#excuse my tangents and ramblings

[tieflingprincess]

5, 11, 18, 29 for the music asks? ...🪶

HELLO my dear, thank you for taking interest in my absolutely chaotic takes 😭

5) A song that needs to be played LOUD

Listen, I know this is meant as like "a song so badass you wanna play it at the club to dance to it" or something along those lines, but all my weirdo brain can offer is, that I have a playlist titled "boss battle" that I frequently blast so loud I feel like I leave this plane of existence to go fight some fucking fantasy battle (as normal people do.... RIGHT? 😭).... so uh yeah it's gonna be Globus - Preliator for this one, which is arguably the Nr 1 paladin song of all time. Which I guess is an odd choice for "loud song" considering how much Metal (yk, the stereotypical loud screaming music gerne xD) I listen to on a daily basis.

11) A song that you never get tired of

Kai Rosenkranz - Vista Point (from the Gothic 3 Soundtrack): I had a LOT of picks for this prompt, many tough contenders, but this song somehow has a death grip on me. Vista Point my beloved. Peak video game music from an obscure old German Fantasy RPG. The DM of the "The Dark Eye"-campaign I play once used this as ambient music and I literally broke character only to yell "Vista Point!" like an idiot.

18) A Song from the year that you were born

Loona - Hijo de la luna: I actually had to do quite some research for this prompt, as I am definetly not familliar with 90s music. Just found out that this song I was obsessed with as a little girl came out the year I was born. Fun fact, I still fondly remember the cool older Goth girl I met at summer camp who originally showed me this song (for some reason?) xD

29) A song that you remember from your childhood

Toraboruta/Kagamine Rin/Vocaloid - Soleil: Also a tough one! But hey... listen, if you grew up on the internet as a lonely weird kid and didn't have a Vocaloid phase you are LYING! This one, I remember, was definetly one of my favorites, I found it so sad and used it to write angsty fanfic. Aaah, good times xD

[sweetest-honeybee]

was cleaning my fridge when I randomly thought "a clean home is a happy home" and now I'm thinkin how infuriated Home would be if he gets dirty or to add even more fuel to the already blazing fire, how much of a clean freak Grey Au!Wally would be to keep Home happy

Ohh! A clean home is definitely a happy home! I’m seeing this more like Home being such a clean freak haha!

[hauntingsofhouses]

hi, it's me. the fic writer that uses culturally-specific idioms in a very different cultural time setting and keeps confusing words like reign and rein. this is my story.

[rivalswsh]

old mighty med interviews? What do you know about them? I must know-

hsfdffdjj…I was not actually expecting anyone to send in an ask, thank you ^_^ tbh i was mainly referring to content in mighty med interviews that I personally find interesting and less what I know about them. However some interviews raise interesting questions like how in this interview (idk if this actually counts as an interview bc they’re just being asked things about the show but it’s close enough) they play a promotional clip where kaz and oliver are playing an online game together (in a set that’s never used in the show) and jake short says that k&o really like videogames when iirc that’s not really a thing?? in the show?? other than the dance ep ofc. so maybe it was supposed to be but then it was too irrelevant to the shows premise so they gave the trait to Jordan? I don’t know if the writers even played video games considering the arcade game she plays in the first episode has her blowing up unicorns (???) but back on the interview I’m also pretty sure the set of the clip directly after is from this ad. this set is also never used in the show. the ad even uses the tagline “it’s just how they operate” even though it’s “saving the people who save people”. realistically these were probably made earlier in development, but i think it would be funny if the marketing team just straight up didn’t watch the show (haha imagine wouldn’t it be so crazy if a team working with mm didn’t watch it wouldn’t that be so silly) so the old interviews may give some insight into bts stuff! Sick! Another thing is this article (comfort read btw) which has transcribed parts of an interview w the mm cast and crew where they explain some of the thought behind skylars character and…

.. it’s just so interesting!! So much care was put into mms world and it really shines through in this interview. Also in both the video interview and the article, k&o are respectively described as the gas and the break by their actors+the shows creators and it’s just so.. OTL (<- man on his hands and knees)…. bsp even says “you can’t drive a car without both” (paraphrasing) and it’s like. ack. eek. them... this analogy was probably told to bsp+js and now we get to see the intentions with which they’re written maybe! anyway i hope I answered your ask correctly. And if not I hope it was a satisfactory or at least interesting answer ^_^

[godmodebeginswithlesbians]

ive seen some posts like "xenologue!alcryst is the opposite of canon!alcryst but xenologue!céline is just normal céline but Extreme" but like. i dont think thats whays goin on here exactly

like, lets look at céline, yeah? her canon! character traits are, like, most prominently is her kindness, followed by her devotion to her people, followed by the least shown one, which would be how she's willing to do just about anything to protect her people.

now lests look at alcryst. most notable: his imposter syndrome and utter self hatred, his love/caring/admiration/whatever the word im looking for is for people, specifically his family (esp diamant) (to the point where its his personal skill), and finally, barely shown, he is shown to be... maybe not like full on bloodthirsty but like yknow? (thinking mainly about how he ends up threatening ivy in the chapter 11 post battle talk) (also about how luna (negates/ignore's half of foe's defense and resistance) is a skill locked to him) (probably as a counterpart to sol (which is locked to diamant), but oddly fitting)

in both cases, the second trait at least a little bit informs the first and the third, yeah? so to me it looks like the scale has been reversed, really, rather than their xenologue counterparts being their opposites. like, theey are, but like on the same sliding scale or smth yknow?

[octomae]

my take on the agents! they've been invading my brain for a while

[tallsuperstar]

Y'know wht would be funny. Okay. Vesper and Sirius Cisum AU. Sirius is a spirit who is stuck under a contract with Ves. Neither of them are happy abt this but neither can fix it/get rid of it bc the contract was done via Chief Gara. No matter what happens between these two characters it hs to continue their running gag of being stuck together bc Sirius questioned if Ves can do it alone. Idk if Ves should be human or a demon though. I also haven't ran this by Bia even tho Ves is her character

[angstmonsterwrites]

"They're just feelings," has to be one of the most dismissive and nihilistic bad mental health platitudes out there.

Ah yes, let's minimize one of the foremost psychological mechanisms through which we experience life, relationships, and ourselves as meaningless or inconsequential. Never mind their impact on our every decision, our bodily health--pretty much everything they touch, really.

It pisses me off so bad, I swear I could bite through a steel bar every time I hear it.

How is this saying even a thing, when 99.9% of the reasons people seek professional mental health help have a very great deal to do with regulating/processing/understanding their emotions?

Make it make sense.

[dreamingpuffkin]

I'm finally here and setting up. I hope to get my creative juices flowing (drawing and writing) enjoying stuff instead of getting riled up over things that are beyond my control.

I'm usually fixated on more niche stuff but I'm here in the midst of Gravity Falls' recent revival and have quickly assimilated (lol so don't expect too many of these, I think).

Newer Gravity Falls participants, beware of spoilers (the doodle under the cut).

[residentialsinyomakai]

I was tagged by the wonderful @jqmon ! Thank youuuu and here I go;

Favorite color: Purple, navy blue, and neons in general! They're pretty nice and can stand against a black background.

Last song i listened to: I have just had a random playlist on right now actually, but I think its called A Mask of my Own Face by Lemon Demon!

Currently Reading: "Camouflage of Great Reknown" by RatCandy! Again AUGH i love this fic Zote is me and i am Zote. Anyways, I would go on a tangent about that but this shouldn't drone on longer than my usual ramblings wahahazzzzz Also, "To Kill a Mocking Bird" By Harper Lee.

Currently watching/rewatching: "Yokai Watch!" and "Brave the Animated Series!" I've watched the latter almost 17 times in counting now aodjoeod, it's one of my faves that rivals Yokai Watch (which is pretty impressive if you know me!)

Want to watch/rewatch: "Yo-kai Watch" (OG), "Good Omens", "The Good Place", the new TMNT show and "ROTTMNT"! Quite the list but y'know =u=.

Currently craving: What I would do for some tiramisu right now...

Coffee or Tea: Same as prev, I like em both! I do like them like my chocolate though; a little more on the bitter side!

Hobbies in Mind: Drawing (digital and traditional), singing, playing videos games, and general crafts. I'd try to make anything once ○°w°○ wwwww.

Current AU: I have an unnamed Yokai Watch AU featuring my sona/character Caspian! I like making random stuff for it but I don't have a post or anything on it yet tho aifkoeod. Not to say I haven't fleshed some of it out or come up with a plot+official refs rho! (Fun fact if you've seen some of my posts; the yokai redesigns I showed yall a while ago were mostly just an excuse to show you the AU versions wwwww^) That, and a little personal world thing with two irls that I love <33 (COUGH. @samiisams and @sketchdeath22 ..... they have amazing stuff go look ooooo......)

People who I wanna get to know better: Hope y'all don't mind the tagggggggg!

@analog-smiles @c00kietin @strange0-0storm @amf-studios @aura-bug @suppai-limes @sketchdeath22 @samiisams

Love y'all!/p (hope I didn't accidently tag anyone whose already participated auiemdhjcr...)

[emmie-writes-stuff]

So the new chapter is out and GOOD GOD do I have some thoughts and a lot of them don’t make a whole lot of sense but I can’t not talk about this chapter

Firstly, Kaiser looks adorable (never thought I’d say that about him outside of my head but here I am)

Secondly, holy hell my heart hurts

He didn’t deserve this, no child deserves this

The fact that he had to “go to work” and just steal

HE HAS NO SHOES his little feet have got to hurt, or they’ve completely calloused up from not wearing shoes, but even then (speaking from experience) it still hurts to walk on hot ground and rocks and other stuff on the street

Yknow, I understood him hating milk before (because milk is disgusting) but now I get it even more

What a stupid reason to get upset, imma kick this waste of space excuse for a father in the fucking face AND balls because ITS FUCKING MILK

Eat some damn fiber or somethin if you got constipation issues

Who let this absolute scum of the earth reproduce???

HES LITERALTL TWELVE YEARS OLD

All the other shit went down before he was even double digits

But dangerous situations create smart kids, and Kaiser was very smart to start saving his own money

I used to have my own stash in case I ever had to run away (long story, we’re not getting into my family issues in this post, but yeah)

At least he has shoes now, protect those feet plz, they’re what keep you upright and moving

Soooooooo are we gonna acknowledge that he treats the soccer ball the same way he’s currently treating Ness orrrrrrrr

But like, it’s nice that he has an outlet to channel his anger into that isn’t a person (at least for now smh)

It’s really interesting seeing how each of the characters came to play soccer

(Side note: but he throws the ball at a picture of a woman, could he maybe be imagining this woman as his mother?)

His mother also deserves a kick to the face if I have anything to say bout it

I have no words for this

Just, can I steal him? Please? I’ll give him a good life

Fuck the snitches, how dare they

Also, you can clearly see his ribs defined, and that hurts me

I love that he was willing to let go of everything

He was ready to start fresh with getting money, was cooperating with the police, until the soccer ball was threatened

Because that is his most valuable possession

The money doesn’t matter, but the ball is a symbol to him of something that won’t leave him or hurt him

It’s a very small sense of independence and stability in this very unstable and controlling environment

The ball is heavily implied to be the first thing he ever bought for himself, it’s what defined a key part in his life

Taking that away is like taking away his soul, his outlet, and comfort, and Kaiser just couldn’t stand for it

There’s so many more things I’m thinkin and I have way too many incoherent thoughts for tumblr, but these are the ones I was able to clear up and make sense of

This chapter hit very deep and while my past doesn’t involve much physical abuse and struggles to this level, it was hard not to empathize and relate my own experiences with abuse with the ones in this chapter

I don’t wanna get into shit, it’s not somethin I exactly wanna put out in the public, but there’s so much here that I could understand and relate to and it just made everything so much more difficult to read (in a good way I guess)

Just, GOD, why did I have to become a fan before this chapter came out???

Okay, that’s my ramble for this, bye before I start going on even more tangents

[sh00t4th3m00n]

Hot take: Mr. Puzzles receives too much blame for Western Spaghetti.

(Ramble under the cut)

"Mr. Puzzles tortured Meggy in Western Spaghetti, he made her relive her death over and over for a month!" No, he didn’t actually. That was One-Shot Wren. Sure, he gave Wren the technology and control of the simulation, but he didn't force Wren to do anything after that. You could argue that Puzzles enabled him, but Wren's actions toward Meggy and the crew afterward were all his own. Mr. Puzzles just sat back and watched. Did his comment about Meggy's "performance" in the Puzzlevision movie feel like adding insult to injury? Sure, but I think he legitimately thought he was giving her actual praise and just didn't even consider the mental/emotional ramifications of it all. Of course this doesn't excuse the things he HAS done, but Western Spaghetti specifically is on Wren.

On that same note, I actually think Mr. Puzzles isn't quite as "malicious" as we've painted him to be. He’s crafty, and he did do some pretty terrible things during the Puzzlevision arc, but they struck me as coming from a lack of understanding of the damage he was doing than actual malice. Again, it doesn’t excuse them, but it's not like he specifically wished them harm or had a grudge against them (though he probably does now).

"But he was happy to call himself a villain during the Meme Factory mini-arc." Yes, but I feel like he's taking the sort of approach where he likes to call himself a villain but doesn't really understand what that means. (The guy grew up in isolation watching TV all day; I wouldn't be surprised if his understanding of "evil" was on par with a Saturday morning cartoon villain.) And the only reason he's doing it is because he's playing the role he feels he's been assigned. After all, SMG4 was the first one to call him a "dime a dozen bad guy," but I don't think he started out wanting to be one. Which is primarily why I think he's not completely irredeemable. I mean he said it himself, he just wanted to make a good TV show.

Went on a little bit of a tangent, but thanks for listening to me pop off. XD And hey, those are just my thoughts. What do you guys think?

[crooked-wasteland]

I just saw your essay on the codependency of FizzOzzie and it cleared up a lot of things I've been thinking about this ship and to be honest, I myself thought it was the most healthiest ship in the whole show even better than the trash that Stoliz is but well... (btw, I was trying to scroll through tumblr to find it but can you just link it for me so I coud read it again)?

It also brings me to an idea of the possibility brung up in two fics each with different ideas:

#1 if Hazbin's events every leak in Helluva's since they're the same universe, there's a possibility that Lucifer would want to have precautionary heirs for the defense of Hell and outright force Ozzie and any other relationships with lowerclass apart since it's "not compatible with angelic DNA" or some thing, so Ozzie could in fact leave Fizz because of his status

#2 Ozzie getting tired of Fizz... Ozzie is the sin of Lust after all and Lust can be ever-changing and capricious in its nature as a sin. Ozzie’s character, embodying Lust, might lead to a fluctuating commitment level, influencing his interactions and relationships. In biblical lore, he did end up causing a lot of sinful things like fucking a human named Sarah or so I remember?

Again this is the same guy who humiliated Blitzø in Ozzie, S2 just rewrote him completely (btw, in my rewrite I'mma change him to be more evil and instead give the whole "lovey-dovey Sin" idea to Satan who is female and thinks Asmodeu's "fake-love" is like a slap in the fact to her idea of realistic and true romance)

I'd just feel like Fizz would be better off with Blitzø tbh or Striker or all in a threesome... the possibilities are endless, and why is the show making love seem too fairytale and unrealistic?! Like Blitzø shouldn't have to fuck Stolas just because he was his arranged playmate for just one day??? The show did the childhood friends trope dirty and would be better if Stoliz was a thing until mid-teens broke up for [insert reason] and reconnect but honestly, Stolas should've had his own seperate season/arc dedicared to himself if HB was an anthology show

Also the fact that Asmodeus couldn't just burn the contract, one-shot the lawyer and go on a rampage to save Fizz is just beyond me... the Sins are supposed to be these scary demon lords so why aren't they, hm?

Sorry for rambling and what do you think or want to add?

Absolutely here you go.

The consistent failure of Vivziepop is to commit to a mature story. She describes her own protagonists as "Deeply flawed but understandably traumatized people who just need love to fix them" while the villains of her shows are "irredeemable" (and women, but that's a tangent).

I mentioned before that trying to use the excuse of the setting being Hell and playing that out to the logical conclusion would end up exactly like Good Omens. The whole moral of said show being that imperfect humanity is worth saving, that life is worthy and beautiful for its own sake of existence. That is why the story of Good Omens uses the Bible, angels, and demons to tell it's story, to make that point.

Why is Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel set in Hell? What is being said by the plot, themes and story? So far we have that demons are better people than the Angels in Hazbin. That sacrifice is the only virtue worthy of redemption and thus reinforces backwards Christian ideals of penance.

Personally, I would have made Hell less absurd. Less a place of debauchery and chaos and more a mere continuation of life. We see in the Hazbin Pilot a character falls from the sky and says "I'm alive?" Before being hot by Travis' car. The point being that people just transition from one life to the next and in that they keep living life the way they always have.

My personal criticisms of the series' use of Hell is that it established this idea that people only behave if they have a god to fear. Once in Hell, there is no salvation, so why bother. It's like a Christian asking an atheist why they wouldn't commit murder if they don't believe in God. The answer is that people like order and security. People dying would seek to maintain their status quo from life. A lack of salvation wouldn't change that for them.

And frankly, I wouldn't have redemption be a thing. This story and its messages are actively devalued by the act of redeeming sinners when the Angels are just the same as them. By having Hell just be a warped continuation of life on Earth, it makes the message more universal: Life is Hell. Life is suffering in a way Hell can never hope to be. Physical anguish and torment for all eternity can never amount to the pain of the fleeting and the terror of change and uncertainty.

I would have made it impossible to be redeemed because the fact is, regardless what you believe happens after death, what we know we have is life. We fear death so much we have created salvation throughout history, the wish to keep living forever in some way. But, especially for young people, life is harder now than ever before. It's more terrifying and uncertain and cruel and uncaring.

So if life is Hell, how do you be happy?

That would have been my thesis for the show. The message underneath is all about finding happiness in the absence of salvation. Even the idea that maybe salvation is something we should reject to really feel what it means to be alive. Giving up on our deaths and seeking our own fulfillment, and in that finding community, love, and hope. To see true humanity as something selfish and kind at the same time.

That's how I would have taken the concept.

[beezlub]

a scarf won’t hide much || S.S x MC

a/n: this is entirely unproofread so excuse that. this has been rotting in my brain for the last week or so, and i needed to get it out before continuing my other works lolol. it ended up being a lot longer than i expected but eh i’m not complaining

tags: slightly suggestive themes, sebs can’t apply makeup for sh!t, overall just very fluffy. seb and mc are in their ?? 7th ?? year? something like that idk i didn’t really have a year in mind but it’s def when they’re older than 17. leander slander (i’m sorry)(not really)

wc: 1.9k

likes and reblogs greatly appreciated :)

“seb, what’s on your neck?”

shit was the first thing that came to mind when he heard your voice in his ear. luckily, the great hall was mostly empty at this time, most students not wanting to get up so early in the dead of winter, wanting to savor the remaining bits of heat embedded in their blankets. you two, on the other hand, took this to your advantage. a quiet meal together in the mornings is just what you both needed more often than not with the chaos going around the school and hamlets, you off on your broom when you didn’t have classes, and sebastian in the undercroft or library, adding books to the every-growing list he thought you’d like.

“it’s, it’s nothing, love. how’s your eggs? they’re delicious today, oh and the sausage. if you won’t eat yours, i will, along with your pumpkin juice too,” sebastian could feel his cheeks burning, prying his gaze away from your curious one. he knew his sticks were limited; you could read him like an open book, and according to a tangent you’d gone on a few months back, rambling on about something insignificant was a key sign the teen was attempting to lie about.

“you’re a terrible liar, and a worse boyfriend for trying to lie to me,” you mused, a smirk coming to your face as you twisted around to get a better view of the awfully orange section of skin on his neck. as if he felt your eyes on his neck, sebastian brought his unoccupied hand up, covering his neck in a feeble attempt to hide the blotchiness. letting out a groan, you gripped his forearm, ignoring the heat coming to your cheeks as you felt the muscle underneath his robes flex from your touch as you tried to pry away his hand. “seb! let me see! please,” you pleaded with the brunette, continuing to tug what seemed like your whole body weight down on his arm, but to your dismay, he didn’t even budge a centimetre. “if it’s a bruise from quidditch, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, love. it happens!”

letting out a groan of his own, sebastian shook his head, his fingers clamped down on his scarf and around his neck, his other hand idly pushing around the breakfast on his plate as he tried to ignore your assault of questions and comforts. how could he even begin to tell you that the awfully covered bruises on his neck were from you. his hardworking, intelligent, sweet girlfriend. he couldn’t break it to you; if he knew you as well as he hoped he did after half a year of dating, you’d be mortified at your actions from last night. a hot and heavy make out session in the room of requirement led to more than tousled hair, unbuttoned, and untucked shirts. it had led to your lips on his neck, legs wrapped around his waist as he was just putty in your hands after not seeing him properly for almost a week. ‘sickeningly sweet lovebirds' is what ominis had called you two with a fake gag when you had first started going out, and the name only became more true as the weeks flew by. now, it seemed as if you couldn’t go more than a few hours without reappearing by the other’s side, glued at the hip. amit had said you guys were star crossed lovers long before an official confession was even made from you (who was tired of sebastian’s flirtatious banter and his lack of balls to ask you out properly. you threatened him that you’d go out with prewett if he didn’t cough up an answer soon enough), and there you were last night, too caught up in each other to realise the fog that had consumed both your brains.

“MC, it’s. it’s not from quidditch,”

“then what is it from? ominis finally rocked your world with his duelling skills?” you snickered as sebastian glared at you, only for it to soften as he saw the joy in your eyes.

“something like that, i suppose.”

“wait- it wasn’t from anne was it? was she sick of your awful jokes finally and decided to take revenge?” you faked a surprised gasp, erupting into a fit of giggles as sebastian elbowed you gently in the side.

“my joke are not awful, i’ll have you know. got professor sharp to laugh at one the other day!”

“yes, dear, i know. we’ve been in the same potions class for how long now?”

“when will you stop piercing this beating heart, oh love,” sebastian let out a theatrical gasp, his hand moving from his neck unconsciously as he clutched the fabric over his heart, his head falling back to match his dramatical action. taking the opportunity, you yanked down his scarf, a nasty shade line of purple and blue hues ran down the column of his neck, and you suppressed a gasp as you tenderly ran a finger down his neck.

“sebastian! who did this to you? oh, merlin, i’m going to have their chin at the end of my wand for hurting you like this!” the anger was evident in your voice, and as much as sebastian liked seeing this rare, possessive side of you, he couldn’t hold the truth back from you any longer. you were right, he was an awful liar, and even worse at keeping things to himself.

“MC, calm down, please,” he whispered, grasping your wrist gently as he looked around the hall, making sure nobody’s prying eyes were on the two of you before yanking you off the bench and dragging you to the floo flames. before you could spew more nasty things about yourself unknowingly, he had you both inside the room of requirement. turning to face you, he could practically see the steam coming out of your ears, and he bit down a smile at the pout you had on your face. “do you really want to know?” he asked you, watching you frantically bob your head up and down.

“what kind of question is that! yes, sebastian sallow, i would in fact, love to know who did this to you! fighting with wands is one thing, but getting into a physical altercation with another student is another thing! i should go to professor weasley about this, or merlin, even professor black! they should have a week’s worth of detention, or even expelled!” sebastian could only watch with an amused look on his face as you paced right in front of him, throwing your hands up in the air every once in a while while your boots clacked on the stone of the floor. once you seemed to get most of your anger out in a verbal way, he let out a laugh. “what’s so funny, sallow? being beaten up sure isn’t, and from the looks of it, you didn’t even put up a fight! your knuckles are perfectly healed, and you don’t have any breaks on your face like you’d had when i first came.”

“you’re right, love. i didn’t put up a fight. i actually enjoyed this assault,” he watched as your jaw dropped, a smirk playing on his lips. oh, it was truly amusing to see you being so naive and forgetful.

“sebastian sallow! have you finally lost what little brain cells you have left?” you stood on your tip-toes and rattled your knuckles against his forehead, internally relieved that his brain wasn’t missing.

“you see that couch over there?” he pointed at the leather couch you had, pushed against the wall, giving a good view of the christmas tree you’d set up in the middle of the room. nodding to his question, he continued. “that’s where i was assaulted, per se.”

“but- how? only you and professor weasley know about this place. and deek, but i doubt he’d do anything to you.” sebastian was having way too much fun with this, the look of confusion and worry etched onto your features only fueled the fire in him.

“it was this awfully pretty witch who did it. she had let her hair out of her bun, and i was completely thrown off by her, having never seen it down. and her hands were all over me too, never once leaving my body. sat on my lap and everything.”

“sebastian! not only did you get assaulted, you, you cheated on me?” maybe he pushed it too far now, realising the pain in your voice and the tears pooling in your waterline. sighing, he ran a hand through his hair before looking back at you.

“MC, you are dim. it was you, love. you are the witch who assaulted me, and supposedly should get a week’s worth of detention or even expulsion.” it took a few moments for the gears to turn in your brain before it all clicked, and sebastian had a front row seat to this show. your face turned scarlet in a few mere seconds, and you’d let out a series of incomprehensible words before covering your red face with your hands. a few apologies were strewn out too, though barely audible beneath your hands and you tried to hide yourself away from the man. laughing, sebastian grasped your wrists, prying them away from your face only to be met with your teary eyes and a furious blush.

“i’m- i’m so sorry sebastian! i didn’t mean to! i-i swear!” you hiccuped a few times, and it only made sebastian laugh more as he pulled you into his chest.

“oh, my sweet witch. whatever am i going to do with you?” he asked to nobody, wrapping an arm around your waist and the other around your shoulders.

“you-you aren’t mad?” you looked up at him, and his heart melted at your sorrowed expression.

“love, i am the furthest thing from mad. i quite enjoyed myself last night, and you seemed to as well, if those little breathy moans were anything to go by,” he shot a wink down at you, and you pushed his chest away from you, pouting once again.

“you aren’t funny, sallow.”

“i meant it dear. although, it would be nice for me to pay back the favor,” his voice lingered in the air as he withdrew his arms, instead interlocking your fingers together as he tugged you towards the couch.

“seb?..” you were confused, intrigued but confused as he plopped back on the couch, pulling you into his lap as you let out a yelp from the surprise.

“my little witch deserves some affection too, don’t you think?” his breath was hot on your neck, and any thoughts lingering in your brain vanishes as you felt his lips on your neck, peppering the skin in light kisses before they grew more hot.

“i-i hurt you, seb,” you breathed out, hand on his chest as he resumed his arms around your waist, bringing you closer to his chest, his lips not leaving your neck for a moment.

“quite the contrary, dear. if anything, i should be thanking you. finally got some fifth year off my ass because of your..handiwork, and i think i should return the favor, seeing how prewett has been eyeing you again recently,” you could feel the smirk on his lips as he spoke against you skin, and instead of arguing, you just nodded along. “good,” was all he said before a harsh nip came at your throat, finally understanding what he meant by him wanting to return the favor. “after i’m done with you, i’m afraid a scarf won’t hide much, MC.”

[catboybiologist]

i just had a moment

i wonder how many people on this were, in a way, saved from an alt-right pipeline by realizing and accepting that they're queer.

like 12-13 year old me was going on like /pol/ and shit before the dysphoria hit

just makes you think

Oh yay this is causing me to ramble

I think that being targeted by some form of radicalization was genuinely part of the reality of being a white kid online in the 200Xs to 201Xs.

I don't think I was fully on that pipeline, but I was 3000% an obnoxious neolib atheist as a teenager. The kind of person that describes themselves as "socially progressive, economically conservative", engaged with MRA stuff online with shallow "but what about men" sentiments, thought many protests had "the right idea, but are too extreme, we should just debate", and generally considered myself better than everyone else because of how "smart" and "rational" I was.

You know the type. This was when I was like... 14-17yo. And before you scoff at it being "dumb teenage shit", the alt right targeted those people, at that age and time, hard. I turned 18 in 2016, and that election was my first, coming right off of an online climate relentlessly trying to radicalize kids... So yeah, it was weird.

I feel like the ones that didn't become alt right gradually slid into leftism. Usually, the "revelation" moment was when you're excluded. You realize a lot of these people's "rationality" is based on irrational biases that they're dressing up as "logic", and it all crumbles. PoC and other minoritized groups are excluded form the start, of course, but since being queer is something that doesn't awaken until a bit later in life, it creates a kind of unique experience of potentially falling down that hole, until you realize you can't be a part of it.

But also to be fair... the same environment that caused a lot of the radicalization also fostered a lot of the communities we love. Modern "breadtube", as annoying as that term is, is an offshoot of this as well. Beyond just a few online-famous people, there's larger circles of leftist communities that have organized and done real, active good. I still carry some streaks of that stuff around, and I'm probably less extreme than most terminally online queer leftist circles. But idk. A bit of that weird, "rational worship" online vibe has done good, even if it's also done a lot of harm.

Honestly, everything I'm talking about here is extremely well summarized by Contrapoint's tangent about New Atheism. It's a Patreon exclusive, but it's a topic I saw myself reflected in a lot.

If my ramble here is shitty/incomplete and feels like I'm being apologetic or trying to excuse the alt right, that's an error in communication, not my actual intent- I hope that's clear.

[androdragynous]

tell me something about your art. fucking love the recent sharp angles.

thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble I love you. kiss

this is going to be a long post but I think it's important so I'm leaving it as a normal post and not a read more

I wrote more words and changed my mind because I got distracted a bunch of times by talking to myself. Enjoy

my own works in general have always been like. The Way By Which I Interact With The World which I think is a pretty common artist experience. my fan art tended to focus on my own characters in those settings rather than on the existing characters because of that, to my younger self's chagrin at times (the desire to Appeal To Fandom was much stronger in my younger years, which I think is also pretty typical). so there was always that lens of, like, these characters aren't me, but they could have been, in some way, or at least when viewed at certain angles. first guy is dealing with the same shit, second guy is doing some gender stuff baby me won't unpack for another five years, you get the idea.

and then the whole disability thing ramped up a few notches and everything went to shit, which is to say, for a really long time there I couldn't so much as look at art without pain, let alone long enough to create it. I did not have the tools to accomodate that disability or the finances to get them, and so for a really long time I was basically cut off from... what honestly felt like my ability to connect with people.

this sucked very badly in many ways. it's still not back to where it was before things got worse, but I'm happy with where it's been recently. I don't know how much of that is connected to getting a blood transfusion and the affiliated correction to my quantity of blood. I don't know how much of it is just pure desperation to reconnect with a world that I feel estranged from. We will come back to this point because I have a different tangent first:

I really don't like vent art. I don't like making it, I don't like posting it, and I don't like seeing it. I understand why people make it - I understand why I do - but there's a very harsh rawness to it that feels inappropriate as a viewer. It's voyeuristic; it's a look into something incredibly deeply personal hurt and an equally deep and genuine desire to have that hurt seen, validified, comforted.

I do not think vent art is bad to create or share, to be clear. The fact it makes me uncomfortable does not illegitimize it. Could honestly strengthen its reason for existing, to be quite honest.

The line blurs with disability, though, and this is where we come back to the original tangent, because to talk about disability that cannot be cured will innately be seen as venting. It's basically inevitable, in my experience. You're supposed to want to get better. You're supposed to hate existing like this. So if you mention it, to people who haven't either been in the same boat or who haven't taken the time to work through their own baggage about it, it's innately a vent. It's innately a hurt that you're burdening them with, a hurt that you want recognized and helped. My family members have been particularly bad about this viewpoint, but so have friends and medical professionals. So have strangers. I find it akin to arguments against gay public displays of affection; two men holding hands is sexual, using a mobility aid is pitiable. You get me? There's that innate sense that you, as the person watching a disabled person be disabled, should be feeling something about it, and if it's not inspiration porn, obviously you're meant to be sad. If it wasn't clear, this is the description of a train of thought that I believe is entirely incorrect.

Anyways. So disability art ends up grouped as vent art if you talk about it sucking at all, even if the suck is about the barriers presented by society and not the disability itself. I can, of course, only speak for my own experience, which is what this post is about, so my situation is very much barriers-focused.

People really, really aren't good at dealing with the discomfort part, what I detailed as the emotions I feel around vent art. People don't know what to do when you don't want help, or their help doesn't help (for whatever reason), or basically in any situation where you can't actually fix things, which is a lot of Being Disabled. It's hard to sit with that discomfort, especially when it's about a person's vulnerability. People want to help others, generally, in my experience, and it's difficult to not be able to when it's someone you care about.

Which all ties back into the voyeurism; to be visibly disabled is to be a spectacle. This has also been pretty inevitable, in my experience. Being in a wheelchair draws attention. Using a cane draws attention. Wearing an eye patch draws attention. So on and so forth. Sometimes this is great - people will offer their chairs to me sometimes if I'm using my cane, for example, which I appreciate - and sometimes it is less great.

This ties in, for me, with the part people REALLY don't like talking about, which is sex and sexuality. How do you date when you can't go out to many places? How do you get to know someone when you live with others and can't invite them over? How do you look sexy when you feel and kind of look like a corpse? These are all questions I'd love to know the answers to, because I'm shit out of luck on figuring it out so far, and that's not even touching on the actual sex, because I don't want to get this post filtered if I can help it. There's a balance, right, of being visible on purpose by flirting, dressing up, going out, making an impact, that is both directly overlapping with and directly opposed to the inevitable visibility of visible disability. They juxtapose magnificently, in a kind of sun and moon during an eclipse sort of way, you get me? You have to lean into it. You have to make yourself comfortable in that visibility because it's inevitable, and you are going to inevitably be viewed as a spectacle because you've leaned into it, and you're never going to be viewed as sexual because nobody will ever distinguish that there are two kinds of visibility being done, here.

And THAT I think is where my art is at right now, trying to convey that overlap. I do not think I have been subtle about it - it's loud colors, sharp lines, layers of vandalism over the original draft, a kind of intentional obscuration that implies many others were drawn to leave their mark there. You know? But because of What It Is, I do think it causes discomfort in the overlap. It's supposed to. It's inevitable that it would. I think being disabled is overtly sexual in the way being gay is overtly sexual in the way being trans is overtly sexual, in that none of them are but none of them aren't, either, in the right contexts or the wrong ones. People are going to see you exist and come to their own conclusions about how wrong you must feel in existing, and they will be made uncomfortable by that perception, and they will want to fix you. You have to accept that or you have to be uncomfortable right back. There's not really a third option that keeps you alive. This is all connected to the art, because the art is also inherently sexual, for approximately the same reasons.

So the tldr is "op is it weird if I think this is hot" is both the intended response and yes, it is weird, and you have to sit with the fact that both of those are true and you have to be normal about it for the rest of your life forever, and also you should take that knowledge and get weirder about it. It's a complex system. I also may have described none of it. Good luck.