#everytime I think I'm out

[govtshutdown]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/02/28/government-shutdown-deadline-affect-explained/

Yet another version of this epistle. Nice to see them put out a new one each time. Keeps the lights on.

[sainz100]

2024 Brazilian GP | x

[tagarilaghost]

I SWEAR CELEBI'S THINGY IS COMING SOON BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST THIS ALRIGHT

yeaah... future trio got me too...

and Darkrai is there too, because of course he is.

hey look i drew a cute Drifloon :D

...ignore the rest

whatever started at Darkrai doodles ended in brainrot of future trio + darkrai and I'm blaming @scribz-ag24 for this

[buttercupshands]

I've been thinking a lot lately

ref to the quote under the cut

under the cut for maybe some people that would like to try and guess *shruggs*

[hai7ani]

every day i get closer and closer to leaving this blog for good :( i know i say this a lot, but i haven't felt the passion to write in a very long while. i have tried visiting my old works to rewrite them and also get my groove back, but lately it feels more forced than me wanting to do it because i want to write. i've been treating writing like a chore, always looking at it from a professional perspective rather than it being a hobby and what i've always wanted to do and frankly it's not fun anymore. maintaining this blog feels very stressful and i constantly feel the need to update every once in a while to keep interactions going, and oftentimes i get so fomo when i hop on here as hai7ani. writing doesn't feel the same and maintaining this blog just seems like a routine rather than a hobby that i used to enjoy. to be frank i also feel very lost on the direction that i want to proceed with this blog, but i guess that's mainly because i haven't been writing/posting so all i can update on here are reblogs and sometimes selfship things, so i don't know what to do on here as hai7ani. i do feel like maybe it is time that this chapter has come to an end, as i also have big things coming up and i don't want to drag this complication with me to that new chapter in my life, even more so that i view writing as a burden now. but at the same time, i don't want to leave this blog that i have worked so hard on for the past 2/3 years. i have been in the fandom since the anime blew up in 2021 and have been writing for rindou since 2023. this blog is very special to me and so is writing, and rindou as a character in general is a huge part of my life because i do selfship so i treat this blog as a part of me and him. but it hasn't been fun recently (it's been months) which has really fucked me up for quite some time, including some other personal matters that i have been losing sleep and stressing out over offline. i care a lot about what other people think of me/perceive me as and i like to think that i'm genuine with everyone i become friends with, but that would often spiral into me getting anxious over my relationships and caring too much about what other people view of me to truly be who i am, as i have always been one to struggle with keeping people close. it really messed with me for a while. so with all of this going on, i'm just so lost. i think it'd be fair to my followers (rindou nation 😭), even though i know i don't owe anyone any explanations, to say that i won't be writing anymore for the time being. i'll post stuff if i want to, but i won't be promising fics or anything like that so i don't get anyone's hopes up. i'll be on here sometimes, but obviously not posting fics and i'm not leaving tumblr of course as i still have my main blog and my own interests that i enjoy seeing on my dash. i'll think about the next step more maybe. whatever happens next, happens. and i will keep reminding myself that i'm not on tumblr just as a writer/creator, but as an ordinary person who just enjoys something.

thank you for all your love and time 🩷

- yves :>

[naetles]

you guys don't understand how badly i need this illustration in the highest quality possible i feel like a feral animal rattling the bars of my enclosure

[mitskiluvr]

watched the persona 5 proof of justice ova from years ago and was getting acid reflux with how queer everything was... what do you mean its just 20 minutes of joker mourning his boyfriend. that's the entire ova.

[can-of-slorgs]

Completed the Shenkuu Stamp collection some time ago, so it was only fair to draw my girl Mirsha

[loafmom]

what tf is crk

Ok I know what cookie run kingdom is don't get me wrong. I have that shit download. I started playing it during the BTS shit, I loved that mini game. Bring me my mini game back, not the point of this post. I'm scrolling through Pinterest, you know as one does, and I'm minding my business. I come around cookie run kingdom I'm like OK I'll consume it, for the lols. Whatever that shadow milk and vanilla bitch shit has going on I have read my fair share of fanfiction of them don't get me wrong. It was kind of fire. what is the lore? Are you guys OK? I'm a casual enjoyer I don't have voice acting on. I skip through all of the cutscenes. I'm just gaming to game but like bro are you guys OK? What the fuck is going on? I watched a video and it's like portraying all of this shit which I assume is cut scene from the actual game I'm not there yet but it's to the Heaven says audio it's very good it's very nice but. Huh? I don't know what's going on you got the gay Whore is over here. you got the lesbians over here they're all fighting, they're all fighting. There's witches and humans are cannon I mean I know that they're cannon but they cannon cannon? And hot? Naw. Anyways any autistic baddies or just anyone in general who are like die hands for this game can you please explain the lore to me? Please? Images encouraged. If I can consume and memorize fnaf lore I can handle reading text walls of crk hyperfixation dump. Pls I beg 🙏

[auguryofjellyfish]

OMG YOU SAW IT YAY!!

