#except you're never really happy when your happiness depends on what someone else thinks of you

[mostlyvampires]

After 100 performances....

Louis: They went at it on the floor, Armand taught Lestat the Mind Gift, and a week later, he was gone.

[entiqua]

I love your artstyle!! Do you have any tips for drawing?

thank you so much! i'm really happy you like it!!💗 as for tips, what i would say would change drastically depending on what kind you're looking for, but some very general ones:

draw what you love and want to see most, regardless of whether anyone else wants to see it. if you don't enjoy what you're drawing it'll never come out as good or genuine as something your whole heart and soul is in. i mean you'd think this would be a no-brainer but sometimes i've had to sit back and ask myself 'if no one was ever going to see this except me, would i actually spend time drawing this?' and i was surprised by the answer

that said, it is also completely valid if your motivation for drawing is to draw for other people! there have been plenty of times where i was too artblocked to draw my own ideas but was still able to draw commissions or gifts and enjoyed it simply because making other people happy with my art makes me happy.

don't get too caught up in having a consistent art style. in my experience this 1000% hinders you

having your sense of anatomy degrade over time without you noticing because you keep drawing the same types of characters is a very real thing! if this is a concern to you be sure to draw a variety

follow a billion artists that you like the art of and you will have endless inspiration injected directly into your brain every time you open social media

my favourite practical tip for those who draw at a desk: keep a small mirror next to you at all times. absolute game changer for quickly referencing hands

if you're drawing digitally, make the canvas huge! in my experience this lets you draw messier/faster and you can't tell at all when you zoom out. if you tend to get stuck spending unnecessary amounts of time micromanaging pixels (me💀) keep it zoomed out while drawing

related to the above point, messy drawings can have far more expressiveness in them than neat and polished drawings. nowadays i never do lineart and go straight from 'barebones stickman pose' to 'varying-levels-of-coherent sketch' and use that as my lineart. sweet freedom from the sketch-looks-better-than-the-lineart phenomenon

if your goal is to improve, then you really do have to scrutinize your art, figure out what you're not satisfied with, and commit the time to focusing on it. 'practice makes perfect' kinda rubs me the wrong way because of how much i've seen it interpreted as 'just draw everyday and you'll magically improve' but genuinely it won't get you very far if you don't actively think hard about what you're trying to improve and take the steps to do it. is this a hot take idk. also hand in hand with this, not every artist is trying to improve and you shouldn't feel bad for this! maybe you just wanna make a little headshot doodle of your fave blorbo and that's your only drawing goal ever. awesome. maybe you know your art has flaws but it's passable enough to convey what you want and you're perfectly satisfied with that. (this is the stage i'm usually at). also awesome!

don't hesitate to draw something because you think it's out of your skill level. the worst that can happen if you draw it is that it comes out terribly but you learned something and can always redraw it better in the future. the worst that WILL happen if you don't draw it is that you'll never draw it. and then it will sit in the back of your brain haunting you for years. it's not like i'm speaking from experience or anything aha

look up 'hand stretches for artists' and do them if you draw a lot unless you wish to summon the wrath of the carpal tunnel demons

of course, these may not necessarily work for you, and most importantly(!) these are coming from the perspective of someone who is primarily a hobbyist. some of this won't be practical for people who need to build an audience, maintain a consistent style for work, etc. these are just things that have personally helped me over many years of drawing :)

[nawoken]

TWST x Broken Soulbond! Reader

(You come from a world where Soulmates are real)

To understand more about the setting, you can read this.

5.C: Meow meow, never finish anything but always have time to cause more problems! It's me Space Cat!

Pairing: First-year students x g/n Reader (Can be platonic or romantic I guess, except Ortho and Grim though)

Warning: :D)

The moment they saw the bloody red line cut across your wrist, right on your blood vessel location, time stood still.

Ace Trappola

Really Prefect? Never thought you would be the type to… enraptured by love.

No? It’s not that? Then what can that thing be?

So, you guys actually have the thing like “Soulmate”?! Cool.

After hearing your story, it will cause him to be speechless. What kind of stupid joke is that?!

Because the one who is supposed to be your friend or lover refuses the bonding between you, now you have to bear the pain? That is shitty.

It’s not you nor your soulmate's fault in this, he knows. But it didn’t stop him from calling your soulmate some bad names though.

If you admit that you used to want to hurt your Soulmates the way they hurt you. He will stun a bit.

Damn… But well, can’t blame you on that, he will also be like that if he is you.

Even when he is mischievous and likes to tease you, he still cares about you a lot.

He won’t mention about this again if you don’t want to and might even help you hide it.

Gives you his Basketball wrist wrap as a replacement for your old one.

Look, you guys also have something matching, maybe both of you also are Soulmates.

* If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

He will wrap his hand around your wrist, covering your mark completely without thinking.

Lying that he was afraid that you might get lost when he’s not looking or something.

Holding your hand until you find another way to cover your wrist (How about lending us your jacket? Nah, he is cold.)

Deuce Spade

He is worried and wants to ask you about it but is also afraid to hurt you in the process.

Keeps looking at you then turns away until you can’t stand it anymore and tell him everything.

He is angry for you, it’s not fair for you to be the only one in pain. Shouldn’t the one who refused the bond be punished for their doing?

Definitely on your side!

Depending on your Soulmate's gender, if he has a chance to meet them, he might punch them for hurting you.

Like, both of you can be friends, why do they have to refuse the bond and cause you miserable?

He can be a bit protective of you after this, always checking your wrist and asking if it is still painful or not.

Telling him you want to hurt your Soulmate? He does not entirely agree with this but won’t stop you though.

If it makes you feel better then maybe, just maybe violence is okay.

He doesn’t have any wrist wrap but he will get you and him a matching pair.

Blush every time someone asks about it though. But it’s okay, at least you look happy.

Lowkey think that he’s the type to carry around extra wrist wrap for you to prevent this situation if it happens again.

* If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

Panic more than you, immediately standing in front of you to shield you from other eyes.

Stuttering when trying to find an explanation or a reason for his strange behavior.

You have to calm him down and maybe hint to him that you're “cold”.

It might take time for him to understand though. But if he has the matching one with you or the extra one, he will give it to you instead.

Jack Howl

Silent… He is the calmest and most mature among the first-year students. Doesn’t want to interfere in something that is not his business.

But you’re his friend and he cares about you so he will ask if you want to talk about it.

Respect your decision no matter what.

If you refuse then he will keep quiet about this and pay more attention to you after.

If you tell him the story? He would still behave like when you refuse but with more understanding about the situation.

He doesn’t throw hate or anger toward your Soulmate, being a friend or something more than that with someone should be your own choice not by some force.

Thinks that your Soulbond thingy is ridiculous for that.

He doesn’t blame you for wanting to take revenge on your Soulmate but also doesn’t encourage you to do that.

This dude will ask you to join his exercise more because this is the best way for you to release stress and negative feelings for him. (It’s true, but I hate it)

Jack is like a guard dog.

He is a bit of a tsundere and won’t admit that he is always checking on you to make sure that you’re okay and that your wrist wrap not failing you the second time.

I have a feeling that he will patch your wrist wrap back to normal if it’s torn apart.

If he gifts you a new one, it will be Sport wrap for sure, more stretchy and flexible. The same company that he always buys his stuff from

* If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

He moves fast, takes off his jacket, and throws it on you.

Don’t let anyone ask anything about it.

Makes sure that you’re okay emotionally and physically after the accident.

Don’t have his jacket? Grabbing your wrist like Ace while blushing like hell. Stop looking at his wagging tail or he will leave you there on your own (no, he won’t).

Epel Felmier

He is stunned for a second before grabbing your arm and demanding to know who hurt you like this.

Ready to hurt someone until you’re able to calm him down and explain everything.

After that? He still wants to hurt someone. But this time, it’s your Soulmate he wants to punch.

He is not that angry, but more unhappy and annoyed by the fact that you have to bear the consequences due to some else decision.

He might be shy and stiff about showing you his gentle side since he thinks that it’s not manly for him to do so, this will be an exception.

But it will be kinda awkward.

Especially if you cry? He will panic. Patting your back stiffly while trying to find the right words to comfort you.

You want to hurt and destroy your Soulmate by rejecting your bond too?

Cool, you should, they deserved it for sure.

If You want to punch them then he will be the one who holds your Soulmate back for you, or even join you in that mess.

Your secret is safe with him (not really and it’s Rook's fault).

He gets you a fingerless glove that is long enough to cover your wrist, Rook’s recommendation.

* If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

Pulls you behind him and shields you like Deuce but minus the panic part.

Glares at anyone who stares at you, might even punch them if they don’t stop.

Gives you his jacket right after if he has it. + If not, pull your hand and run back to Ramshckle or Pomefiore (whichever is the closest) so you can find something to use.

Ortho Shroud (Platonic)

You should calm him down and explain stuff fast before he blasts the whole school to find out who hurt you.

He is fascinated to learn more about your world and knowing that you guys have things like “Soulmates”

But that is for later, he is irritated about the fact that your Soulmate rejected your bond.

Top 1 anti-fan of your Soulmate. If that person somehow gets into Twisted Wonderland, they will be blasted for sure if you don’t find them soon enough.

There are a lot of things he doesn’t understand well, especially why someone chooses to reject their destiny.

For him, Soulbond should be something beautiful and strong. The connection between those who are in tune, aren’t it?

