#eww who don't read
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skyrigel · 7 months ago
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" Fanfictions aren't literatu—" PULLS THE TRIGGER.
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 21 days ago
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love an eccentric wizard and their nonmagical apprentice. you love to see it
#random thoughts#my favorite fantasy category :)#thinking about this specifically because i was watching some videos on wish da movie#like the videos which rewrite the songs? so good#anyways there's this duet between the main character and her mentor which was definitely originally meant to be a romantic duet#but they definitely don't have that dynamic in the movie#and THAT got me thinking about a two parter from strange horizons#let me see if i can find it hold on#found it it's the magician's house by meghan mccarron#it's about this girl who is being mentored by this wizard and they have sex and it's super weird#it's been a while since i've read it but i really liked it#from what i remember the author seemed to have been really interested in fantastical age differences and power dynamics?#because i think they had another story where there's this bit where the mc is in a car with a vampire#and he's listening to music and she's like 'eww this is music my mom would listen to'#and it recontextualizes how she views the vampire. like he's her mom's age and he's hanging around high schoolers#ANYWAY. love the idea of a wizard's apprentice having a crush on their mentor and the mentor being secretly evil#and manipulating the apprentice into doing evil stuff knowing their true feelings for him#and at some point everything is revealed and the wizard is like 'join me and become my evil queen'#and the apprentice at the very least considers it#because. you know. you gotta#god i need to reread the magician's house#the second half is so good when the magician's wife finds out they're having sex and it's so fucked#they have sex allegedly so she can start to tap into her earth magic but the magician was DEFINITELY having some kind of feelings abt it#and the ending where they're in the tunnel and she doesn't hold his hand. SO GOOD!!!
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autism-corner · 3 months ago
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transgenda
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bluelockmaniac · 7 months ago
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SLEEP WITH, MARRY, KILL
⤷ ⋮ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 ⋮
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౨ৎ how to play: 1. there will be three characters (multifandom). simply choose one you'd want to sleep with, one you'd want to marry, and one you'd... well, kill. 2. each character will have a comment based on your decision, read it!
ೀ warning: characters may have some harsh or suggestive replies, so proceed with caution !
౨ৎ characters from the following fandoms: BLUE LOCK, genshin impact, honkai star rail, JJK
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1. 彡 who would you sleep with, marry, kill?
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⤑ what he'd say if you chose to sleep with him
𝐃𝐑. 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎: "oh? you want to sleep with me? i'm afraid i'd rather watch paint dry."
𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐀: "haha! not surprised. i'll make it worth your while, y/n."
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈: "y/n, i believe it is best to refrain from such... engagements. i must respectfully decline."
⤑ what he'd say if you chose to marry him
𝐃𝐑. 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎: "hm, i can hardly contain my enthusiasm. it seems you've also been infected by the disease named stupidity." (translation: "i'll consider it,")
𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐀: "what's the hurry? just kidding, this seems like the beginning of our grand adventure, my love."
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈: "...what? y/n, marriage is a serious commitment... it requires careful consideration— i apologize, i seem to have forgotten this was a game."
⤑ what he'd say if you chose to kill him
𝐃𝐑. 𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎: "you know y/n, sometimes it's better to keep your lips sealed and give the impression that you're stupid, rather than to open your mouth and remove all the doubt they might have had?"
𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐀: "damn it, y/nnn! so easy to love yet so hard to hate..."
𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈: "...i won't hold it against you."
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2. 彡 who would you sleep with, marry, kill?
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⤑ what he'd say if you chose to sleep with him
𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄: "eww... but i suppose i could lower my standards for one night..."
𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐄: "oho? fascinating. we can use each other for tonight, just make sure you don't disappoint me, friend."
𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑: "fine, but only because i pity you. it's the closest you'll ever get to perfection, anyway."
⤑ what he'd say if you chose to marry him
𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄: "w-what? me, marry you? pathetic..."
𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐄: "love is a gamble, but with you it seems like it's a guaranteed win..."
𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑: "Marry me? That's laughable— and what makes you so special, hm?"
⤑ what he'd say if you chose to kill him
𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄: "i'd like to see you try, you insignificant... human."
𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐄: "hmm, y/n, i didn't know you were one to pull risky moves. i'll let fate decide my outcome, let's see if luck is on my side."
𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑: "tch, likewise."
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3. 彡 who would you sleep with, marry, kill?
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⤑ what he'd say if you chose to sleep with him
𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎: "hell yeah, i love sleepovers! i'll bring suguru and shoko— wait whaaat?"
𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄: "...my apologies. while i am honoured by your proposal, i must politely decline as it is not my intention to take advantage of your precious body."
𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋: "y'wanna fuck? no need t'ask twice, pretty thing."
⤑ what he'd say if you chose to marry him
𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎: "haha, of course. after all, the question is: who wouldn't choose to marry me?"
𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄: "it would be a privilege to marry you, y/n... but perhaps we should start slow and take it one step at a time."
𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋: "say less, darlin'. i'll give ya the best life y'could ask for."
⤑ what he'd say if you chose to kill him
𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎: "haha! not if i kill you first! :)"
𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄: "ah, i apologize. it's raining again in fontaine."
𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋: "mm' pretty, don't know what i did but, y'know what they say? hate sex is the best sex." (a/n: sorry)
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4. 彡 who would you sleep with, marry, kill?
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⤑ what he'd say if you chose to sleep with him
𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘: "oh? guess i've got a different purpose for using my handcuffs now."
𝐒𝐀𝐄: "yuck... whoever is willing to sleep with you is just too lazy to jerk off..." (ouch)
𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈: "hmm? how much are ya willing to pay?"
⤑ what he'd say if you chose to marry him
𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘: "...let us sit down and discuss this, perhaps over a cup of tea."
𝐒𝐀𝐄: "ugh... i have no interest in someone as lukewarm as you. i have better things to do than waste my time with you."
𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈: "pftt, nah."
⤑ what he'd say if you chose to kill him
𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘: "careful now, y/n. i won't be able to reduce your prison sentence if you were to commit murder."
𝐒𝐀𝐄: "i don't give a shit. this game is such a waste of my time."
𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈: "oh, are you flirting with me?"
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5. 彡 who would you sleep with, marry, kill?
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⤑ what he'd say if you chose to sleep with him
𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇: "well i certainly am looking forward to decorating you with love bites... you'll look like a gorgeous piece of art by the time i'm done with you."
𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎: "uhh... like innocently sleeping beside each other or— oh. fuck yes, come here."
𝐀𝐋𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐌: "i'll consider it if it's a one-time thing, but later... this book is quite intriguing."
⤑ what he'd say if you chose to marry him
𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇: "seriously? there is no time to waste then. i'll build us the grandest mansion ever known in sumeru!"
𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎: "you... what? but i guess the idea of having a family with you does sound exciting..."
𝐀𝐋𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐌: "i apologize, but getting married seems like a hassle. i'd rather live a comfortable life on my own."
⤑ what he'd say if you chose to kill him
𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇: "mhmm, such a pretty liar."
𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎: "don't say that. shut up and kiss me."
𝐀𝐋𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐌: "well, what can i say? you're as smart as you look."
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★ 𝑮𝑨𝑴𝑬 𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑹 . . .
★彡 feel free to share the characters you chose in the comments ! ⤷ the artists for the fanarts used are credited in image desc ! ⤷ reblogs, comments, and likes appreciated !
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© 2024 bluelockmaniac — do not repost, copy, translate, modify, etc my work on any platform !
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changetyre · 3 months ago
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So what if its the reader and lando are enemies (but both are teammates at mclaren) they absolutely despise each other for no reason and it’ll stay that way (none of this hidden love masked by feelings stuff this time) and they both get stuck in a closet at hq or something and they dont get out for a while. its rlly small in there so there bodies are almost touching always and one thing leads to another but its just steamy stuff but while they still hate eachother but they keep hitting there body parts on stuff in the closet and it keeps getting them more riled up so they just decide to stop?
idk why its so specific or why i thought of this rn but i need it 🙏 feel free to change anything if you’re not comfortable or have other ideas (again sorry about it being a bit long)
i rlly love ur writing 💗honestly so excited to read this one🫶✨
What the f*** did we just do? II Lando Norris x Driver!Reader Ⓦ
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SUMMARY: Working with someone you dislike is one thing, but working with someone who brings nothing but the worst side out of you is the hardest thing on the planet.
WARNINGS: **18+**, not proofread, hate.
A/N: Quite short but still hope you enjoy ;)
"You are truly the biggest fucking idiot I have ever met in my entire life." It took everything in you not to punch the man in front of you right now after he once again had successfully taken you both out of the race because he couldn't bear the thought of
"I'm the idiot?!" Lando yelled back at you. "You're the one who couldn't put her fucking ego aside for one fucking second to let the faster car through!" He followed after you as you attempted to get away from him.
