#everything is just going backwards???
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Can’t sleep because I’m so IRRITATED!!!!!
#all I wanna do is play travel town but that game wants 10 dollars for just opening it#and I miss him more than usual which is so fucking weird and annoying bc I’ve been doing fine for a while now#everything is just going backwards???#all progress I’ve made with my mental health and lifestyle I’ve just completely reversed??#what’s wrong with meeeeee#I don’t wanna start over!!!!!!
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mombin pt 6 and look who showed up
(1)(2)(3)(4) (5)
#stranger things#platonic stobin#steddie#steve harrington#robin buckley#eddie munson#cw pregnancy#sorry to rob you of the meet cute but steve's got a lot going on. sometimes he needs a tinder date#someone said on my first mombin 'steddies will insert eddie into everything' kshjsdjsdjs#yes i will. i would be betraying myself if i didn't#ALSO#there is a teeny little plothole/inconsistency somewhere in this#it's like. easily explainable#i want to see if anyone else notices it#it's not that the car is backwards btw let's say that was just a crazy u turn
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there are two types of elden ring fan:
the normal one
and then this guy
#the second guy just doesn’t like what he read#obviously fromsoft were lying#just like how they lie about malenia being undefeated or that the fight between her and radahn ended in a stalemate#everything’s a lie when it comes to miquella and malenia apparently#and yet people will bend over backwards and come up with the most elaborate shit#to try and paint certain other characters as mr nice guy who can do no wrong#truly the fandom of all time#bitch my girl did not go through hell and back dragging her wife all the way home just to get slandered like this#cleanrot knight finlay#malenia blade of miquella#elden ring
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Sight of a Star - Blue-ish Star Ryōshū and Don Quixote
#HERES HOW BLUE-ISH STAR BELIEVERS CAN STILL WIN I PROMISE#Rendering sucks but I do like how these look very much. I hate drawing armour. big fan of dramatic shadows however.#but! as for justifications:#B-iS is an abno regarding what one so desperately wants but cannot have - possibly connecting to Blue Star and the paradise-like place-#people wish to reach by throwing themselves into it. though what is offered by B-iS is a much less refined yet as tantalising#given the text of 'The irresistible allure is almost tearing you apart' and the less refined bit being implied by both design#[jagged edges of the actual blue shape and legs like dolls - both unlike BS' much rounder and more naturalistic design]#in short it's the manifestation of impossible dreams - for Don this is her quest for a just knighthood in the City of all places#and for Ryōshū [though idk her source] it is her final work of art - the Hell Screen#when approached one's body is 'pushed away' as if a manifestation of how it is unachievable. at least it is for them#'To be truly blue the one with the true blue must be left alone in one’s blueness.'#is what I interpret as: 'to truly dream the dreamer must be left to one's fantasies'#dreams by nature do not intersect well with reality. all their flaws will be shown and they will crack under the pressure of the real world#it is why the dream pushes them away. to preserve itself. also probably has something to do with how DQ also has void dream#and this abno gives pride boosts in its event. and I personally see pride as a sort of 'self assurance' or 'self above others' so to speak#as to chase ones dreams one must think themselves the exception. as the one that can persevere over the City#plus the HP damage and the various juxtapositions in the 'forward' option may be in reference to how dreams and reality don't mix.#harming those who chase them. though all the same the 'backwards' option shows that simply tossing them aside shall hurt in its own way#to think oneself 'impure' enough to give up on chasing it is all the same resignation on your uniqueness#as for the gift: the name is possibly to do with how lower stars seem easier to reach. and the effect of damage at minus SP....#going insane dream chasing?#but to take ones leave allows for it to be left behind without any further effects. you did not look at your dreams. acknowledge them at al#but are you better off like that? not dreaming? forgetting that brilliantly unfinished star?#but anyways I hope you liked my rambles. also this abno and everything related to Blue Star is so tastefully C flavoured that I love them#and fun fact! when I was first generally mapping sinners to unfightable/EGOless abnos I entirely forgot Ryōshū somehow. which led to this.#they don't have weapons they just kick real hard and it works well enough#limbus company#ryōshū lcb#don quixote lcb#🎠🚬
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to you (unfinished, off the top of my head) x Fall Out Boy lyrics
in order: (Coffee’s For Closers), Sugar, We’re Going Down, CFC, Thriller, Miss Missing You, w.a.m.s., I Am My Own Muse, w.a.m.s., Favorite Record, CFC
