#except ive missed out on a lot more than one
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i was gonna make a post abt how i dont rly like like. Genre changing covers of songs and then realized upon introspection is that i sort of just dont like rock covers of songs generally
#there are exceptions probably. And i do like rock music im not like deep into it or anything but my dad likes rock music soni grew up#listening to it And enjoy it#maybe im just projecting my prejudices against rock fans into the covers. or something . but itll be like. a disco song and its a rock cover#and im sort of just like. IDK. im probably being silly abt it and it isnt avtually anything just From my interactions with rock fans a lot#of the ones ive spoken to NOT ALL r like..sooo goddamn pretentious and rly put down like Any other genre of music esp like. pop and also#like literally any genre with black roots For some reason . Who knows why that is ... so tomme when they do like a rock cover of a song it#feels more like a Lol fixed your song now Cool ppl can listen to it rather than like a. ooh i enjoyed your song and i wanted to try and do#it but in my style of music. If that makes sense. which is literally just me making up an issue and im Literally putting words in their#mouth I am realizing . IDKK just rambling i suppose. Apologies#like idk i think the novelty of like um. Ooh heres this super cutesy song in a more 'aggressive' sounding form is like. cool but it just umm#idk. ik everyone and their mother says this but i rly do like a wide variety of genres and i go to different genres for different things you#know. and i feel like . IDK i rly am just saying anything. is this an evil thing to say#okay sorry. do not take any of this seriously i am going to bed idt im 1. wording snything write 2#idk if i have a salient (is that the word?) thought to express anyways . another miss for connor in the thinking department he has gotttt#to stop trying! gn everyone love you#also this was a thought that came to my mind bc of a podt i saw but its not like me being mad abt seeing that post or eing mad at the#person who put it on my dash LOL it was a fine video i loooove mirrors like that real ones remember#Just made me think abt it. and i think also i still have some lingering rage from that stupid fucking lay all your love on me cover ider if#that was a genre change or not i get so mad abt it that its fully blacked out of my head#but i think its influencing me in dark ways. and also im just imagining someone doing like an all i need is your sweet loving rock cover and#its making me so.mad#and please listen to All i need is your sweet loving off of gloria gaynors 1975 album '#'never can say goodbye' do this for me i love youuu :] its a rly good album
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4 am and I can't sleep bc my joints are in so much pain 😒
#im so tired too o<-<#miss the days i could draw in bed easily at night. i share my bed now.. but would be worth trying djdndjdb#my puppy sleeps in the bed now too i really like it!#except in the morning if shes up she will dig us out of the blankets.. its cute but ridiculous dhdndh#also omg... this evening i forgot to give her dinner (so much going on w me 😞) and didnt realize until a few hours late#but like. it made me also realize that she doesnt really ask for food. i dont think she knows she can ask...?#i was like omg are you hungy ? and she was like omg yay ☺️#idk why this is a thing w me rn. like she doesnt know she can ask for dinner. babey..... ;_; ...#anyways i think i just came here to complain as usual#nothing new with me other than new art. reading more. think thats abt it..#my partner and i have been reading together before bed. he reads out loud to me#i like it a lot. were really into horror right now and looking for more !#he does voices and the whole bit and i love getting to freak out together mid chapter and stuff.#its different than while watching a tv show or movie idk.#and currently on my own im reading ag/e//ls bef/ore man. maybe 80 pages in or smthn its nice so far#what ive been REALLY wanting to read is medieval horror. surprisingly hard to find.#i asked someone who works at the bookstore and she was so like. baffled by it o<-< she was trying so hard but couldnt think of or#find anything but genuinely trying so hard i felt bad... and i tried to say it was okay but she was dedicated atp 😭#and then at the checkout she came by again like. medieval horror..... thats a tough one. and i just profusely apologized again djsbsusbshsn#so if anyone had some medieval horror they enjoy 🧍♂️ id love a recommendation
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:O
#aaaaaaaahhh i missed sm on tumblr i just quickly checked some blogs and it made me sad and happy at the same time#but i rly gotta focus on studying for my exams ugh. even tho i was away on the weekend w some of my friends lol. it was so fun#i haven't had sleepovers w friends since i went to highschool which is over a decade ago#it was so good and fun even tho i didn't get a lot of sleep. but i caught up on sleep on the days since and yesterday and today ive been#feeling p energized c: today i. registered? or maybe declared is a more fitting word. that i wanna change my name and gender marker#and now i have to wait until the end of the year to actually change them. but it's in motion!#i also made an appointment for a chest ultrasound so now i just need a psychiatrist to be able to get top surgery w the surgeon i picked#i recently had a job interview for a student job as a mentor! it won't pay a lot but a bit money is more than nothing#and i enjoy being a mentor so i hope ill get the job. haven't heard back yet#also i found out that all the fellow students that i have become friends w are queer. i am friends w almost all my fellow students that#are queer except w one person. it's funny bc when we all started becoming friends we didn't know that the others were queer.#well i outed myself in front of professors and the class multiple times bc I didn't pass back then so it was obvious that im queer#but i didn't know abt the others. we all just gravitated to each other which is nice. one of them isn't even out to family or friends#at home and another one told me I'm the first person they've come out to so i feel p honored that we can be open and ourselves w each other#we watched so many queer movies and shows on the weekend i loved it#i never would've thought i'd come this far. look at me being mostly mental-illness-free medically transitioning and having a social life#being more comfortable w myself than ever#now i just gotta get a nice degree and a well paying fun job (i've had a shitty fun job before) and tackle all those medical issues i have#like exhaustion. but one step at at a time. i truly feel so good rn!! :D hope you guys are doing good as well#personal log stardate
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Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley Drabble
Hi lovelies! Lia here again, I've been quite busy with school so I hope you guys can be a little patient with content since I've been stuck on a slump and there's a lot of things I'm currently busy with at the moment because of school despite posting so much last week. Here's the weekly content and I hope you all enjoy :)
Also how do you all feel if I write works inspired by old gacha songs? And yes I used to be a gacha girly, it was some wild phase AHAHAHA
My CoD Masterlist
Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @thesnowurzikdjinn @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @cutenote @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000
Brainrot, Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley who decided he wanted to get a divorce with you because things weren't working out between the both of you, so you had to share custody of your daughter.
You managed to get yourself together, having no time to grieve that part of you that he took with him because you had a little one depending on you. You loved that girl for all she was, however she brings you and Simon together.
Not that you resent her for it, god no, it wasn't her fault you and your husband couldn't see eye to eye.. that he refused to retire after everything, maybe it was just your paranoia getting to you. You couldn't stand the fear anymore, the fear of one day he's not the one you'll see when you open the front door but Price.
You forgot how difficult it was doing this on your own until now, you could barely get up, your head was actually killing you. You pushed through, making your daughter breakfast.
You felt like you were about to throw up, ears started to ring and everything else felt numb. The next thing you know was your eyes rolling back and everything going black, the last thing you heard was your toddler panicking, calling you over and over on the verge of crying.
All while you were unconscious, your little one runs to your room to look for your phone to call her dad.
"Listen I know we—" Simon said expecting you on the phone before getting cut off by his daughter..
"Dada! Momma's dead, dada. Momma's not breathing!" In a panic, she cried it out like a mantra. Simon was in a panic, he got up from where he was and was speeding towards what used to be your shared home.
The next thing you know, you were hearing the beeps of a heart monitor. All your senses were working, all except sight.. you didn't have enough energy to open them, in the coldness of your whole body from the well ventilated room, you felt warmth on your hand.
It was all too familiar, calloused but so gentle and warm. Simon.. it was Simon. All while processing this situation, all that's going through Simon's head are the what ifs.
"Fucking hell, help her.. My wife, she's been unconscious for thirty minutes. She's breathing but it's faint and she's burning" Simon almost yelled in a full panic, he was doing his best not to snap at the hospital staff but how couldn't he? Hadn't even realized that he called you something you weren't anymore, the title he took with him.
Your little one holding her dad's hand in the waiting room, she was observant, an emotionally intelligent little girl who holds her dad's hand. Simon keeps reminding himself to calm down, how much his bumblebee must be terrified, far more than he was so he takes her in his arms.
Sooner or later they were allowed to enter, doctor said you were stabilized and only collapsed from a horrid fever and so much fatigue. Thinking of losing you, just like that with no warning would be the second time Simon would lose you.
Now watching you unconscious, IV tube connected to you because of course you haven't been eating well either. It made him rethink everything, was it a mistake to give you those papers? Was it worth it losing the one person in his life who he would give his life for with no hesitation?
All he could do for now was sit next to you, no matter how long it takes for you to wake up because he doesn't have the strength to leave, maybe in a day or two but not now..
Part 2 anyone?
#cod x reader#aethelwyne lia writes#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#cod headcanons#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon riley x plus size reader#simon riley x y/n#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost x you#ghost x plus size reader#ghost x female reader#ghost x y/n
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˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Kismet
── kismet. When you encounter something by chance that seems like it was meant to be, then it could be kismet, your destiny.
or ── Your solo trip to Barcelona was may more than what you expected after meeting a kind stranger on the plane and spending the whole duration of your tour with him.
pair ⟢ art student!jay x fem law student!reader
wc ⟢ 10.9k
genres/tropes/disclaimers ⟢ fluff, one shot, angst(?), strangers to lovers, meet cute, mentions of Sunghoon, Karina (aespa), and Wonyoung (IVE), very slight jangkku but nothing major
{let me know if I've missed anything}
authors note ⟢ I am not from Barcelona, nor Madrid so if I get anything wrong please let me know. Also I hope my memory and research serves me right about the history parts included in all of these. + this is a veeery old story I had and just rewrote it but i hope you enjoy!
You have never really imagined yourself leaving your house with a carrier in your hand and your mom's shower of kisses, going to the airport, ready to board a plane headed straight for Barcelona, all on your own for a good 3 days of your summer vacation. A solo trip has been on your list of things to do before you turn 30 ever since you were in high school. Growing up, you've always dreamt of going to another country without your parents dragging you to gift shops after gift shops while all you just wanted to do was to go to the beach or to see their local museum.
And now, all of those long-awaited dreams are finally coming true. It took a while to convince your mom to let you travel alone since she's always been so strict. She kept on asking why would you insist on doing that and why don't you want to take the family with you. But after begging her to let you do it on your own because you want to use this opportunity so you can enjoy some alone time and independence, she finally gave you her permission, but only for 3 days, and with your own money —a deal that was more than enough for you. At surface level it may sound a bit suffocating having your parents know every plan you wish to do, but you know that she means well. Your mom has always restricted you on a lot of things, but if she sees that it makes her children happy then she does her best to keep her worries aside and just let them do the things that they want (with the exception of anything illegal that it; she wouldn't let you see the next day).
I took you more than two whole semesters of working part time at the local bakery and fighting the urge to buy every cute new shirt on display in order to earn enough from your paycheck to buy a plane ticket and save up enough pocket money before you can finally get to your dream vacation.
Everything was going well, there was no traffic on the way to the airport, the flight didn't get delayed, you were now on your second plane after the layover, the sky was clear, you got a window seat, and you had enough leg room. The only thing that bothered you was the fact that the man sitting next to you doesn't seem to value your personal space.
It's been the 5th time since departure that he kept on placing his head on your shoulder every time he decides to take a nap. All efforts of freeing your shoulder of this unknown man were put to waste whenever he keeps putting them back. You're a person that usually understands these kinds of situations, but god it was getting annoying. A man, seated in an aisle away from yours, seemed to notice your struggle. He was quiet but he kept side glancing at what was happening.
Park Jongseong (or as his close friends like to call him as Jay) heard the person seated across him let out a sigh every time the old geezer unknowingly placed his head on her shoulder. He saw the discomfort on your face and all your efforts to get him off of you.
It was honestly painful to watch.
He keeps seeing this young girl push the head of the stranger but then it keeps happening again and again.
And now, for the sixth time that it happened, you just decided to politely tell the man that you were getting uncomfortable, when he woke up he apologized and tried to fight off his drowsiness.
Guilt suddenly crept up your nerves thinking that this middle aged man couldn't even get some rest because you felt uneasy. Staring out of the window to avoid any more awkward encounters, when suddenly Jay broke the quiet air. "Excuse me sir, could we perhaps switch seats? I need to ask my friend about something and I wouldn't want to be rude by talking to her while you're in the middle."
You averted your gaze from the window to the guy who was now standing up to gather his things. (Much to your surprise that is. Was he that tired to just let a random dude give him orders to switch places?)
A young man (who, based on his looks, was the same age as you) took the old man’s place; who now was resting quietly in his new seat.
You looked at the new stranger seated beside you and quietly observed his features. He had a high bridge nose, his lips were full and plump, his eyebrows were dark and he had a striking jawline to compliment them. His jet black hair seemed to match his tanned skin.
He looked at you and gave you a small smile.
Should I say thank you? You thought to yourself
You kept looking at him, with no expression on your face. Jongseong’s smile started to change into an awkward one, not really knowing what to do at this point. To him, he just wanted to do something nice for the girl who looked like was about to burst out at any given moment. But now, you're giving him a blank look and a quiet atmosphere that made him feel like he did something that bothered you even more.
"Uhm...thank you" You whispered.
With those words, his smile returned to his face. "No problem, I saw you struggle there for a bit. It'd be really tiring if you had to do that for the whole flight" He said to you in a hushed voice, being careful not to be heard.
“Well thankfully I wouldn’t have to experience that. It’s nice of you” You hushed back, removing your gaze off of him and back to the window of clouds and blue skies.
___
More than 5 hours had passed and the plane was still in the air.
After getting some shut eye, you're starting to feel numbness as you sit through the whole flight dozing off or watching a series. You and the stranger seated next to you haven't had a conversation since he switched seats with the other man. The only exchange you had after that was when you had to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.
You weren't really one for conversation. You've always had trouble starting conversations with people, and you struggled to keep them going. And seeing that you were either too busy sleeping or crying over another episode of the drama that you were watching, the handsome boy didn't seem to bother to talk to you either.
You were onto the last few episodes and things were starting to get very emotional and being the type of person that gets their emotions attached to these kinds of dramas, you unfortunately couldn't control the tears that escaped from your eyes; in a place like this, besides a cute guy who was probably judging you right now.
Jay thought it was cute though; How this girl beside him reacted to every scene that she was watching. He doesn't even know if she was aware that he heard her gasp when one of the main character's secrets were revealed, or how she started smiling when the leads kissed. Now, she's been shedding tears and she was desperately trying to hide it.
While trying to cover your face with your hands by wiping the tears that fell on your cheek, you suddenly felt a tap on your shoulder, only to be met with a pack of tissues. You looked at the stranger (whose name you still don't know), and the tissues he was holding out.
"These might help" He smiled at you once again and you couldn't help but feel embarrassed. You hesitated to grab them. His hand was still reaching out and he continued by saying "Take one, I completely understand. Episode 16 was the worst"
With the small piece of dignity you had left, you took a piece, quickly thanked him, and returned to your screen. You can see from the corner of your eye that he let out a small laugh.
Great. He must think I'm a total weirdo.
After finishing the last episode, and milking your eyes out, You have finally decided to take a rest from watching. Jay looked at you and gave you a thumbs up, non-vocally asking you if you were okay.
Letting out a small laugh, you looked at your feet before speaking.
"I'm sorry you had to witness that" You told him in a hushed voice while trying to avoid eye contact. "It's fine, I couldn't stop crying myself when I finished the drama"
Deciding to try and have a good conversation with the nice guy, you finally looked back at him. "So are you traveling alone?" You asked him.
"Yeah, I've always wanted to go to Barcelona. They say their beaches are the best, and could make you speechless and I want to see it for myself" He excitedly told you.
"Is it your first time to travel alone?"
"Not really. This would be my third time" You nodded and told him how lucky he is that he got to do it often.
"How about you?" He asked you back. "Is it your first solo trip?"
You said yes by slowly nodding your head. "I'm really nervous if I have to be honest. My mom usually plans our trips. I don't even know what I would do If I got lost. I didn't even get a tour guide, because that wouldn't fit my budget." You start talking while playing with your fingers.
"It's going to be fun. Don't worry too much. If something bad happens, then it happens. You could miss out on so many great things if you begin to worry."
He gave out another smile. Something that is weirdly comforting from a stranger.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are now approaching Barcelona where the local time is 1:00 PM. Please be in your seat with your seatbelt firmly fastened...."
With the sound of the speakers telling everyone to prepare for landing, the conversation was immediately cut off. You went to check if your seatbelt was fastened and if the seat tables were stowed away properly. Your phone was turned off so you didn't have to worry about it. You've always hated take offs and landing. The ear clogging is painful and irritating. Just as you were about to prepare for ringing in your ears, the guy beside you started to pass you something again.
This time it was chewing gum.
"Do you want some? I chew on them it so my ears won't hurt during landing"
How does he seem to have a solution for everything I go through?
You grabbed the gum and thanked him before you could even hear the insufferable ear popping.
When you felt the plane land and when the cabin crews finally announced your arrival, you stood up quickly feeling the numbness in your legs that you have to pray to the gods that you wouldn't stumble over and make a fool out of yourself.
When you've finally got a hold of all your carry-ons, you prepared yourself to head out of the plane doors but before you did, saying thank you to the kind stranger who treated you well wouldn’t hurt.
But as you turn around in search of the striking set of eyes and beautiful tanned skin, he was nowhere to be found
Your eyes scanned what was left of the plane but only a few people were there, and none were of him.
I guess that was it. I never even got his name.
When the Barcelona air had hit your face and the unfamiliar landscape had come into your view, you've finally realized something; you're going to be doing this on your own now. No parents. No siblings. No tour guide. Not even a kind stranger to help you sort things out.
It's just you, alone, ready to take on an adventure that you've waited for so long.
___
You were lucky to get a great hotel at the heart of the Gothic Quarter, located just near the cathedral. It was summer and a lot of families were on vacation so you worried whether you'd be getting a good place to stay without having to pull out any more money than you've already had. Luckily for you, one of the hotels with good reviews that offers a cheap price had a room fitted enough for your liking and budget.
After setting down your things in the room, you decided to give the place a tour. The walls were painted white and they were accented with wood to fit the classy mood. There was a huge sliding window that connected the room and a small balcony that gives you a great view of the skyline. The room was small so there really wasn't much to look at. It was your typical summer hotel room but you couldn't complain. You were just glad you got here. You decided to go outside and take a look at the whole building before you decide to tour Barcelona. Grabbing your camera, you headed outside on the way to their lobby.
It was crowded, a lot of families were already here. Some were lounging on the couch and the children were running around. The staff was busy but they still accommodated their guests well. You decided to ask them for more inclusions and fair enough, you were pretty satisfied. They served a breakfast buffet and a rooftop pool. Although most hotels have that now, you still couldn't hide your smile.
It was time that you decided to go tour the city, starting with the cathedral that was a few blocks from my accommodation. A lot of people have said that the Barcelona Cathedral was something everyone must see in their lifetime. And there was no denying how amazing it was. With its gothic architecture and tall structures, you would’ve beat yourself up if you missed the chance to witness it.
You quickly took out your camera and started snapping pictures. Growing up loving the arts, you have always appreciated these kinds of things. The way the building was structured had you at awe. Photos wouldn't capture its beauty. You decided to go closer when you heard a deep voice behind you.
"Excuse me, could I take a picture?"
You turned around, surprised by the voice, but what surprised you more was who owned it.
It was him. The kind stranger that sat beside you on the plane. He was holding his camera that was hanging from his neck. He gave you a smile once again and a wave of his hand as if to say hello. "Either this is a coincidence or fate just wants us together”.
"What are you doing here?" You asked with surprise and confusion written on your face. "I mean, I did tell you I'm here on vacation right?" He said as if it was obvious.
Of course he is, why would I even ask that.
"I'm sorry I scared you." He apologized while giving a worried smile.
"No, don't worry, I just wasn’t expecting anyone. Just a bit surprised, that's all"
It really was a surprise. Even Jay questioned whether it was her or not.
He just got to the cathedral when he saw her standing in the middle with her looking through her viewfinder. He didn't believe it at first but after getting a good look, he knew it was her.
Then it felt awkward. There were hundreds of people and cars making noise around but the silence between the two of you was deafening.
To avoid the atmosphere you decided to just look through the photos on your camera. Until he spoke again.
"Do you want to check the inside?"
Without hesitation, you nodded your head since that was what you were planning to do before he arrived.
And so two pairs of feet led the both of you inside the infamous gothic church. The stranger was standing beside you making it seem like the both of you arrived together on purpose. People who don't know any better would think that the both of you are on this trip as a couple on their honeymoon (not that you would want people to think that).
It's either he must really respect your space or he was just as fascinated as you as he decided to not hold a conversation after entering the wide doors. Jongseong quickly took notice of the fact that you took your time to admire the interior of the cathedral. After looking at the beautiful ceiling he glanced at your amazed expression and involuntarily let out a small smile that even he wasn't aware of.
As you took your time looking up at the sculpted pillars and the intricate details of the altars and pews that were lit with a golden tint, mixed with the natural light that came from the stained glass windows, the mysterious man started talking again.
"Its other name is The Cathedral of the Holy Rosary and Saint Eulalia"
Looking from the altar to his face that the natural lighting perfectly captured, you waited for him to continue what he was saying, intriguing your curious and hungry mind. He was looking away from your gaze as he went on with what he had to say. "Most people know the place as the Barcelona Cathedral while locals like to call it La Seu."
After his explanation, he looked back at you and met with your eyes and went back to his discussion. "They named it after Saint Eulalia. She was a martyr. Was only 13 at the time that she was murdered by Roman soldiers. Poor soul was even tortured before her death. 13 different times specifically."
"Why'd they murder her?" You asked back, curious as to what happened.
"They said that she didn't want to renounce her Christianity when everyone was told to do so" His voice trailed off. He placed his hands inside the pockets of his coat and rocked on his heel. "I think it's admirable how she stuck to what she believed in despite other people telling her otherwise."
You thought to yourself, this man was really full of surprises. You came to this country hoping to learn something new but you never thought that it would be from a boy you met on the plane. "I guess you've done your research before coming here" You stated.
"I've read them somewhere. Stuff like these have always piqued my interest. Churches, paintings, sculptures, you name it."
"Art student?" You asked him with a raised brow.
"Was I too obvious?" He replied with a smirk. The both of you started to let out a small laugh while unintentionally synchronizing as you both stared at your feet.
"How about you?" Confused as to what he meant, you stared up at him with both brows raised. "Art student?" With a sad smile you shook your head left and right slowly. "Uhm...no. Legal management actually" He hummed and nodded at the same time in response.
"Lawyer?" He asked again. "I hope so". Jongseong seemed to notice the way you reacted but didn't dwell too much as to why. He just decided to switch back to your previous topic. "Well attorney, the locals also said that their cloister is also a must-see" His deep voice enthusiastically mentioned letting go of your previous conversation. "Then we should"
The both of you walk down the path on the way to the open-aired garden. At the heart of it was a beautiful sunbathed oasis that housed geese. Holding out your camera, you looked through the viewfinder to get a perfect shot of the scenery. Adjusting the zoom, aperture, and the angle in order to capture all of its beauty.
To your right, unknown to you, Jongseong was taking his own pictures. Not of the scenery. But of the person who captured his attention.
__
Your mom would pull out every strand of her hair all at once if she ever finds out that her daughter is roaming a foreign city with a man she just met.
You're honestly surprised that you aren't kicking your ass for something that could possibly be so dangerous. For all you know, this man could have been a serial killer or your stalker that had finally cornered you in a place that you know nothing of.
But alas, here you are heading for a small bookshop on the corner of La Rambla, Barcelona, because the both of you have found out that you enjoy the aura of bookstores.
You don't really understand it yourself as to why you would agree to let this man take you there without even knowing his name. However, something about him made you rely on him. His cold exterior was washed over by his warm and kind personality that you just couldn't help but see him as someone you could depend upon.
Known by a lot of people, you love reading. A small space at your home was dedicated to a shelf of all of the novels that you have read all throughout your reading journey. So when your strange new friend mentioned that he saw an antique bookshop on the way to the Cathedral, you did not hesitate to let him take you there.
The beautiful tree-lined pedestrian street of La Rambla was filled with people — tourists and locals. The streets were crowded and you made sure to look over your stuff in case there were any pickpockets. Your new friend decided that he should walk a step behind you to keep you safe.
Taking a short turn, your eyes have finally met with a bookshop that had an antique housing to compliment its aesthetic. You stared up at him to confirm whether this was the place that he was referring to. He nodded and held out his arms which meant that you should go in first.
You opened the doors to the bookstore and you were quickly met with an array of books and novels lined up on wooden shelves with a number of rows. The inside was incredibly quaint and you hoped to the gods that you could find a good book in English without having to spend hours looking through all of them.
You weren't the only one fascinated with what you saw. You looked at the person beside you to see that he had his mouth open and his eyes fixated on the rows of shelves that lined up inside the antique bookshop.
The both of you wasted no time looking through the number of books. Your eyes quickly scan the shelves for a nice read. The titles were filled with different genres and languages. Fiction, travel guides, biographies, classics, history memoirs. It was every bibliophile's dream. You weren't really sure what you were looking for to begin with.
Should I get a Jane Austen novel? Or maybe a memoir on Princess Diana? A dystopian book? A different version of your Percy Jackson books that you have on your shelf? Or maybe just get another law book for one of your legal management classes to get it over with.
You thought to yourself as you looked through the pages of every novel that your hands could pick up. You decided to look through the shop when you finally caught the sight of your companion. He had his back turned as he was looking through a book over at one section of the shop. Arts section. You should've known.
You decided to take a look at this section yourself. As you approached his figure, Jongseong turned around sensing yours. You waited until you approached him before speaking. "Found something you like?"
He nodded his head yes as he showed you what book he wanted to buy. A memoir on Michaelangelo. "How about you?" This time, he asked you. You nodded your head no with a sad smile. "I don't even know what I'm looking for"
"Well, what do you like?" He asked again.
