could take it but ultimately didn't need to. Maybe finding love again? (Tbh tho, I shipped her more with Petrov.) Such an incredible performance from Belinda across seasons. Her line about crying until her ribs break and that being okay because she would never take another unpained breath... Jesus, that was well-written and visceral.

I love Archie because he's just a wonderful antagonist, well-acted, and a great sense of dark comic relief. Like, unlike characters I found sanctimonious and self-serving at the same time, Archie was just committed to his endgame. I'm glad he's still alive.

The Swedes!!! I've been a longtime Swede Stan, ever since season 1. I know that some critics didn't like how much time they took up, but fuck that. I love their relationship, I think the guy playing Hugo deserves an Emmy because he had some of the best line deliveries of the fucking season, I love their funhouse Peter and Catherine-style relationship. The only thing I didn't love was Agnes's subplot with Velementov, but more on that in a minute.

I enjoyed Petrov as a new addition. If the show were to continue (again, more on that later) I could see him with Elizabeth, but also probably hooking up with Catherine because... In real life, Catherine did love a man in uniform and I think Tony would take inspo from that. Not saying it would be a long term thing, but I imagine that in the future if the show went on, we'd see a Catherine with many partners. I mean, she had sex with two different people in the finale alone, slept with the American ambassador this season, etc. Her body count would for sure rise. But yeah, I liked his efficiency and love of cannonballs.

Stan Maxim forever, we love a young king who's ready to murder.

George was a huge turnaround for me. I think part of it was in seeing Marial become so vile. George's cheerful amorality mixed with, I think, real feeling for Peter, Grigor, and even Catherine was really compelling. I used to hate her, but now I love her and I hope she keeps doing what she needs to do. She deserves. I also found that her scene with Catherine, recognizing that they both loved Peter, that Catherine did take him from George--it was one of the most emotionally touching of the season, for me. George understood Catherine's grief in a way others couldn't, and I loved their odd relationship.

Grigor... Love him forever, like him for always, he's a favorite forever. I want him to want better for himself. His relationship with Paul, his intense grief for Peter, it just got me. I could absolutely see him having an affair with Catherine in the future; they were already giving me big "comforting the widow" vibes.

I loved Tatyana and Arkady. Such good comic relief, and I enjoyed them both kind of seeking recognition from Pugachev that they never received from Peter.

Speaking of Pugachev--masterclass from Nick. The fact that he had a Peter voice, a Pugachev voice, and a Pugachev pretending to be Peter voice? MY GOD. Also, the way Pugachev was like... bad, sure, but had some solid points out Peter and Catherine's callousness, especially in that fabulous last scene with Catherine.

I know Orlo's death was controversial, but Sascha wanted to leave and I figure why not make his death both ridiculous and emblematic of Catherine becoming more of like. A casually violent leader.

Disliked:

Marial. Horrible character. Like Phoebe, hate Marial. I just don't get the hypocrisy of saying she wants to be Catherine's friend FOR REALZ while also lying about the Pugachev involvement and also like... Celebrating the death of her husband? Marial doesn't have to like Peter, but being best friends with his widow and in love with his best friend............ Like, pick a lane, girl. Also, no idea why Grigor was so in love with her when she honestly didn't treat him well and seemed to fundamentally not understand him.

Velementov. Never got him. He's always seemed like, kind of pathetic and a father figure... while also making pervy comments about Catherine. I didn't see why he didn't just die this season. Make room for Petrov and Maxim, asshole. He took up so much unnecessary time.

But yeah, I think that if they end up getting renewed they have loose threads they can play with, but if not I'm totally happy. I feel like I understand where the story went. I understand what the message was. I feel like Catherine has had a total transformation, one the show has been leading towards since it began. Her dance at the end was such a triumph to, in a devastating way. Her monologue about things to say to Peter to keep him from leaving; her face when she was given the dessert and realized fully he was dead. That level of acting Elle gave was just incredible. The way I felt this woman's pain, the way I understood her evolution... It was something else.

And brushing all that aside because your ship wasn't "endgame" seems super shallow, but that's just me.

The only thing I'd love to see Tony take a stab at with Elle is his version of Potemkin because that guy was a CHARACTER lol, but I mean. The Helen Mirren mini covers that affair very well. And I'm good with this show ending where it has, if that was it.

[madamebaggio]

Notes: Previously...

Admit it... You were all not expecting it this early, right?

Please, forgive any mistakes, It’s 2:30 am, I finished 3 chapters just now and I couldn’t wait to post... lol

Let me know your feelings!

***

Chapter 5

Oberyn had talked to Sansa, knowing it’d upset Willas.

Well, upset was too kind. Willas would be fucking furious with him.

Oberyn was a person that believed in honesty above all in relationships -no matter what kind of relationship. This had worked in his favor for many years now, especially after he matured.

He’d always disliked ‘conventional’ relationships, and the idea of possession some people had. Even when he was extremely in love, deeply connected to someone, he couldn’t feel this sense of ownership in any way.

He believed that this brought too many expectations, and most of them were unrealistic. Once Oberyn understood he wasn’t interested in monogamy, and that it didn’t mean he couldn’t actually love someone, he worked on being honest.

He never lied to any of his affairs. He was always honest about what he could offer and what he’d expect in return.

Ellaria was a blessing in his life, a partner like he’d never had before. He loved her like he hadn’t love anyone before, and she truly understood what he wanted and -better yet -what she wanted. Despite what people might think, the thing he loved the most about her, was that they could lay in bed and talk for hours, about everything and anything. They had no secrets between them.

In a way, his relationship with Willas had been similar. They’d discuss ideas together for hours, debate about the most ludicrous concepts, and -yes -spend hours doing other things.

The difference was that Willas was the monoganous sort of fellow. He enjoyed serious relationships. As long as he was single, he didn’t mind exploring things with Oberyn, but he was always looking for something else.

Oberyn hadn’t lied to Sansa: he did love Willas, but not like he loved Ellaria. Willas was a dear friend, someone he cherished deeply, but their relationship was one of friendship, not romance.

And it was exaclty because of that -because he loved Willas -that he was doing this.

Yes, his friend would be furious, but Oberyn could live with that. What he couldn’t live with was Willas believing he wasn’t enough.

He was scheming, and that wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but he knew -deep down -he was right. Willas needed this as much as Sansa did.

Besides, he had no intention of doing anything until there was a serious conversation about boundaries and consent. As much as he’d joked with Sansa about them convincing Willas, he didn’t plan on tying his friend to the bed.

“You did what?”

Oh yes… Willas was angry. “I offered Sansa our services as experient men.” He eyed the way his friend was gripping his cane. “Just so you know, if you plan on attacking me, I have zero compulsions about kicking your cane and running for the door.”

“For fuck’s sake, Oberyn!” Willas snapped. “This is not a joke! She is a girl!”

“She’s a woman, Willas. Stop pretending otherwise.” Oberyn threw back. “Yes, she’s younger than us, we do have more experience, but we aren’t taking advantage.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because Sansa will have time and space to think about it, for one.” He threw his hands up. “We won’t be love-bombing her into accepting us. She’ll have the same power to make choices. And as much as you want to keep pretending she’s a damsel in distress, she isn’t vulnerable. We aren’t taking advantage, because she isn’t in a vulnerable moment, where she shouldn’t be making choices.”

Willas pressed his lips together. “You had no right.”

“To do what exactly?” Oberyn demanded.

“Get me in the middle of this.” Willas hissed.

“Fine. I’ll tell her you’re out and that’s it.”

Willas narrowed his eyes. “What about you?”

“I’m still interested.”

“Oberyn!”

“She didn’t even say ‘yes’, Willas.” It was Oberyn’s turn to snap. “Stop acting like the world is ending. If you don’t want to do this, then don’t. But don’t make choices for me or Sansa.”

Willas did get up then, but it was so he could leave.

Oberyn felt this was a victory. He’d actually expected worse.

***

Sansa didn’t know what Oberyn had in his head, but she sure as hell had only one thing in hers.

After he offered her the chance of a lifetime, she could hardly think of anything else. She tought about it, then a bit more, then a bit more…

If her mind wasn’t busy with anything else, she’d automatically think of what Oberyn had suggested. But -if she were to be honest -very little of that thinking was practical.

She most spiralled into what-if scenarios that ranged from everything being perfect and cinematic from it being horrible and humiliating. She didn’t actually think about the practical parts of what Oberyn had suggested; she just spent her time jumping from scenario to scenario.

It was probably a reflection of how she saw herself, that most of those were bleak indeed. Most of the time, when she thought of what might happen if she were to say ‘yes’ to Oberyn, the imaginary results weren’t flaterring to her.

Sansa had imagined herself falling from the bed -for some reason -, being so boring that Willas and Oberyn forgot she was there, and -her personal favorite -being literally kicked out of the bedroom.

A part of her was refusing to consider this seriously. To do what Oberyn had suggested, and just think if that was something she wanted to do. In her mind, it was just a fantasy that wouldn’t ever come true. At no time she gave it serious consideration, or thought about it as a serious possibility.

Until almost two weeks later.

She’d gone out for dinner with her coworkers, and drank an extra glass of wine. By the time she got home she was giggly and light, but not exactly drunk.

Sansa fell on her bed and stared at the ceiling, and for the first time she decided to give the fantasy a real shot. Some other times, she’d think about Oberyn and Willas kissing and think she was being problematic in her own head. She could even fantize about it without feeling guilty.

Well, she was tispy and not feeling one bit guilty.

She shimmied out of her dress, until she was only in her underwear. She took a deep breath in, as if she was gathering her strength, but she already knew what she was going to do.

She caressed her neck, her chest, her belly and hips softly. She didn’t touch the obvious spots just then, because she wanted to do this slowly, tease herself. She ran her nails across her skin lightly, barely enough to mark.

Sansa closed her eyes and pictured Oberyn and Willas in front of her, wondering how they’d kiss her and each other. She had a feeling that Oberyn was the teasing kind, but what about Willas? Would he be gentle? Would he be demanding?

Maybe she’d been reading too many romances, but Sansa had the impression that Willas would be a firm lover. He just seemed so sure of himself, so calm when he spoke.

When she played with her nipples, that was the image she had in mind: Oberyn, teasing and laughing, Willas, serious and strict. She could almost hear their voices, telling her she was beautiful, that they could show her anything she wanted to see.

The hand that slid down her body wasn’t actually hers. No, in her head it was Willas’ hand finding its way inside her panties. Oberyn would be whispering dirty words by her ear, words she couldn’t exactly predict, but she was sure he could think of something.

It had been so long since Sansa had touched herself like this, and she was shocked to find herslef already wet. It normally took some playing before she could get to this point.

Sansa held onto her patience as she circled her clit. She didn’t want this to be just a quick release, she wanted more than an orgasm. She needed to play this out.

Behind her closed eyes it all took shape. Oberyn and Willas touching not only her, but each other. The words being said, the feeling it gave her to heart those things.

Speeding up her movements felt natural instead of just purposeful. When she slipped a finger inside herself -something she hardly ever bothered with when she was alone -Sansa gasped with the feeling.

Her body was shaking and covered in sweat by the time she brought herself to orgasm.

She couldn’t believe what she’d done, how she’d feel.

The next morning she started seriously considering Oberyn’s offer.

[metvmorqhoses]

i have a headcannon that voldemort never really “punishes” bella when she does something wrong, but his punishments to other death eaters are way way worse & so she’s obligated to act as if vold has given her a worse punishment than he actually has. not that she does a lot of things wrong as his “most faithful” though. i’m talking about the occasional slip up like the department of mysteries thing. had that been someone else, he probably would’ve harmed them more, let alone wouldn’t save then from some witch statue holding them down.

this is very true, anon. so true, in fact, i actually consider this much more a canon fact than mere speculation.

sorry if this is very long, but for every thousand of anti-bellamort idiots there must be a very precise bellamort’s defense attorney lol

correct me if i am wrong, but to my knowledge not once in the books a physical punishment coming from voldemort is ever mentioned in relation to bellatrix - and even if, let's be real, after his "rebirth" she became involved in literally the majority of the most crucial errors, the worst happenings ever, that ultimately brought to no less than his very downfall.

and yet, still, she came out of it all not only unscathed, but treated very specially.

even to a lazy reader, this should at least come across as peculiar.

let’s take the primary example of what i am saying, the battle of the department of mysteries.

just freed from azkaban and after being showered in honors and recognition, the first pivotal mission bellatrix was entrusted with was a damning fiasco.

true, it was not entirely her fault, lucius was in fact “in charge” of it, but let’s be real, do you really think voldemort sent his literal general with that malfoy dandy, his pupil, his most trusted and powerful lieutenant, just for company? just as a henchman? as i have always interpreted it, bellatrix was there to keep an eye on lucius, whose silver tongue was famously more apt to political plotting than to field missions.

voldemort wasn’t trusting lucius with the prophecy that had literally already meant almost death to him once, it would have been madness to. you can say anything about voldemort, but certainly not that he was an idiot.

i actually don’t think he ever trusted lucius at all. lucius had renounced him after his fall and didn’t manage to paint the fact as pragmatically as snape did, the cowardly aftertaste of his betrayal blatant and thoroughly disgusting on voldemort’s tongue. lucius’ status, family name, relations and wealth were just very useful for the movement and likely the only things that kept him in the high ranks of the regime (or alive at all) even before the fiasco, along with his marriage to bellatrix’s sister.

i am positive voldemort was in fact trusting bella to see the prophecy retrieved.

he probably didn’t officially put her in charge because she was still recovering from azkaban and therefore not completely stable or/and already with child (even if i tend to exclude the latter option, since she would have been still entirely too weak for a pregnancy to even take).

still, she was the one with the highest military rank there, not to mention the highest degree of closeness to voldemort, so you can bet she was the one that bore also the highest degree of moral obligation in that delicate situation. and she failed.

knowing voldemort, you would have expected to see killing curses flying left and right. had bellatrix been literally anyone else, she could have easily returned home to a murdered family and a pending death penalty.

instead, you see a voldemort that walks into the ministry of magic. you see a voldemort that, even already knowing the prophecy lost forever, renounces his every advantage and reveals himself once again to the wizarding world, moreover having to fight at the same time his very nemesis (nemesis that the mission should have helped him understand better and therefore defeat), dumbledore (the greatest wizard alive besides him) and soon the entirety of the aurors of britain.

