#exclusionists are at it again everyone!!!!

[rjalker]

how do you outright admit in your own words that you plan to "bully" aroace, non-SAM aros and aces out of the community and think this is proof that you're a good person and your exclusionist hate campaign is totally justified this time, really bro, it's for a good cause, they're dangerous invaders this time, we swear!!!!

[chaos-in-one]

When someone tags your post with 'anti bi lesbian' when you, and the post you made, were not, in fact, against (and the post was not about) bi lesbians

[luckyladylily]

So like, transandrophobia.

To start this out, I am a trans woman, been around in the queer community for a while. I'm also bisexuality, polyamorous, disabled, and aromantic, and I think these other parts of my identity and the crap I've caught over the years for them heavily informs how I analyze something like transandrophobia. My wife is also asexual, so that plays a part in it too.

So every group of marginalized people has their own unique experiences and problems. It's more of a rule than something we've mathematically demonstrated, but as far as these things go it's ridiculously well established, and personally every time I've done even a basic dive into the issues faced by a marginalized group it's been self evident. I could easily list a dozen groups ranging from racial minorities to different kinds of disabled people to different queer identities and analyze their social issues but let's be real, this is pretty well established theory, anyone who needs me to do that is not really interacting with good faith. This is one of the big reasons we talk to people about their own experiences and groups, we cannot reasonably extrapolate the experiences of others from our own.

So like trans men and trans mascs and anyone else that falls under that umbrella has their unique experiences. The idea that we would even question this is weird to me? Like I can't even imagine the kind of evidence someone would need to present to me to change my mind, and given the pattern of the queer community to be shitty in exactly this way to people in our community, yeah that is not happening.

Therefore, we are taking it for granted that the trans men/masc/related umbrella has their own things going on like everyone else ever, and I don't understand how someone acting in good faith can try to claim otherwise unless they are young or otherwise very inexperienced with such things.

The next point of contention seems to be the name, and I gotta be real I don't care and I don't understand why other people do. I've read all sorts of arguments against the word transandrophobia and the majority of them seem to be rooted in a misunderstanding of intersectionality, and even then it's like there is such a thing where people get so mired in theory that they miss the forest for the trees.

Perhaps more important to me, getting overly worked up about something as unimportant as the precise term is... weird. Like exclusionists hating on bi and ace people weird. I remember what it was like a decade ago when exclusionists were trying to police the words of bi women, and five years ago when ace and aro people were under constant attack under the pretense that our language was harmful for some reason or other. You are going to have to work very, very, very hard to convince me that any bickering over language as it relates to transandrophobia is not just more of the same.

Next, "transandrobros hate trans femmes" and similar stuff. I've seen the callout posts and found them completely unconvincing. Again, they read a lot like the old "ace people hate lesbians!" posts I used to see. I'm not convinced that the individuals involved were a problem, I am certainly not able to extrapolate a problem to the rest of the group.

Finally, there is this idea that "maleness is not a vector for oppression" and this invalidates something about the whole transandrophobia thing, ranging from the entire concept of trans men experiencing prejudice to something about language being imprecise all the way to "This is fascist shit, omg these people are basically nazis" depending on who says it. I'm not going to touch any of that and just look at the underlying logic.

This is based off a misunderstanding of intersectionality theory. Many people think of intersectionality as defining intersecting prejudice, like a ven diagram, such that transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. This is incorrect. Intersectionality defines unique prejudice experienced by people with intersecting identities. Instead of a transmisogyny as the overlap of transphobia and misogyny, imagine adding a third circle that overlaps both but also has its own areas covered by neither.

Applied to transandrophobia, even if we assume maleness is not a vector for oppression, there is no reason to assume that the intersection of maleness with a marginalized identity doesn't result in new issues. Imagine that 3 circle venn diagram that represents misogyny, transphobia, and transmisogyny. Even if you remove the misogyny circle there is still plenty of ground covered by the transmisogyny circle.

This just isn't a valid criticism. It is a pure theory approach based on a flawed reading of theory.

So in summary:

Everyone has their unique shit going on and I've seen no convincing evidence that trans men, mascs, etc. Are the exception.

I not seen any convincing argument that the word itself is bad.

I've not seen any convincing evidence that there is some epidemic of transandrophobia truthers hating and harassing trans femmes on scales higher than normal background queer infighting.

The most coherent objection to transandrophobia I've seen is categorically incorrect and based on a fundamental misunderstanding of intersectionality theory.

I would like to remind everyone at this point I am a trans woman, part of the group that is supposedly a problem for and I've just not see it at all, to the point where it is kind of weird how intensely some people are pushing this.

I'm not trying to be mean or whatever, I'm sure the distress on display here comes from a real place and real trauma, but I've yet to see anything that makes me think there is substance to the objections to transandrophobia as a concept. It feels and reads like the latest round of queer intracommunity exclusionism, and the fact that this time around I'm not one of the target identities doesn't change that for me.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Day 1 of shipping Noah and Jamie until Jamie admits exceptions exist

You disgust me. On day 2 I’m blocking you but today I’m shitting on you so hard.

You are an awful exclusionist aphobe. You do not belong here and this is not a safe place for you. I sincerely hope to never see you again and I hope that your blog is swallowed up by tumblr. Face me like a women and show your face. Hiding behind anon does nothing when I can still block you.

And for your information, yes I know exceptions exist, I’m saying stop assuming they exist for everyone.