"What inspires you?"
"Uhm....I don't know. Politics? Maybe I could read about the policies around he-" You weren't even able to finish your sentence because you were cut off with his deep voice. Jay knew that tone and expression. That voice didn't show genuine love for what you were talking about.
"What do you honestly like?" Not believing your excuse, he asked again.
You took a few seconds to answer his question. "I like photography".
He raised his eyebrows at you. His body was now facing yours and his eyes were intently looking at your face while listening closely to what you have to say. "I've always liked photography. When my mom bought me my camera, I wouldn't let go of it and just take photos of everything. I've only tried landscapes because that was the only thing I could start with. I've wanted to do portraits but I don't have enough ideas on how to do it. Plus, my major doesn't really give me the time to practice."
Jay saw the twinkle in your eyes as you talked about your love for the art form. "Then it's settled. Let's get you a book on that one"
Without even realizing it, he was soon dragging you all across the bookshop trying to look for the perfect book to take home.
And somehow, someway, after buying yourself a book on the art of photography, you and your companion found yourselves having dinner at one of the restaurants you found down the street. The both of you have decided to try tapas.
You didn't know when, but the awkward atmosphere that the both of you had when you first met was replaced with comfort and a light air.
Despite not knowing each other's names, you talked as if you're old friends that were catching up with one another after not seeing each other for years. While waiting for the order to arrive, the both of you started discussing what other places you plan to go to during your stay.
"There's this place I saw online. I was planning to go there. But it's getting late, I think it'd be better if I go there when the sun is still out" You said to the young man that was sitting across from you. "What's it called?" He asked.
"Uhm it's a park. I think it's called Ciutadella? Ciutadella Park?" You told him not really sure if your pronunciation was correct.
His eyes immediately widened, signalling that he knew what you were talking about. "I was planning to go there too! They have this amazing cascada inside the park. It’s near The Sagrada Familia if you want to check that out too. " He told you with an excited tone. You smiled at his reaction.
Suddenly, you wondered whether the both of you would be going together just like what you did today. You thought about if it was a good thing to ask him that because you didn't want to seem like you have attached yourself already with your travel partner and that you would want to tour the city with him again tomorrow. It was silly to be honest. Why would I want to go sightseeing with this man when the only thing I know about him is his face and his love for art? You realized that you were still in mid conversation and that it was rude to just go quiet all of the sudden.
"I was planning to practice taking pictures once I got there" You said to him. Your fingers were playing with the utensils you had in front of you. While slightly tapping on the wooden table, Jay replied. "That's great then. I guess we should go there early so you have enough natural light."
We? Is he really implying that we should go together?
He looked at your face and saw that your expression was mixed with both confusion and surprise. Your head was slightly tilted like a lost puppy, your mouth was slightly ajar, and your eyebrows were raised. He started questioning whether he said the right words. Did he come off as too adherent?
"You want us to go together?" He was caught off guard when you asked him. Not knowing the right words to say, he stammered. "I mean...if you want to...I'm not forcing you, it's just...I mean, we are going to the same place, so why don't we go together?"
His voice was hanging in the air. The only sounds that you two heard were the cluttering of utensils, other customers talking, and the background music that the restaurant provided. You noticed his eyes shaking trying to avoid your eyes. Then, you let out a giggle.
"Sure" You said.
His eyes finally met with yours the instant you said that word. "Oh God, I thought you would think I'm a creep" With his words you started to laugh. "You kind of are" You joked while telling him with a smile. Jay played along, letting out an exaggerated gasp while his right hand found his chest. "I feel offended"
You were still laughing at his silly expression when you continued talking "To be honest, you wanted to sit with me during the plane ride and now you decide to come up to me at the cathedral. I think that calls for a creep" He smiled at your smug expression as you talked. "I only did it because it was painful to watch. You kept frowning every five minutes" He fired back. Jay gave an equally smug look and now it was your turn to react. "Was it really painful to watch?" He started laughing, showing you his smile.
Soon your laughter started to die down. The air between the two of you was silent again, but in a comforting way.
Epiphany hits you after your discussion on how the both of you met. You never got to say thank you properly. When you turned around to say your gratitude, you went looking for him, only to see that he was gone. Not losing the opportunity again, you decided to tell him now.
"Thank you, by the way" He looked up at you when you said those words.
He was silent and didn't say anything so you decided to explain further. "For what you did on the plane. Switching seats, the tissue — as embarrassing as that was, the chewing gum. You didn't even know me but you decided to help. So....Thank you"
A smile slowly started to form across Jay’s face. He saw your shy demeanor as you said your gratitude towards him which made his heart flutter. "You're welcome," He replied.
"It's strange how we just met and you start treating me like a friend but you did it anyway. I mean, look at us, we don't even know each other's names and-" Your blabbering was cut off with his deep voice.
"Jongseong. Or Jay if you prefer." He replied. "That's my name"
“Y/N. Nice to meet you”
__
You were pretty satisfied that your day had ended with you putting a name to that stranger's face.
Jay.
Ever since you told each other your names, they pretty much rolled off the tongue. After dinner both of you really had nothing left to do except enjoy the Barcelona night sky. Jay talked to you throughout the evening. He told you how he got into art and why he loves it so much. From his story, you clearly tell that it was something he was passionate about. It basically ran through his entire body.
But just when I thought that nothing could beat his love for painting, Jay couldn't help himself as he told you about his friends back home. He even took the time to pull out a photo of them that he had on his wallet to show you. With the way he smiled while he told you all of his favorite memories of them together, it was clear that he really valued them.
Of course, you had to share stories as well. It would be really unfair on his part if he did all the talking.
So you told him how your major wasn't even your first choice. You've wanted to take up photography or film as your degree. But remembering how you felt like you had to repay your parents for everything that they had done, you decided to take up a pre-law course so you can follow in the footsteps of your father.
You had to admit that you didn't enjoy it at first but you grew to love it. The idea of switching majors still pops up once in a while but you've always told yourself that you could still do photography even with a PhD.
His words still rang in your head after you told him your story.
"You shouldn't do things to make other people proud. You have to make yourself proud"
Jay finally understood all those sad smiles everytime that topic was brought about. Sure, he felt sorry for her and wanted to tell her to switch if photography was what made her truly happy but he decided that he shouldn't. He wanted to respect your decision, knowing that he didn't have control over her life.
He walked you back to your hotel which was only a few blocks away from his. Before saying good night and "see you again", he promised to wait for you outside of your hotel tomorrow at 8:00 AM so the both of you could go to the Ciutadella Park and the Basilica together.
It was silly how quickly you had trusted this man to join you while you toured around the city but that was nearly impossible not to do with his charming personality.
Jay couldn't believe it himself that he was able to build a friendship (if that's what you called it) through this trip. It's usually just him traveling alone or traveling with friends but never with a woman he just found out the name of.
And so the night goes. Neither of them could sleep properly because of jetlag. You also had to remind yourself to update your parents because they might be going crazy at this point. Of course, you didn't tell them about Jay. They would flip. You thought that it'd be better if you kept this to the both of you.
__
The alarm that you've set the previous night rang to tell you that it was time to get ready for day 2 of your formerly called solo trip in Barcelona.
To say that you felt giddy to finally have to spend the whole entire day traveling the city was an understatement. You want to believe that it was because yesterday's flight tired you out that you haven't comprehended the thought that you are strolling the city but if you were trying to be honest enough, it was probably because your thoughts were filled with the art-loving and soft hearted boy that accompanied you.
Now, after getting ready to go out, you decided to go down to the hotel lobby as Jay said he will be meeting you there. Waiting for the elevator doors to open, you made sure that you looked presentable enough. When the ground floor came into your sight, you got out of the golden walled elevator and walked down to the lobby.
The place was huge and crowded. Dozens of people were walking around or seated on the sofas but within those numbers of people, your eyes still found him sitting on one of the sofas near, with his eyes on the floor.
Jay has been sitting on the same couch for the past 25 minutes, waiting for you to come down. He came early just in case you finished before him, not wanting you to wait too long. A few of the hotel staff have approached him already asking if he wanted anything. He didn't want to be paranoid but at one point he even thought that you ditched him and went ahead earlier. That was until he saw your figure walking towards him.
Jay was beautiful. You've noticed it from the first time you saw him. His eyes pulled you in and his boxy smile captivated you. It was like seeing a star up close. But just like him, you wouldn't admit it out loud.
When he first saw you, he didn't deny the fact that he thought that you were attractive. That obviously wasn't something he would say so suddenly but it was still something he would have to admit for himself. Today was just like yesterday. The same thoughts came running through his head when he saw you smile at him as you approached him.
He immediately stood up to greet you and to return the smile you gave him. "Ready for today?" He asked with a welcoming look. Returning the kindness, you answered him. "Of course!" You held out your camera and smiled.
"Well let's get going then"
_
It surprisingly just took the both of you a few minutes from your hotel room to your destination. Somehow, to the extent of your knowledge, the small map that Jay had prepared for his trip came in handy in time of traveling the city. With your broken Spanish, you thanked a few people that helped you get to where you are now — Ciutadella Park.
You were welcomed with a wide steel fence, wedged in between two statues. The inside was like a forest that housed itself with many trees and a peaceful ambiance. When the both of you finally got inside, you were more than pleased to see such beauty. The garden was gorgeous. It was surrounded by hundreds of plants, and the air was as fresh as it looked. The fountain at the center was enormous and breath-taking. Upon entering, you couldn't contain the excitement and started capturing everything you could see. From the flowerscape to the cascade, you knew that you would be able to fill your camera with so many pictures.
But pictures will only be pictures until you turn them into memories.
Jay suddenly asked you if you wanted to get your picture taken. Quickly hesitating, he kept on persisting, saying that it won't be forever that you would get to see this place, and not having your photo taken there could make you regret it in a few years.
"If you let me take your picture, I'd let you practice your portraits on me"
A tempting offer since that is what you told him that you wanted to do. Honestly, you just felt shy to stand in front of the camera with him taking the photo. Silently giving him a look that said "I kind of want to, but I'm not sure", he extended his hand which meant to give him your camera. After a few more seconds of deciding, you finally caved in. He instructed you to stand near the fountain and smile, in which you did.
Jay really had no excuse other than to build up conversation again. He didn't even intend to say that you would model for him but seeing there really isn't any other person there with her, he had no choice. Not that he complained, he saw a few of your photos, some through the camera he took from you, and some through what you showed him over dinner last night. He trusted what you could do — something an artist like him would know. He saw you stand in front of the scenery ready to smile for the camera.
He had to admit that you look just as gorgeous compared to the garden. You were breath-taking. After taking more than a dozen pictures, Jay handed you back your camera. While actually judging yourself through the screen, your companion took some pictures of his own. A few of the scenery, and some, of you.
You had to admit, he did make you look decent in the photo. He captured your smile without it looking too cheesy. There were a few candid shots here and there but you were pretty pleased with it. It made you glad that you agreed to Jay’s random request. You looked back up and saw him taking some photos on his own camera.
You approached with a smirk. "So how about that deal?", already knowing what you meant, he hid his camera and smiled at you.
The whole practice shoot with Jay took a lot of shots, laughing, whining, and begging. He was an amazing model, you were sure of it. If he didn't major in arts, you would most probably see him on a billboard or a magazine. His looks alone could get those companies big money. Jay was also a goof. He liked to play a lot. Like a cat. He has a habit of charming people. He doesn't do it intentionally, it just sort of comes naturally to him.
They just find him too irresistible. He isn't aware that he has such a contagious smile and laugh that even when he does the bare minimum, people laugh along with him. It didn't surprise you that despite not having many still shots where he wasn't laughing, Jay looked exceptionally good. To say that he was impressed with your skills was an understatement, he saw your passion so whatever you had put out, he knew that he would like it. I mean, art built from passion is always better than aesthetically pleasing art right?
The day passed by like lightning. After taking your photos of your companion, you both strolled around the park, even going to the lake to take a short boat ride.
Now, the both of you were on your way to the Picasso museum for Jay. It took both of you at least another several minutes of travel. He started to become giddy. He didn't show it but through the small time of knowing him, you knew that he was ready to see the exhibit.
When the two of you entered the museum, you could see that he was gleaming with excitement. The once talkative boy became quiet as he took his time to admire the art pieces. He carefully read each description and he would tell you his own analysis of each work.
"I'm sorry if I talk about this stuff too much" He started to apologize. Something he shouldn't do. No one should really apologize for something that makes them genuinely happy.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. I like hearing you talk about these things" You assured him. He looked from the painting on the wall to you. "You do?" You nodded in response. "Of course. It tells me something I never knew" Jay gave you a small and genuine smile. He really appreciated it when people listened to his explanations and stories. It makes him want to tell more.
"Well I hope you wouldn't mind if I asked you to go to one more right?"
"Today? I thought we were going to the night market?" You asked back. "We can always go tomorrow or the next day, I mean we have-"
"Jay" You cut him off. He hummed in response and looked at you. "Tomorrow is my last day. My flight leaves at 11PM" You quickly told him before he starts making plans for the future. You completely forgot to tell him that your stay here was limited and that you have to go back home immediately.
"So soon?" You nodded in response.
"I still have like a few days left, traveling wouldn't be fun without you" He said with a pout on his face. You couldn't help but awe at him. If only you could stay for a few more days but booking another plane ticket would cost you more and you didn't have money for that now.
"We could still go in the morning or the afternoon though, I wouldn't mind" You smiled at him. Unintentionally and unknowingly, you lightly grabbed his arm, something which startled him a bit, but in a good way. "Well then miss Y/N, let's make your last day memorable. I'm taking you to Madrid"
__
Tomorrow came back so soon. After yesterday, Jay said he would pick you up again for your last day tour around the city. Madrid wasn't really in your plan of things to do but he said to be spontaneous. He wanted you to make the most out of it. You want to see more of the country and its culture and what better way to do that than to hop from one city to another.
Just like yesterday, Jay arrived at your hotel lobby before you. He sat again in the same seat with the same look. Madrid was at least a two hour trip so the both of you quickly headed out, not wanting to waste time.
"So how long is your stay here?" You asked him while taking the long bus ride. "A week. My flight leaves on Saturday" he said. Just like you, Jay didn't plan to go to Madrid. He was supposed to go later into his trip but some things have changed and he just decided to just go ahead with it.
He didn't really understand why he would go all the way and mix up all his plans and tire himself out for this girl he just met, but he was glad that he did. He loved your company, and to think that he would then have to spend the rest of his trip without someone he could tell jokes and stories with didn't seem as exciting as he first hopped on the plane to Barcelona.
"You've said that this wasn't your first trip right?" You began to ask him to start a conversation. He hummed and nodded in response. "Out of all of them? What was your favorite?" He gave it short thought, slightly tilting his head to think of an answer. "I'm not sure. They were all special"
"Come on you have to have one favorite"
"Not really, they're all different in their own way I guess, so I can't really choose"
"Alright, I’ll let you sit that one out"
Jay began a new conversation. "My turn. Tell me something about you."
"Well...I like watching dramas," You said in an obvious tone. "Except that. I knew that already. Tell me something I don't know " He was sitting beside you. You had the window seat and he had the altar. He was staring down at you while you took your time to think of something while looking out the window.
"I've never had a relationship" You answered him. He gave you a questionable smirk but replied quickly. "I won't judge. Why, though? Too busy with school?"
You shook your head to say no. "It's not that. I just haven't really gotten the timing of it" You saw that he was confused, he tilted his head slightly to show it.
"I was never one for a relationship. They come around but they don't stay for a while before something even happens. I don't know. I just start pushing them away because of this irrational fear I have of commitment."
"So you're afraid?"
"You could call it that"
It was silent for a while. You thought that you had brought the mood down until he started talking again. "I used to be afraid." You looked up at him as he began his story.
"Before I had my first partner, I wouldn't know how to act around everyone if I was in a relationship and that scared me. When I got into my first relationship, I immediately thought, 'what was I so afraid of?'. Everything just felt so nice that I never even realized that I was afraid in the first place"
"Then what happened?" Curiously you asked.
"We had our differences. I found out that they have been seeing my roommate behind my back. Got to my dorm to fetch something and I got the biggest shock of my life"
"If you're saying this so I won't be scared anymore then you're not helping"
"I'm saying this, to tell you that being afraid is totally understandable. But you gotta let go of your fear sometimes and just go with it. It could be some of the best years of your life. If worse comes to show then better people will come along the way. Yeah it sucked that I got cheated on, but I realized that I probably saved myself from that one and gave myself a chance to meet someone else. You just have to let fate bring the both of you together"
___
Time flew by too quickly, much to your dismay. Madrid was lovely. You got the chance to stroll around Retiro Park and Royal Palace and you had to thank Jay a couple of times to thank him for making you come.
Sadly, time really wasn't your best friend as it was time to go back to Barcelona to pack your bags so you could go to the airport and get back home. Jay was the sweetest, you told him that he didn't have to take you to the airport but he insisted despite it taking the both of you another two hours to get to your hotel room.
He decided to wait outside your hotel room while you finished gathering your things out of respect for your personal space. When you were done, he didn't hesitate to grab your luggage to help you.
It was 9PM and you had two hours to spare before your flight leaves. The taxi ride was quiet as Jay sat sat next to you. There was a small space in the middle and no one dared say a word. It wasn't an awkward silence though, more of a comforting but sad silence. It was deafening even when they had the radio turned on.
Deciding to break the unfathomable silence, you decided to speak.
"Thank you. Again. I know I've said it already but it wouldn't be enough after everything you've done"
"Don't worry. Anyone else would've done the same"
They wouldn't.
"And thank you too," He said. His eyes saw that your hand was lying on your lap.
After hesitating he softly gave them a squeeze. It surprised you but it didn't freak you out. You were even glad that he did that.
"This whole trip wouldn't be the same now that you're going to go" He said with a point. His left hand was softly playing with the fingers on your right hand. You gave him a sad smile.
"We could do it again soon" you replied quietly, not making eye contact, implying that you would like to see him again once you both got home.
"Are you asking me out once I get back home?" He said with an evident smug on his face. "I mean....that isn't what I meant, but if you wanted to" you replied back."I just wish I had your contact number so we could arrange something " His weak attempt of asking for your number made you laugh but it worked nonetheless. Soon you found yourself typing in your phone number on his cell.
Finally arriving at the airport, he took a hold of your luggage for you.
You honestly didn't want to do it. For just 3 days, his presence became a constant reminder to you that you wished to have him by your side when you got inside the plane..
He made you feel less scared.
"I guess you have to go, your plane is waiting for you" He gave your hand one final squeeze before handing you your luggage and letting your hand go. Your fingers felt cold and you'd want to grab a hold of him again but you thought that you shouldn't. You thought that it would be too much. "Yeah. Who's going to switch seats with the old guy beside me now?" You lightly joke.
You probably should walk away now but you weren't. You were still there standing in front of him. "It was nice to meet you Jay, you made this trip extra special" You smiled at him. Without saying anything back, he just nodded. It was your chance to turn around, walk away from him, and to leave Barcelona.
But you guess he had other ideas. To your surprise, you felt a hand grasp your wrist. It was a firm hold but not tight enough for it to hurt. It was firm enough to tell you to not go just yet.
"I've never said it before when you asked but this one was my favorite trip out of all of them."
Jay was bold when he grabbed her closer to him. You felt his lips meet your cheek. It was sudden and out of the blue and it left you frozen for a few seconds. As he slowly stepped back, you turned your head and connected your lips with his. It took a few seconds to realize what was happening but soon he slowly traveled his hand from her wrist to the tips of your face. His hand was resting on your jaw while every square inch of your body dissolved into his. You suddenly felt a sensation you never knew you were feeling. Jay’s soft hold on you made you cling on to him and made you want him closer than he already was. It wasn't intense, but it wasn't just a goodbye either. It was desperate but soft. It was quick but enough.
The both of you had to let go to catch your breath. With a sad look you had to let go. "I'll see you when you get home."
___
Your mom had bombarded you with dozens of questions after she picked you up from the airport.
She wanted to know everything, the plane ride, she wanted to know how food tastes, if I talked to any Spanish men while I was there, or if I made a friend. You were too tired and too out of focus to even answer her.
Jay was still on your mind and you couldn't find the right time to tell her that you did meet someone while you were there and that you both shared a moment before leaving. You wondered how he was doing, or where he was right now, but you couldn't ask him. Your idiocy forgot to tell you to get his phone number so you had to resort into waiting for him to get him which would still be in a few more days.
When you were transferring your photos from your camera to your laptop, your mom immediately wanted to check them out. Just when you thought you've hidden all your photos you had of your companion in a separate folder. One picture was left unknown to you.
“He’s cute” As your mom, she quickly asked who the stranger was. As if you could've hid it for that long you decided to tell her. Not that she was mad that you had spent your whole trip traveling with a man you just met surprised her but the fact that your stories made it seem like you've known him for so long. “Uhm…I met him on the plane. He happened to be traveling alone too so we just…decided to keep each other company.”
Suddenly, you remembered everything he made you feel. For 3 days, he made you feel like you could trust him. He gave you so many encouraging words and charming lines which immediately attracted you to his loving personality. For 3 days, Jay made you feel like the world. He gave you something you could never forget.
But why does it feel like it doesn't go the same for him?
Now, it's been weeks since your Barcelona trip and you haven't received one text or phone call from him. You had to triple check whether your cell was still on airplane mode and it wasn't. You started overthinking whether you gave him the wrong number or not and he would think that you didn't want to talk to him anymore. Worse, you started overthinking whether he really wanted to see you again.
You've thought of every possible scenario from him accidentally deleting your number or him getting his phone stolen, but none had soothed your thoughts.
Maybe you were thinking too irrationally and you were getting attached too quickly that you feel disappointed that he has not contacted you yet. It was only 3 days right? You shouldn't be so bummed about him not reaching out after weeks? But why were you? Why are you over thinking about him? Was that kiss just a spur of the moment? Were you just a matter of convenience and spontaneity?
Time flew by, much to your dismay.
A new semester has started and you haven't heard from Jay after your vacation. You've slowly started to let it go thinking that it wouldn't make a difference if you mopped around.
To say that you didn't want to go back was an understatement but you had no other choice. You were early by 5 minutes for your first class, much to your surprise. Your friends Karina and Wonyoung, were already there sitting together. They even saved you a seat as they gestured for you to come over.
"Do any of you want to go with me to the Art departments exhibit tonight? I gotta go support Sunghoon but I don't want to go alone, he'd be too busy with the gallery" Wonyoung asked as you sat down. "Isn't he a sports major?" Karina asked back.
"Yes but he had to take extra units in Art. Do you want to come?"
"Sorry Won, I promised my mom and dad to dinner later"
"Y/N?"
"Yeah sure, I guess it'd be fun"
To be honest, you've never appreciated art as much as you did before Barcelona. Jay changed your mind on it. And now every painting you see, you couldn't stop thinking about him.
By 6 in the evening you found yourself standing with Wonyoung inside the Art departments gallery. You've never realized that the students from your university were crazy talented. The paintings and sculptures were made with fine hands. All of them had their own color and technique.
When Wonyoung said that Sunghoon would be too busy with the gallery to pay attention to her, you believed her.
You shouldn't have.
Her and her boyfriend were now having the time of their lives while you were left around to wonder and see the art. The place was huge and was packed with people but you managed to weave yourself to the last part of the exhibit.
You took your time reading each description and looking at the different strokes on each painting when you've come across one painting in particular.
It was a girl that had her back facing the canvas. She was surrounded by a familiar scene. The towering buildings made the girl look small, the sun shone in the oil canvas, and the trees seemed like they were swaying even if they were made to look still. The gothic painting was a place she knew well.
Barcelona.
It's been months since her last visit but the moments you have spent there were still clear. Of course, it would be. Everything was too memorable to forget — everything and someone. Memories of the charismatic but playful man played in your head and you couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic and regretful. You've thought that after your trip to the historic and romantic city in Europe, you'd finally met someone you were willing to have a romance with. But, maybe you spoke too soon, and too ambitious even.
By this time, it would have been best if you forgot everything and just moved on. I mean, you've only known the man for less than a week, how is it so possible that he could have this much of an impact on you? You've grown too attached to him and it didn't help that he wasn't there to actually have someone attached to. Maybe it was time to finally come to terms with your expectations of you and Jay. Maybe you shouldn't be so down that he didn't text you and just be glad that you met him; even if it was only temporary.
Detaching your gaze from the painting, you've led yourself outside to gather some fresh air. You'd hate to leave Wonyoung but she seems preoccupied as you texted her that you'd be heading out and she replied that she had Sunghoon with her. After pushing away the glass doors of the gallery, you were quickly met with a gust of wind blowing in your face. It was quiet and lonely unlike inside where it was jam-packed with people. You were just slowly getting used to the serene atmosphere when you heard the gallery doors behind you open once again.
As you looked to check who it was, you started to feel that the amount of wind blowing in your face was useless. Your breath was stuck on your throat. The man who exited the halls had your mouth left hanging. You want to think you were hallucinating but you've been blinking enough to know that this was real.
Park Jongseong.
Just like you, he stood completely still; he was huffing his chest, probably catching his breath from a quick run outside. Jay saw you from the gallery balcony looking at the oil canvas that he presented for his midterms. He didn't want to believe it at first but after a few seconds, he was sure. It was you. The girl he grew fond of after his trip last summer.
"Y/N...."
You didn't know how to act. You didn't know what to say. What were you supposed to do? Run up to him? Give him a hug? Tell him you missed him? Or were you supposed to walk away? Show him how embarrassed you felt after being left hanging?
All of these questions were running through your head but one thing was clear in Jay’s head.
He had to explain.
"I didn't expect to see you here" Jaycontinued to say as he slowly walked over to the girl. His voice was hushed and gentle, but it was still enough to have your heart racing. "Same here" You managed to reply.