The people at McLaren knew it wasn't pretty between you too even on a regular day so whenever you were angry at each other it was best to let you hash it out which meant the rooms and hallways quickly emptied as soon as they saw you both walk in.
"Faster car." you laughed obnoxiously loud. "Maybe that cup did more damage than you imagined-" You gestured to the small cut on his nose. "Since it seems you can't read the data right anymore." You continued laughing at him which only fueled his anger.
"The only thing doing damage to me is you!" He yelled to you again as he kept following you.
You weren't exactly where you were going only hoping he would leave you alone as you opened an unfamiliar door walking into darkness.
"Then maybe you should just-" You were interrupted as you walked into a shelf, Lando bumping into you soon after as you were enveloped in darkness after the door closed after you.
"What the fu*ck, watch out!" Lando muttered annoyed as he attempted to walk back only to hit the door.
"You're the one who's following me around like a lost fucking puppy." You reminded him as you reached for your phone to get some light.
Lando beat you to it lighting up the place and showing the tiny electrical room you had walked into.
"Why the hell did you even walk in here?" He asked you.
"I was trying to get away from you dipshit." You shoved past him as best as you could in the tiny space feeling parts of him that made you gag as you went to try to open the door.
"It's locked from the outside genius don't you think I already tried that?" Lando gestured to the nonexistent door knob.
"HELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" You banged on the door yelling hoping someone would hear you.
"OW! Shut the fuck up!" Lando was startled by your screaming.
"I am not staying in here with you another second." You shuffled looking back at him before shuffling again towards the door.
"Shit stop moving." Lando held your waist stilling you.
"Eww get your hands off me!" You slapped his hand away.
"JUST stop moving!" He grits his teeth.
You were about to turn back but felt something in the back of your ass. Once you realized what it was you were ready to yell back at him.
"I swear to god if you don't stop moving-" Lando tried to stop you as you began turning around.
"You're so fucking disgusting, what is your-" Your breath hitched as his hand rubbed at your front all of a sudden.
"This is your fault!" Lando tried cupping himself to stop you from rubbing against him without realizing his hand was pressing against your slit now.
"We have to get out of here-" Lando moved his hand again making your breath hitch again and you thrust forward unintentionally searching for more friction.
"What just-" Lando realized what his hand had grazed this time. "Are you really-"
"You have no right no speak right now!" You reminded him of his own predicament.
"I cannot walk out of here right now with this." Lando pointed the lamp down at the large bulge in his pants.
"What the hell do you want me to do about it?!" You angrily asked him.
"Don't think you can walk out of here with this either!" Lando pressed his finger to your wet core. You grasped his hand tightly.
"Sh*t don't-" You stilled his hand but his finger still pressed against you.
"You're not exactly helping here." He pointed the light back to his bulge which you noticed got tighter.
"Eww, take care of that and I'll take care of myself." You turned back around looking for anything to dry yourself with as Lando proceeded to unzip his pants freeing himself.
"What the f-" You felt Lando's dick against your ass. "Is that?"
"Where the fuck do you expect me to put it?!" Lando defended himself, the lack of space really making this impossible.
You shimmied turning back around realizing this only made it worse as his tip now pressed between your legs directly on your clit.
"Shit, this isn't helping." Lando's head fell back in pleasure.
"Mmm-" You couldn't hold back the moan. "Let's just get this done with fast." You suggested as you opened your legs slightly letting his dick slide between your legs a little further.
"Agh fuck!" Lando was taken aback by the unexpected friction.
"You're gonna get my jeans dirty!" you complained.
"Then take them off!" Lando bit back.
"Turn the light off!" You yelled back at him.
"Fine!" Lando reluctantly agreed shutting off his phone. He heard as your pants unzipped before you moved back slightly as you pulled your pants down.
He expected to feel your bear skin against his dick but what he certainly didn't expect was feeling your folds over his dick moments later.
"Holy sh*t." Lando moaned breathlessly as he could feel your wetness coat his member.
"Let's just hurry up" You said equally breathless thankful you couldn't see anything right now, hoping to imagine Lando was someone else right now and not the person you despised the most on this planet.
You felt Lando pull back as much as the room allowed him before moving forward his dick rubbing against you.
You moaned in pleasure enjoying the friction attempting to move as much as you could too.
"This would go faster if I could just-" Lando started.
"Don't even think about it." You knew what he'd suggest and embarrassingly enough you knew you would finish faster too if he slipped inside you but the thought repulsed you too much still.
"Fine," Lando muttered angrily as you felt him grip your waist and pull you against him as he began thrusting back and forward faster.
You would've complained but the pleasure was too good for you to try to stop it.
"Agh shit-" You moaned as you could feel the knot starting to form in the pit of your stomach.
"Fuck I'm close." Lando panted and you were getting lost in the pleasure.
Your mind was in a haze you forgot who was doing this as your eyes squeezed shut in delight.
"Just fuck me already!" You asked him, a momentary lapse in judgment you had no further time to process as you felt Lando slip inside of you.
"Agh fuck you're so tight." Lando would've cum just from the feeling right then if it wasn't for the reminder that it was you he was inside of.
"Just go harder and shut up." You muttered as Lando obliged picking up the pace and fucking into you.
"Hmm- ahhh- harder!" You were reaching your high and only hoped Lando was near too.
"He began thrusting faster and no more than a few seconds later your legs trembled as you came on his dick, Lando following soon after as he came inside of you. You felt his cum fill you up as you came down from your high trembling at the sensitiveness." You tried catching your breath as Lando pulled out.
A few seconds later the post-orgasm clarity hit you both realizing what had just happened.
"Ewww what the fuck did we just do!" You screamed at him as you could feel his cum start dripping out of you giving you shivers of disgust.
"GET US OUT OF HERE!" Lando was also mortified as he felt your wetness around him as he tried to tuck himself away.
Lando banged at the door harder as you grabbed your phone calling for help. You had to get out of here and take a bath in bleach now!
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stvrnioloslvt · 1 month ago
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the estes method - Matt Sturniolo
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bf!matt × gf!reader
PART TWO HERE
disclaimer: the following content might not be suitable for everyone. please, read the triggers list before reading this story. also, english is not my first language, but i hope you enjoy it nevertheless!
triggers: ghosts, shadow figures, the estes method, kinda scary? (not a lot though, i'm the first scaredy cat out there)
inspired by the trailer of this week's episode of hell week. and yes, sam and colby make an appearance in the story. enjoy!
「 ★ ★ ★ 」
i knew it was a bad idea. i mean, as much as i loved haunted places and acting like a ghosthunter, i knew it had complications that i was not prepared for.
but when the triplets were invited by sam and colby for their new episode of hell week they had no problem in tagging me along. and, frankly speaking, i was excited. the last time i filmed with them nothing much had happened, so i was curious to discover what would happen this time. however, nothing could have prepared me for what awaited ahead of me.
1:30 a.m.
"guys, can i do the estes method?"
"you really love that method, don't you?" the cam that sam was holding went straight to my face, startling me. i chuckled as colby gave me the ok to perform it.
"by the way, am i the only one that has been seeing things since i stepped foot in this place?"
five heads turned towards me, eyes wide open.
"what did you just say?" asked nick, turning pale.
"like, shadows that aren't ours moving on the walls, figures running from one room to another...is it only me?" at that point i felt like i was going crazy: the boys didn't have that much of a different reaction, and the camera was still in my face.
"so basically what you're saying is that you have been seeing things for over an hour and you haven't said anything?" sam and colby exchanged knowing stares, probably making a mental annotation to check the footage to see if they caught anything.
"i mean, even when i saw those shadow figures right in front of you, you didn't say anything, so i thought that i was hallucinating. but like...now it's worse" i ended the sentence with a whisper, as the camera panned to the triplets' faces.
"are they touching you? talking?" at this point chris just went back and forth, watching out in case he missed something.
"no, nothing, just circling us...or me. i'm not sure. hey, do you think it might be because i drew like tons of protective sigils on me?"
"YOU WHAT?" screamed sam and colby. i stumbled back, not expecting such a strong reaction.
"yeah, i figured that it could have been dangerous to come here without some sort of protection. i drew them on the triplets too, one per each, but no one is seeing what i am seeing. do you think that they're messing with me because they cannot touch me or whatsoever?"
"could be. messing with your mind instead of directly attacking you on a physical level is definitely an option. just...let us know if something happens, ok?"
i nodded. and, as we moved through the building, i prayed to whatever existed above us to keep us safe.
i turned towards matt, who was looking at me with a worried gaze.
