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smartie-chan · 2 months ago

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Long rambling incoming in 3,2,1...

I know that I'm not really any kind of big celebrity in the Stobotnik world. The only thing I've got going for myself is the fact that I've been there since the very beginning, with my one 'I'm so proud of this community' Meme getting a like or two every full moon or so. It's also been a hot second since I've written a Stobotnik Fic, and yet, I've never really left the fandom. Far from it.

So boooooy, when that trailer dropped, let's just say, I've been going wild! That being said, I have calmed down a tiny bit and woud like to share my two cents with you all.

Especially since, considering how gay the trailer was, I've noticed people kind of leaning into either of two camps.

Team 1: They might actually make it canon y'all. This is not a drill!!!!

Team 2: This is the most intense queerbaiting I've ever seen, but fuck it, take my money!

Now, I will tell you where I'm standing at the end of things, but let's talk facts before I do, shall we?

I know Jim & Lee were having fun on set during Movie 1, but I doubt either of them expected us all to get quite this feral over these two evil man. In fact, I'm not sure what their plans were for Agent Stone in general. I'd love to believe that they saw us freaking the fuck out and decided to make Stone a big part of the sequels because of that. But then I look at the Robotnik Mushroom Planet scene and think: They gave this man an actual stone to hold onto, going so far as to carve Stone's face into said stone, just so he could pretend he wasn't alone and Stone was still with him. Clearly, Robotinik was never willing to admit that he cared, admit that there could be someone who he had allowed to get close, given that there had never been anyone before who had cared enough about HIM, so why should HE make the mistake of caring about someone else either. Cause, you know, it's easier to pretend there's noone than admit that there could be, just to realise that you were wrong actually. And yet. Despite all that he held onto Stone the stone, like his life depended on it. I love that scene because it's hella gay, but I love it even more because it's amazing writing, giving us the payoff for the forshadwed "I won't miss you when you're gone" scene from way back when. They didn't have to do that. And yet they made that choice. Included that moment for a reason. So I'd love to think that even back then, they were very willing to play with the dynamic of them going forward.

Clearly things and plans changed After Movie 1 , after we saw these two and made Stobotnik as big as it is. I'll talk about movie 2 in a hot second, but let's return to the way they promoted 2 first. Cause THAT was CLEARLY queerbaiting ... or was it... ? For you see, they knew what they were doing, they knew how to get us all excited , posting this on Valentine, letting Sonic make a heart, drawing the whole thing in a romantic light, going so far as to include bi-lighting in the trailer. On top of the latte art that was designed to get us queers to show up. I saw that art, freaked out and showed it to all of my friends. One friend, let's call her Barbara, smiled at me, like you smile at somone who still believes in the Easter Bunny and told me she hoped I knew they were playing with me. In fact, she was kind of dissapointed I allowed them to get to me so much. And I KNEW. I knew they were trying to bait me. I'm not stupid. This isn't the first time I've been queerbaited after all. And it won't be the last time, that's for sure. And yet, I didn't care because I loved that they acknowledged us. Loved that they were willing to give us something, even if it wasn't actually real and they were clearly NEVER going to include actual ship latte art of Stone & Robotnik together. Cause that would be gay. Haha. And those two totally weren't gay. Ain't I right? :)) Queer rep has gotten more common and yet, so has queerbaiting. Cause nowadays the chance that something could be actually made canon is way more likely than it was, let's say, 15 years ago. So companies love to use that, love playing into that even more. Like, do I have to remind you all what they were doing for the Deadpool & Wolverine movie marketing ??? Just saying.

As much as I love Lee and as much as we're loosing our marbels every time he as much as winks in our direction, I'll not be using any of his posts as evidence for the points I'm about to make further down. Cause, you know, at the end of the day, he's just one of us as well. Another shipper. A hella supportive shipper who may or may not have had a hand in the way he portrayed Stone, but still. Love you Lee. Thank you for having our back!

So now. Movie 2. And the godforsaken Maid Dress Scene. I hope we are all proud of ourselves. Cause that scene was our doing. I promise you, promise you!!! they didn't have that planned before the fandom happend. They saw us and were like "You can have this. As a treat :3". Personally I didn't freak out as much as the rest of you all, but I'm glad you guys had fun. It was a gift to us after all, so I guess it's fine if we enjoyed it. Jokes aside though, let's get back to what movie 2 did, even though they may or may not have realised it at the time. As in: They made Stobotnik canon. What do you mean by canon, Smartie?????, you might ask. And I'll answer, cause it's simple: I mean canon, as in canon. Yes, that's right. Stobotnik has been canon for a while... or... at least 50% of it. Let's get back to the Latte, shall we? Back then I thought they were making fun of us. Queerbaiting at it's finest. And then the movie happend and Stone confessed his love right then and there for the world to see, basically drawing fanart into Robotnik's caffe for who knows how long and Robotnik? That stupid -3000 IQ genius knew. He fucking knew!! Has always known and was either unwilling to read between the lines or mistook the affection for simple loyalty. Not-Spoiler: It's the later by the way, because we have that deleted scene. That beautiful deleted scene. But let's get back to the art for a second. Because I was basically dying in my seat. And I didn't think people were talking about it enough, cause it was the proof, not that stupid maid outfit that was simply put in as a joke that audiences were supposed to laugh at. But this. This! The whole scene were Stone was lovesick and heartbroken, drawing art of his lost non-lover, the way the life returned to his eyes the second said man returned, on top of literally all of him for the rest of the movie prooved one thing to me: Agent Stone was in love with Dr. Robotnik. It's clear he's never said so out loud, and for a good reason, but he didn't have to. It was so obvious anyone with an IQ lower than 299 could have seen. Just a shame that that one 300 IQ guy couldn't. So now, deleted scene time. Woopwoop. :P Recall how they had planned to make Stone even more in love and heart-eyed - JESUS CHRIST MY GUY - but went for an alternative scene instead? In case you aren't familiar with the scene, it's basically Stone telling Robotnik how he's followed his guide-lines, making the Stone Comic Canon, how he's made sure noone touched his babies, how he's known he'd return, how he's waited for him all this time cause he knew KNEW he'd come back and for a second there Robotnik doesn't know what to say. He looks that man in the eyes and for a split second he wonders, questions, and then... then he's scared. Scared of what that could mean. Scared that he could actually mean something to someone and he panics and decides to use violence to laugh it off, to refelect, to pretend that in that moment, he didn't actually feel something. That Stone didn't make him feel ... vulnerable. Because at that point, he cares too. He's not ready to admit it, at least not without having to joke about it. But he does. He does!! And the thought of it being mutual scares him. Probably more than anything ever has. Because if he allows this, this feeling to settle and bloom, he's got to admit that this, whatever it is, has the power to destroy and hurt him. And he can't do that. Maybe not again. Maybe not ever. Not now. Not now that he's what... 40? and has found peace with the fact that he'll die alone.

I know they were leaning into Stobotnik a lot, but they also... kind of didn't, following the natural consequences of the stuff they had set up in the prior movie, allowing Robotnik to go through an actual character arc. It's subtle, and he's still and asshole - always wil be - but that doesn't change the fact that his arc still exists and is actually very well done. Stone doesn't really have that obvious of an arc. Because it's not really much of an arc, we're just learning more about him, fleshing out his character. The only thing we know for certain is, that he adores and loves Robotnik and that he's willing to betray everyone and everything for him. Even if Robotnik never loves him back. He's accepted that, as long as he's alowed a place at his side.

And now, my fellow shippers, movie 3. Or rather, pre-movie 3. And the much discussed question: Are we getting queerbaited? Well, that depends how you define queerbaiting, doesn't it? Is it queerbaiting if it's unrequited love? Cause that's our current standpoint. Stone has found his doctor, nursed him back to health, lived with him, been by his side for months (years) and the only thing that is standing in their way now is: Robotnik's feelings. They have great build-up, put this man on a path, shown us how he's grown and now all that's left is to see, how they'll decide to finish his story. If I look at all that's happend up to this point, from a writing/writer stand-point, I'd say, that it would make sense for Robotnik to admit, that he cares. Cause that has been his arc, his journey. To admit that yes: He doesn't care about humanity, but he does care about Stone. Has for a very long while in fact. Be that platonic, or romantic. Doing literally anything else would not make sense at that point and would actually be an insult to their own work. And their writing has been pretty solid, so I'm confident we will get something. Especially since... I HAVE seen the leaks. Now, storyboards are just that. Something from early development, something that could change. Which is why I'd normally ignore them.... iiiiiiiif it weren't for that one line from the trailer. That one. fucking. line. That made me realise: Holy shit, those mad lads are doing it. They are finishing Robotnik's arc. That's when I understood why Team 1 was loosing their marbels. Because,

SPOILER!!!!! he is going to admi it. He is going to admit it to himself, and he's gonna do something so wild and crazy it scares me more than you understand. The only question is. Will he surive to tell the tale? And if he does, will he be brave enough to share that admission with Stone?

END OF SPOILER

I don't have links to the storyboard. In retrospect, I should have saved them. But what's done is done. Not that I cod delete the knowledge of what I've seen even if I tried. People seem hesitant to tell people all they have seen, cause those of us who have, and know the Sonic 2 story seem to have a good understanding of what and when that spoiler is taking place. And especially what outcome it seems to be leading into. But, if anyone asks, I am willing to share what it was I saw. If you really wanna know. If you are truly sure.

That being said. How do I feel about Stobotnik? I don't think we're getting a kiss. But I think (and hope) we're gonna get a moment. A moment of Robotnik being open, of him sharing that Stone means somethig to him. They even have the potential to include a joke here, of Stone perhaps attempting to hug Robotnik, for him to allow it for 3 seconds or so, only for him to punch Stone and say something along the lines of: "Okay, that's enough." You know, something close to the High Five moment, just THIS TIME they actually do the high five (or hug). You can have the feels and the joke. It's still Robotnik after all. It's what I'm hoping for, actually, cause I don't think Robotnik is ready for THAT admission quite yet. A hug though? That I could see.

I know we still have to fight against being exploited and played with, but that being said, I don't think love confessions have to always be that huge thing, that clashing of tongues and body parts. They can also be soft and quite. A moment of vulnerability and trust. Of openness. In fact, if Robotnik were to allow Stone a hug, it would be even more impactful than a kiss could ever be. He's hugging Gerald in the trailer, so they have shown me that they are not afraid to make this man hug.

It gives me hope. And it - and the leaks - are the reason why I'm Team 1. I think we could actually get canon Stobotnik you all. And I'm so hyped you don't understand. Let's see what Stobotnik marketing they are going to feed us over the next few months. I, for one, am looking forward to it. ^-^

Live long and prosper 🥚🖤🪨

#stobotnik #dr robotnik #agent stone #agent stone x robotnik #sonic movie #sonic movie 3 #sonic movie 3 trailer #queerbaiting #ivo robotnik #doctor robotnik

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oskea93 · 7 months ago

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✶ Whiskey (2) ✶ - John “Bucky” Egan x OC - Masters of the Air fandom - Multi-chaptered story.

⚠ Warning: Rating 18+ ⚠ Chapter warning: Sexual content, period sexism, spousal belittling, cursing Words: 4353 A/N: Hello again! First off, I just want to say thank you so much for the love and support y'all have shown this story!! You guys are amazing and you have no idea how much I appreciate you guys! So, with this chapter, we get to meet Dominik and Marigold - the husband and MIL. These two will have major impacts on our OC's life and at times their treatment towards her will not be very nice. We also get to meet the most important person in our OCs life... The bright side, we will see our OC spending time with a certain Major 🥵. This story is just getting started and I promise that Mr. Egan and all the fabulous men of the 100th will come to light in the upcoming chapter. It's gonna be a wild one! If you would like to be added to the tag list, just comment your username ☺︎

“I don’t see why you need to accompany your husband to such a location – full of men waiting for their chance to die.”

