#examples of proofreading and editing

[lemonthepotato]

Cringe warning: very bad Esperanto.

Mi povas mergi min en Esperanto čar mi ne faris multe da progreso ekde 2019. Mi kredas mi komencis lerni en 2019, sed mi rezignis dum (por?) unua jaro. Mi rezignis la hispana, la franca, la japana kaj la irlandano čar… nu, estas evidente kial. Tro da lingvoj lerni (por lerni? Lerni sentas malgxuste.)

Sed, mi restis kun la Esperanto(n?) čar gxi estas facila. Mi volas lerni lingvon por la sakeo (that’s… is that seriously the word? Sakeo? I joked once that Esperanto is 80% English words with -o and the end and 15% other languages with o- at the end, but I digress) de lerni lingvon. Homoj diras ke tio estas malbono kialo, sed, kial? Estas amuza… ne estas krimo amuziĝi.

Honeste, mi estis (estis for ‘have been?’ doesn’t feel right…) uzi Google Translate por helpi min, sed ne por lambastono. nur por kontroli se mia gramatiko estas bona. Ne estas, evidente, sed… mi estas nesekura pri gramatiko. Mi scias ke gxi ne estas bona, sed gxi estas probable pli bona ol mi sed mi ne uzis gxin.

Cxiuokaze… mi havas punkton kun ĉi tio; estas malfacila mergi en konlang! Jes, mi povus aligxi servilo de Discord, sed… la embaraso. Mi estus kiel, “Bonvolu… mi estas…” kaj havas furzo de cerba! Cerba furzo? (Googling how to stutter in Esperanto. Great.) (also I’m realising I said bonvolu instead of… oh my god? Am I seriously forgetting hello? Oh, Saluton!)

Cxu mi probable lernu la lingvon de miaj lando, la irlandano? Probable, sed honeste? Neniu parolas la irlandano en la nordo. Ili apenaŭ en la sudo. (Ne estas sude, mi ne zorgas se Google translate diras alie… ne sentas gxusta.)

Cxu mi havas punkto kun cxi tio? Ne. Sed, hej, diras al mi kiel CLAPPED mia Esperanto estas. Kaj, jes, mi eĉ ne provis traduki clapped cxar gxi estas pli amuza al ne.

Mi estas tiel malbona pri Esperanto. Mi devas fidi al tradukistoj por helpo. Mi uzas Google Translate por helpi kun tempoj kaj gramatikoj, sed la vortoj estas plejparte el mia cerbo, se tio havas sencon.

Mi ne havas kialon pri ĉi tio. Mi supozas, ke ĉi tio estas testo de miaj kapabloj. La rezultoj? Tre malbona, sed, hej, mi afiŝos ĉi tio, ĉiuokaze.

Edit: after writing this post, I got an easy, actually video about languages recommended… lol

[e1ectrostatic]

30 Day Fictionkind Challenge Day 14

Q: What are shifts like?

A: Before I begin, I'm strictly speaking about my personal experience here, and in no way does this post serve as a universal definition. Think of this like a diary entry, not an encyclopedia entry.

Anyway, what they're like can vary wildly based on several factors. Two big ones are the kintype in question, and what prompted the shift. Generally though, a shift almost always comes with strong feelings attached, and in its own way, each shift feels like coming home.

Because this blog is for discussing my identity as Luca, I'll focus on that kintype. However, it's a bit hard for me to describe, because more often than not I'm in a Luca shift. I consider it more of a "default" state of being, for lack of a better term.

Anyway, how a Luca shift feels depends on what prompted it. In my personal experience, kinshifts are always prompted by something, and never come randomly.

Most of the time, shifts are prompted by music. Sometimes it's music that resonates with me lyrically — the words metaphorically "bring me back" to my source. Other times, it resonates with me melodically. The sound scratches my brain in a "Luca" way, and/or is a song I would've liked in-source. Sometimes, both the lyrics and the melody take me back.

Other common triggers include (but aren't limited to):

Lore drops (particularly about my backstory or time at the manor)

Any other official drops that I consider relevant to me

Fanart that aligns with my memories/noemata or otherwise touches me in some way

Analysis of my source that aligns with my own perception, or that prompts new introspection

Unrelated creative works that resonate with me from a Luca perspective

Random posts/memes on the internet I find relatable or that cater to my sense of humor

A common denominator among all of these potential triggers is that they are all callbacks to my memories and noemata. For example, my birthday reveal prompted a Luca shift, because it affirmed my suspicions about what my interests, likes, and dislikes were.

Another example of something that has happened to me several times is finding a song that reminds me of someone important to me, so I ruminate on my feelings and memories about that person, which prompts a Luca shift.

A final example I'll give is coming across a post on my dash that I feel captures my "essence" as Luca, so I sit and think about it and any specific memories or noemata it may have reminded me of. Or maybe I just find it relatable (or funny!) without necessarily being reminded of specific aspects of my source. Both cases can prompt a shift.

My response to the shift and how it feels depends on how I feel about the memories and stuff attached to it (positively or negatively). Generally speaking, whether my feelings are positive or negative, I'll probably feel pretty intensely going into it regardless, and spend the next while dwelling on it.

My negative memories/noemata associated with this kintype hold a lot of resentment and anger, so those are the most common emotions I feel during a shift prompted by stuff like that. I may also feel sadness for what I've lost or what I've been through. Or, I can feel frustration at what I didn't know then and don't know now. Feelings like hate, obsession, and grief are no strangers during these shifts.

Shifts fueled by negative emotions can feel like a stab in the chest, or sometimes it can get especially bad and feel like I'm burning from the inside. Either way, I like to make use of outlets so I'm not just stewing in it. Music is my main outlet, but I may also draw, write, or talk it out if I feel up for it. Redirecting my focus to something else entirely also helps.

From the outside, I might appear withdrawn and low-energy so as to not needlessly dump my problems on others, or misdirect my feelings. If it's nothing too serious though, I probably don't seem any different. Just preoccupied at worst.

My positive memories/noemata associated with this kintype...can honestly be few and far between (having a horror source is great /sarcasm). But, they still exist, and can still prompt shifts just like negative noemata can. Most of the time, shifts prompted by positive emotions are fueled by my love for the people I was close to in my canon (or even just amicable acquaintances with). There's not a lot about this source I can be wholeheartedly happy about outside of my cherished interpersonal relationships, so I can't think of any examples of purely positive shifts off the top of my head that don't revolve around my friends and peers. Maybe I'll come back and try to think of some sometime.

Shifts fueled by positive emotions can feel like a flower blossoming in my chest; it feels full, yet ticklish, like the petals are gently brushing against my flesh. It's comparable to the feeling you get when you're about to laugh. It can also feel like a spurt of energy too big to let out all at once, or simply a tranquil, warm fondness. Usually, I don't feel the need to make use of any outlets, and prefer to sit and enjoy the feeling. If I do use any outlets, though, they're the same ones I use to process negative emotions.

From the outside, I have no idea whether or not being preoccupied with positive noemata affects my behavior. I imagine I don't act differently, but if I do, it can't be anything bad. Perhaps the worst that can happen is that I become a bit more chatty.

Then, there's the grey area between positive and negative: nostalgia. It fits there perfectly, like a puzzle piece linking the two together. Nostalgia is a very common trigger for kinshifts for me, and feels like a potent mix of both pleasant and sour emotions. There's no way for me to describe it concisely. It's deserving of its own post, honestly.

I guess it's just a mix of the positive and negative, period. I feel nostalgia when something reminds me of or when I think about the places, people, and things I loved in my canon. Things I took pride in, as well. It's bittersweet, because while the love I hold is still just as strong today, the key difference between then and now is that what I love doesn't exist in this world. Not to mention the things I loved and lost in my canon, not just the things I lost when I began the life I live now.

Both kin and non-kin alike are familiar with nostalgia, so it feels redundant to explain or describe, but for the sake of consistency and archiving my thoughts I'll do it anyway. Shifts brought about by nostalgia feel like something twisting and wrenching in my chest. Like an itch that can never be scratched, or reaching for something that feels so close, but never so much as brushes against your hand. It's a love for something that no longer exists how I knew it. It's either forever altered, or gone altogether.

Nothing stays in perfect stasis for eternity, as much as I like to deny it. Places and times changing and ceasing to exist altogether are inevitable, so it's inevitable that your love will change, too. Don't get me wrong, it brings me great joy to reflect on the things I love, but the longing comes with the love. It's a package deal.

I suppose that's all I can say on the subject for now. I'll ruminate on this a bit more, and see what else I can write about the subject in the future. Hopefully this is coherent to anyone other than me, and isn't too redundant/repetitive.

Honestly, I went on much longer than I expected to. I thought I'd be in and out, but ended up rambling a bunch. It almost made me give up altogether with how long it dragged out for, but I powered through! If you read this long, thank you for taking the time to listen, and if you wish to share your own experience or want to ask me questions, my notes and inbox are always open. Take care!

[pastel-peach-writes]

Hii, i just read all and i mean ALL of ur fics, but i saw you wrote for arcane women and was wondering if you could write headcanons abt them with a socially awkward/anxious reader?? If not thats A-Ok 👌 with me

Sure! How is everyone doing after the first three eps? I still haven't seen it but the edits I've seen... oh boy.

"I Got You." | Arcane Ladies Headcanons

╰┈➤ PLOT: How the ladies of Arcane(Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Sevika, Mel) act with a socially awkward and/or anxious partner

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Spoiler Free, On The Shorter Side, Cursing, Not Proofread

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

JINX

– At first, Jinx didn't get that you were socially awkward. She was used to people being awkward or even scared around her so she thought it was the same case with you until you two got closer.

– After knowing that your awkwardness was just you and not your fear of her, she observed you in social situations and noted what made you more anxious than normal.

– For example, she noticed you're more anxious and timid in bigger, louder spaces but if a space was quiet and quaint, you would be just fine so she often took you to quiet places for dates.

– If Jinx notices you're anxious in places you typically aren't, without a doubt she's removing you from the situation and taking you home where you can relax. No words, just grabs and tugs.

– She's tried the pep talk route before but it ended up in her rambling and somehow planning a terrorist scheme aloud... (yeah, a few patrons quickly left the area after hearing that), so she decided to scrap that idea altogether.

– At home though she would prepare what she calls, "A Safety Nest". It was a place in your shared space that had all your favorite things and trinkets, and she usually kept the space dimly lit and played your favorite music to calm you down.

– In social interactions where you take the lead in conversation, Jinx would quietly encourage you with big, almost alarming smiles and "gentle" pats on your back. Let's face it, Jinx can be socially awkward herself.

– Once the conversation concludes, she'll jump on you proudly, ruffle up your clothing, and pinch your cheeks endearingly all while calling you weird nicknames and quoting what you said while mimicking your tone and cadence.

––

VI

– Before you've had your first real conversation together, Vi could sense that you were an anxious individual.

– You fidgeted with your body while speaking, didn't hold eye contact long, and used a decent amount of filler words to casualize your sentences.

– She thought it was endearing to watch you act and move as if you thought no one truly cared about what you were saying or were afraid of boring others but you never bored her. She didn't think it was possible.

– You had tells and quips that revealed themselves with each conversation you two had. You showed more and more of your personality the more you got comfortable with her too. Vi loved it.

– When you spoke to her, especially when you went on tangents about things you were interested in, she always showed signs of active listening by nodding and asking follow-up questions. Even days later, she'll bring up the topic again to see if you have any updates.

– She made you feel seen and heard, something you've subconsciously craved. And when you went on your worry rambles, she consoled you and tried her best to stop you from spiraling.

– You thought about a lot of things and oftentimes about things no one else thought about. Vi thought your brain must've been exhausted with all the worries, doubts, and judgments that were usually wrapped up as others' but were truly your own; it was a lot for one person to handle so she strove to let you know that you were not alone.

– Is there a night you can't sleep because of your racing mind? Vi is there, holding you or reassuring you that everything is going to be okay. She can't sleep until you do anyway so why not speed the process along?

– You often had yourself stuck with your head stressing and worrying about multiple things at once and Vi was always there to bring you down to Earth.

__

CAITLYN

– Caitlyn's an encourager and a comforter with you.

– She's patient and silently allows you to take your time when gathering your thoughts midconversation but she'll also be the one to say, "It's okay, take your time," in the sweetest way possible.

– If there's an instance when you two are out and about and you really want something but are too scared to get it, she'll spring into action and get that thing for you. (Even if it was just a napkin).

– The only time she's frazzled socially is when you both are in an unfamiliar area and need to ask for directions. She'll stumble over her words and try to get someone's attention but they're moving too fast to hear her soft words.

– She'll get frustrated and you end up comforting her, but after a few backrubs, she's ready to try again. Her voice is strong and powerful, and people have no problem hearing her.

– You secretly thank whomever you have to for her determination but there was no way in hell you were going to walk up to a stranger and ask for directions like a tourist... which you were.

– Since Caitlyn's job has her socializing with a lot of people, she can get burnt out easily. Especially if work hasn't been going her way lately but even if she's burnt out and tired, if you seem to be more awkward or anxious than her, she's more than happy to step up socially.

– When you both have someplace to attend to or some event that holds significance, Caitlyn will not hesitate to stage a "social rehearsal" with you. She'll make flashcards of topics you could bring up, you'll both dress accordingly for the event in her living room, and she'll pretend to be an assortment of people so you can get used to different personalities all at once.

– It may seem like this is all for you, but honestly it helps her too. Sometimes she misses the personal cues of conversation leading the other to think she's a black-and-white thinking who has no time for pleasanties. Not true! She's very pleasant... sometimes she's just shy.

– Shyness is not a crime!

– After talking with the host and a few others she has to talk to due to her job, her social battery is depleted. She's extremely thankful you're able to recognize this and suggest leaving early. What would you two do without each other?

––

SEVIKA

– Oh, man. This lady found your awkwardness charming as hell.