I don’t have an exception and just never will. I’m romance repulsed and you genuinely make me sick

[the-indigo-symphony]

I wish all "aplatonics aren't queer or aspec, they don't experience anything like us" aplaphobes a very "do everything 'right' in a friendship for several months on end only to feel nothing and wonder what the fuck you did wrong. when you look at your friend group you know they have something you don't, something that makes them actually enjoy each other's company and seek it out and just click, rather than having to make an active choice over and over and over again to do what friends are supposed to do, act like how a friend is supposed to, why isn't this working why don't you feel anything why is it that even your very best effort doesn't fucking work. what did you do wrong. what does it even mean to be someone's friend when you can do everything right and still not feel anything for the people you've tried so hard to be friends with? everyone says friends are important and your family keeps asking about if you've made any friends and you want to say yes you want to make them happy you want them to stop asking questions but you feel nothing. nothing. nothing. it's been months and you've been the perfect friend and you've done everything right and still you feel nothing. you still don't have whatever it is your 'friends' have and you're beginning to suspect you never will. you're beginning to wonder what they have and you don't. you're beginning to wonder why you bother at all when months of work fizzle out into nothing. you're beginning to wonder if you're the problem."

I wish all aplatonic exclusionists a very "learn about aplatonic hurt before you open your mouth".

[radinclus-not-radqueer]

Radqueers are a cult.

I am a cult survivor, I have been one far before I was in the radqueer community. As a cult survivor, the radqueer community IS a cult. If you've never been in the community, and have only been an outside observer, it's understandable that you wouldn't realize this, but claiming radqueers are "just assholes" is a slap in the face to people like me who have been permanently traumatized by them.

Here is a commonly used model of how cults work:

If you go through every single point in this, the radqueer community checks almost every one of them. People have already pointed this out many times before, however I will explain it again for people who haven't seen those posts.

(Skipping over ones that don't fully apply or that I haven't personally experienced. Most of these are pretty brief because I don't think anyone will read an entire essay for every point)

Rigid rules - radqueers force you to include everyone and everything, and never question what you're accepting lest you get labeled as "not a real radqueer" and harassed. You must accept any and all predatory relationships, or you'll receive the same treatment as "antis". If that isn't "rigid rules", I don't know what is.

Rewards and punishments - you coin a term people like, or make an "I love pro-cs" post? Everyone likes you, praises you, sends you asks telling you how amazing you are! You dare to question anything about the community? You get cast out, banned from servers, harassed, sent death threats, and doxxed.

Dependence and obedience - radqueers make their victims believe that this is the only community that will accept them. They say that every other community will hate them for their identity, and this is the only "real radinclus" community. This causes people to feel trapped there, or in other words become entirely dependent on the community for validation and support. They convince people that if they leave, or do anything wrong that causes them to be forced out, they'll have nowhere to go. This forces them into obedience for fear of being left all alone and being completely abandoned.

Deception - this one is very, very obvious. There's a reason why radqueers label themselves as "radically inclusive", "pro-consent", "pro-bodily autonomy" - they are not just saying these things because they don't understand what they mean. They're intentionally using uplifting, inclusive language that sounds really great and supportive to deceive people into joining them. This is also why they use emoji codes, so other radqueers will recognize them but people who don't know what radqueers are will be lured into their trap.

Propaganda - pretty similar to the above. They label everything as "radical inclusion" and tell people that they have to support all these things to be "truly inclusive". They make cute flags and emoji codes to make grooming, abuse, racism, ableism, and transphobia seem cool and fun, to further lead people into their trap. By definition, propaganda is "information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view". All these cutesy emojis, symbols, flags, and terms are propaganda.

Discourages access to outside sources of information - radqueers constantly say that all science, psychology, and medical information is "biased" and "bigoted". If you provide them with any information on how what they're doing is wrong, they pull out any number of excuses and then tell their "friends" how bigoted and exclusionist the source is. This makes it seem like radqueers are the only reliable source of information, and anything else is untrustworthy.

Insider/outsider doctrine - this is painfully clear with how they refer to everyone who disagrees with them as "antis". Even if you're just an outside observer, you pick up on this quickly.

All/nothing, good/evil, us/them dogma - once again, they refer to anyone who differs even slightly in opinion as an "anti" or "anti in training", and the second anyone decides to question why they're literally supporting nazis and blackface, they get labeled as an "anti" and "horrible person". They play the victim any time they get told that what they're doing is wrong, while crying and complaining about how much they're harassed and about how "mean" and "rude" anti-radqueers are.

Feeling chosen or special - radqueers very obviously convince themselves that they're so unique and special, which is why terms like transship or transhasapetcat exist. They want to seem really cool and special, and make completely normal things into obscure, "special" identities, like calling yourself translivesintheuk instead of just saying you wanna move to the UK. As someone who's been in their servers, they hoard identities like this because it makes them feel temporarily special and unique, which makes them convinced that what they're doing is right.

Guilt/manipulation - radqueers do this all the time. When someone says they aren't sure if they support something or not, radqueers immediately get all teary-eyed and upset, claiming that the person would be "basically an anti" if they decided not to support it. I've even seem someone cry and complain over being rejected by an anti-transnazi radqueer and claim that it was "ableist" that the person rejected them. Everyone defended and comforted the person who was rejected, immediately siding with them for fear of being "ableist", saying that it was wrong to be against literal nazis. This is very clear manipulation and guilt-tripping.