He was finally standing in front of you. The distance felt awkward yet so familiar. "I-uh...." Jay began to stutter. "Uhm... What are you doing here?"
"A friend asked me to come with her" He nodded in reply. "Where is she?"
"With her boyfriend"
"So you're all alone now?"
"Wouldn't be the first time"
You saw his mouth shut tight.
It was quiet. No one spoke. You've gotten used to silence whenever you were with Jay during your time in Barcelona, but somehow this felt different. It wasn't a comfortable silence; it felt like someone wanted to fill the void with words.
"I'm sorry" You heard him say. You never prepared yourself to have this talk; nonetheless right at this moment. "I had no other excuse for not calling you other than I was afraid"
"Jay..."
"I ignored you when you must have waited for my text and I will forever regret being so scared to do it because I wasn't sure whether whatever happened between us was real or just a spur in the moment of loneliness"
You tried to avoid his deep gaze but they reeled you no matter what. "But after weeks, the feelings were still there and I didn't know how I was going to explain how it took so long to call you so I just left it at that..."
"And when I saw you, It's like someone inside of me told me that maybe leaving it all in Barcelona wasn't our last chance.That maybe, just maybe, I could make this right; stop being so afraid of what I feel."
"Where are you going with this Jay?"
He stepped closer.
"I made a mistake. I didn't call because I was afraid and thinking that all of it was just because I felt lonely. But I don't want to be that Jay anymore. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I want to be the Jay that would be there for you, even outside of Barcelona. I don't know if our meeting was just a coincidence or a twist of fate, but I'll take them any day because I had the greatest opportunity of meeting you again."
And it was like, at that moment, you forgot all the words and have lost the ability to speak because right after he said that you couldn't help but stare at him.
"That is...if you want to of course...I don't want to force you or-"
"Jay.."
He stopped talking and looked at you.
“What you did really hurt me, you know that right?” You started off. “I know. And I don’t want to make any excuses. I would do anything for your forgiveness.”
You took a deep breath.
“Everything is just so sudden. One minute you disappear from the face of the earth and now you’re in front of me, asking me for a chance…Do you know how insane this sounds?”
He gulped and looked down on his feet.
“But I would be a fool to let you get away another time.”
“So what you’re saying is-”
“Coincidence. Fate. Whatever it is, I wouldn’t be so afraid to try things with you.”
#leehslvr_writes#enhypen fluff#enhypen fanfic#enhypen fic#enhypen au#enhypen x reader#enhypen jay#park jongseong#jay x reader#enhypen angst#enhypen one shots#kpop#lee heeseung#yang jungwon#sim jaeyun#jakjake sim#jake sim#park sunghoon#kim sunoo#nishimura riki
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It Doesn't Matter - Part III - Nico Hischier x ofc
Gif from offside-the-lines
Title: It Doesn’t Matter - Part III
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Playlist
Author: Tory / @tkwrites
Relationship: Nico Hischier x Original female character
Summary: Though they’ve finally confessed their feelings for one another, a 7 day road trip stands between Nico and Lena finally beginning their relationship. When Lena sends a photo of herself Nico never expected to receive, it springboards them into new territory. Upon arriving home, he and Lena are finally able to be together in ways they’ve only dreamed of.
Warnings: Lots of fluff, followed by lots of smut (18+ only): oral (f and m receiving), unprotected p in v (wrap it up unless you’re in a consenting relationship!), talks of feeling singled out and a really dick ex-boyfriend.
Word count: 13,400
Comments: Phew! We made it. Just barely.
I gave myself a deadline for this series, liking the idea that I’d publish each installment on the last day of the the month, and I’m really proud that I was able to stick to that goal.
This piece is LONG, so strap in. It was so much fun to write and string together, though. Writing Nico and Lena finally getting together has been such a joy for me. I really hope you enjoy it, too! If there's anything you'd like to see in their universe, please let me know!
If you do enjoy it, please consider letting me know by commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask. Your encouragement and comments truly inspire me to keep writing.
It Doesn’t Matter - Part III
Two days into the road trip, Nico was feeling restless and unsure. He wanted to call Lena and tell her he missed her. He wanted to talk to her about everything and nothing. Hear about her day in class and tell her about practice. Now that they’d crossed that initial physical barrier, he wanted to have phone sex and listen to her getting herself off. He wanted… he wanted so many things, but he wasn’t really sure where they stood. Could he just call her up and initiate a conversation that spanned both their friendship and their newfound sexual connection? Even when they were just friends and roommates, he hardly ever called her to just say hi. That felt too much like something he would do if they were dating, and he couldn't take the disappointment that came with not having that part be true.
Except maybe now it was true?
Staring at her contact photo, he wondered how people did this.
For Lena’s part, she was pacing the apartment, wondering if she should go through with it. Earlier in the day, in a fit of missing Nico so much it ached, she put on the lingerie set she bought the first week she’d moved in, set up her phone and took some photos to send to him. There was one in particular she liked, and she even had it queued up in a message. Now that she had someone to wear it for, and it, amazingly, turned out to be the guy she’d always hoped it would be, she couldn’t get the idea of wearing it for him out of her mind. And why wait until he was home when she could send a picture now?
He was off this afternoon, which meant he was likely napping. She could send it during the game, but there was more of a chance someone else might see it if she did that. And this was for his eyes only.
She thought about prefacing it with a Don’t open this until you’re alone, message, but wouldn’t that ruin the surprise?
Finally deciding it’d be better to send it now, while he was more likely to be alone than after the game, she hit the blue arrow. The whooshing sound let her know it was delivered, and her heart immediately jumped into her throat.
It was too late to take back now, and trying to explain her reasoning over text seemed impossible. She’d just have to wait for him to respond.
Walking to her easel, she decided she needed to distract herself until he did. If she didn’t, she knew she would obsess powerfully and end up sending him something written from pure anxiety, and those messages never turned out well. For all she knew, he could be asleep and wouldn’t see it for another few hours.
The thing was that Lena had never done this before. She'd never sent a picture of herself that hadn't been requested first, and she’d never wanted to.
Past boyfriends wanted to ‘see her when they were apart,’ but that really translated to ‘I want something to show off to my friends.’ She'd been shocked to find Milo showing one of his buddies a picture she’d sent him while they were at a party. Together. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. The picture showed Lena in nothing but her underwear, one arm wrapped around her chest for some semblance of modesty when she didn’t really want to send the picture in the first place. The fact that he had it pulled up and was showing it off so casually made her feel objectified and cheap.
That night, she did the sneakiest thing she'd ever done in a relationship and used his sleeping face to unlock his phone so she could delete all the pictures she'd sent him before breaking up with him the next morning. She even told him what she did. He complained that she was an uptight bitch who didn’t understand he was showing her off, and shouldn’t she be flattered.
Nico would never do something like that. She knew him too well. He would know and had told her that photos like that were for the recipient only and shouldn’t be shared with anyone else. He told her once that one of the guys on the Mooseheads tried to show him a picture of his girlfriend, and the rest of the boys teased him for turning away.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” he complained to Lena later that day, “I don’t want to see that.” It was one of the first times she knew he was different, and her rule about not dating hockey players was going to be broken.
It was because of that. Because she knew he wouldn’t show anyone else, and because she had the suspicion he would never ask for something like this that she’d sent it.
The whole time she’d known him, Nico had been the nicest cute boy on the team. Always easy going and quick with a smile, even when he didn't understand what anyone was saying. He never treated her like a piece of meat like some of the guys did, always seeing and celebrating her humanity before anything else. He was genuinely interested in her art, and not just as a means of getting into her pants.
When she met him, and they began hanging out with mutual friends, she remembered thinking, I'm going to tell people I met the love of my life in my senior year.
Setting her phone face down on the end table, she picked up her palette and brush and turned her focus to the mountain sunset she’d been working on all week.
When Nico's phone buzzed with a text from Lena, he opened it right away, anxious to hear from her. He didn't think anything of the preview that told him it was a photo. She often sent memes or funny photos of Cookie around the apartment or progress on her latest painting.
Had he thought this might be anything close to possibility, he would have opened it in the bathroom.
An embarrassing noise, overflowing with longing, crawled up his throat.
Jonas shot him a confused look, and Nico had to act like everything was normal. Like he wasn’t taken completely off guard. Like he didn’t have a hard on in their hotel room. Like Lena hadn’t just sent him a picture of herself in pink lingerie, winking cheekily at the camera.
He wanted to bury his head in a pillow and groan. He wanted to call her and tell her how beautiful she was. He wanted to detail each and every way he was going to make her come when he got home.
“I’m —” Nico coughed, “I’m gonna go on a walk,” he told Jonas, bolting out of bed and into the hallway. Maybe this was worse. Now, he had a boner in public. He needed a place where he could talk to her alone.
There was a conference room the coaches were using this morning, wasn’t there? He ran down the hall and found the room empty and blissfully unlocked.
The whole wall facing the hallway was glass, but it’s not like he was going to do anything indecent.
The call went to voicemail.
Frowning, Nico pulled the phone away from his ear. Certainly, in the time it took him to run down the hall, she hadn’t gone away from her phone. And she didn’t send that thinking he wouldn’t respond, right? That would be crazy. No woman would send a picture of herself like that if she didn’t want a response.
The device buzzed in his hand, and he felt a sigh let go in his chest. “Hey,” he greeted, bringing it back to his ear.
“I’m sorry,” she said, sounding a little breathless, “I didn’t want to drop my palette all over your living room.”
“Thanks,” he said, laughter in his tone. He was amazed she could just go back to painting after sending a message like that. He’d be a nervous wreck.
The awkwardness that passed over the phone line between them made Lena’s heart race with indecision. How was she supposed to broach this subject? Did you get the photo I sent? Do you want to talk about it? Are you calling me because it had the desired affect?
Finally, she decided to go into neutral territory, “so, how are you?”
How was he supposed to answer that question?
“I got your message,” he said, wincing at the accusing tone in his voice. He didn’t even answer her question.
“Did you…” she felt suddenly self-conscious, “I mean, did you like it?”
Did she think he was blind? “Yeah, I wouldn’t have minded some warning, though,” he admitted. The sound that had come out of his mouth when he opened it rang in his head, and he felt himself flush out of embarrassment.
“Sorry,” she said, voice sheepish. “I was debating about telling you to open it alone, but I just kind of freaked out and sent it.”
Laughter rumbled from his chest, “you don’t need to apologize. I really liked it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I don’t know a man alive who wouldn’t like getting a picture like that from the woman he loves.”
The casual way he said he loved her made her heart pitter-patter.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Lena,” he said.
She liked that he used the word seen. Not the most beautiful woman he’d ever met, the most beautiful he’d ever seen. Heat raced into her cheeks, “really?”
“Yes.” It almost came out a groan. Just thinking about it got him worked up, but now that they were on the phone, he didn’t think it was the time to broach phone sex. Maybe that was her intention in sending it, but their conversation was too sweet and awkward to steer in that direction. He didn’t want to ruin it, or for her to think he only wanted her physically. He wanted every part of her.
His simple answer turned her insides to goo.
She sniffed, and panic spiked in his chest. “Are you crying?”
“A little.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“Nothings wrong,” her voice was wobbly, “I just…I can’t really believe this is my life, you know?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I spent six years pining after you, thinking you didn’t like me, and now you’re telling me I’m the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. It almost doesn’t feel real.”
“Yeah,” he swung his legs up onto the sofa under the windows and lay back. “The whole time we were kissing, I kept thinking I needed to pinch myself.”
She giggled, knowing the feeling all too well.
“I wish I told you sooner,” he said quietly.
“Tell me about it,” she groaned.
He knew he would beat himself up about this, and his siblings would hold how they were right about Lena over his head for the rest of time.
“I can’t believe you sent me a picture of yourself in lingerie,” he said, voice full of wonder and longing. “I don’t think I ever even let myself imagine that.” The reality of it was too much. It made their relationship more tangible somehow.
“I missed you, and I just kept thinking about how I finally had someone to wear it for other than myself, and I don’t know, I just…I wanted you to see it.”
Her admission made his insides feel gooier than a raclette. “I miss you too,” he said, glad he hadn't steered the conversation to sex. That would come, he knew, but he was glad for this reassurance.
They fell into a comfortable silence, and Nico pulled in a calming breath.
“How was class on Friday?”
“Good. Professor Brown really likes my sketches.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, she said I really turned a corner and understood what she was trying to get us to do.”
“That’s great.”
Posing for her would have never been in vain when it brought them together, but he was glad the art wasn’t going unnoticed by her teachers.
“She wants to put them in the student showcase for this semester.”
His mouth went dry. “What?”
“She said they’re such a cohesive story and series, she’d like to put them in the showcase. It’s a huge honor. I told her I had to talk to you before I could say yes, though.”
Mind racing, Nico wondered what on earth he’d gotten himself into.
“I…” he paused. “How —” his voice squeaked over the word, and he had to clear his throat, “how long would they be up?”
“Basically through December. I think the show goes up that first weekend.”
That was only a few weeks away.
“And they take it down when we come back after the break, so mid-January, I think.”
“I just…” he gulped, “I — what if someone recognizes me?” It was highly unlikely people who attended art shows at the New York Institute of Art would know him on site, but the thought of a fan seeing the sketches and recognizing him posing nude still made his stomach turn.
“Well, they won’t be up for sale, so no one will be taking them home but me,” she assured.
That was a relief.
“I could try to take out your tattoo, make you a little less recognizable.”
He didn’t respond.
“You don’t have to decide now. You can take time to think about it.”
The hesitation in her voice made his mind up for him. He wouldn’t be the thing holding her back. He’d figure it out.
“You should show them,” he found himself saying.
He’d have to tell the teams PR about it in case someone posted them on social media.
“Only if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. I’m…” Why hadn’t he led out with this? “I’m really proud of you.”
Her insides turned to pudding again, “thank you, Nico.”
He would figure it out. It would be fine. The most important thing was that she was getting the recognition she deserved. “We can go see it together?” he asked.
“They have a gallery opening I’ll have to attend. I’ll have to make sure, but I think it’s on the 6th.”
He pulled up the team calendar. They were, thankfully, in town and didn’t have a game that Friday. “I can come.”
“I would love that.”
“I want to be there to support you.” She supported him through so many things, he was glad he could return the favor. “I can invite some of the guys?”
“Only if you want,” she said, feeling a little taken aback. “If you’re okay with them seeing the drawings.”
“It’s nothing they haven’t seen before,” he said with a laugh, “and I want them to know how talented my girlfriend is.”
“Oh, am I your girlfriend now?” she asked, teasing.
If it were up to him, she’d be his wife before too long. “Yes. Finally.”
She giggled, “I never thought I’d actually get to call you my boyfriend.”
The excitement in her voice pulled a giddy feeling in his stomach.
Someone knocked on the window above him, and Nico sat up, startled. Jack was on the other side of the glass, exaggeratedly asking him if he wanted to go into the city.
“Hey, I’m sorry, I have to go,” he said, nodding at Jack.
“Okay, I’ll talk to you soon?” she said it like a question.
“Yeah. I’ll call you tomorrow?”
“That sounds great.”
He could hear the smile in her voice, and it filled his chest with a warm, buoyant feeling. Turning away from the window, he said, “I love you.”
“I love you too, Nico. Good luck tonight. I’ll be watching.”
Lena hung up the phone, shaking her head. She'd gone into that call expecting phone sex, and instead, she got emotional reassurance. How was he even real?
He hung up the phone, grinning.
“What’s got you all cheery? Who was on the phone?”
“Lena,” he said, slipping the device into his pocket.
“Dude, you’ve got to make a move.”
Nico smiled to himself. He’d tell Jack and the guys eventually, but for now, he was just reveling in the fact that he had, and it turned out better than he ever imagined.
The photo haunted him for the rest of the road trip. It wasn't even the picture itself, which did live in his mind rent free, and he'd jerked off to at least three times. No, the thing that really haunted him was the fact that she sent it in the first place, that she felt comfortable enough to send it, that she wanted him thinking about and desperate for her. And he was desperate, in a way he'd never experienced before.
He wanted her to feel the same way, but knew from experience that she didn't like dick pics.
In a fit of indignation after receiving one on a dating app, she'd handed him her phone to unmatch the guy as she told him, “I don’t know why men think everyone wants to see their dick. I can promise you, no one wants to see your dick. Unless a woman tells you, ‘send me a picture of your penis,’ she doesn't want to see it. Even if she sent you a picture to get off to, she doesn’t want to watch you do it unless she asks for it.”
He'd asked her what a woman did want.
“Send her a picture of your hands or your forearm while you’re doing something. Men's forearms are sexy.”
So he'd done just that. A video, actually, strategically cropped to show the flex of his forearm and wrist as he got himself off in their next hotel while her name fell from his lips over and over again. He didn't even need to look at his phone anymore. The photo was burned into his brain and etched onto his eyelids.
She responded within minutes of him sending it. That's the sexiest thing a man has ever sent me, Nico. I can't believe you remembered.
The video popped into her mind all the time. She couldn't stop thinking about his big hands and the veins winding up his forearm, standing out under his skin. She couldn’t stop hearing the hushed, breathy way he moaned her name.
It even happened in school if she let her mind wander, which resulted in her creaming her underwear and having to clench her legs together until the feeling eased off.
Touché, Mr. Hishier. Touché.
Four days later, Nico walked into the apartment, surprised to find lights still on. It was Friday night, but still, Lena usually went to bed early. No matter the day, her biological clock kept a rigid schedule.
Perhaps she left the lights on when she went to sleep, not wanting him to come home to a dark house. As he walked through the living room, however, he found her on the couch, asleep with Cookie tucked against her like a little spoon.
“Lena?” he asked, squatting in front of her.
She didn’t even stir.
“Lena,” he repeated, gently brushing a lock of hair off her forehead.
He loved this simple version of her - the peaceful, soft lines of her face and the gentle curve of her mouth. Her nose ring was slightly off center with her on her side, but it still fit on her face like it was a permanent feature that had always been there. When she showed up in Bern, having had it done just a few weeks previous, it had taken him a full half hour to realize what was different. It fit her and her personality so well, it didn’t stand out as a major change in his mind.
He hadn’t thought it was possible he could think about kissing her more than he already did.
“Nico?” she asked in the most adorable sleepy voice he’d ever heard. The visions he had of waking up next to her were suddenly much more real and much sweeter than he originally imagined.
“What are you doing out here, hase?”
Her eyes finally fluttered open, and her stomach clenched when they met his. His hair had flopped into his eyes, but she could still clearly see the soft care in them. He was in a gray Devils hoodie that looked supremely soft.
Cookie stretched, yawned, and slinked out from under her arm as she reached forward to trace her fingers through his hair, pushing it back. “You’re so handsome, Nico.”
The dimple in his left cheek deepened with his bashful smile. He wasn’t used to her complimenting him so openly. “Danke, hase. What are you doing out here?”
“Waiting up for you,” she said with a chagrined smile, “or trying to at least.”
“Lets get you to bed,” he said, standing before he worked an arm under her legs, the other under her shoulders, and lifted her off the couch.
Lena snuggled into him with a contented little noise. She hadn't been carried like this since she was a little kid.
He lay her on her bed, then pulled the covers out from under her body before settling them over her.
“Will you stay?” she asked, quietly.
Something behind his sternum fractured a little. “Natürlich,” he murmured, brushing a kiss over her hair. “Let me go get ready, ja?”
She nodded.
Nico thought for sure she would be asleep when he got back after washing his face and changing into some pajama pants, but though she was still in the same position he left her in, her eyes were open and she gave him an adorably sleepy smile.
In some sort of dream came true, he walked around the bed to slip in behind her.
Except Cookie was laying there, pressed against her back, blinking at him slowly as if to ask why Nico was there and what he thought he was about to do.
“Uh,” he began, not sure what to do.
“Just move him over here.”
So Nico took the cat around the middle and lifted him over Lena. He squirmed and made a grumbling noise but didn’t swipe. Before he could jump off the bed in a fit of indignation, Lena gathered him against her chest and kissed his head.
Cookie grumbled again. It was apparently all for show, though, because he settled in her arms almost at once and began purring and nuzzling her chin.
Now that that was settled, he lifted the covers and slid under them.
Lena felt a contented little sigh escape her as he fitted his body against hers. The oxymoron that was Nico Hischier hit her again. He was big and strong, but he was so gentle and warm as he wrapped his arm around her waist over the blanket. She felt cocooned and protected.
Cookie turned around and nuzzled his head under Nico’s hand. Chuckling, Nico scratched behind his ears and heard the purring start up again.
“I’m glad you're home,” Lena said in that slow way people do while they’re falling asleep.
“Me too,” he responded, tucking his nose into her hair and settling in for the night.
Though he’d lived the past week, it still felt a little like he didn’t know how he ended up here, or like he should be dreaming. Yes, he dreamed of making love to Lena, but more often than that, he dreamed of these things: of not going to bed alone, of taking care of her, and being taken care of. Not only was he not going to bed alone, she asked him to stay. He felt comfortable holding her, and she felt comfortable enough to lean against him, letting him support her. More than anything else, it felt incredible to be genuine about his feelings and to have them lead to this moment.
It was the best thing he could have asked for.
The fatigue that always came with coming home from a road trip caught up with him abruptly, and before he could think about anything else, he was falling asleep.
Lena woke before Nico did. Which wasn’t unusual. She almost always woke before anyone else in the house. No matter when she’d gone to bed, or what she’d done the day before, she was almost always up before 6:30. It’s why she’d been so shocked to find it was already 9 the morning after their portraiture session.
Her watch told her it was twenty-two minutes past six.
Sensing movement, Cookie stretched and put his face in hers, brushing his whiskers over her cheeks.
She wrinkled her nose at the tickling sensation. “Okay,” she whispered as he put his wet nose to her brow and licked with the tip of his tongue, “okay.”
Nico’s arm was still heavy around her waist, but he only stirred a little when she lifted it so she could slide out of bed.
She fed the cat, drank a glass of water, and went back to the bedroom.
Nico was still asleep, now sprawled on his back, legs and arms spread wide to take up as much room as possible.
The blankets only covered part of his naked torso. Allowing herself a moment, she admired him, the steady rise and fall of his chest, the relaxed set of his fingers, his slightly open mouth. He was a beautiful man. the fact he was in her bed, that he'd held her all night, made her feel as giddy as a school girl.
Sneaking back into bed was always harder than leaving it.
She’d just managed to tuck herself into his side, resting her head on his chest, when his arm curled around her back.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” she said quietly.
His lips smacked softly. “S’okay,” he mumbled.
“Do you have practice this morning?”
She felt him shake his head, chin tracing over the top of her hair at the movement.
“No practice and no game?” she asked, tracing a finger up the valley between his pecs through the course hair that had been getting thicker through the years. “What are you going to do with yourself?”
Tightening his arm around her, he nudged Lena on top. She went willingly, draping herself over him.
“Can think of a few things.” His voice was low and sleepy, and when she looked into his face, she found his eyes were still closed.
Wonder at how comfortable they were filled her. Of course they were — they’d known each other for more than half a decade. But all these milestones, like waking up in the same bed, were new. She’d never experienced this in a relationship before. There were no nerves eating at her stomach, and no worries about how she looked in the morning plaguing her. He’d seen her in much worse morning states before and never said a thing. It was just Nico, comfortable as always.
Lying her head on the front of his shoulder, she listened to the steady beat of his heart and the strong rhythm of his breathing.
That music was lulling her back to sleep when his hand slid up her back, under her sleep shirt. She didn’t know if that part was intentional or not. She supposed it didn’t matter. She still savored the feel of his calloused fingers.
“Your skin is so soft,” he mumbled as his fingers splayed wide over her spine.
“So is yours,” she said, adjusting a bit so she could tuck her nose into the base of his neck. He smelled the same as usual, soap and sweat, and that something cedar-y, plus a musky smell she somehow knew only came with sleep.
He chuckled and said something in German.
“Come again?” she asked, lifting her head.
One half of his mouth lifted in a smile, dimpling his cheek, but he didn’t offer any other explanation.
Shaking her head, Lena rested her ear against his shoulder again, sighing when his fingers traced lazily up and down her spine.
Nico couldn’t believe this was his life. Waking up next to Lena was so good. Having her comfortable weight on top of him on a lazy morning? It was such a dream. Even the very fact that he got to touch her like this now felt like a miracle.
Before he could think it over, his sleepy brain was running his mouth, “I can’t…”
“You can’t?” she repeated. Her other hand came up to trace the straight line of his collar bone.
“I can’t believe I get to touch you like this,” he said.
She smiled and turned her face just enough to press her lips to his skin. It sent an explosion of fizzy, giddy bubbles racing through his stomach.
“I should have told you sooner.”
“Me too.”
Each of them had said some variation of these same sentences each time they’d talked on the phone over the past five days.
“But we’re here now,” she said, fingers trailing over the round musculature of his shoulder and back. She felt a little amazed that she could touch him, too. She’d wanted to for so long, and now, she could. There was nothing holding her back. It felt a little like she’d dropped into a dream.
He took in a deep breath, and she loved feeling his muscles move and shift beneath her.
“What do you have today?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” he repeated.
“Nothing but you,” she said, pushing herself up so she could look into his face.
The smile he gave her was lazy and tired, but it still sent butterflies into flight in her stomach.
Because she could, because that’s where they were now, she leaned down and kissed him.
His other hand came up to cradle the back of her head.
She was kissing him. In the morning. After sleeping next to her all night. Feeling his brain come to life while her sweet mouth was on his? There was nothing better. Nico wouldn't mind waking up like this every morning.
They spent a long while in a sweet, lazy exploration of each other.
Lena worked one of her hands into his hair as she tipped to the left to deepen the kiss.
When Nico caught her tongue, sucking gently, a soft moan fell from her mouth into his. She'd never had someone do that before, and now couldn't imagine kissing without it.
“I love that sound,” he mumbled, lips whispering over hers.
She hmm’d and silenced him again with her mouth.