Then why is your Soulmate like that? There must be some mistake then. You deserve someone better.

He will scan you, especially your mark, and ask you a lot of things to know more about this “Soulmate” stuff.

You used to want to reject your bond to make your Soulmate hurt the same way? He supports your decision with all his will.

Normally, he will tell Idia about things like this, but if you ask him not to, he will respect you. (Unless Idia checks his memory though…)

I think he will ask Idia to make you a watch that won’t easily removed to cover your mark instead of a wrap.

* If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

It’s happened so fast that you don’t even understand how are you around six feet off the ground in a blink.

Ortho took you to Ignihide before you could even protest.

At least it works right? Unless you’re afraid of heights.

Sebek Zigvolt

Speak in his usually loud tone that you are a weak and stupid human for hurting yourself like that for some undeserving brat.

Wait, you’ve not committed suicide? Then what is that thing?! He demands to know who has hurt his fr… his liege’s “consideration” friend.

Knowing that your world has a thing like Soulbond is a surprise for him, never think someplace where magic is not present will have something powerful like that.

But knowing that your Soulmates had done something like cutting the bond between you guys, he is furious.

That is irresponsible for them to do that. The bond is between the two of you, not just one person's problem.

Rejecting the bond on your own behalf and hurting the other half of your soul is reckless and selfish.

You want to hurt your Soulmate too? He won’t stop you, they deserved that for neglecting their responsibility.

The way he shows that he cares about you is awkward but he does care more than he admits.

He won’t tell anyone about your mark, except Malleus and Lilia. He can’t lie nor hide anything from them.

He is too embarrassed to give you the gloves that are long enough to cover your wrist he bought for you, even when you two are alone.

He just has an extra pair that he doesn’t use, don’t think much about it. (Don’t mind the fact that it fits your hands perfectly)

If your mark is exposed after this when there’s someone else nearby:

Tells you to get behind his back and grumbles about your carelessness.

He won’t grab your hand if he doesn’t have his jacket to give you, that is scandalous.

Gives up eventually after you insist a few times.

Shut up, Human! He is not blushing, his ears are not reddening.

***Grim*** (Bonus)

I don't think he understands much about this, love, hate, or soulmate. Is it edible?

All he knows is there is someone who hurt his Henchman and he wants to scratch and burn that person with his magic.

If you show your sadness when your mark is exposed, and he notices it?

Every time your wrist wrap falls, he will jump up and cling onto your arm with all his strength. Covering your mark with his body

Don't worry, he is here for you, Henchman.

But he wants a tuna can for his hard work!

[sanjoongie]

𝖛𝖊𝖗ä𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖓

Verändern: the German word for change, modify, vary, transform

Pairing: Fae! Yunho x Changling! Reader (f)

Genre: smut

Au: fae, changling, modern fantasy

Trope: s2l, bonded mate

Word Count: 2,358

Warnings: public sex, slight fear kink, restraints, dom! Yunho, sub! Reader, brat! Reader, oral (f), breast play, penetrative sex with no barrier, finger sucking (f), tummy bulge, gag (hand, fingers), pull out game, jerking off on stomach?

Rated: 18+ MDNI

Summary: one night, during the autumn solstice celebration, you're whisked away by a hooded man, dropping a bomb to your life. Except you kind of believe him. It wasn't the first time someone accused you of being different.

Author’s Note: @flurrys-creativity to my champion, the one who will fight for me when I cannot. My tag for you is ironic considering how much I depend on you. You may make me wanna tear my hair out but at the end of the day, who else would validate my logic? Also i really hope i didn't butcher the title *pained seonghwa emoji*. Happy belated birthday flurrs, I hope you had a good one

Branches pulled at your hair and clothes, almost as if they were trying to hold you back. You would have leaned into their help if not for the tall, Fae man dragging you through said dark and menacing forest.

“Don’t ever enter the Darkling Forest, sweet,” your mother always told you. “You’ll get trapped and never return.”

Was it a different situation if you were forced into said forest?

Rewind to perhaps a couple hours earlier, where you were celebrating the autumn equinox. You had a solo cup full of a neon green liquid that burned down your esophagus every time you chugged it. You might have gone for some beer if not for the rowdy crowd of people permanently stuck to the keg. 

Not that you were one to turn down a good time with some alcohol but you weren’t starting to feel like you shouldn’t have come to the gathering. Your social battery was already at an all-time low from your job and your family. You were starting to want to kick your past self in the but for agreeing to go to this, despite your busy schedule.

Taking another sip from your cup, your eyes skirted around the blazing bonfire near the dark edge of the forest, and your eyes settled on a figure near the edge. The shadows seem to cling to their lanky form. Unlike the rest of the people around you, bundled up in puffy jackets and fuzzy sweaters, this person had a thin cloak that fluttered in the moonlight. You saw peeks of red and gold. You weren’t one to judge someone on what they chose to wear to a party, but this seemed extremely out of whack. 

Then, the person cocked their head towards the forest and then disappeared into its depths. 

Now, you weren’t a stupid person to simply follow a stranger into the woods. You were more likely to end up on a crime documentary as the killer rather than the victim. But there was something in your chest that was pulling you to follow them. 

You threw your solo cup in a can after downing the rest of the contents, of course, and took long strides to meet the edge of the forest.

Fuck it, the party wasn’t that fun anyways. 

Bathed in the moonlight in a clearing was the person you had been following. The light from the moon seemed to only highlight his light-colored hair that had to be dyed because no one had hair that natural color. His dark eyes under his fringe, however, were solidly locked on you.

“I didn’t think you’d come. Perhaps they are right,” the man murmured to himself.

You sighed tiredly. “Look, if this is a ruse to kill me, I’ve got a knife in my bag, and I know exactly where to dump a body.”

The man smiled, sharp with amusement. “Quite the opposite, in fact. My name is Jeong Yunho.”

You rubbed your chest. You had felt a zing of something in your heart. What had that been? Heartburn from the neon drink?

“ ‘kay, well Yunho, I’m going to need you to be a hell of a lot less cryptic if you think this is gonna be a thing right now,” you said boldly.

Yunho cocked his head at you curiously. “It’s clear you were brought up amongst them, but you’re going to need to find a way to be less blunt if I bring you back.”

“You know, you may be really hot, but you’re not making a whole lot of sense right now. If you’re selling drugs, I’m not interested.” With that, you walked backward, not giving him the benefit of your back or seeing your ass, if you’re being honest.

The black bindings that ran down his left arm snaked out from his body as he stretched his arm out towards you. They raced along the sticks and leaves on the bare ground and finally wound around your ankles, anchoring you in your spot. 

“Leaving is not an option,” Yunho mused. “I’m afraid I can not let you have that much power over your life right now.”

You should have been scared. You knew that objectively. It wasn’t every day that a man controlling shadows wrapped you up in a forest. But you felt something slowly curling inside your chest as Yunho moved closer to you. You didn’t know exactly what it was, but something in you was telling you that Yunho would never hurt you.

Then the moonlight flashed against Yunho’s eyes, much like when a cat’s eyes reflected light and suddenly everything clicked together. The warnings your mother had told you every day that tied in with never going into the Darkling Forest.

“You’re one of them!” You exclaimed. “One of the Fae.”

“And so are you.”

You scoffed at the statement. “Please, if I was a fairy princess, I--”

“Do you have a habit of winding words and working around the truth, or spinning something into how you would like it to sound?” Yunho cut you off.

You rolled your eyes. “Sure, but--”

“A darkness inside of you assuring you of your survival. A sharp mind that can thirst for blood?” Yunho continued, stepping closer and closer. 

“In my defense, that tree had it coming!”

“If you believe I’m Fae, then you know I can’t lie.”

Your mouth shut audibly. Well, he had you there. “Wouldn’t I know if I was a--”

“A changeling?” Yunho’s eyes glinted with mystery. “Haven’t you always felt like you didn’t belong?”

That one hit a little too close to home. “Why now?”

Yunho’s eyes flitted around to the darkness behind you. “They’re coming for you. We have no King or Queen. They’re worried you’ll claim the throne. They want you dead.”

It was your turn to cock your head curiously. “Then why are you here?”

Yunho pressed his lips together, looking at you, then looking at the ground. “You’re mine.”

“Excuse you?!” You shouted in surprise.

“Don’t you feel it? Our bond? They handfasted us as babies. We’re mates.”

Your hand rubbed your chest with an odd sense of warmth at Yunho’s words. “We’re mates?”

Yunho snatched your free hand. “We have to go.”

That’s how you found yourself currently, running through the dark forest with Yunho. You couldn't lie. It was very thrilling; your heart was beating out of your chest and your legs attempting to keep up with the long-legged man dragging you along. 

Then, something zoomed past your cheek, and you cried out. Yunho halted immediately but steadied you with two hands on your shoulders. Your free hand, not currently entangled with Yunho’s, rose to your cheek and came back red. 

“He’s here,” Yunho said, eyes flitting about behind you. 

“My killer? If I’m a Fae, shouldn’t I have cool powers like you? Let me help. Surely, two against one is bet--”

Yunho clamped a hand against your mouth and pushed you up against a tree. “Quiet. We have to blend into the shadows right now. It’s the only way he won’t find us.”

You watched as the shadows seemed to rise from the ground, encompassing the two of you in a bubble of opaque darkness. 