#i know several of these preceded to you unfinished and i also know that several are Not directly from that post#HOWEVER#every time i hear that line in muse i think of it and i am constantly thinking about this specific piece of pete’s poetry echoing#forward and backward throughout their history#i didn’t include saturday bc pete already did. and also i needed sugar in there i think about that SO much#lie on the grass next to the mausoleum // fell asleep on the grass in the summer fest days… WAUGH#also there’s some pretty easy ties to west coast smoker and XO if you wanted to go there but i kinda didn’t#bc that’s the one section that wouldn’t quite fit properly in the layout of this#but ‘’ Wake up on the west coast inside a flask’’ // west coast smoker#and ‘’ The good books in the drawer next to the bed you pissed in’’ // XO chorus#idk i just think about all the parallels A Lot idk if i like the way this turned out or how i cropped everything but like. yeah#it’s 1am this is what i’ve got#Lu rambles#music#fob#fall out boy#pete wentz#web weaving#lyric comps#kinda???
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Zane’s greatest fear is losing his humanity And they did That to him in the movie
#This haunts me sorry . There’s a bit of a ramble in these tags#Because I was literally screaming about it w my bf earlier#oh my GOD.#ninjago#zane julien#zane ninjago#HE WAS JUST A ROBOT TO THOSE DIRECTORS….….. HE IS SO MUCH MORE. IM GOING TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT??#If show Zane and movie Zane met I think Show Zane would immediately go into shock#then probably try to encourage Movie to go try some new stuff and see new sights or something#anything but just being a robotic punchline#I TRULY LIVE IN THE WORST TIMELINE PLEAAASE#I love movie Zane as his own funny guy but yall CANNOT tell me that is the same man#I could genuinely talk about this for like an hour straight . how did they get everything in that movie so backwards
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Soooo...how are you liking bg3? 😁
I've had this game for twelve days
#baldur's gate 3#what is sleep? I don't know her#replies#ltleflrt#I am genuinely obsessed and in love and it's perfection#I finished act 2 this weekend but I still have act 3 to go so no spoilers please my loves#the funniest part is that I am doing everything ass-backwards half the time#walked right by Astarion and missed him for 85% of act 1#could not find his ass#lmao#went and rescued Halsin without talking to the goblins and had to fight my way out on like 0 long rests and no hp#i keep fucking up but i'm having so much fun#I love everyone so much with all their flaws and annoying bits#i'm madly in love with Halsin though naturally like. I want someone to read me bedtime stories about him in love.#It's slightly ridiculous. I might have to write fic just to scratch my itch even though RPG fic with a PC is naturally incredibly niche
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I FINALLY MOVED OUT TO A NEW PLACE!!!
i'm absolutely exhausted and i still need to unpack so many things and i still need to buy a proper desk and restock my groceries & supplies and a do a whole lot of other things BUT i'm hoping to get settled in soon so i can get back to the creative endeavors™️✨
love yall, stay safe, take care, and good vibes 🫶🏻
#rin rambles#i dont want to bog this with negativity but i do want to share stuff so imma do it in a way that makes me look forward and not backwards#honestly this wasn't the place that i actually wanted and got excited for several months ago#i had to make adjustments because unfortunately the landlord was a huge red flag and i decided i didn't want to sign#and sure enough she never returned my security deposit of 1.5months until this day despite saying she would every day for like a whole mont#and though it is hard and devastating i don't want to potentially sabotage my own future so i've decided to not take any legal action#i just hope. that that money can be of use to her in some way. get her out of a tough spot perhaps#it was a struggle to get to this point of actually feeling fine letting go without breaking down but!!! it's fine. i'm fine#and karma will find a way if it was truly done out of purely malicious intention!#i'm closing that book and stowing it away lovingly into a shelf because if anything it was. a powerful lesson.#as much as it sucks. never. ever. trust a person when it comes to business or transactions. no matter how 'put together' they seem#always have everything on paper and never EVER pay something until they demonstrate that they can be trusted#anyway#the people helping me move today were super friendly and nice and it made my day!!#and so far i love love love the privacy so much. a bathroom all to myself? a kitchen countertop?? for myself??? that's so crazy#i had to battle thru cobwebs and (fored to) cured my arachnophobia by force /j#and there was a power trip unfortunately but overall everything seems nice! i would have liked having the room on a higher floor but ah wel#ough my back........... _(;3」 z)_
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Ok, how would Dance and Prison AU go together? 😌
HEAR ME OUT HERE because i have an idea but its so dumb
basically oscar is still a driver who gets roped into some kind of f1 charity event. now the idea is pretty simple: bunch of drivers/personel put on funny acts etc and all the ticket sales go to charity.
oscar somehow get roped into doing an all driver rendition of the cell block tango. he isn't really sure how he ended up here either.
now thankfully f1 isn't fully dropping them into the dark (oscar's pretty sure he couldn't dance a tango to save his life) but they get the help of professional broadway stars who will also join them during the performance.
enter broadway's newest hottest star, lando norris.
now lando did also kind of get roped into this. he isn't that hyped about it because like. this is obviously going to be a group of stocky macho men who aren't going to take the art of broadway theatre seriously.
except then he meets oscar and oscar is???? sweet?? and kind??? and so bad at dancing but he tries, he really tries, and he blushes so prettily every time lando so much as puts a hand on his waist and oh. oh thats. oh no oscar is cute
anyway they spend a few weeks rehearsing and slowly growing towards each other and then the night of the final performance comes and lando has super mixed feelings because??? it went great??? but also high chance he will now never see oscar again
but then oscar waits for him backstage, still sweaty in his way too tight tank top and jeans, looking all flushed and cute and smiley and he hestitantly asks lando if he wants to go get a drink after and lando's like !!! oh!!! maybe NOT the end!!!
#then they kiss kiss fall in love obviously#went with landoscar because that's just my go to at this point#this idea was brought to you by my weird obsession with the cell block tango#and also that one all men performance they did once for broadway backwards#anyway you guys understimate my abbility to turn any and everything fluffy
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im gonna puke actually, i low key feel like everything in my life is falling apart and i have no hope left
#like its a fictional ship but it really does feel like everything just keeps going backwards#maddie is always pregnant henren is always fostering buck is always getting broken up with eddie is always mourning his dead wife
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"You didn't think one brief chat would be enough, did you?"
Their love language is sass.
#I've been thinking about this all day#the way Fav thinks Dorian's going in for a kiss#but nope he's walking him backwards through a door in the sassiest way possible#I just... I love everything about it#inquisitor favian#dragon age shenanigans#dorian pavus#da:i#dragon age#favian friday?#yeah why not it's favian friday
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doppelgängers will have you having a life altering freakout in the bathroom of a pizza restaurant
#i need to stop 🛑 crying and get back to work immediately#he looked just like him. JUST like him#and my brain knows it couldn’t be him. he’s not getting out for ten years at least even if he makes parole#he’s probably going to die in there.#and my brain remembers the way our entire lives tilted backwards the day us kids found out why we could never see him again#but my body doesn’t know that. and i hate myself knowing that even with everything he did if i saw him today#i would just want to cry and run into his arms.because i miss him. God help me#God why did he do it. to my sweet mama. to my dear beautiful grandma. so many lives ruined for what. why did he do it to us#ugh what is the use of even writing all this. i’m deleting it after work#christ have mercy.
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I haven't had any time to draw this week between working extra hours at the gallery and musical tech week and I teach at a music camp next week! So instead I wanted to share what it looks like to be in an orchestra pit (especially for people who have never seen one before). The conductor is on a platform and the opening allows the conductor to see what's going on stage so they can cue both the pit ensemble and the cast ensemble on stage. I've had a little experience conducting the end of Handel's Alcina and it was SO NEAT seeing everyone and the stage so close up, while being able to work with the pit musicians. I always joked its the best seat in the house (also the most nerve-wracking)
tbh, this pit is one of the nicest I've been in, they're usually just concrete and dust 😭 the other one I usually play in also has a low ceiling so I can't pull my endpin out and use a stool for playing so I have to play like a literal gremlin 😂
This is what it's supposed to look like:
Here's me with the worst posture and hoping my professor doesn't come down to see this atrocious technique:
I've played in a lot of musicals, some of my favorites being Elf, Sound of Music, Ride the Cyclone, Newsies, and recently Beauty and the Beast! My favorite opera to play in was Puccini's Gianni Schicchi, which is an absolute riot of an opera (it's basically Weekend at Bernie's).
#omg i just realized i drew myself playing backwards 😂 whoops i blame it on just getting done with a performance#playing in elf was my first time playing the bass and I had such a blast and was convinced I needed to start studying bass#i did ride the cyclone this past fall and it was SO FREAKING FUN and it required me to play both electric and double bass#maybe someday i'll actually pick up a musical director gig but at the same time it seems SO TERRIFYING#like you literally have to know EVERYTHING on stage and musically#there's so much going on inside your head anyways conducting that adding extra elements means you gonna make mistakes#i hope you enjoyed my ramblings about music#maestrarambles
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if you fantasize about making a butch play a predatory and uncaring role. if you fantasize about this in order to fulfill your own self-centered desire, without any care or consideration of how butches have been made to feel by society for decades, you cant call yourself femme. not sorry
#like the reason why butches are so fucking scared in the first place is bc we are seen as predatory masculinity#so we do everything to bend over backwards to NOT be seen that way.#if you fantasize about this without consideration for the butch's feelings AT ALL. and just see them as#an object of desire to fuck you whichever way you please#go fuck yourself. cause im not doing it for you.#delete later#maybe.
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I do not see what's so difficult about understanding that you can care about people without loving them??? people do it all the time and yet when you point that out they deny it and act like it's such a foreign concept.
like you guys don't actually love strangers - you can care about them and feel bad when they are hurt but you cannot tell me you "love" them. You can still care when someone you hate gets hurt - that doesn't mean you love them. Care =/= love it's not that difficult to understand.
#text#love#loveless#loveless aro#maybe lovelesss idk#i feel like that maybe fits#also if someone says 'what about love thy neighbor' im going to kill them because we all know that christian bs doesnt actually mean love#like sorry but christians idea of love is kinda bs lmao#i swear tho ppl are making it harder than it needs to be#and also i think they just hate the idea of ppl not loving that they bend over backwards and warp normal experiences#to fit their narrative of 'everyone loves and everything is love' bs
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mannnnnnnnbb fuck November I’m so tired of feeling lonely in my own life.
#lee’s bullshit#even being in [redacted] will not save you from the depths of November#trying to remind myself things are always changing and I can’t stop putting myself out there but I am tired.#what I am doing clearly is not enough in any respect and I am tired of feeling so worn to the bone all the time.#huge social miss today at the function. woke up late and ruined the schedule. couldn’t make a clear decision on dinner.#haven’t found a replacement roommate. haven’t finished my portfolio. haven’t applied to internships. haven’t finished my final project.#behind on everything and with every step I take I get pulled further and further backwards.#my roommate is graduating early and i feel like it’s my fault.#i shouldn’t blame myself for someone else’s bad behavior but im still beating myself up for being a cause for it.#my other roommate wants to move out to live on her own next year.#also blaming myself for that even tho its always on me to fix the mess of housing every damn semester#I’m just so tired of feeling like I’m not doing enough and even when I am that it just simply doesn’t matter.#saw one of my friends today but only for an hour. texting the group is like sending a blind pigeon out in a gale.#I know that things will get better but it’s just so hard . if someone genuinely asked how I was doing I could cry on the spot.#none of my friends are close enough anymore not at home not at school not in my family. there’s nowhere to go.#just tired. Going to go to bed soon. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
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