#expect one of these to be done every 6 months lmao

[leviiackrman]

Okay yall, pls enjoy Chika’s full story now up on her page: read here

tag list (ask to be added or removed): @risingsh0t @bbrocklesnar @carrionsflower @statichvm @roofgeese @unholymilf @florbelles @arklay @captmactavish @shellibisshe @simonxriley @queennymeria @marivenah @nokstella @vvardenfae @thedeadthree @jacobseed @jackiesarch @heroofpenamstan @dameayliins @carlosoliveiraa @shadowglens @fenharel @alexxmason @malefiicarum @nightbloodbix

[seventh-district]

several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold

[hexxbug]

ACT 3!!

I can't believe it's over :((

This is probably more analysis than the other ones I've done lol, spoilers below :o

─ ─ ──┉─ ¡! • !¡ ─┉── ─ ─

AHHHHH so sad, I loved it sm

AND WE GOT MORE EKKO!!! FINALLY!!!!

Timebomb!!! I don't ship it a lot, I prefer them platonically icl but it was sooo cute! (the au has won me over though lol but I personally still think in the main timeline they wouldn't be together, maybe Ekko has a crush on her but I hc Jinx as either aroace or just not in a place to be interested in romance)

I think they should've given us a couple extra episodes because him and Heimerdinger, Mel and the whole Jayce Viktor story did not get enough screen time imo, could've done with a bit more interaction idk

THE RECORD BEING JINX AND EKKO NOT VI!!

Claggor glancing at Mylo, now I may be projecting but that was NOT subtle🤨🤨😏🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

HEIMERDINGER STAYED BEHIND!! NOOOOOO. he was such a silly guy I was very sad

Cait being like "who decides who gets a second chance" like it wasn't her busting Vi out of jail like 6 months prior

JINX SHE WAS SO BROKEN😭😭😭😭MY POOR LASS

lowkey wish we'd got to see her go absolutely batshit over Isha's death but I get the direction they went in (or just been able to see more of their reaction and recovery from her death in general)(because that shit was glossed over)

Vi being so upset and destroyed about Jinx, saying she shouldn't have done this and then Cait going mf I practically engineered this whole encounter😭😭😭

CAITVI IS A GO!!! I REPEAT CAITVI IS A GO!!!! HHHHHHGHHHHHGGG THEY'RE SO FUCKING CUTE!! I really love how the scene played out

VI'S "Cait I don't FUCKING CARE" just marry her already (ngl not the way I thought that confession would go but I'm glad it was pretty happy)

MEL!!!! I love her character design smmmm it keeps getting better and better🤩🤩🤩she needed more time and practice with her powers though I think they rushed that a bit.

HE REALLY WAS THE BOY SAVIOUR!!!!! COMING IN CLUTCH THERE AT THE END

JAYCE. VIKTOR. YOU GAY MFSS LMAO (platonic or romantic they are so in love) I also think they rushed their whole story because both of them were suddenly like "oh yeah besties again✨✨" and I wanted a bit more story there but THEY STARTED IT TOGETHER AND THEY ENDED IT TOGETHER🥲🥲(they basically saved Piltover with the power of friendship)

JINX NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'm not okay💔 I know it's what she wanted, really, but it felt so flat idk I wish she'd lived and come to terms with every (also I love her and she needs to come back so that's probably why I didn't like it too lmaoo)(ik she fell like a hundred stories or whatever and canon divergence is a thing but my girl is a big part in LoL so maybeeeeee????)(I'm once again in denial....)

ALSOOO CAIT WAS LOOKING AT THE BLUEPRINTS FOR THE HEXGATE AND HAD JINX'S BOMB SO I WILL STAY UNDER MY LITTLE DENIAL ROCK THANKYOU VERY MUCH

Honourable mentions:

Heimerdinger being like "you sure it's 4 seconds???" and Ekko just like •_• "mmmhm yep definitely" poor guy was TRAUMATISED😭😭😭it was so funny to me

All the outfits in ep 7, I loved them! ALSO THE DANCE SCENE!! SO SWEET

LEST!! I wanted to see more of her she was so cool!

The blue haired woman who died:(( rip to a queen

And the guy who took over manning the hex gun🫡

Maddie, ngl I wasn't expecting her to betray Cait but it was unsurprising really, I would've loved to see what she'd make of the aftermath and better terms the city's are on but it was also a very dramatic moment for Mel and I liked the twist lol.

FIRELIGHTS(EKKO) FIGHTING TOGETHER WITH JINX!!!! AYYY

Just the whole union of Piltover and Zuan in the fight against Ambessa and the Herald(I wanted more build up for that too tbh but anyway)

VIKTOR GOING THROUGH ALL THE TIMELINES TO FIX IT AND IT BEING JAYCE!!!

The sweet little Cait and Vi scene at the end🥹

My mum who's been subjected to all of S2 and her main comment at the end was "I'm still a bit confused" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[project-sekai-facts]

Pre-broadcast station commentary

The next broadcast station will be held on the 27th, featuring Chiruriin, Jiena, Itoken, and Minoringo. The guest during the VOCALOID Music SEKAI segment this time will be Shishi Shishi.

Rotation 4 is nearly done and only has one event left, that being Ena's 4th event! We can definitely expect her event to be announced on stream. Her event will be 2DMV and the rateup at the very least should feature Mizuki. Hopefully pure attribute so Niigo can finally get a pure vsinger 4* card.

That said, there will be one other event too! Since Chiruriin is here, I'm tempted to say it will be for Saki, but Ichika works too I guess if there's any card distribution issues.

For the 3.5 mixed event... well Akito not getting a card at all on concerto seems to pretty much confirm him for the event. This happened to Mizuki back in December. As for the other cards, there's surprisingly few people it could be. The 5 most likely characters are Akito (likely the banner character), Airi, Saki, Honami, and KAITO (mmj or n25). Miku (vbs or mmj) also works if clpl doesn't care about vsinger lim balance. Rui and Nene work too, but it's pretty much confirmed that Tsukasa and Emu are the fes cards, so is clpl cruel enough to put 3 of 4 wxs members on lim rateup 8 days after wxs lim rateup? I think Akito/Airi/Saki is most likely, with mmj kaito as the vsinger card.

And for April lim, I actually have an idea already. April's lim slot has consistently been unit lims. Every year. Here's the thing though: like with 3.5, there's barely any units that actually work. It won't be niigo because of Ena4 being the same month. It can't be MMJ because 3/4 of their members are maxed for lims (and if airi's on 3.5 you can make that 4/4). It's incredibly likely that either Saki or Honami will be lim on 3.5, which puts you with 3/4 being maxed for lims (plus the chances of saki5). WxS in theory works with Nene/Rui/Luka lineup, but you hit a snag with the fact they already have 4/6 vsinger lims.

If April is a limited unit event, it will probably be for VBS. There's some other evidence to back this up too, namely the fact it kinda has to be An/Toya limited if it does happen. Akito 3.5 will max him out for lims, Kohane had valentines recently but long enough that it could justify her getting a lim. However we know already that An and Toya have already gone more than a year without lims, the absolute maximum time to go without a lim (as of posting) is 15 months, 15 months after white day Toya puts him on the wedding banner, and he already has a wedding card. He has to be april limited unless colopale hates him lmao. And obviously, An works for the banner card and also has gone ages without a lim. Luka, Rin or Miku could work as a vsinger card.

This stream will also reveal the songs for the 3.5 anniversary vsinger song campaign, as well as possibly give us a sneak peek of this year's april fools prank.

[mentauxx]

⚠️ Spoilers for Shinrei tantei Yakumo volume 11 - file 01 ⚠️

Part 1 starts with the first victim of the four supernatural phenomena/the nasty things that'll be occuring later on in this book.

Rereading this really makes me appreciate how good Kaminaga-sensei is at building up the tension and picking your curiosity.

Especially in this form since one chapter is translated per month (or two I think (?))

Waiting every two months for a chapter is WAY better than reading the whole thing in one sitting if you ask me.

The emptiness I felt after reading this in 2019 and that major cliff hanger was just too much to handle.

Part 2 jumps to Yakumo's POV A.K.A the best POV of the series.

Now I have a lot to say on this one, so I'll be making a separate post later.

But, omg the way he smiled just thinking about her? Boy is the standard FR

-

3

-

It's good to see Gotou doing well after his accident in volume 10. I do wonder how he'll handle the events that are about to occur in this volume tho.

The hug between Gotou and Nao is just too precious, and the fact that Atsuko referred to him as dad. Blood relation? Who needs that?

Unfortunately, Eishin just HAD to end his momentary happiness.

He'll never escape Eishin. Not even in Shin • Yakumo haha.

“I never wanted that”

This sure reminds me of when Ayaka was begging Kinoshita to “Stop already”.

Eishin is so unserious lmao.

-

4

-

Love the Ishii and Miyagawa duo. Ngl I do miss when Gotou and Ishii used to investigate together, but this duo isn't bad either.

You can tell Miyagawa's respect for Ishii definitely increased, ESPECIALLY since volume 9.

The head poke is so funny. Gotou could NEVER.

I don't blame Ishii for being scared. Not even one bit.

-

5

-

Yaharu my beloveds~

I'm definitely making a another separate post about the drastic changes in their relationship.

But for now I'll try to focus on the plot.

If I gained enough credits and landed my dream job MONTHS before I graduate, you won't stop hearing me brag about it.

Lol Haruka acting like a proud mother when Yakumo told her HE was the one picking up trouble this time.

-

6

-

I love how it said This box shouldn't be opened and then they proceeded to open it lol

I mean, I would've done the same ����

-

7

-

STOP THE WAY HE PUTS HIS HAND ON HER HEAD

Mission: Stop putting your hand on Haruka's head.

Difficulty level: impossible

”Spread… what are you saying?”

Oh my god Yakumo 😂

The way Haruka finds Yakumo's glare adorable is just so cute.

“What a boring era.”

Lol

-

8

-

The Kumakichi joke will NEVER get old.

So Sana is a high schooler, huh.

I don't know why I imagined her a middle schooler while reading the prologue.

Maybe because the ghost she saw was a middle schooler I guess?

I feel bad Like how tf do you expect a human being to stay sane when a drenched ghost is approaching them every day?

Gotou and Ishii bumping into each other is hilarious.

-

9

-

Do NOT listen to her. It won't end pretty for you.

I understand why he would tho. Humans will cling to their last hope even if their brains scream that it's a bad idea.

-

10

-

I just LOVE the friendship between Haruka and Makoto, and them having girls talk in front of Yakumo is just hilarious.

Haruka offered her seat and sat next to Yakumo. Happened many times. Will I stop screaming about it? No.

Haruka, Yakumo, and Makoto trio? I support.

-

11

-

Oh, fun fact: Meisei university is actually a real university.

Nooo Yakumo are you ok? I hope he doesn't experience what happened in Aokigahara's sea of trees again :(

I love how we're learning more about ghosts in this volume.

“Stop it. Don’t you dare go and confirm it even if unintentionally.”

There's a limit to how wholesome a couple be, is Kaminaga-sensei perhaps not aware of this?

THE HEAD PAT Y'ALL

Makoto is so me lol

When I first read this volume in 2019 I didn't find it odd that Yakumo made up a lie and tricked the student affairs to get a key to the warehouse, but now that I'm rereading it, will Mizukawa REALLY believe that Yakumo decided to help out voluntarily just like that? Not to mention that Mizukawa isn't the only student affairs member Yakumo was involved with.

I wonder if this little detail will change in the complete version?

-

12

-

Keiko did point that out before to which Haruka replied that she “doesn't understand how someone can act spoiled in front of the person they like.” I relate so bad.

Yakumo supporting Haruka when she was about to fall is so cute.

Human experimentation? Are you kidding me rn?

The chapter ends with them discovering Unkai's corpse. I think I'm starting to understand the direction Kaminaga-sensei is going for. I've ALWAYS been interested in the circumstances regarding Unkai's death.

Overall, an excellent intro to the tragic incident that shocked Japan.