Who was the one pursuing you? You couldn't ask, of course, due to Yunho’s hand on your mouth. So you stuck your tongue out and ran it up and down his palm. Yunho sucked in some breath hard at your moist tongue, licking him, but he didn’t look down at you. That was annoying.

You dropped your jaw so you could draw some of the skin between your teeth. Yunho’s jaw clenched, but still no eye contact. 

You were about to push your hands onto his chest when a twig snapped in earshot. 

A man with long black hair, a red thread making a braid down one shoulder, and a bandolier criss-crossing his chest. He held two knives between his fingers, flipping them there as he stalked through the forest. Was that your pursuer, because if so, he was really fucking hot.

A low growl emitted from Yunho’s chest. You could feel it because of how close he was, pinning you up against the tree. His eyes were finally on you again, and they were burning with anger. 

You smirked against Yunho’s hand. Was he jealous?

Seconds ticked by as hours, but eventually, Yunho lowered his shadows and his hand on your mouth when the other man rushed off in another direction. 

“Don’t you ever look at another man like you want to fuck him in front of me ever again,” Yunho commanded.

You raised your eyebrows. “Or?”

Yunho’s shadows wrapped around your wrists and pinned them over your head against the tree. “I know you feel the bond. Do not play with me, Changeling.”

“Me? Play with you? But I’m just human raised, aren’t I? What’s that to a Fae grown up in.. the courts, I’m assuming? Do tell me how I’m besting you,” you purred.

This was fun. Maybe being a Changeling wasn’t half bad. 

Yunho’s eyes were getting darker. With what, you had a sneaky suspicion you knew. For within your bond, darkness crept through. Darkness of the way Yunho clearly wanted to possess you. His want seeped through the bond. And you wanted to provoke that. 

“Show me.”

Yunho’s nimble fingers ran along your jaw. “You want to cement this? In the middle of a forest, with a man pursuing to kill you?”

You couldn't help but grin. “Wouldn’t that go to show I’m Fae after all? Yes.”

That was all Yunho needed to flip the switch. His fingers dug into your jaw, holding your face in place, as he slanted his lips against yours. You found yourself kissing him back with equal ferocity, a hunger pushing you to be closer to him. 

Yunho grumbled angrily, fumbling at your unfamiliar clothes. Eventually, he managed to push up your sweater and bra above your boobs and was currently sucking on one nipple while massaging your other breast. 

You let out a low whine when his fingers tickled down your ribs, leaving your breast and moving to wriggle under your pants. Your hips bucked forward, looking for that friction that you were craving. 

Yunho grunted, pulling his hand from your pants.

“Wh-why?” You couldn't help but demand. 

“These offend me. They need to be out of the way.” Yunho slipped his thumbs on either side of your hips and yanked down both your pants and your underwear down to your knees. 

Knelt, his face level with your cunt, he spread your pussy lips and started to hearteningly lick at your clit. He had you mewling with the sensation, making your climax built with his skilled tongue. 

“Please, Yunho,” you moaned. “Put your fingers in me.”

This Fae was beyond frustrating. He left your cunt and stood up. You pouted that you weren’t going to feel those wonderful fingers inside of you. 

“I must claim you,” Yunho murmured under his breath. 

His hands moved to his pants and pulled them down under his balls. Your eyes widened in surprise and delight to see that he was long. Fully hard, he bounced against his stomach, and you licked your lips. The weight of him on your tongue would be wonderful, you thought to yourself. 

Yunho bent to scoop your legs from under your knees, effectively bending you in half, your back still against the tree, and your arms still wrapped in Yunho’s shadows above your head. It made it easy for him to slip along your wet folds to aid in pushing into you.

“Oh fuck,” You moaned loudly as Yunho’s cockhead pushed into your clenching hole.

Yunho slapped his hand over your mouth again. His eyes were hooded and looking down at you as he slid into you fully. “You are…so warm.” His lips pressed together, and he closed his eyes like he was taking in the moment. “So tight.”

You found yourself enjoying the domineering man melting for your pussy. You clenched down on him and elicited a moan from his beautiful lips. “Fuck me, Yunho,” You whispered. 

His eyes snapped open, dark and glittering. “It would be my pleasure.”

The tall, Fae man jackhammered into you, hips moving at a speed that was sure to split you apart. You made muffled noises of pleasure against Yunho’s hand. 

And when you sneakily licked his palm again, he pulled his hand away, if only to push his fingers into your mouth. The pads of his tongue pressed firmly down on your tongue, effectively silencing you in a different way. 

Yunho’s other hand pressed down on your stomach, and you found your bonded mate smiling at the bulge there. You only moaned again, sucking down eagerly on his fingers. The same hand pressed against your abdomen moved lower until his thumb began thrum against your clit. 

In no time, you were seeing stars. You screamed with Yunho’s fingers in your mouth. It was that good. Your heart felt so full, so complete. A string of gold showed that both your hearts were connected now, permanently with this action done in the Darkling Forest. 

Yunho pulled out and jerked himself off. He bent your body sideways and sent strings of come onto your bare stomach. He cried out with his orgasm, those pretty fingers of his making himself feel good. Yunho coming was a feast for the senses. 

“I’m…I come from…” Yunho panted as he came down from his climax. “My family is fertile. I can’t afford to come inside of you. I don’t want to share with you anyone.”

You grinned, still bent in half. “You do love me!”

Yunho’s ears turned pink at your claim. His eyes wouldn’t meet yours as he let go of your legs and released your wrists. “I…”

You patted Yunho’s cheek fondly. “That’s okay, if I’m a Fae, I’m sure we’ve got plenty of time for you to admit this to me. Now, are you going to tell me the name of the man trying to kill me?”

Yunho’s eyes darkened and giggled. This immortal life was about to become really fun.

[jaylienpotter]

Conceited

Jegulus one-shot

Warning: Lily Evans bashing (kinda)

"Why don't you give me a chance? Even to be friends?!"

Regulus turned around and walked towards the source of the noise. He knew that voice very well.

"I hate you, Potter!"

Seemed like Black's crush was getting rejected again. Part of him was sad for his brother's best friend, another, more selfish side of him, was relieved.

"Why?! What did I ever do to you? I know I was a prick to Snape sometimes-"

"You're a bully!"

"I'm not a bully! Snape isn't stupid, nor weak, nor innocent. He does the exact same thing we did to him! He's not a victim." He wasn't wrong, to be a bully meant it was one-sided. Snape and Potter were more like mortal enemies.

"Even then, you're still a rich, obnoxious, arrogant, selfish prat who doesn't shut up about himself! You're so bloody conceited!"

That hit. He could see the hurt in those dark brown eyes. People didn't know the effort the tanned skinned boy put into helping others, making sure everyone is happy, included, safe. He could have all eyes on him yet no one noticed. Except Reg. He noticed James.

"That's not true." The pair turned to him in surprise, pale hands becoming fidgety with the sudden notion of being watched. He kind of regretted speaking up.

"James doesn't talk about himself. Yes, he's sometimes a bit obnoxious and loud, and he does talk a lot but it's never centered around himself. You're getting confused with my brother, Evans."

"Oh, please. Those two are the same. You're not in Gryffindor, you don't hear them all the time." Right, but he did hear from the boy in private. In their late night talks that started after Sirius ran away. Because James didn't want Reg to feel alone. He noticed. He cared. He helped.

"What does he say then? About himself. Not about his friends. Or the stupid pranks they all pull." He dragged the word 'all', making it a point that it didn't count.

"Do you know his favourite colour? Favourite animal? Favourite classes and professors? His grades? How many people he's dated? Anything about his home life? His life goals and dreams?" It was too late to back out, the rant had begun, and you bet Blacks finish what they start.

"Because I don't think so. He might talk a shit lot, but it's about his group plans, his friends, making jokes, making others laugh when feeling like shit as so many do nowadays," himself included. "It takes a lot to get him to talk about himself as an individual, actually. You would know if you gave him a chance. But for someone so against judgemental people, you really do focus on his appearance." Green eyes wide, pink lips shut tight. Regulus contained his smirk.

"He's a good person. A great friend. Selfless and caring despite being from an old pureblood family. And he fights for what he thinks is right. He fights for others. With his big personality comes a big heart. So if you don't make space for the love he has to offer just because you think you don't believe he has it in him, he's not the conceited one." Red hair nearly flew with Lily's stormed exit. She hadn't liked their interaction in the slightest. It was better that way. She wasn't deserving.

Piercing dark eyes were burning a whole through black curls. Reg avoided James's gaze, afraid of what he'd say. He only faced him when he felt the boy closer, and he could swear Potter's eyes were sparkling.

"You meant that...?"

"Of course. You care so much about everyone else that you forget yourself. You couldn't tell me what you wanted to do in the future because it would depend on what your friends decided to do with their lives. You're the most selfless person I know, and if she thinks otherwise, she doesn't deserve your love or friendship."

Silence. He really wanted the older boy to say something, but he just stared, lips slightly parted. Icy blue eyes looked away, shoulders tensing from the attention.

Warm strong arms surrounded his small figure, nearly making him halt. But Potter's sweet, intoxicating smell had him relax and melt in his arms, wrapping his much slimmer ones around his tanned waist.

"Thanks, Reggie." His heart skipped a beat at the nickname and he hoped James didn't feel it against his own chest. He was also thankful to have his face covered, absolutely certain that his white cheeks had turned fully pink.