– Your awkwardness was different than all the nerds and scaly-beings she's forced to be around. You were cute, looked perfect sitting next to her, and your awkwardness, as mentioned before, had a certain charming quality she can't quite place.

– She'll see you in your workplace trying to make casual conversation or small talk but none of your topics seemed to be landing. Your coworkers would give you a thin pressed-lips smile that she wanted to strike off of them to your attempts and then scoff at you behind your back.

– You were authentically yourself and those bastards didn't know what to do with it. They were scared, not her though.

– When you two got closer and comfortable enough with each other that you could tease one another or make playful jabs at the other's expense, no doubt she would tease you about your awkwardness.

– With those gorgeous eyes of yours, you would look everywhere else but her own, prompting her to say, "You know you can look me in the eyes, right? I won't bite", with the stupidest most shit-eating smirk on her face. And then when you look at her, a bit shocked and playfully annoyed, her smirk would only grow. "Unless you want me to."

– Sevika never made your awkwardness seem like a flaw. Your awkwardness came with you and she wanted all of you so she often encouraged your awkwardness.

– If she caught you trying to "reel" it in or realizing that you've talked for a few seconds too long, she'll playfully scold you and tell you to continue or to "let it out". Y'know. As someone who seethes dominance does.

– There would be an instance in which you go to Sevika asking for advice to be "less awkward" and her only response would be, "Why? I like your awkwardness, you don't need to change it. Anyone else who thinks otherwise is a sad loser and don't deserve to be in your life anyways."

– like damnnnn, okay!

– Safe to say you never asked her a question like that again.

--

MEL

– Mel understands your worries about what others think and the awkwardness that can come with it so she likes to help you in any way she can.

– If you're stressed about a council meeting and afraid of what everyone's going to think about the new perspective you'd like to bring to the table, she'll reassure you and tell you she's right by your side.

– If she can't physically with her hand on the small of your back, she give you nods of encouragement, raise her brows proudly, and look at you with that sense of pride and admiration in her golden eyes.

– After the meeting goes well, which she knew would, she'll congratulate you with your favorite drink and a night in doing all your favorite things.

– Even if there were parts in the meeting that were rocky, like the council people asking questions you weren't prepared for or getting rowdy, she'll say you did an excellent job and what you presented will help the people of Piltover.

– Oh, and don't think for a second that she wasn't sending glares and daggers to those who stirred up your anxiety even more. If looks could kill.

– Mel sees that sometimes your awkwardness and anxiety result in people-pleasing and she would shut that down real quick. She's fallen into that dangerous pool before and knows how hard it feels when you disappoint others and how much harder it is to get out of that mindset.

– She can get quite spirited with her encouragement...

– "Well, if they don't like it, that's on them! They don't know something good when they see it." "I've learned that hard way that you can't please everyone. You might as well say what you have to now. They can get over themselves later."

– It's actually quite attractive to see her stand up for you, even if she was standing up for the possibility.

– Always keeping her words in your mind, you find yourself navigating through life easier and you only have her to thank.

WC: 1,705

[senseichaos]

hi hi! That one-shot you did with Alastor broadcasting his and reader's..."love-making" was rather delicious but I can't help but think of you know..aftercare. It was quite rough and I'd love to see Alastor being sweet and sorta guilty for going so roughly cause we both know...reader was bleeding after😭😭😭

Yess I love writing aftercare and when I saw this I was immediately wanting to write it ! Thank you

"Pathetic" But still a princess,

Summary: Alastor roughed you up quite badly in your last.. fornication session.. so as to make it a more happy evening he gives you some very much needed aftercare! (Part 2 to "Pathetic")

Genre: Fluff, romance, slight sexual undertones

Warnings: Swearing, blood, Alastor is kinda bipolar considering how much more soft he acts in this compared to the last part, love confessions, lmk if I missed any

NOT EDITED NOR PROOFREAD (YET)

______

Alastor carries you the entire way to his room, not wanting to rough up your brain by teleporting to his room. And oddly he sort of enjoyed the intimacy of it all. It's weird, Alastor is never really one to enjoy intimacy, but this odd time he feels nice giving you this comfort.

As he enters his room, he makes sure to lock the door behind him so no one comes in whilst he bathes you, and with a smile to you walks to his suite. The suite isn't the largest but it's big enough that when he places you on the side of the bath he can walk around you with ease.

"Alastor I think I'm bleeding," You say, looking at some scratches on your thigh as Alastor takes off his overcoat and folds it neatly. He gives you a soft look, placing his coat to the side.

"Well of course you are darling! My fawn had to learn her lesson somehow, hm?" Alastor says with a small chuckle, squatting down (his knees clicking as he does so) to turn on the water of the bath. You roll your eyes, fiddling with the fabric of your shirt as you contemplate taking it off.

"Take off your shirt, dear, it's nothing I haven't seen before," Alastor commands with a rather teasing tone, arranging the correct soap to put inside of your bath. You nod, pulling off your shirt and bra, discarding them onto the floor next to the bath. You almost cover yourself, but understand if you did Alastor would probably tell you off.

After the bath fills a bit Alastor taps the side of the bath, capturing your attention.

"You can get in now, fawn. It should be warm enough," He says, and you give him a small nod. Rather awkwardly with your pained thighs you manage to crawl yourself into the bath, Alastor does end up helping you a bit when you almost faceplant into the water, shifting you so you sit with a weirdly empathetic look for him.

"Now let's not fall on our face, shall we. I'd rather not have you more injured than you are already,"

You giggle, leaning up and squishing his cheek playfully.

"Awe you care about me, that's new," you say, and he takes your hand off of his face with a stern look.

"I wouldn't call it 'new', you just haven't seen it yet," He says, and you give him a confused look as he starts pouring some bubble soap into the bath.

"What haven't I seen?"

He laughs, shaking his head as he begins mixing in the soap with his hand.

"Me caring about you, silly doe," He chuckles, ruffling your hair with his wet hand. This causes you to shake the water off and give him an annoyed look.

"Give me an example,"

He looks up for a moment, thinking of an instance where he's shown care for you.

"Well, how about earlier today when I told you not to drink the tea because it was hot?" He asks, turning the water pressure on the hot water slightly higher. You roll your eyes, pulling your aching knees to your chest as the water around you rises.

"Oh so what, the bare minimum.. how caring of you Alastor,"

"Now don't get pissy with me, dear. I was only giving you an example of my caring for you," He chuckles, giving your nose a soft boop as he continues mixing the water. You notice his sleeve is dangerously close to the water, so you push his hand from the water slowly.

"Careful, you're gonna get your sleeves wet," You say, and Alastor smiles slightly wider.

"Don't worry about it, my dear. It's nothing I can't handle," He says, his green magic surrounding his sleeves and rolling them up to just above his elbows. "You shouldn't have to worry about something so small as my sleeves,"

Your eyes go glossy with tears at the odd affection in his voice. It's something you've never heard from him before. Sure there's the empty compliments, the empty pecks, but this is different. It's as if he loves you.

"Do you really care about me, Alastor?"

Alastor furrows his brows, turning off the hot water tap as the bath is full enough with water. He leans over, pushing his hand against your cheek as he leans there.

"Of course I do, my dear," he pauses, looking into the distance for a moment as if contemplating. "And I do apologize for being so rough with you today, you had to learn your lesson somehow,"

You giggle, pushing his hand away and leaning against the back of the bath.

"It's okay Alastor, I liked it more than I'd like to admit,"

Alastor rolls his eyes at this, grabbing a sponge from the corner of the bath.

"Charming, my fawn," He says, putting his sponge into the water and squeezing it so the soapy water fills it. He begins to scrub you with it, staring with your face as he pushes your hair from your face, holding you there by it.

"Fuck you, as if you didn't enjoy it either!"

He laughs, scrubbing your nose as you scrunch your eyes.

"Well of course I did dear, I wouldn't have initiated it if I hadn't, hm?" Alastor hums, moving to scrub your other cheek. You sputter on a cough, your eyes squinting at the way he scrubs you. He just chuckles, scrubbing your chin and jaw.

"Do you really have to clean the entirety of me?" You ask, biting your lower lip as he tilts your head back by your hair. Alastor continues to scrub your chin, moving to the other side of your jaw.

"Well of course I do, a clean fawn is a happy fawn." He says, pinching your cheek and cooing in a sort of cute fashion. Rolling your eyes you attempt to splash water at him, only for the water to be caught up in his green magic and placed back into the water.

"Now don't try anything silly, fawn,"

You moan in annoyance, hissing when his sponge begins to scrub the raw skin on your neck from the collar he had you in. The skin is bruised and even as a couple cuts from the force he used. You wonder what he thinks about when he looks at the damage. Does he find it funny? Does it feed a possessiveness in him? Does he feel guilty?

"What do you think about when you see the marks on me?" You ask out of the blue, against your better judgement.

Much to your surprise, Alastor just tilts his head in acknowledgement before speaking.

"Hm, well I feel a tad proud, and I feel a tad guilty. But, I also feel like I want to eat you up!" He answers, ending his sentence in a teasing manor. But you don't miss the slight hunger in his eyes at the thought. You narrow your eyes, speaking: "Please don't,"

"Oh I wouldn't, dear. It's just a tad fun to think about," He says with a humor in his voice, and you can't help but laugh. Alastor moves his hand from your hair, placing it on your neck as he pushes your head back with his thumb.

"Bet you'd get your rocks off to it," You chuckle, biting on your cheek uncomfortably as Alastor scrubs the back of your neck. His eyes darken slightly, tilting your head down to get better access to the back of your neck.

"Don't tempt me, fawn," He says softly, pressing the spong to your collarbone to clean the slightly bruised area. Hissing in pain you flinch away from Alastor as his sponge brushes onto a cut. He gives you a sort of stern yet understanding look, reaching out for your arm to pull you closer to him again as soft as possible.

"Sorry my dear, it's going to hurt," Alastor apologizes, setting his hand back onto your neck so he can scrub your shoulders. Once again you hiss when the sponge hits a sensitive area of raw skin, but this time you stay put.

"You know I don't think it's fair that you get to sit outside of the bath.. how are you gonna clean my legs!" You ask, Alastor just humors you with a chuckle.

"Like this,"

He spins you around gently so your legs are hanging off the edge of the bath, dripping water down to the tiled flooring below. He takes a hold of your left ankle and begins scrubbing your foot, causing you to begin giggling at the way he scrubs the ticklish area.

"Ah! That tickles..!" You laugh, clasping your damp hands over your mouth as he continues scrubbing your foot. Alastor doesn't acknowledge you, instead going to scrub down your calf.

"I still think this is unfair, what if I want to clean you!"

"I had a bath this morning, no point in bathing again," He says with an obvious tone. You roll your eyes, looking up at the roof as he continues to clean your left leg.

"Can I at least wash you another time?"

"Maybe If you continue to be steadfast in no longer entering my studio unprompted, fawn," He answers, leaning over you as he finishes your left leg, beginning to clean your stomach.

"I'm bored.." You groan, leaning your head back into the splashback of the bath. Alastor narrows his eyes, and suddenly a tentacle with another sponge appears behind you, pushing you before beginning to clean your back.

"What a needy thing you are,". He says, causing you to huff out in displeasure. To your surprise he leans over you even more, even slightly towering over you as he cleans your breasts. It makes you blush, really. Having him tower over you like this in almost a lascivious manor whilst doing the most domestic of things. He's just cleaning you, for Christ sake!

"Alastor,"

"Hm?"

You wonder. Does he love you? You want to ask it so badly. When he towers over you like this and cleans every crevice of your body does his heart clench? Does his body feel warm? Does he get those butterflies that you do? You wonder.

"Do you love me?"

He stops moving, both him and his tentacle which had started cleaning your lower back.

His eyes reflect a myriad of emotions, many of which you can't even begin to fathom. He seems almost on edge. As if your question had sent him into his brain completely.

"I.. I think I might in my own.." he pauses, placing his pointer finger against his chin in thought. "Immoral ways,"

"Immoral?"

He continues to wash you, along with the tentacle, seeming to have gotten his point across enough to continue what he was doing.

"I'm not a moral demon, dear. When I think of you I want to devour you, but, I also want to hold you,"

Devour you?

"Well, I love you Alastor.."

"I love you too, fawn. Now let's get to cleaning your hair, shall we?"

You groan, pouting in annoyance at the thought of spending another 30 minutes in this bath. Though Alastor just laughs to himself, squeezing your cheek.

"How cute you are when you're all mad at me, hm?"

You stick out your tongue at him.

Normal, well as normal as you can be, once again.

[empty-movement]

GOGAI, GOGAI!!! COME GET UTENA KIBBLES

It's September 3rd. It's 1997. Princess Diana just died, and that's very important to lots of people. You, however, are chewing your nails to nubs waiting for the climax of Revolutionary Girl Utena's Black Rose Saga. It's going to air today.

But like any good fan, you're already one step ahead, because you've spent the last couple days thumbing through Animedia's September issue supplemental, the 100 page Duelist Bible. Strangely, it appears to be in English??? Wow! Thanks Nagumo for translating, Ayu Ohseki for Japanese editing, teasot for proofreading, and ME, FUCKIN' VANNA, for scanning and scanlating this massive booklet!

We've got duel summaries! We've got character design sheets! We've got a school directory! We've got THE DUEL RULES. We've got cast interviews! WE'VE GOT THAT CHU-CHU DOLL CRAFT GUIDE. Check it ALL out here, in the Something Eternal Bibliothèque! You can flip through it page by page here, or you'll also find on the page a link to a PDF version for your at home viewing/archiving needs!!

This gargantuan tome really gets it across that in 1997, you didn't have a fandom wiki or on demand viewing. If you didn't catch and record the episodes, a booklet like this becomes a critical tool for keeping track of everything that's happened up to now, and is also a way for the series creators to tap fans on the shoulder and draw attention to details they want seen but not explained in the show directly. For example, this drops at the close of the BRS, but points out Touga's sword isn't the same in Keiko's duel and in the opening sequence. A thing we don't see cashed in until MUCH later!