Though they still remained soft, their kisses grew more urgent, as did Nico’s growing erection, which pressed insistently against her thigh.
The deep desire purring in her belly shifted into a higher gear.
“Can I use my mouth on you?”
She'd been thinking about it for so long, imagining the pleasured noises she could pull out of him. She’d thought about it so many times while he was gone, she couldn’t wait to bring it to fruition. The memory of the way he groaned her name when she was touching him had been the fuel for many lonely night sessions with her vibrator.
“Was?” he breathed, certain he hadn't heard her correctly.
“Can I use my mouth on you?” She repeated, trailing kisses along his jaw for good measure.
Fuck.
FUCK.
Was this his real life? He pinched his side and flinched from the pain. He wasn't dreaming, then. Not that he’d really thought that. When he dreamed of her going down on him, it usually started with her lips wrapping around him, not with her asking permission.
His eyes fluttered open to meet hers. “Has anyone ever said no?”
Her cheeks flushed. “I don't know. This is the first time I've asked. Every other guy I’ve been with requested before I could offer.”
“Did you think I would say no?”
“Maybe? Sometimes, I'm just not in the mood for stuff, you know? I don't want to just start in on something you're not ready for. That's not fair to you.”
He'd never had someone ask before, and the sweet thoughtfulness of it broke him open a little more to her.
“Only if you want to,” he whispered, leaning up to brush his lips over hers, “and only if I can return the favor.”
Her breath hitched, and her wide eyes darted to his.
“I’ve been thinking about how you taste since last week,” he confessed, voice gone gravely with the memory of cleaning her release off his fingers.
“Nico,” she whispered as heat pooled between her legs.
“When you sent that picture, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I wanted to do to you.”
“Oh yeah?”
He nodded, hands sliding up her sides. Her shirt bunched atop his wrists.
She leaned down so her lips were a breath away from his ear, “and what do you want to do to me?”
Though she had him practically panting, his voice somehow still came out a low tambour. “I want to lick you over that lace before I take it off and make you come on my tongue.”
“Oh my god,” she whispered, core throbbing at the mere thought of it. “I…”
If someone told her, even just five days ago, that Nico Hischier had such a dirty mouth, Lena wouldn’t have believed them. He was usually so polite. She’d never even imagined him saying something like that.
She liked this filthy-mouthed side of him she’d never seen before. Why had she waited so damn long to tell him?
Rolling them onto their sides, he pressed his lips to her neck, unable to keep his mouth off of her anymore.
“Do you want me —” her voice dropped into a moan as he pushed her onto her back, licking and sucking along the column of her throat.
“Yes,” he growled into her skin, “so damn much.”
“Do you want me to put it on?” she finally managed to ask, gasping the words out before he could steal her breath again.
Lifting his head, his brown eyes met hers. He had that same wide open, loving look in them. “Put what on?”
Why would she put anything on? He was far more interested in shedding her clothes.
“The lingerie.”
Oh.
Well.
That was a bit different.
Lena watched his eyes go dark with lust.
“You’d do that?” he whispered, touched and incredibly turned on.
Nodding, she bit her lip before deciding she could just blurt it out, “I want you to do what you wanted to, and I want to see your reaction.”
Now that he’d brought up the idea of licking her over her underwear which, what the hell, sounded so hot she could hardly stand it, she needed to feel it. She wanted THAT to be her first experience with his mouth.
Nico was such an excellent kisser, she knew he would be good at oral. Plus, the idea of wrapping her fingers in his hair as he went down on her? That fantasy had been in regular rotation for years.
He paused, seemingly caught between saying yes and just continuing as they were.
Maybe he needed a little more incentive. “What if I put it on to suck you off?” she asked, voice seductive and low in his ear.
With a soft groan, he buried his face in her neck. He had to admit, fulfilling the initial fantasy that had flooded his mind when she sent that picture was incredibly tempting, and if it included her wearing it to go down on him? That was a fantasy in and of itself. He couldn't find his voice, but he nodded all the same.
“Meet you in your room in five minutes?” she suggested.
Five minutes felt like an eternity when she was under him now, but he knew they would be worth it.
“Okay,”
A few minutes later, she knocked on his doorframe, and he spun. She had a soft looking robe on. Green with matching lace trim.
He looked almost instantly disappointed.
“I thought you might want to take it off,” she offered quietly, taking a few steps toward him.
He was still just in his pajama pants, the band of his boxers peeking above the waistband. God, why was that always so sexy?
Though he appreciated the gesture, Nico shook his head.
Stopping abruptly, Lena confirmed, “no?”
Shaking his head again, Nico managed to clear his throat and tell her, “want you to.”
Fingers trembling with excitement, she pulled one end of the tie, slipping it from the bow.
This was an exercise in a kind of vulnerability Lena had never experienced before. Yes, Nico was her best friend, and she trusted him with her life, but she’d never undressed in front of someone like this. This wasn’t just about seduction. This was about bearing herself to a man she loved and who she knew loved her. There was anticipation, but no nervousness, longing, but no worry. There was love and more love and more love under that. She’d never felt like that before.
This wasn’t some kind of strip tease meant to thrill. No, she was bearing a piece of her soul.
Nico found he was holding his breath and made himself pull air into his lungs.
Lena grasped the two sides of the robe and pulled them apart until they slipped over her shoulders. The fabric puddled to the floor around her feet.
A noise he couldn’t control flew out of his mouth. God, if he thought she looked beautiful in the picture, it was nothing compared to this. To the reality of her standing in front of him. She was real — supple skin and hazel eyes and curves he wanted to spend his entire life traversing — right down to her hands, which were splayed over the flesh of her hips as if she didn’t know what else to do with them.
She was…she was a goddess. He would worship her every day of the week. “You’re so beautiful, Lena,” he croaked.
“Thank you,” she said, a blush pinking her cheeks.
“Can you —” he had to pause to clear his throat.
She nodded encouragingly.
“Can I see the back?”
She let out a little giggle and turned for him, looking back over her shoulder.
The back of the bra was fairly standard - straps and a band that was secured by a row of hooks. The underwear were anything but. They cut high on her cheeks and perfectly accentuated the curvature of her hips. His jaw went slack.
This was a better response than she could have asked for. When she’d bought this set, one of the selling points was how good the panties made her ass look. Having Nico appreciate it to the point of open mouthed silence, sent a delighted thrill through her.
“Now you?” she said, turning back around and nodding at his pants.
Taking a deep breath, he worked his thumbs under the waistband of his pajamas. Pushing the elastic over his hips, the cotton fell down, and he stepped out of it.
Lena let out a thick sigh, eyes roaming over him, from the bob of his Adam’s apple and flex of his stomach to the dark hair trailing from his belly button into the elastic band of his briefs and the lighter hair that crept up his thighs. She'd seen all these things before as an artist, but now, she was seeing them as a woman. She didn't have to stuff down her desire or try to channel it through her pencil. She got to admire him as a woman who wanted him.
When their eyes met again, his were nervous, as if waiting for a verdict. Instead of saying anything, she took the few steps forward, slid her hand to the back of his neck, and nudged him down as she raised herself on tiptoe.
Their lips met, and that feeling of rightness filled Lena again. As her tongue swept into his waiting mouth, she pressed herself against him.
Taking the time to savor the feel of the lace beneath his palms, Nico caressed her hips slowly before sliding them around to cradle her rump.
She broke the kiss, and his hands were suddenly sliding up her body as she lowered onto her knees in front of him. “Shit, Lena,” he breathed.
A coy, sexy smile took over her face, and Lena leaned in to press her lips to his right thigh. The muscle jumped beneath his skin.
“Wait.”
Pulling back to sit on her haunches, Lena looked up at him, surprised. No man had ever told her to stop when she was setting up to suck him off.
Half of Nico’s brain was in his dick, but he needed to get this right. “I went first last time,” he said.
“It’s not like we have to take turns.”
“I know, but I want to give first.” When she didn’t move, he added on a slightly desperate, “please.”
She nodded, and he took her hands to pull her to her feet. They turned so her back was facing the bed, and he smiled indulgently at the way she had to do a little hop to sit on the mattress.
“Lay back,” he said.
She scooted up to the pillows and did as he instructed.
She was a fantasy in his dark sheets.
Biting his lip, he paused to admire her for a moment before climbing onto the bed and covering her body with his. As their mouths met in a passionate, desperate kiss, he settled between her legs. He rutted his hips into her, and she moaned. The sound made him heady, and he did it again just to hear it. If they kept that up, he would be begging her to let him fuck her right then. But he knew from fingering her the week before that she would need to be relaxed and stretched a bit before she could take him comfortably. Plus, now that she was in his bed in this lingerie, he had to bring his desires to life. And he really fucking wanted his mouth on her.
He broke from the kiss and trailed his lips over her chin and down her neck and chest. Too impatient to wait, his mouth found her pebbled nipple, teasing it through the fabric of her bra.
Lena had never felt anything so hot in her life. Her hands wove into his hair, and she moaned. “Nico. Oh my god.”
He moved on too quickly, but before she could complain, his lips were skimming over her stomach, down to the band of her panties. The memory of his confession crashed into her mind.
I want to lick you over that lace before I take it off and make you come on my tongue.
She writhed beneath him.
He nosed her mound gently, playfully, and glanced up to her face. “This is still okay?”
“Yes!” she hissed, voice pulled tight. “Please, Nico.”
Who was he to deny what she wanted?
Spreading her thighs with his hands, he leaned in and trailed his nose up the gusset of her underwear. His mouth started to water. Shit, she smelled so good.
He couldn’t hold back any longer. His tongue met the lace, licking a slow stripe up the center. He could almost taste her through the fabric. The sweet, tangy flavor he'd been craving for a week was so close.
Lena could almost feel him. There was pressure, and the heat from his breath was there, but the full stimulation of his tongue wasn't. Experiencing him like this was so hot, the anticipation of feeling him built and built until it felt like she may just explode. She let out a wanton moan of his name.
He teased her until her hips were grinding up, and her breathing was coming out in hot puffs. He teased her until he couldn’t take it anymore.
She whined when he pulled back but cut the noise off when his fingers slipped into the band of her underwear and started pulling it down. Desperate to please, she lifted her hips, allowing him to peel them from her body more easily.
He took his time, running his hands down her legs, and when the fabric was free, he brought it to his nose just to work himself up a little more. His dick twitched.
“Fuck,” she whispered. Who knew her polite, cheerful Nico had this side to him?
He almost wished he was still wearing pants so he could slip her panties into his pocket. Instead, he tossed them over the side of the bed. He’d pick them up later.
Settling between her legs again, he looked up to meet her gaze over the expanse of her body. Propped up on her elbows, her chest rose and fell, testing the limits of her bra with every inhale. He could hardly stand it.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
She blushed. How did he know exactly what to say? Could he read her thoughts or something?
“You’ll tell me if you don’t like something,” he verified, “or if you want something else?”
Only after she nodded did he get to work, plunging his face between her thighs like he’d been dreaming of for years.
A sense of deep satisfaction rumbled in his chest when she cried out.
She tasted the same, like he remembered, and better: sweet and tangy and fresh. He couldn't get enough. He licked and kissed and teased and tasted.
Falling back against his pillows, Lena moaned his name.
Her left hand found its way into his hair again, weaving the long, soft strands through her fingers. The reality of this fantasy coming true made her shake as much as his clever tongue did.
He moved to lap at her entrance, which was not where she wanted him at all.
“Nico, I –” her voice cut off with a moan as his nose nudged her clit.
Fuck it. Tightening her fingers into a fist, she tugged on his hair, guiding his mouth where she needed it.
He grunted into her as his lips surrounded her throbbing pearl, so eager for his attention.
“There,” her voice was a breathy pant that made his heart race, “right there, Nico.”
Hands tightening on her thighs, he feasted.
Her hips shifted, and even though it made it near impossible for him to breathe, he kept on, intent on his mission.
“Suck.”
It took half a second for his brain to understand her word as a command. He obeyed, and the groan she let out made him light headed. Or maybe that was the lack of oxygen. It didn’t matter. There was no way he was stopping until she was falling apart beneath him.
He thought briefly about using his fingers, but no. He wanted to make her come like this first.
His lips and tongue continued working their magic on her. Pressure built and tingled in her pelvis until it spread, shooting down her legs and making her toes curl.
“Nico,” she gasped.
When he glanced up, he found her right hand cupping her breast, thumb and forefinger teasing the peak of her nipple through the lace of her bra. The sight of it — of her adding to her own pleasure — made his eyes roll back.
The vibration of his groan lit her on fire. It was the final push she needed to tip over the edge.
She crashed in an explosion of color and sound as his eager mouth kept working, sending wave after wave of ecstasy rushing through her body.
The pleasured noises she chanted were the most beautiful music he’d ever heard. She pulsed under his mouth, and he lapped at her release. He wanted to drink from her fountain for the rest of his life.
Coming back to herself, Lena pushed him away from her core before the overstimulation could turn into pain.
The sight of him — eyes hooded with desire, mouth and chin wet with her orgasm — made her moan again as he pushed himself up.
Nico felt drunk. Drunk on her pleasure and the fact that he’d been the one to pull it out of her.
He licked his lips, pulling more of her release into his mouth before wiping his face with the back of his hand.
He lay next to her and slid his hand over her stomach, letting it come to rest comfortably cupping her breast.
Lena was flat on her back, trying to get her breathing back to a normal rhythm.
“Oh my god,” she finally managed to gasp.
“It was good?” he asked.
“Yes!” she smacked his chest when she said it. “I don’t… I mean…”
He smiled as she tried to find the words.
Turning her head, she met his gaze. “I never knew you were so nasty.”
“I wasn’t mean,” he defended, hurt that she was accusing him.
“No, like kinky.”
He hated this part of speaking English. Why did so many words have so many different meanings that they already had words for?
“It’s kinky that I like the way you smell and taste?”
“I’ve never — I mean no one has ever…”
“It was my first time with you,” he said, nuzzling his nose into her neck. “I wanted to savor it.”
“Speaking of, I think it’s your turn,” she said coyly, pressing a hand to his shoulder. She shoved, and he flopped onto his back without protest.
She climbed over him, straddling his torso.
Finally feeling the weight of her on top of him was heaven. She was tethering him down to earth.
Her hot wetness against his skin made him twitch. He couldn't wait to bury himself inside her. Just imagining how tight and wet she'd feel around him made him moan.
“I haven't even touched you yet,” she smirked.
“I want you so bad.” The words slipped out in German. He started to translate, but she cut him off.
“I got the idea,” she said seductively as she leaned down to kiss him. She could taste herself on his lips and tongue as she did her best to work him up with her mouth alone.
The way he moaned sent a bolt of desire through her. Unable to stop herself, she rutted her hips against the hard wall of his stomach.
He choked out a curse, head tipping back into the pillows.
Taking advantage, she connected her mouth to his throat, feeling his Adams apple move under her lips as he swallowed hard.
“Lena.”
She moved to the other side of his neck.
His hands slipped to her hips, desperate to touch her.
As she slid down his body, her core passed over his, causing gentle pressure on his cock through the confining material of his boxers. His hips thrust up, desperate for more.
Bracing on his chest, Lena pushed herself up and ground her hips down on his.
Lashes fluttering, his eyes rolled back, and he gripped her hips with more ferocity.
She’d never had this kind of power over a man before. It made her heady with the want to tease him until he begged.
“Lena,” he groaned, almost as if in pain.
“Hmm?”
“I’m —” he gasped as she reached around, unclasped her bra, and took it off. She threw it across the room.
“I’m gonna come if you keep doing that,” he warned as she rocked against him.
“Is that so bad?” she asked, her voice thrown into mock innocence.
“I — fuck.” She was riling him up and he loved it. “Want to feel your mouth,” he finally managed to say.
“What if I want to hear you beg?”
His eyes shot open, pupils blown wide. Her tone was playful, as were her eyes, and mirth dripped from her smile. He knew if he said he didn’t like it, she’d stop right away. Except, with her on top of him, he found he was ready to do whatever she wanted.
“Lena.”
“Hmm?”
“Fuck, Lena. Please.” If she wanted him to beg, he’d beg.
“Please what?” she asked innocently, lowering her mouth over his nipple. He twitched against her as her tongue circled the small peak before flicking over the top of it.
His breath practically huffed out of his lungs.
“I want your mouth,” he groaned. “Please.”
“You do have very good manners,” she complimented, pushing herself up again.
They were going to go out the window if she didn't do something soon. “Please.”
If he didn’t know her sliding further down his body likely meant he would feel her mouth soon, he would have whined at the loss of stimulation.
Once she found herself over his legs, Lena leaned down to kiss that trail of dark hair that wound its way down the center of his abs and dipped into the waistband of his boxer briefs.
“Can I take these off?” she asked as her fingers tucked under the elastic.
“Please,” bracing on his heels, he thrust his hips up so she could remove them, breathing a sigh of relief when his cock sprung free of the confining material.
“How do you like it?” she asked, hands caressing up his thighs.
He gulped. “I —”
“Or do you just want me to start, and you can tell me if you don’t like something?”
He nodded vigorously. The thing he wanted most was for her to just put her mouth on him. He’d dreamed of it so many times, and now, here she was, leaning over him.
The guttural groan that tore from his chest as Lena wrapped her lips around the head of his cock surprised them both. Her eyes shot up to look at his face, making sure he wasn’t in pain. His eyes were glued to her, wide with adoration and lust. The sight of her with her lips around him — he could die a happy man.
“You feel so good,” he groaned.
She loved that when he got worked up, his accent thickened.
One of her hands was braced on his thigh, while the other swept up to cradle his balls, stroking the sensitive skin with her thumb.
The only thing Nico could do was chant her name. Every time he tried to say something else, she did something new, hollowing her cheeks, or sensuously licking the tip, or moving her mouth to the underside of his cock so her open lips traced the vein there, the tip of her tongue whispering between them.
When her lips wrapped around him again, he was gone. “Gonna –-” he only managed to get that one word out before he was exploding into her hot, heavenly mouth.
She squeaked in surprise but relished sucking his release off and feeling it slide down her throat.
She lay beside him, watching Nico gasping in breaths, contented to have brought out this side of him.
“Holy shit,” he said.
“It was good?” she asked, repeating his earlier question and trying not to giggle.
Turning his head, he glanced at her, one eyebrow raised.
Before either of them could respond, her stomach grumbled loudly.
Her eyes widened, and her hand flew to cover it, “Sorry, I’ve usually eaten by this time.”
“You don't need to apologize,” he said, laughing.
“Why aren’t you all grumbly?” she asked.
“I…ate a protein bar while you were getting changed,” he admitted.
“You – what? And you didn't even think to share?” she demanded, playfully shoving away from him. “Some boyfriend you are.”
He smiled at being called her boyfriend, even through the insult.
“Sharing your food is like boyfriend 101.”
“I did order breakfast,” he offered.
“When?”
“Last night. It should be here in,” he glanced at the clock on his nightstand, “fifteen minutes. I kind of forgot how early you wake up.”
“Nico Hischier,” she said, voice full of teasing admonition as she crawled over him, “did you plan to seduce me this morning?”
He grinned, and she laughed as he pulled her down. She bounced on his chest. “Maybe I did. Aren't you glad I at least planned ahead?”
Pulling back to look into his face, her smile was soft and full of love. “Yes,” she said, leaning down to kiss him. “Yes, I am.”
While waiting for breakfast to arrive, they made out, slowly and passionately, hands tracing each others bodies with a reverent tenderness Lena had always dreamed of.
He was starting to stiffen up against her thigh again. It seemed impossible he could be nearly ready to go so soon after coming. He really did have the body of a God.
His phone buzzed on the nightstand, and he pulled away reluctantly.
“That’s breakfast,” he said.
“Guess we should go get it,” she said, though she didn’t make any moves to get off of him.
“I’ll go,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to her pouty, over-kissed mouth, “you stay here.”
She watched as he threw on a new pair of boxers, some joggers, and a t-shirt before strolling out of the apartment.
“Have you seen my underwear?” she asked when he came back through the door, a bag from her favorite bagel shop in one hand, and two coffees in a carrier in the other.
“Hu?” he asked, slipping the coffees onto the table.
“My underwear,” she said. “I couldn’t find them in your room.”
“Weird,” he said, hoping she wouldn’t pick up on the hot flush of his cheeks.
“Do you have them?” she asked. When all he responded with was a non-committal grunt, she surmised, “they’re in your pocket, aren’t they?”
He couldn’t keep the little smile off of his face.
She rolled her eyes and took the iced coffee. “It’s a good thing I love you.”
His smile grew brighter, and he handed her her sandwich.
“No one’s ever made me feel like you do, Nico.”
He’d just been telling her he felt like he won the lottery, and she wanted to assure him she felt the same.
“Like no ones made you come?” he asked, licking ketchup off his thumb.
“No. Well, I mean, yes. You’re better because you listen —”
A smug smile took over his face.
“I mean that you accept me. Like all of me. That hadn’t really happened in my life before you.”
His brows shot up.
“I don’t think my family really knew what to do with me,” she said, picking up the other half of her ham and egg sandwich.
“What do you mean?”
“They’re all sporty, you know, and I’m…not. I’ve always been this creative free spirit, and I think my parents were at a bit of a loss when I was so bad at skating and said I wanted to take drawing lessons instead.”
“They love your art, though.” Nico had met her parents, and both of them seemed extremely proud of her.
“They’re better now, but when I was in primary school, and even up to the point that you came in, it always felt a bit like they resented that I had these talents.”
“Resented?” he asked.
“Yeah, like they wished I was more like the rest of the family.”
His brows drew together.
“And don’t get me started on the boys on the team.”
“Everyone really liked you. I think every guy on the team had a crush on you.” All the more reason to feel contented he had her now.
“Listen, you don’t get it.”
“Don’t I?”
“No. You were always good at sport and popular, right?”
He made a non-commital noise. Popularity in North America was very different from how he grew up. There was much more comparison than he ever experienced.
“I was always the artsy girl in a place that worships sports.”
“But you came to sports?”
“Yeah,” one of her shoulders shrugged up, “I came to support my friends, but they hardly ever came to things to support me. I remember Robbie told me once, ‘I don’t have enough culture for that,’ when I invited him to an art show I had some pieces in.”
Robbie had been their goalie, who had brought Lena into the friend group. He and Jessica were now married and had several children.
Nico’s heart broke a little.
“And then you came in and not only did you not treat me like the only thing I was good for was being looked at, you knew some things about art, and you actually talked to me about it.”
In fact, She still vividly remembered her first encounter with Nico.
She’d been sitting on the refreshments counter at the rink, drawing in her ever-present sketchbook while Jessica puttered around the tiny kitchen. He’d walked up to her, asked if he could see, and said, “that’s very good,” when she showed him.
She’d blushed and thanked him, and he asked where she learned to draw.
Jessica had interjected then, bragging about Lena’s painting skills, and telling him he should come see them at the school the next time he was there.
He’d then given Lena his trademark dimpled smile and said he would.
She was used to this. Boys said this all the time, but then would never actually show.
Lo and behold, three days later, she was shocked to find Nico outside the art classroom after school, studying one of her paintings Mr. Jacobsen had hung in the hallway.
“Hey Nico.”
He startled a little, “hi, Lena. You did this, right?”
She nodded.
“It’s very good. I like the shape,” he said, then frowned, shaking his head slightly, “not the shape. The,” he gestured with his hands as if dividing the three sections of the painting, the sky, forrest and field. “What’s the word for this?” he asked, repeating the gesture.
“The composition?” she guessed.
“Yes, the composition,” he said, relieved that she understood what he was trying to say. “I like that the sky is bigger. It feels like that here.”
“Thank you.” It was exactly what she’d been aiming for.
“You’re very talented,” he said, turning to look at her. He met her eyes and smiled.
“Thank you,” she said again, wishing she had some other way to respond to his compliments. She didn’t have much experience with the nice, cute boy in school talking to her about art and pulling out words like composition and knowing how to use them properly in a sentence.
It had started their friendship. It was amazing how that simple interaction of him following through made her feel. Not only seen in so many ways, but also that it kicked the budding crush she had on him into hyperdrive. She’d never met another man like him.
Pink splotches rose high on his cheeks, and he gave her a chagrined smile.
“What?” she asked, laughing.
“I didn’t know much about art,” he said. “I went home and looked it up so I could talk to you about it.”
His confession made her heart burst, “really?”
He nodded, “you were passionate about it, and I wanted to know you, so I had to learn so we could talk.”
“Nico, I can’t believe you did that for me.”
He blushed and smiled some more.
“How are you even real?” she asked, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair.
It called up memories of not that long ago when she had her fingers tangled in his hair for a different reason. “Real?” he asked.
“You’re like a dream,” she said, hand slipping to cup his jaw. “Kind and thoughtful and dedicated, and handsome to boot. It’s like you’re too perfect to be real.”
He laughed, loud and open. He couldn’t think of anyone further from perfect than himself.
After their meal and brushing their teeth, Nico spent some more time between her legs, eating a second and third breakfast, using his beautiful hands to aid in bringing her to a crest twice more.
“Fuck,” she breathed as he lay next to her, “how did you get so good at that?”
He laughed, wiping his face with his hand. “I don’t know. I listen.”
“You listen?” she repeated.
“Yeah, you make this little ‘uh,’” he imitated a high pitched grunt, “noise when you feel good, so I do whatever I just did again when you make it.”
Rolling onto her side, she looked at him, “I do?”
He nodded.
“When did you notice that?”
“Last week. You told me what to do and then made that noise when I did it. So I tired it again,” he said with a shrug and a secret little smile.
She knew Nico was used to noticing things other people didn’t. It’s what made him a good hockey player. He noticed and noted things about players and teams and used them to put together his best game possible. He even noticed things about her - like the fact that she liked pistachio flavored things, and liked to paint on the right side of the living room and that she liked a margarita. She couldn't remember ever telling him these things, but he had pistachio creamer in his fridge, moved the living room furniture around, and brought her a margarita whenever they went out together.