[quinloki]

Sooo imagine reader/ y/n escapes, they get to an island for a couple months evade capture but then marinford happens and the wb pirates are disbanded/scatters or doin there own thing but one of them end up on the same island as y/n with the obsession still intact and finding them again has rekindled it even more.

How would they react on when they're alone without the other's input?would they contact each other and group up? what would be going through their heads?

(yan au where everyone survives except wb)

💧-anon

(feel free to completely ignore my ramblings but i have so many things i think ab and need to tell/ask ❤️)

I feel how someone would react would depend on the crew member. I'm not going to hit up everyone, just my usual suspects, so bear with me.

CW: Yandere, dub con / non con vibes, nothing explicit a lot of what ifs and summaries.

Marco would not contact anyone else. I love this man, but Yandere Marco is POSSESSIVE. He shares you with his brothers only because they are his brothers. If no one else ended up on this island with you and him then that's a them problem, and not HIS problem.

Depending on the manner of your escape would depend how Marco was, but regardless of if he thinks you left or were stolen away, he'll be delighted to have you back. You'll never leave his sight again, and if you do have to be away from him for any reason he'll make sure he knows where you are.

You will drown in him, whether its his love or his anger, but he will mark you, fill you up, and leave you exhausted and delirious more than not.

Ace would contact the others. He'd be so relieved to see you safe, and whether anyone else thought you left, he'd be convinced it had to be against your will. He'll be seeking reassurance to that end, and if you're smart you're going to give it to him. Shore up your story if you need it with Ace's help, because the other will be far harder to convince, even if what you're telling is the truth.

Whatever happens, and however things play out though, you'll always run into Ace. He'll pop out of the ground like a fucking daisy sometimes, scaring the hell out of you even though that wasn't his intent. But playful or endearing, don't think for a second it's accidental.

If you don't reassure him, if you do tell him you left because you wanted to, his reaction will be worse. He'll claim you as his and you'll probably have burn scars by the time the others arrive. It'll take Marco weeks to get you back into some sort of semblance of who you were - assuming he can even soothe the scars.

Thatch will let you set the narrative, and hell he'll even let you decide if he reaches out to anyone else or not. If you want to elope with just him, he'd be more than happy to oblige. He doesn't mind sharing with his brothers, but he won't deny such a heart felt confession and plea from you either.

He's likely to do to you what Marco would, making love to you until you're a pile of mush, exhausted and almost out of your mind. His stamina far exceeds your own, and he has months of catching up to do, he's missed you so much. And don't worry, he'll feed you and make sure you're hydrated, even clean your home, and earn money, you'll be too tired to worry about any of that anyway.

With Izou in the mix the rope burns on your joints are apt to become permanent. It doesn't matter if you say you didn't want to leave, you'll never be able to be taken away so easily ever again. He'll let the others know about you, and your fate will probably be decided by committee.

You will be under the influence of something when you're questioned, so unless you're really good at lying that's not going to be an option here. You're likely to survive your punishment, for better or worse, but whatever island you end up on with everyone (whoever constitutes everyone), the islanders are going to understand your position in the crew. Or misunderstand it.

but the only friends you'll have will be the brothers that take care of you. You'll want for nothing, save maybe freedom.

[sephirthoughts]

for char/hc ask game. providing a couple options, feel free to just pick your favorite!

Vincent Valentine - 8, 16

Nero the Sable - 18, 21

yayyy thank you for the ask, i love doing these!! i pick all of them they're all my favorite

Vincent Valentine

-8- smell/personal scent:

i have very specific and detailed headcanons about the way that Vincent smells (gasp). i don't think we have reason to believe he sweats or produces much personal body odor, since he's an indestructible undead shapeshifting monster —however— his hair grows. so maybe some of his body functions are normal. who knows. also, his training as a turk likely taught him some scent masking, so he might not have any particular smell, but that was a long time ago and he really has no reason to practice that now. anyway i like to think he does have a distinctive personal scent

Mahogany. This just plain has to be an element of his scent profile. He spent decades sleeping in a coffin, of which one of the most common materials is mahogany. Also, the coffin Vincent uses in the Shinra Manor basement just looks like mahogany. Mahogany has a deep, woodsy, slightly spicy scent. Kind of perfect for Vincent.

Leather: He is covered head to toe in armor constructed of several different kinds of leathers there is no way he doesn't smell like it. That also happens to be a very sexy scent, so good job Vincent.

Old books: He's been holed up in the Shinra basement for decades, and there is a lot of evidence he's been actually living down there, not just comatose in the coffin. There is literally nothing else but a huge library, packed with old books. Don't tell me he hasn't wandered in there and whiled away countless hours reading them.

Pipe tobacco: Unexplained. We have never seen him smoke a pipe but no one can prove he doesn't. Also before you say yuck, pipe tobacco is an ENTIRELY different scent from cigarettes and even cigars. it's very aromatic and mellow and sweet. A highly attractive masculine scent.

Petrichor: He lives in a basement full of wet rocks.

Blood: Dependent upon how recently he's been in battle.

Gunpowder: Same as above.

Bourbon and cigarette smoke: Dependent on whether or not he's been hanging around with Cid.

Conclusion: Vincent possesses the sexiest personal scent imaginable.

Vincent's coffin for reference

-16- home/place that they live:

You're never going to believe this, I have a bunch of headcanons about this, too.

We all know about the Shinra Manor basement, but he wasn't born there and stops living there when he gets picked up by Cloud's crew. In Dirge of Cerberus, we see him in a room, in Kalm, that looks very lived in (bottles of wine, etc.), so it's clear he's staying there. I prefer to think this is some sort of inn or extended stay situation. Vincent doesn't actually strike me as the kind of person who maintains a fixed abode, long-term. if he had someone important enough to him, however, he'd be perfectly happy to make a home with that person/people. It's just not something he seeks out for himself

Now, hear me out, I HC that Vincent's vampirey habits and aesthetic have nothing to do with him having become a monster. He already had pale skin and red eyes, before he was undead—he just looks like that. Lucrecia even mentions how much he resembles his father GRIMOIRE who also dressed and looked just like a vampire, for no explainable reason except that he wants to and no one can stop him. I believe this is just the Valentine family aesthetic. They're weird people. Vincent only wore a suit in the Turks because that was required dress code. Red capes, pointy armor and black leather are his comfy clothes. What does this have to do with home/place of residence? The Valentine family home. I very strongly HC the Valentine family as being from Old Money. Like, the old-world, 1200 years of ancestors buried in catacombs on the premises, kind of Old Money. And by premises, I mean the sprawling grounds of the massive, gothic-horror style mansion that is the Valentine ancestral castle. Do I think Vincent lives there currently? Almost certainly not, and he probably avoids visiting, too, because of painful memories. If one knows anything about the way hereditary lands and estates (in Europe) traditionally work, though, they are a business unto themselves, and such a property would have many dedicated caretakers and staff, usually offer tours of the property as a historical site, and generate its own income, without much interference from the owners. Thus the Valentine family home, huge and dark and creepy and amazing and perfect as it is, would be respectfully maintained by the loyal staff, in the event that the Valentine heir shows up any time and wants to skulk around like Dracula frightening away tourists. This is very likely the reason Vincent chose a coffin in a creepy basement for his self imposed exile, and also why he really seems to like the haunted hotel. It's just like home!

the Valentine family castle probably

Onward!

Nero the Sable

-18- beloved or important items or property:

This is a tough one, because Nero was born and raised in Deepground, and likely had very few pieces of personal property. He probably learned very early to never become attached to things, because they could and would be taken away at the whims of the people in charge. However, he keeps one thing that is deeply important to him, and if anyone dared to touch it they'd never even know how they died.

This precious item is a picture Weiss drew of them together, on the back of a pilfered prescription slip from the medical ward, when Weiss was eight and Nero was six. They weren't allowed art supplies or other such frivolous items as children, so that's the closest they got. the lines are wobbly and childish and the heads are a bit wonky and out of proportion, but to Nero, it is the greatest work of art the world has ever produced. He treasures this above all things and always has it with him, tucked safely away in a little pocket of darkness.

-21- fears:

Nero is a scary motherfucker. He commands people-eating darkness tentacles, he can suck out your soul and make your corpse into a puppet to fight for him, and he has huge metal wings with knives on the ends. Nero hates human beings for their cruelty and cares for nothing but his brother, who he calls the only person who loves him and the only one he'll ever love, so it stands to reason that his greatest fear would be losing him or harm coming to him. This is evidenced by...literally every word out of his mouth. I think that deep down, Nero fears being alone. Not that he likes being around people (he literally hates it) it's that there is a bone-deep sense of loss and emptiness in him, that he was born with and he can never seem to escape, and when his darkness voraciously consumes souls, it's an unconscious to attempt to fill that emptiness. But when he's with his brother, the emptiness goes away. They seem to share a psychic bond, too, so even when they're not physically in the same location, the two are 'together'. The only way Nero could truly be alone would be if Weiss were to be taken from him. So it's no wonder he mobilized all of Deepground to try and revive him, when he was in that deathlike state. Only to be betrayed by Hojo of course, who tricked him by saying he could revive Weiss because he wanted to steal Weiss' body. Hojo you stupid bastard I just got fuckin mad at you all over again.

Here's a picture of Weiss smiling probably about something evil to cheer us back up.

[lovejosephquinn]

I woke up with an idea with sudden inspiration for a new mini series. (I love when that happens.) Depending on what you all think, there will be a part 2 and I'm excited to see how this turns out. This part is purely to set the scene.

