#everything is normal and lowkey
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Hi, Howdy! Hey! I really love your novel!! I got a little confused by the 4 day, may maybe you help me please? who is it? why we got the bad end staying the night in Renās apartment and he disappear of the home screen? I canāt understand āunset memoryā game, sorry if I wrote smth wrong or smth sounds rude, I swear that I didnāt mean it if happened, Iām really a fan of the novel, Iāve been playing the game since day 1 or 2 I guess, probably day 1, english isnāt my first language, but I tried lol
āā„ā I hope you don't mind me answering these as bullet points!! ^^
"It" will be revealed later in the game! So I won't reveal too much right now.
You can only get the Dead End in Day 4 by staying at Ren's apartment ā the rest of your choices before that don't matter. I'd also pay closer attention to the black smoke and Ren's reaction towards it!
Ren disappears from the home screen because he promised to help the player out (and stop them from getting the Dead End again). Try replaying the game again from the beginning for a surprise!
"Unsent Memories" was another visual novel (initially being written by @10chimes / @unsentmemory, though the project has since been dropped and handed back to me /pos) and is set in the same universe as 14 Days With You. Its storyline and characters are completely separate from 14DWY, so you don't have to worry about them while playing 14DWY.
#I don't think a lot of people know this but River was originally my OC lmao#Obviously BEFORE Jesse picked him up and turned him into an entirely different character /pos#We originally planned for Riv and Ren to have a Billy and Stu dynamic; except River would pretend to be a himboā#ā The same way Ren would pretend to be some Normal Empathetic Guyā¢ļø kjgskg#River was also going to be a lovesick serial killer who incapacitated Bunny so that they'd stay with & depend on him forever#Also because Jesse and I wanted to have a ''same production factory; different yandere'' kind of vibe with Riv and Ren (and their dynamic)#Like... Ren puts Angel above himself and craves THEIR satisfaction whereas River cares about himself and prioritises HIS own satisfaction#Ren would hit his best friend (River) with a car if it meant keeping Angel happy & by his side forever#River would hit Bunny with a car if it meant keeping them by his side forever (thus making him happy)#But!! After everything that's happened in the yandere community; Jesse (understandably) wanted to get away from that kind of environment#So he's since dropped Unsent Memories and hasn't really got any plans to work on it again or return to da yan vn circle#I'm also continuing to write 14DWY the way it was originally planned (with 2017!River only getting a brief cameo to serve up some lore </3)#āBut I'm lowkey holding out just in case Jesse ever considers returning hehe :3 I like their version of River and I wanna do him justice#Until then though?? I'll yearnfully clutch my locket and wait for my lover to return from war.... (she has a literal 9-5 job now) /hj /p#GKJSDG I scrolled up and??? NOT ME RANTING IN THE TAGS AGAIN?????????? WHY DO I UNINTENTIONALLY YAP SO MUCH#I will š¤«š¤ now#š ā answered.#š ā 14 days with queue.#š¤ ā shut up sai.#to be tagged later#weird0nerd
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Every year is a new competition for worst year of my life. And 21 is WINNINGGGGGG š¤©
#gets random chronic illness 1 day after my birthday. loses 15 pounds in 3 weeks. takes weeks off school to go to the hospital.#everything comes back normal. i get the worst period and worst migraine of my life. <- almost called ambulance on myself.#lowkey failing all my classes. cant go outside. cant eat anything i enjoy. brain functioning poorly. grandma in the ICU. tried to go outsid#today and almost threw up in a store. and i think my new meds are making me SUICIDAL. šāāļø#AND THEY ARENT EVEN WORKING. and no doctors can see me again for MONTHS.#which means i cant work. so i dont have money to pay my rent. and also in general i just feel like a failure snd like my parents are mad at#meeeeee#ok thats all bye
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This part ripped my heart out and stomped on it violently. Because Jean, who everyone has indeed heard of him. Everyone has made their mind on who they think he is - a violent ex-raven, who was kicked out/abandoned his team. (unless they get to know him, like the trojans, but they still had their own ideas about him at first). The raven slandered him, and Jean accepted it because he thinks all the bad names they call him do define him. And he says it all the time - he doesn't care what people think. But this moment here, during his breakdown, when he realizes that he does care? Idk, this breakdown was long overdue, and helped him grow a lot (with Rhemman's helpā”), but I wasn't ready for it to hit me like a truck.
#Jean Moreau you are everything to me#and yeah the entire part with Rhemman has me lowkey cackling because he could finally show to Adi how Jean acts (not normally*)#anyway me reading tgr : wow i barely cried so far compared to tsc#this part : hold my beer#tgr spoilers#the golden raven spoilers#tgr#the golden raven#jean moreau#mien
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every time a ls!kaboodle hater posts in the "justkaboodle" tag an angel looses its wings
#stop hating in main tags or ill actually make you explode#half of ts is fueled by mysogyny and i'm lowkey tired of pretending its not#like this one mf i went to their profile tell me why the only posts they have talking about any of the women lsers are hate posts#like not EVERY kab/ls!kab hater is like that or is just one of the weird haters i know some ppl who aren't fans of ls!kab who i'm chill w#its just JESUS CHRIST can you please just understand that ls!kab AND the person are real human beings with emotions for ONCE#not everyone does everything perfectly and ls!kab is a great example but nooo she's bad at pvp and she argued with zam shes EVIL!#also i once just saw straight up ableism. kab haters are weird and it's annoying af#because idc if you dislike her or the character but NONE of you are normal about her and it's pissing me tf off actually#justkaboodle#lifesteal#maintagging this idgaf#lssmp#lifesteal smp#lsblr#lifesteal season 6#kaboodle#ls!kaboodle#anyways any ls!kab defenders moot me up i need more of y'all on my feed istg...#extremely targetted btw it's really obvious who this is about sorry to vaguepost sweating emoji#vagueposting
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Steb Doodle Dump <3
+ Spotify playlists based off Steb & his parents!!1!2!!1!2!1!1!1!
(I hate the sketches but trust they WILLLLLL look awesome if I ever get round to finishing them)

Queenfish, the cutest, romanticist, most healthiest ship to exist <33333
But as a Shape of Water AU!!!!
Mel is still mute in the AU and Steb doesn't speak human languageāsilent fishy love <333
(their ship name is Goldfish which suits them more than Queenfish and I am literally the only one to call them Queenfish but idc RAA)
More under cut:

Mermaid Steb!!!!!!
ā^w^)ā
I really wanted to draw a mermaid but then I lost motivation cause I was supposed to be doing hw
(which I haven't done yet & my math midterm is THIS Saturday)


Steb as a model š„°š„°š¤
+ Human!Steb
(Guatemalan/Zaunite doctor mother x black American/Piltovian enforcer father, but their love story is real cute and NAWWWWTTT a simple oppressor x oppressed love story)
[Ignore how awful the sketches look btw I just wanted to sketch them out before I forgot what I wanted to draw]
[Which thank gawd cause I forgot I wanted to draw Human!Steb]
References ā¬ļøā¬ļøā¬ļø
(plus pics from his insta that I'm too lazy to look for again)
#lowkey failing my classes i think#havent checked#so tired but idc cause I got money and my heart is beating so everything's fine#plus steb content exists so thats good#i need sleep#i need water#steb x mel#steb my beloved#i love steb a normal amount#current obsession of the next month or so#steb arcane#arcane#arcane fandom#steb my love#the shape of water#is such a good movie but there shouldve been a freaky scene between Elisa and the asset NOT the guy and his wife#was scandalized but then i was even more scandalized seeing that they skipped over the other stuff#they really were such a cute couple tho and I think they're the first couple in fiction ive genuinely loved and have little to no issues wi#Spotify
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#consider this post a blog post that some obsessed teenager made on the biography of steven bell ajgdsjhgasd#friend is putting together an Invisible Sun oneshot.#i went insane and made this guy for it today. everyone say hi to my friend stevie#he was a wizard lawyer and very serious at some point.#then he went to the normal world. and forgot everything#he pursued art and became a children's entertainment host due to his subconscious desire for the magical#and the characters in his show are all based on people from the old world. they probably think he forgot about him#he never expressed affection before. but now hes deeply silly and has immortalized his old loved ones as puppets on his little show#anyway now hes being whisked back to wizardland. hence the disappearance.#very excited for him#my art#ocs#stevie bramble#ttrpg#i also think his show is lowkey cursed. no one who worked on it has ever worked in tv ever again
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I'm watching NieR Automata (which is giving me actual brainrot. It's SO GOOD.) and I'm absolutely in LOVE with the way it portrays the human being..... And how much they feel and how the nature of humans is so pure, yet it also shows the greediness, the selfishness of humans. The beautiful and the ugly, the virtuous and the evil. What it means to be and feel human... The joy that humans take in, the simplicity of it, yet it's so beautiful.
I'm just so so so obsessed with that.
#Delete later#It's so clear I love psychology oml... Literally I am a psychological FREAK skjskskskssjsjksks#The nature of humans and the brain is literally so astonishing I can't even begin to describe how powerful it is.....#I could talk about it all day#Sometimes I want to study psychology LOL#Anyways I'm rlly obsessed with the parallels and symbolism in NieR it's so mind blowing honestly...I absolutely LOVE that sm#I'm still in the beginning but wow it's so GOOD... Lowkey know it's gonna be a favorite hehehehehe#I'm already obsessed with it and with 2B and 9S šš„ŗ#They're SO ladynoir it's making me go INSANE.... Genuinely I love 2B and 9S sm..... They're everything to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee#I'm so so so so normal u guys#SO NORMAL#nier automata#kai talks
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NOT YOU
#I KNEW POKING AROUND AND LOOKING AT EVERYTHING WOULD GET ME SOMEWHERE I DIDNT WANT TO BE EVENTUALLY#i shouldve killed her in moonrise lowkey#its fine#its whatever#i dont even care#ignore the conditions on the side i play this game normally#bg3 posting
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9 years ago today my life changed forever all thanks to a metal box and a music fest happy concussaversary!!!
#okay real talk I think Iāve navigated the permanent side effects spectacularly given the everything but still!#sometimes I think about how much of my life Iāve lost to this stupid little injury#baby del im sorry for not taking you to a doctor sooner and Iām sorry for letting you go to that dance#and Iām sorry for thinking you were indestructable when you were just a kid#again I am so blessed that I am living a relatively normal life despite the damage that was done and I know not everyone is that blessed#anyway idk if this feeling counts as grief but itās grief adjacent maybe#mourning what could have been#ANYWAY a metal box smashed my head in and that is kind of funny lowkey#anyway Iām celebrating with a headache today which I have more often than not so
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every lucifer is like old man coded huh
#im talking to myself#as i do constantly#and my rambling led me to this train of thought#cause i was thinking about how a lot of higher beings seem to just be very intense about their feelings#and i was wondering why they seem to be just stuck in the past#at least in that aspect#like in fictional modern stories when they interact with the modern world#they dont seem clueless about tech and stuff#but they always have big big feelings#its just funny to think about#since yea u could say humans were kinda similar in the past#but over time we r (technically) acting more lowkey u know#why dont the demons and angels and gods not do this too?#and then my brain started thinking about how lucifers seem to be kinda old school#cause theyre so freakin old and all#but they wont be completely clueless about modern shit tho at the same time#u know everything but never figure out how to let go#and of course when romance gets involved everyone starts freaking out#things that would make a human a yandere#is considered normal for these beings#anyways yea some of my thoughts this evening#ig it makes sense...like when u live that long u have all the time in the world to obsess over dumb shit#humans either learn to let go or end up spending a good chunk of their life over meaningless stuff#that actively makes their quality of life worse
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who iāve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think itās a manic episode but we donāt really know but itās. terrifying lowkey#he thinks heās genuinely jesus and that heās conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#heās been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ābecause itās 6:20 this is trueā and like āi know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understandā#and heāll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but itās all nonsense#iām just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i donāt know how to ensure that happens cause heās 19. not a minor#heās just. not him rn. heās called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you canāt get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didnāt sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but weāre leaving today and i donāt wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but itās just. scary. i donāt know what to do. i donāt think thereās any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain heās Not Him rn so they donāt get concerned but who knows if theyāll understand what iām trying to say#i know itās not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she canāt stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. weāre all too scared itās going in the directon where he thinks itās better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but heās Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back itās really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. heāll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but heās Not Him. and canāt give it#i just. really want this to get better but itās so hard to see that happening rn
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I've been in a slump with sims lately so I tried to do some wholesome family and farming gameplay. But now my heavily pregnant sim and her grandma are caught up in a love triangle and I don't know what to do!