what was exactly the reason that compelled him to enter such a nest of vipers, when he had been unwilling to do so in secrecy and surely in a highest degree of safety before and to retrieve the prophecy himself? to kill harry potter?

the very reason of the mission tells us he wasn’t sure about what to do with his potter dilemma and had therefore decided to have a more cautious, academical approach regarding the matter. he wanted to know the whole prophecy before trying again. he was frustrated and puzzled about harry’s absurd invincibility and insolent luck. do you really think he had decided to go for the hardest battle of his life unprepared and with dumbledore present of all people (whom he didn’t even directly kill afterwards) and possibly hundreds more on the way?

had voldemort suddenly turned from cold strategist to hotheaded kamikaze?

the only plausible answer is that voldemort had purposefully entered the ministry, risking capture and possibly his very life (or at least his newly created body, since at this point the horcruxes are still intact and a secret) and not knowing what exactly was there waiting for him, as a rather valiant rescue attempt and quite an unexpected one too.

bellatrix herself just moments before had laughed at the absurdity of the possibility of voldemort ever entering the place in response to harry’s questioning:

“Get it himself?” shrieked Bellatrix on a cackle of mad laughter. “The Dark Lord, walk into the Ministry of Magic, when they are so sweetly ignoring his return? The Dark Lord, reveal himself to the Aurors, when at the moment they are wasting their time on my dear cousin?”

bellatrix herself believed it an impossible and ludicrous thought and yet, less than half an hour later and her life in jeopardy, there voldemort surely appeared.

you could speculate he wanted to save his most valuable, just freed death eaters and then couldn’t, but there’s no evidence of it in the chapter whatsoever. the only evidence points out to the fact he was focused only on saving bellatrix.

this is in fact what lucius tells his hunting party while harry and co are trying to escape the ambush:

Harry put his ear close to the door to listen and heard Lucius Malfoy roar: “Leave Nott, leave him, I say, the Dark Lord will not care for Nott’s injuries as much as losing that prophecy — Jugson, come back here, we need to organize! We’ll split into pairs and search, and don’t forget, be gentle with Potter until we’ve got the prophecy, you can kill the others if necessary — Bellatrix, Rodolphus, you take the left, Crabbe, Rabastan, go right — Jugson, Dolohov, the door straight ahead — Macnair and Avery, through here — Rookwood, over there — Mulciber, come with me!”

so, la crème de la crème of his high ranks is there and everyone is positive the only thing that voldemort would care about is the prophecy, even above captures and fatalities.

rabastan and rodolphus are also there and yet he doesn’t go for them.

he appeared when harry told bellatrix the prophecy was gone, specifically when bellatrix began to have a manic fit because of it, alone in the ministry’s atrium with harry.

“Potter, I am going to give you one chance!” shouted Bellatrix. “Give me the prophecy — roll it out toward me now — and I may spare your life!”

“Well, you’re going to have to kill me, because it’s gone!” Harry roared — and as he shouted it, pain seared across his forehead. His scar was on fire again, and he felt a surge of fury that was quite unconnected with his own rage.

“And he knows!” said Harry with a mad laugh to match Bellatrix’s own. “Your dear old mate Voldemort knows it’s gone! He’s not going to be happy with you, is he?”

“What? What do you mean?” she cried, and for the first time there was fear in her voice.

“The prophecy smashed when I was trying to get Neville up the steps! What do you think Voldemort’ll say about that, then?”

His scar seared and burned. . . . The pain of it was making his eyes stream. . . .

“LIAR!” she shrieked, but he could hear the terror behind the anger now. “YOU’VE GOT IT, POTTER, AND YOU WILL GIVE IT TO ME — Accio Prophecy! ACCIO PROPHECY !”

Harry laughed again because he knew it would incense her, the pain building in his head so badly he thought his skull might burst. He waved his empty hand from behind the one-eared goblin and withdrew it quickly as she sent another jet of green light flying at him. “Nothing there!” he shouted. “Nothing to summon! It smashed and nobody heard what it said, tell your boss that —”

“No!” she screamed. “It isn’t true, you’re lying — MASTER, I TRIED, I TRIED — DO NOT PUNISH ME —”

“Don’t waste your breath!” yelled Harry, his eyes screwed up against the pain in his scar, now more terrible than ever.

“He can’t hear you from here!”

“Can’t I, Potter?” said a high, cold voice.

specifically, he appears behind bella when she starts to maniacally invoke him, almost as if they had a special mean of communication with each other even from considerable distance.

(here bella is afraid voldemort would punish her and i find the manner of it very interesting, we will come back to it later on)

voldemort was obviously furious the prophecy was lost, but again why risking his own life on top of it? was he perhaps concerned of bella’s mental state now that she knew she had failed and therefore her ability to flee/fight his very nemesis, dumbledore and the aurors?

normally, we would have expected voldemort to stay away and deal with the surviving death eaters later, leaving them to their deserved destiny (as he did with literally everyone else who was there).

instead we have:

“So you smashed my prophecy?” said Voldemort softly, staring at Harry with those pitiless red eyes. “No, Bella, he is not lying. . . . I see the truth looking at me from within his worthless mind. . . . Months of preparation, months of effort . . . and my Death Eaters have let Harry Potter thwart me again. . . .”

“Master, I am sorry, I knew not, I was fighting the Animagus Black!” sobbed Bellatrix, flinging herself down at Voldemort’s feet as he paced slowly nearer.

“Master, you should know —”

“Be quiet, Bella,” said Voldemort dangerously. “I shall deal with you in a moment. Do you think I have entered the Ministry of Magic to hear your sniveling apologies?”

“But Master — he is here — he is below —”

Voldemort paid no attention.

“I have nothing more to say to you, Potter,” he said quietly. “You have irked me too often, for too long. AVADA KEDAVRA!”

even when she literally has just lost his one mean to achieve his every goal of a lifetime, she is “bella”. even when we would expect him to tear her to pieces then and there, he had come to stand between her and harry.

the only reprimand she receives is a scowling “be quiet bella, i shall deal with you in a moment”, as you would speak in public with someone who is very close to you and you are very mad at, who shouldn’t let that closeness slip in public, especially now that she’s making you risk a lot to save her sorry ass.

i find this scene very comic, on top of everything else. voldemort is clearly so done and yet there he is, come to save his sobbing mess nevertheless.

the scene proceeds with dumbledore’s arrival, the duel and bellatrix trapped under the statue. during the duel and just after having trapped bella, we see a really curious exchange:

“You do not seek to kill me, Dumbledore?” called Voldemort, his scarlet eyes narrowed over the top of the shield. “Above such brutality, are you?”

“We both know that there are other ways of destroying a man, Tom,”

Dumbledore said calmly, continuing to walk toward Voldemort as though he had not a fear in the world, as though nothing had happened to interrupt his stroll up the hall. “Merely taking your life would not satisfy me, I admit —”

“There is nothing worse than death, Dumbledore!” snarled Voldemort.

“You are quite wrong,” said Dumbledore, still closing in upon Voldemort and speaking as lightly as though they were discussing the matter over drinks.

(...)

"Indeed, your failure to understand that there are things much worse than death has always been your greatest weakness —”

what is this fate “worse than death”, these “other ways to destroy a man” that dumbledore wants for voldemort? we know how it all ended - with voldemort’s literal death, his very disintegration (after bellatrix’s very own). what was this all about then? this one i’ll let you decide for yourself. it’s certainly peculiar, considered the context.

voldemort doesn’t respond to this, he in fact seems very provoked and sends a killing curse at him.

at the end of the duel he disappears and everyone thinks he fled, bellatrix included, who cries out his name sobbing from under the statue.

he in fact, at that, goes straight to possess harry.

And then Harry’s scar burst open. He knew he was dead: it was pain beyond imagining, pain past endurance —

He was gone from the hall, he was locked in the coils of a creature with red eyes, so tightly bound that Harry did not know where his body ended and the creature’s began. They were fused together, bound by pain, and there was no escape — And when the creature spoke, it used Harry’s mouth, so that in his agony he felt his jaw move. . . .

“Kill me now, Dumbledore. . . .” Blinded and dying, every part of him screaming for release, Harry felt the creature use him again. . . .

“If death is nothing, Dumbledore, kill the boy. . . .”

Let the pain stop, thought Harry.

Let him kill us. . . . End it, Dumbledore. . . . Death is nothing compared to this. . . .

And as Harry’s heart filled with emotion, the creature’s coils loosened, the pain was gone, Harry was lying facedown on the floor, his glasses gone, shivering as though he lay upon ice, not wood. . . .

And there were voices echoing through the hall, more voices than there should have been (...)

“...where’s Voldemort, where — who are all these — what’s —”

The Atrium was full of people. The floor was reflecting emerald- green flames that had burst into life in all the fireplaces along one wall, and a stream of witches and wizards was emerging from them. As Dumbledore pulled him back to his feet, Harry saw the tiny gold statues of the house-elf and the goblin leading a stunned-looking Cornelius Fudge forward.

“He was there!” shouted a scarlet-robed man with a ponytail, who was pointing at a pile of golden rubble on the other side of the hall, where Bellatrix had lain trapped moments before. “I saw him, Mr. Fudge, I swear, it was You-Know-Who, he grabbed a woman and Disapparated!”

“I know, Williamson, I know, I saw him too!”

this passage is ever so interesting to me, because dumbledore’s words appear to have somehow made voldemort “emotional”. they provoked him somehow. he didn’t laugh at them. he linked them to the worst pain imaginable and almost killed harry with it, posing a philosophical dilemma - if such pain is worse than death, if my life is worse than death, why don’t you put this boy out of his misery?

there’s no doubt in my mind “that pain” is voldemort’s pain. a pain intrinsically love-related. voldemort’s problems to accept/understand/feel love are the crux of the saga, his every villainy and pain. it’s so interesting that in this whole scene the train of events and thought have ultimately reached this topic (even in the movie love is mentioned here, harry literally fights the possession telling him he shall never have it).

voldemort was furious with bellatrix, feared for his plans and life and went to save her anyway. he is enraged beyond belief but puts himself between her and harry and dumbledore. while they duel, dumbledore traps bellatrix and lectures him about “other ways to destroy a man” and “worse things than death”. he absolutely hits a nerve. voldemort completely feels what he’s meaning, so much he wants to retaliate and mercilessly - he never wants to be forced to face such things, such emotions. i don’t think he’s trying to kill harry there, he’s trying to prove a point, to make them both understand how it feels to be him, how the whole concept of love feels to him. and the matter is addressed in a scene entirely built around bellatrix. in fact, finally he then grabs her, leaving everyone else to fend for themselves, and flees. he effectively saves her and her only.

to me this whole passage is directly linked to the famous scream at bellatrix’s death, and to the way the events leading to voldemort’s own death unfolded. that scream might very well be that “fate worse than death”. jkr loves parallels and to me this one is perhaps the most beautiful of the series.

this really proves, in my opinion, at what depth their relationship stands, absurdly perhaps much more abysmal on voldemort’s part than on bella’s.

anyways, i took the time to analyze this particular episode because it’s emblematic of their relationship and his way to deal with her disasters.

lucius would carry on his face the signs of this fiasco literally for the rest of the entire series. the malfoys would fall from grace because of it, probably alive only because of bella’s intercession. half of the death eaters who were present at the ministry would end up back in azkaban.

voldemort would end up defeated, furious and destined to die.

bellatrix would come out of it not only physically unscathed, but with voldemort’s child.

even when she again loses the trio at malfoy’s manor (along with the sword), everyone ends up physically tortured but her. she says she fears for her life if voldemort was to know she lost the sword, but it seems more a metaphor than an actual possibility. when the cup is stolen from her vault, he makes her leave the room before murdering everyone in it. she’s not present at dumbledore’s assasination, and that’s because she wasn’t disposable.

i don’t think physical punishments are involved in their relationship, or if they are they are very rare, and i don’t think voldemort’s reactions to her transgressions/wrongdoings are in tune with the way he reacts to everyone else’s.

bella can more than anyone with him and never really loses this status of utter closeness, no matter what she does.

this obviously doesn’t mean that voldemort is a saint with her or that he doesn’t occasionally punish her. this doesn’t mean she isn’t rightfully afraid of him.

yet, the main way i see him actually hurting bella is psychological torture and silent treatment.

and here we come back at what bella was sobbing at the ministry, her desperate “MASTER, I TRIED, I TRIED — DO NOT PUNISH ME —”.

i don’t think a warrior, a general, a woman who remarkably survived 14 years at azkaban, would ever react this way to the mere fear of physical punishment, no matter how cruciatus curses hurt. i think she would have taken it as stoically as possible. thought she deserved it, even.

no, voldemort’s punishments must be unbearable to her, impossible to even fathom, because they involve falling from his graces, from the closeness she lives for. voldemort can serve bellatrix the cold, silent, disappointed treatment of a mentor and a lover, and have bellatrix literally rotting away because of it.

this is truly the worst thing he can do to her and the thing that had her sobbing and having a fit before harry at the mere idea of it.

this is also somehow confirmed when hermione, transformed in bellatrix, meets a death eater (i don’t remember who he was) before entering the gringott. he wasn’t surprised to see bella, well, alive and physically well, he was surprised to see her out of malfoy manor, where she was supposed to be confined.

so yes, definitely the way voldemort deals with bellatrix regarding punishments is special. everything regarding his way of treating bellatrix is, to be honest.

their relationship is written in such a subtle, beautifully twisted way. i adore it. the only problem is that because of it virtually no one ever connects the dots.