Rolling my eyes, I kept my mouth shut as my mother-in-law moved around the room. She had volunteered herself to accompany Dom and I to England – stating that she needed to be here for the sake of her granddaughter.

“What’re you expected to do while he’s working? Just longue around and make eyes with all the soldiers – give them blue balls so they can go back to their barracks and dream about you?”

A smile tugged at my face, “Somebody has to get them a little excited, Marigold.”

Her brows knitting together – unsure if I was being serious of not. “That’s what those pin-up women are for – you’re a married woman, Rachel. Married to one of the top colonels in the army – you don’t need to be strutting around like some old whore.”

Sighing, I pushed myself off the chair, her eyes watching me like the hawk she is. “Are you faithful to my son?” The question causing me to stop in my tracks. “You wouldn’t think about stepping out on him, would you?”

Her dark eyes bore into my soul, their intensity like a piercing gaze from the depths of the night. With each passing moment, I felt a shiver run down my spine, as if her gaze held the power to unravel the very core of my being. In that fleeting instant, the world around me seemed to fade away, leaving only her eyes, dark and mysterious, capturing my every thought and emotion in their enigmatic depths. “No –“My tone defensive. “Why ever would you think that?”

Feeling a mixture of frustration and resignation, she shrugged her shoulders, the weight of the moment causing her lips to press tightly together in a display of silent resolve.

“What gives you the idea that I would be unfaithful to Dominik? Because of what I said – that was a joke – they’re very popular nowadays.” Her back straightening at my bitter return.

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my composure despite Mari's biting words. Our relationship had always been strained, but her sharp remarks never failed to sting.

"I understand your concern, Mari," I replied evenly, meeting her gaze. "But I'm not going to England to flirt with soldiers. I'll be there to support Dom and assist in any way I can. It's important for us to be together during his assignment."

Mari huffed, clearly not convinced. "Just be careful, Rachel. Men in uniform can be quite charming, but they're not to be trusted. Don't forget your responsibilities as a wife and a mother."

Her words echoed in my mind, stirring up a mix of frustration and resignation. I knew Mari meant well in her own way, but her traditional views often clashed with my more independent spirit.

"Again, I appreciate your concern, Mari," I said, choosing my words carefully. "I'll always prioritize my family above all else. You can trust me on that."

In that fleeting moment of our interaction, as her captivating eyes locked onto mine, a subtle yet unmistakable expression of doubt crept into her gaze. "I hope so, Rachel. You have a good husband and a beautiful daughter. Don't take that for granted."

In the intricate web of relationships that intertwined our lives, tensions simmered just below the surface, threatening to erupt at any moment. Marigold's disapproval of me seemed to stem from a place of deep-seated insecurity and a need to control the narrative surrounding her son's marriage.

From the very beginning of Dom and I’s relationship, Marigold had made it clear that she held certain expectations for the woman who would become her daughter-in-law. My lack of pedigree, my fiery red hair, and perceived lack of refinement were all points of contention for Marigold. In her eyes, I was an outsider, unworthy of her son's prestigious lineage.

The constant barrage of criticism and belittling remarks from Marigold had taken its toll on me, chipping away at my confidence and sense of self-worth. Despite my best efforts to prove her loyalty and devotion to Dominik, I found herself caught in a never-ending cycle of scrutiny and judgment.

As Marigold insinuated doubts about my fidelity and questioned my motives, I felt a surge of indignation rise within myself. The implication that I would betray Dominik, the man I loved, cut deep, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Yet, I understood that Marigold's insecurities and fears were driving her behavior, fueling her need to assert control over the situation.

The dynamics between myself and Marigold were fraught with unspoken tensions and power struggles, each woman vying for dominance in their own way. My defiance in the face of Marigold's criticisms and barbs hinted at an underlying strength and resilience that belied my outward appearance.

She lightly cleared her throat, the sound echoing in the opulent room. "Darling," she began, her voice smooth but with an underlying tension. A faint, almost imperceptible smile played on her lips, not quite reaching her eyes. "I know you would never hurt my son in such a fashion."

With deliberate grace, she slowly rose from her seat, her elegant movements betraying the subtle power she held. Her hand smoothed down the expensive fabric of her dress, erasing any hint of imperfection. "You're a very beautiful girl - woman," she remarked, her words laced with a mixture of compliment and observation.

Turning to face me fully, she continued, her gaze piercing yet enigmatic. "Those men at Thorpe Abbots haven't seen or been around a real woman in who knows how long - only the women that are working or the local townies." Her voice trailed off momentarily, her hands coming to rest gently on my arms. "It's going to be hard for them to resist you."

I regarded her with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension as she pivoted back towards the chair, as if the weight of her words had dissipated as quickly as they had been spoken. I felt the urge to respond rising within me, but something in her demeanor made me hesitate, my words left unspoken.

As she settled back into her seat, a subtle yet unmistakable smugness crept into her expression, adding a layer of complexity to her otherwise composed facade. Her eyes met mine once more, a silent challenge lingering in their depths.

"Better get packing, darling," she remarked casually, the nonchalance in her tone belying the undercurrent of tension that hung in the air…

We lay in silence, the distant sounds of the bustling streets below providing a gentle background melody that filled the room. His touch, feather-light against the curve of my ribcage, sent a shiver of electricity racing through my body.

"Someone walking over your grave?" he remarked, a playful glint in his eyes as he traced patterns on my skin with his fingertips.

Resting my chin on his chest, our gazes locked in a shared moment of intimacy. "Excuse me?" I replied, a hint of curiosity in my voice.

He chuckled softly, the sound like music in the quiet room, as he brushed a stray strand of hair away from my face. "My pops used to say that when you get a cold chill, it means someone is walking on your grave." His words carried a touch of nostalgia and folklore.

Raising my eyebrows in amusement, I shook my head. "Can't say I've heard that one before."

As my left hand trailed down his chest, I noticed the cross necklace he wore, a simple yet meaningful charm that he kept close for protection. Taking the pendant between my thumb and index finger, I studied it briefly before placing it gently in the center of his chest, my fingers lingering over the cool metal.

"My mom gave it to me before I left," he explained, his voice tinged with emotion. "I'm not really a believer, but you need something to protect you out there."

Moved by his vulnerability, I began to share a piece of my own family history. "My grandmother was a God-fearing woman," I started, the memories of her devout faith flooding back. "She would attend church on Sundays and Wednesdays, unwavering in her devotion even in the face of adversity." A pang of sorrow touched my heart as tears threatened to well up in my eyes. "But when my Grandad fell ill, her faith wavered. She prayed for miracles as he lay dying, his lungs ravaged by years spent in the mines."

The weight of past grief hung heavy in the air between us, the shared stories weaving a bond of understanding and empathy that transcended words.

John's arm tightened around my waist; his unwavering attention focused on every word I spoke.

"After he passed away, she changed," I continued, a wistful smile playing on my lips as I reminisced. "She stopped praying, stopped going to church as often, stopped believing. My grandad was her entire world, her reason for everything. She used to tell my brother and me that God had led Grandad into her life." The warmth of nostalgia colored my voice as I shared the cherished memories.

"She would say that she prayed for God to send her a hard-working farm boy - one with dark hair and skilled hands." John's chest rumbled with laughter; his amusement palpable in the air between us. "And one day, it was as if he appeared out of the heavens, right at Sampson's Feed store across the street from her daddy's farm."

As I slowly rose from the bed, the sheet draped around my waist, I pulled my legs up to my chest, lost in the recollection. "She loved that man more than anything - perhaps even more than she loved God, I think."

The bed shifted as John pressed his chest against my back, his warm breath sending a shiver down my spine.

"Have you ever felt that kind of love?" His whisper tickled my ear, his words laden with a depth of emotion.

Turning my head, our lips met in a soft, tender kiss, an unspoken connection weaving between us in the quiet intimacy of the moment.

"Does right now count?" I murmured between kisses, the warmth of our closeness enveloping us.

A smile played on John's lips as he pulled back slightly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Well," he teased, gently guiding me into a lying position on the mattress, "you were certainly calling for him earlier."

We both laughed, the shared moment of levity breaking through any lingering tension. I wrapped my arms around his neck, our gazes meeting with a mix of affection and sincerity.

"You're so beautiful," He whispered, his words carrying a depth of feeling that stirred my heart.

My fingers tangled in his brown locks, finding their place at the nape of his neck. "As are you, John Egan." I replied, the unspoken bond between us growing stronger with each passing moment.

His lips met mine in a gentle manner, each light peck carrying a world of unspoken emotions, his hand tenderly caressing my cheek with a touch that spoke volumes. We lingered in that moment of quiet intimacy, the outside world fading into insignificance as we shared a silent connection that transcended words.

After a moment, he lifted himself up from the bed, leaving the sheet behind as he made his way to the curtained window. I watched as his back muscles moved beneath his skin, a silent display of tension and contemplation as he gazed out at the streets below. The sun had hidden behind the thickening clouds, casting the room into a dim twilight as the impending rain approached.

Quietly, I crawled out of the bed, the sheet slipping off my body as I closed the distance between us.

Instinctively, my arms wrapped around his mid-section, offering a comforting embrace. "Are you okay?" I whispered, pressing my lips against his back, seeking to convey my support through the simple contact of our bodies.

He let out a deep sigh, his body relaxing into my touch as his hands found their place atop mine. "You ever wonder if all of this is really worth it?" His voice held a weight of solemn reflection as he voiced the doubts that lingered in his mind. "All this killing and bombing - innocent lives lost every day, many of them unaware until it's too late." The heaviness of his words echoed the burdens he carried, the moral complexities of his actions weighing heavily on his conscience.

Listening to his inner turmoil, I felt a surge of empathy and understanding for the struggles he faced. "You can't beat yourself up about that, John," I spoke softly, offering reassurance in the face of his inner turmoil. "The choices you've made, the actions you've taken - they may be part of a larger conflict, but you have to remember the good you're fighting for, the lives you're trying to protect."

John and I barely knew one another, but even in the brief moments we shared, it was evident that the weight of war was bearing down heavily on him. His eyes, once bright with youthful vigor, now held a weariness that seemed to go beyond mere physical exhaustion. It was a weariness of the soul, a deep-seated fatigue born from the harrowing experiences he had endured on the battlefield.

"My pal Buck says the same thing," He remarked, a faint smile edging on his face as memories of their conversations flooded back. "He always told me to just worry about getting back home to Wisconsin – making sure our country and those helping us fight those German pricks win the battle – big or small."

As the rain began to drum against the windowpanes, a sense of shared vulnerability enveloped us, binding us together in a moment of shared empathy and support amidst the storm of uncertainty and doubt.

His hands fell from mine as he turned towards me, his eyes falling on my naked frame. The slightest hint of sadness could be seen in his irises. Without hesitation, I closed the gap between us, his callused hands reaching my thighs, bending down slightly as he hoisted me onto his hips. Our lips never separating, a muffled moan purred through my body as my back hit the wall next to the window. The cooling fall air that drifted in from the draft window was no match for the heat that coursed through my body as John’s touch lit a fire in and outside my body.