#they did it on their own!#and lowkey the grandma has a better chance#depending on how everything goes i might post them on here#why can my game never be normal#citrinexspeaks#š
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can I be done unpacking complexes I got from my parents now we have a weirdly complicated and strained relationship already and I don't think opening up any more cans of worms is gonna make that BETTER
#this post prompted by my wife rewatching steven universe and getting to the ep about meeting connie's parents#and me half watching being like 'this is amateur hour. heres the much more thoroughly planned and believable lie i would have gone with'#and then being like. well its a childrens show. so obviously the lesson will be that the lying was wrong and unnecessary or whatever#and then thinking like. man i automatically related WAY too hard with the primal fear that leads you to compulsively lie to your parents#about EVERYTHING even things they might be fine with. just to be on the safe side#and the feeling of total dread that comes with not being able to come up with anything good#and im voicing all this to my wife as if its totally normal and relatable and shes just giving me the š and im like. Ah.#anyway. theyll be in town next week for the wedding and ive lowkey been avoiding their calls so thats gonna be fun to deal with
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Lol I keep on doing this, saying I'd come back to tumblr to only disappear again šš
#and i hate it bc i miss being on here#but also i don't have to force myself or feel guilty for it#bc if i'm fr being on social media is just so time consuming and also not what is good for my mental health often#and that includes tumblr#it's not even that it's a toxic place (at least not the content i'm consuming) but sometimes i just rather spend my time with people irl#meeting someone than on social media and like focus on my life#the last month or so was just really difficult for me and i haven't been feeling so bad mentally in forever#i mean it always is like that that time of the year but i feel like i was worse this year#whenever autumn comes around with the darkness and cold i seem to hit a low mentally#when i tell you how much better my mood is in summer spring how much better i feel everyday regardless of everything else#i get people like autumn but for me its literally the worst and winter too altough at some point it gets better#maybe i adapt and maybe because i spend more time outside around christmas when i go home that's usually a turning point#and ig also the lights of december make it a bit better#but mid october to november is awful#this year the weather was much worse beginning of october was much worse#i feel like i lowkey have this seasonal mood disorder idk#but i barely managed to go to classes and i had no motivation#usually i always make myself study and do the things i have to atleast altough i often terribly procrastinate#but now i was barely able to do this and i had things to do but i couldn't make myself i missed a deadline closely#luckily my professors are the best but i felt so horrible for it how i was unable to get it done#sunlight is just so good for my mood and ik how doctors say how you should avoid it because you can get skincancer#but like i'd rather than my mental health being this bad (not that i want either)#i already miss summer so much and being happier#but tbh i haven't felt this good as I do today in weeks and even this whole week was better#i exercised more than usual altough i tried to in the last weeks i couldn't as often as i normally do so maybe this actually helps a lot#and i studied yesterday today and i will tomorrow i finally feel motivation again#besides i also tried to break up with my bf so that was also tough but i couldn't lol#i tried talking to him and tell him in the nicest way but he didn't get what i was trying to do and i couldn't say more bc i felt horrible#but maybe that's for the better altough i had these thoughts for a while that he just isn't the one for me and that we're too different...#i do really like him as a person the way he treats me and i'm still into him but i just felt like it wouldn't work
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free balling it also nothing was entertaining and no laughs were had. i'm accosted by noises and apathetic about a project i think should be fun???
and if anyone knows - are the people closest to you supposed to respect you more or less than people who aren't as close? i might be experiencing things backwards or whatever. or ruined more shit idk. no love in this house.
#whatever whatever#i'm still feeling ok but also bad. everything's loud and annoying#and i have like 3 hours to finish this but i have no concept of time like ever.#which weirdly got better after lamictal but not that better#404 not found#like lowkey i Do Not think my friends would call the cops on me or even joke about that#but needless to say they do not know me as well as they could. i guess.#anyway. i'm not normal and i'm not being normal about it. i have therapy today and maybe i should bring that up but i'm probz gonna mask lol#if i can help it. we'll see. gotta pick a friend's brain about how to do that
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spent last night / a lot of today reading a few hs.r theories and tbh there's like two that has an effect on my characters / their portrayal that i wanna mention below incase it adds more to any future / existing dynamics !
a.) the ten stonehearts sapphire is, infact, guinaifens brother. my personal hc is that she has no clue but he values order above all else following what happened to their planet. still, he does keep an eye on her streams and competitions! ( has definitely been late to a meeting or two because of them too ... )
b.) luoch.a is an enamator of the abundance, but a pathstrider of the hunt. i will expand on this further but it probs means he holds the blessing of a long life species, even though he isn't particularly interested as such.
#ā Ā Ā ā” Ā Ā āŗ Ā Ā jupiter Ā : Ā šØšØš.#theres a lot more i wanna apply to lu.ocha bc there are so many good theories but lowkey. need to explore things before i just give it all#( also i think theres a hc i need to write in between it )#the differences between these two are so funny.#the past and the future. guinaif.en protected by someone she doesnt even know#( i would write sapphire if i could handle canon absolutely obliterating everything i make up for him... )#and luo.cha hates it. hates it so much he did NOT want this ... hes trying his best everyone. his interactions with all the HCQ were#inevitable. he cant meet a general without them disliking him for some reason. but it is as was said. only an enamator would have been able#to do what he did ...#anyway good EVENING if i said i am in the mood to write super long stuff. what would u say.#i will probably finish my carrd for my other blog bc i found a new template today so#:pray: wish me luck#all is returning somewhat to normal <3
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