[sidespart]

For the fake fic title, if you're still doing it: Why do you hate me? (I honestly don't know where I came up with this lol)

X-Men AU!!! Found Family + Anxceit friendship. TW: child soldiers, child endangerment, abuse etc

(So typical X-men universe set up: some people are born with the X gene, which typically triggers during puberty, giving that person a mutation which normally results in cool powers. Many people hate mutants for their differences (/ bad press of people using their mutant powers for the evilz) and so most mutants live in hiding. The Xavier Institute is a school set up by an extremely powerful mutant which seeks to provide a safe space for young mutants to learn to manage their powers, get a regular education and hopes to see peace between humanity and mutant kind. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants is a group of mutants who believe humans will never let mutant live in peace and do various anti-human, pro-mutant vaguely terrorist-y actions (there’s like a billion version of the x-men and these details may not be correct for all the versions all of the time because comics but this is the vague idea))

ANYWAY PLOT - Containment breach at the Super Secret Child Soldier Lab (SSCSL) - Subject VII has escaped. Subject VII is only 6-7 years old but his mutations were artificially triggered much younger than is normal. He can warp reality and create very sophisticated illusions, but has very limited control over his powers.

Cut too - Virgil and Dee, a couple of teenage mutants living on the street. They find a little boy with a buzzcut wandering around The Bad Part Of Town and Virgil immediately decides they need to adopt/help him (Dee makes more of a fuss about how this is not their responsibility and the kids barely even talking and do you know how hard I work just to keep you and now you wanna add another mouth to feed?? Huhh?? but obviously does not actually say no) (Dee is like. Barely any older than Virgil he’s just dramatic). 

Naturally, just as the three of them have had time to bond, the SSCSL and other assorted bad guys show up to try and take VII back. There’s a big fight, Virgil and Dee have a lot more experience with flight and would probably have ended up dead if the X-men (Patton and Logan) hadn't shown up to save them. 

But they lose VII.

Patton and Logan take them back to the Xavier institute to recuperate and offer to let them stay. They can go to school there, get some training and help the X-men track down VII and the whole SSCSL. Virgil says yes, Dee says no.

(So, reasoning - Virgil's mutation developed when he was 12. It was not pleasant. Various students at his school were injured and the media set up a which hunt for the mutant that caused the chaos. Virgil ran away from home because he was worried about the backlash on his family and about hurting anyone else again. So to him, this school full of mutants who can help him control his power, can offer him stability and a return to normal structures and routines, who are promising to help him get in contact with his parents if and when he’s ready?? This is like every fantasy he’s ever had come true

Unlike the other characters, Dee’s primary mutation is physical. He was born with it, its very obvious and its resulted in him being rejected for most of his life. He bounced around increasingly disturbing foster homes before running away when he was very young, so most of his memories are of living on the streets and surviving on his own. So, to him, number one: all adults are inherently untrustworthy idiots and number two: stay at a school? where they expect him to have a curfew? and, what - write essays? follow all their random arbitrary rules? rely on them for food and heat and all that shit? Completely ludicrous.)

It doesn't occur to either of them that the other one isn't going to agree with them. The resulting argument is epic and cruel, both hurling accusations at the other (Ungrateful /controlling are two of the big ones..) and both basically feeling hateful and 100% betrayed. Dee leaves and although they look for him, he’s got a lifetime experience of hiding and they cant find him.

CUT TO - 5 years later. Virgil is a (semi) well adjusted 19 year old junior X-men. He’s still a bit withdrawn, but is very close with Patton and Logan. He’s still holding out hope of finding VII one day and still firmly pretending he’s not listing out for any possible news of Dee (there were rumours some years ago of him joining the brother hood of evil mutants but then it all went quiet) who he, of course, hates for his betrayal. 

BUT THEN - mysterious knocking at the door in the night. Dee, now wearing a hat and cape and calling himself Janus, has returned. And he’s brought with him a little boy with a buzzcut and a tattoo of XXII on his foot.

Janus and Virgil need to put aside their resentment and work together to help XXII, who really does not seem interested in helping them, and hopefully use any clues he can give them about the SSCSL to track down VII. But that's difficult when they’re both still struggling with their own trauma and have no idea how to reconnect - both of them want to ask why do you hate me but are a bit too scared of the answer. ...

This already got way to long so mutant power/ extra back story descriptions under cut!

Patton - 22/27 years old. An extremely powerful telepath/empath. It takes him serious concentration and focus to not hear peoples thoughts and its almost impossible to not feel their feelings. Some people dislike him because of this as they feel he's spying on them. Grew up in the Xavier institute and 100% believes in and is committed to the future where humans and mutants live in harmony. Has pretty limited life experience in the real world. Sometimes floats. (inspired by professor X)

Logan - 21/26 years old. Fires destructive laser beams from his eyes. Was in a car accident when he was younger leaving him with permanent but apparently harmless brain damage - until his mutation developed and he slowly realised that no matter how much he trained he just couldn't control his power. Has to wear specialised eye guards at all times to keep himself from accidentally destroying everything around him. Had big plans to go to university and was angry at his mutation for a long time for getting in the way of that. Eventually enrolled online and is now a very dedicated teacher at the Institute. (inspired by cyclops) 

Janus - 15(?) / 20(?) His primary mutation is  lizard/snake like scales over most of his body, but especially the left side. Has oversized fangs, and yellow eye and a short lizard tail. His secondary mutation makes him immune to almost any sort of mental based mutation (so Logan could still knock him on his ass with his lasers, but Patton cant sense anything form him and Virgil cant whammy him). Spent a lot of his life on his own and got by being sneaky, cunning and charming. Initially took Virgil in because he saw that his powers could be useful for keeping them both safe, but eventually Virgil became his first real friend.

Virgil - 14/19. Shadow manipulation and ‘draining’. Virgil can make himself (and with practice, people he touches) literally disappear into the shadows. He can also direct shadows as powerful energy ‘blasts’, but in order to do so he has to drain any surrounding living things of their energy. When his mutation first developed  he took out half of the school hall where his exam was being held, leaving 15 students in a coma. (inspired by rouge/shadow cat)

VII - 6? / 11? Reality warping/illusion powers. One of the institutes first successful subjects. He was able to escape by changing the wall of his cell into a door. He finds it hard to talk but can project his ideas as lifelike illusions who can talk for him. One of his best is the image a handsome grown up Prince and he will often use this Illusion as an avatar to communicate. When he was 6 he did have some hazy memories of outside the SSCSL and expressed a desire to go home. Current status is unknown. 

XXI - 7.  Illusion powers  (reality warping has been removed from the program by his time as subjects proved too difficult to control). Has no memories of outside the institute and is extremely uncooperative with his new captors/guardians. He does not understand the affection they’re trying to show him and lashes out a lot, often by creating a lot of extremely disturbing and graphic illusions. Bites. 

[sweetestlamb]

If You Leave Me Now

Summary: Ms. Oh’s letter gives Cha-young courage to say what’s in her heart. 

Author’s Note: Back with another Chayenzo fic and surprisingly no angst this time, today’s episode inspired me to write this. Also fulfilled my Chayenzo fic prompt, this is what you call efficiency ladies and gents LOL I wanted to write sweet emotionally stunted Vinny and brave CY trying to let him know that he deserves love, hope you enjoy! 

She doesn’t know what she had been expecting from the letter, initially she had thought it would simply be a thank you note-though it was unnecessary Ms. Oh was always very grateful and seemed to think that her mere existence was a nuisance to those around her. The woman had been so beaten down by life and she feels a sense of pride that her father spent all these years caring for someone that all others had all but thrown away after destroying her. She would never be as intrinsically good and right as her late father, she had too much blood and bad deeds on her hands to be sanctified but helping the powerless, she had enough heart left to see that this was something she cared about.

She had spent years following her mother’s untimely death hardening herself and convincing herself that others didn’t matter to her. She was an island and she needed no one else. This was her mantra as she worked her way up the social ladder at Wusang and purchased more and more temporary happiness in the form of bags and pretty suits, materialism filled the void that was left by her lack of any true love in her life.

She gently folds back up the letter, letting the tears cascade down her cheeks the words still tugging at her heart.

The woman had come to terms with her fate, knowing that while we are all essentially dying each day her days were numbered and their was an expiration date lingering in the imminent future. But it wasn’t those words that made her cry it was the words she has never seen coming.

It seemed the only people they were lying to were each other.

Ms. Oh knew.

Had known all this time and hadn’t deigned herself worthy of revealing the secret and getting the opportunity to hear that sacred word that only one person could anoint her with.

Eomeoni. 

“It’s enough that I get to see him. He has grown up so well without me.” 

It must have been torture for the poor woman to see the very son she had given away and not be able to hold him or hear his voice as he called her mother, her smile never quite reached her eyes when he called her Ms. Oh. It was as if she was quietly waiting and suffering for the day when he would slip and reveal their true relationship but if her partner was anything he was steadfast and stubborn. He wouldn’t be saying a word, at least without a nudge. 

His words echo in her memory, “People like me don’t deserve love.”  

it was such bullshit and cop out but she recognized it for what it was, a convenient shield from his feelings. If he believed that he didn’t have any right to love then he would avoid the pain that came from loving someone, the expectations and the vulnerability. 

Squeezing the papers between her shivering fingers she grabs her phone before she can second guess herself, his number is the most recent in her call list. She had called him earlier today to see what he wanted to eat for breakfast tomorrow, it was his day to choose she had chosen last time. 

The phone only rings once before he’s answering, his voice is warm honey through the speaker she knows he is laying down in his ridiculously expensive silk pajamas. She absently wonders how it would feel on her skin. 

“Hmm what is it?” He answers groggily, sounding sleepy but patient and she can detect no annoyance at her calling so late, instead he sounds concerned and she can hear the faint sounds of him moving. 

“I’m okay. You don’t need to get dressed.” He sighs in response, the sounds of movement fading and then it’s silent except the faint coos of Inzaghi in the background. “is Inzaghi keeping you up again? Maybe you should get someone to get rid of him?” 

“No! How could I-- I mean no, it’s fine. His coos don’t bother me anymore. I find them soothing.” He replies more passionately than she had expected, he had been many hours cursing the pigeon in the past much to her chagrin but lately it was like he had found a new appreciation for the bird. It was weird. It wasn’t like the bird had saved him or something ludicrous like that so she had no idea why he was behaving like this. 

“Okay.” 

“What’s wrong? Why are you calling so late?” He hums on the other line, sounds of the kitchen reaching her ears now, he’s probably making tea he wasn’t much of a fan before but it had slowly grown on him.  She had obnoxiously bought him a huge box of tea while she had been staying with him after he’d told her how he only enjoyed coffee- real coffee not the garbage she drank, she forced him to drink them with her every morning until he started making them on his own much to her amusement. 

“Drink the chamomile tea, it’ll help you fall asleep.” 

After a small pause he answers, “I don’t have trouble falling asleep.” 

He lies and she doesn’t call him out, both recalling that night he had woken up sweaty and panicked after a dream. She hadn't questioned him seeing the terror on his face, knowing it wasn’t the right time. She had quietly made him tea and stayed up until he fell asleep, tucking the blanket more snuggly around him. 

She listens as the kettle whistles signaling it’s readiness and suddenly she feels ready too, despite the consequences. 

“Are you still planning on leaving Korea after you get the gold?” She asks suddenly, a familiar fear pressing on her chest the longer he goes without answering her and she can almost see his face- his wide eyes and the purposeful stoic look firmly in place. 

“Why do you keep asking me that?” His voice is tired, desperately so and she can hear the hidden message, “why are you making me face my emotions?” and honestly she doesn’t know why herself, she has never been one to face her own emotions not with matters of the heart. She spent years pretending not to need her father’s approval or love whilst secretly pining and desperate for any attention from him even though she had been the one to push him away first. 

It’s your fault she’s dead! 

With those vicious words she had ripped her father’s beating heart from his chest and stomped on it with her stiletto heels. Then she had joined Wusang and fought against him, using money and influence to snuff out the hope of innocent people. Maybe Vincenzo was right and people like them didn’t deserve love. 

But she was greedy and entitled and others might see that as a flaw but she didn’t care, she wanted this and she deserved it. 

“Because I want you to stay.” 

There’s no taking it back, the truth is now out there suspended between them and she can hear his gasp on the other line, she’s caught him off guard. Hell, he’s not the only one but she has already shot herself in the foot so there’s no turning back now. 

She’s all in. 

“I like you.” That’s a lie, the feelings she has for him have mowed past “like” a long time ago and are dangerously close to another L word she’s too chicken shit to admit to him or herself, she has some sense of self preservation and despite those lips devouring her own and stealing any doubts she had about his reciprocation of her feelings, she knows that he is scared of this and he could push her away in some blindsided decision to keep her safe. 

“Wh--what?” He stutters out dumbfounded and far less eloquent than the smooth mafia member she has come to know. 

It makes her smile softly, she feels honored to get to see this side of him. A side that he only shows to her. 

“I’m happy that you came to Korea and that we met. That you met my father and for a little while you were on his side. That you accepted me after everything and that you have never judged me. Meeting you as been the best luck I’ve ever stumbled on, Vincenzo Cassano.” 

The silence is deafening and she vaguely wonders if he has hung up too overwhelmed with her sudden confession and fleeing instead but the screen still says his name, “Corn Salad” when she pulls it back to peer at the screen. 

“I know you don’t think you belong here in Korea, you don’t think it’s your home. But I’m learning that home doesn’t have to be a place, it can be people too and the feeling you get around them. You showed me that.” Her heart is thundering now but she feels relieved to say this out loud too, if anything were to happen to either one of them it would break her if he never knew how she felt, what he meant to her. 

“Me? I showed you that?” He whispers stunned and she can hear the soft rustle of him sitting down, had she made him weak in the knees? She can only hope so. 

“Yes. I have lived here my whole life but I never felt as seen or accepted until I met you. You feel like home.” 

“Cha-young ah.” 

She waits to see if there will be more but that’s all he says, her name like it’s a sermon. It’s the first time he has called her by her first name despite how close they’ve grown in the past months. It sounds like music to her ears, not that opera noise he’s always listening to despite her complaining-loudly- each time she comes over but real music, the kind you would put on during those summer days where you let your hair whip in the breeze. The kind that remains in your heart even after summer has long ended and fall creeps around the corner with a cool entrance. 

“I’m happy you’re here and I want this to be your home now. I don’t want you to run away, we both want you to stay.” 

His breath is erratic over the line, even more so than when she had found him injured in the underpass. She lets him process her words giving him time that nobody else has ever received from her in the past, with him she wants to be someone who can be patient, he is worth the wait. 