"baby, are you sure you are ok? we can step outside if you need to"
i smiled and tiptoed to kiss him on the cheek. our hands brushed together as matt grabbed it to keep me close to him.
"eww disgusting"
"fuck off, nick"
"you too, bitch"
2:17 a.m.
"ok guys, now that the triplets have done the estes method it is y/n's turn" as colby spoke to the camera, matt put the blindfold on my eyes. he bent down to whisper in my ear a shy "i love you", then he put the headphones around my neck.
"y/n, are you ready?"
there was something heavy in the air. something wrong, something scary. i could feel the ways the boys were tensing up, anticipating something, anything. i felt my heart beating faster, my hands cold and sweaty as i saw pitch black in front of me.
with a raspy voice i replied to sam "yeah, i'm ready."
and so it begun.
the estes method
"chris is sitting next to you. if anything happens, tap on his leg"
i took a big breath in as the headphones fell snugly on my ears.
immediately i was hit with a multitude of noises: radio interferences, tv static noise, every once in a while i caught on the voice of a woman. she sounded like she was hurting.
"one"
the thing i hated the most about this method was that from the moment in which the headphones started blasting sounds it was as if you were alone in a parallel world. no matter how hard i squinted my eyes, or how much i tried to block out those noises, i just couldn't see or hear the people that were all around me.
"no"
"pain"
"hurt"
that voice, that woman...she was scared for her life. every time she spoke i could hear her whimper, almost crying.
"guys i think it is a woman speaking and she sounds like she is in pain. i don't know if it is related to what you've been asking but i thought you would want to know it"
the noise in my ears started getting stronger, higher. i put my head in my hands that were resting on my knees, then gripped the headphones so i could hear the woman better. there was something sinister about the new noise, it seemed like it was trying to cancel out the spirit in pain.
the best way i could describe it is as if a war had started and none of the two opponents could prevail on the other. i felt my head aching in an attempt to just focus on something, anything. but as soon as i tried to do so, the noises would get even stronger, leaving me panting as if i just ran a marathon. i felt someone's hand grab my thigh and shake it hard enough for me to feel it. somebody else tried to take the headphones out of my grip, but i held them in place.
finally, i managed to hear something.
"help!" screamed the woman.
and as soon as that word left my mouth, all the noise stopped, except for the tv static noise. my breath slowed down, and i loosened up the grip on the headphones. just as i was about to ask the boys if they unplugged the device, a growling, low voice screamed in my ears "go away!"
i screamed, terrified, as i ripped the headphones away from my ears and fell on the ground in front of me. i remember calling out matt's name, and he rushed to take me in his embrace as i cried terrified of what just happened.
chaos ensured: the boys scrumbled all around me to understand what i heard, but as soon as they did that colby called out a figure standing on the doorway.
"let's go outside, we can't stay here anymore!" someone screamed, and just like that matt picked me up bridal style and ran out with the others.
"nick, open the fucking car door so i can place her inside"
"on it"
the car
"baby, are you okay?"
"fuck, she's terrified. y/n. y/n! nod if you can hear us"
i nodded. just lightly, but enough for them to notice.
"baby, can you tell us what happened? what did you hear?"
i pulled matt inside the car so he could hold me while i tried to explain in the best way possible everything without being hindered by the fear that was running through my veins.
"that's crazy. guys, i've never seen anything like that before" said colby.
"for sure. it seemed like she was in a trance. y/n, did you feel us try to take those headphones off of you ears? you had a death grip on them, seriously"
"yeah, i felt it" i whispered, still shaking in matt's embrace. the poor boy could do nothing but hold me and caress my hair in hopes that it might help me to cool down.
"there was like...noise. a lot. at first i heard the woman speaking, then something else came up and started to try cancel out the woman. the last thing she said was help, and then..."
"and then what, baby?"
"and then there was silence. no noise at all, but i still couldn't hear you guys. i was going to ask if you had unplugged the headphones but..."
was i shaking again?
chills ran down my spine at the memory of that awful, awful voice.
"c'mon baby you can do it. say it"
"all of a sudden something growled in my ear. i don't even know how to explain it, it seemed like it didn't come from the headphones. he growled go away but i heard it so fucking clearly and strong that it felt like a scream right in my ears. i'm so sorry, i didn't want to scare you, i swear"
a heavy silence doomed upon us as the boys exchanged worried looks. matt held me tighter, in an attempt to protect me from my own memories.
"we believe you, y/n, we're just shocked that this happened...have we ever lived something like this before, sam?"
"no, never. i had chills, that was fucking terrifying"
"guys i think we should wrap it up here and go home"
"yeah. matt, do you want me to drive you guys home? so you can stay in the back with y/n"
"yes, please. let's go, i really don't want to spend another second in this place."
「 ★ ★ ★ 」
would you guys like a part 2? just pure fluff, matt taking care of y/n. let me know in the comments <3
all pictures were taken from pinterest. credits to the owners!
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sweetestcaptainhughes · 2 months ago
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#32 with Jack after reading the previous one you wrote 🤭🤭
ooo of course I love to talk about DadJack! here. Honestly out of all of the Hughes brothers Jack seems the best with kids naturally and I can't even explain my logic.
Drabble Masterlist.
"Why did we have to have kids?"
It was a Saturday and Jack had a rare Saturday off in the middle of the season. A few years ago you both wouldn't of even left your beds. Now you both are waking up at 5 am to your babygirl waking you up wanting a bottle. Which then wakes your three year old son who decides he is now wide awake. It's like a butterfly affect because now your dog wants his breakfast and morning walk and the sun isn't even up yet.
Usually this was an everyday occurance and neither you or Jack ever once complained. But today, both of you just wanted to sleep in but your daughter has a strong set of lungs and woke you both up at 4:49 AM today, Jack's first Saturday off in months. Both of you moaned of exchuastion as you heard your daughter.
"ahh remind me why dud we have kids?" Jack mumbles rubbing his closed eyes as you sat up.
"honestly at moments like this I don't know." you mumbled a response as your dog started barking stratching at the door as your son walked into your room.
"mama I'm hungry." he spoke softly walking into the room with his baby blanket dragging on the floor.
"okay baby." you answer as you swing your legs over the side of your bed and get up. Before you could even ask Jack was already mumbling something about how he was going to the nursey to get your daughter.
"mama up." your son asked as he reached up to you.
"course" you mumble bending down and getting your son giving him a morning kiss as you carry him down the stairs.
As your making your son some chocolate chip pancakes his request. He wanted to help you so he's sitting in his PJ's still sitting on the counter. He helped you mix the batter and pour the chocolate chips in. Now he is still sitting on the counter watching you as you make the pancakes on the stovetop as Jack walks in carrying your babygirl.
Jack walks over to you and kisses you good morning still having your daughter on his hip as your son screeches "eww daddy."
"what? you don't like me giving morning kisses anymore?" Jack playfully asks your son as he puts your daughter in her highchair.
"no." he giggles as Jack playfully runs across the kitchen, grabbing your son and attacking him with kisses as he squels at Jack.
"daddy st- stop" he giggles as he attempts to push Jack's face away. Jack leaves one more gentle kiss on your son's cheek and then does pull away.
"morning lil' man." Jack greets his son. "whatcha making with mama?" he asks his son even though he can see it's pancakes.
"pancakes with chocolate chips." your son smiles at him.
"ooo. who did put the chocolate in?" Still holding your son on Jack's hip, looking at his son like he's holding on to top secret information. "did you?" Jack whispers.
Your son nods at Jack, and smiles wide as Jack looks suprised. All you could do watching this interaction as you finished cooking was smile, reminding yourself how much you loved watching Jack interact with both of your children.
After eating a very early breakfast a 5:15 in the morning all four of you climbed into your and Jack's bed turning on your son's current favorite Disney movie cars. By the time Lightening McQueen fell out of his trailer, your son and daughter were already back asleep. Neither you or Jack were really watching the movie instead both lost fixated watching your kids cuddled and asleep together.
"sometimes I can't believe we made them." Jack whispered throwing a protective arm around the kids.
"yeah I'm glad we had kids Jacky." you whisper suddenly feeling tired.
"me too baby." stretching his hand a little further squeezing your hip.
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lysatoru · 5 months ago
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heavenly - cigarettes after sex
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gojo fluff! gojo x gn!reader
gojo’s favorite evenings are when he lays his head on your chest and hears you yapping <3
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Even though Gojo was busy most of the time with his missions and his title of "strongest", there were still a few quiet evenings when Gojo came home. You heard the keys in the lock of your front door and realized that he was finally home. If he came home in the evening, that meant he was off, at least for tonight. So you smile stupidly as you wait for him to come through the door.