Summary: You're marrying a man for an easy life, yet you're so in love with your best friend it hurts. What would happen if everything changed drastically between the two of you before you were due to be wed?

Under 18's DNI. Warnings: Angst, slow burning frustration, friends to nothing or friends to lovers? Word Count: 2.5k

Part 1 ✨ Part 2 ✨Part 3 ✨Part 4 ✨ Part 5

The preparations were complete, you were set to marry a man that you weren't sure that you loved yet just accepted it based on the fact that your parents approved and everything was taken care of, all for an easy life, you went along with it. The start was great, but the more you thought about it; was he really the one? He was a man that was from a well off family, someone who would provide and look after you for the rest of your life, but is forever long enough to be with someone when you're not as happy as you could be?

There was always a burning thought in the back of your head of what if? You'd always loved your best friend, since a very young age, but it was always the wrong time to get into what felt such a crime. You'd always admired one another from the side lines, your friendship meaning way too much for your own liking to ever do anything about it. Prom night was the only exception.

You spent a night together, losing your virginity to each other after the consumption of alcohol at the after party, it was awkward yet beautiful, a moment shared and a moment cherished. You'd never spoke of it again after that, both of you too shy to admit that there was something there that had clear been around for quite some time, burning and eager to get out of your systems, so you went about your teenage lives, getting into other relationships, supporting each other when times got tough, doing the general best friend thing and being around when the other needed it most.

Entering your twenties was a crucial stage and the jealousy became worse every time you had to witness him with somebody else, but you still remained quiet, as close to him as you were you always longed for more but it just seemed like it was never to be.

Then you met the man you were with today, a brief meeting at a family event where several people attended including a lot of friends of the family which extended into hundreds of people being at the venue. You were happy at first, or so you thought but it always came back down to your best friend and every waking moment you spent with your new beau, the more you'd wish that he was him. Nobody had ever been good enough and that was the mistake you'd made all along.

The moment you realised that your best friend loved you just as much right back was your 29th birthday party, your boyfriend proposed to you that night in front of the entire crowd, up on a large stage with a beautiful serenading quartet and a large screen filled with images of the two of you over the last couple of years, you'd turned around to see your now fiancé down on one knee.

The pressure forced you to say yes, but when you looked back into crowd of people, all eyes were on you but you noticed one particularly pair of burning, crushed retinas. Joe. Your best friend for almost all of your life was the one stood there with a pressed line to his lips, you could almost see the single tear that dropped from his bottom lid, he took a deep sigh, parted lips and enforced a fake smile of his own to try and be happy for you. He of course joined in the applause but with a sense of laziness from the broken heart that had now smashed to smithereens to see you betrothed to another.

Time stood still, the ring slipped onto your wedding finger but your gaze still fell upon that of your best friends, you took a large gulp and your sights matched upon the one he was still indistinctively pulling. You should've been happy, you should've been jumping for joy that you were engaged to the person you'd been with for the last two and a half years, but better still it just wasn't the one you'd hoped for.

The speed of sound caught back up with you, up roars of cheers found you looking over to your parents who were hugging in utter joy for the announcement that their daughter was to be married, but they just didn't understand, purely because they didn't know how you truly felt. But would they ever understand? Your mum was married to your dad for exactly the same reason, but she accepted it and over time she fell in love, she'd never admitted that to you personally, but you'd read her diaries from a long time ago that you'd found as a kid so you were well aware of the situation.

Truth be told you were hoping that getting over Joe in time would work and it'd slowly fade away. You were crazy to believe such a thing because that would of happened years ago if it were supposed to, turning back to your now fiancé was the hardest thing you'd ever had to do, kissing him, showing the party that you were elated to be in such a position; yet you were so repulsed you almost showed it.

Every flashback remained of Joe, every time you'd hugged, every time you'd shared yours or his bed in an innocent way, every time he'd made you laugh and the one time you'd had sex, it was sloppy but the kissing was something out of a fairy tale, it was saved in your padlocked memory and to your upset that's where it would remain and wouldn't ever become a reality again.

You'd mingled with every other person, being smothered by such congratulations that it almost hurt to breathe, you needed to get out for a second, give yourself some you time, be by yourself and allow your thoughts to rekindle themselves before you went back into that hell hole again. You breathed in the winter air, tilting your head toward the night sky, reaching back into your bag and pulling out a cigarette and putting it to your lips, ruffling to find your lighter, stressed and uttering profanities under your breath because you couldn't find it. A voice interrupted you suddenly making you turn around in a startle.

"Need a light?" Joe.

"Lifesaver." You let out an almost desperate smile, glad for the lighter Joe hovered in front of your vision, but secretly excited to have him close to you, alone and without any other creeping eyes.

He lit your cigarette and pulled out one of his own to join you, you walked over to the set of swings of a little playground situated next to the hall and he followed you like a lost sheep, you were glad he'd taken the silent hint to stick around.

You leaned your cheek against the ice touch of the chains of the swing set, closing your eyes as you took a drag of your cigarette, releasing the smoke out of your nose, breaking the silence you heard the crushing words of congratulations come out of the mouth you didn't entirely want to hear.

"So you're engaged now, congratulations are in order I guess princess." You pushed the swing to the side to nudge his arm, not even taking a second glance as you both stared to the ground.

"Thanks love." You swallowed your regret.

Joe had always called you princess, since you were from an entirely wealthy family yourself, he meant it as you were royalty, the untouchable as he'd relayed to you a few times throughout your friendship, something that both pulled at your heart strings and also made you want to punch his lights out. You'd had no choice but to accept the nickname because he'd refused to not call you anything but. Surely it couldn't have had a deeper meaning, especially now you had the incline that he felt the exact way you did. Joe was an exceptional actor so he could've been putting on the whole façade, yet he was letting this one slip quite badly.

"Everything's changing fast, I don't like it." Joe let out without even a thought.

"What do you mean?" You finally looked over to your best friend, anxious on his delayed response. You watched him throw the last of his cigarette, palms slapped to rub together, trying to work out what his emotions were actually to mean, the whole switch of mood was hard to figure out.

"My best girl's engaged, it's all worked out for you. I'm so happy about that, but I can't help to feel like somethings missing." A hitch of his throat saw you almost ready to vomit the words back out of your mouth, he loved you, like really loved you, you were sure. Then why were you so dumb founded towards it for all this time, why was it so subtly obvious now?

"Quit swerving around the real answer Quinn, tell me." You felt like getting serious was the only thing you had left. Honesty was all you needed and then you could make a decision.

"That's the real answer, somethings missing." He said lowly.

"But what's missing?" You furrowed your brow.

"Your true happiness. I saw the way you looked over at me." Was this supposed to be a joke? A role reversal to the way Joe had actually looked at you the second your fiancé got down onto one knee.

"You mean the way you looked at me?" That made Joe instantly swerve to glance at you, his eyes burning something dark, something yearning inside of the chocolatey gaze which screamed that he felt upset by the entire ordeal.

"Yeah, like that." You folded your arms, your blood beginning to boil, no room to simmer. Why couldn't he just speak the truth? It would make it so much easier for you to then break your walls down to your own feelings and shout them out loud and clear for him to hear.

"Don't know what you're talking about princess." There it was, the whole performance about to begin, his acting senses creeping out of him, keeping in the reality and bringing out the fictional.

"Stop calling me that." You raised your voice, your whole head was full and you were screaming inside, you just wanted to shake your best friend, make him say it, force him, but you knew you couldn't and that's what hurt so bad, for if you were wrong about everything then you'd look quite the idiot.

"I'm sorry, I just don't know if I can be a part of this, a part of something I don't support."

"A part of what, my life?" You'd totally done it, you'd thrown the baton back at him, you weren't being verbally abused, you weren't willing to be crushed through your regret of agreeing to marry someone that you weren't sure about.

"Not your life, your life with him, I can't be around to see you unhappy." He knew you too well that was all well and good, but you were seething to see what he was saying was true, maybe him not being around would help you out in your journey to get over Joe, but you knew deep down you weren't willing to even entertain the thought.

"I'm happy."

"Fuck right off." His own voice raised right back.

"Fine I will." You huffed a violent sigh. Getting up off of the swing, all ready to walk away from the situation when you were pulled back by the freezing touch of bare skin, Joe's hand gripped to yours like his life depended on it. It's like the world stopped right there, the touch confirmed it all. Your lips parted together, you were caged between his legs to where he'd dragged you back, almost stumbling but saved by his stiffened body, now your hand captured in the palm of his, you'd not felt this close to the one person you truly felt for in such a long time.

"I didn't mean it literally."

"Then what did you mean Joe?" You licked your dry lips and Joe stared at the way your tongue moved in slow motion, you'd be blind not to have noticed the way his eyes lingered for a second.

"Don't lose yourself to him is all I'm saying." Where's the god damn love confession? You'd heard just about enough for one night.

"We done here?" You closed your mouth and gritted your teeth.

"Congratulations again and uh, happy birthday." Joe stood up, tall yet slumped in front of you, with a stroke of the back of your hand from his thumb, he let go and walked towards the exit of the venue, over the hill and to the car park to leave.

You called out his name so clearly, but he didn't turn back around he just disappeared from the lighting and into the darkness of the night. This whole loving your best friend was so fucked and now you were in the worst situation of all, swallowed into a world of your own loneliness, lost without Joe by your side once again. You were damned if you did and damned if you didn't run after him, but you couldn't. The ring on your finger, a sacred anchor that weighed you down and just wouldn't allow it.

Slumping back onto the swing Joe sat on previously, your tears flowed out softly, was there something you could've said that would of allowed the truth to come out? Or was it destined to be kept in for the rest of your life. You felt worthless on what was supposed to be the best night of your life so far. There's a saying of time heals all wounds, but this was one that would just scar, remain and kill you slowly if something wasn't done about it.

[grievedeeply]

I need some cuddling hcs for heimdall pleaseeee!

(Love ur writing btw) ❤️

thanks for the request and the kind words :") it really does mean a lot to hear. i hope you enjoy these even though it's a bit short! i didn't want to get too repetitive lol

gn!reader | no tws | join my taglist!!

cuddling with heimdall headcanons

he doesn't think he's one for physical affection. and he isn't, at least until you come along, anyway

he won't initiate it. he gets embarrassed when he asks for you to touch him in even the sweetest ways, but you can just tell when he wants you to hold him

he'll have this really gentle look in his eyes whenever he sees you, a pout on his lips that he doesn't even realize is there. it's a very endearing sight

when you actually get to cuddling, he really loves it. he never minds the position or how you may be laying, either. it's not a big deal to him

the only thing that really matters is that he gets to feel you. your touch is the only thing in all the nine realms that can get him to calm down

despite his tough exterior, he's actually a really fragile person. words don't really get to him, but he can admit that some days can be harder than others. he does have a tough job, even for someone of his caliber

on this particularly rough days, you'll see him walk through the door and you'll hold your arms out to him. he walks towards you without a second thought, and finds himself in your loving arms

you'll lay down together, his head resting on your chest as you mindlessly play with his hair. sometimes, he'll talk about what bothered him or made his day go so badly. on other occasions, he'll stay silent— preferring the comfort of your touch over any explanation of his

his mind practically turns off whenever you touch him, anyways. as i mentioned before, you calm him down better than anything else

he's more than happy to comfort you through cuddling, too. he can read you easily and knows whenever you're needing it, and on those days— and those days only— he'll initiate something with you

it always starts with a really long hug, his chin on top of your head if you're short enough, or his face in the crook of your neck

he'll kiss your forehead, or whatever he can reach, as a way to comfort you

he acts like an asshole to literally everyone else except for you, so cuddling always has to be in private. it's not that he's ashamed of you— he shows you off at any given opportunity— but he thinks it should be private

cuddling is something really intimate in his eyes, and he wants to keep it behind closed doors. it helps you remember that he really does love you :")

he'll come home after a long day and you'd be waiting for him, ready to cuddle him to your heart's content and he would never complain

cuddling happens more often the longer you're together, and it starts through plenty of things. sometimes, you'll just want to hold him, and he won't care

point is, there comes a moment in your relationship where both of you realize that you don't have to be sad or frustrated with someone or something to cuddle

he finds himself yearning for it, sometimes. he'll be on top of the wall, patrolling as he usually does, and feel the ghost of your arms around his neck or waist

he's always kissing you when cuddling. depending on how you're sitting or laying, it's your forehead or your neck, sometimes even your jaw

he leaves marks, sometimes. he won't realize it until it's too late, but he doesn't care unless you do. he gets so lost in his own thoughts, and just doesn't stop kissing at whatever he can reach

laying on his chest, kissing at his jawline... it's one of his favorite feelings in the world. it gives him butterflies. there was a time in his life where he would've hated admitting that

resting your head on his chest.. hearing his heartbeat... reminding you that he's really yours

and he is. that'll never change

tags: @graciegizmo3184 @anzanishira @uncoveredsun @caelestis-lyrae @prio-motu @bluehorizon987 @freyrees @ieatmarbles @rohansregret @konigd1cks0ck @smilesdarling @multifand0m-gal0re @huan-chan @rustypotatospork @onlydeas @luna-charlie @orangeflavouredwitch @hayleethefrog @dott-up @imcomingforyourskin @itsnat-bitch @mimothemoth @elizabeth-hatake @fandomcatchall @ss-kimo @sinfulmatt @lacm-ac @iinterdimensionals @thatspookyagent @kiss-kae @twiistedspades @closet-creature @shawtylikamelody @judyfromfinance @hobistangerine @aikochan4859 @whywouldiknowstuff @xoxoliyahhxoxo @lil-anxty @black-star1472 @trippingoverstars @aiciteaa @piscesroses @0-kheiron-0 @beezlebubslut @fennsinhumanity | if you're not tagged and filled out the form, tumblr will not let me tag you. sorry :( your name might be misspelt, so let me know if that's the case privately!

[council-of-beetroot]

Ask game if you're still doing it? Secret & torture for Tolys & Ivan :)

Of course anon!

Not nice character asks

torture: Has your OC ever been tortured? Would your OC ever torture someone else?

Ivan: Ivan has been tortured he's endured mistreatment. He is shown to fear punishment from his bosses.

I guarantee he's been made to torture others and he has tortured others because he views it simply a part of enforcing the status quo. Imperial Russia in particular was all about corporal punishment as I have learned so it makes sense that Ivan would view it as normal.

Tolys: Tolys has been tortured, I guarantee he has participated in torture because the crusades for example, were brutal. I think he has been forced to torture or punish people and I think it affects him severely since it goes against his need to protect people.

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

I think it really depends on the time period but I think for Tolys at certain points was very secretive about the abuse he suffered under Ivan and their relationship and the full extent of that the good and bad. There is so much shame, guilt, powerlessness wrapped within. I think he blames himself for the fact he was ever in the position to be abused, like it's a failure on his part. Luckily though he is sort of forced to realize he has people in his life that support him and don't view him as weak or deserving of the mistreatment he endured. With time he is able to open up when he begins to feel once again he is worthy of being happy and receiving kindness.

Ivan doesn't necessarily lie he just uses the truth like a dagger dipped in poison. I believe doesn't really confide in many people except for Tolys so I think that's where they grow closer is that he trusts Tolys and he can freely admit his own secrets and things he would not tell another soul but Tolys.

Sorry for turning this into a Rusliet deep dive 🤣

[littlepadika]

What about daddy joel taking care of a sick little? Fever, chills and everything. When I'm sick I get very clingy. The idea of being wrapped in his arms or having him stroke my hair or face while I'm laying in bed just sounds divine

gif credit @a7estrellas

omgggg hear me out i think Joel would be very stressed out. if you were sick Like I love him and he's a good daddy but i think you being sick even with a little cold would trigger bad memories. I'm taking this in an angsty direction but ends happy ♥️ i wuv u joely pwomise :)

Warnings: DDLG, fem little, sick little, angst

He tries to stop it getting worse by giving you vitamin c and lots of fluids but the next day you're croaky and feverish. He's smothering you with blankets in his bed and holding you against his warm body. He spoon feeds you honey for your throat, broth, and places a cool compress over your forehead. He listens for every one of your breaths and overanalyzes every little temperature change. He'd have to head into town for medicine if your fever didn't break soon but he hated leaving you alone.

"Stay with me, petal. Stay with me." He's muttering into your hair.

"I am daddy." You hold him tightly not really sure what else to say as he kept muttering things under his breath.

"You'll be okay. We'll be okay. I won't let anything happen to you."

You try to sleep but you can feel Joel's stress radiating off him.

"Daddy's so sorry for lettin' this happen to you." He hung his head, pinching his brow together. That made you worried. Doesn't he know you never had to be scared with him taking care of you?

"Not daddy's fault." You stick up for him, though you're not able to give a good reason because your head feels foggy. He doesn't say anything, just strokes your head and checks your temperature with the back of his hand.

"Daddy?" you peer up at him, scanning his worried face. "I's gonna be okay." You say simply trying to put him at ease.

"Hm?" He frowns, not understanding.

"I's gonna be okay p'cause you're taking care of me." You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"P-petal..." He blinks back sudden tears. Because you depended and he felt like he failed to protect you by letting you get sick. He didn't know how it happened. He couldn't bare to lose someone else especially when your faith in him, shinning through despite the fog of your cold, reminded him that this time was different.

"Daddy cry?" You sniffle, lifting a hand up to touch his cheek.

"Yes, petal." Joel doesn't deny it. "You know i love you so much, right?" He says feeling the urge to remind you again.

"Mhm." You rub your chin against his sternum.

He turns to get your sippy cup from the bedside table, allowing him to try and compose himself. "Here, drink."

"Don't wanna." You complain, not liking the feeling going down your sore throat.

"I know." Joel softens, taking a deep breath. "But like you said- daddy is takin' care of you. Please take a drink... for daddy?"

"kay..." You relent, taking a nice big gulp.

"good girl, petal." Joel kisses your forehead. "I love you somethin' mighty, you know that right?"

"Mhm." Your eyes are drooping shut now.

"I got you, baby girl. I got you." He says this more to himself, allowing his muscles to relax. "Drift off to sleep, pretty girl."

"You s'eep too daddy." You hum, closing your eyes. "wuv u too..."