“Why are you telling me all this? Why now?” He pleads sounding tortured and when he sniffles she wants nothing more than to reach through the phone and wrap him up in her arms, he sounds so young and confused. 

“I don’t want to have any regrets. Not with you.” She answers honestly, the letter staring at her from the table words catching her eyes. 

“I can’t let him know how much he means to me. I know it is not my place to ask this but please love him dearly and let him know he is important and needed everyday. Letting him go was my biggest regret, I hope you will be stronger than I was.” 

Like she had a choice anyway, she had told herself many times that she shouldn’t have feelings for him but every time she saw him smile or watched him torture someone to get them closer to taking down Babel all of her logic went out the window and she couldn’t help but imagine a life for them after this was all over. Korea, Italy, Malta, it didn't matter where they went as long as they were together. She had no intention of letting him go, not without a fight. 

 If that made her a villian so be it, he had been the one to train her how to be one in the first place. 

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know how I feel about you. I’m sorry if I kept you up.” 

A long pause follows her apology and with a sigh she goes to end the call, he hadn’t outright rejected her and that was more than she had been expecting. She would regroup and make a thorough presentation of why they belonged together and why exactly he should either stay in Korea or let her go with him after they defeated those corrupt scumbags. 

“It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.” He admits, forgetting his earlier denial of this very fact. 

“Are you drinking the tea?” 

“Yes, I am. You left so many of them here. I told you I’m not a tea drinker.” He states contrary with the loud slurping she hears over the phone. 

If she were anyone else his seeming dismissal through ignoring her confession would be heart breaking but she knows him too well now, is too aware of the dark inner workings of his mind and much he is overthinking every word she has uttered and cataloguing every reason that they shouldn’t be together, her safety is most likely top of the list. Old habits die hard and regardless of her constantly telling him that they should face everything together, she knows that there is still a lot that he hides from her in a guise of protecting her. His story about a nail pulling his suit plays out in her head. 

“Tea is best for insomnia. Get some rest, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

She hangs up first, staring at the picture she had sneakily taken of him when he had been distracted in the office. It had been a long day and he had abandoned his jacket and loosened his tie, a sign that the day had taken its toll on him. She didn’t know what came over her but she found herself picking up her phone and snapping a picture of his side profile, he looked so handsome. When he had looked up and seen her on the phone, she pretended to be texting someone and walked away, her heart racing until he shrugged and looked away. 

“I won’t give up on you Vincenzo Cassano.” She promises, putting the letter back into the envelope and making her way to the bathroom to complete her nightly routines. 

Face scrubbed and teeth brushed to minty perfection, she walks across the moonlit room tugging down the sheets and crawling in, being so open and honest had been emotionally exhausting. 

The things she did for him. 

Getting comfortable in her bed she reaches out to plug in her phone to charge, but the tiny envelope icon on her phone catches her attention, she must have received a message while she was in the bathroom. Curious, she swipes her phone open before clicking on the message, she tells herself not to be too hopeful it’s probably not him and she’s going to be disappointed when it’s just a telemarketer trying to get her to switch tv providers. 

“Oh,” She stares at the message, the light from the phone the sole source of illumination in the dark room besides the moon glowing through her curtains. She has no words, no thoughts either all she can do is feel and even that is difficult with too many varying emotions raging war in her body. She had tried her damnest not to expect anything, knew that he wasn’t ready to face his feelings and he might never be able to say how he felt about her, his actions would have to be enough. She would have accepted it as enough, having him was more than enough. 

But as the message stares up at her, she realizes she had been lying to herself when the wave of unfiltered joy that crashes over her washes away her sandcastles of lies. 

You are already my home.  

It’s not the passionate confessions that are glorified in dramas, there’s no rain or dramatic slowing down of time, he hasn’t even said those coveted three oh so special words; on the surface he has barely said anything at all but to her his words are a blanket on a cold wintery day,  she has only ever wanted someone to stay and now she has found that. 

Loving him feels like coming home. 

[louiszeastronaut]

“𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎... 𝙸 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞” - Tom Riddle x y/n

Note: So basically, I took the dialogues from a scene in Little Women, when Laurie proposes to Jo, but she rejects. Then I replaced the two characters with y/n and Tom. I tweaked some sentences in the dialogues, and wrote the sentences outside of the dialogues with my own words just to make it fit the story... I haven’t finished it (3/26/21 I guess I finished it?) because I wanted to know if you all think I should continue or not. Idk what this is man lol.

Warnings: terrible grammar and punctuation mistakes :)) Word Count: 1,447

March 19, 2021

    “Penelope married” you said aloud.

    “Nanette of to Europe.” there was a brief pause between you and Tom.

     “And now that you’re a graduate you’ll be off on a long holiday” you continued, panting as you walked down the sloping hill.

    “I’m not good like Padma, so I’m angry and I’m restless.”

    “You don’t have to stay here y/n” he suggested

    “Why?”      “Should we run off and join a pirate ship?” You joked, turning your attention back to him, grinning at yourself. You peered at him just after laying your eyes on the orange and red maple trees that lie so vibrantly, and vastly ahead of you. Then you saw his solemn face. And yours fell into a yearning grave of its own.

    “No. No…”  you stared blankly at him, knowing what he’s hinting at.

    “It’s no use y/n” he reached for your hands, but you neglected it and pulled away “Y/n we’ve got to have it out…”

    “No please don’t-

    “I have loved you ever since I’ve known you y/n I couldn’t help it!”

    “Tom… no-

    “A-and I tried to show you, and you wouldn’t let me, even though I struggle to show it to anyone-

   “But I must make you hear it now, and give me an answer because-” he said through a weighted sigh, “Because I cannot  go on like this any longer y/n!”

   “No..”

  “I gave up the dark arts, I gave up everything you didn’t like, I’m happy I did. It’s fine. And I waited and I never complained!” He cried aloud, spectacles of tears starts forming in his eyes, then rolling down his pale cheek.

    “Cause I-“ he paused, face angry and flustered that he’s showing his rather pathetic side to you, and letting the fact that he’s showing this just to profess his love, is absolutely harrowing and ludicrous! Even for him. But he can’t seem to hinder himself away from it, nor does he feel like he has to, because at this point he had to finish what he didn’t originally appointed to say.       “Cause I figured you’d love me y/n!” He yelled.

    “A-and I realized I’m not half as good enough-

    “No! Yes you are!” You exclaimed back.

     “And I’m not this great man, and-

     “No! No Tom, yes you are!” “You are.” He stopped talking, catching his breath so you finally had your turn of say.

     “You’re a great deal too good for me” you say as you pointed your finger on his chest, nudging it reassuringly. “And I’m so grateful to you. And I’m so proud of you and- and I just don’t see why I can’t love as you want me to“ you pleaded. “I don’t know why”

       “You can’t?” Tom asked in a whisper, his eyes darted away as you hear the echo in his voice.

       “No… I can’t- I can’t change how I feel. And it would be a lie to say that I do, when I don’t”

       “I’m so sorry Tom-“ your eyes still fixed on him, you could see him thinking, biting the insides of his cheek. “I’m so sorry” you repeated more imploringly. “But I just can’t help it…”

        “I can’t love anyone else y/n I only love you” he admitted

         “Tom it would be a disaster if we were married, okay?”

         “It wouldn’t be a disaster!” He argued

          “We’d be miserable-

          “GOD BE A PERFECT SAINT!” He yelled

           “I CAN’T! I can’t! I’ve tried it- and I’ve failed!” you exclaimed, your words trembling in the end. You realized you were staring directly through his cold grey eyes, used to be full of depth and sudden rupture, but now clouded with his blinded feelings that you can’t help but hopelessly deny. Both of you let the words hang over the air for a while...

           “Why does everyone expect it then?!” He continued, “Why does your family and my friends expect it?!”

           “Why are you saying this?! Say yes-“ he nudged his hand forward, offering you something you have stubbornly refused many times in this feud “And let’s be happy together.”

          “I can’t say yes truly. So I’m not gonna say it at all. And you’ll see that I’m right eventually and you’ll thank me for it“ you explained grabbing ahold of both his freezing hands in front of you, making sure he understood where you’re coming from. Your clutch loosened as he writhes away from hands.

         He breathed out more heavily than before, head shaking, headspace nowhere to be found. He was tired of rambling and letting his words foam out of his mouth. It was quiet for a brief moment that it felt like everything around you suddenly vanished, and you two were left alone with only your souls crying out to be heard by the other. The air was taut and quiet, that you noticed his uneven breathing patterns, and only then you recognized that your heart was beating the same way. Beat. Breath. Beat… Breath… Beat…..

       “I’d rather hang myself then realize this y/n.” He broke the silence.

        “Tom-“

       “I would rather be dead.”

       “Tom don’t say that!” you bellowed wearily. He put his hands in his pocket and started walking away. You could see his jaw clenching, you’ve learned from your time spent being with him that he does this only when he’s angry. But, not like this. He’s still trudging even more further down the hill, his shoulders bouncing as gravity pulled him down, so you had to catch up.         “Tom, listen...” “You’ll find some lovely accomplished girl!” you say as you flailed your arm in the air, then reach up to grasp his shoulder from behind, while resting your other hand on his tensed back. Only to find him tearing his arm away from your touch, rather harshly. You felt his hurt. You felt guilty for ever making anyone feel this way. Especially if that ‘anyone’ is him.

        “Who will love you and adore you, and- and she’ll make a fine mistress for your fine house! But I wouldn’t alright?!” 

        “Yes you would y/n...”

        “Tom. Tom- look at me!”  “I’m homely, and I’m awkward, and I’m odd!” 

         “I love you y/n....” Tom said in a monotone voice, watching you play out and degrade yourself as what you think your negative qualities are, just so that you could point out to him why you think you two shouldn’t be together. 

         “And you’d be ashamed me of me-” you added

         “I love you y/n.” He interrupted, repeating the same words but more clamorously this time.            “And-and we would quarrel, we can’t help it even now!!!” you shouted, later noticing how unapologetically you sounded. You wanted to keep talking but you decided to stop to catch your breath first. You could feel the burn rising in your throat from yelling, but you continued on.           “I’d hate elegant society, you’d hate my scribbling... and we would be unhappy, and we wished we hadn’t done it! And- and everything will be horrid-” You ranted. You opened your mouth again to say something but decided against it. Now, you’re looking down at the ground as you think how you might’ve made the situation even worse. You can’t imagine what Tom’s feeling right now... for all you know this was the only time he has ever confessed his bigger emotions that you didn’t know he had.                  “Anything more?” He inquired, laying his eyes upon you after looking away for a few seconds.            “No...” you answered,“Nothing more...”

          “Alright.” He whispered while nodding simultaneously, clenching his jaw again. He hiked up the hill slowly, dragging his feet along the sharp grass.

           “Except that-” you appended, not knowing what choice of words you should declare next. As you searched your thoughts, asking your own brain to form the correct words, Tom shot his head back quickly. Bobbing his head along as he approached you again, as if he was waiting for you to say that you might feel even the slightest bit of devotion that you are willing to give to him in that tethered heart of yours. Unfortunately for him, still, that’s not what you’re after.

       “Tom...” you started “Tom- I don’t believe I will ever marry...” you dismissed through a forlorn scoff, admitting this to yourself and to him for the first time because you believed that that’s where your fate have destined you.         “I am happy as I am, and I love my liberty to well to be in any hurry to give it up”

       “I think you’re wrong about that y/n...

       “No...

        “I think you will marry y/n.” 

        “I think you’ll find someone and love them, and you’ll live and die for them because that’s your way and you will...

        “And I’ll watch”

(Finished?)

[starshine583]

For the soulmate thing, can you do k or b for felinette?

(Okay I have Too Many Thoughts for b- like, a whole fic long thoughts -so I’m just gonna do k for now lol hope you like it!)

Everyone has a soulmate. Everyone. No exceptions. It may be a romantic soulmate or it may be a platonic soulmate or it may be some other type of soulmate entirely, but everyone has at least one type of soulmate. However, finding a single soulmate in a world full of billions of people can be tricky. That’s why the gods bestowed mankind with a most thoughtful gift: the lock and key.

When a person is born, they are provided with a lock or a key that’s wrapped around a chain. Sometimes it is on the wrist, sometimes the neck, sometimes it wraps around one’s entire torso, and it is said that, once on, the chain cannot and will not be released until that person finds their other half. When they do find their other half, though, the person with the key will open the other’s lock with a satisfying *click* that will release their chains, and they will be newly free together.

At first, the idea sounds ludicrous. People with keys would be frantically running to try every lock, while people with locks would be trying to frantically find other keys to get the chains off. There would ultimately be more chaos than before when the world was trying to find soulmates without help.

Except there’s a catch.

When two soulmates start to get near each other, their lock and key will begin to act as magnets. The closer they get, the stronger the pull, and eventually, they’ll be running towards each other until one’s key slides perfectly into the other’s lock. Some rumors even talked about a few people getting dragged down the street by the force of the magnets.

Unfortunately, a certain Miss Marinette Dupain-Cheng couldn’t attest to whether those rumors were true, because she hadn’t found her soulmate yet.

Oh, she’s tried everything. She’s worked overtime at the bakery to meet new customers, she’s idly walked around Paris for hours to see if the key would pull in a certain direction, and she’s tried forming deep bonds with everyone she knows in case that was a factor she didn’t know about. And yet, despite her desperate attempts, nothing’s worked. Her key continued to lay across her chest, unmoving and mocking. Was there something she was missing? Something she was doing wrong? Why couldn’t these things come with proper instructions?

Her parents told her to wait, that she would find her soulmate eventually, and perhaps that advice would be easier to follow.. had most of her classmates not found their soulmates already. Mylene found Ivan in kindergarten, Juleka and Rose found each other in first grade, Max found his soulmate at a tech lab, Alix and Kim found both of their soulmates around the same time during dares, Chloe found hers at a gala, and even Sabrina found hers a few years back. That left herself, Nathaniel, and Nino still waiting on soulmates, which she took a bit of comfort in. If she must wait endlessly for her other half, at least she wasn’t waiting alone.

But then Alya came along.

And Marc.

And Marinette suddenly felt much more isolated than before.

Everyone around her was happy and in love, and yet her key still refused to move. Her only solace at that point was the fact that Adrien hadn’t found his soulmate either.