[queenofbaws]

six sentence weekend...wrap-up??? for 2024, anyway ;P

hey friendos <3 as much as the inexorable march of time terrifies me, it is with a heavy heart i point out..............we're in the last leg of the year, and man. there are. some holidays a'comin. because of that (and a few other winterly obligations), i'm anticipating i probably won't be around much on the weekends for a hot minute 🥺

BUT!!! since i really, really love getting to do little drabbly request stuff during my downtime, i thought i might close out 2024 and start 2025 like this: opening my inbox, letting you guys throw some requests at me, and i'll just. do 'em when i do 'em. post a couple on the weekends here and there until i'm done.

if you're interested, i'm throwing a couple extra deets (and some potential prompt lists, oooooh) below the readmore!!! either way, as always, hope you're doing well out there <333

OTHER DETAILS, YOU SAY???

1. since i'm really going to be focusing most of my energy in the coming weeks on, like, surviving family thanksgiving. and other. horrifying. things. *widens eyes in usamerican politics* i'm probably not going to stick to SIX sentences specifically for these prompts, so i cannot and will not promise every fill will be, y'know. of equal length lmao maybe it'll be 6 sentences! maybe it'll be 7! maybe it'll be a page, i truly cannot say. PLEASE don't expect a fully fleshed out oneshot, however, these will still be on the shorter side!!!!!!!!!!!!!! reader beware, you're in for...an...unfair...number of...words.

oh god the seasonal madness is already taking hold.

2. if you'd like to read something i've posted here as part of these fills to ao3, feel free to let me know!!! i'm always happy to put stuff up there, i just typically use ao3 for longer things and tumblr for shorter ones, but i'm always, always, ALWAYS happy to oblige :)c and if you throw your ao3 username at me, i'm ALSO happy to gift you any work you've prompted yourself! <3

3. as always, i'd appreciate not getting requests for cl*mb*ng class or anything shippy involving travis h*ckett, jason k*lchek or gr*nthem du'm*t - anything NON-shippy is SO fine, totally a-okay, don't sweat that :P

4. truly cannot stress how slow i will likely be at these. i could very well still be filling stuff in, like, march, so know in advance i appreciate your patience hehe

5. stuff absolutely does NOT need to be holiday themed, please don't feel like you have to do that just because we're nearing the holiday season! if you ARE looking for inspo, tho, i've found a few prompt lists that look fun... ;)c just please be sure to include the entire prompt in your ask if you decide to pull from these lists - if you just say, like, "#14 for so-and-so" i won't know which list you're talking about 😔

LATE NIGHT DIALOGUE PROMPT LIST

THREE WORDS PROMPT LIST

DRUNKEN LOVE CONFESSIONS PROMPT LIST

aaaaaaaaand i think that's about it? uh, stay safe and have fun??? hehehe seriously tho, i hope these next few months treat us all kindly, and that we have some fun along the way <3

[rorywritesjunk]

(lmao I was given an idea and decided to go for it. I had fun writing Shanks as a teen boy.)

pt 1 + pt 2 + pt 3 + pt 4 + pt 5 + pt 6 + pt 7 + pt 8 + pt 9 + pt 10 + pt 11 + pt 12 + pt 13 + pt 13.5 + pt 14 + pt 15

pt 8

It wasn't Buggy and his captain that came through the door this time but someone else. A boy around Sunny's age with red hair and a strawhat on his head. He was with someone needing work done by Miss Pins, of course, why else would anyone come to the shop?

Sunny greeted them as she was told to do, asking what they needed help with as her boss came from the backroom. Just pants needing to be mended, length hemmed, and pockets needing to be fixed. Pants that have seen better days.

She looked at the boy who seemed to be watching her curiously. At this point Sunny was used to it.

"Do you need work done as well?" She asked politely. He shook his head, grinning widely as he leaned on the counter.

"How about you give me a tour of the town?" He asked. Sunny looked at him funny before looking back at her boss who was reaching for her shotgun.

"I have work to do."

"Aw, well, what about after?" He asked. Sunny didn't want to do that either.

"I'm busy."

"Doing what?"

"Work." She told him as she flipped through a few pages of the ledger, looking for the Captain's name as Miss Pins took down details of what he wanted. Sunny glanced at the boy again. He was leaning on the counter, grinning at her. What was with boys her age? Why were so many of them dumb? She found the Captain's name. "I have a boyfriend."

"Oh really?" He grinned. "Where is he? I bet he's some wimpy Marine."

Sunny shot him a look. "He's a pirate. Now if you're done bothering me I have things to do."

She walked away after that, not bothering to look behind her as she went to the backroom. Why did she say she had a boyfriend? Nothing was official with her and Buggy, they... They were just friends. Friends who liked each other. He was a friend who she held hands with and kissed his cheek and she was wondering if she was falling in love with him.

Ohhh she wished Buggy would show up and scare the boy off. She didn't want to deal with this for a week.

~

He showed up the next day nearing the end of her shift and Sunny ignored him. He even introduced himself, saying his name was Shanks. She intentionally didn't tell him her name but when one of Miss Pins' assistants called for her, it was all over. The dumb boy knew her name now.

"Wanna get some food when you're done for the day?" Shanks asked with a grin. "I bet you know all the best places to eat."

"No." She told him firmly. "I'm not interested."

"Aw, c'mon, we can just be friends! It doesn't have to be a date!" He insisted. Sunny rolled her eyes.

"I'm not interested in being friends either!" She told him. "Besides, my boyfriend could show up any minute. I would rather spend time with him, got it?"

"Where's your boyfriend then?"

"I told you, he's a pirate."

"And? What's his name?" Shanks grinned. "Maybe I've met him."

Sunny looked over at him with a frown. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell him Buggy's name, but at the same time she didn't want him to know more than he had to. She sighed.

"His name is Buggy."

The look on Shanks' face was of shock, confusion, and sadness, one after the other. Sunny had never seen someone change expressions that fast. The boy leaned on the table, smiling half heartedly at her.

"Blue hair? Red nose?"

Sunny blinked and nodded. "Yea."

"How's he doing? We used to be on the same crew."

Sunny looked surprised. "Really?" She paused, thinking back to when she first met Buggy, how hurt he had been. He only told her so much, about losing his captain, his friend, and his sister so quickly. He never mentioned names but she wondered if Shanks was the friend he referred to.

"He's doing well. I see him every few months." Sunny told him. "I last saw him a few months ago. He's smiling more."

"Yea? I'm glad." He grinned. "So, he got himself a girlfriend. That's something I didn't expect."

Sunny felt her face grow warm. "Okay, I may have lied a little bit. We... Aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. I just said that to have you back off."

"Ohhh, so what you're saying is you're single?" He grinned.

"N-No! We-We still spend time together when he visits and- and you know, if I tell you to leave me alone you should just do it, you pest!"

"I'm just being friendly!" He laughed. Sunny huffed in annoyance. "So, you two kiss yet?"

"Excuse me?!" Sunny turned red. "What is wrong with you? Why would you ask that?!"

"I'm just curious what he's been up to! I don't know if I believe a pretty girl like you would be friends with Buggy."

"Well we are, okay?! For a year!" She shot back, turning redder. This boy was getting under her skin. Normally something like this didn't bother her but he certainly was. "And I care a lot about him even if we aren't dating."

"So are you going to kiss him?" Shanks grinned. Sunny covered her face with her hands and shook her head.

"Why are you asking me that?! I don't even know how he feels about me!"

"Aw, I bet he likes you." Shanks reached out for her and she started to take a step back. "That necklace you got on. Did he give it to you?"

"Y-Yes." Sunny told him as she touched it. It was a little too clunky to wear sometimes but Sunny liked the weight of it. The pedant was a locket, the design on the front of some kind of sea king. Buggy said he found it and wanted her to have it. He didn't have a picture of himself to put inside it so he just wrote his name on a piece of paper and stuck it inside.

"See, the Buggy I know wouldn't normally let go of fancy things like that, but I'm betting after a year he's changed." Shanks grinned. "He must like you if he gives you things like that."

"You think so?" Sunny lifted the pendant up to look at it. "Really?"

"Yea! So you should definitely kiss him next time you see him." Shanna insisted. "Let him know you're serious! He's probably too scared to say anything. He's never had a girl as pretty as you around him."

Sunny wasn't sure if he was trying to flirt with her while also encouraging her to date his old friend. Maybe she should tell Buggy how she felt. If he didn't feel the same way then fine, she just would be sure not to be in the shop any time after that. But if he did...

"What do I even say to him?" She asked Shanks. "I've never done this before."

"As far as I know he hasn't either." Shanks told her. "And you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen and I bet you he thinks the same, so next time you see him just give him a kiss and see what happens."

That seemed... Like an okay plan. Sunny just wasn't sure when she'd see Buggy again.

[youremyheaven]

Princess here. Hey babe how are you?

I feel like you're the only anon left here 🤭🤣

I currently have a slight cold and feel a bit out of it but I'm going to use this opportunity to do a bit of an inventory for 2024 as it is the end of the year. If anyone's interested, you can do the same and drop me askszz

Things I did in 2024:

1. Moved away from the place I lived in for 8 years 😭

2. Grew my hair down to my ass and then cut it chest length??? (My first haircut in like 3 years??)

Not all growth is meant to stay. Sometimes we grow in ways that help us protect ourselves during difficult circumstances but you can't live wearing your armour 24/7, so it's important to shed the layers we've accumulated every once in a while (me philosophising the heck out of my hairdresser telling me my hair is damaged and needs to lose length lmao 😭😂)

3. I cut off friendships I'd maintained for 8 ish years. Just because something has lasted a long time doesn't mean it has to stay. Especially if things aren't working out.

Don't tolerate disrespect and don't hold on just for the sake of it.

4. I went to therapy for 3-4 months and then I quit therapy

I needed it at that time but I'm also glad I quit when I did because I felt myself microanalysing everything through therapy speak and it wasn't healthy lol

5. I went back to my ex after 6 years and then it gave me the reality check I needed and I promptly left him

6. I dated someone who treated me like a princess but still somehow didn't respect me or value me lmao (yes, they exist)

7. A friend I had for a long ish time behaved inappropriately with me when he was drunk and despite having a gf, told me he thinks I'm hot etc etc this cemented my belief that men and women could perhaps never actually be friends

8. I started abusing substances after being sexually abused.

I never thought I'd have a substance addiction era bc that's sooo not me like no one would ever think I was a chainsmoker but that was the lowest point of my life this year. I didn't brush, shower, eat or even get out of bed for weeks. I stayed high and drunk bc I felt so unsafe in my body and was dissociating severely. I'm so glad to have recovered from it and move past it and to have had someone in my life who held my hand through that journey bc it was messy asf and I have sooo much compassion for people who stay stuck in that loop for years and lose so much of their time, like I completely get how easy it is to lose yourself entirely

9. Adult relationships are so different??

I wish I had been in a relationship in my early 20s or when I was in college so that I could get a little bit of a crash course on this stuff and not feel so overwhelmed by expectations bc im already 24 and things start getting serious at this age 😭😭

But I'm also glad I stayed single throughout college bc it really helped me solidify my own identity and understand who I am, what I want and what I expect. I think 18-22 are very personality cementing years and I'm kinda glad that my personality wasn't shaped by a romantic relationship even if I was madly in love with someone all those years (unrequited, one sided stuff). The act of being in love with someone unconditionally like that has perhaps altered me in ways I can't even express but I'm glad there's no trauma or drama to recall from that experience

10. What someone tells you when they're angry is exactly what they've been thinking of all this while.

11. I make my own money??? And pay my own bills??? And I have a job that I like??

12. You don't know a person until you live with them. Don't ever marry anyone you haven't lived with 🫡🫡

13. Sex is nothing special without love

14. Had really good sex and really bad sex

15. Met new people, made new friends

16. I modelled??? I've done a couple of photoshoots now??

17. Had ₹80 left in my bank account and still somehow survived

18. I learnt to cook and I loveeee to cook now

19. I got a tattoo!!!

20. I got many more piercings

21. I resolved a 1.5 year long "crush" twin flame esque situation I had with a guy

22. I travelled 💛

23. Built a new identity for myself 🫡

24. Restarted my creative journey

25. Lost touch with myself and then now I'm finally going home to me

[snarkylinda]

And when dawn came

I decided to take a shot at @imagining-in-the-margins's New Beginnings writing challenge loosely based around the "characters are getting the hang of being a new parent prompt"; and I say loseely because it's more about the before with a little bit of after sparkled on it lmao anyways I hope y'all like this cause I am new at writing challenges. ❤️

Summary: Spencer calls Emily the night that Cat has the baby he decided to adopt.