This has been a true and absurd labor of love on my part. I even rescanned the booklet from my originals because their quality (decades old lmao) was not worth scanlating. This took a ludicrous amount of time, and has been a main project of mine for over a year now!! I'm so happy to have gotten it done in time for the Something Eternal Watch-Along thread, and I really really hope everyone finds something cool and interesting about it! The really cool thing is this now completes the set of magazine supplementals by the big three magazines made for Utena during its run. We now have fully scanlated this, as well as Animage's June Utena Dossier, and Newtype's November Utena? (Oh My!) UTENA! Take a stroll through memory lane, be they yours or someone else's!

As always, if you like this kind of content, consider supporting us on Patreon! Especially right now, a holy grail acquisition is in the works that I will bleed to share with y'all. More on that later, lmao.

Revolutionize the World! Love, Vanna

[thestrangepoet]

The Furrcinating Adventures of Champion, the Archives Cat | The Magnus Archives Fanfiction | Ch 1/?

Based on @ultramarinaa’s Cat!Martin AU 

CONTENT WARNINGS: None

DISCLAIMER: As per usual, this is an unedited first draft that I haven’t proofread. Forgive any typos and roughness around the edges – I tend not to go back over fanfics, as they’re just a bit of fun writing for me. (I am a full-time professional writer, and if I start telling myself I need to edit and proofread my fanfics, it’ll cease being fun for me.)

This is chapter one of…I don’t know. I may continue if enough people are enjoying it.  Next Chapter →

──── •✧• ────

Oh God, Martin thought to himself as fur began to emerge from under his skin, covering newly reshaped limbs and hiding sharp claws from sight, Jon’s going to be so mad at me!

Oh no, Martin panicked as blunt teeth gave way to pointed canines, this is so unprofessional of me! 

Only then did Martin allow the terrible question to enter his mind – what was he becoming? 

He should have known better than to pick up an unfamiliar book lying around in the archives of the Magnus Institute, the academic home of research into the paranormal and esoteric. At the very least, if he was going to pick it up, he should have done so only to tidy it away. Why he had felt compelled to open the tome and sneak a peek inside, he couldn’t say. 

As the world around him lurched into a new angle, Martin could only think about the presentation his boss had delivered a few weeks prior. 

Obviously, you shouldn’t be dealing directly with any artefacts of note, Jon had said dryly, tapping the large screen behind him that showed countless examples of seemingly mundane objects. We have a department for that for a reason. However, it’s not unusual for one or two to slip through the cracks; particularly books, given the extensive nature of our library. If you should check out a book as part of your research and you see the name ‘Leitner’ involved in any capacity, do not read the book. Put it down immediately. Martin, that goes double for you – if you even think the word ‘Leitner’ near a book, I want you to turn around immediately and walk back to your desk – do you understand? 

Had he seen the name ‘Leitner’ in this book? There had been a torn bookplate in the front, and maybe the remaining letters had been ‘ner’...

Did it matter? He was paying for his stupidity now, Martin thought. All fur and claws and fangs, and oh, what hideous monster would emerge from what had once been Martin Blackwood? 

Martin lay down, his fluffy belly flat against the floor, and pushed his newly shaped paws over his eyes. Oh, it didn’t bear thinking about! Jon would burst in at any moment, see some horrible creature, not realise it was Martin, and—

“Martin?” 

As if on cue, the door to the shared office of the archival assistants opened, and in walked Jonathan Sims. “Martin, have you taken your lunch break? Tim and Sasha have already gone, and Elias has been getting very prickly about me making sure you all…oh. Martin?” 

Martin had scampered under the table in hope of avoiding his boss’ gaze. Treated now to a blurry view of the man’s green socks and scuffed brogues, he watched as Jon entered the office. “Oh. Good. He’s gone already,” Jon said to himself with the air of a job well done. He turned to leave, and Martin had almost let out a sigh of relief when the man’s feet stopped. 

No, no! Martin thought, Go! You can’t see me like this! I bet I’m the ugliest monster, all fangs and talons and hair all over the place! 

A scarred hand appeared in Martin’s imperfect vision, scooping up the fallen book that was to blame for Martin’s plight. A new fear sprang up in Martin’s mind then – what if Jon read the book too? 

He had to do it. He had to save him! Even if it meant Jon would see Martin’s disgusting new form, he had to keep Jon safe! 

He lunged with a power that Martin hadn’t ever known before. A screeching roar – or a miaow, really – pierced the air, and Martin all but bodyslammed Jon’s hands, knocking the book firmly from his grip. It span across the room and slid under the bookshelf out of sight. 

Now he’d done it. Now Jon would see Martin in all his revolting glory – witness what that awful Leitner book had turned him into. If he didn’t recognise Martin, as surely he wouldn’t, he’d no doubt call security, and then what would happen? Would Martin be taken down? Locked away in the tunnels for examination and research? Worse, what if Jon did recognise him? He’d know that Martin had messed up in a spectacular fashion, and he’d be so disappointed in him. Would he be the one to tell Martin nothing could be done, that the effects of a Leitner were irreversible and that they’d have to–

“Good Lord! Oh…oh, now, where did you come from, little one?” 

Jon’s voice took on a bizarrely soft tone that Martin had never heard before. He couldn’t respond, however, as thin hands had latched gently around his torso and lifted him from the ground, a startled purr rumbling from Martin’s chest. 

All of a sudden, Jon’s face filled Martin’s entire view. And for once, no scowl darkened his features. In fact, Jon almost looked…delighted? 

Martin blinked. 

“Mrrow?” 

Not once in over a year of working for Jonathan Sims had Martin managed to coax a smile from the other man. All his best attempts, his best teas, his ridiculous amount of overtime to finish his reports to a standard Jon would accept, all his own smiles and attempts to cheer the man up, not one of these gargantuan efforts had been rewarded with a smile. 

And now, with one confused miaow, Martin had unlocked a smile from Jon. 

“How did you get in here? Did you get lost? Did Martin leave the door open again? Oh, I bet he did. I bet he did!” Jon repeated, descending into a cooing baby voice that would have had Martin howling with laughter if he could still laugh. Jon shifted the perplexed Martin to sit over his shoulder more comfortably, the book all but forgotten. “But you’re such a handsome boy! And no collar? Poor little man, have you been wandering around looking for some food and shelter? We’ll get you sorted, don’t you worry, little champion.” 

What…the hell…is happening? Martin wondered, even as a big, goofy smile curled his lips. 

Jon was carrying him. Out of the office. Stroking his back. Calling him a little champion and handsome. 

“How about a saucer of warm milk, hmm? Does that sound good? Would that set you right, hmm?” 

It was only then that Martin’s mind dragged itself out of the dazed, happy fog to piece together what Jon was saying. Why he was saying it. 

Martin had not been transformed into some vicious beast from the eldritch corners of reality. 

As they passed by Jon’s office, Martin caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass pane of the door. 

A large cat with white and orange fur blinked back at him from over Jon’s shoulder. 

──── •✧• ────

Martin was, of course, the talk of the town after everyone returned from their lunch break. Funny, then, that not one person actually mentioned Martin. 

“So you’re gonna take him to the vets, right, boss?” Tim asked, rolling another roll of Sellotape towards Martin, apparently expecting him to play with it. Martin, on principle, refused, turning his nose up and huffing. 

Tim, come on! You’re back, Sasha’s back, who isn’t back yet? Ask where Martin is! he thought. 

“He seems healthy enough to me,” Jon replied, not looking up from the paperwork he was pouring over. “Why?” 

“To get his microchip checked? Get him back to his owners?” 

That made Jon look up, a flash of shock and upset clear in his widened eyes and slightly parted lips. “His ow— No, no, he hasn’t even got a collar on. No owners.”

“Right, but by law, cats have to be microchipped. Maybe his collar fell off or something?” A hint of amusement danced in Tim’s questions; Martin could tell that Tim was toying with Jon. Jon, however, hadn’t picked up on that. 

“M-maybe,” he replied stiffly. “Right, yes, fine. Vets after work. But he can stay here for now. Till the end of the shift.” 

Martin wandered over to Jon, sitting himself down by the leg of his chair and craning his neck up, tail swishing behind him. 

Right, now that’s sorted, onto the next obvious issue in the office, Jon, he thought. Which is…the obvious and mysterious disappearance of—

“Martin’s late back off his lunch,” Jon noted, checking the office clock with a critical glance. “Could you check the archival assistants’ office please, Tim? Maybe drop him a text. Probably got himself distracted by some…particularly interesting bollards or something…”

Sure, there’d been an insult mixed in there, but Jon had noticed! He’d noticed Martin’s disappearance, and that meant Martin had to repay his kindness! 

Fuelled with delight, the cat sprang up onto Jon’s lap, earning him a surprised chuckle. “Ah! Well, hello! Y-yes, you can sit there while I work, Champion. That’s fine.” 

Tim snorted as he headed out of Jon’s office, arching an eyebrow at the pair of them. “Champion? Are you kidding me? He’s a classic Fluffy or Ginger or Marshmallow or something.”

“Nonsense. He’s brimming with regal strength. A Champion if I ever saw one,” Jon retorted with a sniff, deeming the argument not worth his attention beyond that and turning back to his work. “Let me know if Martin gets back to you. And if he shows up, send him in here.” 

The newly named Champion stretched out lazily on Jon’s lap, settling down for a cheeky nap on company time. 

Already here, Jon. 

──── •✧• ────

[raelyn-dreams]

Enstars Japanese Support Ticket - Walkthrough & Example Template

The recent AKATSUKI event has made many egregiously bad and offensive choices regarding the unit and Ibuki (long story short - he joined them, effectively destroying AKATSUKI's buildup & writing, AND japanizing a proudly Ryukyuan idol. Please check (but do not overwhelm) @/gitsunegal on twt for more threads and details regarding this), earning the justified ire of fans of all units and languages.

One way of effectively utilizing your anger productively is to send a support ticket to Happy Elements, explaining your dissatisfaction with these decisions and urging them to reconsider. This shows them that fans are not happy with this decision, and (more importantly, to most companies) that they stand to lose profits for this choice.

Therefore, I have created this guide for sending the support email to them, as well as provided a template email in Japanese & English that you can use, which was very graciously proofread by a kind fan on twt. You can also send them your own inquiry in English, or also send an inquiry through the English website (the more, the better!). They will read it, and it does hold weight, even if you may not get a reply from the Japanese side of things!

Walkthrough + Template under the cut!

Firstly, go to https://www.happyelements.co.jp/contact/form_guide/. The page should initially look like the one below (desktop).

This is the section of the official Happy Elements website where contact inquiry links are. In order to more easily navigate this page, I highly recommend that you use a built-in translator tool to translate the webpage in real time (example below).

Scroll down until you hit the Ensemble Stars section (below, translated).

You can choose either Basic or Music to send an inquiry to - the process is the same (I suggest one to both, if you can). That will then lead you to this screen (below, translated).

Click the little box next to "agree" at the bottom of the page. That will then cause a drop down menu to appear at the top of the virtual paper. Click the last drop-down menu option - Opinions, requests, and feeback (below, translated).

By selecting this option, you will automatically be directed to the actual inquiry form (below, translated).

From there, fill out the form. Put your email in the example box (I recommend using the same email as your JPstars account - if you don't have one, simply use whichever). Either keep the "-" in the optional reply box, or select "not desired", if you don't want a reply from support. In your inquiry box, you can either put your own inquiry fed through a translation machine (I recommend DeepL, and having a Japanese speaker look it over before sending if possible - be short, blunt, and professional!), or use the template inquiry I provide at the end of this post, which you can edit as you see fit! Creating your own inquiry in English is also an option, though you are more likely to get a reply through the English Happy Elements website (example inquiry below, translated page).

Make sure to click the box next to "agree" at the bottom of the page. Then, click send, and you're done!

Template Email:

こんにちは。

私は維吹が紅月に加入するという決定に同意できないことをお伝えします。私はこの決定に非常に憤慨しており、この決定が変更されない限り、あんさんぶるスターズ��応援し続けるつもりはありません。紅月のファンを失望させている。沖縄の方々に対しても酷く無神経で失礼です。私はあんさんぶるスターズも紅月も維吹も大好きなので、この話には心を痛めました。運営側が私の意見を真剣に検討してくれることを願っています。

ありがとうございます。

Translation of Template Email:

"Hello.

I am writing to inform you that I disagree with the decision to have Ibuki join AKATSUKI. I am very upset that this choice was made, and will not continue to support Ensemble Stars unless it is changed. It is disappointing to fans of AKATSUKI. It is also very insensitive and disrespectful to the Okinawan people. I love Ensemble Stars, AKATSUKI, and Ibuki, and am heartbroken by this story. I hope the management will seriously consider my inquiry.

Thank you very much."

Other things you can mention:

Go into more detail about how offensive it is for Ibuki to join a Japanese unit, given his identity as an indigenous character.

Reiterate how much AKATSUKI's writing has emphasized that the unit is the three of them (I suspect this one won't receive much attention though, considering the story basically mocks the line of thinking :/)

Mention how much you spend on the game, and how much they would be losing. Especially effective if you spend a lot on an account linked to your inquiry email, and if you actually boycott (no playing or spending).

If you're a producer of Knights, Switch, Eden, or Valkyrie (units who have not had their center this rotation), you can say that you have decided not to tier or play for them now. Especially effective because three out of the four are big moneymakers (Knights being the biggest in the game), they're already on thin ice with Sora fans after VS GLADIATOR, and it's been several months since a lot of their producers have spent money tiering (17, in Valkyrie's case).

Really, anything you can do to get it through their heads is great, especially if you follow through and don't spend money or play the game for this time period.

-

I hope that this guide was informative, and that you are able to send a support ticket to Happy Elements regarding these events! For me, the one good thing to come out of this disaster was the support and solidarity I saw within the fandom, and while I may personally be stepping back from Enstars, I hope to encourage that energy how I can on my end.

Feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns in the comments, reblogs, my Neospring (Frostedonut6297) or my email (letempsdesacanthe@gmail.com)! Sending love and support to everyone <3

[daisywords]

I personally know there are multiple types of editing but I've never seen anyone explain it in a way that actually made me understand what the types of editing actually were (yeah cool that you say {}editing is different from []editing but *how*). So if you wanna explain, feel free to.

Your handy-dandy guide to different types of editing

disclaimer: writers, you can literally edit however works for you. these distinction can be useful to your process, or just if you're looking to hire an editor. Not all editors make distinctions in this way; there are various ways of dividing. But no matter what vocabulary you use, it's best practice to start with broad, big-picture stuff and move towards narrower issues. Some editors do all levels of editing, while some specialize.

Developmental Editing (Is it a good story?)

Developmental editing has to do with the content. For a novel, that means working on the bones of the story. The plot. The pacing. The characters. Do their motivations make sense? Can the reader understand why things are happening? Does the story drag in places, or seem to brush past important elements? Do all of the subplots get resolved? etc. etc. (At this stage an editor is mostly going to be offering suggestions, pointing out issues, and throwing out potential solutions. Beta readers can also be very helpful at this stage to get a reader's perspective on the story beats and characters.)

Line Editing (is it well written?)

Sometimes called substantive editing, line editing is zooming in a little bit more to focus on scenes, paragraphs and sentences. Once we've decided that a scene is going to stay, lets look at the mechanics of how it plays out. Does the scene start to early or too late? Does the writing style communicate the emotions we want the reader to feel? Does the dialogue match the characters' voices? do any of the sentences sound awkward or ugly? Is the movement being bogged down by too much purple prose anywhere, or is there not enough detail? (This can get pretty subjective, so it's important that the writer and the editor are on the same page with taste, style goals, etc.)

Copy Editing (is is correct?)

Copy editing is all about the details. Think grammar and punctuation. Do the sentences make sense? are they grammatically correct? Is the dialogue punctuated correctly? Any misspellings? Should this be hyphenated? Should this be capitalized? Should we use a numeral, or write out the number? etc etc. A significant part of copy editing is matching everything to a style manual (like Chicago or AP) a house style guide (individualized preferences from a publisher, for example), and a project's own internal style sheet (are the character's names spelled the same every time? if we used "leaped" in chapter 4, we shouldn't use "leapt" in chapter 7) Copy editing is still subjective, but less so than the earlier levels, so a copyeditor will be more likely to just go in and make a bunch of (tracked!) changes without consulting the author for everything.

Bonus: Proofreading (did the copyeditor catch everything? are there typos? formatting issues? have any errors been introduced?)

Lots of people say editing when they really mean proofreading. Proofreading is the absolute last thing to get done. It's the one last pass just before something is published. It's important, but as you can see, there's a whole lot more to editing than just checking for typos.

[ccswife]

Oh No..

----------------------------------------------------------------

part 3: drunk words, sober thoughts

previous next

***song has designated playing time. will be in big red font.

pairing๛: kate martin x iowau!reader

synopsis๛: kate catches you watching your saved edits of her

warnings: sexual content, mentions of drinking

not proofread again smh sorry

----------------------------------------------------------------

Its been about 3 days since deciding to distance yourself from kate. and trust me, its been incredibly hard; not only do you miss her desperately, but you have to be around her constantly due to your training duties. you try your very hardest to ignore her at practices, only communicating when absolutely necessary. an example being when she gets knocked over, hard, during a pick and roll gone wrong. she smacked her head pretty badly, and you had to carry out concussion protocol. or, when they are in the weight room for lifts, she almost always needs direction for 1-3 exercises. this instance is arguably way worse than the other, considering you have to touch her and guide her into the right form. whenever you have no choice but to talk to her, she gives you these big puppy eyes. you love them, but again, stubborn ol’ you wont actually fix anything right now.

one day after practice, when you had just finished explaining stretches to jada for her hamstrings, caitlin and gabbie come over. gabbie looks worried and caitlin has a very serious look on her face, the one she only wears before giving the team a pre-game talk.

“y/n, we need to speak to you” caitlin starts. "yea, its nothing bad so please dont make that face!!" gabbie sees the worried expression you hold. looking around the gym, you slowly nod and look between the two taller girls. "alright...go ahead..."

"we have noticed-" caitlin pauses and looks at gabbie for reassurance, gabbie in turn nods her head and caitlin turns back at you. "you and kate have been rather, distant! and that is very weird for you too."

"usually you two are inseparable, and you seem like youre ignoring her, whats up?" gabbie continues.

mouth wide open, you start to move it but no words come out. the fact that they said something and noticed the ignoring was on purpose threw you off enough, and now you have to tell them why. 3 things go through your head. 1) lie to their faces. 2) tell them the truth and get yelled at. and 3) turn and run as fast as you possibly can. gabbie looks at caitlin and they turn and whisper for a second, you still standing there, trying to form a coherent sentence. caitlin turns and says "you dont have to tell us right this second, but we are here for you, so feel free to come to us whenever you need, ok?" she puts her hand on your shoulder, rubbing it in a small circle. your eyes dart back amd forth between them, and you peep out a little 'ok thanks' before turning and walking away. usually people didnt pick up on the things you did, kate did though. shit, even when you try to hate her its so damn hard because she knows you like a calculator knows math. you felt like your life was slowly falling apart, like a broken pot thats been trying to stay together, but crumbles as time goes. you needed to add some glue.

ever since caitlin and gabbie came up to you after practice, they talk to you way more throughout lifts and practices. to be honest, its more caitlin than gabbie. in fact, youve noticed that caitlin has been touchier and more flirtatious. from an arm circling around your neck, a touch to the waist when she slides by, a wink in between drills, or suggestive jokes only between you too. you cant tell if its on purpose or not, but you kind of .... like it? maybe you like it, or maybe you like the fact that you can see kate in the corner of your eye everytime, staring the two of you down. when these interactions happen, its like she teleports so youre in her eyeshot. almost every single time you talk to caitlin, flirtatious or not, she turns and talks to hannah. this leaves you thinking, what could she possibly be saying? of course your whole being hopes that its her being jealous, but the devil on your shoulder tells you shes talking shit about you, calling you a whore and that youre only using caitlin to get popular. sometimes the angel on your shoulder talks too, though. kate has been consistently texting you, asking if you can meet up and talk, or if she can call you to resolve whatever it is that's happening. you respond with 'no thanks' or 'im busy rn.' to every single text. you feel like she owes you something, but you dont know what. your heart aches, wanting so badly to respond nicely and to be in her arms again, back to how it was always meant to be.

࿎

࿎

࿎

its saturday night, and you get a text in the team groupchat.

hawks🦅💛🖤

caitlin clark: hey guyysssssss so since we got the huge W (😜😜) i think we should all go out to the cluerrbbbbb

gabbie marshall: oh fuck yes what time should we meet and where

kate martin: im down if everyone else is

you roll your eyes at her text, only because its her.

(jada, kylie, and 5 others liked kate martins message.)

you look up at the time, seeing its 10 and use it as an excuse. you did not want to see kate in a club setting right now, let alone get ready. getting drunk did seem pretty nice though.....

you: ill pass, thanks thoooo

immediately, caitlin and gabbie respond, insisting you to go out with them. after 4 minutes of arguing with them, you give up and get off the couch.

now its time to get ready!!!!

pulling out your speaker, you blast your getting ready playlist. you slap on a stunning layer of makeup, drawing on eyeliner to emphasize your eye color, as well as 2 layers of mascara on your curled lashes. a little concealer here and there, some blush, highlighter and a layer of setting powder to make sure it stays intact while you are shitfaced. the dress of choice is a tight black, mini strapless dress, and to feel a little alive you throw a lacey pair of undies on underneath. its not like you were gonna get laid anyways. you did your hair in an updo, to accentuate the muscles in your back. you slip a small pair of heels onto your feet, then finally spray your signature perfume and some glitter. galncing at the clock, you see its 10:45, and that you have to get going. if we are being honest, walking out to meet everyone... you felt like a billion dollars. you dont know what it was, but something was making you so, so confident right now. the sway of your hips while you walked was hypnotizing, and getting a whiff of your perfume as you passed by put the cherry on the cake.

arriving at the club, the team stood outside waiting for the rest to get there. it seemed that you were the last one, so the girls filed in one by one. upon entering the club, it was hot and humid, bodys everywhere and the music blasting. not seeing where everyone else went , you made your way over to the bar to order shots.

"two shots of tequila please" you smile nicely at the bartender, grabbing the shots after he poured them, saying a quick thank you before downing both of them. you hoped that they would quickly take the edge off, and to make you stop thinking about kate. she was right in your eye sight, which didnt help too much. especially since she looked so fucking delicious. she sat next to jada, legs man-spread, wearing a green button down, top buttons open- showing her chest; and a classic pair of balck jeans on her botoom half. her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, and she stared across the room at you, sipping out of a solo cup. you turn back to the bartender and order some more shots, hoping they actually work some magic on your poor little brain.

after youre 4 shots and 1 drink in, gabbie comes and pays you a visit at the bar. " how ya doing over here girl?" she places her cold hand on your leg, standing and looking down at you. " im s'greatttttt. d'gyou kno that i loveee someone ? yesssaaaaa i dooooooo" you make a heart shape with your fingers and raise your eyebrows repeatedly. her eyes widen as you continue to slur some more words at her. " her— shes righttt over there next to shjada ! she looks so sexy fuck me bro" you put your head in your hands, and gabbie sits down next to you, picking up your chin. " babe i think its time to sweat some of this alcohol out, get out there and dance your little butt off." looking back at her, you crookedly smile and get up, hearing that your favorite club song just came on.

now playing 'Up Down (Do this all day)' by T-Pain, B.o.B.

making your way to the dance floor, you can feel kate watching you like a hawk. you pick a spot right in front of her and start to move your body. mindlessly moving, you back up little by little, and crash into a chest. looking up, you see its a basketball girl from another school. you dont remember her name— being that youre drunk, but her face rings a bell. "you dancing all alone baby?" her hand sits on your hip, other one creeping to your ass. looking up, you nod and put both hands around her neck. "lets change that then, m'kay?" as soon as those words came out of her mouth, you turned around, pushing back into her, slightly grinding your hips. you purposely turned around, wanting to see kate's face while you grinded on some random basketball girl. you watch her fist shut, squeezing the empty solo cup she held. you keep eye contact, moving your hands up and down your body, while the girls hands stayed on your hips, face in the crevice of your neck. this continues for a while until suddenly, kate gets up and leaves the room, clearly angry. it was sexy on her.

seeing that she went into the bathroom, you follow her in a couple seconds behind. you decide to wash your hands, as that girl on the dance floor was actually really sweaty. kate comes out of a stall, and she stares at you through the mirror. leaning against the wall, your first words with her outside of practice are exchanged.

"you gonna tell me what the fuck that was out there?" you turn around and look at her with a confused face.

"what was what? i was just dancing." her lip curls and she turns away her face. " y/n, i am— i dont like that. you shouldnt be grinding on someone you dont know." a smile grows on your face and you tilt your head. "oh, so i should be grinding on people i know? regardless of feelings?" her head whips back at you, wearing a confused but intrigued look. you walk closer to her and trace your finger across her jaw. "so i guess that means you want me to grind on you, right martin?" her last name comes out of your mouth with a little slur, both of you still being drunk. unexpectedly, kate grabs your face and waist, kissing you deeply. she turns the two of you around, the cold tile making contact with your exposed back. she lifts your leg up to her waist, and you tangle your hands in her messy hair. never in your life have you kissed someone so passionately before, and her hands roaming and groping your ass just make it 10x better. she kisses you like youre oxygen and shes the lungs. in between kisses, she speaks.

"i hate"

"that youre ig— noring me-"

" i jus- wanna love you— and make you mine- for ever- baby."

"please- i need yoh— im sor- ry for"

"whatever i did"

after the last blurb of words, she moves down to your neck, kissing all around, and sucking behind your ear. you let out a groan and grasp her a little harder. inside youre silently praying you remember this in the morning. but then what she said registers in your head. although you didnt want to, you pull away from her soft lips.

"wait."

she looks at you with her sweet puppy eyes, intensely waiting for you to keep talking. her hands still on your ass.

"why? why are you saying this now? and not before" she looks at you a little confused, stepping back a bit. you continue speaking.

"kate, baby. how'd we get here? how'd we get like this?"

she stares back and you and fails to answer again, now playing with the bracelets on her wrist. angry that she didnt say anything- ESPECIALLY after she just kissed the fuck out of you, you turn and storm out. kate follows you out, scared of what you'll do and also that you might find that girl again. gabbie sees the state you two are in, and lets the girls know shes calling an uber. not protesting, you galdly go home. the ride was completely silent, windows open letting cool air in. the chill helped you sober up a little, and thankfully you safely made it uo to your apartment. after showering and cleaning tbe rest of the makeup off your face, you climb into bed and think about the nights events.

a thousand questions fly through your head. why would kate say that right then? why did you do what you did? did she mean those things? although it confused you, one thing kept you content enough to close your eyes and fall asleep.

drunk words are sober thoughts, arent they?



----------------------------------------------------------------

A/Nq(❂‿❂)p: i hope i wasnt being dramatic when i said i had a good chapter coming! i was gonna make this longer but i decided to save some stuff for the next chapter. i hope you guys like this one teheh PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!! I WANNA IMPROVE AND MAKE THIS A GOOD STORY THAT YOU GUYS ENJOY! anyways.. toodles my munchkins😜

[fuyuu-chan]

Sung Jin Woo as the Ideal BF (Headcanons)

Pairing: Sung Jin Woo x Reader

Fuyuu-chan: y'all im too tired to fix this 😭 this is all mixed up (I want to add more but my brain won't work rn since im thinking of some other things so this is a bit short. I might edit this someday...maybe)

Warnings: not proofread (yet again)

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

~ Jin woo who always picks you up after work.

~ Jin woo who would always support you and be there for you whenever you need him. He would be your moral support. He would also comfort you if you have a bad day.

~ Jin woo would also be your cuddle buddy, he would rub your back and spoon you until you fall asleep in his arms, he would even hum you a song if you have a hard time sleeping.

~ Jin woo who always made time for you at the end of the day, he scheduled all his raids and other work at the morning and afternoon so he could spend time for you at night. So your dates would mostly be evening dates.

~ Jin woo who also makes breakfast for you before he goes to work with sticky note containing different messages. (he does that whenever it's your day off so you could sleep in, it's his way to return the favor since you always makes breakfast for the two of you)

~ Jin woo who also enjoys movie nights, reading, cuddling, cooking/baking, whatever it is as long as you do it with him he enjoys it. He even joins you in your skincare and ever sonce that day it became your routine to do it with Jin woo.

~ I also imagine that you also started to join Jin woo in his exercises (which is his daily quest). At first you only get to join in his runs and since you don't want to push yourself too hard its only half the run, but as time passed you get to join him in his other exercises with his help.

~ Jin woo always tells you when he suddenly needed to go to work. And he always makes up for it even after you told him its fine. Like giving you a bouquet of flowers whether that would be real or crochet (crochet if you are allergic to real flowers) and some other stuff you like, for example things that involves your hobbies.

~ Jin woo also calls you on his break or lunch time.

~ Of course how could I forget. Jin woo would definitely have his shadows near you all the time so they would be able to help you and he could also make sure that you're safe. He promised both you and himself to protect you at all cost.

~ Jin woo who always monitors your cycle so when it happens, your comfort food, drinks, necessities, your gadgets, your book and more its all there beside you while you lay there in bed comfortably. And when he comes back he would cuddle you.

~ Jin woo who also takes care of you when you are sick. He would take a day off just to take care of you, but when you can handle yourself or your condition isn't that bad he would go to work, (because you forced him to even though he don't want to leave you alone, but of course would definitely make sure his shadows are there to keep you company and take care of you while he is out) though he would call from time to time to check up on you, and he would definitely go home earlier.

~ After you recover from your sickness, Jin woo would take you out wherever you want to go. But still looking out for you so you won't get sick again.

~ Jin woo when every anniversary he have different surprises for you and he's so creative on planning it all including the things you love and like currently at that time.

~ Jin woo who would drop hints that he planned you two a vacation out of country to the country you hoped to visit. He planned it all when the day before the flight he told you that you two would leave the next day and when you asked where you two are going he simply said "you'll find out". And because you trust him you just nod and smiled. (Oh and he explained how you don't have to worry about your work since he called and excused you for a week, and he also packed your stuff)

~ The entire time on your vacation Jin woo handled everything, like you dont have to worry about a single thing, he is all prepared. And for your vacation plan, he did scheduled the day and time were you two would visit those places that you two would enjoy, and he left some few days for you to pick on what to do at those days either that would be rest, shopping or if you want to visit the places you just discovered along the way.

ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

Please do not copy, translate, repost to any other Social media, Thank you.

[violetsaffron5]

Beautiful Disaster (13)

← Chapter 12 • series masterlist • Chapter 14 →

13 | Glass

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x f!Reader

A party at Satoru's house ends in disaster.

words: 3.9k

AN: Hey guys! Not sure if anyone is even reading this story anymore, but I fell of the face of the planet for a while, sorry about that. Things IRL were crazy with work and my personal life, and I just didn't have it in me to write anything. Things are much better now and I was in the writing mood, so decided to give this one a little update, since I already had the chapter mostly written already. 

I will be going through it to proofread/edit before I do the last two chapters (which will probably be posted together).

Ao3 • Discord 18+ • Social Media • Series Masterlists

April 2012

Taking a deep breath, cinching the robe around your waist a little tighter, you step into the class. There’s a murmur from students setting up their supplies, getting their easels into position, and canvases ready to draw on.

The walls are covered in art from various classes and years passed - even some portraits of past nude models hang on the wall as examples of creative liberties and proper proportions. Something many artists have a hard time getting a handle on.

As you stand in front of the class, a little stool next to you so you can sit on occasion while the other students draw, you look around the room, making eye contact with Choso.

He gives a small, shy smile, like he always does and you swallow thickly - feeling the way your chest and neck heat with the flush creeping up to your cheeks.

Satoru wasn’t particularly… pleased when you told him you were taking an extracurricular art class this semester. Less pleased when he realized Choso was in your class.

And even less so when you told him you offered to be the nude class model.

The decision was easy though, despite his grievances. His only real one was jealousy and not wanting everyone in the class to ogle you - which you assured him wasn’t likely going to be the case. You have no reason to be ashamed, and everyone who’s taking this class knew this was an assignment. Besides, the professor has made it very clear that if anyone says anything or makes you uncomfortable, they’ll fail and be removed from the class.

You offered to be the model when you found out it’s a paid gig, and you’ll take an opportunity that arises to get your own money - money your mom doesn’t need to know about and money she won’t have any reason to grill you on how or where you spend it.

Once you explained this, Satoru relented a little, though you’re confident his problems have more to do with Choso than anything else. Which is ridiculous considering there hasn’t been anything more than a friendship between you two. It’s not like you have a history with Choso like Satoru does with Mei.

“Whenever you’re ready,” the professor states after closing the classroom door. You look around, taking in the overhead string lights giving the space a warm glow - the shades are drawn on the windows, stopping anyone from outside the room from witnessing what’s about to happen.

Licking your lips, and looking up at the ceiling, you draw the ribbons on the robe, letting the soft, fluffy material fall to the floor. The air is cold in the room, immediately perking your nipples as you purse your lips, feeling a wave of goosebumps cover your flesh.

The rustling of utensils being grabbed and the scratching on canvases immediately fill the room. Gaining a little more confidence, you look back at the class; Choso’s deep black eyes are the first - and only - you see in the room. At the beginning of the class, you thought it might be more awkward with him here, being the only person you know outside of class and seeing you vulnerable in front of everyone. It’s more comforting than you could have imagined.

In reality, you don’t know him all that well, but he’s always been kind, and he hangs around Suguru a lot. You also don’t miss the way his eyes trail the length of your body before he busies himself with what he’s supposed to be doing.

There are several times during class when your eyes meet, you give a little shrug and smile and he grins full-on, laughing to himself quietly as he continues drawing your form.

When class comes to an end, the professor allows you to leave to dress in the bathroom down the hall and come back since he has a few announcements.

Once you’ve changed you take your place next to Choso as the teacher drones on about maintaining professionalism from seeing a classmate naked and urging everyone to continue working on their canvases on their own time, turning in their finished work at the next class.

Except for you, of course, being exempt from having to draw anything and getting an automatic A on this assignment.

“Thanks for drawing me naked and not being a perv about it,” You whisper to Choso, nudging his shoulder gently with yours.

He flashes his brows, chuckling, “That’s kind of my thing, you know - trying not to be a creep.”

Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you wait for Choso to finish packing his art supplies, slipping the canvas under his arm, gesturing for you to walk ahead of him out of the room.

“Are you coming to the party tonight? Haven’t seen you around the last few.”

Choso gives a wistful smile, “Yuji’s grandpa is sick, in the hospital so I’ve been joining him on his visits. But I think he’s hanging out with his friends tonight.”

“Great!” Smiling widely, you turn and walk backward toward your next class as Choso stops in front of the stairs, on the way to his, “Then I’ll see you there!”

Steam rolls out from the bathroom door when you open it, the cool breeze from Satoru’s room hitting your skin, immediately making you shiver. He’s lying on the bed, arm relaxed by his head, long legs crossed at the ankles.

As soon as you emerge, he lets his phone drop to his chest, a heated gaze watching as you meander around, combing through your hair and deciding what to wear for their house party tonight.

Per usual, there’s a fight tonight starring yours truly. How the higher-ups at the school haven’t figured this out, even with Toji acting as an “inside man” - for lack of a better term - is beyond you. You’d think schools would want to investigate why several students show up with black and blue bruises and cut lips and eyebrows every so often, but apparently, they have better things to do.

Satoru has gotten off the bed, wrapping his arms around your waist and slipping them under the towel until it becomes loose enough to drop to the floor. He pulls you close to him, one large hand splayed on your stomach, the other playful tweaking your pert nipple while he kisses down your neck.

You let out a soft sigh when he nibbles your lobe, before whispering, “You smell so fucking good,” pushing his hips into your ass so you can feel his growing length.

With a sharp gasp, he spins you around, setting you on his dresser, wrapping your arms around his neck as he continues nipping and kissing your neck. And almost inadvertently, as soon as he slips his hand between your thighs, you close your legs a little tighter.

Satoru pulls away, brows knitted as you sigh and purse your lips. His tone comes out harsher, more exasperated than you think he really means, “What’s wrong?”

The truth is your heart fucking aches at the state of your relationship. Things were so great, until they just weren’t anymore - there was a part of you that always thought people who described being in a hard relationship felt like they were drowning were just being dramatic. But it honestly feels that way.

Your chest is heavy and your heart beats so loud that sometimes it’s the only thing you can hear; your throat feels so tight you can’t catch your breath. There are nights where you’ve stayed up wondering if he feels the same way but in reality, you’re not sure he’d ever tell you.

He avoids conversations like the plague and is so much better at hiding his feelings and playing them off than you are.

Since the Okinawa trip, there’s been a lot weighing on your mind about how realistic this relationship with Satoru is. He’s fun and makes you feel alive with his silly ideas and schemes, makes you feel heard and seen. And along that same vein, there are times where you feel simultaneously loved and unwanted.

Afterall, he’s the one who wanted to keep things casual but relented only because you wanted a relationship and it almost feels as if you forced his hand with that. Sure, he made his own choice, but even then, there are things you can’t deny or look away from.

There’s no hiding Mei is a point of contention in your relationship. She has been since before it even started. And it was something you thought would go away - that she would see the two of you together and go find someone else to sink her claws into but she just keeps coming back, and for whatever reasons, he won’t let her go either.

Satoru told you their relationship was primarily physical - that there’s no real interest in one another beyond that, and the only reason they were involved to begin with was because of their family businesses being tied together. More convenient than anything.

So why won’t he let her go? And is it fair to even ask him to? Outside of Suguru, Shoko and even Utahime, she is one of his oldest friends.

You’ve also been wondering recently how much Satoru respects you. Considering how many times you’ve talked about how uncomfortable you are with this… relationship with Mei and how it hurts you, nothing has changed despite his repeated promises.

And it’s not logical to think he’d change.

Satoru groans when you hop off the dresser, grabbing your shirt and slipping it on, “I’m fine. Just not in the mood, I don’t feel great tonight.”

“You’re never in the mood anymore.” There’s no mistaking the annoyance in his tone as grabs his glasses to shield his eyes, no doubt rolling them behind the dark glass.

Despite the lie you’ve been telling, you want nothing more than to have him, let him have his way with you as he has so many times before. But you’re not emotionally ready to go there right now - you need time to think and you can’t do that when he’s buried ten inches deep in you almost every night.

So the physical aspect of your relationship has taken a hit. You’ve tried talking about Okinawa with him, bringing up everything with Mei once again - but just like always, Satoru says you’re being dramatic, making a mountain out of a molehill.

But it’s clearly not nothing since it bothers you and it’s clear as day to everyone around.

Satoru doesn’t bother staying by your side during most of the party, opting to meet up with some of his classmates. You try not to pay too much attention to him, but you sneak glances over every now and again.

He chats, a drink in hand while laughing and animatedly waving his free hand around while telling a story.

“Hello?” A pale hand waves in front of your face, snapping a few times, breaking you out of your trance - apparently you were staring longer than you thought.

Blinking a few times and turning your head, you look at Choso, “I’m sorry - what were you saying?”

He gives a soft smile, glancing between you and Satoru for a moment, “Everything okay?”

Pursing your lips and sighing heavily, you nod slowly, “Yeah… It’s just…” You trail off, not sure how much or what to actually say. It doesn’t take long to make a decision though, since looking back over to Satoru shows Mei has joined his little soiree. “He says nothing is happening, but he’s always with Mei.” You nod your head in that direction.

Choso purses his head and nods, “Yeah. I was wondering about that.”

“Great.” Your voice is monotone. Because this just confirms you’re not the only person who sees them together constantly - that it’s not just you being high maintenance or a pain in the ass. It is a real problem, and one Satoru refuses to acknowledge.

“Why don’t we,” Choso starts, eyes flickering between yours for a moment before pointing off to the side, “take some shots?”

Your eyes trail to where he’s pointing - a small group of people around a small table, just big enough for someone to lay on and take a body shot. A smile spreads across your face with amusement for two reasons: Shoko is currently taking a shot glass out of Utahime’s mouth and tipping it back and because you’re feeling a little petty tonight.

Maybe it’s the alcohol you’ve already consumed, your inhibitions are lowered but you don’t care. If Satoru gets to have someone other than you hanging with him all the time, going on family outings during the holidays and hanging on him twenty-four seven - then why can’t you do the same?

Choso’s questioning stare is innocent, so there’s a chance he won’t be up for this - there’s a part of you that wonders if he meant just regular shots, and not specifically body shots. You get your answer however, when you agree and a wide smile spreads across his face.

While you walk to the table and lay back on it once Utahime has gotten up, Choso busies himself with getting salt, a lime and a shot of tequila.

Shoko is off to the side, staring daggers at you before asking, “What the hell are you doing?”

You smile and shrug, “Playing his game. I’m tired of being the one that gets hurt all the time.”

“This is a really stupid fucking idea,” Utahime chimes in to your surprise. It’s not often she adds her two cents on your relationship - normally she just adds how stupid she thinks Satoru is.

Choosing not to answer, you lay back and turn to face Satoru. He’s not paying attention, however Mei is, you glare, lick your lips and lift your shirt just enough to expose your navel.

“Ready?” Choso asks and you nod, but he keeps a hold of the tequila shot, rather than putting it in your mouth.

Small grains of salt hit just below your belly button and then the feel of a small metal ball and cool tongue trail up. The reaction your body gives is normal; stomach clenching, breath hitching and thighs closing ever so slightly - like a reminder of all the times Satoru has done the same to you.

Looking down at Choso was a mistake - he has a mischievous smirk spread across his lips and heat in his eyes. And rather than take the shot in his hand, he presses his lips to yours. Your eyes widened in shock, because this was not part of the plan - it was supposed to just be a normal body shot, just something to make Satoru a little jealous and hopefully realize how he’s been treating you.

Panicked, you sit up and fix your shirt - Choso winks, placing the glass to his lips just as a fist connects with his jaw in a deafening crack. Satoru is seething, nostrils flared as he grabs a fist full of Choso’s shirt and pulls him in for another punch to the face.

Choso isn’t caught off guard this time, landing his own blow on Satoru’s cheek, and then his ribs.

“Stop!” You scream hysterically, covering your mouth with your hand, because this was not the mess you wanted to cause - this wasn’t supposed to happen!

Before you can take a step forward, a large hand grips your shoulder. Suguru is next to you, shaking his head before stepping in to separate the guys. Panicked, you look at Shoko who has a look of disappointment written on her face, Utahime is shaking her head, watching as Suguru stands between the two.

Satoru runs a hand down his face, Choso wipes his lip with the back of his hand as Suguru says something to them - when he’s done, Satoru stalks out of the room and up the stairs without so much as a glance in your direction.

“Why,” it’s a small noise that leaves your lips, not loud enough for anyone to hear other than yourself. Looking at Choso with upturned brows, you shake your head slightly. If you had known he planned on kissing you, there’s no way you would have agreed to do this.

He must have seen you mouth the word because Choso walks over to you, brows bunched together. “Because he treats you like shit. And you just let it happen time and time again.”

A scoff leaves your lips, “I love Satoru - you know what, I can’t deal with this right now.”

Onlookers move out of your way as you make your way to and up the steps to Satoru’s bedroom. The room is quiet, light off except the illumination of the lights peeking out from the partially closed bathroom door.

For the first time, probably ever, you knock on the door to make your presence known before poking your head inside. Satoru’s standing, head hanging between his shoulders, leaning on his palms on the cool countertop.

“Satoru,” a step forward with your hand outreached for him, wanting to check on the cuts on his lip, and the bruise blooming across his cheek, “I -”

“Stop.” He interjects, tone raspy, lifting his head to look in the mirror but not looking in your direction.

A sigh leaves your lips, because of course he doesn’t want to talk about this. He would rather let his emotions show physically - through sex or fighting - rather than sit and have a two minute conversation to talk things through.

“Okay…” You’re really not sure what to do in this situation, stay and potentially make it worse or leave him to cool off and come try and talk to him later. Opting for the latter, you take a step back - you really need to talk with Choso about what happened too, you just needed a second to take a step back and see Satoru. To make sure he didn’t need any bandages or some other medical care. With the exception of the few scrapes and bruises, he seems physically fine.

Turning and opening the door, a large hand reaches over your head and pushes the door fully closed.

“Where are you going?” Satoru asks, voice annoyed.

“To check on Choso.” It comes out quieter than you intend, which Satoru’s body heat radiating against your back, his hand still firmly pressed against the door, yours on the knob.

“Why? Kissing him wasn’t enough?”

Heat flares through your veins at the comment, because he’s acting like you asked for him to kiss you. And that was never the intention - you would never do anything like that, and he knows it - especially with your history.

He’s just trying to piss you off too.

Turning around, you snap at him, pointing a finger in his chest, “Maybe because my boyfriend went insane and beat the shit out of him,” he grins slightly at that comment, teeth pink from fading blood. “And because -”

Because you saw the way Choso looked at you when he suggested body shots. Knew it would piss Satoru off to no end. Because you were already questioning what Choso was wanting to do before you agreed. It was like you lost your mind in the moment, in all of the feelings and anger and hurt at everything that has happened, and continues to happen in this relationship.

“Because this is my fault.” Your voice is quiet, shoulders slumped, guilt written on your faces as tears well in your eyes.

Satoru’s arms are around you the moment the first tear drips from the corner of your eye, holding you close and rocking side to side gently.

“Don’t leave me,” He whispers into your hair and you’re sure he doesn’t mean physically, in this moment.

“I’m not - I won’t.” You say between sniffles, pulling back to look into his ocean blue eyes, showing his own uncertainty in this situation - a look you’re not used to from him. “Satoru, that was scary. It looked like you were trying to murder him.”

“I wanted to.”

Your brows pinch together at his admission, “You’re insane.”

“In a good way?” The teasing tone to his voice is starting to come back.

A small laugh leaves your lips, “How is there a good way to be insane?”

He thinks for a moment, pulling you back into his muscular chest before shrugging, “Dunno just, don’t go to him. Okay?”

Closing your eyes, you nod against him, taking in the warmth and safety you feel in his arms, hoping he’ll explain his reaction to that, “Why did you punch him?”

It takes several minutes of standing in silence, holding one another to realize he’s stopped swaying you back and forth, a motion you found comforting when he was doing it, and the odds of him answering are lower and lower with every passing second.

After another few minutes you pull away and sigh, wiping the smeared makeup under your eyes away.

“I don’t want him touching you,” Satoru says hurriedly when you open the bathroom door again, grabbing your free wrist, “Let alone kissing you.”

That’s not a real answer - just some fucked up possessiveness he feels he needs to display because another guy is clearly interested in you. Which is ironic considering he said the two of you could see other people before he agreed to try dating.

And clearly he forgets is attached to him at the hip anytime she’s around, but how dare anyone but Satoru do that with you. It’s a stupid double standard and one you’re tired of.

He lets your arm go when you shake your head slowly, which breaks your heart. Wishing he would fight for you right now, for your relationship - not physically fight, but actually listen to each other and work together to make things better.

Maybe it is time to call it quits. Having these feelings in your relationship continuously is not healthy and it’s taking a toll on you. At this point you’re not sure what’s worse - finding your boyfriend cheating on you with your own mother, or this cycle you found yourself in with Satoru.

There’s a deep stuttering sigh behind you, to your surprise, “Things haven’t been great between us recently,” he says quietly, clearly unsure how to say what’s on his mind, “And I - fuck -” he groans, running his hands up and down his fast several times, “I don’t know, okay, but I don’t want to see you with anyone else.”

Your brows are raised as you turn to look at Satoru with surprise, not having anticipated getting any sort of answer. It’s not much, but it speaks volumes that he’s admitted your relationship isn’t in a good place right now - honestly you weren’t sure he was even aware of it. He never wants to talk about these things, he’d rather have sex and show you how he feels by the way he delicately spreads your legs, teasingly kisses up your thighs and makes love to you.

But it also hurts that the only time he says he loves you, with the exception of the first few times, is when you feel like you have to force it out of him, or when he’s buried deep in your cunt.

“Are we gonna make it?” You whisper back. And for the first time in your relationship, find yourself wondering when this relationship will meet its inevitable end.

But maybe there is hope. He’s admitted this - maybe it’ll just take more time for him to find the words and continue learning to open up. 

Satoru kisses the top of your head, opening the restroom door and pulling you gently to his bed, laying down behind you and covering you both with a throw blanket before whispering back, “We’ll make it... Just don’t leave me.”

So you don’t.

@petalsrdead @sofiaconlaz @lovelylashawnalee @s-witch-bitch @watyousayin @desthevirgo @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @musababy @sagejin @ritsatoru @faewithsnakes @erenputurchildreninsideme @lex-dear @hvziers @babybae-shisui @sugurunicorn @niki-sun @lilith412426 @sofiaconlaz @lxvephxbic @iam-mia9 @laylasbunbunny @creolequeen11210 @xiaosie @lem-hhn @yogurttea @slut-jr @crystxlline @ritsatoru @abba-simp @myabae @etherealkakashi @hyperfixationsporfavor @yihona-san06 @ambersea7 @knightoflove

[entamesubs]

How the Fansubbing Process Works for entameSubs

The delays have brought about speculation and misinformed assumptions of how our work is done.

This post explains our entire process to put this misinformation to rest, and also informs those curious of how fansubbing works.

----------------------------------

For those unaware, each subbed episode comes with a section of credits at the very end that are specific to that particular episode. For example, EP124 was translated and timed entirely by me (entame), while EP122 was translated jointly by tessa (batsugeemu) and yona (angelthinktank), while I took a proofreading role. Each episode's credits are different, and I always make sure to credit properly based on who worked on what.

Step One: Translation

The job of the translator is to just get from point A (Japanese) to point B (English). One full run-through of the script, no stops in-between. Work is not edited, proofread or checked in any way, it is simply translated and then moved onto the next phase of the assembly line, so to speak.

Leave typos in, leave mistakes in, leave phrases you cannot translate or parse alone and move on. Awkward or literal translations are fine. The goal is to finish the whole script. A couple lines missing here and there is fine - they will be caught later. The first step is just to get it done.

Translating a full script can take anywhere from 2-6 hours, depending on the episode or any extraneous circumstances. To be clear, 2-3 hours is the absolute fastest that it can possibly happen, and it is an outlier. I can count the amount of times it has taken 2-3 hours on one hand. Those are usually reserved for our dedicated "speedsub" episodes, where we have everyone on deck to work continuously, without break. This is not a norm, nor should it be assumed so.

A normal episode will usually take around 4-6 hours working time to translate. Sometimes this is done a couple hours on one day, and another couple on a separate day. Sometimes it's done all in one sitting. It varies depending on the translator's schedule.

Step Two: Proofreading

After that, the proofreader then goes through for a second or third watch to do edits and checks. The proofreader is strictly in charge of making sure the translation itself is correct as well as fixing any missed lines from the translator. Grammar, typos, various other minor corrections are not expected to be done in full here, the main job of the proofreader is to just make sure the Japanese to English translation is complete, correct, and makes sense.

Is the subject correct? Is this the right verb to use in English? Are they talking about themselves or someone else? Is the context the original translator took correct/accurate? A second/third pair of eyes is essential to making sure everything comes out properly.

The translator may mark specific lines that stumped them or they need a second opinion on for the proofreader to pay special attention to. Maybe the translator can't think of an appropriate way to make something work, or need pun ideas.

Proofreading and translation roles are entirely switchable on request, because both proofreader and translator must know Japanese.

Step Three: Timing

At the same time, the timer begins the tedious work of timing the subs to the episode itself, making sure sentences show up at the correct place, for the right amount of time.

They ensure subs cut at scene changes, that the lines shown on screen are properly broken up if a character pauses, and are instering forced line breaks where necessary so subs don't awkwardly fill the entire length of the screen and are instead always centered.

Step Four: (not) "Final Check"

"Final Check" as I'd like to call it, is always done by me. Once proofreading and timing are both done, the sub files are sent to me.

I add in the opening and ending, I do all the fancy text effects if need be (such as scrolling text, rainbow text, gradient text, translating signs or posters shown on screen and blending them into the episode, etc - this is all under "Typesetting"), and I also do a third check of the script on a watch through to further edit any lines that may feel awkward to read on screen or I have thought of a better translation for.

The state that the subs come in pre-final check are subs that only contain the very middle of the episode itself. This means the prologue, the opening, the ending, UTS Report and preview are entirely unsubbed, alongside any signs or extraneous text on screen. Subs are not done pre-final check. There is a reason they must go through me first and that is because I am the only typesetter on the team.

To be clear, timing and typesetting are two entirely different skill sets. Getting the subs timed properly is one thing, getting the subs to look nice, flow well, and not feel awkward to read is another.

Typesetting is usually known as an "invisible" job. When it's done poorly, you notice it. If it's done well, you don't.

At this point, I also go over and double check things like character voice and make sure it's following our style guide. While this is a consideration made during step one and two as well (translating and proofreading), this is the point where things are tightened up.

Extraneous TL notes may also be added here in-episode if needed.

Step Five: Quality Checks

After everything has been bundled together and ready-to-go, it gets sent to our Quality Checker for the very last and final run-through. QC checks spelling errors, typos, grammar, weird English, missed casing, missed lines, style guide errors, etc.

The QC does not need to know Japanese (though it is a nice bonus if they do!), they only need to know English so they can check for grammar and weird phrasing. At this point, all of the translation work and check has been done, it is just making sure stuff makes sense to an English audience now.

After QC sends in their changes (or lack thereof), the timer usually goes back to fix up the final file for publishing.

Step Six: Distribution & TL Notes

Finally, the person who hits publish and uploads the episode file to all relevant sites is me, since I know how to setup, run, and seed torrents.

A lot of people may not know this, but all anime pirate sites (R.I.P.) pull their content from Nyaa's feed. If it's not on Nyaa, it won't be on a pirate site. In order to actually ensure proper distribution of the episode, it needs to be uploaded through Nyaa. Once it is on there, the pirate sites will all update of their own volition.

Translation notes, if any are necessary, are also written entirely by me, even if the episode may not have been translated by me initially. These are usually only written if I have time or if there is a specific concept/idea that I really want to make sure comes across properly.

Final Words

I hope this gives you better insight into the entameSubs process and how episodes are usually worked on/made.

A lot of our team is scattered across different timezones, with one person being 9 hours ahead, and another one being 6 hours ahead. This means things are done at different times and at the leisure of whoever is in charge of their role. If someone is busy, then there is nothing else anyone can do but wait.

It may be that after waiting for someone to finish, someone else in the chain becomes busy, and the process of waiting starts all over again. Steps are done like this so that we have appropriate checks in place. This is just how it is. None of us are paid, and all of us are doing this for fun.

Most of all, I take a lot of pride in the team's work. If something is not up to snuff, or I don't feel comfortable publishing it until we've been able to correct something that's been bothering us (whether that's a line, typesetting, or etc), it doesn't get published. These subs are not just "my" translations, but the work of the whole team.

Call it arrogance, but I'd much rather put out something we're proud of than something rushed through the wringer just for the sake of getting stuff out. You may disagree with lines or certain translations, but they are our work at the end of the day.

And it is a lot of work.

Thank you.

[hello-xiao]

﹒ꪆ୧﹒If he could. He would﹒ꪆ୧﹒

── TWISTED WONDERLAND X READER

( RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS. AZUL ASHENGROTTO. EPEL FELMIER. )

DISCLAIMERS. This has been somewhat proofread. Not edited. Allusions to fragile masculinity ( Epel's part ). Allusions to poor self-care ( Azul's part ). Gender neutral reader. Reader is not defined by gender or any name in this.

WORDS. 582

- - -

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS ++ royal treatment

Riddle is the type of guy who would open the door for you. Whenever you have classes together, he would often walk with you to class. Don't expect hand holding with him, how scandalous. Riddle will open the door for you like any refined gentleman would do.

If you identify as a girl, guy or any other gender identity, it doesn't matter. He will open the door for you anytime, he knows you are capable of doing it, but you must know about the germs people transfer around! He simply can't stand the thought of his rose falling sick when he could easily have prevented it.

That's not the only thing though, if you have to sit somewhere, for example a restaurant or a cafe or anything else, if he is able to, he will pull out your chair for you. Whenever the both of you meet, he will always kiss the back of your hand.

﹒ꪆ୧﹒

He always makes sure to accompany you back to the hall of mirrors whenever you go out together. If you happen to be in Heartslabyul, he will escort you to your room.

If you do any of these things for him when he least expects it, his face will be as red as his hair. You might even find him stuttering and failing to keep his composure.

!  !  !

AZUL ASHENGROTTO ++ (sugar daddy) pays for you

Oh my! Azul Ashengrotto doing something for somebody without wanting something in return? How absurd! Azul thinks of you as his precious pearl, someone who is priceless.

He adores you. He will always pull out his card before you can, oh, and if you think to try to pay? He's already paid. How? You needn't question it.

Azul likes bringing you to nice places, he knows you can pay for yourself, but come on now. You deserve something nice after all the stress you go through, soo, won't you at least let him treat you?

You always take care of him, making sure he drinks water, doesn't push himself too hard, makes sure he eats and drinks the proper amount needed.

He isn't sure what else he can do to repay you, so, this is the only way he can think of. Just let him do this one thing, yeah?

!  !  !

EPEL FELMIER ++ holds your stuff for you

Epel wants to be more masculine, it's well known. He hates being looked down upon by other people for being small or have feminine looks.

But, he did hear from some senior… Ahem, Lilia, ahem. That the manliest thing a man could do, was hold their significant others items for them.

Even if you are capable of it yourself, Epel will insist on carrying your items, anything. Your books, your bag(s), anything you're carrying with you out in the open.

Huh? What do you mean he doesn't need to? He wants to. At first, he does it to appear more masculine, yes, but later on, he does it because he genuinely does want to, not even for the need of being masculine.

I mean, you assure him. A lot. That you love him for him. That he doesn't need to do anything to prove himself, that he's already a man and he shouldn't care what other people might think of him, so.. At least let him do this as a small appreciation.

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG translation] An interview with Joker Out at Sziget

An exclusive conversation with Joker Out from Budapest, where they marked one of the biggest milestones of their career so far!

Article written by Ajda Gregorc, published on the 9th of August 2024 on the ELLE Slovenia website. Translation by @kurooscoffee, @chaosofsmarty and a member of JokerOutSubs, English proofreading by IG GBoleyn123.

You can also listen to an audio recording of this translation, read by IG GBoleyn123:

(or find it on our Spotify)

Source: Personal archive

It's no secret that ELLE has been cheering for our most successful band of all time from the front row. Not only are Joker Out the recipients of the first Elle Style Award in the Music category, we always love to catch up with them and chat about their upcoming projects. It's especially nice to see them on foreign ground. We met up with the guys in the Hungarian capital just before one of their bigger performances as part of their summer festival tour – they took over the main stage of the legendary Sziget festival! Judging by the aforementioned (and in this case, also literal) front row, we can definitely say they conquered it.

With it, they have symbolically reached one of the major, clearly defined goals they set at the beginning of their journey. At that time, they stated, "You know you've made it when you perform on the main stage of this legendary European festival." The energy of the gathered crowd at this performance definitely confirmed it, but more on that later.

Source: Vita Orehek Photography

When asked whether this goal still seems as formidable after they have already reached so many of their set peaks (just this year they successfully completed a European tour, sold out a vinyl edition from the sold-out Arena Stožice in less than half a day, signed a contract with the Wasserman Agency shortly before that, and received a gold record in Finland for their single Carpe Diem, which was also the most-played domestic song last year), the band's frontman, Bojan Cvjetićanin, honestly responds that it doesn't really seem that way anymore.

Festival experiences, with all their systems and mechanisms, are similar to each other regardless of whether it's a slightly larger or smaller stage, and the guys already know what to expect. "You do lose a bit of that, but here today, for example, the organisational aspect is at the highest level." Guitarist Kris Guštin also confirms a slight loss of the mystique, while the band's other guitarist, Jan Peteh, offers a fitting metaphor in his characteristic style. "I see it as going up a hill on a road that has a bit of an incline, and you know you're going up, but the steps to the top are more gradual."

Source: Vita Orehek Photography

Bojan agrees. He feels that it's a point where you're still far from the peak, but already have a beautiful view ahead that you're following, although the full view only unfolds at the end. Sziget is definitely one of the highlights of their festival season when it comes to personal satisfaction, but for the crowning moment of this festival season, Kris would choose the main stage at Exit festival, while Bojan also highlighted the Finnish Ruisrock festival.

Their tour across European festivals is therefore a connecting point between the band and their existing fans, as well as potential new audiences. At festivals where they weren't the most well-visited performers, the guys noticed that many of the attendees were new. "You can see it mainly in the faces and reactions," Bojan explains. They're very pleased that the response has always been positive so far and that by the end of their concert, there were more people present than at the beginning.

Source: Vita Orehek Photography

When a concert is not organised by them, it takes away a good amount of pressure. Over the past year, they carried out a lot of them on their own, especially abroad, which was slightly scary for them, even though everything went smoothly. Fortunately, festivals are primarily defined by the summer, which is accompanied by a good mood and visitors in high spirits, and that creates a good atmosphere. "There are a lot of performers in one place, a lot of a certain type of energy gets accumulated, and everyone comes to have a good time," adds Cvjetićanin.

Jan adds that the weather has cleared up during our chat (before that, the festival area was hit by light showers) and it's true, for their performance at 17:30, the sky actually cleared up so much that people were retreating to the shady side of the stage while dancing to their hits.

Source: Vita Orehek Photography

International festivals, therefore, no longer fall entirely under the "new" category for the Jokers. They've come to feel at home at a number of stages already, so they know how to handle things, both from a technical standpoint and in terms of what to expect from the atmosphere. Finland, with its warm reaction, provided a huge surprise in that regard, and therefore they count their performance there as one of those magical moments that tip the scales into the aforementioned category and go into the "forever" archive.

The third album is around the corner

After constantly working on the third album in London, which will be released in the autumn, the likeable musicians needed a bit of a break from it. That has already ended, however, as they've been in the studio almost every day, which also proves that they're excellent at juggling several obligations at the same time. Considering that the first singles, 'Everybody's Waiting' and 'Šta bih ja', are highly contrasting, I ask them whether this album will offer the most contradictions so far as part of the "intense blend of emotions which reflects the quick turnaround of their lives". That is how they described it recently.

Source: Vita Orehek Photography

In Bojan's opinion, this is by far their most contrasting album. "Especially the most recent products, which we still have to finish, will be like that." Kris adds that the arrangements might be more contrasting than the sound itself.

"It's still us playing and singing," Bojan laughs. "Exactly, per partes¹, some parts are compatible, and then you have one total 'tourist', and then another one." Jan stops the debate with a powerful statement that there will be more variations on this album than most performers have in their entire careers. Let's wait and be surprised.

¹ 'per partes' is a Latin expression that means "by parts"; it is used in mathematics for the process of integration by parts

Source: Vita Orehek Photography

It's not only their vision that goes into creating the new album, they also let their fans in on it. For 'Šta bih ja', it was actually the audience's passionate reaction that showed them that it would be their next single.

Source: Vita Orehek Photography

It is a simple communication style, but one that the band reads well and then translates into its products. By doing so, they typically follow the flow organically, not going against it (true fans will understand this extremely corny joke), always driven by a well-thought-out strategy. Sometimes even at the initiative of Kiki the roadie, who unintentionally hung the lyrics of a new single facing the audience instead of the band, which turned it into a viral hit. "He's a marketing genius," the boys laugh, and tell ELLE that he's definitely receiving special treatment now.

Less than an hour later ...

Shortly after our conversation, we join the large crowd right in front of the famous Hungarian stage and, as the show unfolds, marvel at the visual production, specially upgraded for the festival season under the baton of Studio 7, with whom the Jokers have formed an unstoppable partnership since their beginnings.

Source: Vita Orehek Photography

The waving Slovenian flags beautifully complement the lace on the band members' clothing, their trademark and a tribute to the culture of their homeland, signed by Karlo Kirri (the Jokers have been collaborating with him regularly for the past year).

Unfortunately, the boys couldn't exchange the "performer" wristband for the "visitor who is just having fun" one, as a concert in Romania already awaits them this Sunday. Jan tested the field the night before, while the rest of them are still waiting for that experience somewhere in the future. Now with a very special aftertaste.

P.S. The news of the upcoming album was followed by the promise that Slovenians will be among the first to hear it live. In the lively backstage area, where the famous singer Halsey was casually strolling just an hour later, I'm told that this will be very soon after the album's release and that "they're going to go for a slightly smaller thing than they could have gone for," adding that it will be nostalgic for them.

What better way to end the conversation, and thus the article, than at this point?

Guys, thank you, and good luck!

[jellymochii]

Worth Burning For

𐙚 pairings: Karina x Fem!Reader

𐙚 genre: fluff, angst

𐙚 cw: religious themes (catholicism)

𐙚 wc: 2.2k

↪author's note: hello! decided to write this on a whim since I got inspired by my lovely moots on discord. i am a first time writer so this may be a little rough, but i tried to convey my emotions growing up catholic with this. hope you enjoy! <3

↪special thanks: thank you to @miupow , @moamidzyism , @sheerfreesia007 , and many more of my friends for helping me proofread and edit this. <3

**THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE INDIVIDUALS MENTIONED.**

Jude 1:7 ~ Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.

The verse repeats in your head like clockwork.

And yet every Sunday you were willing to disregard every last word.

There was nothing comforting about the church you and your family stepped into once a week. While the beauty of the richly detailed glass murals certainly caught your eye, it never seemed to make you feel at ease, at home. What was once a fun activity as a child had now turned into a reminder of your future in an eternal fire.

It hadn't always been this way,you had always considered yourself "normal" as a child, finding boys in your classes attractive and even dating them in your younger years. As you grew, however, you began to experience puberty and its atrocious and ungodly side effects, and your emotions flamed as you battled a newfound tingling in your system. Lust.

While your sex ed classes had preached that it was normal to feel the desire to touch yourself (and others), your parents and elders at church had always denounced lust at its core, calling it "an abomination before our savior" and commanding abstinence amongst your youth group. That very youth group however, was the one to send you down into your spiral for longing.

Your closest friend since childhood at church, Karina, was always praised for her beauty by all. Glowing brown eyes, soft porcelain skin, and long black hair delicately concealed by a pure white veil. An angel walking amongst the earth, putting even saints to shame. And yet, always kind and gracious to all, and she seemed to have a special spot for you, a mere peasant in her presence.

What started as an innocent friendship between the two of you in your youth had turned you into the very monster your priest warned against since day one. In the blink of an eye, every detail about her made your heart soar higher than the heavens. The way she looked for you while sitting at the bench by the altar and smiled everytime your eyes met when you walked in and how she always got up to sit next to you. The way you could hear the choruses sing in your heart as she looked into your eyes when you spoke. The way nothing else in the world mattered as long as she was with you. The fire in your heart burnt, truly.

No one else could ever come close to her in your eyes, no man or woman. 

Karina also had her fair share of innocent relationships with men, and who wouldn't jump at the chance to be with divinity? But it was never innocent to them, she was a mere prize to be won for them, an object. They never understood her for her true kind nature, they never truly knew your Karina. No amount of ignoring or diving into other relationships could take away the sting of watching her look at a man the way she looked at you.

_______________________

It was still a Sunday like any other, your brother fussing about the early wake as usual as your parents dragged you to worship. You didn't seem to mind, to them you were just happy to be in the presence of God, but you were looking forward to seeing Karina again. Walking towards the old rusted doors you make the sign of the cross and enter, making it a point to fake a smile to anyone who greeted you. You rushed over to the bench where Karina sat, sliding in with ease as she turned and smiled.

"Y/N, you came!" She said with a bright smile.

"Of course I did silly, I always do. Not like I have a choice though." You giggled

"Listen, I've been trying to improve my cooking skills since I burned the last batch of cupcakes I've made. Can you taste this and tell me what you think?" She says as she hands you a small bag of cookies with "Y/N ♡" written on it.

Your heart fluttered at even the smallest gesture, the heart next to your name in the most beautiful handwriting, it was exactly why you endured this agony daily.

Karina watched attentively as you took a bite. It was surprisingly delicious and soft, you smiled at her warmly as you chewed, not caring about the crumbs all over your lap.

"It's delicious Karina! You outdid yourself with these.”