Phobia indoctrination - phobia indoctrination is where people in the cult make others terrified of leaving for fear of being hurt, killed, etc. As I've explained earlier, radqueers try to scare people into staying by saying that if they leave the community, no one will ever support or love them, and they'll never be accepted outside of it. People who went into the radqueer community after being anti-radqueer know firsthand how awful the harassment, doxxing, and death threats from radqueers are. People in the community who have doubts are very clearly too scared to leave, and people who don't have doubts have been convinced that no one will ever love them except for radqueers.

Anyways, I hope that this clears up how the radqueer community is a cult! Feel free to add on with your own experiences or additions, and please stop invalidating and shaming survivors.

[corporatecoinings]

DRAGONQUEER/DRAGONPUNK

Emojicode : 🐲🌈🔥/ 🐉🌈🔥

LINK TO THE OFFICIAL DRAGONQUEER/DRAGONPUNK CARRD

A new label! Dragonqueer/dragonpunk (either name works, same thing!) is a queer stance about not being afraid to show how prideful you are about yourself, not being afraid to show yourself, or at least have a desire to want to express how you TRULY are and give the bird to the societal norm standards and those that hate you, existing to spite them; dragonqueer/dragonpunk beings can still live in caves (be closeted) too, however. A major aspect to dragonqueer/dragonpunk is also hoarding a shit ton of labels that describe yourself! Dragons love their hoards :) 

Due to history of dragons, they are seen as either evil and terrifying or benevolent and kind. Dragonqueer/dragonpunk aims to be both; be punk, be scary, be yourself, be unforgiving for who you are while also being a kind-hearted and loving being. There are dragons of all kind; western, easter, wyverns, wyrms, hydras, and so there is too in queer communities. Whichever kind of dragon you are is completely up to you, and you alone; you decide who you are. 

Dragonqueer/dragonpunk supports/believes…

LGBTQ+, MOGAI, LIOM, etc.

Xenogenders, neopronouns, etc.

Neoagabs/xenoagabs

Good-faith labels

Systems of all origins

Arissomei, desirdae, chronosians, aldernic, aldersex, allions, vesil, vior, xenonatured, eiment, etc.

Otherkin, therians, non-humans, alterhumans, etc.

Neurodivergent, mentally ill, disabled beings

Beings with munchausen's syndrome, factitious disorders, etc.

Hypersexuals 

Gender hoarders / gender collectors 

Multigender / polygender / etc.

Safe and anti-contact paraphiles (not acting on illegal shit??? This should make sense.. If its harmful. Dont act on it.)

Microlabels

Atypical dysphoria

PLUR

M-spec lesboys, turigirls, etc.

Contradictory labels

Systemarchy 

Pluralpunk/systempunk

Furries

Age/pet regressors

MAD pride

Reclaiming labels you can reclaim (queer, dyke, fag, freak, etc.)

Anti-psychiatry

Being endogenic/willogenic is not the same thing as being “transplural”

Educated self-diagnosis

Fiction affects reality

You can be trans without dysphoria

You can be a system without trauma

OC x canon is epic as long as its legal

Objectum and robosexuals

Supporting ex-cops, ex-gov, ex-military, ex-radqueers, ex-transids, etc. that have left their community and wish to recover

Abortion rights, womens rights, animal rights, etc.

Atheism

Kink at pride (when there are no bodily minors)

BDSM (as long as everyone consents and there are no bodily minors)

recovering/ex-religious beings

Consentual recovery for those that want it 

Supporting victims 

Dragonqueer/dragonpunk does NOT support/believe...

Harmful and pro-contact / neu-contact zoophiles, pedophiles, necrophiles, etc. (yet again if its harmful dont fucking do it)

Minors in nsfw communities, minors in kink, or having public kink where minors are around

That “all men should die” or “all women should die”

Harassing innocent cishets

Active radqueers and transids/transx

Terf, radfem, transmed, sysmed, etc. views

Harmful religion

Demonizing or stigmatizing disorders

Singlets in syscourse

“Superstraight”

Heavy political views, such as conservative and liberal

Proshippers, comshippers, darkshippers, etc. (how hard is it to say no illegal, abusive, etc. ships holy shit)

Lolicons and shotas

Racism or prejudice of ANY kind

Ableism

Forced recovery

Mental asylums

Exclusionists

Bigots

Dragonqueer/dragonpunk is neutral on...

Religion in general (dragonqueer/dragonpunk is inherently atheist)

catqueer

THIS IS THE OFFICIAL DRAGONQUEER/DRAGONPUNK. PEOPLE THAT WANT TO "RECLAIM" THIS LABEL WILL BE FACED WITH FIRE !!!

@ghosting-plural-userboxes thought you'd wanna see this, just comment if you want us to remove your tag from this post ^-^

[humunanunga]

Plurality, endogenesis and sysmedicalism.

Yeah no, I'm not done yet. Please bear with me for a word of caution.

So before making this post in reaction to seeing tulpa "systems" DNI, endo/endo-supporters DNI and non-traumagenic systems/supporters DNI across three fandom tags so far, I asked the systems I know if this was as Transmed But For Systems as it looked to an outsider. That was when I learned endo-exclusionists are called sysmeds.