"Hi there," he says, kissing your forehead and tucking an arm behind your back. "How was your day?" you asked, already knowing the answer. "As usual," it was on.
After a good shower, Satoru joins you on the sofa, you're reading a book "The Metamorphosis" by Kafka. He turns on the TV, but doesn't look at it, he looks at you. "The Metamorphosis, eh? Sounds too heady for me," he says with a sneer — "It's a man turning into a cockroach, it's not that complicated" you reply. "Eww! It's disgusting, poor thing" he says, mimicking disgust.
You laugh and he continues to stroke your legs, his elbow resting on the edge of the sofa, holding his head.
"You're really beautiful, you know that?"
You close your book and look at him, "What's the matter with you tonight?" you say, smiling. "I'm not allowed to compliment the love of my life?" he says, taking your book and resting his head on your chest. "You could have said earlier that you wanted to cuddle!" you then start stroking his hair, with your long nails. "No, you're sexy when you read" — he replies, closing his eyes — "Mmh.. Your petting will get me killed."
You stay like that for half an hour, in silence, just the two of you.
If Satoru had a reason for coming home every night, it was because after your work, he knew you'd be waiting for him and welcoming him with open arms, damn it, how he loved your cuddles, the warmth of your body, the softness of your skin and the smell that emanated from it.
You break the silence for a brief moment, "Remember my friend with the black hair and the glasses?" — "Oh yes, the one who left her boyfriend because he cheated on her?" — you laugh, tugging at his hair, how tactless he could be sometimes - "Yeah, well, she had a date last week and it went really well". Satoru immediately rises from your chest, leaning on his arm. "You've got to be kidding! With who? What they look like?" — Satoru looks more excited than you do at the idea that your friend had met someone, Satoru loves gossip. "they’re slightly smaller than her, tattooed, black hair, brown eyes and they seem very nice!" You reply, happy to know that finally, your friend might be getting some respite with this new person. "They'd better not cheat on her" replies Satoru, before lying back down on your chest. You laugh.
These were Satoru's favorite evenings, no fancy parties, no appearances, no hypocrisy. Just him and you against the rest of the world. That's why he loved coming home at night, because he knew he'd get his fill of gossip, and he loved it. Your life was so much simpler than his and yet all the relationships between your friends seemed so complicated, but he loved hearing you talk. He loved, above all, to rest his head on your chest and hear your vocal chords resonate and your heart beat. You were there, you'd always be there, waiting for him. What had he done to deserve someone who could put up with his lifestyle and his much busier-than-average schedule, with the added risk of never coming back once he left the house? But fate had put you in his path, and he thanked the gods every day for that.
The gossip session must have lasted a good two hours, you coming back again and again to the same stories from the past, he knew them by heart but he could listen to them every day without flinching.
"Don't you think it smells a bit burnt?" asks Satoru. "She found him cheating on her- wait, what? no, my lasagna!" You get up just as early to go and look in the oven, the lasagna couldn't wait for the gossip session to end. Gojo stands up, laughs and walks over to you. He takes you by the waist, "You're so good in the kitchen, that's what I like most about you" he says ironically, kissing your neck. "I wanted to please you" — "Oh no, baby… We’ll order, it's no big deal mmh?". He embraces you tightly, "Yes, we should order." He chuckles one last time, you laugh too,
what he'd give to hear you laugh every day.
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a little fluff! i think there are grammar mistakes and im sorry for that, english isn’t my first language😿
requests are open! jjk and also haikyu!
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frogzxch · 11 months ago
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Trueform!Sukuna x Servantgoddess!Reader
Summery:
Reader is basically in a servants body which is like her vessel in this era and she was secretly a goddess from another uni but unexpectedly she died in her world and got rebirth when the servant touch a red spider lily
Slight smut, fluff, death, didnt fully proof read huhu
Word count? I dont know
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As always the two face man again killed a servant for a small mistake and you have to clean the body after it was getting annoying for you as you wish to go back to your home your own world but sadly you died as you already prepared the tools you will use for cleaning the body one of the concubine entered the throne room scared such a beautiful girl pure and innocent on the outside but yet naive and stupid in the inside the king of curses doted her alot Sukuna has favorite concubine and less favorite one
" There's my good girl come here... " Sukuna spoke on a soothing and velvety voice
The girl immediately go to him on his throne as he tap his lap the concubine sat on his lap obediently you already know what will come next the king will just fuck the life out of her on his throne again you can hear loud moans from the girl as Sukuna fucks her hard in her wet cunt the girl was blank on her mind as she is full of Sukuna large cocks it was discusting for you as you were done you silently go out of the throne room and in a insan you open the bag of the body and puke
" eww....god give me back my life jesus I can't take it anymore "
After disposing the body you proceed to go back and just do what servant usually do that is serving and helping and sleep and wake up early the cycle goes on and on your lucky enough to be alive. As days turns week and weeks turns into months you were desperate to go home and try to find a way every night you would cry silently in the room figuring out how to go back to your own world in peace...
" you servant girl I need you to pick up some fine kimono in the market hurry! "
Ahh the concubine who the king of curses loves only for pleasure her name was Yuri Ryomen she was getting on your nerves to as well sometimes you just wish your powers and immortality will be back so you can just kill this mf in peace bu sadly god punish you I guess as Yuri throws the golden coins at you, you just pick it up and bow then go out of the temple and head your way to the nearby village and go to a store after buying you notice Yuri was running at you in a scared expression she push you forward then you see a curse....a large one you look at her
" m-my lady please stay back "
In a instant she throws on a tantrum and scream like a child throwing a rock at the curse it was big and scary looking with four red glowing eyes looking like a shadow with smoke sharp teeths ready to bite it's prey but in the moment it seems familiar to you it was like your companion in your world with no hesitation you rush to the curse Yuri was in full shock but ran away as soon you go closer to it she left you but no worries to you once you touch the curse it recognize you and it communicates to you
" Y-Yn....I can't believe it it's you my lady! " it's voice echo's through your ears no one can hear it speak other than it's owner you smirk and felt much more confident
" My lovely companion such a lucky day to be with you again, I hope you don't miss me to much hm? " You pat it and it goes through your skin it was going in your body that you stole, you two became one it's like venom hihi you giggled and look around then just go back to the temple like nothing had happend.
Next day you haven't heard anything about Yuri it's like she disappeared from the world without a word as you serve the food to your master the king himself he quite senses something in you, you can sense his eye looking at you piercing deep in your soul " you.. " your heart start to beat so fast you raise your head " yes master? " Sukuna was still looking straight at you coldly " Come closer.. " you nodded and go closer to him as he stands up on his throne and goes to you he was 7th tall and damn the size difference " what is it my lord? " He brush the strands bothering your hair suddenly he leans closer he can see something deep in your eyes " You can't hide yourself from me my little flower " in a instant you froze and look at him " w-what... " he let out a deep chuckle " don't play dumb y/n....why do you keep hiding? First you got killed now your locking yourself up in this servant body? " he lifted you up with his upper set of arms and you hold onto his shoulder as his upper right arm cuped your small fragile face as the other upper arm kiss your left hand you we're totally confused yet felt strange " what are you doing...im confuse.. " you look at him with a confuse expression " dear....I will make you remember.... " and after cupping your face he gesture his right upper hand to your forehead and your true identity once again reveal your hair color changed and also your eyes and face to your goddess form....
At the end you live with him trying to process what happend....
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Sooo yeeehhh plot twist the goddess yn was actually kuna late dead wife and kuna decided to look for a concubine and there is yuri, well Yuri basically got killed by him because in that curse scene he was there watching all along it was a test and when he found out abt you he instantly didn't hesitate to have you back to become his wife once again his queen his one and only love
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acidakerizo-47 · 2 months ago
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omg FINALLY this is my (and my son's) AU idea with development of the relationships between these characters
it's totally ZADR AU I know but I don't think that I'm doing smth gross like TOOOOO many antis people loves to think like "eww this is a proship" "don't ship THE CHILDREN" "Zim has no reproductive organs and he is 160+ y.o." "they're enemies your AU braking canon" and other boring nonsense...
I mean I tried to make my idea of Zim and Dib's relationship from enemies to lovers in the healthiest form? idk but if you feeling uncomfortable from this fact PLEASE don’t read this post, unfollow me and forget about my existence to make your life easier for you, take care of your mental health.
well, now i can start.
first stage of their relationship in this AU — mostly from nobody to friends (their feud ended according to Dib since he became disappointed with people and his father who forgot about Florpus) with slight romantic interest due to puberty from 13 to 15 y.o...
