#except it’s more of a pain response because it *is* probably giving him a new human body idk

[ponds-of-ink]

I’m trying to sleep, but mmmm the FNAF Animatic potential in “If You Want Perfection” tho.

That song is 100% “William Afton getting duped big time (for once)” energy— Especially in one section.

[yuurei20]

Is it true that Cater is a playboy? I've seen some people saying that he's a Playboy, but I'm not sure if its canon. Thanks!!

Hello hello! ^^ Thank you for this question!

This was also mentioned a little bit in response to an earlier question about Cater's habit of flirting with people, which includes a compilation of screenshots of what is probably the kind of scenes that people are thinking about when they talk about Cater being a playboy!

But I think this might depend on your definition of "playboy" 👀

As of this post, the only canonical romantic relationship we have heard of in the game (on EN 👀) is Ace and his ex-girlfriend!

If your definition of "playboy" is "someone who dates a lot of different people," then "playboy" does not apply to Cater, as far as we know :>

What we do know is this!

His family moved around a lot when he was a child so, at some point, he started intentionally keeping his interpersonal relationships shallow rather than try to forge meaningful connections:

"That's why I always tried to be on good terms with everyone, rather than forge strong bonds with a chosen few. Like a circus performer who has a grand old time with people from around the world, and then packs up and moves on."

While never stated outright, it is a common theory that this is why Cater keeps Trey at arm's length during Wish Upon a Star:

Trey is already his closest friend, so Cater might be keeping up a buffer zone of secrets like what his true wish for the Star Sending is so that they do not become any closer, and their inevitable parting will be less painful.

Lilia tries to encourage Cater, saying that, in deciding not to get too close to any one person he may be the wisest one there, but Cater is not convinced that Lilia can truly empathize:

"Lilia's developed cherished relationships while living in the same place his whole life. There's no way he could ever understand how helpless I feel."

Another thing we know about Cater is that he might be feeling the loss of one, specific friend in particular! He tells Silver that he remembers making a friend at a new school one time, only to immediately learn that he would be moving away again the next month.

It is interesting that he mentions this one friend in particular--were they the catalyst? Was that the point when he decided that he would never get close to another person? We do not know 👀

If you are seeing "playboy Cater" coming from the JP side of the fandom, it is possibly because his speech patterns are that of a チャラい character on JP!

I think "flirt" is a decent translation for チャラい? 🧐 (It was localized as "shallow" on EN, and is the reason why Eliza rejects Cater during the Phantom Bride event.)

They are characters that talk/look flashy, seem shallow, and tend to flirt with everyone equally rather than picking someone specific to pursue. (Orange hair is common but is not required ww)

This survey of 3,324 people voted the top three チャラい anime characters as Moroboshi Ataru (Urusei Yatsura), Saeba Ryo (City Hunter) and Lupin III, to give you an idea of the チャラい character archetype ^^

And a common theme of Twst is: appearances can be deceiving!

Vil and Lilia seem to suspect Cater of having "a morose side that the rest of us never see" hidden by his sunny disposition, but Cater claims otherwise 👀

Much like Epel appears delicate but is actually the opposite and Lilia appears young but is actually old, it is possible that Cater intentionally acts shallow while actually he has a complex inner world--he is flighty not because he is trying to attract people, but because he is trying to keep them away.

More here! ^^

・Cater's Inner Life ・Cater's Childhood

To the original question: I do not believe that we have heard about Cater having any relationships (romantic or otherwise) at all except for one single friend from pre-NRC, which might not qualify him as a "playboy"! ^^

[cher-rei]

Hi👋! I was wondering if I could request a Gavi x reader fluff fic which includes this prompt “I have no idea what I’m doing. Oh God we need a real adult to take care of you”? Basically reader is sick and Gavi says the prompt. I'm new to this blog so I'm not sure if this is how you take requests. Thank you❣️

deep breaths- pablo gavi [ P.G ]

but I promise you this. I'll always look out for you [sparks- coldplay]

pairing: pablo gavi x fem!reader

summary: taking care of you when sick brings more anxiety for gavi than he'd thought.

genre(s): established relationship, fluff, slight angst

[wc: 2.2k] masterlist

notes: I was sick while writing this and I swear I felt the words float off my screen because my head was spinning like crazy. but this prompt was cute as hell so I hope you enjoy it xx

the house was empty— all the lights were still off, except for the blue hue from the swimming pool's lights that could be seen illuminating through the ceiling to floor window in the living room.

a heavy sigh left your lips when you shut the front door, your sluggish strides heavy and painful as you made your way to the couch so you could catch your breath after today's stress.

you were drowning in university work and assignments and have been staying in the library for excessive hours after classes just to get a grip on whatever was piled on you. this was the fourth time this week that you'd gotten home late which gavi wouldn't be happy about at all.

so when you saw that his car still wasn't in the driveway when you pulled up you thanked the heavens and the fact that he was still at pedri's house. he hated when you over-exerted yourself which you were prone to— being the workaholic that you were.

he never failed to give you a heartfelt scolding whenever this happened, telling you that you needed to eat, reminding you to take a break and even resorting to forcing you out of your chair just to rest with him.

but today you weren't ready for that, not with the way that your head was pounding. when you sat down on the couch a wave of relief washed over you and the urge to succumb to the tiredness sat on your chest but you couldn't fall asleep... you just needed to rest your eyes for a minute.

there was excitement in gavi's strides when he got home, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around you and not let go until the following day. he just missed you that much to the point where he barely said bye to pedri when he left and got straight into his car.

it was 8:24 p.m. so he knew you'd still be awake, probably in the kitchen baking something seeing as it was friday. every friday you could be caught baking something to distress yourself with a smile and the music playing while you hummed carelessly.

but that wasn't the case today because the house was eerily quiet. gavi didn't like that one bit and immediately called for you, seeing as it was dark. but when he got no response his pace quickened only to find you sprawled on the couch still with your clothes on.

not again, he thought and crouched down beside you.

"amor I'm home," he whispered and nudged you slightly, earning a disgruntled moan from you while you took a bit to wake up.

he watched you sit up with slight worry and it was clear that you hadn't planned on falling asleep judging by your confused expression as you looked around, until you were somewhat coherent.

you looked at your boyfriend with a lopsided smile. "hello baby, how was your day?"

"are you feeling okay?" he asked, brushing off your question and put a hand to your cheek. he wasn't pleased with how warm you were and moved his hand your forehead but you tried to pull it off.

you were screwed, to say the least, because you were burning up. before gavi could even say anything about the matter you pushed the fact that you were fine and tried to stand up. horrible decision. a sharp pain ran through your head and you swore you could feel it in your eye sockets.

a painful groan left your lips and immediately gavi was at your side, his hand carefully around your waist for stability in fear that you were going to fall. "oh no. I knew this was going to happen."

hear it comes.

your eyes shut tightly while gavi rambled on about you being sick, saying that you should have listened to him and not over exert yourself because he knew how bad of a toll it took on you. you loved him, but right now was not the time for a lecture.

"pablo I'm fine." you kissed the back of his hand reassuringly but he couldn't help but feel horrible. "I just need some rest okay?"

"I think you need more than just some sleep baby. this--"

you shook your head slightly, looking directly into his eyes so that he could see that you were fine. "--I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to sleep. there's no need to worry because I'm fine, okay?"

okay? as if. gavi could see right through you and even though he played it off, the second you hopped into the shower he was already halfway to the pharmacy with his phone in hand, his mother on the line for proper instructions.

he's never actually taken care of someone when they were sick before because funny enough he was always the patient. whether it be an injury or the flu you were taking care of him and now it was his turn to be just as gentle and patient until you felt better.

his mother asked him questions in and out— how high was your temperature? were your muscles aching? were you throwing up? all questions he couldn't answer that well because he just knew that you were sick and needed medication immediately.

"uhm she's hot...? I mean she couldn't walk so I guess so. I don't think she even ate enough to be able to throw up."

the panic in his voice had his mother stressing just as much but she stayed on the line until he got back home and wished him luck because she knew just how stubborn you were when it came to being sick.

when he got home you were sleeping, your eyebrows knitted together in discomfort which made him feel horrible. how was he supposed to take care of you like this? he didn't know what he was doing at all.

but gavi pushed it aside and decided to call it a night and left the bathroom light on just in case. he crept in beside you, making sure to place a soft kiss on your forehead that had gotten significantly warmer than last he checked but he didn't bother waking you.

it didn't take long for him to fall asleep, his arm loosely wrapped around your torso and it was a miracle that he didn't wake up because of all your tossing and turning.

beads of sweat began to form on your forehead and you felt light-headed but still tried your best to at least try and sleep. but you just couldn't, not when you felt this uncomfortable and were in pain.

at some point, you got up for some water to try and soothe whatever you were feeling but then the hot flushes started, and you were struggling to breathe. you were an utter mess, dizzily making your way back to bed while the floor spun beneath you.

short of breath you leant against your bedroom door— and the bang must've been loud because gavi began to stir awake, which was the last thing you wanted. he woke up to the empty space beside him and immediately shot up, his eyes squinted due to the bathroom light being on.

you watched his blurry figure get out of bed, not able to make out what he was saying by the overwhelming feeling of pain and discomfort drowning you. gavi pulled you toward his chest, his hand lightly touching your forehead and neck.

next thing you knew, you were sitting on the bathroom floor unable to catch a proper breath because you were so overwhelmed.

gavi was panicking— his heart racing as well as his thoughts because he just didn't know what to do. the closest he'd gotten to taking care of you was when you were on your period, and his routine had already been drilled in for the past two years you've been together.

he'd have your toiletry cabinet stocked, and your snack cabinet never emptied. your heating pads were always at the ready along with your tea. and your most important necessity— him. you took refuge on his chest in your moments of pain, his hand carefully places over your stomach to soothe the pain.

but this was different. he felt useless, watching you helplessly like a lost puppy.

"it's okay amor, I'm here," he said soothingly and set you against his chest on the bathroom floor, but not even the cold tiles could soothe your increasing temperature.

you fell limp against your boyfriend but fought the urge to break down. instead, a painful groan left your lips, one that had gavi holding onto you tighter in fear.

"it hurts," you croaked while trying to steady your shaky breaths.

"what hurts hm?" it sounded as if he was on the verge of tears and that had your heart shattered. gavi was paranoid by nature, especially when it came to you. so you couldn't begin to imagine what was running through him mind right now.

you took his hand into yours and put it on your chest. "everything. everything hurts."

gavi felt your shaky breaths and sat in silence, unsure of what to say— but he needed to get you that medication immediately. it wasn't going to have an immediate effect and he'd probably have to take you to the doctor tomorrow but as long as it soothed some of your pain.

he got up from the floor as delicately as he could, watching as you tried to sit up by yourself which wasn't what he wanted. "come here, angel." he picked you up with ease, cradling your body gently as you wrapped your legs around his waist and rested your head on his shoulders.

while he walked down the stairs he wondered how you didn't pass out on them on your way to fetch that glass of water. his mind flooded with thoughts like this until he made it to the kitchen and set you down on the island.