Content Warning: discussions of PTSD and anxiety caused by it, general mental instability, mention of sexual assault (the possibility, but it didn't happen), mention of the foster system. Please tell me if I miss anything ❤️

Word Count: 4.4k

AO3 ver.

It was a stormy night when Emily received the call she had been expecting for a while- just for the reasons she would have never imagined.

“Emily” Spencer’s voice was muffled- shaky and slightly out of breath. But oddly firm. He sounded like a man on a mission in the middle of a tropical storm- which he might as well be considering the weather and the fact that he was calling from a payphone. Outside.

“Spence, what the hell-“ Her eyes found her bedside clock- 1 a.m “Why are you calling this? Screw that- why are you outside at this hour?!” She poured all of the annoyance she could muster at her tone but the thinly veiled concern was creeping in without her permission. Emily hated to admit it, but the absolute trust she had in Spencer being able to take care of himself had evaporated the moment Mexico happened. Even before that, there was this lingering, collective fear that the resident genius would succumb to either his drug of choice or a psychotic episode…maybe both, and all the indications they would have of it would be a phone call- either by himself done in a moment of desperate clarity or by an EMT.

The older he got thought, the more those not totally unfounded fears were allowed to blur in as one of the many possible horrible things that could happen to either of them in or out of the job….

And then Mexico happened. And he was high again. And then Millburn happened. And Emily started to question every day if his pysche would truly survive unscathed….

Survive it did- unscathed? Well…. It had been a little over 6 months since his release, about 4 since he was reinstated at the team, and there has yet to be a single day where Emily didn’t see him zooming out on his paperwork or constantly watching over his shoulder- and everyone on the team, even the most recent additions, were very aware of why he took so many “bathroom breaks” lately.

To fall apart in private.

So now, as Emily heard the rapid breathing on the other side of the phone, along with the occasional sniff, she started to seriously consider calling 9-1-1. Suddenly, sleep was no longer of importance “Hey, what is wrong? Take a deep breath, and tell me what happened.”

“I need your help with something.” Came from the other side, firmer than she would have expected too, but she could already see him in her mind eye, trying to control an upcoming anxiety attack with practiced self-soothing techniques that are subtle enough for the untrained eye to not really notice and for the rest of the team to pretend they don’t see it.

“Ok.” Emily’s response was sharp and poignant. She needed to know why the hell her clearly mentally unstable friend’s deal was, immediately, but knew better than to make Spencer feel cornered, so she waited for him to put his racing thoughts in order.

At long last, he did- but it wasn’t what she was expecting to hear- not tonight, not in a millon years.

“Cat entered labor an hour ago, I want to be there. Would you come with me?”

Silence.

And then….

“What?” It wasn’t the most articulate response ever but in her defense, it was 1 am and her best friend was losing his mind.

Or already lost it.

“She made Lionel Wilkins impregnate her 8 months ago- and uh- pretended it was mine, to manipulate me. Remember?” How could Emily forget? Sure, what happened immediately after was an even bigger shock to her personally, and even to the whole team, but even then there was this little, quilty voice at the back of their heads that resonated with how absolutely messed up everything was before that. How messed up everything was.

´To manipulate me´

Was it working?

“Emily?”

“How do you know she is going into labor, Spencer?” Her voice was tight, clipped. She was doing everything in her power to keep the accusatory tone off, but it was hard. She knew Spencer, she knew he had this weird obsession with knowing everything and anything was beyond simple scientific curiosity-

It was a survival instinct.

So him keeping taps on Cat Adams wasn’t a surprise- if not a bit…. hypervigilantly…

“I….asked Garcia to keep tabs on her in case she tried anything or….if she went into labor.”

If, not when. Everyone had assumed she would get rid of the fetus shortly after her plan backfired.

“Spence-“

“It’s not- it’s not obsession Emily, I just needed to know- I need to know what happened to me, and why, you know this.” There it was, that spike of defensiveness she had grown to know so well. If albeit, a bit less fiery and more….drained. Exhausted. And it wasn’t because of the obvious sleepless nights either.

“A sadistic bitch got obsessed with you and she got the perfect chance to pull a whole scheme, but we defeated her. That is everything there is to it.”

“You know is not.”

“This not about her Em, it’s about….” A pause “We never thought she would actually have the baby”

“Sounds to me like you had thought about it.” Emily sighed, rubbing her forehead. J.J. told her she had the suspicion that, even though the unborn baby was -thankfully- not related to Spencer, he wouldn’t be apathetic towards it when -if- it was born, regardless of the fact he would rather do anything else than see Catherine again.

“…Yes.”  He admitted, knowing that doing laps around the subject would help nobody. Emily had already figured him out, anyways “And my mind is made- don’t try to change it, please. I made this decision months ago….I had some time to think.”  It’s amazing how much free time the average person could have when they skip the whole sleeping thing as much as humanly possible.

“What bureaucratic bullshit do you want me to brush over?” she quipped, her phone now resting between her ear and shoulder as she put her coat on. A scoff at the other side made her lips curl up a bit- it wasn’t quite a smile, not yet, but her features and shoulders relaxed sightly; anything was better than hearing her best friend fighting tears- she had more than enough of that forged at her memory already.

“Don’t worry, this is completely legal-…ish. Cat didn’t have any known family that would accept and the social worker I spoke to would rather not bring a baby with that background to the foster system- wouldn’t be the easiest to get adopted. So I just had to pass a psychological test-“ That he cheated on “-an home inspection-“ once the security tape was removed and the blood was cleaned from his floor “-and the fact that I am currently jobless didn’t faze her as much after I showed her a mail of Yale and Harvard fighting for my love.”

Emily did laugh at that, her hand hovering over the doorknob as she allowed herself to truly take in the implications of…everything, especially the last bit.

As right now, Spencer was no longer her subordinate; her colleague.

Her mind flashed to a conversation she had with him a lifetime ago, over the phone just like now, when the distance between them was way wider than just a couple of streets. When she had tried -and failed- to convince him to get out of his self-imposed insolation, to let their friends in a way she couldn’t be, since her spot in London.

”I loved her Em, I know- I know it wasn’t conventional-“

 “That doesn’t matter, ok Spence? What matters is how she made you feel- God, I am so sorry…”

“You asked me…..if I wanted to have children. When J.J was expecting Henry”

“Yeah, I remember that-“

“I did. I would have traded this job in a second if I had the chance. Maybe settled down, teaching- I am not- I am not the best public speaker but….I would have liked to be there for them”

“You still can.”

“No, I can’t. That fantasy died with her”

Emily remembered the cheer panic -not unlike tonight’s- she felt the moment the other line went dead after that statement, sending their friends a collective text to keep her tabbed, and being so relieved when Penelope texted that Spencer was not longer locking them out of his trashed apartment and avoiding any and all communication after two long weeks of it.

She didn’t tell anyone of their conversation- she knew he was in a bad state of mind to open up like that to her, and respected his wish for privacy, although heavily encouraged to talk to the others about the grief and quilt that still kept his shattered heart onto a tight grip. Ironically enough, the only thing that kept the pieces together.

5 years later, a different kind of grief clenched it and it wasn’t doing a very good job as some bits had escaped their clutch and stabbed his insides at the regular But at long last, she could see something else putting little band-aids over the cuts-

Hope.

“So you don’t need me pressuring whatever social worker steps in the way? Where is the fun at that.” Emily finally spoke, wiping eyes that were becoming mistier by the second “Might I ask why I need to be the one to get out of bed in the middle of the night? J.J is the one that awoke your maternal instincts.” She was already inside of her car.

“For one, I knew you didn’t have company-“ Ok, rude. And the worst part is that he was right… “-and I thought you would like to meet your goddaughter first.”

Oh, she was on full crying now, cool. “What?”

“Surprised?” His smile was so wide and bright it could be heard through the phone.

“Yeah! I mean- you are the boys’s godfather so I thought that J.J- or maybe Penelope since you guys ´co-godparent´- and you met them first and had known them for the longest so I thought-“ She trailed off, overcome with emotion and grateful that the streets were empty. Emily was sure that having this many overwhelmed feelings at once while driving was some kind of street safety hazard.

“Well- I thought about that as well, I truly didn’t want to let anyone out- so I asked Morgan for advice and-“

“Hold on, Derek already knows you are taking Cat’s baby? I already know he had thoughts about it.” After weeks of prodding, Spencer had confessed that even though he felt immensely relieved that Lindsay didn’t actually assault him…he still felt extremely violated. Could feel Cat’s unwanted hands on his torso as she took away his gun out of his waistband in their first meeting, her whole weight as she sat on his lap in that interrogation room, knowing that pushing her off could get his mother killed-

And the knowledge that, if Cat had yet to full-take his body, it wasn’t because she didn’t want to, but because physically she was unable to.

He had ended up confessing everything to the man who he knew would understand this better than anyone else over the phone after throwing every meal he had ever gotten out, not even caring over the fact he was openly sobbing over the bullpen’s toilet, nor the fact that  Derek was hearing everything and more over the phone, nor the fact that Emily was witnessing it from her spot by his side as she awkwardly rubbed his back- he had been so absolutely out of it she remembers the first time he said after -literally and figuratively- spilling his guts out was asking what she was doing on the men’s bathroom. Truly someone who should be trusted with two guns.

Needless to say, Cat wasn’t someone Derek held in high esteem.

“Of course he did- but he respected and supported my wishes” A pause “After I told him he would be the godfather- anyways, he told me that when thinking of who should have become Hank's godparents he thought of who, and I quote "saved his ass in more than one occasion and would bail him out of jail if the time came" so yeah, I thought it was a good enough method so- yeah, you quite literally bailed me out of jail so- J.J and Penelope will understand.”

Oh, he took the last part literally.  “Oh my God, I will co-godparent with Morgan- if anything happens to you I will move to Chicago and raise baby Reid with them. I can already see the shenanigans inssuing”  Emily’s sarcastic tone didn’t match her bright, wet eyes nor the wide smile on her face; somehow, she knew Spencer looked about the same on the other side of the call.

"Why are you writing me off so fast?" Spencer shook his head, his wet locks all over his eyes and while that would normally bother him, his mind was too occupied with the possibilities- for the first time in months, he had his sight in the future instead of dreading it or downright writing it off. The panic his shell-shocked soul went through when he heard the name of his worst most recent nightmare over the phone was slowly turning into a different kind of panic. He knew he wasn't ready to face her again, not yet. The adrenaline that had given him the strength to do so six months ago had faded entirely and left an even rawer open wound.  

He knew he would see her again- now a part of her was part of him, it was unavoidable- but he would rather wait a little for the flesh wound to, at very least, grow a scalp.

"You feeling ok?" Emily had to ask once the amicable, unstable banter and watery laughter had died down to a weary silence. 

"Overwhelmed I guess.... I just can't believe I am doing this.... it is bad I can't wait to snatch a newborn out of her mother's arms? Hell, she won't ever get to hold her- I spoke to the nurse of her....past, and now that she knows I will be the one to take her baby, well...."

"She can hurt her to get to you. You made the right call, Spencer" Emily murmured, turning the wheel as her eyes caught onto the lone figure of her best friend, bending over a payphone way too small for him. She was thankful she brought a towel with her- the alleged genius was soaking. And shivering. Though she had her doubts that the reason behind his visible quivering was just the cold. As she opened the door and gave him the biggest smile she could muster, she couldn't help the excitement that slowly blossomed in her gut. "Come on, genius. Let's meet my goddaughter."

_____

The towel was functioning like a shock blanket at this point. A soft layer of protection and comfort that covered a very anxious Spencer's shoulders as he had his eyes glued to his shaking, fidgeting hands. Emily reentered the waiting room carrying their second batch of coffees, and sighted as she noticed the way he frantically looked over his shoulder before restarting his staring competition with the floor. She had been worried Cat wasn't the only trigger pulling at his unstable pysche.

They were in the heart of a federal prison, mere meters away from the actual cells.

She was sure Spencer was wearing a tie before she left.

"I brought you decaf- you are already anxious enough." She placed his cup by his side, earning a scoff.

"You know caffeine has no effect on me anymore"

"Why did you drink our entire budget on longer cases, then?"