Dib believes for a long time that his sympathy for Zim is temporary and convinces himself that he is heterosexual but still there are moments of flirtation between them. Zim, in turn, considers Dib to be his closest person and most beloved but doesn't understand what romantic love is like many other Irkens therefore Zim reacts to Dib's flirting with embarrassment but takes note of this and learns
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next level REAL romantic stuff where the feelings of both guys turned out to be mutual and they tried to have a serious romance from 16-20 y.o. and they became inseparable in most positive plan than they was in their 12 years before Florpus
still they can argue about something or deliberately piss each other off just to remember the old days when they was a children (their quarrels and attempts to anger each other most often proceed in a comic form and do not carry the goal of harming their lover. Moreover, they never use violence or manipulation against each other!!)
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FINAL FORM. BOTH fathers (they have two children and they planing more xd) and already marriads of course, they doing about one job in the field of science (Dib replaces Professor Membrane, and Zim is his main assistant) and most often visit space and other planets to research and in some cases save life on them.
Dib still trying sometimes prove the paranormal although Zim doesn't interfere with his childhood dream at all and willingly maintains his interest and participates in this without endangering his disguise (likewise Dib doesn’t try to reveal Zim in the open)
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I WAS TOO INSPIRED FROM OTHER ARTISTS IDEAS WITH THIS CHALLENGE OF THIS SHIP 🤩
upd. I JUST FOUND OUT WHAT IS MEANING "PET MAMES" AND I WAS TOO STUPID ON IT AND I'LL FIX IT LATER MAYBE 💀
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milaisreading · 10 months ago
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5th times the charm?
Pairings: Itoshi Sae x Isagi's sister!Yn
Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open. This is just a small Valentine's Day idea I had, since the day is approaching us quickly.
⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️
Ever since he could remember, Yoichi thought of of his sister as someone who could be described as a hopeless romantic at heart. And while that was something he really admired in (Y/n), her faith in love and finding the right person, it also worried him. He loved his sister a lot, she was a kind and very caring person, so he always wanted the best for her. He mainly wanted her to have a good partner, since finding one was always one of her goals, but Yoichi noted one thing about her crush and dating history. And that was, (Y/n) always seemed to find assholes as love interests. While he doesn't remember much about (Y/n)'s pre-school and elementary school, he would sometimes hear his mom and her talk about those things in the kitchen, a random memory popping out here and there. Middle school and high school was something he does remember pretty vividly the two times she would come home crying. Sure, back then he didn't know much about these things and would try to cheer (Y/n) up, but now that he is older he is more aware of these things. That's why he took it upon himself to keep his teammates away from (Y/n). They were good football players and friends, don't get Yoichi wrong, but he couldn't imagine them with his sister.
Then, to his horror, when his career took of in Re Al, he was confronted with the harsh truth that Sae Itoshi of all people asked (Y/n) out, to which she ended up agreeing! Yoichi tried to keep his opinion at the time to himself, not wanting to offend Sae. But, once the siblings were left alone, he warned his sister about dating him.
'Don't worry. I am sure this time it will be different.' Yoichi recalled her words, and he just hopes she was right. And if she wasn't, an accidental kick of the ball into Sae's face will help him calm down.
Looking at the digital clock, (Y/n) yawned as she read the time.
"Already 23:30... and I am not even done decorating this. I shouldn't have waited till last minute." She muttered to herself, looking down at the homemade chocolate and at some of the decorative items she bought the day before. It was the night before Valentine's Day and (Y/n) was doing her absolute best for the chocolate to turn out as good as possible. She really wanted to impress Sae with it, but also see his reaction. It's something she would do ever since she was little. Her mom would tell her to always look at how a guy will react to the little gifts, and make her judgement based on that. And well, so far (Y/n) faced disappointment after disappointment.
'Eww. The card looks stupid, and pink isn't even my favorite color! I am a boy, are you stupid?!'
(Y/n) flinched as she remembered one of the first boys she liked rip her Valentine's Day card into two and throw it at her. That was disappointment #1.
'I don't like this chocolate brand. Next time get me something else.' Safe to say she never looked at disappointment #2 again. Why were elementary school boys so into brand named chocolate? (Y/n) hummed as she mixed some blue and green into the white chocolate.
'The chocolate tastes nice, I didn't know you could cook or whatever. But, you aren't my type, thanks for the chocolate, tho.' Disappointment #3 came up in middle school. (Y/n) wasn't sure why she cried that day, possibly because he was the first guy she had a serious crush on? It was a mystery to her.
'I don't like girls like you. You are way too much of a high maintenance. And besides, I found someone else. She looks more like a football players girlfriend.' Disappointment #4 came along in her final year of high school. Oliver was someone she met by chance, he wasn't her classmate or anything. Just a boy she met at a local café she met and secretly dated for a while. (Y/n) knew je was someone who liked women, a lot, but she held out hope that he might change for her. Well, she came to realize that the hope was foolish.
(Y/n) bit back her tears as she put the chocolate into the fridge, her heart pounding in fear.
'Please, please be different.' She thought, praying that the 5th time will do the trick.
Now, Sae wasn't a romantic person and never really saw the appeal in relationships or acting all lovesick for another person. In his mind football and practice were the only things that should occupy him... until he became one of those lovesick individuals. Although he tried to hide it, and failed according to Rin and Yoichi, Sae was completely in love with the older Isagi sibling. Always being more gentle and mindful of his words around (Y/n), and doing his best to show off his skills in front of her when she would watch a Re Al match. So, to nobody's surprise, Sae spent 2 weeks preparing a gift for Valentine's Day for (Y/n), something Rin wouldn't let him live down if he found out.
'Hope she likes this.' Sae thought as he finished wrapping up the plush toy he found. It was a limited edition item he saw (Y/n) eyeing for a while, so he had to be fast and get it before it was sold out.
The next day, the two met up in a nearby park to exchange the gifts and go for a stroll through Madrid later.
"Happy Valentine's Day!" The two said at the same time, presenting their gifts in front of each other.
"Huh? You got me a gift as well?" (Y/n) raised an eyebrow as her heartbeat quickened, earning a nod from Sae.
"Of course."
"But, White day is-"
"I don't care. I will get you a gift for Valentine's Day and White Day." Sae shrugged as (Y/n)'s face turned red.
"You... you shouldn't do that." She argued, but the redhead shook his head to her words.
"No. I want to."
"O-oh..." (Y/n) felt like her heart was about to explode as she handed Sae the chocolate. Neatly wrapped in a pink and white package with a few heart stickers here and there. Sae kept quiet as he inspected the box after handing (Y/n) the gift he got her. The girl felt her heart sink for a moment when he didn't say anything, already fearing the worst.
'The colors are probably wrong-' Her thoughts got interrupted as she saw Sae smile softly and unwrapped the gift.
'He... He doesn't mind the colors?!' She gulped, hugging the gift closer to her form, watching as he took a bite from the chocolate.
"It's not much and not a brand-named item, but I hope you like it." (Y/n) said timidly as Sae raised an eyebrow.
"I don't care. This chocolate is better than any store bought I ever had. Can you make more when you have time?" Sae wondered, eating more as (Y/n) eyes widened in surprise.
"Y-you like it?! You want me to make more?" She asked, face getting redder as her heart was close to burst out of her chest.
"Of course. You made it. Why wouldn't I like it? I love it, actually." Sae smiled at the girl. There was a silence for a moment and (Y/n) felt a few tears escape her eyes, which caused Sae to panic and move closer to see what the issue was.
"Are you alright? I am sorry. Did I say something wrong?-"
"I love you." (Y/n) sobbed out, hugging Sae tightly. The player was taken aback for a moment, but quickly recovered and hugged her back as a small smile was formed on his face.
"Love you, too."
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jnnephm · 2 months ago
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Okay hear me out cus I'm a sucker for papa!sylus.
I was texting with my friend and suddenly we came up with a headcanon/idea which is Kieran and Luke are our babies. Yes. You don't read it wrong. And I mean it.
Like the theory is a bit lame and there's no evidence to back it up, but we all think it's cute so it now becomes our inside joke. Basically, Kieran and Luke are MC and Sylus's children, but then something happened to all of them. So Luke and Kieran lost their family. They tried to go back in time to save their parents then got stuck in the current timeline.
And! They knew that if their parents weren't together, they would disappear. That's why they did their hardest to matchmake MC and Sylus.
We also discussed another idea: there're an universe in which sylus and Mc have their happy ending. However, because that universe is too perfect, it isn't allowed to exist. the only "trace" of that timeline ever took place is the presence of Luke and Kieran. The twins longed for their once happy family, and they came to Earth and tried helping Sylus and Mc got together.
Tell me that they aren't mischievous twins who caught their parents being flirty with each other and instead of how normal kids behave (saying eww to their parents), this duo straight up got ignored by us 🤭.
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I love these two babies.
Okay I admit that I only post this since I need someone to write about four of them being silly with papa sylus has to endure the battlefield (consist of toys and dirt) that MC and the twins (as kids) cause (on his expensive carpet, no less).
I'm in need of domestic fluff and I swear those breeding fics ya all have written recently don't help at all! I blame it on ya all lolol.
I can hear papa!Sy-sy call the twins 'kiddos' or 'brats' and say "you two make me age." He will send them Mephisto like a guard dog, "not to watch the twins, but watch over the poor soul who came in contact with them." He says, but we all know he worries sick for Luke and Kieran. Like in canon universe, dude barely gives them any task, that's why they have time to fool around like menaces of society while Sylus taking care of his business behind the scene. Imagine if he's actually the dad of the twins. Lmao.
And I just think that canon!Sylus would save them as Clown 1 and Clown 2 on his phone. He might be mean about it "well that's the only thing they are good at." Yet the truth is they are the bright light for his dull days before he met MC (again).
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epickiya722 · 2 months ago
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I thank Hori everyday for not giving Bakugo a canon female love interest. Cause he easily could have gone with the norm and given him a girl who matches his spitfire personality or a nice girl who "softens" him. Or even worse, fully leaned into the delinquent personality and made him a flirt (eww). But no, he made him single mindedly obsessed with his childhood friend and being No.1 😂
Plus, the dudebros would have been unbearable.
Horikoshi was like "we're not doing that" and I'm here for it.
Heck, thinking about it, even if the guys had shown interest in girls and had cute moments with some and vice versa, Horikoshi really didn't play on the romance like that for any of them.
Bakugou clearly shown no interest in girls so there was no way he would have had a love interest like that.
That's one thing I'll say that was amazing is that there was no female character that was like "I can change him, only I can understand him" and that would be her own purpose in the story.
And Bakugou being a flirt?? All I can think about that one Smash chapter I did read and all I can think was "never again". Just wasn't right, Anon! 😭
And about Midoriya, Horikoshi didn't even go with the usual trope of "rival character just wants to fight his rival all the time". No, Bakugou is competitive when it comes to Midoriya but he does even more when he comes to him.
Kept a card from their childhood, thinks about the river almost all the time, intense eye contests, saving each other without hesitation, "Don't tell me what to do" but still does it without really fighting, lets Midoriya call him a cutesy nickname and not once telling him not to even when they were going through a rough patch, and let's not forget the finale and the volume covers (you know the ones).
Come on now!
Dudebros would have been unbearable if Bakugou had a girl but they can't even deny the BkDk connection there.
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quitealotofsodapop · 1 month ago
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Do you know if there's any initiation process for people to become sworn siblings?
Or do they just say, "You're my sworn sibling now." to each other?
I think it is comparable to the historical practice of "blood brothers" in which close companions would symbolically "mix blood" by pressing opened wounds against one another or drinking one another's blood. In some cultures with a more "eww. blood" attitude, a sacrifice was made in each other's honour to seal the deal instead.
In folklore; the only reason the gods in the Norse pantheon don't get rid of Loki despite their mischief, is because Loki and Odin are blood brothers.
Noted examples in East Asia mainly come from Mongolian and tribal Chinese accounts - in which it was common practice amongst dear friends and their children. One famous example is Temüjin aka Genghis Khan and his childhood friend Jamukha - the latter's betrayal and attempted usurping considered one of the Khan's greatest emotional losses.
For particularly Chinese sources I found this article about traditional Chinese Kinship, though most of the sources come from Taiwan.
The standard ritual was for each sworn sibling to add their names and dates to a contract and ritualistically burn it - as to add it to the infernal and celestial archives. "Can't return me without the receipt" - at it's finest.
Another familiar practice was for each sibling in the pact to add their blood to wine, and pass it around to drink.
It's a bit flexible depending on the individuals. Whether for personal or political reasons. But the "ideal" scenario is people who are so close, that they feel that they might as well by legally recognised as siblings. Sworn brethren could, for example, contribute to the dowry of a sworn sibling's daughter, preform mourning rituals for the others bio family, or becoming legal guardians of your sworn-sibling's kid in case of their death.
Or in the case of Confucian-era China outlawing homosexuality, it was a clever way to facilitate a same-sex marriage. Can't fault two guys for living together and raising their kids when it's a legally recognised practice! A bunch of friends could come together and make a brotherhood pact as a way to cheekily help others in the group be married in spirit when the state wouldn't recognise it.
Some folks even did it so that members in their bio family who were interested in eachother could have "a reason" to be interacting. Imperial gender norms be wildin' so hard that you can't talk to your crush without your dads being legally best bros.
This is why in chinese slang; "sworn brothers" is used as slang for "gay relationship". Aka "oh my god, they were roommates."-vine.
In JTTW: Sun Wukong and the Brotherhood/Seven Sages declare themselves sworn kin at the same time Wukong elects his Marshals and Generals. In this case, they are all close friends who officiate their sworn kinship through partying hard, and making sacrifices to both Heaven and Hell. They even have separate days out together.
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(Source: Anthony C Yu translation)
Who knows, maybe a wedding was thrown in the mix? With all the drinking I wouldn't be shocked if there was some confusion with the ritual contract! XD
Wukong, re-reading the contract years later: "HA! Flood Dragon and Tamarin put themselves down as the other kind of sworn brother! Wonder if they even noticed that?" Bull King, there to check: "I doubt it. I'm just glad I'm not legally married to anyone. Don't want any loose ends before me and Iron Fan get hitched."
Erlang and the Six Lads of Plum Hill/Meishan Brothers are all sworn brothers too - in a more frat-boy/brothers-in-arms sense. They've all likely know each other for decades, and legit see each other equal to siblings. Notably, Erlang shares the bounty he received from capturing Sun Wukong fairly across his brothers (and presumably the remaining odd bit for the dog). Four of the brothers are Marshals while Two are Generals, giving more credence to the headcanon of Wukong's Stalwarts being his sworn family as well. In an odd bit of hilarity amongst the tense fight of Flower Fruit Mountain, the bros even rib Erlang for thinking too hard about Wukong.
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Erlang, trying to be cool and edgy: "What a foul being to dare call himself equal to heaven. I ought to-" Plum Hill Lad: "Aww! Elder Bro has a crush!" Erlang, flustered: "I DO NOT!!" Plum Hill Lads, all cracking up and making kissy faces: "Then why are you thinking about him so much?" "Major sus bro!" "If you wanna fight him so much why don't you just marry him?" (*Invasion is paused as all six Plum Hill lads start rough-housing with their elder bro. Many head-noogies are inflicted.*) Wukong, on the ground: "You know what those guys are talking about Macaque?" Macaque, teasing: "Why, are you interested in him or something?" Wukong, blushing like a schoolgirl: "Oh my gawds! Stahp!"
Curiously, Wukong describes himself and Erlang as "sworn brothers" later in the book; suggesting that they had a close relationship at some point. One of my fave pieces of art (can't find it rn) is Erlang asking Wukong to be his "sworn brother", and Wukong assumes he means "spouse" and gets confused when Erlang mentions having six more. XD
A "lesser" case would be; The Tang Emperor declaring Xuanzang/Tripitaka his oath/sworn brother because the monk is doing him a solid. The Emperor shows his immense gratitude, and Tripitaka gains some political clout that he can throw around if he needs to (the Empress of the Kingdom of Women even sees this as a marriage bonus). Tripitaka def doesn't do the "blood" or sacrificial part of what these rituals imply, as per his Buddhist upbringing, but it's still seen as a binding oath. Rather, they bow to one another and declare their status are sworn bros before an image of the Buddha in the monastery.
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In Tripitaka's case, it's more of Emperor Taizong being like; "Look, this pilgrimage is so important to me that I'm gonna legally and spirtually count you as my little brother so that you understand how much I trust you." Meanwhile the monk is like; "What?Thats a bit much don't you think?"
Later on, the promise of becoming one's sworn brother is passed between characters akin to "If you pull this off for me, I would straight up be your best bro."
And ofc the Pilgrims consider eachother sworn kin/brothers at the end of the story, even if they didn't do a ritual to seal it.
So yeah in summary:
Rituals can be performed but are not 100% required. Even a mutual declaration before an idol/holy image is enough. Whilst the Brotherhood of Sages celebrate their new pact through booze and partying and blood sacrifices - Tripitaka and the Tang Emperor just declared it while in a monastery.
People did it for money and political reasons too.
They also did it cus "It ain't gay if it's brotherhood."
Sworn kinship can be forged overtime.
The celestial and infernal archives have the reciepts.
Btw you can do a "sworn divorce" if you and your bro have a falling out.
Whilst the practice isn't really a thing in modern China, I imagine it's still common amongst yaoguai and/or celestials.
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Text
Uncle Mickey's Hair Braiding Adventure
“Franny!” Debbie called, pouring some coffee in a thermos. “Come here so I can do your hair!” Turning back to the pitcher, she said to Mickey, who was seated at the table, “You want some more?” 
“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “Already had two. Ian’ll have my balls if he sees me have another.” 
“Thought he already had them?” She said idly, a small smirk peeking out. 
Mickey rolled his eyes. “Fuck you and fuck your brother for being in this health kick. If he tries to take me some fucking yoga class, I’ll knock his teeth out and shove them up his ass.” 
“After he shoves his dick into yours?” She said innocently. 
Mickey held up a clear middle finger. 
“Whatever,” she said, unfazed. Taking another mouthful of coffee, she quickly swallowed. “Franny, let’s go!” 
“I’m coming, Mama!” Franny skipped into the kitchen, her hair loose and flying every which way. 
“Sweetie....” Debbie sighed. “Now I have to comb your hair again.” 
“Oops,” Franny said with a giggle. Mickey couldn't help but grin at his adorable niece. 
Debbie didn't think it was so adorable. “Take a seat and I'll be right back, okay?” 
“Okay, Mommy,” Franny watched her go upstairs, immediately barreling into Mickey with a beam. “Hi, Uncle Mickey!” 
“Hi, Franny,” he scooped her up, letting her sit on his knee, one arm around her so she didn't fall off. 
“Mommy says I have to go to school today but I wanna stay with you and Uncle Ian!” She said enthusiastically. “Can I?” 
“You don’t wanna do that, kid,” he had to chuckle at the face she made. “Your Uncle Ian’s real boring. He'll probably make you read or some shit,” he paused. “Or eat broccoli.” 
“Eww!” Franny said loudly. 
“Ay, not so loud,” Mickey tickled her stomach. She squealed, squirming in his lap. “Your boring uncle’s trying to sleep. Don't wanna wake him, okay?” 
Her laughter tapered off, and she leaned back against his chest. “Okay!” 
This was still kind of surreal for him, not just being married to Ian but to have a family that was actually there for each other. Franny meant a lot to him, and it kind of freaked Mickey out at first when she started coming to him for hugs and shit. Wasn’t like he was used to little kids. There’d been Liam when he was much younger but Mickey didn’t interact with him a ton. Back than, his focus was on Ian and ensuring he was cared for. 
Debbie came back down, her footsteps not so light. “Okay, time to do your hair! Do you want one braid or two?” 
Mickey set Franny back onto the floor. But she was frowning, looking back at him. 
“Can Uncle Mickey braid my hair?” She said to her mother instead. She looked between the two of them with big, hopeful eyes. 
“Huh?” Mickey was caught off guard by the request. 
Franny placed her hands on his knee, smiling wide. “Can you braid my hair, Uncle Mickey? Please?” 
“Oh. I don't know how to braid, Franny,” he said apologetically.
“But it's easy,” Franny insisted. “Mommy can show you!” 
“Maybe some other time,” Debbie said gently. “We have to get you ready for school.” 
Franny complied, though noticeably disappointed. 
Wasn't like he ever needed to know how to braid hair. Mandy never did any of that shit. If he did know, Terry would've sooner called him a faggot and shot him in between the eyes than let him do it again. 
It shouldn't have bothered him. But Mickey kept picturing the smile falling off Franny’s face. 
“Got you a burger,” Ian said when he came back to the ambulance, handing the bag off to him. 
Mickey was watching his phone screen intently, trying his hardest to follow along. He didn't see his husband staring at him with raised eyebrows. 
“What are you watching?” Ian said curiously. 
Mickey was too engrossed to answer. 
“Are you watching porn?” There was no answer. “Because if you are, it better not be those guys that kind of look like us. I’m telling you, Mick, it’s weird-” 
“Would you shut the fuck up?” Mickey said, exasperated. Ian stopped, glancing over at him. 
“Sorry...” Ian muttered. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Silence fell over the vehicle. Mickey’s eyes never wavered from his screen, while his husband chewed on his burger and fries. 
Then, suddenly, Mickey slammed his phone on the dashboard in frustration. 
Ian jumped. “The fuck is wrong with you?” 
“Nothing!” Mickey snapped, snatching the bag with his burger, angrily eating it. 
“Right...” Ian said in disbelief. “Okay...” 
Mickey tapped his foot on the floor, impatiently waiting for his brother to pick up. 
Finally, finally Iggy answered groggily. “What the fuck do you want?” 
“Bout time you answered my calls, fuckwad,” Mickey kept his voice down so no one would hear him. It was early in the morning before either of them had to go on rounds for their deliveries. The kitchen was quiet, dim with only the light over the sink on. 
“It’s early, man,” Iggy whined on the other line. “Couldn’t you have called at noon?” 
“No, I couldn’t call at noon,” Mickey sneered. “Need you to do me a favor, Ig.” 
“What kinda favor?” 
“Don’t start askin’ question. Just do what I tell you,” Mickey said through grit teeth. “I need you to get a few things for me.” 
He heard Iggy taking a drink, probably a beer. “Ay, I’ll do what I can but it’ll cost you.” 
“Let’s not forget you still owe me for those joints-” Iggy protested by exclaiming they were a birthday gift, but Mickey cut in. “Consider us even.” 
Mickey refused to blush when Iggy brought the supplies, his face contorted into a bewildered expression. 
“You know I don’t care if you’re gay,” his brother started, “but this going full fag, Mick.” 
He grabbed the bag away from Iggy. “Fuck off.” 
As per usual, his brother didn’t get the hint, always sure to interject his stupidity. “M’serious. Ian know about this? This what you two are plannin’ on doing before you take his dick?” 
Mickey rolled his eyes, looking through the bag to make sure everything was in there. “Get out,” he motioned towards the door. “I don’t want anyone seeing you.” 
But Iggy, as per usual, is hellbent on ignoring his orders. “Where’s my brother-in-law at, anyway? Haven’t seen him for a while.” 
“None of your rucking business, that’s where he’s at,” Mickey shot him a warning look. “Out, Ig.” 
“Ay, I brought you these-” 
Mickey shoved him out before he could finish that sentence. 
It wasn’t like he intended to get caught. But being in the Gallagher household, secrets weren’t always easy to keep. Mickey could only keep his activity up for so long, approximately two hours, because Ian came home from meeting with Larry and caught him in the act. 
The door to their room opened, which Mickey realized he should have locked, and in came Ian, stopping dead in his tracks upon seeing the mannequin heads Mickey was using so he could follow along while watching the videos. 
Neither one of them broke the dead silence at first. They stared at each other, and this was where, in any other circumstances, Mickey would have killed Ian and hid his body where no one would ever find it. 
But he loved the fucker, unfortunately. 
“What is happening?” Ian said slowly. 
“What’s it look like?” Mickey tried to sound indifferent. “I’m learning how to do hair.” 
“...Why?” Ian said, then joked, “planning on growing your hair out?” 
“No, asshole,” Mickey scoffed, dropping his gaze and coughing. “Franny wanted me to braid her hair the other day.” 
“Oh, yeah. Debs mentioned that,” Ian recalled with a smile. Mickey moved one of the mannequin heads so his husband could sit down on the bed. “She said Franny’s been asking her to teach you.” 
“Yeah, well,” Mickey muttered. “Now she don’t have to.” 
Ian smiled as widely as Franny had, leaning in to kiss him. “You’re so damn hot when you’re in uncle mode,” he whispered. 
Mickey was still not used to being complimented like this. He squirmed. “Just don’t wanna disappoint the kid, is all.” 
Ian stared at him for far too long, his expression was tender and it made him even more uneasy. 
“What?” 
“I told you that you weren’t your dad,” Ian kissed his forehead this time. “You’re so much better than him, Mickey, and you don’t even realize it.” 
“It’s just hair, Ian.” 
“It’s not just hair,” Ian shook his head. “You do a lot for Franny. Freddie too. And Liam-” 
“You gonna get to the point anytime soon, Gallagher?” 
Ian continued as if he hadn’t said anything, “I don't think sixteen year old Mickey would have learned how to braid hair to make his niece happy. He wouldn’t drop everything to help his brother-in-law on a project. And he definitely wouldn’t be excited about showing his baby nephew his favorite action movie.” 
“You weren’t supposed to see that,” Mickey muttered, remembering how he’d talked to Freddie the whole time, pointing out all the best parts of the movie. 
“Couldn’t sleep,” Ian shrugged, then smiled again. “Mickey, I don’t care if we never have kids. Watching you with them is enough for me.” 
Ian scooted himself beside Mickey, his back against the wall, one arm over his husband to pull him close. 
“Yeah, well the rugrats ain’t so bad,” Mickey leaned in, feeling Ian kiss the top of his head. “Better than your annoying ass was back than.” 
“Don’t forget you wanted my annoying ass.” 
“Pretty sure it was the other way around,” Mickey quipped. 
They sat there, quiet, just basking in the moment. 
“So, you getting any good?” Ian asked conversationally. 
Mickey blew out a breath. “Nah. It’s harder than I thought. Tried following along to this chick’s video and she goes too fucking fast.” 
“Why don’t I watch it with you?” Ian offered. “We’ll follow along together.” 
“Figured you already knew how to do this shit,” Mickey remarked. 
“Nah. Fiona usually did it. Or Lip.” 
“Course Phllip knows how.” 
“He did it whenever Fi was too busy,” Ian said. “Didn’t you or your brothers ever do Mandy’s hair?” 
Mickey gave him a look like he was crazy. 
“Never mind.” 
Ian did as he suggested; with Mickey’s phone they watched endless tutorials together so he’d have a better grasp at it. Both of them worked on the mannequin heads, going for simple hairstyles that they could get the hang of quickly. It was frustrating at first, whenever Mickey would knot the hair up while trying to get it to twist but eventually, he was able to do it flawlessly. 
That night, while laying in bed side-by-side, Ian said, “Franny’s gonna be really happy tomorrow.” 
“Yeah,” Mickey murmured. 
“Hey, Mick?” 
“What?” 
“Where’d you get the heads anyway?” Ian said, curiously. 
When Mickey said nothing, Ian pressed. “Mickey...” 
“I might’ve had Iggy steal them from Tami’s hair salon....” 
Ian just sighed in exasperation. 
“Franny, come down here,” Debbie called up the stairs the next morning. There was no sound, no movement coming up from there at all. “Uncle Mickey’s going to do your hair if you get down here in the next five minutes.” 
Franny came barreling down the stairs. Debbie was muttering Jesus under her breath, rolling her eyes at the whirlwind her daughter created. 
“Morning, Little Red,” Mickey greeted. “You ready?” 
“Yeah!” Franny exclaimed. 
She jumped into the chair, squealing excitedly. Mickey chuckled, and told her she’d have to sit still so he could work. 
Debbie watched them with faint amusement. “If I knew Uncle Mickey was the answer to keeping you still, I would’ve had him doing it a while ago.” 
Mickey flipped her off above her daughter's head. 
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spacebaby1 · 3 months ago
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Thank you @that-student-that-has-homework for this request! 😌🤭
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Sabo was reading a book when Luffy came running to him with it showing him a cake he thought looked delicious on the cookbook he found.
"Look, Sabo! I wish we had cakes like these in the inn. It looks delicious, doesn't it?"
Sabo gasped, getting the idea to bake the cake since the ingredients seemed easy to find. "I think we can bake this! Get Ace, we are doing some shopping." Luffy smiled wide, "WE GONNA BAKE? YAY!" Luffy cheered before running out of the room yelling for Ace.
"How about we get ingredients for each one of us, and let's see who can bake the best cake?" Ace challenged as they entered the small store, Sabo snorted a mocking laughing, "Please, we all know I'll bake the best cake, have fun falling asleep mid baking. Hahh!"
"Is this eatable?" Luffy asked from distance holding up decorations chocolate bar. "NO!" Both Sabo and Ace yelled, rushing to stop him before he shoved it in his mouth. After a long hour of bickering, they finally each one got the ingredients and went home to start baking.
"Put the book on the counter!" Sabo tried to snatch the book from Ace as he held it up reading the instructions. "Let me see!" Luffy jumped to get the book to no avail.
"Stop! Let me read it first." Ace pushed them away, but they won't stop, "Okay, okay! Let's just put it here so we all can see it." Ace placed the book open on the counter, balancing it with a bowl behind it.
He clapped his hands, "Okay! Everyone chose a side of the kitchen and start baking! Pick your position. And let's go!" They all rushed towards their picked sides.
While Sabo kept walking from his place to where the book to read, Luffy added ingredients randomly before snapping the bag of flour on his face, causing Ace to burst out laughing. Ace looked ahead, "Hello everyone to the Ace the beat Baker show. Today, we are going to make the yummiest cake you'll ever taste."
Both Sabo and Luffy narrowed their eyes at him, and he looked at them with a smile, "What? Gotta earn them audience." He smirked, flicking his hair, earning an eye roll from Sabo, "yack!"
For a few seconds, the kitchen was silent before Luffy dropped his flour on all of the floor, "Luffy! Don't mess the kitchen up!" Sabo warned him. Ace joined as he moxed the batter. "Let the kid live."
"I won't if you two destroy the kitchen! We said bake, not trash."
Ace laughed, fully focused on Sabo not noticing Luffy's finger in his batter, and when he saw Luffy licking his finger standing next to Ace, Ace let out a loud screaming staring Luffy "STOP PUTTING YOUR DIRTY HANDS IN MY CAKE! EWW!"
Luffy pouted, licking the rest of the batter, "Don't yell at me!" They both heart Sabo giggle and show them his heart oven bowl full of the batter, "I'm going to finish before the two of you."
Noth Luffy and Ace eyed the bowl, Ace snorted, "Okay, lover boy."
"SHUT UP! IT'S A CUTE BOWL."
"Can I taste the batter?" Luffy reached his finger before Sabo raised the bowl up, "hands OFF!" He immediately rushed to put the bowl in oven only to be followed by Ace placing his next to his. "Luffy, hurry, get yours!" Ace told his brother.
"Okay! Wait!" Both sabo and Ace didn't notice Luffy placing his bowl in only turned when he finally shut the oven. "Okay, I'm done. Sabo put the timer on!" Luffy jumped up and down as Sabo fixed the temperature and time. "Now we are supposed to wait, 30 minutes, then we can check on it." Sabo said happily.
"Let's go out in the garden!" Ace said, and Luffy cheered, "Yay!" The two brothers rushed outside.
"Who's gonna clean your trash!" Sabo ran after them.
They weren't even ten minutes out of the house when Sabo sniffed and looked around, "Hey, do you two smell that?"
Ace sniffed, tilting his, "smells like fire."
"Look, barbecue!" Luffy pointed behind Ace and Sabo. Turning their heads, both of them screamed, making Luffy jump.
"THAT'S NOT BARBECUE! THAT'S OUR KITCHEN ON FIRE!" Sabo yelled, running towards the house.
"HELP!' Ace yelled.
"Nooo! Sabo's cake is on fire!" Was all Luffy yelled.
"Ahhhhh!" Sabo entered the house to find the kitchen on fire, "GET THE WATER!" Ace yelled, dumping water, making the fire rise. The three of them yelled. Sabo kicked Ace on the back of the head, "STOP THAT YOU GONNA BURN THE WHOLE HOUSE."
Luffy threw a pillow into the fire, "LUFFY! STOP IT!" Both Ace and Sabo yelled, seeing the fire increase.
"EAT THE FIRE ACE!"
"LUFFY THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!"
"WE GONNA DIE!' Sabo cried.
"LUFFY'S SHIRT IS ON FIRE -" Ace yelled only for the three of them and the kitchen to be covered in cold powder.
When they opened their eyes, they saw you standing there holding a fire extinguisher. with a confused look on your face. "I left for an hour, and you almost burnt the house down?" You asked and dropped the fire extinguisher when Luffy rushed in your arms, "I almost got burned." You hugged him, "Oh you poor baby." You patted his head before glaring at Sabo and Ace. They both backed away, hugging each other before you spoke again, "Clean the mess now." They nodded rapidly.
Ace groaned, "That mouse, why gets to live this down, and we have to clean -"
"Ace? Did you see which bowl Luffy used?" Sabo asked, his eyes flicking as he held something in his hand, Ace tilted to side, and Sabo turned around, holding a burnt plastic bowl from inside the oven. Yes, when they weren't looking, Luffy placed the bowl he picked. It was a plastic bowl that caused the fire.
Luffy was eating the cupcakes that you had bought from the shop happily sitting on the porch. Both Ace and Sabo approached him with an evil smile. They grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around, "You little mouse, who puts plastic in oven?" Sabo asked his fake smile, threatening him, and he gulped with a small shrug. Ace spoke, ready to throw a fist at Luffy, "You are going to meet your creator -"
You kicked both Sabo and Ace in the head with a shoe, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LEAVE LUFFY ALONE!" they both fell on their face off the porch. Luffy rushed behind you, giggling at his brothers on the ground. "Hurry and clean so you two can eat the sandwiches I got for you. Idiots." Both Sabo and Ace sighed, knowing they can't win against Luffy since you're right there.
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