There was nothing he could do right now except be here for you and hold you and he had no problem with that. In the morning the fever had broken and the worst had past. Except for the next few days Joel insisted you stay in bed until the croak in your voice went away and he was right in bed with you. You thought it made you sound more cute because he caved and gave you whatever you wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

daddy masterlist

@lafresamilk @mamacitapascal @prettypedros, @marstheplanet @takochansugoi  @oceanablue @iwishtobeastorm @dincrypt, @bac-1, @spacenerdpascal, @cranberrypills @punkerthanpascal @breezythesimp  @djarinsimp @mylittlesenaar @bbybunbun @phnyx @xwalltoast @dreadwolfxoxo @xwalltoast @mswarriorbabe80 @bearcina @lokigirlszendaya @pedroslilbitch @star-wars-fan-2005  @din-jarhead @hillgoth @m4ngoj3lly @crabbae @im-a-mcsimp-for-mchotties @girlofchaos @joelsflannel @xoxabs88xox @nicolethered @sergeant-major-ghost @pretty-girl-likes-tea @alexxavicry @harriedandharassed

[raylangivins]

twenty questions for fic writers

thank you @acorrespondence for tagging me in this! i love shiteing on about writing :)

How many works do you have on ao3?

33, which shocks me because for some reason in my head the number's permanently at, like, 8.

What's your total ao3 word count?

195,093

What fandoms do you write for?

I mean currently it's beatles rpf 🌝. But also Check Please (specifically jackparse, I have absolutely no interest in anything else), Wolf 359, The Social Network, Community (although none of these are an ao3 due to I wrote them when I was 15), and some random one hit wonders.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

live through this, and you won't look back - Jack/Kent, Check Please

if being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side - Kepler/Jacobi, Wolf 359

baby, it's all relative - John/Paul, Beatles

Time May Change Me - Mark/Eduardo, The Social Network

Five Men Roy Ruined For Jen - Jen/Roy, The IT Crowd

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always, unless I forget!! I don't know why I wouldn't like, if people are reading I am genuinely excited and grateful for that. Why wouldn't I tell them? (I'm very bad at thinking of things to say which aren't just "I'm glad you enjoyed it", but I try).

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think lately you've been feeling so good i forget my future (in which jack and kent go to prom) is pretty grim not even because the ending itself is the worst but also it foreshadows so much worse to come. Most of my jackparse fic is them as teenagers because I love that "the worst is yet to come" doom that constantly hangs over them in those years. Also one and one and one is three (in which john/paul/yoko have an emotionally fraught threesome). I hurt my own feelings writing that one lol.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not one of the recent ones, I can tell you that! Although it depends if you mean fluffy or happy by my own metric because EYE think the best happy endings are the ones you have to work through some angst to get. So if you're looking for fluffy, probably Five Men Roy Ruined for Jen; if you're looking for a journey that ends in happiness, then I'd say wouldn't it be? nice makes me feel euphoric at the end.

Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple bitchy comments but generally no.

Do you write smut?

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've only written one and it's where Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Rec becomes the Eleventh Doctor's companion in Doctor Who. It's cute, I still like it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not. Although, I did have someone once finish a fic I abandoned on ff.net without really asking me first, which I thought was both flattering and hilarious of them. So true, babe. Write the finished fic you wish to see in the world!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think someone translated one of my old Gossip Girl fics on ff.net, also. I can't remember what language it was though.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'm not opposed to it.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

All my fave ships are pretty much variations on the same dynamic with a few exceptions. It's comical how consistant I am about this without even trying.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Tbh I never truly rule anything out. There's a post-canon Justified fic that has lived in my head for years, that I mostly haven't written because it's a lot of work, and I don't really care about sharing it that much it's mostly just for me. There's a Dawson's Creek Pacey genderswap fic I dream of writing, but likely will never bother. There's a beatles fic where Paul can talk to instruments that I actually wrote 20k for but it's so dogshit I can't bear to try to fix it so it's going to just sit on my computer forever probably.

What are your writing strengths?

I hate this question, I'm so bad at identifying these things. Vibes? I think I'm good at dialogue but that's mostly because that's what I start with, so it's like the bones of most of my fics. I've been told I'm good at like being thoughtful to all the different characters in fic even if it's not about them or their POV, which is always a nice thing to hear.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Physical descriptions probably. I don't care about them very much and therefore I don't put as much effort into them as I probably should. Also, I write chronologically so most of my endings are slightly lazier than the rest of the fic.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't know. I've never tried it. As a bilingual person, seeing people who are not bilingual completely miss the nuances of that is actually really irritating. Especially as someone who speaks Portuguese but grew up in an English speaking country, reading TSN fic was so specifically annoying. And don't even get me started on the concept of "untranslateable" words and "saudade".

It can be done well, but often isn't. Also, if you give me a bunch of text in a language I don't know, my brain is just gonna skip over it, so it's often redundant when it's more than, like, a sentence.

First fandom you wrote for?

First fic I published was for Gossip Girl, but when I was like 11 I wrote what was essentially a Life With Derek canon-divergence fic in a copybook that I showed to a teacher in my school.

Favorite fic you've written?

All of them. But some that have not yet been mentioned on this post:

kissing just for practice - Jack/Kent (idk, I set out to do something specific with this fic and I really felt I did)

i want every other freckle - si-5 ot3 kind of (this fic means so much to me)

tomorrow i'll miss you - mclennon before sunset au (before sunset is one of my favourite movies and i worked really hard on this one)

i thought i knew one, what did i know? - paul's girlfriend catches john and paul together (this one makes me crazy and i'm the one who wrote it lol)

tagging: @softbrah @jeanharlowseyebrows @scurator @wurmzirkus @coyotesuspect @midchelle

[bardicbeetle]

OC Interview Tag

I was tagged by @charlesjosephwrites (like two months ago, i am slow) thank you!

I'm gonna answer these for Vee, of Vee the Vampire/Damask

And much like anything fully character based you're getting answers somewhat as though this is a roleplay blog, because sometimes it's nice to jump back to my roots.

tagging @magnus-sm-writes, @authoralexharvey, @multi-lefaiye and anyone else who wants to snag the questions!

~*~*~*~

Are you named after anyone?

"Not as far as I'm aware. But I don't have many memories left of my life before, so if Callisto came from anyone in particular I no longer know." Vee shakes his head, a slight smile on his face as he continues "And as far as the 'Vee' moniker Cassidy gave me, it was almost definitely her choosing something as a joke she knew would stick."

When was the last time you cried?

A long moment of silence, eyes casting to the ceiling in thought. "I'm not sure I remember. Half a year at least?"

Do you have kids?

"That depends entirely on your definition. If you want to follow the archaic rules, technically I have and have done away with near two hundred of my own blood." a grimace, a pause "But I think the closest you'd get to a child in the sense you likely mean is Cassidy, and even then she's more like a younger sister."

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

"No, I would never." Every word drips with it.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Vee hums, leaning on the bartop as he thinks. "The way they speak, usually. The things they say without words. If the way they carry themself is at odds with whats coming out of their mouth."

What’s your eye color?

"A soft kind of brown, so long as they haven't changed over the years. Admittedly I haven't seen my eyes since I was human. I've been told they go solid black at times," --as if in response, his eyes do briefly flash from brown to solid shiny black-- "though again, I've never actually seen it."

Scary movies or happy endings?

"Happy endings." it's immediate, "The world is heavy, I've had enough stress and suspense on my own--I prefer escapism when I can get it."

Any special talents?

"Again that depends somewhat on your definition. If we're going to ignore the obvious perks of vampirism--I'm an exceptional mixologist, an accomplished vampire hunter, and am at least half decent at a number of other things by sheer virtue of being alive for too long."

Where were you born?

"Locana, a small village in the mountains outside of Turin in northern Italy."

Do you have any pets?

"Not at the moment. I've taken in strays every now and then, but it's just not a good idea to keep animals here, so they typically go home with Evelyn and she finds someone to adopt them permanently."

What sort of sports do you play?

"Absolutely none unless you count hunting--and I really don't."

How tall are you?

"Below what I believe is considered average. I'm 168cm, or about 5'6" on a good day."

What was your favorite subject in school?

"I don't think my education was really standard, but I enjoyed--and still enjoy--any kind of storytelling."

What is your dream job?

"I have it. I spend my evenings talking to people and hearing about the parts of the world I can no longer see from a hundred thousand perspectives. I listen to music when I feel like hiring someone, I invent drinks, I keep the local count of death by exsanguination to a minimum."

Are you named after anyone?

When was the last time you cried?

Do you have kids?

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

What’s your eye color?

Scary movies or happy endings?

Any special talents?

Where were you born?

Do you have any pets?

What sort of sports do you play?

How tall are you?

What was your favorite subject in school?

What is your dream job?

[dragoneyes618]

Do you have any headcanons regarding Luisa and Enrique? Miguel's parents seem really interesting, it's too bad that we don't see much of them in the movie.

Thank you for this! ;) I also like thinking about interesting characters who weren't given much screen time!

Fair warning, though: I've spent a lot of time inundating my brain with Coco posts upon Coco posts upon Coco posts. So I can't always be sure of what headcanons I made up myself and what headcanons I've subconsciously taken from other people's headcanons.

Also, just because these are my headcanons does not necessarily mean that I will stay faithful to them in the fanfictions I write. I'll have different backstories and headcanons and so on depending on the fic. You know how it is. ;)

Anyway!

At this point, I think I've adopted the headcanon from The Gravedigger's Daughter by Fernwithy that there's a significant age gap between Luisa and Enrique, like over 10 years. So when they first met, Enrique was like, "I mean, I like her and everything, but she's kind of young for me, so maybe I should find someone else?" except that up until that point there hadn't been anyone else, so the rest of the family was like "Obviously she likes you! Go for it!"