“You’re something else, Nico Hischier,” Lena said, bringing her hand up to the side of his face.
He smiled, nuzzling his cheek into her palm.
“What do you want?” he asked. He wanted her, but if she wanted more foreplay, he would give it to her. He just wanted her to be happy.
Scooting closer, she slung a leg over his hip. She held eye contact as she said, “I want you to make love to me, Nico.”
His hand slid onto her thigh, up to her hip, and over the curve of her waist in a reverent exploration. “How do you want it? Like, what position?” he asked.
“Missionary,” she said, her fingers tracing over his collar bone and onto his chest. “I want to see you.”
It struck him as a tender thing for her to request, and he was glad for it. He wanted to see her, too. They could try more intense positions later. For now, that was how it needed to be.
“Where are you going?” she asked when he rolled away from her.
He glanced back at her with a cheeky smile. “Eager,” he teased with a lingering scan of her body as he reached into the drawer of his bedside table.
She snorted.
“I’m getting a condom,” he said, holding up the foil wrapped package once he’d dug one out.
“Oh,” she said. “I have an IUD if you don’t want to.”
His next breath came shallow.
“I mean, unless you’re not clean. I haven’t had unprotected sex since I was last tested.”
He didn’t like to think of her having any sex at all unless it was with him. “We get tested at the start of every season,” he said. “All clear. I haven’t had sex since then.”
“Then,” she reached forward to pluck the condom from his fingers, relieved she hadn’t been the only celibate one for the last three months, “I don’t think we need to use one.” She tossed it behind him. It landed on the nightstand, skidded across the surface, and fell somewhere they could find later. “I don’t want anything between us.”
Her eyes were dark with desire, and he felt it through his whole body.
“You’re incredible,” he said reverently, bringing his body next to hers again.
She reached between them to stroke his erection and his eyes fluttered closed. Feeling her hand reminded him how quickly he’d come in her mouth. “I’m scared I won’t last,” he admitted.
He’d dreamed of being inside her for so long, gotten himself off to the thought of it so many times, he might just explode the second it became real. Reality shortening his fuze to next to nothing.
“Nico.”
He met her gaze.
“I don’t care how long you last.” Lena was struck once again with how handsome he was. Those big, brown doe eyes and pouty mouth. How was this her life?
He scoffed.
“I’m serious,” she said, giving him a look that told the truth. “I just want to feel you.”
He looked almost as if he might cry.
“And I know if you do come too fast, you’ll make it up to me. You’ve already given me four orgasms and it’s not even ten in the morning.”
He chuckled, glad for her reassurance and humor.
“Is this helping?” she asked, continuing at the same, gentle pace, “or no?”
He nodded. It probably was helping - getting him used to the feel of her.
“Do you want me to keep going?”
He shook his head, finally getting up the strength to pull her hand away. They’d waited long enough.
Lena rolled onto her back, and he followed, bracing himself on his forearms above her.
As he reached down go guide himself, Nico pulled in a deep breath. Slow. They were going to take this slow, and everything was going to be fine.
Even nestling his tip against her entrance sent sparks pinging through his system.
He tore his eyes from where their bodies would soon be joined and looked into her face, “this is okay?”
She nodded.
“You’ll tell me if —”
She leaned up to cut him off with a kiss. “Make love to me, Nico,” she whispered as she settled back against the pillows.
And so, he eased forward.
Her hips tipped to his, a pleasured sigh escaping her lips. There was a stretch, but he’d prepped her so well, there was no pain.
She met his gaze as his hips settled against hers. He was looking at her with all this love and adoration. No one had ever looked at her like that but him. Reaching up, she swept some of his hair out of his eyes, only to have it fall right back.
A laugh chuffed out of him as if to agree that was a losing battle.
“You can move,” she said after a few more moments of his trembling stillness.
He swallowed and shifted his hips back.
She took in a sharp breath. “Oh.”
“Feels good?” his voice was tight with restraint.
The fullness of him was good, but feeling him move inside her was better. “Yes,” she moaned.
A thousand little dreams came true.
The sight of her beneath him was a replay of so many fantasies, his resolve was unraveling too fast. He knew she meant what she said about him coming too soon, but he wanted to be good for her, and, dammit, he wanted to feel her fall apart around him. He slammed his eyes closed.
“How does it,” she gasped as he withdrew to the tip, “feel?”
“You feel so good, Lena,” he panted. “You’re so tight.”
“Or you’re so thick,” she countered, back arching as he thrust back onto her, a little harder.
That’s when she heard it, that little grunt. It was something her body seemed to do naturally. She would never have noticed it if Nico hadn’t pointed it out. And he’d picked up on it almost immediately, filing the information in his beautiful brain to help bring her pleasure. What had she ever done to deserve this man?
Nico risked looking at her. She was beautiful every time he saw her, but this took the cake.
“What do you need? What will make you come?”
Of course Nico was mature enough to communicate and know he needed her help to get her there.
“Keep going,” she panted as her hand slipped between them in search of her clit. Nico felt so good. So incredible inside her, but she'd never been able to get off by penetration alone.
His jaw dropped as her walls fluttered around him. “Fuck can't do that,” he groaned.
“Need it,” she whispered, pressing purposeful circles over the sensitive bundle.
He moaned her name and buried his face in her neck. She felt so much better than he'd even fantasized.
She made a noise that made his hair stand on end. God, how was he going to get through this without embarrassing himself when she sounded like that? Like more than all of his dreams combined?
“Nico,” she moaned his name the same way, and he felt his resolve crumble a little bit more.
Pulling from every self discipline lesson he'd learned in hockey and beyond, he stilled, reminding his body his mind was more powerful.
Once he had some semblance of control back, his competitive determination snapped into place, and his desire to please her took the drivers seat. He needed to see her come beneath him.
“Can you…” she trailed off before demanding, “Nico, harder.”
He braced lifted himself higher and drove his cock into her with more ferocity, grunting with each show of strength.
“Oh my god. Nico, yes!” Feeling his strong hips drive into her over and over again made her back bow.
Sweat broke out along his hairline just as much from exertion as the restraint he was clinging to.
“I’m almost there.”
“Let go,” he growled.
Her mouth dropped open. She never expected to hear Nico order her around at all, but hearing the gruff command in SwissGerman sent her body into a frenzy. She had no idea what he said, but it was the hottest fucking thing she'd ever heard.
Her hips rose to meet his, and he could still feel her fingers between them, working for her own high.
He watched pleasure roll across her face and continued on. “Lena,” his resolve was slipping, and he heard desperation creep into his voice. “Come.”
That one word order — she knew it had to be — tipped her over the precipice, and her body seized.
Feeling her walls clench around him pulled a shout from his gut. Fuck, she felt so good. As he continued, the rapid pulsating began.
“Lena,” it came out a desperate moan.
This was…she was… “Lena.”
Careening over the edge with a shouted, “Fuck!” he flooded her in a haze of bliss.
Afterglow turned his limbs to jelly, and he collapsed atop her.
Walking to his locker the next morning, Nico tried his best to be as inconspicuous as possible. If he didn’t draw attention to the hickeys on his neck and chest, no one would notice. He’d just change with his chest facing the stall.
“Ooh!” Dawson called out as soon as he’d stripped off his shirt, “Cap finally got laid!”
He went rigid. The memory of Lena’s nails raking over his back as she unraveled beneath him for the fourth - or maybe it was the fifth - time flew into his mind.
He'd nearly howled like a wolf when she'd done it. The pain, together with the pleasure of her walls constricting around him – not to mention the very reality that he was the one making her come so hard – made him see stars.
“Whose the lucky lady?” Jack asked, sauntering over, “was it that blonde from the bar? I bet it was the blonde.”
He felt himself snort. “No,” he said, voice louder than he expected. Of course it wasn’t the blonde from the bar. Some girl he’d just met could never compare.
“Who was it then? We all know it wasn’t Lena.”
Nico couldn’t help the smug little smile that spread over his lips.
Jonas picked up on it right away. “it was Lena wasn’t it?” he asked, eyes going wide.
Feeling himself blush, Nico tried and failed to keep the grin off his face.
“It was!” Jack exclaimed. “You finally got the balls!” he clapped a hand on Nicos shoulder and spun him around, taking in the marks on his chest and neck. “Looks like she enjoyed herself at least!” he said with a laugh.
“Aw man,” Dawson moaned, sinking onto the bench at his stall. “Why are all the hot girls taken?”
“You didn’t seriously think you had a chance with Lena, did you?” Curtis chirped, one sarcastic eyebrow raised.
Dawson shrugged, feeling his face and neck get hot.
“Didn’t you see the way she and Nico have been eye fucking each other the past four months? Neeks was practically on his knees at Halloween.”
“I was not,” Nico defended.
“No,” Jack broke in, “you were. You were practically drooling, to be honest.”
Coming home after practice, the apartment smelled heavenly. Like spicy sausage and something creamy. Lena was cooking.
He followed his nose to the kitchen and found her at the stove in a pair of running shorts and a gray Devils t-shirt, stirring whatever she had in the sauce pot.
As he watched, she brought the spoon to her mouth, tipped her head to the side as she tasted, then reached for the salt. She shook some in before stirring and repeating the process.
She must have deemed it done because she set the spoon down and flipped off the burner. She grabbed some hot pads and lifted the pot off the stove.
A yelp escaped her mouth when Lena turned to find Nico in the doorway, looking at her. She nearly dropped the whole pot of sauce.
“Oh my God! Why do you do that?” she demanded, managing to set the pot back on the stove.
An amused smile lifted his mouth, dimpling one cheek more than the other. “Do what?”
“You keep just showing up in the kitchen without any warning!” she said, flapping a hot pad in his direction, “and it scares the hell out of me when I turn around.”
“I just get too distracted to say hello,” he admitted.
“Distracted?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, you’re…” he paused, gesturing to her as he tried to find the right words. “You’re so pretty it steals my thoughts sometimes.”
She blushed.
“That time I came in when you had that pink underwear on, I thought I might faint.”
She rolled her eyes.
“I’m serious, Lena,” he said, finally stepping in so he could put his hands on her waist. The fact that he could touch her like this now was still banging pots and pans around his brain each time he did it.
“You thought you might faint?” she repeated. “that seems a little dramatic, Nico.”
He shrugged, “it was like this stolen moment.”
“What?”
He paused, working his thumbs under the shirt hanging loose on her petite frame. He loved that she’d started wearing his shirts.
“I loved you for so long, and it was like this little, secret gift.” His thumbs drew circles on her skin as he thought through the words, “it was like I was seeing you like I might if we were together, and I just couldn’t…I couldn’t bear to say anything because it would break it.”
“I thought you were shocked at my thighs,” she blurted, effectively running the moment. What he was saying was so incredibly sweet, but him bringing up that moment brought her straight back.
He laughed quietly. “I was shocked at your thighs. I don’t think I’d ever seen you in your underwear.”
“I mean…I thought you didn’t like them,” she said quietly, hoping he didn’t think she was fishing for compliments. The way he’d tenderly kissed her there the night before told her she’d been wrong.
His gaze grew soft, “you’re so beautiful, Lena. How could you think that?”
One of her shoulders shrugged up. “I’ve never really liked them.”
His hand slid down over her hip to tenderly grip the flesh, “I love them,” he said, leaning in closer to nuzzle his nose against hers. “I especially like what’s between them.”
“You’re insatiable,” she teased, even as her heart fluttered. It was a strange thing to have her insecurities turned inside out so easily.
“Can you blame me?” he asked, lips whispering over hers, “when I’ve wanted you for so long, and now,” he slid his other hand to her other thigh, and tightened his fingers, nudging her to jump. She did, and he moved to cup her rear to hold her up as her ankles hooked around his waist. “Now I have you?” The truth in his statement, along with the feel of her body pressed against his, made him a little breathless.
The steps they’d taken to get here were clear, and she followed them again and again in her mind, but in moments like this, it still felt like a dream. Instead of answering, she kissed him.
They’d kissed a lot now, but it still felt so new that each time she initiated, each time she caught his mouth, and especially each time her tongue brushed against his, his knees went a little weak.
Stumbling just slightly, he backed up and ran into the fridge. The bottles in the door clinked and rattled in protest.
The sauce and baked potatoes were long forgotten as he carried her to the bedroom.
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Playlist
To read all my fics, check out my Fanfiction Masterlist
#nico & lena#Nico hischier#nico hischier fanfiction#nico hischier smut#nico hischier fanfic#nico hischier blurb#nico hischier imagine#nico hischier x ofc#nico hischier x oc#nico hischier one shot#nh13#nj devils#new jersey devils#nhl fanfiction#nhl imagine#nhl fic#nhl hockey#hockey romance#hockey fanfiction#🥭anon#it doesn't matter au
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PLS write smut for Hazel from bottoms..I need her so bad I fear..maybe like subtop!hazel..is her having a strap too far..I need her..
this is not. a full fledged fic. but this is the first time in a sec that ive let myself be inspired by an ask. this is weirdly switcher and just pure gay-sexier than it is subby!hazel. lmk if you want things to get subbier, bc i can probably do that. but for rn i have.. this image.. and i want you to walk with me on this but also hold my hand because i'm #supershy,
(minors [including 17 year olds 🙏🏽] dni fr, under the cut: not that proofread. strap lol (r!r), foul language, breeding... language... (my bad) (hazel has a strap tho), subtop!hazel except i could've made this shit so much worse so i guess switch!hazel but like, switch!reader, idk everyone's just a whore. there's an "i love you" (or.. multiple, i guess). there's a mirror. there's a vibrator. purely stream of consciousness, i don't even think the position they're fucking in makes physical sense fr. i was bored and i was thinking, so i wrote a lot. this whole thing is not realistic btw. i have very little confidence that hazel's blowing anyone's back out, but. it's my first day out in a min so i'm rusty. all respect to the community. next time when i pull up, i'll offer something a little more tame and saccharine as opposed to [exaggerated p*rnstar moans!!!]. reblogs and whatnot appreciated.)
so, i have this .. picture.
of you putting a bullet vibe in the pocket of hazel's strap before she fucks you from behind for the first time.
she eventually finds the confidence to blow your back out, and tbh, you think it's gonna end with you seeing stars because you can already hear the fucking lottery machines going off in your head. she's fucking you so well, and hazel's problem is that you're letting her know.
at first she thinks she's going crazy. but those fucking mewls into the pillow over how deep she is, how she's making you feel so good, how you've missed her so much, are sending shocks through her clit that the vibe keeps amplifying, everytime her pelvis hits your ass.
if she thrusts hard enough, which god knows she does, it almost makes her buckle over.
you're left clenching the sheets, and gasping against the linen while she fucks you, taking you in a way that's so uncharacteristically perverse that you don't even have the brain capacity to ask yourself why you didn't ask her to take you like this, sooner. her thrusts are quick and shallow, her words breathy and a little sharp. with every jolt of your body forwards as she experimentally blows your back out, it's like you feel yourself becoming more and more removed from this fucking planet. you can't help but cry -- sob, even -- as she makes you into a mess of limbs, leaving you tugging at your tits in one split second, and gripping at the sheets the next.
something happens, though.
where her hips rut into yours in deep, hard thrusts, spaced out by what feels like eternities, you can hear her. she's moaning now, breath quickening and chest rippling everytime her crotch hits yours at a particular angle. she's mewling, and unless you're hallucinating from how fucked up you are, you can hear her --
"fuck... f--uuh--ck, fuck, fuckfuck..."
-- silently beginning to whimper.
the girl goes from bullying your cunt to burying her strap deep enough in it to make the apex of its curve nudge against your g-spot, in a way that leaves your mouth hanging wide open with nothing spilling out of it maybe other than drool, but...
it's the slick warmth of hazel's back pressed nearly flush against yours and the heat of her breath against your shoulder that makes your eyes flutter open, facing your reflection in the floor-length mirror stationed across from hazel's bed.
hazel's in it so deep, you can't even see the strap anymore. and by no exaggeration, it's like an earthquake pulses through her body everytime she nudges her hips into your ass, making your vision blurry. she's rutting into you. greedily grinding her strap into your cunt in the effort of chasing her own high.
it wasn't a secret that hazel was sensitive. more often than not, the poor girl writhed against your mouth whenever she let you put it on her ("let you" is a loose sentence -- she begs for it, sometimes). you don't even know why you're surprised that your girlfriend is getting this close over having a bullet vibe pressed against her clit, hardly protected by fabric. "b--babe--"
what sounds like a plea, amongst the feeling of hazel's thighs trembling against the back of yours, inspires something sinister inside you.
you wind your hips against her, pressing back against the strap and the toy. the sight of your ass rolling against hazel's pelvis, combined with how good it feels is gonna actually, like, make hazel fucking--
"don't cum."
she loses her breath, entirely, and her rhythm, apparently. she slows, as if that was her body's instinct to obey your orders, despite the string of breaths that tumbles out of her mouth. "n-- wha-- fuck, no, nonono--"
you wind your hips deeper into hers, extracting a moan from your own throat -- fuck, maybe your gut, since that's how deep you could feel her. you press your ass into her until you feel the buzz of the vibe against folds, the frequency of it changing and humming as you press it further into her clit. "y--es," you grit. "don't fucking cum yet, hazel."
the dull, rolling vibrations through the fabric of the strap draw hazel's eyes into the back of her head, and then closed. she's grunting now -- or all of the above -- and she tries her best to unchap her lips, fruitlessly dragging over them. the little breaths she takes through them only brings them back to being puffy, pink, and a gateway of noise that gives evidence to struggle.
"gonna let me count you down?" you puff out your sentence in one breath, and hazel can fucking hear the grin in your still-fucked-out tone and it makes her whine louder.
"yeah? gonna fuckin' let me count you down so you can cum in me, haze?"
cum.. in you. three words that you'd never even fucking uttered to her before this, and that she never fucking thought she would ever hear and.. it looks like she can't complain, because her eyes roll into the back of her head and hazel swears that she -- at least, briefly -- meets jesus christ, "oh my god--," hazel slurs, hips rolling impossibly deeper into yours, it's a miracle she hasn't swabbed your cervix yet -- "ohmygod, oh my god--"
"three..."
ohfuck. ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck. it's the soft chorus that she whispers to herself as she starts to fuck herself into you, again, opting for thrusts as a means of trying to regain control with no consideration for your demise. the vision of her blurs in the mirror, and you feel your fists grasping at her sheets again.
"fuck--" you croak. "t--two.."
she pulls you further into her, and at this point, hazel's okay with being written off as a lost cause, 'cause fuck, it's not like she has a choice. the strap brief is soaked and it's entirely your fault, and god, she throws her head back. a mess of words, a mess of sensations, hazel just blurts, "oh my g--od--i love you--"
you burst out laughing at the random proclamation, admist everything.
she forces her head down to watch you, jaw hung open. and at this point, she's just speaking. rambling and slurring and gasping, tears-in-eyes-in-awe-and-all, as she watches you throw your ass back against her.
"iloveyou so much, you're so f--ucking hot, whatthefuck?--"
there's something weirdly sweet about it. something that makes your cunt clench around the strap in a way that hollows you out shortly thereafter, and lets hazel hit that fucking spot just right. before you know it, you're wherever hazel is, cunt fully creaming around the silicon.
"i love you--" you dumbly spit out a giggle, a gasp causing a steam of spit to cascade off your bottom lip and onto hazel's navy sheets. "babe," you warn. "ohfuck, ohmyfuckinggod, you're gonna make me cu---"
"fuckingsayone," hazel, unbelievably pleads while she unbelievably spears her strap into your cunt. "oh my fucking god, say one, please, please, pleaseplease--"
she starts begging. unprompted. "it's s-so good, it's so, so good, feels so fucking good, wanna c--um in you--" and she probably repeats it. probably repeats that she wants to cum in you until she's blue in the face and,
"o-one--"
until you let her.
the noise that's ripped from hazel's throat is .. embarrassing. virginal, almost. fully reverberates off the walls, and she trembles. her clit convulses against the vibe, twitching with every short stream of her release and she folds. poor girl was holding your hips for something -- for reassurance, to get a grip, dear life, perhaps? as her hips languidly fuck and press into the surface of your ass., rocking your near limp-frame after you've pretty much creamed all over her strap.
hazel hangs over you for god knows how long, dark hair shaggy and some strands stuck to her forehead in wavy wisps. cheeks flushed, and lower lip bitten to hell. the bullet vibe fucking dies, thank god almighty, because god knows she was not in any shape to reach down and turn it off.
she stays like that for a while, until she you feel her again. this time, only gentler, and much more like herself. soft hands caressing the skin of your back, her breath warm and shaky as she peppers a splay of kisses across your skin.
as you come from the surface of your own high, you feel yourself hum. still full of her, and dizzy with it. despite it, you manage -- slurring, slightly.
"haze?"
there's a hum, somewhere.
"did that really feel that good?"
hazel distantly nods, brown locks brushing against your back.
"uh.." hazel frowns, letting out a weak laugh. "y-yeah, honestly."
the mental note gets filed away somewhere deep in the haze of your brain and you grin, when you press your ass one against her just for shits and giggles and hear her gasp, from the sensitivity of it alone.
"that's my girl."
#hazel callahan x reader#hazel callahan#lesbian#wlw#lgbt#bottoms 2023#merry fuckin christmas#i am logging out see you in like 12-15-35 hours
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hey babes :) if you’re taking requests, could you do a jackie and steven hyde type of thing but with vinnie x reader?? i just love them sm ;(
𝗵𝘆𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗷𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗲
𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: hyde!vinnie x jackie!reader
𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: “i like shiny things, but i’d marry you with paper rings.”
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: ENEMIES TO LOVERS!! angst, fluff, 70’s!bad boy!stoner!mean!vinnie (he’s hyde, duh), very brief drinking/marijuana use, offensive language (it’s the 70’s), cheating, some sexual content, light violence, typical that 70’s show behaviors!! spoilers for that 70’s show
𝗔/𝗡: SUPER LONG! this is literally just a bunch of hyde and jackie scenes, except with reader and vinnie inserted (some things are different obviously to keep it more original & entertaining but pretty much the same) and i kept the characters from that 70’s show and everything else the same so if you haven’t watched that 70’s show, you’ll probably be confused -> ps: since everyone calls steven by his last name in the show, so vinnie gets called hacker a lot in this!
you can also read the old kelso!vinnie fic i wrote here
this is a request that i got two years ago before i went on break. since i am a huge that 70’s show fan and steven hyde obsessed (fuck the actor), i just couldn’t help myself from writing so much.
i had a lot more planned for this but since it’s thanksgiving, i figured i’d leave it there, so let me know if you want a part two! i love and missed you guys <3 i hope you enjoy!
wondering where ive been and why it took so long? click here. 🩷
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
── ★ ˙ ̟𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦 ──
“he’s better than you in every conceivable way.” the confidence was staggering in her voice but she was speaking faster than she was thinking, and she’d be damned if michael got the last laugh.
sure, every girl dreamed of prom, but not like y/n did. in fact, y/n would honestly cease to function, burn out and die if she didn’t get the magical romantic night that she had been planning ever since she could walk. if she could she’d get her daddy to pay off michael to just stop being such an idiot and take her to prom instead, but as always her father was busy and frankly no where to be found. maybe a simple phone call his way would work, but than again she’d already opened her mouth and once y/n starts yapping, she can’t just stop.
her father would most likely go on about how poor and dumb the kelso’s were and insist she bring someone else to be arm candy for— and then she’d go on her ‘but daddy, i love him’ speech for the millionth time— the nonsensical idea was still better than sitting there and acknowledging the mess that she was making with her statements, but could you blame her?
i mean, pam macey? seriously? it was almost offensive that that was what micheal was so giddy suddenly about. if he wants to take that slut to the prom, than so be it.
y/n y/l/n could do better than her mediocre ex —michael kelso, anyways.
it is her world at the end of the day and everyone else was just living in it. a date to prom shouldn’t be hard to find. a girl like that is someone you’d be a fool not to be bending over backwards for.
once michael exclaimed how ‘that could be anybody’ before bursting out of donna’s front door, she knew she’d got him right where she wanted him. she loved making kelso feel like an idiot, especially when he was one (which was a lot).
her satisfied grin was quickly replaced with a pout as she gazed down at the fake fruit in the bowl center of the counter she sat at, analyzing her brain for any ideas as to what she was going to do.
she wasn’t sure what led her to the spot beside vinnie on the couch of eric foreman’s basement, but once she was seated there, she immediately began sighing absentmindedly while pretending to watch the movie on the small tv in front of them.
hacker’s legs were up on the table, his signature boots beside discarded objects scattered along the surface and his face didn’t seem to move a muscle at the girl beside him. breathing in again, she let out a louder sigh, her behavior and noises progressively becoming more dramatic and less easy to ignore.
time seemed to slow down when finally, arms still crossed, vinnie sucked his teeth and hesitantly replied, eyes glued to the screen.
“y/n, if i ask you what’s wrong will you stop doing that?”
the girl threw up her hands, defeatedly—“it’s the prom. stupid michael is taking stupid pam macey and now i don’t have a date, but i told him i did, and im a complete loser.” huffing, she mirrored vinnie, crossing her arms against her chest.
she was met with immediate laughter from the tattooed boy. still looking ahead, his chuckles grew, up until he saw the girl beside him staring at him, distraught with the most pathetic look on her face. quickly clearing his throat, he feined a smile and replied with “no you’re not!”
body language still clearly dying for this moment to be over and for the smaller girl to leave, she continued on. “it’s just that…i thought that he was gonna ask me, and now anyone who’s anyone is going, and i don’t have a date.”
“you’re right, i heard it was gonna be fun.” he claimed, sarcasm completely flying under the girls radar.
“how would you know, you’re not even going?!” the realization hit her. shocked, she put her hands to her face, making eye contact with vinnie for the first time since she arrived in the basement.