Unfortunately, that also gave her another form of torture: hope. Hope that they would be soulmates somehow, that her key and his lock were simply lagging in action, and that someday Marinette would be able to be linked to that beautiful, sweet, sunshine boy for the rest of her life. 

Sadly, a hope like that only crushed her more when nothing ever happened between them. He sat in front of her everyday in class and talked with her all of the time, but her key continued to dangle around her neck. No tugging. No dragging. Just dangling.

One day she tried to throw it away, so frustrated and bitter towards the whole thing, but the chain didn’t break no matter what she did, which was honestly expected. The locks and keys wouldn’t be considered nearly as mystical if their chains could break off at the slightest bit of force. 

Annoyed and confused and worried, Marinette resigned herself to the fate she’d been given and went on with life, telling herself that her soulmate would come even though she didn’t quite believe it. She continued to speak with Adrien on the whim that her key would decide to work and busied herself with friends and work and Ladybug duties to avoid feeling the weight of the chain around her neck, and after a while, she started to feel okay. She didn’t think of her soulmate as much, or where or who they could possibly be. She simply lived her life and consciously ignored Chloe’s teasing towards her being “soulmate-less” or anything else related to soulmates. If life wouldn’t give her her other half, then that clearly wasn’t what she needed.. or at least that’s what she told herself. 

It was a few weeks into this mindset that her heart truly shattered from the pressure, but it wasn’t because of anything Chloe had said.

Adrien Agreste, the boy she’d been uselessly pining after for over a year, her supposed last string of hope, had found his soulmate, and it wasn’t her. It was another girl that Marinette didn’t even know, someone by the name of Kagami.

Marinette broke down that day. She’d managed to slip out of the classroom during the cheers and cries of congratulations and hide in the bathroom, and even now her chest ached from how hard she’d cried. A part of her felt guilty over it, since this was supposed to be a happy day for Adrien, but all Marinette could see was a cruel sentence suddenly pushed further onto her than before. A life without a soulmate, alone. She’d figured that if Adrien, the embodiment of perfection, could still be searching for his soulmate, then she had nothing to worry about. Now that he’s found his, though, she’s not sure what to do or where to go. Should she try to meet more people again? Or get used to a life of solitude? Why couldn’t her soulmate be close to her like everyone else? Why couldn’t her key just work!

It’s been about a week and a half since Adrien found his soulmate, and Marinette, still “soulmate-less”, found herself sitting in their usual classroom once again. The weight in her chest had gotten noticeably heavier, along with the chain around her neck, but she made an effort to ignore it, idly rubbing the key that was the source of her troubles as she waited for her other classmates to arrive.

“Did you see Adrien’s posts about London?” Alya asked excitedly next to her. She’d done her best to comfort Marinette in the last few days- as any good friend should -but in the end, they both realized that a conscious ignorance towards the matter would probably be best.

“No.” Marinette muttered. She hasn’t touched her phone in a while, specifically since Adrien mentioned taking Kagami to London to meet the rest of his family. “Why, did something happen?”

“Only him showing us how great the country is!” 

Alya slid her phone over to Marinette to show her a few pictures. Most of them were landscapes such as the Big Ben, the House of Parliament, and what she assumed was St. Paul’s Cathedral, but one had people in them, people that Marinette didn’t recognize. There was a girl on the left of Adrien with raven hair and brown eyes, clearly Kagami- and wasn’t it cruel irony that they both had the exact same hair color? So close, yet so far! -and then there was a boy on the right of Adrien. He had pale, blond hair that was combed to the side and pale eyes that almost appeared to be silver. His neutral expression highly contrasted the bright smiles on the faces of the couple next to him.

A sense of curiosity pricked in the back of Marinette’s mind, and she straightened to get a better look at the picture. “Who’s-”

The question caught in her throat no sooner than she started it as something lightly tugged on her neck. Her body tensed up, her mind reeling with the possibilities as she glanced down at her key. Did it really just move on its own? Or did the key simply shift on her chain as it had done a million times before? 

“Marinette?” Alya asked, concerned.

Marinette shook herself from her thoughts, mentally scolding herself for being silly. The key couldn’t have moved, because everyone in this class had their soulmates already and she was certain none of the other students at Dupont were her soulmate. The key probably shifted on the chain again, like usual.

“Sorry, I’m fine-”

Another tug, and Marinette gasped as she saw the key actually lift into the air. What was happening? Why was it moving now? She didn’t see anyone new around.

“Yo, Adrien!”

The girls’ attention turned to Nino- who was waving towards the door of the classroom -then to the doorway, where Adrien Agreste himself had just entered. Marinette had forgotten that he was returning today, but that was the farthest thing from her mind right now. She was much more engrossed in the fact that her key was tugging on her neck again, this time harder, more insistent. Whoever her soulmate was must be getting closer, but who could it be? Was someone new to the school? She didn’t hear about anyone transferring.

“How was your trip, man?” Nino asked as he met the blond at the door.

Adrien flashed him a bright smile. “It was great! Aunt Bridgette really like Kagami, and I actually brought someone back for you guys to mee-”

Marinette let out a yelp, accidentally interrupting Adrien’s story as the key abruptly jerked on her neck. It pulled her to her feet and almost dragged her over the desks as well, but she managed to gain enough control and follow the magnetic pull down the stairs.

Alya, along with a few other classmates, gasped and got to their feet as well. “Woah, Marinette! You’re about to find your soulmate, girl!”

Marinette let out an anxious squeak as she stumbled towards the door. She was about to find her soulmate? But how? Who would it be? It almost looked like the key was pulling her towards Adrien, but that wasn’t possible! Adrien already had a soulmate. Unless something really strange was happening-

The key practically flew forward now, taking Marinette with it, and poor Adrien didn’t look like he was going to have time to move. She squeezed her eyes shut and covered her face, already blurting out apologies for the collateral damage she was about to cause.

Her hands landed on someone’s chest, both parties grunting from the hit, and a distinct sound reached her ears, one she’d memorized from listening to too many youtube videos at night.

*Click*

Marinette’s eyes snapped open, her jaw dropping with shock. Was that what she thought it was?

She didn’t see the signature black shirt and white jacket of Adrien Agreste- the person she’d originally assumed running into -in front of her, but instead found her fists curled into the dark grey material of a vest.  It took a second more to realize that Adrien was actually standing next to her now, his eyes just as wide as hers. 

At the center of the mystery person’s chest was a lock, clear as day, and inside that lock was her key, fitting comfortably in the socket that it had forced itself into. This was… this was it. This was the miracle that people had told her about for fifteen years. Her soulmate was here. 

The chains slipped off of her neck, bringing a strange sense of weightlessness to that area, and tentatively, Marinette’s gaze trailed up to the face of the partner that fate had given her. 

Immediately, she was struck with recognition. The pale, blond hair sweeping across his features, the grey-ish eyes that she could now pinpoint as an icy, steely blue, the sharp eyebrows and facial features- this was the exact same person from Adrien’s pictures of London that she’d seen only a moment prior.

But who was he?

Alya grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her with an enormous squeal. “Girl!! You’ve done it! You’ve found your soulmate!!”

“I..” Marinette trailed off, at a loss for words. She had. She had done it. She’d found her soulmate at last. It’d been so long since she gave up on having one that the experience felt surreal, like a dream that was too good to be true. Please don’t be too good to be true.

“Adrien, are you going to introduce them or what! You said you brought this guy here to meet us, right?”

At Alya’s insistence, Adrien snapped out of his trance, and so did the boy in front of her, apparently, because he extended a hand to Marinette.

“Apologies, I.. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mademoiselle.” He said sincerely, his voice soft yet steady.

A blush exploded across Marinette’s cheeks, and she couldn’t help flailing slightly before she took his hand. “O-Oh, uhm, yes. Nice to.. to meet you too.”

“Everyone,” Adrien spoke up, an ear-splitting grin now on his face, “This is my cousin, Felix Culpa. Felix, this is my wonderful friend, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

“Marinette..” Felix muttered, as if he were testing the name on his tongue. Then he smiled. It was a small, quiet thing, not nearly as bright as Adrien’s, but it melted her heart faster than Adrien’s smile ever could. “That’s a beautiful name.”

“T-Thanks!” She squeaked out. “Y-You’re really beautiful too- er, I mean- wait, no-”

A chuckle tumbled from his lips, and she caught the faintest blush tinting his cheeks as he lifted her knuckles to his mouth, pressing a light kiss to them. “Thank you, but I’m surely nothing compared to you.”

Marinette’s blush deepened, but before she could decide whether to argue his pure radiance as a human being or thank him for his second compliment, the bell cut into their conversation.

“Oh!” Alya said. “You guys are totally sitting together. I’ll sit in the back if I have to.”

“Oh, Alya, you don’t have to-”

“Nope!” Alya insisted, already jumping up the stairs. “This is the greatest moment of your lives! You’re taking time to enjoy each other.”

Marinette supposed she could fix the seats herself by sitting with Alya in the back, but.. she really didn’t want to, especially when Felix slid his hand fully into hers as he stood next to her. Besides, if everyone was fine with it, why should she fight it?

“Mind if I join you for class?” Felix asked, a light note to his voice.

Marinette offered him a warm smile and squeezed his hand. “Nothing would make me happier.”

Fifteen years just to get a look at Felix Culpa..

It was definitely worth the wait.

(Send me a letter ask and I’ll do a thing!)

[floatinginwords]

Saved by the Devil (9/?) - Tommy Shelby

Summary: Reader goes to visit tommy at his office (sorry im bad at summaries lol)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader (Its getting romantic i promise. slowly but surely)

A/n:  sorry this took so long to post and make. Semester is already kicking my ass and making me stress. Hope you enjoy and have a fantastic night. 

It had been a week since you’ve seen Thomas. Since you told him that you wanted to help him. At first, he was very confused. He had expected you to be angry with him or maybe even cry. But you had asked to help assassinate a general with him.

 “Im not getting you involved”

 You ignored him already piecing together what the plan might be, “You wrote down, 23-24 seconds? Your gonna kill this guy in that a mount of time with a guard outside and possible more inside. Plus the guy fought so he’ll know self defense…” You had begun rambling and he was just baffled.

 “Stop.” He told you, you were making some good points but he didn’t want to bring you in this mess. It was his alone that he must face.

 Before the two of you can argue any further, Ada called for him. A phone call she had said. He left you room and never came back. And that was a week ago. You annoyingly asked her everyday and night when he was to return. Now that you knew of the plans and what he was involved in, you couldn’t just let it go. It was dangerous, you knew that. It wasn’t your run of the mill assassination. You don’t know how Thomas was going it on his own or how he even planned on doing it. You had heard the Inspectors words. You know that that held animosity toward the peaky blinder. You can hear in his voice, you felt it in his punches. There was no way that he would give him everything he promised. Thomas needed to be one step ahead of the game. Which you were already conducting for him. You weren’t sleeping as much at night anymore anyway so writing down every scenario and idea you had. And then when that week was done you had it.

 “Ada, Ada, ada.” You ran through the halls calling for her.

 “What is it?” She asks coming out of her sons bedroom, probably fishing tucking him in for the night.

 “Your home in Birmingham, I need the address. Or the pub your brother owns.” You say to her with paper and pencil in hand ready to write down what she tells you.

 “Why?” Ada raises an eyebrow before passing you to go to her own room. You follow her.

 “Ada please.”

 “Why are your trying to see my brother? Didn’t you tell me you weren’t gonna work for him?”

 “I never said that.”

 “What do you like him or something?” Ada fake gags at her own words. Your cheeks warm a little bit but you keep a serious face as you tap the pencil to the paper.

 “Its not like that.”

 She stares at you long and hard. “I called him for help when you never came home. The man rushed over here like you wouldn’t believe.”

 “Ada, an address.”

 “ (y/n) your my friend and hes also my brother I just-“

 “Its just business.” You scoff at her.

 She sighs, “He had someone about a year ago. She was the barmaid at the pub.”

 “I’m not interested in your brothers history.” You can feel your temper rising at this topic jumping she was doing to you. It wasn’t about what she was implying at all. You wanted to help him that was all. You didn’t care about who he was with years ago or even now.

 “You are in his whereabouts.”

 You bite the inside of your cheek. Ada tilts her head and smiles, thinking she’s got you. You turn around ready to leave to your room when she finally spills the address for you.

 ***************************************************************

You stood outside the building where Ada told you was Thomas’s office. You hoped he was there to hear you out. You were going to try to convince him but you had no certainty that you would succeed. You walked inside to find a bunch of woman inside talking.  One was short and very pregnant, the other tall and slender and the last one a bit older but looked the scariest out of all of them. They stopped talking as soon as you entered.

 “Umm excuse me…” You stuttered under their judging glares “Im looking for Thomas Shelby.”

 At first none of them say anything. They continue to stare at you. You meet the older ones eyes. You regret it instantly as you feel a fearful shudder go down your spine. That was a woman you did not want to mess with.

 “What do you need with mr. Shelby?” the tall one asks

 “Look at her Liz, what do you think she’s here for to take your place,” the pregnant one snickers.

“Shut up Esme.” The older one says.

 “I just wanted to talk…if he’s not here….” You trail off.

 A door in the back opens and out walks the devil himself. He glances up expecting only the three woman from himself maybe Michael or Finn and instead finding one more woman amongst the group; you.

 “(Y/n).” he simply states putting his hands in his pockets.

 You don’t say anything observing how awkward and tense you feel with these women.

 The older one speaks up, “Is this how your getting my son out of jail, Tommy. By fucking some whore?” She spats at him venom filling her voice.

 You’re about to speak up for yourself when Thomas opens his mouth first.

 “She’s not a whore, Polly. And Michael will be out soon. (Y/n) step inside..” He gestures for you to go in to his office. You feel very heavy under all their stares as you walk. You remember the name Michael. He was the young boy at the horse auction you had met.

 Thomas closes the door after you. You sit down crossing your legs and lacing your fingers together. Thomas sat next to you on the chair rather than across.

 “You’re looking better.” He says noticing the bruises on your face were fading.

 “Thank you,” You say, “They seemed on edge, is everything all right?”

 “That’s just the way they are.” He says.  