Her eyes lit up as she smiled. "Thank goodness, I worked all night on these! My dark circles must be showing" she said as she touched the skin under her eye.

"You spent all night working on these Rinnie?"

"Of course! I wanted to make them perfect for you."

Your ears rang at the words as heat crept up on your cheeks.

"F-for me? Rinnie you didn't have to do that! I eat enough as it is, I promise!"

"Well why wouldn't I? You're special to me, I wanted to." 

Just as quickly as your heart began to flutter, the bells rang and the priest began to walk down the aisle with the altar boys following quickly. You opened your book of hymns and attempted to sing alongside the rest of the church. Karina's voice sang next to you, her voice was truly beautiful, like a songbird of the heavens.

As the priest made his way down, you noticed one of the altar boys and long time friend, Felix, stumbling slightly while carrying the cross. Karina giggled as Felix laughed at himself slightly. He shot a look at the two of you in embarrassment. 

"He's always so clumsy, I hope he doesn't trip and break the cross" she whispered in your ear as you smiled in his direction. He pouted and looked the other way quickly.  

The rest of mass went about exactly how you'd expect, the priest droning on about sin and temptation as you tried to make sense of your emotions. It seemed as though that the priest's monotone voice and Karina's lack of sleep caused her to doze off, a rare sight for such a devout listener like her. Suddenly, you felt a slight pressure on your shoulder, turning your head slightly to see Karina delicately resting on you. 

This was heaven. Nothing in a promised afterlife could compare to her warmness and beautiful sleeping figure. You leaned your head on top of hers as you thanked the stars for this moment.

__________________

Your moment in bliss was too short lived as mass concluded and many church members gathered downstairs for the brunch. You still felt on cloud nine, but your head was still spinning. You couldn't keep this facade of normalcy up for much longer, especially since you were days away from deciding your college of choice. Would you and Karina go to the same school? Could you finally see her more, or would she pursue other endeavors and leave you forever? Your heart ached at the thought, unaware of the tap on your shoulder from a familiar face.

"Yo, Y/N! Have you finally decided where you're headed to? You seem conflicted about it." Felix asked.

"Oh, well, to be honest I'm still not sure. I'm too worried about the future." You responded

"Like what? You can tell me anything, I won't judge." He noted.

"Felix..." You paused. "...do you think that gay people deserve to die? Or burn in hell?"

His eyes widened at the brazen question as you hurried to retort.

"Well I'm just asking hypothetically, it's nothing serious!"

Felix sighed as he spoke. "No Y/N, you're not burning in hell for eternity. You're still my friend no matter what."

Your eyes widened "W-wait ME?! I'm not gay, I was just wondering!"

"You're a terrible liar." He retorted

"Nuh-uh! I had a boyfriend in 6th grade!"

"Yeah... in 6th grade. Where's he at now?" 

You stood still like a deer in headlights, how were you supposed to defend yourself now? He had caught you red-handed.

"Look, Y/N, I'm at the altar every Sunday. I KNOW you have feelings for Karina, and I honestly don't blame you. Karina is kind no matter what and knows to love everybody regardless of who they are. Besides, God is forgiving. I'm not ashamed of you." He said.

"So...you think she'll like me no matter what?" You whispered.

"I think so, yeah. Why not give it a shot, she might like you back! Besides, she doesn't seem too keen on any of my mates anyway." The freckled boy chuckled.

"But what if this ruins everything? What if she never sees me the same again? What if she hates me fore-" 

"Y/N, hurry! The line for the pumpkin pie is getting longer!" You heard Karina shout from behind you as she grabbed your hand and hurried you to her spot in line. 

"Ughh, I've been dying for some since November! I need some sugar badly before I fall asleep on the floor." Karina noted.

You had to know. You had to know if this was all for nothing, if you should move on forever with no regrets, even if it meant her potentially outing you to your family. It wouldn't matter to you anyway, you could leave and never come back, and yet, you would always think of her.

 "Rinnie, can I ask you something? And be honest with me, please."

"Sure, what's up?"

"Do you think gay people deserve to die?"

She paused for a moment, as if having a war in her mind at the mention.

"...No, of course not. Everyone deserves God's love."

A safe response, you thought.

"So if you had a friend who came out to you, you'd still love them?"

Her eyes widened. "Y/N, are you saying you're-"

You couldn't take it anymore. You grabbed her hand and rushed her into the girl's bathroom. You had to free the demons consuming you.

"Karina, I know you put your faith before anything else, and you have every right to never talk to me again after this, but I have to get this off my chest." You spoke as you felt the tears welling in your eyes, as if pleading to a savoir. You took her hand gently and placed it on your chest, letting her feel the rapid heartbeat pounding in your chest.

Her eyes met yours with a worried concern in her eyes, a rosy red blush creeping on her face.

"...My heart, it beats for you. It always has, and no matter how hard I try and repent, nothing can ever replace you in my heart. You're all I've ever wanted."

At this point, the tears were pouring as your lip quivered. You were about to lose it all, but you were prepared.

"I love you Karina. I always have, and I always will."

A sob escaped your lips as her breath hitched, looking at you as if you were a soaked puppy lost in the rain.

"I know I'm g-going to burn forever, and I know that I'll never see you again, but I had to tell you before I left."

You let go of her hand as she slowly retracted from your chest. Your heart was screaming to stay but your feet were dragging you back out into the world that hated you so.

Your attempt back was stopped by a swift grab of your hand, turning your head finding Karina with tears in her eyes as she moved closer.

"Y/N...do you mean it?" She said with a wobbly voice.

Was this real? Has heaven finally granted you access through her?

"Of course I do," you said through tears. "How could I not? You're everything I've ever dreamed of, nothing else I love comes even close to you. You're a blessi-"

Your speech was cut off swiftly by a pair of soft lips meeting yours.

You closed your eyes, cupping her face gently as you took every moment in. There's no way you would ever need access to heaven, when heaven was right here with you, kissing you with buttery lips and soft hands on your shoulders.

Your lips parted ways ever so slowly, as if being separated by Atlas himself, but not even Atlas could have the strength to keep you away from her. 

"Karina..." You muttered, feeling her warm breath on yours. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to burn in hell forever because of me."

She paused before smiling once more. "To me, Y/N, you're worth burning for." 

You weren't certain about the future. You didn't know if you'd ever get to see your family or friends at church again. But you knew for certain that no matter what, you would love Karina until the day you died. Even if God sent you both to hell, you would carry her through the lakes of fire and move the mountains for her. And if God dared to seperate you, you would crawl mountains for eternity to gaze upon her again, because to you, she was better than any paradise promised to you. Karina was, and always will be, your heaven.

[crushh-existz]

Hot & Heavy (1)

childhoodbestfriend!ellie x reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Synopsis: Before you went to university in NYC, you and your childhood bestfriend, Ellie, had a pretty messy fight and haven't talked since. Dina convinced you to move back to Jackson after you graduated to get some work just until you can settle down in a nearby city. You needed the money while you soft-launched your photograghy business and you missed your friends and family anyway. Dina swears up and down that Ellie moved away years ago and you were stupid enough to trust her.

Warnings: cursing (more to come probably..), NOT PROOFREAD, men dni

1 Month Prior…

"Calm down babes, like I said, she moved out of Joel's like two years ago!" You sighed into your phone as you held it to your ear.

"I dunno Dina... Even if she's not in town, what if I bump into Joel? Like would he think I'm just this evil monster who's praying on his family's downfall??" Dina scoffed on the other side of the line.

"You're actually hopeless oh my god. No way you're saying this to me right now."

"UH-? You never can be to cautious." You could feel her eyes rolling through the phone.

"Trust me you're fine. Besides, Joel has been out a lot lately. He's always down at the lake hunting, even I have barely seen him." You sat silent for a moment, shifting on the metal bench of the bus stop. "I miss you girl, everything will be okay. I can't wait to see you home, JJ has been waiting for you too!"

You sighed. "Yeah... You're right. How's JJ been?"

"Great actually! Jesse's parents have been helping me a lot actually. He actually started preschool a week ago." You couldn't help yourself from smiling to yourself.

“Really? Oh my god is he already that old…” Dina laughed into the phone and replied with a 'mhmm'. You sigh before looking up and finding the city bus sitting just before you. "Shit- I gotta go the bus just got here. Bye girl- I'll see you in a bit."

11.09 6:26 A.M. - Your POV

It's been a few weeks since you got back to Jackson. If you're completely honest, being back here made you hot in the face. It was nostalgic really seeing old townsfolk and you didn't realize how much you actually missed all of them. Thankfully no signs of Joel or Ellie. You did see Maria and the market but it didn't seem like she saw you.

You sighed, laying your head onto your desk. You've been editing photos from a recent trip to the lake with Dina for the past half an hour now and finally got the lighting to look how you wanted. You checked the time and cursed under your breath once you realized your first shift at the local cafe you applied to was starting soon. You slid your headphones over your ears to go get ready.

11.09 7:16 A.M. - Ellie's POV

Ellie sighed as she trudged behind Joel going to get his morning coffee before he would drag her out to hunt. She didn't really enjoy the idea of spending hours in the mountain snow staring at some animals until he finally choose one to make into his next meal.

"Y'know there's a grocery store across the street I can just grab some meat-"

"Kiddo, some time in your lifetime you need to learn patience and what better example than hunting?"

"I just-"

Ellie was cut off by Joel walking up to the register and ordering his classic black coffee. Ellie really couldn't understand how he could drink that crap but who was she to judge anyway. She adjusted her backpack on her shoulders as she looked around the cozy shop. She didn't drop by often due to her lack of reason to. Just occasionally when Dina requests or when Joel needs her to pick up his order before he goes out to work.

She noticed small things like the fairy lights hung over the bathroom door and the small vines adorning the walls of the small shop. She also watched the workers as she zoned out the bustling of the people in the shop. Her eyes drifted from the man taking Joel's order to the girl standing before the glass display and taking photos of small pastries. She lingered her gaze on her, watching her focus on what she seems to be doing, which also made her look like a huge creep but she really couldn't tear her attention away and she couldn't figure out why.

She brushed it off as she pried her eyes away and follows Joel out of the cafe with his now acquired coffee. They left with a chime of the entrance door and started walking to Joel's pick-up.

"Hey kiddo, was that who I thought it was?" Joel asks before he takes an audible sip of his coffee. Ellie thinks about his question for a little ask she adjusted her leather jacket that she borrowed (permanently stole) from him.

“Mmm… What do you mean?” Frosty puffs of air float about as she asks him, reaching behind her to grab her water bottle from the side of her backpack she wore.

“That looked like that one friend you never seem to talk about anymore. Few years ago she was all you seemed to talk about. Never remembered her name though..” Joel seemed to ponder while the gears turned inside of poor Ellie’s brain as she brought the bottle to her mouth and just started to take a sip of her drink.

Realization hit her like a bus once she got to the passanger door of Joel's pickup, stopping in her tracks and starting to choke on her fail attempt at drinking. Joel looked at her confused and a bit worried.

"...Kiddo? You alright..?" Joel asked with furrowed brows as he peered over at her over the top of the pickup, basically just the messy auburn peaking over. She hastily got into the truck chucking her backpack into the footwell of the car. As he followed suit he watched as she messily wiped her face.

"... Yup- Just.. Went down the wrong pipe." He shrugged it off as he pushed the key into the ignition and decided to drop it.

"Whatever you say kid."

11.09 8:12 A.M - Your POV

Work was slow today, which you understood since you assumed finals were creeping up on students. That was one thing you do NOT miss since graduating and you're glad to be free from such hell. While your coworker was out in the front making sure to serve the few customers that did sprinkle in, you were in the back looking over the product photos your boss requested to take. Yes, it was for free, but it would be good for reference for future clients. Baby steps, was what you were telling yourself.

As you looked over them, you actually found yourself proud your work! Maybe you could fix the lighting a bit-- But nothing Adobe Workshop couldn't fix! You did accidentally catch some customers in the back of some photos but you could just easily cut them out.

While looking over one particular photo you took of a small coffee cup, steam visibly exiting the top of the cup, camera panned towards to the front glass door to get a blurred affect of two customers. She didn't realize she captured them in the moment but she saw a tall older man with a young woman beside him. They had their backs turned, exiting the cafe as he sipped his newly brewed coffee.

Funny how they looked familiar.

09/11 9:57 A.M. - Ellie's POV

The whole car ride Ellie was quiet other than shortened responses to Joel's lecturing on a subject she couldn't quite remember. As her thoughts raced it felt like hot blood pulsing in her veins, heavy memories weighing on her brain. Really, she thought she would never see your face ever again after everything she said to you. She really didn't understand why it took her so long to recognize you. Maybe it was the way you seemed a lot less scared of the world, the way you comfortable took up more space like you knew you belonged. Maybe it was the loose curls you let adorn the frame of your face, the curls she remembers you burning to a crisp just to be straight.

"It's so hard to maintain, does it look like I have that type of time?" Was what you would quip back whenever Ellie had pleaded to let your natural hair show at least once. She always thought it was pretty and suited you better than the straight hair people have bullied you into wearing in high school.

Joel snapped her out of her endless thinking by stopping the car, signaling they have arrived. Joel looked over to her as he pulled the keys out of the ignition. "Ready?"

Ellie replied with a small 'mhmm' before grabbing her bag and stepping out of the pick up.

11.09 2:43 P.M - Ellie's POV

—

A/N: LAWDDD omg i forgor about this until moot told me to hurry tf up... THERES GONNA BE MULTIPLE PARTS cuz lowk.. forgor what i was doing with this but trust ill figure it out. I DOUBT THERES GONNA BE MORE THAN 5 PARTS. i hope i did okay cuz lowk never done this b4.... OKAY BYE HOPE YOU LIKED ITTT lemme know what to improve on bc trust i need it...

Inspired by the lyrics of this song!! (the song's meaning is nowhere near what this fic is abt but it's just how I thought abt it..)