As our embrace deepened, the weight of the war seemed to momentarily fade away, replaced by a sense of raw connection and passion. In that fleeting moment, there was only the two of us, lost in a dance of desire and longing.

The world outside may have been engulfed in chaos and uncertainty, but within the walls of that room, time seemed to stand still. Each touch, each kiss, spoke volumes of unspoken emotions and desires. It was a moment of respite, a brief escape from the harsh realities of the outside world.

With the leverage from the wall, his hand made quick work as it moved between our bodies, his large fingers finding my clit, my hips responding as they moved against his touch.

“John, please.” My mouth latching onto his neck, an animalistic growl releasing from his body.

His paced quickened, “Tell me what you want.” His breath hot against my ear. “Tell me you want me to fuck you.”

My teeth biting down harder on his neck as my walls began to clench around his touch. “Goddammit, Rachel –“His words full of lust. “Tell me what you fucking want.”

The pleasure causing tears to form in my eyes, “Fuck me, John.” Out of breath. “Please just fuck me, please!” Without warning, his cock slammed into me. His lips harshly meeting mine, stifling the gasp that fell between our kiss.

The pace was fast – hard as our hips slapped against one another. His fingers digging into my sides as my nails dragged down his back, hard enough to pull away the first layer of skin.

“Harder.” I begged. “Oh God, please go harder!”

I cried out in pain as my back repeatedly hit the wall behind me – his cock swelling inside of me as we started to reach our climax.

The warm sensation soon flooded my core, the liquid rolling down my leg as his cock stayed buried inside of me. His lips peppering kisses along my collarbone as my fingers floated through his hair as we both regained our breath.

“I don’t think I’m gonna be able to make it back to the base.”

“And why’s that?” His hips slowly moving again.

“Because-“The friction between our hips causing us both to groan. “You’re gonna be the fucking death of me.”

As the soft glow of the vanity lights illuminated the room, casting a warm ambiance over the space, Dominik's footsteps echoed against the wooden floors, the sound a rhythmic accompaniment to the weight of the impending departure. His words lingered in the air, carrying with them a mixture of anticipation and melancholy.

"I spoke with Colonel Huglin over the phone today," His voice tinged with a hint of tension that belied the calm facade he tried to maintain. "It seems like everything is ready for our arrival in the morning."

I turned to face him, meeting his gaze in the reflection of the mirror. His hair, usually meticulously styled, now bore the tousled look of a man consumed by nerves and the weight of responsibility.

"My mother is going to take Charlotte back to the States once we get on the plane," Dominik continued, his words hanging between us with unspoken emotions. "I told her to stay here for a while, but she's insistent on getting out of England."

I couldn't help but inwardly roll my eyes at Marigold's insistence on whisking Charlotte away to New York. The prospect of being separated from my daughter for an unknown stretch of time tugged at my heart, the idea of her absence leaving an ache in its wake. While Dominik and Marigold argued that the military base was no place for a young girl, I couldn't shake the feeling that there were other children in the town who could keep her company.

“What time do we leave?” I asked, my voice tinged with concern.

Dominik checked his watch, furrowing his brow. “Huglin mentioned the plane will be ready at nine sharp. We need to be at the airfield no later than 8:30.”

I bit my lip, a pang of sadness washing over me. “Charlotte will still be sleeping when we leave. I can’t bear not saying goodbye to her. We don’t know how long we’ll be a part. Your mother isn’t gonna let me wake her that early.”

“Maybe it’s best we leave without saying goodbye.” Dominik suggested, his tone matter of fact.

I stood up from the vanity, feeling a surge of frustration. “You can’t be serious, Dom?”

He shrugged, his expression impassive. “You know how my mother is. She doesn’t want Charlotte upset. She’ll have to deal with a crying child when we leave.”

Dominik’s dismissal of my feelings stung. “I’ll have Mother call the base when they land in New York and you can talk to Charlotte then,” he continued, his hands moving down my arms.

Tensions crackled in the air as he towered over me. His words, though well-intentioned, felt like a cage closing in around me. “I know it’s hard to be away from the baby, but I need you with me. You’re my rock, sweetheart,” he murmured, planting a gentle kiss on my neck. “I can’t go anywhere without my special little rock.”

I felt a mix of emotions swirling inside of me – love, frustration, and a hint of resignation. Dominik’s ability to use intimacy to end arguments was both comforting and manipulative. I knew that arguing further would only lead to more tension. So, with a heavy heart, I relented, letting the moment of peace wash over us…

As I stood by Charlotte's bedside, the soft glow of the nightlight casting a warm aura over the room, memories flooded her mind. Remembering the first time I held Charlotte in her arms, the overwhelming rush of love and protectiveness that consumed my heart. It was a feeling unlike any other, a bond that transcended words and explanations.

Gently brushing a stray strand of hair away from Charlotte's face, I whispered, "Sweetheart, it's time for me to go now. But remember, mommy loves you more than anything in this world." My voice cracked with emotion as I fought back tears, hand trembling slightly as I traced the curve of her cheek.

She stirred slightly, her eyelids fluttering open to reveal sleepy, drowsy eyes. "Mama?" she murmured, her voice soft and filled with innocence.

My heart ached at the sight of my precious daughter looking up at me, so small and vulnerable in the dim light. "Hi, baby girl," my voice barely above a whisper. "I just wanted to say goodbye before I go."

She reached out a tiny hand, her fingers seeking the comfort of her mother's touch. "Don't go, Mama," she said, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness.

Tears welled up in my eyes, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on Charlotte's forehead. "I have to go, darling, but I'll be back before you know it. Grandmother will take good care of you while I'm away, okay?" I reassured her, my voice filled with love and tenderness.

With a heavy heart, I tucked the covers snugly around Charlotte, tucking her in with care. Lingering for a moment, savoring the quiet peace of the room before I reluctantly turned to leave.

As I stepped out into the hallway, a familiar voice made me jump in surprise. "A little early for tears, Rachel," Mari's voice floated towards her, her figure blending into the shadows of the room.

Startled, I clutched my chest, heart racing from the unexpected encounter. "Marigold, you nearly gave me a heart attack," I gasped, trying to steady my breathing.

Mari's gaze flickered towards Charlotte's room, her expression unreadable. "Dominik told you not to wake her," she reminded in a low tone. "You know how she gets when you leave her. It wasn't a wise choice, Rachel."

Feeling a pang of guilt, I nodded silently, realizing the impact of my actions. With a heavy sigh, I prepared myself for the difficult task ahead, knowing that leaving Charlotte behind was a sacrifice I had to make for now.

I watched as she retreated into Charlotte's room, glaring daggers as she closed the door behind her, the tension between us palpable in the air. I stood there for a moment, the silence of the house buzzing in my ears like a persistent drone, a stark contrast to the storm of emotions swirling within me. With a heavy exhale, I gathered my resolve and took a deep breath, steeling myself for what lay ahead. The faint sound of a car engine humming in the distance pulled me back to the present, prompting me to make my way towards the awaiting vehicle, each step feeling heavier than the last as I left the turbulent scene behind me.

The weather once again mimicked the mood, a common occurrence for England, with dark clouds looming overhead and a chilly wind cutting through the air. Despite the dreariness of the day, there was a certain familiarity in the gray skies and mist that enveloped the surroundings, as if nature itself was reflecting the emotional turmoil within.

My eyes met the driver's, a silent exchange of gratitude passing between us as he held the car door open, a small gesture that spoke volumes amidst the unspoken tension that lingered in the air. Dominik's body stiff beside me, his presence a palpable force in the confined space of the car.

"I told you to leave her alone, Rachel. I told you not to wake her, and of course, you never listen." Dominik's voice was low, the words carrying a weight of frustration and disappointment.

He stared out the window, his gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside, the rigid set of his jaw betraying his inner turmoil.

"After your little emotional moment," Dominik's voice cut through the tense silence in the car, his words laced with a hint of frustration. He paused; the weight of his gaze heavy as he turned to look at me briefly before returning his attention to the road ahead. "You better hope we're not late getting to the airfield."

His words stung, a stark reminder of the consequences of my actions and the impact they had on our plans. Guilt gnawed at me, knowing that my emotional outburst had potentially jeopardized Dominik's mission and the success of the operation ahead. The weight of his disapproval bore down on me, adding to the already heavy atmosphere in the car.

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat making it difficult to form a coherent response. The reality of the situation sank in, the urgency of our mission overshadowing any personal grievances or misunderstandings between us. With a deep breath, I nodded silently, understanding the gravity of the situation and the need to focus on the task at hand.

As the car started to move away, my thoughts were consumed by Charlotte. I had envisioned our trip to Thorpe Abbots with Dominik as a special event, a chance for us to bond and create lasting memories together. Dominik, poised to become the 2nd colonel in command, was about to embark on a crucial mission to take down the German forces, and I had hoped to support him in this pivotal moment of his career.

However, as the weight of our unspoken tensions and misunderstandings hung heavy in the air, I couldn't shake the feeling of missed opportunities and shattered expectations. What was meant to be a moment of triumph and unity now seemed clouded by discord and distance.

#john egan x oc #john bucky egan #john egan x reader #john egan smut #john egan #john egan fanfiction #john egan masters of the air #callum turner major john bucky egan #callum turner x reader #callum turner smut #callum turner imagine #callum turner #masters of the air imagine #masters of the air fanfiction #masters of the air #1940s #major john egan

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mejcinta · 1 year ago

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So, I saw people asking why the official HOTD account rarely, if ever, post Aegon, and the answer...in this climate we're in socially compared to, say, 2011, is just so obvious here.

Aegon has become a byword in the hotd fandom because of how the writers smeared him with the r@pist story arc. Remember, the book has conflicting accounts that cannot be trusted. However, a point was made to make most of Mushroom's wild accounts true for Aegon in the show, whilst other characters are less smeared if not completely sanitised 🤷🏾‍♀️

What's even worse is nowadays everyone seems to be playing this morality game in a franchise where morality is near negligent. I've seen Joffery stans, Ramsay, Tywin and Theon stans. People LOVE these characters but if GOT dropped today, they wouldn't be posted on big accounts either for fear of 'promoting bad behaviour' and everyone who found these characters compelling would be labelled 'apologists' of evil...which is what is happening to people that like Aegon's character (and not his evil acts).

Meanwhile, Daemon is framed as a badass and some legitimately see him as a flawless angel LMAO (which he clearly isn't but still is adored nonetheless).

How I wish the writers tried just a little to hide their biases. Aegon did not deserve such character assassination, especially given how important he is to the story as the second claimant to the Iron Throne. You'd expect to at least be able to understand his struggles or empathize with him just as much as we do with Rhaenyra.

#hotd #hotd critical #house of the dragon #house of the dragon season 2 #aegon ii #aegon ii targaryen #theon greyjoy #ramsay bolton #tywin lannister #joffery baratheon #daemon targaryen #helaegonceo #tagged

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vitamango · 5 months ago

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Oh! Hello there! Here's something different! A rare text post! I realize I interact very rarely here (and tbh interact very rarely on social media at all, in recent years) but I'm trying to figure out a nicer balance than just dead radio silence.

I guess, hi hello. I'm King -- I'm a nonbinary artist. I draw. I love video games and cute things. And I am trying to beat my anxiety over using social media back with a stick. I dunno how many of my followers are still active here, but regardless of whether you have found me recently or stuck with me for years, you guys really mean a lot to me. It's a really quiet little corner of the internet, but it's mine, and I find comfort in knowing that there's someone out there who was kind enough to take a moment out of their life to see my work.