“you’re not going, oh my god. you don’t have a date…..and i bet you’d clean up nice!” she smirked. he could practically see the gears turning in her head and adjusted his focus back to the tv.
“i do. but i won’t.” he deadpanned, hoping she’d just leave it there.
but did rich, spoiled, princess y/n y/l/n ever just ‘leave it there?’ of course not!
“look, i know we’ve had our differences—“ she shifted, moving towards vinnie and putting a hand on his arm to garner more of his attention, hoping he’d take her seriously if he saw how upset she was.
“y/n, we’ve had nothing but differences. in fact, don’t we kind of hate each other?” he dismissed her, pointing out the obvious that she had purposefully been avoiding.
it was true, y/n and vinnie never got along. why would they? he was a poor misfit who was covered in tattoos and only ever cared about weed and had a fate for either dying alone or in prison— while she was a rich girl, born with a name for herself, constantly striving to be the center of attention and doing whatever she could to achieve her goals— although it felt like it more so followed her around since everything was always just so easy with her.
nothing was ever easy with hacker.
“yes, but this is the prom!” she sobbed, clutching onto him and leaning into his chest, feeling the fabric of his jacket shifting below her as he centered himself.
“y/n…come on. stop!” he demanded gently, the girl a bundled mess in his lap, continuing to cry and while some of it was hysterics, real tears were threatening to spill at the thought of not having a date. “oh, come on..” she had him right where she wanted him, “look, do you wanna go to the prom?!” he snapped, the softness leaving his voice.
“yes.” she composed herself, watching him roll his eyes while he leaned over to rest his head against his hand. while his attention was back on the television, y/n’s presence stayed.
“thank you.” she fixed her hair, watching the grimace appear on his face in response to what he had just done, or more so agreed to do.
“yeah, yeah. shut up.”
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
wearing a long, purple dress and hair done up with white flowers, y/n stood at her dates door. the fabric flowed beautifully on her as if she was a painting and a part of her was excited to see michael’s reaction to it.
if only he’d been my date.
vinnie’s mom had been yelling profanities from inside their house while he had been trying to slip away to meet y/n. the girl could hear the older woman reciting ‘carrie’ quotes from behind the walls when he finally emerged from behind the door.
“SHUT UP, MA! YOU’RE MAKING THE NIGHT TOO DAMN SPECIAL!” he called back, opening the glass door and smiling at y/n as if he wasn’t just shouting back at his mother. the door slammed and he stood before the girl, a box in his hands, wearing a suit that matched hers. ruffles of the same purple color from her dress, adorned his toned chest, hidden under a large velvet bow tie. “wow, you look beautiful.”
his words had caught her off guard, the sincerity in his voice snapping her back from her thoughts. “you too.” it was true, he did. y/n never thought she’d see the day where vinnie hacker wore anything even remotely elegant, much less a tailored matching suit. she became nervous, and fiddled with her fingers beneath the sheer gloves she wore. “should—do you want me to say hi to your..?”
“oh no, trust me. shes lovely.” he quickly guided her down the steps of his house, “let’s just go, alright?”
a sigh left his lips while the box he held caught her eye as it shimmered in the moonlight. “is that for me?” she pointed, watching him outstretch his hands to give it to her.
“oh, uh…yeah.”
“oh my god, vinnie. this is beautiful.” she grasped the box wrapped in golden paper, seeing the corsage peeking through the window of it. “you know, this whole thing has taught me that i really don’t need michael to go to the prom. i can go with anyone…even you.” she licked her lips, tasting her strawberry and kiwi lip gloss before leaning in. “thanks.”
what vinnie assumed was gonna be a hug, was instead a chaste kiss to his cheek. bewildered by the sudden and foreign intimacy, they backed away from each other before the boy spoke up.
“yeah let’s not do that.”
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
“look, you wanna be with her and she wants to be with you so how about you quit acting like a baby, man up and go be with each other!” vinnie took a swing of the punch he had poured, “cause this whole thing sickens me!” grimacing and brushing off kelso, until the lanky boy made his way to y/n’s table, momentarily forgetting about pam macey, his date.
vinnie had spent the prom beside his date, showing little to no enthusiasm but just enough to keep her on her feet. he posed for photos with her, constantly belittled pam’s appearance for her (despite it being all lies), and even slow danced with the girl, but it was no use. her body was sending noiseless complaints and groans of misery while she stared longingly at her ex boyfriend, who was staring back just as much as her despite the blonde woman in his arms. vinnie made his way to get y/n some punch when michael approached him, pulling out the ‘bros before hoes’ card and exclaiming ‘how could you’s?!’ after going on about how he thought him and vinnie were friends, the boy in purple finally interrupted, explaining his actions with a simple ‘she was crying, man!’
he maneuvered his way into the open seat beside pam macey, her face as blank and thoughtless as ever. quickly pulling out a pick up line along the lines of ‘let’s get out of here and have sex in a car’, he ushered her out of the building. looking back once more at y/n who was already chipper at the sight of michael beside her, leaning in and kissing him on the dance floor, vinnie adjusted his tie and droned out the blondes chatter as he followed.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
── ★ ˙ ̟𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐥 ──
eric, fez, and vinnie were seated in the foreman’s basement when y/n burst through the door with jagged, weak breaths. she ran all the way there with barely an idea as to what she was going to do, all she knew was that she had to find eric.
“eric, i just saw michael kissing your sister! okay, he’s a rat! he’s been cheating on me!” she struggled to keep her calm while the three boys gazed up at her, vinnie’s gaze more apathetic than the other two boys.
“what? no!” eric pretended to be surprised while continuing to shuffle cards mindlessly. he was in the middle of a game, vinnie and fez still holding their cards in hand. everyone but y/n and donna knew about kelso’s affair with eric’s sister. it was like a bomb just waiting to drop. he’d continuously complain to the group about how difficult it was juggling two girls at once and was constantly trying to make it work until he realized he needed to end it with laurie.
fez’s curiosity at y/n’s words were peaked and he shifted towards her, just waiting for the moment to come to the rescue. “surely there must be some kind of mistake!” eric lowered his cards and his voice was laced with a humorous undertone that made y/n feel like she was completely out of the loop. “right guys!?” he slapped vinnie on the chest, hitting his sweater while he sat there mouth agape.
“wow..sure is a mind blower!” it was the same fake voice that vinnie used when he spoke to y/n kindly. if it wasn’t some backhanded comment, it was meaningful criticism being hurled at her— his distain in the girl was apparent at all times. the same voice he used when he had to respond to red and kitty about weed and the dangers of it. fake enthusiasm.
“does that mean you and kelso are over?” fez stood up, letting the cards land on the table. y/n took in his puzzled appearance, “yes!”
“like…by over you mean..?”
“forever! i never wanna see him again, fez! this is way more than just taking pam macey to the prom— i mean laurie?! lying about that to me? and setting my house on fire? this whole time i’ve been putting up with him and he goes and does that, i mean?!” she groaned, her puffer jacket feeling progressively hot as she found herself in a steep slope that lead to tears and violence. she wanted to slap someone the more she thought back at the situation.
“to be fair, that’s only the stuff you know about.” vinnie quipped from his seat on the chair beside the couch. eric quickly swatted him with his hand while fez remained looking at the girl with puppy eyes. her blood was boiling, like hacker couldn’t get any more unlikable.
shaking her head in annoyance, she ground her teeth while spinning on her heels back to the door she entered from, knowing that if she stayed she’d end up throwing something at the cocky boy in leather. she made her way to donna’s house.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
after having time to reflect, or at least pretend to, y/n made peace with michael’s actions. she stood once again in the basement, ranting on about the breakup and her new desires to eric and donna who were cuddled on the couch.
“you sure you’re changed? because you’re yapping like the old you.” vinnie said, hand in the freezer behind her to pull out a popsicle. while he walked back to the edge of the couch, the door to the basement swung open, revealing y/n’s disheveled ex.
“y/n..can we talk?” it was like no one else was in the room, the way kelso’s brown eyes only gravitated towards the girl in question.
“i’m here, why not?”
“andd with that i think we should—“ eric grabbed onto donna, beginning to rise from their seat on the couch as they realized the intimate moment that was about to make way.
“uh, foreman?” vinnie halted him, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him back to the couch before sitting on the arm rest. “come on now.” he patted eric’s shoulder before taking a lick of the yellow popsicle in his hand, watching over at the broken couple and waiting for them to start bickering.
of course he was entertained.
“look, y/n, i know i messed up. i mean, i did so many things that i don’t even know where to start.”
“woah, hey! give it a shot at least, i’ll help you fill in the blanks.” vinnie interrupted kelso, continuing to eat his popsicle while smirking at the situation his friend had finally fallen in. he’d been waiting for it to finally come to light and here it was.
donna had to keep vinnie at bay while michael was shooting his shot at an apology, but every time y/n looked at him, she couldn’t help but see him and eric’s sister in that kitchen kissing again. it was like a stain on him that was driving her insane.
“i don’t forgive you kelso. i don’t want to be with you again, okay? we are done. forever.”
“woah, didn’t see that coming!” vinnie leaped off the edge of the couch, hiding his grin with the yellow treat in hand before kelso bolted out of the door again, stomping. he caught a glimpse of the tears on his face, along with the new ones that were pouring down y/n’s.
“so um…” she could feel three sets of eyes on her, all shocked at her decision and not knowing how to comfort her. she laughed at herself for being so stupid.
“that was the smartest thing i’ve ever done! and um…” she gulped, grasping her hands together and trying to keep her lip from quivering. “it’s for the best…” her mascara was clumping through her vision and the sight of donna’s sympathetic gaze was too much to handle.
she whined, completely breaking down. the couple stood up, arms open while eric cooed words of comfort and donna was preparing to hold her crying friend, but y/n made a b line straight to vinnie.
“hacker!” she cried, walking by the two and wrapping her arms around the tall boys torso. he looked over at the others for help, stunned while holding onto his popsicle in one hand. she sobbed into his neck, standing on her tippy toes to reach him.
he didn’t hug back and was instead appalled, but y/n found comfort in his presence anyways.
“why does she always come to me?” he questioned, carefully putting his hand at the back of her waist, his touch light like she was contagious.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
some time had passed, and after breaking up with kelso, y/n found herself constantly going to vinnie for comfort, despite him being the least comforting person on the planet.
he didn’t know what to do. he’d tried everything to get her to stop and talk to donna instead or just be like him and keep it bottled up inside, but y/n wouldn’t take. it was at the point where he would just pretend to be someone else whenever she spoke to him. that’s what he was doing now, folding his laundry while the girl sat on top of the foreman’s washing machine, going on about michael like always.
he smiled and gave her the cheapest advice and response possible, taking everything at face value. “yeah, i suppose that it’s important that when you have a bad breakup.. that you find friends,” he grabbed another one of his graphic tees, folding it, “that uh..sympathetic…uh…stuff.” he huffed, bending over to grab another shirt from the machine. “for support and uh…yeah..i don’t know.” he smiled.
“right…so, let’s go to the mall!” she offered, excited at the idea of hanging out with someone. sure she loved shopping, but having someone with her to shower her in compliments made it a thousand times better.
she wasn’t sure what it was that made her gravitate towards vinnie at this time. maybe it’s because he’s the only person who didn’t treat her like she was special and instead, criticized her and was brutally honest. something about it made her feel more human. whatever the reason was, she undoubtedly only wanted to be with hacker at this time.
“no— i meant friends like donna! or.. not me!” grabbing his laundry, y/n followed him into his room at the back of the basement. she’d never really been in there before, since vinnie moved in with the foreman’s.
he rolled his eyes as he heard her steps behind him. “but, i noticed that you’re alone a lot! and now i’m alone a lot! so let’s just be alone together!” he turned to face her after placing his clothes on the bed, seeing her in his room felt so out of place. “look, we’re even alone right now! it’s not so bad!”
“i’d beg to differ.” he huffed, continuing to walk away from her. once they were out of his room, she had managed to get him to agree to hang out with her. sure, he was only going since she offered to pay for his food and let him drive her dads fancy car, but a win was a win for y/n.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
after a workable trip to the mall, the two made their ways back to the car. now, sitting in the passenger seat, was y/n complimenting the new boots that she’d bought vinnie. she bought them partly because his current clothes were hideous and she was embarrassed to be seen with someone dressed like that with clothes you could only find in a bargain bin— but she also enjoyed spending money on people she cared about.
she was so used to constantly feeding and clothing michael, paying for every little thing he needed and didn’t need, that it almost felt wrong to not buy vinnie something. sure, he wasn’t her boyfriend to spoil with gifts, but that same urge she felt for michael, she felt for him.
the first sign that maybe she liked vinnie more than she expected to.
once y/n started talking about plans for tomorrow, vinnie stopped her with a chuckle. “okay, alright now!come on now, y/n. this was a one time only thing, alright?”
she could feel her stomach drop at his words, “if you’re trying to bribe me with these boots, man, you can just take them back.”
“oh..i see.” she tried to keep her head up, ignoring the pain that she felt in her chest. even her $400 fur coat she wore couldn’t hide the hurt inside.
“oh, what are you gonna do now? cry?” he mocked, playfully. while she peered out the window of the passenger seat, vinnie’s face dropped in realization. his brown eyes studied her face, looking her up and down to see the look of devastation written all over it.
“oh, man..you’re crying.” the boys usual rough demeanor softened slightly and he didn’t drop his gaze, instead leaning closer to her. “hey..y/n! come on, it’s gonna be fine, alright?”
vinnie wrapped his arm around her shoulder, silently begging her to look at him. when he completely dropped his cool guy act and started comforting her more intimately than ever before, y/n didn’t know what to do. “you’re gonna be okay, alright?” he murmured softly, pushing a few strands of hair from her face and behind her ear. “this whole thing, it’s gonna be fine alright?”
once y/n made eye contact with him, she couldn’t stop herself from leaning in, putting her hand on his cheek and letting her lips touch his for a millisecond before he pulled away, frantically.
“NO! bad y/n!”
“but..you’re alone and i was alone—“
“look, y/n..i’m trying to help you out here okay? i’m not gonna take advantage of you like this.” y/n swallowed, not letting him continue.
“vinnie-“
“no, listen. you need to understand that you can do so much better than kelso. i know you’re upset but it’s gonna be okay.”
“but what if i don’t find anyone else…” she asked.
“you will, man! you’ll find somebody great!” his words were sincere and reassuring, as opposed to the way he usually spoke to her.
“see, i myself? don’t like you.”
and she spoke to soon.
“i find you abrasive,” he continued, “but if i didn’t know you, and i had never talked to you… i’d think you were totally hot.”
and with that, she felt a million times better.
“thank you, hacker.”
“anything for you, princess.”
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
later that night, vinnie made his way to the basement with two bottles of coke, finding y/n standing there, looking at fez and kelso.
“hey, what’s going on?” he asked, eyes darting between the girl he’d just been with and her ex boyfriend as he handed her the coke he’d grabbed for her.
“nothing! nothing at all.” she exclaimed, smiling back at kelso before looking down at vinnie who was now seated. “thank you hacker for tonight. it was very special.” with that, she leaned down and gave him a kiss that was dangerously close to his lips.
vinnie sat there processing what had happened while she made her way past the two boys and out the door, leaving a shocked and appauled kelso and a grinning vinnie.
“you guys like my new boots?”
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
── ★ ˙ ̟𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 ──
that bag.
curse that stupid bag was all vinnie could think.
y/n was clingier than ever before, doing whatever she could to get vinnie to hang out with her and it was driving him up the wall. she was like a parasite at this point.
then when vinnie told her off and explained how they had nothing in common and that she was just a square cheerleader and they’d never be best friends, it flipped a switch in her.
that’s when he found her outside with a bag full of paraphernalia that she’d purchased in order to prove that she wasn’t some goody two shoes cheerleader, and of course with their luck a cop was there. he approached them after hearing them argue when vinnie heard her express that she wanted to be with him, he couldn’t help himself but snap back at her.
when the officer saw the bag, he went to arrest y/n before vinnie told him that it was his bag and not hers, and given vinnie’s appearance, the cop believed it.
after that, y/n confessed her love to him and was positive that he loved her back, no matter what he may say. in her eyes, him taking the fall for her and going to jail, was him protecting her and she’d never felt any type of protection like that before from any of her exes.
she made it her mission to get him to be with her as soon as he was released from jail.
“guess who?!” she put two hands over hackers eyes, covering them as she stood behind him. he was alone at the hub, sitting at a table with a bottle in his hand.
“well, it’s either y/n or the cold, clammy hands of death. not sure which one would be worse.”
“it’s….y/n!” she singsonged, sitting beside him. her hand immediately going to clutch his arm.
“damn it.”
“oh, vinnie…you’re my hero!” she gushed, “when that cop found my bag and you said it was yours, and then they took you to the big house and locked you up! that was the most romantic thing ever.”
“yeah, maybe for you! i was deloused!” he scoffed, feeling y/n grab his hand and forcibly intertwine them when leo came in to sit beside them. he gave up fighting and let her hold his hand.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
while the gang was nervously conversing in the basement about how eric got them busted for smoking by confessing to red after vinnie got arrested, y/n interrupted.
she leaped down off of the washing machine and walked behind vinnie. “guys, can we talk about something more important than weed? i mean,” she grabbed vinnie’s face, pulling him into her chest as she leaned down, “we’re in love!”
vinnie suddenly rose from his chair, turning to face her. his tight plain shirt was hugging his figure perfectly. “alright, enough of your fantasy bullshit. this whole thing wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for you. why don’t you get this through your simple little easy bake oven head? i don’t love you. i don’t even like you. i can barely stand to look at you. okay?”
the room went silent for a moment before y/n chirped up, “oh vinnie, you’re such a bad liar!” and with that, she wrapped her arms around the boys neck and leaned up into him, hugging him.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
── ★ ˙ ̟𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐞 ──
“so…vinnie…” the cheery girl placed both her hands on vinnie’s legs, right above his knees. he was seated on the washing machine, listening to the gang converse about how bored they were, when she approached.
she had on a denim dress with a slightly-sheer button up underneath that was light green with flowers all over it. her hair was pushed back with a bobby pin and she had a gold necklace on that matched the watch hacker wore—only her necklace was real gold and a gift from her father while his watch was something he stole off of a kid during third period last year.
the blue of her outfit was just a smidge darker than the jeans he wore. “would you like to be my date to mr. foreman’s barbecue?” her question was spoken with such confidence that anyone with eyes would wonder who she thought she was asking, because clearly it wasn’t vinnie, the boy who dodged her at every change he got.
“no.” her face dropped at his words and the brunette continued, “as a matter of fact, i don’t wanna go anywhere with you.”
“you know what— that’s okay!” vinnie felt the machine beneath him wobble slightly as y/n sat down beside him, closer than she needed to be. she was now sandwiched between him and the laundry bin that laurie had left down there. “we can stay in.”
her arm hung over his shoulders, leaning in even closer than she was before. “no, y/n! i’ve told you time and time again, you don’t have a chance.”
she could feel embarrassment slowly creeping up and shifted back away, her shoulder touching the laundry bin. “but for some reason, you keep thinking that i’m interested and that you have a chance!” he moved over to sit on the chair beside donna.
“wait, so you are interested in me and i have a chance?!”
of course her brain only made out the exact opposite of what vinnie was trying to say. donna let out a laugh, darting her eyes back down to the magazine she was reading from her seat on the sofa.
vinnie quickly stood back up at her words, “boy, you are just insufferable and stupid… donna, take your friend.” with that, he went up the stairs, leaving the two girls alone.
“donna..” y/n crossed her arms, taking in vinnie’s words. “why does he say words that hurt me so much? why would he want to hurt me like that?!”
“because you’re stalking him, y/n.”
“no, really, donna!”
“y/n. really.” she deadpanned, her bright eyes looking over at her best friend. her fingers closed her magazine and she shimmied closer to the girl. “you are to hacker what fez is to you.”
“okay, that’s ridiculous— fez and i would never happen!” her breath caught in her throat and she felt herself fall into the seat beside the redhead. “oh my god… vinnie and i will never happen.”
the predicament was completely different than anything she’d ever experienced before. usually whenever she had a problem, she could solve it with either money or her looks. she’d already tried money when she bought vinnie those boots, and clearly he was blind if he wasn’t dropping to his knees like everyone else to be with her, so looks wasn’t working either.
that left her with one other option. make him realize that he likes her. how? by making him jealous.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
later that day, y/n arrived at the foreman’s barbecue with someone else, just how she planned. he had an arm wrapped around her and wore the ugliest brown leather jacket that vinnie had ever seen.
the sight of chip leaning onto y/n was one vinnie didn’t expect to see from his seat at the front of the house.
“everybody, meet chip! he’s been chasing after me for years now so i figured, what the hell? chip, meet everybody!” her voice was too happy for vinnie’s liking and when chip left to grab her a drink, she immediately turned to see him, perched there watching with an unreadable expression.
“so you’re with this chip guy now?” he had his legs spread on both sides of the chair, his arms resting in his lap as he leaned backwards.
“yep.” her gaze was on chip, smiling dreamily before turning to vinnie.
“huh.” he muttered.
“why, do you care?” she shot back, pressing all of her weight into the pillar of the house.
“nah, why would i? i mean, if you wanna date this guy than that’s..cool.” he replied.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
y/n immediately approached donna who was putting up decorations for her dad, to inform her on what vinnie said.
while she didn’t see why her best friend was so excited about what seemed to be an honest and careless answer, she was somewhat grateful to have her there since everyone else had been at eric’s house all day. y/n made sure to compliment the decorations before heading back to the barbecue, only after she’d snatched a hot dog from the grill and complimented bob’s cooking.
after steering eric’s sister away from her chip, she continued back to her date. “you can have him when i’m done with him, like usual.” she’d said.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
something told vinnie to talk to this ‘chip’ guy, and after further evaluation, he was glad he did.
the guy was a jackass. even more so than her usual type, and that said a lot coming from hacker.
“i hate it when she talks, and she’s always talking.” was a statement that he could agree with and laugh about, but when the loser followed that statement up with “but it’s worth it if i get to nail her,” that was when he started seeing red.
“huh..” vinnie tightened his jaw along with the grip on his beer. “you might wanna rethink that, man. i mean…y/n’s pretty young and…only had like one boyfriend.”
“yeah, which isn’t surprising, i mean…she’s a bitch.” chip proceeded to shoot him with the most shit-eating grin that vinnie had ever seen. he just couldn’t stop himself from swinging at him.
so he did.
after letting out a dry chuckle that read ‘you’re gonna regret saying that’, vinnie threw a punch at him, hard, knocking chip to the floor instantly.
y/n came running out at the sound of shouts and gasps from the party goers who had witnessed it.
“vinnie, what happened?”
she couldn’t care less about her date bleeding on the floor, instead her focus was entirely on the tattooed boy who was adjusting his jacket and seemed to be just as confused as what had happened as she was.
“what? nothing! just…somebody and the—guy that…just said bitch and there’s nothing.” he struggled to explain himself while her eyes darted from him to the guy on the floor.
“oh my god! he called me a bitch and you hit him!” vinnie gulped, studying her frantic movements. “i’m right, aren’t i!?”
“no…”
“liar! i am the bitch and you LOVE me!” she exclaimed.
“uh…kitty’s calling me.” and with that, vinnie darted into the house, ignoring her and leaving her there to daydream about how ‘in love’ they were.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
just a few hours later, there she was, in vinnie’s jacket, sitting on the edge of the front of the car. she looked so innocent staring up at the stars in his clothes that were way too big for her.
they were on a date.
after going to kitty for advice and hearing how convinced she was that vinnie had feelings for y/n, he said fuck it and borderline demanded her to get in the car. “we are going on a fucking date.”
she was drinking his soda, an intimate gesture while leaning into him. everything was so perfect, from the scenery to the sound of guitar playing from the car radio. it was just what she wanted.
“dates almost over…what’d you think?”
“eh..i didn’t completely hate it.” he replied, looking back at her to see her gazing lovingly into his eyes.
then, they leaned in. a first kiss.
“huh.” kissing him wasn’t as she imagined it’d be. it wasn’t like when she kissed michael and that was all she was really used to. “i didn’t feel anything.”
“nothing?”
“no…i mean, it was good! but..” y/n sighed, “did you feel something?”
“uh….no.” he stopped and stared quizzically at the sky for a moment before reaffirming his answer.
“wow…than i guess you were right about us all along. just friends.” a part of her was disappointed.
“i mean..we have enough time if you want to take this to the backseat and—“ he raised an eyebrow, smirking.
“oh, take me home! you pig!”
“yes, dear.”
she wondered if he really did feel something.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
── ★ ˙ ̟𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐜𝐭 ──
vinnie was on top as usual, gripping the side of the couch while y/n was splayed out under him. her arms met his shoulders, humming softly while entangling her tongue with his. about five minutes into a make out session, they heard the familiar stomp of kelso’s feet down the basement stairs.
“a catholic school?!”
fuck.
the two immediately separated, y/n pulling her dress back down and adjusting her lipstick while vinnie ran to grab his pair of sunglasses off the table, crossing his legs to hide his surely visible erection.
“yeah, my dad took away my slingshot so i’m feeling it pretty bad too.” kelso reached the end of the stairs with donna and eric following him. while donna went to grab her laundry, kelso slid in beside y/n on the couch, sucking obnoxiously loud on a lollipop.
vinnie pretended to be invested in whatever shitty show was on tv, while michael started hitting on y/n, like always.
“i think we should hash this thing out, yeah?” he gestured between him and his ex with the lollipop he held.
“michael, i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“come on babe, i can see it on your face. you’re dying. you miss me so much and i know we’ve been through a lot together…but you know i’m always here if you ever have some physical needs.” he suggested, putting an arm around y/n’s shoulders and breathing down onto her.
vinnie quickly jabbed him in the arm, making kelso lose his grip on the lollipop. “ow-hey! what was that for?!”
he frantically grabbed the red treat off the ground before looking back at the brunette and rubbing his shoulder in pain.