Now, if you've been on Tumblr in the 2020s, you likely already know what plurality is. If you don't, it refers to an internal experience of living as multiple people who may take turns fronting– and together with whomever would be designated the "host," they are called a system. It used to be widely called split personality or multiple personality disorder, but as it stands currently, I don't think psychiatry yet recognizes a distinction between headmates, such as in plurality, and alters, such as in dissociative identity disorder (DID). The two can coexist, but not everyone with DID is plural, and not every plural has DID.

Which brings us to traumagenesis and endogenesis. Traumagenic systems or headmates, as the term suggests, have been caused by traumatic events, either acute or chronic, as is commonly the case with DID. Endogenesis, on the other hand, is a broad term for other causes. Tulpamancy, the deliberate formation of a headmate, is one example, but traumagenic systems can include endogenic headmates and vice-versa, and endogenic systems or headmates may also be caused by, for just one example, the same neurological processes that cause delusions or hallucinations. Which is to say, they're not making it up or following a trend, but the causes for endogenic plurality are more varied, and thus may simply not yet be as well-researched or as widely understood as another common cause.

So, how do you know whether someone's system is endogenic or traumagenic? Well, what if the systems themselves don't know if they're endo? What if a system who identifies as endo doesn't know they're traumagenic? How far would you be willing to invade someone's privacy to try to tell apart an endogenic system from a traumagenic system?

Before I continue, I myself am not plural, not to my knowledge. What I am is close to multiple plurals, both locally and across group chats. So I consulted them for this post:

And now that we've hopefully cleared up some misconceptions, some presumptions maybe, I'll get to the point.

I have been on Tumblr since early 2012, late 2011. Years before I knew I was trans, I was here through the prevalence of transmedicalism, and the damage exclusionism did, keeping far more trans people in the closet than were protected from radfems, by repeating the same excuses transphobic doctors give to deny resources.

Bigots don't mistreat plurals for why you're plural, they mistreat you for being plural. Whether you've been mistreated for your plurality is not the fault of other plurals.

People of Tumblr, do not do that shit again with sysmedicalism. Do not reenact 2010s Tumblr. You would not be protecting anyone if you did this, you would be acting as someone else other plurals need protection from.

[velvetvexations]

Some morrrrre enby takes, plus one about the concept of binary privilege, and as a reminder to be safe...

Disrespecting yourself is when you use the term you actively prefer apparently. It would be much more respectful of me to call myself words that actively make me uncomfortable.

"Grown ass adults should not be embracing immaturity" Wow, absolute dogshit take. Why not? Why are adults not allowed to embrace 'childish' things? Why does it matter how other people refer to themselves, it literally does not effect you if other adults use words or like things that you (general you) think are too childish. I myself am in my 30s and that just sounds to me like more of the same garbage that's always been shoved down everyone's throats about how fun stops at adulthood, no watching shows aimed at kids or having stuffed animals or wearing fun clothes because if you do no one with take you Seriously. No calling yourself a boy or a girl or an enby because those are baby words for babies and letting someone call you that is allowing yourself to be disrespected. Like I'm sorry but that's also the same logic others use to misgender me when I say I use it/it's pronouns, that to them it's disrespectful so I'm really the problem for preferring it. I cannot stress this enough, how other people define themselves and what words they feel comfortable with is none of your business and someone liking a word you don't is not a threat to you. Also like, some of us feel out of touch with our actual ages for one reason or another and may enjoy childish specifically because they're childish, and again, that isn't anyone's business but their own. You can hate being called something, you can want there to be more variety in what terms are commonly used to refer to nonbinaries as a group, you can tell people to not ever uses a specific word to refer to you, and you can be upset that a word you don't like is being used as a default, but you don't ever get to police how other people feel about it or what they call themselves. I am an adult who has never been able to really conceptualize myself as an adult or even a human due in large part to autism and ptsd, and I'm going to call myself an enby and an it regardless of other more Serious Adults are shaking their head and judging me for it, because my identity is for me, not for the approval of others. I didn't mean to go off quite that hard or get so worked up, sorry if that was too aggressive Velvet, I know you don't really have a horse in this race.

As a nonbinary man (as one of mnay mostly-fitting labels), I have deeply mixed feelings on the question of "is enby infantilizing as a default?" because, On the one hand, I understand the linguistic argument that it is on the grounds that many of the most common nouns that end in a long E sound are diminutives or otherwise "cutesy" (baby, puppy, kitty, cutie, mommy, daddy...) - even if the etymology isn't as infantilizing as some myths make it out to be, it doesn't exist in a vacuum with regards to existing language NOR with regards to common stereotypes of nonbinary people, and those things can DEFINITELY be argued to collide in a pretty unfortunate way, On the other hand, there are a lot of people - not everyone who makes the argument, but enough to be a derailing factor in the conversation - whose arguments against it DO come from exclusionist myths about etymology, or worse, "vibes" such that when you take even the slightest look under the surface you see that they've either internalized the stereotype that nonbinary people (other than themselves of course) are all just white teenage girls trying to be special, or at the very least they're letting that stereotype have WAY too much control over them, and often nearly get to the point of saying that ANYTHING other than the longform and almost clinical "nonbinary person" would be too infantilizing, But on the third, transhuman robot hand, well, isn't the line between "letting the stereotype have too much control" and "acknowledging the fact that the language doesn't exist in a vacuum and can have unfortunate implications due to how the sounds of English interact with that stereotype" kind of blurry in the first place? And on the fourth cyborg hand, we STILL haven't gotten the damned exclusionists who will argue for OR against it in bad faith to shut up! Personally I'm on board with the idea of "enban" and "enby" to have the same relationship as "woman" and "girl" + "man" and "boy" - references to the same category of genders, with the appropriate word chosen based on context and Vibes that are loosely but not entirely based on the age of the person in question - but I'm not super invested in the specifics; I like to study them more than direct them, so I'm not gonna be personally offended if that's not what takes off or anything.

i think enby is fine for the most part but as someone who has identified as genderqueer since before people started widely using nb it does bother me a little bit in the same way as a lot of language shifts around "other" genders that there's an assumption that everyone who uses them identifies with the term "nonbinary", which i honestly wouldn't mind as much as an umbrella term if it wasn't for the fact that a large driving force behind this shift was "you can't say genderqueer because queer is a slur and that's icky" (and also the most widely used nonbinary flag was created both because of this and because "too many afabs are genderqueer so it's not a welcoming label for transfems!!" (the person who coined genderqueer is transfem) and i know like nobody knows that anymore but it still stings)

As a black nonbinary person I never understood why nb had to just mean non black or non binary??? thats dumb. anything can be shorted to its starting/defining letters. thats like when people got mad at twitter/tiktok users for shortening white to yr to save space and they weee all like "thats youtube!!" its dumb and no one ever needed to act like they couldn't share a term when context will make it clear what youre talking about. enby is a perfectly grown up word that just fine to personally feel like it doesn't fit without implying that a term many adults comfortably use is infintalizing. just say you dont like it because its not accurate and ask people to use what works for you!

Yeah honestly the enby over NB conversation was... bad. And particularly galling as someone who is a) nonbinary and b) Australian Aboriginal because so much of the framing of it was this very American-centric, 'how fucking dare you not be aware of Black American conversations' vibe from the same people who scream and cry and piss themselves every time one of us calls ourselves Blak or says "hey if you're into omegaverse can you please not use the term a/b/o without the slashes, it's a pretty violent slur towards us" or rejects the term POC as not being relevant to our experience of racism on our own land or literally anything else about our oppression that doesn't centre American voices. It exposed a really ugly side to a lot of anti-racism advocates, many of whom *weren't even Black themselves but white 'allies'* and I really hope we're not about to rehash it just because some people don't like seeing 'enby'. I'm Australian. It's culturally impossible for me to spell out an entire word when there's a shortened nickname version available. Sorry.

“NB exclusively means nonblack” “enby came about as a result of black bloggers saying not to use it” wrong actually! It was a result of white saviors saying that black bloggers said not to use it: we never did ^-^ hope this helps!!

This whole discussion of 'binary privellege' has made me think more about my thoughts about the term privellege overall. I really think its about time we stop referring to marginalized groups as having privilege over one another. Like. I believe that transmisogyny, transandrophobia, and exorsexism are all real forms of oppression. Trans men, trans women, and nonbinary people experience oppression in forms that are often different from each other. But if two people each have privellege over the other in certain areas, doesn't that kind of just balance out to them being the same amount of privelleged? They should be able to talk about their own experiences and what makes them different, but trying to measure which marginalized group has privellege over another one just seems like a waste of time. As a nonbinary person, I face a lot of exorsexism. There's types of transphobia that I experience which the binary trans people around me generally don't. Does that mean they have binary privilege? Absolutely not! The oppression they face isn't better or worse, it's just different. That doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to talk about my experiences or have words to describe them. It doesn't mean my experiences aren't important or worth discussing. But I think framing the difference as 'privelege' inherently implies that my oppression is worse than theirs... and that's the problem. They aren't any better off than i am. We're both still facing bigotry, that bigotry just doesn't look exactly the same. Anyway sorry if this is rambly or doesn't make sense. Brain fog is fucking me up right now but hopefully I've managed to edit it enough to be somewhat coherent. This may or may not be my 5th attempt at writing this ask but at least I THINK it makes sense this time

[fumifooms]

Typing the nightmares bit here made me think again about how Dunmeshi is a lot about promoting community— and that, even when community is a lot of what hurts characters. Like, everything is social, humans are social creatures with social lives, it’s hard to avoid, but still when looking at the dungeon lords’ troubles… Troubles with feeling secure within relationships, with feeling like they belong in their society or community, feeling rejected or unsafe or Other.

Struggling with judgement and superstitions like Laios, Falin and Kabru. Struggling with racism like Chilchuck and Kabru. Struggling with strict conformism like Senshi. Ableism, xenophobia, colonialism, hierarchy, Mithrun, Thistle, Namari. All victims from all exclusionist societies one way or another. Again, rejection, on both a wider and interpersonal level.

Ultimately Dunmeshi is about how good community is to have while uplifting everyone’s quirks and differences, but you can’t help but see how exclusionary and harmful some groups are and how identity, especially identity in a social setting, is what characters struggle with the most. What Laios is tempted by is to leave the weight of a human identity behind, flee everything human and social as a monster. With how difference or stepping out of line hurts people consistently across the board and how humanity & social bonds are sometimes framed as the source of pain, you can’t help but wonder a bit if this doesn’t lend itself to promoting a sort of self-less social system, like an ecosystem that behaves like some hivemind of mother nature, but no no that’s what the series is condemning—

The dungeon is not about how an ecosystem (a social life, a hierarchy, a community) is a well-oiled, scientifically calculated machine but about how every being in an ecosystem has a different role and behavior, and how each one is important specifically because their differences are complementary. Diversity is not only a strength it’s essential. Bonds are not only important they’re essential. Otherwise what will you do when a god needs slaying and you don’t have an hungry furry around, huh? What will you do when the dehydrated samurai and the dehydrated elf and their friend circles won’t eat your sister? But more seriously, a lot of the beauty of Dunmeshi’s cast is how truly different they are, in the way they think, in the judgements they hold, in the way they’ve lived. And even in the face of that how our protagonists have always reached out— how Dunmeshi says that it’s good to seek to understand what you do not. Differences can be overcame, differences can be celebrated. A monster is not a being of good nor malice, it just is, and it deserves to be considered a living being, too.

No no no but like, approaching this on an emotional level rather than societal one again— Dungeon Meshi showcases being human as a prison of sorts in many ways, especially in a social and emotional sense. Characters spend a lot of time being worried about laws and reputation, about social judgement and social rejection. Chilchuck, Toshiro, Namari, Marcille… Senshi prefers sidestepping the entire thing and keeping to himself. And on the other hand, Izutsumi doesn’t like her body and doesn’t want to deal with her emotions, she has to accept herself even if being a beastkin has attracted disdain and mistreatment to her. Your identity is not fully your own, it’s framed and shaped by those there to perceive, judge and shape it like reputations. Similarly, your feelings are your own, but shame, hurt, pride— sometimes you’re compelled against your will by others, by relationships, to feel. Laios is the most flagrant and literal example, wanting to become a monster with the mind of a beast to flee the trauma and emotional toll of human society.

In this line of thought, caring about people is a shackle in itself too, Chilchuck wishes he could be free of caring, for the party but also for his wife leaving him.

- Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

Chilchuck who doesn’t want to still be hung up on his wife even though he’s deeply hurt who pretends being mad over it who throws his arms up in the air and does nothing about it, even if he brushes it all under the carpet and acts like it’s barely a bump in the road who still speaks of his wife in present and future tense. Who can’t move on yet can’t find the strength to reach out and try and be rejected and hurt all over again. It’d be simpler if he didn’t care about what happens to the rest of his party, if he didn’t feel the urge to risk his life for them so they might be safer. It’d be simpler if he just never opens up to anyone again, if he just doesn’t try, if he keeps to himself and sabotages relationships and forces himself to believe that he. Doesn’t. Care.

Falin also was shackled not by anger but by love. Again that Dunmeshi theme where humanity and feelings and care can feel like a prison, on both ends (caring and cared for)! But connections and care are what it means to be human and none of us are free of them. None of them. Not even Senshi the thriving hermit. Senshi being a recluse who despite always staying at an arm’s length of people as a mentor figure or a temporary guest or a friendly business partner because memories of his first party still haunt him and he thinks the conflict was his fault and that he can’t fit into a group, like with the orcs… Who despite that does want to help others, tags along with groups, even if just for a fun time not a long time. And yet when shit got serious with Laios’ party, he stayed. Even though he keeps exploring post-canon, much like Izutsumi and the other characters still figuring some things out, even though it might feel so much easier to live a quiet life of solitude, he still wants social connections and can’t keep himself from caring.

"What do they call it- it’s like something about love- where it’s like Love compells you- like kinda forces you to act against your own volition- love calls you to be something other than you are, it challenges you and yet you want to be compelled by love, you want to be subsumed to something larger."

- Cj the X, How Jordan Peterson’s Suits Taught Me Fashion

[nabbit-unmasked]

Thinking about when time when I was in Reddit therian and otherkin communities.

Once time, I made a google slides presentation for myself with positivity about being C.A.R. kin, and every single being supported me except this one exclusionist guy. He called me controversial and had a whole argument with me in the comments.

He was very strict about who he saw as a valid otherkin and gatekeeped others to hell and back. It wasn't just with me and being an African nation, but he pretty much nitpicked everyone he saw. If there was anything about them that didn't match his perfect standard of being an 100% involuntary, monokin/very few kin, non-physical, completely serious, not seeking validation, mythical creature otherkin, he found a way to argue with you and tell you what he thought you should be. This man was in his 20s and talking to a bunch of experimental/new-to-kin teenagers about this stuff, mind you.

Later on, my and a fellow otherkin friend messaged a user that he was, once again, gatekeeping and invalidating. I believe it was because they were original species kin, but I'm not quite sure. Either way, they reported him and he was banned the next day (thank goodness).

When I was in Reddit spaces, this wasn't all that uncommon either. He was just a more extreme example. People did make fun of "tumblr kins", which I believe was a satirical/troll movement a couple years back that made fun of bizzare kintypes and experiences. But the same idea still stuck; sometimes, tumblr was known as the place with a bunch of fakers and confused teens with 50+ kintypes, which is extremely indicative of "faking" in reddit spaces.

I admit that I partook in it gatekeeping, too. Specifically in therian spaces: it was extremely common for young & new therians to come in and ask if they were a valid therian, and a few people would reply and tell them the usual spiel: "as long as you aren't controlling it and you dont think you're physically an animal and you identify as not with, then yes!!!!"

When I found the r/alterhuman subreddit instead of other big kin subreddits, I totally changed my views on who counted as a "real therian/otherkin/whatever-else-kin". If you identify as it, you are it, and only you can decide that for yourself. It's no one else's decision, because they aren't in your mind.

That's when I left Reddit and came over here.

I realized something that could have been useful years ago when I was experiencing impostor syndrome over my plurality.

If you think you're faking, what's the reason for that? Is it because you feel like you subconsciously chose to be the way you are? Is it because you got hyperfixated on the community you're in? Is it because you dont experience any of the common or "more serious" traits of your identity?

Chances are, whatever it is that's making you feel that way is actually valid. Gatekeepers will try to shape their communities into the perfect mold that their brain sees them as, or as the people around them have made it out to seem. In reality, the ideal community is completely subjective and imaginary. There is no one, no force, no ideology that can stop you from identifying the way you do. It's entirely mental, individual, and personal. Theoretically, I could put on any label that I wanted to right now, and no one but myself could stop me.

After I realized I could apply that to myself, I understood most of my imposter syndrome came from the fact that my autism clung to communities and made me subconsciously gravitate to them due to hyperfixation. I always tried to find reasons why that couldn't be true, but I realized I didn't have to do that anymore. I accepted that was essentially what was happening. If someone did develop their identity, subconsciously or not, due to a hyperfixation, that was valid. When I built my own moral compass and stopped gatekeeping others, I was then able to stop gatekeeping my own self.

[rjalker]

the aspec exclusionists are starting up with the "don't use the community tags unless you fit my exact definition of aromantic/asexual" shit again -.-

how many times do we have to tell these people that the split attraction model is optional, not mandatory, and that the aromantic and asexual communities are for literally everyone who identifies with them

[luxiomahariel]

How the hell is Blahaj transfem when the only reason it’s considered a trans icon is because someone thought the colors matched the trans flag (which, I dont get but whatever). Like, the trans flag isn’t specifically a transfem flag! There probably is a transfem flag too, but this is the flag that’s meant to be an umbrella for everyone that considers themselves trans!

I just, hate seeing all this exclusionist bullshit and I hate that this shit is cyclical. Like there’s always people looking for a queer group they can decide isn’t queer the right way. I’ve seen this happen to aspecs, bi people, mspec lesbians (I dont get it but also identity and sexuality are complicated and theee labels are more for the people applying them to themselves), bi lesbians (this one i get more, it just implies a preference, and again labels are for the people who use them and it isnt like sex with men taints the lesbian).

Now the hate for transmascs seems to be the main focus of exclusionist bullshit. With radfem “men are inherently evil and trans men are just confused little girls” bullshit being used to “justify” it. Like, come on, why are people trying to police the language transmascs use to describe oppression against themselves? There can be multiple words with similar meanings! It doesn’t matter if you think transphobia or transmisogyny are the only terms that are needed because there’s already so much overlap in word meanings in English! If someone feels like neither of those words quite fit, or if they feel misgendered from using one of them, then there’s literally no harm in making something new up to feel more comfortable for them!

Sorry for going off in your inbox. It just hurts to see the queer community torn apart over and over again. also none of the thems here are directed at you and the yous before this paragraph are directed at the people perpetuating this bullshit. Just wanted to make that all clear. Words hard.

ur all good

i have nothing to really add except for my perspective on the mspec lesbian thing where my interpretation of the mspec lesbian identities is based off of the split attraction model, where someone, for example, might feel multi spec romantic attraction while feeling only sexual attraction for women thus making them a lesbian or vice versa where the multi spec attraction is sexual while the lesbian attraction is romantic

theres also other reasons why someone might identify as an mspec lesbian of course but thats my understanding as someone who identifies along the split attraction model as aromantic and bisexual

and of course you shouldnt need to understand someones identity in the first place in order to support them

[genderqueerdykes]

I'll preface this with saying that if you don't feel like dealing with this topic then feel free to delete the ask.

So I have a question regarding the "kink at Pride" debate. Isn't the most viable solution just having two events; i.e. one venue hosts an "all-ages" type and another separate one where everything is allowed?

I ask this because I recognize the contributions that people with kinks have made and I don't agree with the exclusionist mindset, but I'm one of those people who does have trauma surrounding kink. I hate feeling excluded because of that (after all, I'm queer and I've struggled just as much as the next queer person) and I want people like me to be able to participate just as much as those who helped make history. There are those who are able to reconcile their trauma, but many of us can't.

I'm sorry if this is a stupid question. People on both sides tend to be very hostile regarding this subject... and that said I genuinely do understand the anger felt on the side of people with kinks since the talking point "kink doesn't belong at Pride at all" is an ahistorical and TERF based mindset. I just wished that the discussion around this topic was less toxic because I don't want to be exclusive to others nor be excluded myself, and unless I'm missing something it seems like the solution that would be beneficial for everyone is having those two spaces that accommodate both camps (if it is a common thing then that's good, but I've been to several areas and every event was only ever the mixed bag for lack of a better term).

hello there, i think my best answer for this question is this

it's totally okay to want to have all ages events and sections and aspects to pride parades and pride events- in my city pride lasts for an entire week and there are events specifically for kids, and elderly queer folks as well. often times during pride month there will be all kinds of celebrations and i think it's a good idea to have multiple kinds of celebrations

however, you really cannot remove the adult aspects from pride parades and other big main event pride festivals- there is free AIDS testing at a lot of pride fests, free condoms and dental dams, sexual education, other sex harm reduction education and resources, sex toy shops, info on safe gay/trans sex, information on safe kink practices, etc. removing those aspects of pride could be downright dangerous for some who rely on this type of harm reduction

i understand that you have trauma and that you want to express boundaries, that is good- if witnessing kink upsets or triggers you, it's okay to want to avoid it, but pride is going to have displays like that because it is in fact a protest. it is not family friendly, it never has been and it never will be- it spawned in response to police brutality that was happening within queer bars. it is designed to shock you and make you think.

pride is an event that has historically been kinky and included a lot of people proudly displaying that they live alternative lifestyles because they are heavily important to a lot of queers. the san fransisco pride parade is lead by the lesbian leather motorcycle club, Dykes on Bikes, and has been since the late 1970's.

i think it's very odd to focus on kink in specific when there are other traumatizing things that come up at pride- people discuss abortion, abuse, being arrested, beaten by the police, being denied rights adoptive rights and healthcare, and so much more. pride will always have something that will make people uncomfortable, because it is a protest in the street to talk about the brutal reality of our lives

again, as i stated, i am fine with children's, all ages, etc. pride themed events being held but main pride parades, festivals, etc. are in fact designed to be protests, meaning provocative and brutally real. they're not just for waving rainbow flags and saying "yay we love being gay!" it's okay to know your own limits and boundaries but i think that if you know that that's upsetting to you, you may just not be suited for an inherently political event, and that's okay. hope that helps, take care, stay safe

[beltsourcookie]

ovenbreak march/april 2023 update

by now a majority of people already are aware of what devsis did and it's clear that they will not change their mind on the update

making the cookie run hashtags and sending spam/memes will do nothing about this, if we want something to be done here are the followin things that can be done

uninstall ovenbreak immediately

leave 1☆ reviews on the appstore page, but please use critical and full sentences or else it will go to spam and be deleted

write a formal letter here https://cs.devsisters.com/en/cookierun-ovenbreak/form/others

dont know what to write?

heres my thoughts on what to say

normally in spring (march/april/may) devsis usually releases spring-related themed updates such as spinach, beet, cherry blossom

meanwhile in the summer they reserve that season for yogurca and ocean themed events

devsis should be AWARE that Ramadan is during March/April, they have the access to research in Korea

let devsis know that they INTENTIONALLY released a middle eastern bomb-themed update during Ramadan

HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE

again use FULL SENTENCES or else messages and letter will go to spam folders and trash, dont try to be funny, let them know this update is:

racist (exclusionists)

vile (heartbreaking)

hurtful to people who are celebrating Ramadan

harmful

ignorant (not researched enough)

evil (disappointing) on devsis's part to consider releasing this update during Ramadan

eventually devsis might also try to censor these words from their inbox, and try to find creative ways around these words (use what the pararentheses have provided *above)

**devsis is NOT a baby company, dont coddle them, theyre just as smart in dealing w these situations

they can and have taken leakers to court because they HAVE the power to do this

unfortunately, if they persist on continuing this update, it's not your fault that you didnt try hard enough

not everyone has the ability/time to write a formal letter, but please try to whatever you can

it really does matter and shows you care about whats happening if you do these things

again, memes/jokes dont help make the situation look like it's serious, it makes it look like petty drama to outsiders

if anyone says that *you* are racist for bringing up the subject, tell them theyre racist for acting like racial issues dont exist

hopefully devsis face the consequences for their decsions later on

apologies if a lot of the post feels vague, it's just to make it easier to understand

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

ASKBOX IS OPEN REQUESTS ARE OPEN HERE ARE THE RULES

Askbox/Requests will be open today, April 22 from 2pm-10pm EST, i will be ordering myself a fancy delivery foods at some point to keep me goin.

The askbox will remain open for the duration of stream and I'll get as many as I can done today, but I will not get to all your requests (usually its like minimum 400).

I'll be using the remainder for daily content til I run out again, which means your request will likely get done eventually so long as it follows the ground rules/instructions:

1) Funny- the request needs to be humorous, memes usually the most popular but dnd in jokes and other shitpostery is welcome. i abide by the MBMBAM NO BUMMERS rule - there are plenty of sad/deep calligraphers out there who’d be happy to work with yall, but this isn’t that sort of channel

2) Length - no more than 75 characters a request, my cue cards are only so big so I can only fit so much on each one

3) Amount of Requests - I am trying to be fair but i am one person running this ENTIRE thing, logistics, tech, etsy store orders, twitch, tumblr, tiktok, instagram etc, everything. In order to be fair, please restrict yourselves to 3 requests per person to let everyone have a shot, if you send in 5 i will ctrl-f your username and pick my favourites

4) Content - I will not do anything I consider under the umbrella of general assholery - this includes racial slurs, edgelord bullshit, exclusionist jackassery etc. Please be kind to each other. Please let me know if I’ve taken a request that is some incredibly obscure piece of assholery, someone once tried to slip a really obscure antisemetic piece of slang by me once

5) Repeats - I keyword tag EVERY SINGLE piece i’ve ever done on this blog, if you think I might have written smth already but aren’t sure, the /search is your friend

the askbox is theshitpostcalligrapher.tumblr.com/ask , not a dm to the blog. I’ll close submissions too so people don’t get the boxes confused. DM me for any actual clarifications, kind words, etc so they don’t get swallowed up by the behemoth of my askbox for months

Here’s the link to my twitch, we’ll start a little after 2pm EST

if the embed works it'll be here:

Donate directly through here or just type !dono in the chat to get the same link