"Placebo effect." Spencer shrugged, but took a sip of his very boring drink anyways. His eyes were fixated on his cup as he spoke again "Did they tell you anything?"

Emily bit her lower lip, her hands tightening around her own cooling beverage. She had used the excuse of searching for coffee to have an actual glimpse of what was happening in the room next to them- the birth itself was fairly standard considering the circumstances. The only thing that stood up to her was what she couldn't tell Spencer-

Catherine, despite the pain and exertion of labor, was smirking the moment she noticed Emily's presence.

"Tell him I said hi", she had mouthed between contractions.

"It....might take a bit more. She is not fully dilated yet" Was what Emily said. 

"Oh, ok...." was Spencer's reply. Emily had worded her response as a carefully planted trigger for a long-winded rant about anything and everything about the process of giving birth- and yet, here he was, a ball of nerves and what she could deduce was the start of acute depression. It was easier to see when they weren't in the middle of a crisis.

It was truly starting to settle in that on Monday, his desk would be empty.

"I am sorry for...not telling you earlier. I know you'll have a lot to do, finding my replacement-"

At that, Emily had to snort "As if I could ever find anyone that could replace you regardless. But I agree it would have been nice to be prepared. We could have thrown a goodbye party- we still will by the way."

"That sounds nice" The corners of his mouth twitched- it wasn't quite a smile, but close enough. "I'll still stay here, by the way. Mom is adapting well to the new center she is and, well, um-" His voice cracked a bit at the last bit "I don't want to be away from you guys- even if we won't see each other nearly as much."

"Yeah... yeah... you know what, Spence?" At that, he turned toward her, eyebrows raised in a silent question. "I am proud of you."

"Even when I dragged you out of bed at 1:20 a.m because I wanted to take in my worst nightmare's daughter but couldn't go the full route without a nervous breakdown?" His quip came out more snappy than he wanted it to but he couldn't help it- the last time Emily said that was the last day he had as a free, mentally sound-ish man. Spencer didn't believe in bad luck- but he sure did believe in triggers, and even after tossing his tie off he still felt suffocated so it wasn't very appreciated.

Emily, however, was not even fazed by the outburst. She was expecting it. "I am serious, Spencer. You are doing something that takes a tremendous amount of strength. And the fact you called me because you knew you needed help, well, you are the one with the Eidetic Memory, fill in the blanks- and don't focus on the after, just the fact"

"It takes a tremendous amount of strength to care for family, and even more to ask for help."

Family.

"Oh my God...." Finally, after hours of trying to not break -too much- Spencer couldn't suppress the tears that built in his eyes already reddened eyes as the realization of why he was here, why he dragged his friend out of bed, why everything felt like too damn much-

He was going to become a father.

He had been thinking about this for months- he ever had a little room ready for the newborn, but he had been told to keep his expectations low. That this still was a fetus growing in a high-security prison, he of all people was acutely aware of everything that could go wrong in there, his ribs still ached from the times he was used as a punching bag.

And yet, here they were. 

"Yes, oh my God indeed" Emily chuckled, her own eyes far from wet for the second, but without a doubt, not the last time of the night as she grabbed Spencer hands shaking and held them in hers, letting him lay his head on her shoulders as a shockwave of awe, expectation, anxiety and joy filled his quivering form.

That was how the nurse greeted them a couple of hours later, a bright smile on her face. 

Phoebe Diana Reid was born on November 4th, 2018. 7:32 a.m. She weighed 6 pounds. 

She was absolutely perfect.

So perfect, in fact, that her adopted father had surprised his best friend by letting her mother see her before they left the prison. 

For a split second, he saw something in Cat's eyes- something akin to longing.

For a split second, he felt something akin to pity.

"Don't worry... I'll do my best so she doesn't end up like you."

"I am sure you will, Spencie, I am sure you will."

That was the last time they saw each other. 

_____

Emily decided to visit her ex-subordinate for the first time since they came back with little Phoebe. It has been a few busy months for the BAU- Spencer Reid's absence was more felt than ever, its permanency slowly sinking in. It was depressing to see his empty desk every morning, but they all knew it was for the better.

Spencer messaged them every day anyway. His aversion to technology pushed to the back when it came to showing them the very important moment of Phoeby raising her head, along with three paraphrases explaining why it mattered.

 Neither of them complained, she truly was adorable and his disjointed ramblings could be summarized as "look at my baby right now, she is awesome."

Emily shook her head at the latest pic he sent- it was of Phoebe laying on a fluffy, blue blanket -a present from J.J- next to her father as he was re-organizing the newest bookshelf in his room, filled with all sorts of fairytales and other children books for the infant that didn't even know of her own existence- lucky her.

 "Spence? It's me, Emily. Stop planning for Phoebe's future in Cambridge and open the door." 

Soon enough she heard the clicking behind all the chains that had to be undone to enter the Reid household and sighted. That was...another thing.

Before prison, Spencer only felt that he needed his gun in the field, when he wanted to make himself useful... after it, it had become a compulsive need to keep himself safe, to have some semblance of control in his life. That was how one service weapon became two. And now that he was no longer in law enforcement the two became zero. With nothing to protect his newborn but his wit and the closest blunt object he could get a hold of, and lingering PSDT, his door was now filled with all sorts of lockers and blockers that not even a forceful tackle could bug. A special present from Derek.

Whenever it was to appease Spencer's paranoia or his own it was a mystery, but everyone seemed happy regardless. 

Finally, the fire hazard opened as Spencer's big, exhausted eyes met hers. Having a baby and sleeping enough was never compatible with a normal person, let alone someone who had looked like an anemic raccoon since his 20s. "Emily? What are you doing here?"

"It's my free day so- I guess I decided to pass by and see how things are going." She stated as he stepped back and allowed her into his apartment. Turn out that it didn't have to be as "baby-proof" as she originally thought. Spencer had always thought about his place of rest as something that should be safe for vulnerable people- of course, when he designed it like he was thinking of his mother, rather than his child, but one of the very few perks of parentification is that you are pretty much a caretaker before puberty, so he was sort of ready for it. "Where is Phoebe?"

"On my room- and for your info, Cambridge is not in the life plan- I don't have contacts in Europe" Spencer pouted, already on a purposeful quest for the light of his eyes.

"Oh, but I do." Emily shrugged, sitting on the surprisingly unused couch. She knew Spencer had a thing for falling asleep there, since it kept his sleep enough to limit the access to any dream whatsoever- but Phoebe didn't like he had to relent and lay on his bed like a normal human being. She might not be helping his sleeping schedule but she sure was doing his spine a service. 

"Look who is here? It's Auntie Emily!...even though you are barely conscious enough to recognize faces, let alone names. Oh but you are doing such a good job at that, yes you are." Spencer cooed, holding Phoebe close as she giggled and babbled, a stuffed cow in her little hands. "They start to recognize other's names by about 7 to 9 months but recognize theirs as early as 4 to 6. So technically, she already knows she has the cutest name ever." He explained, an excited, infectious grin on his face that Emily couldn't help but imitate.

"That is great Spence, hi little Phoebe. Oh you are so adorable with those-" Her grin vanished as her eyes registered what her one and only godchild was wearing "Spencer, why is my girl wearing a fuc- freaking Chewbacca pajama?"

The baby girl was, in fact, cladded in a furry, brow onesie. Spencer frowned, offended. "It's actually an Ewok, they are considerably smaller than Chewbacca and-"

"Just don't dress her up like that for school and we are good." Emily deadpanned, accepting a very eager Phoebe back in her arms "Hi sweetie, so you recognize your name now, huh?"  A sudden thought struck her as she made sure to keep her hair out of said baby's grabby hands "Hey Spence, I always wondered...why Phoebe? Like what is the story behind the name- because I know there is one."

At that, Spencer's eyes shone as he took his daughter's tiny hand in his, his thumb rubbing the back of it with much care and gentleness, before he spoke again "Phoebe means Bright or Radiant in Greek. Everytime I think of the months I spent locked in a dark hole, I see her and- while it doesn't make the feeling go away- it gives me a reason to actually try, you know? A radiant light in the darkest night...so to speak..,"

And that was enough for Emily.

[praetorqueenreyna]

2023 AO3 Year-End Fic Review

I found the AO3 review I had made last year and decided to fill it out for 2023! Answer all the questions yourself, then tag some friends!

What is your AO3 account?

I'm at LittleQueenTrashMouth on AO3!

2. How many words did you write total in 2023?

I wrote 69, 299 words in 2023 for 4 different fandoms! Well 3-4, since one fic was a crossover fic. Most of that was for ACOTAR, which is HILARIOUS considering last year I was so convinced that I was done with ACOTAR. I played myself. It's also way more words than I wrote the past few years, which is cool!

3. How many fics did you publish in 2023? How many multichapters vs oneshots?

I published 17 fics in 2023, 15 of which were for ACOTAR. 3 of those are multichapter, and the other 14 were oneshots.

4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest fic?

The longest fic CONTINUES to be my multichapter Tamlin/Lucien fic, lovely and lonely, which is now at 27,528 words and is ALMOST DONE. My longest oneshot is the Nesta/Eris fic, counterintelligence, which is at 4,446 words. The shortest fic I wrote last year was you up?, which is a modern AU Tamlin/Rhysand fic.

5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular fic?

My most popular fic was lovely and lonely, which is now at 2,044 hits and 107 kudos!! My least popular fic was the Tamlin/Briar fic Come, my drifting flower, which is at 29 hits and 5 kudos. But TO BE FAIR all the fics I wrote for my gift exchanges are at the bottom of the list for hits/kudos, because they were only published like a week ago!! So the least popular fic that has been online for over a month is my Eris Week fic Concession Strategy, which is at 168 hits and 11 kudos. BUT ACTUALLY I'm realizing now that somebody put the fic in a secret collection so nobody has been able to read it in months lmao. So my REAL ACTUAL least popular fic is the Tamlin/Amarantha fic obsessed with you, at 226 hits and 17 kudos.

6. What fic didn't perform as well as you thought it would?

I feel like I've answered this before lmao but ANYWAY I thought a knife for every heart would perform a little better. It's been up since March and has 143 hits. I guess people don't want to read about Lestat and the Corinthian fucking nasty.

7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would?

ALREADY my Nesta/Eris ACOTAR secret santa fic soare cu dinți is performing way better than expected! It was posted just a couple weeks ago and already has 262 hits, which is PRETTY GOOD for an ACOTAR rarepair! In general I've found that Neris fandom fucking SHOWS UP when you write them fic, which is awesome!!!

8. What was your favorite fic you wrote in 2023?

LMAO my favorite fic this year continues to be my Yellowjackets fic, Lagomorpha. idk I just love writing body horror and psychosexual tension and learning about how fucked up rabbits are. I also just LOVE Shauna, I'd really like to write more from her POV in the future!!!

9. What was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2023?

OKAY LISTEN!!!! yall are very talented but really stood no chance against @goforth-ladymidnight's Tamcien fic A Second Chance. Seriously, if you haven't read this fic, GO READ IT RIGHT NOW!!! IT'S AMAZING!!! LIFE CHANGING!!!! EARTH SHATTERING!!!

10. Tag your friends to have them do this year-end fic review as well!!

OKIE I TAG PEOPLE!!! if you see this and I don't tag you, please fill it out!!

@queercontrarian @northern-star-polaris @riote @thevanserrras @foxcort @goforth-ladymidnight @andrigyn @looseleaflettuce @isterofimias @drowning-in-cacophony

[the-cult-of-russo]

Just Beneath The Flames (Part 8)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: cursing, smut at some point probably lmao, zombie shit, typical canon violence. You know the drill.

A/N: I’ve only just finished writing chapter 9 of this story and it’s been like pulling teeth with how unwell I am. B12 anemia is no joke lmao I’ll be posting it tomorrow obviously, but I’m not sure if chapter 10 will be done in time for the day after or not. It depends on how inspired I am and how I’m feeling. 

That being said, thank you to those that are still enjoying the story!