“candy’s not good for you.” he barked, clearly annoyed at the way he was talking to y/n, but with them being under wraps, only she could tell.
“well damn!” he grossly popped the treat into his mouth, leaning towards the opposite side of the couch. donna and eric winced at the sight, before exclaiming how kelso will ‘always be the king’.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
the last thing donna and eric expected to see when they entered the foreman’s basement was vinnie hunched over y/n, who was grasping on to her dress that had made its way down to her waist, trying to shield her bra cladded chest.
vinnie didn’t even care enough to move, y/n had to push him off of her. her face was so hot, she only assumed it looked animated. there were probably birds flying around hackers head, the way he didn’t give a damn. it was like someone unplugged him.
eric noticed first, his eyes wide as he shouted a fast “OH MY GOD!”, causing donna to turn. once the redhead’s eyes saw the two on the couch, they mirrored her boyfriends, widening so much that she looked like her eyes would pop out.
“what the hell?!”
“what? you never seen two people kiss before?” vinnie swallowed, his breath still heavy from the act they had been caught in. he’d been blue balled multiple times this week and it was driving him insane— not to mention the times they’d been interrupted during not so heated make outs.
“vinnie!” she scoffed, clearly embarrassed. her best friend threw a nearby pillow at her to help her cover up, since the only way to pull her dress back up, was to rise from her seat.
“what?!” he threw his hands back, nonchalantly. donna sent him a sharp glare, turning her back towards the two so y/n could get situated. eric was so traumatized that he’d already been looking the other way.
“listen you two fairies, sometimes people get urges to touch each other and it’s not a big deal. it means nothing, stop being such prudes.” vinnie responded while y/n fixed her dress, scolding the boy the second she was decent.
“are you done now?” she rolled her eyes, “you can turn around now!”
eric stayed near the door entrance while donna moved closer to her friend. “are you serious y/n?! hacker?!”
“my couch!” eric shrieked, causing his girlfriend to send him a disappointing look. the two locked eyes, “kelso!” they exclaimed in unison, even more outraged than before.
“did someone say kelso!?” fez shouted from the top of the basement stairs. the guilty pair stiffened, knowing that wherever fez is, kelso’s sure to follow. vinnie turned towards the tv, turning it on like nothing happened, while y/n sat there frozen.
“that’s right, ladies and gentlemen! the number one fastest hot dog eating champion of the entirety of the state of wisconsin, michael kelso, has arrived!” fez shouted in an announcer voice, kelso’s steps following.
once fez reached the end of the stairs, he waited for the taller boy to catch up.
“HELL YEAH! word must have gotten around, huh?!” he quickly jumped in between vinnie and y/n, squishing the three on the couch. “yep, that’s right.”
“kelso, what the hell are you talking about?” donna asked.
“i just challenged everyone at the hub to a hotdog race, winner gets 5 dollars, and won! there were only 2 people who agreed but still. everyone else was too wimp and i don’t blame them!” he put an arm on y/n’s shoulder. “does that turn you on?”
the group minus fez and kelso all shook their heads in disapproval. “it was beautiful!” fez sighed lyrically.
“yeah, that hotdog number four almost killed me. i was gasping for air…but i’m not dumb enough to choke. now THAT would be embarrassing.” he laughed, relieved.
the room went quiet before hacker stood up, “i’m going for a drive, y/n come with me.” he stated like it was an order, leaving the girl alone with kelso, fez, and the couple who knew her secret.
“like y/n would follow hacker.” michael scoffed.
“yes, why would she? she hates him!” fez chuckled from his spot in front of the tv.
seeing as they both knew y/n and vinnie wouldn’t have the balls to tell them, eric and donna filled them in on what had happened. they were both hysterical, kelso especially.
“HACKER?! oh be serious you guys, he’s poor and ugly and…” michael struggled to think of ways to insult his friend, “and my friend! he’d never do that…. plus y/n doesn’t date idiots, alright and he’s an idiot! i mean, remember the time he locked himself in the closet at donna’s house and slept there on the floor all night?!?” he shouted, standing up from the couch to face his ex.
“kelso..that was you.” donna corrected him.
“oh yeah…”
“and come on— hacker looks just like you.” eric chimed in.
“yeah! if you were covered in tattoos, were raised in a shack of a house riddled with paraphernalia and were more attractive!” donna remarked, kelso snapping his head back to look at her. “you’d be twins!” she smiled.
“oH, THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER!” kelso cowardly stormed out of the basement, leaving fez there, kneeling on the ground and looking at the couch that y/n and vinnie had made out on. he looked up quizzically at the two left alone with him.
“so…what color was the bra?”
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
── ★ ˙ ̟𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 ──
“you wanna know what i’m grateful for?” red huffed, leaning over his wife’s shoulders. “earplugs.”
he had been begging kitty to quiet down her singing, but with y/n there to help her whip the mashed potatoes, she couldn’t help but burst out in song. she’d missed laurie, not used to her not being home for thanksgiving and y/n was as close to laurie as she could get, yet the girl wasn’t her usual chipper and abrasive self. instead, she was sulking in complete silence, watching kitty cut vegetables as her wrist mindlessly wound the potatoes in the bowl she held.
she couldn’t remember the last time she felt this awful.
her dad was in trouble with the law which was causing a serious turmoil on her mother, leading her to take everything out on y/n, even more so than usual. while all she wanted was to be with vinnie, he hadn’t seen her in a week.
she tried cuddling with him on the couch like she used to, but he didn’t give in and acted like she wasn’t there. after that, she stumbled away crying and stayed at her house for the week— avoiding vinnie at all costs.
she didn’t understand what had happened. it wasn’t like she was asking him to fall madly and deeply in love with her or something, but he wouldn’t even show up to their makeout sessions anymore. ever since he swore that the thing they had was only casual fooling around and nothing more to eric and donna and that they’d stop, he’d been completely distant. sure, she swore it too, but she assumed he was just saying it to get them to back off.
she didn’t think he actually meant it!
a lot had changed since that first kiss they shared. when they started fooling around, it happened out of lust and came completely out of left field, and she still didn’t feel anything magical from it— but recently she’d started to feel things.
and it made her sick to think that she was the only one who felt it.
she wasn’t supposed to like guys like vinnie. she was supposed to marry someone with a bright future and wealthy parents who she could pass down a family name with— not someone who she’d be embarrassed to take to an event with her and have to cover his mouth to keep him from making crude comments.
so why was she so upset that he didn’t go check on her and why did he seemingly forget she existed? she even splurged on a new dress, hoping to get a reaction out of him, but nothing.
noticing how everyone except for hacker was outside playing basketball and conversing, she assumed that meant that the boy was by himself in the basement since he’s rarely in his room. after she finished whipping the mashed potatoes, she spoke for the first time in what felt like ages.
“is there anything else i can help you with, mrs. foreman?”
kitty looked back at her, seeing her sunken gaze and frowned so fast that y/n didn’t see it. “actually, red left a case of booze in the freezer in the basement so it would be nice and cold for him at supper, could you be a dear and fetch it for him?”
the basement.
nodding, she turned and made her way to the basement, anxious at the thought of being alone with vinnie.
when she reached the basement, she found vinnie seated in his usual chair, watching a tv that was seemingly off. she furrowed her brow, bending over at the freezer directly next to him.
“hey.”
he looked over to her, noting her proximity and how good the new dress fit her. “hey.”
“whatcha doin?” she put the beer on the ground, lifting her body up onto the washing machine and sitting down.
“television.” he said.
“really? cause’ it uh…kinda looks like you forgot to turn it on.” she joked.
“man, nothing gets past you, huh?”
sighing, y/n swallowed her pride and joined him on the couch. his brown eyes were glued to her whenever she wasn’t looking.
“are you okay?”
“shouldn’t i be asking you that?” he glared, shaking his head before leaning back into the couch. her hand fell onto his knee, comfortingly.
“yes, yeah..you should, but since you’re too much of a dumbass, i’m making the first move.”
“so, wouldn’t that make you the dumbass here?” he argued.
“stop changing the subject and just tell me why you’re mad at me!”
“i’m not mad at you.” he pulled back from her touch and stood up, shaking his head as if he was annoyed and this was the dumbest conversation on earth.
“well then, why haven’t we been…us recently?”
“alright now, don’t be getting so ahead of yourself, y/n. what us?” he questioned, towering over the girl who was now standing in front of him. “as far as i’m aware, we’ve been the most ‘us’ that we could have possibly been, this week!”
“vinnie, we didn’t see each other at all.”
“and why would we? its like you’ve always said, you’re you and i’m me. why keep wasting time when we already know how it ends?”
she suddenly regretted ever saying such a thing, but didn’t know how to respond with out sounding too desperate. “i thought we were just saying that.”
“well, i wasn’t.”
vinnie’s words came out so definitive and heart wretchedly empty that it almost knocked the wind out of her chest. holding his eye contact felt more difficult than it had ever been. a moment of silence passed, the girls wide-eyed gaze was haunting him already before it had even ceased to exist. pulling himself from her stare, he treaded towards his bedroom, seemingly to grab his keys, and muttered a last word before exiting through the basement door.
“you heard eric didn’t you? we’re breaking up the band.”
biting on her lower lip and clenching her fists, the reminder of kitty upstairs and the case of beer on the ground hit her, along with everything else that had happened that past day. all of it went away the minute she started speaking to hacker, a just to wash over her like a tide again the second he left. she only let a few tears fall before returning upstairs.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
“FINALLY!” kelso called out, shooting past y/n as she made her way into the foreman house. kitty had just announced that the turkey was done and that it was time to set the table.
“coming!” eric ushered himself into the kitchen to help his mother prepare the table. y/n and donna stayed back in the living room, donna nodding a hello to hacker who was on the staircase drinking a beer.
“you excited for turkey, hacker?” donna asked playfully, unaware as to how uncomfortable it made y/n. all she knew was that the girl was sad about her parents, she had no idea that the person she sparked a conversation with was also a huge part of her distress.
“oh yeah,” he stood and slowly stepped down as he spoke, “thanksgiving, where we all get together and celebrate the subjugation of an indigenous people with yams and underdog floats. who’d wanna miss that?”
y/n stood back awkwardly as donna laughed and the two followed hacker into the kitchen.
the table was set beautifully, split into two sections, one for the adults and another for the gang. eric had been borderline hyperventilating over the math test that he had failed and was doing everything he could to suck up to his parents, in the event that they found out. laurie had surprised everyone by coming home, so once y/n got red his beer, she was no longer needed in the kitchen. she had almost forgotten until she saw the blonde at their table.
fez and kelso couldn’t wait for food any longer and had already chosen seats beside each other, taking up one side of the table, and donna had gravitated towards the side nearest to fez, leaving a space presumably for her boyfriend. that meant there were only two spots left, both between hacker and laurie.
oh, just shoot me at this point.
 opting for the lesser evil, she sat in the chair directly next to vinnie, the two taking up their entire side. she could practically feel the tension the minute she sat down. there was little to no space between the two of them and it felt like a giant smoggy hurricane was working its way through her body, making it difficult for her to focus and swallow. while she’d droned out laurie’s voice, the sound of her name falling from eric’s lips snapped her back into reality.
“so..y/n. i’m sure you’re really glad your here and not back at home with your parents, huh?” he let out a chuckle, smacking his knee with his hand.
“now that would be awkward huh!”
the group fell silent, even fez and kelso staring at the completely freaked out boy who had very clearly just crossed a line.
“eric!” donna shouted in a whisper, her tone showed distain for his flagrant words but he was too brain fogged to catch on.
“i mean, you must feel like your life is just falling apart! are you doing okay? like really?” he leaned across the counter as far as possible, speaking the last part in a similar hushed expression to his girlfriends.
y/n didn’t expect vinnie to jump in.
“alright, will you lay off? bother her some other time.” his voice boomed in y/n’s ears, ricocheting off of the wires of tension that had bordered the two of them. the conversation quickly faded once the turkey was brought out, but she couldn’t help but hyper focus on the boy beside her, from the corner of her eye.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
“man…if i were to list the three most important things in my life, turkey would have to be number one!” kelso had already gotten seconds and was looking to fill his plate again for the third time. he’d been going on about how good the turkey was, and while everyone assumed it was just to be polite to kitty, he was still going on as if this was the best day of his life. “well…” he thought, “sex and slingshots would be above it but, turkey would be up there!” he grinned, nodding and taking his last bite from his piece.
“ah, yes. these mashed potatoes are all i can find thankfulness for. they are like creamy clouds full of deliciousness.” fez agreed, holding a single bowl of the mashed potatoes that y/n had helped make.
“hey, hacker. are you gonna eat that?” michael pointed to the turkey slice that vinnie had been cutting from, he chewed slowly before answering.
“yes.”
“well..could i have maybe the side—“ michael leaned over, trying to bite a piece off of vinnie’s food but vinnie gave his shoulder a haymaker before he could reach it.
“OW!” he clutched his shoulder dramatically. “well that’s not very neighborly!”
continuing to slice into the meat, vinnie moved on with his meal like nothing had happened. the sound brought kitty’s attention to the group and the look on y/n’s face was cause of concern.
“y/n, are you okay dear?” the younger girl looked up quickly, “you’ve barely touched your food.”
she made eye contact with vinnie for a good second, forgetting to ignore the feeling of when his eyes locked on to her.
“yeah, no i’m fine! i’m just a little tired, that’s all.”
“well, why don’t you go lie down in the basement? the dogs alone down there and i’m sure he’d appreciate the company on such a holiday!” she insisted, “plus, you look like you wish that fork you’re holding was a gun!” she added nervously before letting out a hysterical chuckle, taking a long sip of her drink.
“no th-“
“yeah, that’s a good idea. i’m stuffed and starting to miss that little dog. let’s go, y/n.” vinnie stood up, looking down at her and lending out a hand. y/n wasn’t sure if she was daydreaming or if it was a thanksgiving miracle but he was suddenly acting as if nothing had happened.
“what are you talking about-“
“come on,” he reached under her armpits, pulling her up from her chair and kicking back her seat, “schatzi’s probably dying down there. at this hour they’ll be playing reruns of laverne and shirley.” he pulled her arm with him down to the basement, firmly yet gently.
“oh no, i forgot! please be sure to tape it for me!” fez called out frantically.
◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦
after briefly greeting schatzi, y/n sat down on the couch, watching vinnie still in thought.
“well? what-“
“this is stupid.” he blurted out, standing confidently without showing any signs of hesitation or sitting down.
“what? what’s stupid?”
“this. what we are doing— us right now, this is so stupid.”
“okay, i’m lost.” she replied, shaking her head.
“we’re being stupid! whatever we are doing right now, it’s stupid, okay?! alright?!” he confessed, using his hands while he spoke, his brown eyes holding tightly onto her gaze. “i feel stupid! this days been stupid! thanksgiving being a national holiday is stupid—eric failed his math test which makes him stupid!” he ranted, the words spilling out from him like he couldn’t hold them anymore.
“you’re clearly upset, which is stupid! and it’s making me concernedly upset, which is stupid!” he clenched his jaw and schatzi ran over to him at the command in tone of his voice, trying to figure out what vinnie was being so loud about.
“it’s stupid and i’m cutting it out!”
“you’re….cutting it out?” y/n finally spoke up, only to be cut off by his ramblings again, but considering she barely knew what to say, she wasn’t too upset about it.
“yes.” he nodded firmly, grimacing at his words.
“okay, vinnie, you do know that this is all because of you right? you’re the one who stopped what we had going on, not me.”
“yeah, yeah? well, i’m stupid! okay?!” he snapped, sighing and dropping down beside y/n on the couch. he melted at the feeling of her hand on his arm, comforting him while waiting for him to finish his tantrum.
“look…” he sighed, “i’m not saying that we should be in a relationship or anything, but i don’t think we should allow the guys in our group to dictate what we do with ourselves. and i don’t think you think we should either, considering you’ve been moping around all day like schatzi.”
his thumb rubbed the back of her other hand, without realizing. “so..what do we do?”
“how about we just do whatever we want to?” he offered, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, “i think you’re really attractive and i have a lot of fun doing sinful and devious acts with you…” she smirked at his words, “and life is too short to be this stupid, so how about we forget about everyone else, say fuck kelso, and just do what we want? no expectations.”
the sincerity and gentleness in his voice was so incredibly attractive and it felt impossible to keep her composure. placing both hands in his, y/n leaned in and kissed vinnie’s cheek. his blush was evident, even if he tried to play it cool.
“so, you think i’m attractive?”
“god, you’re annoying.” he rolled his eyes, groaning before gripping the back of her neck in his hands and kissing her the way that he’d been dying to.
it always was the best way to shut her up.
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i have to make a new taglist, so reply if you’d like to be added!
#vinnie hacker#vinnie hacker x reader#vinnie hacker angst#vinnie hacker fanfiction#vinnie hacker fics#vinnie hacker fluff#vinnie hacker fanfic#vinnie hacker imagines#that 70’s show#steven hyde#steven hyde x reader#that 70’s show imagines#that 70’s show x reader#steven hyde imagines#enemies to lovers#vinnie hacker imagine#that 70’s show fanfic
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Friends with Benefits
Kinktober IV
Summary: How a friends with benefits relationship would go with them. Characters: Simon “Ghost” Riley, Johnny “Soap” Mactavish, Kyle “Gaz” Garrick, John Price, König, Alejandro Vargas, Rudy Vargas, Valeria Garza, all x gn!reader Rating: NSFW (mdni) Word Count: 1200ish
Ghost
In the beginning it was a lot more “benefits” than it was “friends”. He had a lot of issues to let you in any further than just sleeping with you.
You were an outlet for frustration and he was entirely honest about that and made sure you didn't feel used or led on.
It took a while but eventually you were able to spend the night, he started calling you when he needed company and eventually he even opened up to you a little and you finally got to understand why he acts the way he does.
He’s a very attentive lover and now that he has a closer bond with you, also an incredible friend. He is always there to listen, even if he often doesn’t know what advice to give you.
Often calls you over late at night or right after returning from missions, just needing a way to blow off steam. He tends to be a little rough with you, but only with your consent.
He isn’t interested in any relationship or attachments so he is quite happy with your arrangement.
Soap
You and Johnny had been friends for super long before you eventually got closer to him. It was just supposed to be a sleepover so you could binge some horror movies together, but at some point his hand had ended up on your thighs, then you had ended up in his lap and the moment you started kissing you both knew it was over.
Except for having sex not much has changed between the two of you, most of your hookups still happen during movie nights or other friendship hangouts that you would have had before starting to sleep together.
It’s becoming a problem when people start asking questions since neither of you pay any attention to the movies you’re supposed to be watching. “Oh, you watched (...) on the weekend, right?? How was it?” “Uh… Good… I think.”
You are so casual and comfortable with each other that there was never really a phase of awkwardness between you two, it just felt natural.
He honestly doesn't care if anyone finds out, is the type to pull you into a supply closet for a quickie.
Price
You are both very happy with the arrangement, even though except for missing full commitment you are basically in a relationship.
He will always make sure you know you are taken care of and that you know how much he appreciates you, take you out for dinner or cook for you, get you gifts.
Compared to the others, your relationship is a little more mature and less impulsive, you had been friends for a long while, tried to date but didn’t quite work out. Still, you both had to admit you enjoyed having sex with one another, so you just decided to go back to that part.
He’ll check in with you often to make sure you are still happy with the situation and it is understood that if either of you ever find a serious relationship you’ll have to stop.
He likes to make sure he has his time with you, whenever you have a "date" he wants to have the whole day off.
Gaz
It was supposed to be just a friends with benefits situation but failed almost immediately. You both tried so hard to keep it casual but it was a lost cause from the first time.
Gaz used to have hookups quite often when off duty, but now that he has you, he doesn’t really want or need that anymore. He doesn’t want to admit it to himself, let alone you, but he’s kind of obsessed with you.
At this point you are spending so much time at each other’s places that you might as well move in, but both of you are afraid to suggest taking the next step because that is not what we agreed on.
He is so sweet, always taking his time with you, making sure you are the priority and that you feel well taken care of.
So good at giving oral.
König
You’re one of the few people from his past that he is still in contact with and though you don’t get to see him often, it’s a good time whenever you do.
It’s good for him to have someone from his childhood that can give him a reality check and make sure he doesn’t forget where he came from when he needs it.
He isn’t the best at communicating, which your situation requires a lot of, so you run into problems at times. You don’t see each other often, most of the time there is a lot of distance dividing you, plus the time zones, so there is a lot to be navigated.
He likes and appreciates you a lot though, so you make it work somehow.
Most of the time he is super gentle with you and will do whatever it takes to make sure you finish first, however there have been situations where he just needed to use you to get some negative emotions out of his system after a failed mission.
Alejandro
He always said he wasn’t one for casual sex, that he was made for relationships, but he had to learn that that just isn’t fully true. Once you and him started sleeping together he had to realize how convenient it was to have someone to help him have his needs met without the responsibilities that come with actual relationships.
He’s a great lover, extremely attentive, very loving, and skillful at what he does. He’d never be selfish and only get himself off.
Rudy
You have been friends with benefits for as long as you can remember, so the communication between the two of you is great since you just know each other so well.
It started when you were joking around with him after a bad date how dating around wasn't worth it just to have mediocre sex with people you barey liked and he got competetive about it.
"Bet I could do better." (He in fact could and did do better)
You don’t sleep with each other that often, just once every few months when you both feel like it. Most of the time when you hang out, things stay strictly platonic, that is just the way things work out for you.
Valeria
She doesn’t have many friends that she can actually trust, so she was terrified to push your relationship any further than a friendship. She didn’t want to risk losing you, one of the few people who knew her before the army, before the cartel.
Still, one thing led to another and she’d never want to go back to before. She knows you might not fully support her work in the cartel, but that you still feel nothing but loyalty for her.
She doesn’t have time for an actual relationship and also wouldn’t want to put someone in danger of getting caught up in the crossfire of cartel dealings, so you being fairly low-commitment for her is ideal.
She can be a bit of a selfish lover, but you adore pleasuring her, so it all works out in the end.
#call of duty imagine#call of duty x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#soap x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#könig x reader#konig x reader#gaz x reader#kyle garrick x reader#cod fanfic#cod headcanon#ari writes#alejandro vargas x reader#valeria garza x reader#rudy parras x reader#i think i might just do kinktober like this it is much more fun than actual fic writing#I will probably post the fics at some point though#most of them i've started writing already anyways so it'd be a waste otherwise#sorry for the chaos :((
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i have left
hey everyone this will probably be the last thing i post on this blog albeit im keeping it up for resources.
im eternally grateful for how this community has helped me through prostitution and everything, i have amazing mutuals and i have learned so much 💜
but it has become toxic. many of yall cant handle disagreement and default to being as condescending and obnoxious as possible. one of us calling out a post is not enough, we have to dog pile everyone with a slightly shitty opinion. some of yall have severely lost the plot if you ever had it in the first place. not everything is that serious, especially when it comes to online drama.
im sick of it. so many engage in the same bullshit we accuse online trans activists of. this is an echo chamber. so many just mindlessly parrot slogans and arguments. what im very sick of is seeing single tweets or posts by a nobody, usually anonymous, being spread as receipts and shit. you know how annoying it is when everything a self proclaimed terf somewhere on social media says is taken by trans activists at face value and representative of the community when theyre not even radical feminist, just transphobic? yeah. yet a lot of yall do the same by saving and sharing „receipts“ where some random person who claims theyre trans (or not even) says some fucked up or out of pocket shit. you will always find people like that online, from any politicial „camp“ or ideological alignment!
a lot of yall seem to think that debate is about winning and not like, having an exchange of arguments and let the audience come to their own conclusion
and i just dont hate trans people. in fact i feel kinship to any female or homosexual trans person, anyone except heterosexual males. many of yall dont even realise how male centered you are when you more or less equal the trans community to heterosexual men who have a fetish for humiliation and forced feminisation or whatever. who exist and are an issue and i do wish the trans community at large would distance themselves from those men, but its not all there is to it. yes i agree that we need to protect vulnerable young people, girls and especially lesbians and gay boys, from being pushed into transitioning, i think the age of consent should be put at 21 or something, but we have to acknowledge and consider that there are people who have already transitioned and will transition in the future and i just dont understand how you cant have any empathy for them. no matter what you think about transition, many trans people ARE vulnerable and marginalised. plus consider how many detransitioned women are in this community yet yall talk about trans people as mutilated and shit its gross. in the end we can only try to establish structures that keep people from self harming, but an adult of sound mind has the right to do so anyways, including plastic surgery and trans surgeries. and i want to keep my arms open to them; but a lot of rhetoric around it spread on here will only alienate them further.
right now im saving all my essays in notes so its out of my mind. i have missed the community a lot so maybe i will return at some point but i have also been feeling better since i stopped being on radblr. i miss the rare valuable input and thoughts by other women but overall i have felt unaligned with how things have been handled on here. it has been mostly negative instead of constructive and pragmatic. ive had the impression some of yall enjoy the „being in the in-group“ community aspect more than actually being here for feminist exchange. lack of nuance, lack of empathy, lack of reason. it pains me but i have more and more come to understand why people just block us without engaging on general suspicion because ive also come to be annoyed with some of yall engaging with posts - and im on „your side“.
anyways im doing okay, im going to drug counselling regularly now and am trying to establish a stable life for those of you who inquired, and i hope anyone reading this is self reflected enough to know whether this applies to her or not. bye
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i put a lot more time into my piece for the serenity zine than I usually do, so ive been wanting to make a write up with more details about what i was intending + stuff thats easy to miss (full piece without the character names can be seen here)
[ID: a drawing centered on a young kim dokja writing in a notebook, surrounded by paper cut outs of ways of survival characters. there are names next to the cut outs to clarify which characters are which. End ID]
1: text on the characters
the text on all of the characters are all quotes from orv. for characters from specific rounds, the text is specifically linked to those rounds (ex: 1863 uriel has text from when kdj is thinking about how gabriel isn't aware of her own betrayal of eden). Where i could, i tried to find text that paralled kdj somehow (sp with changing the 999th worldline, and 41 sys with her resentment towards yjh paralleling kdj's towards lsk for leaving him behind.).
for characters that aren't from specific worldlines (or where i couldn't find text i wanted to use that related to their worldlines) , the text either centers something i feel is central to orv (ex jhy talking about the final wall is used in both of her cut outs), kdjs perception of the character or thoughts of them from wos (ex lsh and his line about not really knowing her), or something about the character that parallels kdj (bihyungs cut outs are both about his ending of sacrificing himself, yma is about yjh leaving in the epilogue and her belief he won't come back (which works doubly as yjh leaving as kdj often did, and yma being left behind by her guardian)).
there is also sunfish yjh. who only says "the sunfish" because of the constraints of being a tiny piece of paper. The full quote is "Maybe I had been lucky until now. I might be the 'sunfish' rather than yoo joonghyuk" from chapter 38.
i don't think everything like, perfectly follows these categories, but that was the intent for the most part. One intentional exception is that the yjh near the bottom of the drawing has the text: "I want to read this story for a little bit longer"
if you want to read all the text, I have it up on a doc here. (you can also ask me about thoughts behind specific quotes if you want to know why i chose them)
2: amount of characters + visual details
there are 2 versions of each character for the most part, with 4 exceptions: kdj (3), yjh (6, counting the sunfish but not the kkoma), and na bori and knw only having 1.
the reason there's only one na bori is because her fate is, for the most part, set before her story can be changed by yjh. there is only 1 of her in all of the characters memories, outside of the 1865 worldline (though given we see knw after kdj kills him, its not out of the question there isn't a worldline where she reappears.)
for kim namwoon, its part because of kdj's hatred for him as someone he sees himself in, and part because kdj in orv like. replaces knw pretty directly by killing him and trying to become yjh's companion. so in kdjs notes and doodles based on wos, knw is here only as an outergod king, where kdj is unaware of him.
the outer god kings all have at least one element that sets them apart from the other cut outs: sp has his crumpled paper cloak, knw's cut out is in the shape of dragons near the edges, uriel is on fire, lhs is partially tin foil, and ljh has a water stain and some of her paper is peeling off into water. this represents them being unbound from the worldlines, but since they're still bound to the story they're still made of paper.
anna croft (near uriel) is intentionally a little more 3D than the other characters, since she has memories from past worldlines. she's supposed to seem like shes going against the tide.