I want to challenge myself to start posting a little more so I'm slowly posting some of my old art backlog, but maybe also just chattering mindlessly and finding comfort in blogging again.

Man, it's really been a while since I last posted a text post, huh. To be honest, somewhere in the last 2-5 years, I've developed some kind of crippling fear of being perceived and just kind of drop my art on social media like a cat dropping a dead mouse on someone's pillow for praise and just disappear back into the ether. I miss it, though! I miss interaction even if I'm not a particularly chatty person in blog form but, hell, it's a blog and it's silly to be worried about blogging... on a blog.

So here I am. I think part of the anxiety has stemmed from trying to slowly make the switch to twitter and there being so many unspoken rules of engagement on twitter that at some point it all just got all twisted up into a big ball of "well idk how to interact so I guess I won't!" and somehow that just kind of extended to pretty much every social media thing I have. It's kind of wild how hostile social media feels nowadays -- is it just me? I know I have a lot of anxiety but I hope someone out there relates!

Tumblr is a strange blogging platform, isn't it? It makes interacting with people kind of hoop-jumpy and difficult, and yet it still feels a lot more approachable than something like twitter in my opinion (my beloathed).

I've been considering making the jump to Cara seeing so many other artists do the same (and I have made an account), but to be honest, the idea of maintaining yet another social media account fills me with so much bone-deep exhaustion.

I've been really struggling with artblock recently and finding it difficult to find enjoyment in the hobby that I loved so much and has been so formative to me. It feels strangely alienating finding myself incapable of producing artwork the way I used to, but it's been a slow work in progress. Reviving my social media accounts is a step in some direction, honestly! Or at least, I'm hoping it will be.

Tangentially related, I don't draw a lot of fanart -- not because I'm not a fan of things but more because if I spend the energy on drawing, I often want to spend it on original creations (as the #1 and singular fan in that fandom LOL), but I always feel like I should do it more often -- mostly because it's such a delight to see other fans trickle in out of the woodwork. I think this every time in the rare occasions I do post fanwork, haha!

Anyways, I'm not actually expecting anyone to read this but if you did, hello! I hope you, specifically, (yes, you!!!) have the bestest of days! ;)

469th post on this blog, too. Nice.

#mangotalk

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icharchivist · 2 years ago

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was having banri thoughts lately just bc like. why not right. and then i suddenly remember u mentioning that some ppl... did not like banri at the start? which is wild to me bc in my mind ive always been ride or die for him. like i love juza so much but i feel like. that doesnt rly oppose liking banris character as well? banri is such fun character drama at the beginning of autumn and then his and itarus dynamic is fun from the start... gosh and the acting in the final bits of the autumn troupe between him and juza! suchhh fun tension. like. idk. it just started making me think like wow. digging thru a3 on my own with mostly the influence of like, just you has probably skewed my opinion of what the common perception of a3 is like. for example in my head winter is the most popular troupe which... it maybe isnt? i feel like recently i saw u mention summer might be the most popular(? this couldve been a dream) and i didnt realize itaru was super popular until like. last month. i mean if i had to pick a character i thought was the most popular i'd pick. misumi.

LKFJDLKFJD god what an ask

yeah i doubt i'm exactly the "common a3 experience" but to be perfectly honest i haven’t really kept tabs on the fandom per se since hh mid-2020 when i started to dig into some tags and saw so much negativity i was just :/ and stopped doing so (the curse to liking rascals </3).

Nowadays my knowledge of the a3 fandom is mostly the people interreacting with me, which already generally means that they vibe with what i post, so it gives me a skewed vision of the fandom like, are we all like that? or are the loud voices that made me go avoid the tag still here yaknow?

More stuff under cut

For Banri, i'll admit i wasn't too hot about him when i started the game, which now i regret so bad because he's my precious little meow meow hands down. He has such a good arc!!!! I know in my case i just had a hard time because i cared for Juza right away and i was still so high on Summer's development i kept comparing Banri to Tenma and going "here's why Tenma is amazing and Banri is cringefail". But it lasted me until a bit before Banri sees the portraits, when he starts to be conflicted, after that i was all, oh wait i like that guy. And then the more content i saw of him the more i loved him and he became my fav Autumn Chara. (so if you want to ramble about him more you’re free to do so because i’m team i adore this guy. please do. you’re so right in what you say of him.)

But so i did expect people to have my experience - hard time in the beginning, then mellowing on him before the end of the Autumn Chapter. And it wasn't the case 😭😭😭😭 At least at the time, the Banri's takes were rancid. Like it was genuinely annoying at a point, you couldn't go anywhere without some Banri bashing fuckery, even after his initial arc, people just. really hated him. My most hated takes were that i saw so many people say Banri would bully Yuki or stuff implying they would have an antagonistic relationship and it's probably why i cling to Into the Night so much, like HELL you're going to twist one of my fav crosstroupe dynamic!!! I legit saw so many things reducing Banri to a menace and a bully, and if not that, talking about how much everyone in the dorm hated him, and it was really driving me insane then.

I remember once making a post about how i was so close to blacklist "Banri" because people didn't filter this bashing with tags so i was just ready to just, not see Banri anymore, but it was breaking my heart. But somehow after this post i got a few people coming back at me about how it annoyed them too and i saw some of those people make their own posts in a more. direct way. and after that i never saw Banri bashing again. My power (< absolutely not, coincidence at best i'm sure).

A lot of Banri bashing i saw back then were from "newcomers" in the sense that it was after the anime aired, and a lot of people were just coming in without knowing about the events. imo i think the events do help giving a better feel to Banri in general so the fact people were fresh from the anime might have skewed things. I remember a friend who was in that case, newcomer and all, only read the main story, didn't like Banri after reading the main story. Then, Main story act 2 came out and while they didn't read the events, they read the main story and they started liking Banri there (because he did develop so much since then)

And as a whole i'd say, by act 2 it must have died out a bit.

There's another chara who gets bashed a lot but. Act 2 stuff 😔. Unfortunately a chara i like a lot so this was my breaking point of "i'm not checking the tags anymore none of you know how to behave". I think it mellowed since then? and i know the chara is popular in the JPN fandom meanwhile.

else i've seen like, Tasuku having very little content from fans and a few people being mean to him when they talked about him, but it was a long time ago and i sure hope it died out. I don't think i'd say he's bashed, more that most folks don't have strong feelings about him and stopped just with a bitter taste over his anger toward Tsumugi in the first winter chap.

Now. About popularity, Winter is DEF NOT the most popular troupe. Pretty sure it plays between Autumn and Summer in term of popularity. That said it's not like any of the troupes are unpopular so any ramblings about each Troupe would be meet with pleased reactions from the fandom, so it is harder to gauge that but yeah.

Troupewise something i noticed is that i think Summer is the most popular in term of GROUP, while Autumn is the most popular in term of Individuals. So a lot of people liked Summer specifically for their dynamic and how each of those charas played out each other more than individually liking each of them, while for Autumn it was, they liked all of them strongly! not specifically for their dynamic, though of course it plays a part, but as individuals. I mention it because i think it was the key difference in rank up in why i think Summer plays were okay to rank up to while Autumn were a nightmare. (that said that can also be "blamed" on "fans gravitate around characters that have elements they have as well" or something which means Autumn fans were more likely to be competitive and stubborn in a way Summer were more mellow.)

Itaru is definitely the most popular character of the whole game, period. It's not even a competition at this point it's so funny. when the EN server was live, anytime Itaru had a rank up card was a bloodbath (< survivor of Kniroun ranking up at 0.2%. Didn't sleep normally for the whole duration of the event it was so much.).

By the end of the server things were dying out a bit but still in general you could get a vague idea of popularity by how wild the rankings could be. For instance the fact Tasuku's ranking was a breeze without even trying was indicative of how he's not that popular.

In general i've noticed, at the time at least, that Winter ranks up were rather easy. I've ranked up for a few of Summer and i didn't see much of a problem otherwise*. Spring was really chill unless Itaru was in rank up. Autumn was THE Bloodbath. There were Autumn Stans organziation all over, the appp SYSTEMATICALLY broke EVERYTIME Autumn was around, it was always much more challenging, so yeah man.

Misumi* is probably the one i'd consider the second most popular character of the game, pretty much.

(*The funny thing is that Misumi got his lead play very early in the server's history, and i know i ranked up for him then and i didn't think it was too hard. In retrospect i'm sure it has more to do with the fact the game didn't have as many people playing it, than it had to do with popularity, so my word on Summer not being a problem is based on weird stats)

A while ago, for the Taiwanese server, there was a special set of cards in term of popularity on this server. Itaru got a SSR, Masumi got a SR, and Misumi got a R.

Masumi is in a weird position because i'd say he's fairly unpopular in the EN server, while he's popular in the JPN and Taiwanese server. Honestly i'm assuming he's especially popular with the teen audience.

AND THE MOST TELLING PART:

The first Cross-troupe's play was involving the most popular character of each troupe, by a poll being made by the JPN server. The leads were Itaru and Banri, then Misumi as a secondary character and Tsumugi as a more support character.

Meaning at the time, this was the order of the 4 most popular characters of the game.

When the mixed troupe event came to the English server, i remember a poll circulating on tumblr and likely twitter as well, trying to see if the EN Server had different favorites. Itaru still came on top, Misumi followed closely afterward. For Autumn, it was Juza and Taichi that were on the top of the Autumn poll, not Banri, and for Winter, i think it was still Tsumugi but Homare was very close behind.

So that was the popularity at least back then, god knows opinions now.

I've seen Homare be extremely popular on tumblr for sure. I have no doubt in Juza's popularity as well.

I saw a lot of Taichi fan going "Taichi is underappreciated" but i saw so many of them i was kinda just thinking "bro i'm pretty sure Taichi is in the popular character squad by now" But i'm also on the other hand as i've once seen a post saying Hisoka was popular and it stunned me a moment going ????? because as a huge Hisoka stan i don't see it???? There's a few devoted fans, and he has a better fanbase in JPN server, but in EN server??? (I'm comparing the last rank up for Hisoka VS the last rank up for Taichi in my mind and i genuinely don't see it for instance) so i also think it's likely i have a "fav blindspot" where i just don't think people are vibing with the charas the way i'm vibing, just. exactly like what i'm talking about with the Taichi stans so.... (that said i also once was tagged in a post that was going "i don't think i've ever seen a Hisoka or Tasuku stan" and a friend just went @ icha come here. Schrodinger Hisoka who's both popular and unpopular depending on who you're asking. And Tasuku IS MY UNDERRATED MEOW MEOW)

I think i recall Tenma being popular for a time, and Yuki is well appreciated by everyone around here. Kazunari has a loud fanbase but i'm pretty sure the seiyuu thing was a huge blow to them and a lot of them got more quiet at the time.

And for what it's worth i do think there's a sizeable portion of the fandom that really like Tsuzuru, but i think it's just, something you get to see a lot when a huge part of the fandom is creatives. And to be completely fair, Clockwork Heart is the one event i had a massive burn out at and didn't pay attention to the rankings at all, so i can't tell if people went really wild about it. And the next Tsuzuru rank up event was literally the last event of the EN server and i'm sure it's not indicative of anything since a lot of folks just didn't want to bother. So unlike the others were i'm using rank up as a gauge of popularity i can't tell how Tsuzuru's might influence his.

SO YEAH that's for what i could pick up BACK THEN, as i remind, i didn't really look deeply into the fandom itself. I'm really good in my corner so it might not actually be indicative of the fandom trends and i'm maybe completely off base.

Then about how, i, personally, don't represent the fandom, unless the fandom changed since then: When i first liveblogged a3, it was when the server was new and no one was on tumblr about it, so i was a little unfiltered from people's opinions. when i came back about a year later to comment on act 2, getting all worked up, and running then into the growing fanbase on this website, is when i started to run into fan takes and everything.

And, let's be clear, i came back because i was crying very hard over Hisoka and Azuma and the full Winter Troupe, and Chikage, so i really came here with my Big Winter Boots only talking about Winter and then Spring.

I ended up getting a feel of what people were talking about a lot at that time, and kinda ended up talking more about what i considered my Underrated Gems.

For instance, i absolutely adore Itaru. I ranked up for him, i've bleed for him, i love the dude. But he's so popular i figured i legit had nothing to say about him that a hundred people wouldn't have been able to say before. So i've mostly didn't really talk about him much despite loving him a LOT because i just didn't think i had anything to say. (now in my current reread i'm doing it so disconnected from what i know of the fandom that i indulged in talking more about how much i like him LMAO)

Meanwhile, there's characters i love that i know the fandom don't talk about much so i end up talking about them more, and it's the case of Tasuku. I wouldn't be surprised Tasuku is really low on most people's popular list. I'm just Not Most People and you're going to hear me ramble about that hunk of a man every few days or so.

I've made my niche in the Winter Troupe appreciation gang and i'm pretty sure by now a lot of other Winter people follow me as a result because i couldn't shut the fuck up, so then my perception of the fanbase gets skewed because i just think of Them ahah.

And there is the fact i adore the rookies, mainly Chikage and Guy, but don't talk about them so much mostly because they came out later in the main story and i've been rereading act 1 so many times instead,,, and didn't talk much about act 2 in case some people managed to save themselves from being spoiled (like you!!)

So my personal perception of a3 is probably not reflecting the whole a3 fanbase really much. God the amount of times i talked my friends's ears off about Winter, that they kinda just humored me without thinking much about it, until they found out one of the More Popular Chara (Itaru, Tenma and the whole Autumn Troupe mostly) and suddenly they're like *twirls hair* heeyy Icha tell us more about a3. It's genuinely so funny to me.

and again i don't know perhaps i'm full of shit, and it's not like i've kept tabs on the fandom recently either!

But that is at least a bit of what i remember in term of popularity and what i can say is that i shouldn't be taken as an example of the fanbase's views in general.

I'm vibing in my corner, and by experience, it usually meant i ended up talking about more niche things, but since i'm disconnected from the fandom i'm pretty sure i still have opinions that are popular opinions. So who knows! not me!

So yeah that's all i can say about the popularity of the a3 fandom. Def not an indication of it by me.

and it must be funny for you since you only really have me as your fandom gateaway because well. *waves at post* yeah.

The more you know!

#ichareply #ichafantalks a3 #aranarumei #post that got ways too long ways too stupidly

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crystalelemental · 10 months ago

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"books-are-my-life-stuff: The original Japanese release iirc also has the same release and eos date, so...yeah, not just the global release. It's a shame, Love Live! is I think among the most popular early gacha games back then. Everyone loved it, everyone I knew played it, but when they decided to close the first game while announcing the second that's when it's going downhill. I think you described it well.

Love Live was first released in 2013, I think it's even earlier than FGO, but it crumbled so fast and unfortunately couldn't compete with the market nowadays. Love Live as a franchise is still very big and successful even to this day, with multiple anime series and so many fans, a shame that the game devs didn't even try to fulfill that expectation."

I'm not really sure how they dropped the ball, is the thing. I was never too associated with Love Live, I kept up for a short time with a friend way back when but never touched the games or anything, but it seemed like one of those big, looming fandoms in the background that you know is everywhere. As far as rhythm games go, it was the big name. So it's kinda wild to hear how badly it's cratering now. I guess it's been around long enough it's not surprising to see it on the decline, but if I'm remembering the story about the gacha shifts right, the pivot to a new game and then the backdown to a carry-over sequel all happeend in like a year. Which is a really fast turnaround time to torpedo your entire series.

#books-are-my-life-stuff

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soulsilvers · 2 years ago

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Hey, as the only active Leaf blog on here and enjoyer that deviates from the norm, do you. Think it’s worth it for me to post Leaf fic and Shoot Canon In A Back-Alley? She’s one of the least pop fem characters, and all her fics are just “third wheel, mom friend” or copypaste Red. But I feel like that’s what fandom expects? The days of “wizard with skittles magic” or whatever wild stuff of fics is long over, people want fully authentic novels nowadays set in canon so idk :/

DOOOOO IIIIT!!

because ever noticed how for example ethan is also very much of a blank slate up for interpretation, yet fans can come up with a huge variety of personality traits and dynamics with other characters regardless for him? he can be cool, he can be silly and he can be cringy. and all of this is still seen as lovable. female protags on the other hand must way too often be sanitized into ~perfect sane queens~. pretty bs id say!

and the funniest thing is that no one can argue my leaf "goes against canon" either bc once you actually read some bits of her pokemas dialogue, a lot of it IS like my leaf, just that i then expand from it. her more oddball personality is from her lgpe appearance. if someone has a problem with me combining pokemas leaf and lgpe leaf then i just say im not the one who decided to make things confusing for everyone, so for now its this <3

also if anyone heres a mom friend its alola red and green that are the mom friends god bles.

#reply

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ingravinoveritas · 1 year ago

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GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS GOOD OMENS 2 IS IN 10 DAYS

Indeed it is, Anon! Heady and wild times are afoot, to be sure.

Yesterday and today have been particularly spirited days in the fandom, with so much new content coming our way--pictures from the show, news about advance screenings, and of course, the behind-the-scenes interviews with the cast (most especially Michael and David).

I think if I had to share the thing--or one of the things--that's delighted me most, it's these two extracts from two separate Collider interviews with Michael and David. First David's interview:

And then this one from Michael's interview:

It's the common thread/theme of joy that is so beautiful to me. We've heard David say that before, of course--four years ago, just in the same way that Michael said four years ago how much he enjoyed watching David as Crowley. But nowadays it seems like joy is in such short supply. Everyone is stressed out, tired, anxious. We see more hate and anger and violence on the news than happiness and positivity.

So given all of that, to know that Michael and David derive such joy from being together--acting in the show, and from their friendship/relationship--is just the most gorgeous thing. Michael in particular seems to have his heart right out on his sleeve, acknowledging how rare the chemistry and connection he has with David is--more importantly, how he knows it's rare and has clearly given a great deal of thought to it--and also wishing for their partnership (in all its forms) to keep going. It's the difference between the visible resignation of someone who knows a relationship has run its course and the quietly passionate plea of someone who has found more meaning in another relationship than he ever expected.

"Long may it continue" he says, and how it makes your heart ache to know how sincerely he means it. Especially now that we also have him saying this in an article from The Metro:

He really would, though, wouldn't he? Michael would keep working with David (on Good Omens or something else) for as long as he can. And that's what I'm most excited to see on screen in season 2: The understanding of what it means to want to grow old with one person more than anyone else on Earth (or in the heavens above). I truly am looking forward to it. Ten days and counting...

#anonymous #reply post #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #i'm feeling a lot of feelings #i don't know if i believe in fate but i believe in them #i have been nonstop busy the past few days #so apologies for taking so long to answer anons #trying to get through more now #ineffable lovers #discourse

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nimble-stuff · 2 years ago

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Attempted Rape || Donnie - Blue Raspberry, Part III “...I want you to live a long, long life with scars to remember me by.”

FANDOM: ROTTMNT Blue Raspberry, Part I Blue Raspberry, Part II Also on AO3

@badthingshappenbingo

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- Attempted S/A. All characters involved are teenagers. The event is not glamorized and is discussed and described as something reprehensible. It doesn’t go beyond the attempt. - A character who is a teenager briefly reflects on their sexuality and sexual experiences. The descriptions are vague. If any of this subject matter is upsetting to you, I urge you to please, please put yourself first and read responsibly. General Author’s Note: I'm sorry this took so long! I was extremely sick for a few weeks, and on top of it writing this was very, very difficult and emotionally taxing for me in a way I'm not sure I can properly articulate. I didn't want to shy away from the reality of peer-on-peer sexual violence between teenagers, but at the same time I tried to write in a way that's respectful to the subject matter. I'm scared that I didn't accomplish that in the end but know that I had to do a lot of staring in the mirror. I remember seeing a lot of things when I was a teenager that deeply bothered me so I had to go digging deep into those repressed memories! Man I really did go to a rough high school.

---

Donnie lost track of his brothers hours ago, but their absence wasn't a concern this time. He was hacking the sound system to play his preferred playlists. This sight would have been unthinkable before the Krang invasion, but nowadays, the world was all kinds of weird. It was a blended yōkai-human teen party in the Hidden City, and technically, the Hamato brothers were crashing it, along with most of the party-goers crowding the mansion. He didn’t know who the host was, only that when he and his brothers had heard about the event through the grapevine, they couldn't refuse.

“C’mon, we’ve never gone to a party before!” Leo begged Raph.

“Please, please, please, please, please, please, please?” Mikey grabbed Raph’s ankle and was dragged along the floor.

“I desire a night of debauchery!” Donnie shouted.

“We’ve had parties before,” said Raph.

“Yeah, with just family,” said Leo. “That’s boring. This is a teens-only event!”

“You know some moron is gonna bring alcohol, and we’re underage,” Raph said with satisfaction, as if that settled the matter.

“We won’t touch the stuff,” said Mikey.

“I just want to show off my dance moves,” said Donnie. “I have no interest in intoxication. For the moment.”

“Raph, this is our chance to do something normal teenagers do,” said Leo. “We’re not gonna be the weirdest ones there, and there are already yōkai, so we don't have to use the costume excuse.”

“Please, please, please!” Mikey begged.

Raph rolled his eyes with a sigh and caved. He came along as their chaperone, but when Donnie last saw him, Raph was showing off his diving skills to the crowd and drinking a whole carton of apple juice without pouring it out.

The party was wild, even by teenage standards, and, in line with Raph’s expectations, it was pretty obvious that someone had handed out alcohol at some point. Yōkai teens knew how to go crazy, which was attributable to the looser laws of the Hidden City. The humans who tagged along for the event poured in through a portal in the living room and would probably be too hungover in the morning to remember anything. No one seemed to know who the host was, only that the mansion could fit five lairs, and the music made ears bleed.

Donnie leaned over the balcony, catching a glimpse of Leo, who was surrounded by a crowd of both humans and yōkai. He was spinning a hilarious anecdote, and the audience was roaring with laughter. The sight was surreal, almost like a peek into their lives if they went to a regular school. Leo was basking in the attention, and it stirred a satisfying warmth in Donnie's chest - something akin to pride. After everything they'd been through, Leo deserved to have some time off.

"Hey, there you are!" Mikey hopped up onto the balcony with a flip, perched on the rail and swinging his legs. "I've heard this song like, five times now, and I know it's one of your favorites," he said.

"What a strange but welcome coincidence," Donnie drawled.

"So you're not hacking the sound system, forcing everyone to listen to your tunes?"

"Gasp! You dare accuse me of music-related crimes?!"

"If I were, would you consider committing a music-related crime in my name?"

"...Depends on what kind of reward I could expect."

"How about free hugs?"

"Psh, those cost nothing. Literally, that's why they're free. What else you got?"

"My unending gratitude and love."

Donnie rolled his eyes. "I suppose I could provide a free sample...okay, Miguel, name your request."

"I'm Blue."

"Absolutely not."

"Donnie, if you play I'm Blue, I guarantee that Leo will start dancing to it! It'll make him happy, it'll make me happy!"

"I'm thinking of rescinding music requests."

"Donnie, I'm begging you! I need to hear it!"

Mikey latched onto his arm and shook. Donnie groaned. Only for Mikey.

“You’re lucky you’re my favourite brother,” said Donnie.

“I am?!” Mikey asked. “Do you mean that, Dee?!”

“Nevertheless, I am going to make myself scarce to somewhere quieter to get away from it.

Donnie put on I’m Blue, and no sooner had the singer started singing about a guy living in a blue world when he saw Leo bob his head. He said something else that made his audience laugh. Then the chorus started and he was dancing so horribly that Donnie averted his eyes. Mikey whooped and egged him on.

“I’m not related, I’m not related, I’ve never seen him before in my life, we’re not even the same species,” Donnie chanted under his breath.

He retreated inside the house, away from the raunchy partygoers and deafening music. While Leo entertained the guests, it was an excellent opportunity to do some light snooping. After all, it wasn't every day that he got to sneak around in a yokai mansion. The house resembled a human home, albeit with more mystical objects and scientific marvels lying around. Donnie wondered if the host's parents knew about the party.

His feet crunched on discarded snacks as he mapped out the house. His scans picked up an abundance of abnormal energy signatures, which he could analyze later as a perfect late-night activity. Donnie found himself in an empty office with large windows overlooking the party. The room was deserted and untouched by the partygoers. It was an impressive office, all things considered, with bookcases populated by rare books and an impressive portrait of a moth yokai hung over a fireplace. A self-congratulatory self-portrait, perhaps. Donnie scanned the books and found most of them uninteresting. However, some appeared to be printed fan fiction, which he took photos of for blackmail material.

As he turned to leave, the beats of "I'm Blue" died down, and he took two steps before someone cranked his arm behind his back, and something sharp jabbed into his neck. Donnie struggled, half-expecting to hear one of his brothers burst out laughing, telling him he was too jumpy.

Instead, he caught a whiff of the scent of blue raspberry.

Donnie glimpsed the person holding him reflected in the portrait's glass. Kendra flashed him a wicked smile and said with casual flair, “Hey, Donnie.”

Donnie plunged into ice water. He fought and pulled; she wasn’t strong, he could still pull away—Then he looked in the reflection and saw that it was her bionic pinky finger jabbed at his throat, transformed into a sharp knife.

Kendra’s reflection grinned horribly and she shoved him into the waiting arms of Jeremy. Stupid, he was so stupid. He’d felt eyes on him during the party and assumed they were from the other partiers, should’ve known the eyes of the enemy when they were trained on him. Should’ve felt Kendra’s stare anywhere. It was a unique sensation, a cold prickle that climbed up his spine, and he hadn’t recognized it.

In the year since he’d last seen Jeremy, he’d gotten taller, broader, stronger. Donnie was ready to fight, but Kendra had caught him off-guard and his senses hadn’t caught up yet, and Jeremy seized him in a hard arm lock from behind. Donnie’s feet lifted off the ground as he fought back, then couldn’t without threatening to snap his bones in half.

“Geez, I can’t believe you were right,” said Jeremy.

“Of course I was right,” said Kendra. “I knew the moment I saw your stupid ass brother that you couldn’t be far behind.”

“You’ll have to be more specific than that, they’re all stupid,” said Donnie.

Donnie kicked Jeremy’s shin. No reaction. Jeremy pulled Donnie into a full-on hold, grabbing him from under the armpits and locking his hands behind Donnie’s head. His lower body flailed in the air, trying to land a good kick at Kendra as she gawked with wide, adrenaline-fueled eyes.

“Kendra, can we just go?” It was Jase’s voice. Jase stood by the door, looking nervous and off-balance. A light insult in his direction would be enough to push him over.

“Ugh, why are you always such a fucking coward?” Kendra demanded. “Christ, I’m not letting this go this time.”

“Oh, how long are you gonna hold a grudge?” Donnie demanded. “Not to mention, you owe me!”

“Owe you?!”

“I saved your life! I could’ve left you to the Foot Clan.”

“That doesn’t count, Donnie. Besides, I could’ve done the same.”

“Kendra, I think we should really just go,” said Jase. “His brothers are literally right outside.”

“Yeah, and too busy being show-offs to care.”

“What are you doing here, Kendra?” Donnie demanded.

“What the hell does it look like? I was just enjoying the party until you came along. I could practically see your forehead over the heads of the crowd.”

“I knew I should’ve killed you when I got the chance.”

“Well, you fucked that up. Hey, nice stick, by the way. Is it new? I liked the old one better.”

Kendra picked up his bō, twirling it with the haphazard care of someone who had never handled one before. Sweat formed on the back of his neck before Jeremy's hot breath dried it up. The familiar buzz of anxiety clouded his thoughts, and he watched Kendra examine the smooth wood of his bō with an unflinching stare. A few hundred pounds of dismay dropped into Donnie’s stomach.

He knew the look on her face, knew her well. He recognized the satisfied smirk of Kendra cooking up a new way to be unrepentantly evil, knew the smirk that grew into a toothy grin, creating a deep cleft in Donnie’s chest. His breathing increased, but his throat constricted, barely allowing oxygen to fill his anxiety-filled lungs. He felt like he was about to drown on dry land.

“Oh, I got a horrible idea,” Kendra announced, and she laughed, darkness gathering in her eyes. “Damn, I might actually be evil after all. Jeremy, keep holding him.”

“Kendra?” Jase said.

“Shut up, Jase, and watch the door.”

“What are you—”

“I said watch the fucking door!”

Jase turned and did as instructed.

“Ever the good little follower, huh?” Donnie rasped out. He could taste the bitterness on his tongue.

Kendra tightened her grip on Donnie's throat, forcing both him and Jeremy to fall to the ground. Donnie's panic reached a fever pitch, desperate to escape her grasp. In his frenzy, he would have gladly hurled himself through the nearby glass window. In the very peripheral of his vision, he saw Leo surrounded by his posse, ignorant of what was happening. Donnie couldn’t fathom how Leo’s world was expanding when his was ending.

Donnie clawed at Jeremy’s arms before he locked up his arms, facing him towards Kendra. Her hand touched Donnie’s hip. He wasn’t claustrophobic, but the room was pitching. Dread punched into his gut and released chilling adrenaline. Donnie screwed his eyes shut, hoping it would lock out the sensation of Kendra pressing against him, pressing against his knees, pressing them apart—

He realized what was coming, what she wanted. Humiliation. It wasn’t enough hurting him. Exposing him. She wanted everything. His identity. His dignity. Shutting his eyes amplified her presence, made her wretched touch burn on his skin like she was holding it against hellfire. No matter where he went, what he did, Kendra could insert her presence into it, blow her breath on his cheek. Donnie pressed his cheek against the shoulder of Jeremy’s windbreaker, digging his nails into his palms until hot blood ran down his wrists.

“Kendra—” Donnie’s voice stumbled, struggled over words, wound them up tight. He didn’t recognize his voice. He wrenched one leg away from her, pressed his calf up against her sternum. “Kendra, think about this—”

“Keep begging, Donnie, you know I like it,” said Kendra.

“Kendra, please—”

Liquid ice pumped through Donnie’s vein. He froze, despite every ounce of willpower screaming at him to fight. Kendra’s hands were a curse that nullified his body, made him dizzy with fear. She pushed his calf aside and ran a cautious hand up the length of his long legs. Extending her bionic pinky finger, she transformed it into a small knife, not even big enough to cut vegetables. Only enough to cut him.

He thought for a horrifying moment that she was going to slice his shorts right off. Although she didn’t, what she did do was nevertheless awful. Kendra insert the blade into the meat of inner thigh and carved.

Stars went supernova in the black of Donnie’s eyelids. He decided to keep them open, the lesser of two evils. At least with his eyes open he saw what was coming, see what Kendra was doing. He bit his tongue on the pain, then couldn’t hold back anymore and cried out, jerking his leg until Kendra held it steady with crushing force. Maybe he could still fight, kick her while she was distracted, bite Jeremy on the arm, but his body froze, couldn’t and didn’t move.

“Kendra,” Donnie said.

“Relax, I’m just marking my territory,” said Kendra.

“Just kill me.”

“I’m not gonna kill you, Donnie. On the contrary, I want you to live a long, long life with scars to remember me by. In fact, I hope you meet the love of your life, so they can see this and know that I got to you first.”

A sudden spike of pain made Donnie jolt. Kendra drove the blade in deep, slicing with the confidence of someone who wanted to make the scars last. Against his better judgment, Donnie looked down and saw the outlines of bleeding letters.

His chest was heaving, but he couldn’t intake oxygen, and he had little choice but to rest his head against Jeremy’s shoulder and stare at the ceiling. Raph’s awkward sex talks flooded back to him, and despite his confidence in the power of science, he couldn’t—he wanted to remember what Raph had said, what had Raph said about this? Just say no? No, he’d said to fight. Donnie’s body wouldn’t cooperate, he couldn’t even though it should be so, so simple to crush Kendra’s head between his knees and throw her off. Raph made it sound so easy.

He’d never thought about sex before, not seriously. It was a biological urge, a distraction to be dealt with behind closed doors. Donnie had never—well, not with someone else. He ran through the process in his mind, struggled to remember Raph’s awkward sex talks, realized that technical knowledge didn’t make up for lack of experience. Shit, Kendra was turning him inside out.

Donnie made a strangled, awful sob when Kendra moved onto his other leg. He felt he might pass out. He needed to breathe yet his chest was cluttered with heaving cries. His face was wet. Donnie couldn’t tell it was sweat or tears. Both tasted salty. His gaze travelled and locked with Jase standing by the door and he was looking at him with open fear and Donnie had to pull his eyes away with shame.

“Hey, Jase, get a picture of this,” Kendra said.

“I…” Jase was holding onto the doorknob with white-knuckled strength.

“C’mon, don’t be an ass!”

“I gotta go.”

Jase bolted out the door.

“Fucking typical!” Kendra huffed. “Fine, I’ll do it myself. Take a good, long look, Donnie.”

Donnie stared at the ceiling panels. They were a deep onyx, almost reflective.

“I said LOOK!”

Kendra seized him by the back of his neck and forced his gaze down, at the words she’d written, one on each inner thigh. Donnie could barely read them through a watery film and he watched tears make a long journey from his eyes to the floor.

---

“So I said, ‘You really shouldn’t play too much faith in atoms.’ And so Donnie—that’s my stupid brother—he was like, why not? And I said, ‘Because atoms make up everything!’”

Leo’s audience, a collection of both human and yōkai teens, some drunk, some not, roared with canned laughter, although the joke was pretty terrible even by his standards. For the moment, Leo didn’t care. He was in his element, a true extrovert’s paradise, at the centre of a gaggle of people whose names he didn’t remember at a party at an address he couldn’t recall. It was the epitome of the teenage experience, a night of mindless debauchery and Splinter didn’t even know where they were.

It was liberating. Living in the sewers often felt like living in a prison. Sure, they had the Hidden City to retreat to, but Leo liked sunshine and crowded beaches, and not getting stared at, and it was hard to replicate the feeling of the sun on his face when the Hidden City was so deeply entrenched underground in more way than one. He wanted to go to movies without wearing a disguise, and sometimes—though he would never admit it—he even wanted to go to school.