"pablo," you said breathlessly and your boyfriend immediately got through the last of your medication and set it down beside you, a worried hum leaving his lips.

he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and held the pills in front of you. you counted 4 and took each one as quick as possible, the water making no difference to the cooling of your temperature when it travelled down your throat.

by the time you were done, gavi had gotten a fresh cloth and began dabbing it on your neck and forehead. the two of you were enveloped in silence— your head spinning but your boyfriend's fingers resting on the small of your back, tracing small shapes on your skin beneath your shirt.

it was when you let your head rest on his shoulder that gavi felt the need to speak up, just above a whisper. "I have no idea what I'm doing right now."

your heart swelled at the sound of his half-hearted chuckle because for someone who didn't know what he was doing, he was doing a great job. he'd been so patient with you from the second he saw you lying limp on the couch. he held his composure and handled you so gently, taking the initiative and making sure that you felt at least somewhat better.

he didn't see it, but you did and were so grateful.

you left a light kiss on his neck. "don't say that amor. sure I still feel like passing out--"

"--are you serious?" he asked in shock, an upset groan leaving his mouth as he pulled away from you. "this isn't going to work."

"no baby--"

he was panicking. beating himself up for thinking that he could take care of you in this state, what did he know? he was only a child. "oh god, we need a real adult. someone who actually knows what they're doing."

you couldn't help but stifle a laugh at his rambling out of sheer panic. it was endearing in a way, your gaze softening at the innocent glint in his eyes because he was just so adorable. you urged him to calm down, your voice was soft and warm as you pulled him closer to you.

"are you not an adult, hm?" you teased with a smile and cupped his cheeks, and to your surprise, he said no without hesitation.

gavi proceeded to go on about how he still had you treating him like a baby, that you took care of him and that he was utterly useless when it came to helping you. of course, you strongly disagreed because you did feel better.

he stared into your eyes, trying to calm himself down while you reassured him. "do you not make me feel at ease? safe? comfortable? loved?" you kissed him on the cheek when he didn't reply.

"exactly, so stop being ridiculous."

gavi melted at your touch, sinking further into the crook of your neck for another moment before he took you back to bed so that you could get some sleep.

you rested your head on his chest, legs over his because you felt the need to be that close to him tonight. you felt sleep finally settle on your chest at the soothing feeling of his fingers running through your hair.

"I love you."

gavi's chest tightened at the suddenness. he shut his eyes and thanked the universe that you were in his life and kissed the top of your head. "I love you too, cariño."

[hxjikonn]

Could I request headcanons of Leona, Ace, Deuce and Jamil with an s/o that forgets everything except for their name, their favorite food and the boys' names?

A/N: Hiii! A little heads up, The Reader would be GN! Thanks so much for requesting and for being patient<3

——————————————————————————

Scatterbrain

☆Staring☆: Leona Kingscholar, Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, and Jamil Viper

Synopsis: Their Headcannons with an GN!Reader who forgets things easily.

Warnings/Heads up: There are some hurt to comfort parts but mostly fluff, harmless lighthearted cuss words, LONG ASS HEADCANNON, prolly not proofread.

Leona Kingscholar

We all know the stubborn king can be impatient and irritable so the great 7 decided to test him more when they gave him a s/o who forgets everything all the time.

He does this all the time that whenever you’d call him and he already has default questions he’d ask you.

“Where did you last see it?” “What were you doing last?” “When was the last time you saw it?” “Who were you last with?” “Did you retrace your steps?”

Before you could even ask him, your questions were already answered.

Thinks it’s cute and funny sometimes that you forget.

Like whenever you’d put a pencil behind your ear and then proceed to look for it 2 minutes later, he’d just watch you for a bit looking confused and laugh, then he’d tell you it was on your ear

Thinks it’s hilarious when you don’t remember irrelevant people’s names. The headmage of RSA went to greet you one time and your response was “Sorry, who are you?” you meant well but it was just funny

He usually lets Ruggie deal with his responsibilities, but you? No. He’s responsible for you, it’s rare that the students of NRC sees Leona far from you, he’s always beside you or behind you.

He snapped at you one time but never again, he was EXTREMELY MOODY that day so he tells you to go piss off and bother Ruggie or someone else instead.

He took a long ass nap and when he woke up the next morning he thought you probably have forgotten about it by now, breaking news you didn’t.

Leona started noticing you never came to him to ask questions whenever you forget about something, and when he was around you dont even speak or come near him that much. Strike 1.

He was on edge the whole day, he told Ruggie he wasn’t upset or anxious but his tail betrayed him when it kept swinging and hitting the floor making a thumping noise.

He told Ruggie to go get you, and when you arrived you didn’t even look him in the eye, strike 2, he called out to you and instead of walking towards him you asked him “why?” Strike 3.

He was now fully aware that you in fact DID NOT forget about him yelling at you yesterday. He stood up, went towards you, carried you like a sack on his shoulder and went back under the tree he was sitting at.

He sat down, sat YOU down infront of him and dragged you down to lay with him, he curled up against you and apologized. You apologized for being a pain but he stopped you and told you that you shouldn’t.

Was so worried he drove you away from him. Was 10x more clingy and controlled his temper a lot more, only around you of course, he couldn’t give a single flying fuck about losing his cool with other people.

Would kill people who snap at you for being forgetful, figuratively and/or literally depending if they beg you for forgiveness or not.

When you start talking badly about yourself for being forgetful or if you get stressed when you forget things, he’d calm you down by forcing you to take a nap with him and tell you that you two will find it when you wake up.

Ace Trappola

He wouldn’t be annoyed at all, honestly this is nothing compared to the ridiculous rules at the Heartslabyul dormitory.

He doesn’t really remember much either, he tends to forget things he finds uninteresting or unimportant too so he understands what you feel.

He’d help you find whatever or whoever you’re looking for, cuz if you ask him if he remembers he probably say he doesn’t, because he really doesn’t.

Thinks it’s funny whenever you two ask each other the same question in unison when you both forgot about something.

Since he’s the one who remembers more at classes, he helps you by going through the textbook to highlight important words so it’s easy for you to remember.

He knows it’s a struggle to remember what you review before a test so he takes the time out of his day to highlight words for you so it’s easier to remember.

Always takes it lightly when you forget about stuff, and just helps you find them but there was one time where he got angry at you. It was winter, He lended you his jacket while heading to school since you forgot yours, he was already snappy cuz Riddle gave him a scolding that morning.

He tells you to put it in your bag when you get to class, cuz if you forget it somewhere, both of you are going to have to go home freezing cold. You said yes and you two went your separate ways into your first classes for the day.

When the bell rang, he just got out from yet another scolding from one of the teachers, he had a bad day, he just wants to go home and go to bed. But he remembers he still has to wait for you. So he did.

When you got there, he told you to take out the jacket he gave you from your bag so you two can use it as head cover since it was snowing really bad. The moment your smile dropped he knew, and he let out a frustrated groan.

“You lost it didn’t you?” He asked you angrily, you apologized and you told him you’d go look for it but he snapped at you telling you to not go cuz it’s pointless, telling you that you wouldn’t remember where you left it even if he’d hit you in the head.

He walked home on his own, left you there. When he got back home to Heartslabyul he took a warm bath to calm him down. After he’s cleared his head, he realized it wasn’t fair that he snapped at you because HE had a bad day…so he got out of the bath, put some clothes on and went to call you.

You didn’t pick up, he thought it was fair, since he was a jerk anyway. He laid on his bed thinking about how he’d apologize to you tomorrow when Deuce came back from school too. After Heys have been exchanged he asked Ace if you had been taking extra classes, ace said no and asked why, Deuce told him he still saw you in your classroom when he was about to leave.

Ace stood up immediately, it was so cold out, why were you still at school? He grabbed his coat, put on a beanie, scarf and gloves and brought extra for you. He ran to go back to NRC, when he got there you were roaming the hallways, so he ran up to you scolding for staying there for that long. Then he noticed that you were clutching on to his jacket that he lend you this morning.

You were so frustrated with your forgetfulness you started crying while apologizing for being the reason why he got mad, He felt like he just shattered when he saw you like that, he gave you the tightest hug ever and told you it wasn’t your fault, and that he was sorry for being a jerk to you earlier. You two went home and he slept over at Ramshackle with you because he feels really bad for what he did he couldn’t leave you alone.

He’d repeat many mistakes, but not that one, he made sure he never repeated that one ever again, he always reassures you that you’re not a burden and that he’s not mad or annoyed with you when you forget things.

Deuce Spade

His patience capacity is literally so long it’s VERY rare that he’d be annoyed by you forgetting things

Would be so sweet about it too, whenever you’d call his name or go up to him telling him that you lost something, he would tell you that it was okay and that he’s gonna help you find it.

Would remember things for you, like where you put down your keys last, where you were about to go for the day, errand you needed to run, etc.

Doesn’t like you to fuss and get stressed over losing / misplacing / forgetting something so whenever you’d ask he doesn’t panic, instead he tells you to calm down so you two can retrace your steps

Is literally so proud of you when you remember something on your own, he’d smile brightly and praise you for remembering little things. He just loves you that much.

Would threaten to beat a guy up if they ever even think about making you feel bad for forgetting something.

Helps you with school work, though he’s struggling himself he knows that he probably remembers most out of the two of you.

He never got upset over you forgetting things, but there was this one big misunderstanding between you two a while back, NRC was going to visit RSA for a joint school event, and everyone was busy packing.

He was in Ramshackle with you, packing your things before he went back to Heartslabyul to pack his things cuz he knows you might forget important stuff.

When he was about to leave he told you which part of the school you needed to wait until they arrive so you can wait for the bus together, he also reminded Grimm but unfortunately Grimm was busy packing tuna.

Came the next day, everyone was already on the bus but you were nowhere to be found, Deuce excused himself to his dorm leader, telling him he’ll just take the next one with you, Riddle allowed it. And Deuce got off, he was worried so he searched the whole campus for you while carrying his bags.

He found you wondering around in a hallway and he was quick to approach and scold you about worrying him, turns out you were already frustrated from your own forgetfulness, but you didn’t tell him and just apologized.

He dragged you to where you were supposed to be and neither of you uttered a word, the bus came you two got on and sat down. Grimm sat on your lap asleep, you played with his ears so hoping you stress would be relieved but it didn’t.

It was too quiet and Deuce noticed that, he glanced at you to see you frustratedly fiddling with the ends of your sleeve, he sighed grabbed one of your hand and kissed the back of it.

He apologized for lashing out on you, explaining that he was just really worried, you let your head rest on his shoulder and also apologized for worrying him, he hums and kissed the crown of your head. You two feel asleep until you got RSA.

He always makes sure to tell you that he wasn’t angry at you, and that he watches his tone when speaking to you, so you don’t think that, Deuce would always resolve conflicts and misunderstandings between you two immediately.

Jamil Viper

He’s been taking care of Kalim all his life, you think he’d still be fazed by your forgetfulness? Not even in the slightest.

Plus he’s a virgo male for god’s sake you wouldn’t even know what’s going on in his head since his default face is 😐

Would always assure you isn’t mad tho.

Like Deuce, he’d remember things for you, but in his case he’d remember EVERYTHING for you.

What class do you have next? He knows where that is, and he’ll take you there

You didn’t drink water today cuz you forgot? No that’s not possible he always reminds you to.

Where did you put your phone down? He’s got it, he’d pick it up whenever you put it down and forget it.

Would find it cute that you forget most people’s names but not his, that means he’s left an unforgettable impression on you, which he still wonders what he did for you not to forget his name.

When he asked you your favorite food he was prepared to be met with a “I forgot” but surprisingly you told him, and he was happy you remember it cuz now he has something to cook for you.

When you misplace something the conversation usually goes like this: “Jamil do you know where I put my—“ “It’s in the bottom drawer of your cabinet” “I didn’t even say what it was” “was it your favorite hoodie that you stole from me?” “….yes.” “See? I knew” “okay thx love you” “love you too *continues what he was doing”

Whenever he’d feel like he’d reach his breaking point, he steps back and calms himself down before he starts an unnecessary argument.

He started doing that because he snapped at you by accident one time and he still beats himself up for saying the things that he did. He was having an extra stressful day because of school work and Kalim’s shenanigans. He had to deal with people Kalim accidentally offended by his carelessness with his words.

He had a pounding headache after defusing the situation and it wasn’t over cuz he still had school work to take care of, little did he know Kalim invited you because he knows you’re able to calm Jamil down when he feels stressed

But it turned out to be opposite this time, when he heard the knocks on his door it already pissed him off, so when he heard your voice call out to him his automatic thought was that you forgotten about something again.

He let out a loud frustrated groan so you were taken a back and you asked what was wrong. He immediately turned to you, glaring, and told you that it was you, he told you to stop being stupid and remember things on your own because he’s not you caretaker, he ranted about all the things he’s been through today and told you to never come to him again.

His words were only anger fueled, you knew that…but it still hurt a lot, he said it with such spite that it stung like venom so you only responded with a small ‘sorry’ and you closed his door and left Scarabia without uttering another word.

You didn’t see each other for a whole 3 days, you avoided running into him, looking at him, just avoided him in general thinking he was still mad at you. He noticed this because whenever he’d walk up to you, you’d turn around or walk right pass him.

He felt that you needed space and he gave it to you but he really did start to miss you, he knew about the things he said, he knew how it must’ve made you feel, it sickens him to his stomach that you had to hear that coming from him of all people.

Jamil couldn’t sleep at night, and this was the last time because he got up and went to your dormitory. He had to fix this, he threw pebbles at your window to get your attention, and it did. You poked your head at the window to see him standing there, you were taken aback cuz it was so late, so you went down and met him outside.

You hurriedly ask what he was doing out here so late and all he did in response was drop his head on your shoulder. He wanted to pull you close but he chose not to yet. He apologized and told you that he never meant all those horrible things, when you started crying he pulled you closer to him peppering kisses on your shoulder mumbling i love yous and I’m sorrys. He slept there for the night making up for all those days he couldn’t hold you.

When he remembers that memory and how he hurt you, he’d suddenly go up to you and hug you, reminding you that he loves you and pressing butterfly kisses on your cheek, just resting against you, until he forgets about it again.

[marcskywalker]

au where arthur first catches merlin using magic is when Arthur is injured come up with deep plot points here it's just the two of them out in forest, he's bleeding and slightly feverish, both getting increasingly desperate to find help.

Merlin tries his usual "perform magic while I distract arthur with a stick cause he is a 5 year old child" to heal/reduce pain for arthur he gets caught.

EXCEPTTT arthur thinks that it's the first time merlin is resorting to magic, and it's only because arthur himself is gravely hurt. He's oddly very touched by it and concerned about what this means for Merlin's heart, so he pretends and turns a blind eye (it's just one time nothing is going to come out of it. It's his bubbling fool, probably learned a trick or two from the druids or his sorcerer friend. He's not going around doing magic all day)

But, once he's seen it, he can't un-see it. The next time he's fighting off a bunch of bandits, he keeps track of merlin whose golden eyes are barely barely hidden behind a tree to stop a rogue 6 foot man from plunging his sword into arthur. Doing magic twice is dangerous territory, someone needs to warn his merlin about the dangers he's exposing himself to. And since he's doing all of this to protect arthur (and isn't that a thought!), it should be arthur's responsibility to have this talk with merlin.

"You've had your fun, Merlin. You can stop doing it now." "What?" "I know you get a kick off of breaking the law but magic is serious business-" "I have NEVER done-" "AND I appreciate you doing it for me. Truly, I do. But this needs to stop before we put ourselves in more danger. Alright?" "??????????????" "Good talk."

ofc merlin instead starts to see how much magic he can get away with (always saying that's a new trick he learned instead of something he knew from birth) since arthur doesn't seem keen on murdering/reporting him for it. except every time he does something, arthur looks like he's about to hyperventilate and pass out.

This continues for a while; Arthur will catch Merlin doing some magic mostly to protect him and he'll resort to giving a stern talk or begging or yelling at merlin to stop doing it. The longer this goes on, the cheekier Merlin gets and Arthur just gets more miserable.

He starts having nightmares of Merlin dying; sometimes caught by Uther, sometimes caught by one of his enemies. Other nights, he has nightmares of the magic corrupting merlin so much that the man beside him is unrecognizable (these are the ones that has arthur waking up gasping for breath with red rimmed eyes but you won't hear that from him).

something happens that pushes arthur over the edge to have a full blown breakdown in front of merlin

"I don't want you to corrupt your heart, Merlin. Not for anyone" the words are muffled between his sobs but Merlin hears them as though they're shouted from the rooftop, "Least of all for me. I'm not worth it. Please stop. I'm not worth it. Please. Please. I want you to be you. please... "

[seramilla]

More angst for the Homophobic Heaven AU:

The Exterminations, and therefore the Exorcists, didn't exist until thousands of years after Carmilla's fall. When they DID begin Carmilla and a few other Fallen Angels tried to fight back, only to be stopped and teleported away by Lucifer. He told them that the Exterminations were to cut down the sinner population, and while some of them questioned this decision, most accepted it.

Carmilla, on the other hand, was furious. And after the other Fallen have left, demanded to know which idiotic Elder decided that EXTERMINATION was a good idea. Only for Lucifer to tell her that SERA was the one who signed off on it. Carmilla refused to belive this, the Sera she knew and loved WOULD NEVER. Maybe she was just the one that the Elders put forth to negotiate the term? Yeah that MUST be it. Because if not... NO, her Sera would never agree to something this barbaric.

For Clara and Odette in this AU, I was thinking maybe they're Zestial's. After a couple of Beetlejuice Carmilla and Zestial get "acquainted" which results in the twins. They don't get together but they still remain good friends. Like an amicably divorced couple. He knows Carmilla is still in love with Sera and while he fills in the Father role for the girls, he makes sure to tell them stories that Carmilla told him of Sera, their other Mama.

"What do you mean Sera is responsible? She would never do this! I refuse to believe it!"

Carmilla stands before Lucifer Morningstar, king of Hell, embodiment of Pride, who is sitting on his throne, looking toward him as if he doesn't have the power to rip her asunder with a mere twitch of his claws. The amount of rage and anguish she feels at his words, the sense of outright betrayal and disbelief coursing through her body, give her a sense of bravery and defiance that any of the other embodiments of Sin simply wouldn't tolerate from their subjects.

But this is Lucifer. Her friend, her former comrade in arms, her brother, allowing her to show this much insubordination. Because he knows how she must feel, and it's not like he can fault her for it. Not one bit. Not when this news is so personal.

"Carmilla. I know this may be difficult to hear. But this information comes directly from the Elders. While someone may not be telling me the entire truth...until I hear otherwise, I have to work under the assumption that it's true."

"NO! It's not true! It can't be true! She's not that cruel!"

He's never seen so much anger in Carmilla's eyes before. Never so much raw grief and lack of composure; not from one of his oldest and closest friends. He can tell this is eating her up inside. Whether it's true or not, he can't say, but the news is having the likely intended effect on Carmilla. Heaven had wanted to wear them all down. What better way to do that, than for the source of the misery to be coming from the one Carmilla loves most?

Carmilla's companion, the demon spider Zestial, places a large, gangly black claw on the woman's shoulder. He's been standing behind her the entire time, trying not to get in the way of official angel business. He's only a Sinner, but Carmilla will rarely go anywhere without him, these days. Lucifer has permitted his presence, for her sake. He's quiet, studious, and well-behaved enough, for a Sinner. It's the least he can do.

Unfortunately, the ancient Sinner's attempt to comfort her doesn't work as well as he'd probably hoped. Carmilla steps forward, away from Zestial and closer to Lucifer. Getting up in his face. Breathing hard; pupils blown wide; for all the world like she wants to slap him.

She doesn't. It's not his fault. What good would it do, anyway? Squabbles among siblings is so beneath her. It would lead to nothing except more pain and anger between the two of them. It would accomplish nothing and make her feel even worse than she does right now.

She steps back again, her claws clenching even tighter together, and turns around to face away from him.

"I have some business I need to attend to," Lucifer says, looking up at her back that is now facing him, trying to distill the tension by offering himself a way out. "Again, I'm so sorry, Carmilla. You can stay here as long as you need to, to...compose yourself. I'll keep the others away."

Lucifer is gone in the time it takes to blink. He's teleported himself away from Carmilla's presence, not even bothering to use the door to his throne room. He likely doesn't want the others to catch a glimpse of Carmilla in her moment of weakness. She mentally thanks him for that, at the very least. Carmilla knows the way she's acting is very unbecoming. It's not like her at all.

But how is she supposed to act. When he...when Lucifer had...when he'd told her that news?

Without the presence of her king forcing her to keep it together, Carmilla's composure quite literally shatters. The woman can almost feel her heart being torn in two, as easily as someone might rip a piece of paper. With a sob of anguish, she falls apart, in every sense that a person can. Instead of collapsing onto the floor, which would be easier, she rushes toward Zestial, his arms already open and bringing her in to be sheltered by his heated embrace.

Carmilla cries, she wails, into the obsidian of his robes. He just holds her there, stroking her hair comfortingly, letting the long, loose strands flow through his claws like water.

Carmilla hadn't even had time to fix her hair this morning. That's how little she'd cared about the usual decorum of these angelic meetings. She'd told him she needed to talk to Lucifer right now, it couldn't wait, and he'd dropped everything, and teleported her right into the throne room with the seven Deadly Sins. Her and Zestial's presence hadn't exactly been...expected, but Lucifer had tolerated it. For her.

Now, as Carmilla's tears begin to soak into his robe, she grasps into the dark material with her claws, pulling a little too hard, until the fabric starts to rip. Zestial doesn't stop her, though. His robes have been through worse, and he's rather talented with a spinning wheel, so he'll just deal with it later. This is so much more important.

"How could she?" Carmilla weeps into his chest. "How could she, Zestial?"

"My dearest Carmilla," the old spider says, holding her closer to him with both arms. The hand on the back of her head strokes her neck. "We know not yet if the king spake truth, or if Heaven doth but jest with thee. Have faith, Carmilla."

"How?" Carmilla asks, bluntly. "How do I have faith in anything anymore?"

"When we are lost, and all doth seem hopeless, faith is all that remains. Heaven shall employ any wiles to make all appear for naught. Believe them not now."

Carmilla starts to calm. The smell of him, the smoke and ash wafting off the Sinner's body, is both familiar and comforting. She knows he speaks truth; Heaven cannot be trusted. It is not without precedent for them to say anything to drive a wedge between the fallen angels, or make it seem so hopeless, there's no use in fighting back. Carmilla is so embarrassed of herself. Like a child, she'd lashed out, and taken it out on Lucifer. Leave it to her oldest, dearest friend and companion to have more logic than herself.

Ever since she'd manifested down here, after Heaven had pushed her out, Zestial had been one of the few non-angels she's trusted. He's always been so different, more human, for lack of a better comparison, than any of her comrades that had fallen before her. They had changed too much, too drastically, for her to even recognize them at first. They'd lost their spark, their will to fight back...

Zestial, however, is a soul with as much wisdom as some of the angels in Heaven. He'd never lost his will to fight. In fact, it's one of the reasons he's lasted so long down here, and become such a powerful overlord. He knows when to show his hand, and also when to take a step back and assess. When to scheme, when to plan, and when to retreat. That's part of what she likes about him.

The fact that he's kind, patient, and loyal to a fault, is another reason. As well as the fact that he loves her so thoroughly, so passionately, and shows it, is yet another. She tries not to compare him to Sera, because they are absolutely not even remotely the same, but the way he holds her, kisses, her, makes love to her...it reminds her of her lost love, and the way she felt around Sera back in Heaven. But not quite. He is his own person, and had known going into this that there is still baggage there, that Carmilla still loves Sera, and yet...

He still holds her. Comforts her. Gives everything to the children they brought into the world together. Helps her keep that memory of Sera, a woman he's never met, alive for them, through his stories and fanciful tales. He doesn't have to do any of that. Gets absolutely nothing out of it except for Carmilla's endless gratitude and satisfaction. But maybe that's why he does it... Helping her and being there for her makes him happy. Carmilla doesn't think she'll ever be able to repay him.

Once Carmilla is calm, and she can look up at him with minimal new tears falling from her eyes, she can see his face is sad. But for her benefit, he smiles, ever so slightly, in that crooked, adorable way that he does. He pushes her hair behind her ear, away from her face, and then holds her cheek in his hand, to stroke it lightly.

"Fret not, Carmilla. All will become clear. Let us return to Odette and Clara. They are likely concerned for thee."

Carmilla nods. Once again, he's most likely correct. They'd left in such a hurry that morning, they hadn't had time to let the girls know where they were going.

"Okay," Carmilla says. "You're right. Let's go back."

Zestial nods in return, and then bends down, placing a final kiss to her forehead. It's not...romantic, per se, or platonic, either. It's somewhere in between. Or on a different plane entirely. It's hard to put a word to what their relationship is. But that's fine. They don't need a name for it. They are exactly what they need to be for each other, at this particular moment in time.

Pulling away, Carmilla wipes the remaining tears from her eyes. Then Zestial re-opens the portal, so they can go home to their girls, and rest off the stress of the day.

(Edit: Tagging @tanema123 cuz I know they love these two goobers, and who knows when I’ll dip my toe into Zestmilla again, Lmao)

[sirgogington]

My Word Vomit Response on the Shelby Situation

Main Situation: Last week Wilbur Soot from Lovejoy was accused of having been abusive towards his ex girlfriend Shelby. Shelby is a live streamer and last week she did a livestream about the signs of knowing if you are in an abusive relationship. She never stated his name, but from details given people started assuming it was about Wilbur Soot. A few days later Wilbur confirmed that it was him in an apology tweet on his Twitter account. The abuse had to do with painful biting, and manipulation. 

    I want to start off by saying I do believe Shelby's story. I don't think Wilbur is innocent, but I do believe this situation isn't as black and white as people are claiming it to be. 

    Former fans after hearing the story started unfollowing Wilbur and Lovejoy and saying what a terrible man that Wilbur is, and vowing to never listen to or view any of his content ever again. He's not just a terrible man, he has to be evil too. I may be optimistic but I do think most people can change for the better if they truly want to. There are exceptions, but I truly believe that Wilbur can. The internet wants to just label him as evil and not give him any room to do that. The new thing is "guilty until proven innocent" and that's super harmful as I will go into in a different post. The way people are spreading hate in a us/them mentality is not a mature way of viewing/handling this situation and does more harm than good. Especially when it comes to death threats and doxing which have been received by both sides.

   Wilbur is someone who had a hard upbringing, and has brought up at different times his struggles with mental health. On screen or on stage you would never know this about him, because he has this mask of being confident, well spoken, and joyful. Through these details Wilbur has shared we know that touring took a lot out of him mentally and put him in a bad place, but that he was seeking therapy and is probably currently still seeing a therapist to try and get better. He's shared in the past that when he first blew up on the internet he used alcohol to cope because of how overwhelming it was that so many people were consuming his content. From Shelby's stream we also learned that his living space was dirty and unhygienic and that he would make excuses for it. The details for me paint the picture of a guy struggling badly with mental illness and having a hard time caring for himself and his home. Someone who can hardly take care of themselves should not have been in a relationship. This puts a lot on the other person.  It's different if he were stable and then then his mental health crashed in the middle of a longer relationship, but not if your too mentally ill to begin with. I do deeply feel sorry that Shelby had to experience that, as it truly shouldn't have happened. 

   I went to school for psychology and know quite a bit about different types of mental illnesses. I am by no means diagnosing Wilbur, but I do think he shows signs of someone with Boderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder is an emotional disregulation disorder characterized by unstable mood, behavior, and relationships. People with BPD self sabotage and will frequently end up pushing people away because they don't think they're good enough for them. (In this case maybe he wanted to act so bad so she would leave him, which is very unhealthy). People with BPD also go through depressive episodes and can act impulsively. Without therapy it is extremely hard to cope with this condition but with therapy you can make great strides in changing. I think like most mental illnesses you are aware of the fact you don't like the way you're acting you just have a hard time controlling it. For instance for me growing up with anxiety I knew most of my fears were completely irrational but that didn't stop them from overtaking my life and still feeling anxious. Wilbur has written some really deep lyrics on his new solo album Mammalian Sighing Reflex and I feel like it reflects that he doesn't like the way he is and feels guilty about those he's harmed through it. Maybe I'm giving this man too much credit, but like I said I do believe most people are capable of changing for the better. 

   Shelby stated she did the livestream as a way to help protect other victims of domestic violence and Wilbur Soot himself. He might still be dangerous to the public, it's really hard to know. I know after my own situation with being manipulated I was worried about the guy going after other younger women like he had with me. I didn't want anyone else have to be in that situation so I understand where Shelby is coming from. I also know that if the guy in my life had ever posted an apology, no matter how good it was, that I still wouldn't believe him and have a hard time forgiving him. Bold take but I think his apology was at least decent. Could it have been better, yeah, but could it have been a lot worse, also yes. In his apology he admits to being the person Shelby was talking about. He states that her feelings are valid, and that he wants people to hold him to higher accountability, and that he was sorry for any hurt he caused. Maybe he isnt, but it's hard to know. Wilbur stated in a livestream from last October 2023 that he was going to therapy the next day, because of this we can assume that Wilbur has been going to therapy at minimum since October. In that same livestream he states that he showers once a day when he's in his "big sad", and that he has rented places all over Brighton. He is at least hygienic in this regard, maybe moreso than he was before. It could be a red flag that Wilbur has lived all over Brighton due to possible evictions whether that be negligence or noise complaints from doing livestreams.

   We'll never know how other content creators truly feel about him except for the ones that made it obvious. Of course most content creators are going to jump on the bandwagon and agree that he's an evil man. If they don't then they'll lose their platform because of all the hate they'd get. I do believe some content creators will still hang out with Wilbur secretly or still even remain his friend. But we'll never know. 

   For the people who are posting different video evidences of Wilbur supposedly showing signs of being abusive in the past this is what is called confirmation bias. If you believe someone is abusive suddenly you can find details in the littlest things to confirm your thought process. A lot of the clips I've been seeing have been of normal everyday behavior or confirmed bits. I've seen people say that Wilbur must have bit down really hard to leave bruises. In some cases people bruise more easily than others. I know I have random bruises on my body from nothing. We can tell that what Wilbur did however was pretty painful due to have to use a safe word. Getting bitten usually hurts. I've been bitten by a 5 year old at work and can't imagine how it would feel to be bitten by a grown man who intentionally bit down hard.

This could be confirmation bias as well, but when looking at the lyrics in Mammalian Sighing Reflex and at the album art it seems to tell the story of a man (Wilbur) who really messed up in a relationship and is feeling the pain from that, and has a lot of regret due to knowing he was the cause of her pain. He poured so much of himself into the album it's like he's bleeding out in front of the audience with the amount of vulnerability.

Analyzing lyrics because why not, using lyrics from "Mammalian Sighing Reflex"

"I get so drunk I can barely see." If this album is related to his relationship with Shelby, which I think it probably is, then maybe he tried to cope with the relationship failing by using alcohol, or sabotaged the relationship through drinking.

"A lot of friends have left my life, escaping my tractor beam of woe" Having a mental illness can make it hard to maintain friendships. This could be because it makes you so self-focused on your problems, or that people get tired of hearing about your problems. If you constantly talk about how sad you are, some people are going to have a hard time dealing with that, or get burnt out from having to keep on cheering you up.

"Fuck my life, you cared when I was sick, no one ever gave a shit.....you fought this war one-sided and asked me what am I doing this for." These lyrics seem to speak about how in a past relationship (probably meaning with Shelby), that she cared that he was mentally ill/in a low point and wanted to help him get better. The fight to help him get better was one-sided due to Wilbur not helping to get himself better. If he would have helped her then they "could of stitched my mind together."

"Never been the one for romance, never thought that I'd get married. Never been the kind to give a shared life a second glance, selfish prose." In Shelby's livestream she talked about how her and Wilbur talked about the possibility of getting married and having kids until he backtracked and said that he wasn't that way and changed his mind.

The song "I Don't Think It Will Ever End" is how his mind seems to work in cycles. He'll be sad, because he feels sad he hides away for a bit, but then he feels silly for hiding himself so he forces himself to interact with people. But then when forcing himself to interact again he feels sad, which he says is not a good feeling when you're supposedly in a good phase. He says as self-sabotage he gets silly. Wilbur is known for telling a lot of jokes, and maybe this is a way he masks his true feelings. Also for Mammalian Sighing Reflex it says the songs were written by William Gold (his legal name) and performed by Wilbur Soot (his stage name). Wilbur is who the internet/fans see him as and William Gold is who he really is. Meaning the way we see him online is the extroverted, charismatic, likeable guy we know him as whereas William Gold is introverted, self-sabotaging, nerdy, and a deep thinker.

     The internet gives us way too much information. We're constantly bombarded with more and more information. Before the internet and even in the earlier internet days you did not have this. People were not being as closely viewed and known as they are now. You have to be careful about every little thing you say, because God forbid you say the wrong thing and get canceled. It didn't used to be this way. The only reason you'd ever know anything bad about a celebrity is if they were in the news. I think most of the media we consume whether TV shows, movies, etc. have the potential to have us supporting "bad people". It would be overwhelming to look up every single person we had ever consumed media from and sift through what are lies and what are not about each actor, singer, etc. I get that people don't want to give a platform to people doing bad things, but it's almost impossible to know and to remove every single bad person from the content you consume.  Being a celebrity in general is hard. It's easy to become addicted to drugs, and experience toxicity especially celebrities that live in Los Angeles. Most become people they regret, but some change for the better too. I'm not saying people who do serious crimes should get out of jail because they can become better people. People in jail should remain in jail for serious crimes. Time will tell what becomes of him. If more about him is released or if he's able to actually make strides in his health like he said he would. We will wait and see. I really hope he can heal and get better. Even the most unlikely ones can change their lives. You can both support Shubble and hope that Wilbur gets better.

[strangersteddierthings]

No Regrets - Part Five

Part One🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six

This beautiful fic cover you see below was made by the fantastic, wonderful and lovely @skepsiss <3 Thanks so much!!! I'm still crying about it.

He jolts backwards, the burning in his chest hurts, it fucking hurts but- but it doesn't? He pulls in a deep, shaking breath and feels no pain.

"Steve?" Nancy asks from off to his right, so he turns to look at her. She looks concerned, and scared in a way he hasn't seen her in years. (Except it's not years, is it? Not anymore, or not right now?) "Are you okay?"

He shakes his head before digging his palms into his eyes. He's dying, dying, dying- he's dead, he has to be. The Storms are so toxic and he-

"Steve," Robin's voice is accompanied by her hands around his wrists. She pulls his hands from his eyes and he lets her. He blinks at her worried face. "Steve, what just happened?"

"I-I was. I think... give me a moment" Steve says. Robin nods once, a confirmation, but she doesn't move away or release his wrists.

He pulls in another deep breath and closes his eyes to think. He's trying to remember. He thinks he promised to explain everything after... after Pennhurst? Yes, he remembers. Promised that after Robin and Nancy got back from their trip to Pennhurst, he'd tell them everything he knows. It's... it is after, now.

It was yesterday that Robin and Nancy went to Pennhurst and spoke to Creel. They learned about Creel, and the music. They still got found out as fakes; Steve didn't remember what caused them to be discovered last time to be able to warn them against it this time.

He still ended up being bullied into driving Max around. This time, though, he already had an hour-long loop of Running Up That Hill in his car. They'd let Max go to speak to Billy alone, like last time. The boys paced around the car and this time, when they realize that Max isn't responding, Steve's already loading the tape into the cassette player. He shoves it into Lukas's hands and tells him to put it on Max, press play, and to not stop begging her to come back until she is.

Steve saw he had questions, but Max was more important. She floated, and fell, and Lucas had caught her. Then...?

Oh, right. Then, he did explain, yesterday evening, after everyone had crowded into the Wheeler's basement. Went over Vecna winning, Hawkins becoming ground zero for the apocalypse. Talks about a future with a lot of loss, but won't say who, as well as the slow decay of the air and earth. That you could breathe the air for small moments of time, but long exposure would make you sick. That even though they'd finally killed Vecna in 1989, too much damage had been done, too many gates opened, kept opening with every new death by demo-creature. El alone would never be able to close off all the gates. They were working on trying to create a reverse of the machine below Starcourt, meant to close gates instead of open, but the world would probably be a complete wasteland before they could complete it.

No one had reacted well to the news, but the yelling was a minimum, which had been a pleasant surprise.

In the end, Steve had told them they needed more people, more help. That he was going to tell Wayne about the Upside Down.

He opens his eyes, now, and looks around. The place is small, familiar almost. Wood paneling and- The Munson's home. They're in Eddie's home. Because last night Steve had come over. He'd come over and told Wayne everything because he couldn't do this again. Not alone, not as the only responsible adult.

The Wayne in the future had been so willing to help, when Hawkins ripped open at its seams, and Wayne in the present was the same. He didn't- he didn't even call Steve crazy. He'd said he believed Steve, that some government lady told him they were going to pay for him to be in a hotel since his home was an active crime scene, but Wayne'd refused. Eddie wouldn't know where to call when he got out, and what if he just showed up and Wayne was gone- well, Wayne found that unacceptable.

Now, Wayne should be his way back from Indy in Eddie's recovered van with the Byers and Mike, and they're here waiting on a call from Eddie.

Steve's not dying, or, he's not anymore? Or maybe he is, and this is just. What the end is like? Getting to put an end to your regrets or something.

Whatever. It doesn't really matter what or why or even how. He knows what is in store for the future if they don't stop Vecna today.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm back," Steve says, opening his eyes to look at Robin.

She scrunches her brow. "Back?"

"Back from the future," Steve gives her a lopsided grin and in return she squints at him, leaning in real close to his face like the closer she is the more of his mind she'll be able to read.

"You're a different Steve. Again."

"What?" Nancy asks.

"Again?" Steve asks.

Robin scrutinizes his face some more before backing off, just a few inches. "Yeah. It was- Saturday, when you just walked out of our shift after Dustin and Max showed up, you were different then. Not. It was- you know how we were just talking about how if only we could combine, our love life problems would be fixed?"

Steve does, but only after having to think about it for a moment. It was so long ago, but it wasn't. Not for the Steve he's replaced, not for Robin in front of him. "Yeah. I remember."

"It's like I didn't realize how much we'd already combined until we weren't anymore. It was like... like you were a completely different person. I thought it was just, maybe, a reaction to learning the Upside Down was back. But you got different. More haunted."

"You noticed a difference?"

Robin scoffs, "of course I did. You're you but it was. This whole week it's been like... each day brings a new you. With different quirks. Except yesterday was still all the same old-new you so I thought- I thought maybe we'd succeeded. Fixed whatever it was that needed changed because you hadn't changed. But we haven't yet. 'Cause you're back."

Steve shakes his head. "No. No, we haven't. But this time- we'll have the manpower."

"No, I mean, I just-" Robin huffs, falling back onto her butt rather than staying in an uncomfortable crouch. "I just noticed, is all."

"Are we making it better," Nancy asks, "or worse?"

Steve looks from Robin to Nancy. "I-I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean I don't know. I don't- I don't know what we've changed. Or if it's been for the better. Because I don't remember."

"Oh," Nancy says with a nod, the look on her face morphing to one Steve knows means she's working out the puzzle of it all. He'll leave her to it.

His attention turns back to Robin, who has her head tipped back, looking at the unopened gate on the roof of the trailer. It definitely cannot be mistaken for water damage anymore. "What are you thinking about?"

Robin tips her head back down to look at Steve. "Exactly that."

"What?"

"Sorry," she says with a frown, "I was just thinking about how we can't- we don't really read each other's minds anymore. I know we should be worrying more about the end of the world but I'm just, just being selfish. Worrying about our friendship."

"You are the only constant in my life, Robin Buckley," Steve confesses, a fierceness to his tone he doesn't even recognize. "You have been, and always will be, the person I need in my life to bother even living it. I swear to God, Robbie, that if anything ever happens to you, I will walk into traffic."

Robin lets out a laugh. "That's a bit extreme."

Steve shoots Nancy a look; he can see she's in her own world. He stands then, offering a hand to Robin to pull her up. "Come on. I have something to tell you. A soulmate secret."

Robin's eyes light up with delight and he pulls her from the ground before leading her to the only place they can get privacy. Eddie's room.

It's two steps into the room that Steve realizes he's never seen Eddie's room before. Or, if he had, the memory of it is lost with the time line it happened in. In Steve's memory, the front half of Eddie's home gets obliterated, and when Eddie and Wayne went back to gather the things that survived the gate opening, Dustin, Mike, and Lucas had gone with the help pack it up. Steve had been helping fortify the high school.

It seems ridiculous, to be hit with the thought of never having seen Eddie's room, with the threat of the apocalypse still looming.

"Alright, secret time," Robin sounds delighted, and her voice pulls him from his thoughts. She shuts the door and turns, eyeing the bed skeptically. "Hmm, standing room only I think."

Steve huffs out a laugh as he takes in the mess of a room, a room that looks lived in and shows Eddie's personality and the things he cares about. Nothing at all like his own room at the Harrington house; perfectly clean and matching and devoid of anything distinctly Steve. "Like you ever make your bed."

The noise Robin makes is clearly offended, and she smacks his arm lightly with the back of her hand, "uncalled for! Unprovoked, even!"

"Yeah, well, you're judging a guy who's been in jail this past 48-ish hours. Not like he had time to tidy up," Steve says.

"I think the state of his bed -whole room, really- is not because he didn't come home to clean up. In fact, I think he just lives like this."

"At least his room looks lived in. I mean, look at all of this on the walls. You think he drew these?" Steve says, hand reach out to brush against a drawing tacked to the wall nearest him.

"Your room could look lived in, too, if you weren't afraid of a few tack holes," Robin replies, crossing the room. Steve watches her go, approaching the mirror and the guitar mounted in front of it. She examines the guitar before picking up the red yoyo atop the amp.

"And here you were worried about not being able to read my mind anymore."

She turns to him and gives him a quick, genuine smile before turning her attention back to the yoyo. "So, what's the soulmate secret? You really good with a yoyo?"

"What? No. I didn't even know that was in here," Steve says.

"I thought you knew the future," Robin teases as she gets the yoyo to successfully fling from her palm and back into her grasp. She makes a little pleased noise before she creeps around the room, gawking at all of Eddie's things.

"I know one, specific future that we are trying to change, if you'll remember. I didn't know you could yoyo."

"Neither did I- oh my God, there's an Alf costume in his closet!"

"A what- no, nevermind. You can snoop and-"

"I'm not a snoop."

"-and listen as the same time, so I just. I'm gonna say something and please know that I have had five years to figure this all out, and also know that the apocalypse has a way of putting things into perspective."

"Mhmm," Robin hums an acknowledgement as she moves back to where she picked up the yoyo. "Why does he have a pepper shaker in his room?"

Steve ignores her, choosing to believe that was just her thinking out loud and not actually asking him. "Actually, the apocalypse was full of surprises. And I mean, beyond the surprises one might expect. Like, so many of our old teachers are survival experts. Did you ever have Mr. Clark, that guy- wait, no. I had something I wanted to tell you."

The phone starts ringing in the living room. Nancy's out there, though, so neither of them move to the door.

"Anyway, this feels so... why am I so nervous about this? I mean, I've already told you once, but, uh, I. I'm a little worried, scared?"

"Hey, whoa," Robin has dropped her investigation and turned fully back to Steve. "What is it?"

"I like Eddie," Steve blurts, needing to get the words out. "I like Eddie, and I died so now I think this is my only shot, like last last shot but I don't even know if he'll still like me back and I'm, like, ridiculously nervous to see him because, and this is the soulmate secret part because-"

"Whoa, what, what!!? Did you just say died?"

"- you cannot tell anyone, but I'm the reason he's been in jail. I called Hawkins PD and told them where they could find Eddie, 'cause if he was in jail then he couldn't be blamed for Fred's murder, but I've never had to fess up to that because, like, Hawkins exploding and life becoming an actual nightmare for years made it not important. Like, what's a criminal record in the face of no surviving government?"

Robin is staring at him, eyes wide and face slightly pale and it's now that Steve thinks that, maybe, he's not doing as well with everything as he thought he might be.

"Am I... okay?" Steve asks himself out loud, and that has Robin throwing herself across the room to clutch at Steve, drag him into a crushing hug. He hugs back, trembling and finding it hard to breath.

"No, no I don't think you are," Robin whispers, squeezing tight.

"Hey, that was- oh!" Nancy says as she flings the bedroom door open. "Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt-"

"It's just a hug," Robin says.

"Right. Umm, the phone was Officer Callahan. We can go pick up Eddie."

"Right," Steve says, pulling away from the hug and pulling himself together. He can have his mental break down tomorrow. "Let's go get Eddie."

Provided if that, this time when he closes his eyes to rest, he'll wake up here and not. Well, either in the future or not at all.

-

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @a-little-unsteddie @sevenmerrymagpies @steviesummer @queenie-ofthe-void @mycatsstolemybiscuit @lololol-1234 @synonym-for-strange @tchackdaw

[wildwinterlunas]

Ok I want to talk about Genji seeing Cassidy as a brother because I do think this has importance to Genji's arc. Specifically in Genji's journey in forgiving Hanzo and him realizing that not only Hanzo, but Cassidy too, have gone through a lot more then Genji himself realized at the time.

Let's start off with Hanzo, now it's no secret that Hanzo and Genji weren't close, especially later in life, but something I think is forgotten is that Genji was very unaware of what Hanzo was doing, how he felt and what he was going through. We see this in a few of their interactions;

Genji and Hazno, though they came from the same family, are from two very different worlds. Even after the amount of help Genji has gotten, when it comes to Hanzo he still seems to struggle a bit with understanding certain aspects of their past.

And though we don't see this shown at it's extreme with Hanzo, we do see it with Cassidy;

The first quote shows us that at the time Genji didn't really understand why Cassidy was upset, and when given an explanation (though simplified) he still didn't really empathize. Then the second one needs a bit more digging, see the first time we see Cassidy smoking in canon is in the Retribution after the Oslo attack and presumably after Liao death. After a traumatic incident. Now this may seem inconsequential but here's the thing, we see Cassidy and Genji banter in Retribution and we also see other characters be mentioned, so why would Genji not make a quip about Cassidy smoking if he had done it for awhile, or at the very least not mention at any point that Angela wanted him to stop.

To me the second quote from Storm Rising is Genji talking about a more recent development, or at the very least Cassidy smoking more frequently after Retribution (I don't blame him).

Now this isn't to blame Genji, during his time with both Hanzo and Cassidy he was going through his own issues, but it is important to note because Genji probably only realized what Cassidy was going through while he was with Zenyatta. Which would have lead him to think about other things he missed. Like the presure that Hanzo was under, the things about Hanzo that he missed before.

This point is even furthered by Genji seeing Cassidy as a brother because imagine the guilt he felt?

Imagine realizing you made the same mistake twice but with the second time you don't hold that same anger towards the person?

It also seems that Genji never really showed how much Cassidy really meant to him back during the first Overwatch. We also see that Genji takes a similar tone with Cassidy as he does with Hanzo, except with Cassidy it isn't just a short conversation but Genji seemingly wanting to help Cassidy deal with some of his issues and rectifying the mistake Genji made in the past.

And I honestly like the contrast this gives to the dynamic presented between Genji and Hanzo. From what I've found Genji and Hanzo only really have quick two line interactions, not only that but there more statements then Genji trying to help Hanzo through his issues.

And honestly I like this more then the common take of Genji being the one to help Hanzo through his issues, because Genji shouldn't have to. Yes Genji didn't notice the pain Hanzo was in, but Hanzo tried to kill Genji. It shouldn't be Genji's responsibility to help Hanzo. It's honestly why I like that Hanzo and Kiriko are being paired up more, Hanzo still does need someone to help him and it can't really be anyone new to him, so Kiriko is probably the best option.

Any way that's a little tangent from me today!

[aristocratic-otter]

Hey, for once I’m posting early!  Thank you to : @blackberrysummerblog, @rimeswithpurple, @monbons, @thewholelemon, @artsyunderstudy,

@roomwithanopenfire, @larkral, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @wellbelesbian, @letraspal,

@prettygoododds, @bookish-bogwitch, and @whatevertheweather (good to see you back!) for the tags over the last two weeks. 

The summer has been good for me. I’m getting organized and having more time to write! I’ve started the new fic I teased a couple of weeks ago (the one that I was waiting to start until Heart in The Well finished). It’s probably going to be my angstiest one to date, fair warning. 

Here’s one snippet from each of my WIPs 

From Saving Simon Snow: 

“So, you think,” Bunce says slowly, “that the act of casting a spell is calling more magic to the area?”

“Kind of,” Simon says.” His lips twist and he tugs at his sleep-matted curls as he tries to work out how to explain himself. Then he shakes his head. “Actually, no. Not calls more magic. More like takes the magic that’s already there and concentrates it. Gives it a shape. Like, Normals are the source of magic, right? And they produce magic in and of themselves, but they can’t use it. It’s just, like, loose and spread out around them as they go about their lives. But then mages, we use words to give that loose magic a form, and that pulls it together, right? Pulls it into the shape the mage wants it to have. And so doesn’t that mean that Mages are pulling magic from the magical atmosphere each time they cast a spell?”

From Snow Fox: 

Every nerve in my body is on alert. 

I sent the boys home. They’re probably not the reason I’ve been betrayed, but right now, I can’t trust anyone. 

Except Simon.

I need to get to Simon. 

But first…I need to make sure I’m actually alone.

From TikTok Dancer: 

He’s dancing alone. His friends are there, running the music and cameras, but they’re also different. Quiet and focused. Also, if I’m reading their expressions correctly, they’re just a little bit worried, as they watch Simon dance. 

The whole thing makes me feel unsettled and oddly light. Like there’s a bubble of helium in my chest that will soon lift me right off the ground. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that Simon Snow never takes his eyes off of me when he dances. 

From Stars, Flowers, and Children,

When I’m feeling greatly daring, I travel back to our home beach. I stop a distance away, and stay behind trees or rocks, but it gives me some comfort to watch the flicker of shadows in the firelight as Simon moves around performing his evening routine. It’s the only time I allow myself to watch him. If I see him during the day, my priority is to stay out of sight, but there’s little danger that he’ll go traipsing about looking for me after dark, so the darkness is my ally.

It hurts, to see him. But it’s a pain that fortifies me. After a few minutes watching him, I’m able to rest more peacefully knowing that he’s safe and well. The pain of missing him subsides enough to let me continue to live without him.

From Cupid’s Shield:

 “Baz, fight it. You have to. The anathema—”

Now I know he’s aware, in some form. I see fear on his face and tears forming in his eyes. But, at the same time, he’s reaching up to the collar of his own shirt, and ripping it away from his skin. 

That’s it. He’s helpless against Cupid’s spell. He’s going to lose everything because a fucking god with a grudge tore his free will away.

That’s probably my fault too. I pissed Cupid off. He must have hunted down Baz because I was immune to his arrows. That means it’s my responsibility to fix this. 

“Please,” he whispers.

From The Rat and the River

I’m aware that I don’t need to be out of bed right now. Simon Snow will be completely fine without me seeing him off. I could probably sleep for the hours the team will be gone, as there won’t be much for me to do until they’re back. 

Like I could sleep when Simon is out there. In the hot zone. 

It’s a sensationalistic term, “hot zone,” but it captures how I feel about the area of highest risk of infection. Hot, as in getting in hot water or hot as in playing with fire. 

Also hot as in Simon Snow is the hottest man I’ve ever known, even in a shapeless white positive-pressure suit, but that’s irrelevant right now. 

And from my new project, untitled as yet, the following: 

I feel myself slipping. 

Other than the daily cup of blood with a bendy straw, I haven’t seen light in weeks. Maybe months. And for the last several days or weeks, I’ve not even had that. I’ve woken up from a doze to find the blood already inside the coffin with me. I spend more time drifting, semi-conscious, than I do actually awake and aware now.

After all, there’s nothing good about being awake and aware. 

Tags and shout-outs to: @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @bazzybelle, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @palimpsessed,

@frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @martsonmars, @melodysmash, @moments-au-crayon22,

@moodandmist, @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean, @raenestee, @tea-brigade,

@upuntil6am, @whogaveyoupermission, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @krisrix, @shemakesmeforget,

@confused-bi-queer, @nightimedreamersghost,  @thewholelemon, @angelsfalling16, @noblecorgi,

@hushed-chorus, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @mooncello, @ic3-que3n, @shrekgogurt (happy birthday!),

@cosmicalart,  @cutestkilla (also happy birthday!), @theearlgreymage, @alexalexinii, @Iamamythologicalcreature,

@emeryhall, @ileadacharmedlife, @messofthejess, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @best--dress,

@nausikaaa, @youarenevertooold, @j-nipper-95, and @facewithoutheart

[rosequart]

really enjoyed the new spiderverse :) the kind of movie that makes me go "damn i love movies"

my initial non-spoilery thoughts

loooved everything about the opening sequence. gwen's watercolor world is so responsive to her state of mind, transitioning from pastels to darker shades to more water-drippy and impressionistic

the web-slinging/swinging sequences are so fucking cool. just watching miles move through the city is beautiful—the effortless way in which their bodies move along with the camera, the way the web looks; spiderman has never looked better. you just cannot do this shit in live action.

i never got tired or exhausted by the visuals (maybe except until the fight sequence on the rocket/vertical train thing, but that's more action scene fatigue) which shows how well the movie is visually paced

in clumsier hands the self-referential humor ("villain of the week") and multiverse explaining ("canon events") would've been such a pain, but it's implemented really well. they clearly know when to be comedic vs. serious. no "that happened"s here!

i think the first half of the movie is much better paced and themed—i really enjoyed the family drama and miles and gwen just hanging out. once they reach the spiderpeople HQ it starts to feel bloated

more plot/spoilery stuff under the cut

it's hard to discuss the themes because it's half of a movie—luckily i went in knowing that, i would've been upset if i didn't know beforehand lol

the vulture at the beginning was very cool. i want to see his leonardo da vinci world

fucking love the spot. a villain who desperately wants to be taken seriously paired with a hero who quips and doesn't give him the time of day, driving him further down the villain path. great stuff

the only live action bit i liked was with the convenience store lady from the venom movies...otherwise it was pretty jarring. i do not need to see crying andrew garfield in my animated spiderman movie

i was happy to see peni :) her characterization and design was one of the more disappointing things about the first movie so i'm hoping her larger role in the third installment will be more in the vein of edgy mech anime/NGE

the slow realization that miles ended up in the wrong universe was soooo good i felt so smart and shocked when it happened. "what's comicscon" indeed

this movie had like 5 different endings lol

the actual ending rubbed me the wrong way in the implication that a world without spiderman (read: law enforcement) devolves into Crime and Anarchy and i get that it's an easy way to mark the universe as The Bad Timeline but it still sucks imo.

...which is a weird contrast to the spider society where they're clearly doing a "miguel's strict law enforcement is harming him and everyone around him" thing but i guess the movie is just going along with the age-old good cop myth. also hated the direct comparison between the spider mask and a cop badge. overall i think the movie's stance on cops and law enforcement is a clear attempt at having their cake and eating it too (especially noticeable with spiderpunk's existence). unfortunately that's probably par for the course for spiderman stories and superhero narratives at large

so interested in what they'll do with prowler-miles. i'm hoping he has an important role in the next one

for me this movie really disproves the idea of superhero/multiverse fatigue

hope all the artists who worked on this get a nice and long vacation. because my god.

[nerdanelschildren]

A White Fire Within

(based on this post, because my brain would not let me rest)

~

Maedhros had lost track of how long he hung on Thangorodrim. It could have been days, weeks, months... he would not know. He knew nothing anymore except the sharp agonizing pain in his arm and the ache of hunger and thirst. With each passing moment, he wondered how many more moments like this he would have to endure before the darkness took him.

And then he felt something else. Something new. A presence near him, in front of him, watching him. It did not feel like Morgoth. It had less cruelty than that, less desire to see him suffer. It had more of a commonality, like a kindred spirit of some kind.

Maedhros blinked in surprise as he realized it felt fatherly.

The spirit floated in front of him, burning like a white fire. It had no distinct shape, but he knew who it had to be.

"A-atar?" he said. Or rather, tried to say. His throat was too parched for words.

Nelyafinwë, his father's voice answered in his mind. This is not over yet. You are not allowed to give up.

What do you want from me? Maedhros thought then. He directed this thought more specifically toward Fëanor. Although he had never used osanwë with a ghost before, he decided it was probably a similar concept.

I want you to live, said Fëanor. I want you to exact vengeance on he who has wronged us. I want you to persevere, and lead my armies - your armies now, since I am dead - against Morgoth Bauglir the Dark Vala, and I want you to keep going until he has surrendered that which he stole from us. But you knew this already, Nelyafinwë.

Maedhros groaned. Atar, look at me. How can I do any of that from here? It's over already. I lost.

If you give up, then yes, you have, Fëanor said.

Maedhros was quiet for a long time. He tried coming up with a response to that, and he could not think of anything, so he just closed his eyes and tried his hardest to ignore his situation. The fact that his father's ghost seemed to have shown up just to criticize him at his lowest point just felt like adding insult to injury, and he did not want to face it at the moment.

His body spasmed in pain and he flinched involuntarily. Then he sighed.

Atar... I am dying, he said. I can feel it. This is more than just despair, this is... I have been too badly injured and I have gotten no relief. I am beyond hunger. I cannot speak for thirst. I do not know how much longer I can carry on like this. After a moment, he added, I am sorry.

To his surprise, when Fëanor's voice returned, it sounded softer.

I know, Fëanor said. I am trying to offer you what small relief I can.

Maedhros blinked, in confusion this time. ... What?

I am nothing but a fragment of a fëa now, Fëanor explained. I refuse the call to Mandos, for I will not be held imprisoned behind cold walls while my sons carry on the war against our enemy. Still, I would rather not float around Beleriand as a useless spectral flame, and I would rather not see my eldest son die, not when he has so much potential yet to fulfill. Not when a part of my spirit may energize him again. Give him the strength he needs to hold out.

It took Maedhros a while to comprehend what his father was suggesting, but once he did, he stared.

You want to fuse your spirit with mine?

It would save your life, Fëanor answered.

But... What was he going to say? "But that's never been done before?" Creating the Silmarils had never been done before either. "But you might cease to exist?" Fëanor was already dead, and if he truly refused the call of Mandos as he said he did, this remnant of him would fade out of the world eventually.

Why? Maedhros asked finally.

Because you are my son, Fëanor answered. He sounded confused about why that was a question.

Years earlier, Maedhros would probably have looked for some kind of ulterior motive. Only minutes earlier, Maedhros would have argued that there was no point, since he was still chained to Thangorodrim and unlikely to free himself, and his brothers unlikely to be able to rescue him. But in that moment, Maedhros realized that he had been aching to hear exactly this: that Fëanor cared about him simply because he was Fëanor's son. In that moment, Maedhros suddenly wanted nothing more than to embrace his father and ignore everything else in the world.

Oh Eru, he had been so alone for so long.

Alright, he said through their osanwë link. What have I got to lose?

[throes-of-redemption]

"hey you": a submission to a departed blog

You'll never see this. You'll never post this. Unless they have Tumblr in whichever realm you exist in now.

I have regrets. The last time we spoke I was dismissive. I honestly didn't think it would be the last time we'd run into each other after a long absence. Well, it wasn't the first time either. But before then I was convinced I'd never hear or see you again. I was wrong twice. Fuck.

Anyway, since we last spoke I've felt like been an asshole. A selfish pervert with bad habits and boundary issues. It's disgusting.

At first, my decision to leave you alone was to protect my emotions.  We've already talked about it, but it was impossible to settle for just being friends. It was painful. You deserved better-so much better than me tbh. In retrospect, I wonder if you were trying to protect your friends from the heartache of your sudden loss. I suppose I felt justified in letting you go. I finally found someone to fill the void that you were never meant to fill (see, that already sounds dumb as hell cause people aren't responsible for filling each other's vacancies). Besides, reigniting our friendship might have caused unnecessary drama in my current relationship. Nonetheless, it felt right. 

Now that you're not here anymore it feels like I miss you a bit more all the time. I miss your new obsessions every month, and the way your eyes light up whenever you talk about some fictional character in some obscure piece of media only nerds like you know about. Shit, I logged back into Tumblr for the first time in like 6 years, and in less than 3 days I'm here scrolling through your blog checking out the last things you posted. I miss your queer fanfics and head canons. I miss the eloquent way you spoke when you read. I miss you tryna bake, even though I would sit there and eat them burnt cookies. I miss bickering about Star Wars v Harry Potter. I miss you teasing me about my cishet masculine insecurities. I miss the way you stood firmly against injustice and oppression, particularly your arch nemesis the fuckin patriarchy! I miss how you really didn't give a damn how anyone saw you or tried to squeeze you into their little box. I miss how you would drive people nuts just being yourself. I miss how loving you were even when you tried to hide it from the world sometimes. 

Remember that one time you spotted me on the bus all zoned out, and you sat right next to me and forced me to practice our lines for that play we were in? I was annoyed and happy at the same time lol. This year I did 4 plays. First one I did was HAIR up in Harrison, and you would've loved some of my cast mates. At one point we had a recasting...um..."crisis" to find a new Dionne. I couldn't think of anyone else but you. Except you'd already been gone for some eight months by then. That almost broke me. Oh! And one of them was this bizarre musical parody of Hamlet (I was hamlet btw). It made me think about hearing how you were such a talented Lady Macbeth in high school that the production was requested at Purchase Collage. So whenever I prepared to step on that stage, I thought to myself secretly "I hope she's watching and I hope she's proud." Honestly I felt that way for every show, but that's the one I wish you could've seen.

When you left it seemed like all of Mount Vernon came to see you go, probably a lot of people you didn't even like. But as each person got up to talk about their favorite memories of you, I realized as much as we talked and hung out, all I ever experienced of you was just a fragment of who you were. And I always knew you had heart issues, but I didn't realize just how sick you really were because you were so fiercely independent and full of life despite it all. As we left, my friend asked me how I thought I could honor your memory. I told him "By doing everything with as much passion and energy and purpose as she did." 

The problem is that when I had an opportunity to be friends again, I took you for granted. There was only one of you. Anybody similar to you by comparison was a bootleg with missing pieces. You were the genuine article: the Real Deal. I'll be processing the guilt of how things ended for quite a while longer than I should. I don't know if you were upset or indifferent, or if there's any slight that you held against me after we parted ways for the last time. But I hope, if it's okay with you, that I could take part of you with me in my journey through life.

You are missed, and you are loved.

Beloved (11/18/1993-6/21/2023)

[cosmama]

❛ i wish there were a way to tell the story where the end didn’t arrive so soon. ❜

tfw ur alien, primordial mom(?) says 'stop fking crying and go end the world binch'. // ੈ✩‧ ₊˚

the 'mother' watches over the 'son' : choosing to do nothing but listen as he weeps quietly before her. the boy laid sprawled on the floor across from her barely tangible form: eyes bloodshot from crying, hair frazzled from distress, and his clothes utterly disheveled. nyx, however, continues to be unflinching in her indifference, not moving to soothe or scold him - even as her own pale cheeks are stained with empty tears in response to his own. the two entities shared an inherent bond and so thanatos' pain became her own - even if she couldn't ( or more so, did not want to ) understand what grieved him so now.

death, her eldest and most faithful 'child', was now wrapped in the gentle, unassuming guise of a human; his beating heart overflowing with emotions that did not become one of his station.

all she can manage to muster is a tired sigh before she gracefully floats towards him, her voice completely filling the room while she does so. ' what makes humanity different from any life we have taken before? ' her spirit is increasingly strained by the energy needed to even sustain some semblance of a form here - emphasized by how her body fades in and out when she moves. there's no judgement towards him within her words ( at least not yet. ). nyx is simply matter of fact about the situation in front of them. death was a natural part of life and nothing in this universe could run from it no matter how hard they wished to do so.

' or...' she continues, ' do you think they are deserving of an exception simply because of the bonds you have forged with them? ' the question strikes a visible nerve, the 'son's' head whipping up to look at her in sheer anguish.

the 'mother' just blinks down at him blankly as the momentary dread of the dark hour begins to come to its close. slowly, she lowers herself to his level and gathers enough of her strength to tangibly place a hand on one of his shoulders; the closest thing to comfort she is able to give him. unfortunately, nyx's soft, sleepy voice does not match the horror of the words she says next: ❛ their fates have been sealed. ❜ her words are final. the judge's gavel has been struck. the invisible hour fades and so does she, leaving him alone to wallow in his pain until night falls upon him once again.

rare moment of me rambling a bit ooc in an ask: i wrote her intentionally somewhat mean here; it hurt me; i'm sorry fictional character ryoji. i was thinking, what would you feel if you're this primordial being that's been torn apart and have a chance to be 'whole' again? would you not want it? i do find the stuff around nyx and death kind of *vague handwaving* but conceptually very interesting. the line between who/what they are seems blurry in canon; whether it's because 'ryoji, the human' wants to dissociate himself from 'death, the concept', i don't know ( and i guess the other question is: does it really matter? the end result is the same. )

i don't think that whatever relationship nyx and death have is a traditional (lol) mother / son relationship at all. he was born from her essence and that's that. with that said, you would think a part of death would want its 'mother' to be whole again - which is what the fall is? but all we get is ryoji's despair. he suffers at what will be done to his new friends but is still forced(?) to obey whatever call that makes him into what we fight at the end of the game. i find that all interesting. ( i also think if you play into the princess serenity vibes, nyx being curious about other cultures / species but it being her downfall would be interesting / add layers. but just. a thought. )

anyway, people have probably been exploring these questions in the fandom for years but i'm new here so!!

[decks-writing-blog]

Here to Stay Drabbles: Managed Just Fine

Summary: Gordon explores Benrey's extra arm idea some more.

[A/N] This is a sequel to chapter 2. I'd intended to do it much earlier but got caught up in other requests and ideas and then kinda forgot about it until seeing Wraith from Deadlock. She's got basically the same extra prosthetic arm coming out of her shoulder setup as my idea for Gordon's extra arm here except she's got two of them and it seems to be just because she can.

~

Benrey’s idea on what to do about Gordon’s gunhand problem was a bit odd and thus what was left of the cybernetics department at Black Mesa weren’t ready to jump on board right away. They had valid points about how it would be much quicker and easier on their workload to just cut off the gunhand and replace it with a normal robot hand; Gordon would just have to suck it up and deal with the trauma of losing his hand again. More than that though, they were right about how having a mechanical arm branching off his real arm would look weird and draw more attention than even just leaving the situation as it was.

Drawing attention would be bad. Both on a personal level of not wanting to stand out and because everyone at Black Mesa was trying to lie low to avoid media attention. If anything about what had happened got out, they were in big trouble. They couldn’t afford big trouble right now or anytime soon.

But damn it, hadn’t Gordon been through enough already? Once on the other side of it, it probably wouldn’t be so bad but it was a long way to that other side. They didn’t know about Benrey – and he wanted to keep it that way – and thus didn’t know he had a resource that could help him heal the wound quickly so they’d want to wait for it to heal before installing the new robot hand. So he’d have to spend several months of his life without a hand. Technically not so different from what he had now but he’d had the gunhand long enough that combined with however the potion had made it grow, it felt like his hand. His brain was so thoroughly convinced it was his real hand he didn’t even get phantom pains in it. How afraid he was of losing it was still utterly irrational but so what? Nothing he’d gone through during the fallout of the Resonance Cascade had been rational either so he was allowed some irrational feelings in response to its lasting effects.

“I’ll just keep the gunhand as it is then,” was what he ultimately settled on. “I’ve managed just fine with it for several months now anyway.” ‘Just fine’ was a bit of a stretch but he was managing especially with Benrey’s help. “So it’s not a big deal anyway.”

“What if you made it detachable?” Tommy suggested.

“Huh?” Gordon had brought this decision to him and Dr. Coomer as a way of saying he’d canceled his plans for getting a robot hand, not expecting suggestions. Or if they were to suggest anything, it’d be more of the ‘it’ll be fine once it’s all done, just deal with it for a bit’ bullshit.

“If you’re managing mostly fine and don’t want to draw attention to it or whatever, make it so you can take it off and put it on only when you really need two hands for something. Most uh… most prosthetics are detachable anyway, right? Even the fancy robot ones.”

“Mine are,” Dr. Coomer said. “The limb ones are anyway. They’re locked in good but they can be taken off if I ever need to replace them. You could have yours easier to remove. Which would make it more fragile but you’ve already declined joining the new Black Mesa boxing team anyway so I doubt that will be much of an issue. It could attach at your shoulder too to make hiding it’s attachment point easier when you’re not using it. Perhaps you could get one on your other side too so you’d have four whole arms and three hands.

“Or you could do like Doc Oct from Spiderman and give yourself a bunch of cool tentacle arms coming off your back. That’s what I would do if uh… if I ever lost an arm and wanted to replace it.”

“First, I don’t want robot tentacles, thank you. Second, did he lose a hand or arm or something? Is that why he made the robot tentacles?” Gordon didn’t keep up with comics much. He hadn’t thought Tommy did either but he was into more nerd stuff so it wasn’t too surprising.

“No. He made them so he could handle dangerous stuff without getting too close. But it’s cool and uh, would solve your problem. Mr. Coomer’s idea of just a normal detachable robot arm would work too though. So… you could do that one instead. Either way when you go to the uh, cybernetics people again, phrase it as like an experiment. They like doing experiments. Extra robot arms isn’t something we’ve worked with much yet. So there’s got to be lots to learn from it, right? Like um, how the brain would handle extra limbs or whatever.”

“And we could sell it if it’s a success,” Dr. Coomer added. “Also, also, you’re second in command so you shouldn’t have let them say ‘no’ to you in the first place.”

“That’s not how my new position works.” Even Breen could only boss the teams around so much. Gordon probably could’ve gotten away with pushing this point but didn’t want to abuse his authority. And it being a sensitive topic involving his personal trauma made it something he’d rather not talk about much, let alone fight over. “The other stuff though, it’s… interesting.”

Being able to take it off and thus hide the abnormally high-tech prosthetic would avoid the problem of drawing too much attention to himself and the company. And phrasing it as an experiment instead of something that was replacing their agreed upon plans to cut his hand off and attach a basic cybernetic implant, should make it more palatable to the team. The fact that it was indeed an experiment made the idea a bit less appealing for Gordon but it was still far better than getting his hand cut off again. “I’ll talk to them about it then.”

~

Naturally it still required surgery to get the attachment for the extra robot arm to be put in – they were only doing one to start with but the team wanted to do more now that the idea had been reframed. A scary prospect. What if they decide to cut off his hand? All their design changes had been lies so they could put him under.

“I won’t let them,” Dr. Coomer promised. “I’ll be just outside the whole time, peeking through the window, watching. They know better than to cross me.”

“Thanks.” That was actually a huge comfort. Even better would be if Dr. Coomer was allowed in the room entirely but would be asking too much.

~

For the first couple weeks, getting the robot arm to do anything felt impossible. Gordon was about getting ready to call it quits on the idea when something finally clicked. It was like when he finally figured out how to supercharge his gunhand. One moment he couldn’t grasp how he was supposed to ‘press all the buttons’, the next he was just doing it.

The analogy of pressing buttons didn’t hold as strong with the robot arm. It was designed to feel as much like moving a normal arm as possible but it was thinking about it the same way that helped get past whatever block his brain had about it.

His movements with it were slow and jerky, not at all smooth or natural. It was a whole new arm though of course it would take time and effort to get used to controlling it. Given enough time and practice with it, his hand problem wouldn’t be entirely solved – they didn’t have the means to make it as advanced as they could’ve before the Resonance Cascade and thus it would still have limitations even after he got good at using it – but it would help. He wouldn’t have to rely on Benrey as much. Though, if Benrey wanted to keep doing his hair for him, Gordon would gladly let him.

[thespianinthebackcorner]

Thespian is dainsleif a good father figure or am i just insane.

How come we ALWAYS see people say NASTY ARCHON USERPER ZHONGLI is a father and papa and granpops🥺🥺 but NO ONE ever considers DAINSLEIF, THE TWILIGHT SWORD, HUMANITY ADVOCATE, CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARDS a father figure. He has (had) a STABLE INCOME, has (had) A GOOD POLITICAL PLACE, has (had) SO MANY KNIGHTS WORKING UNDER HIM. SO MANY AUNTS AND UNCLES (halfdan rip he's in a better place than other khaenri'ahns now), has (had) EMOTIONAL STABILITY (i think. it looked like he had from that one halfdan cutscene), AND WOULD GIVE YOU THE MOST JUICY LORE WORTHY DADDY ISSUES POST CATACALYSM.

STUPID ZHONGLI HAS NONE OF THAT EXCEPT MAYBE THE AUNTS AND UNCLES POINT like yeah cloud retainer or whatever🙄😒 but is she as good as YNGHILDR/HALTAF/EDGETHO/HYGLACG/SERKIR/BULIWYF/RONETH/HERGER/RETHEL???? (various black serpant knights we kill for one gloomy statuette we use to level up ayato'a weapon) NO!!!

This is quite the ask do you need sleep? Don't hate me for the response please-

Right, so I think this ask requires a bit of standardizing as to what a "good father figure" looks like. I'm gonna put it in dot points.

Stable income

Emotional stability

Kindness

Has worked with kids before (optional)

Knows how money works

Has a place where you can certainly go to find him (work or home)

Wants or is comfortable working with kids

Family members they can rely on as backup

I think part of Zhongli's "father figure" reputation is because he actually has kids in a sense (the Yakshas) and hangs around kids a lot (Hu Tao and her friends). It's also affected by his personality, since he has that old man stereotype of not really knowing how new things work. He's six thousand years old and acts like it- he is literally old enough to be someone's granddad. Zhongli is also connected with Xianyun, Madame Ping and a couple other people he has for backup, like you said. He's also quite kind towards the Traveler, as well as other people he sees in everyday life. So he checks off most of my little list:

Stable income ✅

Emotional Stability ✅

Kindness ✅

Previous Experience with kids: ✅

Money knowledge: ...❌

Place to find him: ✅ (Wangsheng)

Comfortable with kids: ✅

Backup family members: ✅

Dainslief, on the other hand, disappears quite a lot, is constantly tracking down the Abyss Order and going into dangerous places, is generally very apathetic and from his treatment of Paimon probably doesn't like kids all that much. Since I used current Zhongli instead of Prime Zhongli for my analysis, I'm using current Dain for this too. And current Dain also has the issues of trauma from the Cataclysm, being sought out by the Abyss Order, not having a stable income because of Celestia, and also the constant pain from Celestia's curse iirc. So he's generally got a lot of problems. He's kind, but in an apathetic way, where he tends to leave his problems to himself and tells you to solve your own- it's only when there's a common interest that he helps. So going back to the checklist Dain doesn't do much.

Stable Income: ❌

Emotional Stability: unsure but I'm going ✅

Kindness: ❌ not to a father figure degree

Worked with kids: Unknown

Money Knowledge: unknown, Khaenri'ah might have had their own currency

Place to find him: ❌

Comfortable with kids: ❌

Backup family members: ❌

Not much there. Now, if we knew any more about Prime Dainslief, he'd likely check off a lot more- like you said, Prime Dainslief has a stable income, a home you could find him at, backup family members/friends to help, and depending on who he was pre-Cataclysm might even have been willing to work with kids. Having said that, if we compare Prime Dainslief to Prime Zhongli, then Dain would absolutely win (since Prime Zhongli was in the Archon War) but since it's Current Dain and Current Zhongli it's different.

So yeah, though they're both considered daddy they're not equally viable for dad status.