—-----------------

The sun was only just rising and you pulled your jacket tighter around yourself as you leaned against a tree just outside of Frank’s camp. You weren’t sure if winter had started, and you hoped it hadn’t, or if you were on the cusp of it. Either way, it was starting to get a little too cold for your liking. The camp not too far away was silent and you knew they were asleep. If you had to hazard a guess, you thought it might be around 6 or 7 am, but you really had no idea. You knew not everyone in the camp would be asleep, they took watch shifts over the night to make sure they didn’t get caught with their pants down. That was one thing you missed about being in a group. There was a safety that came with knowing people were keeping an eye out when you slept. It was harder to get a good night's sleep when you were on high alert, having to be ready for anything with no one to watch your back. You waited for about five minutes before Billy sauntered through the trees. He looked a little more rumpled than usual, clearly not having time to style his hair. You’d mocked him once about him having perfect hair, even in the apocalypse and he’d given you a smirk and the line; ‘Hey, the world mighta gone to shit, but it don’t mean my looks have to’. You really hadn’t expected any different from him. This morning though he seemed to be up earlier so his hair was slightly disheveled. He had on a forest green sweater and a leather jacket pulled over it, his usual jeans and boots on. 

“Ready?” you asked, eyeing the bow in his hand. You’d left yours back at the treehouse and you felt like you’d left your pants at home or something, it was weird. You’d been using it a lot more recently, with all the hunting you’d been doing but you’d also been going on more runs with the guys. It had been a little over a week since the whole ‘almost getting set on fire’ fiasco with Karen and you’d been more than happy every time Billy asked you if you wanted to join him on a run as they stocked up for the colder months. Karen had even been on some too, Frank by her side of course, but even you could see a difference in her. She seemed so much lighter having more freedom like that, even if Frank hovered over her like a worried mother the entire time. And luckily, no one else had tried to kill you while you were out so you started to feel a little bit better about the whole thing. Billy nodded at you and you both started walking away from the camp.

“You’re sleepy today,” you mused with a teasing smile as you glanced at him. He wasn’t usually like this. You knew he could run on little sleep, he’d told you it was something he picked up in the Marines. 

“Had watch last night,” he murmured, blinking rapidly as if to wake himself up a little. You stopped walking and gave him a look.

“Billy…” you started with a firm tone and he tilted his head at you.

“Y/N…” he mimicked your tone, a sly smirk spreading on his lips that told you he might be waking up a little and you squinted at him.

“You didn’t tell me you had watch. You can’t hunt with no sleep,” you huffed. The day before you’d agreed to take him hunting, or more accurately, you’d agreed to show him where you’ve been finding the deer so he could hunt. But he hadn’t mentioned anything about having watch last night or you would have suggested tomorrow instead. Sleep was a precious commodity now and those who took the night shift, usually slept in the morning so they at least got some sleep. 

“Watch me,” was his defiant reply, smirk still in place before he continued walking. You rolled your eyes so hard you thought they might stay up there before catching up to him. 

You wound up in the general area you’d been finding deer and just hung back, letting Billy do the work. He’d not bagged a deer yet but you knew he really wanted to, hating every time you did like it was easy. You never really set out to find a deer though, it usually happened by luck. You had a feeling to Billy, this was more of a manly ego thing and he’d assured you in the past that he knew how to track so you wouldn't get in his way. It was odd to be the one tagging along for a change and not hunting. You had to admit that while you felt a pang of sadness every time you killed an animal, it did have a primal satisfying feeling to it, your animalistic human nature coming to the forefront. And it had only intensified since you no longer hunted just for yourself. It filled you with pride every time you were able to bring something good back to the camp and you guessed that was the feeling Billy was chasing. You stayed silent as he walked around, stopping and crouching to examine the tracks every now and again. You knew from looking yourself that a deer was recently here and you hoped he’d find one. The silence between you was kind of weird. Usually your time with Billy was full of chatter, small talk or banter. The man didn’t know how to shut up sometimes but you loved it. You’d been alone for so long and it had been an adjustment going back to having to interact with people and it made it easier when the other person initiated the conversations. But now, you were both silent as not to spook any deer that could be around. You trailed behind him, your footfalls soft and quiet when you heard a groan. Both you and Billy glanced back and you saw a roamer stumbling towards you and you heaved a sigh, annoyed that it might scare off the deer. You nodded to Billy to keep going before you walked over to the dead one, grabbing the front of its shirt to drag it closer before you rammed your knife into its eye. You pulled it back out with a sickly squelch and it fell limp on the floor. You really hoped there wouldn't be others around. You quickly turned around and moved to catch up with Billy, seeing him standing still between some trees with his bow poised. You stopped dead as you saw the deer, almost like a statue so you didn’t scare it away. You watched intently as Billy lined up his shot, blowing out a slow and steady breath before his arrow went soaring into the deer. He got a good kill shot and the deer only made it two steps before it died. You were glad and you were impressed. You knew he was good with his guns and knives but you’d never seen him use his bow before. You’d admit it was a little hot. 

He turned around, a wide and smug grin on his face as he looked at you with his dark eyes.

“Told you I could do it,” he smirked and you snorted, rolling your eyes. 

“I didn’t doubt you for a second,” you grinned cheekily at him, making him scoff with a smile. He looked radiant with his pride as he sauntered over to the deer and tied it up before hauling it over his shoulders and you started your trek back to your place where you’d prep it. 

“So… if I’m Artemis, who are you?” you asked half way through the walk, glancing to him.

“I’m Blackbird,” he snorted like it was obvious and you gave him a look.

“I’m talking about Greek Gods, dumbass,” you muttered and he gaped at you for a second before a laugh fell from his lips. 

“Oh, is that right, dumbass?” he asked with a playful look and you grinned.

“I think you’d be Ares,” you mused thoughtfully and his lips quirked up a little at your words.

“The God of war,” he murmured, shrugging a little.

“And courage,” you added, flashing him a smile when he looked at you. He smiled and it looked slightly bashful as he looked away.

“I can live with that,” he uttered, peering at you with a smile. When you got back to your tree, he plonked the deer on the floor under it where you usually prepped the meat. He sat down and you followed suit, sitting beside him as he started to prep it. You decided to sharpen your knife while he worked, not wanting to just sit there and do nothing. 

“You comin’ tomorrow?” he asked, looking at you curiously. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there. An extra pair of hands never hurt, right?” you asked ruefully and he grinned. Some of the guys would be going on another run the day after. They needed gas and Billy suggested the highway from hell where those assholes had taken the van. There seemed to be a lot of gas there and you remembered how many supplies you found in the cars and you’d barely even gone through any of them. It would be a good scavenge and with more of you going, it was less likely something bad would happen. You liked how Billy would always include you in on things, always invite you. He knew how restless you got and he was making sure you didn’t have to deal with it much. 

“Just make sure you get some sleep this time. You might be a good shot but I can’t imagine you’d be any good on two days of no sleep,” you murmured wryly and a smirk curled his lips.

“You’re real bossy, you know that?” he grinned and you huffed, glaring at him but with no real malice.

“I’m the bossy one? Really?” you asked plainly and it only made his grin widen. 

“And you’re a little mean too,” he muttered, faking a put out face. 

“Aw, you gonna go tell Frankie on me?” you asked mockingly. He gaped at you, a shocked smile playing on his lips.

“Nah, you know what? I’m gonna tell Karen,” he smirked mischievously.

"I always knew Karen was the one to be scared of,” you muttered and he snorted at you.

You both sat there playfully bantering with one another until the deer was prepped and you helped him salt it and put it into bags. Since you rarely had dinner by yourself these days, you didn’t bother taking any of the meat he offered you. It felt pointless as you both knew you’d be eating with his camp. He seemed to have a pep in his step as you both walked back and the closer he got, the shit eating smile on his face only seemed to widen. You knew exactly how this was going to go and Billy proved you right the second he walked into camp.

“Guess who bagged a deer, assholes!” he called out gleefully, all eyes turning to him. Leo covered her mouth with a smile at his cursing as Sarah gave him a look.

“You did?” Zach asked with a smile.

“You bet I did,” Billy smirked and Zach came over to him,

“Uncle Billy is so cool!” he gushed, looking like he was facing his hero and it made you smile a bit. 

“Damn right I am, little man,” Billy grinned, high fiving him. 

“Wow, you’re so smug about it,” Karen murmured with an amused look on her face and Billy turned to her with a raised brow.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Can’t a man be proud he bagged a deer. Don’t you know what it means in this economy?” he asked with a patronizing smile and Frank snorted. 

“Yeah… you finally got a deer after how long of tryin'? I mean, Y/N bagged two deers before you and she probably woulda got that one too but she let you have it. It’s a pity deer,” Frank said mockingly and Billy looked like someone just smacked him in the face, his jaw hanging open as his dark eyes bore into Frank who was grinning. 

“A pity deer?” Billy asked slowly, eyes narrowing to slits. 

“Woah, man. He’s calling your manliness into question,” Foggy commented but it was clear his tone was teasing yet Billy’s jaw tightened a little. You found the whole thing amusing. 

“You think I can’t get a deer on my own?” he asked accusingly and Frank was still grinning at him and you guessed he loved to push Billy’s buttons as much as you did.

“Well… you had to have Y/N show you where they were so…” he trailed off and you bit your lip to stifle your laugh as Billy’s right eye twitched. 

“The last time we had a fight, I put you on your ass in two seconds,” he commented condescendingly.

“I was already injured, man. Wasn’t a fair fight,” Frank shrugged. Billy glared at him before taking a deep inhale through his nose and shaking his head.

“You know what, no deer for you,” he said with a raised brow, pointing at his friend. 

“I think Y/N should get a say in that since it was technically her deer that she gave you,” Frank smirked and Billy looked ready to strangle him. Frank turned to you then and your lips curved into a smile.

“What you think, Y/N?” Frank asked, mischief twinking behind his eyes.

“Well… Honestly, I think you’re being really mean to Billy so I have to agree with him. He’s a very manly man and it’s unfair to try and say otherwise,” you teasing words made Frank bark out a laugh, yet despite your obvious playfulness, Billy grinned widely, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you to his side as he gave Frank a smug look.

“See, no deer for you,” he smirked. He didn’t mean it obviously and Frank got his deer just like everyone else after Karen cooked you all dinner. She was the one who cooked the most and you’d offered to help but not only was it not really a hard job, but she hated people trying to get involved and getting in her way. 

That night, you lay under your pile of blankets as you struggled to get to sleep. You thought that with you being so busy and going out to burn off your restless energy that you’d sleep better but for some reason, you’d been having trouble. You were fully clothed, even down to your boots, a habit you’d picked up when you were out on the road traveling by yourself so you could get out of situations easily without having to take the time to get dressed. You hadn’t been able to shake it, even with the safety of your treehouse. You wondered what it was that was keeping you awake, there were so many things it could be. Maybe it was a combination of all of them. You were worried about Sarah. She seemed fine enough right now and she wasn’t exactly new to being pregnant. You were concerned about the birth mostly though. Curtis would be the one to deliver the baby and he’d asked you if you’d help. You were a vet and sure you’d helped animals give birth before if they needed it, but this was different. Your worry about needing a c-section or her having a more complicated birth was only exacerbated with the knowledge that her previous kids had been born via c-section. The whole thing was stressing you out because no amount of preparing and getting supplies in would help if something unexpected got thrown yours and Curtis’ way since you weren’t obstetricians. There was also the added stress of the newborn phase and you weren’t quite sure what you were all supposed to do when the baby cried all the damn time to avoid the dead coming at you in swarms. You knew they had everything they needed, you and Karen had taken care of that and all the items were now safely locked away on the back of the black van as they weren’t needed just yet. You were still dealing with those confusing mixed feelings of being part of a group somewhat, having moments of blind panic when you realized how attached you were getting to people and the very real possibility they might die like everyone else you knew. Life was a lot easier for you when you had nothing to lose. So much stress came along with caring about people in a group. Another thing that had been playing on your mind was your brother Sam. You knew he would have loved Frank’s camp, he would have loved all of them. He’d probably have gotten on well with Micro as Sam was a computer nerd too. It made your chest ache to think about him and a bitterness flowed through your veins at the thought. It wasn’t fair that he wasn't here. Why did you get out alive and he didn’t? Why wasn’t he the one here right now, meeting Frank and Billy and everyone else? It felt wrong. The last thing keeping you awake was Billy. The more time you spent with him, the more you realized that your attachment to him was a lot different to the others. You found yourself watching him when he wasn't looking, admiring him no matter what he was doing. You’d smile to yourself if he was happy and smiling, finding a warmth blooming in your chest that you hadn’t felt since the old world. The idea of getting actual feelings for someone in this world was terrifying and you’d been trying to ignore acknowledging it like the plague because it wouldn’t do anyone any good. It was hard enough caring about people as friends without deeper feelings being involved and you knew you were being stupid. You weren’t quite sure just what it was about Billy that lured you in like a moth to a flame. Sure, he was attractive, stupidly ridiculously attractive, easily the most handsome man you’d ever laid eyes on. You knew it wasn’t just that though. You could deal with it if it was just a surface level crush, you wouldn't worry so much about him and that's what was bothering you. The worrying, the caring, the potential to be devastated if he died. Somewhere along the way, you’d bonded with him deeper than you’d bonded with the others and your brain had decided that meant you needed to catch feelings for him. You hated it and you hoped it would go away. 