 You don’t say anything and just stare him. You knew he was lying. He chokes under your gaze.

 “Arthur and Michael are in jail. I’m working on it though.” He says swallowing hard. You didn’t press further, you could tell he was having a rough time.

 “I hope it works out.” You say, you clear your throat and adjust your self on the chair, “You shouldn’t kill the general at his house.” You spit out.

 “Jesus Christ Woman.” He says shaking his head.

 “Hear me out.” You plead.

 “Why do you want to do this?”

 You ignore him. Instead you tell him your whole plan. How he could kill two birds with one stone.

 “If your still going to Epsom, you can get Sabini. Maybe not kill him but screw him over. Are you still seeing May?”

 He nods.

 “Good you probably already know she’s got influence on the board. You use that to your advantage when you take Sabini men licenses. You go through her to get your men to what they need. Then the races are yours.”

 “How will we burn their licenses when theres fukin police everywhere.

 “They wont be around when they hear gunshots.”

 He takes a moment letting your words and plan sink in. He rubs his lip.

“We could burn the license’s gonna have to threaten them to take it,” He says muttering to himself, “The general why would he even go there?”

 The two of you talk for hours inside that little office of his. Drinking and talking of the plan. He tried to shut it down multiple times, trying to get you think twice about getting involved. But your mind was already made up. He seemed to like you idea, adding on to yours and even sharing details of the private mission of to you. It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders as he told you the how he had even gotten involved in this political mess.  Soon the drinks clouded both your minds and it was no longer business that you were just talking about.

 “So what you want out of this?”

 “You said the government involved right with this…the prime minister knows what your doing?”

 “Aye…”

 “Then maybe he could get me a new name or-“

 “Why do you need that?” He asks you

 “You can never live just one life…” You smile trying to joke.

 He stares at you intently, “Why did your father lock you up in that place?”

 Your smiles drops, he notices it his eyes softening just a bit. “Sorry, it just came up in my head.”

 “Do  I sound crazy to you or something?”

 “Its just a question ive had in my head for awhile. Its none of my business.” He stares at you deeply.

 “No its not,” You say softly, “I don’t know why he put me there either. Maybe cause he could. I mean I never asked him.”

 “So when you get your new name what are you gonna do? Ride out in the hills, find a husband, push a few kids.”

 You laugh at him, he smiles when the sound hits his ears. “You should smile more, Mr.Shelby.”

 “Tommy. Why do you call me by my last name.”

 “Its too make sure you don’t get comfortable. This,” you gesture to the two of you, “is strictly business.”

 “Why of course. Another drink?” He asks getting up for more whiskey. You nod. Your cheeks were flushed and head dizzy. You were beginning to forget what self control was. You mouth moving before you can even comprehend your next thought.

 “Ada told me how you had someone last year.”

 He stops pouring the drinks to look at you. His back stiff and free hand curled into a fist.

 You continue talking, not looking at him. You weren’t looking at nothing in particular really. “I never had anyone.” His figure relaxes when he looks you more closely. Your body a bit limp, eyes glossy, your speech a bit slurred. You didn’t hold your liquor too good.

 “What else did Ada say?”

 You giggle remembering. Ada thinking you had a thing for her brother. How ludicrous! You glance toward the man, a little smirk resting on his pink lips and head tilting toward you. His blue eyes shining at you with an emotion you couldn’t quite detect. A strange feeling flutters in your stomach. You stop giggling and clear your throat.

“I think I should go. It was good talking to you.” You stand up way too fast. You begin to see black spots all over and the loss of balance.

 ‘Fuck’ you think to yourself, thinking about how your gonna embarrass

yourself falling to the floor.

 But then you feel a pair of hands grab at your arms and spin you around. You fall into Mr.Shelbys chest and for a moment he holds you there. And for that moment you smelled the cologne and whisky on his clothes. You felt the calluses on his rough hands against your soft skin. You felt the slight beating of his heart in his chest. You think if you look up you’ll get to see if the blues in his eyes are as clear as you think em to be.

 But the moment is gone an you both step away from each other, awkwardly. You swaying on your feet trying to regain balance and him hitting the drawer behind him.

 “You shouldn’t go home at this time (Y/N)” he finally says deciding to ignore what just happened. Which was fine with you. You felt very nervous all of a sudden and very, very confused.

 “Come with me.” He says taking you by the crook of your elbow and leading you out of the building. You didn’t want to admit that you liked the way it felt when he had grabbed you and the two of you walked out together, you couldn’t help but think of when and if he would do it again.

Read Pt.10

Tags

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @evelyn-4034

@ms-dont-care

[vs-redemption]

Tis i 🐱 anon I’ve been Mia for a bit lol. But I had the idea of Dabi with an assassin reader that was either 1) recruited into LOV or (2) was sent to kill Dabi but fell in love etc. whenever you can pls ily thank you ❤️

From Cindy:  🐱 anon! I love you ♥♥ And I missed seeing you in my inbox. I’m sorry it took me a bit to get to this request. I’ve been busy due to the holidays. My sister stayed at my house for a few days and we watched the entire first three seasons of Haikuu. lol Now she’s obsessed too *evil laughter* Anyway, I really hope you like how this came out. It might take a turn you don’t expect.

Bullseye (Dabi x Assassin!Reader)

The name of the extraordinary ability you had been born with was documented on the government’s official quirk registry list as “true aim.” It was a simple, yet accurate title for the power which allowed you to hit any target with pinpoint accuracy. No matter what, you never missed the spot you were aiming for as long as you had a clear path. The only drawback was that you had to be within twenty feet of the target. Anything further than that began to lose detail and required something greater than perfect 20/20 vision.

When your quirk had first manifested, you’d been pretty excited to think of all the creative ways and situations in which such a power could be used, even though the adults around you were quick to point out that most of your ideas would be considered illegal by the suffocating and suppressive laws enforced in your country. Such restricting rules had instantly rubbed you the wrong way, and that slight irritation had grown into full blown resentment by the time you’d graduated high school with the reputation of being a trouble maker. Your teachers and other authority figures never seemed to appreciate the way you dared to question the way things were, or that you constantly tested your boundaries by trying to get away with using your quirk in any given situation.

Your refusal to conform to rules made it difficult to get into a college or even hold a job. You even ended up getting banned from several bars and sports centers for having an unfair advantage against other people playing darts or other precision games. The discrimination drove you to look for the freedom and acceptance you craved in less respectable parts of your city. It was in some back alley pub where you’d met a crooked broker named Giran. He sympathized with your situation right away and convinced you that if people were going to villainize you no matter how you used your quirk, you might as well live up to the exaggerated and often times false accusations made against you.

The partnership began with small crimes, but grew more serious as time went by. However, it had still been quite a shock the first time Giran asked you to take care of a hit that had been put on some random scum bag who’d done some bad business with a different random scum bag. Your hesitation waned after seeing the reward money and you accepted the job. The power of your quirk in combination with the black market weapons you’d received from Giran made completing the task a piece of cake. You got a thrill from the easy money, and decided you’d take more jobs like that from then on. Reports of your assassinations spread until you’d earned the nick name “Bullseye” by the press. By the time Giran offered introduce you to a member of the League of Villains, you’d already made it onto the country’s most wanted list.

“Well, if it isn’t the infamous ‘Bullseye” everyone’s been talking about.” The moment your eyes landed on Dabi, you began questioning Giran’s judgement for the very first time since you’d met him. You didn’t like making assumptions about people based on appearance, but there was something about the fire villain’s presence that put you on edge right from the get-go.

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance,” you nod politely. “You must be Dabi.”

The recruitment process was a little tedious. Dabi asked a lot of personal questions about your goals and motivations which seemed weird coming from a guy who left piles of burnt corpses around the city. It wasn’t the questions themselves that gave you pause though, it was the taunting little comments he made at your answers, and the lazy smirks he gave you every now and then. There was something about the intense look in his half lidded blue eyes that got under your skin as well. It was like he was trying to rile you up. But even though you weren’t a diehard follower of Stain or anything like that, your skills as a killer allowed you to pass the interview, earning you a spot in the League of Villains.

The weird feelings you had about Dabi only increased as you spent more time with him on missions and at the hideout. The way his eyes lingered on you always gave you chills, and certain things he said lingered in your mind until you couldn’t focus on anything else. You tried your best to ignore him, but sometimes you lost your patience and ended up bickering with him about the stupidest things.

“Can you try to control your fire please?” You’d tell him irritably. “I can’t do my job if I can’t see where I’m aiming.”

“Sure thing, doll.” His answer just irked you more due to the mocking undertones in his voice.

“And do you really have to monologue for your victims every single time?” you snap. “You’re such a drama queen!”

“Oh, would you rather I focus all my attention on you?” the playful glint in his eyes does weird things to your heartrate and all your pent up feelings finally come to a boil. Keeping a cool head was important for you, especially as an assassin, but Dabi had gotten on your last nerve.

“I swear I’m going to actually murder you!” you say through clenched teeth. “Every time I look at your face I feel sick to my stomach. Your eyes and smirk invade my thoughts and drive me to distraction! You’re annoying comments make me feel like I’m actually on fire, and I really just want to punch you in the face.”

Dabi’s blue eyes go wide and he stays silent for a moment as your words sink in. Then, slowly, he’d make an expression you’d never seen grace his face before… an actual genuine smile.

“Wow,” he says while shaking his head. “Do you even hear yourself? You’re even more emotionally constipated than I am.”

“What do you mean by that?” you ask and the way his gaze softens threatens to trigger your fight or flight response.

“Do you want to punch me?” He asks seriously, “Or do you want to kiss me?”

“What?” of course the mere suggestion sounds ludicrous for a moment, but suddenly your thoughts shift and everything clicks into place. His eyes and smirk didn’t give you a stomachache, it gave you butterflies. And your reaction to his teasing comments wasn’t real rage at all, you were just flustered. All the pieces meshed together and formed a conclusion in your head. “I have a crush on you.”

“Oh?” He was surprised that you’d make such a bold statement after misreading your own feelings for so long.

“And yeah,” you say with a weird amount of resolution, “I think I do want to kiss you.”

A victorious look blooms in Dabi’s eyes and that obnoxious smirk spreads across his face. He opens his arms and beckons you to come towards him. “Well, come on then doll,” he coos. “Don’t keep me waiting.” You let out a sigh and narrow your eyes at him.

“But I think I’m still going to punch you first.”

[wickednerdery]

Title: Out of Time: Only Time Will Tell Author: @wickednerdery Fandom: Marvel Pairing/character: Loki x Stark!OC Rating: Mature Summary: “I want to trust you, Loki, so help me do that.” Notes: FINALLY continuing my strange little foray into cyberpunk with Loki on a futuristic Earth (after his escapes with the Tesseract in Endgame?). Just language in this one, still getting back into it, lol!

Masterlist - Previously

Loki gives Ana’s hair an assertive tug, demanding obedience, so that she grunts. Exhale is a growl for both before her look softens - fighting might be fun, but it’s not the optimal move. At best she gives Loki a reason to close down and become “the bad guy”, which she neither needs nor wants. “I want to speak to the brothers.”

“What?” His aggression remains in the question, but confusion seeps as he relaxes his hold on her. 

“The brothers who helped you save the girls.” She slowly steps back, blonde locks slipping through the god’s fingers. “You said you’d get them to speak with me, to help me trust you.”

“...Yes.” It feels like a trap, no one trusts him. Even with assurances, even when he means it, even when they should.

“I want to trust you, Loki, so help me do that.”

“And if I don’t produce them?”

“Then I’ll find them myself, or my people will, and we’ve no reason to speak again.” Ana guesses at her leverage; that Loki wants to continue this interaction, whatever his reasons might be.

The god smirks. “I’ll be determining whether not we speak again, Ms Stark.”

“In 30 seconds my head of security is coming through that door.”

“I can handle a single man.”

“Like you handled The Hulk?” All signs of amusement falter as he calculates the odds the man is anything like Banner. “I’m not asking you to do anything but bring those brothers to me and in exchange -”

“I will stay here. With you.” Loki names his price, a ludicrous one even by his standards, but he’s curious what she’ll do.  

“Deal.” She smiles, more at Loki’s puzzled expression. “Tony, make sure Orson gets the ‘all clear’ so he doesn’t come in geared and set up a location for my guess.”

“This is a terrible idea.” Tony counters, but obeys. The AI sends The Cap back to storage and begins reorganizing rooms and security to accommodate a god his core programming doesn’t trust.

As the elevator dings Ana steps to shield Loki from however Orson might enter.

“I tell you to leave Loki alone, you invite him to stay with you.” Orson’s voice drawls, as if he’s not bothered. As if this is what he expected all along, because this is what he expected all along. 

“We need him.”

“No, we don’t.”

Loki smirks, looks back from the windows. “Come on, Mr Shaw, this’ll be such fun.”

“I think your fun and my fun are very different, pal.” It’s still a drawl, but there’s an edge to it. Protective and irritated both. “What do you get out of this anyway? Why help Ana at all?”

“Does it matter?” Ana breaks in from where she’s pouring herself a drink. 

“It might.” 

“Not to me.” Her attention turns to the god. “You get the brothers, I’ll give you board. You fail and I’ll block you from contacting me by any and all means necessary.”

“And if I just get one?”

“Then our deal isn’t complete, is it?” She smiles out of her sip. “But I’m not unreasonable, you’ll just have to find somewhere else to stay.”

“How long do I have?”

“As long as needed.” She comes around the counter to approach. “But, until I get to speak to them, you don’t get to stay here.” She sips, then adds. “You can take The Cap as assistance.”

“No.”

“He knows the city and I can patch in any information I gather to him directly.”

“You were the girl at the market.” He knew it!

And Ana’s smile confirms it. “Just try not to break him. He’s one of a kind and a bitch to fix.”

Loki chuckles. “I’ll do my best.”

“Then I’ll set him up to go out.” Preferably without being easily identified as Steve Rogers’ Captain America. Without another word she leaves to find and adjust The Cap’s programming.

Orson remains on the couch, watching the god carefully. “Seriously, what are you getting out of this?”

“A good time.” Loki grins. “And a way under your skin, apparently.”

“Nothing gets under my skin.”

“Do you love her? Little Miss Ana Stark.”