But tonight, the human and yōkai teens around him didn’t care about that. They didn’t care about appearances, or who lived on what surface. No one cared and the freedom tasted mesmerizing.

The crowd was still in the middle of laughter when Leo caught an unexpected movement out of the corner of his eye and his smile caught. A hand grabbed his arm.

“Wait, I know you,” Leo said, turning to the new face.

It wasn’t new, though. It was Jase.

“You need to help Donnie,” said Jase, before Leo could say anything.

“What?”

“You need to help Donnie.”

Ice crystals formed in his veins. The audience was still laughing over nothing. It didn’t matter anymore, the popularity, the stories, the stares of admiration. He thought about Donnie, about Jase. About the common thread that linked both of them together.

Where was Donnie?

It had been a while since he’d seen Donnie. He scanned the balcony where he’d last seen him and saw nothing.

“Where?” Leo asked.

“Office, second floor.” Jase pointed to the house. “It’s on the left—”

Leo was running before Jase could even finish his sentence. He didn’t even take the stairs, just crawled up a pillar and over the railing of the balcony. There was only one way Jase would be here. Donnie hadn’t sent out an emergency distress beacon, but Leo hit the one on his belt, anything to get Mikey and Raph’s attention when he couldn’t spare the time to go looking for them in the crowd.

He shoved past some party-goers and ran.

---

Kendra's fingers seared hot on his throat as she gave his windpipe a tight squeeze. Black spots erupted in Donnie's vision, pulling him into the void. He tried to decide if being unconscious would be better, but Kendra took that away from him too and loosened her grip for him to breathe. Perhaps that's what she wanted—for him to remember.

"Jeremy, do you want to go first, or should the stick go first?" Kendra asked conversationally.

"I'll go after the stick," said Jeremy.

"Just don't get pissed if you get a splinter."

Kendra reached for his bō, and Donnie desperately wanted to fold together like origami paper, to hide small, vulnerable fissures growing wider and wider in his flesh.

BANG.

Hope literally broke down the door.

Leo looked like a saviour when he stepped over the threshold, a long-awaited hero here to slay the dragon and rescue him. Donnie gasped out his name, "Leo!" and watched in satisfaction as angered surprise appeared on Kendra, hardening her, tight with fury at the interruption.

Leo froze. He took in the sight in front of him - Jeremy holding Donnie from behind, Kendra between his legs, his bō in her hand. They all just stared for a long while as Donnie watched everyone calculate their next move.

Something horrible happened to Leo's face. Stormy rage gathered and exploded. He drew a katana in a single move.

He and Kendra were two gunslingers at high noon, and Kendra held up her bionic finger at the exact same time. A powerful blast ripped through the room, and Leo leapt to the side to avoid a white hot laser beam. Kendra must've taken his advice about the heat sink. The arms holding Donnie let go. Jeremy was gone. Donnie scrambled back, crying out, and then - glass shattered. He glimpsed Kendra standing in front of the broken window, and their gazes caught in the moments before she leapt out. When they did, she smirked something awful and blew a kiss.

By the time Leo got to his feet, Kendra and Jeremy had both leapt out the window, both with katanas drawn. Donnie saw the intention in his face to pursue them, to leave him.

"Leo?" Donnie said, unable to keep the hysterical note out of his voice. "Leo?!"

The call worked. Leo rushed back to Donnie.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Leo exclaimed. "Donnie, are you alright? Holy shit!"

Donnie didn't get time to answer when Raph barrelled in through the door, followed shortly by Mikey.

"What the hell is going on?!" Raph asked.

"Raph, I need you to take Donnie home," said Leo. He sliced a portal through the wall. "Mikey, you're with me."

"What? What's going on?"

"Take. Donnie. Home!"

No argument, no leeway. Donnie's senses were alight with panic, and he saw Mikey and Raph's eyes flick to the blood pooling on the ground beneath him. He saw the argument die in Raph's eyes as he scooped him off the ground and they dove through the portal.

---

They lost the Purple Dragons so quickly it was almost comical. Leo spent what felt like an eternity leading Mikey around the area surrounding the mansion, searching for any sign of them, but came up empty-handed. Kendra had made a speedy escape, and when they returned to the party to find Jase, he had also vanished. He had enough of a conscience to call for help when Donnie needed it, but apparently felt guilty enough to make himself scarce when Leo started looking for him. It was as simple as that.

Leo couldn't stop trembling. He felt like a newborn child, bombarded with sights, sounds, and sensations, his senses screaming at him from all sides. He felt like he might be sick. He felt like a failure.

He had failed Donnie. He had made a silent promise to never let this happen to Donnie again, and yet it had occurred right under his nose.

"Leo?" Mikey said.

Leo looked up. He and Mikey were lingering outside the mansion's gates, where he paced, restless and eager for action. His katanas were out, but he couldn't seem to keep a firm grip on them.

"Leo, what happened?" Mikey asked.

He hadn't told Mikey what happened, hadn't told him what he saw, only that they were looking for the Purple Dragons. He didn't need to know the rest, didn't need to be subjected to what Leo had witnessed. Donnie wouldn't want that.

"Leo, what happened?" Mikey repeated.

"You don't need to know," said Leo.

"But something happened to Donnie, right? And the Purple Dragons were involved?"

"Yeah."

"So what happened?"

Leo didn't have an answer he desperately wanted to give Mikey. He paced back and forth on the street, restless, desperate to take action.

“Do you know where Kendra lives?” Leo asked suddenly.

“No?” said Mikey. “Donnie would know that. Should I call—”

“Don’t call him, for fuck’s sake!”

“Leo, you’re scaring me a little here. What’s going on?”

“It’s not important. What’s important is tracking down the Purple Dragons.”

“Leo, look around us. They got away.”

“They didn’t! We just need to look a bit longer—”

“We’re not gonna find them like this! We need Donnie’s help.”

“No, we’re not involving Donnie! Not in this, not with anything to do with those fucking psychopaths!”

Breathless, Leo leaned a hand against the wall and rubbed his eyes. Mikey set a hand on his shoulder and let out a long sigh, resigned.

“We can’t do anything here,” said Mikey. “Let’s go home and see what’s happening.”

Leo didn’t want to face what awaited them back at the lair. He didn’t tell Mikey that, but Mikey must’ve seen it in his eyes because he squeezed hard.

Leo cut the portal into the wall a little more ferociously than he intended, and the cool sensation of stepping through it wasn’t relieving like it usually was. He had to let Mikey push him a little to step all the way through, and when he did, it was to yelling.

The common room was always a mess, but it looked like a bloody hurricane had ripped through in their absence. The crimson trail ended at the open doors to the medbay, where Raph stood with his hands up, and Splinter was off to the side with long lines of stress cracking his face.

“Get the fuck away from me!” Donnie screamed from the medbay.

A drawer of medical equipment flew over Raph’s head, scattering across the floor with a metallic clutter. Splinter turned to Leo and Mikey.

“Blue, what is going on?” Splinter asked.

“Donnie, you need to let me check you for injuries—” Raph ducked as a scalpel flew out. “Geez, Donnie, I’m not trying to hurt you! It’s Raph!”

“I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t CARE!” Donnie yelled, voice cracked and broken. “I don’t care, just stay away!”

“Donnie’s resisting treatment?” Leo asked. The question had a dual purpose. Dodge his father’s question. Try to lighten the mood.“He always was a bad patient.”

“Leonardo, what happened?” Splinter asked again.

“The Purple Dragons happened,” said Leo.

“What?”

Leo peered around the corner. He’d seen Donnie at his worse, seen him throw tantrums and lose his shit, but this was a whole other level. It was full on ugly-crying, eyes looking past and not at Leo, a wild animal kicked into survival mode. Crimson ran down his legs, but Leo scarcely had time to look before Donnie seized a chair and lifted it over his shoulder, ready to swing. A full body-tremble running through Donnie made the chair shake too, made him unsteady on his feet.

Injured animals were the most dangerous. Leo didn’t want to see where the blood ended, to let his mind go to the worst case scenario. He wanted to huddle in a corner and cry, but when he caught Raph’s look, he saw that he was near tears. Helpless. Raph had done all the tending, all the caring when they were growing up, when Splinter was too lost within himself. It was Leo’s turn.

“Donnie, stop throwing things before you take someone’s head off,” Leo said.

“Leave me alone!” Donnie screamed.

Leo leapt out of the way to avoid getting smacked by an airborne chair. Donnie then seized another.

“That’s the last chair in the room, Donnie,” said Leo. “If you throw that, you’re out of ammo.”

Crazed, Donnie swung the chair, prepared to strike, tears running down his face and dripping off his chin. Leo slid into the room.

“It’s just me,” said Leo. “We’re home now. I know it’s really tempting to throw furniture at this face, but please don’t.”

Donnie swung the chair, grazing Leo.

“Donnie, I’m gonna take the chair from you because you might hurt yourself.”

Another swing. Leo caught it that time, held the chair tight as Donnie fought against him.

“Don’t!” Donnie demanded. “Don’t!”

“Donnie, focus! It’s me, your stupid brother Leo! You’re at home!”

Donnie let out a loud sniff, stared at Leo’s chest. His body was shaking so badly that Leo felt it rattling through the chair.

There was a long moment that pushed past the incoherent terror in Donnie’s eyes. He looked away, ashamed, stared at the blood on the floor, the chair in his hands, the way Leo took the chance to grab firmly onto his hand, the sweat, the silent hum of the overhead lights, Raph’s rapid breathing from behind Leo.

Donnie’s hand was clammy and cold to the touch, and Leo remembered the morning they’d first brought him home after he’d first been kidnapped by the Purple Dragons, how he looked like another being, how much this Donnie in front of him looked like the strange being he’d watched sleep in a beanbag chair in the living room for five nights straight.

Donnie’s shoulders stooped low, and Leo would never be able to tell if it was his willpower giving away or simply the weakness taking over when he pulled the chair out of his hands and set it aside.

“I don’t want to—I can’t, I just can’t—don’t touch me!”

Donnie turned from him, holding his face in his hands like it was enough to hide him. Leo watched the full-body tremor start in his brother’s midsection and radiate outwards, down his legs, destabilizing him. Donnie didn’t seem to be breathing. Leo’s eyes lingered on the blood running freely down his legs.

“Donnie, I’m gonna help you over to the examination table,” said Leo.

Donnie smacked away Leo’s hand. It stung something awful in more way than one. Leo gave him a moment, and moved slow-steady to take Donnie by the arm. Donnie burst out in a crying fit, a horrible sob ripping out of his mouth to fill the deathly quiet of the medbay.

“Relax, Herman,” said Leo. “It’s just your favourite brother, Leo. I’m helping you to the examination table.”

The twelve foot walk to the nearest examination table might as well have been a marathon. Donnie’s knees jolted and threatened to buckle. But he kept going. All that mattered was that he kept going, with gentle coaxing from Leo, until finally he was settled on the edge of the bed and pressing his palms hard onto his ears.

Leo had forgotten entirely that everyone else was watching nervously from the door. It was only when Donnie was seated and not throwing anything that they stepped in.

Leo’s eyes passed over the source of the blood: some deep cuts sliced into his inner thighs. Donnie caught him looking and pressed his legs tight together.

“We need to stitch those up,” said Leo. “They’re pretty deep.”

Donnie smacked Leo’s hand away.