You lay under your mountain of blankets, your eyes drifting to your backpack that was near the open doorway as you considered doing a crossword to pass the time. You’d found a crossword book on one of the runs you’d been on with the others and it had been useful to pass time when your mind wanted to wander down a dark park. But as you considered if you were too lazy to get up and get your bag, you heard a weird thumping noise and you tensed up. You wondered if it was the wind since it had been picking up in the night recently, maybe a branch was hitting the treehouse. But then movement at one of the open windows at the other end of the treehouse drew your eyes to it through the black darkness. You made out a silhouette climbing through the window and your whole body seized up. Maybe it was Billy paying you a visit, he’d never done it at night but it wasn’t like he could climb up the ladder since you always pulled it up when you were up here. But you knew you were being hopeful and stupid because Billy wouldn’t just turn up unannounced in the middle of the night and climb into your treehouse like this. And you knew you were right as you carefully looked at the shadow of a man who was shorter and wider than Billy. You didn’t move, not wanting them to know you were awake and your eyes darted to the knife you’d set over near your bag. You didn’t think you’d need to sleep with it strapped to you anymore but the false security of the treehouse had fooled you. The man crept towards your ‘bed’ and you could hear your heartbeat whooshing in your ears, but then it felt like it stopped all together when you saw the gun in his hand catch the moonlight. You jumped up, tackling him and catching him off guard. You pushed his arm up and the gun went off, the bullet going right through the roof as you tried to fight with him. He was bigger and stronger than you though and he tossed you to the floor across the treehouse and you groaned, refusing to go out without a fight. 

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” the man growled as he grabbed you by your shirt and yanked you up like a ragdoll.

“Fuck you,” you bit out ferociously as you kneed him in the nuts. He cried out with a curse and let you go as he cradled himself and dropped his gun. You swiped the knife from the floor, the pair of you near the doorway and he grabbed your shoulder, whirling you around. You used the momentum to swing your arm and your knife buried itself under his jaw and right through his head. His eyes went wide as he blinked at you, his mouth opening but nothing came out other than a garbled wet noise. You yanked your knife back out as you glared at him and blood poured from the wound. As he went limp, he fell out of the doorway, but as he’d been tangled with you, you ended up going with him, your boot catching the strap of your backpack. Your stomach flipped around like you were on a rollercoaster as you plummeted to the floor. The man landed with a thud, you landed on top of him and while it softened the blow, you heard a sickening crack come from your ribs. You gasped, pain radiating from your ribs outwards and you rolled off the now dead man onto your back. Each breath hurt and your eyes welled with pained tears. You were pretty sure you just cracked or broke a rib or two and your head hurt like a bitch after cracking into him with the fall. The pain made you feel dizzy and you struggled to get to your feet, knowing you had to get out of there. The last thing you expected was for someone to turn up where you slept to try and kill you and through the shock, you felt the bitter sting of stupidity eat at you. You were a fool to feel so safe, to think things would be okay. You’d let your guard down and now you were paying for it. You got to your feet, swaying as a hand cradled your beat up ribs. You saw your backpack, the only silver lining in the fucked up situation as your ladder was still up there and there as no way you could climb with the pain you were in. 

You looked at the man, blinking through tearful eyes as you noticed he was wearing a coat with an eye painted on it like a logo. You remembered Billy and Frank talking about the guy from the store that day who held Billy at gunpoint and how he wore the same. They mused it was something to do with Rawlins so this didn’t fill you with hope that you’d gone under the radar. You’d tried to reason with yourself that the fire thing had been to get at Karen since Frank loved her and you’d just been collateral. But now they were targeting you all alone and it worried you. Anxiety stabbed you then as you thought of the others. What if the men had gone after them too? You slowly bent down to get your bag, idly thinking of the gunshot and how it might attract the dead here. You snatched your walkie, stepping backwards a little away from the man. You heard the metal bang before you felt the pain but then a fiery hot pain burst through your right leg and the loudest anguished yell tumbled from your lips before you were able to stop it. You blinkled down at your leg to see it caught in a small bear trap that you knew for sure hadn’t been there before. You really couldnt believe what the fuck was happening to you and you realized these guys really liked to have plan B’s in case the plan A fucked up. The pain was immense and worse than your ribs, the spikes from the trap deep into the flesh of your calf and blood was oozing around them. You wobbled on your feet, your injuries and pain making you feel like you were about to pass out and you fell on your ass, crying out as it tugged the bear trap as it fell to its side along with you. You felt like you couldn't breathe and tears streamed down your face in rivulets. You tried to ignore the pain in your ribs as you leaned over, trying with all your might to get the bear trap off you but it wasn’t like you’d ever had to do this before. You didn’t know how to disarm a bear trap. You cried softly, sniffling in anger as you tried and failed a few times. You fell back onto your back, wincing with every heaving breath you took and your vision danced around you. Was this how you’d die? Out here in the woods alone, caught in a trap as you waited for one of the dead to find you? You refused to die like this, this wasn’t how you wanted to go out. You looked over at the walkie and strained to reach it, making your ribs feel like they were on fire as you did. You finally managed to get it and relief flooded your system as your head spun.

“Anyone here?... It’s Artemis,” you mumbled down the walkie, voice slightly slurred. You felt like you were on a merry go round at a rapid rate that wouldn’t stop.

“Blackbird here. What’s up?” Billy asked, a note of concern in his voice. You’d never reached out at night before. You felt more relief at hearing his voice. This could very well be the last you heard him if your body decided it was done before he got here. Or maybe the dead would find you first. You felt so tired, you didn’t think you could fight them off.

“Is everyone okay?” you asked worriedly. 

“Yeah… we’re good… Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asked warily and you felt some relief that they were unharmed. 

“I need help,” you muttered, taking a slow and shaky breath as you squeezed your eyes shut.

“What is it? What happened?” he asked instantly, his concern shooting up to panic. 

“I’m hurt… just come to the treehouse please, I’ll tell you when you get here,” you pleaded through your tears, voice trembling. 

“I’ll be right there,” he said quickly and you sighed in relief, hoping he’d get here in time and not find you being eaten by the dead ones. 

“Watch out for bear traps,” you murmured tiredly, your eyes fluttering shut again. He didn’t answer and you hoped he’d got the message as you lay there, fighting with your body so you didn’t pass out. It didn’t take too long before Billy sprinted through the trees with a frantic look on his face. He stopped dead, his eyes first landing on the dead man before his eyes found you laying on the floor with your leg caught in a bear trap. 

“What the fuck?” he muttered, rushing over to you and falling to his knees. His dark eyes roamed over the bear trap as he looked like he was trying to think, his hands hovering uncertainly. 

“This is gonna hurt, alright?” he gave you a pointed look and you nodded, eyes half lidded as you looked at him. He looked guilty and unsure but then he disarmed the trap, pushing on the springs carefully and pulling it open. You cried out as the spikes left your flesh and you felt the blood starting to pour out of the wounds. 

“Shit…” Billy bit out, quickly shrugging his sweater off and then his t-shirt. He wrapped the t-shirt around your leg into a makeshift bandage, a deep frown marring his face as he tried to tie it around your leg to slow the bleeding down.

“What happened?” he asked. His voice was low and tight, his eyes not looking at you.

“He climbed up into the treehouse… tried to kill me. I stabbed him but he fell… I fell with him… then this happened,” you muttered sleepily, the darkness behind your eyes tugging at you. You felt a cold hand on your face and your eyes opened, seeing Billy’s face hovering over you.

“Stay with me, sweetheart, alright?” he asked, sounding worried as his dark eyes scanned your face. 

“I think my ribs are cracked,” you mumbled, blinking slowly at him. His frown deepened, eyes flitting to your torso before back at your face.

“We need to get you back to camp, get Curt to look at you,” he insisted as he moved to help you sit up. You cried softly at the pain as he held you and he looked so sad at your pitiful noises as he tried to get you to your feet. You couldn't put weight on your leg and when you glanced down, his gray t-shirt was already blood soaked and you wondered how much blood you were losing. Ideally, you didn’t want to remove something that was impaling you as it would stop the blood flowing too quickly, but it wasn’t like he could take you back to camp with a bear trap attached to you. You wobbled, his arm around you as you tried to hobble forward, but it only made another pained noise leave your lips. You’d felt pain a few times, having your throat slit had topped the list quite a bit. This was something else though. The pain in your ribs was intense and it seemed to fade into every part of your body. Your leg felt like it was being roasted over a fire, throbbing intensely. 

“‘M tired… why’s it so cold?” you asked in a whisper, head lolling a little bit and making Billy look panicked and wide eyed. 

“I’m gonna carry you, okay? It’s gonna hurt a bit but I’ll be as careful as I can,” he murmured, giving you a pained look as you nodded. You just wanted the pain to stop. He scooped you up bridal style and you hissed at how it jostled your ribs, making him apologize profusely to you. Once in his arms, he hurriedly walked back, trying his hardest not to hurt you too much. You snuggled against him, his bare skin touching you since he was still shirtless, his sweater left discarded on the floor. Your face was in the crook of his neck as you took a small inhale and let it soothe you. 

“How do you smell so nice?... It’s the end of the world,” you slurred into his neck.

“You know me, I’m just perfect,” his teasing didn't have the same effect when his voice had a distressed undertone to it but you smiled anyway. You felt the darkness tugging at you again, luring you in as you closed your eyes and enjoyed the comfort of skin to skin contact coming from Billy. 

“Stay with me, Y/N. You gotta stay awake for me,” he insisted, glancing down at you as his pace picked up. You could hear his heart thumping away at a rapid rate. 

“I’m just so tired, Billy,” you whispered, not opening your eyes. 

“Come on, Sweetheart, stay with me. You’re not gonna leave me like this, alright? I’m not losin’ anyone else,” he pleaded desperately but it fell on deaf ears as you passed out in his arms. 

You were in and out of it when you got to the camp. You’d come to, hearing everyone rushing around and talking frantically before you passed back out. You woke up briefly a few times when Curtis was working on your leg, pained groans leaving your lips before your eyes would roll back and you’d be out like a light once again. When you woke up properly, you were in the tent you knew the children used. You felt weak, your head fuzzy and your mouth felt dry. You blinked tiredly at the ceiling of the tent before you glanced to your side. Billy was sitting next to you, his head in his hands.

“Billy…” you croaked out, frowned at the lack of moisture in your mouth. He sat up quickly, head snapping to you as relief seemed to hit him like a train. He had circles around his eyes and he looked paler than he usually did. 

“Y/N… are you… you feel okay?” he asked hesitantly, scooting closer to you as his eyes darted all over your face. It was a hard question to answer. You were still in a lot of pain and you felt a little out of it, but you were alive and that was what really mattered. You nodded, blinking tiredly at him as he watched you.

“You don’t look so great,” you blurted, your head feeling too fuzzy to really think about insulting him like that. He didn’t look offended though, he frowned softly, his hand darting out and snatching your own as he held it tightly. 

“You lost a lotta blood. I’m a universal donor so… Curt rigged somethin’ up to give you a transfusion,” he explained and it took your disorientated brain a long moment to digest his words. 

“You gave me your blood?” you asked quietly, making him nod. You wondered how much you needed with how ill he looked. 

“Thank you,” you murmured, trying to muster up a smile for him. He looked away quickly, blinking his glassy eyes rapidly. 

“You gotta stop doin’ this shit. I’m gonna wind up havin’ a heart attack if you keep almost dyin’ on me like this,” he smirked, but it was weak and felt forced. 

“What can I say? I love danger,” you drawled with a tired smile, echoing words he’d once said to you. He smiled then, a wistful and slightly more genuine one but then his face turned somber again, his hand squeezing yours. 

“I… I just…” he trailed off and your hazy brain took in his anguished face and it made your chest ache, your brows creasing. 

“I care about you… I can’t lose you,” he murmured, his shiny almost black eyes meeting yours once more. Your chest filled with warmth that wasn’t coming from the pain in your ribs and you smiled at him, your thumb rubbing his hand. 

“I’m not doing it on purpose, I’m starting to think I’m in Final Destination,” you smirked and his lips quirked up a little. 

“I need to just lock you away or some shit. You’re like a danger magnet,” he said wryly. You opened your mouth to reply but Curtis came into the tent. He looked surprised to see you awake but then he smiled.

“It’s nice to see you again, Y/N. We were all pretty worried for a second,” he grinned and you smiled at him. You moved to try and sit up, not liking being laid flat like you were but Billy stopped you.

“Gotta rest for a bit, not move so much,” he instructed as he grabbed a spare blanket and balled it up, putting it under your top half like a big pillow to prop you up a little. You give him a grateful smile, feeling better that you weren’t lying flat anymore. 

“So… how bad is it?” you asked Curtis warily. Your brain still felt a little fuzzy around the edges but you were starting to feel a little more awake. The downside to it being the pain seemed to get worse. Curtis glanced at your leg, a slight wince before he looked at your face.

“Your boot saved your foot, it took the brunt of the worst of it. You almost ended up in the one legged club,” he said with a wry smile but his eyes shone with concern.

“I stitched you up the best I could and I gave you some of Billy’s blood. I’m not sure if your leg’s broken or not with no x-ray. If it is, it's not a full fracture, no bone sticking out or anything. Still might be a hairline fracture though. You need to keep off it for a bit and Matt and Foggy are trying to make a splint for you. Your ribs are cracked, I don’t think they’re broken,” he explained sympathetically.

“Thanks,” you nodded, feeling despondent at the knowledge you'd be out of commission for a while. Laying here doing nothing really didn’t sound appealing. 

“I’ll go and see if they’re done with the splint so we can get it on you,” Curtis smiled before he shared a look with Billy and then left the tent. 

“You’re gonna be stayin’ with us and you’re not gonna argue with me about it,” Billy said firmly, his face telling you he really wasn’t going to have an argument about it. You didn’t want to argue though. You loved your treehouse but you didn’t feel safe there now. It was tainted. This whole ordeal had shown you that you were also a target now and isolating yourself like you had been was dangerous. You were easier to pick off that way.

“Okay,” you nodded and he looked shocked for a moment that you hadn’t argued with him about it. 

“Good,” he said, sniffing as he rolled his shoulder. 

“Thank you for coming to help me… for the blood and everything,” you murmured after a moment of silence. He didn’t have to come and help you, didn’t need to answer the walkie at all and he certainly didn’t need to offer up his blood. His eyes pinned you in place, watching you for a moment. 

“You don’t need to thank me, you know I got your back,” he said easily and it made you smile as your chest tightened. 

“I forgot how nice it was to have people looking out for me,” you admitted and he smiled softly. 

“Been tellin’ you this whole time to just give in and join us,” he pointed out, raising his brow. 

“Yeah, well… you know how stubborn I am,” you snorted and his lips curled into a grin. 

“I know, it’s a pain in my ass,” he huffed, amusement shining in his eyes. You’d been resisting joining the group, only to be forced into it anyway. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing though. Billy had really come through for you, as did the others from the snippets you remembered of getting to the camp. It showed you they really did care and while it was scary, it felt nice. The world had a lot less people on it now, most of them turning as feral as the dead. It was hard to come by good people, people who would look out for you, care for you when you were at your most vulnerable. You’d had that once, forming a bond like family with your old group. You never thought you’d find that again after everything, didn’t think it would be possible, nor did you want it. But now as you looked at Billy with his soft brown eyes as he looked down at you, you knew you wanted to be here. You wanted to be part of something more than yourself. To have people to watch out for you and for you to watch out for them. To have a purpose, a reason to keep going, to keep fighting. You’d lost that along the way but now you knew you’d found it again and you were looking right at it. 

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@ariesbutalibra

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

[fixa-ryeter]

you know what. thank you to @rovercat ‘s post (sorry for the ping, but i would like to express gratitude) for reminding me of the Mogami Arc essay (slightly loose term) i had written (turns out it was fully written already LMAO) and abandoned because i forgot about it

so here’s the thing in full. apologies for the lack of pictures and the over-abundance of words ,,,

okay.. i know i always throw around the fact that i love the Mogami arc so much and when people ask usually i’m like LMAO BECAUSE ANGST but genuinely? there’s another reason.

there’s just something about being pushed down to rock bottom and being on the brink of becoming what you think is the lowest of the low… and having your perception of morality altered from there.

like listen. Shigeo’s rule of Never Use Powers Against Others is set in soft stone by none other than Arataka Reigen, and it’s reinforced by the alleyway incident with ??? emerging and hurting Ritsu in the process. up until this point his entire theory of how to be a good person like Reigen told him to a few years ago is… do not use your powers. the only exception he’s made is for his brother and it was a pretty reasonable,,, yk,,, his brother got beat up and kidnapped,,, like i would excuse myself for that too.

but enter Keiji Mogami who Challenges that rule. Shigeo has been able to adhere to that rule in his reality because he’s surrounded by good people who will support and defend him, so he has no reason to do it himself with his powers… now Mogami’s world treats him to a whole 180° where he doesn’t have powers, but practically every single person there is such a goddamn piece of fucking shit toward him that he starts wishing he had the power to defend himself. to fight back. to teach them a lesson, even. and when Mogami grants him that power after 6 months of hell… like come on. he’s fourteen. of course he’s going to get influenced. and he did—he had already made the decision to hurt Asagiri. 

「僕があんたらに何をしたっていうんだ？さっぱりわからない。でもわからなくていい…どうでもいい…」

“What have I ever done to you? I don’t understand at all. But it’s okay if I don’t understand. It doesn’t matter…”

yeah i don’t know about you but to me that definitely sounds like a kid ready to succumb to using power 

but then comes Dimple, who snaps him out of it, and he never truly lays a finger on Asagiri… but he’d already made the decision that it would be okay to do that, before Dimple stepped in. Shigeo has already lost to Mogami…

not really.

Mogami thinks the world is abhorrent. he’s had his own spoonfuls of poison that give him this view: the world is full of malicious humans who do bad and get away with it, so why not punish them? they are the people who should suffer the negative consequences, and it’s not wrong to wield your power to give them those consequences. they deserve it. it’s necessary, essential to punish wrongdoers. he wants Shigeo, one of the most powerful espers in the series, to empathise with his view. and he does. Mogami influences Shigeo to hurt someone. But it’s Dimple that influences him not to carry through with it, and here’s what i really want to expand upon.

influence is a powerful thing, but it’s not about winning or losing to influence; to me, this arc is (at least partially) about what influences you. what shapes you to be the person you are? what experiences lead you to bad deeds? what events lead you to good actions?

Mogami and Shigeo have both touched on this; it’s partially up to luck to decide whether you’re surrounded with good or bad people, and whether you grow up with good or bad influences… and those will shape you as a person. you don’t put all the blame on a person for their actions, because there’s another question to ask after ‘are their actions good or bad?’—‘why do they do this?’

reality is chock full of these examples, big or small. as a child who had great expectations (Dickens!) put on him, i grew up to be a person conscious of my achievements and how others perceive me; many of my actions have the purpose of keeping up an impression i want to withhold of myself.

but let’s shrink back from reality to anime—Teruki Hanazawa, a boy unlucky enough to have absent parents who don’t give him the love he needs, abusing his powers for a perfect world where he is acknowledged, praised, worshipped. Katsuya Serizawa, a man unlucky enough to be given powers he doesn’t know how to control, shutting himself in his room until he is manipulated by Toichirou Suzuki and dragged out of his room to become a terrorist. Fuck it—Yusuke Sakurai, who never experienced the good of society as a young child, feeling the need to put himself in an organisation who claims to be above society, to take over the world because to absolute hell with a society who’s never treated him well. They’ve all got their backstories, the things that shaped them into what they became in their futures. And each of them were also influenced by others to become better versions of themselves: Teruki and Serizawa by Shigeo, and Sakurai by Reigen.

it’s easy to put the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ labels on people, but i think that the Mogami Arc is against doing this so simply. the ability to empathise with one’s environment and experiences is the most important thing here. it’s what Shigeo learns from how he has been influenced by the people around him, but ultimately, Mogami, someone who had managed to make him a ‘bad person’ who was willing to hurt, even if only for a short while. it’s also why i think that the Mogami Arc is integral to how the World Domination Arc played out—Shigeo empathises with Toichirou. he offers to be someone to talk to, and up until 100% Resignation, attempts again and again to make Toichirou see that there is a way out of the lonely world both of them have seen and lived in, to make Toichirou willing to turn over a new leaf. and even after that, how he tries to absorb Toichirou’s energy to let him have a chance at apologising to his family, to become a better person by righting his wrongs… how to use his empathy is something that Shigeo learns from this arc, i think.

the Mogami Arc is also a testimony to Shigeo’s kindness. 

「まだ最低な浅桐さんを助けてないんだから。」

“I’ve yet to save that horrible Asagiri-san.” 

she’s been a horrendous character to him. Shigeo knows this full well, and yet he still tries his fucking hardest to save her. when he’s met with a vile personality like Toichirou’s, he displays remarkable insistence of trying to talk to him, to empathise with the world he lives in, no matter how much Toichirou hurts him in spite of his kind intentions. (if only he could grant himself this kindness earlier.) 

like, shit. the world sure can be horrible. but the bitterness that Mogami carries doesn’t fix shit; it’s Shigeo’s faith in the power of influence and relationships between people that does. by being a kind person, he’s able to influence others to change, at least a little, for the better. Asagiri and Toichirou are good examples of this. it’s also neat fucking proof that people rely on each other, because influence comes from each other!!

so in short: i fucking adore the Mogami arc because of how it explores empathy and kindness, and ties them together. how Shigeo can change others with his kindness, and how we learn that we’re capable of changing others for the better, so why not try do to that? 

[astralpenguin]

MID YEAR BOOK FREAKOUT TAG

tagged by @its-tea-time-darling 💜💜💜

1. Best book you've read so far in 2024

so let them burn by kamilah cole

it's a jamaican-inspired fantasy following two girls: the chosen one and her older sister. except five years have passed since they helped liberate their country from oppression and it's turned out that the aftermath of war and child soliders and teen queens isn't quite so simple to navigate after all. then the chosen one's sister forms an unprecedented soul bond with a dragon and dragon-rider belonging to their old oppressors. the chosen one's gods tell her the only way to keep her people safe is to kill her sister, but both sisters care about each other way too much for killing each other to be an option.

if you like: siblings who'd burn the world for each other, dragons, soulmates who hear each other's thoughts, possession, gods who do not understand humans to the point that it causes Big Problems for everybody, and stories that explore what happens to the chosen one after the story is done, then you might like this book as well! also both sisters are queer (one is a lesbian and one is demi) so if you're looking for more queer books to read that aren't the same handful that always get rec'd first then here's one <3

2. Best sequel you've read so far in 2024

does the sunshine court count as a sequel? i'm gonna count it. that one. it's probably not Technically the best sequel i've read but it's added to the aftg brainworms that i've had for many years so

3. New release you haven't read yet but want to

dear wendy by ann zhao (two aroace uni students are enemies online due to their rival dating advice columns while becoming besties irl) and road to ruin by hana lee (bisexual polyamorous mad max fury road which also happens to have been written by a twitter mutual of mine)

4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

compound fracture by andrew joseph white!!! which i have an e-arc of and will be the next thing i read because i've delayed enough already

5. Biggest disappointment

wranglestone i had such high hopes for you but i have ended up with NOTHING nice to say except that the cover is pretty. don't read this book it's so terrible in every way and everyone involved in shortlisting it for an award should be ashamed of themselves

6. Biggest surprise

i've had the abyss surrounds us by emily skrutskie (and its sequel) sitting on my shelf for literal years and i finally picked them up a couple of months ago and they were excellent??? like it turns out they weren't getting hyped on booktube ~2017 just because they were sapphic ya sci-fi at a time when there was very little of that, but because they're also genuinely very very good, which was definitely a surprise to me. i was expecting to like them well enough, not to love them like i ended up!!