The mutant smiles faintly. “Don’t get too excited, it’s paternal.”

“I’m sure it is.” He isn’t, he’s seen Ana and knows nothing of this head of security.

“But if you fuck her on this, if she ends up hurt in any way because of you, I’ll make it my mission to kill you.”

Loki’s smile flickers as he turns to look back out the window. “You can’t possibly imagine how little that matters to me.” 

Holy shit I finished a piece of fanfic, lol! I know this is mostly filler, but it’s something and I had to do it from scratch after realizing the other in-progress chapter actually didn’t work for this story as a whole. If curious why this took forever all I got is...real life and muse issues. Orson is not Talos, he’s an X-Men based OC I had before Captain Marvel came out, just happens to be the same actor. Thanks to anyone still reading anything by me, lol!

All gifs made found on Google, credit go to whoever their makers are!

Still/Always playing with this one, feel free to share ideas/thoughts/suggestions/headcanons!! 😉

Tagging: @lady-crowned-with-stars​​​​, @beccaliciooouuusss​​​​​, @fuckthatfeeling​​​​​, @v-2bucky​​​​​, @ultrarebelheart​​​​​, @tarithenurse​​​​​ @latent-thoughts���​​​​ @chibiyanai​​​​​ @lukeevansandjdmobession​​​​​ @sweetfictionalworld​​​​​ @ladyfluff​​​​​ @theangelsfightwithdevils​​​​​ @holykryptonitekitten​​​​​ @kpopgirlbtssvt​​​​​ @michellearel1​​​​​ @mousee555​​​​​ @dangertoozmanykids101​​​​ @toozmanykids​​​​ @iwasbusybeingdead​​​​ @biiskuitx​ …If you wanna be added, just lemme know!!

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Never say never - Chapter 13

Here's a new chapter of my main story (I forgot to go on posting lol)

Fandom: RPF- Richard Armitage

Characters : OC x RA

Rating : Mature

Warnings : RPF (and factually incorrect and very soppy)

°13° ­~Victoria~

She had expected questions and intrusive crowding, but her friends and their friends, sat motionless around the table still. Victoria saw that they had unpacked every single book and movie she had bought and put them into piles, though she could not discern the logic governing the separate piles.

“Have a nice chat?” Liza asked after a moment of Victoria just standing in the door, wordless, chewing on her lower lip.

Victoria, in turn, gave an assenting grunt and handed Martin back his phone with a grateful smile.

“More information, please?” Angie demanded, crossing her legs, and putting her folded hands upon them like a school mistress ready to listen to the recitation of a particularly hopeless student. Victoria bristled.

She had to dig her heels into the floor to keep herself from turning around and fleeing the room. Adulthood somehow boiled down to the absence of the heavy, constraining hand at the back of her neck, and Victoria had a tendency to bolt every chance that she got. Afterwards, she always felt ashamed because she knew that she had not solved anything by just leaving a situation in which she felt uncomfortable, but she had not learned how to face her instincts and overcome them.

For her, it had always been a matter of being able to follow her reflexes or being forced to go against them.

It pained her to discover that her instincts were all wrong and, what was worse, not only did they neither soothe nor protect Victoria herself, no, they also usually ended up hurting someone else.

“We…we talked. I said he’s welcome to come here if he cares to. He said he’d help me set up any other furniture I might need.” She felt and sounded sheepish, Victoria knew, but she didn’t know how to make that very normal conversation sound like the outrageous exchange of dark confessions the others apparently expected.

“Oh, so I’ve been made redundant? And I had hoped you’d let me watch the movie with you.” Hiddleston winked at her.

Big breath, Victoria told herself, this was good, this was healthy, don’t run, stand your ground.

“You’re welcome here, little fairy-lord. You can come watch the movie with me.” She said in a tiny voice.

“Oh goodie good good, we have made piles of movies we want to watch along with you…on your fancy new TV…” Angie clapped her hands and, finally, Victoria understood the piles. “You naughty girl, you.” Liza laughed.

“Naughty?” Victoria blinked. She did not see why she would be naughty for watching movies. Had her father been right, and they corrupted the impeccable morals he had tried to instil in her? Were movies the devil’s dark corruption after all?

Martin had called it “porn”, she remembered, and a cold shiver ran down her spine.

“What are you talking about? Have I done something wrong?” Panic seeped into her voice now and she was starting to feel a little dizzy. She knew that Liza sometimes made crude jokes, but up to this point, she had never been the butt of these jokes.

“Liza!” Angie hissed, rushing to Victoria’s side to soothe her with shushing noises and tender caresses. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” She said, but Victoria could hear that she was lying, as noted before, Angie was a terrible liar.

“Yeah, low blow, I’m sorry. So, what else does Armitage say?” Liza lifted her hands apologetically and leaned back in her chair, knowing that Victoria would most probably shrink back from her if she was to approach right now.

“He wanted to go over some comments in the script with me. We might meet up if he finds the time. I gave him my number.” Victoria narrated in an emotionless voice; her mind still occupied by the accusation of being a naughty girl.

Angie threw a look at her wife that was so earth-shatteringly severe that Liza didn’t even dare make a face at that. Unfortunately, Jenna had not picked up on it and so, still snacking on the pizza crust, she asked: “Really? You gave him your number? Cute.”

Victoria stared at her for a solid 2 minutes; her mouth was bone-dry, and her tongue seemed to be glued to her teeth. She barely heard the warning hiss Angie gave her employee. Her head was spinning; she was entering territories of supposition and innuendo she was painfully unfamiliar with, and it scared her.

“Cute?” She gasped, feeling the tears of helpless perplexity burn behind her eyes, ready to spill over. Victoria had never given this number to any man, because the last time she had given a man her private telephone number, she had had another number, she had lived in another city, she had led a very different life.

“It’s not like that. It’s professional.” She tried to defend herself weakly. It was true, she had met that man twice in her life, and both times, it had been with Liza in the context of that ludicrous side-job she had accepted to keep busy.

On the other hand, she was a single woman and, as far as she knew, he was a single man. She was a recent divorcee; he had never been married. He had slept with a thousand and one nameless women in his life…and she had only ever had one sexual partner and had never expected having to think about another one.

“Fuck.” She cursed. There were no Saints that came to mind to call upon in this situation. She should have trusted her gut feeling and pull out of this whole story while she was ahead; she should have left this first evening right away and never return to that damn room. She should have kept her door closed tightly.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry…I’m sure that he knows that it’s strictly professional.” Jenna tried to calm her, but her eyes were wide and worried now.

“OH! Will he? I’ve invited the man into my home, haven’t I? Like Delilah to Samson, oh Lord…” Victoria groaned, all of her compounded trauma harrowing her to the brink of tears once again. What would he think of her? Did he believe that she wanted to throw herself at him like a common prostitute? Did he expect that? Would he be violent if she refused?

If he thought that her intentions had been indecent, surely, he would not try to contact her in any way or form, would he?

“Like…Vic, do you intend to seduce him and cut his magic…hair?” Liza mocked, but when she saw the expression Victoria’s face, she fell silent instantly. She waved Hiddleston and Martin aside, feeling that they should not draw attention to themselves.

“Vic,” she pleaded, “look at me, girl. It’s okay, you’re safe. It was a dumb joke, nothing more.”

Liza knew that she had gone too far too fast; Victoria was in her living room while it was dark outside, together with 4 people who were attracted to women and yet, she had only made the connection once Armitage had been mentioned.

Devout and faithful, Victoria had only ever known the man she had married, in the biblical sense, and it had been overzealous of her to believe that she might take another lover so easily. There were too many things to unravel before.

“What have I done?” Victoria sobbed and the dam broke; hot tears broke their way out of her system, and she cried pitifully for a few minutes straight, shaking so much that her teeth clattered as if she was standing naked in the snow.

“Victoria? Is there anything I can do for you? You can talk to me.” Hiddleston offered and his calm demeanour managed to pacify her enough to shake her head slowly. “I have acted abominably. I…just can’t do anything right.” She croaked.

“That is not true. You’ve been frightened and overwhelmed at first, but you’ve been a kind hostess tonight. We had fun this afternoon, didn’t we? What is it that upsets you so?” Hiddleston took her hands and brushed his thumbs lightly across them in slow, gentle circles.

“What does that poor man think of me now? He will believe I am completely insane!” Victoria lamented, tears still running down her cheeks in regular intervals. “No, he won’t. He’s not a monster. We all can see that you’ve been through some things, but we’re here to make it better. And, as you said, it’s strictly professional. I’m sure he knows that.”

Hiddleston exchanged a look with Martin. Richard knew, but that didn’t prevent him from maybe hoping that one day, it wouldn’t be so. As far as one could make any assumptions based on Victoria’s erratic behaviour, she seemed half scared to death that it might turn into something that wasn’t all that professional anymore as well.

“You’ve had a stressful day, why don’t we leave you alone? I’m surprisingly free the next few days, so if you want me to, I can swing by tomorrow and while I go have my picture taken, you can choose some more furniture. And then, we finish the movie? What about that?” He coaxed her into calming down until a puffy face and a pathetic hiccup were all that remained of her passionate outburst. “Yes, I’d like that. We can go have cakes in the afternoon?” Victoria replied.

It was easy to like Hiddleston, and that discovery surprised and amazed her. He was kind and unobtrusive; he had a good sense of humour, and, most importantly, she was in no way attracted to him.

Oh, he was glorious, there was no denying that, but he reminded her too much of that friend she had dreamt up as a child – when she had lain in bed, lonely as can be – to be in any way titillating to her. He made her wish that she wasn’t an only child; he made her long for siblings, for someone to go to for advice and solace.

Never would she look at him like Jenna did: with big, longing cow-eyes that were starry with wordless adulation.

Vic’s mind slammed on the brakes again. Jenna did stare at that man like he had literally just fallen from the sky and, when Vic had proposed to go to the tearooms, her breath had stumbled for a second there.

Jenna had a crush on Liza’s friend.

Victoria was utterly baffled. Were things that easy in the normal world? Did people just meet someone handsome and kind, and then allowed their heart to leap into their eyes? Victoria could not fathom being that brazen and reckless.

“He’s right. Let’s retreat. I’m sorry, Vic.” Liza shooed the others out of the room. “Good night, dear Victoria. Thanks for the pizza. I hope we can be friends now.” Martin spoke gently as if to a sick child or to a fretful mare.

“Sorry for being such a mess. Yes, sure we can be friends. Thank you so much for the poppets.” She picked them up gingerly as she followed the others out of the room and turned off the lights in the living room.

“Not the kind of plastic dick people usually keep next to their bed.” Liza mumbled under her breath, which made Victoria skewer her with a scandalised, speechless look. “Sorry, it was too good to miss out on. You know, because…”

Victoria lifted her eyebrows in an expression of annoyed impatience; the joke went completely over her head.

“Richard is abbreviated Dick. You know…” Liza wagged her head from side to side to make very clear that she was only making a very tasteless joke and not attacking Victoria in any way. “Funny.” Victoria commented, her face so stern and forbidding that she would have given Armitage and Macfadyen a run for their money.

“They will not be kept next to my bed…once I get the proper décor for them.” Victoria then snarled. “Décor?” Martin was interested by that comment, his hand on the doorhandle already but his face turned to Victoria, eager to hear how she would proceed.

“I guess I’ll have to go to the pet shop to get a proper set-up where they’d feel at ease.” Victoria shrugged.

“They’re inanimate dolls.” Liza cried out, horrified at the idea that her friend would procure a cave and a hobbit-hole for two toys. “They’re the only friends I have now.” Victoria shot back with a dark smile.

“Ah, come on. I love you, girl. You know that I love you, don’t you? I’d never want to do you harm.” Liza smiled warmly, hugging Victoria to her chest, and breathing in her warm, clean smell. “Go to bed.” She breathed and left.

And so, Victoria went upstairs with her poppets, laying them gently on the pillow next to hers before getting ready for bed. She brushed her hair and her teeth, applied creams and serums, and put her clothes in the laundry basket…only to return to an empty bedroom. For all anybody cared, she could have gone to bed dirty and dishevelled; nobody would ever have known.

Shaking her head, she dispelled those thoughts forcefully. She had made progress today, she had opened her home to other people, and she had taken two different, hasty, and informal meals with them. She was not sure that her friends were aware of the fact that she had never lived alone before in her life and that those experiences were completely new to her, but she felt the excitement of having had acquaintances over.

A couch, she would buy a proper couch for her little sanctuary so more people could come and enjoy movies with her.

She was on the right track, she could feel it, and so she fell asleep, her poppets next to her, with a blissful smile.

~Richard~

He was an idiot. He had nothing to do the next few days, but he had made it sound as if he was terribly busy.

She had assumed that, and he had been too proud to clear the misunderstanding up, which made it only fair that now, the ball was in his court, and he would have to contact Victoria to plan a…meeting.

He would not call it a “date”, because first of all, it wasn’t a date, and second, he didn’t want to play into the hands of Martin and Elizabeth who had been aiming for that kind of thing apparently.

She had sounded breathless but not as hostile as before tonight. She had given him her number and he couldn’t stop fidgeting with the paper; by now, he had saved her number in his phone and on his laptop, just in case that he reduced the poor note to dust by handling it so much.

What would he say though? Should he give her a call or just text? He had said he’d text her, but he wanted to be on the phone with her again; it seemed that they were doing alright on the phone even though she frequently checked out of the conversation to talk to other people.

By now, the others were certainly gone…No, he would not call her again when he had nothing new to tell her. He wondered if she would have reached out if she had his number; women were usually better at that than men.

Sexist, cool, he was going insane at a rapid pace. Pictures of her, kneeling on the floor and praying to her various saints to protect her from whatever it was that haunted her so, rose inside his mind; he wondered if she slept in long, flowing, weirdly anachronistic nightgowns or if she went to bed in an old ratty sweatshirt. Both had their own appeal.

God, it was late, and his mind was wandering in all the wrong directions. He would not think of her in bed, he had no reason or right to do so, she had not given him any cause or encouragement to take that path down a very slippery slope, but he could not forget the small moans he had caught now and again.

Of course, they might have been groans of exasperation and impatience, but even so, there was something within him, deep beneath the parts of his mind he had any control over, that had responded ferociously to the breathless sound.