Meanwhile Luisa kept finding excuses to go to the Rivera zapateria. Her shoe broke, her other shoe broke, she wanted to buy a pair of shoes as a gift for her mother, and so on. Finally Coco (who was in her late eighties at this point, her mind still well and only needed a cane, not yet a wheelchair) took her aside and said "Look, you can't possibly have needed your shoes to be fixed five times in two months. We all know why you're here."

And then they got married and then they had Miguel.

To add some angst, because where would any headcanons be without angst, they wanted to have more children than just Miguel and later Socorro. But Luisa kept miscarrying.

This is why Luisa is shown looking after her twin nephews in the movie, instead of one of their parents being the ones to direct them about the petals. Luisa, after wanting another child for so long, was happy to help her brother- and sister-in-law with their children, and what with dealing with twin toddlers, they welcomed the help.

It got to the point where when Luisa was pregnant with Socorro, she and Enrique didn't tell Miguel until, like, her sixth month. Just in case it ended like all the other ones had.

(Miguel is a twelve-year-old boy with barely any experience of pregnant woman. The only woman he knows well, who he had cause to spend time with when she was pregnant, before his mother that is, is his aunt. Sure, eventually he definitely would have noticed something, but I can see him going "Nah, Tía's stomach was way bigger than that, Mamá's not having a baby," not taking into account that his aunt had been pregnant with twins.)

Luisa and Enrique think Miguel doesn't know about the miscarriages. He's never going to tell them he does.

This is why there's such a big gap between Miguel and Socorro. Everybody was thrilled when Socorro was finally born.

Back to Enrique.

Out of all of his family, Enrique is the one who looks like Héctor the most. Imagine Enrique without his mustache, or Héctor with one and without his goatee. They'd resemble each other quite a bit, wouldn't they?

Of course, since no one actually knew what Héctor had looked like, Enrique had no idea of his resemblance to his infamous family-abandoning walkaway musician great-grandfather.

No one, that is, except one.

As Coco began to lose her memory, she would confuse Enrique with her father. The sight of him would upset her; she would start crying, or ask when he was coming home, why he had gone away, why he had never returned. (Inspired by this comic by @atarahderek)

This unsettled Enrique. How could his grandmother mistake him for her father? Did he really look like him so much? He was never going to be anything like him if he could help it.

And this is why he supported the music ban. His great-grandfather left the family for music. Enrique wasn't like his great-grandfather. Enrique was going to shun music and put his family above all else, just the opposite of what his great-grandfather had done. He knew that family was more important than anything, and he was going to live that to the utmost.

And that is why he tried to stop his mother from breaking Miguel's guitar, and why he actually succeeded in the end. He saw how important this was to his son, and his son was more important than music, ban or no ban.

(I feel like I could have explained this better. Feel free to comment/ask if you want me to elaborate.)

Luisa and her sister-in-law - and Franco, for that matter - all gave up music when they married into the family. Unlike the other Riveras, who never knew music to miss it, except for Miguel, they knew very well what they were missing. They didn't mind much, usually.

But sometimes, if Luisa and her sister-in-law happened to be alone in the workshop, and one of them would put on the radio to listen to the news, neither of them were going to say anything.

And if one of them happened to surreptitiously change the channel to something else, quickly turning it off as soon as one of their children or husbands or in-laws walked in, neither of them were going to say anything.

And if Coco happened to be sitting in the back of the workshop, she wasn't going to be saying anything either.

[thatoneweird014]

"I feel like I'm wandering through life without any direction."

"...Well, yeah? That's the point of wandering."

"Yeah, but what if I never reach anywhere? What if I'm wandering forever..."

"Don't worry, you will."

"How do you know that?"

"The ocean. It's big, isn't it?"

"Yeah..."

"Even if you cross the entire ocean, you'll bump into land eventually. In the same way. It's the same with your life."

"Well technically-"

"The ocean means the entire ocean. Even the parts that touch the shore."

"But you can't compare the ocean and my life. It's too big."

"Meaning you have more opportunities."

"No. I mean- it's not sentient."

"...So, unlike the ocean, you can actually see where your going. And you can also choose to change direction once you spot something?"

"... It's not that simple."

"Now you're just trying to be depressed."

"I can't wait that long. Everyone else will have moved far ahead by then."

"Have you not also moved ahead? Look at who you were then and who you are now and tell me you haven't grown."

"That was different-"

"The only thing that's different is that then you were being given direction and now you have the freedom to make your own."

"...I didn't think this was what freedom would be like."

"You thought you'd leave and suddenly all is happy and well and you have all the choice in the world?"

"No- Well... Kinda."

"The things you need in your life will come into it eventually anyway. Rushing it only ruins the quality."

"I didn't realise I was this impatient... or dependent."

"Everyone else figures it out along the way. What? You think you're an exception?"

"...Kinda."

"Look. I could sit here and tell you that you 'bring something special to the table' or 'you have purpose' and even though I mean it I don't think you'd believe me. So let me tell you this: you have never been an exception to any rule. Ever. Sure, you may have had setbacks or disabilities or have gotten off the hook a couple of times, but you are not an exception. Not to anything before and definitely not this.

I don't know if you believe in God, but you only got to this point because you kept getting opportunities, whether they fell into your lap or not. And that's only because someone kept giving them to you. No matter what you say about your life 'going nowhere' or 'being pathetic', someone out there, whether it be God or the forces of nature or a really good person, loves you so much that despite your being 'a waste of space', they kept giving them to you, believing in you. If you truly were 'just a nobody' you think the world wouldn't have thrown you out yet? You think the world is that forgiving?

So look at me. You don't know where you're going right now. And you don't know when you'll ever get somewhere. But you are loved enough that people want to support you the whole way regardless, want to believe in you even when you think you have nothing to offer. I know I do. If you can't find direction in the next week, we will love you. If you can't find it in the next month, we will love you. A year, still love you, and beyond. Take it slow, man. The only person who's rushing is you. We're all fine waiting and future you is fine waiting. All your achievements are there, in the future, sitting there waiting as long as they need to for you to come collect them. Your future will always be walking towards you. So take your time, yeah?"

[yllowpages]

027. What is their idea of perfect happiness?

028. What makes them laugh out loud?

029. What sort of sense of humor does your character have?

030. Do they believe in the afterlife?

for john

random character development questions

027.

would it be too much to just say.........helen? because i do think that's true. perfect happiness would be a long, quiet life with her. not the mere five (and change) years they got. prior to meeting her, i feel like john never fully considered that broader concept : perfect happiness. before, maybe happiness was simply being in charge of his own life, away from the people who raised him the way they did. maybe it's having all the nice things he never could have dreamed of having when he was young after losing his parents. maybe it was being lucky enough to call a very few, select people friends in that world. and i think all of those things did make him happy, to an extent. meeting helen, however, sort of showed him the bigger potential of life. peace. quiet. anonymity. the feeling of being seen just as he is. even without her, after her, i think his perfect happiness would then just be living the life she wanted for him : peace and quiet, and just opening himself up to the experience of living his life.

028.

a good joke. like a really good one with a nice set-up and punchline. also stories. that kind you just have to look back on and laugh based on what happened or who you were with. those stories that nobody else will find funny except for you and your friend who was there, so you're both telling it while out of breath. but at the same time as all that, it depends on the person. there are simply just some people he'll be more comfortable being that expressive with (certified rhi moment honestly).

029.

wry, sort of dry. even sarcastic. and unintentional. i think of the library scene when this happens:

"Fourteen million: it's a lot of money." "Not if you can't spend it."

that response from john is genuinely fucking funny. but he didn't even mean it as a joke. especially in that scenario, it's a threat. but it's funny (at least to the audience, maybe not in-universe but i digress).

but dry humor is the same sort of thing he will, generally, find funny. though i think his sense of humor for what he thinks is amusing is more broad. he probably also enjoys physical comedy (think buster keaton, charlie chaplin, even someone like dick van dyke), and situational humor.

030.

i think there's a lot of layers to it and it's not just a clear-cut yes or no. overall, i'm going to say he leans toward no. he's been surrounded by so much death in his life, just by vicinity and by his own doing. he almost can't believe that there is some realm or land people go to afterward. death is final. to him, there's nothing after that. it's the last stop, for better or worse. but also......he'd like to. for example, we have this exchange between him and another character in the fourth film (it's in one of the trailers even):

"Saying goodbyes?" "Saying hello." "You think your wife can hear you?" "No." "Then why bother?" "Maybe I'm wrong."

i think he thinks there's a very peaceful optimism in the idea of speaking to people in the beyond. that your last goodbye wasn't really the last one. especially at this point in his life, during these films, that would be something he'd consider a lot. maybe simply in some small form of denial surrounding helen's death.

then we have a chapter 2 exchange that brings up another point:

"Do you fear damnation, John?" "Yes."

but i almost doubt this is john talking about the concept of hell and the eternal damnation that comes with it. to me, it's almost him even acknowledging that duality within him: the man vs. the myth. he doesn't necessarily fear dying or an afterlife. he will do anything and everything to stay alive and he has this unwillingness to die, but however he dies...he wants it to be as the man helen knew. dying as jo.hn wi.ck the assassin, to him, would be his real damnation because it would be everything she didn't want for him and everything he didn't want for himself.