The whole time I was putting together that animatic I was like “oh that one Wada fan will hate or love this”- so glad you liked it

-@arithekitsune

'that one wada fan'…omg... bwahah! oh my gosh, thank you so much. i'm extremely flattered you were thinking of me. but, trust me, there are very few things that could make me dislike an artwork with wada in it, let alone hate. 95% of the time, it's much more likely for me to love wada art so much that I offer up my soul for it (which, I can't really do anymore, I already gave it up like 2 months ago..)

i really liked your animatic! it was so sweet and sad. you managed to convey just how alone wada's been throughout his life until he met tsuno. the love he felt towards isono was real, but what he had with tsuno was special because it was mutual- it was probably the most loving and caring, real relationship he's had in his life. the juxtaposition of him sitting in the closet, and him sitting next to tsuno's cold locker at the end… oww…both times, he was trapped... in a small space, and in a world without her.

and the way you drew that sweet newborn baby wada… 🥺🥺🥺 gently holds.. that little lock of hair peeking through... so adorable. what i've always been curious of are the earlier years of wada's life, starting with his birth onwards. there's this sketch von drew of wada as a child, he's wearing overalls with a duck on them and looks to be about 5. this got me thinking… because he seems fine in that drawing. his hair is cut, his clothes are neat. but that doesn't really mean much, not when we know his mom cared about appearances.

i just.. i wonder when it started. if he's been abused since the beginning, or if it's only gotten worse later on. it's hard to say because we don't know a lot about his parents, and why they treated wada so viciously in the first place. maybe it was due to the circumstances of his birth, they might not have wanted a child at all. maybe another factor was that they were prejudiced against him because of his albinism. or… what i've always theorized, maybe he's always been (at least emotionally) neglected, and they only started actively resenting and abusing him when he stopped being a cute baby doll, and started growing into an individual with his own personality, one which they didn't like at all. either way, it's not really possible to work out a definite answer right now, though i'd love to get it someday. still, fuck wadamama and wadadada.

as the last thing, i just wanted to mention that your kamiwadagawa art opened my 3rd eye RAHH!!!! for real, it's so good...i love the thought of the two guys who were dogging on him the most suddenly deciding that actually, he's their little guy now. i imagine kamimura one day being like, 'hey ken, i know we've been taking the piss out of wada since like, forever, but i was thinking and i uhh kinda wanna keep him', and ken responding with 'oh umm alright!', and here we are....ken and wada both being kamimura's little meow meows LMAO... anyway...kamiwadagawa is peak...

[arl3kinka]

average arizonan man doodles I made during class

[necrotic-nephilim]

If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???

i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3

Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.

Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.

And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.

[disposal-blueeee]

from this thing lolz

ty to @cherry-207 for the idea !! XPP

vargas by zarla-s

[terresdebrume]

I keep going back and forth on the topic of where I fall on the allo/aro spectrum, partially because I kind of like. Don't wanna be aro (I'm already trans, queer and autistic with depressive tendencies, I don't need to add another thing to the list)

But another part of it is that even if I am capable of romantic love I probably just wouldn't know, because I already don't really know what platonic love feels like? And I'm not saying I can't love anything or anything like that it's just. Like many other emotions, I kind of have to retroingeneer it, sort of

I know I love my cats, not because I feel a surge of Something when I look at them, but because it makes me smile when they do something cute—my face knows what I'm feeling in those moments, I'm not sure I do. I know I love them because when Pouet died I cried every day for a month and I still cry sometimes, when I think about her. I know I love my cats because my brain keeps lighting up with fear signals when they're sleeping and I don't immediately see their chest move as they breathe.

I know what anxiety feels like, I know what anger feels like (when it explodes), I know what depression feels like because I dealt with them for so long I learned to recognize their physical symptoms! If these emotions didn't leave specific signals in my body then I'm not sure I'd know what they are.

And the thing is... I don't really like. Know what love or affection feels like, I think. Yes I can feel myself smile when I speak to certain people, but I also habitually smile at everybody because it makes things easier socially. I know I like people because if they ask me if I want to do an activity I either say yes or I have regrets about saying no.

My point is: I feel like I don't know my emotions so much as I know the buttons they push in my body, so to speak, but the problem about platonic/romantic love is that I can't imagine they make that different a shame, so who's to say which one it is?

It's funny, in a way, that I don't know something like that at my age. It's also really inconvenient, tbh. There's not really a reason for me to think about this rn except sometimes if I meet a cool dude whom I know is gay I wonder for a minute or two what a relationship with him would be like (which I'm going to assume is not that weird a thing to do) and the last time that happened led to, well. Ponderings about romance I guess

Anyway, the tl;Dr is that it took me decades to figure out the emotions I can recognize now, and I've largely approached social interactions with the inner spirit of a wet Chihuahua for most of that time, so how the fuck do I know if I can't identify those because I'm shit at self understanding or because I don't feel them???

Idk, it's complicated

(Tho honestly it would also be a little bit hilarious if after all this shit I landed on nah just aro. Not my preferred option right now but eh xD)

[rainbowlilymemes237]

I feel like I will meet the voice actor one day.

[if-we-are-free-tell-me-why]

every time I hear someone say "oh you have to listen to Dear Evan Hansen it has such good mental health representation" I cry in Next to Normal