Maybe, he should just get it over with and send her one of those texts that only informed her of his number…

[bestworstcase]

replies on this post ( @ngocthach4020​, numbering mine ):

Counterarguments:

1 - While I do agree that Zhan Tiri does a good job making it seem like she does care about Cassandra, the fact that Cassandra trusted a total stranger for over a year in itself makes her intelligence dubious at best. Not to mention Cassandra never asks the total stranger who mysteriously knows this much about her for her NAME during all that time, nor tries to find out anything else about her.

2 - Rapunzel is the heir to the throne. Of course she’s going to get more recognition than Cassandra. Cassandra herself was given multiple guard assignments throughout Season 1, cheered on by the people of Corona even when she came second place to Rapunzel at the Challenge of the Brave, and trusted with leading the assault against Varian in the season finale. This isn’t even getting into how she has plenty of opportunities at Ingvarr or Vardaros.

3 - The people of Vardaros focused on Rapunzel despite preferring Cassandra over her, yes, but that doesn’t change how they treated Rapunzel like dirt and Cassandra seemed to LIKE that.

4 - In the song I’d Give Anything, Rapunzel does acknowledge she wronged Cassandra.

5 - Just because Cassandra has legitimate grievances, it doesn’t excuse her trying to murder people who never did anything bad to her, which she does several times throughout Season 3.

firstly: i mean this in the kindest way possible but none of these are actually counter-arguments to the point i was making, which is that cassandra has very good reasons for her decision to trust zhan tiri and be emotionally vulnerable with her in the house of yesterday’s tomorrow. #2 is the only one relevant to the subject at hand, #1, #4, and #5 all concern things that happen after the incident being discussed and are thus irrelevant, and for #3 it’s unclear to me what point you think you’re countering and also, i have no idea what you’re talking about. 

but as with anything i have plenty of thoughts

#1: i have two thoughts about this one

the first is that this is, first and foremost, a writing issue. for whatever reason, the writing team was not interested in digging into cassandra’s character arc in s3, and they also were not interested in developing zhan tiri as a character, and they really were not interested in elaborating on the cass + zhan tiri friendship whatsoever. the end result of this lack of interest is that all of this character development is gestured at or loosely implied, and the vast majority of their relationship occurs off screen. we are shown their first meeting in relative detail, given a handful of brief glimpses that mostly comprise zhan tiri saying a line or two while cassandra listens and glares, and then given the end result of cass doing whatever zhan tiri tells her to do until a narratively convenient plot device is inserted to make her stop. the character development in this arc is extremely poor. no one is arguing that it isn’t. 

however my second thought is that, as a consequence, “cass travels with this person for almost a year without ever asking her name or trying to find out anything about her” is not, in fact, canon. that’s a matter of interpretation. (eg: i spent the entirety of the first half of the season assuming that of course cassandra knew who zhan tiri was, my reaction to CR in this regard boiled down to “well if cass didn’t already know that was zhan tiri she certainly does NOW,” RTTS did nothing to change my mind, and i was legitimately taken aback when OAH confirmed that cass just didn’t know. all of this was a plausible interpretation because so little of the cass + ziti relationship actually develops on screen. there is SO MUCH information missing.)

the point being: the only canonical information we have regarding zhan tiri’s identity and cassandra’s knowledge thereof is that cassandra doesn’t learn zhan tiri’s true identity until OAH. this does not preclude cassandra pressing the issue and zhan tiri lying to her by telling her a fake name, or feigning ignorance (a la “i’ve been trapped in that house for as long as i can remember and i have no idea where i came from or who i was before then,” which is absolutely a plausible cover story given the kind of things tromus pulled off whilst team corona was trapped in the HOYT and that cass herself has very recent experience with magical memory loss), or masquerading as an aspect of the moonstone itself (which is at least plausible enough that a good chunk of the fandom theorized that that’s who she was in the early half of the season). 

there is, frankly, no evidence to support interpreting cassandra’s “who are you?” as “i’ve literally never asked this question before” instead of “you told me things about yourself that i believed but it’s not adding up anymore so i’m confronting you on your lies” or vice versa, because... we just don’t know. i personally favor the latter interpretation over the former, because it makes more sense to me, but the text is unclear.

all of which is to say: the post was about why cassandra trusts zhan tiri initially, a questions which - as i said in the original post - is answered very clearly on screen. there is not enough canonical information about the development of their relationship afterwards to do anything more than speculative analysis, ie headcanon, regarding how zhan tiri cultivated that trust. for what it’s worth my personal assumption is that zhan tiri continued to act as she does in RR, fostering the emotional connection between herself and cassandra, and that shortly after the stinger in who’s afraid of the big bad wolf (ie their second proper meeting) she gave cass some explanation of who she was and what she wanted. i also make the general assumption that they shared a lot of conversations during the long walk back to corona because it is ludicrous to imagine otherwise. 

#2: cassandra is a commoner who was indoctrinated from birth with the cultural belief that the lives of the royal family are more important and have more inherent worth than her own. this only intensified once rapunzel returned to corona. cassandra exists in a system that chews her up and spits her out without so much as a thank you, and rapunzel is the center around which that system orbits. “rapunzel is the heir to the throne so of course she gets more recognition than cassandra, her servant” isn’t, in fact, a counterargument. that is exactly the problem. the world cass is in is inherently devalues her personhood. even her own father repeatedly prioritizes his duty to the monarchy over the wellbeing of his daughter.

in s1, cass is given guard duties which she is expected to fit around her already extremely busy schedule as a maid and lady-in-waiting to the princess, all without ever being made an actual member of the royal guard. she is given, in other words, all of the work and responsibility without any of the recognition, salary, benefits, or job security afforded to actual guards, and she is expected to do it during her scant time off. and she does it all with the constant unspoken threat of being sent to a convent against her will if she screws up looming over her head. that’s not... privilege or an opportunity, that’s flat out exploitation. 

even in SOTS, she is only put in command of the assault on old corona because most of the higher officers of the guard are out of commission, including the captain. and this happens mere hours after her father forcibly sends her to a convent, which really underscores what little autonomy cassandra has in her life and how capricious and arbitrary any “opportunities” that come her way in corona are. 

yes, she is better accepted in vardaros and the queen of ingvarr did at one point extend an invitation for her to join the battalion in ingvarr, but—again, that’s not really a counterargument. “cassandra would have to leave her home and move to a foreign kingdom in order to be treated with respect and live as her authentic self” is an enormous indictment of corona itself. 

#3: the vardarans are less than receptive to rapunzel attempting to force her sunny demeanor onto them and react with hostile indifference when she persists even after being told—by multiple people including vex, quaid, cassandra, and iirc eugene—that her behavior was not wanted or welcome. they make their opinions known without making any attempt to soften the blow, but—with the one exception of “ya clod” lady—none of them harass or bully her. i’m not sure where you’re getting “they treat her like dirt” from. they treat her like people who are annoyed with having someone else’s culture jammed down their throats by some foreign princess, which,

cass, by the same token, enjoys being surrounded by people she “clicks” with and with whom she can just relax and be herself, and she repeatedly cautions rapunzel against trying to make the vardarans act, think, and feel like coronans... in other words, she advises rapunzel to be culturally sensitive. and she’s right to do so. cass doesn’t start gloating about being better liked until after rapunzel lashes out at her and makes a huge deal out of cass’s events being different / more in tune with vardaran culture than her own. 

#4: things rapunzel does a full year after cass meets zhan tiri in the shell house are not relevant to the question of why cass trusts zhan tiri in the shell house and also lol no... she doesn’t? these are the lyrics of i’d give anything: 

[RAPUNZEL] I know we've grown apart It breaks my heart in two I miss your company The closeness we once knew

I won't pretend to know Just what you're going through But I'd give anything for you Yes, I'd give anything to relive everything with you So if you find that you're in darkness or despair Though you won't turn to me Please know I'll be right there Name any sacrifice I'll pay the price that's due 'Cause I'd give anything for you Yes, I'd give anything to relive everything we knew Yes, I'd give anything For you

i don’t... know how to read an expression of apology or even just acknowledgement of wrongdoing into this song because it... isn’t there. this is the exact same sentiment rapunzel spends the entirety of s3 expressing, which is that she misses her friendship with cass and would do anything to get it back and she doesn’t understand why cassandra is so upset. and frankly it really. does not reflect well on rapunzel as a character because cassandra explains her grievances very clearly at the beginning of the season: “my whole life, i’ve been cast aside for you. no more,” followed by, you know, the entirety of crossing the line.

like even just... compare rapunzel’s lines at the top of crossing the line:

[RAPUNZEL] This has to stop now Whatever it is that you're going through We'll fix it together, me and you Just like we've always done

to her lines in i’d give anything: 

I won't pretend to know Just what you're going through

there has been zero growth. zero recognition of the fact that cassandra has, by the time of i’d give anything, told rapunzel what she’s going through at least three times. (she laid everything out for rapunzel in the dark fortress after taking the moonstone; in gothel’s mirror room in TOTS, cassandra expressed her anguish over gothel’s abandonment and her feelings of inferiority; in OAH, cass used feldspar’s play to fumblingly express her difficulty sharing her feelings with rapunzel; and if you want to count the BVA rock telepathy and cassandra furiously screaming “i don’t follow your orders anymore!” in CR, that brings us to a total of five times that cassandra shares at least part of what she’s “going through” with rapunzel only for it to, apparently, go in one ear and out the other because by plus est raps is still like “what could POSSIBLY be GOING ON with cass.”)

the closest rapunzel ever comes to expressing her own wrongdoing is the mealy-mouthed “we both did things wrong” sentiment in OAH (“maybe you’re right and it is your fault, rapunzel... partially...”), which she then undermines by going essentially “but if you had just told me how you felt then none of this would have happened” (ignoring that cass... did... tell her how she felt... repeatedly... in s2...) and rapunzel acknowledging that it was probably annoying to deal with a sunny “flower child” when she was fresh out of the tower (which is true, but entirely glosses over her treatment of cass in s2). in the former instance it’s unclear what, if anything, rapunzel truly thinks she did wrong (certainly “not listening” isn’t it), and in the latter case she is apologizing for being ~too free-spirited~ in the first couple weeks after the tower which... wasn’t even the problem back then and certainly wasn’t the core problem in s2. and by her own admission in i’d give anything rapunzel still doesn’t even understand why cassandra was upset in the first place, let alone how she may have contributed to it. 

like the utter dearth of development between cass and zhan tiri, this is ultimately a writing problem that reflects poorly on the character, rather than a character problem per se. for whatever reason, the writing team didn’t want to examine the legitimacy of cassandra’s actual grievances—which by extension meant that they couldn’t write rapunzel as having any awareness of those grievances, so the end result is cass obsessing over gothel and rapunzel spending the entire season baffled, just baffled, about what cass is so worked up about, all while sadly pining for the friendship they used to have and vocalizing a desire to get it back but simultaneously ignoring everything cass says about why she’s upset, because rapunzel listening to cass would require rapunzel to genuinely wrestle with her own role in what happened, which isn’t possible because that would loop us back around to all those legitimate grievances that the writers just didn’t want to (or couldn’t) deal with.

but tldr no at no point in the narrative of s3 does rapunzel genuinely acknowledge the actual things she did wrong by cass.

#5: i’m genuinely not sure why you think this is even relevant at all, unless you somehow read “cass did nothing wrong” into the argument of “it is both natural and reasonable for cass to trust the one (1) person who appears to give a damn about how she feels,” which i think says more about you than it does about me. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day  /  i want the world to go away  /  i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake  /  i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

[dull-bun]

was that callout post unironic? like you actually believe women writing mlm smut is inherently fetishizing? i genuinely thought it was a joke at first when i read it. yes, some women fetishize mlm, but writing mlm smut isnt inherently fetishizing. im saying this as a gay man. ive personally written smut about m/m, f/f, and m/f couples. its all in good fun and an exploration of how characters would interact in an nsfw context.

i didnt look at that individual's blog yet, so maybe they are fetishizing mlm, i dont know. but the wording of your post is very clear that you think just the act of a woman writing mlm smut is problematic, which is ludicrous. if the person youre calling out genuinely did something wrong, people wont notice from your callout, because they'll see the way you phrased it and find your claim ridiculous. callout posts that focus on a non issue are unfortunately common, and are a real problem, because they lead people to become desensitized to callouts. ive seen so many bogus callouts that at this point, i see "callout" at the top of the post and i have a 90% expectation that it'll be bullshit.

if this person really did fetishize mlm, id reccomend trying again with the callout and providing specific examples of the fetishization. if not, just block them and move on with your life, since you dont like their content.

lol first I DID block them jesus ch r i st Uhhh I said I was done talking about her but um s i r ?? Okay, lets say she isnt fetishizing mlm relationships, right? Then she is letting minors read her work. From what I’ve seen she isn’t saying anything about it, which she should. (This only goes for smut content, minors reading fluff and angst is fine ig) She also made smut of a character in a child’s body She mostly makes well, smut, and it grosses me out. She makes a lot of ABO too which I feel like is fetization, idk it was always odd to me. This is now, personal against me, but she’s,,, ugh, I wouldn’t like her even if she didnt write total bullshit. She doesnt like a character and will never write for them because he ‘gets in the way’ of her love for another character I feel like she’s sexualizing mlm relationships because she mostly writes just smut of them, which I guess wouldn’t be wrong but she is a female. The reason I hate people of different gender writing smut of two genders that they are not is because I feel like that place should be reserved for someone else. oh and well, mlm and wlw (especially wlw) has been sexualized so much by straight people, and if she’s straight it would be icky if she wrote that shit. And no lol, I will not change the post. It gets my point across well enough. *YAWN* anyway, from now on I’ll be deleting any asks about this shit, I honestly hate y’all defenders so much HAJABKWDB (also where are you looking, there is almost no callout posts unless you’re actively looking for them. Sure one or two may pop out but??? Also sucks that my post is top for like a few hours but you could’ve just ignored it man idk) lol anyways I just woke up from a nap whats u p

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I JUST NOTICED ITS STUCK TO ANOTHER HEAD AND THE BOTTOM HAS A FACE WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT