#excited for yall to see it 🥰

[bathroomcorpse]

lol lied abt my zine im gonna send them out this weekend

[rosyblooom]

levi's jeans | ln4 smau

PAIRING: lando norris x fem quadrant!reader SUMMARY: y/n loves levi's jeans—it's all she wears, ever. so when lando has to draw her in a quadrant video, that's what he draws: levi's jeans. a bad attempt at flirting? maybe, but it gets the ball rolling. A/N: been listening to 'levii's jeans' 24/7 since the album dropped omg

Youtube - Quadrant

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yourusername

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tagged: landonorris

yourusername happy now??? i don't only wear levi's jeans see😌

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username the lando tag??? lmao his drawing is still on her mind💀

username no but the way I didn't even question it when he drew jeans for y/n lool username @/levis I found yall's next collab partner

landonorris Why'd you tag me in this 🤣

yourusername u drew the jeans🙄 username ...how about u guys kiss and makeup hmm?😏

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username babe me too username me three 🙋‍♂️ username i've been thinking little lando has a crush👀 it was soo obvious in the yt vid

Instagram

landonorris posted to his story!

[ caption: New Quadrant video out now!! Swipe up to watch ]

Youtube - Quadrant

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landonorris posted to his story!

[ caption: 👖 ]

[ tagged: yourusername ]

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yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption: let's ride 🏍️ ]

[ tagged: landonorris ]

f1gossipofficial

liked by username, username, username and 12,400 others

f1gossipofficial After two months of being spotted together numerous times in London and Monaco, and stirring up dating rumours, Lando Norris and fellow Quadrant member Y/N L/N were recently seen off the coast of Spain, soaking up the sun and looking pretty cosy.

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username it's already been 2 months??? omg can they just say yes or no i'm tired😩

username can yall not read the room? look at the pics and ask yourself if that's how friend act pls username they've been friends for ages before that, it makes sense not to rush into anything tbh

username OMG Y/N'S NOT WEARING JEANS🤩

username cause they're in the ocean??🤣 username a win is a win idc !!

username noo i hope they're just friends😭💔

username they're both so hot omfg

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yourusername

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tagged: levis

yourusername so happy to announce my levi's x y/n collab that's coming out next week friday!!😭 as everyone probably knows (and is sick of lol) i love me some levi's, so this collection has been soo much fun to work on and i'm very excited for you guys to see it!!🤍❤️💙

view all 4,054 comments

riabish soo proud of you 🩷

yourusername ily🥹❤️

username nobody deserved this more than you y/n!! we will be buying !!

_aarava now you have an actual reason to be wearing them as much as you do🤣

yourusername never wearing anything else ever idc !! username hold on now y/n... let's not be rash😀

levis the countdown starts now👀❤️

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username @/yourusername quickly what's ur fav song on cowboy carter??

yourusername levii's jeans ofc😌 username love that for you girl!

landonorris

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tagged: yourusername

landonorris Never getting sick of your levi's jeans obsession🤣 So proud of you baby ❤️👖

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username took yall long enough🤧

yourusername 🩷🩷

(liked by author)

username i love you y/n🥰

yourusername u guys better not make that stupid emoji trend again istg😐

username hey girl💞 you might wanna stay off twitter for the rest of the day ! username 👖👖👖(🤭)

username fml

username con😭gra😭tu😭la😭tions😭

3:35 ─────────ㅇ─── 4:17

[tan1shere]

Freaky Deaky

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: I got this idea when this song popped up on my Spotify the other day. I hadn't listened to it in soooo long but omg this idea SPRUNG into my brain - this is inspired a bit by the music video so if you haven't seen it go watch it !!! And lastly enjoy 🥰

Summary: she wasn't use to this from you. But on valentines day, you decide to let that side of you show.

Warnings: smut ! Daddy kink yall 😋 reader is super girly, and many more kinky surprises 😈

Tags: @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @brat-at-the-disco @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu

Masterlist

"I've been feeling freaky deaky."

"You're on your way to see me."

14th of February. The day of love. Some is passionate, sweet, loving. And some is freaky, which is what tonight was for the both of you. You only got the courage to do this when she asked you to be her valentine. The usual flowers, chocolates and a sign. But, there was a small bag. You look inside to be faced with some lingerie. It was pink. Your favorite color. Not just any pink, a hot pink. The sexy kind of pink. It impelled you to be a bit more confident and open with her. You've had sex, sure. Countless times. But you haven't been dating for long, so ofcourse there were kinks and fantasies neither of you knew about. That changes, tonight.

You had been laying on your bed, the pink fluffy sheets felt great on your skin. You were about to get up and get ready for your night with Billie when you get a text from her.

Bills💗

- "I'll be there in 25 baby."

- "Awesome can't wait ;)☺"

- "Me too mama.😈💋"

A smile spreads across your face, rolling over on your bed with a giggle. You adored the way she made you feel, forever giggly. You never really showed that side of yourself from past experiences but she brings a comfort, a safeness no one in your life has ever brought for you before. So, you can be your true selfaround her. You go to your vanity picking out the right makeup, moving onto your hair. You put it up in a cute messy but styled bun. "Cute." You say softly to yourself, messing with a few strands on the sides. Getting up and heading to your closet to pick out this satin pink robe, putting that over the lingerie Billie had gotten you.

The pink lace hugged your body just right, and she was very excited to see you in it. It'd be a lie if she said she wasn't dreaming of how you'd look in it. Shes finally getting to live that dream, and many more. You spray some nice smelling purfume on from Victoria secret, sealing the whole look. Feeling amazing. You hear a knock on the door going to open it, looking at her with a grin. Her eyes wander, going over your tits, sitting pretty in that bra. So perfectly. Your waist, hips. The see-through satin robe hid hardly anything. So she was looking. Loud and proud.

You invite her in, letting your hips sway as you go over to your bed. "The lingerie fits nicely, thank you for getting it for me." You say to her sweetly. So sweetly infact you hear her gulp. "It fits you very. Well." She joins you on the bed. "I got you a little something. Two little somethings." Her head shakes. "I told you I'm fine baby it's ok, I don't need anything." You move to grab it. "Too late. Open open!" You say handing her the pretty bag it comes in. She peeks inside seeing a strap and dildo both pink to match with everything. She looks at you, but you nod your head for her to look at the other thing.

It was these two chunky rings she had been after, you just had to get them for her. "Mama." She says looking at you. "Those were incredibly expensive, I would've gotten them." You just shake your head. "You've been so good to me I really wanted to return the favor." Your eyes were soft and genuine. "God I'm gunna fucking ravish you tonight." She growls, not standing anymore of the distance between the two of you. Her hands reach out, grabbing your face and kissing you with such lust. She slowly pushes you back on the bed hovering over you.

Her hands fiddle with the silky strings on your robe, getting it to come undone and take it off. You go to take the rest off but she stops you. One of her fantasies was to fuck you while you had something sexy like this on. She was adamant on fulfilling that. "Keep it on.." She trails off as if she wasn't done with her sentence. Her hand moves to the bottom of your underwear, snapping back a part near the crotch. You gasp as cool air hits you, biting your lip. You had no idea it had an opening. Your eyes look to her, she's just smirking. "I have things all planned baby, don't you worry." You blush, not that it was noticeable with the amount you dabbed on.

She reaches for the strap, the band being sparkly and pink, the dido being a lighter shade of that. She takes her shirt and pants off, grabbing the harness and then attaching it to herself. You watch Intently, deeply intrigued as she always just had it on whenever the two of you fucked. She notices this, slowing her movements. Almost as if she was giving you a little show. She lines up, observing how noticeably wet you were. Just for her, because of her. She was proud. Her fingers touch the skin of your pussy. Feeling the wetness. She gathers some, bringing it away and straight to her mouth. She moans at the taste, making your breath hitch.

The tip prods at your entrance, causing light moans to fill the room, whimpers. She soaks it up, repeats it in her own brain at how beautiful you sounded. She slowly sinks into you, nearly bottoming out but you grab her bicep. She kisses your head, letting you know she's right there. "Good girl, you got it." Her kisses move to your cheek. "Pretty girl, so good for me." The praise was going straight to your head. Causing your eyes to shut as the pleasure builds up. She begins to move slowly. But even at that pace it provoked your eyes to roll back, biting your candy pink lip once again. Her kisses move down to your neck, sucking hard. Marking you up. Her hands rest beside your head as she speeds up.

You move your head, opening your eyes and looking up in the mirror. Her back muscles flexing. Making your head spin as she hits the perfect spots.

Got the mirror on the ceiling...

You're in the mood to please me...

"Going to break your back." She snarls into your neck, far deep into her lust. Adoring how you'd arch into her thrusts. You moan into her ear. "P-please." She chuckles. "You want that? Want me to break your back?" You didn't even know this yet as she hadn't told you but it slips out past your lips. "Yes daddy, fuck!" Her eyes grow darker, needing to make sure she heard you correctly. "Say that again?" Then you panic, did she not like it? "I- uhm-" Her gentle hand makes contact with your jaw. "What'd you call me?" Her hips snap harshly, making your eyes yet again roll back. "Daddy!" You moan, loudly. "Fuck." She breathes. That was the thing she'd touch herself thinking about. And to actually hear it.

From the rightful source made her want to cum right then and there. "You drive me insane baby." Her tongue runs along your neck, feeling goosebumps rise on your skin. You shiver

I get so infatuated and erotic with you.

Her thrusts become relentless making it impossible for you to hold on. "Mmm, please. I'm so close." She doesn't falter. "Yeah? Go on then, want a reminder of tonight. Never going to wash this one. Wanna keep it locked away for safe keeping." She was truly feral for you and it sent you off the rails. "Bills fuck!" You screech as you cum hard all over her, feeling your legs shake. Just from seeing that, hearing and feeling everything. It makes her close. The fact she could make you feel such pleasure makes her feel powerful. Wanting to protect you. She grunts feeling the base hit her perfectly. "Fuck you have no idea what you do to me."

She says, listening carefully to your moans. And within seconds she's now cumming, it leaking out, slightly onto you aswel. Your breaths were heavy together, calming down from such an intense round of pleasure.

Abd that was just the first of many. Many rounds that night.

[emotionaldamages]

heartbeat- oscar piastri

summary- oscar is dating a actor, who happens to be sebastian's daughter

pairings- oscar piastri x actor!reader

authors note- hi guysss, so sorry for the lag I’ve been a little bit busy, hope you enjoy😊

y/nvettel

liked by mclaren, charles_leclerc, and 5, 232,873

y/nvettel supporting the children I guess

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username why is charles giggle like that

username how cute

username I need a supportive partner

landonorris the photo was unnecessary

charles_leclerc you looked funny

username I wanna go to an f1 race so bad

username oh to have money

username I can't wait to meet her!

username I need some more behind the scenes content

username a red carpet look now.

username I need money for this

username devoured

oscarpiastri ❤

y/nvettel has posted a story!

replies

landonorris that’s so fake

oscarpiastri babee what the heck

georgerussell55 good choice 👍

y/nvettel

liked by lilyhme, oscarpiastri, and 7, 837,626

y/nvettel winter break🫶🏼☃️ my heart beats for yall

tagged oscarpiastri , landonorris, alex_albon, lilyhme

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username how cuteee

username I want what they have

username we need a lily and y/n adventure

y/nvettel soon🫡

landonorris I hate couples.

lilyhme we already said we would help you find a gf🙄

oscarpiastri the entire trip was lily stealing you from me

lilyhme deal with it

alex_albon story of our life’s man

username I need friends

username you take my breath away

username how is she so fine?

y/nvettel

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, and 6, 837,9364

y/nvettel we outside☃️

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username cutest daughter and father

username is your dad single?

username she ate that up tbh

lilyhme where was my invite😔

alex_albon I hope you fell

username alex is being aggressive

y/nvettel

liked by jonathandavis, lilyhme, and 5,897,759

y/nvettel just trying to sleep but this makes my heartbeat with excitement

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username I’m so ready for season four to be filmed

username I need them to film faster

username she said 🧍🏽‍♀️ laying down

landonorris sucks not sleeping doesn’t it

jeremy7offical you can sleep in my bed

landonorris yea no

username y’all see that….

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username oh wow.

username on the internet he says that?!?

y/nvettel

liked by sebastianvettel, oscarpiastri, and 8,836,827

y/nvettel awards in awards

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oscarpiastri love of my life

username he’s so cute with her 😔

username she’s gorgeoussss

username she ate up all those outfits

username mother

username have my children

lilyhme literally my wife

sebastianvettel very proud of you🩷

username daddy issues are rising after that

jeremy7official let’s celebrate😉

username someone get that man out of here

username he’s a little too bold

username what.

username where’s oscar when you need him

oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri we sleep and celebrate together. I make her heartbeat😉

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landonorris you tell him oscar

username lando is me asf

username ate that up oscar

username he said been there done that

username we love it

mclaren he doesn’t stand a chance

username now why is mclaren involved

y/nvettel 🥰

username ate him up

username cutest couple

username mother and father

[ilovepaigebueckerss]

mystery roommate

pairing: p.b x fem! reader

word count: 481

summary: While Paige and KK were live you made an appearance not knowing what it would lead to.

HI GUYSSSS!! i do still write dw🥰 i whipped this up rq so yall wouldn’t fg abt me so its not proofread at all🙏🙏 also i feel like smut would be soo good in this story but i have never wrote smut and i dont think i would be good at it sooo🌚 OKAY ENOUGH YAPPING ENJOY THE STORY

-love gab 💋

_______________________________

KK and Paiges laughter filled the room as they were on live interacting with their fans. You were sitting on the couch right beside them watching a movie on your laptop. You and Paige were roommates, but the fans didn’t really know who you were. You made an appearance on one of their lives before and everyone went crazy.

“Y/N they wanna know where you are” Paige says smirking playfully. You laugh, “Im right here.” You wave awkwardly at the camera.

@paigebueckersiswife: shes glowinggg

@kkarnoldfan: PAIGES MYSTERYY ROOMMATEE

“Y/N the fans love youu, come chat!” KK says waving her hands in a ‘come here’ motion. You shrug your shoulders “Why not” You exclaim walking over to sit next to Paige on the couch.

You and Paige were sitting kind of close to eachother but you didn’t even notice. Paige on the other hand was going crazy. She had a crush on you ever since you first moved in with her. She was too scared to admit her feelings for you so she just stayed quiet.

As you were talking to the chat you noticed Paige staring at you in the corner of your eye. Of course this didn’t go unnoticed by the fans and the chat started going crazy.

@uconnwbbfann: did i miss a chapter?..

@ilovemyman: i dont even blame paige

“Okay live we finna hop off! Thanks for tuning in.” KK says in a nerdy voice. She clicks off the live, “Bye P boogers! Bye Y/N!” She says grabbing her things and walking towards the door. “Bye KK” You and Paige say in unison.

“Im gonna get back to my movie now” You announce walking back to your designated spot on the couch. “Can I join you?” You look up at her and smile excited she wanted to spend time with you. You nod and make your way next to Paige. Paige takes notice of you squirming trying to get comfy. “Uh.. if you want you can lay on me.” She suggests. You happily oblige and lay on her lap, “You can pick the movie.”

TIME SKIP

An hour into the movie and Paige could hear your light snores and heavy breathing. She turned off the movie and carefully picked you up and carried you to your bed.

THE NEXT MORNING

The sun peaking from your curtains shone on your face causing you to wake up. You opened your phone to see hundreds of notifications. You unlock your phone and open TikTok to see you were tagged in a video.

The caption on the video read, “are we not gonna talk about paige and y/n on live??” You chuckle lightly at the comment. You continued to scroll on tiktok and see people were already making ship edits of you and Paige. You even found yourself liking and favoriting some.

‘What did I get myself into’ You think to yourself laughing.

[felassan]

Violet: "Some of the stuff I've been working on during my first month at EA will be coming to the fans soon and I'm so excited 🥰 can't wait for yall to see what I've been jamming on!!" [source]

[hereissomething]

yall, this weekend we found this at an elder gay estate sale for $8:

MARY AND VINCENT PRICE'S COOK BOOK!!!!!!!🎉🎉🎉

i was so surprised to see it i gasped and yelled incoherently😆 orgy thought i was really excited about an electric bread maker before i could finally regain the ability to speak again

its BEAUTIFUL i cant believe we have it now!

there he is. mr bigg diq himself🥰

its impossible not to read the entries in his voice. i'll def be adding more to this thread as i find more treasure in this cook book! i cant believe it!

[lady-of-tearshed]

Temporary

Pairing: Azris

Summary: Just a cozy morning between secretly mated Azris... they're adorable. This takes place before the IC boys annual snowball fight. 🥰

Word count: 1.4k words

Warnings: Mention of sex, mention of oral sex, brooding, slight/almost IC "hate" (Eris is a hater, apologies. Tho he does not 😚)

A/N: Aaaah Azris, my heart. This is my first time writing a homosexual pairing, so, yay? Yay! Anyways! Tell me your thoughts, I'm really excited about sharing this one with yall. 💕 ALSO! Let December, the merriest month of the year (in my modest opinion), BEGIN!

If you want to see what Eris... jumper looks like in the fic below, click here!

Dividers made by @tsunami-of-tears ❤️

The sound of crackling fire doesn’t send ripples of raw terror down Azriel’s spine anymore. His hands don't start shaking at the mere sight of a flame, and it doesn’t make him recall the way the fire had licked the skin off his hands as his brothers laughed devilishly.

No, not anymore. Now, Azriel has found a way, someone, who makes him see the flames as other than fear and danger. Now, he can enjoy the warmth it provides him. He can even just watch how the flame dances in the fireplace and just relax. Enjoy. Admire its beauty…

And the person who managed to accomplish this Gods damn miracle is currently curled around Azriel’s pillow, their and Azriel's scent filling the room. It's a perfect combination of warm cider and cinnamon, with a hint of cloves mixed with Azriel’s night-chilled mist and cedar unique scent. The smell clings to the bedsheets, much to Azriel’s delight. It probably will stay that way for a few more days, hopefully. This scent, his mate's scent, his lover’s scent, Eris scent.

Warmth flooded Azriel’s chest, and he stills. The feeling of the bond in his chest still makes him unsteady. Hasn't quite gotten used to the way Eris feels through the bond, nor had he mastered to control the massive waves of emotions he sometimes sends down his mate's side.

The Illyrian steps closer to the bed, keeping his footsteps light and discreet. He sits down beside Eris' sleeping form, his eyes roaming over his utterly naked skin. The light coming from the fire burning in front of Azriel's bed dances over Eris’ freckled back, casting the most enticing shadows on his skin. Azriel sucks in a breath, Eris looks like a God. The Mother herself must envy the male, honestly.

Azriel, unlike Eris, is dressed and almost ready to leave the house. Today, Azriel has planned to leave his secluded flat and fight the frigid weather of the largest peak of Velaris mountains. Today, like every year since centuries, he would not only have to fight the cold and the wind, but also his brothers’ ruthlessness.

Azriel is anticipating his 200th snowball fight victory this year, and hopes to get it over with soon, so he can just crawl back in bed with his favorite redhead to claim his prize.

Fuck the birchin, he would most likely get kicked out anyway. Thoughts of Eris haunt his days and nights now, and the heat of the birchin would just remind him of the heat emitting from his mate’s body when his mouth parts open and Azriel is buried deep in-

“Az, this is an ungodly hour to have these kinds of thoughts,” Eris grumbles, rolling over to face Azriel. His amber eyes meets Azriel’s. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Azriel responds, his voice barely above a whisper. His scarred hand reaches down, and cradles Eris' cheek. “I didn’t want to wake you up.” His thumb traces the freckles on his cheekbone, the softness of Eris’ face makes Azriel shiver. Eris' lips twitch with amusement, his eyelids still heavy with sleep. And Cauldron boil and fry him, Azriel has to fight every instinct in order to keep his clothes on and not claim Eris' pretty mouth with his cock right here and then.

If Rhysand isn’t already growing suspicious of his spymaster's behavior, he would definitely suspect something is going on if Azriel fails to attend their traditional snowball fight without warning them. He can't allow Rhysand to start questioning him, because Eris would kill Azriel for that. Not quite literally, at least. But he would be greatly displeased.

It’s not that Eris wants to keep it a secret forever. No. Eris is a jealous, and quite possessive male. He truly wants nothing more than to make the world know that Azriel is his. Problem is, with his new High Lord position and Autumn closed-minded population, announcing it publicly could create chaos. Eris cannot allow that to happen. His Court is still weak, courtiers are constantly on a rotation, people are tense… A bad reaction to this news could quickly degenerate. Eris still has to build some trust and respect amongst his court, and change a few things up before publicly announcing his mating bond with a male. A male and an Illyrian.

Azriel gets Eris' point of view, and he respects this. Eris considers himself the luckiest male in Prythian for that. Just comprehension and respect, no questions, no pushing.

Though sometimes when Eris is away, he looks at the stars and moon and wonders if this was the right decision. He also wonders how much longer? How much longer until he can truly be free, until he can stop hiding? On darkest days, like when he has to stay away from Azriel for over a week or so because of his High Lord responsabilities, he wonders if Azriel will get bored of hiding. Wonders if he'll get tired of waiting, and end this, the special thing that they have. Eris’ most prized treasure. He wonders what, and if, and why…

A pinch on Eris' cheek snaps him out of his thoughts. “You’re scowling.”

Eris' nose scrunches and frowns. He hates that Azriel can so easily read him. He also hates that he makes Azriel worry, he wants to make him happy when they're together, not stressed or worried about him because he can't stop brooding. “Yeah, because that’s my jumper you’re wearing.” He lies easily. Azriel doesn't notice.

“Jumper?” Azriel looks down, pulling at the navy and dark orange fabric. “You call that a jumper?”

“What do you call it?”

Azriel chuckles and just shrugs. “I don’t know. Like, a sweater? A pullover?”

“That sounds like a cheap piece of clothing. A jumper is fancy.” Eris protests, pulling the sheets further up his body and crossing his arms.

“Yes, yes. Very fancy, my heart.” Azriel leans in, and pampers Eris' scowling face with kisses. Eris looks like a ruffled angry bird, which makes Azriel laugh once more. Before Eris can snap at him for making fun of him, Azriel leans down and nips at the tip of his nose before pulling away. “I have to go now.”

“With my jumper on?”

Azriel halts. He feels the heat creeping up his cheeks. He rolls his neck, trying to ease the unease that settled in the muscles there. “Uh, yeah. Is that… okay?”

Eris props himself up on his elbows and stares. Azriel has to force his eyes to stay focused on Eris’ face, else they will venture down to stare at the sheet dropping dangerously low to his waist. Eris bites his lip, his eyes still assessing Azriel. Eris looks at him up, then down, without any ounce of shame. After what feels like an eternity, Eris just shrugs. “Yeah. Let the ba…”

Azriel's stare hardens, giving Eris a warning. So Eris thinks before continuing what he was about to say, wisely choosing his words. Not without rolling his eyes first, he tries again. “Let your… friends, I guess, know that a delicious smelling person shares your life now. I don’t mind. Just… don’t tell them everything, please. Not now.”

Azriel nods, and before Eris can start to justify himself, he shuts him up by placing his lips on his. He kisses him slowly, savoring the few minutes he has left before he really has to go. When they break apart, reluctantly, Eris' cheeks are tinted with the prettiest shade of pink. “Will you still be there when I come back?” Azriel asks.

Eris chews his lip and runs his hand through his messy auburn curls. “Maybe. I don’t know. I have… stuff waiting for me in Autumn. So… I don't think so. I'll see.”

Azriel nods, though he would have prefered a more certain answer. Because what else can he do about that?

This– the bond–is still new for both of them, but Azriel would be lying if he said he wouldn’t love to have his mate here, in his small apartment, in his bed every day of his immortal life. But he understands. Plus, this is all just a temporary situation. At the moment, Eris has responsibilities, more than ever since he became High Lord. He has a court to rebuild and… hounds waiting for him to get back to them, spoil them and care for them.

Does Azriel feel a bit jealous of the hounds? No. Maybe? Just a little bit. “Alright,” He hesitates, then asks Eris, “Will you come back?”

No matter how many times Eris makes his way back to Azriel, the fear of losing him forever always lingers in the shadowsinger's head. So Azriel always asked, just to be sure, and Eris never questioned. He simply smiles fondly at him and speaks the truth like he always does. “Always.”

Taglist: @mybestfriendmademe @lilah-asteria @acotar-lover @paige0103

[dfortrafalgar]

Looooooved ILY! Kudos! It was chair-gripping, tear drenching, rot your teeth fluffy and a bunch of other things in between! Brava! 🥰

If you're still accepting requests (I don't know if you have already been flooded by messages or not) I would like a story about being part of the Kid Pirates but reader is in a really sour mood because it's the anniversary of readers's parents death (you can make up a story if you'd like) and reader disobeys a direct order from him and, to top it off, reader talks back at him in front of the crew, earning the reader a severe punishment (up to you). Eventually Kid finds out why reader's mood is so sour and tries to talk it out except Kid can't be soft and that just makes things more awkward. Could be SFW, could be NSFW, I'm leaving all this up to you. And the ending as well because I only got that far. I hope you like the idea and get excited.

I love your work! ❤️🥰 Thank you for sharing your talent.

HI ANON!!! thank you so much for your request and your super kind words over IMLY, that means so much to me!!!! i know i keep saying this but yall make me smile every single day when i log onto tumblr and see your messages <3

I also really loved writing this request! i really love Kid, but i also wanna kick his ass on the playground if that makes sense, and i think that sentiment came through in my writing ;w; I hope you like it!!! and thank you again!!! (Also, i kept the reason for your parents' death ambiguous, because i know some people (myself included) read fics with their ocs in mind, so you're free to fill in the vagueness with your own personal ideas if you want!)

Feeling Overhaul

Eustass Kid x Fem Reader

The anniversary of your parents' death always leaves you feeling shallow, but your boyfriend's lack of social and situational awareness crops up to make your day even worse.

Warnings: SFW, hurt/comfort, reader being understandably upset, descriptions of an argument with some veeeeery slight verbal abuse, once again hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort. communication is key loves

Your sour mood had been steadily building over the last few days, but your sorrow reached its peak on the last day of the week, according to the barely legible crew calendar that was based off of when the messenger coos arrived with the weekly paper.  It was a day you despised thinking about, the memories associated with the day leaving your throat tight, an uncomfortable malaise in the pit of your stomach.

All things considered, you thought you were doing a decent job at keeping your emotions in check while performing your usual duties on the Victoria Punk.  The bow of the deck needed a thorough scrubbing, a few spots in the walls of the crow’s nest needed repairs from a recent run in with a smaller, weaker pirate crew, and a few secondary sails needed their holes patched up.  It was a perfect day to distract yourself from your woes.  Drowning your discontent in your work had become quite a valuable skill.

Until you slipped on the soap that lathered the hard wood of the bow and fell flat on your ass.  When trying to stand, your hands gave out under you and you hit the deck once more, one of your crew mates tossing you anxious glances as you struggled to regain your bearings.  Climbing up to the crow’s nest, you were plagued with a sudden wash of grief over the day, so much so that you lost your grip and slipped down the Jacobs ladder, your foot catching on one of the wooden rungs beneath you.  Wire was directly under you, climbing as well to assist with the crow’s nest repairs, and his method of helping you after your slip involved gripping your arm so hard it left a bruise.  You bit back your tears at the pain of your crewmate’s hand around your limb and the humiliation of almost falling 12 feet onto the hard wooden hull, but you once again bit back your shame and finished your arduous climb up.

By the afternoon, word had gotten around the Victoria Punk that your work was lacking, that you were clearly struggling with something, that perhaps you weren’t feeling well.  When it finally got around to Captain Eustass Kid, who doubled as your beloved partner, he was less than pleased.

The last thing he wanted to do was deal with your emotions, and the last thing you wanted to do was deal with his abrasive, apathetic attitude.

“Care to explain why the hell the entire crew has caught you slacking off today?” he demanded, thundering toward you in one of the upper corridors of the ship’s hull.  You were still returning some of the tools you had used to patch up the ship’s sails when he accosted you in the hallway.  It was almost dinner hour, and many of the crew were bustling through the same corridors finishing their afternoon tasks before meal time.

“What?” you snapped back, caught off guard by his threatening question.

“Don’t ‘What’ me.  Why have you been tripping and falling everywhere?  What kind of joke are you trying to play?”  His face was angry, livid even, not granting you even one second to explain your plight.

Your eyebrows furrowed.  “I’m not trying to bumble around the boat like an idiot.  I’m just not feeling well and haven’t been able to focus.”

Kid scoffed.  “Then get over it.”

Perhaps you were being irrational, but at the same time, you had officially had enough of the entire day.  You dropped your supplies on the floor around your feet, heat radiating off of your body in waves.  “What did you just say to me?”

Your captain bent down to be at your level, which was insulting to your current state.  “Get.  Over.  It.”

Anger boiled in your lungs, lighting your heart on fire, blinding the corners of your vision with a fuzzy white light.  You tried to turn your back to him and escape down the corridor, but yelped when Kid grabbed your wrist and pulled you back toward him.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong with you?” he asked.  He really couldn’t control the sound of his voice, regardless of his current emotion, and the volume of his shouts filling the space made your body tense up in fear.  Eyes watching the scene unfold around you widened.

Around the corner behind Kid’s back, Killer darted forward, alerted to the sounds emanating from the narrow passage.  “Kid, chill out!”

“Are you going to care about me any more if I tell you?” you demanded back, trying to pull your wrist away from his grip.  His flesh hand held firm, however, almost burning your skin.  He shrugged Killer’s own hand off of his shoulder forcefully, completely ignoring his friend’s plea to calm himself somewhat.

Kid rolled his eyes.  “It better be damn important if it’s got you almost falling off of the Jacobs ladder.”

You steeled yourself, sucking in an uneasy breath and facing your stubborn partner head on.  “Today’s the anniversary of my parents’ death.  I’ve never been able to feel alright when I think about them.”

There was a brief, uncomfortable silence that floated between the two of you, the air in the hallway thrumming with a suffocating tension.  Kid’s grip finally relaxed on your wrist, allowing you to yank it away and rub your sore skin.  His red-painted lips finally parted, and all he graced your ear drums with was, “That’s it?”

Your heart dropped.  “What do you mean ‘that’s it’?”

“Parents die all the time.  What makes today so different?”  His narrow eyes were back to their scathing glare.

At this point, however, you had had enough.  You were practically shaking with a barely contained rage of your own as you stepped closer to your captain and spat in his face, causing him to stagger backward, giving you enough space to let your emotions bubble outward.  “I don’t have to tell you shit if you’re going to talk to me like that!  In front of the entire crew?!  Just because you’re my captain doesn’t mean you get the excuse to accost me in the hallway and berate me for slipping a few times.”  You frantically dug through your brain for words to add to your outburst, perhaps asking how he had the sheer gall to have such an attitude toward you despite dropping his walls and being so kind toward you on an average day, but all you could muster in response was, “Fuck you, Kid.”

You stepped away from him, narrowly missing another one of his lunges to get you to stay.  His voice was low and intimidating.  “Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Then don’t tell me that my day of grieving is stupid!  Fuck!  You!” you spat back, finally turning on your heels and sprinting out of his reach, down the hallway and into the ladder well into the lower deck, desperate to get as far away from your captain as possible.  You knew he was prone to struggling with empathy, and kindness had never been one of his strong suits, but to be talked to in such a way, have your feelings belittled after you had almost severely injured yourself as a consequence of your lacking mental health, hurt more than a stab to the liver.

Kid’s burning gaze followed you as you fled, harshly turning on his own heels to slink to the galley and drown his frustrations in whatever liquor the crew had acquired from the last island.  He bumped Killer’s shoulder, forcing the blonde to the side.  The crew watched as their captain rounded the corner out of sight.

---

You didn’t arrive for the dinner call, your usual seat left unfilled and the plate uneaten.  A few crew mates who hadn’t witnessed the explosive scene from an hour ago asked around for your whereabouts, but the only one who bothered to stand up and search for you was Quincy who quickly ate her meal and abandoned the table.

Kid was pounding back alcohol like no one’s business, leading to many a concerned glance.

“Kid,” Killer muttered.  He rested his masked head in his hand, desperate for context at what he had previously run in on.  “What happened?”

“Nothing,” the red-head grumbled, throwing back another mug of golden beer, some of it dribbling down the side of his mouth.

The few straggling crew members who remained around the large dining table shared worried looks.

“It’s clearly not nothing,” Killer countered.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” snapped Kid.  Even at the age of 23, he was still no better than a bratty little child when things didn’t go his way.

Killer dropped the subject with a sigh, the sound escaping the holes in his mask with a subdued hiss.

Quincy, on the other hand, carefully opened the door to the women’s bunk room where she found you, curled on your side on the mattress that used to belong to you when you first joined the Kid Pirates, your face buried in a pillow and your shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

“Darling,” she cooed, silently tapping across the floor to sit on the side of the bed, her gentle hand ghosting over your arm.  “What happened?  Why didn’t you come to dinner?”

The sound of her voice unraveled you from your coil, your tear-stained face and puffy red eyes meeting her concerned stare.  “Kid and I had a fight,” was all you said.

“About?”

You rolled onto your back, clutching the pillow that was thoroughly drenched in your salty tears to your abdomen.  “Today’s the anniversary of my parents’ death, and when Kid asked me what was wrong, he told me, ‘What makes today so different, parents die all the time.’  Like…?” your voice wavered, “Who says that?  And to his girlfriend nonetheless!”

Quincy made a disappointed tsk sound with her tongue, sympathetically rubbing your arm through the sleeve of your shirt.  “Honey, he’s stupid.  But still, he was wrong to speak to you like that.”

You sniffled, wiping some snot from your face with the arm that wasn’t being caressed by your close friend.  “I know… but it still hurts.  I wish he could just… I don’t know… be nicer to me?”

For what it was worth, both of you knew that Kid wasn’t truly ‘stupid.’  He was strong, strategic, and resilient, but when it came to matters of the heart, his brain dwarfed to the size of a peanut.  It was only a matter of getting the headstrong captain to realize how he had truly hurt you.

“Honey, sleep in here for a few nights to get a proper rest, away from him,” Quincy offered, standing up from her seat on your mattress to approach one of the wardrobes, pulling out a comfortable shirt and baggy pants to relax in.  “Let this blow over for a little while, and then you can try to talk it out with him.  We can help if you need it.”

You sat up yourself, gratefully taking the clothing from her arms, a small smile on your lips.  “Thanks, Quin.”

The curly-haired woman left the bunkhouse to let you change, passing by Killer trudging through the hallway, a towel draped over his scarred arm.  “Hey, have you talked to Kid?”

“He’s drunk off his ass right now,” Killer grumbled, dragging his free hand down his mask in a display of exasperation.  “I couldn’t get him to tell me what happened, but he’s gonna be out of it for the rest of the evening.”

Quincy bit the inside of her cheek as she assessed the first mate’s message.  “I’ll tell you.”

---

It had been about three days since the argument Kid had blasted you with in front of your crew mates, your humiliation and anger toward your captain burning a hole into your lungs.  You couldn’t contain your tears for at least six hours after your initial outburst, the grief of losing your parents in the way you had all those years ago now partnered with the anguish of screaming at Kid… and spitting on his face.  The act was so beneath you, and yet.  Dive and Hip, who had seen the argument first-hand, had helped to assure you that you weren’t in the wrong for what you had said, reassuring your stance that Kid was far too intimidating when all he wanted was a simple answer for your strange behavior.

Heat had come to you with a covered plate containing the dinner you had missed, informing you that Kid still had a very poor system of managing his emotions.  While you understood this first hand, being his partner for the better part of a year, you still didn’t believe that was a proper excuse to diminish your emotions in the way he had.

After those three days of your absence, strategically avoiding him at all hours of the day, Kid was fed up.  He needed to talk.  His bed was too empty without you.

Killer told him it would be a bad idea to call you to his quarters, but he did it anyway.  And when your anxious knocking reverberated through the thick wooden door of his cabin, he was quick to call your name and grant you entry.

You stepped in, shutting the door softly behind you, keeping your head low.  Kid stood from his mattress, clearing the floor in broad steps and trying his best to lay on the charm, wrapping his large arm around you and cooing his best, casual greeting, “Hey, babe, I’ve missed you.”

You shrugged yourself away from him, your eyes downcast.  You looked… hollow.  “Did you want something from me, captain?”

Kid felt a foreign pang deep in his chest.  You hadn’t been referring to him as your boyfriend or partner.  Right now, he was strictly ‘captain,’ and that notion left him feeling far too empty and vulnerable for his liking.

Fuck, he wasn’t good at this in any way.

Your gaze bore scorching holes into his own eyes, silently demanding the apology that you knew you deserved to hear from him.  With a deep sigh, Kid turned around and stomped back to his mattress, dropping his head into his hands.

“I didn’t know your parents died,” he blurted.

You stayed quiet.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”  His voice was a low grumble.

You suppressed a scoff.  “How about, ‘Sorry for yelling at you in front of the crew?’  Or, ‘I’m sorry for saying that your feelings don’t matter.’  Something like that, maybe.”  Your voice, in comparison, was eerily level, your time to be physically upset with the situation having expired two days ago.  Now all you were left with was an uncomfortable feeling of unease, a hole in your heart where Kid usually sat now being emptied and replaced with a barren cavern that desperately wished to be occupied by the man you loved once more.

Because you really did love him.  You knew his lifestyle, his behaviors, his tendencies toward cruelty.  And yet, he remained kind toward you.  He allowed you to open up to him and did the same in turn, and he nestled himself perfectly, albeit clumsily, into your life.  You didn’t want to lose that.

Watching as Kid clearly struggled forming those two little words on his tongue was like watching someone perform self-surgery.  His pride had impeded his sense of empathy for so long that the simple notion of apologizing was such an estranged concept for him.

How stunted.

But you held firm, remaining in front of his closed door as he kept his head in his hand, his thick fingers teasing through his slightly greasy red hair.  After what felt like an eternity, he finally picked his head up.  “I’m sorry.”

There it was.

He continued, sucking in a shaky breath.  “I really didn’t know it was the anniversary of your family’s death.  I wish I asked you about it sooner instead of… that.”

You stayed quiet.

“... Instead of yelling at you like that.  And attacking you for something that was out of your control.”  He kept his voice low, as if he was carefully picking out his words from a small bucket inside his thick skull.

After a few uncomfortable moments of silence, you released the tension in your shoulders with a sigh.  “And I’m sorry for spitting on you.  And for cursing you out.”

“No, you shouldn’t apologize,” Kid stated, finally picking up his head and gazing at you, his eyebrows furrowed.  “I deserved it, really.”  His fingers anxiously rubbed the rough fabric of his pants.  “Killer sat me down and gave me a bit of a beat down.  Physically and verbally.  Because I know I’m not good at this.  I’m not a good person.  And I really fucked up with you.”

You remained firm with your feelings, but you finally approached his bed and sat next to him, leaving a comfortable gap between your bodies that your captain, your partner, didn’t try to close.  He kept his distance from you, silently ensuring that you were allowed, and encouraged, to open up to him when you were the most comfortable.

“I just want to make sure that you actually mean it,” you whispered.  “And that you’re not just saying that without believing it.”

“I mean it,” Kid confirmed, his voice unwavering.  “I really do.”

You gazed at him apprehensively.  “... Promise?”

Silently, Kid held out his pinky toward you.

You looked at his finger, confusion glossing your features.  “What are you doing?”

“Have you never made a pinky promise before?” he asked.

Your mouth threatened to curl into a small smile.  “Can’t say that I have.”

Kid released his hand only so he could take yours, folding your fingers down so only your own pinky stuck out from your fist.  He repeated the motion with his own hand, curling his smallest digit around your own.  “It’s a promise that I mean what I said.  Killer and I used to do this all the time as kids.”

Your composure finally broke as you snorted, your own finger curling around his.  “That’s sweet…”

“The point is that, if I break the promise, you get to break my finger,” he explained.

“Suddenly everything makes sense,” you uttered, your lips finally curling into a grin.  “Don’t give me an excuse to break your finger.”

In response to your lighthearted plea, Kid raised his hand with yours still attached and pulled back down in a handshake gesture.  “Never.”

Your finger stayed curled around his as you gazed at your hand.  “I’m still kind of upset with you.”

Kid’s shoulders stiffened.  “I get why.”  After you stayed silent for a few extra moments, he finally asked, “What can I do to make it up to you?”

Your eyes bore into his once more, his gaze remaining steady as well.  “You can start by not jumping to conclusions… or being accusatory without any context.”  You sighed.  “I’m not telling you to change your entire personality, Kid, because I know who you are.  And I fell in love with the normal, regular You.  But I just ask for a little bit of kindness.”

Kid released your pinky in order to lace his entire hand with yours.  “I’ll give you more than a little.”

“Or I can break your pinky?” you asked once more, another small smile breaking out on your face.

Your partner grinned.  “I’ll throw myself overboard if you ask.”

You finally closed the gap between your bodies, tentatively laying your head on his shoulder.  “No… I wouldn’t want to lose you like that.”

[heavyhitterheaux]

Soft Launch

Requested by the cutie @jackslilsecrett 😘

AN: 🥰🥰

Synopsis: You're in the music industry and have been secretly dating Jack for close to a year. Now he wants to let the world know about you and how amazing his girlfriend is

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Jack Harlow Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

“Jack, will you stop it?!” You annoyingly asked your boyfriend of ten months who was currently drumming on your ass and making beats as you were trying to look over a script for a new movie that you would be starring in. Shooting wouldn’t begin for a while, but your manager thought that the role would be perfect for you. 

“I’m bored. Are you almost done?!”

“Baby, I literally just started reading this ten minutes ago. I am nowhere near done.”

“Well, how much longer?” Jack whined while continuing to make beats, but soon stopped and just laid his head on you. 

“I’m not sure, I don’t want to give you a specific time and then if I’m not done, you’ll blow a fuse.”

“I haven’t seen you in almost a damn month so yeah I’m about to blow a fuse. And I thought we both agreed not to do anything work related today?”

“I know but…”

All you did was look at him since he was now pouting and put the script face down on the dresser to give him your undivided attention.

“You are such a big baby.” You breathed out as you flipped over and opened your arms wide for him to come closer to you.

“Only yours though, so don’t get it twisted.” He answered as he laid his head on your chest and you began to play in his curls.

“Oh, I wanted to tell you something.”

“Of course, I’m all ears.” You replied while grabbing the remote to the television and turning it on Hulu to catch the latest episode of the Goosebumps reboot. You had been fascinated with the stories ever since you were a child and was excited to see them come to life on the screen.

“I’m having my Halloween party this year on the Saturday before it. You aren’t doing anything that weekend, right?”

“No, I should be free.” You answered while looking down at Jack who looked as if he wanted to say something else.

“Babe? Is there something else?”

“Um, what if we went together? To the party I mean?”

“Like…. As a couple?”

“Well, yeah. We are actually a couple so why not? I mean no one really knows about us besides like two people. But if you’re not ready, then that’s okay. It was just a thought I had. I want to be able to show my girl off to the world.”

You were quiet for a few minutes, going over different scenarios in your head when Jack looked at you curiously knowing that you were deep in thought.

“Baby?”

“I’m just thinking, that’s all. It’s just… if we do this we can’t take it back.”

“True.”

“And I liked having you all to myself.”

“And you’ll still have me to yourself. I’m not going anywhere, I’m yours and you’re mine.” He answered as he reached up to kiss you.

“Let’s do it then.”

Liked by y/nthesongstress, lilnasx, druski2funny, mariahthescientist, theshaderoom, and 2,171,937 others

jackharlow: Harloween '23

lilnasx: SOFT LAUNCH ANYONE?! ABOUT DAMN TIME! y/nthesongstressupdates: oh. this is interesting..... druski2funny: sooooo..... when she's not singing, jack is clapping her cheeks. confirmed. mariahthescientist: DRUSKI, PLEASE urbanwyatt: 👀👀👀👀 jackharlowsource: THESE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES ATE! sza: OKAY WOLVERINE AND STORM! COME THRUUUUUUU druski2funny: now jack and y/n see us up here in this comment section and just want to ignore us. ARE YALL TOGETHER OR NOT? urbanwyatt spill it since you know everything mariahthescientist: and the winner for best halloween costume is!!!! urbanwyatt: druski2funny what makes you think I know?!?! druski2funny: urbanwyatt don't ask dumb questions, give us the details urbanwyatt: ask them yourself druski2funny!

jackharlowdaily: so no one saw this coming from a mile away? they've been dropping hints for a while lol lilnasx: I'll stay quiet for now, but give me my credit where credit is due! jackharlowsource: Nas knows something and he needs to spill it and spill it NOW y/nthesongstress: jackharlow damn, we kinda ate this pic huh? jackharlow: y/nthesongstress you always make me look good 😏 y/nthesongstressupdates: well how long has she been making you look good for jackman? don't leave us hanging!

y/nthesongstress added to their story

Liked by jackharlow, lilnasx, reginaecarter, snohaalegra, hollywoodunlocked, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, and 2,183,394 others

y/nthesongstress: you can't get this thickness outta your mind 😜

jackharlow: definitely can't and I'm going to need my own private show 😍 lilnasx: yall nasty smh victoriamonet: jack has always been a groupie for y/n lol y/nthesongstressupdates: okay so we need details! how did yall meet? how long have yall been together? is it really as big as they say it is? jackharlowsource: y/nthesongstressupdates asking the real questions over here lol y/nthesongstress: lilnasx shouldn't have introduced us to each other then lol dojacat: damn mamas 😍😍😍😍 lilnasx: now I'm just the third wheel in that relationship. jackharlow I thought that it was me and you until the end of time? jackharlow: lilnasx and then y/n came along lol and you got pushed to the side urbanwyatt: lilnasx don't feel bad, he's forgotten about me too jackharlow: urbanwyatt LIES we just went to dinner LAST NIGHT urbanwyatt: jackharlow and you facetimed y/n for more than half of it y/nthesongstress: urbanwyatt omg Urby, I'll make it up to you, promise! I just wanted company on my ride home from the studio urbanwyatt: y/nthesongstress just buy me weed and we can call it even

Liked by jackharlow, yungmiami, lilnasx, urbanwyatt, justjared, hollywoodunlocked, mariahthescientist, and 721,273 others

y/nthesongstressupdates: I guess they've been dropping hints for a minute 😭

jackharlowsource: I just think it's so cute how lilnasx introduced them. him and y/n have been friends forever jackharlowdaily: come to think of it, any public event or award show they would always be sitting near each other lol lilnasx: and also making googly eyes at each other and making me sick smh y/nthesongstress: lilnasx you love it so shut up. I'll make sure you don't catch the bouquet with that attitude. mariahthescientist: I'm making sure that I'm going to be the one to catch it jackharlow: he's just jealous because I stopped making googly eyes at him and started looking at y/n druski2funny: y/n would have been better off dating me y/nthesongstress: now druski..... don't make me hurt your feelings urbanwyatt: lmaoooooo druski2funny: we could have done amazing things together y/n jackharlow: druski2funny don't make me kick your ass lilnasx: y/nthesongstress mani pedi date and it's your turn to pay jackharlow: oohhh mani pedi? count me in! lilnasx: andddd third wheeling again 😭

Liked by urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, quiiso, generationnow, champagnepapi,lilnasx, 2forwoyne, and 3,284,732 others

y/nthesongstress: I got the cutest dinner date 😍

druski2funny: I mean he's okay, he not alladat 🙃 lilnasx: and here his hating ass goes jackharlow: druski2funny will you give it up already?!? druski2funny: *insert bugs bunny meme* NO jackharlow: anyway 🙄 jackharlow: y/nthesongstress as long as I get to have you for dessert teyanataylor: can the two of you not keep your hands off each other for five minutes? jackharlow: teyanataylor no y/nthesongstress: teyanataylor no 2forwoyne: make sure yall bring me back any leftovers urbanwyatt: 2forwoyne I already called dibs, get in line y/nthesongstress: does yall best friend not feed yall? 2forwoyne: no urbanwyatt: no quiiso: no shloob_: no yungskylark: no jackharlow: now why are all of yall up here lying? 2forwoyne: y/nthesongstress your boyfriend hasn't fed me since the beginning of the CHTKMY tour jackharlow: 2forwoyne NOW....... y/nthesongstress: 😭😭😭😭😭

Liked by y/nthesongstress, dojacat, victoriamonet, urbanwyatt, glorillapimp, and 3,293,786 others

jackharlow: mesmerized every time I watch her. On and off the stage 😜

lilnasx: just like I said, NASTY. But my girl ATE though! get it baby! y/nthesongstressupdates: imma need her to sit on me jackharlow: me first y/nthesongstress: jackharlow you need to behave lol can't take you anywhere urbanwyatt: y/nthesongstress it's only going to get worse from here on out, I can feel it. it all started with him forgetting to feed us jackharlow: urbanwyatt yall are grown ass adults who can feed yourselves! and y/nthesongstress it's not my fault that you look so good all the time y/nthesongstress: urbanwyatt don't worry urby, I got your back. all of you can come over for dinner tonight and jack is paying jackharlow: WHAAAAT?! we were supposed to have a night in with JUST US 2forwoyne: pulling up in an hour yungskylark: someone come get me! jackharlow: not her volunteering me to feed the entire Kentucky army jackharlowsource: NOT HIM CALLING THEM THE KENTUCKY ARMY jackharlow: not about to have any food in my house smh y/nthesongstress: jackharlow oh, but you'll have plenty of food baby 😏😉 urbanwyatt: I..... please not in front of my salad jackharlow: y/nthesongstress OH, well I'm ready and urbanwyatt seriously? lilnasx: all I know is that I better be the first one to get a wedding invite and I want it hand delivered to me for putting up with all this lovey dovey shit

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@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

@evansxchalamet

@chtkmyharlow​

@itsyagirljaz

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@awhore4moree

@a-moment-captured

@jackmans-poison

@valentinqee

@lightsoutstyles

@j-worlds-blog

@middlechild404

@0elliotswhore

@iknowdatsrightbih

@w1ldthoughts

@love2loveonme

@hufflewhore128

@shawtypoison

@fantasywritersstuff

[thoughtsforsoob]

Jake thought :)

Note: I’ve been so busy with school n stuff so I’m going to give you all just a tiny little though. I’m sorry I can’t post much but I’ll try to remind yall that I’m alive 🥰 please enjoy (ps. t**il defenders and that son of bitch can all fucking rot)

I’ve been so fucking obsessed with Jake lately. He’s so boyfriend coded that it’s not even funny anymore. He dresses so bf. He’s always got a cute little fit and believe me, he’ll wanna match with you whenever possible. He arrives to your home before you two are heading out (or if yall live together, he goes into the room) and helps to coordinate your outfits. You just let him because it’s cute to see how excited he is to match with you. If it’s not a matching Tshirt, it’s matching chains or matching shoes. If you don’t want to wear some of those BIG ASS SHOES that idols love to wear, he doesn’t blame you. Also…if you’ve never had a Prada piece in your life, better believe he’s gonna ask you to make a list. If you don’t because you’re telling him you don’t need it or it’s too much, he’s shutting you up with a kiss. “Stop being silly, baby. I’m literally an ambassador. If I want something, they give it to me. I’m not paying.” He winks and you just roll your eyes at him. He helps you pick out a bag, sun glasses, and some loafers in the end. “My girl is going to look so good in my brand.” “Jake- it’s not your brand.” “SHUSH! It is.”

He wants to be public with you after a few months of dating and you’re so nervous. What if his fans go crazy and start looking for you? He comforts you by saying that they’ll love you because you take such good care of him…and you do! “They won’t know that, Jakey. They’ll think I’m just some useless girl who wants you for fame.” He hates seeing you so down so he gives you a kiss, “I’ll show them you’re the best girlfriend. They’ll have to find out one way or another. They need to see all out matching fits and all the cute pictures I take of you and Layla!”

[hxrtnett]

golden girl – charlie bushnell smau

𖤓°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ as costars for percy jackson, you and charlie are rumored to be together. your posts and comments on instagram only subtly give fans some shred of hope as they wait for the filming of the next season

warning/mention. swearing, “get a room” jokes, faint hate comments, nothing crazy just pure cuteness.

pairing. charlie bushnell x fem!reader

part two (soon!)

@.yourusername posted on instagram

♫ — golden by harry styles

@.yourusername life recently! wrapped our movie excited for you all to see it 💞

tagged: @.arianagreenblat in 5th photo, @.movietitle

like|comment|share

liked by @.walkerscobell and 36.2k others

— comments

@.user33 WHO ARE THOSE FLOWERS FROM MISS GURL?

liked by @.walker.scobell, @.leahsavajeffries, @.dior.n.goodjohn

@.aryansimhadri it’s supposed to be hot out tonight, make sure you keep your windows open and the grogu next to it! 🥰

@.yourusername OH BIIIITCH

@.arianagreenblat casually just posting shit that had you nearly injured on set

@.yourusername idk why they thought to put two teenagers on set and not expect us to go crazy

@.iamcharliebushnell cute boots

@.dior.n.goodjohn had to read that twice to make sure he wasn’t saying smth bad ..

@.yourusername BYEEE HAHAHSHS

@.walker.scobell she laughing like zendaya does with tom holland

@.yourusername dior is just that funny ok

@.yourusername also thank you charlie ☺️

liked by @.iamcharliebushnell

@.user78 the pink shoes 🥺 aphrodite’s bby

@.user13 golden is y/n’s song argue with a wall

@.user42 i love how her smaller supporting role got sm love, y/n you deserve the world

@.user88 tbh i think it’s overrated and people only like her bc she’s pretty, there is so much fame for no reason over her character

@.user42 blud who asked for your opinion

@.iamcharliebushnell posted on instagram

♫ — better than i know myself by del water gap

@.iamcharliebushnell dump of some favorites that don’t go together but deserve to see the light

like|comment|share

liked by @.leahsavajeffries and 74.8k others

— comments

@.yourusername “deserve to see the light” BOY LITERALLY POSTS A PICTURE OF ME SLEEPING

@.iamcharliebushnell at least i posted you and the flowers first before that one

@.yourusername mhmmm 😑

@.user77 two pictures of y/n and her new dog .. they’re so dating if they’re not just shoot me

@.user98 they can be friends yk

@.walker.scobell so charlie can meet y/n’s dog first but we can’t?

@.iamcharliebushnell bro you’re literally in school and states away, how are you gonna go to her house rn

@.aryansimhadri you’re at her HOUSE??

@.iamcharliebushnell oh my god yall act like this is life changing

@.aryansimhadri IT IS (we all visit her sm it rlly isn’t but it’s just you so..)

@.user62 the picture of y/n and the flowers is so pretty he always gets her flowers

@.yourusername i just look at them too long and then we argue over paying

@.user62 OMG HELLO??

@.leahsavajeffries WHO ARE YOU SHIRTLESS FOR? WOAHHH PG13 PG13

@.walker.scobell YOURE TRAUMATIZING LEAH

@.yourusername posted on instagram

@.yourusername came home to family getting a beagle, he’s kinda annoying but it’s ok he’s cute (he’s also charlie’s best friend now)

like|comment|share

liked by 36.7k others

— comments

@.yoursibling BRO STOP HATING ON HIM

@.yourusername HIS BARKS ARE LITERALLY SCREAMS?? AND I NEVER SAID I HATED HIM

@.iamcharliebushnell “he’s kinda annoying” literally every morning you’ve got him all coddled up with you

@.yourusername i can be honest and love him

@.walker.scobell just like how you’re honest abt charlie’s muscles and love him

@.yourusername YOU’RE GONNA BE BANNED FROM SEEING RUDY IF YOU KEEP IT UP

@.walker.scobell NAWW

@.user3 y/n when can we get more silena content 🙏

@.yourusername i have tons of photos in my camera roll ..

@.user16 BRO POST THEM

@.yourusername posted on instagram

♫ — hey blondie by dominic fike

@.yourusername more bts of season one since yall asked so “kindly”, you’ll see brandon & i more in season two dw we just had to make a small appearance first

tagged: @.thebrandonsevers, @.iamcharliebushnell, @.aryansimhadri, @.walker.scobell

like|comment|share

liked by @.dior.n.goodjohn and 41.1k others

— comments

@.user09 y/n our golden girl frfr

@.user11 silena and charles :(

@.user45 silena before the madness

@.user56 why is charlie so close to you in that fifth pic

@.walker.scobell bros already trying to manipulate her to join luke’s side

@.user56 BYE SO REAL

@.aryansimhadri bro get a room with that fifth pic

@.yourusername bro shut the fuck up

@.iamcharliebushnell i couldn’t imagine any other casting for silena

@.walker.scobell we literally had to cast someone you’re in love with or it wouldn’t work

@.walker.scobell it’s been 30 minutes and all i hear are crickets

@.thebrandonsevers miss you dude

@.yourusername omfg i miss you too tell me your schedule we need to meet up i’ll bring rudy too

@.walker.scobell so basically i’m the last to meet rudy

@.user67 i love how cute brandon and y/n are 🥺just two buddies fr and not letting haters change or fans speculate that

liked by @.yourusername

@.user5 so she literally posts herself or pictures with the guys,, literally none of the other girls and gets comments praising her and the guys .. such a pick me

@.leahsavajeffries dude the whole first two y/n posts of silena and pjo had only her or the girls, she’s just posting what she hasn’t and what’s special- and she isn’t all over the guys those boys r literally like her siblings

@.user20 GAG EM LEAH

@.user9 lol i love how she used hey blondie for the post even though girl had her hair brown for silena- the vibes are so cutesy

@.yourusername real i was going for the pink barbie theme and the song is so cute (plus dominic fike is so hot)

@.iamcharliebushnell hello 🧍‍♂️

@.aryansimhadri dominic fike more like mr steal yo bitch

@.user22 there’s no way this doesn’t confirm it

@.aryansimhadri if i’m blamed charlie started it

@.yourusername OMFG CAN YALL EVER SHUT YOUR MOUTHS

[baneonono]

watch house for the first time with me

season two episodes 11-20. were just gonna have to ignore spelling errors and stuff because I take these notes while it is very late at night. also if I’m wildly mischaracterizing the characters, it’s because I like it better and yes I am afraid that is how I watch tv shows. canon is whatever I want it to be, especially when I’m sleep deprived

11

“We need to talk about this” Wilson says like it’s his marriage that house is breaking up. I do love how invested Wilson is in Houses love life 

Wilson going to Stacy to yell at her is so iconic. I love my loyal man. Big puppy dog energy. 

“I can hear you caring” I love house. 

Wilson this episode: yelling at all parties involved in an affair, overly investing in other people’s romance, preparing drugs for patients to take, spilling everyone’s beans, trying to help everyone

I’m obsessed with how well house, Wilson, and stacy know each other. Mostly with how well house knows Stacy, Cuddy and Wilson. And then how well Wilson knows house

“You love me more” shut up shut up shut up house shut your face please 

Ughhhhhhh why are we doing this house and Stacy 

House did not just tell Cameron that he loves her. The way she flinched. 

The ultimatum house just gave Stacy-

So many things are happening that I want to scream about. Okay house with the kid is adorable in the exact opposite way Chase is adorable with kids. Because house is that person that kids love despite how unlikable he is and Chase kids love because of how likable he is and I just love them both. Also Stacy going to Cuddy the second she has house problems is amazing. I need more of them just chatting. When all of yall are beyond your in love with house phase can I get footage of you girls just gossiping. And can Wilson be there even though he’s the currently in love with house one and he will absolutely tell house everything said in the sacred gossip room. 

OH MY GOD MARK AND HOUSE SHOW DOWN IM SO EXCITED 

Mark going to the ex boyfriend is wild and he went so hard for it. House really just left him, a dude in a wheelchair, on the stairs.

House just can’t condemn mark to the same thing he went through, you heard it first

SAD ROOF BOY RETURNS BUT THIS TIME WILSON GOES TO FIND HIM. I KEEP WINNING

Wilson is really the shows method of moving everyone along emotionally. He’s not the oncology dude, he’s just hospital staff emotional support who happens to do oncology 

I do think that house was right that Stacy shouldn’t leave mark for house. He’s not gonna change, he doesn’t want to, I don’t think he trusts her, it’s better for everyone for her to move on 

12

House really just does whatever he wants and cuddy has to deal with it because he’s too smart

Chase🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 

I love when Wilson clocks house

Wilson: I don’t know him I don’t know him I don’t know him I don’t know him 

Girl- house- why are you testing your rivals drug on yourself, thinking it’s gonna not work

Foreman helping house😭😭😭😭😭😭

The triplets being so accommodating to house with the migraine he gave himself😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bro lying on the ground is such a mood. I adore him

Why why why why am I watching a kid get covered in maggots. Why would someone do that to me and that poor kid. The parents should just say no

Wilson getting house water while also assaulting his senses😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I love that Wilson is simultaneously caring for house and calling him out. What a man. 

This lumbar puncture is giving me anxiety. Like what if we don’t do this actually 

Foreman and Chase are so my second favorite duo in this show. 

House is unreasonably iconic

He’s really just a pathetic man trying insanely hard to not let it be known that he’s pathetic but I see him for what he is

It really is Wilson’s role in the show to tell us what everyone is feeling

13

Is…… is his leg getting worse?

Get house an mri 

Respectfully I don’t care about this girl. Let’s do house is the patient again. This father is stupid but it’s okay

House are you okay

I love that people look to Chase for comfort

House is so unhinged right now and it’s not fun to watch. Baby are you okay. Wilson come get your man what is going on

This episode is so gross

SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH HOUSE 

HOUSE ASKED WILSON FOR HELP

Okay house lashing out everyone was a great moment of humanization for him. Because we all see him as this infallible being 

Wilson pretending to be god is the cutest thing I’ve seen all day. He’s so silly. He’s so silly for house 

Love how Chase goes along with house

JESUS CHRIST HOUSE. YOU NEED TO GO SEE A DOCTOR MY DUDE. HOW ARE YOU NOT GOING TO A DOCTOR. YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ONE. YOUR ENTIRE TEAM IS DOCTORS. YOUR BOSS IS A DOCTOR. YOU ARE ONE. PLEASE GO SEE A DOCTOR

Okay placebo is all well and good but what is wrong with him. I’m so lost. 

Also nonbinary/trans representation in a 2004 show?

14

Just house and Wilson is insulting each other

Living for house shouting at Wilson across the hospital about his sex life and Wilson just assuming it’s about him having an affair

I love when house goes into actually saving a patient mode. Him at work is absolutely spectacular

Wilson was reaching our house. How did you look that in the face of your hurting friend and just say no

WILSON MY BABY BOY

welp I’m sorry baby but at least you get to hang out with your best friend more…

15

I’m betting that house isn’t gonna kick Wilson out

CHASE WAS ACTUALLY GONNA APPLAUD FOR HOUSES JUGGLING 

I’m living for roommates hilson so bad. Please never back him move out 

Absolutely obsessed with Wilson being a good cook and house stealing all of his food 

“Property of James Wilson, trespassers with be prosecuted!” What if he put that sticky note on himself instead of the fridge? Just saying 

Babygirl, if you’re gonna delete Wilson’s voicemails about new apartments, at least get him an air mattress so he doesn’t have to sleep on the couch. Come on man, where’s your manners

16

Okay why did Wilson put the girl in an elevator so house could do something

I LOVE THE PRANKS. IM SORRY IVE BEEN BUSY THIS EPISODE DOING THINGS BUT HOUSE AND WILSON LIVING TOGETHER AND PRANKING EACH OTHER IS THE CUTEST THING IVE EVER SEEN 

I dearly adore roommate hilson. Like so bad

17

That kid in the intro was gonna try to deliver the teachers baby. Also these fake outs as to who is gonna be sick are getting so boring. Girl I don’t care who it is that gets sick, I don’t know any of them. 

House I- he just always has to be messing with Wilson

House making Wilson lose is hilarious. Love everything 

I LOVE WILSON

house tell your boyfriend if you’re doing okay

Wilson says something smart and House falls a little more in love with him 

This episode is insane, kid is dying, matching a case of 70 year old, house is obsessed, house is playing mind games with Wilson, there’s a party, Wilson was called in for an actual consult. What is going on

Wilson just talks and hopes that it triggers something in house. 

I think what this episode taught me is that if house ever loses a case, I will break down

18

I have come to the deeply disturbing realisation that house has become my comfort show since I started watching it

Living for Chase actively doing procedures and Cameron/Foreman asking him for advice during the procedures. Like you guys can’t wait 30 minutes. 

This Ethical Dilemma is so boring. I don’t care at all. 

No one plays along with house’s metaphors like Wilson

How many languages does house speak????

Idk foreman if someone I viewed as a colleague came to me and said that, I wouldn’t push them away like that. Maybe try not to be annoying to Cameron, you do have to work together

19

NO WILSON MOVED OUT WHY NO WHY HAVE I BEEN FORSAKEN

House going to Wilson to rant and then Wilson going to House to rant. I love them

This patient is freaking everyone out and I am one of those people. Can you like chill bro. A little too into himself

Yes girl get Foreman. 

Chat my dads are fighting

The way I love Wilson so much

Chase is really the best triplet

WILSON ARE YOU INSANE

He’s insane, he may be clocking house but he’s insane

This episode is wild

NO HILSON ROOMMATES DO THEY WANT ME TO CRY. I WANT MY ROOMMATES BACK

20

HOUSE JUST SHOOTING A GUY IS SO FUNNY 

Aw did they get put in time out, the way everyone is just sitting there looking et each other looks like they got put in time out

Okay Foreman went to the house and he’s giddy, I’m thinking maybe we should think about the house. 

Chase is literally the only sane one this episode

I love that house clocked chase repeating foreman’s theories so quickly 

This isn’t fun times anymore

[fictionalsownme]

More Than A Woman | wilford warfstache x gn!viewer / reader |

chapter one - "I've known you very well"

A/N: hi everyone!! I'm so excited to post this! Usually I spend a long time on the stuff I write but I wrote a good chunk of this in a feverish burst haha, I've been wanting to write for Wil and had such a clear idea of how I see him in my head for so long :)) This fic will probably be around 10 chapters~ish and progress will probably be a little slow but I'm also trying to get faster at my writing so I guess we'll see! Getting it down is always the hardest, then you spend a bit of time hating it, then the fixing can start! Anyway, I hope you guys like this, I love this dorky weirdo a lot for whatever reason, and I'd love to write for other egos too :) ((there might be a guest appearance or two in here in the last few chapters if plans don't change 👀)) hope you guys enjoy the first chapter at least! lmk 🥰! word count: 2.9k notes: reader is gender-neutral, similar to all of mark's stuff :) -- the title is just after the song! no pronouns or descriptors are used other than the occasional they/them. reader is the viewer (& district attorney) from wkm, adwm, ahwm, iswm, etc, but that won't come up until later. wmlw wilford. story will be mostly fluff, some hurt/comfort & angst, lots of romance and flirting! story is adapted from an idea I had for my self insert. we will get into some lore stuff (or at least my understanding of the lore 👀) and filling in gaps with headcannons, but it's mostly about wilford & reader and I'll try to explain as we go so don't worry about it too much if you don't know all of it. especially since I don't know if my understanding is always 100% accurate 👉👈 let's have fun yall! 💞

masterlist | AO3

The music playing softly over the convenience store speakers was pleasant, if slightly boring. Like elevator music— there only to help ease the passing of time. Your night shift would end soon, and the sky could be seen as it lightened more every minute through the windowed front of the building.

Other than that, the old store was quiet. Dusty. Pink and orange neon strips lined the walls near the ceiling. They overpowered the dated fluorescent lights, casting everything in a slightly peach haze. Like a dream. 

Different sections of the store were marked with neon too, the letters glowed against the wall denoting the drinks, the snacks, the hot food… You liked your little store. Even if the unyielding isolation of your work made you a bit… complacent. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d truly talked with someone.

The ice creams chilled your fingers through the wrappers as you pulled them from their box and slotted them into place. Even with the cold air of the freezer wafting over you, you could smell the cool summer air coming in the sliding front doors.

You liked to prop them open on dawns like these. The convenience store lights did draw in the occasional pestering bug, but they usually found their way out again before long. You did get a bat once. Albeit a little crazed and frantic, you were surprised to find it harmless. Maybe a little lost. Now that thing seemed like it would never leave. 

Refocusing on your task, you brushed your condensation-soaked fingers on your work apron, tied tight behind your neck and around your back, and shut the freezer door. 

The motion alert chimed a pleasant tune through the staticky old speakers as a customer entered the open doors from the street.

You called an automatic, “Welcome in~,” and went about straightening a shelf of snack bars and chocolate. You didn’t bother to look in their direction as you heard them make their way through the aisles.

“Pardon me,” said their strange, nearly British accent from beside you now. You turned to the source of the voice, the man who’d just walked in, and your eyes went to his outfit first. 

A silky-- almost sparkly in how it caught the light-- lavender shirt with mismatched buttons revealed expanses of his bare chest. It was paired with white bell-bottoms and a fake pink afro hanging half-off his head, about to fall off. He had olive skin and dark hair-- nearly black--, fluffy and sticking up every which way like hands had been running through it. Scruffy facial hair framed a thick mustache that tinted slightly pink where it turned up at the ends.

He looked… honestly, he looked ridiculous. But the 70s getup was fun, you supposed. And his eyes-- dark brown and monolid-- were handsome. Underneath all the… extra mess. You blinked, slowly, in a way that felt like waking up.

“Uh, hi. Are you coming from a costume party or something?” It was August, but you supposed it was never too early to start the spooky season. 

“Oh! Do you know of one? I do love a good costume. But no. Just the regular-sort. Just woke up from one.” He scanned the products near his head, grabbed a protein bar, sniffed the wrapper, guffawed, and put it back.

“You just woke up? Are you alright?”

“Oh, worry not, friend, this is normal for my level of reverie! I’m not even hungover!” He laughed, his hands going to his hips.

You stared at him.

“I was just looking for something to gnaw on! To nourish myself before I’m on my way.” His eyes were still traveling all over, not really seeing you.

Now in theory, a strange man coming in at this hour, acting even stranger, with his clothes disheveled? You knew you should be on your way to your safe space behind the counter to get him checked out and exiting the store as fast as possible. But there was something about him… 

Something you couldn’t place…

Instead you raised your eyebrows and relaxed against the cooler door. “Uh, I guess that depends on what kind of food you like,” You offered. After a moment, his gaze landed on you and he seemed to finally take you in. Your uniform, your crossed arms, your patient expression, your features. His face scrunched into confusion.

A moment passed, staring at each other like that. “Your shirt’s looking a little rough, you know.”

“Have we met, friend?” He asked as he began to fix his buttons. 

You watched passively as more of his chest came into view. He either didn’t notice or didn’t mind your blatant staring. You weren’t sure why you were staring, or what you were feeling as you did so. 

You weren’t gawking at his abs or anything-- well,-- not that he didn’t have abs. He did, sort of. The expanse of his chest and abdomen were tight with toned muscle. He definitely wasn’t lacking abs, anyway. Either way… this was about something different. 

You wondered for a moment if a vague familiarity was what you were picking up on, but quickly dismissed it.

“I feel like I’d remember meeting you.” 

You realized with a start that your comment could be seen as flirtatious, and added quickly, “Just, you know-- generally.”

But he just hummed and spun on his heels, turning away. You sighed and found yourself in-step behind him, hands in your uniform pockets. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“Well, either way!” He started, his energy returning tenfold. “Let's see what this cute little shop has to eat!” 

For some reason, you asked, “Do you have money?” 

He froze. “Er, no~. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Mind what?”

“Well, spotting me of course! Let’s just say I owe you one, eh friend?”

You rolled your eyes, smiling. “Thought so.” 

Thought so? Maybe you did know him… 

It was your turn to squint in displaced confusion. “What’s your name?”

His voice came from behind you and you spun around, your shoes squeaking on the tile floor. When did he sneak around you? 

He bent over and twirled his hand, a flamboyant bow finally knocking the afro off his head. “Wilford Warfstache, at your service.”

“That’s your name?” 

He righted himself. “For now.” It suited him well enough, but for some reason it sounded misplaced.

… But no, either way, you definitely hadn’t met him before. You didn’t know many people in the first place, let alone someone so eccentric.

Still, you were curious about him. Curious about his personality and who he was. He felt sort of like a puzzle waiting to be solved. And so far, despite his quirks, despite how admittedly weird you’d also been acting, he’d been friendly. You couldn’t say the staring and prodding questions were too in-character for you. At least not when it came to customers. 

His hair looked softer without the wig to weigh it down-- parted at his brow and long enough to fluff over the tips of his ears and end where his neck met his spine. You reached down to scoop the curly mop of synthetic hair up off the floor.

“Where did you get this thing?”

He hummed something like ‘I don’t know’, his eyes sort of wide like a clueless puppy’s. 

“What, you just kind of have it?”

“Yea’p.”

You squinted at him, a smirk forming on your lips. “How about I do you a favor and throw this away?”

He shrugged, hummed an ‘alright’ sound, and turned away. 

“Oh no, I was kidding! God, here--!” You had to grab his wrist to stop him from wandering off further and placed the pink afro in his hand.

You had just been trying to tease him, but now you just felt bad. “Look, Wilford, you want something to eat? We have to throw the hot food out every night. You can have a taquito or a slice of pizza or something if you want.”

Then he was frozen again-- staring down at where your fingers wrapped around his wrist. Your eyes followed his gaze down and then you were staring too.

A moment passed. Then two. Finally, you let go and crossed your arms again, tucking your hands away where they couldn’t embarrass you again.

“... Fuck, I’m sorry. I-I don’t know why I did that.” You did your best to clear your throat.

But he was still stuck there. He blinked a few times and his gaze met your eyes, his brows gathering together. 

“Wh-What did you say your name was, friend?” He seemed so… serious all of sudden. So dire.

You hadn’t mentioned it yet, but told him with a hesitant voice. 

His expression blanked, eyes widening. He brought his arm, the offending afro in tow, to his chest, touching his wrist where you’d held it.

“Oh…” 

You raised your brows and asked softly, “Sorry, do you know me, then?”

“Hm?” And he blinked like his mind was clearing, like he’d forgotten you were there. 

He cleared his throat, smiled-- ear to ear-- his mustache lopsided like a cartoon. “Oh-- nevermind about that! Some food would be lovely, if you don’t mind.”

His eyes were sparkling. 

“Sure. I mean, it’s nothing fancy. Here,” And you walked over towards the front counter. Wilford trailed close behind you-- holding onto the wig in his hands like a school kid holding a lunch box-- his gaze wandering over the store again like he hadn’t seen it the first time.

You arrived at the hot foods section, a glassed-off section of day-old food over heated rods. You shrugged. “If you have a sensitive stomach, maybe don’t,” you started, “but it’s mostly fine to be honest. I eat it if I’m in a pinch, you know.”

You hopped up to sit on the counter, your legs facing Wilford, and leaned back to reach around and grab the tongs waiting there. You straightened and clapped them together twice. You offered him a smile. “What’ll it be, Mr. Warfstache?” Then a quieter, “--that was your last name right?”

“Do you gravitate towards anything yourself?”

“Can’t go wrong with a slice of pizza, I guess. Even here.”

His smile grew sort of soft. “Then that. If you please.”

“You got it.”

You leaned over again and served up the slice of moderately warm and slightly greasy pizza on a brown napkin and passed it off to him. 

“Much obliged.”

You got one for yourself too, and when you righted and your eyes found Wilford again, he was sitting in a retro-style diner chair you’d never seen before-- his feet against the edge of the counter beside you.

You couldn’t help the surprised laughter that choked out of you. “Wha-- where did you even find that?”

The chair teetered on its two legs as he leaned precariously back, tilting his head at your question. The pink wig sat in his lap and you couldn’t help thinking it looked like some weird dog.

“Well, there’s no need to worry! I’m only borrowing it, I’m not a barbarian.”

And you just knew you weren’t getting more of an answer than that.

“So who even are you?” You asked as he took a bite of the pizza, somehow pulling all the cheese right off the top in one piece. He pouted down at the offending mozzarella, slurping it into his mouth and swallowing it. “Do you live around here?”

“Mm. I don’t really live anywhere. Much more the exploring-- ever on the move-- type.”

He was so expressive. It really felt like talking to an old cartoon come-to-life or something. You turned to lean against the side of the glass cover, swinging your legs so your feet rested on the counter, not far from his still against the edge. You weren’t touching at all, but you were surprised at how quickly the two of you fell into a casual-- albeit timidly curious-- rhythm. 

“So what do you do?” And you began to eat too.

He beamed, his smile reaching all the way to his eyes. “I’m an interviewer! Warfstache Tonight, that’s what my show is called! It’s quite a professional endeavor!”

You smiled and hummed around your bite of pizza, impressed. That actually explained a lot. And it suited him nicely enough. “Sounds pretty glamorous.”

“And what about you? You can’t just be a convenience store clerk!” He seemed so affronted by the idea. Crinkling his nose, dropping his voice an octave. “How dreadfully boring.”

You winced. “‘Just a convenience store clerk?’ Ouch, Wilford…” You couldn’t help frowning down at your slice. 

 “Oh! No no, pardon me!” He let the chair fall back to four legs, waving the idea way with a panicked hand. “I only meant that… this isn't what truly stirs your passions, is it? Do you do anything at your leisure? For work or just… something you enjoy?”

You squinted at him. But you didn’t really think he was trying to insult you. And he wasn’t wrong. It just… wasn’t always the most fun when someone pointed it out. Especially like that. 

You sighed, fidgeting as you considered his question. “Not right now… This job keeps me pretty occupied. But you know, it’s not too bad. It keeps me, I don’t know, grounded I guess.”

He thought for a moment, then nodded, taking another bite. “I do hope you get more opportunities soon, then.” He said, surprisingly grounded.

You looked at him. “... Thanks.” And you meant it.

“And… my apologies for the earlier, uh, miswording.”

 “That’s fine… I’d be curious to hear more about your show, though! Have you interviewed anyone interesting or anything?”

A beat. A sort of tiredness settled into his shoulders and he peered up at you. “The odd gold-star guest did wander in from time to time. I’m not sure if my skills were quite deserving of them at the time.”

Was that… shame?

“The truth is, I couldn’t quite live up to the role. I--” He laughed, pained. He cleared his throat. “I’m taking a bit of a break from show business for the moment.”

Ah. So that’s what happened. You offered him a sympathetic smile. “To party? That’s probably why you don’t have any money, Wilford. And why you have to rely on shitty convenience store food?” You held up your greasy napkin like it was evidence.

“Now don’t underestimate the power of a good party! And this food is fine, I’m grateful for it,” He crumpled the now empty napkin and gestured wildly with it. “The truth is I get by just fine. I’m just not sure what else I should be doing.”

You looked out the front windows. The sky was getting lighter. The timer marking the end of your shift would go off any minute.

So maybe that’s why he’d been asking you about your passions. You felt bad for him. He was strange, to be sure. And a little hard to follow. But he was also… sweet. He had a softness about him.

And still… there was that feeling that hadn’t disappeared since meeting him. Like… like your soul recognized him. Maybe not deeply. But distantly. Like you’d met him in a dream. It was a ridiculous notion. Ridiculous didn’t seem beyond his territory.

You turned, legs coming down from the counter once again. You leaned forward, your hand landing at the junction of his shoulder and neck. His silk shirt was soft under your fingers. His eyes jumped up to yours and you looked down at him with a smile. 

“You liked doing your show right? You want to be an interviewer?”

He nodded slowly. His lashes fluttered. 

“Then that’s what you should be doing! You just have to try again!” You shrugged with one shoulder. “It might suck a lot. And you might fail again. But pick yourself back up. Keep going. I’m sure you can do it if you keep at it and think outside the box, you know. Failing only means failing if you stop.”

You leaned back, your hand sliding away. He stared at you.

“That’s what the rest of us do, anyway. Honestly, maybe you should do your show online! You know, livestream it or something. I’m sure you’d find your own way to it.”

Slowly, a smile crept back in, the corners of his eyes creasing. 

“What a wonderful idea…” 

God, his eyes… 

You looked down at your own napkin, laughing a little at yourself. “Wilford, I promise, the advice I just gave you was nothing crazy.”

“Well, perhaps it’s just a little too rare that I get a pick-me-up.”

You hopped down from the counter. “Swing by whenever, I’ll hand them out for free. Though, if you’re always on the move, I guess you’re probably not in town for long, huh?”

He quickly followed your lead and stood, his chair nearly falling in his haste. “Uh— w-well I, I don’t know, I could always… linger for a day or two. Hard to say really.” 

“Uh huh.” You smirked at him, raising your brows. “Well, if that constant partying you have going on brings you back here, feel free stop in, okay? … It’d be nice to have someone in here every once in a while. Well, someone friendly, anyway.” 

“Right. Will do. Of course.”

You gave him two solid pats on the chest and turned to throw the napkins away behind the counter. When you turned to face him again, he was gone.  Only slightly confused, you quickly recovered and yelled a quick, “bye~!” to the now empty store.

[hijackalx]

KARLACH SFW HEADCANONS: 

 shes literally the least toxic out of everybody 😹😹 SHES JUST SO SWEET !!!! she loves to take care of tav, like after battles she'll have them sit on her lap while she dresses their wounds HELP !!! and the whole time she'll tease them with sneaky touches. she also likes to pick up tav, like spinning them around or throwing them over her shoulder is funny to her.

shes got a really innocent and childlike quality to her especially when shes in love like her and tav banter so often but its always lighthearted and sweet. and theyll play games with each other while traveling like who can throw the rock the farthest or some shit 😹😭 karlach would win normally but she likes to hold back so tav can win.

i also think shes pretty sensitive lowkey and its easy to upset her. she doesnt get mad though she just gets in her feelings and gets sad and distant. might need reassurance from tav sometimes when it comes to how much they love her.

love language:

giving = psychical touch and gift giving.

after not being able to touch people for soooo long of course her love language is touch. she literally cant get enough of tav, she almost always has a part of her touching them. i feel like she likes to wrap her tail around their leg when theyre talking lol like a cat. i can also see her being really excited to give tav items shes found or bought. all because they reminded her of them 🥰 her and tav should start a rock collection she'd love finding pretty rocks for them im crying can u imagine the party walking through the mountain pass and karlach keeps stopping to excitedly point out a rock to tav 😭😭

receiving = obv psychical touch but also acts of service? i feel like she doesnt ever EXPECT anything from anyone so when tav does go out of their way to do things for her it almost makes her cry lol.

shes also def as big and buff as she looks. like 6'4 pure muscle baby. she is a sight to behold. also feel like shes got bangin thighs and some booty too 🤭 she loves to sit tav on her thighs and do some nsfw things with them too lol

KARLACH NSFW HEADCANONS:

 okay so karlach i feel is very switchy. like she really enjoys being dominant and on top but she'll also be submissive and bottom too. she really just likes to do what tav wants. that being said i feel like shes rlly a giver like she just wants to see tav get off and it turns her on so much.

ok this might be kind of obvious but she will want tav to call her mommy LMAO like she loves it and she also loves when tav calls her that outside of sex its just so saucy eugh 😜

sooo into thigh riding like will sit tav on her thigh and bounce them or press her thigh/knee betwen tav's legs so they can grind against her like its her favorite OK

cannot get off if tav hasnt yet so how long she lasts usually depends on them. its that serious

okay. listen. i feel like karlach is more on the vanilla side AND I KNOW RHATS NOT WHAT YALL WANNA HEAR BUT YOU WILL HEAR IT ANYWAY !!!!!! like besides the mommy thing she just doesnt have that many kinks BUT she will participate in whatever kinks tav has so 🤷🏼

likes to wear a strap. a big ass gargantuan one too #prayfortavshole i also think shes prolly a lil dry normally cuz of her condition and all that...... but thats ok baby thats why we have lube 😘 (also LOVES when tav uses their spit as lube)

aftercare is very important to karlach cuz she likes to take care of tav already like i said before. like she'll clean them up and maybe suggest giving them a bath after 🥺 and she'll tell them how much she enjoyed it and all that

[lordprettyflackotara]

psa i will be participating in kinktober (soooo excited for dat). i’ll announce the line up later on 🥰 who do yall want to see ?!