1863 uriel is also a bit of an exception, though not intentionally, since her halo looks better as a separate piece of paper, and i wanted her to have flames too... it fits because shes a constellation and seeing the story from a somewhat outside perspective but is still a part of it, but it wasn't intentional.
near the edges of the piece towards the right, some characters outlines start to become faded, and the paper cut out outlines become more irregular. the outer god kings are exempt because they've managed to keep their sense of self to an extent outside of the worldline.
some of kdjs books are from his library in orv.
the text for all characters is slightly cut off (i tried to make it so most of the quotes are missing some texts so you can't actually read them in full). this is both because they're cut out of a larger page, and because kdj can't actually learn everything about the characters once he meets them by reading them because you can't read people like that. so some of the text is out of view because the characters are viewed as characters to kdj and not "real" yet, so kdj doesn't see their full stories.
some concept art + one of the earliest digital sketches i have. all of my works in progress have a billion notes left on them so i know not to forget something when i get back to them:
[drawing of yjh made of paper, and an earlier sketch of the overall piece]
i sort of wish i kept the paper style of this yjh, but it wasn't meant to be....
3. final thoughts........
this really is the most... orv piece i've ever done (?), in a lot of ways. there is nothing that makes you feel more like kdj like searching up orv quotes from memory and then scrolling through the epub on your phone to find what you want. i even ended up explaining it to my mom and having to show her what a sunfish was.
there are things i would change about it if i did it now (i would probably erase the outline from adult kdjs cut out and emphasize his shadow falling on it instead), and things i didn't get to do that would've made it more like what i envisioned (ideally i would've reread all of orv to find quotes. and i didn't do that).
It's personal to me in ways that are kind of silly. I used to doodle a lot of paper cut out creatures in high school, which helped a lot with getting the sort of paper movement down here. and of course the handwriting is just my own, so i had to actually rewrite the quotes i found. it's probably the most ambitious piece i've drawn yet composition wise, and i don't think ive spent so long on a single illustration besides art studies for school. It feels like a love letter to everything orv means to me.
if you've read this far, thank you :)! i don't normally go into this much depth about my thought process, but there's a lot here i don't expect people to pick up that i wanted to get into
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again, sorry ive been on a rick and morty grind recently and since they take place in the same universe... i'm thinking of an au where theres a Stan and Ford running a Rent/Buy-A-Stan sort of pimp business, the way i've seen aus of Ricks that would whore out their Mortys, except this Ford's Stan is very much calling the shots here.
I've seen this concept done before in a fic, where Ford runs it by himself but honestly? I think having Stan be half of the main head of the operation makes it so much more interesting, not just because he's literally selling out his own, but also because he knows his Ford, and knowing him means he knows how a lot of them work.
This Stan is charismatic, business savy, selfish and most importantly: appeal to Fords weaknesses. Fords in general are very weak to Stanleys, and so many of them wander through the multiverses alone and miserably missing their own Stans, many lost, many not having repaired relationships with their Fords, many dead. A couple of strong willed ones can move on, but lots not so much. And here's a Stan, running a little business where you can borrow any different Stan they want, at any age, at any time and as many as they can for whatever reason they want. Some Fords jump at the chance, but some are a bit more guilt stricken, unsure.
So this Stan looks into their eyes, takes their super unique yet identical to a million six fingered hands and says "Hey, are you kidding? There aint nothing wrong with this. Trust me, these guys want a Ford to call their own. They want you, Sixer. I would know" and they believe him, all those geniuses falling for the sweet talk of a version of their brother thats a bigger con artist than their own.
Besides, its not a complete lie. Some of those Stans are happy participants, happy to get with a Ford that isn't like their own, either resentful or dead or worse. Many of course were all kidnapped and memory gunned down by the main Ford. Many get into happy homes with their new brothers, many become lovers to theirs, some die, some come back more traumatized and rejected.
Its no skin off the Stanley's back when he's making bank off of weaker willed versions of his brother, and it sure isn't on this Ford's. There's only one for him after all.
(and it goes without saying... this Ford is really really eager to point his guns at any other Ford who thinks they can request his Stanley. His is strictly off limits. not that itd stop Stan if he wanted to tho but his Ford's possesiveness is hot)
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WARNINGS: Drugs/drug use, liiitle peer pressure, touchy rafe, best friends brother.
Summary: You finally go to a party with Sarah but when you go to the bathroom you find Rafe.
1.5k words
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Sarah has to be the sweetest person I know. She always ensures I’m involved in her family events knowing I don't have a family. She’s my only friend sure but I never needed more. Usually when she begs me to come with her to a party I refuse and that's the end. But this time I don't think she’ll let it go.
“You can't bail on me this time,” she says desperately. “Oh, actually I can. There's no way I'm going. It's gonna be kook central.” I say right back to her with my hands on my hips. She looks at me with mischievous eyes and crosses her arms, “You may as well be one sweetcheeks”. Immediately I looked at her like she was crazy, “Oh yeah you're so right except somethings missing… hm I wonder what it is. Oh that's right MONEY”.
She rolls her eyes but lets out a small laugh, “You know what I mean, plus money isn't everything you know”. “I had no idea my best friend was a profound philosopher,” I say sarcastically. I let my arms drop beside me and let out a long dragged-out sigh. “You know what, this one time Sarah-” before I could finish she let out an excited scream and gave me a bone-crushing hug. “I knew you couldn't resist me for too long,” she says as she wiggles her brows. I simply chuckle and you puff out “Yeah yeah let's get this over with”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
I didn't have lots of clothes and what I did have wasn't necessarily for partying. So Sarah gave me something to wear for the night. It wasn't my style and more revealing than I’m used to but it will do. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I stuck beside Sarah like a love-struck puppy.
When we got there the music was so loud I could feel its frequency in the air it smells. The amount of sweaty bodies was overwhelming and it was obvious that this was a kook party. Beside me, Sarah gleamed with excitement but my face showed clear uneasiness. “C'mon I promise this will be fun!” she has to yell so I can hear her. She takes my hand and gets herself and I a drink before meeting up with some of her friends.
Before we get to them I tell her I needed to use the bathroom. It was more of an excuse to regroup myself. The house was huge and every corner was filled with rich snobs. Sarah was rich too but she's not one to flaunt it. Bumping against bodies and bodies I was able to find what might be a bathroom door.
I reached for the door and turned the nob, it wasn't locked so it should be clear to enter. When I opened the door, it was just my luck, someone was in there hunched over the vanity sniffing what I can only assume is coke. Noticing me he straightens his posture and turns his body to me, sniffing and rubbing the excess in his nose. It comes down to me who this is, it's Sarah's brother Rafe.
“Oh-sorry, I just- the door wasn't locked so…” I stammered. “No no, it's okay… you’re uh Sarah's friend right?” he says sporadically. Now that I can see him, his pupils are blown out. He’s obviously high. “Y-yeah I am” I knew who Rafe was obviously and since I spent some time at Sarah's place I would see him every now and then but we’ve never talked.
There was some awkward silence before he asked “You wanna… try some?”, referring to the white powder. I’ve never taken any drugs before even when Sarah offered to share her joint you passed up on it. “I think I'm good actually” I reply, nervously chuckling. “It’ll feel really good I swear/Loosen up, I'm offering. I-I don’t think Ive ever seen you at parties with Sarah. ” he rambles a bit. “Yeah, parties aren't my forte…” I say back while trying my hardest to not look at him in the eye.
Should I? I mean Ive got nothing to lose and I need to try to have fun at least. “I'm not gonna force you to do anything you don't wanna okay?” he says as he grins. “Uhm maybe a little bit” I reply a little unsure and scared. I'm still in at the entrance to the bathroom and he pulled me into the room making sure to lock the door this time.
Before I knew it his body was right in front of mine with his index finger holding a small bump of the substance. The proximity makes my heart rate rise a little bit. “Sniff” he directed simply but he looked at me with curiosity. He wants to see if I’ll actually do it, he’s almost daring me when he tilts his head to the side slightly. His blue irises are much smaller than his pupils and I could feel the heat surrounding his body.
I look at his finger and back up at him. He’s still grinning and somehow it got wider. Before I could hesitate any longer I breathed it in quickly. “Atta girl” he praised. Immediately I noticed the taste growing in the back of my throat, bitter. With the small dust of remains he rubs it into his gums. He leans on the vanity crossing his arms when he asks me “How does it feel… good right?”. He looks at me all smug like using the distance to look at me entirely.
It feels… euphoric and like ive drank 5 cups of coffee. My body’s getting warm. “I feel like my brain is having an orgasm,” I say but it feels like it's out of my control, the sudden energy talking for me. My eyes are fixated on the wall behind him. He chuckles, “Are you good?” “Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm great actually” I swiftly say, my attention going back to him.
“You know you're pretty hot for a pogue” he walks back over to me. I don't know how to respond in this moment. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”, I was genuinely confused. Was he trying to flirt with me?
“I don't know is it?” he smirks, that doesn't answer my question but he puts his hands on my waist. That certainly wasn't nothing. I probably wouldn't know what to say if it weren't for the coke I just took. The sudden rush of confidence made it easy. “It was more like a backhanded compliment…” I reply plainly, shaky breaths leaving me. The mix of the coke and his warm hands on me has my heart beating out of my chest.
“The cokes getting to you, huh…” he whispers low in my ear, chuckling. His hands slide lower on my waist. I paused, unsure of what to do. Honestly, I don't have much experience around guys other than the guy Sarah set me up in high school for a dance.
When he moved his face back, his eyes flickered to my parted lips. One of his hands left my hip to grab my jaw gently. “Do you think Sarah would mind” he mutters with an engrossed expression on his face.
Before I could reply loud bangs came from the door. “Are you okay in there?!”, it was Sarah, my breath stopped. “I'm starting to get worried!” she yelled. I looked at Rafe alarmed, silently asking him for help. What would Sarah think if she found me like this with her brother?.“Tell her you’ll be out soon” he rushed in a low voice.
“D-dont worry I’ll be out soon!” I yelled back nervously. “Is there a boy in there with you?!” she replied. “…Whaaaat? No”, well that sounded believable. “You better be in there with a boy, get it onnn!” I hear her laugh and walk away. I let out a deep breath. If only she knew what boy she was talking about.
Rafe still had a grip on my jaw and a hand on my hip. My heart was beating so loud I was sure he could hear and feel it. “I-I gotta go” I excuse myself and get out as fast as I can, leaving Rafe in the bathroom. I try to catch up to Sarah knowing she couldn't have gone far. Finally, I get to her “Sarah!” I exclaimed. She turned to me “You better tell me something was going on in that bathroom miss” she playfully teased but my face got warm and pink slightly embarrassed. Nothing really did happen I guess. When she looks at me straight on, her eyes squint as she analyzes something.
“Shit are you high?!?” she gasps. My eyes are probably blown out, “…A little”, you shrug unsure of what else to say.“Wooow you come to one party and suddenly you become a drug addict. Where's the sweet innocent girl I knew” she says pretending to cry. I rolled my eyes with a smile “Oh shut it, Sarah”. We both laugh and she takes my hand to bring me to her friends.
I'm not sure what happened in that bathroom but I don't think I could ever look at Rafe the same.
Note: I'm trying to get better at writing. Accepting constructive criticism 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
#drew starkey#rafe cameron x reader#drew starkey x you#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe x reader#frat bro rafe#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe
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things i do to distract myself.
i dont usually post textposts, but i decided to do something different because, its november!!! nd we all know this months is when things go wrong and i've been struggling to practice self-care so here are some of my favourite things i like to do to remind myself i am loved, and perhaps give you all some inspo if you're in a funk too!! <3
listen to music i tend to have different playlists as i believe that the music you listen to dictates your mood. as much as i enjoy my jazz and classical, when im in a funk i need to be hype 24/7!! my go to's are usually anything future, miss stallion, glorilla, king von, tate mcrae, charli or carti. i need to listen to music that'll manifest success and confidence.
read i'll read anything really, just to keep my mind off social media BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO ROT MY BRAIN WHEN IM FEELING SULKY. im currently reading letters from a stoic by seneca - im learning plenty and its keeping me stay calm
body movement i love a good run, or a pilates sesh so i'll put all my anger and sadness into pushing myself to run an extra k, or that extra set. sometimes its nice to just clear ur lungs and ur mind, and it'll build my strength physically and mentally!!! plus i'll look even better so he'll regret ever ending things with me
visit the beach im a beach girl forever, the ocean has always been my best friend. a quick swim will alwayssss level me out. there's cute boutiques and my favourite açai place along the esplanade and i love walking down there during the sunset or sunrise to keep me busy.
annoy my friends i love my friends so much they're my everything!!! they bring me peace even if we're loud. there's something about surrounding yourself with positive and loving energy that i'll never get tired of, if i could i would give all my love in my body to them.
write ive always been a writer i think. i have to get everything in my mind onto paper or a document or i lose it. its nice to write in my journal about things im grateful for, things im scared about and things i want to achieve. as well as just what went on in my day - i think that now im out of high school im living a much more dramatic and different life to what i used to, so i need to process these things. also i write w a muji pen so it makes the experience so fun.
cry no matter how nonchalant i try to be, im a crier - even at the clubs (it gets embarrassing) but i find it a great way to rid my anger, sadness or stress - better out than in.
meditate ive only just started practicing this, but its very peaceful!! well duh i like to do it during sunset in the park near one of the beaches i frequent (so i can swim too hehe) and the sound of the waves, the people and life can kind of block out anything in my head!!
clean/re-organise my room organised room = organised mind!! (my dad taught me that one) but during this process i always find something that i forgot about and i get distracted, so it takes longer but i get the job #done
call my mummy my mum and i are close, shes my best friend so i tell her everything (except my tattoos and my ehem..rendevouz..) her wisdom has helped me in a lot of situations...i tend to write down the advice she gives me so i dont forget and fuck up. again :p
retail therapy maybe not the most healthy way of self-care, but it gets the job done i cannot lie!! sometimes you need to spend a little bit of money to sustain some peace in your life. you do need that glossier lip liner babe, get it, you deserve it.
ofc some of these things may not work well for you, but self-care is what makes you feel good!!! im open to new ideas of self-care so lmk what you guys do :p + thank you so much for 3 blessed years on this account, eternally grateful for everyone <3
#prettygirlformula#pink pilates girl#pink pilates princess#health#health blog#health and lifestyle#green juice girl aesthetic#clean girl aesthetic#clean girl#wellness#matcha girl#it girl#becoming that girl#that girl#it girl energy#self care#self care regimen#beauty#beauty tips#beauty regimens#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#hyper femininity#hyper feminine#fragrance#makeup tips#makeup#advice#fabulously feminine
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Long Way Home [Part IV]
[Azriel x Reader fanfic]
Synopsis: Y/n is the daughter of a healer in the city of Velaris. After a small incident, she moves to the House of the Wind to work for the High Lord, Rhysand. Everyone in the house seems to welcome her except Azriel, the second in command. Even though he is just blankly polite and does not acknowledge her much, she can't help but fall for him. Does Azriel return her feelings or remain unfeelingly aloof?
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
Read Part 1 here.
Read Part 2 here.
Read Part 3 here.
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
Part IV
"I'm seriously surprised that you've never flown before."
I levelled Cassian with a dead stare. "I don't have wings, dumbass."
"You could've asked me or Azriel to take you flying."
"I am also chubby and heavy to carry."
He scoffed, and in one movement, picked me up in his arms, bridal style. "Heavy, my ass. You're perfect."
I blushed and brought my hands around his neck as he directed. He stepped onto the balcony wall, and my heart thumped in the thrill of anticipation.
"Ready?"
I nodded, grinning uncontrollably. This was fun.
He jumped, spreading his wings to catch the wind. I screamed as we dipped for a moment before he soared high and steadied.
For a moment there, I was sad because I had missed out this experience. Not for long, though. Cassian weaved through the highest parts of the city, laughing along with me. He circled around the perimeter of the city and then went beyond, above a thin ribbon of a stream. Here, he swooped down sharply, and my stomach plummeted along.
While we were just a little above the water's surface, he tilted me and let my feet dangle in the cool water. It made me giggle, and soon enough, he was soaring above again and returning to the city. He flew for some more time, until he was tired and deposited me on the balcony.
My legs trembled as I walked over to a seat and flopped down. Cassian had to leave because Rhys was summoning him, and I thanked him profusely before he left. He was very sweet, and this short trip was amazing. I spent the rest of the day in a daydream, packing a small suitcase to take home since I was spending the next two days with my father.
When I was packing some toiletries, Amren knocked on the open door.
I waved her over to one of the chairs. "Come in."
My quarters was mostly empty now, I had shifted everything except the ones I immediately needed. She looked around and perched elegantly on the chair and lifted her head at me.
"Why are you leaving?" She asked bluntly.
My hands stilled, and I thought over my response. I had planned to leave without anyone noticing, and I wasn't prepared in the event that someone did notice.
"Are you unhappy here? Do you feel unwelcome? What is it?" She asked again.
"The actual reason for my leaving is not valid, to be honest."
She leaned back and crossed arms. "Try me."
"It involves one of the residents here. It's not their mistake, it's mine. I carried a lot of unfulfillable expectations, and I just want to stay away."
I didn't have any idea what I was saying. I spoke one word after word without even thinking whether they made a connection or not. She stared unblinkingly at me and I returned it with a steady gaze. Finally, she stood up and walked out without a word.
I broke the news to my father at dinner the next night. He was very confused about my decision, as he thought that things at the House of the Wind were going rather well. However, he came to the crux of the matter quickly.
"It's about Azriel isn't it. He hurt you."
"No he didn't. They are all very nice to me. But I can't stay there any longer. The problem is with me. I have feelings for Azriel, and I want to go away from him since there is not a chance of anything happening between us and I can't take it anymore."
There, I said it. I didn't meet Azriel frequently, but I thought of him every single day. He consumed my thoughts ever since I've lived in the quarters next to him, even when he didn't look at me for more than a span of five seconds. I must've gone insane.
My father watched me in silence for a few moments.
"Alright. Let me know if you need any help. Stay safe out there, and reach out to me if you need any provisions and supplies."
I smiled, a bit teary as I reached across the table and took his hand. "Thank you."
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
Tags:
@kalulakunundrum
@thelov3lybookworm
@hnyclover
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
Read Part 5 here.
This fanfic can also be found in Wattpad, along with other exclusive parts like playlists and pictures. Here's the link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/358573037-long-way-home
Happy reading! <3
─•~❉᯽❉~•─
#writing#creative writing#acomaf#acotar#azriel fanfic#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x yn#cassian#fanfiction#wattpad stories#wattpad fanfiction#writers on tumblr#fiction writing#azriel x reader#azriel x femalereader#acotar fanfic#Elaine archeron#nesta archeron#amren#rhysand#prythian#Sarah j maas#short stories#azriel spymaster#azriel angst
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dame katelyn de feu my beloved 😭😭😭
more bits under the cut!!
katelyn first shows up to phoenix drop towards the end of season one under similar circumstances to canon mcd - jeffory's about to be executed for treason, and she's desperately trying to get his name cleared before he dies. however, when it becomes clearer and clearer to her that zane's using him as a scapegoat, she decides to turn on him and side with aphmau and the phoenix alliance ahead of the battle for phoenix drop.
in ashes, ashes, jurors were originally ordained through the bestowal of relics - however, after they went missing a couple of centuries after the first war of the magi, they pretty much became just. super politically powerful guards until about twenty years before the start of ashes, ashes, when the high priest of o'khasis at the time (zane's predecessor) figured out a way to bestow the powers of the juror relics to the jurors without using the relics themselves. anyway, its blood magick and it essentially brands the jurors with a seven-pointed star on their foreheads as a mark of the ritual being completed. katelyn hates what the ritual has turned her into - even though long hair is lowkey pretty impractical in a fight, she keeps hers long so that her mark is hidden (jeffory did the same, and garroth will also grow his hair out a little to cover his mark). when she transforms, a lot of the saturation in her skin in hair is drained out due to the magick not being suuuper holy (in fact, the first casting of the ritual upset the balance of the universe so much that it woke up the primordial gods n they sicked a plague on o'khasis that garte would later blame on tu'lan biological warfare). additionally, because the magick of the ritual sort of like. blends in? with any magicks or witchcraft already present in the juror their juror form will reflect this - katelyn has fire magicks, so when she transforms, her hair turns into this sort of sickly pale blue fire. her fire is hot enough that it burns blue anyway, but yeah.
katelyn burns her juror armour the minute she can once everyone gets out of the irene dimension. for a while, she just wears whatever she can scrounge up from around phoenix drop, but when cadenza finds out about this she gives katelyn this outfit! it's definitely done out of the kindness of her heart, there definitely aren't any ulterior motives don't worry. it's a lot more of a mercenary-ish look compared to her juror armour, but katelyn likes it just fine - especially since a certain flame-haired seamstress with a winning smile made it especially for her.
a little headcanon i have about katelyn - i feel like even though she isn't great at sewing, having grown up in a minor noble house in o'khasis, i feel like she would have some skills with textiles. specifically, i feel like she'd knit and/or crochet in her down time! before everyone heads out to gal'ruk, she knits everyone some mittens/scarves/socks/etc. not sweaters, though - she's loathe to admit it, but she's a firm believer in the sweater curse. otherwise, nothing much changes except that she throws on a coat and calls it a day - i like to think that, similar to laurance, she runs a little hotter than most people due to her fire magicks sort of acting as a bit of an internal furnace, so she doesn't need to bundle up quite as much as the others.
her day-to-day outfit is pretty much her standard guard outfit without the armour. she does wear an underbust corset/belt/thing with a small pouch attached, though - its very useful for carrying around knickknacks n stuff. otherwise, there's not much else to really comment on? idk. i probably shouldve added in some scars on her arms but its 11:30 pm at the time im writing this n ive spent way too long on this dang ref sheet already so yeah.
i decided to change up her conqueror form quite a bit - the form i drew in my original lineup of the second war's divine warriors wasn't really katelyn n looking back on it i shouldve spent more time trying to get it right. anyway, katelyn's mother was from southern tu'la, and was from a merchant family with some distant blood ties to the royal family - katelyn is technically related to the king of tu'la, but the relation is so distant that she doesn't really consider him (or any of the tu'lan nobles, really) to be blood relations. it's through this lineage, though, that she's able to resonate with menphia's relic, although it definitely helps that she's the second war's incarnation of the conqueror. mostly, the design notes from her first conqueror design remain the same - all i've really done is change the colour palette.
aaaand some headshots. i haven't exactly worked out how she got her facial scars - the big one was probably gotten on her first major assignment as a juror. however, it's nasty enough that when it healed it sort of fucked up her facial muscles - the scar tissue has permanently warped the right side of her mouth into a grimace, so anytime she makes a facial expression it's pretty lopsided (it's especially noticeable when she smiles). also, i changed the titling system for the jury to be more similar to the commonwealth knighthood system? like as much as i think "lady katelyn" is sick as fuck, the fact that it's the same title used for the female spouses of lords just sorta,,, didn't sit right? i guess? so yeah. dame katelyn.
anyway, feel free to ask questions if u want! :D
#....i may have been infected with the katedenza brainrot#anyway. i love mcd katelyn sm#she was lowkey a major part of my bisexual awakening#aphblr#aphmau#minecraft diaries#aphverse#mcd#aphmau art#aphmau fanart#mcd rewrite#katelyn the fire fist#katelyn the firefist#katelyn mcd#minecraft diaries rewrite#ashes ashes mcd#jury of nine
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