“Goddamn,” Leo said, a little more shortly than he intended. “I’m trying to help!”

“I…I can…” Donnie huffed out. He did something that looked like it took a lot of effort. “I can do it.”

“No, you fucking can’t. You can’t even hold your hands still, let alone hold a small, sharp object.”

“Leo?” Raph said.

“In a minute, Raph. Okay. Okay. We’re gonna stitch you up, Donnie, then you’re just gonna…you’re gonna rest while we figure this out.” Leo fumbled through a few drawers for the suture. His hands were no more steady than Donnie’s. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

“Leo, I need to talk to you outside,” said Raph. “Now.”

Raph was staring at him with alarmed eyes. His phone was in his hands.

Mikey hopped up on the examination table next to Donnie, and, unlike Leo, Donnie didn’t resist when Mikey slid their hands together.

The common room felt ice cold when Donnie and Raph stepped out. Splinter was sitting just outside the medbay, also starring at his phone with the most haunted, horrible look Leo had ever seen.

“Leo, what the hell is this?” Raph asked.

Raph held out his phone to Leo, showing a series of photos sent from an unknown number, though Leo didn’t have to have one to know who had sent them. It was a series of pictures of Donnie. Graphic ones. He wasn’t naked in any of them, but that didn’t make the sight any less disturbing. Kendra had taken photos from the most disturbing angles possible, and the words carved onto Donnie’s inner thighs were perfectly visible.

They read: KENDRA’S SLUT.

Leo fought to keep his stomach in his body. After a moment, Raph gently shook his shoulder.

“Is this what you saw?” Raph asked.

Leo nodded.

“Did you see how far—”

“I think I stopped it before it could.”

Raph scooped Leo into a hug and squeezed hard, lifting him off the ground. They held each other for a long while, silent, and he looked over the crook of Raph’s elbow to Splinter. He was staring, lost, at his own phone, and it didn’t take long for it to click together.

That bitch. She gained absolutely nothing from this, nothing except tearing Donnie down.

“How many people do you think she sent this to?” Raph asked.

“Too many,” said Leo.

Leo ducked back into the medbay. He didn’t hear what Mikey was saying to Donnie, but the intonations were soothing and hushed.

“Donnie, do you have your phone?” Leo asked. “Mikey, I need yours too.”

“Why?” Mikey asked.

Leo plucked Mikey’s phone out of his hands. Donnie was slower to respond, squinting at Leo, holding his phone protectively.

“Why do you want it?” Donnie asked.

“I just need to see it,” said Leo.

“But why?”

Leo snatched it away without an answer, and it was a good thing he had; Kendra had spammed Donnie with texts. With photos that made Leo want to puke, disturbing angles, close-ups of the words, then a series of very long and graphic texts describing what she would do the next time they met.

“She took pictures, didn’t she?” Donnie asked.

As much as he wanted to lie, Leo couldn’t. Donnie deserved the truth. “Yeah, she did.”

Donnie took two breaths, holding in oxygen between them, then he finally looked away.

“I want Dad,” said Donnie.

“We really need to stitch up those cuts,” said Leo.

“I want Dad.”

It hurt a little. It felt like a rejection. It wasn’t. Leo still felt the hurt skewer his guts, at the way Donnie refused to look at him or Mikey.

---

Raph’s fist slammed into solid brick, cracking a gaping hole that radiated out, a cobweb of their collective trauma. Mikey shook all over, fists curled, arms rigid at his side, and Leo wanted to go up to him and pull apart his fingers to get him to relax, but didn’t want to break him more than he already had and everything felt broken already and he didn’t want to be the cause of more hurt.

Leo felt like a failure. After what had happened with the Purple Dragons the first time around, he’d sworn never to let it happen again, never to let the Purple Dragons interfere with their life, never let any villain to mess with his brothers in the way they’d messed with Donnie. Although he knew intellectually that this was all unforeseen, that he shouldered no real blame, that didn’t make the horrible, crushing weight on his shoulders any less bone-breaking. He saw it reflected in Mikey and Raph, too. Saw white light glinting on Raph’s moist eyes.

“Why didn’t you catch her, Leo?” Raph asked.

“Because she’s too damn smart for her own good and because she had a head start,” said Leo. “Don’t you think I would’ve caught and beat the everliving shit out of her if I could?”

“How could you possibly lose her?!”

“I wasn’t gonna leave Donnie alone! What, you wanted me to leave him bleeding on the floor?”

“I’m just sayin’ if you’d used your portals—”

“I was surprised! You’re not saying anything that I haven’t already told myself a million times over.”

“You should’ve let me chase after them too. If the three of us worked together, we could’ve caught them.”

“You’re too slow on foot, Raph, you wouldn’t have been able to catch up.”

“Apparently you’re not that fast either.”

“Stop it!” Mikey stepped in, voice sharp. “This isn’t about pinning blame on who didn’t do what, and it’s not about your big fat egos! It’s about Donnie. Check yourselves.”

The argument closed down fast. Mikey was good at that.

Splinter emerged from the medbay, looking stressed but focused, and locked eyes with the three of them.

“Purple is fine,” said Splinter. “He has no injuries aside from those cuts.”

“Dad, how far did it go?” Leo asked. “Did he tell you?”

“You appeared before anything…Well, your appearance was timely.” Splinter squeezed Leo’s hand. “Could you boys look after your brother while I am gone?”

“Wait, you’re going after her?” Leo asked.

“Yes, and before you ask, no, you cannot come. I told that girl what the consequences would be if this happened a second time and I intend to deliver.”

“What’re you gonna do? Are you gonna kill her?”

Splinter was quite a moment, thinking. “It…feels wrong to kill someone so young no matter how horrible she is. I will not hurt her…No, I am going to ruin her life, and I will start by speaking with her parents.”

“Ouch, she might wish you’d killed her after that,” said Mikey.

“Dad, let me come,” Leo begged.

“Your spirit is strong, my son, but your brother needs you here,” said Splinter. “Let me handle this.”

There was no room for argument, only a tight, claustrophobic corner where Leo tried to dredge one up and found none, and he realized that he didn’t want to leave Donnie’s side, that he would do anything in that moment to protect Donnie, and that going after his attacker wasn’t the only way to do that.

Mikey slid into the medbay. Leo glanced inside to find Donnie dressed in sweatpants and his preferred purple hoodie pulled far over his head, staring at his hands and flinching away when Mikey came too close. Donnie glanced up, and his and Leo’s stares caught.

Leo blacked out for a moment, and when he came to, he was in his room, grabbing the doorframe for support to steady his breathing. Raph was right behind him, his shadow swallowing him whole.

“It was my idea to go to that stupid party,” said Leo.

“Leo, I’m real sorry,” said Raph. “I’m sorry I yelled, I shouldn’t have—I…I didn’t mean…I didn’t mean any of it. It wasn’t your fault.”

“You think Donnie feels that way?”

“Of course he doesn’t. You stopped her before it got worse, and Donnie’s safe now.”

“I should’ve been there faster.”

“Leo, you got there fast enough. Don’t punish yourself like this.”

“…God, I’m doing just what Mikey said not to do: I’m making it all about myself. How do we fix this, Raph? How?”

Raph didn’t have the answers. Leo realized that none of them did, that it was pointless to go grasping at something that didn’t seem to have them.

Too often in the past, Leo had gone looking to Donnie for answers. How to solve a problem, how to fix something broken, how to win the unwinnable. Now Donnie didn’t have answers either and Leo was adrift in an uncertain sea, the harsh tide battering his broken body on jagged rocks. There was no answer, only the vague sense of a great injustice, and the knowledge that there was very little he could do to mend the cracks left behind.

---

Leo slept restlessly on the couch for a few hours, plagued with nightmares and the vague sense of being unsettled. He felt as though a monster was living under the couch, poking through the cushions with pins and needles, and he ached far too much when his brain convinced him to wake up fully.

Splinter still wasn’t back. Concerning, but not surprising. Leo knew he could take care of himself but he shot out a message to him anyway. It was early morning, and he knew that April would be getting up pretty soon, and suddenly he wondered if Kendra had sent any photos to her as well. Leo shot off a text to April asking her to call him first chance she got and hoped to God she would see his text before anything Kendra might’ve sent her.

Donnie wasn’t in the medbay, but Raph stood guard outside his open bedroom door, leaning on the frame and staring inside. Donnie was at his computer, hands clutched firmly around a controller, headphones on. It was typical Donnie-speak for ‘Don’t-even-think-about-interrupting-me,’ a warning sign to keep others away.

“How’s the brainiac doing?” Leo asked Raph, voice low. “Did you talk to him?”

“I tried,” said Raph. “I tried, Leo, I tried for an hour and he shut me out. Then Mikey tried, and Donnie yelled at him.”

“He yelled at Mikey. Mikey?” Leo massaged his forehead. “Alright, guess it’s Leon’s turn.”

“Don’t take it personally if he gets upset, just…just drop it if he doesn’t want to talk.”

“I can handle it.”

Donnie didn’t stir when Leo pulled up a rolling stool beside him.

“Are you winning, son?” Leo asked.

No answer. Not even a snark or a side eye. Even though Donnie’s attention was on the game, there was no real sense of focus to it, only muscle memory. He was playing Terraria, building a tower that was far more asymmetrical than Donnie typically liked to build.

“Donnie?” said Leo.

“I’m busy,” Donnie said curtly. At least his voice was normal.

“Get un-busy.”

“I formally apologize for all the trouble that has been…I mean, I’m issuing a formal apology.”

“You didn’t cause the trouble, Dee.”

Donnie didn’t answer him. “I’m busy, can’t talk.”

“Donnie, we didn’t talk about what happened the last time the Purple Dragons were in the picture, and I can’t let you slide away again.”

“That was by design. I’m not discussing this.”

“I don’t care you you talk to, just that you talk to someone. What—What about April?”

“Why the hell do you think I’d go over this with April? With anyone?”

“So, what? You’re just gonna repress the shit out of everything and not deal with it?”

“And here I was worried that I would have to explain it in excruciating detail.”

“Donnie—”

“Discussion over.”

“Can we just—”

“Over.”

Leo looked, helpless, at Raph, hoping he could swoop in and fix the problem. Raph couldn’t though, this was beyond even Raph. He didn’t know how to break the wall Donnie rapidly built between them. What was he going to do? Bring a sledgehammer down on it? Rip the controller out of his hand, rob Donnie of the choice like Kendra had tried to rob him?

Donnie’s hands were shaking on the controller. He paused as if taking a breath in a marathon, taking in air.

“Can I do anything?” Leo asked. He couldn’t be sure if he was asking for himself or for Donnie.

“…Moon Lord,” said Donnie.

“Huh?”

“Moon Lord. I need to fight the Moon Lord to get…I need more materials. Grab a controller.”

“Sounds like a four-turtle job.”

Donnie’s head dipped a little. His eyes were wide, unseeing.

“Feels like we could use two extra hands if we’re gonna go ham on the Moon Lord,” said Leo. “Teamwork makes dreamwork, am I right?”

Donnie nodded and didn’t stop. He set his controller down and squeezed Leo’s knee, rubbing a sleeve over his eyes. Raph gave Leo a thumbs up and left to grab Mikey, and when he was gone and when Donnie pulled back his arm, his eyes were perfectly dry, devoid of the miserable ache that had been there before. Wherever it had gone, Donnie had burned and buried it in a place that no one, not even Leo, could hope to touch.

#bad things happen bingo #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #this one really is a bad things happen #please please read responsibly #nimble writes

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