7. Favourite new author (debut or new to you)

i've read all three of zoe hana mikuta's books this year so let's go with her jksdfhgk her books are very cool, though the prose is often unnecessarily dense (she loooves her purple prose) which can make it a little hard to understand what's actually happening (which she leans into hard in her wonderland reimagining, to the point of near-incomprehensibility, which she gets away with solely because it's wonderland), but that clearly didn't annoy me too much seeing as i still read all her books lmao. something i really like about her books is the way that she centres platonic relationships and platonic love just as much as she does romantic relationships and romantic love, and also isn't afraid of letting the platonic relationships be just as toxic and fucked up as the romantic ones can be

8. Newest fictional crush

i don't get crushes on fictional characters

9. Newest favourite character

if i solely look at books i haven't mentioned yet, i also read interview with the vampire for the first time this year (i will get to the show At Some Point) and how anyone can read that book and not come away from it having a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about claudia i do not know

10. Book that made you cry

none, but i don't cry very easily

11. Book that made you happy

the garlic duology by bree paulsen!! they're cosy fantasy middle grade graphic novels about garlic, one of many vegetables that have been brought to life by a small town witch to help tend her garden, and how her life changes when a vampire moves in to a nearby empty castle

12. Favourite book to film adaptation that you've seen this year

my mother is OBSESSED with bullet train, and i do really like it as well, so whenever we're in the same place we tend to end up rewatching it. it slaps. don't watch it if you can't handle bloody scenes, death, or the threatened death of a child, but if you can handle those things then i very strongly recommend it

13. Most beautiful book you've bought so far this year (or received)

sigh. wranglestone. though tbf some of the fairyloot books i got this year before i cancelled my subscription are gorgeous too

14. What books do you need to read by the end of the year

compound fracture for sure!!!!!! then i just really need to make some kind of a dent in my unread e-arc collection lmao

15. How many new books have you read so far

according to goodreads i have read 48 books so far in 2024

i'm gonna tag @itsthemxze even though tea tagged you already (ha get double tagged), @fili-is-gone, and anyone else who wants to do this!!

[lady-of-imladris]

Writer Asks

Thank you so much for tagging me @coraleethroughthelookingglass and @pursuitseternal <3

Answers under the cut!

1) How many works on AO3?

I only have 2 on ao3 because it's so much easier to post on tumblr? The tagging system still scares me lol. I have 17+ fics total (but apparently I forgot to tag at least two of them in my masterlist. oops)

2) what’s your AO3 word count?

ao3 word count: 2994

total word count: over 36k

3) What fandoms do you write for?

mostly Tolkien related: lotr/the hobbit/the silm/rings of power

4) what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Gonna go by notes on tumblr instead because I have more fics here! 1. Thranduil braiding Legolas' hair drabbles

2. Gain a Son (Theoden survives and meets Faramir AU)

3. Chapter 3 of The Great War (In case you're wondering why specifically this chapter; it is the smuttiest)

4. Chapter 1 of The Great War (ah yes, people had great expectations in my writing. back then. 6 months ago. sorry)

5. Chapter 5 of The Great War (The second smuttiest)

5) Do you respond to comments?

I try! I love interacting with people who read my fics and even take the time to comment <3

6) What fic did you write with the angstiest ending?

There's probably a few chapters of The Great War that have an angsty ending (brace yourselves, I'm gonna make Thranduil SUFFER) but I don't think I have an angsty standalone... (time to change that lol)

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Probably Arda University, my cute little LOTR college AU!! (read to find out why it's happy lmao)

8) do you get hate on fics?

Luckily not! I'm pretty sure one single hate comment would make me stop writing altogether. People who leave hate on fics are evil!!!!

9) do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes I do! Most notably I've done praise kink and breeding kink. I still have a bit of an explicit smut writing block? idk what's going on there

10) crossovers?

Best I can do is college AU! I have not done a crossover (yet?)

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No

12) have you had a fic translated?

No

13) have you ever co-written a fic?

No

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Can't say I have an all time favourite, but Eowyn X Faramir is up there!!!

15) what’s a Wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh god. Really exposing myself here. The Thranduil/Feanor/Reader threesome will probably never be finished, but I wish I would.

16) what are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at darkness, despair, heartbreak and foreshadowing that is so blatantly obvious that I prolong everyone's suffering :)

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

I am rather new to writing so I probably have quite a few! I am not good at planning my chapters so the word count remains consistent (At least not in my current longfic). I take super long to write things??? And I don't think I'm very good at writing smut 🙃

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I throw in some Elvish or Black Speech every once in a while to mix things up! I'm not opposed to any language that makes sense and that I speak a reasonable amount of (like German or French)

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Rogue One. Was it Krennic Smut. Yes.

20) Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Once again, Arda University. It was super fun to write!!!! And I think it is a cute and fun little read :)

No pressure tagging: @thesolarangel @wordbunch @sotwk (hello new friend!) @niennawept and open tags of course!! <3 <3

[namtanlovesfilm]

hi axelle! do you have recent or currently airing BLs to recommend? I'm bored LOL

hi :) yes I do! I've honestly been enjoying the latest bl batch so much tbh, like it's not incredible but I'm having a great time! in order from my fave to my slightly less fave (I also included shows that stopped airing less 2 months ago):

be my favorite: it's no secret that I'm HOOKED to this show already! it really has the potential to become a favorite of mine if it plays its cards right bc I love the premise of someone disatisfied with their life traveling time to make it better, as I find it highly relatable. I also love the characters already and I think the writing & pace of the show is extremely well done so far :) episodes watched: 2/10. grade so far: 8,5/10.

bokura no shokutaku: I started this show with zero expectation & we all know that's how you get the best surprises. and yup this show has stolen my heart entirely. I literally spent the last episode clutching my chest while smiling like an idiot, it's such a wholesome, feel good show while also working through the characters' traumas & the ship is SO good! I absolutely love it :) episodes watched: 9/10. grade so far: 8,5/10.

la pluie: idk the general opinion of this show & I don't wanna know (unless it's my followers, share away babes!) but I really like it. I think the characters are very lovable, especially the brothers saengtai & saengtien, I think the acting is good, the plot is simple yet interesting & makes you want to watch more, the chemistry is very good as well, and some of the themes of the show about love, soulmates & breaking up are definitely worth exploring. overall it's also a show I look forward to every week :) episodes watched: 6/12. grade so far: 8/10.

a boss and a babe: a show I did not plan on ever watching, but I'm so glad I did! even though it's a pretty simple show &, yes, is still definitely an hr violation lmao, I really liked it. it really shows that you can make a basic show so much more interesting by developing all of its characters including its side characters, touching on their mental health & other traumas well. you can tell the writers really cared about their characters & it made for a surprisingly healthy & heartfelt show. definitely hope to see more bl shows like this one in the near future :) episodes watched: 12/12. grade: 8/10

step by step: even though this is a basic show, I also really like its writing. all of its characters are treated with care & developed well, even when it means not rushing the main relationship which might make the show boring for some. I really appreciated that the last relationship of the main character is developed so well too, it's rare to see a bl show build up the secondary lead that much, even having him kiss the main character before the main lead. it also feels more like a show about a queer relationship than a bl show to me. so while, yes, it's not perfect, and it's also definitely another hr violation lol, I am enjoying it. I wish all bl shows put in this much care into their story & characters, bc it really adds something. episodes watched: 7/12. grade so far: 8/10

love mate: I wanted to include some korean bl lol, this one was really cute & the chemistry was frankly perhaps the best I've been coming from a kbl. it's short & sweet, nothing too out of this world but I would recommend it :) episodes watched: 8/8. grade: 8/10

house of stars: lastly, this will be my controversial pick bc from what I've seen people don't like this show, and I don't love it either, but I'm kinda fascinated by it so I needed to include it. there is a lot in this show that I would change, yet I am so intrigued by its main character gun lol, I'm lowkey obsessed with him, and I am so intrigued as to how the love triangle will resolve. I don't expect it to become better with time, but I think this show stands out insanely from other bls & contrarily to what the trailer let us think it's not nearly as exploitative in terms of sex as I thought. just bc of all of that, I would honestly recommend it if you're looking for something messy, mysterious & that will probably let you down in the end lol. if you're watching it come tell me what u think of it in my asks so we can try to make sense of this show! episodes watched: 6/12. grade so far: 7,5/10

xxx

[sardonic-sprite]

I'm Back!

Wow, so Lent is over now, so my tumblr fast is also over and I'm still a little in shock, lol. I had hoped the past six weeks? I don't know, Time is weird, would be more productive but at least I got SOME stuff written/posted. Anyway, I have one more month of school and then fucking FINALS so expect sporadic updates at idiot-o-clock hours of the night, and maybe yell at me to sleep, eat, study, or drink water whenever i do post 😅

I am up to SO EFFING MANY wips rn on so many different fronts you guys have no freaking idea 😭 so here's a status report for EVERYTHING on or going on sardonic_sprite. (Its gonna be a monster post, y'all, bear with me)

in absolutely no particular order:

Wayne4Ham: We have a LONG way to go with this one, so just be patient and I'll slowly but steadily plug on through. Aaron Burr, Sir, should theoretically take me no longer than end of april

Wayne-Crazy: there's like 4 specific requests on it, plus a few 'series' i started, but after those, say 6-7, i'll probably mark as complete and only re-open if someone offers me an idea

Batman Beginners: i'll tell y'all up front, this one will take me forever. i don't even know what all I intend to cover, but know that i'm halfway done with the DITF arc, and it'll probably come out in the next two months

Just A Kid: this was my shits-and-giggles fic that got like 3000 notes in a weekend lmao. it's something i do intend to continue bc its so fun and i enjoy the concepts in it, but i don't have plans to actively write more of it in the immediate future.

Rev Wayne: just gave y'all Jason's fic, so the next probably won't come until late in summer, extrapolating from my few data points. if anyone has ideas for timmy's intro, let me know, i'd love some inspiration

Celeb Batwaynes: reported separate from wayne-crazy for reasons. i think theres like 12 specific requests plus 2 ideas of my own. i may put out a poll for the next one to write, but not until after school's out, because these fics are HUGE time-eaters for me. speaking of, are non-tumblr-users able to vote on polls?

Welcome to Gotham U: this was again, me doing shit bc why not. will probably add more in the style that i first posted, but i doubt i will write any prose for it. if you would like to give it a try, please reach out, i'd love to see what you write!

One Diamond: every time i touch this i make the cliffhanger worse lmao. i finally do have a direction, but execution is gonna have to wait a while.

The Young, Innocent, and Righteous: this is mostly just for me anyway, but i'm just gonna say that i'm waiting until i finish watching miraculous season 5 before i go any further

AS you wish: i have 5 more requests to do and i am so sorry to everyone waiting you do not deserve this lmao. i promise im trying, i love your ideas, it just takes me a really long time to fill in the rest and then actually write it. the next one on my list is particularly hard to pin down and so it's halting the ones behind it to. if not before, then after finals i will sit and bang my head on the keyboard until something good comes out

Light Isn't Fadin': soooooo many people have asked me about this one oof. SOMEDAY, i swear. right now its a huge, nebulous, hulking monster and im sorry it's just not happening yet.

A christmas carol: wait until december. please

Father's Day: june.

A Little Problem: over the summer, i will watch marvel movies until they once again hijack my brain and fuel this to completion. maybe.

easter eggs: how the fuck did i forget this lmao. i'm doing as much as i can in april, but when the month is done, i'm sorry, we'll all be waiting until next lenten season. hopefully it won't come to that.

aaaaand i THINK that's finally it. there's also a bunch of random paragraphs in word and google docs that may appear, not to mention ideas that kidnap me in dark alleys. but i also have like a good half dozen other wips for other places that im trying to attend to, so please be forgiving if it seems like its taking a while to post something as sprite.

as always, i love questions, comments, concerns, even some complaints, so feel free to interact.

See ya when I see ya!

sprite